Introduction - Not even that random
It was a stormy night in the Crystal Kingdom. Shining Armor stood on the balcony of his room and looked up in the sky, as his mane waved in the wind. Clouds covered the moon and only a few stars were visible. He thought of Princess Cadence once again. Five days ago she had left to visit Princess Twilight in Canterlot and she has not sent a letter yet.
"I hope she is alright", Shining Armor said while he walked back into his room, "I should have gone with her"
He closed the door of the balcony and trotted to his bed. Suddenly the door to his room flung open and a guard with blue mane ran in: it was Flash Sentry.
"Sir! SIR!", he shouted, exhausted.
"What is going on?", Shining Armor asked, confused.
"We have received a letter from Princess Cadence."
Shining Armor smiled, "Give it to me! Quickly!"
Flash pulled out the letter and handed it over to Shining Armor. He was excited, hopefully his wife was okay. He opened the letter with his magic and quickly read through it.The letter was not from Princess Cadence, somepony was trying to fool him.
Dear...uhm...Shining Armor, correct? You may not know me, but I know you... No wait, that's too cliché. Just think of a cool introduction yourself, okay? Awesome! Now, let me tell you something: My name is Casus Fors, I am a unicorn from another world, far from Equestria. That world is a cruel place, but let’s not focus on that, let me get to the point. Your princess is not here anymore. She’s not dead or anything; I could not hurt a fly. She is now in my world. But don’t worry! She’s not alone: She is there together with these two princesses. You know, the ones with sun and moon on their butts? Anyway, I guess you know who I am talking about. You want them back? Come see me in Canterlot! I am kind of bad with writing letters. Hugs and love, Casus
PS: Oh, your sister is there too.
Shining Armor dropped the letter as tears came up in his eyes.
“Flash?”
“Yes, Sir?”
“Get me to Canterlot as fast as you can!”
Shining Armor woke up with a headache. Standing up groggily, he found that he was in the throne room of the Canterlot castle.
“How did I get here?”, he said to himself
Somepony behind him giggled. He turned around and saw a ridiculous looking unicorn. His mane and his beard were green, pink and messed up. His coat was violet and his tail had a weird brownish colour with bright violet lines in it. His cutie-mark was some kind of strange looking dog-face.
“So you are the pony who “kidnapped” Cadence?”, Shining Armor raised an eyebrow, “Are you serious?”
Casus Fors smiled, “Yes that would be me and I am totally serious. If I were you, I would be a little more careful about what you say though. I mean, I just teleported you here”
“That was you?”
“Yes, indeed”
“How did you do that? Your magic can’t be that powerful”
“Oh, so you want to hear my life story?”
“No, to be honest…I just want to…”
Casus put a leg over Shining Armor’s shoulder. Shining tried to use his magic to get it off but his headache distracted him too much.
“I’m going to tell it to you anyway. I started out as…uhm…”, he put his hoof on his chin, “Actually, let’s not tell you my life story.”
A green light covered Shining Armor.
“What are you doing?”, he asked while he hovered above the ground. Casus Fors laughed.
“I’m bringing you to the place where I brought the others. Have fun there”
After a few seconds, Shining Armor disappeared. Casus walked towards the throne, smiling and talking to himself, “Seems like we finally did it, old friend. After trying so hard in so many different universes we finally achieved something. We are getting close to rule this land. The most powerful ponies are gone, now I just need to sit back, relax and use my powers.”
He sat down on the throne and stretched; he smiled again.
“You know what?” he talked to himself again, “Maybe I should have told him a bit more about myself.”, he put on a thoughtful face, “Actually, I have already annoyed Twilight, Luna, Celestia and Cadence with my monologue. Monologues are cliché anyway. Ugh…I don’t like clichés.”, he gasps, “Wait a minute, I'm having a monologue right now! Damnit!”
“Who is this pony?”, Shining Armor stood in front of Twilight, Cadence, Luna and Celestia. They were all standing in a big, dark room.
“He annoyed me with a monologue so I basically know everything about him”, Cadence said.
“Me too”, Twilight nodded her head.
“And me too”, Celestia replied.
“I was not listening to him.”, Luna said with a smile, “Monologues are not something special, trust me, I know what I am talking about”
Shining Armor looked at Cadence, “Well then, who is he?”
Cadence cleared her throat, “He told us about something called “The Seventh Element”. Apparently he possesses it.”
“What is this element? Does it have something to do with the Elements of Harmony?”
“No”, Twilight shook her head, “It is a separate element. I have never read about it. It is called: Randomness”
“Dun dun duuuun”, Luna shouted with an overly dramatic face. Twilight, Cadence and Shining looked at her, confused. Celestia smiled, embarrassed.
“Sorry”, Luna said, “The situation compelled me to do that. Almost as if something forced my hoof”
“Could that be Casus Fors’ element?”, Cadence asked.
“No”, Celestia replied, “It is something else. Do not worry about it”
“She is right, you do not have to worry about it”, Luna said with a grin, “What we should worry about is the fact that we are apparently trapped in here”
It was a sunny day in Ponyville. Fluttershy took care of some chickens who wanted to cross the road, Rarity made fancy saddles for her friends, Rainbow Dash slept on a cloud high up in the sky, Applejack talked to Applebloom about the different types of apples and Pinkie Pie did Pinkie Pie stuff.
“Oh, what is that?”, she said excitedly as she spotted a an odd imprint on the ground, resembling a dog's face. She went closer and touched it. Immediately she got teleported to Canterlot Castle’s Throne room.
“Hey, that was fun!”, she shouted, then she spotted Casus Fors; she started laughing, “Hehe, you look silly”
“You are Pinkie Pie, correct?”
“Yes, I am!”
“You are known for breaking the fourth wall, is that correct?”
“Hmm... I don't know what that means, but maybe these guys do!" she said, pointing at you.
Casus stared blankly at the portion of air Pinkie had indicated before chuckling, "Alright, close enough. You also like Randomness, is that correct?"
“Yes, I love it! My friends are telling me so often that I’m random so I guess I love it. I do not know, am I random right now? If I am random does that mean I like randomness?”
“Uh…Yeah, I guess”
“Then I like randomness”
Casus smiled, “Good, very good.”, he patted her head, “You and me, we will change this world”
“Really? How?”
“Let me rephrase that”, a green flash from Casus’ horn hit Pinkie, “I will change this world and you will help me indirectly”
Casus Fors sat on the throne in Canterlot Castle; he wore a crown with his cutie-mark on it.
“Does the crown make me look stupid?”, he asked a guard with a red coat that stood next to him.
“You mean more stupid”, the guard said.
“What?”
“Never mind, you look good with it”, the guard rolled his eyes.
“Thanks, Luke”, Casus smiled.
“Why are you still calling me that? I thought we talked about it”, the guard looked at him.
“Yes, we did”, Casus chuckled.
“Then why aren’t you using the name I want?”
“Because it sounds ridiculous”, Casus threw his hoofs in the air.
“Says the guy with crappy shoes and the stupidest cutie-mark imaginable”
Casus laughed, “Okay, you have a point there. Fine, I will call you Red Mist”
“Thank you”, Red Mist grinned as he took off his helmet and scratched his head, “This stupid thing itches”
“Then why are you wearing it?”
“You told me to, remember? I have no idea why but you told me to”
“You want to know why?”, Casus jumped off the throne and fell on his face. Red Mist burst out laughing.
“Hahaha! Man, you should have seen your face while falling! It was like this”, Red Mist made a silly face, “And when you landed on the floor it was like “Splat!”. Oh crap, that was hilarious! Haha”
Casus Fors pushed himself up as he wiped his hoof on his face, “Was it really that funny?”, he asked as he walked towards Red Mist who was crying of laughter.
“Hehe. Yes, it was quite funny”, Red Mist wiped the tears away, “I have not seen something like that since we have come here”
“So, ready to hear the story about why we came here?”
“Again?”
“Yes, again”
“Hmm…”, Red Mist looked at the ceiling, thoughtfully, “Sure, why not. I mean, in case someone is watching us and writes down every move we make, it would be quite useful”
“Okay, then let me tell you the story again.”
The door to the throne rooms flung open. Red Mist and Casus Fors turned around and looked surprised at the entrance. A orange pony with a blue mane walked in.
“Dammit, not him again”, Casus whispered to himself as he put on a fake smile, “Flash Sentry, my favourite guard! Why are you here?”
Flash walked towards Casus and Red Mist as he flapped his wings in anger, “You know why I am here!”
Casus thought for a second, “Sorry, but I think not”
Flash stood in front of him and put his hoof on Casus’ chest.
“Hey! Nopony is allowed to touch…”, Red Mist began but was interrupted by Flash who kicked him in the face. Red Mist fell on the floor, unconsciously.
“Listen Casus”, Flash snorted, “It has been three years now; Three years since you took over this land and I have not yet seen any of the things you promised me!”
Casus wiped off Flash’s Hoof from his chest and looked at him, coldly, “First of all: Thank you for hitting Red Mist; even though we are good friends, sometimes he gets annoying. Secondly: What did I promise you? As far as I remember I didn’t promise you anything. I said that if you do not get anything, you will get everything; that is a paradox, it does not work.”
“You are a dirty trickster, Casus”, Flash said.
“I would not consider myself dirty”, Casus smiled as a Pig wearing a propeller-hat flew in the room.
Flash looked at the pig and then at Casus, “Is that the work of your stupid element?”
“Yes, indeed. I would not call it stupid though”
“Admit it, you know that it is stupid”, Flash said as the pig crashed into a wall.
“It is not stupid, it is funny”
“You call that humor?”, Flash pointed at the pig which was now spinning in circles, “This is not funny at all. It feels like you are trying to create funny moments with stupid, senseless and random stuff”
“Hello”, Casus pointed at his crown, “Element of Randomness, forgot?”
“How could I? It is the most ridiculous looking element.”
Casus laid his head on his shoulder, “When did you change your personality?”
“What do you mean?”, Flash put on a confused face.
“I thought you were a nice pony”
Flash laughed, “You never got to know me well; nopony did”
Red Mist stood up and shook his head, “Why did you do that?”, he still felt a little dizzy.
“It was fun”, Casus and Flash replied at the same time. Red Mist laughed sarcastically, “oh, Haha. Very funny. Almost as funny as you, Casus”
“So it was hilarious?”, Casus asked.
“No. You are only funny when you hurt yourself”, Red Mist said, coldly. Flash nodded his head, “He is right about that”
“So nopony thinks I am funny?”, Casus looked a bit sad.
“Convince me of the opposite; tell a joke”, Red Mist said. Casus laughed, “You want me to tell a joke? There is nothing easier than that. Wait a second, let me think”, Casus pulled his beard with his right hoof and thought of a joke. Usually it wasn't hard for him to make a joke but he knew that Red Mist would not like his standard jokes; he had to think of something special.
“Ha”, Casus stomped on the ground, excited, “ I got one”
“Tell it”, Flash sat down on the floor, “I am sure it is going to be so hilarious”, his face showed that he was being sarcastic.
“Ok. What do you call a Donkey with three legs?”
“I do not know, what?”, Red Mist asked, bored.
“A wonkey”
A cricked jumped into the room and started chirping. Casus looked at it, “The Element stroke again!”
“You mean the Element of Boredom”, Flash said, “That joke was bad and racist”
Red Mist chuckled, “I think it was somewhat funny. A good-bad joke, if you know what I mean”
“Thank you Red!”, Casus smiled, “At least somepony thinks my jokes are funny”
“Whatever”, Flash said as he stood up, “Everypony has its own opinion.”, he trotted towards the door.
“Please stay, we had so much fun!”, Casus shouted as Red Mist laughed.
“That was sarcasm. I do not like sarcasm”, Flash said without turning around, “Because I do not like sarcasm I am going to tell it to you, directly. Casus, you are not funny and Red Mist, you are a douchebag”, he closed the door behind him.
“Did I do anything wrong?”, Red asked, confused, “I mean, he was the one who kicked me”
“He was also the one who came here for no reason and interrupted our conversation. He just wasted our precious time”
“Actually, I should thank him”, Red Mist grinned, “I never wanted to hear our story again, anyway”
“Come on!”, Casus punched Red softly in the shoulder, “You love our story”
Red Mist smiled; Casus was right, he does like the story, even though it is quite boring and not really interesting. He watched Casus as he walked back to his throne. They knew each other since twenty years now; three of which they have spent in this world. They both loved it here, it was much better than the other world. Red thought for a moment; he knew why they came here but what he did not know was what Casus wanted to do next. According to him, he just wanted to have some fun here but Red knew his friend; he always wanted something bigger; it may didn't seem like it but Red was sure that Casus was not fully satisfied yet. He still wanted something more.
“Red? Are you okay?”, Casus asked. Red recognized that he was staring on the floor for the last minute.
“Uhm..yeah, I’m fine. I just thought a bit”, Red trotted towards the throne and sat down next to it.
“Oh, okay”, Casus replied, “Are you ready for phase two?”
“What do you mean with phase two?”, Red Mist asked, confused.
“Oh, right. I forgot telling you about it. Dammit, Flash’s visit really messed up my whole schedule. Anyway, I was talking about phase two of our plan to take over Equestria. We came pretty far in the last few years but we forgot one thing: what about the others that tried to take over this land? What about Discord, Chrysalis, Sombra and Nightmare Moon?”
“They all failed because of Twilight Sparkle which you locked away in our old world.”
“Exactly! Twilight Sparkle is now gone which means that these villains may try to take over Equestria, too”
“Now that you say it, you might be correct”, Red Mist said, “What do you want to do? Do you want to ban them in our world too?”
“No, I have a better plan; we will visit them and then have a nice talk”
“You think talking to them will convince them not to try to take over Equestria?”
“You know about my convincing skills”, his horn flashed green as Red Mist laughed, “Of course I know about your talents”
“Besides securing our regency, this is also perfect for telling everypony how we took over Equestria”
“Why do you want to tell them?”
Casus Fors smiled, “Oh, right, I never told you. Nopony except me and you remembers how I took over Equestria, not even Pinkie Pie”
“Not even Pinkie Pie remembers?”, Red Mist asked.
“No”, Casus said as he opened a trapdoor, “She does not”, a big sphere came out of the ground; Pinkie Pie was floating in it, covered by a strange, green light; she was unconscious.
“And what makes it even better is that nopony remembers her”
“Dun dun duuuun”, Luna said.
“Are you kidding me?”, Shining Armor said, annoyed. He was looking for an exit in the dark black room. Time passed much slower in here than in Equestria.
“Why did you even do that this time?”, Cadence asked.
“It is okay”, Twilight said, “Princess Celestia said we do not have to worry about it.”
Suddenly Luna fell on the ground and stopped moving. Everypony looked at her with surprised eyes.
“Maybe we should worry now”, Celestia said and ran towards her unconscious sister.
