Jason's misadventures in ponyland

Jason rolled over in his bed and yawned. As if replying to his yawn, a ray of sunlight crept through his blinds and hit him directly in the eyes. Jason grumbled something generic about the sun being an ass before slowly pushing himself into an upright position. He blinked a few times before turning and checking his alarm clock. Six thirty. On a Saturday. 'Damn sun,' he thought, 'Why do you have to rise in the east you shining piece of crap?' Jason fell back onto his pillow and rolled into a position so the sun would be unable to continue it's assault on his eyes. Some unholy power seemed to dislike him getting sleep though and decided to make his phone ring at that exact moment.

"FFFFFFFFF-" Jason started before surrendering to his fate.

Jason pushed his sheets off of himself and quite literally rolled out of bed. He lay on the floor for a second, wishing the phone would stop ringing so he could just sleep there on the floor. It didn't. Jason groaned and got up to retrieve the phone. He picked it up, glared at it for a moment, then smashed the answer button and put the phone to his ear.

"Hello?" he deadpanned.

"Hey Jay! What's up lil' bro? Nevermind, not important. Go check your mailbox. I sent you something a few days ago and it should be in by now. Call me back when you open it."

Click.

The phone droned in Jason's ear while his hand collided with his face. Of course it would be his sister Cady who would ruin his sleep. He loved his sister, but she always seemed to call or text him at perfect moments like this. He sighed and tossed the phone on his messy bed. He started towards the door but realized he still lacked something important. Pants. Chuckling at the thought of his neighbors' reactions as he walked out of his apartment pantsless, he searched his room for a pair of athletic shorts. Picking up a slightly rumpled pair from the floor, he quickly pulled them on and walked towards the door again only to be stopped by his reflection as he passed the mirror over his computer desk. 'Ha, if my hair were a bit more blonde, I'd look like a super saiyan.' he snickered. After admiring his amazing, albeit messy, hair, he combed the mess down with his fingers and continued on his journey to the mailbox, grabbing his key along the way. Jason drifted through the front door and descended the stairs. He opened his 'mailbox' slot and retrieved the ever so important thing that had interrupted his sleep, along with several other letters. He glanced at the letters for a moment before locking his slot and climbing the stairs back to his apartment, though not without saying good morning to an old lady as she left her room to probably retrieve her own mail. Returning to his room, he leafed through the letters until he reached one from his sister's address. Tearing it open with his thumb, he pulled a small slip of paper out and opened it. A single dollar fell out of the blank sheet of paper. Jason stared at the dollar on the floor, unsure whether to laugh hysterically or cry at the loss of sleep for a stupid prank.

"At least the paper didn't just say 'hi'." he muttered.

Jason turned his attention to the other letters in his hand. Might as well check them out since he went through the trouble of getting them. He thumbed through the letters again, this time reading each one carefully. Bill. Bill. Advertisement. Sale promotion. More worthless stuff. He was about to throw the pile in the trash before his eyes ran over the last letter. It was addressed to him in neat cursive and had a wax seal. He examined the letter again to make sure it was actually for him. Yep, 'To Jason of room 114'. He broke the seal and pulled out a letter written in the same neat cursive writing.

Dear Jason,

Of every person on Earth, we have decided to choose you for a little social experiment. We recommend you prepare comfortable clothing and a bag with several of your favorite items. You will be retrieved around three hours after this letter is read. Please prepare adequately and efficiently as you will not be given any extra time to prepare. Also, please be wearing your bag at the time of retrieval as it will make things much easier on all of us. Congratulations for winning and have fun on this little... trip.

Jason looked at the letter and laughed. This had to be what Cady had really sent, but also sent a decoy to make him think he'd won something. 'Very funny Cady. I'll play along.' He grabbed his phone from his dresser and checked the time. Seven o' clock. So he had until ten. Jason set about throwing some items into a backpack he used in high school. He had planned on using it in college, but a random set of events put him on the staff of a software company as a coder, so he decided to drop out of college for the rather decent paying job. He was only nineteen after all, he had room to take risks in his life. Jason threw a couple shirts and pants in the main pocket and his phone in the side with his charger. After a few moments of thought, he threw his laptop in the second large pocket along with it's respective charger. 'Why not? It's fun to play along.' Thinking a bit more, he threw a pack of beef jerky in and some sodas. Jason looked at his work, quite satisfied with his 'travel pack'. Something seemed like it was missing though. Scanning his room, Jason's eyes lit up as they spotted his favorite toy. It was a small glove he modified with some wire, a battery, and rubber insulation. The glove provided a perfect amount of shock to the person unlucky enough to come into contact with it once the switch was thrown on the inside of the wrist. He assumed his sister was probably in town to surprise him and set him up to read the letter so she'd show up at the time it set. Thinking this, he put on the glove and laughed at the thought of his sister showing up and getting pranked back. Subconsciously, he put the letter in his pocket while admiring his work. Preparing had taken roughly thirty eight minutes, leaving him loads of time to goof off until his sister arrived. Jason turned the television on and flopped on his bed, waiting for the 'time of departure'.

Jason flipped through channels looking for something interesting. He stopped briefly on a brightly colored show about small horses. He chuckled, thinking of the cult following the show had among adults despite its intended audience. He wasn't one to talk though, considering how much anime he watched. He figured anime was a slightly different case, but generally agreed that anime was still just cartoons intended for kids, despite being watched by many adults. Jason went back to flipping through channels. He was unable to find anything though, so he decided he'd give the pony show a shot. 'Can't judge something without giving it a chance.'

After a couple episodes, Jason wasn't too convinced. The show was funny enough, but it just didn't catch his attention. 'Maybe I'll give it another chance later.' he thought. He glanced at his alarm clock. Nine fifty eight. Jason scrambled from his bed to get ready. He quickly combed his hair and donned his 'travel pack'. Jason glanced back at his alarm clock. Ten exactly. Maybe the thing was off a bit. His sister was usually very punc-

Pop!

Jason's vision blurred and his ears rang. Several moments passed before his senses cleared. He looked around in an attempt to identify the cause of the disorienting noise. Upon examination, Jason noticed something odd. He was standing on a grassy hill near a small village. He blinked a few times, trying to rationalize what just happened. Unable to do so, he merely mumbled hysterically.

"Holy... What the... I had to fall asleep while watching TV. I had to. There's no way..."

Jason stopped for a moment and looked at his hand. 'One way to find out.' Jason flipped the switch on the glove and grabbed his own arm... and immediately regretted doing so. He shouted obscenities and flailed his arm around in a vain attempt to relieve the pain. 'Nope, not asleep. Damn that hurt like a bitch.' He thought. He switched the glove off and removed it from his hand, storing it in a pocket in his backpack. 'New plan. Don't shock myself and find out where I am. Got it.' Jason re-examined his surroundings. He noted the village nearby and a forest quite a bit away. He gazed at the forest for a bit before his eyes snapped back to the village. It looked familiar. As if he'd seen it recently. As if it had been in a cartoon about horses. Jason laughed at the thought and was about to dismiss it when he saw a small cyan object dart out of the village and into the sky. After several little stunts, the object darted back into the village. Jason just stared in horror, recognizing the object. He wasn't exactly sure what was out to get him. First the sun and his sister interrupt his sleep, and now he was somehow standing outside a town called Ponyville in a land ruled by horses. Completely unsure as to what he should do, Jason simply fainted.

Twilight Sparkle flinched as she felt a huge magic signature flare up just outside the town. She rushed upstairs and looked out her bedroom window in the direction she'd felt the disturbance. Nothing was there as far as she could tell. Still wary of whatever had just happened, Twilight set out to find her friends so they could investigate the strange occurrence. Whatever it was, Twilight just knew it was going to be a big discovery.

Jason's eyes snapped open and darted around, checking to see if he was still on a hill in a show about pastel colored ponies. Yep, he still was. He pulled his phone out of his bag and turned on the screen. It was only ten thirty. He hadn't been passed out for long. Jason shrugged off his pack and laid on his back. 'Might as well try to be optimistic. I needed a vacation anyway.' He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. 'I need to catch up on that sleep Cady took from me.'

"Scootaloo, slow down! You're gonna make us crash!"

'Whatever I pissed off to make it never let me sleep, I apologize. Please let me sleep!' Jason brought his hands up to his ears and covered them. As soon as he did, he felt something connect with his right shin. Hard. Very hard. Jason bolted up and grabbed his shin, hoping it wasn't broken. Upon examination, he only discovered a slight bruise. Jason let loose a sigh of relief and examined what had hit him so hard. A scooter with a tiny wagon lay next to him. Jason looked confused for a moment before he remembered the voice talking about crashing. Assuming they flew off their little vehicle, Jason used his brilliant deductive skills to follow their would-be launch angle. 'Thanks physics teacher. Your class is more useful than I thought it would be.'  Following the angle he assumed they went (it wasn't hard to guess), his eyes landed on a writhing pile of color.

"Ah told you we were gonna crash" said the yellow portion of the pile as it untangled itself from the other colors.

"Oh whatever. You try driving a scooter at that speed and not crash once in a while." The orange one said, also untangling itself from the mass.

"You've already crashed three times today..." The white one muttered, merely standing up since the others were already untangled.

"What did we hit anyway?" the orange one continued.

The three small creatures turned and noticed a large creature next to their little vehicle. Their eyes suddenly became impossibly wide.

"Hi." Jason said with a small wave.

The two sides stared each other down for several moments, neither wanting to make the first move (even though Jason already had with the 'hi'). Jason shifted slightly and his leg bumped the scooter that had hit him earlier. He looked at it for a moment before standing up and grabbing his bag. He heard gasps, not sure whether they were of shock or fear. Jason turned and began walking towards the forest he'd seen earlier.

"Sorry bout being in your way. I hope you're not hurt." he called over his shoulder.

Jason kept walking, not sure if they'd heard him or even if they cared. From the looks on their faces they were probably already running back towards the town. He wasn't exactly sure why they seemed scared, but he assumed the fact that they were only about knee high to him would make him a little daunting. He was only 5' 11'' though. He wasn't exactly a giant, or at least he wasn't by the standards he was used to. Jason heard a small buzzing and the screech of wheels singaling their return to their scooter. Jason was still under the assumption they were going to run to town until the scooter wheeled past him and stopped in front of him, wagon in tow. The tiny ponies' eyes were still wide, but he saw awe in them rather than fear.

"Whoa! What are you?" the orange one asked, craning her neck to look at his face.

"Uh..." Jason started, slightly confused by their interest in him.

"He's obviously a Minotaur, like that one that made Fluttershy scary." the white one answered.

"Nuh uh, he doesn't have horns. Minotaurs are supposed to have horns." the yellow one pointed out.

"Well then what is he?" the white one retorted.

"I-" the orange one started.

"Ahem."

The three ponies turned towards the tall creature who sat down to be closer to their height. He looked at them for a couple moments before beginning.

"If you want to know what I am, why don't you just ask me?" he said, biting back a laugh when the orange one stamped her hoof.

"I did! Sweetie Belle interrupted me though!" the orange pony complained.

"No I didn't! I was answering your question!" the white one, apparently named Sweetie Belle, replied indignantly.

"But ah don't think you answered Scootaloo's question right. He doesn't have horns." the yellow one said, repeating her earlier statement.

"Exactly! Which is why-" Scootaloo started.

Jason coughed. The ponies turned to him again then blushed, realizing they'd pretty much repeated the exact argument from a few seconds ago.

"Uh, so what are you?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"I'm a Terminator." Jason replied, unable to resist the golden opportunity.

"So you eat wood?" the yellow one asked, a confused look on her face.

"What was your name again?" Jason asked, biting back a laugh.

"Ah'm Applebloom."

"Well, you definitely know about termites, but I'm not a termite. I'm a Terminator."

"Shoot Ah knew it sounded funny, but ah wasn't quite sure." Applebloom pouted.

The little pony's pout was so adorable, Jason was sure his heart was about to implode. 'I'm pretty sure I saw these three in the show, but they were only on screen for a few seconds. Why are they so adorable now?' Jason pondered.

"So Mr. Terminator, what are you doing here? Are you visiting Ponyville?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Call me Jason. Mr. Terminator was my father. But no, I was... just passing by." Jason said, trying not to laugh hysterically at being called Mr. Terminator.

"So... where are you from?" Scootaloo asked.

"The moon." Jason replied, somewhat regretting the stupid location he'd chosen.

"Whoa! Like Princess Luna?" Sweetie Belle squeaked, her eyes sparkling.

Jason blinked slowly several times, partially from the fact that something here was from the moon, partially due to the adorable overload of the pony's squeaky voice.

"Yes," he deadpanned, "Like the princess."

"That's so cool! Did you- Hey, it's mah sister and her friends! You gotta meet them!" Applebloom said excitedly, bouncing in the wagon.

Jason's head whipped towards the village to see six familiar ponies headed towards him. Jason panicked and did the first thing that came to mind. 'I gotta get the hell out of here.'

"Sorry, I'm late for... something." Jason said as he sprinted towards the forest.

He heard protests from the three little ponies but he dared not stop. It was entertaining meeting what he assumed were children (since they were smaller than the six that were currently headed towards him) but he'd rather not meet with the main characters of the show. With the exception of the yellow one, the personalities of the group were all the sort that usually bugged him. Overly pompous, headstrong, stubborn, hyperactive and overly smart. The last one only really annoyed him when the owner of the personality was snobby and braggy about being smart, but he didn't know whether she was or not. He'd only seen two episodes.

Jason reached the trees rather quickly, running being the only physical activity he excelled at. Right as he entered the tree line though, he heard a flapping sound to his left. Keeping his peripheral vision open so he wouldn't run into a tree, he turned his head. The obnoxious, headstrong blue pegasus was lazily floating a couple feet from his shoulder.

"'Sup," the pegasus grunted, "Mind stoppin' for a sec? My friend wants to talk with you."

Jason looked at her for a few seconds before putting his hand out and grabbing a tree. Using the tree as pivot point, Jason swung himself around the tree to quickly change his direction without sacrificing his speed. Jason looked over his shoulder, hoping to see the pegasus struggling to catch up. Unfortunately, the pegasus was gone.

"If that's your idea of an escape maneuver, you need a lot more practice."

Jason looked up and saw the pegasus keeping pace with him quite easily. Jason frowned at this. He hadn't exactly thought it would work so much as he hoped it would distract her for a moment so he could jump in a bush. Jason sighed. 'One last trick.' Jason veered lightly and ran straight towards the largest tree he saw. The tree got closer and closer. The pegasus looked at him, but shrugged. She probably assumed he would juke the tree randomly to try to confuse her. He hoped so at least. When the tree was right up on top of them, the pegasus veered and whipped around the tree lightning fast. No matter what direction he turned, she would see him. She waited few seconds. Jason didn't come out from behind the tree. She fluttered back to the other side of the tree, but he wasn't there either. She did a quick circle around the tree to make sure he wasn't just keeping it between them. He'd just disappeared. The pegasus frowned and looked around the tree one last time. She saw a bush at the base of the tree, but when she poked through it, all she saw was leaves. The pegasus huffed and crossed her hooves before floating up above the treeline and heading in the direction her friends probably were.

Jason watched all of this from a bough in the tree. He was glad she hadn't thought to look in the leaves at the top. Then again, most humans wouldn't have looked up. Not many people can scale a tree so quickly, and apparently ponies can't either. That or like people, ponies just don't look up. Jason waited several minutes before he dropped down from the tree, just to be safe. When he did, he noted he'd left a shoe print on the trunk where he'd used his momentum to get to the bottom branches of the tree. 'Good thing she didn't notice that either. Or maybe she doesn't know what a shoe print is. Either way, it saved me.' Jason scratched his chin when he thought the words 'saved me'. He wasn't exactly sure what would have happened to him if they'd caught him. Probably nothing now that he thought about it, he'd just ran out of instinct. Jason laughed, realizing how silly the whole situation was but then again, it was insanely silly that something simply whisked him away from his room and plopped him in a cartoon show. He wondered if he would appear in the show or if this was another universe entirely. 'I'd love to be on TV...'

Jason shook his head. He'd gone way off topic again. 'If I don't fix that habit, it'll probably come back to bite me...' Doing his best to retrace his steps, Jason began walking in the direction he'd come from. He didn't want to go meet with these ponies, but he definitely didn't want to be lost in a forest. Since he probably had a long way to walk, he began running himself through information he had from the show. Jason hummed to himself as he walked. 'This is some crazy crap that's going on. Like some bad fanfiction... But I'll be damned if I'm not gonna have fun with this... situation.'

"Applebloom! What were you three doing with that... thing?!" Applejack said, galloping up to the trio as the creature made for the Everfree Forest.

"I'll go get it." Rainbow Dash said, taking off towards the retreating creature.

"Sweetie Belle! What have I told you about talking with strange creatures?! You could get hurt!" Rarity fawned, wrapping her little sister in a hug.

"But Jason's not a strange creature, he seemed nice!" Sweetie Belle squeaked as she wriggled in her sister's iron grip.

"Jason? What's a Jason?" Applejack asked suspiciously.

"The name of that thing Rainbow Dash just went after." Scootaloo announced, "He talked with us for a bit. but when you all started heading this way he ran."

"It talked?!" Twilight perked up, eager at the discovery.

"Well yea. Don't all Terminators talk?" Applebloom asked.

The five older mares stared at the filly. Even Pinkie Pie seemed confused by her strange words.

"A what now?" Twilight asked.

"A Terminator. Jason said he was a Terminator." Applebloom explained.

"I've never heard of a Terminator before." Fluttershy said, a curious tone in her voice.

"Neither have I." Twilight said, "Are you sure you heard it right? It looked like a Minotaur."

"No, he specifically said he wasn't a Minotaur. We asked that first." Sweetie Belle announced.

"And he said he was from the moon!" Scootaloo added.

The older mares looked at each other. Twilight looked towards the Everfree Forest where Rainbow Dash had chased the creature. Whatever it was, she'd just have to question it herself when Rainbow came back with it.