Doctor Whooves and the Mind of Majesty
Doctor Whooves and the Mind of Majesty
by Paleo Prints
“Well, Miss Dismerelda Doo, which way? Backwards or forwards in time?”
Ditzy giggled as she entered the sparsely-lit control room of the Doctor’s time travel machine. Other stallions would have rushed to welcome an attractive young mare, but not him. Perched atop a platform of scaffolding, he grinned like a carnival barker. Both a master of and slave to showponyship, he reared on his hind legs, throwing his trench coat-clad forelimbs around in a joyous spin. The effect lasted until he collided with a light pole. With all the balance of a sloth with an ear infection, the brown not-quite-earth-pony fell off of the control platform of his marvelous time-and-space machine onto the floor below.
“Doctor,” she said with a snort, wings unfurling in amusement as she leaned over a railing. “Are you sure you’re up to time travel today? You don’t seem to be doing too well moving in three dimensions.”
A pile of overcoat and grumbles gradually pulled itself into view. As he dragged himself to his hooves, the Doctor fumbled a hoof around in the herd of pockets he bore until he found what resembled for all the world a beepy, glowing pen.
Here it comes, Ditzy thought. Classic Doctor-level excuse coming my way.
She leaned backed onto the gigantic control-covered metal octagon that dominated the bronze heart of the space-time machine. The rare quiet moments travelling inside the TARDIS (meaning Time and Relative Dimension in Space, as he loved to recite) were precious, even compared to the adventures that usually lurked outside. At times like this, the strange pony she had met in the Everfree all those years ago seemed more like a normal gawky stallion, and much less like an alien traveler.
“Shapeshifter,” he suddenly announced, stowing away his miraculous multi-tool. “That’s what the sonic screwdriver reveals.” He gave the metal bulkhead a curious tap and nodded. “Completely harmless, I assure you. Just a new, harmless, uncommunicative shapeshifter who looks like a light pole that was never there before.” The Doctor pointedly avoided Ditzy’s gaze as he scratched the back of his mane. “No wonder I tripped, really.”
Ditzy’s light laughter echoed around the control room as she tapped the “alien.”
“Doctor, it’s a light pole.”
He snorted. “No, it’s a peaceful alien. Look, I think he’s a bit shy, so let’s never mention it again.” He turned away whistling as he start to adjust the control panel. Soon he could feel two amused golden eyes staring at different places on the back of his head.
“Yes?” he asked with feigned innocence, eyebrows raised.
An accusing wing tapped him on the forehead.
“Doctor,” Ditzy said in the voice of a child who suddenly learned who really brings presents on Hearth’s Warming Eve. “One, I don’t think sonic energy reveals shyness. Two, that really is a light pole. We’ve carved my height into it since I was a filly.” She stepped back and folded her wings after clearing her voice.
“Are you, um, feeling okay?” As she looked away, one of her wings flared up and quickly brushed across her mane, setting it in what she hoped was at least a little attractive. “I always heard pilots were precise. If you’re not up to flying the TARDIS, we could just have a picnic.”
Ditzy’s hopes for a romantic afternoon were dashed on the rocks of the Doctor’s pride as his eyes narrow.
“Precise?” He spun away from her, grabbing with both hooves a console machine that Ditzy had always pretended wasn’t a bicycle pump. “Precise?”
Suddenly, the lights of the TARDIS control room came to life as walked away from her, flipping switches and pumping buttons wildly. The center of the impossible machine was either a masterwork of machinery or the remains of several junk shops that collided, and the Doctor now sent the whole complicated mess into noisy activity. “I’ll show you precise. Backwards or forwards, miss know-it-all-teenager?”
Ditzy sighed. Despite comprehending all vocal communication, he was less adept at understanding girls than any boy in her class.
“Well,” she said after mourning the passing of the potential picnic, “I do have a history paper due next week.”
The Doctor froze as flashing alarms and readouts illuminated his face. His eyes raised to meet Ditzy’s as best as he could, and a silent smile grew on his face. With the flair of a magician, he thrust out a single forelimb over the control panel.
“Silly boy,” Ditzy said as she hovered into the air, crossing her forelimbs. “If you’re going to do something, do it.” She blew a raspberry at him and giggled. “Dare you!”
The Doctor’s smile extended to equatorial proportions.
“I dare.”
He gently tapped a button, silencing every noise in the TARDIS except for a cheerful bell. A pleasant green light shone from a bulb over the door.
Ditzy nodded. “Are we where you wanted us?”
“Precisely.”
“And that would be?” Ditzy asked as she hovered towards the door.
The Doctor galloped off of the platform, landing with a flourish at the door. Twirling once, he stretched out his tail toward Ditzy as he sang in a surprising deep baritone. “Let’s start at the very beginning!”
Blushing, Ditzy alighted onto the ground and entwined her tail in his As she felt his hair tighten around hers, she nearly swooned. Keep it calm, Ditz. She swallowed. “A very good place to start,” she intoned with a smile as they exited the TARDIS.
___
Long Ago, in the magical land before Equestria...
The first thing that struck Ditzy Doo was the brightness.
Brightness didn't run in Ditzy’s blood. She was only two generations away from a long line of Trottingham ponies, who reveled in drab brown, sooty brick, and fog. Her ancestors may have politely disapproved, but Ditzy was a Ponyville girl, raised among pinks, creams, and yellows. Her home was synonymous with color and joy.
Stepping out of the door’s of the TARDIS (cleverly disguised as a blue booth marked “PONY BOX”), Ditzy was surprised at the stark brightness of the colors. On one hoof (or hand, or grasper, or what have you), it was just a hill with a stream. On the other hoof (or... whatever), that description was woefully inadequate in describing the vividness of the area. The stream glittered like a tide of sapphires, gently caressing the corner of a hill greener than all her time’s forests put together. Above them, clouds so white that Ditzy’s eyes hurt from the glare rolled across the sky.
“Celestia,” she said, taking it all in.
“Nope,” came his voice beside her. “Not yet. Not for a while.”
She turned to the Doctor to see him staring at her. Not just turning to look at her, but standing to face her with an appreciative smile. Out of all the things he could possibly look at, Ditzy knew that the Doctor only had eyes for her reaction to paradise. She blushed again.
“Wh... where are we this time?”
He learned down carefully, sniffing the grass with obvious relish. His eyes closed in rapture, then opened with a daring look on his face. “Taste it.”
“What?” She blinked. “Grass? You’re a cheap date, Doctor.”
“Ditzy,” he said slowly. “Taste the grass.”
Shrugging, Ditzy leaned down to nibble, and allowed the Doctor to talk as stalks of perfection exploded inside her mouth.
He cleared his throat theatrically, and when he started his recitation it was with the slight air of one retrieving something placed long ago in the loving cupboards of memory.
“In between the Abdication of Queen Megan of the Far Realms and the rise of the the Rule of Discord then was an age undreamed.”
“Show off,” Ditzy muttered in ecstasy.
“Shh, I’m being dramatic.”
“You’re always being dramatic.”
He raised his eyebrows before continuing, then swept a forelimb out at the surrounding fields. “Hither came Dream Valley, destined to cradle the pony race against monsters and wizards. Let me tell you of the days of high adventure! First, we’ll-- ”
“Castle!”
The Doctor blinked as Ditzy flew over him. He spun to stare after her and both of his hearts nearly leapt out of his chest as he remembered. The Doctor started to sweat.
Ditzy swooped down the high towards a shining castle of pink pearl, topped with blue coronets whose tips bore shimmering sapphire flowers. Surrounding the castle was a moat of bubbling green foam, spanned by a golden drawbridge. Lingering close to the entrance were a herd of ponies, and the Doctor could already hear Ditzy calling out to them.
As she alighted new a group of startled ponies, the Doctor stared at the five towers of the castle. “Oh, no.” He bit his lip. “Five towers and five... ” His eyes went wide, and the Doctor, whose name was a story told to frighten the children of warlike races, began to shake ever so slightly.
“Five flowers. Doctor, you stupid, proud idiot. Ditzy!”
Throwing himself into a run, the Doctor nearly flew down the hill.
At the castle, Ditzy smiled at the surprised ponies. A small group had been gathered around a blanket, busily engaged in a tea party. They now turned to Ditzy with a blank-eyed stare, and she was too excited to notice that one of them was shivering.
Uncontrollably, Ditzy’s mouth started to water at the sumptuous bounty spread over the blanket on flowery plates.
“Hi,” she nearly shouted as she nearly pounced the nearest pony. “I’m Ditzy Doo and I’m from a far bit away and I’d love to learn about your history and culture and muffins?”
In front of her, a yellow pony ran a shaking hoof through her blue main. “Hi?” She scooted away from Ditzy as the rest of the tea party quietly watched. “I’m Tootsie. W-w-what are you doing here?”
Ditzy nodded, staring at a picnic basket. Her wing flared out, snaring a muffin in her primaries and carefully delivering it to her mouth for a bite. At the buttery taste her eyes rolled in an opposite direction than normal.
“Wow.” She panted. “Perfect. So, what’s this place?”
A white unicorn with a blue-and-red mane sniffed. “You can’t just steal our muffins! That’s our property!”
Ditzy shrugged as two of the silent ponies quickly trotted away. “Heh. Guess I forgot myself. Sorry. So, what-- ”
“Ditzy!” The Doctor galloped beside her, causing all the native ponies to back away. “We need to go now!”
She sighed. “Aw. But, It’s a pony castle, Doctor! Safe as houses, I bet.” She walked toward the moat, attention drawn by a new flurry of soap bubbles rising out of it, “Does it have a queen, like Celestia?”
“No, Ditzy,” he said as he shook his head. “In no way like Celestia.” The Doctor tugged at her tail with his teeth, then released as she squeaked in surprise. “We need to go now. Not ever now. We need to go then!”
Inside Ditzy Doo’s mind, a jumble of thoughts buzzed inside her head. In the subconscious part of her brain alone she was simultaneously remembering her cute-ceañera at her Auntie Daring’s mansion, formulating plans for a new peppermint plasma generator, and writing a song using all the prime numbers backwards from 2281. All of that screeched to a halt as a single idea took priority inside Ditzy’s head.
The Doctor is scared.
“O-okay, Doctor.” Ditzy said with a solemn nod. “We’ll go. Explanations later.”
For a moment, centuries of the Doctor’s frustration at travelling companions who never listened melted away. This one is special, he thought for the first time in about a half hour. Keep her safe. Keep her near. He allowed himself a smile. “Okay, just back away from the... ”
Then he saw the soap bubbles.
Behind Ditzy, a cloud of the greenish bubbles rose out of the moat. They rose over her, combining into a smaller cloud of larger bubbles. Ditzy turned, fear rising in her eyes. Whatever she was about to say was lost as the bubbles dropped onto her with uncanny speed. Suddenly, Ditzy was trapped inside a single, pony-sized bubble, beating her hooves against the soapy film in terror.
The Doctor felt the world’s sanity fall out from under him as he heard the nearby ponies start to cheer. Biting down hard inside his trenchcoat’s breast pocket, he whipped out the sonic screwdriver. It flashed with blue light, illuminating the hovering prison.
It had no effect on the bubble. It had a much greater affect on the ponies.
One pink pegasus threw a hoof across her eyes and fainted dead. The indignant white unicorn hoarsely said, “Is that... a wand?
“It is!” The white one screamed in terror. “He’s a wizard! Run!”
Irritation crept into the only parts of the Doctor’s mind that fear wasn't already partying in. “It’s not magic,” he said out of the corner of his mouth, focused on pointing the glowing tool at the bubble and adjusting it mentally. “It’s just... sufficiently advanced, even if you’re not.”
Panic ran down the Doctor’s spine No expected warning to be polite to the natives came from Ditzy, silently screaming as she hammered the bubble’s side. He knew then that she couldn't even hear him.
“That’s not fair!” He stowed his tool in his jacket a pushed a hoof into the film of Ditzy’s cage. It was surprisingly yielding, and as Ditzy touched his hoof on the other side he could feel her warmth. “No soap bubble should be able to ignore sympathetic resonance like that!”
“The bubble is impenetrable, good sir.”
The Doctor turned slowly, always wanting to be a bit scary when first meeting the ones who know why bad things happened. When the pony in question met his full on glare without flinching, he remembered just who lived in that castle.
She was a classical white-coated beauty, with a red mane that would leave stallions swooning. The truly striking thing to him was the way she carried herself. Not a single muscle was wasted on emotional language, whether seductive or threatening. She held her head high, intelligent eyes calmly anticipating danger with grace and resignation.
His mind briefly jumped to a city of astronomy-scholars he visited on a far off world, recording and transmitting data on their sun even as it burned itself to imminent death. “Think about it too much and you’ll go crazy,” one had said hours before the final death flare.
The Doctor sighed he scratched his neck. “I have an array of impressive titles I could throw at you, but I kind of think you spend your life scared enough already.”
She inclined her head, a polite smile forming as he approached her nonchalantly. He flashed a single look to Ditzy as he passed the bubble, a look which made her stop struggling and straighten to attention.
“So,” he said as he sat down in front of the unicorn. “Miss... ”
“Moondancer,” she said with a clear voice that would make electricity jump up a stallion’s spine.
He nodded, feeling the ropes of fate wrapping around him. “My Lady Moondancer, why is the bubble impenetrable?”
She cocked her head at him, giving him the look she’d give someone who asked where the sun went to half the time. “Because it is her will,” she said.
He sighed in resignation as the bubble floated into the keep, jumping to his hooves to keep pace with it. As the portcullis slammed into the stone floor behind them, he thought he heard an iron note of finality in the tone of its ring.
___
You know trouble is brewing when the castle staff whisper as you pass by. You know things are worse when they don’t.
As he accompanied Moondancer through the halls of the castle, silence ruled. Her eyes would occasionally flicker to him, questions dying on her lips. He only stared straight ahead, mind racing as he watched the levitating prison that held a girl who, even now, waved to him with a brave smile as she was pulled to her fate.
The bubble turned a corner, leading them into a sparkling throne room. In front of a blue throne carved of a single gemstone sat an ornate stand, hold a shimmering ball of glass wherein clouds whirled about. Moondancer took her place there, patiently waiting. The bubble floated toward the throne, reaching halfway to it before bursting and depositing Ditzy on the long red carpet.
When she lifted her head, the Doctor saw she was crying.
“I just don’t... ” She sniffled, staring towards the exit. “I screwed up, didn’t I? This is bad, I bet.”
“No,” he said while gently running his hoof through her mane. “This is worse.” He leaned so close to her face that her heart momentarily leapt in anticipation. “But I’m here,” he said finally. “Don’t worry. And, as out of character as this is, don’t run. You’ll just irritate her.”
Ditzy swallowed. She turned to the room’s decorations in hopes of a distraction. Among the friezes and statues were mythological creatures both fantastic and terrifying. Among the statues, Ditzy kept noticing sculptures of some kind of terrified hairless clothed ape. Most of them had their arms lifted, frozen in the act of covering their faces while screaming.
“D-Doctor?,” she stammered out as she pointed a hoof at the nearest one. “What are those things?”
“Oh?” His mouth drew into a tight line as he followed her gesture. “Oh. Them. Ponyland sits inside what were some very active dimensional nexuses, Ditzy. Those were one of the many races who migrated here from far away. They lived mostly peaceably, except for their wizards.” Stepping up to a statue of a crouching woman, the Doctor ran his hoof down the cheek of her terrified face. “There’s none left now.”
Ditzy saw the Doctor’s eyes glaze over, staring off into far away regrets. He’s not just lecturing, she thought with a shudder. He’s remembering.
Despite her every instinct and concern for the Doctor, out of Ditzy’s mouth ripped the question, “What happened?”
There are voices in the universe that inspire terror at their sound. Some are mechanical, and call for extermination or assimilation. Many are boisterous, and announce their impending victory. A few are disjointed, relating the broken mental state of those speaking.
By far the scariest voices in the multiverse were the most pleasant. The one that spoke now used the same inflection whether organizing a tea party or ordering an execution. It said, simply, “I did.”
Ditzy swore the Doctor was shaking.
Beauty and grace walked into the throne room in the shape of an ageless pearl unicorn mare. Passing the pair without a glance, she ascended onto the throne’s cushion are stared at them indifferently.
“I am Majesty,” she said. It was more than a name; it was a claim.
Dozens of ponies filtered into Ditzy’s vision, creeping up on her periphery. They were prostrate, and they were silent.
“Sheesh,” Ditzy said while blowing her bangs out of her eyes. “Who does she think she is?”
If it were possible to imagine, the room became more silent. Majesty smiled pleasantly at Ditzy, the way a content biology professor might view the next day’s frogs.
“She thinks she is,” the Doctor said with gravity, “exactly who she is. Think about why there’s no guards.” He took a step forward, head held high. “Why don’t you show her, Your Highness? Give us a pleasant demonstration, if you would.”
Crossing her forelimbs with a restrained giggle, Majesty nodded. “Already making demands, are we?” She looked into one of Ditzy’s eyes as nodded. “I wish... we had a muffin.”
A flash of blue light sprung into being in front of the travelers, and a cushioned stool with a muffin appeared. Ditzy’s mouth dropped.
“How does she... ”
Majesty quietly watched the Doctor’s face.
“Magic,” he said with a touch of embarrassment, shuffling on his feet.
Muffin in hoof, Ditzy stopped right before her teeth sunk in. “Really?” She raised an amused eyebrow. “Are you actually admitting it’s magic?
“Fine,” she nearly snapped, “it’s a conscious manipulation of quarks on the level of the quantum soup with a yet unknown means of transferring and transmuting energy. There, does that sound any better?”
As Ditzy shrugged, Majesty said firmly “I wish the muffin was on fire.”
A scream rang out as something bright was tossed across the stone floor.
“T-t-that...,” Ditzy snarled, holding her hoof to her chest, “was uncalled for, you-- ”
“Ditzy!”
“Well, she-- ” Turning to the Doctor, Ditzy saw sweat running down his face.
“Remember, girl,” he whispered. “She can wish that you were a muffin. Do you think we’re really surrounded by statues?”
Silence reigned for a second while Ditzy stared at the terrified, crouching stone figure nearby.
“So,” Majesty began conversationally. “We have a thief and a wizard on our hooves, Lady Moondancer?”
Moondancer nodded. “A wand was observed being used, Your Highness.”
“Thief? Hey, I’ll bake you more muffins!” Ditzy bit her lip for a second. “I mean, not like you need it. Technically, your powers make this a post-scarcity society, and-- ”
“I wish you would be quiet a moment, little girl.”
Hate flared in Ditzy’s eyes as the Doctor stepped forward, a hoof raised in a calming gesture.
“Your... Majesty, this wizard thing is grossly overrated.” Slowly and carefully, he produced his sonic screwdriver from his coat and lifted it up for the crowd to see. The ponies of Dream Valley flinched at the sight of it, many turning away. “It’s just advanced technology, a simple tool with control over sound waves. In no way am I a wizard.”
“Really.” Majesty raised an eyebrow and gestured towards the back of the room. Two purple dragons, heads lowered from the weight of their golden collars and chains, pulling a familiar blue booth into the courtroom.“Does this device not mark you as the Wizard of the Travelling Box?”
As the crowd murmured around him, the Doctor blew a breath out. “Oh, how I hate that nickname.”
Majesty rose to her hooves, languidly walking towards the box. “We dislike wizards here. Across the world, they all seem to have some sort of use for pony slaves. We have done our fair part to keep our land free of the foul things. Any wizard who intends to kidnap ponies is eternally and usually briefly our adversary.” Moving an admiring hoof down the front door of the TARDIS, she snorted. “Such as you did with Minty... Doctor.”
A rash of fearful whispers ran through the crowd as hateful eyes lifted to stare at the Doctor and Ditzy.
Here we go again, Ditzy thought. “So, she knows you, Doctor?” She paused before giving a sour look his way. “Tell me she’s not an old girlfriend.”
He answered with a snort. “I’ve got a better chance with Celestia herself. Shush, Ditzy. I’m trying to figure out why no one else recognizes me here.”
“Oh.” She considered for a moment. “Tell me Celestia’s not an old girlfriend.”
“Shush, Ditzy!”
“And this Minty, is she... ”
Majesty tapped a hoof on the stonework, and Ditzy felt ashamed in joining the court in silence. “I’m speaking to the Doctor, little pegasus. I wish you would suddenly feel as if you’ve forgotten something important, and forget I said this.”
Ditzy stared at the ground in irritation. The Doctor stepped between the two mares and sneered at Majesty.
“Don’t you dare.” He stepped forward until their faces nearly touched. “Don’t you touch her brain.”
Majesty narrowed her eyes, now flaring with blue light. “Where did you take Minty to, all those years ago? Where is my pony now?”
The court held their breaths as the Doctor considered his next words.
“Dead,” he said simply. “Long ago and far away, in a place of her own choosing. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
Majesty’s subjects backed away from the Doctor as the air around Majesty became very still. Sapphire flames leapt around her hooves, scorching the carpet away. “The ponies of Dream Valley should not be taken away from here. I protect my ponies, Doctor.” Her eyes were pupilless flames.
“Of course,” the Doctor said with a snort. “Look what happened to Galaxy, after all.”
“That name,” Majesty whispered, “is not to be spoke in my presence.”
Pushing her anxiety aside, Ditzy tried to focus on the conversation. “Doctor? What happened to...’her’?”
“Don’t,” Majesty commanded.
Scanning the eyes of the crowd, the Doctor saw curiosity mixed with fear. “She went travelling, Ditzy. She found...”
“I wish you would hurt, Doctor.”
Ditzy screamed as the Doctor fell to the floor, convulsing. Sweat poured out of his coat as he twitched. One of the audience fainted as the Doctor’s limbs twisted not entirely naturally. Suddenly, with a crack, he raised himself up on shaky hooves.
“Poor Galaxy. Galaxy, who was the first in ages to leave. Remember her, Majesty? What did-- ”
“I wish the pain was worse, Doctor.”
He screamed, rolling onto his back. Ditzy launched herself at Majesty, only stopping when the Doctor pushed himself up and dragged her to the floor.
“No,” he said with effort.
Ditzy grit her teeth, wings flaring as she pawed for the ground. “I’ll kill her. I’ll just need a few seconds.”
His limbs twitched into spasms as he clutched Ditzy’s head, weakly pulling their faces together as they clung together on the floor.
“No. She’ll... kill you. She’ll just need... four words.”
As Ditzy stopped struggling, Majesty clicked her tongue. “Be silent, Doctor.” Damnation peered out behind her eyes. “Be silent or I will quite simply break her. If you utter one more mocking, sardonic word or dare,” Majesty said as her voice raised to a scream, “to speak her name aloud I will break your companion in the longest, loudest way possible until her mind is scattered fragments that float on a river of pain. And when I do break her, Doctor,” Majesty’s said as her voice dropped to a whisper, “I will shut off her senses so that she lives with only her madness as comfort.”
“This is a plan, right?” Ditzy whispered into the Doctor’s ear. “You have an idea to turn this around the moment she lets her guard down, right?”
Despite the wracking pain coursing through his body, it hurt worse to see Ditzy turn away tearfully after he whispered, “No.” As Ditzy stepped away the Doctor rolled onto his hooves, his shaking legs pulling him of the floor. “Okay.” He spit onto the floor. “You win this one.”
He expected maniacal laughter. Over the course of his life, he had collected a mental catalog of the deadly and demented and what their laughter sounds like. Infuriatingly, Majesty spared him a slight nod and walked past. As she seated herself upon the throne, she breathed in with a smile.
“Lady Moondancer, take down the following,” she said, and Moondancer responded with a nod, a quill in her mouth already hovering over a scroll.
Yeah, I expect anticipating her desires is worth more than just job insurance around here, thought the Doctor.
“I pronounce judgement upon The Travelling Wizard. As the Cloud Giant, the Shell Sorcerer, the Weather Witch and the Troll King learned their lesson, so shall he. Take him to the Holding Cells of Happiness, so that I may meditate upon the punishment that may most strike fear in the hearts of his monstrous confederates.”
Putting down her quill, Moondancer nodded. “So it is written, my Lady Majesty. So it shall be done.”
As the two dragons advanced on the shaking Doctor, Ditzy leapt into the air in front of them, snarling. They look at each other sheepishly.
“Please, Miss,” a spiked-scale beast the size of two carts said quietly. “I’ll carry him gently, I promise.”
Lowering to the floor, Ditzy nodded. Around her, the ponies of Dream Valley resumed their bowing. The back of her neck was almost literally burning from Majesty’s stare. Grinding her teeth, Ditzy quietly followed the dragons out of the throne room with as much dignity as she could muster, not giving Majesty the satisfaction of a look behind.
___
She had to admit, it was a nice prison.
Ditzy Doo had been travelling with the Doctor on-and-off since shortly after getting her cutie mark, and in that time she assumed she had seen every type of dungeon. From jail cells carved into comets to the oozing dungeons of the early Changeling Empire, she thought she had seen it all. If she had to make a list now, however, Dream Castle’s dungeon would be at the top of the recommended list.
The dragons had, quite politely, accompanied her to what appeared to be a tea party, if she neglected the candy cane bars that bisected the room. Pink and purple cushioned furniture dotted the area, sharing space with pastry carts and tea cabinets.
If there wasn’t a heaving Doctor sprawled on a cushion, it would have been romantic.
“It’s okay,” she whispered as she massaged her hoof into his temple. “We’re going to get out of here soon.” Softly and cautiously, she kissed his forehead, feeling her heart speed up as she waited for him as he always did to wave her off before her lips connected.
“S’okay,” he said as she kissed him, worrying her more than he knew. He pulled himself onto the table. “I think the gone has pained away,” he said with a grin before his head slammed down into a plate of custard.
“Doctor!”
Spitting out cream, he jumped to his feet. “There. The gone has... um... ” He scratched the back of his neck as Ditzy giggled. “I mean, it’s gone. I’m lucky she didn’t wish for me to hurt forever.”
Ditzy sunk into an ample cushion, her own fatigue setting in now that she had a moment to think. “You know, we learned about Majesty in school.” She stuck her tongue out of her mouth a bit as she thought; the Doctor had never admitted how adorable he found the gesture. “They never told us she was such a big plothole.”
Nodding, the Doctor flung a hoof towards the bars. “Thank her,” he said with steel in his voice.
Standing in the doorway on the other side of the bars, Lady Moondancer sighed. “I’ve come to interview you both, so that Majesty may best pass judgement.” She walked to the center table, bisected by the bars.
“Her official historian, then?” He snorted. “As I always say, Ditzy, history is written by the victors.”
“Yes, I record the victories of Our Most Wondrous Majesty,” Moondancer replied as she carefully lifted the tea pot and poured herself a cup.
“Ah.” The Doctor grinned. “You’re the official chronicler of Majesty’s horrors.”
She raised an eyebrow. “I wouldn’t say such things, sir.”
“You didn’t say you didn’t believe them, ma’am.” The Doctor sipped his tea as Moondancer shuffled in her seat.
Ditzy had spent the conversation staring at Moondancer, and the unicorn was starting to peer back at her.
“Is there an issue, Miss?”
Walking over to the table, Ditzy snagged a muffin with her wingtips as she looked at Moondancer. “Why don’t you pour your tea with your horn?”
Moondancer blinked, mouth open as if she’d been ask to repaint the stars. “That seems... inadvisable. I’d have no idea how to balance the cup on it.” She stared into the tea. “I bet Sunbeam could do it. She has excellent posture.”
Ditzy blinked, then pulled her chair closer to the Doctor. “So... why can’t the unicorns levitate with their horns yet?”
“Shh!” The Doctor raised his hoof to his mouth. “Future! Spoilers! Telekinesis, cloud-managing, earth pony strength, none of it yet.”
“Hmm,” DItzy said. “No wonder they’re scaredy-ninnies.”
“Well,” the Doctor said with a laugh, turning back to Moondancer. “Lovely, isn’t it? Only ponies would design a jail cell so that the prisoners and staff can sit at the same tea table.”
Rummaging through her saddlebags for writing equipment, Moondancer stared at him quizzically. “You appear to be a pony. If that is incorrect, what are you?”
He snorted as he grabbed for a teacup. “Lady, the ‘ponies’ from where I come from would turn your sun nova if they knew all that Majesty could do.” He casually sipped his cup. “We’re all lucky she doesn’t quite know either.”
“I don’t follow,” Moondancer said, crossing her forelimbs. “What can my Queen do that I should fear?”
“Aside from everything?” Ditzy chirped up, eyes spinning faster. “Well, what if she wished ponies were different? Like, maybe they thought different. Maybe they didn’t think about things she didn’t want them to think about.”
Moondancer calmly poured herself another cup. “I’ll more gladly kill everyone in the room, myself included, than have you suggest that to her.”
“Ah-ha!” The Doctor sprang to his feet, grinning. “That’s the pony spirit I know! Brilliant act, then! Glorious! Calm and collected, the rebel behind the throne. I have just one question, Moondancer.” He walked around the table, staring straight into her eyes as he rested his hooves on the bars. “If you did that, could she bring you back?”
She choked on her tea, nearly dropping the cup. Reaching a shaking hoof towards the napkins, Moondancer whispered, “I believe she’s still too scared to try.”
“Still?” Ditzy squinted. “You think she’s going to try one day?”
The silence hung in the air, suspended as the three ponies looked from one to another.
“Tell me about death, Doctor,” Moondancer said. “Before I trust you, tell me about Minty.”
He sighed, and Ditzy searched his face with her eyes. “It... ” He drew a long breath. “It was a long time ago for me, and I was a different stallion. We Time Chargers reinvent ourselves every so often.” He giggled. “Really, really a different stallion... ”
___
Even longer ago, in the magical kingdom of Dream Valley...
Two furry lumps in armor waddled across the side of the hill, casting nervous glances around them. An observer wouldn’t be wrong in comparing them to gumdrops, or perhaps hairballs, or quite possibly some squat mix of both. They would have been both relieved and worried to know that there was an observer about.
“Um,” stammered the first. “You think they’re really out here?”
The second one shrugged. “I dunno. Let’s check the Cocoa Lake. If they get away, Majesty’s going to be awfully mad.”
As the two disappeared into the distance, the observer grinned. She peered over the hilltop, a lithe and athletic mare with a light green coat. She lay close to the ground, one hoof hovering over a bandoleer full of peppermint knives.
“Shall I kill them Doctor?” She ran a hoof across her white-and-pink mane to keep her vision clear. “They stalk like drunk ogres!”
“What? No, leave the poor bushwoolies alone,” said the strange stallion at her side, waving a hoof for emphasis. “I don’t quite see how killing helps anyone. That’s rather a policy of mine.”The odd pony that sat on the hill that day was a far cry from the Doctor that Lady Moondancer would one day have jail-time tea with. His coat was a close color to the one that Ditzy knew, but the similarities ended there. His teeth were much larger, and the spiky mane of his later years was then a curly mass crowned by a floppy brown hat. Impossibly, he had eluded the castle guards while wearing a rainbow scarf, the ridiculously long fabric wound around his neck several times and still nearly dragging along the ground. “If I changed that one, I’d rather have to stop calling myself the Doctor.”
She rolled her eyes. “You speak in riddles, strange one. Very well. Where is this ‘magic box’ of yours?”
He crawled across the hilltop in the way un-athletic ponies do when they think they look athletic, pointing to a copse of trees. “There it is, the cute blue one.” He turned to her with a sparkling grin. “Thanks for sneaking me out. Care to come with? I do believe I’ve got a position open for a semi-homicidal candy maker.”
Minty looked him over slowly. “Do you really tell the truth, Doctor? Can one live away from Dream Castle?”
“My dear Minty,” he said with a toothy smile, doffing his hat. “There are worlds out there where the sky is burning, and the sea's asleep, and the rivers dream; ponies made of smoke and cities made of song. Somewhere there's danger, somewhere there's injustice, somewhere else the tea's getting cold. Come on, girl. Let’s go!”
As he ran across the field toward the blue box, Minty smiled. She had decided to chase after the Doctor.
___
Moondancer looked at the Doctor thoughtfully. “So, she died following you.”
He snorted. “It’s hard to imagine anything that could kill Minty if she didn’t want it to. She died many years later, surrounded by awards, grandchildren, and the glow of past glories. She died the best way possible, Moondancer. She died by living.”
As he looked down and smiled into his tea, Ditzy’s stare was inscrutable.
“Tell us, Moondancer,” he suddenly said. “Tell her what happened to Galaxy.”
“She deserted the kingdom and died in the wastes,” she quickly responded.
“Is that the official story?” Both mares sprang backwards as he pitched he teacup across the room. “Is that how the victors have written the history? How did she die?”
Ditzy scooted her chair backwards at the Doctor’s violent outburst. Moondancer didn’t flinch. She had seen much worse.
“The records do not say anything as to her death.” Moondancer shrugged. “Majesty saw it in her scrying glass, and said it was unwholesome to speak of.”
The Doctor’s baleful glare bore into Moondancer. “That’s convenient of Majesty to say, since Galaxy came back.”
“She would not lie!” Moondancer stood up, staring at the Doctor in disbelief. “She wouldn’t need to. The other kingdoms drink the lives of ponies. Only in Dream Valley are we safe. Majesty sees to that.”
“Moondancer,” Ditzy said with a snort, "you guys are the most terrified group of ‘safe’ ponies I’ve ever seen.”
The Doctor giggled. “Good one, Ditz’. My Lady, I think I can convince you to let us go.”
“How?” Her eyes were wide with fear.
He placed his hooves onto the table and leaned forward. “I’m going to tell you what happened that day I left with Minty so long ago. I’m going to tell you why Minty left when Galaxy came home. You should know,” he said with a guilty smile. “You were there.”
___
Majesty giggled as she walked down the hallway, two of her subjects in tow. “Did Peaches really say that about Blossom’s mane?”
“Absolutely,” replied the turquoise pegasus, who snickered as her green friend nearly fell apart laughing. “Could you believe it?”
Majesty snorted as the archway to the holding cells came into view. “Fascinating. I might just have to speak to her about politeness. Medley, Seashell, you know how I love gossiping, but there’s some royal court business I must attend to. Be dears and see me later today?”
The two ponies at her side curtseyed as she left. Once Majesty disappeared into the far room, the pegasus’ knees bent as she nearly fell over.
“I-I-I... ,” she stammered, tears welling in her eyes. “I can’t... ”
“Shh,” Seashell whispered into her ear. “She might hear you.” Seashell carefully pulled Medley into an unoccupied castle bedroom.
“B-b-b-but what if she does something to Peaches?” Medley said as she leaned into Seashell’s embrace.
“Shh,” whispered Seashell, nuzzling Medley’s cheek. “She’s just down the hallway. Just hold me and cry. Let it out.”
Elsewhere down the corridor, Majesty had just walked into the tea room-slash-prison. Moondancer was waiting for her, her back facing the door as she pondered the teacup in front of her.
“Moondancer,” Majesty said carefully. “Where are the prisoners?”
Turning around, Majesty saw rivers of dried tears on Moondancer’s coat.
“I let them go,” she said with a shrug. She rubbed her eyes for second as Majesty stood still and quiet. “I thought about making up some kind of story, but never settled on anything good. I honestly didn’t think you’d let me talk this much.”
She smile winsomely as blue flame danced in Majesty’s eyes. The flame and anger asked, “Why?”
Moondancer shrugged, accidentally knocking over the tea pot. She grabbed a napkin in panic, then dropped it onto the floor, laughing. Her forelimb shot out, sending the teapot skittering against the wall, leaving a trail of tea as it went.
“He made me remember Galaxy. You took my memory, didn’t you? You just wished that we would forget, and we lived with it. Well, I’ve let your cat out of the box. I hope it’ll take more than an ‘I wish’ to settle this one.” She looked up, fear and hope dancing in her eyes. “Are you going to make me forget again?”
Majesty stepped closer and shook her head, shaking.
Laughter bubbled up from inside Moondancer. “I’m surprised to say that I’m actually relieved. Majesty, if you ever really loved me, make it quick.”
“No,” Majesty said softly. She leaned over, whispering a sentence into Moondancer’s ear. The shivering historian suddenly stopped still, and Majesty stared at her for nearly a full minute.
“I should have watched you more carefully,” she said at last. “So many worries and duties inside one mare. You know, my Lady Moondancer, you often seem to be burning the candle at both ends. One day, you’ll just burn yourself out.”
Blue flame shot up Majesty’s horn as she leaned over, lighting the wick that tumbled out of the end of Moondancer’s horn. With a single glance at the unchanging face with the waxy smile and teardrops frozen in mid-journey, Majesty walked away.
Elsewhere in the castle, the screaming began.
___
As Majesty galloped through the castle, the hair of her coat rose, standing on end. Her nostrils were assaulted by the smell of lightning-struck ground. Majesty knew that scent well, having struck a wizard or two down with lightning in her day. Relief filled her when no smell of burning flesh rose to greet her.
Racing towards the throne, she spied Medley and Seashell, waiting for the end behind an ancient suit of armor. The familiar pleading of panicked ponies came to her ears.
“It’s a cloud monster,” Medley whispered, eyes closed. “It’s everywhere!”
Seashell rocked Medley inside her forelimbs. "It has lightning, my Queen.”
Majesty spared her a quick nod. “We’ll have to round up everypony. Medley, go get Peaches and--”
Medley’s eyes widened in horror as she turned to stare at Majesty. “Don’t do anything to Peaches! Please!”
Seashell pulled back Medley, shivering. “Sh-she didn’t mean it, Majesty. I promise.” She turned Medley around, letting the terrified mare cry into Seashell’s coat. “She’s just afraid.”
Majesty started to say something before she slipped on the look of unaffected determination that is the blessing and curse of all royalty. “Gather all ponies into the throne room.” Her gentle command brooked no argument. “Let them see what I do to monsters that come to Ponyland.”
They curtsied, backing away down the hallway and only turning around once Majesty was out of sight. Alone, Majesty shook on her hooves for a moment, tears running down her cheeks. She wiped them away, placed the mask back in place, and walked off as a confident queen to do battle.
___
A cloud of terror hung over the throne room, and as it thundered ponies shrank back. They hid behind pillars or huddled together, but the cloud was everywhere the ceiling was, and bolts of lightning more frightening than painful induced many of them to adopt their standard procedure of running in circles. Through it all, the calmest member was a single, orange-coated earth pony, and she was solely responsible for whatever calm remained. Her bloodline had a reputation dating back to the battle against Tirek, and the simple fruit farmer would rather die than shame her family.
Then Majesty walked into the room, and silence followed, though the fear of the ponies merely shifted targets instead of retreating.
Her face held no emotion as she examined the mass of thunder and fury. It moaned, screamed, and shrieked all at once.
Clicking her tongue, Majesty announced to the crowd, “I wish the living cloud would turn into cotton candy!”
Somewhere far beyond Ponyland in the void of spaces between, S’ngac, the violet gas that leads dreamers through the cosmos, was discomfited by transforming into a sugary concoction. Wishes will travel far to fulfill themselves, after all. Majesty was unaware of this, nor of the great quest undergone by one of Earth’s own dreamers to restore S’ngac to his airy state. All she knew was that the cloud in front of her continued to convulse in spite of her wish, and for the second time her life Queen Majesty knew fear.
Majesty blinked. “It... it didn’t work.”
The ponies of Dream Castle were more accustomed to knowing fear, and they knew how to express themselves well.
“We’re doomed,” screamed a mare clutching her head, “run for your lives!”
As one stallion abandoned his mate and ran behind Majesty’s throne to hide, another looked at his children with a sadly calculating eye, placing a hoof on each of their shoulders.
“My love,” he said into his mare’s ear, “if the monster gets-- ”
The cloud instantly stopped, turning back to white and fluffy as it said, “Phooey. This isn’t fun anymore.”
The room went silent as the Doctor stuck his head in the throne room archway, waving his glowing blue wand in one hoof.
“Oh, I’m not actually a monster,” he said with a grin. "Well, sometimes I wonder. Well... ” He closed his eyes and shook his head. “Anyway, boo. Did I say ‘boo,’ yet?”
Majesty shook as she ground her teeth. “Doctor. You dare frighten my- ”
“He’s not alone!” Ditzy dropped out of the cloud, hovering upside down as she fought a fit of the giggles. “I think I was more frightening, though.”
The assembled Ponyland subjects shrank back from the travelers as the Doctor advanced on their Queen. Looking her in the eye, he pronounced like a disappointed professor, “You’ve failed, Majesty.”
“Indeed?” She burst alight, blue flame wreathing her body. “Before I wish more pain upon you, please explain your nonsense theory to me.”
Dropping to the floor, Ditzy chuckled under her breath. “They always fall for that,” she said.
The Doctor grit his teeth, and leaned closer until Majesty felt his breath on her ear. “There’s always going to be a monster here in Ponyland,” he whispered.
Her laugh was heartbreakingly musical. “Indulge me, Doctor. Where shall this monster hail from after all of the neighboring lands are candy and dust?”
“Always a monster,” he announced more loudly, pulling back from the burning Queen. “As long as you’re alive.”
“Really.” She turned, amusement plain on her face. “I think my subjects would-- ”
The ponies of Dream Castle stared back at their Queen, shaking and silent. The Doctor briefly felt guilty for the heartbroken look on Majesty’s face. He took the mercy in his heart, picked it up, and carefully put it in a shoebox with holes punched in the sides, and hid it deep inside himself as he resolved to push her to the bitter end.
“Hurts, doesn’t it. Go ahead. Make me hurt.” He sighed, coughing into his hoof. “Then again, you can’t. That’s why you didn’t wipe Moondancer’s memory again the way you erased the memory of Galaxy.”
A collective gasp rose in the crowd. Ditzy turned away, knowing the fun part was over as she saw the shock on Majesty’s face.
“How...” The omnipotent ruler of all she surveyed stammered at the Doctor. “How could you...”
“Fact number one,” said the Doctor, pacing back and forth in front of the crowd like a mystery novel detective during a particularly juicy patio-side reveal of a killer. “Moondancer’s not here. You killed her, didn’t you? If you had the power, I’m sure you’d have kept her around.” His eyes pleaded with her. “Please tell me she’s still alive. I might hold back if you do.”
As Majesty stared at him silently, a tear rolled down her muzzle. His eyes narrowed. The Doctor had silent attention of an entire kingdom, but had no joy in his fiery hearts as he continued.
“Fact two,” he spat out, walking forward and forcing Majesty back a step. “The executions! If you found a favorite way, you would’ve kept it. Why else kill all those wizards in so many ways unless you had to?”
“I could kill you now,” she said in a shaking voice.
His hoof swept out towards their audience. “Would that ever satisfy their curiosity? Would-- ”
Ditzy slammed into the ground next to Majesty, wings flaring out and teeth barred. “Try it, sister! Worse than you have!”
“I agree,” the Doctor said sadly. “I’ve met worse. You genuinely cared for every pony.” He sighed. “Galaxy came back. You were happy, until she spoke of lands where ponies could settle and breed, expand and grow. You were so afraid of your ponies leaving, weren’t you?.”
“I wish...” Majesty raised a hoof, teeth chattering. “I wish...”
“Until she ended up in a cold grave in the Ponyland cornfield,” he concluded.
Majesty dropped her hoof, turning to her subjects. They were no longer smiling.
Tears ran down Ditzy’s cheeks. The Doctor knew that she had never met Galaxy, never ever heard of her, but as sure as the sun rose and set he knew that Ditzy Doo was crying for her, and at that moment she won at least one of his hearts.
“That’s horrible,” she said, before the curiosity he normally adored in her reared its head at the worst possible time. “How did she... ”
Years of repressed memories burned in the Doctor’s eyes as he brought his shaking stare toward his companion. “Ditzy, Ditzy, Ditzy.I’m sorry. I never said she was dead beforehand. All hail the mercy of Majesty, eh?”
Majesty recognized the look in her subjects’ eyes. They had given it to the Cloud Giant, the Weather Witch, and numerous others before. When that look was turned to her, her heart and soul finally snapped, and Majesty’s laugh rang like a frozen block of acid.
“Mercy?” She shook her head, clicking her tongue. “Doctor, we ponies live at the world’s mercy, and it is a cruel world indeed. We have none of our own mercy to give, and especially none for cowards and deserters.” She was heaving as she said, “I protect them, Doctor. Every pony here I love like they were my children... ”
The Doctor smashed his hooves at her feet, his spittle flying onto Majesty’s face as he screamed. “And they will be children forever! They languish under you, never growing up, never taking responsibility for themselves. We made a light-and-sound show you couldn’t solve immediately, and these ponies, ponies descended from the line that fought Tirek, these ponies soiled themselves and wept!” He snarled. “Congratulations, Majesty, you’ve done what no wizard could! You broke Ponyland!”
The flame died over Majesty as she stepped backwards. Turning, she walked towards her throne, heart pounding in her chest as she approached her subjects. They stood their ground, eyes hardened like stone, and she was filled with both pride and despair.
“You killed ‘em,” said the orange pony, approaching Majesty as only Galaxy ever had. “You killed Galaxy and Moondancer. I don’t rightly think much of you anymore.” Her eyebrows raised. “Well, I said it. You gonna kill me now?”
Ditzy’s eyes widened as she looked over the brave girl. “Doctor,” she whispered,“is she related to who... ”
“It’s an old family,” he concluded with a nod, wrapping a comforting forelimb around her neck. “Shh, Ditzy. We get to see how much of Majesty’s soul is left.”
“I... ” Majesty shook her head. “I wish... that I could just say... I’m sorry.”
There was a pause, and the entire throne room held its breath as nothing happened.
“Nope,” said the brave mare as she stared into Majesty’s eyes. “Ain’t no matter who wishes that. Ain’t never worked.”
Majesty nodded. She turned, tears burning in her eyes, and as she started to whisper began to glow brightly blue. Sapphire clouds sprung from her feet, whipping around her in a spherical tornado.”
As the assembled ponies watched, Ditzy whispered, “What’s she doing Doctor?”
He sighed.
“Majesty knows that she’s their biggest problem. She’s solving it the only way she knows how, Ditzy. She’s making a wish; a long, careful wish.” He pointed at the assembled ponies, hiding behind the statues of the long-defeated with more caution than fear now. “That’s most tragic thing, really,” said the Doctor as he turned away. “She has and will give her all for them, and in the end there’s no one brave enough to hold her.”
Ditzy nodded with tearful eyes, inside which flashed a spark of determination. She walked out of the crowd, her wings raised to her face as blue clouds surged around her. Fighting her way free of the tempest, she closed on Majesty, who flashed a warning glance. Ditzy only made out the words, “...wise, but not alone,” before Majesty hesitated.
Ditzy extended a wing and carefully rested behind Majesty’s neck, holding her tightly. A long, shuddering breath escaped from Majesty’s lungs, and she smiled for a second with tightly closed eyes before continuing.
The Doctor knew then that Ditzy Doo had both of his hearts.
Majesty finished soon after, and waited a moment. “I just,” she started to say, swallowing hard. “I just want to say... ”
And then the five flowers on her flank burned with flame, and she exploded into waves of bright blue light. They swept over the time travelers quickly, but the wall of energy slowed down as the light seeped into the walls and ponies of the kingdom. Ditzy saw a mare heavy with child glow blindingly bright compared with the others. There was a sound so loud that nopony’s ears could hear it.
Majesty’s famed glass seeing ball cracked into pieces at that very moment, frustrating generations of less romantic future historians who maintained that event was only oral tradition. A rain of powder fell from the ceiling and fearful eyes saw crumbling stonework.
“Everypony,” shouted the orange mare, “run for... ”
Whatever dramatic statement she meant to say was lost as the castle exploded harmlessly, crumbling into sugary dust that the great blue winds scattered away. Only two things were left. The ancient candy garden in the center of the castle was visible, and where the throne had been a patch of iridescent blue flowers grew.
Ponies began to cluster into groups, relieved laughter filling the air as many felt the stone that was now sugar settle on their tongues. As conversations and hugs spread, the fearless orange girl who had stared down Majesty started to sniff at the flowers.
“Oh, no!” The Doctor jumped forward, shouting. “Don’t touch those, Applejack!”
Ditzy giggled uncontrollably.
Applejack looked up, staring at him suspiciously. “How do y’all know my name?”
“Well,” the Doctor said as he scratched the back of his neck, “You’ve got apples for a cutie mark, right? Makes sense. I mean,” he said with a smile, “there always has to be an Applejack, right?”
The rugged-looking earth mare nodded with a distrustful look. “You were screaming about the flowers... ”
“Ah! Them. Oh. They’re, ah... ” His eyes showed an inner struggle he finally succumbed to as he shrugged. “Heck, what’s another closed causality loop in time among friends? ‘Somepony’ one day names them Poison Joke. They do funny things to you. Majesty-kind-of-funny things to you. I’d tell ponies to keep away.”
___
The next few hours passed in a blur as all of Ponyland mobilized. Family groups emerged, belongings were picked out of the sweet rubble, and the candy garden soon all but vanished as the homeless nation packed their provisions.
Ditzy Doo smiled as she picked another lollipop flower, talking through the stem in her mouth. “Does anyone else need... ”
A pale unicorn raise her hoof uncomfortably, biting her lip. Closing her eyes, she finally scratched the mental itch of an instinct as her horn flared into light, pulling the candy out of the air as it fell out of Ditzy’s open mouth.
As cries of wonder rose from the crowd, Ditzy turned to the Doctor, who was calmly rationing out gumdrop berries.
“Doctor! Did you see that?”
“Yup,” he said as he tousled a filly’s mane. “Look at her mark. The Sparkle family always tended to pick things up fast.”
Ditzy fell onto her back, laughing. “S-s-so, the levitation and the cloud-walking and everything... start here?”
He nodded. “One of Majesty’s three gifts to her people. The skills to survive, the Poison Joke to keep them from getting too serious, and... ” He tapped his chin thoughtfully. “There was a third. I think it came in a pair.”
Ditzy blew a raspberry at him, pulling herself to her feet. “Silly, forgetful Doctor,” she said, but he only smiled knowingly.
Turning to the last pony in line, she handed over the rest of her lollipops to the expectant mother she had seen earlier. A proud stallion held his mare up with a forelimb. Ditzy’s heart jumped at the uncertainty in the mare’s eyes; she couldn’t have been much older than Ditzy.
“Good luck,” she finally said. Ditzy couldn’t think of much else to offer. “Where are you all going to go?”
“We’ll head out. Galaxy found safe places.” The young mother-to-be smiled. “We’re a herd now. We’ll rely on each other, and we’ll find a home too.”
Her mate ran a lingering hoof down her side as he stared into his wife’s eyes. Only Ditzy and the Doctor noticed the strong, iridescent blue glow that fairly crackled in the pregnant mare’s belly as he touched her. “My lady’s right. We’ll make do. Our little Celestia will be born someplace without monsters or a Majesty. We just have to find it.”
Ditzy stared at them, mouth hanging open as the hopeful couple walked towards their family. They had a good chance on the face of it; the two dragons were travelling with them. Sounds that were nearly words fell out of Ditzy’s mouth as the last generation to live under Majesty waved their goodbyes to her, retreating over the green hills of Ponyland.
“Doctor,” she finally managed to spit out. “Is that really-- ”
“Shh.” He tapped her lips with a hoof. “Just enjoy it.”
“B-b-but how does that fit in with-- ”
“Ditzy, leave history her little twists and turns. Every mare needs her mysteries and contradictions. She’ll surprise you every time if you don’t force it out of her.” He winked. “I’ll tell you later. Maybe I’ll even show you. She had a wandering streak as a teenager, believe you me.”
He turned away, taking a deep breath as the last settler vanished into the distance.
“There they go, Ditzy. Small groups, spreading out until they find their own way in the world. It’s from them that heroes will spring, like Clover the Clever, Smart Cookie, and Private Pansy, heroes that will carve out the lands that unite to be Equestria.” He bit his lip, pausing. “In less than a century, those rugged earth ponies will produce Mooncatcher the Hunter, the only mortal Princess Luna ever gave her heart to.”
“Wow!” Ditzy said as she smiled. “How romantic. Doctor, what happened to him?”
On days like this, he really wished that his memory wasn’t so good. The Doctor took a few steps toward the last of the now decaying candy garden. He reached out, gently passing a hoof along a mint lollipop. At his touch, it cracked and bits of it fell away.
“He died, Ditzy. All mortals do, in the end.”
He held his hoof into the air, staring into the bits of peppermint stuck to it. Ditzy sat back on her haunches and reached out, holding his hoof in hers.
“But she never forgot, right Doctor? So the memory is still around. That’s like living forever.”
Her smile was tender now, and he thought he could study it for centuries.
“No,” the Doctor replied with a smile. “No, never forgotten. Let’s go, Ditzy. Let’s go live.”
The pair turned, not looking back upon the lollipop as it crumbled into dust and sugar.
Author's Note
Dedicated to the wonderful Lady Moondancer, whose "Heck Yeah, Pony Scans" tumblr and RPG.net posts taught us all about the terrible wonder of Dream Valley.
