Pony Princess Twilight Sparkle's Pony Princess Adventures

by Ara

Rating: mature
Tags: Sex, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Cadance, Dark, Soarin, Romance, Comedy, Shining Armor, Princess Celestia
Length: 10966

Princess Twilight Sparkle abuses her princessly power.

Twilight Sparkle has just become a princess, and been given authority over other ponies in the glorious land of Equestria. But Twilight Sparkle is a bad horse princess, and quickly begins to abuse her power in various ways. Possibly more chapters to come if you know what I mean ;2

Cover image courtesy of Autumn Bramble, used with permission.

Published 2013-11-09 00:10:03 UTC
Last updated 2015-01-20 15:26:05 UTC

The Great Testicle Experiment

Princess Twilight Sparkle had become a horse princess.

She had magic wings and a magic horn, and was the only unicorn horse pony to even ever grow real permanent magical wings and become a horse princess.

Princess Celestia, biggest horse boss of all ponies, had said "Twilight Sparkle, I made you a horse princess because you are the most powerful small pony of all the small ponies, and I think it is time for you to be in charge."

Twilight Sparkle had made a big grin smile, and said "You won't be disappointed Madame Princess! Just tell me what to do!"

But Princess Celestia had sighed, her glorious white body moving with breath as she breathed. "Princess Twilight horse Sparkle, as a Princess, nopony tells you what to do. You are in charge of Ponyville. I'll come check on you in a week so don't fuck it up."

Before Twilght Sparkle, Ponyville Princess could say anything, Princess Celestia had turned around and flown away into the stratosphere, and the last sight that Princess Twilight Sparkle of Ponyville saw was Princess Celestia's glorious white ass soaring into the sky, and she could just barely see a mare nipple but maybe it was a speck. It was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen, and she cried three tears from her left eye because it moved her heart and her groin with its beauty.

Then there was a scene break while Twilight Sparkle went to Ponyville.

Twilight Sparkle had put a giant crown on top of her library house with her magic horse powers and told everypony around that she was queen of Ponyville. Because Twilight was kind of socially retarded, and Mayor Mare was already kind of running things, Twilight Sparkle Princess called all of her friends over to tell her what she should do as Princess of Ponyville.

The shy one said "uh, um, I think that a hands-off moderation style really lets the community flourish" but Twilight didn't hear her because she was too quiet.

The fast one said "Be fuckin like, BAM, like, WHOOSH and then I'll do a flip like, PTCHOW! And can you make me a wonderbolt?" but Twilight only heard "Wonderbolt" because honestly the fast one had really not paid any attention to the question and that was readily apparent to Twilight, and so Twilight was just listening for a cue to say something again. Like "I need to go," or "See you tomorrow" or something.

The hyper one said a whole lot of things in very fast succession, mostly nonsequiturs and stuff about parties, but Twilight didn't hear it because she honestly never listened when the hyper one said anything.

The gorgeous one said "Darling, one must behave at all times with poise and grace. If your subjects love and respect you, then you may use a gentle hoof to guide them and they would gladly follow." But Twilight didn't hear anything she said, because Twilight was staring deeply into the gorgeous one's eyes and following the curve of her soft, silky hair and how it lead to the curve of her ass and was it getting hot in here?

The apple one said something about ... something? Twilight honestly didn't remember asking the apple one for advice at all. Or to come over. Or like, really remember to acknowledge her in any way.

So Twilight had her advice. Her sleepy baby slave told her just to have fun and do what she wants, and that Celestia would probably be proud of whatever she did and would want her to take the initiative, so Twilight laid in bed smushing her dark horse labia most of the night, taking the advice of a baby child and thinking about what she really wanted to do.

The next morning, Spike went into the town center and shouted a proclamation.

"Hear ye! Hear ye!" Spike said, wearing a stupid squire outfit, "Princess of Ponyville, Twilight Sparkle the Pony Princess, hereby formally requests the presence of Mr. Cake and Big Macintosh at high noon this day of horse days!"

Everypony heard him and then he went back, sending a letter to Canterlot and a letter to Cloudsdale.

There was a line break to signify time passing, before high noon arrived.

Big Macintosh slowly approached the horse tree library of Princess Twilight Sparkle. He saw outside the front of it that Mr Cake was there, as well as Soarin from the wonderbolts, and Princess Twilight horse Sparkle's own brother Shining Armor, and also Iron Will the minotaur. He walked up very slowly and whispered to Mr. Cake, who was the only horse there he really knew.

"What's this all about?" he whispered. He said it all with a country accent but Mr. Cake sort of mentally just translated it, you know? Like if you talk to people with deformed faces all day at first it sounds like gibberish, but after a while you can understand them.

"I have no idea," Mr. Cake, who was kind of an idiot, said stupidly.

Big Mac didn't know any of the other horse people, so he just stood there and chewed a hay.

Right exactly at high noon, Princess of Ponyville Twilight Sparkle appeared in a flash of purple light on the balcony above the horses and minotaur. "Loyal Subjects!" she squealed, "I have brought you here today because I can do whatever I want! And my almost terrifyingly-abnormal horse brain has decided I want to measure your testicles and see which ones are the biggest! I have selected you because you are the only boy ponies I know!" She paused, "And a minotaur."

They all sort of muttered and mumbled to each other like a pantry full of otters. Apple horse, who was walking by at that time in the background, said "Hey Twilight, wasn't there some other boy horse you met? When you went through that magic mirror?" but thankfully Twilight Princess horse Sparkle ignored the apple horse completely.

In another flash of light she appeared on the ground behind the male horse boys and a minotaur. She was closest to Mr. Cake. They all started to turn around when she appeared in front of them in a brilliant flash of light and screeched "NO! Look this way so I can get to your horse testicles!" and then appeared behind them again in a flash of light while they all mumbled and murmured like if a bunch of otters were trying to hide in a laundry hamper.

Mr. Cake and Twilight Sparkle's horse brother Shining Armor started to turn, but they felt the cold brush of magical horse unicorn power holding them in place. It wasn't nice like somebody brushing your mane and tail with a tiny plastic brush. It was more like, if ice was greasy and fat. The magic gave the impression of being really greasy and fat.

Shining Armor horse said "What the fuck Twiley. This is kinda retarded. Plus I'm a prince so technically we're the same rank."

Twilight sparkle croaked out a laugh. "Whatever. You only have jurisdiction in the Crystal Empire, and the separate sovereigns rule implies that when you are in the lands under my power, you consent to my rules so nyeh!" she made a gross face with one nostril flared, but Shining Armor couldn't see it.

He said "I'm gonna fuckin' tell on you to my wife and she's gonna kick your butt!"

"More like kiss my butthole!" Twilight said, using magic to wrap a measuring tape around Mr. Cake's balls. "23 pony horse units in diameter," she said, using magic to make a note on a clipboard. By this time there were several onlookers.

Shining Armor didn't say anything because of the sick burn Twilight Sparkle Princess just handed down. Shining Armor always kinda froze up when he got served with a sick burn ever since he was a kid and some other kid called him "Shining Butthole."

With a flash, Twilight teleported behind Soarin. Mr. Cake asked if he could go and Twilight ignored him, using magic to cut off Soarin's fancy Wonderbolts flight suit just in the back so she could see his horse testicles and all that.

Twilight said "28 pony horse units" she said, nodding. Soarin said "Why does your magic feel so sweaty? Also the letter said this was a paid appearance so w-"

"No," gurgled Twilight Princess Sparkle, applying some pressure to Soarin's horse testicles with her sweaty magic. He shut up pretty quick.

With a flash of magic she appeared behind Shining Armor.

"Twiley, you better fucking not touch my balls," he said.

He felt a sweaty point of magic run in a line between his balls.

"Fuckin' Twiley? What did I just fuckin- son of a fuck!" He felt something really hot and wet squishing on his balls while magic pushed on his puffy horse asshole.

"Fuckin Twilight horse fuckin' Sparkle you stop right this-" then the wet thing touched his horse anus while the magic cupped his balls. "Is that your fuckin' you'd better not be fuckin' this is fuckin' creepy I'm your fucking brother!"

"Haha he's getting a boner!" some light blue lesbian horse in the crowd said to her horse lover who was a garbagemare.

Twilight Sparkle appeared in front of him with a flash of light but the feelings stayed back there.

"You dumbass loser," Twilight Sparkle said, even though that was a slur against donkeys. "I'm just fucking with you." She laughed so hard tears came down her face like semen down a horse's pony face if it was water instead of semen and in her eye but you know still a little bit salty.

"Haha, what an idiot. You thought-" She stuck out her tongue, "Haha as if! Seriously?" With a flash of light she appeared behind him and said "What a fuckin' joke." She burst out laughing. "18 pony horse units. What a fuckup."

The feelings left his nuts and Shining Armor collapsed from pure shame. A little vomit came out his nose and he cried tears that weren't from laughter though. Well, technically they were, but not from his laughter.

With a flash she teleported behind Iron Will the Minotaur. He'd been strangely silent the whole time. He spread his legs slightly and everypony gasped and a few said stuff like "Holy shit!" or "Celestia-daaaaaaaaayum!" or "Them's some big ass nuts!" and basically everypony cheered.

"Ho-lee fuck!" Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Ponyville said. "Fuckin' sixty three pony horse units..." her voice was a quiet whisper of awe. Like the sound a butterfly might make if it was swallowing a fart.

"You fuckers are free to go!" Princess Twilight Sparkle said, Teleporting in front of them. Using her magic, she lifted Iron Will up on the balcony and then teleported up herself, quickly going inside.

There was a page break to denote a scene change as the crowd erupted in cheers and the male horse ponies either cried or else went home or else had kind of confused boners and just stood around.

Princess Celestia, most powerful of all horses and biggest pony horse, arrived in Ponyville at Twilight Sparkle's library headquarters. She used horse magic to disintegrate the giant crown, mumbling "what the fuck" under her breath.

She knocked on the balcony door with a perfectly formed horse front hoof, but nopony answered. Child slave dragon Spike didn't answer either.

That was really unusual so she knocked again. Then she noticed the balcony was swaying slightly under her hooves.

She pressed the most beatifully-shaped horse ear in all of creation up against the door, and faintly made out a voice saying "If you want more minotaur nut, then put your tongue up his butt!" followed by an audible fist pump.

She touched the door with her glorious unicorn horn, so thin and straight and majestic. It made ponies swoon just to think about that horn, and the door popped open like an exploding ghost.

Crusty dried jizz covered every available surface. Books were scattered everywhere, the bedsheets and pillows and crap were dangling off the balcony and the ceiling, coated in gross spunk, and Iron Will the Minotaur was crouched, facing over the balcony, with Twilight Sparkle Princess behind him. Her hair and tail were sticking up in a bunch of angles, like if you put five weasels in a Chinese takeout container and then opened it up suddenly, and it was all glued in place sticking up like that with jizz.

Iron Will's huge balls were slapping Twilight in the face, and her orange tongue was just barely visible between his buttcheeks.

"WHAT THE HOLY FUCK IS GOING ON IN HERE?" Princess Celestia shouted.

Before anypony could explain anything Princess Celestia stomped into the house, her mane and tail flared up like it was a rainbow pastel storm, like if a kid ate a box of crayons and then was just throwing them up forever.

"WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT THE ENTIRE FUCK?" She shouted.

"Girls like a man who takes charge," Iron Will said, pumping his fist audibly. "It's like I always say, When-" But Princess Celestia shot a beam of golden light horse energy at him and he vanished.

"What did you do?!" Twilight Sparkle Princess said, hiding under the bed.

"Oh me-dammit," Celestia said, stomping her perfect hoof, the silhouette of her ass outlined against the sunlight from outside, "I just sent him home is all." She made that eyebrow face like they do in Pixar movie covers. "I mean seriously I'm like, not gonna hurt him or anything geez."

"Oh, yeah. I guess." Twilight muttered horsely.

"But me-fuckin' damn, Twilight, what the whole entire fuck?" Celestia frowned, her lips turned down. Her gorgeous, full horse lips on her narrow, perfect horse face. Twilight came just the littlest bit. "This isn't remotely what you were supposed to do. Where the fuck is Spike."

"Hiding in the kitchen cabinet," Twilight said.

"Aww maaaaaaayun! How'd you know?" Spike yelled from downstairs.

"Duh, Spike, you're kind of an idiot. It's where you always hide." Said Twilight, making the same Pixar movie cover eyebrow face as Princess Celestia, although it wasn't nearly that hot.

"Dang" said Spike.

"First, Spike, Clean up all this cum everywhere," said Princess Celestia.

"motherfuck," said Spike under his breath.

"What did you say?" said Princess Celestia.

"Uh, just, uh, nothing," said Spike, getting a mop and a sponge, "I didn't say a dirty word I was just uh," he peed a little but quickly wiped it up.

"Second, Twilight, you're fucking terrible. I'm taking you back to Canterlot and throwing you in the dungeon."

"Are you going to punish me?" asked Twilight. Her voice was full of trepidation.

"Well, no fucking shit," said Princess Celestia, tossing her mane over her back with a sigh.

"You'd better do it personally," Twilight said. Her blush was invisible under all the cum dried to her face, "so that it's perfectly appropriate to the crimes I've committed." She paused a bit and made sure her tail was covering up her crotch. "Plus it is just so embarrassing coming from you, who I look up to so much." Twilight didn't pee a little, but something made a spot on the floor underneath her if you know what I mean.

"Yeah, I guess that makes sense," Celestia said, tapping one amazing hoof edge against one soft, perfect lip. "Okay sure."

She surrounded them both with the glow of magic and before they teleported straight to the Canterlot dungeon, Spike could swear he heard Twilight say "score"

THE END

Author's Note

This is a story about how it would really happen if Twilight was in charge of Ponyville. There might be other chapters later on or something, but maybe there won't be. Nopony really knows for sure.

The Fabulous Filly Fiasco

"And lastly," Princess Celestia said, bringing the riding crop in a sharp arc across Twilight's flank to punctuate the important words, "I'm just disappointed that you didn't even exercise your usual scientific rigor and thoroughness."

Twilight horse princess Sparkle moaned into her bit gag, the ropes keeping her from raising her head more than an inch off the floor. Princess Celestia, largest horse boss of all the ponies, raised the riding crop high up in the air, using her magic to swing it fast enough to make it whistle when it sped toward Twilight Sparkle, princess of Ponyville's, upturned ass.

"You actually," Princess Celestia's perfect horse mouth was just visible out of the corner of Twilight Sparkle horse's eye, a little blurry through the tears running down her cheek, "Never"--smack--"measured"--smack--"Big Mac's"--smack--"Balls!" The force of the last hit almost knocked the horse princess of Ponyville over, but fortunately for the horse princess Twilight Sparke, her forehooves were tied to her rearhooves, and there was a rope between those that went to the big iron rings set into the stone floor, so she just wobbled a lot.

She mumbled something into her bit. Her magical wings were bound up tight to her side, and her tail was raised as high as it could go, held in place with more ropes so that she couldn't intercept the strikes with the crop.

The brilliant white shape of Princess Celestia moved more fully into view, until Twilight was looking up into the Princess's perfect pink eyes, and the Princess's shimmering, multicolored mane that was more beautiful than the aurora over the Crystal Empire at night. Princess Celestia sighed, her long, magnificent horn descending to barely touch Twilight horse's ropes, magically causing them to unravel.

"My faithful student," Celestia said, her crestfallen face making Twilight moan into her gag before it fell out of her mouth, "I really don't enjoy punishing you." Twilight horse flopped onto the stone floor, blinking slowly. "I didn't enjoy making you clean my hooves with your tongue to show you humility."

Twilight moaned a little, shifting her thighs.

"I didn't enjoy tying you up," another moan from Twilight horse, "or pushing you so forcefully against the floor," Twilight sighed, "Or raising up your tail and spanking you with this riding crop." Twilight bit her lip to keep from making quite so much noise as the riding crop clattered onto the floor in front of her nose.

"As a matter of fact, Twilight," Princess Celestia said, not really looking at her student (Twilight took the opportunity to really study the perfect shape of the Princess's neck as it connected to the perfect form of her jawline), "I'm afraid I may have accidentally struck your privates with some of those whippings," Twilight clamped her hoof in her mouth to quiet the moan that she couldn't entirely swallow. "And for that, I'm truly sorry," Celestia said, turning to leave.

Twilight just managed to gasp out a "Oh, that's really quite all right," trying to get a peek of the boss horse Princess's breathtaking nipples. "I definitely deserved it," she moaned as she orgasmed secretly onto the dungeon floor.

"Well, I don't want you to deserve it!" Princess Celestia said, turning sharply and striking the cobblestones with a hoof that, if you really looked at it, represented the absolute, platonic form of a hoof. Twilight horse Sparkle shuddered and rolled her eyes, moving her tail to cover up the wet spot behind her.

"Now get out there and don't fuck up this time!" Princess Celestia said. As her pure white coat and glorious golden sun mark disappeared from Twilight's view, she heard the Princess of all horse ponies declaim, "If you fuck up again, I'm going to punish you twice as hard! You have three days to get your shit together, Twilight Sparkle!"

Then there was a line break to signify a bunch of boring crap, like Twilight cleaning up and getting back to Ponyville.

"Spike, I've got to get back down there," Alicorn princess of Ponyville Twilight horse Sparkle said to her baby dragon slave. "It was the most amazing four days of my life."

"Gross, Twilight," Spike said, drawing wieners on the overleaf of some random history book.

"She was with me the whole time," Twilight said, sitting very gingerly onto a big pillow in the middle of the floor, "Like, the whole time, Spike."

"Gross, Twilight."

"The Princess would say 'If you act like an animal or a misbehaving child, then you'll be treated as one' when she made me pee in front of her, right there on the floor."

"Gross, Twilight!"

"And then I'd feel her magic wrap the ropes across my skin," Twilight purred, "and feel the sharp-"

"Twilight! Super gross!" Spike tossed the wiener book toward his master and owner, horse princess Twilight Sparkle.

Twilight just ignored him. The book didn't come anywhere near her. "And oh Celestia! I don't even know what she'll do next time! Maybe she'll make me drink her pee or-"

"Twilight!" Spike shouted, flailing his stubby little arms, "Alright! What are you trying to do again? If it'll make you shut up about all that gross stuff I'll do whatever you want!" He sobbed, "Like, even more than I already do!"

Twilight levitated an ice pack from the bucked next to her big soft pillow, and placed it against her flank. She fluttered her eyelashes. "I have to fuck up, but I gotta fuck up way worse. I want to make it so that she locks me down there for a month! I want her to make me her bitch!" Twilight moaned.

"Augh! Gross!" Spike moaned too, but not nearly the same kind of moan. "If you want to fuck up really bad, just ask all your friends what you should do, and then do all the things at once!" Spike said, hurrying into the kitchen, "And, uh, I'll get you a towel. You're uh, dripping."

"So I am," Twilight said, dabbing a spot of slick natural lubricant onto her tongue with her magical horse princess telekinesis.

"So I am."

Then there was a line break while Twilight talked to her very best friends, one at a time, of course.

The shy one said, "um, if you really wanna lick this thing, you need to diversify your sources of input. An open forum where the members can air their grievances without fear of reprisal is the best way to actively improve a community, um, I guess..." and Twilight made a note.

The fast one said, "You gotta have like, an awesome fanclub where everypony is goin' outta their way to kiss your hooves!" and Twilight made a note.

The hyper one said a whole bunch of things, mostly about parties but there was one coherent thing about how the kids in Ponyville don't really have a great place to hang out, and Twilight made a note.

The gorgeous one said, "Darling, to really be successful at this kind of thing, you have to put in your hours. Being beautiful, being an object of worship, requires not just practice, but hard work. If you want to succeed, you're going to have to really work up a sweat showing everypony that you deserve to be in charge." Twilight made a note, although she did get really distracted when the gorgeous one did a little spin and fluttered her eyelashes. She couldn't help but notice that the silky white coat of the gorgeous one positively gleamed in the sunlight, and her beautiful hair bounced against her shapely shoulder, her tail settling between her plump, curvaceous-

Twilight shook her head. She was on a mission, and she'd need the help of all of her friends.

After the last one had left, she turned to Spike.

"So, what do you think?"

"We haven't heard from Applejack yet," Spike said.

"Who?" Twilight asked.

Spike sighed and looked down at the notes. "So, what we need I guess, is a fanclub of children who you listen to decide policy and you gotta go big with it and prove to the children that you're the boss."

Twilight began rubbing her hooves together, her magical alicorn brain concocting all kinds of schemes. "Yes." She clicked her hooves together, "Yesssss." She tapped one hoof against her front tooth. "I think I have just the-"

Suddenly there was a knock at the door!

Spike hurried over to answer it, and saw Soarin, Ace Wonderbolt Extraordinaire, with his front hoof raised to knock at the door again.

"Uh, can I help you?" Spike asked, looking up at Soarin like he was an effin idiot.

"Alicorn Princess Twilight Sparkle home?" pegasus horse Soarin asked, tapping his back hoof against the step.

"Duh," Spike said, making that Pixar movie cover face and waving casually behind him, where horse princess Twilight was clearly visible on her huge pillow with an ice pack pressed gingerly to her flank and a towel conspicuously located directly behind her butt.

Soarin took a few nervous steps inside. "Well, uh," he stammered like an idiot, "can I talk to her, you know, privately?" he said, looking at Spike.

Spike closed the door, leaning against it. "Yeah, sure, whatever, go ahead," he said, not moving.

Soarin walked slowly up to the horse princess of Ponyville, glancing pointedly at Spike every now and again.

"What is it?" Twilight screeched, drumming her hooves together, "I've got scheming to do!"

Soarin held one hoof up next to his face, "It's kinda, you know, adult," he said. "Can we like, can you tell the uh," he glanced in Spike's direction a few times, "to, you know, get lost?"

Twilight rolled her horse eyes and gave a horse sigh. "Yeah, ok, whatever," she said, "Spike! Go downstairs and play."

Spike giggled and rain down the basement stairs.

"You'd better not draw wieners on anything though!" Twilight yelled after him.

"Awwwww maaaaaaaaaaayun!" Spike shouted back.

Soarin, Meanwhile, had come right up to horse princess Twilight Sparkle of Ponyville. He leaned his big horse face down next to hers, his horse breath smushing all over her own horse face.

"So, uh," Soarin said, blushing idiotically, "When you messed around with my balls and stuff, that was really hot."

"Hot," said Twilight, staring off into space and making a note.

"Do you wanna, like, gimme a quick jerkoff or somethin'?" Soarin asked, doing the universal jerkoff motion with one hoof.

Twilight wasn't really paying attention.

"Or like, mess around with my balls while I fuck this pillow or like, you know, whatever?" Soarin asked, poking the pillow a little bit with his hooftip.

Twilight gently pushed him out of the door with her magic. Her fat, sweaty magic. If she had been looking at him, she would have seen the obvious outline of his boner against his flight suit. She closed the library door with a slam, before a line break indicated both the passage of time, and a scene change.

Unicorn horse prince Shining Armor lay in his crib, his huge pink princess wife, alicorn horse Mi Amore Cadenza, rocking it gently with one hoof.

"It's not fair!" Shining Armor said, spitting out his pacifier, "Twilight was a giant cunt to me and showed everypony my balls and then made fun of my balls and I don't think anything bad even happened to her!"

Giant pink wife princess Mi Amore Cadenza nodded, levitating over the warm bottle of milk with her alicorn princess magic and putting the nipple of it up against his lips, "There there, Shiney-winey," She said as he suckled.

He pushed the nipple out of his mouth after the bottle was empty, burping when large horse princess Mi Amore Cadenza rubbed his back. "It's just not even fair!," he whined. "I want to teach her a lesson!"

Crystal Empress pony princess Mi Amore Cadenza took off her husband, Emperor Shining Armor's diaper, making a note in a notebook with "Love Experiments" written on the cover in puffy glitter pink t-shirt paint, and settled him into the bondage harness in the S&M station. She cracked the whip over his head, tightening the laces on her thigh-high black leather boots and gathering her hair into a tight, neat ponytail.

"Don't worry, my little pig-bitch slave," she said, inserting the double ended dildo gag into his mouth, "We'll get revenge on your sister right after I make you beg for my fat rubber cock like the worthless slut you are."

Shining laughed evilly around the fake horsedick in his mouth, his own penis straining against the chastity cage.

The final pagebreak was just a little bit ominous, but it totally indicated a scene change and the passage of time.

Princess Celestia had gotten a letter from the alicorn foundling that she'd put on the throne of the Crystal Empire, that being pink horse princess Empress Mi Amore Cadenza.

Princess Celestia, who was larger than horse Empress Mi Amore Cadenza, carefully unrolled the parchment, reading the letters with her deep, beautiful horse eyes.

"Dear Hottie," the letter began, the "i" written with a little heart instead of a dot, "Shining told me that T-light is doin some cray cray bidness and you gotta go handle yo bitches up in P-ville, ya heard?

"Number 1 Thundercunt, Cadenze" There was a line of "xoxo"s underneath, along with some glitter hearts.

Celestia carefully wrapped up the letter, depositing it gently into the fireplace. She sighed, a perfect expression of divine disquiet, and took wing.

Then, the last page break happened.

Shining Armor and Cadence were waiting outside Golden Oak library when the glorious wings of Princess Celestia, largest boss pony, blotted out the sun for just a moment, before the entire white, perfect body of horse Princess Celestia descended with perfect grace just outside the door.

"She's up to no good," said Shining Armor, whispering and pointing to the door. Cadence Empress petted him on the head with a hoof.

Celestia lowered her awe-inspiring horn, touching it to the door of the library. Shining Armor rubbed his hooves together. Cadence Empress Horse petted him on the head.

The library door gently opened like a demure ghost, and everypony there saw what was going on inside.

Twilight was reclining on her huge pillow in the middle of the library floor. In front of her, Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom ran in circles, sweat dripping off their little filly hides. On the pillow throne with Twilight, Scootaloo was laying on her back, squirming uncomfortably as Twilight licked her sweaty little legs, leaving shiny trails of spit on the filly's tiny hoof.

"Oh, no! Princess Celestia!" Twilight moaned, throwing one hoof dramatically across her forehead, "You've caught me licking the sweat from the hooves of children! An obviously deviant and unforgivable practice!" She dramatically removed Scootaloo's sweaty hoof from her mouth while the other children ran in circles in front of her pillow throne. Applebloom asked Sweetie Belle if she had her cutie mark yet.

"That's right," said Spike under his breath, glancing at an invisible point of view, "'Lick,' 'hoof,' 'child,' and 'sweat' is what she took away from her friends' advice. Those are literally the only four words she wrote down."

Shining Armor cackled with glee. Princess Empress large alicorn pink wife Mi Amore Cadenza furiously scribbled notes in her "Love Experiments" notebook, Princess horse alicorn Twilight Sparkle of Ponyville rolled Scootaloo off of her pillow throne with one hoof before dramatically leaping to the floor.

"I have been caught!" Princess Twilight horse Sparkle declaimed. "Directly scrutinized, in flagrante delicto!"

Scootaloo said "Ow!" but nopony really gave a crap.

She crawled across the floor on her belly, wings spread to her sides, groveling before the perfect form of horse Princess Celestia.

"Please, my mentor! My goddess! I accept my punshments, as well-deserved as they obviously are!"

Shining Armor stopped cackling, "Hey, wait a minute," he said.

Sweetie Belle asked if she could stop running, but nopony paid any attention to that either.

Princess Celestia just sighed. "Twilight Sparkle," She said, rolling her eyes, "What am I going to do with you?"

"Punish me?" asked Twilight, looking up into Celestia's wondrous face with her most adorable expression.

"Well," Said Celestia horse Princess, tapping her perfect hoof against her perfect teeth, "I guess I really don't have a choice."

And with Twilight in tow, she flew all the way back to Canterlot castle, and over the complaining fillies, and the crying of Shining Armor, and the scribbling of Cadence, Spike thought that he could just barely hear Twilight whisper "Score" as she disappeared into the sky.

THE END

Author's Note

This chapter is full of intrigue and danger.

Art is from Autumn Bramble and used with permission

The Saucy Season Four Celebration

~*Author's Note: This story takes place after the season four premiere, so it includes important facts like Twilight drinking cum and Princess sister tentacle sex. If you haven't seen the premier, and therefore don't know about Princess sister tentacle sex or Twilight drinking cum, then don't read this fic before you've watched it or you'll find out that Twilight drinks cum and the sister Princesses have tentacle sex*~

Twilight horse Sparkle, princess of Ponyville, sipped on her beaker of cum.

"I just can't get enough of this stuff!" she said as mini boss Princess Luna moon horse of the night finished buckling Twilight Sparkle's wings down so they wouldn't get in the way. Alicorn smaller boss horse Princess of Dreams Luna put the lacy stockings and frilly petticoats and puffy black dress and starched white apron on the smallest horse princess Twilight while Twilight drank her cum and smacked her lips after each sip.

"WE FIND YOUR NEW BEVERAGE OF CHOICE QUITE REVOLTING," mini boss Luna Princess horse said, her powerful voice blasting under Twilight's skirts because Luna was behind her messing about with some extra bows and stuff.

"Woah, nelly!" Twilight said, moaning into her cum flask. She took a minute to catch her breath before she explained. "It's just after all that stuff that happened before the summer summer sun summer sun celebration where I rescued you and Princess Celestia," she blushed just saying the perfect name of the most perfect horse Princess, "from those sexy tentacle vines," she blushed even more and her tail started to raise up on its own, "Who knows what was going on for that whole night and half the day, where you and Princess Celestia were all tied up by the vines, encapsulated by long, snakey appendages forcing themselves into your-"

"WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH YOU DRINKING CUM ALL THE TIME?" Princess mini boss Luna horse of the night asked, sending Twilight horse Sparkle princess tumbling ass over teakettle and landing teakettle up. Sticky strands of cum were dripping off her face, and she used her little orange princess horse tongue to lick some up off of the floor like a dog.

"Well, Zecora gave me a flask of magic horse cum to guzzle," Twilight horse explained as she got the last of the cum off the floor with her tongue. "It would give me magic flashbacks whenever I would guzzle some, and it just tasted great! I asked her what it was and she straight up said that my magic had turned her potion into cum, because of how abnormal my horse brain is. Normally it would be like, milk or stomach medicine or something apparently for a less abnormal horse."

Mini boss Luna walked over to Twilight horse Sparkle princess and licked a dab of it off of her nose. She wrinkled her dark blue nose up at the taste, and her shapely Princess tongue flicked over her gleaming white teeth and soft dark lips and she said, "No, I don't care for it." She didn't use her Royal Canterlot Princess Horse Voice because she was tired of having to chase Twilight horse all over the place when she rolled and flopped all over the floor all the time. One time Twilight horse ended up under the bed and mini boss Luna had to get a broom and slide it under there to get Twilight horse out. One time she was under the cabinet and mini boss horse Luna could just barely get her hoof on the end of Twilight Sparkle's princess tail and it kept slipping off so she ended up having to move the cabinet to even get to the smallest horse princess out from under there. Twilight would just make a little horse face the whole time.

Luna mini boss Luna lay on her side on her royal horse floor pillow and whickered. "Enough silly nonsense," she said, the graceful curve of her neck leading to her smooth side and belly, down to the supple arc of her dark, royal flank. "Now that you are appropriately attired, you must begin your cleaning duties."

"Ugh, when will Princess Celestia be back?" Twilight grumbled, licking the rim of her cum flask and smacking her lips.

Mini boss Luna moved her royal tail to the side, leaving her dark Princess anus and horse bits clearly visible. The drifty smoke of her starry nighttime tail was across her hip so that Twilight princess could just barely see her eyes. "My sister cannot spend every waking moment dealing with you." She grabbed a nice big section of Twilight horse's mane with her magic and drug her across the floor. Twilight's hooves slid across the tile as she kicked and whinnied, until her nose was pressed up under Princess Luna horse's own personal red ring of death (that's a gamer luna joke everybody loves that frisky filly!).

"Lick!" the horse Princess of Dreams said.

"Why is it always butt stuff with you?" Twilight asked around a mouthful of the darkest star in Luna's sky. "It's always 'lick my butt' or 'lube up my butt' or 'give my butt a hoofjob' or mrghthpth!" Mini boss Luna shoved Twilight horse more forcefully against the black hole in her celestial body and sighed. It was going to be a long night.

Fortunately, there was a page break that let us skip the rest of it.

"So why is it always butt stuff with Princess Luna?" Twilight horse asked as she took a sip from her cum flask.

She was walking unsteadily beside biggest horse boss Princess Celestia through the royal gardens. Her horse butt was covered in bandages from the spanking she'd gotten, but Twilight horse was mostly unsteady from all the horsgasms she'd secretly had while glorious Celestia had whipped her.

Princess Celestia adjusted her wings with a tender rustle of feathers that set Twilight horse's heart aflutter. The glorious large princess horse of the sun leaned down and whispered in Twilight's ear, her hot breath tickling Twilight's little ear hairs and making her drip a little down there. "Just say her name backwards," is what Celestia's perfect white horse mouth said, and Twilight could hear the spit in her mouth, and could imagine perfectly the shape of the Princess's lips and tongue as they made those words, and she had to hang back a bit and shudder as she came a little bit.

The she thought about Luna's name backwards and said "Oooooooh," then put her own smaller princess hoof up to her lip and said "but isn't it spelled with two 'a's?" Celestia Princess, largest horse boss, just winked. Like ;2 but with her actual horse face.

They were at the edge of the garden and Twilight horse took a long, thoughtful drink from her cum flask as Celestia talked.
Normally, Twilight Sparkle, former student of the glorious lilly white Princess-ruler of the Sun, would be hanging on Celestia's every word. But, as she sipped her cum, she kept thinking about the black vines. She kept thinking about how the vines must have wrapped themselves around the Princess's long, perfect leg, up across her flank that would have compressed just a little against the vine's grip. Around her throat, tangling up in her forelegs and her mane. Maybe, inside the cocoon of writing plants, blind tendrils had tried to push past her lips...

And on the other side of the page break, another pony was thinking about those very same vines. A pony that was a lot like Twilight Sparkle. (Spoilers: It's her brother.)

Empress large wife Mi Amore Cadenza did her bench presses while her husband Shining Armor spotted her with his protection magic. Cadence had always had a powerfully built chest, and prided herself on her forebody strength. It came in handy when she needed to hold her husband down for some of the less consensual love experiments.

"So, Cadence," Shining Armor said as his large princess wife lifted more than his body weight repeatedly with her front hooves, "I was thinkin' we still totally gotta get revenge on Twiley for humiliating me."

His large wife didn't answer. She grunted, breathing in through her nose and out through her mouth. Sweat rolled across her fuckin ripped chest as she heaved the weights up again and again. Shining Armor remembered the last time that chest had been pressed against his back, his large wife whispering in his ear. "This time, I'm going in dry." He shuddered.

She locked the bar into the frame and rolled onto her hooves. Her hair was tied back in a loose ponytail, and stray strands stuck to her sweaty face. Shining Armor checked the clipboard to see which method he was supposed to use to wipe her down today.

He took the green Shrek bath mitt in his mouth, carefully patting her face and neck, the rippling muscles of her chest and forelegs, along her shoulder, barrel, croup, dock, flank, and then down the stifle, gaskin, hock, cannon, fetlock and pastern on each of her rear legs. She whickered softly and pawed at the ground with her powerful forehoof as he squeezed the Shrek bath mitt in his mouth whenever it became completely soaked, so that his large Empress princess wife's sweat dripped across his tongue and down his throat. He wrung out her mane and tail and then licked the last little runnels of fragrant, salty perspiration from her hooves. She made some notes in her notebook and walked over to the treadmill.

"So, uh, honey," Shining Armor said, "I got some of those evil seeds. I was thinking you could like, use your alicorn princess powers to make them go get Twilight in public and like, it would be really embarassing?" He trotted after her, always a few steps behind.

"What size strapon are we using tonight?" Cadence asked, moving from a walk to an amble. Cadence didn't trot because she'd been trained to be a gaited horse, although she could perform both the piaffe and passage.

"About that," Shining Armor said as Princess Mi Amore Cadenza began to canter, "I was thinking maybe we could have like, normal sex for tonight, like, where I get to be the stallion and you get to be the mare."

Empress Cadence was running at a full gallop, her powerful hooffalls making the entire machine shake. "Huh?" she said.

"You know?" Shining Armor said, blushing, "Like, I could use my weenie maybe, like, flop it around inside you?" He held up her squeeze bottle with his unicorn magic while she took a sip, still hammering away on the treadmill. Her chest heaved and her long hair slapped against her back. Only one hoof ever touched the surface of the treatmill at any given time as the muscles slid under her slick hide, and Shining Armor could almost imagine her flying, if her her wings hadn't pressed tight up against her sides.

"We already did those love experiments," Cadence said after a few minutes, between heavy breaths. "Like, ages ago we finished all that up. I think tonight is the large size extra thick one," she said as the treadmill slowed and she let it carry her back onto the floor. "I know that one's rough on you, but you're my brave little husband and I know you'll do fine," she kissed him lightly on the cheek as he got the Shrek bath mitt out again, this time starting at her pastern and moving up her leg. "And then in the morning we can go to Ponyville with your magic seeds as a special treat for my brave little stallion for taking the whole big, mean strapon right up to the hilt!" She held her fore hoof up for him to lick. "Then, ice cream!"

Fortunately, there was a page break before anything untoward happened, and after the page break, the time and location were both different.

"So then I usually go ask all my friends what I should do, and I take all their advice very seriously," Twilight Sparkle, horse princess of Ponyville, said to Princess Celestia. It was cold out, and so both were wearing those blankets you put on horses. Twilight's had constellations on hers, and Princess Celestia's was white with her cutie mark on the back and Shrek on the front.

Princess Celestia nodded her graceful, gorgeous head. She'd decided to come to Ponyville this time with Princess Twilight horse, and maybe try to find out exactly where he former student was cocking the whole thing up. "You were the Elements of Harmony for a reason. I expect you to work together and help one another out," she said.

Applejack walked by in the background just then and said "Howdy" and waved to Princess Celestia and Twilight. Princess Celestia smiled at her and waved back, but Twilight wasn't paying any attention, and Applejack wandered off into the background from whence she came before Twilight Sparkle even saw her.

Just then black vines shot up out of the snow-covered ground, wrapping around Twilight and Princess Celestia's forelegs. Before they could do anything even more vines shot out all over, all black and waxy with big blue thorn-looking dealies on them. They entwined themselves around the horses' necks and rear legs, binding up their horns and their wings.

"Gotcha!" Shining Armor yelled, jumping out from behind the Library. Empress Mi Amore Cadenza ambled slowly out, petting Shining Armor on the head.

Then Shining Armor noticed the vines had got Celestia too. Both the mares were pressed tightly against one another, vines snaking around their horns, gripping their wings, lifting them up into the air and wrapping them up tight in a cocoon. Twilight's face was pressed against Celestia's shoulder, and Shining Armor swore he saw her tongue slip out. Celestia's neck was bent, the vines pressing her mouth against Twilight's horn.

"Oh shit!" Shining Armor said. "Oh fuck Cadence they got Celestia oh fuck! Why is Celestia here? Fuck!" More vines covered their back legs, spreading them, lifting their tails and pinning them against their backs, roving across every centimeter of exposed skin until only their faces were visible, and those were disappearing quickly behind a writhing ball of tentacles.

"I'm trying to do magic, but it's weird, it's like some other unicorn is blocking me." Shining Armor said.

"Me too," said Cadence, cocking an eyebrow at the ball of vines. "We'd better go, though. These vines should only last for a few hours. Unless they're given powerful magic to keep them alive. Even then, they'd be good for a day at most. It's a good thing nopony was anywhere near here, although I guess that makes your prank a big failure."

Strange moans were coming from the ball of vines, along with a lot of slippery wet squishing sounds. "Don't worry, Shiny," Cadence said, stroking his mane with one hoof. "The vines won't hurt them or anything. Although I didn't really expect them to be this frisky." Something squirted out of a small gap toward the rear of the vine ball.

Shining Armor groaned. "I don't guess we can still get ice cream?" he asked, looking downcast.

Empress Princess Mi Amore Cadenza tapped her hoof against her chin.

"You know what? I think we still have time for ice cream."

And if any pony would have had their ear up to the lips of both Twilight Sparkle and Shining Armor, that pony would have heard both of them say "Score."

THE END

Author's Note

This story includes all the important facts from the Season Four premiere episodes like Twilight drinking cum and the tentacle sex.

Also Cadence's bench press bar has like, doohickeys that lock onto her horsehoes so she can hold it up.

This chapter has a special guest star appearance that you may know and love.

Fourway Princest

Pink Empress Princess Pony Mi Amore Cadenza knew she was in trouble.

As flippant as she'd been when Largest Boss Horse Princess Celestia and smallest purple princess pony Twilight Sparkle were entangled by frisky tentacles, she knew that Shining Armor's prank was going to have serious repercussions. Because she was the one who actually made the frisky tentacles, and then set them up to capture horse princess Twilight Sparkle, most of the repercussions would be hers.

She sighed as she placed the gag bit in Shining Armor's mouth.

There was no point in lying to the Princess. As Largest Horse Boss of Equestria, Celestia was no foal. She'd seen it all, and probably done most of it herself. Empress Cadence slipped the crownpiece over her horse husband's ears and buckled the throatlatch as she contemplated her next course of action.

After buckling the noseband and attaching the martingale, obviously. She knew it wasn't exactly proper to train with a martingale and gag bit, but her horse prince husband absolutely could not manage to hold his head at the correct height on his own. She clipped the reins to the bit rings, and then tied them to the saddle so he'd actually be in a position that at least resembled being properly on the bit for once.

"Ten meter circle, then volte, then pessade, Shiny," she said. She was determined to get to pirouette before the end of the week, whether her horse husband liked it or not.

She kept an eye on him as she turned again to the problem with the Largest Horse Princess of Equestria. She'd have to do something. Maybe it would be easier to go through an intermediary. An intermediary that, if her suspicions were correct, would be inclined to suggest a lenient punishment for her part in the prank.

She began to compose her letter before a linebreak indicated a scene change.

Twilight Sparkle, pony horse princess of Ponyville, scanned the letter she'd just received by very private courier. Her abnormal horse brain let her read letters and other readables with exceptional speed, so it took her a fraction of the time it will take you to read the following words:

Twi Twi my numba one (1) hussy:

What up, slut? You know I'm just playin,' my street bitch! *wink* This is yo sexy sistah (in law) Cadenze and I wanna know if you can do me a solid, boo. C-lest gonna get up all in my slit about those vines and shit from the other day u kno it just me bein' me girlfriend! n e way if you could put in a good word 4 me so da p-cess ain't all up in my uterus u kno. It was an accident u kno jus doin some love speriments just bein' me u kno. n e way u know u special 2 me and I'll owe you a proper solid u help me out lil sis *wink wink* write back wiv good news ilu lil sexy! Shiny sez hi

Number 1 Thundercunt,

Cadenze

xoxoxoxo

All of the "i"s were little hearts, and there was a liberal application of glitter. Empress Cadence's signature was in some kind of puffy glitter paint.

Twilight applied her horse brain to the letters she was reading. She applied her horse brain to the problem they presented. Ever so slowly, a smile began to spread across her nice horse face, like the syrup Spike had just spilled was spreading across the kitchen tiles. Spike would never tell her about the syrup, and later on she would want some with her pancakes and not understand why it wasn't there.

There was a line break to indicate that the point of view was no longer focused on the highly abnormal horse princess Twilight Sparkle.

Magnificent mini boss horse Princess Luna of the Night stretched her long limbs, arching her back, spreading out her wings, and yawning in a potentially unPrincesslike manner. She'd just got done messing around in the dreams of one of her sister's students' young siblings. The reason she'd be doing that went something like this:

"DEAREST SISTER, WE ARE FEELING RATHER JEALOUS," Miniboss Luna said in a flashback to Largest Horse Boss Princess Celestia.

"Luna, inside voice please. Also, what exactly are you jealous of?" Celestia replied, looking over her own gorgeous butt at her sister.

"SISTER," Luna said before switching to her inside voice, "You have a star pupil and her wonderful friends as your own personal concubines-"

"They aren't my conc-" Celestia began before Luna soldiered bravely forward at an increased volume.

"But we entirely lack such students/concubines and have been repeatedly informed about the supposed impropriety-"

"Luna, they're just my student's friends," Celestia interrupted, "and my friends, and you can't go around just forcing other ponies into concubi-"

"AND SO," Luna continued, "We would like our own 'students' and 'friends." She winked in an excessively slow fashion. "And have decided to help the siblings of your 'friends' in Ponyville with any sister problems by messing around in their dreams."

"Luna I really don't-"

"The crippled pegasus too."

"Seriously Luna this isn't-"

"Thank you sister, we knew you'd understand that we are most qualified to dispense wisdom on sisterly jealousy to younger siblings!" And then mini princess horse boss Luna of Dreams flagged her tail and whickered as she trotted out of the room. Celestia rubbed her temple with her hoof and closed her eyes.

Luna flapped her wings and stretched the other way, pushing out her chest and extending her back legs. Her royal back made a few little pops, and she smacked her lips and yawned again as a guard came in with a letter. He looked vaguely uncomfortable as Luna began to preen, clearing his throat to make sure the Princess actually knew he was there as she slid each long, dark feather between her very mobile lips.

He was carrying a letter, and the second time he cleared his throat she plucked it out of his mouth with her magic, floating it slowly across the room as she finished nibbling on the tip of her last secondary covert feather. The guard yelped as her magic slapped him in what she considered to be a light, playful manner on the hindquarters to indicate to him that his services were no longer needed. He quickly fled the scene.

"From Princess Twilight Sparkle," mini boss Luna said to herself, straightening up and walking slowly from her bedroom into the solarium where her sister was just having her morning tea. The table was set for two, with an attendant filling the second cup as soon as Luna entered.

"Dear Sister," Princess Luna said as Boss Horse Celestia looked up at her, not pausing in her delicate sip, "your Faithful Student proposes a very interesting solution to both the issue of her continuing lack of Princessly Authority and the issue of appropriate action against Princess Mi Amore Cadenza of the Crystal Empire."

Celestia only raised one perfect eyebrow to indicate interest as she continued her sip, totally not making the slurpy noise.

"I am very inclined to allow her the opportunity," Princess Luna said, passing the letter to her sister as she began to sip her own cup of tea.

Princess Celestia nodded, continuing her long sip, and raised her other eyebrow to indicate increased interest as her eyes scanned the page. She set her empty teacup down and delicately smacked her lips.

"Eh, why the fuck not?" she said before the line break indicated a change of scene.

"Okay, now over there," Twilight pointed with the short whip and Princess Luna made a half-pass with perfect balance, engagement, and collection, moving near the doorway of the largest royal bedroom while keeping her large, dark eyes fixed on princess Twilight Sparkle. Twilight couldn't keep her tail from swishing up behind her, although she quickly forced it down through sheer willpower.

"And, p-Princess, just turn slightly and tail just slightly to the right," Twilight stammered as Princess Celestia performed an absolutely flawless quarter turn on the haunches, leaving her tail slightly bent away from center. Twilight could glimpse the very side of Princess Celestia's exquisite horse labia. She pressed her backside against the wall to pin her tail against her butt as she felt a trickle of fluid drip down her leg. Princess Celestia was collected and calm, looking over her shoulder at her pupil who was furiously blushing just beside the door.

"Oh, ok your majesties," Twilight said, "Any minute now."

Pretty much right after she said that, Princess Empress Mi Amore Cadenza busted through the door. She performed a very passable pesade, excepting, of course, that she waved her forehooves around. "What's up lay-dees!" she squealed, lifting up her neon green shutter shades to wink at the Royal Sister horses. When all four feet were on the ground, she turned slowly, looking for Twilight and continuing to address the room in general. "I'm kidding! You know I love you C-lest, and Luna you lookin fiiii-ine!" She gave another exaggerated wink and ran the tip of her tongue along her upper lip.

"Where's my little sister in law?" she asked, right before she spotted Twilight and used a non-canter intermediate gait to approach the smallest horse princess.

Luna's magic wrapped around Cadence's rear hooves and jerked her hindquarters straight up into the air, slamming the intermediate horse princess Empress's face into the marble floor as her front hooves skittered out from underneath her. The shutter shades bounced across the white and gold tiles and slid to a stop at Twilight's hoof. "I think I bit my thung" Cadence said just before Celestia's magic grabbed her mane, wrenching her head to the side and shoving a mullen mouth bit between her lips. The buckles were fastened with quick, expert motions as Twilight began to slowly walk toward, her, the smaller princess's tail immediately flagging. The shutter shades snapped in half under her hoof, one side spinning crazily across the tiles.

"I'm here to enforce your punishment," Twilight began, her cheeks burning. "I need to show my Lo-" She shook her head. "Mentor that I'm ready to assume my princessly duties by proving that I'm totally responsible for things." Cadence licked at the drop of blood on her bottom lip. From her vantage on the floor, she noticed several drips of moisture falling from Twilight's hindquarters. She also noticed that Twilight was looking right past her, at Celestia's eyes, or maybe her butt. Whichever really.

Twilight bent down until her lips were mere inches from Cadence's ear. "Don't worry, sister," she said, "I got your message..."

"Loud," she ran her tongue along the rim of Cadence's ear,

"And," her tongue traversed Cadence's cheek and muzzle,

"Clear," before ending on the small cut just on her bottom lip. Cadence could taste her own blood on Twilight's tongue. Like any horse that didn't have a frighteningly abnormal brain, she became very, very concerned.

Then there was a line break to show that some time had passed.

Fortunately, they were all still fucking, although a great deal of time had passed. The air was thick with the scent of horse pussy, and the pussies of all four princesses did not smell like clouds or lavender or marshmallows or whatever. They smelled like pussy. Wet, equine vagina. The distant, second place runner-up for strongest smell was sweat. Crystal Empress Mi Amore Cadenza could also smell her own blood sometimes. Currently, she could smell Medium Boss Horse Luna's asshole quite strongly, because she was forcing her tongue as far inside of it as she could on Twilight's orders.

Smallest Horse Princess Twilight was pressing her hips against Cadence's, both of their legs splayed and their horse parts rubbing together like two doughnuts trying to make out. The constant wet slurps were interspersed by noisy belches of fluid from Twilight's frequent horsgasms.

The Smallest Horse Princess of Ponyville wasn't looking at Cadence, though. Her face was pressed against Celestia's pristine white chest, Twilight's small pony hooves running very gently along Most Perfect Horse Boss Celestia's forelimbs. Twilight had a lock of Celestia's mane in her mouth, somewhat muffling her groans and screams.

Celestia herself was all perfect poise and composure. She looked down at her most abnormal student with gentle eyes as Luna massaged her glistening white pussy in slow, circular motions with a dark forehoof. Luna's head was laid across her sister's back, a faraway stare and a silly grin clearly indicating how much she enjoyed Cadence's tongue-colonoscopy. Luna's face and chest were damp with her sister's secretions and she wasn't so much preening Celestia's feathers as she was transferring girly spunk from her face onto her sister's wing. She'd repeatedly sprayed her own mare splooey all over Cadence's rather muscular neck and chest, and Cadence and Twilight's hips and crotch areas were both totally inundated in pungent horse dribble. All four bodies squeaked slightly with the motion of their sweaty flesh over the tile. It was basically going to be a total disaster for somebody else to clean up.

Twilight came again as she pressed her forehead and nose into the area where Celestia's neck met her shoulder. Her pussy belched and farted like those mud pots at Yellowstone National Park and it made little geysers of her mare goop. She'd cum so many times that she'd lost the ability to think coherently, and she cried freely and came again just a little as the smell of Celestia fully inundated her highly abnormal brain. She made a little noise like "guh" around the thick hank of celestial mane in her mouth, and in a few minutes she would slide into the blissful unconsciousness of a pleasure coma.

Luna wasn't too far behind her. The feather she'd been chewing on slipped free of Celestia's plumage and her hoof went limp as her face sort of settled into the divot on her sister's back right where her buttcheeks started.

Cadence worked her tongue free, looking rather ragged. Her flanks were covered in bright red welts and her pussy was positively battered (the reader can use either definition of "battered" depending on how they like their pussies.) A bunch of her own loose feathers were glued to her mane with various fluids, and she slumped against Luna's rump with an exhausted sigh.

Celestia looked like she always did, regal and perfect, although there was a hint of blush coloring her cheeks and also her mare vagina. She smiled kindly at Cadence.

"I guess that's that, then." she said. "You're off the hook."

Cadence wiped her mouth on a part of Luna's tail. "I got a question for you though," she said, glancing at the two passed out princesses sharing floorspace with them.

"Shoot."

"So, uh," Cadence glanced around again, "What's up with Luna and the butt stuff?"

"What's her name backwards?" Celestia said, winking slowly.

"A - N - U - L?" Cadence said, tilting her head to one side and smearing a streak of dribblings across Luna's hip.

"What would it be if her real name was Lana?" Celestia said, winking the other eye very slowly.

Cadence slowly reversed the letters in her somewhat-abnormal-but-not-nearly-as-abnormal-as-smallest-horse-princess-Twilight-Sparkle's-horse brain. "OOOOoooooh!" she said. "Is Lana her real name?"

"Not really," Celestia said, kissing Cadence on the nose.

"You know," Cadence said, "I'm glad I got to see what everypony's p-cess cunt tasted like. Because they were all different."

"Yeah," Celestia said. "Pussies are pretty awesome. I guess Twilight's pretty OK too. Maybe she'll make it as a princess after all. Although realistically I should probably just keep her around here for a while and sex her up on the downlow."

They probably did some other stuff, but the reader was forcefully inserted into a scene inhabited by Shining Armor, taking place some time later and indicated by a line break.

"Look darling! I've been practicing volte and pessade all day and I'm getting really good!" Shining Armor said around his bit as his exhausted wife stared at him through her taped-together shutter shades.

"That's great, boo boo," Cadence said, focusing mostly on the notes she was taking in her marbled notebook titled "Love Experiments." The ice pack wedged firmly between her hind legs slid down a little.

"How did your thing go?" he asked, almost actually on the bit for once as he ran through the routine again.

"They fucked the absolute shit out of me," Cadence said. "Oh, and I think your sister and Cee-Lest are straight up fucking now." She sighed and waved a forehoof in Shining Armor's general direction. "I am way, way too tired to actually ride you like the little bitch you are tonight. How bout a hoofy-jay or something?"

Under his breath, Shining Armor made the same sound that his sister made as she woke up a little and discovered she was nestled between the hooves of her sleeping mentor, Celestia. It was a little quiet horse noise that sounded like "Score."

Author's Note

I was determined to finish it before the next season came out.