Don't... Even... Blink...
One day, I was standing around my backyard at night, peacefully at night. It was a nice starry night, with the stars twinkling and the moon shining fully onto my garden. I breathed deeply, enjoying the scent and aura of the night.
Suddenly, the area behind me flashed, and I froze, staring straight ahead with my arms by my side.
"Golly, Twi, I ain't ever seen a place like this!" Sounded a southern American accent behind me. Still, I didn't move.
"Hey! There are lights in the house! Quick, stand in the shadow of that statue!" We didn't have any statues in my garden, so at first I was confused. Then, six shapes quickly converged on the space in front of me, my shadow.
They were ponies, each of differing colour and extra features, including one with a horn, two with wings, one with both, and two with neither. They were the ones talking, I quickly realised. This was big, talking ponies, so in an effort of not scaring them away I continued standing still.
Peering around my legs at my house, they muttered as they saw my grandparents and some guards, one of them taking notes and sketches. They seemed pretty excited for a bunch of animals stalking a couple of old people, but I didn't bother trying to make sense of the situation. Finally, after some time, the supposed leader spoke up.
"Alright, girls, that's enough for today. Let's go home and I'll go over my notes. We might be able to do this again!"
I was a bit sad at this. I was happily enjoying watching them giggling and having a fun time like a bunch of schools girls. Suddenly, another bright flash occurred, right in front of my eyes no less, that blinded me for a few seconds.
"Oh! Oh! Twilight, we accidentally took their statue!" Once the blots in my eyes faded, I found myself no longer at home, but in some kind laboratory. The room had dark blue wallpaper with stars mixed in, and tables were scattered everywhere covered in all sorts of globes, test tubes, strange liquids and all sorts of wonders that I couldn't even try to guess their function. Through the corner of my eye, I saw a window that showed that I seemed to be in a very high place, with a massive kingdom below and snowy mountains in the distance. Oh my.
"Oh my, so we did. Oh well, we'll just return it next time. Now come along girls, I need to thank Princess Luna for letting us use her tower."
The ponies all filed out, leaving me standing their. Still, I didn't move, the situation so bizarre to me that my mind failed to respond and give my body commands.
After thirty minutes of a mind VS body VS soul battle, the door the room opened again, this time a lone pony with a billowing night-time mane - and I mean literary night-time, it had stars, real stars, in the damn thing - and horn with wings. She walked right through the place like she owned it, and judging by the small black tiara on her head she did own the place, and waltzed up to a desk.
She looked around, a bit guiltily now, then closed the door from the other side of the room and put up a glowing blue barrier around it. No escape. Lastly, she opened what seemed to be a secret compartment and pulled out a... giant black object that glistened in the low light.
I shut my eyes, my morality not wishing to witness what was undoubtedly about to happen. Unfortunately, my ears couldn't be shut off quite so easily, and they were subject to a lot of whinny's and gasps that played with my imagination to fit the scene.
Finally after about five minutes of torture, there was a knock on the door. Opening my eyes, I saw the blue pony looking panicked until she finally landed her eyes on me. There was a flash, and something warm, wet, and big was shoved down the back of my neck. Heat started to rise in my cheeks, but I fought it back.
The opened and in walked a even bigger version of the dirty blue one. Except she was white with her billowing mane being a washed down rainbow. "Good evening dearest sister."
"H-hello, Celestia. What brings you here? To this room? Now?"
This 'Celestia' raised an eye-brow. I was just coming to ask what you though of our newest family member's experiment. But-" She stopped short, her nose twitching as she sniffed the air. "Have... have you been doing your own experiments?"
The blue one's cheeks turned purple in colour, not making eye contact with the white one. "O-Oh yes. Just a little something, I wanted. To test. I wanted to test it. With science."
During all this, I was having a great difficulty with the wet thing in my back. Being careful not to be noticed, I started a silly little wiggly dance to slowly slide the... thing... down my back, and it dropped onto the floor; quickly catching the attention of those in the room.
"Oh ho ho? Testing, my dear sister? My, that is quite a challenging test." The white one floated the thing away from me, much to my relief, and waved it in front of the blue pony. The blue one seemed to try to bury her face in the ground as to disappear from the world.
"How about, my sister, I gave you an even greater challenge?" This peaked the interest of the blue pony, and slightly horrified me. "Oh guards! Could you please give us a hoof in here?"
Nine golden and black armored guards entered the room and saluted at the other two. They were all males, I noted.
^\/^\/^\/^
Some hours later, all the ponies had left the room with wobbly legs while I tried to summon bleach. I hoped that the time to go home would arrive soon, because I was slowly starting to lose my mind. There was also the fact that my limbs were aching terribly from lack of movement for such a long time.
Luckily they had chosen to remove the smell they had left behind, and took the black thing with them.
Again I was left in the room, my body sore yet still unresponsive, and it stayed that was for a good few hours. At long last, the door opened once again. This time it was one of the original ponies, the unicorn, and she walked up to me and studied me.
After she made a gagging expression, she lifted up with by flipping magic, not that I was surprised anymore, and carried me down to a different room. "Ooh, I hope Twilight won't mind me fixing up this poor thing's style. Whatever stylist had created such horrid clothing for such a masterfully crafted statue should be ashamed!"
She brought out a long measuring tape and began taking my lengths, me still still as a statue. "Hmm, this statue matches perfectly with a female minotaurs size. Well, their new fashion season is almost upon them... Oh why not? It can't do any harm."
Once again I was subjected to a horror beyond imagination. I was stripped naked and forced to wear 'things'. One was what looked like a giant brown nappy that stuck out the front, and a tight pink vest with flowers dotting it. Another was a bikini that once again had a massive front to it and spread around my legs, pulling at them. She them started to put on wigs and hats, as well as strapped some kind of snout to my face which was then smothered in lipstick and other things.
By the end of it, several 'dresses' made been made, and I had flecks of lip gloss, eye shadow, and mascara on my face and staining some of my original clothes; which were burned in a fire place and replaced with a bright skin-tight yellow one-piece suit that was prettied with flowers and ribbons. I wanted to die.
Finally, the sun had started to peek over the mountains in the distance, and I was returned to the blue room where the other five were waiting. "Hello darlings! I may of nabbed that statue over night and cleaned him up a bit. He does look strapping, does he not?"
"Of course, Rarity, but we should really put him back now."
"Oh! But of course!"
And like that, they gathered around me in the center of the room. Another flash, and I was back home, still floating in their grasp. That placed me down, if a bit roughly, and I started to sway. The ponies gasped, but before they could stop me a toppled over, landing on the concert of a path and smashing my stony exterior.
"Oops."
"Oy!" My grandparents could be heard running outside after hearing me shatter, but they were too late, the ponies teleported away. Leaving me in a few hundred pieces.
Author's Note
Yea, first ever one shot. It's so bad...