[ 1 ] Bad Luck Jake

Chapter One – Bad Luck Jake

MEEP. MEEP. MEEP. MEEP. MEEP.

I lifted my head up off the itchy pillow and shook my head violently. My dark brown hair shifted with each shake of my head before falling back into its natural flow. My head fell back onto the old pillowcase as I looked at the wall on the far side of the room. Before I could fully wake up, I felt an annoyingly uncomfortable feel come from the depths of my mind. I hate these kinds of things. I can never really figure out what’s wrong, but you know that something just is. It’s kind of like when –

MEEP. MEEP. MEEP. MEEP. MEEP.

My alarm began to go off once again so I shifted in my bed and glared at it with the most annoyed expression that I could muster. I was hoping my all-too-serious demeanor would immediately halt the annoying screeches of the alarm, but I couldn’t hold the expression for long once I saw the digits going across it. My eyes slowly went wide and my mouth dropped open. I couldn’t believe it. I finally figured out what was wrong about this Monday morning. I haven’t even noticed the surplus amount of painful light that was flooding into my room until I was already sitting up in my bed, eyes with shock.

“… It’s… No, it can’t be," I rubbed my eyes and peered at the clock once more. "It… It’s… FUCKING 9:20?!” I shouted in utter disbelief, rattling the loose, weak furniture scattered around my dusty room. I immediately shot up onto my feet and ignored the clouds of dust that blew upwards and swirled around my knees. I went into a frenzy looking for my trusty pair of jeans. Once spotted, I dashed to them and began to slide them on. I got one leg halfway through before I slipped and tumbled onto my side and crashed into a wall.

“Yep, that felt amazing. Just awesome,” I shut my eyes and held them like so for a while, hoping to redirect the blood away from the lump that would inevitably appear. Alas, the expected lump began to form on the right side of my head. I can already feel it taking shape without even bringing a hand up to feel it. I kept the shirt that I slept in on because I was simply too late to properly get myself ready. As one could assume, I was late for work. My name is Jake; I am 24 and am 20 minutes late for work. Scratch that, 21 minutes late.

I started muttering to myself as I made my way out of my room and into the kitchen saying disappointedly, “Can’t have breakfast.” I stopped myself in front of the bathroom and looked at the door hesitantly. After pondering a certain thought for no more than a few seconds, I decided against taking a shower either. Great, I tried going to bed early last night just to wake up late this morning and be forced to skip two things that I looked forward to in every morning since moving out of my parents’ house. I zoomed out of my apartment and slammed the front door behind me, quickly making my way down the hall and towards the 16th floor’s common room.

I sprinted across the compact room and stopped right in front of the elevator. I started tapping the down button in rushed anxiety. The abused button sparked to life acknowledging my call. Naturally, I would understand that my apartment sucked a lot which means the elevator does too, but the crappy cubicle was taking all the time that it possibly could to reach my floor. What the hell happened? Yesterday it worked fine… Fucking damnit. After a solid 5 minutes of slamming the button, I knew that my elevator just wasn’t going to work for me today. I groaned in frustration and turned my attention towards a stairwell through a doorway next to the elevators.

The idea was like alcohol on an open gash, but I knew that I had to. With an aggravated sigh, I kicked off and ran to the open doorframe, well aware that I’d have to descend 16 floors. I stopped at the doorway and seriously debated whether to just wait for the elevator and make up an excuse as to why I was 4 hours late to work, or take the stairs and risk some fatal condition that’s connected to descending 16 flights of stairs. The more I pondered the thought, the more completely stupid it sounded. I dismissed that idea and started descending down the staircase three steps at a time.

This rotten building was probably built in early 1900s or something; it was horrible on multiple levels. I swear this apartment is the worst apartment in all of California. As my legs continued the descent on their own in auto-pilot, my mind began to wander to thoughts of starting a petition against apartments like this one. As I was half a flight to the 10th floor, my foot slipped on a patch of moss that was hidden on a step and I landed on my right foot awkwardly.  I heard what sounded like a disturbing tearing as my body attacked the floor in front of the 10th floor common room doorway.

Normally, when one falls, his or her eyes will shut in fear of something happening to them. To some, this is valid, to others, not so much. For me… my eyes closed shut so I didn’t know what happened during the fall. As I felt my collision with a wall steady out, I sat motionless for a few long seconds before shooting my eyes open. I looked back at my foot, which didn't seem to be bent out of shape, but the tearing noise I heard earlier was real. I knew for a fact that I heard a tearing sound right as I twisted the hell out of my ankle. Grasping my ankle, I closed my eyes, silently grieving.

I heard the awful tearing once more and winced, but realized that I hadn’t torn anything this time. My eyes scoured the tenth floor common room and landed on someone in one of the sofas, ripping what looked like mail. My fear was almost instantly replaced by confusion and then annoyance. I scowled and turned my gaze back to my foot and wobbled it around. I didn’t feel anything wrong with it, but I should probably be cautious with it just in case. I huffed and resumed my descent down the steps at a significantly slower rate, one step at a time, keeping an eye out for any more moss that could become ninjas and send me tumbling. After a whole 7 minutes or so of painfully slow descent, I made it to the lobby. The ground began to tremor slightly so I sat down patiently. Ah, it’s one of those mornings that let you know that you’re in Cali. Oh, how I just loved earthquakes. Cough cough, not really.

After the tremor subsided, I wiped away the sweat beads on my forehead before exiting the structure. Right outside the doorway into the apartment I searched for my next objective: my car. Soon enough, there it was; right in front of me hiding in plain sight. Well played car, well played. I took a deep breath and went on the incredibly long voyage to reach it, which was roughly 5 yards away. I strolled to my car like it was worth the time it took to get there and instinctively continued on to the driver’s side door and yanked on the handle. The door yielded and opened to me. Damnit, I left my car unlocked again last night. Oh well. That seemed like a regular thing for me these days. Eh, whatever. I hopped into the driver’s seat and reached for my keys, which were supposed to be in my pocket. Supposed to be…

A few long seconds went by as tumbleweed began to roll about inside the car. I checked my left pocket and then my right before melting down onto my steering wheel making sure not to accidentally sound the horn. “My keys…” I shot back up and straightened my back. “You know what? I’m done. Nope, that’s it. I’m fucking done. Nope.”

I let out an aggravated yell and turned to kick my car door open with rage fueling my muscles. Unfortunately, my car must go to the gym often because instead of the car door yielding, my leg did and so did all the rage with it. There was a sudden numbness and soon after, a shock traveled up my leg before dispersing. Defeated by my own car, I let out a sigh, but I didn’t falter. I decided to set a handicap by cracking the car door open ever so slightly. Inhale… Exhale… I adjusted myself in my seat so that I was facing the car door. I performed a slight bow like the ninjas did in the movies and brought my leg to my chest before screaming, "Fus roh DAAAH!!" and kicking my car door open. The door shot off its hinges and flew across the street jumping occasionally similar to the jumping of a rock that someone throws when they skip rocks on a lake. The window cracked and shattered to pieces as the door tumbled and rolled. The scrap of metal ended its path of cacophony and deterioration up against a newspaper booth, sending newspapers flying.

Just kidding. In all actuality, the door flew open enough to make it look “dislocated”. As if the loud crack that could be heard all the way down the street wasn’t enough, the door moaned in its currently abused state. A small part of me wished that the door really had flown across the street because the moaning of this car door was getting more and more annoying the longer I had to put up with it. A few people on the sidewalk began to notice my ordeal and stared before continuing on their paths. One of these people was Derek. Oh, thank the mighty lord of heaven and earth.

“Nice warcry. I bet kids from Nebraska will be talking all about it during lunch,” Derek kidded with a grin on his face. I couldn’t help but scoff and smile too. After the short silence he continued, “But seriously, what happened? Your car door looks like shit. What’d you do to it? And what happened to you head? That lump looks pretty vicious.”

“Umm. My car and I had a little exchange of fire.” I pointed at my pathetic limp and shrugged half-heartedly.

“Huh. What about the bump?”

“Bump?” I brought my hand up to feel the abnormality on the right side of my head, “Oh, that? I was rushing this morning and I kind of hit a wall. Sideways.”

Before Derek could make a snide joke about it, I spoke up again. “So, uh. Wanna help me out with this door?” I pointed at the awkward looking door angle. Derek probably just noticed the sound because right when I pointed to the door, he covered his ears and complained, “Damn dude, that shit’s annoying. I’ve heard babies whose cries didn’t sound this bad”

I rolled my eyes and repeated myself, “Are you going to help out or not?” Derek peeled his hands away from his ears and let out a sigh. “Sure, why not?” He casually walked past me and stood right behind the door, next to the hood of my car. I began to mobilize as well, but Derek held up a hand and stated, “You’ve fought well, Sir Jake, but this is my battle alone.” Well, I did have my battle with the car door and in all honesty, kicking the door open felt pretty awesome. “Sure thing.” Derek focused his eyes on the car door and squinted at it like the car door was some ancient rival or something. He leaned back and pivoted on his left foot while simultaneously raising his right. He then shot his right leg forward, sending his foot into the door’s metal frame. The impact dented my car deeply and swung the door shut.

I stood on the sidelines pretty impressed. Unfortunately, the moment of victory was short lived as I turn to Derek and smirked. “I think we’ve beaten my car up enough today. Either way, I’m going back up to my apartment. I’ve been screwed over too much already. Oh yea, what time is it? I kind of forgot my phone in my apartment along with my keys.” I patted my pockets to confirm my claim to Derek.

Derek nodded slowly in reply to the first half of what I said. After asking for the time, Derek halted his nodding and looked up towards the sun, not directly mind you. As if deep in thought, he gazed back to the street, looking at the shadows of random objects: poles, cars, people, etc. After what seemed like a good five minutes, Derek turned to me with the most confident look on his face, “I’ve got no idea.” My expression of anticipation was frozen on my face. “What?”

Derek put his hands on his hips and puffed out his chest. “I have no idea,” he repeated himself.

I just stood there dumbfounded. “Are you serious? What were you looking at then?!” I shouted at him, trying to scold him.

“I saw a butterfly when I looked up at the sky and followed it around with my eyes.” Derek smiled a big, toothy grin as he finished his observation.

I sighed before shrugging once more. “Eh, whatever. I wasn't going to work today anyways,”. I turned to the entrance doors of my apartment when I heard Derek’s voice behind me, “You’re not going to work? Why not? It’s such a gorgeous day to stand behind a cash register and take orders by people who’d like ‘fries with that’!”

“I don’t feel like explaining. Long story short, the day sucked so far, and I need to unwind.”

“Already? Pft, well in that case, I’m coming with you,” Derek said and began to march to my side.

“Uh, no you’re not. I’m sure you’ve got your own crap to do. As a matter of fact, what were you doing before I asked for the help?”

“Well, to be completely honest, I wasn't doing or going to do anything. I literally have this whole day off, so I decided to just walk around the city until I was bored.”

“You knew you had nothing to do today, and you decided to start walking the city… at 9 in the morning?”

Derek just gazed at me, thinking, before he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. This motherfucker had a phone, what the hell. He could’ve just told me the time. As I was thinking, I must’ve had an annoyed look on my face because Derek noticed it. “Um, Jake? Something wrong?” I simply shook my head and smiled. “Nope. Nothing at all.” That son of a …

“It’s not nine in the morning Jake. It’s almost ten.”

“Hmm, almost ten?” I nodded slowly in understanding and looked at Derek again as he hid is phone away in his pocket. “You know Derek, I’ve wasted enough time today. I’ll be in my apartment for the rest of the morning… and afternoon… and night. If you ever need me, then hit me up.” With that, I turned, and made my way into the lobby doors of my apartment and headed to the stairwell. Damn, this shit again.

“That’s a lot of stairs you got there.”

I didn’t even turn to see who was talking. “Derek… what are you doing here..?”

With a scoff Derek replied, “I already told you, Jake. I’ve got nothing to do. We might as well play Blops2 at your place if you’re going to stay in your room the rest of the day. Amirite?”

I contemplated his suggestion for a quick second before groaning, “Fine, sure. Why not, but I’m player one.”

I continued to gaze at the intimidating stairwell leading up and began to take in a few sharp breaths as I prepped myself for the immense workout this would be, “Alright Jake, you got this. It’s not too far up. Don’t be such a wuss, it’s only ten floors. You coming Derek?” Inhale. Exhale.

In between my breathing Derek replied, “Why not just take the elevator..?” Inhale. Exhale. Inhale… Exhale.

“We’re not taking the elevator, unless you’d care to waste the rest of morning waiting for it.”

“Ah, you’re so funny Jake,” Derek raised an eyebrow sarcastically and smugly strolled to the elevator and gently tapped the up button. I was too confident that the elevator wasn’t going to come down. “I’ll meet you at the top then buddy.” Inhale. Exhale. I closed my eyes and focused on my inner chi. Inhale. Exhale. I heard a small yelp and an ever so slight green glow. Before I could turn to ask Derek what had happened, a familiar sound reached my ears.

DING.

… what. I turned my head the rest of the way and looked for Derek. What the hell. Derek was no where to be found and the elevator door had reached the lobby and began opening. I didn’t know what had just taken place. Derek was nowhere to be seen and the elevator was here and open. I looked towards the lobby door and wondered if had just left for some random reason. I looked back at the elevator to see the person in question was standing inside it. The doors were open. He had one eyebrow raised and a smirk plastered onto his face. … This kid… “How the hell did you get the elevator to get down here so fast and where the hell did you go?”

“Ahaha. You sound like the elevator doesn’t work or anything.” Derek completely ignored my second question but I let that drop.

I glared at him, “That’s because it doesn’t. Dude, seriously. How’d you get it to work?”

Derek’s smile persisted and he crossed his arms. “Magic.”

“Yea, whatever.” I walked towards the elevator as the doors began to close.

“Better hurry there, Jake.”

“Just hold it open for me…”

“Eh, not sure if I’m up to doing that for ya. Your face after climbing up 16 floors worth of stairs would be priceless if it’s as I imagine it.”

“Dude…” I broke out into a run and dove at the elevator. Well, thank God that the elevator’s quality still sucked. Even though the doors took way too long to close, I still didn’t make it. Well, I halfway made it I guess. The door closed in on my torso, right under my arms. I felt the pressure of the doors close before they reopened to allow me entry

“AAAND HE’S SAFE!”

“Shut up, Derek.”

Derek smirked and held down the button with “16” on it. The doors of the elevator closed and I could feel the elevator rising. Damn, it felt faster than I thought it was. There were a few jolts and jerks on the way up which worried me slightly considering the fact that the elevator probably hasn’t traveled this fast in 20 years or so. Yes, that was a complete guess. Anyway, the elevator’s speed began to decelerate as we approached the twelfth floor where there was a heavy jolt and the elevator just stopped all together. It didn’t get taken into gravity’s grip and crash down. It just, stopped.

“… What the hell?”

“Uh, in retrospect, I’d say taking the elevator wasn’t the greatest idea.”

“Hmph. That’s why I was going to take the stairs. Nice going, Sherlock.”

“Well damn, my bad Jake. Why didn’t you tell me that something like this would’ve happened?”

“Ugh, just drop it. We’re stuck in here so we might as well try to call someone at the very least.”

Derek nodded and stared at me expectantly. "What are you looking at me for? You have the phone."

Derek continued to stare at me, but his expression changed to slight confusion, "I do?" Un. Fucking. Believable. I saw Derek pull out his phone outside in front of my apartment and now he doesn't even know he has a phone.

"It's in your pocket, dumbass." He reached for his pocket but pulled out nothing.

"Nope. No phone." I glared at Derek as my blood began to boil. Steam escaped my nostrils and I decided against kicking Derek in the face. I simply sat down in the corner of the elevator and pulled my knees to my chest. Derek, on the other hand, was still standing and was pacing back and forth

"Dude, just calm down. We’ll probably be in here for a while," I attempted to calm him.

“Yea well, when the elevator starts working again, I want to make sure that I’m up for it.”

“Whatever you say,” those were the last words I muttered before losing myself in the abyss of seductive imagination.

BOOM. pew pew. CRACK. KABOOM. pew. pew pew. BOOM. KKKSSHHH, CRASH. BOOM.

My body jolted up and my eyes shot open as the cacophony around me became unbearably deafening. I covered my ears up and waited for my head to stop throbbing from the massive explosions and war going on outside. Wait... war? I looked down at myself to see that I was still in my t-shirt and jeans, but I wasn’t inside the elevator anymore. What the hell happened and where am I. I feel like shit. I looked around me and shook my head a few times trying to dismiss the cloud of obscurity from my thoughts.

“Ugh, what the hell.” What am I doing here? Where is here?” I was looking out of a shattered window. Down below, was a massive amount of what looked like bug ponies. The more I thought about it, the more the bug ponies began to look like changelings from my favorite show, My Little Pony. I squinted as I registered this information. There were even regular ponies and guards that were running around amidst the destruction. I didn’t know what to make of it so I continued to watch with confusion, anticipation, and slight amusement.

Before long, my curiosity had brimmed and I looked behind me to take a good look at the room I was in. Huh, I could swear that this place looks familiar. I turned my body away from the window and sat cross legged on the floor gazing at the overturned pews scattered around the room and steps that led up to a large chair, probably a throne of sorts, that was overturned as well and had a few burn marks generously placed across it. I hunched my back and dropped my head into the palms of my hands.

“Where is this..? UGH.” I just couldn’t recall where I was. This was one bad case of Presque vu and it made me more annoyed with every minute that passed. Oh fuck it. I turned my attention back at the scene that was unfolding out the window. I looked at some of the buildings and a humongous maze with statues. Some of the statues still stood upright, but others lay on their sides or were broken into multiple pieces.

“Oh… I know where this is. Hmm. I’m actually inside the world of My Little Pony, of Equestria.” I looked back at the room I was in, “I must be in the castle then.” With a little more thought, I brought together two and two… and two, “I’m in the throne room!” I finally figured out my whereabouts and smiled confidently. What the hell was I doing in the throne room of Canterlot Castle? This must be some kind of dream. A really wacky dream at that. Brain, why are you doing this to me? I sighed and, once again, redirected my attention to the clamor outside. The detail of all the ponies and buildings was superb. It was to the point that I could see every strand of fur on the ponies or the sparkly shine of the guards’ armor. It was pretty intense.

“Damn, this quality is just outstanding. What kind of dream has this kind of definition?” I concluded my verbal thought as a feminine voice behind me spoke up, “Ah, hello there. Like what you see?” Huh, whoever the lady behind me was, she was pretty quiet. She entered the room without making a noise. I turned around to see Derek standing behind me with green eyes and slits for pupils. Whoa, totally not strange in any way or anything. “Um… Derek? What’s up with your eyes? And have you seen a woman in here? I heard a woman’s voice just a little bit ago.”

“You mean me?” the feminine voice came from Derek’s lips and I stood awestruck. Well, technically I sat awestruck. Anyways, back to the point: Derek was a girl? What?! When did that happen?!

“Uh, Derek. Were you always a – ”

“NO, YOU FOOL. I’M NOT DEREK. Hmph, you are a stubborn creature. Tell me, what do you call your species?”

“Wait, what? If you’re not Derek, then who are you?” I squinted at Derek’s form in disbelief but maintained eye contact. Derek’s body slowly emitted a green glow and he began to change. After the change and “Derek’s” body stopped glowing, what stood before me was the Queen of the Bug Ponies: Chrysalis.

“Aren’t you like, a villain or something?”

“Well, in the eyes of the ponies, yes. Don’t let my appearance fool you. I am not your enemy. We can be the best of allies there could be.”

“I’m not sure where to go from that. From my knowledge, you were a pretty nasty villain… Are you sure you’re not set on destroying Equestria or anything?”

Chrysalis scoffed and sneered, “Of course not. Why would I do such a thing? Equestria is where everything thrives after all.” I let up on my glare and just sat there staring at Chrysalis. It took me a few minutes to digest everything that happened since I was in this dream. Oh, that reminded me.

“Is this a dream?”

“Why, of course it is. It’s your dream. Plain and simple,” Chrysalis tried to put on her most reassuring smile, but I found it quite unconvincing. Whatever, this can’t be real anyways. Even if Chrysalis’s expression is saying this isn’t a dream, it must be. After all, I was talking to Chrysalis.

“Alright then, Chrysalis. I’m willing to become your ally during any future events that may ensue.” I tried my best to sound formal, but Chrysalis’s innocent smile twisted itself into a nasty sneer the moment the words left my lips. Her horn glowed in the same green that had enveloped Derek not too long ago. I felt a tingling sensation and what looked like a green membrane start to grow around my body.

“Um, Chrysalis, what are you doing? I thought we were allies…”

“Oh yes, we are. That’s why you’ll retain your mind and morals. Unfortunately, you are without the ability to morph. If we are going to be allies, then you’ll need to acquire that ability as soon as possible.” Without giving me a chance to respond, the green sac that I was held captive in was levitated and glued to the ceiling with what looked like glue or something in the same shade of green as the sack was.

“You’ll have to persist through the process however. It’s quite unfortunate that you must endure this.”

“Wait, what? Chrysalis… what’s going to happen? Endure what?” My eyes began to grow wide with sudden anxiety.

“You’ll be acquiring the ability to morph, like I’ve said previously. It’s just quite unfortunate that you’ll be under massive amounts of pain. If it could be done without the agony, I’d have it that way for you. Until you have fully gained the ability to morph, you’ll be under constant pain, whether it’s the sensation of having a cut, or a broken bone. You must endure it.” Without another word to her explanation, Chrysalis turned and strutted towards the door. This is just great. In my own dream, I’m captured and hung upside down from the ceiling. The Queen of the Changelings just told me that I’m going to be in a constant state of pain too. Brilliant.

"By the way, I'm human," I called after her. In acknowledgment, the Changeling Queen fluttered her wings, but nothing more.

That’s when I felt the skin on my right arm peel back, revealing the raw muscle underneath. Another minute later, I felt my left shin break. The agony was excruciatingly painful and I was fighting the urge to scream as loud as I could. Frankly, this would be a battle that'd I would lose. My spine cracked not five seconds later and I was left in an awkward fetal position. Pain was shooting throughout my body and my brain was being bombarded with pain signals from everywhere. I left a few short gasps and gulped down as much air as I could. As expected, my brain got overloaded with pain and my vision faded to black while my nerves went numb.