Melancholyby rasta-gringoChaptersBack Barreltwist Blitz Banger?Dragon FireBananas RockBack Barreltwist Blitz Banger?Chapter 1: The Back Barreltwist Blitz (Banger?) The first five things that the pony had noticed were five separate pains, one in her head, one in her left wing, one in her rump, one at the point of an odd kink in her tail, and one to her multi hued, overblown pride. The sixth thing Rainbow Dash noticed when she opened her eyes was the teeth. Perfect rectangles that obnoxiously blotted out her perfect upside down view of her training field. She knew the teeth well by now, permanently bared in a grin so wide, so tall. Pristine white, whiter than Celestia and glossier than one of Rarity’s more coveted jewels, the teeth couldn't help but shine proud almost to the point that they obscured their owner. “Hyeck hyeck hyeck hyeck,” chortled the owner of the teeth, “that was one hell of a trick. Oh, my manners! Does anypony even know what Hell is? It would be remarkably rude of me to ignore one of your world’s most splendid puns in the presence of the most daring pegasus of all time, unless you count Daring Doo, but of course you haven’t read the books yet. Ah, there I go again running my mouth, perhaps too large for it’s own good. Nevertheless I am proud to use my impressive oral cavity to attempt and convey my wonder and amazement at the feat you just performed with the sound barrier. I have never heard of anyone using it as a slingshot to be frank, and I have the pleasure of saying that you made approximately seventy two and a half back flips through the air after bouncing off of it, which not only beats my highscore by seventy four flips, it also provides the explanation as to why you are hanging upside down in a tree. Worry not, the tree is not Fluttershy.” The teeth stopped opening and closing at this moment in order to respectfully allow the confusion to settle into Rainbow Dash. The seventh thing she happened to notice was that she was in a tree... not Fluttershy... Wait one second! Why was Fluttershy a tree? Rainbow blinked in a vain attempt to restore her concentration, it took her ten seconds. “Flat,” the teeth quickly interjected. The second blink was more productive, and jolted the pegasus awake so that she could tumble out of the tree with all the style and flair that he would expect from Derpy. Ignoring the screaming muscle pains, Rainbow Dash leaped to her feet, and back to her normal level of awesomeness she mused to herself. “Well, I’m not too awe that you were in surprised by my er, warm up!” Recovering her pride and slurring her speech, Rainbow continued while the bearer of the teeth listened patiently, “and um... and I appreciate your devotion to watching me practice, daily. Even though I keep changing locations, hourly. All with the purpose of avoiding you, consistently. Don't give me that look! Twilight told me what that word means, it means reliably without self contradation. The point is... I mean who wouldn’t want to watch me constantly while I do, y’know, awesome stuff. But I still don’t know who you are notthaticare... and... HEY! The owner of the teeth had snuck his tail forward, quickly tapping each of the mare's pains away, earning the mares outburst by healing her rump. He chuckled, "Hyeck hyeck hyeck. This is becoming almost a ritual, you suffering the consequences of your athletic daring, and I put in the time to heal you. At this rate I really think you will win the competition. Unless of course the sound barrier keeps meeting you like a trampoline. Hyeck, a certain mare-friend of yours just might become roadkill. Namely, a bloody splat type of roadkill, like a white and red unicorn pancake. That probably will not occur due to your sugarbowl world. I tasted a stone around here yesterday you know. Did you know that granite tastes like tooth-break? I made up the taste after I fixed my teeth. Anyway the point is that it tasted like tooth-break and rock candy! Isn’t that neato? Oh look, a Wonderbolt! Oh no wait, thats just you not paying attention to what your stalker doctor is saying to you. No matter." Rainbow had flopped onto her miraculously healed backside, taking the chance to examine her many times healer. Beyond his teeth, he seemed to be a rodent, larger than a pony, but smaller than a manticore. It had dainty claws, longer, and more nimble than Spike’s. They emerged from the thick fur that fit the rodent all around his body like a carpet, covering all but his extremities. That tail, it was thick and strong, and at the tip it looked scaly like a rats. Was it a rat? She went with it, “so what are you, a rat?” she guessed. To her frustration, the rodent with the teeth shook its head, making its pronounced grin momentarily into a blurry band of white. “How can you know that you aren’t a rat, if you don’t even know who you are?” Rainbow felt her confidence return in full. Finally, she had cornered him. “Hyeck hyeck hyeck, you have bested me Miss Dash, but i believe you are confused. If I were a rat, that would be what I am, not who. I am sorry, but if you are looking for my identity, then you will find nothing, it is not there.” Curious now, Rainbow felt her temper fade. “Then what do I call you?” “Whatever it is you wish.” “C’mon, what do others call you?” Training was long forgotten to Rainbow now. “Treachorous wretch, curious thing, snake, depressing, vermin, cretin, furball, hairball, food, breakfast, lunch, dinner, insignificant, lonely, sinful bag of bones, the mirror’s rat, the mirror’s guard, the mirror’s sheath, the mirror, disaster, friend, companion, loathesome, lazy, the mirror’s attendant, the...” Rainbow felt her temper rise, trickling hot through her limbs and blood. What mirror was he talking about anyway? Nevermind, it was hard enough to get one straight answer out from between those teeth. “What one was your favorite?” “Melancholy.” He offered. The teeth, forever exposed beamed brighter, was this how he smiled? It seemed so to Rainbow. She could not be sure since his teeth always maintained the same prominence. The trick to his face was the eyes. “Melancholy.” she confirmed. “Melancholy,” with no sense of finality was the name spoken by its owner, more with the lightness of wonder. “Hyeck, now Rainbow, you have a name for me so perhaps it is time I help you with your trick.” He pulled a large piece of glass out of the air, opaque with a swirling vortex of blue. Rainbow was confused again, but she didn’t care. She was frozen in greedy curiosity... what was it? Shiny for one thing, maybe Magic! Twilight does magic. Unicorns do magic. Can rodents do magic? Melancholy was not in anyway typical, so it would kind of make sense. The magic on display definitely looked docile enough, though you could feel there was an edge of discord in it. She forced herself to relax, folding down the wings that had sprung up in fe... surpri... on their own.She did not even know what discord meant! "Yet," chided Melancholy. Anypony would tell you that the one and only Rainbow Dash did not know the words fear, surprise, let alone discord, unless trying to boldly declare that she did not know what the words meant. Rainbow Dash laughed at her self contradation, remembering last week fondly. Melancholy hyeck hyeck'd while he polished his piece of glass to pristine clarity with a furry sleeve. What was he laughing at? Rainbow pondered, Melancholy could not have found her thoughts funny? If he was a magic rat, he might also read minds, the possibility was no wierder than the monsters in the Everfree Forest. Melancholy hyeck'd a bit louder, and then became silent, immersing himself in his possession, like a mother preening her daughter's wings. He began to hum, and then to sing accompanied by the whistle between his teeth.. Where are you? My baby The rain iss drumming a ssad ssound. My dear babe AHm ssorry I cannot sstep upon the ground. Where are you? My baby Losst in these windss what musst I do? My dear babe AHm ssorry Just how will I return to you. Where are you? My baby I wander through my world, I’m sstuck My dear babe Ahm ssorry Fare well, I beg you sstole my luck Rainbow continued the ballad automatically. It was familiar, and dear to her. She crept closer to Melancholy, head held high and slightly crooked in order to better see the... thing. The image in the glass was turned to face her now, apparently it was clean enough for the rodent. Rushing sky and cloud whipped past beneath the glass’ surface. One spot of rainbow was fixed in the middle. This was it, the mirror! Rainbow Dash’s realization was subdued however, by her need to watch. My baby! I can see Celestia’s rays reveal you You look, like joy my babe And my love, if you only knew She looked deeper into the mirror that Melancholy had propped up against his furry body. It was beautiful and Rainbow felt her pulse rise. It was a Rainboom! Just like the one she dreamt all those years ago from her race, no, maybe not dreamt if she was seeing it again. Omigosh she looked bigger than a filly in the moving picture! Where are you? My baby. A world we share, cut by our fears My dear babe Ahm sorry Just wait, a sunny day dries tears Inside the glass she watched herself breaking the sound barrier, and letting loose the full spectrum explosion on the world. It spread and rippled unlike anything the sky could display on its own. Celestia’s day was plain. Luna’s night, was a clustered shamble, a puzzle for eggheads like Twilight to unravel with tedious diligence. The Rainboom was a single force, an event born of chance and 120% effort. Where are you? My baby. I swore not to, but that was then My dear babe Ahm sorry Sunny days gone, you’re lost again To Me She saw herself, racing against the Rainboom in her wake, pushing, and pushing. The mirror Dash could do no wrong. Where am I? My baby. You can try, I will not be found. Live strong, my babe, live long See the world, learn! You’ll see it’s round. A splash of red. The speeding sky in the mirror was almost instantly replaced with a more terrestial view of the world and halted abruptly. There was no movement. There was sky blue above, and a dab on the ground. Beside, around, inside and outside the grounded blue spot was a full spectrum of colors. A tranquil border of green grass and trees contained the tragedy inside of the mirror. Why was there so much red? It should never be more than another stripe in a rainbow mane. “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh.” Rainbow launched herself in one quick hop. She needed to leave, she needed the sky, and to leave the ground far far away. Rainbow Dash would miss her friends, she really would. Welcoming her return, it almost felt like the sky was pulling her up into its arms. On the other hand, it felt exactly like a hairy, scaly rope was pulling her back down. Bah! So this is how the rat wanted to play! The pegasi athelete drew her wings back as far as anatomy would allow. Her wing blades bunched against each other by way of toned mats of muscle. The strain was almost too much. Almost. “Trick 5! Back and Barrel Twist Blitz. Banger?” The trick was meant to involve an instant Sonic Rainboom, resulting hopefully in some sort of bang. It was a combat trick after all, bangs were useful, but uncommon. Regardless, the trick was still going to be sweet! Exhaling all of the air from her lungs, blue wings flared forward, almost tearing themselves off as they pushed Rainbow Dash back (check) explosively. Mane first, Rainbow began rotating. Originally, the idea had been to do a sort of barrel roll. After a few practice runs Rainbow had found that in close range the rolling threw her too far off course. At a longer range, well, the trick was just a glorified U-turn with spinning. No, this sort of trick needed something a little more extreme. Rainbow Dash swung her head, feeling her muscles pull, twist and bend her spine. The twisting (check) continued, her head almost at 90* farther in the rotation than her torso. Her deflated rib cage went with the motion without trouble, and finally, her hips began to twist. What had Twilight called this? Torck? The Rainbow pony was now (mostly) facing a still toothy, grinning Melancholy. Speed took hold, impact was destiny, the entire planet revolved in a blur. Her whole body was in the twisting barrel (check) roll, containing all of her power, SO much power. From three metres away, Rainbow Dash’s hoof hit Melancholy’s tooth with a definitive CLOP. Since no one was around to analyze the punch, the mirror took it upon itself to put a scale on what was occurring. RAINBOW DASH WAS ACCELERATING FROM A STATE OF REST TO A SPEED OF 9 METRES/SEC IN THE TIME FRAME OF 0.5 SEC. HER PUNCH ACCELERATED RELATIVE TO HER BODY AT A RATE OF 3 METRES/SEC/SEC. RAINBOW DASH’S ACCELERATION HAS BEEN EVALUATED TO BE 18 METRES/SEC/SEC. THE PUNCH’S ACCELERATION RELATIVE TO MY KEEPER IS 21 METRES/SEC/SEC. LET US ASSUME THAT THE PEGASUS’ MASS IS 35 KG. THE FORCE EXERTED CAN BE CALCULATED Force=Mass x Acceleration. Force = 35000G x 21 M/S Force = ouch! Melancholy hit the ground hard, momentarily crushed by his assailant as she tumbled spinning along the ground. A spiral of colour, the rainbow tail flailed in a wide circle before landing next to its owner. Rainbow noticed her tail flop a moment after the rest of her body had stopped moving, it slowly started to unwind. Torck was cool, she concluded. Really cool. Too bad there had been no rainboom to go with it. She giggled, the world felt really woozy. Giggles intensified, she was in the throes of a full blown ROGL (rolling on the grass laughing). A successful trick always made her feel better. “Rainbow Dash?” Melancholy, dropped to all fours, mirror abandoned into the void it came from. So much for feeling better the pegasus grumbled, still too woozy from the Back and Barrel Twist Blitz to openly and verbally resent her companion. “Rainbow listen, the reason I chose to show you your death is because, in a few weeks, you will attend The Best Young Flier competition, and you will recklessly complete the Sonic Rainboom in time to impress the Wonderbolts, but sadly too late to impress the ground.” His tail tucked under the ponies chin and tilted her head up from the dirt, violet eyes shimmering. “I am here to prevent that. I think my tooth is ringing.” With one final guffaw, Rainbow Dash fell asleep. NOTE: The force of Rainbow Dash’s punch exceeded 700 000J Dragon FireSonicRainboom- part 2: DRAGONFIRE The next two weeks were spent in irony. Rainbow Dash working under Melancholy’s wing. On the second day of training Melancholy had arrived at Rainbow's training field with an elastic cord. That day was spent on building explosive wing power. In other words, jump and get yanked back down into the ground. The clever rat came up with hundreds of drills like this, and he made her do them everyday. Rainbow Dash got used to the feeling of every muscle she owned being in pain. After a practice involving a big balloon ball and a party cannon an exhausted blue pegasus collapsed on the ground in front of Melancholy. He smiled down at her sweaty snout, she glared daggers at his mandibles. "This is fun for you isn't it?" Said Rainbow Dash Once again Melancholy whipped his tail forth to administer the medicinal touch. The healing itched as it spread through the mare's body. Easing the ache of exhaustion was beyond the teacher and his doctor tail. "Yess, and no." Hissed Melancholy. "The watching is fun. The thinking is fun. The anticipation is fun. The paining is less so. You may call it healing, but it is not. When I take away your pain, I must put it somewhere else." The big rat twitched its tail in the air and then let it fall in a pile behind its owner. Rainbow Dash looked at Melancholy, first in confusion, realization, then revulsion and sorrow. "I- Melancholy, I didn't..." Started Rainbow Dash. The grin stayed in place. The eyes that normally shone clouded over. Melancholy said, "A gift given to ignorance is a gift meant to depreciate. Pain is nothing compared to Nightmare, or Truth. Let us not speak of it. Fare-well Rainbow Dash, I will return in the morning." He disappeared. Like the world had blinked him away. "Thank you, featherbrain." The sky colored pony whispered. Celestia was laying her sun to rest for the day. Luna preceeded her night with a cleansing breeze. Rainbow Dash slept the night away on the same patch of field she had collapsed on. Some days Melancholy tortured Rainbow Dash. "Just let me go! Please? Listen, I can't take this any longer." "Stop being such a baby." "My wings will stop working, then what will you do?" "Move on?" "No!" Rainbow groaned. "Why can't I fly?" "Because it is important to rest, otherwise you might break yourself." Melancholy said, lending his attention back to the mirror in his lap. Claustrophobia was setting in, Rainbow shifted under Melancholy's tail. "Then can you play the song again?" Melancholy obliged and soon the air was filled with the voice of Orchestra Chord. Come here, my love, my heart. Leap the hurdles and strike down our grief I wait here, your damsel. Come and capture my heart you thief! “Now, when you hit the sound barrier, don’t actually try and smash through it. Slip through it like a blade, and then part it.” Said Melancholy. “You say that like it’s easy to even get close to the barrier, that alone drains me,” Rainbow Dash grunted and kicked at a rock. They were back on her favorite training field, together under a cloudy sky. “Yes, however reaching the sound barrier doesn’t require the precision that you need to actually execute its breaking. The Wonderbolts already know speed, the only difference between you and them will be the boom. Now....”Melancholy continued his lecture and his student let her mind canter off. The clouds were getting plump, obviously in need of a trim. Where were the other weather ponies? Those foals needed to stop relying so much on their hero. Just because I represent Loyalty! "...Dash? Rainbow Dash! Pay attention, this is important. Now, in regards to torque, the Back Barrelling Twister is one thing-" "Back Barreltwist Blitz Banger!" "'Twas more of a clop than a bang. Regardless, spinning through the sound barrier is not wise, at least on the second rainboom in history. Hit it head on, or not at all. The only thing that will break the barrier of sound is your will and that alone. Only six days left too." "But maybe the extra power will-" "Twist off your head like a bottle cap. Its a wonder you did not twist your spine apart in five places when you punched me, I think your tail and my tooth absorbed all the impact." "Ya, I was actually wondering how those bricks are so strong. I hit you really hard too, is it still ringing?" Rainbow Dash hovered above and before Melancholy, gesturing with a hoof at his grin. The student and her mentor took a moment. Filtering out the sounds of birds and wind. The tooth whined like a mosquito. Rainbow Dash was filled to the brim with pride. No one else could pack that much power in one hit. "Back to the lesson." Melancholy announced, diverting the dialogue away. The pegasus was having none of it. “Can you fly?" … The silence was awkward “Why would you ask?” Melancholy replied. … Really awkward “Wait, what? You aren’t going to expect me to believe that you can fly too! You don't have wings!” Melancholy paused where he was. Rainbow flew a few circles around him and stopped to hover inches from his toothy face. "Hyeck hyeck hyeck hyeck hyeck..." Melancholy burst out laughing. "Rainbow Dash you have NO idea!" He hopped into the air and floated there. He hung there for a moment, saying nothing. "Your looking a little wobbly there for a flying coach." Said Rainbow Dash. She held out a hoof to 'help' him, pushing him out of the air. THUD He hit the ground. "Ssix dayss left" Hissed Melancholy through his mouthful of dirt. "Geshundheit," offered Rainbow Dash. "Six days to repeat the greatest fluke in history." Melancholy brought himself up to glare at Rainbow Dash. "Hey! It wasn't-" "And you insult your coach!" continued Melancholy, bringing himself up to onto his hind paws. "It was just a-" "JOKE? I am NOT a joke." Melancholy said right before his body vanished, the world had just blinked him away. Four mirrors flashed into existence. Three around Rainbow Dash, and one directly above. "Is this supposed to scare me?" The little rainbow pony snorted, eyes shifting between the pieces of glass. Only one reflected Rainbow Dash, the one directly in front. To her left flank was a portrait of Orchestra Chord, holding two bundled baby ponies. To her right was Rarity, she wasn't moving. "No, on the contrary, you scare ME, Rainbow Dash." The mirror above contained Melancholy. Rainbow Dash kicked off the ground and smashed it, breaking open a wide road to the sky. She flashed a cocky smile and circled her training field, looking for Melancholy. "Is this a lesson?" Shouted Rainbow Dash. "You scare me because you just aren't any good Rainbow Dash." Melancholy whispered in her ear. Rainbow whipped around on the spot, not sure whether she had heard his voice or not. "Don't lie, you've seen me in action. I'll pull off the Sonic Rainboom soon, you even said so yourself." She countered at the air. "You talk and you talk, but do you know what you are missing?" Said Melancholy. "Explosions?" Melancholy hyecked from his hiding spot. Then he said, "You have six days." Rainbow Dash tread air. She called out for Melancholy, but now even his voice had vanished. All that was left was her and her training grounds. "I'll show you!" She screamed into the sky, scattering a couple of pegasi on their cozy cumulus. Training resumed alone. TWILIGHT SPARKLE Twilight stood before them. Harmonic jewelery was the set attire for the loose circle of friends. The ground was divided into the five worlds; an orchard, a road of clouds, a meadow, a candyland that gave Twilight a toothache, the last world was beautiful. In every way. Twilight was stuck in the centre of it all on a small pedestal. Her friends all gave deadpan stares, only returned by the purple unicorn. Boring! Twilight rolled her eyes to the heavens in indifference, rewarded immediately with the view. Interesting. The sky had been replaced with a continental piece of glass. Irresistible longing hit Twilight, taking over her hoof and lifting it above her head. Oh! Closer than I thought. Her hoof penetrated the surface and sent ripples through the faint reflections of the five worlds, mixing wisps of each. Back in the worlds, Applejack had lost some apples in Rarity's world, the diva reacted by adding glimmer to the apples. Her eyes sparkled, ivory horn glowed. With a one sided giggle Rarity glimmered all of the orchard. Applejack's distress was audible, but nonsensical. Twilight watched from her pedestal. Clouds replaced patches of meadow, a bunny fell through one of the foggy patches. Fluttershy had her face hidden in her hooves while Rainbow Dash maneuvered herself through a storm of candy. Mint looks cold. But where was the smoke from? Violet eyes led the head as it turned to investigate candyland. Pinkie Pie was drooling and had started writing notes in frosting. She kept jerking her head in the direction of Rainbow Dash, or was it Fluttershy? Twilight Sparkle discovered that she did not actually care, the smoke had been coming from the glass. She looked into her new sky, and saw the image of her library, with- "FIRE!" Twilight screamed herself awake. Of all the perils! She was a librarian in a library a library for Celestia's sake! Libraries are flammable! Well, not stone ones... no those too, unless the books were all stone as well. It might be nice to read off of tablets, maybe Twilight would 'recieve' orders from Celestia to investigate some ruins in- -FIRE! Or just smoke. If it was just smoke she was smelling then it might all be ok. "Ssmoke meanss fire." A melancholy voice added, almost a whisper. Twilight bolted to her dresser, "where is it where is it?" Library was a tree filled with paper. Trees are not fireproof, books were made of paper was made of trees are not fireproof. Why did she have to like reading by candlelight? Besides the light, warmth, ambiance. Facehoof. Focus Sparkle, first things first! Where was her list of emergency checklists? No, action first! That means that she would need a checklist of emergency actions! But she didn't have one, could she make one in time? She started ruffling through her desk with renewed vigor. "Spike, where is the checklist of things I need to create a checklist?" When she did not receive an answer, Twilight took her first look at her smoke filled room. Her bed was fine, her bookshelf was fine but in DANGER! A quick purple hoof punched Twilight in the mouth to stop herself from re-initiating the yelling. Back to her list! Right, where is the checklist of things that I need to-... Twilight felt the gears in her head start turning, she narrowed her eyes and glared at the floor in concentration. There was something important about the floor. Scratch marks from a little dragon, books, carpet, all check. Baby dragon in his bed? Zilch, just a pile of smouldering garbage. In the far corner of the room were two piles of books, impeccably divided by relative age and... “Oh my gosh I must be tired, there’s no fire! It’s just a pile of smoking- What are ashes made of?” Twilight had not meant to speak aloud, but she was not paying attention anymore. Her entire focus was now on the baby dragon’s bed, filled with black and grey soot. From paper? Twilight felt her ears flop, they wobbled pathetically to the sides of her face when she blinked away a tear. The librarian crept over to Spike's bed. Her head was craned low as if to collect the burnt crumbs of knowledge. Her face was hot, like her head had become a teapot. Was that actually steam in my ear? Twilight thought. "That dragon has no common sense does he? Well he IS a baby so you are not allowed to be mad at him." More melancholic whispering penetrated Twilight's conscious. She ignored it, probably nothing. Yet the voice continued, "at least it was just books!" Twilight's ears jumped. "There is no such thing as JUST a book! Each one carries a message, a private faucet for valuable information to any reader in need. They are all that may be left for the the next generation. And every author put their very soul into every consonant." "How many souls are there in the dragon's nest of ashes?" Said the melancholy. Twilight stuffed her mouth with hoof before she started screaming. Some of it escaped in a squeak. the rest escaped as a roar. "SPIKE! SPiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiike? What is the meaning of this?! Spike WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?" Why had the dragon been sleeping among her books in the first place? He knew he had snoring problems. Twilight sifted through the ashes, looking for something, anything to salvage. Dust and smoke tickled her throat but she persevered. The distinctive rustle of a hoof and page sang out to the unicorn. Magic pounced, cradling the page into the air to be avenged by Twilight's teary eyes. When she was done she floated the page over to her dresser. Breathe in. Open the window to dispel the smoke. Breathe out. Open the door, and leave the room. Breathe in. The purple unicorn trotted down through the tree. Breathe out. Acting as her tail, the generous melancholy whispered hints to Spike's location, as well as inserting quips about inconsiderate and destructive baby dragons. Breathe in. Cross the library. Breathe in. Twilight opened the door, and through the haze of rage surrounding her found Spike sitting forlorn on the step. Breathe in. "SPIKE. What do you have to say for yourself." Twilight shook under her self-restraint. "What are you talking about? I was dusting and then you used your magic, it was purple so I know it was you so don't deny it. You used your magic to push me out the door and then you locked it!" Spike returned, his voice waivered between a foalish whimper and dragon's growl. "Don't lie Spike! My magic is magenta," Twilight resumed, not caring that she had been refraining breathing. "What am I going to do with you? I can't even tell what books you destroyed!" Stomp. "I am so angry I could SPIT! But I won't because I am no-not-nice- neanderthalic-nuisance like yourself, and you know what Spike? Ptooie! There, I spat!" "Hey! Stop. I don't even know..." Spike paused to sidestep the spittle projectile. "That's just nasty Twi." "And then you just left them SMOULDERING in a pile, I nearly suffocated, and what if you set the whole library on fire! You KNOW it's a tree right?" "When was there a fire? I left you in your room ten minutes ago! And stop spitting." Spike wiped a gob of gross goo off of his scales. "Then I don't know what's worse, you trying to burn down my library; or that you burned my books, ran away from the scene of the crime; or that you could not even come up with a decent alibi! I thought I taught you better. Hraaaaaagggghh PTOOIE." Ponies were poking their muzzles out of doorways and windows, always eager to see a show. Spike intended to keep them dissatisfied. Based on the sizzle of phlegm on his forehead, Spike realized that the show was inevitable. Twilight was getting a lot of volume, she was learning! Mustering control over his wavering voice, Spike stared down his big sister. "Twilight please." It looked like he was going to be cut off again, but the angry unicorn was reaping the consequences of oxygen deprivation, and could only breathe and fume at the moment. "Twilight, I am sorry. I do not know what happened to your books, I can even clean them up for you again. Just please, let's go ins..." "Do you think I am stupid Spike?" "Of course not but-" "Because I know dragon fire when I see it. I KNOW you are lying, but I just can't believe it. I thought I was a good sister, I thought that I was good to you." There was a lot of sniffling, and full blown tears were forming a puddle on the ground. Twilight looked down at the dragon through the tears. "Are you OK Spike, you look a little er... Sick?" Twilight said. The baby dragon was sweating, and there was a trickle of smoke from one of his nostrils. She did not notice the voice of melancholy leave. She did not notice the green and brown pony appear beside her. She did notice the colt's battle cry. "HOLD ON I'M READY!" He shouted. Wrapping a hoof around Twilight and a hoof around Spike the new pony dragged the ensemble into the library. Quick as lightning he pulled a clump of green stuff out of his satchel, laid the dragon on the floor and stuffed his hoof, green stuff and all into Spike's maw. BOMPF Smoke filled the room instantly, leaving every pony in a coughing fit. The new pony was the first to recover and started talking immediately and enthusiastically. "Whew! Isn't this just fantastic!? It's hard to find a controlled flame here in Equestria, but then I finally remembered that Spike could do fire. I can too, but only sometimes..." Between hearty coughs Twilight tried standing, found it impossible, gave up, and settled on sitting What was with this smoke? It was thick, and smelled almost familiar. She saw Spike sit up, last to recover. He shook his head and labored up onto his feet. "Thanks a lot!" Spike said before stopping to begin the coughing anew. "You really saved us back there (coughing) I'm Spike, who are you?" Twilight was still having a fit. She was able to glance at the new pony but missed his name. His coat matched the brown tree bark of her home, making her squint for more definition. He was a colt a little shorter than her, and she decided right away that his mane was cool. It reminded her of fat pine needle hued caterpillars, or ropes that stuck out and fell down to frame his ecstatic dark chocolate eyes. He was still talking, as if there was too much to say. Something about inter dimensional damage control. She tried to make out the orange and black cutie mark but the colt was too busy bounding through his smokey clouds and chattering away about, what was that? Who was Mendel? Why peas? And just WHAT was so intriguing about her tail? She twitched it behind her, making the hairs swish. Swishy swishy swishy she continued in fantastic merriment. If Mendel was close, he might have some more of those peas. Coughing ceased; Twilight's mind wandered to important things, like her stomach that grumbled with approval at the thought of peas. If she got a hold of Mendel's peas would she separate them based on their phenotypes? Would she have to share? Had she forgotten to introduce herself? Peas? In an effort to correct the situation Twilight spoke, "Hi, my name ish..." The new pony came to a stop nose to nose with Twilight and asked, "What?" The purple unicorn leaned back onto her haunches surprised. One hoof down to support her, the other brought up to her chest as she continued, "My name is..." "Who?" "my name is..." Spike resumed coughing for a moment. "Twilight Sparkle." she finished. The hornless-wingless-must-be-an-earth pony bounced back into his clouds, laughing. "I am honored Twilight Sparkle, I am Pottasches." Melancholy arrived at the gates of Canterlot. Bananas Rock3 Days Before Sonic Rainboom Money. Bits. Wealth. Fortune. Any pony can get swept into the powerful tide of cash. It had an overpowering allure. Because money means food, money means fun, and shelter. Money means life. Octavia was a chaser of money. She measured her days in money. She measured her years in money. It rained down on others, and Octavia would collect the runoff. She would measure that too. As much as her world wound itself around money. There was one thing that she could not measure, at least not in money or magnitude. Maintaining a mask of professionalism, Octavia drew her bow. It smoothly resisted the strings on her cello. The resulting note hung in the air, balanced only by concentration and practice. Octavia closed her eyes, waiting. After precisely seven beats she flourished her bow and ended the bar with a sharper note. Statuesque, the grey pony held the pose for a count of 1 and a 2 and a 3 and a 4 before starting the next piece. Octavia was not stalled by shuffling pages, memorizing each song she played came naturally. This one was a waltz called Merry Mare, one of her more practiced pieces. Octavia's eyes glazed over. Her audience at the moment was the Princess, holder of court in the sun, Celestia. There was one other pony, but he was ignoring Octavia and her music. Apparently there was not enough hair dye imports in Hoofington. Melancholy whispered in her ear, "Celestia doesn't even notice you!" Octavia looked left and right. There was no pony around her. But the voice was right. Celestia and her subject were in a heated debate about a contaminated vat of purple. "They aren't being very considerate, your music is beautiful, and should be savored." Continued Melancholy. Octavia nodded. Her hooves slipped slightly against the cello, and she lost a note fumbling over the instrument. "Poor girl, you're shaking. You must have been here for hours. I'm sure Celestia won't banish you for taking a break." The grey mare continued playing alone to the very end of the piece. And for the first time that day, stopped. She stood stock still for seconds, looking expectantly at Celestia from across the hall. The alicorn paid her no heed. Instead Celestia rose and began speaking. “Dye R. Lint, I have heard you suggestions and respect your opinion. Of course your need for hair dye is on my list of priorities.” Yellow magic aura levitated a scroll into the air. Octavia ground her teeth and made a face. Melancholy whispered in her ear, “Your face will get stuck like that. It’s true! Not necessarily bad, looking angry can get you through more situations than you may think. But as for courting ponies, you may struggle a bit.” Octavia unclenched her jaw the tiniest amount. The scroll Celestia was holding up was unrolling, to the floor, then down the steps it bounced. It tumbled to a stop, ending at Dye R. Lint’s hooves. Lint scrolled down the list, starting with the illegible runes next to Celestia. As his gaze followed the list to it’s end he started reading aloud what he could make out. “ “Um... Reply to Twilight Sparkle expressing pride... Practice the condescending chuckle... Get revenge on Luna for the taffy... this can’t be right, Get the oil chained? I don’t get it. Gosh this list is long your majesty! Untie guards within two days, why are there four tallies next to that?” Celestia chuckled, but did not say anything. Instead she waved her hoof, signaling to proceed. Lint continued, “Feed the parasprites... This one is crossed out but it says, put up pro-griffon propaganda. Why? Skip, skip, skip. Sneak a rave into Luna’s quarters, and... AHA Compassionately tell Dye R. Lint to... Celestia! That is ru- fair! Fair, everything is fine.” Lint backed out of the room slowly, staring only at the last item on the list. His eyes were wide and wild. Right before the doors shut, Octavia noticed something. Lint’s cutie mark was changing! His flanks were engulfed in yellow magic, he didn’t even notice, but he was now adorned with a bucket of paint. The door closed behind him. Octavia noticed that her jaw had dropped. She corrected it, but bit on her tongue. Her mouth reverted back to its open state, except now her tongue lolled out over her teeth. “Next pony.” Commanded Celestia. There were two exits to the hall. Peasant ponies came through the large golden door. The other door was beside, and down the stairs from the throne. Octavia sighed. “No escape huh?” whispered Melancholy. This time Octavia was ready for the voice. She kicked a hoof straight backwards and with queezy satisfaction felt the strike connect with something furry. Quickly she hefted the cello onto its stand and circled around on the voice. “Monkey?” Said Octavia. She looked down at the toothy creature. “ew...” “You could call me monkey. I would prefer to be called Melancholy.” Said he. “Talking?” Said Octavia, her head was spinning. “Violent!” Retorted Melancholy. “Ugly!” Octavia returned. “You have me there,” conceded Melancholy. “Are you, are you a pony?” Asked Octavia, she took a step back. “Are you?” “Of course I am!” Said Octavia, hushing her outburst. Celestia was busy with the next peasant so she was still safe. Melancholy reached out and poked Octavia in the chest. She staggered back with her forehooves wheeling. She squeaked and dropped to the floor, just touching the tile with her belly. “That’s better! You do not look too pony like on two hooves.” Melancholy said. “Just do me a favor, and stop smiling like that. It’s gross.” Hissed Octavia. “Can’t help it. What are you doing here?” Countered Melancholy. Octavia was taken aback by the question. “I- I’m a musician of course.” She answered “What is a magician doing here?” “Playing music.” Answered Octavia before, “Wait, I didn’t say magi-” “No you are not.” Melancholy interrupted. “I was!” Octavia said. “You were, what about now?” “Wasting my time talking to a monkey.” Octavia muttered. She could feel her forehead crease. It was making her cranky. “My name is Melancholy.” “My name is Octavia.” “My name is Hors d’Prix!” Announced the newest pony to Celestia’s hall. “I am concerned, your Majesty. The commoners are lobbying for more bits! This is outrageous!” “Uuhh huh...” Replied Celestia. Octavia grabbed Melancholy and pulled him further into the shadows of the musicians’ corner. There was a struggle, Octavia found herself wrapped around Melancholy’s face and his tail looping around her, trying to pull her off. Hors d’Prix continued his capitalist rant, “...can only guess that their final goal is to usurp the foundation of all we hold dear!” “Whore, may I ask one thing.” Said Celestia softly. Octavia started praying in Melancholy’s ear. “Not bananas, not bananas, not bananas, not bananas...” She prayed this way for every pony. Just in case. “Bananas rock?” Asked Melancholy, muffled by the dark tail in his mouth. Octavia rolled her eyes. Celestia continued in her soft voice. “Who is this, we, of which you speak.” “I meant of course, the Equestrian elite. Wealthy merchants, political powers, protectors of the peace. Honestly, if we didn’t keep all of the money who knows what ponies would do with it.” Octavia switched prayers. “Bananas, bananas, bananas, please oh please bananas! Or an anvil.” She continued praying even as Melancholy lifted her off of him. With a flourish of his wrist, Melancholy pulled out a large glass oval. He set it against himself, reflecting Octavia back on herself. She squirmed against the tail. Hors d’Prix continued, “It’s ponies like you and I, Your Majesty, that...” “I or you? What do we do, exactly?” Called Celestia. Her voice was no longer meek, but a force that resounded in the hall. “Wish into the mirror Octavia!” Whispered Melancholy. “No!” She hissed back. “We keep the poor in their place of course!” Proclaimed Hors d’Prix. Octavia stopped squirming. “As for those amongst us that are... less talented. I believe they already know their place.” Said Hors d’Prix. His horn was glowing. “I wish...” “Is that all?” Called Celestia, her face was deadpan, unreadable. “Well, I was going to propose a protesters tax, just to chain them down. And perhaps conscript all of the earth ponies to the fields.” “Is that ALL?” Said Celestia. With her voice dropping in pitch rapidly Octavia repeated, “I wish...” “Go on, go on!” Chided Melancholy. “And it is about time that we abolished the whole, ‘earth ponies raising special races thing’. I am sure you realize how sickening it is. We have to make sure that pegasi and unicorns are cared for by intelligent people.” Celestia stood up, “You said your name was Whore correct? capital W? Well I assure you that I have taken your bigoted whining into due consideration. Leave my hall.” Her deadpan mask slipped, revealing that even an immortal sun can show pity. Octavia looked from the mirror, to Celestia. She had been the musician for Celestia for a long time. Back in the days when she was quarter a quartet. Celestia was a kind ruler. That was a given. But Octavia knew even better. Celestia could be nothing but kind. Even when she turned them away like with Lint, she always had a mutually profitable plan. Octavia suspected that after the initial shock, Lint would be overjoyed at his new special talent. Celestia would never go along with the whims of a pony like Hors d’Prix. But her fangs were dull. She would not punish him. Or she would try, and it would be an effective punishment surely. But the punishment would be too lenient, Hors d’Prix was too bad, Octavia was too offended, for him to be let off with something as asinine as... “And I decree that you will pay a fine of 500 bits for wasting other ponies’ time!” Shouted Celestia. What was that! A fine!? Octavia herself would be able to afford that! And so she wished. Octavia wished a dreadful wish. She stared into the mirror. It reflected her upon herself, so she could watch her lips shape each syllable. Her purple eyes looked so vacant in the mirror. But there was fire there. “I wish for one shred of satisfaction. I wish for poetic justice. I wish for the good of me, and for the good of all ponies repressed by bits. I wish for extreme punishment. Not just extreme, I want punishment that would be overboard for the worst pony that ever has or will walk, in or out of Equestria. I wish for, the Banana Bag!” Melancholy winced, “That wasn’t quite what I had in mind...” The Banana Bag dropped. So did Octavia. Safe to say, she had been bested in gymnastics. Octavia had seen it only once. It was after the Princess, Luna returned. Celestia had been having a good week, and her style of rule changed drastically. First, she had lapsed into pranks, dropping the sun on random pony houses. Then, she had brought her shenanigans to the same hall that Octavia was hiding in now. She launched 28 ponies to the moon that day. Thank goodness they were mostly unicorns. Everyone in the hall, hidden or otherwise stared at the bag. Celestia grew a crooked smile. Hors d’Prix was mumbling something about a misunderstanding. Melancholy let go of Octavia and watched eagerly, grinning. Octavia stood up, automatically balancing herself. “So... Whore, would you like a banana?” Said Celestia, working each word in her mouth like savory candy. “Sure, does this mean I am forgiven?” Said Hors d’Prix. “Wait, wait, wait! What is the rush Whore, I just wanna clarify something real quick.” Said Celestia. “My name isn’t-” “Am I correct that you are mmmmwhoreymmmmm who likes mmmmmmbananas?” “Well, I do enjoy a good banana. Are they imported?” “You are a Whore who likes Bananas?!” Jeered Celestia from her throne. As this was going on, Melancholy turned to Octavia and asked, “The Banana Bag exists?” Octavia nodded eyes locked on Whore de Pee, as she now knew him as. “ON THE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNAAAH AHAHAHA. Hahaha, ooooohhh. Next pony.” “Next pony?” Melancholy asked to no pony in particular. “Oops.” Said Octavia. “This isn’t good!” Hissed Melancholy, “I cannot believe after all my efforts.” The next pony entered the hall. “This is your fault, fix it.” Octavia made to return to her cello. “Ah ah ah,” Melancholy took Octavia in his tail and dragged her back to him. The mirror rewound and played a familiar scene. Octavia was at a loss for words. “You made the wish. I honestly thought that you wanted to leave this place, but you wasted it!” Said Melancholy. “Well I take it back, let me wish for something else.” Octavia said while averting her gaze from the mirror. “Do you have ears? I said wasted! Destroyed, lost, abused, thrown away etcetera.” Melancholy said under his breath. Octavia wheezed, “Can you at least stop squeezing me?” Then, “Whew, thanks. Now if you will excuse me, I have to try and run for my life.” She started to gallop. “Celestia can obviously see the door, you would need to be more than invisible to make it out of here that way.” Said Melancholy. Octavia was still galloping, and frothing at the mouth. “I do not care, monkey! She can’t catch me if I become a griffon!” “Yes, sh...” “I’ll go to um... Aquileopia? Yes, and I will be a griffon, and I will make money by staying at a zoo. They will all love me there, I can brush my mane and they will be all like: ‘whoa! she has a mane’. I’ll play it cool, and be all like: ‘ya huh’, and then they will all squee and throw dead rabbits at me, so I will have to tell them to bring popcorn next time. It will be perfect!” “Would that require me to let you down?” Asked Melancholy Octavia looked down to see her hooves treading air. “...On the MOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAOOOONNNNNNNNNAAAHHHHHH!” “I’ll be fine.” Said Octavia, and she returned to her stationary escape. “As you are now, you are obviously a liability to my cause...” Said Melancholy. “Yes, lemme go!” “And I am running out of time...” Continued Melancholy. “Aren’t we all, haha.” “So I might have to make you my thrall...” Melancholy said, and with a sweep of his claw, cleared the mirror. “Sounds wonderful.” Octavia had not let her eyes leave the door. “I am so glad that we are in agreement, or perhaps you are an airhead. Let us begin the contract.” Melancholy bit his claw, and allowed a single drop of blood to hit the surface of the mirror. “Now if you could please make yourself bleed a little bit.” Octavia said nothing. “Just a drop is all. You see, the mirror is demanding sacrifice for you to use it again.” Said Melancholy, he held the mirror up beside Octavia. She took no notice. “My goodness, you have jumped off of the deep end have you not?” He shook Octavia gently, then a little more forcefully. Years of standing must have made her core rock solid because she just kept galloping. Drip. One drop of sweat, a glimmering pearl struck the mirror. “Perfect.” Breathed Melancholy. “MOOOOOOAAAAAAAAOOOOOONNNNNNNNNAAH!” “Now calm down!” Said Melancholy. He kept his voice low without losing the urgency. He tightened his grip on Octavia, and she slowed down her frantic galloping. She was held there long enough for another pony to be sent to the moon. Long enough that she stopped moving almost entirely, save for ragged breathing. “You have one more chance. One more wish.” Melancholy told the grey mare. He still had her off of the ground, just in case. Octavia opened her mouth. Melancholy stuck the end of his tail in it. “Ag geeg eguf gegtai oo gow ger gish ish goig.” “I will not have you waste another wish. Think carefully now.” Melancholy said. He removed his tail. “Gah! That was disgusting.” Whispered Octavia in the angriest voice she could whisper. “Even so. Would you like some help?” Offered Melancholy. Octavia did not say yes. A brown and green pony appeared in the mirror. “Whoa! Hi Octavia.” The pony waved. Octavia waved back with less enthusiasm. To be specific, no enthusiasm at all. He continued, “How’d you find this mirror?” Octavia looked at Melancholy, he was shaking his head furiously. “I need help making a wish.” She replied simply. “Easy, wish for world peace.” The pony smiled. Octavia groaned, so he continued, “Well if that won’t float your boat, try super powers. Now, about this...” “What kind of super power?” Asked Octavia eagerly. Why had she not thought of that. “Freeze ray? Dunno, you might want to settle for something small, the bigger the wish, the more the mirror will control you.” “The mirror will control...” “You, yes.” Octavia, the mirror pony, and Melancholy all paused. Melancholy was focused on his claw at the moment, to busy concentrating to speak. Octavia glared at the mirror’s keeper with venom. “I take it that you don’t want that.” Said the mirror pony. “Of course I don’t. I want to cancel the wish.” “Sorry, it doesn’t work that way.” Melancholy nodded at the mirror pony’s reply. “Then what! I’m going to be sent to the moon and I’m going to serve this mirror for the rest of days?” Octavia squeaked. As is to punctuate her speech Celestia sent another pony to the moon. “Horseapples! Why does Celestia have the Banana Bag?” Demanded the mirror pony. “IT’S NOT MY FAULT!” Screamed Octavia. “Octavia no!” Hissed Melancholy, too late. “I don’t think you should have shouted just now.” Said the mirror pony. Yellow aura picked Octavia, Melancholy, and the mirror into the air. The mirror pony vanished. Ever so slowly, Octavia saw the floor pass beneath her, taking her to Celestia. She turned her face away from the alicorn. Maybe the anonymity would buy her some time. This is it. This is where the bits had led her. To be trapped in the clutches of the tyrant who paid her. Goodbye cruel world. Clink Octavia’s ears twitched. What? The mirror had fallen from the air. She could see that yellow aura was still yanking at it, but it resisted, it was immune. “I know my wish!” She hushed. Melancholy beside her was quick on the uptake. He extended his tail without explanation, and snagged the mirror from the ground. He brought it to face Octavia. His face was a grin, it had always been a grin. Now Octavia noticed that in his eyes, there was a warning. Be careful. “I...” Octavia began. She could see that she was rising past the steps now. “Wish to be...” The aura began to spin her around, bringing her to face Celestia. “Like you mirror!” She had to crane her neck to maintain eye contact with her reflection. Melancholy hyecked. Octavia slipped out of her magic binds and dropped to the floor at Celestia’s hooves. She wasted no time, Octavia attacked. The Banana Bag was a worthy foe. Octavia struggled to push its large mass off the side of the throne. It fell to ruin below. The grey mare whinnied her triumph to the hall. She turned around. “Oh right, that.” That, was an alicorn. That, was a very rich powerful alicorn. That, was the pony with the political power of everlasting monarch. That, was the pony that did not even need political power because, that, could torch the planet as easily as the sunset she had performed countless times. That was her real opponent, the unapproachable, undisputed overlord of the entire known world. That was the tyrant Celestia. More importantly, that, did not look like good intentions on that royal face. That look in her eyes, was laughter. That, was scary. Because that smile, was not laughter. That smile was malice. That, was not a good combination. That, is why Octavia did not want to stick around. Octavia soon realized that all powerful tyrants did not need magic or guards to hold her in place. Fear would suffice. The grey pony looked around for Melancholy. He was slinking out the door. Perhaps he wasn’t a monkey. Melancholy was a rat. “I will have a talk with him later. So...” Said Celestia coolly. Octavia shivered. Yellow aura plucked at her coat. “Magic is useless on you? That is wonderful!” Cheered Celestia, her eyes rolled up and to the side. Octavia remained paralyzed. She could not think, she could not breathe. She knew she was being toyed with. “Please pray tell how you are doing that.” Tyrant Celestia continued. “This was Melancholy’s doing?” Octavia squeaked. The squeak snowballed on itself, it became a squeal. A whine, a note, a voice, a slightly louder voice, a shout escaped Octavia. “Oopsie, did I break you?” Tyrant Celestia pouted. That, got a mouthful of Octavia’s left hoof.
Back Barreltwist Blitz Banger?Chapter 1: The Back Barreltwist Blitz (Banger?) The first five things that the pony had noticed were five separate pains, one in her head, one in her left wing, one in her rump, one at the point of an odd kink in her tail, and one to her multi hued, overblown pride. The sixth thing Rainbow Dash noticed when she opened her eyes was the teeth. Perfect rectangles that obnoxiously blotted out her perfect upside down view of her training field. She knew the teeth well by now, permanently bared in a grin so wide, so tall. Pristine white, whiter than Celestia and glossier than one of Rarity’s more coveted jewels, the teeth couldn't help but shine proud almost to the point that they obscured their owner. “Hyeck hyeck hyeck hyeck,” chortled the owner of the teeth, “that was one hell of a trick. Oh, my manners! Does anypony even know what Hell is? It would be remarkably rude of me to ignore one of your world’s most splendid puns in the presence of the most daring pegasus of all time, unless you count Daring Doo, but of course you haven’t read the books yet. Ah, there I go again running my mouth, perhaps too large for it’s own good. Nevertheless I am proud to use my impressive oral cavity to attempt and convey my wonder and amazement at the feat you just performed with the sound barrier. I have never heard of anyone using it as a slingshot to be frank, and I have the pleasure of saying that you made approximately seventy two and a half back flips through the air after bouncing off of it, which not only beats my highscore by seventy four flips, it also provides the explanation as to why you are hanging upside down in a tree. Worry not, the tree is not Fluttershy.” The teeth stopped opening and closing at this moment in order to respectfully allow the confusion to settle into Rainbow Dash. The seventh thing she happened to notice was that she was in a tree... not Fluttershy... Wait one second! Why was Fluttershy a tree? Rainbow blinked in a vain attempt to restore her concentration, it took her ten seconds. “Flat,” the teeth quickly interjected. The second blink was more productive, and jolted the pegasus awake so that she could tumble out of the tree with all the style and flair that he would expect from Derpy. Ignoring the screaming muscle pains, Rainbow Dash leaped to her feet, and back to her normal level of awesomeness she mused to herself. “Well, I’m not too awe that you were in surprised by my er, warm up!” Recovering her pride and slurring her speech, Rainbow continued while the bearer of the teeth listened patiently, “and um... and I appreciate your devotion to watching me practice, daily. Even though I keep changing locations, hourly. All with the purpose of avoiding you, consistently. Don't give me that look! Twilight told me what that word means, it means reliably without self contradation. The point is... I mean who wouldn’t want to watch me constantly while I do, y’know, awesome stuff. But I still don’t know who you are notthaticare... and... HEY! The owner of the teeth had snuck his tail forward, quickly tapping each of the mare's pains away, earning the mares outburst by healing her rump. He chuckled, "Hyeck hyeck hyeck. This is becoming almost a ritual, you suffering the consequences of your athletic daring, and I put in the time to heal you. At this rate I really think you will win the competition. Unless of course the sound barrier keeps meeting you like a trampoline. Hyeck, a certain mare-friend of yours just might become roadkill. Namely, a bloody splat type of roadkill, like a white and red unicorn pancake. That probably will not occur due to your sugarbowl world. I tasted a stone around here yesterday you know. Did you know that granite tastes like tooth-break? I made up the taste after I fixed my teeth. Anyway the point is that it tasted like tooth-break and rock candy! Isn’t that neato? Oh look, a Wonderbolt! Oh no wait, thats just you not paying attention to what your stalker doctor is saying to you. No matter." Rainbow had flopped onto her miraculously healed backside, taking the chance to examine her many times healer. Beyond his teeth, he seemed to be a rodent, larger than a pony, but smaller than a manticore. It had dainty claws, longer, and more nimble than Spike’s. They emerged from the thick fur that fit the rodent all around his body like a carpet, covering all but his extremities. That tail, it was thick and strong, and at the tip it looked scaly like a rats. Was it a rat? She went with it, “so what are you, a rat?” she guessed. To her frustration, the rodent with the teeth shook its head, making its pronounced grin momentarily into a blurry band of white. “How can you know that you aren’t a rat, if you don’t even know who you are?” Rainbow felt her confidence return in full. Finally, she had cornered him. “Hyeck hyeck hyeck, you have bested me Miss Dash, but i believe you are confused. If I were a rat, that would be what I am, not who. I am sorry, but if you are looking for my identity, then you will find nothing, it is not there.” Curious now, Rainbow felt her temper fade. “Then what do I call you?” “Whatever it is you wish.” “C’mon, what do others call you?” Training was long forgotten to Rainbow now. “Treachorous wretch, curious thing, snake, depressing, vermin, cretin, furball, hairball, food, breakfast, lunch, dinner, insignificant, lonely, sinful bag of bones, the mirror’s rat, the mirror’s guard, the mirror’s sheath, the mirror, disaster, friend, companion, loathesome, lazy, the mirror’s attendant, the...” Rainbow felt her temper rise, trickling hot through her limbs and blood. What mirror was he talking about anyway? Nevermind, it was hard enough to get one straight answer out from between those teeth. “What one was your favorite?” “Melancholy.” He offered. The teeth, forever exposed beamed brighter, was this how he smiled? It seemed so to Rainbow. She could not be sure since his teeth always maintained the same prominence. The trick to his face was the eyes. “Melancholy.” she confirmed. “Melancholy,” with no sense of finality was the name spoken by its owner, more with the lightness of wonder. “Hyeck, now Rainbow, you have a name for me so perhaps it is time I help you with your trick.” He pulled a large piece of glass out of the air, opaque with a swirling vortex of blue. Rainbow was confused again, but she didn’t care. She was frozen in greedy curiosity... what was it? Shiny for one thing, maybe Magic! Twilight does magic. Unicorns do magic. Can rodents do magic? Melancholy was not in anyway typical, so it would kind of make sense. The magic on display definitely looked docile enough, though you could feel there was an edge of discord in it. She forced herself to relax, folding down the wings that had sprung up in fe... surpri... on their own.She did not even know what discord meant! "Yet," chided Melancholy. Anypony would tell you that the one and only Rainbow Dash did not know the words fear, surprise, let alone discord, unless trying to boldly declare that she did not know what the words meant. Rainbow Dash laughed at her self contradation, remembering last week fondly. Melancholy hyeck hyeck'd while he polished his piece of glass to pristine clarity with a furry sleeve. What was he laughing at? Rainbow pondered, Melancholy could not have found her thoughts funny? If he was a magic rat, he might also read minds, the possibility was no wierder than the monsters in the Everfree Forest. Melancholy hyeck'd a bit louder, and then became silent, immersing himself in his possession, like a mother preening her daughter's wings. He began to hum, and then to sing accompanied by the whistle between his teeth.. Where are you? My baby The rain iss drumming a ssad ssound. My dear babe AHm ssorry I cannot sstep upon the ground. Where are you? My baby Losst in these windss what musst I do? My dear babe AHm ssorry Just how will I return to you. Where are you? My baby I wander through my world, I’m sstuck My dear babe Ahm ssorry Fare well, I beg you sstole my luck Rainbow continued the ballad automatically. It was familiar, and dear to her. She crept closer to Melancholy, head held high and slightly crooked in order to better see the... thing. The image in the glass was turned to face her now, apparently it was clean enough for the rodent. Rushing sky and cloud whipped past beneath the glass’ surface. One spot of rainbow was fixed in the middle. This was it, the mirror! Rainbow Dash’s realization was subdued however, by her need to watch. My baby! I can see Celestia’s rays reveal you You look, like joy my babe And my love, if you only knew She looked deeper into the mirror that Melancholy had propped up against his furry body. It was beautiful and Rainbow felt her pulse rise. It was a Rainboom! Just like the one she dreamt all those years ago from her race, no, maybe not dreamt if she was seeing it again. Omigosh she looked bigger than a filly in the moving picture! Where are you? My baby. A world we share, cut by our fears My dear babe Ahm sorry Just wait, a sunny day dries tears Inside the glass she watched herself breaking the sound barrier, and letting loose the full spectrum explosion on the world. It spread and rippled unlike anything the sky could display on its own. Celestia’s day was plain. Luna’s night, was a clustered shamble, a puzzle for eggheads like Twilight to unravel with tedious diligence. The Rainboom was a single force, an event born of chance and 120% effort. Where are you? My baby. I swore not to, but that was then My dear babe Ahm sorry Sunny days gone, you’re lost again To Me She saw herself, racing against the Rainboom in her wake, pushing, and pushing. The mirror Dash could do no wrong. Where am I? My baby. You can try, I will not be found. Live strong, my babe, live long See the world, learn! You’ll see it’s round. A splash of red. The speeding sky in the mirror was almost instantly replaced with a more terrestial view of the world and halted abruptly. There was no movement. There was sky blue above, and a dab on the ground. Beside, around, inside and outside the grounded blue spot was a full spectrum of colors. A tranquil border of green grass and trees contained the tragedy inside of the mirror. Why was there so much red? It should never be more than another stripe in a rainbow mane. “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh.” Rainbow launched herself in one quick hop. She needed to leave, she needed the sky, and to leave the ground far far away. Rainbow Dash would miss her friends, she really would. Welcoming her return, it almost felt like the sky was pulling her up into its arms. On the other hand, it felt exactly like a hairy, scaly rope was pulling her back down. Bah! So this is how the rat wanted to play! The pegasi athelete drew her wings back as far as anatomy would allow. Her wing blades bunched against each other by way of toned mats of muscle. The strain was almost too much. Almost. “Trick 5! Back and Barrel Twist Blitz. Banger?” The trick was meant to involve an instant Sonic Rainboom, resulting hopefully in some sort of bang. It was a combat trick after all, bangs were useful, but uncommon. Regardless, the trick was still going to be sweet! Exhaling all of the air from her lungs, blue wings flared forward, almost tearing themselves off as they pushed Rainbow Dash back (check) explosively. Mane first, Rainbow began rotating. Originally, the idea had been to do a sort of barrel roll. After a few practice runs Rainbow had found that in close range the rolling threw her too far off course. At a longer range, well, the trick was just a glorified U-turn with spinning. No, this sort of trick needed something a little more extreme. Rainbow Dash swung her head, feeling her muscles pull, twist and bend her spine. The twisting (check) continued, her head almost at 90* farther in the rotation than her torso. Her deflated rib cage went with the motion without trouble, and finally, her hips began to twist. What had Twilight called this? Torck? The Rainbow pony was now (mostly) facing a still toothy, grinning Melancholy. Speed took hold, impact was destiny, the entire planet revolved in a blur. Her whole body was in the twisting barrel (check) roll, containing all of her power, SO much power. From three metres away, Rainbow Dash’s hoof hit Melancholy’s tooth with a definitive CLOP. Since no one was around to analyze the punch, the mirror took it upon itself to put a scale on what was occurring. RAINBOW DASH WAS ACCELERATING FROM A STATE OF REST TO A SPEED OF 9 METRES/SEC IN THE TIME FRAME OF 0.5 SEC. HER PUNCH ACCELERATED RELATIVE TO HER BODY AT A RATE OF 3 METRES/SEC/SEC. RAINBOW DASH’S ACCELERATION HAS BEEN EVALUATED TO BE 18 METRES/SEC/SEC. THE PUNCH’S ACCELERATION RELATIVE TO MY KEEPER IS 21 METRES/SEC/SEC. LET US ASSUME THAT THE PEGASUS’ MASS IS 35 KG. THE FORCE EXERTED CAN BE CALCULATED Force=Mass x Acceleration. Force = 35000G x 21 M/S Force = ouch! Melancholy hit the ground hard, momentarily crushed by his assailant as she tumbled spinning along the ground. A spiral of colour, the rainbow tail flailed in a wide circle before landing next to its owner. Rainbow noticed her tail flop a moment after the rest of her body had stopped moving, it slowly started to unwind. Torck was cool, she concluded. Really cool. Too bad there had been no rainboom to go with it. She giggled, the world felt really woozy. Giggles intensified, she was in the throes of a full blown ROGL (rolling on the grass laughing). A successful trick always made her feel better. “Rainbow Dash?” Melancholy, dropped to all fours, mirror abandoned into the void it came from. So much for feeling better the pegasus grumbled, still too woozy from the Back and Barrel Twist Blitz to openly and verbally resent her companion. “Rainbow listen, the reason I chose to show you your death is because, in a few weeks, you will attend The Best Young Flier competition, and you will recklessly complete the Sonic Rainboom in time to impress the Wonderbolts, but sadly too late to impress the ground.” His tail tucked under the ponies chin and tilted her head up from the dirt, violet eyes shimmering. “I am here to prevent that. I think my tooth is ringing.” With one final guffaw, Rainbow Dash fell asleep. NOTE: The force of Rainbow Dash’s punch exceeded 700 000J
Dragon FireSonicRainboom- part 2: DRAGONFIRE The next two weeks were spent in irony. Rainbow Dash working under Melancholy’s wing. On the second day of training Melancholy had arrived at Rainbow's training field with an elastic cord. That day was spent on building explosive wing power. In other words, jump and get yanked back down into the ground. The clever rat came up with hundreds of drills like this, and he made her do them everyday. Rainbow Dash got used to the feeling of every muscle she owned being in pain. After a practice involving a big balloon ball and a party cannon an exhausted blue pegasus collapsed on the ground in front of Melancholy. He smiled down at her sweaty snout, she glared daggers at his mandibles. "This is fun for you isn't it?" Said Rainbow Dash Once again Melancholy whipped his tail forth to administer the medicinal touch. The healing itched as it spread through the mare's body. Easing the ache of exhaustion was beyond the teacher and his doctor tail. "Yess, and no." Hissed Melancholy. "The watching is fun. The thinking is fun. The anticipation is fun. The paining is less so. You may call it healing, but it is not. When I take away your pain, I must put it somewhere else." The big rat twitched its tail in the air and then let it fall in a pile behind its owner. Rainbow Dash looked at Melancholy, first in confusion, realization, then revulsion and sorrow. "I- Melancholy, I didn't..." Started Rainbow Dash. The grin stayed in place. The eyes that normally shone clouded over. Melancholy said, "A gift given to ignorance is a gift meant to depreciate. Pain is nothing compared to Nightmare, or Truth. Let us not speak of it. Fare-well Rainbow Dash, I will return in the morning." He disappeared. Like the world had blinked him away. "Thank you, featherbrain." The sky colored pony whispered. Celestia was laying her sun to rest for the day. Luna preceeded her night with a cleansing breeze. Rainbow Dash slept the night away on the same patch of field she had collapsed on. Some days Melancholy tortured Rainbow Dash. "Just let me go! Please? Listen, I can't take this any longer." "Stop being such a baby." "My wings will stop working, then what will you do?" "Move on?" "No!" Rainbow groaned. "Why can't I fly?" "Because it is important to rest, otherwise you might break yourself." Melancholy said, lending his attention back to the mirror in his lap. Claustrophobia was setting in, Rainbow shifted under Melancholy's tail. "Then can you play the song again?" Melancholy obliged and soon the air was filled with the voice of Orchestra Chord. Come here, my love, my heart. Leap the hurdles and strike down our grief I wait here, your damsel. Come and capture my heart you thief! “Now, when you hit the sound barrier, don’t actually try and smash through it. Slip through it like a blade, and then part it.” Said Melancholy. “You say that like it’s easy to even get close to the barrier, that alone drains me,” Rainbow Dash grunted and kicked at a rock. They were back on her favorite training field, together under a cloudy sky. “Yes, however reaching the sound barrier doesn’t require the precision that you need to actually execute its breaking. The Wonderbolts already know speed, the only difference between you and them will be the boom. Now....”Melancholy continued his lecture and his student let her mind canter off. The clouds were getting plump, obviously in need of a trim. Where were the other weather ponies? Those foals needed to stop relying so much on their hero. Just because I represent Loyalty! "...Dash? Rainbow Dash! Pay attention, this is important. Now, in regards to torque, the Back Barrelling Twister is one thing-" "Back Barreltwist Blitz Banger!" "'Twas more of a clop than a bang. Regardless, spinning through the sound barrier is not wise, at least on the second rainboom in history. Hit it head on, or not at all. The only thing that will break the barrier of sound is your will and that alone. Only six days left too." "But maybe the extra power will-" "Twist off your head like a bottle cap. Its a wonder you did not twist your spine apart in five places when you punched me, I think your tail and my tooth absorbed all the impact." "Ya, I was actually wondering how those bricks are so strong. I hit you really hard too, is it still ringing?" Rainbow Dash hovered above and before Melancholy, gesturing with a hoof at his grin. The student and her mentor took a moment. Filtering out the sounds of birds and wind. The tooth whined like a mosquito. Rainbow Dash was filled to the brim with pride. No one else could pack that much power in one hit. "Back to the lesson." Melancholy announced, diverting the dialogue away. The pegasus was having none of it. “Can you fly?" … The silence was awkward “Why would you ask?” Melancholy replied. … Really awkward “Wait, what? You aren’t going to expect me to believe that you can fly too! You don't have wings!” Melancholy paused where he was. Rainbow flew a few circles around him and stopped to hover inches from his toothy face. "Hyeck hyeck hyeck hyeck hyeck..." Melancholy burst out laughing. "Rainbow Dash you have NO idea!" He hopped into the air and floated there. He hung there for a moment, saying nothing. "Your looking a little wobbly there for a flying coach." Said Rainbow Dash. She held out a hoof to 'help' him, pushing him out of the air. THUD He hit the ground. "Ssix dayss left" Hissed Melancholy through his mouthful of dirt. "Geshundheit," offered Rainbow Dash. "Six days to repeat the greatest fluke in history." Melancholy brought himself up to glare at Rainbow Dash. "Hey! It wasn't-" "And you insult your coach!" continued Melancholy, bringing himself up to onto his hind paws. "It was just a-" "JOKE? I am NOT a joke." Melancholy said right before his body vanished, the world had just blinked him away. Four mirrors flashed into existence. Three around Rainbow Dash, and one directly above. "Is this supposed to scare me?" The little rainbow pony snorted, eyes shifting between the pieces of glass. Only one reflected Rainbow Dash, the one directly in front. To her left flank was a portrait of Orchestra Chord, holding two bundled baby ponies. To her right was Rarity, she wasn't moving. "No, on the contrary, you scare ME, Rainbow Dash." The mirror above contained Melancholy. Rainbow Dash kicked off the ground and smashed it, breaking open a wide road to the sky. She flashed a cocky smile and circled her training field, looking for Melancholy. "Is this a lesson?" Shouted Rainbow Dash. "You scare me because you just aren't any good Rainbow Dash." Melancholy whispered in her ear. Rainbow whipped around on the spot, not sure whether she had heard his voice or not. "Don't lie, you've seen me in action. I'll pull off the Sonic Rainboom soon, you even said so yourself." She countered at the air. "You talk and you talk, but do you know what you are missing?" Said Melancholy. "Explosions?" Melancholy hyecked from his hiding spot. Then he said, "You have six days." Rainbow Dash tread air. She called out for Melancholy, but now even his voice had vanished. All that was left was her and her training grounds. "I'll show you!" She screamed into the sky, scattering a couple of pegasi on their cozy cumulus. Training resumed alone. TWILIGHT SPARKLE Twilight stood before them. Harmonic jewelery was the set attire for the loose circle of friends. The ground was divided into the five worlds; an orchard, a road of clouds, a meadow, a candyland that gave Twilight a toothache, the last world was beautiful. In every way. Twilight was stuck in the centre of it all on a small pedestal. Her friends all gave deadpan stares, only returned by the purple unicorn. Boring! Twilight rolled her eyes to the heavens in indifference, rewarded immediately with the view. Interesting. The sky had been replaced with a continental piece of glass. Irresistible longing hit Twilight, taking over her hoof and lifting it above her head. Oh! Closer than I thought. Her hoof penetrated the surface and sent ripples through the faint reflections of the five worlds, mixing wisps of each. Back in the worlds, Applejack had lost some apples in Rarity's world, the diva reacted by adding glimmer to the apples. Her eyes sparkled, ivory horn glowed. With a one sided giggle Rarity glimmered all of the orchard. Applejack's distress was audible, but nonsensical. Twilight watched from her pedestal. Clouds replaced patches of meadow, a bunny fell through one of the foggy patches. Fluttershy had her face hidden in her hooves while Rainbow Dash maneuvered herself through a storm of candy. Mint looks cold. But where was the smoke from? Violet eyes led the head as it turned to investigate candyland. Pinkie Pie was drooling and had started writing notes in frosting. She kept jerking her head in the direction of Rainbow Dash, or was it Fluttershy? Twilight Sparkle discovered that she did not actually care, the smoke had been coming from the glass. She looked into her new sky, and saw the image of her library, with- "FIRE!" Twilight screamed herself awake. Of all the perils! She was a librarian in a library a library for Celestia's sake! Libraries are flammable! Well, not stone ones... no those too, unless the books were all stone as well. It might be nice to read off of tablets, maybe Twilight would 'recieve' orders from Celestia to investigate some ruins in- -FIRE! Or just smoke. If it was just smoke she was smelling then it might all be ok. "Ssmoke meanss fire." A melancholy voice added, almost a whisper. Twilight bolted to her dresser, "where is it where is it?" Library was a tree filled with paper. Trees are not fireproof, books were made of paper was made of trees are not fireproof. Why did she have to like reading by candlelight? Besides the light, warmth, ambiance. Facehoof. Focus Sparkle, first things first! Where was her list of emergency checklists? No, action first! That means that she would need a checklist of emergency actions! But she didn't have one, could she make one in time? She started ruffling through her desk with renewed vigor. "Spike, where is the checklist of things I need to create a checklist?" When she did not receive an answer, Twilight took her first look at her smoke filled room. Her bed was fine, her bookshelf was fine but in DANGER! A quick purple hoof punched Twilight in the mouth to stop herself from re-initiating the yelling. Back to her list! Right, where is the checklist of things that I need to-... Twilight felt the gears in her head start turning, she narrowed her eyes and glared at the floor in concentration. There was something important about the floor. Scratch marks from a little dragon, books, carpet, all check. Baby dragon in his bed? Zilch, just a pile of smouldering garbage. In the far corner of the room were two piles of books, impeccably divided by relative age and... “Oh my gosh I must be tired, there’s no fire! It’s just a pile of smoking- What are ashes made of?” Twilight had not meant to speak aloud, but she was not paying attention anymore. Her entire focus was now on the baby dragon’s bed, filled with black and grey soot. From paper? Twilight felt her ears flop, they wobbled pathetically to the sides of her face when she blinked away a tear. The librarian crept over to Spike's bed. Her head was craned low as if to collect the burnt crumbs of knowledge. Her face was hot, like her head had become a teapot. Was that actually steam in my ear? Twilight thought. "That dragon has no common sense does he? Well he IS a baby so you are not allowed to be mad at him." More melancholic whispering penetrated Twilight's conscious. She ignored it, probably nothing. Yet the voice continued, "at least it was just books!" Twilight's ears jumped. "There is no such thing as JUST a book! Each one carries a message, a private faucet for valuable information to any reader in need. They are all that may be left for the the next generation. And every author put their very soul into every consonant." "How many souls are there in the dragon's nest of ashes?" Said the melancholy. Twilight stuffed her mouth with hoof before she started screaming. Some of it escaped in a squeak. the rest escaped as a roar. "SPIKE! SPiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiike? What is the meaning of this?! Spike WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?" Why had the dragon been sleeping among her books in the first place? He knew he had snoring problems. Twilight sifted through the ashes, looking for something, anything to salvage. Dust and smoke tickled her throat but she persevered. The distinctive rustle of a hoof and page sang out to the unicorn. Magic pounced, cradling the page into the air to be avenged by Twilight's teary eyes. When she was done she floated the page over to her dresser. Breathe in. Open the window to dispel the smoke. Breathe out. Open the door, and leave the room. Breathe in. The purple unicorn trotted down through the tree. Breathe out. Acting as her tail, the generous melancholy whispered hints to Spike's location, as well as inserting quips about inconsiderate and destructive baby dragons. Breathe in. Cross the library. Breathe in. Twilight opened the door, and through the haze of rage surrounding her found Spike sitting forlorn on the step. Breathe in. "SPIKE. What do you have to say for yourself." Twilight shook under her self-restraint. "What are you talking about? I was dusting and then you used your magic, it was purple so I know it was you so don't deny it. You used your magic to push me out the door and then you locked it!" Spike returned, his voice waivered between a foalish whimper and dragon's growl. "Don't lie Spike! My magic is magenta," Twilight resumed, not caring that she had been refraining breathing. "What am I going to do with you? I can't even tell what books you destroyed!" Stomp. "I am so angry I could SPIT! But I won't because I am no-not-nice- neanderthalic-nuisance like yourself, and you know what Spike? Ptooie! There, I spat!" "Hey! Stop. I don't even know..." Spike paused to sidestep the spittle projectile. "That's just nasty Twi." "And then you just left them SMOULDERING in a pile, I nearly suffocated, and what if you set the whole library on fire! You KNOW it's a tree right?" "When was there a fire? I left you in your room ten minutes ago! And stop spitting." Spike wiped a gob of gross goo off of his scales. "Then I don't know what's worse, you trying to burn down my library; or that you burned my books, ran away from the scene of the crime; or that you could not even come up with a decent alibi! I thought I taught you better. Hraaaaaagggghh PTOOIE." Ponies were poking their muzzles out of doorways and windows, always eager to see a show. Spike intended to keep them dissatisfied. Based on the sizzle of phlegm on his forehead, Spike realized that the show was inevitable. Twilight was getting a lot of volume, she was learning! Mustering control over his wavering voice, Spike stared down his big sister. "Twilight please." It looked like he was going to be cut off again, but the angry unicorn was reaping the consequences of oxygen deprivation, and could only breathe and fume at the moment. "Twilight, I am sorry. I do not know what happened to your books, I can even clean them up for you again. Just please, let's go ins..." "Do you think I am stupid Spike?" "Of course not but-" "Because I know dragon fire when I see it. I KNOW you are lying, but I just can't believe it. I thought I was a good sister, I thought that I was good to you." There was a lot of sniffling, and full blown tears were forming a puddle on the ground. Twilight looked down at the dragon through the tears. "Are you OK Spike, you look a little er... Sick?" Twilight said. The baby dragon was sweating, and there was a trickle of smoke from one of his nostrils. She did not notice the voice of melancholy leave. She did not notice the green and brown pony appear beside her. She did notice the colt's battle cry. "HOLD ON I'M READY!" He shouted. Wrapping a hoof around Twilight and a hoof around Spike the new pony dragged the ensemble into the library. Quick as lightning he pulled a clump of green stuff out of his satchel, laid the dragon on the floor and stuffed his hoof, green stuff and all into Spike's maw. BOMPF Smoke filled the room instantly, leaving every pony in a coughing fit. The new pony was the first to recover and started talking immediately and enthusiastically. "Whew! Isn't this just fantastic!? It's hard to find a controlled flame here in Equestria, but then I finally remembered that Spike could do fire. I can too, but only sometimes..." Between hearty coughs Twilight tried standing, found it impossible, gave up, and settled on sitting What was with this smoke? It was thick, and smelled almost familiar. She saw Spike sit up, last to recover. He shook his head and labored up onto his feet. "Thanks a lot!" Spike said before stopping to begin the coughing anew. "You really saved us back there (coughing) I'm Spike, who are you?" Twilight was still having a fit. She was able to glance at the new pony but missed his name. His coat matched the brown tree bark of her home, making her squint for more definition. He was a colt a little shorter than her, and she decided right away that his mane was cool. It reminded her of fat pine needle hued caterpillars, or ropes that stuck out and fell down to frame his ecstatic dark chocolate eyes. He was still talking, as if there was too much to say. Something about inter dimensional damage control. She tried to make out the orange and black cutie mark but the colt was too busy bounding through his smokey clouds and chattering away about, what was that? Who was Mendel? Why peas? And just WHAT was so intriguing about her tail? She twitched it behind her, making the hairs swish. Swishy swishy swishy she continued in fantastic merriment. If Mendel was close, he might have some more of those peas. Coughing ceased; Twilight's mind wandered to important things, like her stomach that grumbled with approval at the thought of peas. If she got a hold of Mendel's peas would she separate them based on their phenotypes? Would she have to share? Had she forgotten to introduce herself? Peas? In an effort to correct the situation Twilight spoke, "Hi, my name ish..." The new pony came to a stop nose to nose with Twilight and asked, "What?" The purple unicorn leaned back onto her haunches surprised. One hoof down to support her, the other brought up to her chest as she continued, "My name is..." "Who?" "my name is..." Spike resumed coughing for a moment. "Twilight Sparkle." she finished. The hornless-wingless-must-be-an-earth pony bounced back into his clouds, laughing. "I am honored Twilight Sparkle, I am Pottasches." Melancholy arrived at the gates of Canterlot.
Bananas Rock3 Days Before Sonic Rainboom Money. Bits. Wealth. Fortune. Any pony can get swept into the powerful tide of cash. It had an overpowering allure. Because money means food, money means fun, and shelter. Money means life. Octavia was a chaser of money. She measured her days in money. She measured her years in money. It rained down on others, and Octavia would collect the runoff. She would measure that too. As much as her world wound itself around money. There was one thing that she could not measure, at least not in money or magnitude. Maintaining a mask of professionalism, Octavia drew her bow. It smoothly resisted the strings on her cello. The resulting note hung in the air, balanced only by concentration and practice. Octavia closed her eyes, waiting. After precisely seven beats she flourished her bow and ended the bar with a sharper note. Statuesque, the grey pony held the pose for a count of 1 and a 2 and a 3 and a 4 before starting the next piece. Octavia was not stalled by shuffling pages, memorizing each song she played came naturally. This one was a waltz called Merry Mare, one of her more practiced pieces. Octavia's eyes glazed over. Her audience at the moment was the Princess, holder of court in the sun, Celestia. There was one other pony, but he was ignoring Octavia and her music. Apparently there was not enough hair dye imports in Hoofington. Melancholy whispered in her ear, "Celestia doesn't even notice you!" Octavia looked left and right. There was no pony around her. But the voice was right. Celestia and her subject were in a heated debate about a contaminated vat of purple. "They aren't being very considerate, your music is beautiful, and should be savored." Continued Melancholy. Octavia nodded. Her hooves slipped slightly against the cello, and she lost a note fumbling over the instrument. "Poor girl, you're shaking. You must have been here for hours. I'm sure Celestia won't banish you for taking a break." The grey mare continued playing alone to the very end of the piece. And for the first time that day, stopped. She stood stock still for seconds, looking expectantly at Celestia from across the hall. The alicorn paid her no heed. Instead Celestia rose and began speaking. “Dye R. Lint, I have heard you suggestions and respect your opinion. Of course your need for hair dye is on my list of priorities.” Yellow magic aura levitated a scroll into the air. Octavia ground her teeth and made a face. Melancholy whispered in her ear, “Your face will get stuck like that. It’s true! Not necessarily bad, looking angry can get you through more situations than you may think. But as for courting ponies, you may struggle a bit.” Octavia unclenched her jaw the tiniest amount. The scroll Celestia was holding up was unrolling, to the floor, then down the steps it bounced. It tumbled to a stop, ending at Dye R. Lint’s hooves. Lint scrolled down the list, starting with the illegible runes next to Celestia. As his gaze followed the list to it’s end he started reading aloud what he could make out. “ “Um... Reply to Twilight Sparkle expressing pride... Practice the condescending chuckle... Get revenge on Luna for the taffy... this can’t be right, Get the oil chained? I don’t get it. Gosh this list is long your majesty! Untie guards within two days, why are there four tallies next to that?” Celestia chuckled, but did not say anything. Instead she waved her hoof, signaling to proceed. Lint continued, “Feed the parasprites... This one is crossed out but it says, put up pro-griffon propaganda. Why? Skip, skip, skip. Sneak a rave into Luna’s quarters, and... AHA Compassionately tell Dye R. Lint to... Celestia! That is ru- fair! Fair, everything is fine.” Lint backed out of the room slowly, staring only at the last item on the list. His eyes were wide and wild. Right before the doors shut, Octavia noticed something. Lint’s cutie mark was changing! His flanks were engulfed in yellow magic, he didn’t even notice, but he was now adorned with a bucket of paint. The door closed behind him. Octavia noticed that her jaw had dropped. She corrected it, but bit on her tongue. Her mouth reverted back to its open state, except now her tongue lolled out over her teeth. “Next pony.” Commanded Celestia. There were two exits to the hall. Peasant ponies came through the large golden door. The other door was beside, and down the stairs from the throne. Octavia sighed. “No escape huh?” whispered Melancholy. This time Octavia was ready for the voice. She kicked a hoof straight backwards and with queezy satisfaction felt the strike connect with something furry. Quickly she hefted the cello onto its stand and circled around on the voice. “Monkey?” Said Octavia. She looked down at the toothy creature. “ew...” “You could call me monkey. I would prefer to be called Melancholy.” Said he. “Talking?” Said Octavia, her head was spinning. “Violent!” Retorted Melancholy. “Ugly!” Octavia returned. “You have me there,” conceded Melancholy. “Are you, are you a pony?” Asked Octavia, she took a step back. “Are you?” “Of course I am!” Said Octavia, hushing her outburst. Celestia was busy with the next peasant so she was still safe. Melancholy reached out and poked Octavia in the chest. She staggered back with her forehooves wheeling. She squeaked and dropped to the floor, just touching the tile with her belly. “That’s better! You do not look too pony like on two hooves.” Melancholy said. “Just do me a favor, and stop smiling like that. It’s gross.” Hissed Octavia. “Can’t help it. What are you doing here?” Countered Melancholy. Octavia was taken aback by the question. “I- I’m a musician of course.” She answered “What is a magician doing here?” “Playing music.” Answered Octavia before, “Wait, I didn’t say magi-” “No you are not.” Melancholy interrupted. “I was!” Octavia said. “You were, what about now?” “Wasting my time talking to a monkey.” Octavia muttered. She could feel her forehead crease. It was making her cranky. “My name is Melancholy.” “My name is Octavia.” “My name is Hors d’Prix!” Announced the newest pony to Celestia’s hall. “I am concerned, your Majesty. The commoners are lobbying for more bits! This is outrageous!” “Uuhh huh...” Replied Celestia. Octavia grabbed Melancholy and pulled him further into the shadows of the musicians’ corner. There was a struggle, Octavia found herself wrapped around Melancholy’s face and his tail looping around her, trying to pull her off. Hors d’Prix continued his capitalist rant, “...can only guess that their final goal is to usurp the foundation of all we hold dear!” “Whore, may I ask one thing.” Said Celestia softly. Octavia started praying in Melancholy’s ear. “Not bananas, not bananas, not bananas, not bananas...” She prayed this way for every pony. Just in case. “Bananas rock?” Asked Melancholy, muffled by the dark tail in his mouth. Octavia rolled her eyes. Celestia continued in her soft voice. “Who is this, we, of which you speak.” “I meant of course, the Equestrian elite. Wealthy merchants, political powers, protectors of the peace. Honestly, if we didn’t keep all of the money who knows what ponies would do with it.” Octavia switched prayers. “Bananas, bananas, bananas, please oh please bananas! Or an anvil.” She continued praying even as Melancholy lifted her off of him. With a flourish of his wrist, Melancholy pulled out a large glass oval. He set it against himself, reflecting Octavia back on herself. She squirmed against the tail. Hors d’Prix continued, “It’s ponies like you and I, Your Majesty, that...” “I or you? What do we do, exactly?” Called Celestia. Her voice was no longer meek, but a force that resounded in the hall. “Wish into the mirror Octavia!” Whispered Melancholy. “No!” She hissed back. “We keep the poor in their place of course!” Proclaimed Hors d’Prix. Octavia stopped squirming. “As for those amongst us that are... less talented. I believe they already know their place.” Said Hors d’Prix. His horn was glowing. “I wish...” “Is that all?” Called Celestia, her face was deadpan, unreadable. “Well, I was going to propose a protesters tax, just to chain them down. And perhaps conscript all of the earth ponies to the fields.” “Is that ALL?” Said Celestia. With her voice dropping in pitch rapidly Octavia repeated, “I wish...” “Go on, go on!” Chided Melancholy. “And it is about time that we abolished the whole, ‘earth ponies raising special races thing’. I am sure you realize how sickening it is. We have to make sure that pegasi and unicorns are cared for by intelligent people.” Celestia stood up, “You said your name was Whore correct? capital W? Well I assure you that I have taken your bigoted whining into due consideration. Leave my hall.” Her deadpan mask slipped, revealing that even an immortal sun can show pity. Octavia looked from the mirror, to Celestia. She had been the musician for Celestia for a long time. Back in the days when she was quarter a quartet. Celestia was a kind ruler. That was a given. But Octavia knew even better. Celestia could be nothing but kind. Even when she turned them away like with Lint, she always had a mutually profitable plan. Octavia suspected that after the initial shock, Lint would be overjoyed at his new special talent. Celestia would never go along with the whims of a pony like Hors d’Prix. But her fangs were dull. She would not punish him. Or she would try, and it would be an effective punishment surely. But the punishment would be too lenient, Hors d’Prix was too bad, Octavia was too offended, for him to be let off with something as asinine as... “And I decree that you will pay a fine of 500 bits for wasting other ponies’ time!” Shouted Celestia. What was that! A fine!? Octavia herself would be able to afford that! And so she wished. Octavia wished a dreadful wish. She stared into the mirror. It reflected her upon herself, so she could watch her lips shape each syllable. Her purple eyes looked so vacant in the mirror. But there was fire there. “I wish for one shred of satisfaction. I wish for poetic justice. I wish for the good of me, and for the good of all ponies repressed by bits. I wish for extreme punishment. Not just extreme, I want punishment that would be overboard for the worst pony that ever has or will walk, in or out of Equestria. I wish for, the Banana Bag!” Melancholy winced, “That wasn’t quite what I had in mind...” The Banana Bag dropped. So did Octavia. Safe to say, she had been bested in gymnastics. Octavia had seen it only once. It was after the Princess, Luna returned. Celestia had been having a good week, and her style of rule changed drastically. First, she had lapsed into pranks, dropping the sun on random pony houses. Then, she had brought her shenanigans to the same hall that Octavia was hiding in now. She launched 28 ponies to the moon that day. Thank goodness they were mostly unicorns. Everyone in the hall, hidden or otherwise stared at the bag. Celestia grew a crooked smile. Hors d’Prix was mumbling something about a misunderstanding. Melancholy let go of Octavia and watched eagerly, grinning. Octavia stood up, automatically balancing herself. “So... Whore, would you like a banana?” Said Celestia, working each word in her mouth like savory candy. “Sure, does this mean I am forgiven?” Said Hors d’Prix. “Wait, wait, wait! What is the rush Whore, I just wanna clarify something real quick.” Said Celestia. “My name isn’t-” “Am I correct that you are mmmmwhoreymmmmm who likes mmmmmmbananas?” “Well, I do enjoy a good banana. Are they imported?” “You are a Whore who likes Bananas?!” Jeered Celestia from her throne. As this was going on, Melancholy turned to Octavia and asked, “The Banana Bag exists?” Octavia nodded eyes locked on Whore de Pee, as she now knew him as. “ON THE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNAAAH AHAHAHA. Hahaha, ooooohhh. Next pony.” “Next pony?” Melancholy asked to no pony in particular. “Oops.” Said Octavia. “This isn’t good!” Hissed Melancholy, “I cannot believe after all my efforts.” The next pony entered the hall. “This is your fault, fix it.” Octavia made to return to her cello. “Ah ah ah,” Melancholy took Octavia in his tail and dragged her back to him. The mirror rewound and played a familiar scene. Octavia was at a loss for words. “You made the wish. I honestly thought that you wanted to leave this place, but you wasted it!” Said Melancholy. “Well I take it back, let me wish for something else.” Octavia said while averting her gaze from the mirror. “Do you have ears? I said wasted! Destroyed, lost, abused, thrown away etcetera.” Melancholy said under his breath. Octavia wheezed, “Can you at least stop squeezing me?” Then, “Whew, thanks. Now if you will excuse me, I have to try and run for my life.” She started to gallop. “Celestia can obviously see the door, you would need to be more than invisible to make it out of here that way.” Said Melancholy. Octavia was still galloping, and frothing at the mouth. “I do not care, monkey! She can’t catch me if I become a griffon!” “Yes, sh...” “I’ll go to um... Aquileopia? Yes, and I will be a griffon, and I will make money by staying at a zoo. They will all love me there, I can brush my mane and they will be all like: ‘whoa! she has a mane’. I’ll play it cool, and be all like: ‘ya huh’, and then they will all squee and throw dead rabbits at me, so I will have to tell them to bring popcorn next time. It will be perfect!” “Would that require me to let you down?” Asked Melancholy Octavia looked down to see her hooves treading air. “...On the MOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAOOOONNNNNNNNNAAAHHHHHH!” “I’ll be fine.” Said Octavia, and she returned to her stationary escape. “As you are now, you are obviously a liability to my cause...” Said Melancholy. “Yes, lemme go!” “And I am running out of time...” Continued Melancholy. “Aren’t we all, haha.” “So I might have to make you my thrall...” Melancholy said, and with a sweep of his claw, cleared the mirror. “Sounds wonderful.” Octavia had not let her eyes leave the door. “I am so glad that we are in agreement, or perhaps you are an airhead. Let us begin the contract.” Melancholy bit his claw, and allowed a single drop of blood to hit the surface of the mirror. “Now if you could please make yourself bleed a little bit.” Octavia said nothing. “Just a drop is all. You see, the mirror is demanding sacrifice for you to use it again.” Said Melancholy, he held the mirror up beside Octavia. She took no notice. “My goodness, you have jumped off of the deep end have you not?” He shook Octavia gently, then a little more forcefully. Years of standing must have made her core rock solid because she just kept galloping. Drip. One drop of sweat, a glimmering pearl struck the mirror. “Perfect.” Breathed Melancholy. “MOOOOOOAAAAAAAAOOOOOONNNNNNNNNAAH!” “Now calm down!” Said Melancholy. He kept his voice low without losing the urgency. He tightened his grip on Octavia, and she slowed down her frantic galloping. She was held there long enough for another pony to be sent to the moon. Long enough that she stopped moving almost entirely, save for ragged breathing. “You have one more chance. One more wish.” Melancholy told the grey mare. He still had her off of the ground, just in case. Octavia opened her mouth. Melancholy stuck the end of his tail in it. “Ag geeg eguf gegtai oo gow ger gish ish goig.” “I will not have you waste another wish. Think carefully now.” Melancholy said. He removed his tail. “Gah! That was disgusting.” Whispered Octavia in the angriest voice she could whisper. “Even so. Would you like some help?” Offered Melancholy. Octavia did not say yes. A brown and green pony appeared in the mirror. “Whoa! Hi Octavia.” The pony waved. Octavia waved back with less enthusiasm. To be specific, no enthusiasm at all. He continued, “How’d you find this mirror?” Octavia looked at Melancholy, he was shaking his head furiously. “I need help making a wish.” She replied simply. “Easy, wish for world peace.” The pony smiled. Octavia groaned, so he continued, “Well if that won’t float your boat, try super powers. Now, about this...” “What kind of super power?” Asked Octavia eagerly. Why had she not thought of that. “Freeze ray? Dunno, you might want to settle for something small, the bigger the wish, the more the mirror will control you.” “The mirror will control...” “You, yes.” Octavia, the mirror pony, and Melancholy all paused. Melancholy was focused on his claw at the moment, to busy concentrating to speak. Octavia glared at the mirror’s keeper with venom. “I take it that you don’t want that.” Said the mirror pony. “Of course I don’t. I want to cancel the wish.” “Sorry, it doesn’t work that way.” Melancholy nodded at the mirror pony’s reply. “Then what! I’m going to be sent to the moon and I’m going to serve this mirror for the rest of days?” Octavia squeaked. As is to punctuate her speech Celestia sent another pony to the moon. “Horseapples! Why does Celestia have the Banana Bag?” Demanded the mirror pony. “IT’S NOT MY FAULT!” Screamed Octavia. “Octavia no!” Hissed Melancholy, too late. “I don’t think you should have shouted just now.” Said the mirror pony. Yellow aura picked Octavia, Melancholy, and the mirror into the air. The mirror pony vanished. Ever so slowly, Octavia saw the floor pass beneath her, taking her to Celestia. She turned her face away from the alicorn. Maybe the anonymity would buy her some time. This is it. This is where the bits had led her. To be trapped in the clutches of the tyrant who paid her. Goodbye cruel world. Clink Octavia’s ears twitched. What? The mirror had fallen from the air. She could see that yellow aura was still yanking at it, but it resisted, it was immune. “I know my wish!” She hushed. Melancholy beside her was quick on the uptake. He extended his tail without explanation, and snagged the mirror from the ground. He brought it to face Octavia. His face was a grin, it had always been a grin. Now Octavia noticed that in his eyes, there was a warning. Be careful. “I...” Octavia began. She could see that she was rising past the steps now. “Wish to be...” The aura began to spin her around, bringing her to face Celestia. “Like you mirror!” She had to crane her neck to maintain eye contact with her reflection. Melancholy hyecked. Octavia slipped out of her magic binds and dropped to the floor at Celestia’s hooves. She wasted no time, Octavia attacked. The Banana Bag was a worthy foe. Octavia struggled to push its large mass off the side of the throne. It fell to ruin below. The grey mare whinnied her triumph to the hall. She turned around. “Oh right, that.” That, was an alicorn. That, was a very rich powerful alicorn. That, was the pony with the political power of everlasting monarch. That, was the pony that did not even need political power because, that, could torch the planet as easily as the sunset she had performed countless times. That was her real opponent, the unapproachable, undisputed overlord of the entire known world. That was the tyrant Celestia. More importantly, that, did not look like good intentions on that royal face. That look in her eyes, was laughter. That, was scary. Because that smile, was not laughter. That smile was malice. That, was not a good combination. That, is why Octavia did not want to stick around. Octavia soon realized that all powerful tyrants did not need magic or guards to hold her in place. Fear would suffice. The grey pony looked around for Melancholy. He was slinking out the door. Perhaps he wasn’t a monkey. Melancholy was a rat. “I will have a talk with him later. So...” Said Celestia coolly. Octavia shivered. Yellow aura plucked at her coat. “Magic is useless on you? That is wonderful!” Cheered Celestia, her eyes rolled up and to the side. Octavia remained paralyzed. She could not think, she could not breathe. She knew she was being toyed with. “Please pray tell how you are doing that.” Tyrant Celestia continued. “This was Melancholy’s doing?” Octavia squeaked. The squeak snowballed on itself, it became a squeal. A whine, a note, a voice, a slightly louder voice, a shout escaped Octavia. “Oopsie, did I break you?” Tyrant Celestia pouted. That, got a mouthful of Octavia’s left hoof.
