Painted Mirror

Chapters

Day to Day
Certainty
Nothing Else to Do
The One Where Ponies Show Up
Thing in the Woods
Such a Nice Day
Savagery
Not a Good Day
Down on the Farm
Hounded
Things that Matter
Have to Do
Need to Do
Halcyon
Never a Day Off
To Feel Safe Again
Escalation
Grey Hours
Black Dog
Brown Tunnels
Green Eyes
Book Two: Blackhand Rajrishi
No Such Thing as Useless Knowledge
Never Find Your Bones
Slitherscale
Never Die for Nothing
Respect the Scales
Making Progress
That Most Dangerous Beast
The Shortest Chapter
Big Universe, Small Town
Rajenstein
Impatient Rewards
Frog in the Throat
Verdant Monuments
Full of Cotton Candy
Acceptable Breaks from Reality
Panic in Pink
Bones of Metropolis
The Worst Plan
Laughter in the Face of Sense
Embellishment
Clean Up Nice
Can't Take You Anywhere
Social Bear Trap
Part of the Job
Doing the Job
Finishing the Job
Nerd Stuff
A Different Kind of Nerd Stuff
Chasing History at 50 Knots
Witness to Many Strange Things
Interlude: Fear is Not Universal
Thunder That's Not Thunder
Buckling the Swash
Old, Old Grudges
The Invasion of the Break of Day
Shedding Peace
Finding What You Want
Book Three: Dagger Days
Remembering When it Didn't Hurt
Ancient Troubles
Unarmed in a Battle of Wits
Slow to Wake
Mice Relating to Elephants
Loyal to What?
Unsuited to Task
Rage
Hey, it's been a while.
I've been having a rough time
But I'm not giving up, not yet
Book One: 160 Days
Want to Do
A Ridiculous Interlude About Stones and Houses
A Gentlemanly Disagreement
Not Wanting What You Find
Hanging Out
Different Approaches, Similar Problems

Day to Day

Raj's first thought upon waking up was that it was far too early to be so hot.

Lines of hard sunlight beamed through his window, heating the inside of his car like an oven. He sat up and peeled his back off the soaked seat, wincing at the uncomfortable sensation. He kicked open the door and took a second to revel in the rush of comparatively cool air. Banjo hopped out, panting and shaking his head.

He stepped out and hissed immediately from a flair of pain in his foot. He looked down and saw a dry, crushed pinecone and several sharp barbs stuck in the bottom of his foot. He kicked the thing away and sat with his legs crossed.

Cautiously pulling a sliver out, he muttered “Well, that certainly sets a precedent for the day.”

He took to the morning chores he'd set for himself. He gathered firewood, far more than he needed for the day, and started stoking a flame to cook breakfast. The weather seemed fair at the moment, but he never could predict it in the forest.

The wood caught easily and he left it for the moment. He lowered a plastic cooler from a tree and retrieved a pair of fish, one for himself and one for Banjo. He flipped out his knife and set to gutting and de-boning them. With that done he fitted them on skewers and leaned them over the fire. The whole time Banjo eyed the meal with intent, debating whether or not to simply snatch it as is.

Raj saw his dog staring at the catch and chuckled “I'm hungry too boy. Just wait.”

After a few minutes of sizzling and popping Raj couldn't take it anymore and descended on the meal. The meat of the fish was bland, but very filling and fatty, just what he needed in a breakfast. He un-impaled Banjo's and tossed it into his bowl. The greedy dog gulped it down after knocking it to the ground and spicing it with a layer of dirt for some inscrutable, canine reason.

He downed a bottle of warm-ish water and shared another with his dog. He knew it wasn't enough, the previous day had been sweltering and exhausting and this one was looking to be the same. He knew he was dehydrated, could feel the annoying pang in the back of his head from it. He only had one full bottle left and couldn't bring himself to take it outside of a grave emergency.

Down by the river, he started filling each empty from a fast-moving section of water, inspecting each one for clarity and grit. Satisfied, he climbed a high stone outcrop and nestled each one near the top to be heated and cleansed by the the sun. Banjo had no such reservations and simply took deep gulps of the babbling stream.

Heading upstream, he came upon a feeder pool: a section of the river that fed into a flat basin of water that moved sluggishly. He peeled his clothes off and sat them beside the pool before lowering himself into it. He hissed at the sudden chill, his skin erupting into gooseflesh. He let out a shuddering breath and started peeling off the parts of the makeshift bandages plastered all over him that he didn't simply sweat off in his sleep.

The work was undone easily, revealing pink edged cuts and abrasions that look as though they had seen a week of knitting rather than twelve hours. The terrible itch underneath them that he'd been ignoring all morning suddenly seemed worth it. He made a mental note to ask Zecora about this stuff, maybe even take some home when he went.

The leaves and ointment peeled, he set to gingerly washing himself and his clothes with handfuls of sand and gravel, scrubbing off the worst of the previous day's exertions. He hummed as he worked, enjoying the easy, mundane chore while Banjo contemplated a frog just below the water's surface further up the river.

While he was combing his hair, doing so carefully to avoid breaking a tine, he heard Banjo start barking frantically. Thinking the animal was warning off a bird or his own reflection he turned slowly to see him woofing and snarling at something on the other side of the river. He followed the dog's gaze, did a double-take at the creature he saw and immediately dropped, submerging himself beneath the water.

Raj hunkered underneath the surface, gripping the rocky bottom with his toes. He held tight, wondering if the thing across the way saw him. After a full minute of hiding he couldn't think of a reason to stay where he was and cautiously slipped his head above the surface, just below his nose so he could breath, and studied the thing.

It was roughly the size of a horse as he commonly knew them, its shoulder rose to just below his head height but that was where the comparison to any normal, sensible creature ended. Its large, leonine head, thick with a mane, drooped into the river, gulping water. Another head, this one of a gray furred goat, sat perched between its shoulder blades, twisting and scanning the area. The differing fur tones between the two fought for dominance along the sides of the beast, the goat's heavier coat winning out and claiming the back-legs as a pair of rough, cloven hooves. Then that hide gave way to green scales that crawled up a ridiculously long tail and ended at a listlessly drooping snake's head.

The creature lifted its head from the water and the Goat bleated, tilting its head at Banjo. The Lion scanned around and finally noticed the barking dog. A growl that could be heard over the river rumbled from the thing's barrel chest and it took a step into the rapidly flowing water. Banjo immediately clammed up, a frightened whimper coming from him and his tail tucking between his legs. He turned and started to trot away, back up the hill.

Satisfied, the Lion turned its bulk away, back into the forest while its Goat head started braying. The Snake was shaken back into coherency and the last thing Raj saw of the great beast was the Snake flicking back and forth furiously, trying to find the source of its counterpart's merriment.

He let out a breath, a shudder of relief passing through him. Genuine concern and worry pulsed through him, as well as a healthy amount of confusion. He said quietly “Huh, there's something you don't see everyday.”

* * *

When Raj met Zecora, she'd spent some time trying to impress on him the dangers of the Everfree without going into specifics. He thought that it was her own, unconventional method of communication that limited her as well as the language barrier, but he had always been somewhat resentful that she hadn't given him more information. After seeing the thing by the river though, he was grateful she hadn't, because he is certain he wouldn't have believed her.

Raj is not a stupid man, nor was he an uneducated one. He was a child once, and watched cartoons and learned history. Academically, he knew he just saw a Chimera, a creature from Greek myth and legend. The issue he's having was justifying it.

He spent the entire walk to Zecora's hut trying to do just that. Simply from a biological point of view, the creature made no sense. The nervous system alone!. And the digestive system! And the respiratory! Did each head have its own, independent organs or did they all share? Were they all in control of each limb, or was locomotion segregated? If it was, then what controlled what? What did its bone structure even look like?

These questions and dozens more flashed through his mind. He remembered every detail that he could about the thing, trying to determine facts about it. He knew that it was strange and beautiful and undeniably dangerous. From the claws, to the horns, to the teeth (Three sets! What did it eat?), and the scales and the thick cords of muscle all over, there was nothing about the Chimera that didn't look dangerous. He knew that wanting to know more about it was foolish, idiotic even, but he wanted to understand this creature. He wanted to understand... something about this place.

So engrossed in his thoughts, he almost walked face-first into the door to Zecora's hut. He stopped just short and laughed nervously as he rapped his knuckles on the frame. He stood silently for a moment before he noticed the pair of jars on the step and a note. He snatched the note and scanned it for a moment before declaring “I can't read this.” He held it in front of Banjo “What about you, do you know what this says?” To his credit, Banjo looked no more bewildered by the page than he did about anything that was not food or something that could be chased.

He flipped it over to check the back, hoping for something there. When nothing is apparent he held it up to the light, hoping for something. “Nope, that didn't work. Still can't read it. Curses. Zecora!” He shouted at the empty hut. “Zecora! You in there?”

No answer was forthcoming, to his call or when the dog barked in response to Raj, so he assumed the Zebra was out. Shrugging, he inspected the jars. One was a green oil and he immediately knew it was what he came for. The other was a thick lotion whose scent informed him was the same material that was slathered on him the previous day. He grinned at Zecora's unexpected generosity and resolved to do something to repay the favor.

Once back at camp he placed both jars in his trunk and opened the container of green oil. The moment he did his dog let out a yip of annoyance followed by an distressed grumble as he pawed at his nose.

“Oh, right. I can't smell this stuff, but you can, can't you boy?” He dipped a stick in the substance and smeared it on a nearby tree. Banjo barked in irritation and whined.

Raj frowned “I know Banjo, I'm sorry, but this stuff is gonna keep us safe. No more weird animals coming into our camp and messing with our stuff. You'll get used to it, I promise.” The dog seemed unconvinced, but flopped down on his favorite rock anyway.

Once that was taken care of, he looked skyward. The sun was in its late morning position, he believed. Even after four months he didn't have a solid grasp of how the sun acted. Regardless, he was able to tell that he had several hours worth of daylight left.

Going to the river again, he checked the shoreline for wandering mythological beasts. Finding none, he drew his fish-trap from a deep pool far upstream. The item itself was based off the design of a lobster-trap he saw once in a textbook, modified significantly and made from roughly carved chunks of wood and re-purposed lengths of seatbelt. In the last four months it had captured dozens of meals for him and Banjo. Raj knew that the little hunk of junk was worth its weight in gold and he hoped to take it home with him when he went.

So he was understandably dismayed when he found his little device torn asunder. He couldn't tell if a massive fish got caught in it and shook it apart or if some other malicious river denizen simply destroyed it. Either way, he rationalized, it probably wouldn't have been something he would want to eat.

With no small irritation he set it back at his camp. He was already going over a list of things he'd need to fix it: Wood, heavy stones, more twining. He wanted to get to work on it right then, but his larder still sat near empty. He would run out of food in a day if he didn't do something.

He un-strung his laundry line and set it for its original purpose, a dog leash. Banjo whined sadly as he lashed him to the bumper.

“Yeah, I know you hate being left alone buddy, but you are a terrible hunting dog. Last time we tried that you barked at a low cloud for two hours.”

Banjo yipped and smacked his tail against the ground, looking at him squarely in the eye.

“Oh, I get it, you're still worried about the thing we saw down by the river this morning. Well, if I stay here I'll be eating you in a couple days.” The dog didn't comprehend the jest and pawed at his leg. “Stop worrying Banjo, I'm just going to find some berries and those weird tuber things. Maybe catch something if I can find it. Nothing dangerous.” His words did nothing to mollify the animal's worries, and he barked after him as Raj headed into the woods.

He made for the northern edge, far away from the bramble thickets and a pair of possibly still enraged Bugbears. He saw a flock of ducks flying that direction the other day and he hoped to find where they've nested. Even before coming to Equestria he loved the taste of roast duck.

Luck favored him. A swamp-water lake two hour's walk north of his camp was playing host to a large flock of waterfowl. He counted at least two dozen mallards with their distinctive coloring bobbing along in the water and occasionally upending to dive for some morsel of plant matter.

It took him hours of patient, predatory waiting, but he was able to slink across the pond and pounce on the unsuspecting waterfowl, drowning them beneath the surface in a flurry of feathers and quacks.

He was grinning from ear to ear as he strode out of the pond covered in mud and loose reeds. Three ducks would be enough to for him and Banjo for days, and quite tasty besides. The rest of the raft abandoned the pond, fleeing for their lives. He trudged back to shore, humming lightly to himself and scraping a layer of stinking muck off his chest.

The animals were stowed in plastic garbage bags and sealed up. He'd pluck and dress them back at camp where Banjo would be able to enjoy the organs and he could store the offal as fish-bait.

He was just about to head back when a thought struck him. There were still hours of daylight left and he wasn't far from a grove of berry bushes. A cramp in his leg complained painfully at the idea of any more walking, but the idea of duck slathered in blackberry sauce made the decision for him.

Following sign he left for himself, he made his way to the grove. It wasn't far from the edge of the Everfree, the smoke from the nearby settlement was visible on clear days. That and the fact that the bushes themselves showed signs of organization, he was worried that he was intruding on somebody’s garden or crop. Zecora assured him that wasn't the case.

He once again doubted the Zebra's words when he heard muttering voices echoing around the trees as he approached the grove. He immediately froze and crouched, pricking up his ears and listened closely.

A stuttering laugh wafted from behind a line of bushes. Instantly all thoughts of blackberry sauce were gone as Raj dropped his bounty and crept closer.

Peering through some leaves and brush, he saw two ponies. Superficially, they looked like Zecora, maybe a bit smaller and with thicker legs. One, a boy, was as brown as dirt and had platinum blonde hair-no, mane he corrected himself. There was a mark stamped on his upper thigh, something resembling a thin tree. He picked a berry from a bush and dropped it into a basket hanging from his side. He said something Raj couldn't make out and the stuttering laughter sounded again.

Shifting in his hiding spot, he saw the sound's source. A plum colored mare pony with a mane and tail shaded a light mulberry. She wore a pair of baskets as well and tried to vainly pick a few blackberries while giggling helplessly. He searched for the image on her flank but the basket obscured it.

Whatever words they spoke were lost to the distance between them. He considered creeping closer, but didn't see enough cover to keep himself reliably concealed. Just as well, he supposed. He already felt like a voyeur looking in on them like this, he didn't need to be eavesdropping on top of it.

He watched the ponies as they gathered berries and seemingly joked with one another, at one point the mare dropping to the ground from out-of-control laughter. The sight was odd, but it made him smile.

Curiosity started to chirp in the back of his mind, telling him to learn something about these creatures. The chimera sighting earlier sparked it, and now the inquisitive part of his mind demanded he learn something, anything, about this strange place and the beings that inhabit it. He wanted so desperately to step into view, let these two see him and greet them kindly. They might respond, they might run, they might even attack, but at least he'll have learned about the inhabitants of the world he'd accidentally entered.

It would be first contact, there's no other way to describe it. A meeting of two different species, the kind of thing any scientist or academic would kill to be able to witness, much less take part in. It had the potential to be one of the most incredible events of his life.

Yet, he remained hidden, watching these ponies forage for food. Zecora hadn't told him much about this world except that it decidedly belongs to ponies. And here, in these woods and in this place, he felt like an invader. This place is not his and it is not for him.

He still watched though. He could not conceive of a way that observing them could cause any harm. He paid close attention to their dynamic, trying to figure anything out about them. Were they a couple? Siblings? Was this their garden or were they like him, simply gathering from a wild resource?

To his elation, the last question got an answer when the mare peered over a low bush and turned back to the male, calling out excitedly. He galloped over to see that she had discovered a previously unknown bush that was heavy with fruit. The pair moved on it quickly and Raj had to scramble to remain unseen.

The new position offered a new vantage point on something else as well. Beyond a thick line of trees he caught something serpentine bobbing behind a screen of leaves. He strained his neck to get a better view and realized what it was a moment before it struck.

The Chimera burst free from its cover, eating up ground at a breakneck pace. By the time the ponies realized it was there the thing stood between them and town, effectively cutting off their escape.

Both equines stared in open mouthed shock for a moment before the Chimera opened all three mouths and it roared/bleated/hissed in a chorus of nightmare sounds that sent the small creatures sprinting deeper into the woods, their baskets of berries tumbling to the ground behind them.

The Chimera pawed the ground and gave chase, and then a moment later was followed by the swift feet of a human.

Certainty

Right away, Raj learned something about the ponies he was observing: they were quick.

It shouldn't be surprising, he figured. Raj had it proven to him on more than one occasion that he is not faster than a galloping horse, but he hoped they would at least be a little bit slower due to their size. That was not the case though as he rapidly lost sight of the brightly colored creatures and a few moments later the pursuing Chimera as well. He was left following the obvious trails they both left and the echoing screams of terror.

Worry knotted in his gut for the little ponies. He ignored the feeling and focused on moving fast and safe. It wouldn't benefit anyone if he twisted an ankle on a rock.

He eventually caught up on account of the creatures having ceased their flight. They stood in a barren clearing framed by high trees. The male pony was leaping and darting, trying to avoid swipes from the Chimera's oversized paws. Over them the goat was braying, possibly giving direction or simply jeering while the snake looked on with obvious relish. Of the mare, Raj saw no sign.

The Chimera swung and the pony reared up to avoid it. He came down on his front hooves and rocked his weight forward, pivoting around and uncoiling into a full-body buck. One of his back-hooves struck the lion directly in his brow, making the creature recoil and groan. The lion's brother-heads were unconcerned and broke into fits of stuttering, animalistic laughter.

It was a good hit, and would have ended the fight if it had connected better. Raj did note one flaw with the pony's method of fighting though: it fundamentally relies on showing one's back to the enemy.

The Chimera realized this as well and swiped while he couldn't see it coming. It connected with the pad of the paw and sent the brown pony flying away. He sailed through the air and slammed high on the trunk of a tree with a pained whinny and flopped to the ground in a heap.

An excited growl rumbled out of the Chimera and it pounced, intent on ripping the prone pony to shreds.

There was a flash of sudden movement, almost fast enough Raj couldn't catch it from his position. What looked like a plum-colored head and hooves popped out of the base of the tree, grabbed the stallion, and pulled him straight into the wood, leaving the Chimera to claw dirt.

Raj was confused by this to say the least, until the Chimera shoved its lion face into the tree and let out a muffled roar that shook leaves from the upper branches. The tree had a hollow in the base of it that Raj couldn't see from his angle, and the ponies took refuge in it.

He heard a frightened shriek from the tree and the Chimera recoiled, clutching at a slightly flattened nose marked by a hoofprint. The thing growled, turned and bucked its back-hooves with a bleat of exertion and the entire tree was blown apart with a thunderous crack that startled Raj onto this backside. The trunk leaned towards him and he had to scurry and roll to avoid it. It hit the ground with a mighty crash and a blast of dirt that sent him into a fit of muted coughing.

The only part of the tree left standing was a fractured stump the size of a barrel. The Chimera planted its front paws on the edges and looked down at the scared ponies. They screamed and shrieked and the Chimera licked its chops, rumbling in anticipation. Claws dug into wood and it started to tear at the pony's prison amidst cries of alarm.

Raj could tell that, in less than a minute, the Chimera would shatter the stump to splinters and the ponies would have nowhere to hide anymore. A few seconds after that, they would be dead. Maybe the mare will be able to run while the Chimera busied itself with the injured stallion, but Raj didn't have faith in that. If either could have ran, they would have.

He didn't know these creatures, he knew them less than he would anybody back home. He didn't know where they're from, what they do, who they are, or why they're here. He didn't know their beliefs, their creeds, or even what they ate.

All he knew was that they were sentient, living beings, and that was enough.

He covered the distance quickly, sprinting at a frantic pace. He couldn't hope to sneak up on three, alert animal heads so he needed to get on it before it could react. He didn't have his staff, that was back with his bounty of ducks and the rest of his gear, all he had was his knife. It wasn't much, he'd rather have had something with some reach like a spear or a shotgun, but the knife would have to do.

Once he broke cover the Goat spotted him immediately and let out a warning cry. The Lion started to turn, but it was already too late.

Raj sailed through the air, long knife drawn, and stabbed into the Lion's mane, biting into the flesh just behind its jaw.

The creatures staggered and the Lion grunted, trying to paw at the thing dangling from its face but Raj planted a boot on its shoulder, limiting its motion. The Lion shook its head and pulled away, but Raj had a fist full of mane, keeping himself with it as it turned. He pulled the knife out in a flood of black ichor, rearing back for another strike.

He did not expect the Goat to swing itself down and bonk him on the head with one of its horns. He was knocked senseless for a moment and his grip faltered. The Lion bucked its head to side and pushed him away. Raj was knocked off balance, but kept his feet.

Raj winced and shook, forcing the cobwebs out and assumed a stance, knife in a reverse grip. The Chimera seemed surprisingly sanguine with the fact that it just had six inches of steel buried in it's head and rolled its neck, appraising the creature that dared assaulted it.

He met its eyes levelly and tossed his knife back and forth between his hands. He smiled wryly and taunted “Let's dance, you and I.”

The hulking beast loped forward and swung downward, trying to force him to the ground. Raj shuffled to the side and lashed at its shoulder. The strike was on target but the blade glanced off the tougher hide. He knew he needed to keep close, use his greater quickness to stay away from the dangerous bits while striking when he could. He danced down the side, trying to get further down the thing's flank before it hopped away and out of his range.

He caught a flash of green and ducked instinctively, dodging the Snake as it darted in at his face. He recovered just in time to dodge the next one, and then the next. He swayed like a boxer, in a hunch and all shoulders. He got the rhythm by the fourth strike and was able to slash back on the fifth, drawing a thin black line along the scales flanking the Snake's mouth. It hissed and writhed.

As soon as the Snake decided it'd had enough the Lion was back in it with a high pounce. Raj hopped back, barely staying out of reach of the deadly claws. The Chimera landed, rolled its body and somehow pulled distance out of nowhere, coming in for a followup lunge with one paw.

Raj didn't dodge this one, instead he braced his whole body and blocked with his knife. The razor sharp point hilted in the pad of a paw and the Chimera cried out with all three heads. Before it could pull its leg in and drag him into into its jaws, he slipped underneath the limb and wrenched its paw, forcing the creature to roll onto its side. Still holding it in place by its paw he lifted a boot and stomped on its other foreleg with enough force to hear something snap.

The Lion roared in agony from its dual injuries and started to thrash, flailing wildly and forcing Raj to withdraw. The Snake swept down, swinging between the goat-legs and caught Raj in the back of the knees. He slammed into the ground hard, forcing a grunt.

The Snake reared up and struck down whip-crack fast, catching Raj on the ankle. His high boots saved him from any poison it might have been carrying, but the thing was latched on firmly and slowly dragging him closer to the main body. Raj braced his palms on the ground and pulled, sliding his foot free, but not the boot. That was still lodged firmly in the serpent's mouth.

He scooted back on his rear end, digging at the ground with his heels as the Snake flung footwear from its mouth. It struck again and again but it couldn't get an angle with the main body thrashing still.

Raj staggered to his feet, swaying out of the way of another strike on uneasy feet. He wiped sweat from his eyes and barely avoided fangs, instead taking a glancing blow on the shoulder from the reptilian snout. The main body rolled upright and sidled close to let the furiously hissing snake have another shot. It coiled and sprung out.

It was going for his torso, mouth wide to catch some part of him with its fangs. He swayed, letting the head pass underneath his arm and beside his torso. A sudden spark of inspiration struck and he clamped his arm downward, locking it over the Snake just behind its head.

The long, serpentine body started to undulate and flex, hissing and spitting. Raj braced his feet and held, pulling back with all he could muster. Muscles burned and his teeth clenched tight enough to creak. A blister on the bottom of his foot burst against a rough patch of exposed root but he barely registered it. His fingernails dug into the slick hide and he pierced his nailbeds on sharp scales.

His knife came up, tensed, and sailed down, piercing the Snake through and through in a welter of black blood. The serpent tried to hiss but it faded into a gurgling croak. The Lion and the Goat cried out for it and the whole body pulled away, yanking the Snake and the knife out of Raj's hands.

The Snake flailed and hissed, lashing wildly in pain. The Goat bleated loudly, trying to calm its brother down. Eventually the Snake relented and drooped forward, dripping onto its own coat. The Goat bit the handle and pulled the blade free with a shudder of agony. The Goat reared and threw the blade aside, letting it disappear into the undergrowth.

For the first time in the last few moments there was a lull that gave both sides a chance to re-assess. The Chimera didn't look good. The stab in the neck had been steadily leaking black ooze the whole fight and it had matted down the entire side. It's front end moved sluggishly, not sure which leg to favor and its back-hooves were unsteady. The Snake loomed and bobbed, bubbles of thick blood dribbling from the holes in its neck with every breath. The Goat bleated loudly, trying to goad its brother-heads back into the fight, but it was half-hearted. The day was far too hot for all this exertion and the beast was tired and overheated.

Raj scooped up a rock from the ground and stood ready. He shouted “Come on! Is that all you got?”

He really hoped it was. Raj really didn't want to fight anymore. The fall did something awful to his tailbone, and he was pretty sure that if he fell on it again he would blackout. The bottom of his foot felt raw from the torn blister, and he knew that it was only going to get worse if he had to keep going. The only thing making any of the pain bearable was the slight fog still in his head from the blow before.

The Chimera's three heads panted heavily, deeply tired as well. The Lion's eyes caught his and then flickered over to the ruined stump. It then closed its mouth and snorted.

He could almost hear the thing say “Fine, keep them.” It turned and started to stalk away, deeper into the forest. As it turned the Goat bleated in surprise and then began to whine loudly, protesting the retreat. The Snake kept eyes on him, watching for any sudden moves.

Raj didn't let his guard down until he could no longer hear the goat's cries, and even then he did so warily. After several minutes of clenched silence he finally relaxed. He let out a shuddering breath, leaning a forearm against a tree. He wanted to slump down, but his aching back keeps him from that luxury.

He found his boot and slipped it back on. A pair of holes marred each side and it was covered in snake-slobber, but still serviceable. He limped into the woods hoping, praying, to find his knife.

Luck favored him again. He found it lying at the base of a tree in a clutch of rocks. It struck badly from the throw and the tip had broken off. Raj frowned at that but grabbed it anyway. He spat on the blade and started rubbing at the gummy blood crusting it.

He sauntered back to the clearing, still wary. Old instincts wouldn't let him calm down, demanding he stay on his toes. Its no wonder he almost jumped out of his skin when he saw a tentative head poke out of the stump. The mare saw him startle and pulled back in with a frightened yelp.

Raj wasn't surprised or insulted by this. It was entirely reasonable he decided. He sheathed the knife and looked down through the broken top.

The two ponies were tangled together, the plum one clutching the unconscious brown one. Both were drenched in sweat from the day's appalling heat. The mare's breath hissed through clenched teeth, her giant eyes scrunched painfully shut. Her whole body was shaking and Raj could hear her hyperventilating.

Raj smiled as warmly as he could and sid “Are you okay?” His voice was hoarse with thirst, still dehydrated from the morning.

After a few seconds her head moved in the faintest of nods.

“Alright, what about your friend? Is he alright?” Once again she gave a terrified nod, maybe a little bit less stiffly. He continued “Good, can you take care of him on your own?” Her head bobbed again and Raj worried that she was simply answering in whatever way she thought would get rid of him.

He stood back up. “The... monster is gone, and shouldn't be back anytime soon. Go home when you feel comfortable.” He stood there awkwardly for moment before muttering “So... goodbye.” He rapped the side of the stump and started to stroll away, back to his abandoned gear.

* * *

By the time he made it back it had been dark for hours. He practically collapsed into camp, half-dead from fatigue.

Banjo was barking madly, straining at his leash to get over to his master.

After a few minutes he somehow convinced himself to rise to his feet. He winced when something pulled at his backside, bringing a fresh wave of pain, but he ignored it. He'd figured out that nothing is broken, just bruised. It wouldn't be fun for a few days, but he'd be okay.

He saw to the dog's and his own needs languidly. He drank an unwise amount of water and almost polished off what was left of his store of food before throwing the ducks in the cooler to be handled in the morning before flopping down in his car.

Rajrishi was exhausted, soaked in sweat, slathered in dirt, injured, and likely suffering from the early stages of heat-stroke, but he couldn't remember ever sleeping so soundly or with such a big smile on his face.

Nothing Else to Do

The next day was much cooler, unfortunately that was due to rain.

Heavy beads of water pelted down from the sky, pooling in the clearing and turning Raj's entire camp into a mud-pit. The crude sitting area and woven chair he's made in his idle hours have either been swept away or sunk into the mud like stones.

Both Raj and Banjo huddled in the wrecked car. The dog poked his nose under the floor mat that's been re-purposed as a cover for the broken window, licking drops of moisture off his nose with every curious probe.

Raj gazed out the intact back-window, scanning for signs that the weather would let up, but every time he checked, the sloshing puddles look deeper and the misty haze was thicker. Murmuring uselessly, he busied himself with his fishtrap, tightening belts and lashing wood.

He wanted to start a fire, he wanted to cook his ducks, he wanted to eat their tender meat and suck their fat off his fingers. He glared at the dog, already glutted fit to bursting on cast off parts and innards. His belly rumbled sourly and he looked down at the cooler. They were just sitting there, waiting to be roasted and crisped.

Like everything else in Equestria, it was frustrating.

* * *

I hate this place.

That is not correct. I do not hate this place. I don't even dislike it.

But I despise the fact that it makes a fool out of me.

* * *

Raj was squatting in the mud, building a tent out of thick leaves and twigs in the shade of a tree. The looming branches did little to cut the rain, but little is more than nothing. He hoped to make a cover for a fire, to give embers the chance they need to catch.

He rose and looked down at his work. It held for one whole second before the wind and and a spill of water from above collapsed it. Raj looks at it blankly for a moment, grumbled, and set to building it again for the fifth time.

* * *

I have survivalist training. I know how to live in the bush and provide for myself. All that knowledge is made into hash here.

This storm came with no warning at all, none. A weather front this powerful should have had signs, some sort of buildup or warning. There was none, simply sunshine one minute and torrential downpour the next. It was all I could do to get inside before getting soaked. Its been raining for hours and the river hasn't swelled an inch. How does that work?

I come from a place of logic, of sense and rules. Back home, the wind blows according to seasonal changes and predictable phenomena. Here, I can speak with a jive talking Zebra and punch a Chimera in its three faces.

I would have to be half mad to dream these things up. Maybe that's what happened, maybe I've finally snapped and this is some solipsistic realm of my own devising.

At least that would make sense.

* * *

After another hour of failed attempts, Raj felt he had constructed the sturdiest fire hut that he possibly could. He stood over it proudly for a minute before leaving to gather wood for burning.

He returned a few minutes later, just in time to see an ankle high wave of water come flowing down the hill and wash away his little hut. He dropped the wood in a panic and looked up, fearing that a wall of water was bearing down on him.

No wall was present. In fact, there wasn't even a large amount of flow coming down at all. It seemed like the wave existed solely to destroy his hut.

His jaw clenched and his hands tightened into fists. Muttering obscenities, he stomped away.

* * *

The strangest thing has to be the similarities. The echoes of home that seem to have followed me here.

Ponies speak english, I don't know how or why but they do. Zecora speaks that and another language I can't recognize, but I swear I've heard it before. There's a link here, some line I can't perceive. It's amazing for hundreds of reasons.

I've recognized plants and animals from home in these woods. Leeks and wild onions grow on the riverbank, jays and sparrows nest in trees and raccoons and rabbits root around in the undergrowth. Some are different in minute ways. I've seen Ravens hunt in flocks for example and mosquitoes tend to avoid me for some reason.

Some I recognize for different reasons.

There are monsters here. Honest-to-god monsters, pulled straight from myth and legend. I've fought a Chimera and battled a Bugbear. In a swamp miles south I saw a great, multi-headed lizard that could only have been a Hydra. There have been other things, things that I can't readily identify. Like a starry-hide bear deep in a cave or a colossal winged shape that swooped over my camp and set Banjo into a fit of barking. I even saw a massive mustachioed monstrosity cavorting in the broader parts of the river, seemingly singing to itself.

My first thought at seeing that? What does a River Serpent even sing about?

* * *

Raj waded in the fast-moving river carefully, searching for a wide flat stone. He probed carefully with his hands, slowly inching his way deeper and deeper.

His finger flared with pain and he reared back, flopping gracelessly into the water. He felt something gnawing and suckling at his digit. In a panic he clutched it and ripped it off, throwing it at the bank.

The little body smacked into the shore and bounced up, landing in a sprawl in a rock.

It was a frog, a large frog, but still just a frog. Raj saw it and let out a nervous chuckle, wiping at his brow. He felt an odd chill and looked at his hand. A thin band of lighter flesh sits just above his first knuckle.

His eyes darted back to the frog and he saw a thin line of gold poking out of the corner of its mouth. It croaked in what Raj perceived as a mocking fashion and hopped back into the water, closely followed by a diving human.

* * *

Maybe the monsters were normal once, maybe they were creatures as natural as squirrels and birds and deer, but the strangeness of this place changed them. Turned them into something else.

If that's the case, then I am afraid. Afraid I'll become one of them.

I am changing. I can't deny it anymore. Equestria is doing something to me.

I feel... stronger. Faster. Back home I could grab the rim on the hoop above the garage and that was the biggest jump I could manage. Here though? I can hook the back of my knees on a branch three feet over my head. I haven't been able to do a one armed pull-up since I got out of boot, now I can knock out a hundred before breakfast.

I'm being altered, shifted in ways I don't like. If this is what I'm noticing, then what am I not aware of, what could be slipping by? What is happening to me?

* * *

He slapped the flat stone in the center of his car and laid out some logs to dry. A few minutes out of the rain should get the worst of the moisture from the wood, he reasoned. He slipped off his ring and set it in the ashtray, cursing his foolishness for letting something that precious ever be at risk.

With a few minutes to spare, he went to check the Arch again.

It was much the same as he's known it to be since he came here. White and warm, and oddly dry despite the weather. He ran his hands along it, reaching high to grace his fingers along the narrowest part of it and then down the other side. It felt the same as it always had. Nothing had changed.

Standing underneath, he took a purposeful step underneath the white bough. For a moment he thinks he felt something, some tingle, some twinge of energy, some sign that this is what he should be doing.

He's wrong though, and he knew it.

He sighed and leaned against it, slumping down to the base. He enjoyed the tiny amount of warmth he leeched from it. Part of him thinks that's all the blasted tree is good for.

* * *

I realize it is silly to demand that the world follows my rules, because this isn't my world. I've known that since my first terrifying night here when an alien sky full of unknown stars looked down on me.

Am I in another galaxy? The same one but a different arm? Regardless of that, how did I get here in the first place?

How do I get back?

* * *

Raj was sitting in the cab of his car trying to start a fire.

The front seats were soaking out in the rain, discarded. The stone plate sat on a bare section of frame and he was furiously pumping a bow, trying to get even one iota of a spark. Banjo looked on curiously, but not entirely interested.

He stopped and massaged his sore muscles for a moment and then went back at it, winding back and forth with manic speed. He saw a tiny glow, the faintest of embers on the wet wood when he heard a loud snap and the string of his bow slapped painfully into his hand.

Raj didn't scream nor did he curse. He simply slumped and put his hand over his face, his thoughts gone.

* * *

My questions have no answers. They can't. I don't have the tools to understand this place, and even if I did I fear they are beyond my comprehension.

I will continue to ponder though. The alternative is to think of them.

I miss Marielle, I miss Ben. I miss them so much it hurts.

It would be spring by now back home. The flowers by the walk should be in bloom and the neighbors garden is full of tomatoes and zucchini. Ben should be getting ready to finish 7th. He'll be a teenager in a few months. I pray I'll be there to see it.

Marielle, I know you are strong, stronger than me. You are handling this better than I could ever hope to. I promise I'll be home soon.

Please don't let me be a liar.

* * *

The door to the car swung open and let out a rolling cloud of acrid smoke. Banjo sprinted through and makes for the trees, his humor with his master's odd behavior completely evaporated.. Raj stumbled out, coughing and hacking and falling to his knees.

He coughed so hard he's made dizzy by it, black fingers clawing at the edge of his vision. He shook his head and turned around, kneeling at the base of the open door. He started scooping up handfuls of muddy water and threw them into the vehicle. The water hissed and spit off of heated stone and metal.

The fire was quickly out, but the floor of the car is a molten wreck and the padding of the ceiling has charred into black cracklings. He opened the other doors and let the smoke roll out. Even with that, the inside will reek of melted plastic for weeks.

Tentatively, he went back inside to find half a duck sitting in a pile of watery ashes. His stomach roared at him and he pounced on it, pulling off strips of seared flesh with tears in his eyes.

His home was burned, his lungs were soiled, and he was tired, wet, and cold, but he was not hungry.

* * *

I can't keep this up. There's too much. Everything I have is dwindling. I'll make it through today, but that's just today.

Four months. I've been trapped here for four months.

How long until I find something poisonous and it kills me? How long until some fantastic creature gets the drop on me and rips my guts out? How long until I misstep on a rock and break my leg, dying of exposure a week later? Another month? Another two? Or will it be tomorrow?

I have to persevere, I have to keep going. Keep fighting, keep hunting, keep surviving.

There is nothing else to do.

The One Where Ponies Show Up

When Raj woke up there was a pony in his car.

Well, not exactly in his car. Her head was poking through the flap he used to replace one of his windows, but the distinction was not something Raj was prepared to care about.

His eyes snapped open at the sound of a sudden inhalation and he saw a powder blue face dominated by wide, steel colored eyes. He saw her, screamed wordlessly, and swung a leg, making contact with something. He heard a panicked shriek and a thump followed by alarmed barks from his startled dog and thudding hooves.

He bolted upright too fast and struck his head on the bare metal roof of his car. He spewed a curse and dropped.

Banjo did his job and barked madly for the next several minutes until his canine brain told him to settle. His duty done, he snorted and ambled back to his cushion, walked in a few circles, and laid back down.

The whole time Raj was on the ground, palms clutching his head and his face in an agonized grimace. He murmured at Banjo but lost the words of it to the ringing in his ears. Eventually he sat up and moved his hands, hissing at the pain. He unraveled his patka and removed the comb, letting his hair spill down his back. He pressed a palm to the growing lump and it came away covered in splotchy crimson.

He sourly said “And today was going to be such a good day too.”

He quickly made his way to the river and soaked himself in the feeder pool. The water was cooler that day and it felt sensational on his scalp. The soak helped with the swelling though not the pain, but he could manage that on his own. He bathed his body and combed his hair, making sure to go over everything quite thoroughly since he knew he wouldn't be able to do so again for a long time.

Back at his camp he treated himself using the flip down mirror and a bottle of superglue. The wound shut with a bit of effort and few salty curses, but he wouldn't be able to tie up his hair for a while. He resigned himself to the next few days of feeling like an animal and tucked the lengthy mess of his hair down his back.

With the immediate concern taken care of, he could no longer avoid thinking about the fact that he just kicked a random stranger in the face.

It happened so fast. One moment his mind was sleeping and the next he felt like he was under attack. He tried to console himself with the fact that it wasn't as bad as it could have been. If a weapon was on hand he could have instinctively struck her with that, but that just made him feel even more nervous that relieved.

He sat on the bumper of his car and drank some water. Yesterday's rain has abated into a dreary drizzle that was more annoying than inconvenient. It left the ground soft though, and he could see the path that the pony made as it approached and looked around his camp. He could even see where she hit the ground, scrabbled to her hooves, and then sprinted off.

It was at that moment he realized that the pony could be hurt somewhere.

“Aww crap.” He cursed himself and started moving with purpose, grabbing his staff and a few other supplies. He tied Banjo's leash and started jogging through the woods, following the fleeing pony's obvious trail.

Her steps moved north in a meandering path. As he moved he slashed trees with his knife, giving him a line of markers to follow back. He moved at an unwise speed, trying to catch up to the panicked pony.

After an hour of travel, he found himself on the edge of the Everfree, and then sprinting beyond it. It was the first time he'd ever been beyond that border.

He could no longer convince himself that this was all about finding out if the pony had been hurt. If it had the verve to move this far, this quickly, then any injury he inflicted couldn't be significant. He knew that he's already unwelcome here by his very nature and he that he shouldn't press the issue of his being in this place on anyone else.

He refused, however, to let legitimate first contact between their species start and end with a roundhouse.

* * *

There isn't a great deal that Zecora told him about this world. Less still that he fully grasped. He understood there were ground ponies, ponies with magic horns and ponies with wings. He knew this place was called Equestria, that ponies inhabit and rule it, and that there was a town of these creatures not far from the Everfree.

Knowing that something was there was very different from seeing a cozy little cottage perched over a brook.

“How did ponies build that?” He wondered out loud. The walls were made of some white material, adobe or stuccoed brick. The roof was domed and bright green, obviously sod, with many arched windows. Raj approached closer and saw dozens of hanging animal houses, each crafted beautifully. A yard was framed by a bracketed fence and a large, wire chicken-coop held a dozen of the idly clucking birds. He tried to imagine a pony making even one of these things by mouth and hoof. Every picture he conjured up was simply too ridiculous to be real.

There was a bit of movement in a window and his eyes snapped on it. He spotted something blue before it ducked out of sight. Perking up his ears he could make out some voices from the inside, likely two ponies speaking. He stepped closer and focused, pricking up his ears and listening. The noises resolved into muffled speech.

“-ome for me oh no, oh no! What do we do?” It was a female voice, youthful and high and heavy with worry.

A mumble replied to her. He couldn't get the words but could clearly tell how soft her tone is. The first one said back “Well then, you go out there!”

There's a moment of quiet, save the merry chirping of dozens of birds. Raj lowered himself to the ground and sat with his legs crossed and his staff laid across his lap, trying to seem nonthreatening.

The split-door creaked open slowly and a yellow muzzle peeked out followed by a shock of brilliantly pink mane. She saw him and nosed the door open fully.

Her mane and tail were longer than any of the four ponies he's seen, long enough for both to pool on the ground and make her look even more diminutive by comparison. No pony was particularly large to him, but this one seemed tiny by even their standards, her eye level more or less even with his while he was sitting. She gave him a vulnerable smile and slowly started to trot over. He shifted uncomfortably in his stance, nervous.

She got within a few feet and stopped, flaring a pair of sunny yellow wings from her sides. Raj almost jumped, having not noticed the appendages on her approach. Seeing them now, he had no idea how he missed it. With her wings up, he could see the trio of pink butterflies marked on her flank.

The yellow pony was close enough to reach out and touch. Raj felt anxious, frightened even. His palms sweat, his guts churn.

She smiled wider, bringing it up into her eyes and said “Hi.”

Raj blinked. He didn't know what to expect, but he didn't expect that, just a simple greeting. He wasn't disappointed, it was just... anticlimactic.

She stepped forward again. “Don't be afraid, I won't hurt you.” Her wings fluttered a bit. “I'm Fluttershy.”

He thought about the word for a second, thinking it was some form of adjective and tried to extract its meaning before he realized it was this pony's name. Fluttershy.

She moved next to him, placing a hoof on his arm. He flinched but she kept her warm, paradoxically-soft hoof where it is. “What's your name?”

He voice almost cracked when he said “Um, Rajrishi.”

“Oh!” She started in surprise “You speak Celestial Tongue! Wonderful!” She smiled, showing pure white teeth. “Well Rajrishi, are you hungry? Do you want something to eat?” He shook his head, not sure if he trusted his voice. “That's okay.” She leaned in and nuzzled his shoulder lightly.

He felt like he should say something, but couldn't figure it out. Instead she perked up and sniffed audibly. That turned into a gasp and she said “Oh my, you're hurt!”

“What? No I'm not.” He brushed the side of his head with his fingers and pulled them away bloody. He grumbled “This again?”

Fluttershy pulled back, hooves clutched to her chest. “Oh my, oh no, oh goodness! You need to get inside!” She grabbed his arm and flapped her wings, trying to lift him from his seat.

He obliged, but only because he planned on standing anyway. “I'm fine Miss, let me go, I said I'm-” he ripped his arm from from her grasp “-fine!”

She flitted over, hovering just above his head. “Oh, but you're not fine. You're bleeding! You might need a compress, or stitches, or skin grafts!”

“I just bumped my head earlier. Nothing major.” He waved her off. “I didn't come here for medical treatment, I came here so I could make sure that pony-” He gestured at the blue mare staring wide-eyed out the window of the cottage “-was uninjured and so I could apologize for striking her.”

“Oh, Minuette was fine, just a little startled. You know, it wasn't nice of you to hit her like that.” Her eyes narrowed in an almost-glare.

He glanced aside. “She, uh, she startled me. I, um, reacted poorly”

She settled to the ground “Well, I'm sure she'd like to hear your apology. Come inside and you could tell her.” She started to canter away, swishing her pink tail. He hesitated a moment before his curiosity overwhelmed everything else and he walked after her, ducking through the door and into a vanilla-scented living room.

The entire first floor was mostly one large room, a side dominated by a large hearth. Raj guessed that it also doubled as a stove based on the assemblage of pots and pans hanging from nearby hooks. Thankfully, the roof was high enough for him to stand, likely owing to his host's wings. Fluttershy pulled a blanket off of a ludicrously small couch and patted a hoof on it.

Raj looked at the micro furniture skeptically and slowly eased himself down onto it. It groaned under his weight but held. He let out a breath and leaned his staff against a nearby wall, not at hand but within reach.

Fluttershy smiled again and lifted off with a single flap. “Now stay right there while I get Minuette.” She then dashed upstairs.

Shuffling and the clopping of hooves came from the loft. He could hear murmuring speech but couldn't make out any words other than 'no'. He sat patiently, lightly tapping his feet and tracing the tiny stairs and creature warrens that lined the walls. He saw a few small eyes peering at him from the walls, curiously studying this new visitor.

He felt a light thumping on his ankle and looked down to see a comically little rabbit rapidly smacking him with its hind leg. The creature saw that he'd noticed him and grunted, changing tactics to trying to pull at him. His tiny feet slid out from under him and he fell on his fluffy tail with a soft squeak.

Raj stared at it in confusion, totally at a loss. “Um, hello?”

The rabbit pointed with a claw further down the couch and hopped angrily, almost hissing.

Raj cocked an eyebrow. “Am I in your spot or something?” The rabbit started to bob it's head.

It was his home and Raj didn't like the idea of displacing one its residents, but he didn't like the idea of being bossed around by a rodent either, so he came up with a better idea. “How about a compromise little guy?” he reached down and grabbed the rabbit by the scruff of its neck and set him down in his lap. It squeaked in protest for a second but ceased when Raj starts to lightly scratch the base of the little creature's neck and his body relaxed into the sensation.

A few moments later the stairs creaked and Fluttershy strolled down them. She spied the two of them and her face split into a wide grin. She cooed “Aww, did Angel make a friend?”

“I guess so. Mostly just wanted him to stop kicking me.” His other hand joined in, scratching the hump of his spine and the little bunny positively melted.

“Oh, look at him.” She looked back upstairs “Minuette! See, even Angel likes him!”

A blue head and neck poked down the stairs, scanning the room. Her eyes settled on Raj and her pupils widen enough that Raj could see it from his seat. She whimpered slightly, shuddered, and took the first tentative step down the stairs.

“Don't worry, he's not going to hurt anypony. Why, I bet he's a big softy once you get to know him.” Raj resisted the urge to disagree with her and simply returned her grin.

Raj tried to lift his hand to give a gentle wave but found that when he moved either of his limbs Angel would grunt and latch on, pulling those heavenly digits back to his fur.

The sight of him scratching the normally ornery bunny was enough to coax Minuette the rest of the way downstairs. She set hoof on the green-wood floor and gave him a shaky look.

He got a good look at her. The coat was what he remembered, but her mane and tail were two toned, one a darker shade of blue and the other an off-white. A matching horn barely poked out of her mane, yet another feature his sleepy mind didn't catch.

There was a dark spot on her face just below her eye and when he caught it he felt a sudden surge of guilt.

She lifted a hoof and anxiously scratched at her other foreleg, looking away from him. “Um, hi.”

“Hello.”

The three of them sat in awkward silence for a minute, all except Fluttershy trying desperately to look everywhere but at each other.

She eyed Raj carefully. “Rajrishi, isn't there something you'd like to say to Minuette?”

“Yes, yes there is. I'm, uh, I'm sorry I kicked you in the face. Are you okay?”

She raised a hoof to the bruise and lightly touched it, wincing minutely. “Its nothing, I'm fine.”

“Are you sure? I don't remember very much, but I think I got you pretty good.”

Minuette's hoof hit the ground again and she cocked her head to the side. “What, what's that supposed to mean?'

Raj started to fumble for an answer but was cut off. “So!” Fluttershy clapped her hooves together, slicing the tension. “You two seem to be getting along great, I'll get a fire going.”

Fluttershy fled across the cottage and the tension returned. For a long while the only sound in the room was Angel's purring as he rejoiced in Raj's ministrations.

It was Raj that broke the tension first. “You're, uh, your name was 'Minuette'?”

“Yes, that's, that's correct. Yours was 'Rojreshi', right?”

“Rajrishi, Roj-ree-shee.” He corrected for the millionth time in his life.

“Oh, okay.” She turned away, grimacing slightly.

Another nugget of awkward silence. Fluttershy clattered with something on the hearth, drawing their collective attention for a scant second.

He lifted Angel and set him on the floor, much to the creature's dismay “I was, startled okay. I was asleep and you woke me up very suddenly. I... I lashed out on reflex. I'm sorry.”

Minuette lifted an eyebrow “It was 'Reflex'? You attack ponies on reflex?”

He choked. “No, no, not just ponies-” The words left his mouth before he could clamp on them.

“What!” Minuette replied, her tone laced with alarm.

Raj closed his eyes and pursed his lips, waiting a moment before he said anything. “That was not what I meant to say.”

“But that's what you said, that you hurt ponies and other things on reflex.” Her ears flattened and she lowered her head defensively “So what did you mean to say?”

He opened his mouth and let it hang, not sure how to respond. He thought for a few seconds before murmuring “I-I thought you were a threat.”

“Well, I wasn't. I was there gathering plant data for a research project and I was curious about your strange house.” She planted her rump on the floor and glared. “So what are you anyway? Some kind of violent monster from deep in the Everfree?”

“No, I'm not from the Everfree, I'm from... elsewhere. I'm a human.”

“Hoo-man.” She sounded it out and made a face like she didn't like the taste “Never heard of them.”

He shrugged “That's not surprising. As far as I can tell I'm the only one.”

“Oh.” the wave of relief that passed through her at hearing that was not lost on him. “So what are you doing here anyway?”

“Apologizing to you.”

“No, no.” She shook her head “I mean what are you doing here, in Equestria?”

That one he knew the answer to right away “Trying to find my way back home.”

“Well I hope you find it very quickly.” Raj thought he caught something in her tone and wondered if she just gave him an implied insult, but decided to not rise to the possible bait. Instead he just nodded and smiled, muttering halfhearted thanks and brushing rabbit fur off his pants.

Fluttershy flapped back over, a case held in her mouth and a tray held on her hooves. She laid the tray on her coffee table and said “Ah fout evurpahny wood loike tea?”

Raj tilted his head “What?”

Fluttershy spat out the case. “I said: I thought everypony would like some tea.” She looked down at the set of ceramic cups and a pot.

“No thank you Fluttershy, I should be getting home actually.” Minuette stood up and flicked her tail.

Fluttershy frowned “Oh, so soon?”

“Yeah I'm afraid. I have to meet Twinkle at home.” She turned and started walking, opening the front door with her mouth. “Thanks for the help today, and for looking at my face.”

“It was no problem at all.”

Minuette smiled and darted her eyes at Raj still on the couch. She lifted a hoof and gestured for Fluttershy to come closer. The Pegasus drifted towards her and Minuette whispered quietly, but loud enough that Raj could barely hear “You could smell that, right?”

Fluttershy replied in equally hushed tones. “I know, its fine though. He has a wound that's still bleeding.”

“Yeah, but it was on its breath too. Is it bleeding from the mouth too?”

Fluttershy gasped “I didn't think to check!”

Minuette facehoofed, a display that Raj could barely suppress laughing at. “No, that's not what I meant. Just, just be careful, okay Fluttershy? You don't know what this thing is.”

“Thank you, but I'm not worried. Taking care of animals is my special talent after all.” For some reason she tilted her flank, showing off the butterflies stamped there.

Minuette said nothing more and trotted away. Fluttershy shut the door and came back over to the table while Raj tried to look inconspicuous. She settled onto a little stool and whipped her bangs away from her face.

Raj moved to stand. “Actually, I should go as well.”

“Oh, but I just made a whole pot of tea!” She grabbed a teacup and held it out “Do you not like Marel Grey?”

He caught the scent drifting off the drink and made no effort the suppress his look of excitement. He wanted to make a comment on the awful pun she just made or question why the teacup had a handle on it if ponies have no fingers to grasp it, but the prospect of something to drink that's flavored with something other than dirt was too enticing. He took the cup and sipped it greedily, reveling in the bitter and rich taste.

He leaned back into the couch and savored it “This is wonderful Fluttershy, thank you.” After a few seconds he went to refill it, but a hoof set on his hand.

“Ah ah ah” Fluttershy chastised “No more tea yet. First, let me take a look at that wound.” She held up the case from before, a large red X marked on the front. The fact that ponies and humans use the same symbol for medical care was not missed by Raj and he made a mental note to be flabbergasted by that later.

“That's not really necessary Miss, it's not that serious.” He pressed at the bump and found that the spot was still hot and wet and his entire palm came away crimson. He stared at that with something like contempt for a second and said “M-maybe I need a second opinion.”

She just gave him a comforting look and laid a towel on the armrest of the couch, gesturing for him to lie down.

He did so, crushing the balloon of strands his hair had puffed up into under his back. It pulled a bit, but he felt surprisingly sanguine with that. He tensed a bit when he felt warm hooves exploring his scalp, but settled down again when he heard soft humming come from the yellow mare.

This went on for a minute before Fluttershy clicked her tongue. “This wound is dirty, and big! What happened?”

He lazily said “Hit my car with my head.”

“Well, I don't know what that is, but you shouldn't hit it anymore. You need stitches or this won't close properly.” She got up and started rummaging in her kit.

Raj yawned, tired all of a sudden. A thought came to him “Wait, are you a doctor?”

“No.” She said around a mouthful of gauze.

He tilted up to face her “So... do you know what you're doing?”

“Well, I have done this before. After all, I'm the Chief Animal Caretaker in Ponyville.” She settled again over his crown, smoothing out his hair with a hoof.

“Pony-what?” He dreamily asked.

“Ponyville. That's the town here silly. Now hold still. This might hurt.”

If he heard her, he gave no sign. Instead he just lazily murmured “Ponyville...” again and drifted off.

Thing in the Woods

For the second time that day he woke up, though much more pleasantly this time.

His eyes creaked open and he let out a blissful sigh that transitioned into a yawn. He shifted on the cushions and breathed deeply of a pleasant, floral scent in the air. The humming blanket he's under was warm and cozy as he tried to drift back to sleep.

Lucidity struck him like a truck. His eyes snapped open and he bolted upright.

A flurry of small creatures flew off of him and onto the couch and floor amidst a flurry of annoyed squeaks and chitters. A few of the more tenaciously slumbering animals remained on his legs and lap, Raj's consciousness being outside their sphere of concerns.

He surveyed his unfamiliar surroundings, hyperventilating. He didn't remember where he was, why he was there, or even what day of the week it is. He put a palm on his head and swung his legs off the edge of the couch, dislodging the last of the critters that were sleeping on him.

A small rabbit looked up at him from the coffee table, its tiny forelegs crossed and something like a glare knitted across his brow.

He stared at it for a second and a flood of images spilled across his brain all at once. Car. Knife. Chimera. Zecora. Pony. Fish. Blood. Pony. Fluttershy. Dog. Equestria. Home.

“Right, right. I'm in Equestria.” He lets out a shuddering breath and tried to calm the roar of blood in his ears. He sniffed and rubbed his eyes. His gaze shifted over to the framed windows and he saw the sun coming in at a different angle, several hours difference at least.

“God, what was in that tea?” He grabbed the empty teacup and sniffed it, trying in vain to detect whatever substance put him out like that. If there was any chemical there, he couldn't detect it.

He stood up on stiff legs and wandered across the room, looking for his host. The only sign of her he saw was a plate of eggs and tomato slices set next to a trough of water. A note sat under the plate. The writing was short but he couldn't make anything out of it anyway. Raj got the impression that the food was for him, but was leery of anything else that Fluttershy might be offering. He decided to avoid it and kept walking through the small cottage.

The backdoor had been left open, likely to accommodate the dozens of small animals that were practically underfoot. He got the urge to just leave right there and even set a foot out the door before he stopped himself. He knew nothing about these ponies, but he got the feeling that Fluttershy would go looking for him.

He scratched at his head and his nails grated along heavy stitching. He suddenly remembered the head-wound he suffered that morning.

After an awkward few minutes spent searching the house he managed to find a bathroom and ducked into it. He instinctively reached for a light-switch and immediately cursed himself. He eventually put hands on what felt like an old kerosene lamp and got it lit. He jumped at the sight of a giant, mangy beast out of the corner of his eye. He made it all the way to a ready stance before he realized it was his reflection.

Raj relaxed and chuckled in embarrassment, bending and spreading his hair to get a look at the cut. It was closed up and clean with no seepage or crusting. He counted eight stitches in a neat line flush to his skin. He was impressed she managed that with mouth and hoof. Satisfied, he took a good look at himself.

Four months of hardscrabble living had given him a reflection he barely recognized. His features were pinched from starvation and his eyes were bagged and shot through. His attempts at cleanliness had all but failed; a thin patina of grime shaded his already dark skin and his normally smooth hair had gone lank and greasy. He tried to even it out with his hand and only then noticed his long, cracked nails. He sniffed and wondered what he smelled like, then realized that he was better off not knowing.

He muttered to nobody “God, I look like crap.” He ran fingers through the thick mat of hair covering his face and grimaced when a small parasite dislodged and fell into the tiny sink. “No, I am crap.”

Thankfully, the basin was full and he splashed water on his face, blinking and shivering at the sudden cold. He slurped some, swished, spat, and then swallowed some down. Refreshed he then looked around the little room.

It was surprisingly similar to a human restroom, just sized and intended for small horses. Wall mirror, medicine cabinet filled with bottles he couldn't understand, bowl of dried flowers, cleaning stuff, oddly large tub, even a toilet. It was not unlike a gravity-fed squat toilet from Earth, he noted, but with places to put four limbs. He briefly considered using it but was unsure it would hold up to a creature of his size.

As he stepped out of the little lavatory he picked up a loud, tittering laugh. A moment later he heard the door creak open and the sounds clarifed.

Rajrishi rounded the corner and saw Fluttershy smiling and chatting with another pony behind her. At first he thought it was the same one he saved in the woods, but he then realized the coat's a lighter shade of purple, lavender if he didn't miss his guess, and her mane was a pink-streaked blue with a slender, twisting horn poking through it.

She caught sight of him and her eyes widened, large eyes widening in curiosity. “Oh, wow, you were right!” She tittered in excitement for a second and said in a whisper “Is he, uh, safe?” Fluttershy gave a short nod and the purple unicorn grinned wide and stepped closer to get a look at him “It seems similar to certain breeds of ape! Does it have a name?”

“Of course. Rajrishi,” She gestured a hoof toward him, surprising him with her flexibility, “this is Twilight Sparkle. Twilight, this is Rajrishi.”

“Charmed.” He waved lazily

Twilight smiled and lashed her tail. “Oh my, it really can talk!” She stepped forward and spoke very slowly, drawing out each syllable “Can you understand me?”

Raj cocked an eyebrow. “Um, yeah.”

“Oh wow, you were right! A non-hoofed species that knows Celestial tongue, this is incredible!” She clapped her hooves together in excitement.

He shrugged “Thanks?”

“Simian bone structure, clothing seems hoof-made.” Twilight murmured to herself, leaning closer to his arm for a better look. “Hmm, very thin coat, likely doesn't insulate much.” She ran a hoof along his skin.

“Hey!” He jerked his arm back “Watch it.”

“Oooh, high sensitivity to touch. Indicates strong nerve function and low amount of insulating fat.” She stepped around his back, studying his legs.

Raj looked at Fluttershy with a glare “You mind telling me what's going on here?”

Fluttershy ignored the glare and spoke softly “Twilight is going to look you over to see if she knows what you are.”

“Is that so?” He said while Twilight studied his hand with unnerving intensity.

Fluttershy nodded “Yup, she's the smartest pony in Equestria. If she can't find out what you are then nopony can.”

“I told you what I am, I'm a human.”

“Right, but that doesn't tell me anything about you. What you eat, what you need, how to take care of you.”

He looked very surprised at that. “I... I don't really need anybody to take care of me and would you please stop that!” He directed the second part at Twilight, who was in the process of toying with his wrist.

Twilight stepped back and smiled nervously. “Okay, I should be writing this down anyway.”

Raj turned to look at Fluttershy but snapped back when a magenta glow suffuses Twilight's horn and a similarly glowing book and pencil glided out of her bag. The notebook flipped open and the pencil started to scribble on the floating pad.

Both ponies said something to him, but he ignored it, instead staring at the magicked items floating in the air. He pointed at them and asked “What's this?”

“Hmm?” Twilight's eyes flicked to the spell she's working. “Oh, I'm just taking some notes. Don't mind me.”

“I know what you're doing, but why-how is it hovering?”

“Um, a simple levitation spell?” She simpered “Well, if you want to get into specifics its a multi-thread levitation spell combined with an auto-scribe spell. Its a simple enough thing to manage, but maybe a little complex for some Unicorns. I actually run a workshop on teaching how to multi-thread once a month. Its amazing how useful something like two spells at once can-”

Raj cut at the air with his hand “No, wait, wait, spells? So this is magic?”

“Um, yes? Yes it is.”

Raj looked chagrined “Like, magic-magic?”

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Yes, magic-magic, something that all creatures do to a-” She stopped mid sentence, realization dawning in her eyes “Ohhh, you've never seen horn magic before!”

“Um, no I haven't.” Raj drooped a bit, feeling embarrassed for a reason he couldn't pin down. “I knew it existed, I'd been told about it, but this,” He gestured to the floating pad and pencil “this is new to me.”

“Never... seen... horn magic.” She scribbled that phrase and underlined it. “Alright, that should give me an idea of where to start on figuring out where it's from Fluttershy. Probably somewhere south where it's typically warmer, maybe Zebrica or Saddle Arabia judging from the dark skin.”

“That's great Twilight.”

She tucked her notebook in the saddlebag “I'd like to take some samples, but I have enough to get started. I won't be able to offer any input until I do some research, but I think I have everything I need to learn where Rajrishi comes from and what it is.”

“How long do you think it'll take?”

Twilight shrugged “Shouldn't be long, it is rather distinctive. There couldn't be that many species of lingual bipeds without tails.” She chuckled, the very notion of such a creature funny to her. “I should get to that actually. Bye Fluttershy.” She swiveled and trotted out the door, shutting it with a burst of magenta magic.

Raj watched her go and scowled. He opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by Fluttershy when she took to the air, hovering directly in front of his face. “Stay here a minute, I'll be right back.” Before he could answer she flapped over to her pantry and started rooting through the cupboards inside. He watched her heap a bowl with fruits and vegetables and flap it over to him. She set it down and nosed it closer to him. “Alright, eat up!”

He gave the bowl and the Pegasus an appraising look before saying “What is this?”

“Apple quarters, diced carrots, sliced cucumbers and a shredded head of lettuce.” she went crestfallen for a moment “You do like those, right? I can get some nuts or something for you if you don't.”

“No, its not, its not that. I'm just a little leery about, y'know, food from you.”

Fluttershy's face shifted with worry and she said “Why?”

“Well, you don't have a good track record with that. I mean, that tea was spiked with something. Had to have been.”

Her eyes darted back and forth furtively. “Um, what tea?”

He looked at her wryly and gestured to the table “The tea you gave me this morning. I had some of that and I was out like a light.”

Fluttershy took a nervous step back, biting her lower lip. “I'm not sure I know what you're talking about.”

“I'm won't be mad Fluttershy.” He said evenly.

She worried at the floorboard with a hoof and stutters “You-you promise?”

“Of course.” He sat and rummaged in the bowl. It was a half truth, but he didn't think she needed that clarification.

“Oh, okay. It was just a little sleepweed juice. Perfectly safe and natural.”

“Glad to hear it.” He took a bite out of an apple chunk, chewed, and widened his eyes. “Wow, that's really good.”

Fluttershy smiled and settled to the ground, legs curled up underneath her. “I'm glad you like it.” Raj held a piece out to her and she plucked it from his fingers.

“So why'd you slip me that stuff anyway?” he asked between bits of carrot.

“Well, most of my animal friends get fidgety or angry when I have to help them, and that can hurt them even worse. So I just give them something to help them sleep. Its safer for everypony.

Raj nodded his head slightly. “Makes sense. I imagine its pretty hard to put a cast on a badger or something when he's in pain from a broken leg.”

Fluttershy's eyes drifted down. “I don't like to do it, but I don't really have a choice.

“There's just one problem though.” He said while wiping his hand on his shirt.

“What's that?”

“I'm not an animal.” He pulled himself to his feet. “I should go.”

“Oh, um, but-”

“Thank you for the tea Miss Fluttershy.” He turned on a heel and strode toward the backdoor.

Fluttershy rose to her hooves and said “But you didn't finish your food.”

“I had my fill, thank you.” He swung the top half of the split-door wide and moved into the backyard.

She trotted after him “B-but I've already made up a bed for you to use. Its next to the chicken-coop.”

“I already have somewhere to stay, thank you.”

She sputtered “But, but I-”

He cut her off tersely, not even turning to look “Thank you Miss Fluttershy. Your help has been appreciated.”

She followed after him a few more steps, spitting out half formed excuses to keep him before her eyes widened and she zipped back into her cottage.

Raj watched her go and grunted, resuming his pace.

He was just about to plunge back into the Everfree when a feathery ruffle and a light thud of hooves sounded behind him. He heard a meek voice say “Um, hi again.”

Raj sighed, placing a hand on a nearby tree. “Fluttershy, I appreciate what you are trying to do, but I do not need your help. I am doing quite fine on my own and I do not want the aid of a-” He cut himself off as he turned around, seeing Fluttershy standing there with his staff in her mouth, her head cocked shyly.

She gently set it on the ground and said “Um, you forgot your stick.”

He wanted to smack himself, hard. With his knife broken, the Ironoak staff was the best weapon he had and a useful tool besides. Forgetting that was incredibly boneheaded. He settled on running his fingers through his hair and said “That's, wow, I completely forgot about that thing.”

“I'm sorry.” her head drooped “You've made it clear you want to be left alone, but I saw that you didn't have your thing and I didn't know if you didn't want it anymore, or if-”

He stopped her with an upraised hand “Stop, it's fine Fluttershy.” He stepped forward and knelt, grabbing the staff. “This thing is important and I'm glad you reminded me of it. Thank you.”

“Oh, good. You're very welcome then.” She smiled sweetly, her wings fluffing a bit. Raj nodded and started walking again. He made it a handful of steps before Fluttershy cantered up next to him. “Um, maybe you should come back to the cottage and make sure you didn't forget anything else?” She spoke with a wide grin tinged with hope. “And maybe while you're at it we could see about getting you a nice bath and maybe a trim for all that fur.” She tilted her head at the thick tangle of hair bobbing on his back.

His face went dour for a second and he said “Fluttershy, I am not baby bird or a raccoon or something, okay? It is not your job to take care of me.”

“That's not, um, that's not-”

He pointed his staff at her “Do not try that.”

“Well, um,” she rubbed at her foreleg with a hoof and looked to the side “Well, if you have something against being one of my animal friends, maybe you'd like to, if you don't mind, be just a normal one?”

Raj raised an eyebrow “A normal what?”

“A, um, normal friend?” she asked with a painfully demure smile.

Rajrishi sighed, his eyes going soft. “Oh Fluttershy, no.”

Her smile disappeared and she wilted into the ground. “Oh...um... okay.”

“I'm grateful for what you've done, but that changes nothing. I'm going to be leaving, soon I hope, and when that chance arrives I won't have time to say anything or to do anything. I'll just be... gone. And I don't want anybody, any friends, wondering after me.”

He leaned against a tree, settling his shoulder against it. “I'm not an animal you need to take care of or another Pony you can shower with kindness. I'm just...” He bit his lip, thinking “I'm just a thing in the woods. Something it would be best for you to forget about.”

Fluttershy went stock still, staring up with painfully wide eyes. For a moment Raj thought she might actually listen to him when she shot up and broke into a gallop, leaping up at him and slamming her weight into him. Her forelegs wrapped around his stomach, locking in a tight hug. He stumbled back wide-eyed and said “Gah! What-”

“I don't believe that for a second,” she said, her voice muffled by his chest. “not a single second. Nopony deserves to be forgotten Rajrishi, no matter what.” Her head tilted up and she locked gazes with him, a sparkling line of moisture under each eye “Even if they're only here for a little while.”

He lost his balance and dropped to his knees. “Fluttershy...”

“I hope you change your mind, and you're welcome back if you do, but even if you won't accept my help, even if the only thing I can give you to make you feel better is a hug, well then I'll make sure its the biggest, nicest hug I can give!” She squeezed a bit harder and swept her wings in for more contact.

He lifted an arm, hesitated, and then clutched the shivering pony. She needed this, not him. That's what he told himself. It was to make her feel better.

He wasn't the first one to let go though.

Such a Nice Day

He knew that it was likely due to the species of the bird, or even the free-range nature of them, but a small, wicked part of Raj's mind decided that stolen eggs just taste better.

Those thoughts and many like them passed through his head, as well as numerous unrelated ones. The layout of his house, how long it'd been since he changed the gas in the lawnmower, the roster for the 2010 Panthers. Anything to keep his mind off of how high off the ground he was.

He reached for another branch, firmly grasping it before daring to go any higher. His boot slipped on a smooth limb and he let out an un-manly shriek before finding his footing again. Now still, he let out a shuddering breath and relaxed the muscles in his stomach. He took a look down and immediately regretted it. He was high up enough that Banjo, who was curled up at the base of the mammoth tree, was no larger than a quarter.

Raj clutched at the tree, breathing heavy and fighting waves of fear pounding through his veins. This was the third nest of the day and the fear had gotten no better. He muttered to himself “God I hate heights.”

It was a few minutes before he got going again. Despite his trepidation he was making progress. Just a few branches above him was the nest, settled in the Y of a limb.

He straddled the branch and scooted along it, using his hands to push himself. Every two or three slides he had to dry his palms, but he managed. Inside the nest was a clutch of six eggs, each one about the size of a tennis ball.

His mouth started to water and he he wiped a line of drool off his chin. There was enough there to keep him sustained for a few days. They would also keep, he wouldn't have to eat them quickly to avoid them going bad. If he used what he gathered intelligently he wouldn't have to forage again for another week.

Five of the eggs disappeared into his bag, one left in the nest to keep the giant birds that laid them in the area. He considered leaving more, hoping that the birds would lay more and he'd be able to come back, but the terrified adrenaline that was pumping through him advised against it.

He was all packed up and started to descend when he heard a noise, faint and clipped. At first he thought that it was the massive hawks that laid the eggs but then dismisses it when he realizes its his dog. He peered down, fighting off another wave of vertigo in the process, and saw that Banjo was up and barking at something he can't see.

“Banjo! Calm down! Bad dog!” he shouted at the canine, but he was too high up for him to hear. Even if he wasn't, Raj was fairly certain that Banjo would ignore him out of willfulness or idiocy.

He descended a few more branches and shouted one more time but failed to get the dog's attention. As he watched Banjo went sprinting off into the woods, quickly out of Raj's sight.

Raj started spewing vulgarities and climbed down with alarming speed. He could still faintly hear his dog barking his head off, which he took as a good sign.

He hit the ground, shrugging off his bag and snatched up his staff all at once. He spent a second righting himself and started after his dog's barks. The noises quickly got louder, indicating that he was drawing closer, and he could also make out the high pitched shriek of whatever he was chasing.

He was expecting to find Banjo with his face perched above a hole, barking at a terrified rodent. Or, more worryingly, some giant monster gnashing on his dog's hide. He wouldn't even be surprised to find nothing at all, just Banjo standing in a clearing, his quarry escaped from him or having never existed at all.

What he was most certainly not expecting was to see a tiny, white Unicorn herded onto a high rock.

Banjo had his front paws pressed against the side of the stone, barking at the distressed little horse while she frittered and nervously stamped her hooves, screaming and crying in distress.

Raj stood dumbfounded for just a second before looking at his dog and said “Banjo, down!” The dog ignored him, continuing to bark at his trapped quarry. Raj stalked forward and grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and hissed “Down.” Banjo shut his muzzle and obeys.

Banjo's silence did nothing to calm the scared filly, and she kept hollering her little head off. Raj was actually impressed by the pipes on her.

Raj let out a breath and smiles as warmly as he can. He said “Hey there.”, trying to sound genial. It had no effect, the little filly continuing to panic and fret. Raj shrugged and rapped his staff against the rock in an effort to get her attention.

“Huh? The little pony was shaken from her stupor and she looked around nervously, just then noticing the human standing at the base of her perch.

Raj put his smile back on and repeated “Hey there.”

She crouched, bringing her face low to the rock. “Oh, um, hi.” Her voice showed trepidation and her eyes never left the dog laying at Raj's heel.

“Are you okay sweetie? Did my dog scare you?” Raj knelt and put a hand on Banjo's neck, absently scratching it to keep the animal calm.

“No, I'm fine, he's just... really... um...”

“Big?” Raj offered. The little pony nodded and Raj chuckled lightly. “Yeah, he's a big 'un, but he's harmless, I promise. He just really likes the sound of his own voice.”

Her eyes narrowed. “So, he's not going to eat me?”

“No, I can assure you of that.”

“Good.” She hopped down gingerly and shook her mane and tail to dislodge the bits of forest that littered them. “I was starting to wonder how I was going to live the rest of my life on a stupid rock.” Her voice cracked on the last syllable and she giggled.

One thing that Raj knew was that ponies are not large creatures. Zecora's the largest one he'd seen and she only just came up to his chest. This one doesn't even reach his mid-thigh, smaller and maybe half the weight of his dog. She was small enough to fit in a backpack, he mused, and the mental image of such made him laugh.

She tilted her head and looked at him quizzically “Did I say something funny?”

Raj put a hand to his forehead and chuckled helplessly. “No sweetie, just thought of something funny. Don't worry about it.”

Her eyebrow cocked “And another thing, how do you know my name?”

“What?”

“You keep calling me by my name, but I don't remember telling it to you.” her eyes narrowed into something like an accusatory glare.

That line of inquiry was cut short when they both here a raspy, girlish voice echo out of the woods “SWEETIE BELLE!”

The aforementioned filly stepped forward and shouted back “Scootaloo, Applebloom! Over here!”

A moment later a swatch of purple mane poked out of a patch of undergrowth followed by a rusty-orange filly with tiny wings. That one was quickly followed by an equally sized yellow pony wearing saddlebags with a brilliant crimson mane and tail and a comically large bow pinned to the back of her head.

They started to trot over and the orange one rasped “Oh, wow, you found him!”

“Yeah, well kinda. His dog chased me onto this rock and he followed him.” she gestured a hoof back to Banjo, who was still obediently laying at his master's heel. “That still counts, right?”

“It sure does!” Says the yellow one in a deeply southern accent, specifically Georgian if Raj didn't miss his guess. “Now we could take him back to Twilight and earn our Cutie Marks!”

“Cutie Mark Crusader Cryptozoologists! Yay!” All three of them yelled in unison, making Raj wince at the sudden noise.

Applebloom nosed around in her bag for a second and pulled out a short length of rope. She drawled “Well, let's get going.” She reared up and spun the lasso a few times before snapping it forward, looping it on Raj's wrist. She pulled at him, grinding her tiny hooves in the dirt and grunting out “C'mon, c'mon!”

Raj didn't know whether to be amused or annoyed by this, but settled on amused when the rope slips out of her mouth and she plops into the dirt. He laughed and uncoiled the length from his arm “Okay, what's all this about? Who are you three?”

“Oooo, neat! It can talk! Oh, I'm Scootaloo.” Said the orange one proudly, her tiny wings fluttering a bit.

“Applebloom.” muttered the yellow one while she coiled up the rope once again, already considering trying to lasso Raj again.

“And I'm Sweetie Belle!” spoke the white unicorn, her voice cracking joyfully on her own name. “And together we are...”

The three of them leaped together and each stabbed a hoof skyward, crying in unison “The Cutie Mark Crusaders!”

“We're on a quest to find our special talents!” said Scootaloo.

“And earn our Cutie Marks!” added Sweetie Belle.

The whole display was almost too much for Raj. He managed to chuckle out “I'm sorry what?”

Apple Bloom sighed like he was missing something painfully obvious. “We're tryin' to find out what our special talents are, what we're supposed to be really, really good at.”

“Duh.” Scootaloo added unhelpfully.

“And what does that have to do with me?” Asked Raj, still entertained by the precocious girls.

Sweetie Belle stepped in “Yesterday, we were in the library trying to find out how we could try fire-eating when we heard Twilight talking about some undiscovered creature living in the Everfree Forest she saw last week.”

“Yeah, she seemed real excited 'bout it, kept talking about 'common ancestry' and 'chromozooms'-”

“Chromosomes.”

“Whatever, and was complainin' bout wanting to see it again. So we figgered that if we could find it and bring it back to Ponyville, we'd have helped Twilight discover a new critter.”

“And maybe we'll finally earn our Cutie Marks!”

All three fillies stared up at him, hope sparkling in their large eyes. Raj cocked an eyebrow at the three of them. “Uh huh, do your parents know you three are out here by yourselves?”

The evasive looks and sunken posture the fillies dropped into was all the answer Raj needed. “Thought so. Run along home little ponies.” He turned about and started walking away, clapping his hand against his thigh to summon Banjo with him.

He made it less than five steps before Scootaloo zipped in front of him, a playful grin on her face. “Not so fast big guy, alright, get him girls!”

All three Crusaders let out high pitched cries and dove at him. Scootaloo wrapped her forelegs around his knee and pulled only knocking herself off-balance in the process. Applebloom once again shot her lasso, wrapping it around his arm again and starting pulling with all of her little might. Sweetie Belle somehow got herself up his back and tangled around his neck, trying to pull him into submission.

“C'mon, we got him now!” Said Applebloom, her voice muffled by the rope in her teeth. The three renewed their assault, pulling and twisting with no discernible direction.

“Is... was this really happening?” asked Raj, once again caught between amusement and annoyance at the antics of the little fillies. “This is actually happening, I'm being attacked by children.”

Banjo barked and hopped about, mistaking the attack on his master for play. Scootaloo shouted “Augh, his dog's helping him! Sweetie Belle, now!”

Sweetie Belle shifted herself and wrapped an elbow around his head, covering up his eyes. She squeaked “He can't see, finish him!”

“I'm on it!” Scootaloo shouted and bit his leg, hard.

That one hurt. He shook his leg, flinging Scootaloo away onto her back where Banjo proceeded to furiously lick her face. Raj grabbed the rope and pulled, bringing Applebloom close and lifted Sweetie Belle off his back, holding both the fillies aloft at face height, he bluntly said “That is enough.” He lowered them to the ground and pointed his staff in the general direction of Ponyville. “Go home.”

Sweetie Belle scrambled to her hooves, “But, our Cutie Marks-”

“I don't care.” He sneers “I am out of patience. It is already late and your parents are probably worried about you. Go home. Now.”

“You can't tell us what to do!” Defiantly shouted Applebloom while she stomped a hoof.

Raj loomed over the little pony “I crap bigger than you girl, I most certainly can tell you what to do. Banjo!” He tersely shouted for his dog, beckoning it away from Scootaloo. The orange filly stood up, her face streaked with dog slobber. She numbly walked over to her companions, staring up at Raj. “Now you three are going to leave right now and never come back here, is that understood?”

Applebloom clearly wanted to say more, but was forced back by her two friends. Sweetie Belle was the first to speak “Okay mister, we'll go home. Sorry to bother you.”

Raj relaxed, letting the etched look on his face fade. “Its fine girls, no harm done.” A beat passed “Well?”

“Oh! Um...”

He tilted his head. “Go on. Get.”

Scootaloo had something more to say at that but was once again pulled away by her two companions. The three trotted in the direction of the town and Raj lost them over a small hill.

He waited a minute more to make certain the three were gone before starting to trudge back to his camp, hoping his bag was still where he left it. He muttered “Damn kids, running around in monster filled woods alone. Who does that?”

Banjo arfed lightly.

“Well, besides me.”

* * *

Getting back to his camp took the better part of the day, leaving only a little over an hour of daylight left to finish what was left of his chores. He gathered water, stowed food, and checked the Arch. With those tasks done he slapped a pair of cleaned, headless fish on a flat rock in the fire to fry.

Raj lowered himself onto a sunken log, hissing at a sudden pain from his leg. He pulls up his pant-leg to see a curve of square bruises where Stootaloo bit him. He frowned and cursed, layering a bit of Zecora's ointment on them to head off any infection. He made a note to check it again in the morning.

His thoughts drifted to the little fillies. He wasn't mad at them, just annoyed, and maybe a little exasperated at their childishness. They live near these woods, they had to know how dangerous they are, he reasoned. He needed to be harsh with them. In fact, he probably shouldn't have humored their little assault as long as he did.

Maybe he should have just gone with them. The way they talked these Cutie Mark things are important, and somehow his presence could help earn them. At the absolute least he could have walked them out of the Everfree, made sure they didn't get jumped by something.

“What do you think Banjo?” The dog lifted his head up “You think we should have walked them back to town?”

The dog looked at him with something approaching curiosity for a second before going back to trying to move the popping and hissing fish with his thoughts.

“Bah, you're no help.” Banjo ignored the insult and continued to be a dog.

Just as the skin on the fish was starting to crisp and brown both Raj and Banjo perked up at a noise from out in the woods. Both were on their feet in a second, Raj with was staff and Banjo slinking back. Raj had long since learned that anything nocturnal in the Everfree was always dangerous.

He revised that lesson a moment later when an off-orange filly stepped into the flickering firelight, a wide grin on her face. “Hiya mister!”

Raj's eyebrow shot halfway up his forehead “What?”

Scootaloo called back over her shoulder “See, I told you this was his fire.” the other two ponies followed after her, showing similar smiles.

“Hey, you were right. Oh, hi Banjo.” Squeaked Sweetie Belle. The animal in question trotted forward and sniffs her face before giving it a friendly lick.

“Why are you three here? Did you get lost?”

“Nope, we followed ya!” answered Applebloom, pointing a proud hoof at Raj.

“You three followed me? Through the Everfree?” said Raj, his tone showing utter disbelief.

“Yep, it was Scootaloo's idea.”

“Totes!” boasted the little Pegasus.

“She figgered that if we couldn't getcha back home, we'd just have to learn what we could by watchin' ya in your natural... uh, natural-”

“Its environment.” offered Sweetie Belle.

“Ah was gettinto it!” She shot back at her friend. “We'd have to learn what we could by watchin ya in your natural environment, like real Crypto-majiggers. Oh, was that enough, is it there yet?”

At that the most curious thing yet happens. Both of Applebloom's friends dart forward and intently examined her butt, hmming and squinting at it. Sweetie Belle even went around to inspect the other side.

A thousand and one crass jokes came to Raj's mind, but he held them back.

“Nothing.” rasped Scootaloo.

“Dangit. Well... no big deal, we just have to do more.”

“What? No nonono.” Raj shook his head “This had been more than enough, I'm taking you three home right now.”

“Awwww.” All three groaned in unison.

“Don't 'awww' me, this is what I should have done before. I'm going to take each of you home and personally tell each of your parents what naught little girls you've all been!”

“But-”

“No buts, now move!” He pointed his staff...

...into the close darkness of the Everfree Forest.

His face fell. He's not sure how but he managed to forget that it was pitch dark, not even a bit of light filtering through the canopy of giant trees surrounding them. It would be a journey of hours just to get to the edge of the forest from his camp, much more in the dark. The idea of moving three boisterous little girls through the Everfree at night was not something that would be safe for anyone involved.

He sighed “Scratch that. We'll leave first thing in the morning.”

“Cutie Mark Crusader Critter Sleepover!” all three once again shouted in unison.

“Oh my god!” Raj recoiled, clutching his ear and cringing. “Do you three rehearse those or-”

“Oooh, what's this?” asked Applebloom as she taps a hoof against the side of Raj's broken car.

“I think it's his house.” answered Scootaloo as she pressed her hooves into one of the deflated tires. “But how did he make it?”

“Oo ooh! I know!” Sweetie Belle lifted a leg and waved it around, like she's eagerly waiting to be called on in class. “Maybe he's like a bee.”

“He's not like a bee silly, he doesn't have any wings.” Scootaloo paused “At least, I don't think he had any...” She turned to Raj, eyeing him up.

“No no no, I don't mean he's like a bee, maybe he built it the way bees make their hives.”

“What, with tiny hammers n' stuff?”

“What? No, with spit.”

“What? You can't make stuff out of spit.” Scootaloo declared “Believe me, I've tried.”

“No, you can. The bees, like, chew on wood and stuff and mix with their spit” She mimed hawking something into her hooves. “and then they mold it into stuff.” She works her hooves around like she was molding clay and then grinned at her friends.

Applebloom and Scootaloo looked at her incredulously, shared a glance with each other, and then looked back at Sweetie Belle. “Nope, not buying it.”

“It's true!” cries Sweetie Belle, her voice cracking on the last word. “Ms. Cheerilee told me when we went on that field-trip to Whitetail Woods!”

The girls continued to bicker back and forth like that, their childish voices piercing the serenity of the woods. Raj ignored them, settling back near the fire and dragging his makeshift frying pan out of the pit.

He scraped Banjo's share off and tossed it in his bowl. The dog immediately lost interest in the little fillies now that food was available and he scrambled over to it, eating the offering with the kind of exuberance only a hungry puppy could muster. Raj smiled at the display and ate his own meal at a more sedate pace.

He was halfway through his meal when he realized that he had an audience. The girls had migrated closer to the fire and seemed to be doing their best to not watch him to eat, but were failing miserably. Applebloom even edged closer to inspect his plate, taking a few sniffs that set her stomach to rumbling

After a few more intensely observed bites he asked “You three hungry?”

Applebloom rubbed a foreleg. “Well-”

“Oh sweet Celestia yes!” interrupted Scootaloo as she hopped to her hooves.

He huffed slightly. “Wait here.” He fetched his cooler from where it was nestled in a tree and popped the lid, showing a bounty of harvested berries he'd gathered the other day. “Go ahead, eat up.”

“Blackberries, thanks Mister!” chirped Scootaloo before scooping out a hoof-ful of the sweet fruit and messily devouring it. The other two descended on the bounty shortly.

Raj looked on at the little ponies with wan amusement. He knew how long it took him to find all those berries and how far he had to go to get them. Sharing would knock an entire day off his rationing schedule.

Scootaloo trotted over to him, muzzle and cheeks sticky with juice and jaw still busy chewing. She swallowed loudly and asked “Um, do you have any water Mister?” She grinned, eyes sparkling and little seeds stuck to her teeth.

He smiled. One day was worth this, he decided.

“Sure thing little one.” He fetched a trio of bottles from his trunk and offered them to the girls who greedily gulped them down.

A little while later the cooler sat on its side, empty. The three little fillies are sprawled out near the fire, half comatose from stuffing themselves like they would never see food again.

“I think we overdid it.” groaned Sweetie Belle as she stretched out, resting a hoof on her slightly distended belly.

“Nah. Well, maybe a little.” Applebloom then belched with surprising verve, startling everyone present. She blushed “Eh heh, um, pardon.”

“Good one kid.” Raj chuckles and tossed another log on the fire, sending a wave of sparks twisting into the air. “You three good?” He got a trio of nods. “Alright, be right back.” He rose to his feet and walked a little deeper into the woods.

He picked his way to the only thing visible in the shrouded woods, the Arch.

He ran his hands along it again, feeling the warmth of the bark and its odd smoothness. He held it, seeing if the light had changed or the glow had intensified. He probed for any difference, any alteration to the it. There was none.

“What's that thing?” asks Applebloom from a few feet behind him.

He shouldn't be surprised that one of them followed him, but part of him still was. “The Arch, or at least that's what I call it.”

She steps closer and tentatively touches it. “Oooh, it's warm.”

“Yeah.”

“And pretty lookin`.”

“That too.”

“What's it do?”

He took a moment to ponder that one. “It either does nothing, or it could send me home.”

Applebloom looked quizzical “Seriously?”

Raj shrugged. Applebloom scanned around for a moment, got bored, and wandered back over to her friends. Raj took another few minutes checking over every inch of the Arch. Finding nothing new, he trudged back over to the fire.

He was on the edge of the firelight when he heard something other than the crackle of the fire or the girl's speech. A light brush or maybe a shift in the wind. His eyes flicked to the side and he's certain he saw the edge of something slither by in the darkness.

Raj managed his gait, keeping his strides even like he didn't see anything. He didn't want to alert whatever was out there or the girls. The only sign of wariness he gave was when he picked up his staff.

“Girls?” He said as he walked over to the fire “Go get in the car.”

“What's a car?

“That thing.” He gestured to the wrecked vehicle.

“Oh, you mean your beehive.” squeaked Sweetie Belle.

“Silly, he's not a bee.”

“So, would it just be a hive then?”

Raj grimaced “Yes, whatever, get in the hive.” The girls stood up and started to move.

The only warning he got was the collective rush of air from all three girls inhaling at once. He took that as the warning that it was and dropped into a low crouch.

He felt something pass over him, close enough for the hairs of its chest to graze along his back.

The thing flew far, sailing over the fillies arrayed in front of him, landed with a quiet thud and kept moving. Raj only caught the end of a reptilian tail before it retreated beyond the edge of the firelight. Banjo was up and making up for his inattention by filling the night with his mad barking.

Scootaloo shouted “What was that thing?!”

“I don't know! It was so big!” was Sweetie Belle's frightened reply.

Raj cut off their panic and commanded “Hive. Now.”

The girls sprinted to the metal structure, Raj scanning the area for the... whatever it was that tried to take his head off. Banjo followed as well, knowing the tone of voice his master uses for commands.

Raj threw open the door and practically tossed the little ponies into it. He slammed it shut and leaned in through the busted window. “Do not leave this thing for any reason. Understand?” All three nodded to him, fear burning in their eyes. “Good. Don't worry girls, I'll take care of this.” That seemed to reassure them somewhat and he walked away from the car.

His guard was up and he kept his stance light, ready to switch facing in a moment. The thing caught him unaware once, but he knew that it can't do that again. He just needed to keep on his toes and he could drop this thing. He beat down a Bugbear and challenged a Chimera, he could handle this thing.

A guttural growl sounded from across the campsite and his head snapped on it. The thing slunk into the firelight, eyes practically glowing while it stared directly at him and licked its chops.

Raj had no idea what this thing was. It was roughly his size, but horizontal and lean. Its head and chest looked feline, covered in shaggy blue fur, but its legs and tail were coated in smooth, overlapping purple scales. A ridge of spikes ran along its spine and down its lithely flicking tail. It stalked around the fire with easy grace, staring intently.

“Oh, I know what it is!” cried Applebloom.

“Applebloom, shutup!” hushed Scootaloo.

“But I've seen one of these things before, its a, uh, Chupa... Chupa...”

“Chupacrabra?” offered Sweetie Belle.

“Yeah, that's it! Chupa-thingy, hey mister, that's a Chupa-whatever-Sweetie-said!”

“Thank you Applebloom. Stay in the car.” he tonelessly replied, never taking his eyes off the creature.

It continued to circle, appraising Raj. He didn't circle with it, unwilling to let it get between him and the fillies. He kept his staff out, knowing that he'd need to use his greater reach when it lunges.

But it didn't lunge, it just kept moving, circling, keeping his face one way. Distracted.

He turned his neck to aim his ear backwards and was barely able to hear a scrape on the forest floor. He slid the grip on his staff and pushed it back, using the way the thing jumped earlier as a gauge. His aim was on the mark and the tip of his staff caught it in the chest, right above the transition from fur to scales. The Chupacabra tumbled through the air past him, hissing and spitting. It hit the ground ungainly but managed to get its feet beneath itself before it stopped rolling.

It slid to a stop beside its ally and coughed, the wind likely knocked out of it. Side by side, Raj saw that they looked almost identical aside from the ridge of spikes on the one he struck showing as a deep black instead of purple.

Scootaloo gasped “There's two of those things?”

“Yeah.” he muttered as the pair slunk back into the woods, melting into the darkness. “And today was such a nice day too.”

Savagery

The Chupacabras would need to displace, leaving him little time.

Raj shuffled to his woodpile and started tossing logs haphazardly into the fire. The timber caught quickly, spreading more illumination around the camp.

The fire flared into brilliance, giving Raj a second to notice the eyes watching him from the shadowed edge of the forest, less than ten feet from his position.

Reflex took over and he jumped back, the end of his staff coming up. It was unnecessary, the Chupacabras knew that they had been seen. The pair faded further back into the woods to get to another position.

Tension leaked out of Raj as he lost sight of the creatures and was quickly replaced with cold fear. Ten feet. The things managed to get within ten feet of him at full alertness on a forest floor. He saw one of them clear that distance in a jump and then some. If the fire hadn't flared at that exact moment, they would have killed him. Simple as that.

He needed protection, he realized. He couldn't count on detecting them.

Raj made his way to the back of his car and popped the trunk. He kept his attention on the area around him while he blindly probed the compartment. After a few seconds his hand settled on smooth leather and he yanked the article out.

He pulled on his heavy leather jacket and fumbled with the toggles for a few frightful seconds. It wasn't much, but Raj hoped that the extra protection from the beast's stubby claws would be worth the extra heat.

Banjo barked once, detecting something beyond the firelight. The purple-spike creature, the female unless he missed his guess, came out of the forest at a dead sprint, zooming past him in an instant and slashing at his legs. He danced back, barely evading.

Before he could respond she was already gone, fading into the underbrush. He looked after it, trying to track its path.

The other one hit him in the back hard enough to send him sprawling. He struck the ground solidly, his staff jarring from his fingers. Jaws clamped down on his shoulder and held the muscles, locking the joint. He felt short claws grip into the leather on his back.

Raj screamed and reached back, blindly palming at the Chupacabra's face. He grabbed an ear and twisted but got no result. He kicked at the ground and tried to roll, but the Chupacrabra's legs were planted, holding him in place. His gaze flickered around, searching for something, anything, to help him. All he saw was a pair of reflected eyes, the female Chupacabra circling back on him. Panic gave vigor to his struggles but he was unable to shake free.

The creature was close enough that Raj could count the whiskers on her cheeks when Banjo struck. A black blur darted in at her back half, locking jaws around the scaly rear leg and pulling with all his canine might.

She tripped, sprawling into the dirt and letting out a throaty growl. Banjo moved out of range and lowered himself, barking and snarling. The Chupacabra answered, its focus now on the dog.

Raj shifted his hand lower, finding his captor's eye. With a shout of effort he plunged his thumb into his skull all the way up to the second knuckle. The Chupacrabra's jaw opened as it screamed in pain and rage. His other arm free, he planted it on the ground and rolled the sputtering beast off of him.

By the time he'd risen to his feet the creatures had already retreated a few body-lengths back. They regarded him and Banjo for a second and drifted back into the darkness.

“Hey mister, are you okay?” asked Scootaloo from the busted window of the car.

He opened the door and pointed, ushering Banjo into the vehicle. He said “I'm fine. Get back in the car.” That was a lie, Raj was most definitely not fine. He still couldn't quite feel the arm that the Chupacabra clamped down on and his breathing had a wheeze to it that he found worrying. His back ached where the thing bowled into him and where it ripped at his coat. He didn't even want to think about what it would look like if he hadn't been wearing it.

It took him a minute to figure out how they did it. They were lying in wait together. One made a strike and fade out the other side of the camp while the second waited for him to follow after the first. The second pinned him to the ground so that the first could double-back and finish him off. Effectively, they executed a sneak attack from the front.

It was brutal and practical and beautifully applied, and the only reason it didn't kill him was luck. That fact cut into him like a cold knife.

Staying in the open was not an option. He needed some sort of bottleneck, some way of hemming in their mobility. He pressed himself against the fire-side wall of the car, reducing their avenues of attack. He kept his head on a swivel, avoiding looking directly at the fire to keep his vision from washing out.

He could feel the fillies in the car shuffling around nervously and making scared little noises. He offered a reassuring hush to them that did nothing to placate their fears.

He stood there long enough for the fire to ebb down and the sweat on his skin to go clammy. The aches from before settled onto his bones like a heavy cloak, dragging him down and making him slouch. He dared to hope the things had moved on to better prey since he injured one.

Raj was a moment away from moving to re-stoke the fire when the girls started screaming and he heard a snarl from the other side of the car.

Adrenaline burned through him and he leaped up, kicking off the base of the car window and twisting in midair. He sailed over the roof of the car and had a second to realize that the female Chupacabra had her head and foreleg shoved through the opposite side of the vehicle before he landed on its purple-spiked back.

The Ironoak Staff fell away and he grabbed handfuls of bristly fur, twisting the struggling creature into headlock from behind while it shrieked in pain and surprise. The Chubacabra bucked and writhed but she couldn't slide her chin past his arm. The scaled tail swept up, trying to lash at his back but it couldn't reach.

Grunting in effort, he pulled one arm back and punched her where he thought a kidney should be. Pain flared in his hand when he hit, the overlapping scales cutting into his knuckles.

He planted his feet and lifted himself and the writhing creature up. He planted his palm on its ear and swung his whole torso, bringing the thing's head down on the frame of the window with enough force to warp the metal.

Raj straightened, shouted, and brought it down again, and again, each time expanding a greasy smear that oozed down the side of the door. Quickly the entire side of her head was a stick mass of matted fur.

On the seventh hit he heard a snarl of rage come from the darkness and he turned, presenting his hostage to the charging, one-eyed Chupacabra. The beast was already in mid-pounce and crashed into its mate, crushing it against Raj and Raj against the body of the car.

He relinquished his hold and pushed, launching them away from him and into a tangled heap. By the time Raj has picked up his staff and turned back to them, they've already vanished back into the woods. Raj stomped and shouted after them wordlessly.

Both the creatures were hurt, one likely for the rest of its life. He'd made it abundantly clear that neither him or the fillies are easy prey. He was confident that the Chupacabras would back off.

That confidence shattered when he heard Sweetie Belle shout “Applebloom, come back!”

Terrible panic ripped through him and he looked in the car. The opposite door was hanging open and Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle were looking through the rear window at Applebloom as she sprinted away into the darkness.

“Stay in the middle!” He shouted at the two fillies as he broke into a stride. He shouted “Applebloom! Stop!” dipping into his soldier voice. He was loud enough to be heard for miles around, but it did nothing to cut through Applebloom's fear-addled mind. He cursed his carelessness and followed as she made for the only thing she could see, the Arch.

Applebloom galloped underneath it, limned in pale light. She ground to a halt, her chest almost bursting from the depth of her breath. Sweat clung to her coat as well as a thin trio of cuts along her side. She frantically whipped her head around, searching for something that could help her.

She didn't even see the Chupacabra as it loped at her. Raj could, by the light gleaming off its one remaining eye. He was bobbing in the shadows for a moment before it lifted up, taking to the air. If it landed on the unsuspecting filly she wouldn't even be alive long enough to be surprised.

His boots churned up dirt, but he knew he wasn't fast enough to get to her in time. He shifted the grip on his staff and hurled it with a scream of effort. The pole whirled forward and cracked the leaping Chupacabra squarely in the temple. It let out a startled yelp of pain and curled in midair, losing tension and purpose. The wounded beast flopped gracelessly onto the scared filly, who let out a pained whinny as she was suddenly smothered by a mass of dazed beast.

The thing was on top of her for barely a second before Raj dive-tackled it off and they both went rolling across the forest floor. Back in the car, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo cried out to Applebloom, trying to guide her back to safety.

Raj and the Chupacabra slid to a halt in an ungainly heap, Raj straddling the thing's chest. The creature was hissing and spitting, tail lashing at the ground and back legs trying to rake at him, all cunning and predatory nature gone in fearful attempts at escape. Raj hunched, avoiding the worst of the thing's flailing and pushed it's chin up, exposing its neck. He yelled and drove a fist down onto its exposed throat as hard as he could.

The swing threw him off-balance and he pitched to the side, off the creature. He scrabbled back to avoid any sort of counterattack. The Chupacabra was wracked by fits of coughing as it went into a manic frenzy, thrashing and tearing at the ground.

Raj scrambled to his feet, a wave of vertigo plaguing his senses. He ignored it as best he could and stumbled over to a prone Applebloom. She looked up at him, tears flowing from her eyes freely and her bow ripped off. “It scratched me, it got me 'n ah got scared, ah'm sorry, ah'm sorry.”

He scooped her up, saying “It's fine, shhhh.”

“Ah'm sorry, ah'm sorry, ah'm sorry...” She kept repeating the phrase over and over and clung to his tattered coat. He had to yank her free when he got to the car and practically tossed her through the window, much to the relief of the other two fillies as they immediately started to comfort and fuss over her.

Raj moved to the fireside of the car and leaned against the frame, clutching at his aching head. He shook it to try and clear the cobwebs but that only tightened the vice-like pressure in his skull. It was a concussion, no real question about it. Not a bad one, his thoughts were fairly clear and his vision had no blurring, but he wouldn't be having a good time for a few days.

“Mister, look!” Scootaloo shouted, pointing a hoof at the Arch.

The black-spike Chupacabra was still coughing and sputtering, bucking and writhing under the Arch. As he looked the thing slammed its back into the base of the one of the Arch's trees, gouging it with his back spikes.

“No!” Raj shouted, taking a step forward. The thing took no heed to his command and latched onto the tree, ripping curls of bark and luminous wood off it in its death rage. Raj watched with earnest terror as the whole tree drooped to the side as one of its bases was destroyed entirely. Its energy expended, the choking Chupacabra slumped down and was still, claws and face lit by glowing sap.

The creature lay silent for a few seconds before the other one padded into view. She stood for a while before stepping closer and sniffing at her mate's corpse. She smelled death on him, and that realization tore a brazen cry of rage from her throat that scared the Crusaders into shuddering balls huddled in the footwells of the car. She turned on Raj and made murderous eye contact, snarling and sputtering with raised hackles and bared, gleaming fangs.

This wasn't about food anymore, or territory, this thing wanted revenge. It wanted to kill him, kill his dog, kill the girls, and make them all suffer while she did it.

Raj slid his knife out, nervously turning it over in his hands. His staff would have been much better for this, but it'd been hopelessly lost in the dark. The only weapons he had were a broken knife and his hands.

“Mister,” Sweetie Belle squeaked “Apple Bloom's hurt!”

“How bad?”

“We don't know, we can't see.”

Light, that's what they needed, light. The fire had burned down low, enough to destroy his night vision but not enough to fight by. He warily moved over to the still open trunk and rooted around as he talked. “Alright, its going to get bright here in a second. Do you know what to do if she's bleeding?

Scootaloo answered “Yeah, pressure, right?”

“Smart girl. Do that, and stay low, and stay that way no matter what, got it?”

“Y-yes.” Scootaloo stuttered.

He blindly fumbled with the cap on the jug, failing to pry it off. Frustrated, he stabbed at the hard plastic and rent a hole in it. He was rewarded with a burning, chemical stink. Satisfied, he slowly stalked over to the low burning flame and flung a wave of gasoline onto it, creating a high pillar of flame.

Over the roar of heat he heard something. A growl of irritation, from just off his left. He snapped to it and saw the Chupacabra crouched a dozen or so yards from him, its eyes narrowed at the sudden brilliance. It startled and dropped into a sprint at him, moving a bit sluggishly he noticed.

He screamed something incoherent and flung the gas-can at her. It spun once and struck her just past the neck, dousing her in petrol. She didn't care and leaped, claws splayed and jaws wide.

Raj sprung to the side, barely evading a swiping paw. She landed in a pivot, fluid and graceful, and soared at him again. His footing was off so he dropped and rolled, going underneath her.

Some of the damage she had taken earlier made her land in a stumble, her leg giving out under her weight. Raj saw the chance and tried to lunge at her, but she darted back, growling and hissing. She bounced off her back-legs and swiped, scoring a hit on his shin. He shouted and stepped back, favoring his other leg. She pulled away and faded back into the woods, disappearing with barely a sound.

He couldn't engage on her; she was just too fast. That was a problem because time was not on his side. In a minute the gasoline would burn off and then he'd be fighting in darkness. The Chupacabra did not realize that, but she didn't need to. She was too canny to move on him when she didn't have the advantage, even through the rage at the loss of her mate. In fact, the loss of her partner and the injuries he's already inflicted only made her even more cautious.

She wouldn't act without an opportunity, so Raj would have to give her that opportunity.

His muscles slackened and he stood up straight, letting out a slow breath as he did so. He spun his knife, turning it into a forward grip. He stepped away from the car and slowly, ever so slowly, walked to the edge of the firelight.

Looking out he saw his own long shadow and beyond an unyielding wall of black. No starlight filtered down from above, leaving the entirety of the Everfree cloaked in void-dark shadows. Beyond this point of light, the rest of the world may as well not exist.

He closed his eyes, feeling out. A slight moisture clung to the air, a remnant of the day's short rain. He heard a slight ruffle from nearby and thought that it might be a bird but quickly realized it's Scootaloo, shuffling her wings nervously. He smelled fresh water, rotting vegetation, his own odor, and...

Gasoline.

His eyes snapped open and he stepped back, stabbing upward. He caught the Chupacabra mid-pounce, driving the blade underneath her jaw with the unsettling sound of metal shearing flesh. The blunted tip stopped against the roof of her mouth but he kept pushing, forcing her up and over his head. Raj planted his other hand on her belly, grabbing a flap of scales, and swung, throwing her behind him.

It didn't all go well. Her claws managed to sink into the flesh behind his shoulders, pricking muscle, and were then pulled out a second later by her own momentum and the force of Raj's throw. Curls of leather and skin peeled off of his back and trailed behind on the points of the Chupacabra's claws.

The knife slid out of her head and her whole form sailed behind him, crashing into the fire.

Her whole body went up in flames, the gasoline soaked into her hide sparking instantly. She bucked and writhed, rolling off of the fire-pit, little flames flinging off of her melting flesh. Blisters grew and popped on her scales and her fur curled into black ash. The whole clearing immediately reeked of charred meat and burned hair.

And the sound. The terrible sound she made. The agonized, fearful, bubbling scream she released the moment the flames ignited on her. A thousand nails on a chalkboard would not do it justice. The tortured groan of tearing steel wouldn't do it justice. It was, quite simply, the most gut-wrenching noise Rajrishi had heard in his twenty-eight years.

The Chupacabra rolled a few times and rose. She was frantic, confused. Her instincts told her to run so she did, sprinting away as fast as her burning muscles would allow. Raj watched her go, barreling down the hill in the vague direction of the river. She dropped behind some cover and he could vaguely hear a splash a long ways off.

The threat gone, he slumped down to one knee and then fell flat on his face. He gave himself the luxury of a minute of painful wallowing before soldiering back up, grunting and hissing when he flexed his back. He staggered over to the car and leaned in the window. “Hey, girls, you okay?”

Sweetie Belle poked her head out and crinkled her nose. “Something smells nasty.”

Raj smiled tiredly “I bet. Scootch back.” He opened the door and flopped down on the cushioned seat.

“Are ya okay mister? Ah saw that thing getcha.” Applebloom hopped up on the seat behind him.

“Yeah it did.” Scootaloo climbed up alongside her and craned her neck to inspect his injuries. “Ouch, that looks really bad. Maybe one of us should go for help.”

“No.” He said flatly.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” He tilted his head at the yellow pony “What about you Applebloom? Scoot said you took a hit.”

“Oh! Uh, yeah, darn critter got me when it came through the window.”

“Let me see.” She turned to show him the wound. It was small, but not insignificant. If untreated it would certainly scar over. “Hold on.” He retrieved some of Zecora's unguent and slapped it on her rump. The little pony hissed at the sting but didn't complain. After that, he took care of himself, gracelessly slathering the substance on his own back.

Raj slowly walked to the guttering flame, all the gasoline burnt off and most of the wood scattered. He gathered an assortment of logs from the pile and stoked it up to a merry blaze. He rolled a log in front of it and sat down, near enough that the heat tightened the skin on his face. He stared into its heart, showing no expression.

The four of them -five if one counts the dog- sat in awkward silence for several minutes. The fillies staring at his back frittered anxiously. They quietly debated amongst themselves for a few seconds before two of them shoved Applebloom forward. She turned and glared at her friends before gingerly trotting over.

“Uh, Mister?” she gently asked.

“What.” He said flatly, not even phrasing it as a question.

“Oh um, well, me and the girls were wondering if ya'll were alright? Um, are you alright?”

He answered honestly. “No.”

“Oh! Uh...” She looked back at her friends. They smiled and give an encouraging wave. “Okay, was there, uh, anythin' we can do to help?”

He repeated. “No.”

“Well, what should we do then?”

“Go to sleep, I'll take you home in the morning.”

“Well, what about you?”

“Go to sleep Applebloom.”

The filly frowned and stood plaintively. She turned back to her friends who just shrugged at her unhelpfully. Applebloom opened her mouth to say something but the words died in her throat. Instead she hoofed at the dirt and mumbled “G'night.” before turning around and hopping into the car.

The fire popped, a flurry of sparks twisting into the night air. Raj didn't notice, he was occupied watching the slowly fading glow of the Arch as it bled light and hope into the night air.

Not a Good Day

The fillies fell into restless slumber, clinging together in the backseat with Banjo curled up on the bare metal frame beneath them, snoring softly.

Hours passed, images of evil creatures invading their sweet little dreams. They winced and chirruped in their slumber, writhing at the unpleasant images but remained fitfully asleep.

Outside, still on his log, Raj kept sentry. He stoked the fire high and stayed wary for any creature attracted by the sounds of conflict and the smell of blood. He had treated the nearby trees with Zecora's repellent once again but had little faith in it. It failed against the Chupacabras, it could fail against something else.

Morning gleamed its way through the trees, lances of sun stabbing through narrow gaps in the canopy. The world expanded, becoming more than the camp and its echoing violence.

Raj looked up at the invading light and suppressed a groan at the motion, a flare of pain lighting up his stiff neck. He felt dead, but then amended that to very, very sore. He decided that being dead had to be more pleasant than this, otherwise everyone wouldn't do it.

The first place Raj went was to retrieve his staff. That proved easy enough, the item having bounced onto a flat rock not far from where he threw it. The second place he went was the Arch, or what was left of it. The rightmost trunk had been ripped from the soil and torn badly. The telltale warmth that radiated from it was gone, now nothing more than cold, pale wood.

He crouched and ran his hands along the bark, feeling every groove and imperfection he'd grown familiar with over the previous months. There's no spark, no glow, nothing that said it was anything more than a dead tree.

The male Chupacabra, the one with the black spikes, lay dead near the broken stump. Splinters and curls of wood were embedded in its spikes and claws, and a death rictus has locked its face into a snarling grin.

He punched the corpse. Hard. He didn't plan on it, didn't decide to do it, he just did it. He did it again, and then again. Before he'd even thought about it he'd quickly bludgeoned a hole past his wrist in the thing's chest, caking his right hand in gummy, black blood.

Somewhere between five minutes and an hour later he stopped, breathing heavily and with weeping knuckles. The Chupacabra had been mangled into gristly hamburger with wedges of sharp bone protruding. He grabbed it roughly and dragged it deeper into the woods, crudely kicking it into a ravine to be fed upon by worms and rodents.

He trotted down to the river, looking dourly at the stickiness coating his hand. He stooped at the edge and dipped it, hissing at the stinging chill. He wiped his knuckles, kicking off a cloud of blackness that was swept away by the current. He withdrew it to see the darkness has spread to his other hand now.. He scrubbed at them again but found no amount of rubbing will lift the stains.

He grumbled darkly. He wanted this gunk off his hands, but his head hurt way too much to care right then and trudged back up the hill to the car. He rapped a knuckle on the frame and the the pile of ponies in the backseat began to stir. Sweetie Belle looked up at him blearily, blinking sleep out of her eyes. “Huh, wha-” a yawn broke her sentence. “Whuzza, what's happening?”

Raj managed a ghost of a smile “You're going home Sweetie.”

The little filly flicked her tail lightly and set her head back down, squeaking “Yaaaay...” and fell back asleep.

* * *

Many hours, several miles, an adventure crossing the river, a near miss with a timberwolf, and a chafing number of potty breaks later, Raj broke the treeline of the Everfree and looked down on the town of Ponyville.

Sweetie Belle murmured and stirred slightly against his chest. He pulled her close and cooed lightly, lulling her back to sleep. She and Applebloom lost their verve a few hours into the hike, and he opted to carry them the rest of the way, one nestled in his arm and the other poking out of the top of his backpack. Only Scootaloo managed the entire trip.

Raj looked down at the little orange pony and asked “Which way?” She pointed a hoof, indicating the center of town. Raj nodded and started the slow march forward.

After a few minutes he saw movement, something coming at him from the edge of town. Somethings, in fact, their image quickly justifying into the forms of multiple galloping ponies.

“Sweetie, wake up. Wake up.” He shook her lightly, rousing her into consciousness.

She looked around shakily and slurred “Huh?”

“Do you recognize those ponies?” He pointed at the approaching group, holding her up a bit so she could see.

Sweetie Belle looked and her eyes widened. “Rarity!” She twisted and squirmed, leaping from Raj's arms. She hit the ground running and took off. “Rarity, over here!” Scootaloo followed after her, wings fluttering happily. Banjo chased the pair, barking with excitement.

Raj crouched, gently swinging Applebloom around. He slid her out of the bag and settled her on the ground. She yawned and curled a bit, quietly muttering something about more sleep. He ran a hand along her mane and said “Wake up little one, you're home.”

Her eyes cracked just enough to sparkle lightly and she's about to say something when they both heard “Git away from her!” Raj had just enough time to look up before a monstrously large pony headbutted him in the chest, sending him flying.

Raj hit the ground on his butt and went into an ungainly roll, settling on his back in a daze. He groaned in pain and rubbed the point of impact on his chest.

“Applebloom!” an orange mare galloped up to the little filly“Oh mah goodness Applebloom, what did that thing do to you?” She crouched down, looking over the unkempt and bloodied pony.

Applebloom looked up with frightened eyes “Applejack! What's goin' on, why's Big Mac-”

“Hush now, we're takin' care a this.” She grabbed Applebloom by the nape of her neck and sprinted away.

As soon as the two of them were clear Big Mac leaped, landing bodily on Raj. The wind was blown out of his lungs, stunning him for a second. Mac pressed a foreleg to Raj's neck, directly over his windpipe and leaned into it, putting all of his weight on him.

Raj's eyes bugged out and he gasped, fighting desperately to suck in air. He pushed at the big pony's leg but didn't have the strength. He tried to clutch at his face but couldn't find purchase. Raj hooked a few punches into his ribs, but the big pony blithely ignored the faltering impacts. Black spots swam in Raj's vision and he felt fizzles in his head.

Then, inspiration struck. He twisted himself, forcing Mac's lower body off of his torso and swung up a leg, sinking his shin directly into Big Mac's crotch.

The effect was immediate. Mac's pupils shrank to pinpricks and a pained whinny escaped his mouth. He teetered and rolled off of Raj, letting him get a delicious gulp of air and broke into a fit of coughing.

They both stayed there on the ground for a bit, incapacitated for different reasons.

Mac recovered first, staggering to his hooves and groaning in agony. He tried to say something but it came out as a high pitched squeak. He shook his head and swallowed the pain and nausea, setting himself.

Raj rose to his feet, wavering and noisily clearing his throat. He reached down to his belt and slid his broken knife out, turning it around in his fingers. Raj didn't know why this pony was attacking him, why any of this was happening, but he wasn't really in the state of mind to care. He hoarsely rasped “C'mon you big brute, I'll fillet you.”

Mac exploded forward and reared up, flailing limbs at him. Raj backed up, unsteady but managing blocks. He aggressively swiped at an attacking hoof and chopped a hard wedge out of it. Mac neighed in pain but stepped forward, still swinging while Raj gave ground blindly.

The big pony crashed the ground and spun around, bucking backwards with one leg. Raj swayed and stuck to the inside of the strike, but didn't account for the other leg. Mac launched the other hoof at Raj's chest. Reflex took over and Raj twisted his left arm in to block.

The hoof struck his forearm at the median and the bones broke with an audible snap.

Raj started screaming. He fells back and clutched at the break point, daggers of pain tearing through him. His footing failed him and he dropped, hugging his arm.

“'N stay down yah varmint!” slurred Big Mac while he loomed over Raj..

An arm uncoiled from Raj's form and slashed, drawing a thin line across Mac's chest. He cantered back, whinnying in surprise.

Raj's broken arm was tight to his chest and he held his knife offhandedly in a reverse grip, crouched and ready. He was shaking from an overdose of terrified adrenaline and he looked at the giant red pony with mad desperation. His breath came in eager gasps and he slashed again, coming well short but menacing all the same.

Mac snorted and muttered something vulgar. He hoofed at the ground, getting ready to charge again.

“Stoooooop!” A zip of wings, a clatter of hooves and Scootaloo was standing between the two, staring down Mac with conviction. She stood on her hind legs and spread her forelegs wide, shielding him, albeit only up to the waist.

“What're you doin' girl? Get away from that thing!” shouted Mac.

“No!” She puffed out her chest.

“Ah'm not gonna tell you again...” Mac took a purposeful step forward and glared.

Scootaloo didn't waver. “I have no idea why you two are fighting, but you need to stop. He helped us, he saved our lives!”

Mac's eyes widened and he stuttered “W-what?”

“Ask Applebloom and Sweetie, they'll say the same thing. He kept us safe all night and you're hurting him.”

Mac sputtered “But, Applebloom was- he... ah thought.”

Mac's half-formed thoughts were interrupted by a metallic clatter as Raj's knife slipped out of his hand. He swayed drunkenly for a second and dropped, landing heavily on his knees. He palmedthe side of his head as a sudden flare of pain lit behind his eyes and he groaned loudly.

“Oh my gosh! Mister, are you okay?” Scootaloo shook his shoulder, trying to catch his eye.

Raj couldn't hear her over the ringing in his ears. His eyes fluttered wildly for a few seconds and he tried to say something but it came out as a gravelly rumble. He squeezed the break in his arm to try and bring his mind back into focus but he didn't even feel it. He just slumped down on his side, eyes glazed over and passed out.

* * *

He was somewhere dark when he woke up. Dark and cold.

Something soft was underneath him, yielding slightly. A mat of some sort, maybe a thin mattress set on the floor from the feel of it. A blanket was laid over him but it wasn't long enough by half, leaving his bare feet open to the cold air and his heels resting on chilly tile.

He tried to sit up and was immediately struck with a sudden burst of dizziness. He pressed a palm to his head with a groan of discomfort and started in surprise when he felt scratchy roughness on his arm.

Curious, he ran his hand over his arm and found layers of rough plaster covering his forearm up to the elbow. He muttered to himself “It's been cast already? How long have I been out?”

A slight yip announced itself in the darkness, startling Raj again. A cold nose pressed itself against his neck and licked tentatively.

“Banjo. God I hope that's you Banjo.” He got confirmation when he reached out and ran a hand along the dog's scruff. Banjo responded excitedly, nuzzling and lapping at him in excitement. The presence of his pet did much to ease Raj's nerves and he sighed softly into his dog's fur.

Sudden light burned into his retinas and he winced loudly “Son of a-”

“Oh, you're awake. Good.” said a pitched, female voice from the other side of the room. The door snapped shut and she clicked a switch, filling the room with much softer light. Raj took a second to adjust before looking at her. She's the first pony he'd seen wearing clothes, specifically a white polo shirt laid over a sunny yellow coat. Her two tone, light blue mane was done back in a bun and her tail was tied at the base to keep it out of the way. She looked at him with appraising, coffee colored eyes and said “I'm Doctor Flummox.”

“Charmed.” he muttered while still rubbing an ache out of his eyes. “Can I get some water?”

Flummox trotted over and pushed a pitcher and glasses that he hadn't noticed sitting on the floor. He reached for the handle but was stopped when Flummox puts a hoof on his cast, reminding him its there.

“Oh, right. Thanks.” Flummox smiled wryly and poured it for him, passing it to his unharmed limb.

Raj sipped slowly despite how thirsty he was, taking his time to avoid a cramp. He looked around the newly illuminated room. A sink sat against the corner on a thigh high counter-top as well as jars of medical paraphernalia. Tongue depressors, cotton balls, sterile bins, and a large jar of bone shaped, crusty treats. Plastered on the walls were anatomical posters showing an interior view of dogs, cats, cows, pigs, and a surprising number of snakes.

All that, combined with the cheerful animal faces painted on the doctor's flank led him to dourly say “You're a veterinarian, aren't you?”

“Yep.”

“And this is your clinic?”

“That it is.”

“So I'm in an Animal Hospital?”

“Correct, Ponyville's own Sacred Barf.”

Raj settled his head back onto his pillow and sighed. “Fantastic, just... fantastic.”

Flummox stood silently for a moment, looking at him quizzically. “Are you alright mister...”

“Rajrishi, just... call me Rajrishi.”

“Alright Mr. Rajrishi, would you like to know why you're here?”

He lifted his good arm and rotated his hand, snidely saying “Please, illuminate me.”

Flummox ignored the sarcasm and snapped a set of monochrome transparencies onto light panels on the wall. “Well, your arm was definitely broken. That's for sure.”

“Awesome.”

“Indeed.” she pointed at the screen. “The x-ray came out fuzzy for some reason, but I can make enough out. It looks like a clean break, no fragmenting and it didn't jam into itself. I cast it already, so we shouldn't have to worry about that.”

“Is that all?”

Dr. Flummox shook her head “Oh no, no, no. There's much more that's wrong.” She flipped a page on the chart in her hooves. “You've got serious lacerations on the back and leg, pressure cuts on your forepaws, at least a mild concussion, damaged muscles in the shoulder, fractures on at least two ribs, a bruised windpipe, and that's just the injuries. If we look at your condition, it gets much worse.”

Raj groaned, “Lay it on me doc.”

“Well, you're exhausted for one, but you can probably tell that. Dehydrated too, by the look of his mouth. He's badly malnourished and is suffering from such an iron deficiency he's started to get jaundiced, which was compounded by the blood loss. There are also signs of fever, but I don't know what from.” She scanned her clipboard for a minute before adding casually “I think that's all for him.”

Raj cocked an eyebrow “Him?”

“Hmm?”

“You said he, you just started addressing me in the second person. Why?”

Flummox nodded and then started “Oh! Sorry about that, I'm, uh, I'm not used to addressing my patients directly”

Raj rolled his eyes “It's fine. You got any other bad news for me?”

“No, that's it for now, but I'll keep you posted.” said the doctor with a professional smile. “Do you have any more questions?”

“Yeah, why are my hands black?” He held up his unharmed hand, showing the shadowy pigment staining it.

The doctor leaned in, humming lightly while she observes. “Hmm, aren't they always like that?”

“No, if they were why would I have asked?”

Flummox ignored the insult and continued examining “Did you get any Chupacabra blood on you?”

“Yeah, all over my hand. Spread to the other one when I tried to wash it off.”

“Well, there you go. Chupacabra blood stains the deep layers of the skin, turning it black.”

“For how long?” He asks.

“Forever.” She said plainly.

“Forever?”

“Forever.”

“That's...” He cut off a string of words and slumped on his mat “ that's just great.”

Flummox smiled “Yeah, it is kind of cool. Was there anything else?”

“Yeah, where are my clothes?” Over the course of the conversation Raj had gradually realized that he was quite naked, a revelation that had left him feeling quite uncomfortable.

“They're right...” She turned to a chair in the corner and then paused. “They were right here.”

“Well, what about my other things then? My staff, my knife, my comb?”

“Umm...” Doctor Flummox looked around furtively and timidly said “I, uh, I don't know.”

“This just gets better and better.” He sat up, fighting the wave of unease that came with it. “Look, I have to pee. Badly. And I bet he does too.” Raj pointed a finger at his prone dog. “Can you take care of him for me?”

“Sure thing. C'mon boy, who's a good boy!” She crouched down, summoning the black dog over to her. Banjo hopped happily at the attention and she led him out the door.

Raj gathered the meager bedding around his waist, preserving most of his modesty, and stood up. The vertigo wasn't as bad as he expected and he managed to keep his feet.

He splashed water on his face and took a few welcome gulps before taking care of pressing biological needs. He let out a long breath and checked himself.

Its not bad, he thought. Not nearly as bad as what the Doctor laid it out to be. The scratches on his back were stitched up expertly and didn't hurt nearly as much as he expected and the majority of his headache had faded since he'd hydrated himself. His free hand was stiff but most of that felt like it was from the bandages over his knuckles. Deep breaths pained his ribs slightly, but nothing he couldn't manage.

Dr. Flummox was exaggerating, he decides.

A twinge of pain flares from his arm, reminding him of one thing she hadn't gotten wrong. He remembered the sickening crack of his bones breaking when the hoof hit his arm and the razor-sharp agony that threatened to make him black out.

Honestly, that's all that he fully remembered from the walk through the forest. He was pretty out of it by then and all he had a hold on was snippets and flashes.

Raj sighed and sat on the counter. Before he has time to think through options, the door swung open.

A pony he recognized came through, a covered basket held in her mouth. Yellow coat, pink hair, and demure eyes. Fluttershy.

He didn't even have time to offer a greeting before she'd zipped over and wrapped him a bone-crushing hug.

“Oof!” he grunted and rocked back from the force of it. “Hey Fluttershy.” He managed to gasp.

The scared little pony only mewled sadly and crushed her face into his stomach.

He put his good arm around her, settling his hand on her back. “I'm fine Fluttershy, don't worry.” His words only made the shivering pony adjust her grip.

“Really darling, he just woke up. Give him a chance to breathe at least.” The skittish Pegasus peeled herself off of him with a sheepish smile.

Raj looked up at the second pony to trot into the room. She was taller than Fluttershy, but much more lithe and sporting a horn instead of wings. She was coated in spotless ivory and her mane and tail were teased into elegantly bouncy curls. She flashed a winning smile at him and spoke in a pleasant English accent “Good morning.”

“It's still morning?” Raj asked.

She looked at the clock. “For a few more minutes, yes. How are you feeling my dear?”

“Better than I was, Miss...”

“Oh! Where are my manners? I am Miss Rarity.” She said with a polite bow.

“Rajrishi. Charmed.”

She smiled sweetly and said “I'm Sweetie Belle's big sister.”

“Ah.” As soon as she said it he sees the family resemblance. “What about her and the other girls? Are they okay?”

“Quite. A little shaken up but otherwise fine. From what I've been told we have you to thank for that.”

Raj shrugged “I just did what I had to ma'am.”

“Be that as it may,” replied Rarity, hiding her chagrin at being called 'ma'am' “you saved my family, so you have my thanks.”

“Your quite welcome ma'am. Would you mind passing that along to Sweetie Belle too?”

“Why not tell her yourself? If you're feeling up to it I know that she has been anxious to see you again.”

Raj rubbed the back of his head “Um, I'm not really dressed for... anything really.” he looked down at the small sheet covering himself up.

“Goodness, where was my head today? Fluttershy?”

Her friend trotted over to the dropped basket and carried it over to Raj, setting it on his lap. He unfolded the wraps over it and immediately smiled.

“You fixed my clothes,” he held up his pants, looking at the stitched lines along the fabric. He lifted them to his face and inhales the smell of lilacs “and cleaned them! When did you...”

“Shortly after you were brought here actually. The doctor had to cut your rags off to treat you and I saw an opportunity for some recompense. So I gathered them up and with a little help from Fluttershy” she nudged the blushing Pegasus “I managed to get them fixed and cleaned up for you.”

He inspected the garments, running his fingers down the neat lines of stitching. His boots were shined and polished. Even his patka wrap had been cleaned.

“It was not all salvageable I'm afraid. I had to make a new shirt using the old one as a pattern and the jacket was a lost cause. It's in there if you want it, but I couldn't imagine wearing the ghastly thing.”

He pulled the shirt over his torso. “Don't worry about it Rarity. This was awesome, I've been without clean clothes for so long. Thank you both so much.”

“It was the least we could do. After all, it simply wouldn't do for the savior of my family to be clad in rags that were so, umm...”

“Vile?” offered Raj as he yanked pants over his lower half.

“...I would have said 'pungent', but yes.” she said with a weak smile.

Raj let out a laugh that transitioned into a wince and he grabbed at his damaged ribs. “Ah, crap. That one hurt.”

“Oh my, should we get the doctor?” asked Rarity, a tinge of alarm in her voice.

Raj shook his head “No, it's fine, I'm fine.” He shuffled over to the bed and sat on it heavily.

“Are you sure Rajrishi?” Fluttershy appeared at his side, peering at the spot he was holding.

“No, no don't bother the doc. I just need a few days off my feet and I'll be out of everybody's hair.”

“Oh, she didn't tell you.” Rarity went pensive.

Raj cocked an eyebrow “Tell me what?”

“Oh well, there's something of a... complication” she trailed off for a second before finding her resolve. “Well, there's bad news, bad news, and good news. Which would you like first?”

Raj shrugged “My day's already ruined so let's go with the bad news.”

“Well, um, its about how long you'll need to be here.” piped in Fluttershy “Some of the cuts on your back were very deep and there are some... concerns.”

“Concerns?” said Raj worriedly.

Rarity explained “You needed internal stitches darling, more than thirty of them.”

“And she didn't know how you'd react to her antibiotics, so she couldn't chance giving you any. So she wants to check on you regularly to see if you develop an infection.”

“So you'll need to stay on hoof darling, at least for the next few weeks.”

Raj leaned back in his bed and let out a tired sigh. It was not that surprising once he thought about it. “Okay, that's not so bad. Okay.” He gulped “What's the other bad news?”

“You can't stay here.” said Rarity.

He looked up “What?”

“This was a veterinary clinic, not a true hospital. They don't have the facilities to admit long-term patients. Once you're up and able, you will have to leave.”

“Oh, great.” He flopped back onto the makeshift bed and rubbed his eyes tiredly. “What else?”

“There was a bit a good news, like I said. You have another visitor. Applejack, you can come in now.”

The name struck a chord of familiarity with Raj and he pondered it for a second before the door swung open and he saw an orange coated mare in a brown stetson, face dusted in freckles. She smiled kindly and drawled “Howdy partner.”

Raj recognized her and immediately tensed up. He recalled the panic in her voice when she picked Applebloom up and ran away with her, and then the near-deadly scuffle a moment later. His hands clenched on their own.

There was a minute of tense silence before Rarity coughed lightly and said “I think we should go. Fluttershy?” The yellow Pegasus nodded and the two quietly left the room. Raj never took his eyes off Applejack.

She smiled sheepishly and cleared her throat before saying. “Well, uh, first off, mah name's Applejack 'n its a heckuva pleasure to meet ya. How are ya feelin'?”

Raj grumbled “Mostly dead.”

“Heh heh, funny.” She tried to laugh but it faltered when she saw his severe look. She grimaced and fidgeted for a second. “Uh, Applebloom told me what ya'll did for her and her friends, fighting them monsters and bringing the girls back home in the morning. Ah, heck, the whole family just couldn't be more grateful.” she gave a weak smile that hung for just a second before drooping “...and we couldn't be more sorry either. It was wrong o' us to go assumin' things 'bout you just from stories 'n gossip.”

“Stories? What stories?” Raj looked confused for a second before realization dawned on his face. “It wasn't Minuette, was it?”

“Sure was. The next time ah see that mare ah'm gonna give her a serious talking to. She's been prancing all over town this whole last week, showing off that bruise under her eye 'n talkin' like she escaped from some dangerous critter what tried to take her head off.” Applejack sneered and spat to the side “Dang fool of a mare.”

Raj smiled, mollified by her outrage. “I picked up on that from when I met her.”

Applejack hesitated for a second “That was only part of it though. The rest was jess me 'n Macintosh being thickheaded.” She met his gaze “Ya gotta understand mister, we were up all night runnin' around lookin' for them girls. We searched high and low all over town. Heck, ah even convinced a couple of folks to poke around Whitetail Woods and Ghastly Gorge fer 'em. With the state we found their clubhouse in we were sure foul play was involved. All 'o us were scared witless!”

“Clubhouse?” he asked.

“The girls keep a little treehouse on the edge of the farm, fer playin' 'n such. When Applebloom 'n her friends didn't come home, ah checked there 'n the whole place was smashed up, like a fight or somethin' happened in there. Ah thought somepony kidnapped 'em.” She ground her hoof into the floor worriedly “Ah found out a few hours ago it was done by a pair 'o mean little fillies that like to cause trouble. Busted the place up cause they thought it was funny.”

“Some joke.”

“Yeah.”

The two of them were silent for a good long minute, both thinking about what had been said. “So that's it then? Some unfortunate gossip, a ruined clubhouse, and a night of missed sleep led you and your husband-”

“Brother.”

“What?”

“Big Macintosh. He's mah brother.”

“Led you and your brother to try and kill me?”

“He wasn't tryin' to k-kill nopony he was just, afraid. Ah was too. Yah let Scootaloo 'n Sweetie Belle go but yer pooch was chasin' em! Applebloom wasn't moving when yah put her down 'n when ah got closer ah smelled blood 'n then... ah just...” She trailed off, her words leaking conviction. “Ah... ah shouldn't be making excuses for mah behavior. Ah'm, ah'm so sorry.”

Applejack dropped to her front knees and bowed her head, a faint glistening of tears forming under her eyes and a slight shake to her stance.

Raj saw this and sighed, leaning back into his bed and letting the tension he'd been holding fade. “It's- It's fine Applejack.”

She tilted her head up “W-what?”

“You acted the best way you could on the information you had. You thought you were protecting your kin and had good reason to think they were in danger. Bad stuff happened, but none of it was your fault, yours or your brother's.”

“So, yer not mad?”

He shook his head “Oh no, I am definitely mad. Mad at Minuette for spreading lies about me, those fillies for smashing up the clubhouse and worrying you, and at the Crusaders for being very, very stupid, and you can be sure that the next time I see your lunk of a brother I'm going to punch him in the belly as hard as I can. But I am certainly not mad at you.”

Her face split into a grin before she sprang forward, landing at his side and wrapping him in a tight hug. “Oh thank you mister. Hooooweee, it's a relief to hear yah say that.”

“Arm, arm, watch the arm! Ow!” he cried, grimacing in agony.

Applejack backed off “Sorry 'bout that partner, ah was a bit excited.” She looked at the limb he'd begun cradling and was struck by an idea. “Hey, you should come stay with us!”

“Excuse me?”

“Ya obviously need someplace to you can rest at while yer on the mend, 'n we got plenty of space on the farm.”

Raj sputtered “What?”

“It'll be perfect. Ya can stay nearby so the doc can look in on ya, no more worries 'bout monsters eatin' ya, 'n it'll give ya a chance to experience some real Apple Family hospitality! Whatta ya say?” She smiled wide with an odd squeak.

Raj stared at her, thinking. Her offer was genuine, he can tell that much just by the look on her face. His gut check reaction was to turn her down and just leave, but he couldn't think of anything past that. If he went back to the Everfree he wouldn't get a chance to worry about infection, he'd just die. Hunting or gathering would be impossible with his arm in a sling, as would fighting anything. He wouldn't last and he knew it.

Lacking any other option, Raj sheepishly asked “So, um, where's this farm anyway?”

Down on the Farm

It wasn't the tempting smell of waffles that woke Raj up, nor the soft beams of sunlight that shone through the faded blinds. It was the yellow filly bouncing on the bed.

“C'mon, c'mon, wake up! It's time for breakfast!” gleefully shouted Applebloom less than a hands-span away from his face.

Raj groaned and rolled over, covering his head with a pillow and muttering unkind things.

“No ya don't. Up and at 'em Rajrishi!” She grabbed the covers in her mouth and hauls them off the bed. When that didn't get a response she started to lightly headbutt his lower back. “Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!”

Raj sat upright and growled “I'm up, I am up.” He shot his tormentor a bleary-eyed glare that went entirely unnoticed.

“Neat. See ya downstairs.” She hopped off the bed and pranced away, humming lightly.

Raj watched her go and grumbled darkly to himself. He briefly considered lying back down to steal a few more minutes of sleep but he knew what that would cause; either Applejack or Granny Smith coming to rouse him in a far less subtle fashion. The Apple family does not cotton to sloth, he'd learned.

He swung his legs off the bed and stood up into a euphoric stretch accompanied by a chorus of pops and cracks from joints made stiff by sleep. He let out a bear-like yawn and scratched himself with a lazy smile on his face.

He turned to his side at Banjo curled up on a fluffy pillow, looking at him through half-cracked eyes. Raj smiled and saed “I got a good feeling about today Banjo.” The dog whined slightly and closed his eyes. “Bah, what do you know? You're a dog.” The canine ignored the insult and faded back into slumber.

Raj availed himself of the Apple family's lone bathroom, kneeling to use the mirror and bird-bathing himself with a basin of water and a washcloth rather than use their comically tiny tub. A shave was considered, but he vividly remembered his first experience with an Equestrian razor and decided to put it off. He combed out and braided his hair before trying to tie it up into a proper turban, but failed due to the bulky cast over his arm getting in the way. He settled for a patka in orange cloth and called it a morning.

He descended to creaky steps and was greeted by Winona's enthusiastic barking. He gave her a quick scratch and padded over to the table.

“Look Rajrishi, Granny made breakfast!” cried an enthusiastic Applebloom from behind a small mountain of golden waffles.

“I see that.” He lowered into a chair.

“Well, get 'em while they're hot.” Applejack slid a tray of seared asparagus in front of him.

Raj didn't need to be told twice and he tucked into the meal with enthusiasm. Home cooked food was a welcome change from living on bland fish, barely cooked eggs, and whatever he could pull out of the ground.

Granny Smith chuckled “Slow down there young'un, there's plenty to go around.” Raj grunted in response but didn't slow down his pace.

“So what's everypony up to today? Anythin' excitin'?” chirped Applebloom around a mouthful of waffles.

Macintosh grunted at her, shrugging his big shoulders. A surprisingly verbose reply for him from what Raj has observed.

“Hoo doggy do I got a lot of work to get to today!” drawled Granny Smith “Gotta start jarrin' if we're gonna be stored up for the winter.”

Applejack shrugged and said “Nothin' too amazin' sugarcube, just a few chores 'round the farm. What 'bout you?”

“Me 'n the other crusaders are getting our tennis playin' cutie marks. Sweetie Belle got Rarity to talk Ace into givin' us private lessons!”

“Aww, well ain't that sweet, ah'll have to sneak a few extra apples into his bag when he comes by the stand next.” said Granny Smith with a pleased smile.

“Yah don't have to do all that Granny, Rarity said Ace was plenty happy to be helpin' us out. Heck, he couldn't stop grinnin' when she was talkin' to him!”

“Yeah, Ah bet he was grinnin' 'bout somethin' else sugarcube.” said Applejack with a stern look. “What about you Rajrishi? You got some big plans for the day?”

“No.” muttered Raj between bites.

Applejack frowned “Oh um, alright.”

Applebloom excitedly propped herself up on the kitchen table “Do yah got some little plans then?” asked Applebloom with a wide grin on her face before a chastising look from Granny put her back in her chair.

“Nothing worth mentioning.” He wiped his mouth with a napkin and set it on his plate. He scooted his chair back and stood up “Thank you for the meal ma'am.”

“Where ya'll goin'?” asks Applejack.

“Nowhere in particular.” He gave his dog an affectionate pet and started sliding on his boots.

“Nowhere? What are ya'll gonna do when yah get there?”

He looked back at her and said blandly “Nothing. I'll be back before supper.”

He opened the door and walked directly into a yellow pony standing on the porch. She bounced off his stomach and ungainly flopped onto the floorboards.

“Oww. That's a fine good morning.” grumbled Doctor Flummox as she rubbed a hoof against her head.

“Sorry 'bout that. Distracted.” He leaned down and helped her up to her hooves and brushed a thin bit of dirt off her side.

“Howdy Doc!” called Applejack from her seat at the table. The rest of the Apple family followed with greetings of their own.

“Good morning Apples.” The doctor smiled and waved “Just here to look in on a patient. Sorry to interrupt your breakfast.”

“Ain't no problem at all Doc. Would yah care for some? We got plenty.” Applejack held up a waffle speared on a fork.

“No thank you Applejack, I'm just here to give Raj his weekend checkup.”

“Let's get this over with.” Raj squatted onto the swinging bench out on the porch and held out his arm for Flummox to examine.

She ran her hoof over the cast, bending his arm and making him flex his fingers as she did so. “Any pain?”

“No.” He lied.

She squinted at the edges of the cast. “I'm seeing cracks in the plaster, pretty significant ones. Have you been resting like I told you to?”

Raj opened his mouth to answer but was interrupted by Applejack from the front door “No he ain't. He's been wanderin' off 'n disappearin' for whole days.”

The doctor flicked her eyes up at him. “Is this true?”

“Sure.” He said while shooting Applejack a glare.

Dr. Flummox grumbled something unkind and continued. “Well, the arm is healing fine and the damage to the cast isn't severe. So I'll let it slide. Now, off with the shirt.”

“Yes'm.” Raj peeled his shirt off and settled onto the ground, leaning his head against one of the porch's support beams.

“Alright, let's see what we got here.” Raj felt the bandages unravel and hooves start to press into his back, probing and checking the stitching holding his skin together. The Doctor took on a sour expression and said “That's not good.”

“What's the matter doc? He gonna be okay?” Inquired Applejack while she crowded at her side to get a better look.

Flummox paused her ministrations and shouldered the doting farmer gently. She pulled the skin around his injury and a thin bead of clear fluid ran from a section of broken, bristly wire “A good number of stitches have popped and you've started seeping. They need to be replaced.” she pulled a needle and thread from her bag and said “This is gonna hurt.”

“What doesn't?” replied Raj noncommittally.

Flummox took that as a cue to start her work, yanking broken wire with expert care. Raj jerked sharply with the first pull, hissing in pain. Applejack sidled in again, trying to get a better look at Flummox's work. The Doctor took on a dour look for a second and whispered to the farm-mare “Applejack, could you talk to him or something, keep him distracted so he doesn't move around as much?”

“Sure thing Doc.” Applejack circled around to Raj's front, catching his eye to keep his attention off what's happening behind him. “Heya partner, how ya doin'?”

“How do you think?” he replied snidely, sneering a bit when Flummox nicked him.

“Heh heh, right.” Applejack awkwardly shuffled s a bit, looking for something to say. “So, um, how come yah didn't notice this business with your back? Seems like something you woulda felt.”

“I've been preoccupIED!” His voice hitched in pain on a tugged thread.

“Preoccupied with what?”

“Stuff.” He replied unenthusiastically.

“What kinda stuff?”

“The private kind of stuff.”

Applejack smiled lightly “Aww, c'mon Rajrishi. Ya can tell me. Ah won't tell a soul.” She ran a hoof across her mouth, miming zipping it shut.

He settled on her with a level look. “You really want to know?”

“Course ah do, sugarcube.”

Raj glanced back and forth, checking for any listeners, and waved her in close. In a hushed tone he said “I'm an exile.”

Applejack leaned close, whispering. “What?”

“I'm an exile, well, fugitive really. I was imprisoned, for a crime I didn't commit.”

“Really? What was it?”

“Conspiring with a failed dictator. I did no such thing, but I was locked up anyways for fourteen long years in one of the most ghoulish prisons imaginable.”

“My gosh Rajrishi, that sounds awful.”

“Oh, it was, but I escaped with the help of a fellow prisoner. He taught me many things, how to fight, proper decorum, and gave me the insight enough to figure out who betrayed me and got me locked up unjustly.”

“Where is this feller, sounds like a stand up guy.”

Raj frowned “Sadly, he didn't make it. Died in prison so that I could get away, but not before he told me where he'd hidden the treasure that got him locked in irons. Once I find it, I can finally enact my plan for revenge.” He injected as much venom into his words as he could, his hands even shaking with vehemence.

The pair were silent for a moment. Rajrishi was looking at her with as much sincerity as he could muster and she was staring at him with something like awe. She said “Wow Rajrishi, ah, ah had no idea. That's just... wow.”

He smiled “I know right.”

“Yeah, yeah, wooo,” She shook her head “That's a whole lot to take in.” She takes a few steps away and rubbed a hoof on her head.

“Well... it would be.” he said with a sly roll of his eyes “If it weren't horsecrap.”

She stopped “Come again?”

“It's the plot of The Count of Monte Cristo actually. Good book. You should read it.” He said with a smug grin “But you believed me, didn't you?”

Applejack settled into a deep scowl. “That ain't funny Rajrishi.”

“I don't know Applejack, it's a little funny.”

She frowned at that and flicked an ear in annoyance. “What have you been doin' all day Rajrishi?”

Raj said “None of your business Applejack.” He winced again at a sharp pinch from his backside.

Applejack looks scandalized for a second and stomped a hoof “Why you sick little- Fine! Keep your dang secrets! See if ah care!” She started to trot away.

“Aww come on Applejack, don't be like that. Fine fine, I've been searching for the elusive whale that took my leg many years ago. No no, actually I'm out there with my buddy Enkidu looking for Humbaba. Have you seen her?”

Applejack slammed the front door shut with enough force to rattle the frame. Raj smiled wide and broke into a fit of chuckles.

“That wasn't very nice you know.” said Dr. Flummox.

“But it was pretty funny.” His aggrandizing grin disappeared when Flummox dug her needle in with a little too much verve, making him yelp.

“Sorry about that, hoof slipped.” She set her tools back in her case “All done back here.”

“Glad to hear it.” He pulled his shirt back on with a pained grunt. “Don't know what you did but it hasn't hurt like this in days.”

“That's because I had to open one of them back up Rajrishi. You popped an internal stitch. If left alone you could have permanent muscle damage.” She pointed a hoof at his chest “You need to take it easy, at least for the next week or you're going to seriously hurt yourself.”

Raj put his hands up defensively “Alright, alright fine Doc. I'll be as sedate as a sloth.”

“Good. I'll be by at the end of the week to check on you and Piggington. See you then.” She kept his eye for a second before turning to leave.

Raj sat on the porch for a few minutes, watching her yellow figure fade away down the road. Once she was out of sight he stood up, dusted himself off, and started down the path to the west orchard.

He was halfway there when he heard the clopping of hooves behind him and a voice ask “Where do you think your goin' off to?”

He answered without turning “Elsewhere.”

“Doc said you were messed up 'n needed to stay put.”

He stopped and turned to her “So we're eavesdropping on each other now?”

“You told her you would too. Promised her practically.”

“'Cause if eavesdropping on one another is just something we do now, I want to go on record as not being cool with that.”

“Got' DANG it Rajrishi! Stop being so... so... glib!” She shouted, stomping her front hooves.

Raj stared at her levelly for a second before saying “Applejack, just... just go pick some apples or whatever. Leave me be.” He turned on a heel and strides away.

The orange mare went red in the face, fuming. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, willing her anger down. She said “Nuh uh, no way pardner. You ain't getting off that easy.”

Raj sighs “Look, I have something I need to do okay? By myself.”

“Ah understand that you think that, but ah don't care. You're not the only pony that can ignore folks when it suits 'em.” she adjusted her hat and puffed out her chest defiantly.

Raj worked his thumb against a groove on his staff in annoyance. “So what, you're going to follow me now?”

“Yep.”

“You're really that curious?”

She shook her head “Heck no, ah'm making sure you don't do something stupid and get yourself hurt worse 'n you already are.”

Raj rubbed the bridge of his nose, groaning lightly. “Do you seriously not have anything better to do today?”

“Nope. Today's my day off.”

“And you are going to waste it following me god knows where?” he asks.

“If ah have to.”

“I'm not going on a day hike here Applejack, I'm going somewhere dangerous.”

“All the more reason you should have somepony with yah.”

He placed a palm against his forehead and groused “I'm not interested in having some hanger-on I need to worry about.”

“Ah can take care of mahself Rajrishi, been scrappin' since ah was a little filly. Now are we going or what?” She trotted past him, head held sternly.

Raj gave a defeated sigh and said “Fine, but you better be able to keep up with me, got it?”

“Fine, now let's mosey.” She trotted ahead, kicking up thin plumes of dirt.

Raj rolled his eyes “Mosey she says.” He grumbled to himself and hurried to catch up.

* * *

He led her to the Everfree Forest, a distant edge of it far outside Ponyville. They walked through the bright meadow along its flank, but the pair were still close enough to make Applejack wary.

The border near Ponyville is tamed somewhat, regularly patrolled by Rangers and watched by Weather Pegasi. The wild growth is hacked back regularly and the monstrous inhabitants avoid their neighbors, usually.

The edge they walked beside was untamed, completely without the touch of ponies. The gloomy barrier as stark and menacing as the tallest cliff face. Simple proximity was enough to creep unease into the spirit of any creature not of the darkened place.

Any creature except Rajrishi, it seemed.

After hours of walking he stopped in his tracks and scanned the looming edge. “Here looks good. C'mon.” He started towards a break in the treeline.

“Wait what?” stuttered Applejack.

“We're going in, follow me.” He parted a curtain of vines and peered in.

“But, ah thought we were just walking alongside.”

“And now we're going in. This is around where I went in before. If I look around for a bit I can probably find where I left off. Figure I can get a few good miles knocked out today, if we get going now.” He gestured to the opening with the end of his staff.

“A-a few good miles? Is this what you've been doing all this time, exploring the Everfree Forest?” Applejack glanced back and forth nervously, swaying on her hooves. “D-don'tcha know how dangerous is is in there? Especially way out here?”

“Yeah I do, now are you coming or not?”

Applejack wavered for a second before she sets her face and adjusted her hat. “Hold yer horses, ah'm comin'.” She galloped forward, plowing past him into the Everfree.

Hounded

Raj hacked through a bundle of brambles with a pair of quick swings, opening the path forward. He trudged on, closely followed by a stooped orange pony.

“All ah'm sayin' is, would it kill the weather ponies to push a cloud over the Everfree every once in a while?” She fanned herself with her hat for a few seconds “Cause it is too dang hot.”

“Maybe, I don't know.” Raj shrugged while he scanned the area around for paths.

“Not just for us mind, ah'm not that selfish. What ah'm talkin' about is making things a bit cooler 'round these parts 'n maybe it'd calm the things that live out here a bit. The critters out here in these woods always get ornerier in the summer time, coming out and harassing pony folk, like what happened with Berry Punch 'n Cocunut earlier this month. Didja hear about that?”

Raj looked back at her “Applejack I live in the woods. By myself. How would I have heard town gossip?”

She winced in embarrassment “Right, right sorry. But, uh, a mare from town 'n her cousin were out picking berries when they almost got eaten up by a Chimera of all things. Can you imagine that, a Chimera so close to town!”

“You don't say.” said Raj, his face carefully blank.

“Ah do say. Them ponies were scared witless after. At first we thought she'd been sampling her own stock again, but her cousin swore up and down she was tellin' the truth. They're lucky they got away with their lives.”

“I believe it.”

“Course ya do. Now then, uh...” She trailed off, her hoof tapping at the air absently “Uh, what was ah talking about?”

Raj answered “Something about the weather...”

“Oh yeah, cooling down the Everfree. It couldn't be that hard to muster. Ah mean, them Pegasi get up to nothin' most days. Heck, RD spends a chunk'a her time just nappin'.” complained Applejack as she negotiated a fallen tree-trunk.

“Uh-huh.”

“What they do is real important, ah know that, but sometimes it feels like them weather ponies don't think about us ground-bound folk as much as they should. Its not like they have to worry 'bout things coming in from the forest and eatin' 'em way up in the clouds.”

“Right, clouds.” said Raj absently as he studied a large sycamore tree.

“There're dangerous things in these here woods Rajrishi. It should be everypony's job to keep 'em right where they-”

Raj held up a hand. “Applejack, not that I don't find this conversation absolutely riveting, but we're here.”

“We are?”

“Yeah.”

Applejack glanced around, seeing the looming foliage of the Everfree overhead and the thick, choking brambles that clutched at her hooves underneath. In other words, exactly the same as everywhere else. “Um, where exactly, is here?”

“Where I stopped before. Look.” Raj pointed out a piece of trail sign carved into a sycamore's bark. “This is where I called it quits last time I was in this area. A few days ago I think.” He ran a thumb along the scratches on the bark before slashing a line across it.

“What'd ya do that for?”

“To negate it. That sign is what I use for my outer boundary line. If I don't make them I could end up stomping through the same patch of woods more than once.”

“Oh, ah see. Its like a bear rubbing against a tree, or Winona piddlin' on the fence-posts around the farm. You're markin' yer territory.”

“Sure, let's go with that.” He resheathed his knife.

Applejack examined the mark on the tree, memorizing the shape. “How many of those things do you got out here?”

“Seven, well, six now.” he added after a moment's thought. “C'mon, we have a lot of ground to cover.”

“We got more ground to cover? But we been walkin' all mornin'!”

“Yeah, I know, I wanted to be here earlier but something was slowing me down.” he glanced at her pointedly.

Applejack snapped shut on a retort and swallowed “Ah'm gonna take the high road and figure that ya mean yer back. Now then, if we're only just now getting' started, ya mind telling me what it is we're doing out here anyway?”

“Actually yes, I do mind. Thank you for asking.”

She looked at him flatly “Rajrishi I will buck you in the stallion-parts, both hooves.”

“Fair enough. I'm looking for something. Does that save me from nut-bucking?”

Applejack narrowed her eyes and snorted, mulling it over. After a second she drawled “Yeah, ah guess so... for now anyways.”

“Good to hear it. Now let's go, and stick close. I don't know what's out here and I'd rather not find out.”

* * *

Hours and miles later, the pair were fleeing.

Applejack galloped through the thick gloom of the forest, huffing and panting. She craned her neck around and shouted “Hurry up Rajrishi, ya gotta go faster!”

“I'm trying.” he growled back as he skipped over a dead log and beat feet along the loamy soil. He saw Applejack's orange hooves disappear behind a curtain of vines and cursed.

Raj heard a scraping growl come from behind him and spun in time to see a pair of burning green eyes framed by a dark shadow leap off the fallen trunk. He barely managed to raise his hands before the wooden monster bore him to the ground.

He rode the momentum of it, landed flat on his back, and swung up his legs. The Timberwolf went tumbling end over end and broke into a thousand pieces on the side of a tree with a pained yelp.

Raj was back on his feet in an instant with his Ironoak staff held ready. A second after that a pair broke from cover at a hard sprint, drooling foamy sap and emerald eyes burning.

The first one made a lunge at his legs while the other went high. He vaulted over the first and stabbed down at its exposed back before landing in a crouch and going under the second. He stood into a wide circle-swing that broke apart the creature's hindleg as it soared past him.

The first wolf staggered from the hit to its back and skidded to a halt. The airborne one hit the dirt and tried to balance on a leg that wasn't there, going into an ungainly roll right into its companion and scattered them both into branches and twigs.

He watched the wood settle for a second and took a breath, trying to steady himself. Sure enough, another couple broke from the underbrush and made a beeline for him.

Muttering obscenely, he set himself to deal with the threat, end of staff held low. The Timberwolves circled wide however, skirting his range but staying out of it. They sped past him, charging through a tangle of vines.

Confusion painted his features for a second before he shouted “Applejack! Applejack!” He started into an unwise sprint, trying to catch up. The Timberwolves leafy tails waved at him and swiftly grew smaller until he lost them behind dense foliage.

After a few seconds of running he could hear snarling barks from off the trail. Pushing through the hanging branches, he came upon a small, mossy clearing.

Applejack was in the crotch of a drooping willow, swatting and kicking at a pair of Timberwolves that repeatedly leaped up to snap at her hooves. As Raj came in, one of the beasts made it high enough to scrabble at the Y of the trunk before she slapped him down. She looked down at Rajrishi and shouted “Ah'm fine, keep going!”

Rajrishi heartily ignored her words and charged the harassing creatures. They turned to regard him, snarling and growling at his approach. Not willing to be intimidated, Raj slowed not at all and kicked at the first one, striking it despite it hopping back to dodge. His toe hit it right in the nape of the neck and the thing's whole head exploded into branches and leaves.

The other one crouched low, moving like it was going to dart in at him. It never got the chance. Applejack chose that moment to leap from her perch and crunch the thing into the dirt, shattering its amalgam of a body.

Raj nodded at the display and asked “You okay?”

Applejack kicked a log away, sneering at it. “Yeah, ah'm good. You?”

“Fine.”

“Good, let's git gone before they're back up.”

The pair set into a run, Applejack checking her speed to avoid leaving Rajrishi behind.

It was close to an hour later when the pair finally stopped, the sun well intent on setting and the entire Everfree stretching into stark shadows. The ground gave way to a dry riverbed, the bottom of it a quagmire of stinking mud, but the edges were shaded and cool. By wordless agreement they settled themselves on the shore underneath an earthen overhang.

“You feelin' alright Rajrishi?” asked Applejack as she started to fuss with the ties on her mane.

Raj didn't answer, just wheezed and grimaced in his seat.

“Rajrishi?” repeated Applejack. She took a few steps closer and put a hoof on his shoulder, shaking him lightly.

Raj slapped the limb away and muttered “I'm fine.”

“Well... good. That's good.” said Applejack, her voice carefully neutral. “Ah lost sight of ya for a bit there while we were runnin'. Didn't know what happened to you.”

“Right.” Raj rubbed a thumb at his temple, trying to ease away the beginnings of a headache.

“Told ya it was dangerous out here.” She shook her mane to test the ties holding it back. “Ah reckon we got a bit over an hour o' daylight left, should probably get going back less'n we wanna be out here after dark.”

“Right.” said Raj as he picked bits of sap and twigs off his person. “Hold on for a second.” he pulled his knife and moved to a tree further up the bank.

“What're ya doing?”

“Marking.” he replied as he scored a line across the bark.

“What for?”

“Well, this is where I'm going to have to start again tomorrow, so I might as well do it right.”

Applejack went wide eyed “Yer comin' back out here?”

He looked back at her, frowning “Yes Applejack, I am. I didn't get nearly enough ground covered today so I'm going to need to hit this one up again.”

Applejack lowered her head in thought “Okay, well, ah guess ah could move some stuff around. I'm s'posed to mind the stand tomorrow, but ah bet Caramel would be willin' to do it for me. He owes me a couple favors.”

“What, oh no no no.” Raj let out a small chuckle as he walked past the orange mare. “You are not coming out with me. Not again.”

She turned after him “What, and why not?”

“Really, you're going to ask me that after what just happened? Are you for real?”

“Ah certainly am for real. What, am ah not good enough to wander 'round the woods with yer sorry behind?

“You almost got me killed Applejack, that's why.”

She scoffed “Almost got you- why ah never, in all my days. Ah saved you, ya empty-headed moron!”

“Really, you saved me. You little-” he bit back harsh words and crossed his arms. “Explain.”

“Ah was trying to lead them things away from you, give ya time to get away. Ya shoulda ran off, found somewhere to hide, but instead you started fighting 'em. Why in tarnation did you have to go and do that?”

“They attacked me Applejack, some of them broke off after you and some of them came at me, so I fought them.” He pointed at her accusingly “Which I wouldn't have needed to do if you had just stayed put!”

“Stay surrounded by a mess 'o Timberwolves? You must be outta yer dang mind.”

“They wouldn't have done anything if we had stayed solid. We separated, so they came at us. If you run from something like that, they have to chase you. They're wired for it. But if you make yourself appear strong and capable, there's a chance that they'll leave you alone.”

Applejack sneered “You don't know what yer talking about. All you can do to Timberwolves is run away, maybe trick or lead 'em somewhere dangerous. You can't go head on 'gainst something like that.”

Raj shot her an incredulous glare “I just did that, multiple times. In a row.”

“Yeah, you got lucky. And now yer talking about coming back tomorrow and trying it again on yer own. No way, no how.”

“I have to Applejack.”

“Why, cause yer looking for something?” She reared up and gestured around wildly “There ain't nothing out here Rajrishi! Just trees, bushes, 'n monsters.” She dropped to her hooves “And yer gonna get killed if ya keep on trudging through 'em. What the hell could be so dang important yer willing to risk yer life for it.”

He bit his lip, debating a few things in his head before replying “You don't need to worry about that, okay. It's something that I can find on my own, something I should find on my own.” He replied, his face set.

“With a busted limb, with a shredded back? Can you honestly tell me yer in any condition to be running around someplace as dangerous as this?”

Raj glowered at her “Applejack, I'm fine.”

“That ain't what the Doc said. Ya should be takin' it easy Rajrishi, ah'm pretty sure ya popped a stitch, probably a few of 'em judging by the smell.” she pointed a hoof at a damp spot on his shoulder.

Rajrishi reached a hand onto his back and pulled it away wet and streaked with blood. He rubbed the substance between his fingers with a sullen look. “Yeah, that's no good.”

“Granny should be able to get ya sorted, she's always been pretty good at mendin' me n' Mac when we get knocked around.”

“Maybe.” He replied, his tone a bit leery.

“Well, lemme see how bad it is at least.” she tugged at the hem of his shirt.

“I'm fine.” he jerked her away tersely.

“Ya probably are but ah just wanna take a look.” she hopped up against his back.

“I said I'm fine!” He hissed, stepping away from the orange pony.

Applejack looked after him with a helpless look on her face. “Ah'm just trying to help Rajrishi.”

“I shouldn't have even needed help, alright? If you-” He cut himself off, biting back a retort. “Just, nevermind.”

Applejack's eyes narrowed and she set her hooves. “No, go on. Say what ya were gonna say Rajrishi. Let's suss this out right now.” She grit her teeth, getting ready for a fight.

He hissed back “Fine, you want to do this right here, let's. All of this, everything, all happened because you can't keep your miserable snout of other people's business. I would have been fine on my own, better in fact. At least alone I wouldn't have to deal with your ridiculous weedling!”

“Ah was trying to be friendly, all of us were, but you probably wouldn't know that if it came up and bit ya on the behind! We invited ya into our home, fed ya, took care of ya, 'n all ya do is disappear on us without a single dang word. Ah've met beavers that got better manners than you!”

“Friendly, you're going to talk to me about being friendly?” Rajrishi's lip twitched, almost sneering. He looked her in the eye and outright glared at her for a few seconds before he clenched his hand, sending a shooting pain through his broken arm. He clutched at it, wincing.

Applejack's expression softened, but only just. She grumbled “Ya okay?”

“Yeah, it's nothing. Just aggravated it.” he flexed his hand, testing the damage to his arm. “You're right by the way, it is getting late. We should get going.”

Applejack frowned, clearly seeing through the excuse, but he did have a point. “Fine, but this ain't over, not by a long shot, y'hear?”

“I hear, I hear.”

She trotted past him. “Good, now c'mon, Granny's got some iodine that'll clean them cuts out real quick.”

“Oh, iodine, great. Looking forward to it.” he droned, stomping after her.

Things that Matter

Hours later Raj was inspecting the newly re-done marks on his back, knitted back together with red cord and ruddy staining. Granny Smith had been able to get his stitches fixed and cleaned with a minimal amount of geriatric crankiness, much to his muted surprise.

He wrapped the scratchy bandages back around his torso, tying them with a loose knot centered in his chest. He pulled his shirt on and found the grating itch to be far too much. He yanked the article off and simply decided to dress like a caveman for a while.

Going over to the vanity, he unwrapped the now-filthy patka tied around his head and shook it, freeing a wave of pine needles and other forest debris onto the floor. Frowning, he scooped the mess up with his hands and tossed it out the window.

He undid his braid and started running a borrowed brush through his long hair, humming a familiar melody while he did so. After a few minutes of that he gave a similar treatment to his dog, much the creature's silent delight.

In the process, he noticed a layer of dried mud caked on Banjo's paws, the accumulation of a day's worth of unsupervised canine adventures no doubt. Chuffing indignantly, he retrieved a cloth and a basin of water from the Apple's washroom and set to wiping down the worst of the dog's grime, much to his less-than-silent chagrin.

Raj was about halfway through the dog's third paw when he realized that he was putting something unpleasant off.

“Come see me in the kitchen after everypony else turns in for the night. We gotta talk.”

The words she drawled at him as soon as they were back on the property still echoed in his head. She hadn't said one word to him after that the whole evening, nor anything on their long trek back. Actually, as far as he could recall the only time she'd spoken was to entreat Granny Smith to patch up his back. For someone as talkative as Applejack, that could only be a bad sign.

He knew that there was going to be words between them, but Applejack's behavior gave it a sense of gravity. One does not call a clandestine meeting in the middle of the night to discuss frivolous things. At best, they'd both go to bed upset, at worst she might kick him out right then and there, promises be-damned. He desperately didn't want that happen, he had nowhere else to go, but also wasn't willing to swallow his pride and just agree with whatever she said. It was a ridiculous situation he did not feel like sorting out.

It'd been at least an hour since he heard Big Mac clop his way to his room, and he'd been ignoring Granny Smith's whistling snores for twice that. Even Apple Bloom had gone to bed at her actual bedtime, something of a rarity in the Apple household.

He didn't have to go downstairs, he reasoned. He could just lie down, go to sleep, and hopefully deal with the situation at a later time. Raj considered that for all of a second before he imagined Applejack slumped over the kitchen table having tried to stay awake all night waiting to holler at him. Then she would have another thing to be mad about.

Banjo yipped and rolled up to his paws. He stepped over to the door and scratched at the frame a few times before looking up at him expectantly.

Raj scowled and silently cursed. Once again the dog's bladder had gotten the better of him.

He tiptoed out of his room, careful not to disturb the slumbering ponies nearby and lightly padded down the stairs, mindful of the creaking wood. The last thing he wanted was to talk to two Apples that night.

Applejack was seated at the kitchen table, a wooden mug in her hooves and a large pitcher set next to her discarded hat. Even in the meager lantern-light, Raj could tell she was dead tired. She took a long sip and drawled “What took ya?”

Raj went over to the door and hooked Banjo up to his lead, letting him take care of himself outside. “Waiting for everybody else to fall asleep.”

“Yer lyin'.”

He shrugged “Well that's the answer you're getting.”

“Fine, sit.” She kicked a chair out for him and he squatted down into it. She held up her mug and gave it a shake “Cider?”

“Hard cider?”

“This'n is.”

“No thanks then.”

“Suit yerself.” She took a long draw from her mug and wiped a leg across her mouth. “Dang, that's a good batch we got this year.”

Raj leaned forward, palms flat on the table “So what's this about?”

“Smooth finish, great color. Real crisp, amber flavor. Pony folks're gonna line up for miles for this.”

He tapped his fingers on his arm, “Applejack I had a long day and I would really like some sleep. Do you mind?”

“Seriously, ah don't think we've had cider this fine since my Pa brewed it. Gonna have to set aside a few more barrels.” She grabbed the pitcher and poured another mug halfway.

“Did you really call me down here to talk about beverages? Cause if so I'm gonna-”

“Pretty dang annoying ain't it Rajrishi? When somepony ignores what ya have to say.”

Raj leaned back, staring at her for a few silent seconds. When she didn't say anything else he spoke up “Seriously, is that all you called me down here for? Because you're ticked I acted less than gently. Great.” He stood up “Thanks for wasting my time.”

“Sit yer keister back down if ya know what's good for ya.” She drained her mug again and set it on the table top down.

Raj shot a look at the mostly empty pitcher and asked “How many of those have you had?”

“A few.”

“A few too many you mean?”

“Ah drink when ah'm mad, 'n ah am pretty pissed.” She pointed a wobbly hoof at his chest. “Pissed at you, ya idgit, now siddown!”

“Alright Applejack, calm down.” Raj put a hand on her outstretched hoof and lowered it to the table, slyly sliding the pitcher of cider out her reach as he did so. “What do you want to talk about?”

“You! We're gonna talk about you Rajrishi.” She mulled over her words for a few seconds before blurting out “Did ya know Applebloom thinks ya hate her?”

“What?” Raj asked, baffled “I don't hate Applebloom.”

“Coulda fooled me, with how ya ignore her and just leave her alone all dang day. When ah told her that you were gonna be staying with us, why, she was so excited she was bouncing off the walls. She made all these plans to show you her clubhouse, tell you all about her crusadin' adventures. She worked herself up into a frenzy with everything she wanted to do with ya.” Applejack's eyes went downcast “Ya don't see how disappointed she is when ya walk out that door everyday.”

Raj cocked an eyebrow, genuinely confused “Bloom's a strong kid. I'm sure she'll be fine.”

“Not just her neither.” She slurred “Mac's been wanting to make proper amends with ya on account of what he did to yer arm. Been wracking his brain all week trying to think of a way to make it up to ya, but yer always gone before he gets a chance to ask. Both of 'em wanted to get in yer face about it, but I warned them off.”

Raj looked about, not sure what to make of that, and hesitantly said “Thanks?”

Applejack ignored him “The girls told me that you 'n yer pooch were livin' in them woods like a couple of vagrant ponies. Sleepin' in a burned out hole, cookin' over an open fire, always caked with dirt 'n other foulness, and half starved to boot.”

Rajrishi looked away “It wasn't as bad as all that.”

“When're you gonna learn ya can't lie to me Rajrishi?” She asked with an ill-natured look.

“Fine. I'd hit a rough patch.” he admitted “What of it?”

She clucked her tongue indignantly “Ah warned them two off cause ah figured you musta had a good reason for disappearing all the time, that you were doing some human thing. Imagine how sad they're gonna be when ah tell them the first thing you did was go back there, by yourself ah might add.”

Raj crossed his arms “Are you seriously trying to guilt me here? To make me feel bad for doing something necessary.”

“They, we, invited you into our home. We deserve some dang consideration!” she spat.

Raj blinked “So what, you're ticked that I'm not being grateful enough? That I'm not showing proper reverence for being saved from the horrors of the Everfree forest?” He swept his black hands wide, his words dripping sarcasm “Maybe I should sing a song about it or go on a merry skip across the farm. Would that make things better?”

Applejack sneered “There ya go again. The moment anypony starts to show any interest in ya, act like they give half a damn about yer sorry hide, ya get all sarcastic 'n standoffish. Like yesterday with yer bogus story. It's childish.”

Raj leaned in, practically hissing “I don't feel like indulging the curiosity of a nosy little pony who can't mind her own business.”

“Ah'm not doing it cause ah'm curious you miserable varmint, ah'm doin' it cause ah care about you!”

The pair went silent, Applejack's shout echoing through the house. They both strained their ears and looked at the stairs, listening for the telltale stirring of awakened ponies. After close to a minute the house was still silent save Granny's distant snoring.

“Hooee, that was close.” said Applejack as she let out a breath.

“Yeah. Could've been awkward. Why did you decide to do this at night?”

She shrugged “Figured it would keep me from yelling.”

“Well that didn't work.” He turned back to her “So you wanted to make sure I didn't get hurt, is that it?”

“Partly, yeah.” She replied, suddenly sheepish.

“Well you don't have to worry about that. I lived in those woods for...” he paused for a moment, “a long time. I'm not afraid to be out there.”

“That's only part of the reason. The rest is, well, every night when you come back you look so, so...” Her gaze softened “well, down.”

“What do you mean?”

“You know what ah mean. Every day when you trudge on through that door, yer as miserable as ah've ever seen somepony. Don't matter if it's early enough for you to have supper or late enough the moon's high in the sky, ya always look so dang defeated. Even today, when you were with me, it was like the moon was sittin' on yer shoulders.”

Raj blinked, taken aback. “Well, I, uh-”

Applejack cut him off “Ah'm not the only one who's noticed. Applebloom picked up on it real early, Granny too, even Big Mac eventually saw. We didn't ask 'bout it cause you weren't offerin', but we been worried somethin' fierce.”

Rajrishi stared for a few seconds before blurting out “What?”

“You heard me. All of us been real concerned.” she admitted, her hard gaze softening.

Raj looked away, his face anxious. “But, why? I'm nobody to you people. I'm not a pony, not even close to one. Why give a crap about me?”

“Cause yer an Apple, that's why.” She said it like it was most natural thing in the world. “Don't matter if yer not a pony. Yer family.”

Raj stared at her, uncomprehending, for a full minute before speaking. “But I- you-, how does that even work? You didn't know me two weeks ago.”

“That don't matter, specially after what you did for us.”

“What, help some defenseless little girls?” He said with a layer of incredulity “Who wouldn't do something like that?”

“It was more than that! So much more, you..." She trailed off, her eyes narrowing in appraisal, "ya don't realize, do ya?”

Raj blinked “Realize what?”

“What ya did for them girls, what ya did for all of us. Ya didn't just help 'em Rajrishi. Ya risked yer life to keep them fillies alive, 'gainst monsters and all the nastiness of the Everfree, and ya didn't quit until them girls were safe and sound.” She pointed a hoof at his chest “That's not the kind of thing anypony does, that's the kind of thing family does.”

Rajrishi shifted in his seat, suddenly abashed. “I guess so, but-”

She cut him off “And it wasn't just her ya rescued. Ya saved all of us Rajrishi.”

That statement draped a patient silence over the kitchen for a good ten seconds before it was broken by him blurting “Come again?”

“All of us. Me, Granny, Macintosh, Bloom and a few other Apples besides.” She explained “All of us. If something happened to Applebloom, we wouldn't make it.”

“What do you mean?” Raj asked, steepling his fingers on the tabletop.

Applejack opened her mouth to speak then bit back the words. She lowered her head, wondering and absently reached for the pitcher. She forcibly stopped herself, yanking her hoof back and folding them on the table in front of her, eyes closed with a thin glittering of tears along her lashes.

Rajrishi leaned forward, suddenly concerned. “Applejack, are you okay? We don't have to keep talking, it's fine.”

“No, ah'm okay” she answered, a slight hitch in her voice that might have been a sob. She took a deep breath before continuing. “Mah folks're dead Rajrishi.” She flatly said, a line of moisture running down her cheek. “Died when ah was just a little filly.”

“Oh,” He said lamely, suddenly glad he went with the Count of Monte Cristo for his false cover story rather than Batman. “I'm sorry to hear that Applejack.”

“Thank you, but...” she trailed off for a second, blinking away tears. “Granny was a wreck for months after, Mama was her only daughter y'see. Macintosh blamed himself, still does ah reckon. Bloom was real young, barely even weaned at the time. All she knew was that all the adults were mopin' around so she wailed her head off day and night. 'N as for me, well ah... ah” She sniffed “Ah ran from this muddy little apple farm as soon as ah got the chance.”

“Well, you came back, right?” he asked lamely.

“Ah wasn't gone long, but it took an act of friggin' destiny to bring me home.” Raj made a mental note to ask about that later. “Even after ah did come to mah senses, it was a while before ah got to what ah'd call 'fine'. Ah miss mah Mama n' Daddy everyday.” She wiped a foreleg across her eyes.

Raj stared at her sadly, unsure of what to do.

Applejack continued, her voice flickering “And if something happened to Applebloom?” She squeezed her eyes shut and shivered. “Ah mean, you've seen how ah handle being upset.” She tilted her head at the pitcher sitting just out of reach. “Granny 'n Mac wouldn't be no better. If something happened to that little filly, well, we'd just... stop.”

They sat in silence in the dark kitchen, staring down at the table. It cost Applejack something to admit that, something important to her. Raj felt ashamed for forcing these things out of her, even unwittingly.

Applejack let out a sigh and stretched her eyes, fatigue clearly catching up with her. She stood up and grabbed the Cider pitcher. “So yeah, the lot of us do care about ya, more'n you seemed to realize. 'N if ya didn't come back one day, if ya were just gone, well... our lives would be poorer for it.”

She hoofed over to the sink and upended the pitcher into it, dumping the rest of the cider down the drain. She snorted “Stuff's never any good after it sits for a bit anyway.” She turned back and walked over to the steps.

She went up a few, paused, and turned to him, still sitting at the kitchen table. “Rajrishi?”

He twisted in his seat “Yeah, Applejack?”

“Ah know ya don't care 'bout us as much as we do you, but, ain't we at least earned a chance yet?” She said, almost pleading.

He wanted to lie, he really did. To make her feel better, to make this problem go away, for a multitude of reasons, but one thing he definitely owed Applejack was his honesty.

He met her gaze and honestly said “I don't know.”

Applejack wilted a bit, but smiled lightly nonetheless “Ah, ah suppose that's all I can ask.” She turned away “Don't forget to lock up after you let your pooch in. G'night Rajrishi.”

“Goodnight Applejack.”

Author's Note

Holy crap was this one hard to write. Gods, I should just stick to having character fight monsters. That's a million times easier than trying to put together a genuinely emotional scene.

Have to Do

The next day's walk to the Everfree was a long and lonely one.

The Apple family had afforded Raj a few more hours of sleep, he assumed at Applejack's urging. When he finally got out of bed he found the place abandoned, ponies off to their various chores for the day and an illegible note set on the table next to a plate of eggs and steamed broccoli that had gone entirely cold. He silently groused about the lack of meat and ate quickly, leaving westward.

Losing daylight meant less time in the field, especially with the steady rain that had blown in overnight. He knew he'd have to hurry to make any progress at all.

Rain didn't truly fall in the Everfree, not where the canopy hung, it was too dense. Instead it collected on the leaves and branches, filtering through the roof of greenery to fall in fat drips and running rivulets as forceful as a hose. Other times it simply drifted in as a chilly mist, condensing on everything and sapping warmth.

The forest was an entirely different place in the rain, he found. Plants hung differently, weighed down by water. Flowers closed themselves up to hide from over-saturation as the forest denizens did the same, scurrying into burrows and dens to wait out the weather. Even the ever present buzz of lively insects was replaced with the mindless drone of dripping and flowing water.

This was a problem for Raj. He craved stimulus, needed to notice things in his surroundings to occupy his thoughts. Without that distraction, he was left to think.

* * *

I decided long ago, back when Equestria's starry sky was still new to me, that I would do everything I could to not leave footprints here. That I wouldn't change this place, that I wouldn't ruin it with my presence.

I have failed.

* * *

Raj stomped his was through muddy puddles and fallen branches, through black brambles and slick stones.

Twice he fell flat on his face, slipping on a loose stone or misplacing his footing beneath a deeper pool. Both times he cursed bitterly and ungainly rose to his feet, wiping off the worst of the muck that clung to his torso.

He staggered onward, coughing heavily, and desperately tried to ignore the thin lines of crimson running off of his stained hand.

* * *

I hid from ponies, trying to survive, for months. I forced Zecora to promise to tell nobody of my presence, and not to come looking for me if I suddenly disappeared. I wanted no attachments, no one who would miss me. No one I would have to think about, have to put first.

But my curiosity got the better of me, and now there's a clutch of ponies that treat me like one of their own. Like family.

It's my own fault, I realize. I should have left the farmhouse and never looked back the moment I was ambulatory. My camp is still intact, and would actually make a better place to search out of. But I'm weak. I was seduced by the temptation of apple pie and hot food, of clean water and a soft bed, of bandages and blankets and smiling faces.

I thought it was somewhere I could make myself well, recharge, get better without ingraining myself. Foolish, so terribly foolish.

I can't deny it any longer. I have a family in Equestria.

I don't have to insinuate, to assume or figure anything. I heard it straight from the horse's mouth.

I am an Apple as surely as if I had the fruit itself stamped on my butt.

Exactly what I don't want.

* * *

Raj ran his hand along a large oak tree, slick with moisture. A long, thin line was slashed into the face of it, bright white against gray bark.

It was one of his markers, a sign he make during his search. It was meant to show an area that he'd already combed over. The slash also informed the direction he was going when he made it, a sort of code he'd modified from an old military method.

The sign in front of him showed he was on the right track, picking his way closer to the dry river he and Applejack rested in the day before. He yanked his knife and slashed it again, deepening the gash all the way down to the wood.

* * *

Equestria is a strange and befuddling world. One that makes little sense at first glance and even less when looked at closer. I can't even begin to count to number of times this place has confused me into stunned silence.

All that being true, I'm not so jaded that I can't see this place. Equestria is beautiful, staggeringly so even. The sheer wonder that is simply intrinsic to this world is... incredible.

It makes me feel like a boy walking past a glass shop with my mother, hands stuffed in my pockets and spine rigid, terrified that I'm going to break something.

* * *

A short bit of walking later and Raj came upon the riverbed from the previous day, now transformed into a pit of stinking mud. He looked down at the filth and grimaced. The stuff was thick and deep, sluggishly churning as it tried to flow downstream. It would likely to cost him a boot or worse if he tried to stomp through it. It was too far to risk a jump, especially since he'd have to do it again to get back.

Not for the first time, he considered heading back to the farmhouse. The weather was all kinds of crap and showed no signs of getting better. The clouds were cutting the light down as well, with the normally thick foliage overhead the entire Everfree was downright gloomy. He was likely to just walk past what he was looking for without even noticing it.

Raj glanced back over his shoulder at his own tracks, deep and already filled with dark water. It'd be an easy thing to follow them back. With just a few hours he could be back in the Apple's kitchen, warm and comfortable. He could help Granny with her jarring, or hear about Applebloom's day at school.

It was one day. How much could one day hurt?

He clenched his eyes shut and shook his head. Too much, far too much. It was a slope as slippery as the bank he stood on.

* * *

Maybe I'm being ridiculous, thinking that my small presence could ever have any lasting effect on an entire world. I could be free to explore and learn about Equestria openly, without fear of reprisal or ruin.

But that's not really my call.

The ponies I've met were happy before I came, I'm certain of it, and everyone I've interacted with seems to have suffered for it. The Apple Family is an upheaval, I kicked Minuette in the face, Zecora almost got eaten by a Bugbear, and I rebuffed Fluttershy to the point of concerned tears. Even the act that earned me my unwanted family was my fault, the girls being in the forest looking for me after all.

* * *

He found a birch tree a short ways up the bank that sat on a berm over the mucky river. Planting his feet, he pushed against it with everything he had, boots furrowing the soft soil as he pushed. With a vile sucking sound the tree's roots tore up from the muddy soil and the whole thing crashed down, forming a bridge from shore to shore.

Raj leaned onto his knees, breathing heavy from the exertion. He coughed into a fist a few times and straightened up, muttering. “Nothing to it, nothing to it.” He groaned and spat on the ground.

After embarrassingly butt-scooting his way across the makeshift bridge he'd finally managed to reach the finish glyph he'd carved the previous day. He yanked his knife free and cut across it, officially marking the start of the day's search.

* * *

I won't risk it. I can't. I would never forgive myself.

So I have to keep searching, keep walking, keep slashing. I can do nothing else.

Even if there is no hope of ever finding my way home.

* * *

The canopy was thicker on this side, only finding rare gaps to trickle through the green shield. Most of the water ran down leaves and branches towards the trunks, streaming down their bark and saturating their roots. Raj wondered if it was some evolutionary trick the trees of the Everfree had developed over the years to covet nutrition, or if trees did it back home and he never noticed.

He followed his tracks, as obscured as they were, until he reached his first distance marker and then ranged out, starting his grid search pattern again. He tightened the gaps, knowing that his visibility was cut down heavily. Every hundred paces he would slash a tree across its face, leaving a search marker.

It was an easy and efficient method that left nothing to chance. But it's slow, so terribly, terribly slow.

* * *

The Everfree is huge, incredibly huge. It puts any forest back home to shame. The idea of exploring it on foot, by myself, is completely preposterous. It would be like trying to explore Germany.

The Everfree is a place that is supremely dangerous. Thick terrain, unpredictable weather, creatures that beggar belief, and a hundred things I can't even fathom lurk in its shadowed confines. This is an undertaking of years, I knew that from the start.

Even if I do find my way home, it will likely be long after I have been forgotten.

* * *

Rajrishi sunk down onto a trunk, feeling drained. Wetness seeped through is pants but he couldn't muster the concern for that. Rest, rest was all he needed.

A wet cough ripped up from his lungs, red-tinged phlegm splattering his hand. He looked at it and wheezed, no longer able to ignore its presence. He wiped it off on the log and lumbered to his feet, leaning heavily on his staff.

Unknown to him, a pair of burning lantern eyes watched from the dark places of the Everfree.

* * *

I have wondered if I could simply give up. Surrender to Equestria's mysteries and accept that I would never see my home again. Stay with the Apples, live on their farm, become a part of their lives and make them part of mine. It would be easy, so very easy.

Thoughts like that show what kind of man I really am. A coward, a weakling.

I have a duty, I cannot fail.

I will walk this forest until the day I die if I have to.

* * *

Raj walked along the soupy river, counting his paces and slashing a line every once in a while. Once he hit ten marks he'd turn ninety degrees and move into the forest a hundred paces, turn again, and then repeat it the opposite direction until he hit ten marks again.

That was the plan at least, until he picked up a rotten, fetid stink drifting towards him. After a second of confusion he recognized it and immediately tensed up, his grip on his staff shifting.

Timberwolf breath, way too close.

He eyed the brush line, scanning for the burning emerald eyes of wooden predators. After a few moments of tense probing he heard a chattering growl rise from a thick patch of briars and one of the creatures slunk out of the overgrowth.

It was a big one, larger than the others by half, and bristled with sinewy ropes of willow vines under planks of oaken armor. Every Timberwolf he'd seen before looked like a slapdash amalgam of wood, but this one looked sculpted, formed even.

It stalked by him, presenting a side and kept its narrow eyes directly on his. It let out another rumbling growl that reminded Raj uncomfortably of a running wood-chipper. It kept its distance, appraising.

As they watched one another, more appeared, looking diminutive by comparison but still dangerous. They looked at him hungrily and ran leafy tongues over splintered jaws.

Raj rose up tall, trying to appear bigger and roared as loud as he could, trying to appear intimidating. The smaller wolves stopped in their tracks and shied away, surprised at the lack of fear their prey was displaying. Some of the smaller ones looked to their leader, heads and tails low. The big wolf was quiet, unsure.

He smiled inwardly, proud that his ploy was working and worked up another shout. He felt something catch in his lung and he descended into a fit of wracking coughs that threatened to take him to his knees.

The big wolf smiled slightly and let out a staccato bark that was eerily reminiscent of laughter. He tilted his head forward and yipped, signaling the other dogs. They pushed forward as one in an overwhelming surge.

* * *

But I pray that it is not today.

Need to Do

Timberwolves don't eat.

This would be rather surprising news to anyone who has seen one tear apart a rabbit or squirrel and gulp down the shredded remains. But they don't eat, not really, they store.

A Timberwolf does have organs, leafy lungs, splintery liver, and a sticky brain of sap to name a few. But what a Timberwolf lacks is a stomach, instead having a shelled void where they store the pulped meat from their prey to bring back to their dens. Once there, they disgorge it as fertilizer and mix it with soil, using the mixture to grow the heartwood pieces for new Timberwolf pups. The newborn pups will make bodies for themselves out of twigs and castoff parts of their den-mates, eventually venturing out and making stronger forms from fallen flora.

It's an amazing zoological miracle that Raj would assuredly love to study in depth when his life was not actively in danger.

They came at him is a press, all claws and teeth and predatory bloodlust. He charged up to meet them, slashing his staff back and forth in hard arcs. The ones he struck disintegrated, blasted into component pieces. The ones that he didn't hit overshot, skidding past him and into the mucky river. The rest backed off when faced with concerted opposition, heads low and leering.

His eyes flicked all around, getting a headcount. There were nine that he could see, thirteen counting the ones he'd already smashed. Way too many.

He hopped to the side and broke into a loping sprint, heading back to the crossing he'd made. The Timberwolves ran alongside, gliding through the undergrowth like it wasn't even there even as it grabbed and pulled at Raj's stride, slowing him significantly.

A smaller wolf with a face of woven twigs made a run at him. The creature ran alongside him and drove a shoulder into his hip, trying to knock him to the ground. Raj shuffled with the hit and managed to keep his feet, but was knocked into position for another one of the creatures to check into him hard enough to put him down.

Raj sprawled down into a roll, came up in a crouch, and sprang away as soon as he was oriented right. He pressed his back against a tree, the sticky wetness in his lung growing more insistent with each second. He couldn't outpace these things and there were too many to fight. That realization settled on him with panicked dread and he looked all around for some sort of escape.

The Alpha appeared again and barked a challenge, foamy sap drooling off of his barbed fangs. With a savage snarl he charged, eating up the ground between them. A full two lengths away the beast coiled like a spring and dove at him, going for the killing pounce.

Raj jumped up and out of the way, kicking off the tree with his back foot to get more height. He grabbed at an overhead branch and pulled, hauling his frame up into the boughs of the tree. The Alpha hit the trunk of the tree headfirst and let out a pained yelp.

Hugging the branch, Raj let out a breath. Beneath him he saw the Alpha shake his head and stand up having managed to survive the impact. He and the rest of the pack looked up at him and yipped, possibly begging him to come down and obligingly die.

Raj coughed hard, bringing up a plug of crimson phlegm he spat into the face of the leering Alpha beneath him. The beast recoiled at that and started barking madly at him, leaping up and snapping at his feet. Raj laughed at the creature's attempts and swatted him on the muzzle.

Raj flipped over the branch and started moving along the tree's boughs, leaping to the adjoining tree once he ran out of space. The Timberwolves moved along beneath him, leaping up to bite at him or sometimes trying to scrabble up a trunk to head him off.

“Okay, gotta remember to tell Applejack the tree thing was a good idea.” He muttered to himself as he vaulted across a gap.

In short order he ran out of viable trees and was forced back to the ground. He landed heavily and righted himself into a sprint. His target was in sight; the crossing he'd made earlier. He was almost there.

The Timberwolves were right behind, loping along with fluid grace. In short order the pack caught up to him and enclosed a running circle around him. A beast with a ruff of maple leaves dashed in and slashed at his legs. Raj leaped over it, swatting at the beast but coming up short. He hadn't even landed before another one was moving in, this one managing a hit on his calf that drew a thin line of blood.

Another pair rushed at him while he was still recovering from the hit, going for his legs again. He stabbed at one, breaking one of its hinds but leaving it mostly intact and the the other one went for his foot, clamped jaws on his boot and pulled, trying to trip him.

Snarling, Raj yanked back hard, putting enough force into the act to pull the Timberwolf's jaws off with a pained yowl from the creature. Off balance, he pitched to the ground when another of the beasts simply barreled into him.

Running on panic and instinct, Raj rolled to the side, getting tangled in loose plants and soaked in standing water. A Timberwolf landed where he was lying a second ago, its claws digging deep gouges where his sternum was. He swept his staff out in a upward strike that cleaved through the creature's torso, leaving the front half to crumple to the ground and whine pathetically.

The rest of the wolves growled and circled, eyeing him and barking and snarling intermittently. He rose up to his full height and roared as loud as he could, shaking his staff and stamping his feet, trying to ward the monsters away.

The insisting burn in his lung was forming again, tempting him to cough. He fought that down, forcing breath into himself. He needed to get away, needed to get clear. He felt hot wetness running down his leg and tried to gauge the damage while staying wary. He could still feel his foot and the wound hurt, which meant he wasn't going into shock. That would be last thing he needed.

The Alpha and the one with woven twigs for a face moved in on his front, fast and low. Raj stepped forward and swung but the creatures backed off at the last moment and spread out wide. He was surprised by this for an instant before he felt one of the things zip from behind at hip level and a hot bloom of agony erupted on his side. He let out a startled cry and made a spastic lash with a foot that caught it in the chest and broke it apart.

The two that feinted on him reversed direction and pounced, coming at his flanks in tandem. He ducked the twig faced one and stabbed toward the Alpha. The nimble creature swayed back and locked its jaws over the length of wood. It twisted its head and pulled it out of his hands, flinging it away to land precariously close to the muddy river. Before he could react both wolves faded back and out of reach.

Raj swore and made to go after his weapon but was warded back by a screen of snarling wolves that snapped at as he drew to close. He skidded to a halt and stepped back. He scanned for the Alpha, hoping to see it lurking in the brush but saw nothing aside from the rest of the pack circling him.

He let loose a scream of frustration at the monsters that tapered off into a few bloody coughs that set his shoulders wracking. Sensing a chance, three more charged at his front and pounced.

Raj's hands snapped up and he caught the first two of the beasts by the neck. They struggled for a second before he clapped them together on the third one in midair, shattering its head and breaking apart most of his impromptu weapons. A sharp pain lit up from his damaged arm but Raj didn't relent, too frustrated and angry to care. He shook his struggling hostages with abandon, knocking loose a scattering of parts.

The wolf with a ruff of maple leaves came at his back, going for his legs now that his hands were full.

Raj whipped around and swung wildly with one of the fragmenting carcasses, warning the creature back. He kept spinning and struck the creature broadside, scattering them both. He whipped the other one as hard as he could in the vague direction of its kin, peppering them with small sticks and bits of bark.

The few remaining wolves glanced about warily, suddenly unsure. They took a few tentative steps back, clearly intent on retreat when the Alpha broke from cover at a dead-heat, snarling pure fury.

Raj brought his hands up defensively. He caught the massive beast but its momentum sent them both rolling along the ground in a knot of grasping limbs and maddened snarls. They tumbled along the ground for a solid distance before they tumbled off the edge of the riverbank and splashed into the churning mud.

They disentangled from the fall and the Timberwolf immediately started trying to swim/slog its way back to the bank. It made it halfway before a mud covered Raj lunged up and bore it under.

The two of them were trapped under the brackish filth for a few seconds before they burst from the sludge, Raj holding the struggling beast over his head. Screaming, he slammed the creature into the muddy wall of the embankment head-first. It yowled and squirmed, trying to free itself from his grip.

After the fourth slam the creature detached the plates Raj was holding and rolled out of his grip. It started to scrabble up the shore, trying to get away from the howling mud-thing that had defeated almost all of its pack.

It had almost hauled itself to safety when Raj snatched at its tail and one of its hinds. The Alpha pulled at the limbs and kicked with its other leg. The thing's claws found purchase and succeeded in carving a gash down the back of his hand, but Raj seemed not to notice.

Raj hauled a leg up from the muck and planted a foot directly on the Alpha's behind. He then began to pull, snapping sinewy vines and breaking connecting lines of wood. The Alpha howled and bucked in agony, powerless to help itself.

After a second of struggle the Alpha's tail and leg ripped from him with a wet crack and Raj went flopping back into the mud. The creature yelped in pitiless agony and scrabbled its way onto shore, limping heavily.

Raj rose up again, striding purposefully through the mud. He clawed furrows in the dirt and kicked footholds sturdy enough to hold him as he climbed up after the Alpha.

The creature saw him rising after and its yellow lantern eyes spread wide. It started to trot away but tripped, its lack of a tail destroying its balance. It looked back at Raj, growled and set itself, still ready to fight.

He kicked the thing hard enough to roll it over and crack an armored plate. Dazed, it could do nothing as Raj settled his whole weight onto its back, locking its movement with a leg coiled around its torso. It struggled a bit before he readied a hand and plunged it into the twisting mass of vines that made up its musculature. The creature tensed and went still, letting out pathetic little noises before Raj gripped and pulled, peeling free the length of wood the Alpha used as its spine.

The creature went limp immediately, entirely defeated. Such was the sturdiness of its construction it didn't break apart immediately. It even retained its shape when Raj threw the beast's carcass into the muddy river to be broken apart by the sluggish current and never again reform.

The last remaining wolves looked on warily, not quite sure what to make of this development. Raj turned to them and bellowed a cry of rage that startled creatures for a mile in all directions. Before it had even finished echoing through the trees the few remaining Timberwolves were sprinting away.

His scream died on his lips and he stood shaking and fuming for a second before collapsing to his knees and slumping onto his side, gasping and wheezing for air. His breath sounded like he was trying to breathe through water and he could feel a bubbling wetness clouding his lung. He rose up to his hands and knees and started hacking and wracking madly, black spots swimming in his vision from the exertion of it.

With his whole body shuddering in effort, Raj half coughed, half vomited a vile mix of bloody fluids onto the leafy floor. Vertigo claimed him and it was all he could do to not slump into his own sick.

For a long time Raj simply lay there in the Everfree, staring listlessly through a clear patch of canopy at the gray clouds. He caught rain on his tongue and swallowed it down, hoping it would alleviate the burning in his chest.

He felt drained, worn out. The rise and fall of his chest was slowing and he could feel the gaps in his heartbeats. His breath hitched in his throat and he couldn't even muster the energy to cough it away. His vision swam and blurred, his eyes failing to catch up to anything, so he closed them. He swiftly felt the rest of him shutting down, the exertion and injuries finally catching up to him. His head lolled to the side and consciousness fled him

And then suddenly: pain, mind shredding pain.

His eyes shot open and he bounded to his feet, clawing at his side and howling. He ripped his shirt clear off his torso and raked at his skin, desperate to kill whatever was hurting him so badly.

Ants, dozens of ants, each one bloody crimson and the size of nickel. In his delirium, he had passed out on a hidden anthill.

He scratched at the embedded insects with his nails and, when that didn't work, peeled them off with the sharp end of a stick. Hopping anxiously, he made his way over to the river and slapped mud on his flesh to sooth the burning agony that was still ripping through his flesh.

The worst of the pain faded, he settled against a tree and hissed. He clutched at his side and even through a layer of cool mud could feel hot boils starting to form on his skin. He leaned his head back and helplessly groaned.

He glanced across the river and tried to see through the miles of woods between him and safety. He could not, and he knew that he had a long, long way to go.

* * *

It was well into the evening, long after the Apples had eaten supper and the youngest of the family had been ushered off to bed, when Rajrishi crawled back onto the property

The lights were on in the Apple house, a faint yellow glow shining through drawn curtains. They were a beacon to Raj, the only thing he had to draw him home. He shambled towards them like a zombie, a thing not quite dead but not really alive.

On the porch, Banjo raised his head at his approach. Once something of his smell wafted over to him he started barking madly and hopping about, trying desperately to get closer to his master. After a moment Winona joined in as well.

The cacophony drew Applejack outside where she shouted at the animals “Hey, hey, hey, what's all the racket out here?” She followed the animal's gaze and saw a shadowed figure coming up the road. Brow knit in concern she grabbed the lantern from the porch and galloped out the meet it.

At first, she thought some sort of mud beast had wandered onto the farm. From head to toe Raj was caked in the stuff, long patches on his chest and legs and worn down on his joints. His hair had come undone in the struggle in the river and had dried as a long fan that hung limply off of his scalp. His eyes barely shone out of the quagmire of plants and caked dirt that clung to his face and he was leaning heavily onto his staff, both hands clutching it tightly.

He opened his mouth and rasped out the single word “Help.” before collapsing onto the road.

Halcyon

Raj sprinted through the rows of apple trees, fitfully glancing to his sides. His breath came in rough puffs and his feet slammed the path heavily. He tried to pick out shapes from among the worn trunks and dangling branches that crowded him, but any clue as to his pursuers location was lost to the dense cover.

A pitched whine brought his attention back to the front and he saw a small shape leap out from behind a stacked tower of buckets. It landed and pounced with a high shriek, reaching hooves towards him.

Raj grunted and sprung to the side, planting a foot on a tree trunk and kicked off, carrying himself well out his attacker's reach. She twisted her neck around and groped for him but caught nothing but air, landing on her shoulder roughly.

He hit the ground running and craned his neck around to watch his attacker stagger up and shake her head. He grinned madly and turned his attention back just in time to see another small shape dangling from a tree branch, arms held wide to grab at his face.

Raj let out a decidedly unmanly sound and leaned back, his feet going out from underneath him as he went into a slide. The little figure hanging from the branch groaned and reached, her little arms flailing as she lost her grip and went tumbling to the ground.

He slid along his butt for some distance before digging his heel into the ground and levering up to his feet. He patted dust off of himself while looking back at his pursuers and shouting “You're gonna have to do better than that!” He grinned wide and turned back to see a green-eyed blur slam him right in the chest, knocking him clear off his feet.

A snowy-white filly stood upright on his chest and shouted directly into his face “Ha! Got you Rajrishi!”

Scootaloo pulled herself up from where she'd fallen from the tree and yelled “It worked, AppleBloom it worked!”

“Yeah, ah knew it would!” cried the little Earth Pony while she pulled twigs from her mane further up the path.

Raj rolled his head back and let out a sigh of mock-exasperation while Sweetie Belle did a short victory jig on his chest. “We did it Rajrishi, we finally got you.”

“Yeah you did, good job Sweetie, but...” a wicked smirk crawled across his face “now I've got you!” Be bolted up and grabbed the little pony, swinging her up high as she screamed in surprise and fell into helpless giggles.

Scootaloo saw this and broke into a run “Don't worry Sweetie Belle, I'll save you!” She jumped at him, legs held out straight to hit his abdomen.

Raj sidestepped and scooped out a hand, smoothly wrapping it around her barrel and swung her around in a high arc. He grinned and chided “Not today kid.” as held her high overhead.

“Oh no,” shouted Sweetie Belle from her hold at his side “Applebloom, you're our only hope!” she said to her approaching friend, her voice turning hopeful.

Raj turned on the last free filly as she came pounding at his legs, trying to ram into his shins to knock him off balance. Raj hopped and sidestepped as he landed, his arms going into pinwheels that sent the girls in hands into howls of excitement and startled whoas.

He found his balance again and squared at Applebloom while she lowered her front-half menacingly, eyes narrow and snout flaring. Raj was still grinning wide as he stared at the overly-serious pony. He taunted “You give up yet 'Bloom?”

“Never!” she shouted and reared up. She hit the ground and blasted forward screaming “Charge!” at such a volume it threatened Raj's hearing.

Raj stepped back and watched her, measuring her approach. As she neared, Raj did something none of them were expecting. He flicked the arm holding Scootaloo straight up, launching the Pegasus into the air, and stepped forward and low with his arm extended. His hand slid under her chest and he catapulted her up, much to her audible surprise. She was quickly followed by Sweetie Belle and then Scootaloo again.

Raj wasn't particularly sure how their game of 'Catch Rajrishi' had turned into a round of 'Children Juggling', nor was he sure how the idea to even do such a thing even found its way into his head. The giggling and shrieking fillies he was tossing overhead did not seem to mind, in fact they were having a grand old time.

He smiled at their laughter and jeered “They said I was crazy...” as he launched Sweetie Belle up “...they said it couldn't be done. Look at me now.” he took a wider stance to get more lateral motion to them. “I told you this wasn't your day girls, what do you have to say for yourselves?”

“Higher!” they all cried in unison as they spun and squirmed in midair “Go higher!”

Raj obliged, getting them a good yard over his head with each arc. The fillies screamed in appreciation and egged him on even more.

He kept up the ridiculous game for a good few minutes before parent instincts kicked in and he realized how incredibly dangerous this whole thing was. He gave two of them a good toss and set the third, Scootaloo, on her own unsteady hooves. She was quickly joined by her two friends, both equally dizzy and breathless.

They smiled deliriously and gave huffing breaths before collapsing to the ground, dazed and giggling wildly. Scootaloo rolled faceup and pointed a wobbly hoof skyward as she shouted “Let's go again, let's go again!”

Raj threw his head back and barked out a laugh and dropped to the ground, sitting with his legs crossed. He stuttered out “M-maybe later girls.”

“Alright, not really sure my stomach could handle that again anyways.” slurred Applebloom with a hoof laid across her belly and a queasy look on her face.

Scootaloo huffed “Yeah, that's okay then. Can you play with us again tomorrow?”

Raj shook his head “No can do kid, busy.” All three girls drooped their heads and let out synchronized groans of disappointment. Raj rolled his eyes “Don't give me that. You have school, you won't even notice I'm gone.”

“We might, you don't know.” shot back Scootaloo.

Raj raised his hands, surrendering “Next day I take off from the Everfree, I promise. Whatever you girls want to do, I'm all yours, okay?” After a few seconds of conferring looks he was met with a chorus of vigorous head-bobs. He smiled and said “Good, now let's get back. Sun's going down.”

The fillies unsteadily rose to their hooves and started trotting down the road, swerving drunkenly and pitching from residual dizziness. Applebloom listed so bad to the side she veered off the path and crashed into a stack of apple baskets, one of them cupped over her head.

Once Raj was done laughing he went over and lifted the basket off the dizzy filly. “Still out of sorts kid?”

“Maybe a little bit.” she admitted while she tried to get both her eyes to line up with the other.

“You want me to carry you?”

“Nuh-uh, I can do it.” She stood up and started cantering toward the farm, a little bit of sway to her step still.

“Wait, you'd carry us?” squeaked Sweetie Belle. “If we were tired or something?”

Raj shrugged “Sure, why not?”

Sweetie's eyes gleamed and she bonelessly flopped to the ground, grinning slyly. She moaned “Oh Rajrishi, I'm still dizzy from the game and it's just too hard for me to- whoa!” She cried as Raj scooped her up off the ground.

He tucked her against his torso and said “You don't have to be dramatic Sweetie, its fine.” She only gave a happy 'hmm' and buried her face against his chest.

They made the long walk back to the farmhouse slowly, stopping to laugh at some childish joke or observation one of them would make. The sun was well intent on setting by the time they came to the old farmhouse.

“Well there ya are.” noticed Applejack when she looked up from under the wagon she was working on. “Where ya been all day?”

“Playin' with Rajrishi.” chirped Applebloom

“The whole day?” asked Applejack.

“Yeah, he's real good at playing chase, and he can juggle.” added Scootaloo.

Applejack slid out from under the cart with the broken axle clutched in her hooves. “Sounds like a whole heap o' fun, but it's time to get washed up for supper Applebloom, and you two should get on home 'fore it gets dark.”

“Okay Applejack.” said all three in high-pitched unison. Applebloom retreated inside and Scootaloo buzzed away on her scooter, Sweetie Belle trailing behind in her attached wagon and waving goodbye.

Raj returned it and watched them go until they were a smudge of color passing through the distant fence.

Applejack smiled and said through a length of tape in her mouth as she worked to fix the axle “Ya really spent the whole day with them girls?”

“Not the whole day, just since lunch.” he answered. He looked over at her “They're little hellions, aren't they?”

She looked up from her work sharply “Rajrishi! That ain't a nice thing to say at all.”

He shrugged “Its true though?”

“Well, yeah, but it still ain't a nice thing to say.” she replied, a touch of laughter in her tone. “Ah'm happy to see ya'll getting along. Them girls seem real taken with you.”

“I guess. I've always been pretty good with kids. Helps that they like to play kinda rough. I have experience with that.” He grinned and brushed a layer of dust off his previously-clean shirt. He glanced around the yard and asked “Hey, have you seen Banjo around?”

“He's on the porch with Winona.” She let out a slight chuckle and muttered “They're getting along real well too.”

Raj cocked an eyebrow oddly and scanned the front of the house for the animals. When he saw them his eyes shot wide and he shouted “Banjo! Bad dog!” and broke into a run towards the animals.

Applejack's voice went smoky and she said to herself “Getting along real well.” before breaking into a peal of laughter.

Raj shoved Winona inside the house and closed the door while Banjo scratched and whined at it. Raj whapped his dog across the snout and scolded him harshly, eliciting whimpers and flat-tailed submission from the animal.

When Raj made his way back to Applejack she was still doubled over her ruined axle, laughing helplessly. Raj glanced away out of embarrassment and shifted uncomfortably. He muttered “I am so sorry Applejack. I swear he's never done that before.”

Applejack laughed a bit more before she regained her composure, hiccuping and letting out long breaths “Oh, ah wouldn't say that Rajrishi.”

Raj replied flatly “What?”

“Oh yeah, Banjo and Winona been going at it all over the place. In the barn, behind the shed, in the orchards...” She rattled off.

“Oh my god.” Raj pressed his face into his hands.

“...by the water pump, in the hay loft, in your bed...”

“OH MY GOD!” Raj shouted, looking at her with wild eyes.

Applejack burst into laughter again, leaning back and slapping her knee with a hoof. “Whoa nelly, ah hope that never gets old.”

Raj's shoulders sunk and he shot a salty look her way. “You are a terrible pony, the absolute worst.”

His insult only brought more good-natured laughter from her. “Aww, come on Rajrishi, ah'm just having some fun with ya.” she lightly punched his side.

“The absolute worst, bar none.” he gave an exaggerated pout before drifting into a smile and returning the shove with a light chuckle. “Guess I had that coming. Should have been keeping a closer eye on him.”

“Don't feel bad Rajrishi. Banjo's a good pooch. He'll be a fine daddy.”

For the second time that evening, Rajrishi replied with a flat “What?”

“Winona's getting to be about that age and ah know a few folks that'd be partial to a puppy. Just didn't know who to get to take care of the studdin' business. Yer boy seems fine takin' care of that though.”

“Ah, okay. Well good luck with that. Banjo's fixed.”

Applejack cocked an eyebrow “Fixed? Whaddya mean?”

“Y'know, like, um...” Raj held up two of his fingers and scissored them together “...fixed.”

She gave him a confused look. “What, was he broken or something? What's wrong with him?”

“Nothing, nothing's wrong with him. We just had him... neutered.”

Applejack continued to stare at him uncomprehending. “What's 'neutered' mean. Is that some sort of sickness or something?”

Raj tilted his head back and crooned in realization “Ohhh, that's not a thing in Equestria.”

“What's not a thing? What in tarnation are you talking about?” she replied, her tone confused and a little annoyed.

Raj held up his hands “Nothing! Nothing at all. Forget I said anything. Hey, let's talk about something other than our dogs, alright?” he pointed at the taped up shaft in her hooves. “Like that, what's going on with that? What are you doing?”

“This? This here's a wagon-axle. Came out earlier and the dang thing was broke. Mac musta been loading it too heavy again.”

“Anything I can do to help?”

“Nah, got it all taped up now. Just need to put it back in.” She stood up and hoofed over the the wagon.

“Tape? You sure tape's a good idea on something like that?”

She looked back at him “Ah only need it to hold for a bit. Ah'll manage a proper fix tomorrow.” She craned her neck around, searching the ground for something. “Now where'd I leave that jack? Ah know ah had when ah left the barn.”

Raj smirked and moved to the rear of the wagon. He grabbed the bumper and hauled up, lifting the thing to his eye level easily. “Who needs a jack?”

“Rajrishi!” Applejack scolded “Yer still mendin'. Yah shouldn't be exertin' yerself.”

“Oh, trust me Applejack. I'm not.” To illustrate his point he let go with one of his black hands, holding up the entire wagon with only his left arm and he pumped it a bit, creaking the wagon dangerously.

She gave him a lopsided smirk and drawled “Ah'm guessing that yer feelin' a bit better now?”

“Two weeks of no Everfree will do that to a guy. That and a diet of apples, all the apples. So many apples I can smell them in my sweat.” he paused for a second before adding “I've eaten a lot of apples, is what I'm getting at here.”

Applejack debated lecturing him for the sass, but decided to let it slide. She hooked the axle up to the undercarriage and slid the wheels back on. Raj gently lowered it back to the ground and gave it some experimental bounces. The whole thing didn't collapse, so Raj counted it as a successful repair job.

“That should do 'er. Thanks partner.” Applejack nudged against him before slipping herself into the harness on the front.

“Not a problem. Why you getting this thing fixed up now anyway? Didn't you say dinner's soon anyway?”

“Ah got a delivery to make.” she said as she started trotting towards the barn.

“What, now?” Raj glanced at the rapidly vanishing sun on the horizon. “You've got maybe twenty minutes of daylight left.”

“Ah know that. This is a... special customer.” Her face crinkled a bit and she looked away.

“Okay.” he replied, put off a bit by her unfamiliar body language. “You want some help? I could go with, carry some to make sure the wagon isn't overloaded.”

She sighed “No, it's better if yah don't. This is something ah hafta do.”

“You don't sound excited.”

“Ah'm not.” She slumped out of her harness and scooped a basket of apples stacked near the barn onto her back. “But it's something that needs to be done, and Macintosh did it last time.”

Raj frowned “Sorry.”

“Not yer fault, but thanks.” she slid the third basket into the back of the wagon and closed the hitch. “No doing complaining 'bout it though. Better to just get to it. Ah should be back in a little over an hour. Tell Mac 'n Granny where ah am, wouldja?”

“Sure thing.” Applejack nodded and trotted off, her rickety wagon dragging behind.

Raj waved after as she disappeared into the fading light.

* * *

Raj was most of the way to sleep when he heard the heavy thump of something rolling down the stairs.

He sat up and blearily rubbed his eyes, muttering wordlessly to himself. He waited a moment, seeing if the noise would repeat itself or if he would hear stirrings from the rest of the house. Nothing was forthcoming so he laid his head back down on his pillow and stayed like that for all of ten seconds before he realized that his brain wouldn't let him get anywhere near sleep unless he checked.

Cursing colorfully, he swung his legs off the small bed and lit the small hand lamp on his nightstand. He pulled on a pair of Mac's old shorts and strode out into the hall. He padded quietly to the top of the stairs and froze when he heard a groan echo up from the bottom.

“Applejack?” he whispered, lightly tiptoeing down the stairs. “Applejack is that you?” He started down the stairs, eventually seeing the orange pony sprawled out at the bottom.

“Oh god, Applejack.” Raj rushed to her and laid a hand on her. She groaned and recoiled from it a bit. “Applejack, can you hear me?” She murmured something inaudible and tried to stand up. She made it about halfway before collapsing. Raj caught her and set her down. He said “Okay, stay here. I'm getting Granny Smith.”

Her eyes shot open and she grabbed at his arm. She hissed “No, yah can't. Don't get Granny, don't get anyone.”

Raj shook his head “But-”

“Just get me to the sofa.” She ordered and winced, clutching her belly.

He complied, lifting her up by her middle and swiftly carrying her to the couch. He clicked the switch on the base of a table-side lamp and finally got a good look at Applejack.

Even in the bad light Raj could tell she was in rough shape. A purple shadow clouded over her left eye and she was clutching at her leg, curling it up like she didn't want it disturbed. Her mane and tail ties had been somehow lost and they were in wild disarray, sticking up at odd angles and matted down with something brown and gritty. Her coat was darkened in spots, heavy bruises shining through, and along the left side of her ribs a trio of wide gouges scraped from her shoulder to her hip.

“Someone did this to you.” It wasn't a question.

She looked up at him and muttered “Rajrishi, calm down. Ah'm fine, okay, ah'm fine.”

“That's good, but I need to know who.” he asked, a hard edge creeping through the control he tried to keep on his tone.

“Rajrishi!” She almost shouted, reaching up to him and coming up short. “You cool yer jets, alright? Ah don't want nopony, 'specially you, going off and hurtin' somepony else fer something that was mah own danged fault. Now calm down!”

“I'm calm.” He sucked in a deep breath and let it out between clenched teeth. “I'm calm Applejack.”

She seemed to accept that and settled into her space on the couch. “Good, that's good.”

“Great. Now what happened?”

“Ah fell comin' up the stairs. Is all.” She said, her face screwing up when she said it.

Raj blinked. “Really?”

“Celestia's honest.”

“And I suppose the stairs are what clawed your side like that?” He asked tonelessly.

Applejack shifter in her spot, trying fruitlessly to cover up the gash. “That's, um, that's nothing. Don't you worry about it.”

“I'm getting Granny.” He started to walk away.

She bolted up and grabbed his hand in her hooves. “No, yah can't. Please.”

“Fine, then I'll get Macintosh.”

“Ya can't get him neither, ya can't get nopony, alright?” She shook her head imploringly “Nopony else can know about this.”

“Why?” He yanked his hand out her grip. “Why the hell are you covering like this for someone who hurt you?”

She sat up on the couch, looking at him imploringly. “Cause ah need to, alright? Them knowing 'bout this won't change nothing 'cept putting the fear of Celestia in mah family. It's not gonna happen again and they don't need to know it happened at all.”

“But what did happen?” Raj asked.

Applejack bit her lip and looked away, her eyes going wild for a second. “Ah, ah can't tell you neither.”

“Oh come on.” he groaned.

“Shush! Do you want to wake up everypony in the house?”

“If your going to ask me to lie for you, then I'll need to know what I'm lying about.”

She pondered for a second and offered“Ah was doing something mah job needs me to do, ah screwed it up, and ah hurt mahself. Mah family don't even know that it's dangerous, but it's something that has to happen 'n nopony else can do it.”

Raj was quiet for a moment, lost in thought before saying. “Okay.”

Applejack sputtered “W-what?”

“Okay. I won't tell anyone, and if they ask I'll lie.”

Applejack's gaped and her eyes went wide. “Just like that?”

“Just like that.” Raj nodded. “Are you going to be okay, or do you need to see a doctor?”

“Oh, right, that. Ah'll be fine. Ah'm an Earthpony, so I'll be all mended up in a few days. Worst of it'll be taken care of by mornin'.”

“Good. If any of the other Apples notice I'll tell them you fell down the stairs.”

Applejack smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of her head “Well, um, thanks but uh...” she trailed off “ah thought this would be harder.”

“I have experience holding back the whole truth to make people feel better Applejack. A lot of it. Are you going to be good getting to bed?”

“Yeah, ah should be.” She rolled off the sofa and settled on shaky hooves. Raj started to head for the stairs before Applejack called after him. “Thanks again Rajrishi, ah don't normally ask folk for this sort of-”

Raj cut in “It's fine Applejack. Like I said, I get it.” His brow furrowed and his voice hardened “But if this happens again, ever, I am going to find whoever did this to you.”

Applejack chuckled a bit, thinking he was joking.

Never a Day Off

Raj never got along with the water pump, that morning especially.

He grunted and pushed at the lever, forcing it down with stubborn creak. The device slowly went down, giving up a burst of clear, chilly water as it did so. He grimaced in triumph and hauled it back up, preparing to repeat the action.

It rankled him how much trouble the pump always gave him. Macintosh and Applejack were able to work the thing with their mouths, and Applebloom could get it going by herself on occasion. Even Granny Smith could work it when the mood struck her. But every time he needed to get a bath ready he worked up a sweat and almost snapped the handle off getting the thing going.

After a few more hard-won pumps it was flowing freely. He took a step back and glanced around in an effort to take his mind off the unfair device.

The sun was not yet high, the bottom edge of it almost gracing the horizon still. Even though it was still early, it was already warm enough to have some sweat beaded on his brow.

He heard the barn door creak open and short bark of laughter rolled from the structure. He glanced towards it and saw Applejack and her brother trotting out trailing carts full of empty baskets. Applejack was laughing at something her brother had said. He caught her eye and she gave a tip of her hat in a distant greeting.

Raj waved back and returned to his pump. He hadn't meant to look, but he still caught sight of the thin lines running down her side. Just two days of semi-rest and they were the only souvenir she still carried from her night of violence. By the next day there would be no proof at all of her ordeal.

Maybe that was why she'd been so insistent he keep it to himself. Wounds like that probably meant less when it took so little time to heal and there didn't seem to be any risk of long-term damage. Why get worked up by something that would only be an impediment for a few days?

He flexed his back and felt a sharp tug on the pink scars over his wounds. Two weeks of downtime had given him time to heal, but he wasn't done yet. He reached back and felt the tough, stippled arcs that marred his shoulder blades. He could see the appeal.

Seeing the subject of his deception fading right before his eyes definitely made the lie more palatable.

It'd been surprisingly easy to hide Applejack's secret. He'd actually told them the truth about her injuries, just not the whole of it: he'd been woken up by Applejack falling down the stairs and went to investigate. Applejack confirmed the story with mute nods and the Apples seemed to accept it and go about their day.

He immediately understood why she wanted to keep the truth from them. He'd seen up close and personal what happened to anything that threatened a member of the Apple family. He rubbed at the formerly broken point on his forearm, the grievous injury now just an echo of agony.

Applejack and her brother disappeared into the southern orchard. The trees there were heavy with fruit, but by the end of the day not a single apple would hang from their branches.

Whatever the Apples would do to the thing that hurt her, he was sure they deserved it.

“Heya Rajrishi. How's it going?” chirped a merry voice from behind him.

Raj shook his grim thoughts from his head. “Nothing kid, just thinking.” He turned to the smiling little pony “What's up, what're you doing?”

She giggled and shook the little pack slung on her shoulder “Ah got school today silly.”

“Right, of course.”

“You wanna walk with me?”

Raj flicked his gaze to the buckets stacked nearby and decided he needed a break. “Sure.”

“Cool.” Applebloom grinned happily and bounced in a circle around him as they headed down the path toward the farm's gate.

Applebloom asked “Water pump giving you trouble again?”

Raj's face soured “I am choosing not to talk about that wretched device.”

Applebloom giggled “It's just a water pump silly. If ya need to, just get some from the rain barrel next to the barn. Nopony will mind.”

“No, if I do that then the pump wins.” Raj said with a faux-serious expression.

Applebloom set into titters “Yer funny.”

“If you say so.” he shrugged.

They walked in companionable silence for a few minutes, Applebloom trotting along and humming something upbeat to herself. Raj smiled and watched her go until something caught his eye to his side. His head jerked to it and he caught the faintest edge of something fading behind a tree.

Raj squinted and said “Did you see-”

“Do you like oranges?”

“Wait, what?”

“Oranges?” reiterated Applebloom, blissfully unaware Raj started to ask her anything. “Do you like 'em?”

He focused on the spot the movement came from and saw nothing out of the ordinary, just a blank patch of dirt. He cautiously answered “...Sure, I like them well enough. Why?”

“Cause Aunty 'n Uncle Orange sent a big ole' box of 'em from their plantation. Ah tried to eat one but these little stringy bits got stuck between mah teeth. Is that normal?”

“Yeah, that's just a thing about oranges.” he confirmed.

“Oh.” her muzzle crinkled “Ah don't think ah like oranges much then.”

“Seems appropriate.”

She tilted her head in confusion for a moment and then realization hit her “Oh, you mean cause ah'm an Apple.”

“That is what I was getting at, yes.”

Applebloom laughed and returned to her song and skipping along the path. Raj smiled a bit, warmed by the filly's exuberance. He was about to join in on the cadence of it when something caught his eye again, this time on the other side of the road. He managed to make out a shape this time, something too big to be a bird or other small critter, before it faded behind a tree.

He pointed at it. “Did you see that?”

“Huh, see what?” Her head darted around

Raj scanned the trees and bushes around. The odd presence was gone, or at least hiding. He shook his head. “Nothing, nevermind. So, uh, what are you up to in school?”

Her face brightened “Ms. Cheerilee's gonna take us on a fieldtrip to Ghastly Gorge to study flowers this week! Today we're s'posed to learn about all the neat plants and stuff we'll find, like Blue Gems, Lillies, Fire Daisies...” the little filly continued to rattle off the exciting things she would be up to in the coming days

Raj listened as best he could while searching the orchard around him for stalking things.

* * *

The dinging bell above the schoolhouse signaled the beginning of the day and the the gaggle of multicolored little ponies filtered into the wide double doors. Raj barely made out Applebloom waving a hoof at him, little more than a yellow smudge at the distance he stood at, before she disappeared into the tall building.

His escorting duties taken care of, he started to leisurely stroll back to the farm. The day was pleasant enough, a light rain during the night kept the air from being dry without getting oppressively muggy. It would've been a good day for stomping the Everfree, he realized.

But he couldn't. Not yet.

Shortly he strolled past the gate to Sweet Apple Acres. He slapped a hand against the overhead arch just because he could and hummed the addictive song Applebloom had gotten stuck in his head. He walked with a bit of a bounce in his step, his mood noticeably lifted from his morning's sulk.

Such was the pleasant feeling he almost didn't notice the squat shape bound from the boughs of a tree at him.

Snapping to attention, Raj hopped back and landed in a fighter's crouch. The low creature turned to him and snarled, glaring with hooded eyes.

One look at it and he immediately knew it was a canine of some sort. The head and coat were right for it and the back legs were stifled like a normal dog, but the front limbs werethick with muscle despite the thing's size and it rested on its knuckles. If Raj had to guess he'd say it was a cross between a gorilla and a rottweiler.

“What the-what, why?” He asked, confused about this thing's sudden appearance. In response the dog-creature bared its fangs and lunged, tearing at the ground with its heavy claws. It drove close and tried to chomp at his ankles but came up short as Raj danced away.

He snarled and lashed out a foot, catching the thing in the chest and making it crumple with a pained whine.

“That was unexpected.” He said, staring at the prone creature in front of him. “I'd have thought they'd tell me if there was a weird monkey-dog thing on the property, but I guess it slipped their mind. Let's get you to Doctor Flummox.” He crouched down to grab at him.

“Away not-pony!” The creature skittered back and growled.

“Ah, so you can talk. Neat, that'll make this next bit easier.” Raj stepped at the thing menacingly “Why did you attack me?”

“I not tell you anything not-pony!” The creature lunged, trying to snap his jaw on his calf.

Raj shuffled back but not far enough, the creature's teeth catching his foot. Pain flared there for a second before he lifted a leg and stomped, driving a heel into its back and slamming it to the ground. The force blew the thing's jaws open and it squirmed and growled underneath him.

Raj ground his foot into the creature's back. “I'll ask again, why did you attack me? For that matter, why have you been following me all morning?”

The creature struggled a bit and then did something Raj never expected. It started to rapidly claw at the dirt road, cleaving through the packed earth like it was made of pudding. In a bit more than a second the entire front half of the creature was underground.

Raj's balance was thrown and he staggered back. He lost a moment to surprise at seeing the creature's unique method of retreat, but quickly shook it off. He ignored every screaming instinct in his mind and dove, reaching into the dark, growling hole with his bare hand and grabbed blindly. He felt something fleshy hit the palm of his hand and he pulled with a grunt of exertion, ripping the dog-beast from its hole in a burst of dirt and dust.

He lifted the bewildered creature up to chest height and held it out and away. It dangled like a fish on a line by its knobbed tail and yelped and spit as it struggled in his grip. “Put me down not-pony, put me-”
The thing was interrupted when Raj jacked his fist directly into its face, causing it to sputter and its eyes to roll obscenely.

“I won't ask you again.” He pulled his hand back again.

“No, please don't hurt,” the thing shied away and sputtered in fear “I-I'm sorry, sorry!”

“Keep talking mutt.”

It nodded feverishly “I attack because I not get pony I sent to get.”

“You mean Applebloom, the little yellow pony?” He asked.

The dog nodded “Yes, that one, with big bow. I supposed to get her.”

Raj growled “Why?”

“Don't know, just told to, not question.”

Raj glared “So you followed her to school.”

The dog continued nodding quickly “Yes, but not-pony go with. I watch, wait for you to leave yellow-pony alone, but you not leave alone. I get mad, I attacks. Makes sense, right?”

“So if I hadn't been there, you would have attacked and made off with a helpless little kid?”

“Uh, yes?” The thing said with a sheepish grin.

Raj tightened his grip on the thing's tail and pulled back a hand back to strike again. The creature yelped and raised its claws to defend itself, whimpering slightly.

It was the first time Raj got a good look at the thing's paws. They were caked with dirt and small stones from its attempted escape, but the unmistakable shape of claws protruded from the mess. They were short, stubby things that curved like shovels, ideal for digging but also likely good for fighting. The form of them reminded him of something he saw earlier that day, a trio of close set cuts that were wide but not very deep.

It clicked in his head after a second “You're one of the things that attacked Applejack two nights ago, you beat the crap out of her and slashed her side.” he said, his voice icy.

The dog-creature's eyes widened and it waved its paws in front of it “No, no, I not hurt orange apple-hat, I never hurt anypony. I good dog, good dog!”

Raj cocked his head to the side and sneered “Yeah, cause good dogs kidnap children, no questions asked.”

The creature started nodding again but then stopped itself, its eyes darted to the side. “Uhh... yes?”

“No.” Raj punched it again, his fist burying in the creature's gut. The thing let out a breathless whine and curled up. He lifted it up to his face level and hissed “If I ever see you again, on this farm or anywhere, I will beat you to death with my bare hands. Is that understood.”

The creature mutely nodded, its face screwed up in pain.

“Good, now try and roll when you land.” the dog-creature's face screwed up in confusion before Raj hiked an arm back and wheeled the thing around. He grunted and swung his arm, hurling the dog creature into a high arc over the lanes of trees.

Raj stood still, listening, and after a few seconds heard a distant splash when the creature hit the stream five rows over. He was surprised, he didn't think he could hurl the little beast that far.

Satisfied, he flexed his cramped hand and rubbed at his shoulder. The thing had been smaller than Banjo but weighed even more. Holding it aloft had been surprisingly hard and chucking it even harder.

None of that mattered then, he needed to find Applejack.

* * *

Finding her proved to be surprisingly easy. All he had to do was follow the loud whumps.

As he drew near Applejack slammed her hooves into the tree of golden delicious, shaking the fruits down into waiting buckets. Macintosh grabbed one in his mouth and tossed it into the packed wagon.

Applejack wiped her hoof across her brow and shook her mane out before throwing him a friendly wave. Raj did not return it.

She trotted up to him. “Heya Rajrishi, what brings you around these parts?”

“Why did a little mole-dog try to kidnap your sister ten minutes ago?” he asked flatly.

She sputtered back at him. “W-what, is she okay?”

His tone going harsh “She's fine, and at school. Now I ask again, why did a little mole-dog try to kidnap your sister ten minutes ago?”

“Keep yer voice down!” She hissed, glancing over her shoulder at her brother.

Macintosh looked up from his baskets and shot a grunt their way through on held in his teeth. “Whazzat?”

“Nothin' Big Mac, just keep mindin' them apples, ah'll be right back.” when she looked back at Raj her look was smoldering “You come with me.” she grabbed his wrist in a hoof and started pulling him away.

Once they were a few rows away Applejack threw his arm down and hissed “What're you doin', saying those things where Macintosh can hear?”

“So glad that's your first concern.”

“Why, you...” Applejack's face flushed in anger but she suppressed that quickly. “Fine, ah'm sorry. Just tell me what happened.”

“I walked with Applebloom to school and noticed something following us. Every time I tried to catch it, it disappeared so I thought I was seeing things. I wasn't, some strange mole-dog was following your sister and wanted to snatch her. The only reason he didn't is because I was there.”

Applejack let out a relaxed sigh “Okay, good, thank Celestia that's all.

“They would have gotten her too if I hadn't been there. It was pure luck she asked me to walk her to school.” He crossed his arms “Now why was that... thing after her in the first place?”

“Don't you worry none about that, its something ah need to tend to. Wait...” Her eyes narrowed “If you never caught the thing, how do you know it was after mah sis?”

“Because the thing attacked me on my way back and I beat the tar out of him.”

Applejack stiffened “What?”

“The mean little beast was mad I kept him from getting to Applebloom so he tried to jump me. I thrashed him good and he told me all this.”

Applejack blanched, her face stricken with horror “No, no, no nononono. What have you done, What've you done!” she flopped down and held her head in her hooves “Ah can't, why did you...” she trailed off into incoherent mumbles.

“Applejack, what do you-” He stepped closer.

Applejack shoved him back. “Get away Rajrishi, you miserable bastard!” Tears streamed from her eyes “Why, why'd you have to go and do that fer?”

Raj looked back and forth helplessly before a deep voice sounded from the next row over “Don't blame him AJ, ain't his fault.”

“Macintosh!” Applejack wiped at her eyes “How, uh, how long you been listenin'?”

The big pony stepped into the clearing “Long enough to know Rajrishi here didn't do nothing wrong. He was just protecting Applebloom the way anypony should. He didn't know.”

“Didn't know what, what did I actually do?”

Macintosh looked to his shuddering sister and frowned. He looked Rajrishi in the eye and sighed before saying “Welp, you mighta just destroyed the farm Rajrishi.”

To Feel Safe Again

“First off, they're called Diamond Dogs.”

“That's a weird name.” Raj lowered himself onto a bale of hay “I'm pretty sure they aren't made of diamond.”

Macintosh looked at him blankly, not sure if Raj was being obtuse or trying to make a joke. His sister continued for him “They're underground critters that like fancy gems 'n things. Whole mess 'em live out past the river in Ponyville Flats.”

“Alright, why was one of them here though?” Raj leaned back and crossed his arms.

Applejack sighed and hung her head “Probably cause Ace told him to.”

Raj scowled “What's an Ace?”

Applejack shuddered lightly, the movement going unnoticed by Macintosh. The red pony spoke up “He's the new Alpha they got, a real mean sumbitch. Showed up in the flats a while ago and just took right on over and bullied the lot of them into following him. Told 'em all they weren't allowed to come into town no more.”

“They were allowed in town before that?” He asked, sounding a little surprised.

“Yeah, they'd come in and trade sometimes. Gems for things. The most they ever got into was a dustup at the market over something tiny or getting fresh with somepony.” Applejack chuckled a bit “It was kinda funny really. They'd apologize eventually and that was the worst of it.”

“After Ace showed up though, things got worse.” slurred Macintosh while Applejack closed her eyes. “A couple weeks after Ace showed up, a few trees in the southern orchard done disappeared, nothing but a plot of twisted earth left behind and some leaves.”

“The Diamond Dogs were stealing your trees?” he asked, disbelieving.

“Yup, sucked 'em straight underground by the roots.” Macintosh tapped a hoof on the dirt floor of the barn for emphasis. “Course, we only knew that when one of them varmints showed up and told us as much.”

“Why'd he do that?” Raj asked, already pretty sure of the answer.

“Said they'd stop, so long as we gave them food.” Macintosh shrugged “So we did.”

Raj gave a knowing nod and leaned back. “And let me guess, they pretty quickly started asking for more?”

Applejack looked down “It was so little to start, just one sack of apples, that's all. Then they started calling for corn, and then cider.”

“It was a month before they wanted a pig.” said Macintosh.

“A month?” Raj looked between the two “How long has this been going on?”

The siblings paused for a second before Macintosh answered for them “Almost half a year now.”

“Jesus...” Raj shook his head “Why didn't you ask someone for help, talk to some, I don't know, police horses or something?”

“We tried that, after the first few weeks.” Applejack admitted “A few of the Guard came and watched over the farm for a spell. Even went out to Ponyville flats and gave 'em a talking to. Soon as they was gone they dug the foundation out of one of our sheds and destroyed half a field of green-beans. Said we'd get it a hunnerd times worse if'n we went to anypony else. Said they'd be watching us to make sure.”

“It- it started out so small, but things just kept getting worse.” Applejack stuttered “They were showing up at the farm, harassing us while we worked.”

“They beat you up when you went to deliver to them.” he added, which brought a look of alarm to Big Macintosh's face.

Applejack's head snapped up and she looked fierce for a second before it faded into resigned melancholy. She looked at her brother sheepishly and quietly muttered “Yeah, they did.”

“Well that's that then.” rumbled Macintosh's as he rose to his hooves. “This has gone on long enough. Ah'll be back later.”

“Where're you going?” asked Applejack.

“Ah'm rounding up a posse, gonna fetch a mess o' ponies from in town 'n any Apples in walking distance. Might even send a 'gram out to Braeburn. He owes us after that business with the buffalo. He can probably rustle up a few folks who don't mind a fight. Can be here by sundown if ah go now.”

“What?” Applejack asked, her voice edged with panic as she galloped up next to him “No, no, no Macintosh, you can't do that, don't go startin' something!”

“They went after Bloom AJ, Bloom.” He growled, his eyes narrow. “The only reason she's safe is cause Rajrishi- Thank you for that by the way-”

“No problem.”

“-happened to be following her today. We both know that mangy mutt will come and destroy the farm if we do nothing.”

“Ah'm not saying we do nothing, we should, uh, we should...” She glanced around the barn for a second, weighing her options “We need to get another load together and send it over. Try and iron out any soreness from one of his boys getting worked over.”

Macintosh gave his sister a level look “You really think that'll work?”

“Yeah, ah do.” she nodded to confirm.

“Horseshit.”

“Macintosh!”

“Well, ah'm sorry, but that's what it is. Horse. Shit.” He huffed a heavy breath “All this appeasing was a bad idea from the start. From day one we shoulda fixed them dogs, maybe even broke out Grand-daddy's axes and showed 'em what it means to mess with the Apples!”

“Calm down Macintosh.” She put a hoof on his shoulder and looked at him sternly “It ain't gonna help nopony if you get all worked up and do something stupid.”

“AJ, ah-”

“Hush up. Yer mad, ah get that. We're gonna do something alright, but not now. Right now, we gotta secure the farm. If'n we don't, Ace could come here at any minute. Then Granny'll know what's what and so will Bloom, heck so will the whole town.”

“But-”

“But nothing Macintosh, this is what we're doing and that's that!” She stomped her hoof and tilted her head back.

Big Mac stood up to her stern gaze for a few second before muttering “...fine.”

Applejack nodded “Good. Now go inside and help Granny with lunch. Ah'll get a load together and run it out. We'll talk 'bout this later, when we both got cooler heads.”

The big pony turned away gruffly and clopped back to the house, his head hung low and murmuring unkind things.

Applejack watched him until he was in the house and set to work loading the wagon with apples and other goods. Raj watched her for a few minutes before saying “He's right you know.”

“What's that?” She asked around a basket of fruit in her mouth.

“He was right. This isnt' gonna work.”

Applejack sneered “Hush up. You don't know nothing.”

Raj stood “Applejack, have you given this Ace-dog everything he's asked for, whenever he wanted it?”

She thought about it for a second “Just about, yeah. We were late a few times but yeah.”

“And he still sent one of his cronies after your sister, your sister Applejack, a defenseless kid.”

“You think ah don't know that?” Applejack snapped “You think ah'm not terrified 'bout what coulda happened if you weren't there? But Ace won't care, he'll just see it as someone disrespecting him, and Ace won't stand for somepony disrespecting him!” she gestured a leg at the half-full cart “Ah know this probably won't work, ah know it probably won't, but if there's even the smallest chance it'll keep them dogs at bay it's worth a shot.”

Raj stared at her, disbelieving “If you know that appeasing him won't work, then why not try something else? Go with Mac's plan, or come up with something else to get rid of these things.” He put a hand on his chest “I'll help you if that's the problem, I don't mind. We can deal with Ace, Applejack.”

"Ah said no, alright? We're gonna deliver this, Ace is gonna get all his soreness out, and when we get back Macintosh'll be calmed down enough to forget 'bout all this fire and brimstone talk. And so're you, its the only way we can be safe."

"From what, a single dog? I'll deal with it if it comes down to that."

“Ya don't understand, okay? Ya just don't!” She bit her lip and shook her head “You don't know how dangerous Ace is. What he can do!”

Raj narrowed his eyes “What are you talking about?”

Applejack stared at him with wide eyes, her head low. Her voice dropped to a frightened whisper “About two weeks after all this started, Ace asked for more from us, a lot more. Well, ah told him no then. Got how you and Macintosh are getting now, there's a line and ah ain't gonna cross it. Ace said okay, took what I was there to give, and ah went home neat as you please.”

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Next morning, Applebloom starts complaining 'bout losing her favorite bow, one she'd put little sequins on right over her ears. Said she looked all over for it but couldn't find it.” She gulped, her legs starting to shiver “Later that day ah found a little red bow with sequins out in the field, all tore up and pissed on.”

Rajrishi's eyes widened and Applejack started breathing fast. “She was sleeping in it Rajrishi, sound as an angel, and they just plucked it right off her head without none of us noticing. Not me, Granny, Macintosh, heck, not even Winona.”

“I didn't, I'm sorry Applejack.”

“Ah ain't told nopony that before, cause if'n ah d-did they'd be as scared as ah am.” She looked down at her wobbling hooves and her voice started to shiver “So ah gotta do this, cause ah can't live like this, all afraid the next time ah open a door in mah own damn house ah'm gonna find- ah'm gonna...”

Raj dashed forward and wrapped Applejack in a tight hug, holding her while she shuddered and sobbed. “It's okay Applejack, we'll go, we'll go.”

She didn't answer him. All she did was cry into his shoulder

* * *

The sun was nearing its apex by the time they reached the Flats.

Applejack fanned herself with her hat. “Shouldn't be much further now, ah recognize that rock.” She jerked toward an outcrop of stone. “Cave should be just over yonder.”

“Good. Now what exactly should I expect from these... things?”

“They're probably gonna burst up outta the ground, start barking and hoopin' and hollerin'. A few of 'em might try to nip at yer hooves or growl atcha. Don't react though, that only eggs 'em on. Just let me do the talking and say what ah told you to.”

“Alright Applejack, and what should I do if that doesn't work?”

“Hush up!” She hissed “Ah think they're coming.”

Raj started to say something in reply but was cut off by an explosion of dirt to his side. A filth crusted Diamond Dog leaped out of the ground and bounded towards him, baying madly.

Raj reared back to strike the thing but it ground to a halt just outside his reach. It flashed him a yellow grin and broke into a fit of laughter while it bounced away to circle the wagon.

The ground burst at several more spots around and similarly soiled creatures sprang forth. They started cavorting and leering at them. They barked and brayed, snapping their jaws close and smacking the dirt with their shovel-like paws.

Raj was caught half between feeling intimidated and bursting out laughing. He instead opted for aggravated when one kicked dirt onto his boots and ran away giggling. Raj leaned near Applejack and half-whispered “They always like this?”

She sighed and shrugged “More or less. Be glad they ain't tryin' to stool on ya like they did last time.”

Raj paused “Wait, was that before or after they beat you up?”

She shot him a sideways glance before admitting “Yes.”

“Gross.”

“Yeah it was.”

A sharp bark tore across the rocky field and the prancing dogs immediately halted where they were. They backed away from the pair, heads low and groveling. Loping out of a proper cave came a great beast, black as a chunk of coal and eyes settled in a permanent glare. Where most other Diamond Dogs wore some article of clothing, a vest, a hat, a misshapen helmet or a studded collar, this one eschewed the trappings of civilization and was simply stark naked. His muzzle was curled up in a permanent snarl from a section of torn away lip and cheek, the blood red of his gums the only color in his otherwise pitch black appearance.

“I'm guessing that's Ace?” He asked.

“Yeah, it is.”

As it came near with drawn out slowness, Raj took the chance to appreciate just how big the creature was. The largest of the dogs around him were eye level with Applejack, if they stood upright they'd be right at his sternum. Ace could manage that in a hunch.

The big dog scanned the area in front of him and let out a low growl that raised Applejack's hackles and made Raj clench his fists. There was an elemental tone to it that inspired dread, something embedded deep that made other creatures wary and nervous.

Applejack slid out of her harness with uneasy haste and stepped forward. “Uh, Mister Ace, yer probably wonderin' why ah'm here.”

Ace tilted his head, a wash of drool flooding out of his ruined cheek.

Applejack continued “Well, its about the misunderstandin' mah friend Rajrishi had with one o' yer dogs, 'n ah'm afraid he mighta gotten hurt as a result. Well ah'm here to head off any bad blood that mighta caused with a whole 'nother shipment of our finest, neat as you please.”

Ace knuckle-walked forward to Raj's side of the cart.. He grabbed a big green apple and sniffed at it. He was within arm's reach, close enough for Raj to smell the reek of old blood that clung to his coat.

Applejack craned her neck around to keep an eye on him. “Of course, this here wagon is in addition to what we normally send ya. We'll be sendin' another one yer way at the end of the month.” She flashed a desperate smile.

The creature's beady little eyes flicked up and met hers for a second. His paw clenched on the apple in his grip and he let out a rumbling growl while his gaze swept back to Rajrishi.

Applejack's eyes widened and she started to step away “W-what's a matter? Is, uh, is the apples-”

She never finished when Ace grabbed the cart in both his front paws and flung it up, spraying fruit in a wild arc and sending the thing tumbling end over end. Applejack ducked on instinct, covering her eyes with her fetlocks. The cart hit the ground upside down, apples crushed to pulp underneath the shattered wagon.

Raj jumped back in surprise and made like he was going to strike. A pair of big Diamond Dogs swept in between him and Ace, low and growling. Raj stopped and glanced around, seeing the rest of the dogs in similar states of violent readiness.

Applejack shakily lifted her head and inspected the ruined wagon. Her vision was cut off when a oil-black paw slammed onto the stone directly in front of her face.

Ace stared down at her for a second before he let out a fetid breath that washed over the prone pony's face. He rose to his full height and rumbling like an earthquake “Did you come here to insult me pony?”

Applejack stared up at the looming beast and shuffled backwards, head still no. “No Ace, er, uh, Mister Ace. Ah came here to give you the goods you been asking for. Look, there's a whole four dozen eggs in there, well, maybe a bit less now on account of the-”

“SHUTUP!” shouted Ace with enough force Raj could feel it. “You come here, simpering and mewling. That was good, that is what you ponies are meant to be like, weak little things. It is how you belong, it is what you should be doing.” He grinned, or maybe didn't, Raj couldn't tell easily.

“But you brought that here!” He pointed a blunt claw at Rajrishi and every dog in the quarry seemed to growl at him in unison. “A mutant thing from the Dark Forest, a Dog-Keeper like you. The two-leg notpony that hurt one of my dogs.” He leaned in and spit-growled the last few words into Applejack's face, making her recoil from the vile smell. “You think eggs and apples are worth the pain of one dog?”

“Well, um, ah don't- ah brought him here to apologize to you fer-”

“Shutup,” he repeated, though much calmer, and grabbed Applejack roughly by the scruff of her neck and lifted her up to eye level. “You forget Applehat. That,” he pointed in the vague direction of Sweet Apple Acres “is my farm. Those are my trees, my apples, my chickens, and my pigs. MINE.” He gave her a vigorous shake “Do you hear me Applehat?”

“Y-yeah, ah do.” She stuttered back.

“Then say it.” He hissed “Say it back.”

Applejack gulped and mumbled something.

“Louder Applehat.” growled Ace as he squeezed tighter.

“It's your farm! Alright, it's your farm!” She screamed finally, a thin tear streaking down her face. The naked anguish to her words made Raj grind his teeth together.

“You're damn right, filthy pony.” he dropped her to the dirt “And I don't want that thing on my farm anymore!” He gestured in Raj's vague direction.

“What? But you- Gah!” Her voice cut out into a cry of pain when Ace gave her a rough cuff across the face.

“It doesn't listen!" He cried out mockingly while giving her another rough slap "How about you not-pony, did you hear Ace?” the big black dog stepped closer to Raj, sliding between the pair of dogs guarding over him.

Raj glanced about and quietly replied “Yeah, I did.”

“Good, then you are smarter than Applehat. Maybe you smart as a rock too.” exaggerated laughs came from the dogs nearby and Ace paused to listen to it. “Say it back then, make sure you know.”

“You want me to leave the farm.”

“Yes, yes, good! It does understand.” He clapped his meaty paws together and pointed north “Now go.”

Raj's brow furrowed “What?”

“It not as smart as I thought.” he chuckled before sidling within a hand's breath of Raj's face “Go, leave. Walk that way until you can't. Never come back.”

Raj glanced to the north. From his vantage there was nothing but rocky barrens for miles and beyond that he had no idea. Seeing his hesitation, Ace leaned in closer and spat “Now!”

Raj turned back to the Diamond Dog Alpha and said as calmly as he could “I don't think so.”

Ace's eyes shrunk to pinpricks while his dogs went suddenly silent “What did you say not-pony.”

Raj clenched his fists and stood a little taller “You heard me.”

“But you not hear me, I told you to LEAVE N-”

Ace's shout cut into a yelp of pain when Raj's black fist slammed into his muzzle hard enough to make a sound like breaking stone. The big dog went rocketing back, sailing over Applejack's prone form, bounced on the ground once and crashed into a rock outcrop with enough force to shift it.

All the Diamond Dogs went wide eyed and slack jawed, not a single breath passing between them. Applejack looked up from her position, her head switching back and forth between Raj and Ace's downed form. Her mouth worked noiselessly, trying to form words but coming up short. Raj shook out his hand, cursing under his breath at the pain in his knuckles.

Before the dust had even settled from his landing, the big black dog sat up, spat out a tooth, and shouted “KILL IT! KILL IT NOW!”

And then all hell broke loose.

Escalation

The Dogs were on him in a second.

The first, a slobbering beast with a heavy helmet over his brow, dove at his shins. Raj snapped out a leg and drove the toe of his boot into the thing's jaw hard enough to send the creature careening into his neighbor.

His counterattack made a hole in the press of dogs and Raj drove through it, lashing out at any dogs that happened to be in reach. Some of the smarter ones backed off, the rest kept charging after him.

Raj hopped up on the overturned cart, using its height to his advantage. Diamond Dogs bounded up the sides and were struck back to the ground with sharp punches or cruel stomps.

Applejack stayed on the ground, staring at the fight with a slack jaw and painfully wide eyes “No... no... can't be, not now.”

Raj didn't notice her rambling and yanked an idly spinning wheel off the wagon and started batting at the dogs that scrabbled up the sides of the wagon with it. One of the smaller ones bounded off its companion and gnashed at Raj's arm. He caught the meat of his forearm in his jaws and clamped down, locking in place. Raj swore and wrapped a black hand around the small creature's neck, squeezing tight enough to feel tendons shift and blood vessels burst. The dog's mouth was forced open and he clawed at the hand on his throat. Sneering, Raj tossed him aside to land in a sputtering heap.

A second after that he felt a trio of blunt claws tear across his lower back. He tensed for a second and spun in a looping punch. Luckily, it was one of the bigger dogs and his swing didn't go high. Instead it hit the creature right in his bull-dog jowl with enough force to send a spray of teeth out of his mouth and launch him pinwheeling to the ground.

Ace watched all this with steadily growing fury. One by one his dogs were laid low and either left in groaning heaps or sent limping away with cracked bones or bruised flesh. Those that didn't get hurt kept their distance from the human on the cart, their tails tucked low and the acrid scent of fear bursting from every one of them.

The Diamond Dog Alpha gnashed his teeth and growled, the matted hair on the back of his neck raising. His bloodshot eyes darted around and settled on Applejack's prone form.

“You,” he accused “this is your fault Applehat.” He stepped close, his dirty claws flexed out. “You brought that thing here.”

Applejack slid back “Whoa now, pardner, whoa.”

“I will eat your heart!” Ace clawed at her, raking across her flank. Applejack howled and scrabbled at the stony ground.

Raj's gaze snapped up to the sound and a he felt a surge of rage. He flipped the wheel in his hand and flung it at Ace like a frisbee. The wooden disc sailed directly towards his face but was deftly caught in his strong jaws. His beady little eyes narrowed and he clench his mouth, pulverizing the wood into splinters. He loosed a bloody bark of challenge and started loping towards Raj's postion.

Seeing the big beast coming at him, Raj bounded off the turned wagon, sailing over the heads of the remaining dogs that clamored to get on the vehicle, and landed in a sprint towards Ace.

The big dog leaped up and brought his arms high, intent on pulverizing Raj with his brutish strength. Raj sidestepped and ducked, chopping a hand into the back of the creature's smaller back leg. The limb went numb immediately and Ace stumbled to the dirt amidst growls and snarls of rage.

Raj watched him fall for a second and made his way over to Applejack's prone form. “Applejack, we need to go, can you walk?”

“H-huh?” She answered shakily.

“Can you walk Applejack, can you walk?” he repeated.

“Yeah let's get go-behind!” Her answer cut off into a sharp warning.

Raj spun to see Ace bounding towards him, bloody froth leaking from his mouth and his eyes wide with rage. He came at him with outstretched, flexing claws. Raj raised his hands to defend and ended up interlocking their fingers. The beast's sheer weight forced him from his feet and onto his back.

As soon as they hit the ground Ace was leaning in, biting at his face and growling mad fury. Raj grimaced away from the fetid reek of his breath and the crimson foam that dripped onto his face. He tried to kick at the creature over him but Ace was securely straddling his waste, keeping his legs in a useless position. The mad dog pushed their arms wide and got his face close enough for his fangs to grace him, tearing two ragged gashes over his cheekbone. He snarled out “I kill you! I kill all of you!”

Raj heard a grunt of effort followed by a a solid thwack over him and he felt Ace stop struggling. He cracked open one eye to see the black beast shaking his head drunkenly. A pair of orange hooves stabbed in again and hit him squarely in the forehead hard enough to draw blood. Ace's grip slackened and Raj pushed him off.

He stood up, wiping bloody drool from his face and wheezing breath. He looked down at Ace, his head lolling and his eyes spinning in his head. The rest of the dogs loomed nearby, most with the fight beaten out of them but some still intent on fulfilling their Alpha's order, but even they were flicking their eyes at their prone leader.

The two of them didn't even need to say anything, they just started running.

* * *

“Ah don't care if Aegaeon himself is gonna come knockin' on the door, ah ain't goin' nowhere!” declared Granny Smith with a stamp of her hoof.

It took almost an hour to explain the situation to the old mare, everything from the tributes to the Diamond Dogs to the odd occurrences on the farm being explained away by Applejack and Macintosh all the way up to her and Raj's encounter earlier that morning. She was understandably upset to learn the situation, but was absolutely livid at the suggestion she run away from the farm.

“But Granny-”

“No buts Applejack, this is mah home. I will not abandon it and that's final!”

“Mrs. Smith, we're not asking you to abandon your house, just clear out for a bit while we get this sorted. Shouldn't take more than a day or two. Think of it as a vacation.” Raj added diplomatically.

“Don't give me that youngster,” She eyeballed him. “That bullplop ain't gonna fool me. I ain't budgin'. Me and this house weathered the parasprites, the fire-hail, the solid fog, even those dang phoenixes, we'll survive these dog extortionists.”

“Granny, you don't understand.” Applejack implored “This is different, this is way more dangerous!”

“She's right Granny. Them dog's are out of control.” agreed Macintosh.

The old mare shot them a look that could have curdled milk “And who let it get that bad?” the pair winced as she continued “Keepin' something like this to yourselves and going behind everypony's backs. It's gotta be one of the most lowdown things I could imagine an Apple doing! What were you ponies thinking?”

Applejack and Big Macintosh looked away in shame. She stammered “W-we didn't want ya'll to worry none.”

“Ah'm yer Grandmother! It's mah got-dang job to worry!” she all-but-shouted.

The Apple siblings cowered beneath their Grandmother's withering gaze before the old matron backed off and let out a fatigued sigh. “Well, there's no use whinnyin' 'bout it now. What's done is done. Now then,” She settled herself down at the kitchen table “what're we doin' about it?”

The three of them stood in uncomfortable silence before Granny said “Well?”

Raj spoke up “We're gonna send someone to Applebloom's school, get her to spend the night at one of her friend's houses, maybe longer if needed. After that, we secure the farm.”

Granny snorted “Is that it? We hole up and wait?”

“Of course not. Applejack?”

The orange pony stepped forward “Macintosh came on the idea to rustle up a posse and march on down to their warrens. Show 'em what for with a whole mess of ponies. Should get 'em off our backs. Ah was gonna get that going, but if'n yer gonna stay maybe you should be the one to reach out to the family.”

“I'll write up a few telegrams. Ya'll can run 'em into town for me. But this don't mean ah'm leaving the farm.”

Applejack shook her head vigorously “Course not Granny, course not, and, uh...” she hoofed at the ground “Ah'm sorry Granny. We both are for, for lyin'.”

Granny's stern gaze softened the slightest bit and she said “That's good child, apologies always matter. But let's hold onto that 'til we know how bad it gets.”

* * *

The next hour consisted solely of what the Apples do best, hard work.

As soon as Granny was done putting pen to paper Macintosh scooped the letters up and went galloping into town with a mumbled promise to hurry back.

Applejack set to fortifying the house. Windows were boarded up and doors were drilled with heavy deadbolts. Antiquities and items of value were boxed and stowed in the attic, safe from any raiding beasts that might come up through the floor.

Granny tended to the livestock. The chickens were herded into their coop and closed up, the pigs were gathered into their pens. Winona and Banjo were escorted to the neighbors farm and tied up, much to their whining dismay. The cows were let loose into their pasture with instructions to keep their eyes open and stay away from any dogs and, much to Raj's surprise, they agreed to do so.

He tried not to let the discovery of articulate livestock distract him. He too had a job to do. What was left of the Apple's supplies needed to be processed and stored. They couldn't harvest with Ace's dogs about, so they would need every last scrap of what they had.

So engrossed was he in his job that he didn't even hear the tiny creature come up behind him, only noticing her when she brightly cried out “Hiya Rajrishi!”

Raj let out a squeak of surprise and whirled around with the mallet he was using to seal up the crate. When he saw the red topped yellow creature he clenched everything tight to keep himself from moving. Tense as he was, it's almost a miracle he didn't simply swing and take the little pony's head off.

Thankfully, Applebloom didn't notice this and simply looked up at him with a bright smile. “Whatcha doin'?” she asked cheerfully.

“Applebloom, what are you doing here?” He asked back, “You're supposed to be at your friend's house. Didn't Mac go see you?”

“Yeah, he did. Talked Sweetie Belle's parents into lettin' me spend the night, then we got Scootaloo and Twist too, so we're gonna have a big Cutie Mark Crusaders(and Twist) sleepover!” She shouted, an excited little dance coming to her hooves “Ah just came home to get a few things, like mah pillow, mah toothbrush, a spare bow, y'know, important things.”

“That's not, shouldn't- you go...” Raj stammered, his eyes scanning around pointedly.

Applebloom's face fell “Something wrong Rajrishi?”

Raj shook his head, snapping himself out of the paranoid fugue he felt himself falling into. Scaring Applebloom would help nothing, and keeping her in the dark about what was going was the one thing the four adults agreed on. He smiled as genially as he could “Nothing, just worn out. Your sister has been running me ragged all day.”

“Ah bet. Oh, here it is.” She trotted over to a flip-top box against the wall and opened it. Raj could see a series of lightly colored rods and a thin puff of dust drift off of it. Sidewalk chalk. “Cool, now we can finish the drawing in Sweetie's garage.” she tucked the things in her saddlebag and trotted away.

Raj watched her go with sweaty palms. It made terrible sense, Applebloom being there. Mac wouldn't have wanted to scare her by telling her not to come home or, even worse, engaged her curiosity with a vague story. She'd have to come home for a few things, it only made sense. It was a stupid oversight on everyone's part.

He had to assume the dogs knew she was here, and if they went after her once, they were likely to do it again. If only to satisfy Ace's bloodthirst.

He jogged up next to her as she made her way to the house. “Hey, um, so who's this Twist girl, she a Crusader like the other two of you?” He asked, trying to seem as nonchalant as possibl

His attempt failed utterly. She looked up at him with a curious face and asked “You okay Rajrishi?”

“Yeah, 'm fine.” He muttered while scanning the yard.

She flipped around and walked backwards so she could face him. “You sure? 'Cause you kinda look like you need to poop really bad.”

Raj blinked “What?”

“Yer all clenched up and stuff, like yer about to mess yerself. It's how Big Mac looks when he's been in the yard too-” She cut herself off and looked down “Oh, cool! The ground's shaking!” She wobbled her knees in an exaggerated motion.

Raj's eyes widened, knowing full well what that meant. He lunged forward and grabbed the little pony around the barrel. She let out a startled squeak as he lifted her into the air.

The second he did so the ground where Applebloom had been standing crumbled away and a pair of filthy, grasping arms waved in the air. The dog in the ground let out a howl of frustration its claws failed to find its quarry.

The creatures shook the dirt and grit from its face just in time to see the tread of a boot descend down onto its face. The Diamond Dog let out a pained yelp and its arms flung up. When Raj lifted his leg up there was a neat tread pattern pounded into its muzzle.

Raj was already running back to the barn. He twisted his head around and shouted with his soldier voice “APPLEJACK!” That got an immediate response and he heard a muted cry of alarm come from the house.

Several more patches of dirt collapsed in his path and he was forced to dance around them while Applebloom squirmed in his grasp. She looked up at him with fearful eyes “What's goin' on?”

“Barn.” he answered as calmly as he could.

They reached the structure in short order. By then most of the beasts had freed themselves from the ground and started after the two of them. As soon as Raj was past the threshold of the structure he dropped the filly to the ground and slammed the doors shut, swinging the crossbar down with a heavy thud.

Applebloom flicked her head back and forth in confusion “Rajrishi, why're Diamond Dogs on the farm?”

Raj stepped away from the door and a great weight slammed against it. Splintery cracks sounded from the crossbar. He grimaced and answered “For very bad reasons. C'mere.”

She stepped over to him “Are they after us or something?”

“Yeah, they are. Here, up.” He grabbed under her torso and lifted her up the ladder into the loft. “Stay up there, hide somewhere, you'll be fine.”

She turned around and peered down at him “What about you?”

“I'll be fine too. Now hush.” He turned around, scanning the barn.

Another heavy slam rocked the barndoor, bursting jags of broken wood from the crossbar. He looked at that sourly and moved over to the discarded claw-hammer from earlier. He reached for it, thought back to the dog that tried to drag Applebloom into the earth, and decided to take the heavy sledgehammer hanging on the wall instead. He gave it an experimental flip and nodded to himself.

The next hit against the door burst the crossbar and the whole entrance burst open. Close to a dozen massive dogs, each almost as large as Macintosh, spilled into the room and locked eyes on Raj. They didn't offer any negotiation, no chance at parlay, they just let out hunting howls and loped for him.

Raj bellowed wordlessly and leaped forward, bringing the hammer around in a downward arc. Most of the dogs bounded out of the way, but one was too slow and caught the hammer where his neck met his shoulder. There was an unhealthy sounding crunch and the creature simply crumpled to the ground.

If the rest of the dogs were disconcerted by one of them going down so quickly, they did not show it. A pair of the large beasts bounced off their strong hinds and grabbed at him with their lanky arms. He twisted the haft of the hammer in the way of one, but the other managed to slip past his guard and locked his jaws on Raj's leg. It set its feet and started to pull, hauling its head back and forth as it did so.

Raj swore and jabbed down with the butt of his hammer. The hit glanced off the dog's muzzle, not landing square, but it was enough to encourage the dog to let go and bound back. Raj did some warding motions with his hammer, intent on keeping the dogs back. He experimentally put weight on his leg, trying to see how hurt he was. It hurt fiercely and he could feel the hot slickness of blood running down his ankle but the limb bore his weight fine.

The dogs sidled away, circling on him and padding on all fours. They growled threats or mindlessly snarled at him. He glared impassively back, not letting any fear show on his face. He gave the hammer an idle spin and said “Leave now while you still can.”

A light tan dog chuckled and rasped “We will chew your bones not-pony.”

“You can try.”

A pair rushed at his exposed back while another made a play for his front. Raj didn't fall for the distraction and whipped around in time to see the beasts cutting in at his legs. He danced back and lashed out with the hammer, audibly breaking the dog's jaw and sending it on a tumble across the dirt floor. The second one faded back, now wary of the hammer.

The tan one sprang upwards and latched onto the wall with his stubby claws. He watched Raj for a moment and pounced at his exposed back, grabbing at his head and neck and biting at the back of his shoulder. Raj cursed and started stumbling blindly through the barn, waving the hammer to ward away the rest of the dogs. The creatures yipped and hopped in circles around him.

He dug his fingers into the thick forearm of the dog on his back and pried it off in time to see two of the bulky dogs coming at his opposite sides. Screaming with effort, he leaped straight up.

There was more than ten feet of clearance from the floor to the loft. Raj managed it easily. He crushed the dog on his back with enough force to bow the floorboards of the loft upwards. Applebloom let out a shriek of terror when she saw a section of the floor buck upwards.

The pair of dogs that flanked him, their target suddenly gone, skidded their paws on the floor in an effort to stop and ran into each other, their lanky arms tangling together. They spent a second dazed before Raj landed on them feet-first, forcing them to ground and drawing howls of pain from the creatures. Snarling, he drove the head of his hammer down twice, striking each of the dog's heads hard enough to silence them. He shrugged the limp Diamond Dog off of his back. It hit the ground with a pained whimper and it clutched at its broken ribs.

He looked around, assessing his situation. To his surprise, the circle of dogs that had been bouncing around him had dissolved. Instead the lot of them were clustered on the far side of the barn near the base of the ladder up to the loft. Two of them were scrambling up it, their oddly shaped limbs not quite up to the task of climbing like that, but the one on top almost close enough to grab the lip of the upper level.

Raj swore and flipped the grip on his hammer. He took an instant to line it up and threw the thing like a javelin.

His aim was true and the heavy projectile sailed through the gaps in the ladder and caught the climbing dog squarely in the gut. It let out a strangled cry of pain and flew back, impacting the back wall hard enough to shake loose some of the tools hanging from it.

The dog that was lower on the ladder was not disconcerted by its packmate sailing across the room and rushed to get up and reach its quarry. It barked at the remaining dogs to cover it. They did so, creating a wall of growling meat that blocked Raj's avenue of attack. Undeterred, Raj broke into an aggressive sprint and dove, sailing over the guarding dogs and crashed into the ladder hard enough to blow right through it.

He wrapped his arms around the climbing dog and the thing skidded along the ground on its back, abrading off a healthy amount of fur and skin in the process. The prone dog let out a growl of pain that switched into a howling croon of agony when Raj clapped the creature over the ears, deafening it.

The warding dogs did an about face and came at him. The lead one pounced up high, claws and fangs bared. Raj met him with a blind mule kick that was badly aimed. It struck, but only caught the edge of the thing's hip. Instead of being sent flying, it only went into a spin and bounced away in the dirt.

The other two hit him full force and bore their full weight on him. Raj felt a few claws scrape at him, nothing serious but enough to draw blood. He rolled off the deaf, howling dog and grabbed, wrapping his black hands around the dog's throats. They let out breathless cries, but kept flailing at him.

The dog he kicked recovered and tried to pounce again, apparently having learned nothing. Raj spread the dogs in his hands and lifted a leg. He caught the flying beast in the chest with his boot and launched it. The creature sailed and struck the back of its head on the edge of the barn loft. It let out a squeak and hit the ground unmoving.

Raj's pride at the feat he managed evaporated instantly when he saw the last of the dogs picking his way up the ruined ladder. Each rung threatened to break under his weight, but it was most of the way up. Raj glanced around in a panic, searching for options. The dogs in his hands were slowing from lack of air, but were nowhere near done. If he let the dogs go, they would pounce back on him immediately. There was nothing around to throw and he couldn't move. He was trapped.

He was considering hurling of the dogs in his hands when he heard a high-pitched cry and a pair of little yellow hooves smacked the dog on the ladder squarely in the eyes. The beast let out a bark of annoyance and the hooves struck him again, this time against one of his paws on the ladder. The thing's grip fumbled and it tumbled back, hitting the dirt with a hard thud.

Applebloom stood on the edge and looked down proudly. “And stay down ya varmint!”

Raj let out a short laugh and cracked the dogs he was strangling together, knocking their bodies limp and their eyes spinning. He got up and looked at the remaining one as it was recovering.

The thing growled and then looked around, seeing its packmates in various states of beaten violently. Most of them were on the ground, mewling in pain. The rest were unconscious except for the one stumbling around in a deaf haze, trickles of blood leaking out of his ears.

Its eyes settled on Raj and it fearfully whimpered “Uh, I sorry?”

Raj flicked his eyes up to Applebloom who stared at him intently. He tonelessly said “You may take one of your friends and go. Now.”

The dog did not take any time to question the order, ran over to the tan one with broken ribs and started dragging it out of the barn. Raj watched him go until he lost sight of him in the orchard.

A scream came from outside the barn and Applejack came galloping in, brandishing a splintered length of wood in her mouth. Her mane was disheveled and her hat was gone. She scanned the barn and asked “What in the hay happened in here?”

“Dogs. We're okay. Applebloom, c'mon.” The little pony hopped down onto his shoulder and then to the ground where she promptly darted over to Applejack's leg and wrapped all her limbs around it.

Applejack cooed “It's okay little Apple, it's okay.” she dropped the wood and stroked the filly's mane. She looked to Raj “What now?”

Raj shrugged “Don't know. Go back inside?”

Before she could answer they both heard a high, sharp howl sound from the house. At once, the dogs on the ground all stirred. Those who were able to started to dig down, those who weren't limped over to the holes made by those who could. Even the deaf one started burrowing when he saw his companions doing so.

The three of them tightened together defensively, not sure what to make of the sudden development. It was hardly necessary though, within thirty seconds all the beasts were gone.

Applejack started to say something but her eyes went wide before a word left her lips. She darted a look up to Raj and said “Granny.” before breaking into a sprint towards the house, Applebloom still latched onto her leg.

Raj chased after her, reaching the door to the house just a few seconds after Applejack. He found her in the disarrayed kitchen, frozen still and staring at the floor in front of the sink. Raj followed her gaze and sucked in a breath.

There was a slick of purple blood. Pony blood.

Applejack pried her sister off and went galloping through the house, shouting her grandmother's name. Doors slammed open and cupboards were thrown off their hinges. Applebloom, lacking any idea of what to do, sat on the floor and cried.

Raj ran a hand down his face and lowered himself into a chair, staring at nothing. His hands clenched and unclenched involuntarily.

He heard hooves gallop along the porch and come inside. Big Macintosh slid to a halt, a smaller light-brown pony standing breathlessly beside him. They both scanned the kitchen and Big Mac asked “What's going on?”

There was no answer for a few seconds before a wail echoed from the cellar followed by staccato sobs.

Raj whispered to him “Granny. They got Granny Smith.”

Grey Hours

Raj's thirtieth circuit of the house was just as uneventful as the previous twenty-nine.

He stopped at the point two fenceposts met and scanned the yard. The churned ground from the now-abandoned tunnels was still noticeable and likely would be for many days. He hunted for shadows in between the trees or poking out of the barn or sheds. Once again he saw nothing. The dogs had fully retreated, they'd gotten what they were after.

One of the Apples was gone. Granny Smith was gone.

The collapsed tunnel was obvious against the packed dirt floor of the basement, as well as the recent smears of pony blood around the edges of it. It'd taken them many agonizing minutes to keep Applejack from ripping at the dirt to chase after her and get out of the cellar. By the time they did the mare was caked in dirt all the way to her haunches.

His patrol took him past the south side of the house, the side with the broken window. He could clearly hear the sounds of mourning from the Apples inside. Applebloom stood out the most with high, chirping sobs. He could also hear Applejack's low keening and every now and then the basso rumble of Big Macintosh trying to comfort his sisters through his own anguish. Every time Raj passed that window he quickened his steps.

Hearing them again brought a swell of bile in his gut. When Applejack had tearfully embraced her crying sister, his first instinct was to march off to the Flats and do something unwise. Thankfully he was able to fight that off and decided to do a circuit of the nearby property for any lingering dogs. He was an honorary Apple, but he knew that what was happening in the house was private and not for him.

Truthfully, a vile part of him hoped to find a straggler or a scout that he could vent his frustrations on. Maybe one of the big ones from the barn that went after Applebloom. He thought back to the one he let go and his face soured. He imagined what he would do if he could do it over and swiftly decided it was a good thing that he couldn't.

A nagging sense of fault tugged at him. Rationally, he knew that he was to blame for nothing. This was something the Apples were into before he'd come to Equestria and the situation seemed destined to go bad from the start. If it were not for his intervention, the Apples would be in the same situation, except with their youngest. He'd helped them at every opportunity, and yet...

Rationality did not make what happened to Granny Smith any easier to swallow.

He finished his thirtieth patrol and started his thirty-first.

The sun was still high, leaving many hours of daylight left. He wondered what would happen in the night. If the dogs would be emboldened and try again or if they would hang back and lick their wounds. He tightened his grip on his staff hard enough his knuckles popped. He hoped it was the former, but also looked forward to the latter.

Caramel, the lighter brown pony Macintosh had come home with, said that he was the first of many Apples that planned to respond to the call for aid. By the next day, hundreds of their kin would be on the property. Once they found out what happened to Granny Smith, the thought of what they would do 'gave him the willies' as he put it.

The possibility of vengeance did little the assuage the mourning siblings, but Raj noticed the stern look that came to Macintosh's face when he heard the news. It was a feeling Raj reciprocated.

Raj thought about what the dogs were up to at that exact moment. He hoped they were celebrating in their holes, screaming their victory to all who would listen. He hoped they danced without care and howled at the sky. For a moment he wanted nothing more than to be the one to tear it all down.

He was halfway through his latest circuit when he was shaken out of his wrathful reverie. He glanced around, the hair on his neck standing up. Something was off.

He spotted it almost immediately. A curl of dirty paper stuck against the post holding up the porch. He had circled the house close to three dozen times by then and he was sure he hadn't missed it, this was new.

Scanning the page, he saw crude runes drawn on it in what looked like coal. He tilted his head and squinted at them, trying to divine their meaning but came up with nothing.

The yard was clear of dogs and so was the nearby field. He intently searched the treeline for anything and scanned the ground for patches of freshly churned dirt. There was nothing aside from the note.

He slowly stepped into the house and deliberately closed the door. He leaned against the frame and let out a shuddering breath.

“Something wrong?”

Raj looked up to see Caramel standing at the stove, a pot of tea steaming in front of him. He grabbed it in his mouth and moved it to a little tray. He asked “You okay? You look kinda shaken.”

“I'm fine, thank you. How are things in here?”

He went silent and looked to the closed door leading to the living room. Even through the heavy wood they could both hear the sobbing ponies. Caramel shrugged “Same as before, I guess.”

“Yeah.”

They stood in awkward silence for a minute before Raj cleared his throat and asked “Hey, did you hear anything, like, outside?”

“Like what?”

“I don't know, anything. Anything moving around, maybe out on the porch?”

Caramel shrugged again “Nope, haven't heard a thing.”

“Okay, that's fine.” He wiped a hand down his face. “Someone left this on the porch. Looks like a note.”

“What's it say?”

“Don't know. Can't read it.”

Caramel shot him an appraising look “You can't read?”

“I can read, I just can't read this thing.” he replied, a hitch of annoyance in his voice.

“Oh, okay.” He held out a hoof “Give it here.”

Raj handed it over. Caramel scanned the page up and down, then flipped it. He gave it another once over and sucked in a breath.

“What?”

Caramel didn't reply. Instead he scrambled around the table and burst through the door to the living room, speaking too fast to be sensible.

Raj followed after him and went stock still when he heard Caramel shouting “She's alive ya'll, Granny's alive!”

* * *

“Four barrels of aged cider, five grown pigs, ten dozen eggs, eight chickens, fifteen jars 'o apple jam, ten bushels of red delicious, thirty loaves of bread(wheat), nine jars preserves, seven bushels Anna apples, six jars o' cinnamon, twelve bags of salt, two barrels of fish, twenty sacks of flour, five pounds o' pepper, fifty butter sticks, eight cans o' milk, a cheese-wheel, and all the 'shine we got.” Macintosh cleared his throat and looked up from the note “That's what they want to give Granny back.”

Applejack snorted “Is that all?”

“Ee-nope. They want us all to bring it, everypony on the farm. And they want it today.”

“Course they do.” she shook her head and chuckled, “Dammit.” Her face curled up into a snarl and she slammed a hoof down on the table “Dammit!”

“I should have figured this out earlier. It's why they left after they took Granny. They weren't after us, they were after a hostage, just like...” Raj trailed off when he glanced at Applebloom “That other time.”

“Ah know, ah should have too dammit, and instead ah wasted mosta the day crying mah eyes out.” She hocked a plug of spit in the corner “Stupid, plain stupid.” Her spiteful look melted into a fluttery smile “But, still this is... this...” She let out a shuddering breath “Are ya sure it's her writing?”

Big Mac nodded “Same as the letters she had me run into town, exact same.”

Applebloom looked up at her big brother, streaks of stickiness still visible in the fur near her eyes. “Does this mean Granny's okay? Is she gonna come home?”

The red pony rubbed the filly's mane and said “Ee-yup.”

“Ah'll get out to the barn and get things going. Caramel, you and Bloom start gathering stuff up from the basement. If'n we hurry we can probably get going in a hour or so.” She smiled deliriously at her family. “Everything's gonna be fine ya'll, you wait 'n see.”

She grabbed the door handle with a hoof and jumped when it was yanked out of her grasp by Raj slamming it.

Applejack started “What in tarnation-”

Raj leaned closed and whispered “We need to talk.”

She looked up at him and set her face. She turned back to her family and cocked her head “Ya'll get going. Ah'm right behind ya.” They all nodded and darted from the room, eager to get their Grandmother back.

Once they were alone in the room Raj knelt down and asked “What are you doing?”

“Ah should ask you the same thing, getting' in mah way like that.”

“Tell me you don't believe this, please.”

“What? That mah Granny's still alive? Ah have to!” she declared with a stomp of her hoof “Ah have to.”

“Not that, that part is probably true. I mean the part where Ace is going to give her back.” he thought for a second “And the implied part where he lets us all leave.”

“What are you talking about? Course they're gonna let her go. They's after stuff Rajrishi, that's the thing ah forgot. Diamond Dogs are greedy sumbitches, they always want things before anything else. That's why they took Granny, to get more from us.”

Raj blinked “Applejack, Ace flipped a cart loaded with supplies earlier today. He doesn't care as much about stuff as you think. I mean, if everything goes well today, if everything on that note is totally true, what are the odds you and your family is going to keep doing business with the Diamond Dogs?”

“None.” She replied flatly. “No way.”

“Right, and what's the chance you and your family will seek some retribution?”

She gave him a tired look “You going somewhere with this? 'Cause ah got work to do.”

Raj held up a hand “Humor me. Are you going to go after Ace and his dogs?”

“You know we are.”

“Yeah, I do. What makes you think Ace doesn't?”

Applejack was quiet for a moment and glanced around “Ah don't... what do you mean?”

“Ace isn't stupid, he has to know that his business with you is done. This exchange is his last attempt at getting something out of you and crossing you off at the same time.”

She raised an eyebrow at him “Cross us off?”

“Kill you, he's going to kill you.” Raj answered bluntly.

“Ponyfeathers. If'n that was his plan, him and alla' his dogs would've stormed the house.”

Raj shook his head “Terrain him and his boys don't know, elevation to deal with and plentiful tools and weapons to defend ourselves with. Even if he did go through with it, he'd lose too much for it to be worth it and there's a good chance at least some of us would get away. Out in the Flats, we're too far away to get help and he'll control the situation. Why else would he need everyone to go with? If he wasn't looking for a fight, he'd only want one of two, and definitely not me.” He pointed at himself “He's looking to set a trap with Granny and catch all of us. I'm sure of it.”

Applejack turned away and walked a few steps. Her legs quivered a bit and she said “Yer wrong, yer just... yer wrong.”

“Applejack, think. Imagine that this was happening to someone else, Fluttershy or something. Would you tell her to just walk in? Just like that?”

She raised her head and was silent for a few heartbeats before she sighed. “No, ah wouldn't.” She spun around “But this is-”

“No different.” Raj interrupted. “No different at all.”

They stood staring at each other for a bit, Applejack with a pleading look on her face and Raj returning nothing but stoic resolve. She sniffed and lowered herself to the floor, crying gently.

Raj stepped over and knelt down, putting a hand on her shoulder “Look, Applejack, I get it okay. I do. You get this crazy tunnel-vision when it comes to your family. When one of them is in danger or something you can't focus on anything except that and you refuse to let anyone else help. You think that asking for help, or even needing it at all, makes you wrong somehow, lesser. It's what made you stay with this shabby deal for so long, going along with it while things kept getting worse and worse. It's what's making you think going through with Ace's offer will work out.” He placed a hand on his chest “I'm the same way, and you've seen how that turned out.”

She looked up at him “Whaddya mean?”

Raj took a deep breath to steady himself “You remember that night I came home covered in mud, the night we fought?” She nodded and Raj continued “Well, I shouldn't have gone out that day, or the day before that. I shouldn't have been going out at all in fact. I had pneumonia, a broken arm, cracked ribs, a shredded back, and who knows what else. I had no business walking, much less stomping through the woods like I was. It's the dumbest thing I've ever done.” Raj hesitated “I should be dead from it. It's almost a crime that I'm not.”

Applejack snapped “Don't you talk like that Rajrishi, not now.”

“See these?” He lifted up his shirt and gestured to the faded welts on his side “Brander Ant stings, hurt like nothing else I've ever felt, but they probably saved my life.”

Applejack furrowed her brow and cocked her head. He answered her question without prompting “I was running on empty there Applejack, lying on the forest floor, just fading away. Those ant stings shocked my system, gave me the burst of adrenaline to get up and move. As I was coming back, whenever I felt myself fading I had to squeeze them. It was like sticking my hand in a pot of boiling acid, every time. That crawl back from the Everfree was, without a doubt, the worst thing that I have ever experienced.”

Applejack stared at him in shock “Wow, uh, ah'm sorry Rajrishi. Ah didn't know it was so rough. If'n ah knew, ah woulda been a little gentler with ya.”

Raj shrugged “I'm fine now, no harm done. Anyway, my point is that I did all that because I had the same deathly focus you have right now, I thought that pushing myself that hard was the only way I could possibly get home. The only difference here is that you're liable to get a lot more than just yourself killed if you're wrong.”

Applejack looked down at the ground and sniffed, considering his words. She thought about everything that had happened over the last few days, and then the months leading up to it. She thought about everything Ace had done and the lengths she had gone to to keep it quiet from everyone. She imagined another pony doing what she did, and realized what she would think of them for doing it. Her face soured and she re-set her hat. “Alright Rajrishi, what should we do?”

“Something you'd never think to do Applejack, we're going to lie.”

Author's Note

Next one's gonna take a while folks, look for it around mid-July at the earliest.

Black Dog

There was no fanfare for their appearance this time, instead all the dogs were waiting for them.

The wagon creaked through a valley of the beasts. Some leered or growled, some of the more courageous ones barking aggression at them. Caramel shied away from their attentions as best as the yoke he was attached to would allow. The others sneered contempt at the display.

The attentive dogs noticed the bindings on Raj's wrists and ankles. Most were confused by them, but a few gave knowing chuckles, already figuring out what such a thing meant.

Raj flexed at the ropes tying his hands. Applejack saw it and gave him a poke in the back with the head of her Grandfather's ax. Raj jumped and shot a harsh glare at her. The orange pony tightened her jaw around the haft and tilted her head forward. With a grumbled curse, he resumed trudging.

At the end of the gauntlet of dogs sat Ace on a stack of stones near the mouth of a yawning cave. The massive creature did not look pleased. A visible gap was left in his perpetual sneer from the tooth Raj had knocked out, but somehow the change only made the beast even more menacing.

Once they got near enough, the Diamond Dog Alpha wasted no time. He said “You bring things?”

Applejack answered him “Yeah, we got everything ya asked for. 'N then some.”

He scowled “Explain Applehat.”

Applejack started to stammer, spewing a word-salad without meaning before her brother stepped in front and answered back “We're offerin' up thissun.” He nudged Raj's leg “As a trade fer Granny, 'longside everything in this here wagon.”

Ace cocked his head in confusion “Why you give up not-pony? He fight with you, he one of you.”

“No he ain't!” Cried Applebloom from the back of the wagon. “He got Granny taken away, he's caused nothing but trouble since he got here. At least we can get our real family back for him.”

Ace grinned wide and raised a paw. “Enough pony-pup. Not-pony, is this true? Are you a trade for old-pony?” he asked, leaning forward in eagerness.

Raj threw an acidic glance across the Apples near him and slumped his shoulders. Looking at the ground, he replied “Yeah, yeah I am.”

Ace let out a harsh bark that might have been laughter. “Good, good, I like ponies. I like very much.” He slapped the rock he sat on. “Send it over.”

Macintosh beckoned for him but Applejack interjected “Wait a second. We ain't sending nothing over to your side without getting Granny out here first.”

Ace's smile cracked a bit and his eyes lost their mirth. He raised a paw and let out a short, pitched howl. A second later a pair of dogs emerged from the cave escorting a hobbling figure.

Granny Smith was not in good shape. She moved with a distinct limp, even more than her ancient frame normally gave her. Bruises deep enough to stain her coat a near-black spotted her body, and her normally crisply tied bun had come undone, leaving her mane in disheveled coils. A weeping cut hung under her eye and a line of dried purple drew from the corners of her mouth. Her face was lopsided, one part hanging lower than the other. It took Raj a second to figure out the old mare's jaw was broken.

A ripple of tension went through the Apples when their grandmother hobbled out of the hole. Applebloom quietly whispered her grandmother's name and vainly tried to hold back tears and was joined a moment later by her cousin Caramel. Big Macintosh snarled and worried his hooves at the ground, actively shaking with rage. His mouth moved for the handle of the ax in his sling but he barely managed to keep himself from drawing it.

Applejack just went still as a statue, her breath hitching up in her throat.

Ace waited for her to come closer before holding up a paw. One of the dogs at his side went over to Granny Smith and forced her to sit. The old mare struggled a bit but the fight had long since been beaten out of her. The burly dog grabbed her by the neck and held it, his claws pressing into the soft flesh of her throat. All it would take to end the old mare's life was a clench of the dog's paw.

Ace barked “You see? Old pony is fine, now send him over.”

Applejack nudged Raj lightly in the back. He stayed put and a second later received another, harder push. When he didn't move again Applejack reared up and sank a hoof into his lower back. Raj stumbled forward and took a knee. He shot a hateful look over his shoulder at the orange pony.

Applejack said nothing, she simply jerked his head forward and rotated the ax in her mouth.

Raj grimaced and rose up, stepping toward the Alpha Dog slowly. Ace grinned wide and let out a breathy chuckle “Is good ponies. Is very good thing you do.”

Applejack slurred through the handle in his mouth “Uh, great. Glad you, um, approve. Now give Granny back.”

“In a minute Applehat.” Ace knuckle-walked over the Raj. He stopped a few paces away from him and gave him a curious look. He grinned and said “Kneel not-pony.”

Raj made not motion to do so until another Diamond Dog darted in and punched him in the back of the leg. He crashed down to one knee and fell over, unable to catch himself with his bound hands. A pair of burly dogs swept in and roughly grabbed him, locking his arms at his sides. Raj struggled a bit in vain and swore under his breath.

Ace laughed and walked close. He grabbed Raj by the head-wrap and lifted him up to meet his gaze. He rumbled, fetid rot thick on his breath “Your suffering will be legendary not-pony.”

“Oh my god.” Raj blanched and pulled away “You somehow smell worse than you look.”

Ace growled something unintelligible and gave him a cuff across the cheek. Raj let out a bark of pain and sprawled on the ground unmoving.

Ace huffed and spat on him. The rest of the assembled dogs laughed at their leader's display of violence and voiced their approval. The two dogs holding Raj dragged him toward the cave, forcing him semi-upright.

The big alpha turned his attention back the gathered Apples. “Good ponies, good thing for Ace you do. Bad for ponies though.”

Applejack cocked her head “What?”

“Giving up fighter, letting go of strong thing to get old, sick pony. Not make sense, but deal is deal." Ace sneered and gave a low chuckle "Un-hitch brown-pony, and you get old pony back.”

Applejack lingered on Raj's limp form and replied “Uh, yeah, sure. Just give us a second.” She turned back to her cousin and gave him a nod.

Caramel frittered anxiously and stammered back “Uh, A-applejack, aren't we supposed to, uh...”

“Jess get out of the harness Caramel, everything'll be fine.”

He was nervous and scared, but listened all the same. As he slid out of the harness, Raj's eyes cracked open and he scanned around.

A few dozen dogs were lounging around, waiting for the order to pounce on the Apples. Ace's back was to him and even the dogs directly attending him weren't paying close attention. He turned while making it look like his head was lolling mindlessly. It took him a bit of trying but he eventually saw Granny Smith. She was still being held with claws at her neck. He guessed that he could close the distance between them in three strides. It wasn't going to get any better than that, he figured.

With a smooth motion, he snapped the rope binding his hands and brought his arms up, popping his captors in the chin with his elbows. They let out sharp whimpers of pain and staggered back.

Raj was up in a flash, the rope binding his legs disintegrating as he ran. The dog holding Granny heard the cries of its packmates and didn't even look. Raj saw the tension travel down the thing's arm as it started to clench its claw into the old mare's neck.

It was by a margin of less than a second he reached the beast. His black fist struck it in the back of head with enough force he felt bone crack. The Diamond Dog felt a momentary wave of numbness spread from the impact and it went limp without a sound. It collapsed onto Granny who made a wheezing cry under its weight and rolled to the side, flopping to the dirt next to the creature.

Raj moved to stand over her, scanning around. The initial surprise was wearing off and the dogs at the periphery of the meet were starting to move. Most were focused on the wagon and the ponies around it, but a few turned their beady eyes on him.

“Rajrishi!” shouted Applejack and his gaze snapped to her “Catch!” She dug her head into the wagon and came up with something in her mouth. She looped her neck around and hurled it his way.

The throw was good and Raj was able to easily grab his airborne ironoak staff. He settled it into his hands and swept it around, warding away the nearby dogs in an effort to keep Granny Smith safe.

The Apple family did not stand idle. Macintosh pulled his Grandfather's ax from its sling and bellowed wordlessly. He stepped forward and slashed at the nearest dog, tearing a messy wound along its flank. The creature yowled and ran as fast as it was able, tail tucked down and leaking urine in terror.

“Caramel, watch out!” squeaked Applebloom from her perch in the wagon. He whipped his head around to see a big gray beast barreling towards him. The brown pony shrieked in terror and scrabbled back, standing upright with his back against the wall of the wagon. Caramel grimaced and covered his eyes with a faint whimper.

A pair of red apples flew over Caramel's head, one of them striking the big Diamond Dog in the face and covering him in splatter. The charging beast stumbled and ducked his head, striking the yoke of the wagon with the crown of his skull hard enough to roll the entire wagon back and knock the beast out cold. His backrest now gone, Caramel staggered for a second and flopped onto his back.

Applebloom spared her cousin a disappointed look before getting back to hurling apples at the charging dogs, blinding them with spattered pulp.

Applejack swept her ax wide, warding away the dogs that pressed on her front. She hunkered down, keeping her center low and her legs coiled. “C'mon you varmints, come get some!” One of the dogs did just that and promptly had his bell rung when the flat of an ax struck him in the side of the head. The dog stumbled drunkenly for a moment before he was launched into his packmates by a savage buck to his rear.

She shouted around her weapon “Get Granny over here!”

“In a minute.” He yelled back as he jabbed his staff into a dog's gut. The thing skittered away and circled around, looking for another avenue of attack. Rajrishi wanted to go after it, but he had to keep his vanguard over the slowly recovering Granny Smith. He kept his movements close and controlled, but an edge of dread hovered over him. As soon as the fight had started, Ace had disappeared and he'd not shown himself again. He didn't want to take any risks while the black dog was unaccounted for.

“We don't got a minute!” Applejack leaped forward and hacked at a dog that was grasping after Applebloom who shrieked and kicked at his reaching paw.

Off the side of the wagon, Macintosh leaped and bucked to shake the dog that had latched onto his back. Another dog tried to get close and hold one of the big pony's legs, but caught a hoof to the chin instead. Caramel cowered beneath the wagon, too scared to do anything.

Raj took all this in with a sidelong glance. Spitting a curse, he tucked his staff under an arm and grabbed the fallen mare at his feet with both hands. She let out a cry of agony as he was forced to twist her battered body but ignored it as best he could. He made a beeline for the wagon with dogs hot on his heels. He shouted out, warning Applejack and her siblings.

She saw him coming and bucked a hole in the line of dogs between them. Raj skipped over the fallen creatures, something that drew a fresh croon of agony from Granny Smith, and lowered her into the wagon. Applebloom immediately set on her with a hug and a coiled blanket, murmuring comforts to her. Back the way Raj came, the line of dogs were closing fast.

His face set in a harsh glare, he reached deeper into the wagon and grabbed at a large crate, his fingers sinking into the wood. “Applejack, duck.”

The orange mare obliged without a word and dropped to her fetlocks. The nearby Diamond Dogs bounded in at her, intent on taking advantage of the momentary weakness.

A crunch of wood sounded from the wagon followed by a cry that was momentarily the loudest thing in the whole of the Flats. With a spinning loop, Raj lifted the heavy crate from the wagon and hurled it at the line of Diamond Dogs that followed after him. It passed over Applejack's head by scant inches and crashed into the dogs, scattering them like a flock of crows before bouncing along the hard ground and bursting into an explosion of fruit against a rock some fifty yards distant.

Applejack gaped at the display of strength for a moment before Raj's shadow passed over her. Screaming madly, he waded into the scattered remnants of the pack. He struck with howling, wild swings that sent multiple dogs flying with every blow. Every Diamond Dog that was mobile scrambled to get away, crawling over each other when needed to escape his wrath. When he earned a moment's respite, he shot a glance at the orange pony and yelled “Help your brother.”

She scrambled to do just that and clocked the dog that had been hounding her brother. The dog's grip loosened and he went flying on Big Mac's next buck. He mumbled a quick thanks and turned back to the fight, sending a larger dog flying with a flat side wallop from his ax.

“Caramel, harness, now!” She shouted at her cousin. Caramel jumped from his hiding place and practically dove into the yoke of the wagon. He strained the thing forward, gathering momentum and turning the vehicle. Slowly he did an about-face and started heading for home, the junior and senior Apple in tow.

All of them heard a howl of incoherent rage rumble from beneath them. The ground under the back of the wagon exploded upward and the form of a massive black dog slammed into the underside. The whole back-half of the wagon heaved upwards and Applebloom shrieked as she held onto her bleary Grandmother. Boxes and jars leaped up and crashed against the wall of the wagon or bounced out and shattered on the stones below. Caramel scrambled to avoid being crushed underneath it.

The vehicle hit the ground with an almighty crash, the shocks audibly splintering. Ace loomed over it at his full height, bloody froth leaking from the hole in his face and nothing but mad fury in his black eyes. He slammed his thick forearms down on the back-wall of the wagon, fully shattering it and shouted “NOPONY LEAVES! EVERYPONY DIES!” His legs twitched and he went airborne, descending on the paralyzed form of Applebloom clutching her unconscious Grandmother.

Applejack sprang off a rock and hit the black dog in midair, fouling his aim and sent the both of them into a wild roll along the stones. She hit the ground hard and the side of her face slid along the rough surface, held down by one of Ace's scabrous paws. He snarled in rage and rained a series of quick, harsh punches against her ribs.

Applejack squirmed in his grip, hooves flailing at him, but she had no leverage. She yowled in pain and twisted her face and neck. She managed to snag the end of one of his claws in her mouth and she bit down hard. A coppery taste completely unfamiliar to her tastebuds flooded her mouth. Ace's laughter turned to a trill of agony and he pulled back, stepping off of the prone pony. As she rose up he threw an off-hand swipe at her, catching the side of her face with a claw and left three small cuts under her ear. Applejack went sprawling and took a roll in the dirt.

“ACE!” shouted Big Macintosh at the big dog abusing his sister. He stomped his hooves hard enough to crack the stone and snorted out twin blasts of steam. The big pony took off like a rocket at the Alpha Dog.

To his credit, Ace did not balk at the challenge. He howled back and charged at him, loping along the ground and frothing at the mouth.

As they neared, Ace swung a paw low and scraped it along the ground. He brought a fistful of grit up and hurled it into the charging pony's face. Suddenly blind, Big Mac put on the brakes, hooves scraping along the stone. Robbed of his momentum and his senses, he couldn't keep Ace's fist from sinking into his ribs with a meaty sound of impact.

The air blown from his lungs, Macintosh went into a roll but managed to come up on his hooves. He brandished his ax and snorted, desperately trying to catch his breath.

Raj tried to come up on his behind quietly, hoping to get a solid hit in. He swung his staff at head height. Ace heard it coming and ducked into a spin, swinging the heavy club of his tail at Raj's shin. He took the hit with a wince of pain but kept swinging, trying to keep the dog off-balance. Macintosh found his wind quickly and came at the dog again with fierce ax-swings. Ace either took the blows on his stone-hard forearms or dodged them all together, moving far quicker than anything his size had any right to.

And then the pair of them got lucky. Ace swept his claws at Raj's crotch-height, forcing him to step back. His tail swung in a moment later and Raj saw his chance. Quickly he stomped down at it, catching the narrow stem of it under his boot. Ace yelped and jerked to a halt, pinned.

Macintosh saw his chance and swung for the black dog's head. Ace tucked his chin and caught it on his scalp instead of his muzzle, losing an ear instead of his life. He howled and lashed out, knocking Macintosh's legs out from under him. It gave Ace the chance the finish off the big pony, but it also gave Raj an opening.

Channeling every golf lesson he'd ever had, he brought his staff up over his shoulder and swung it down in a perfect circle arc. He hit broadside along Ace's torso and followed through with it, lifting the dog up and sending him on a low, howling arc back to his cave. He hit the ground some twenty yards away and bounced another fifteen.

Raj watched him go, trying not to pay attention to the part of his tail that had de-gloved under his foot.

The Diamond Dogs on the surface watched their leader ragdoll across the ground and immediately backed off, looking around uncertainly. Some looked after the distant image of the fleeing wagon and thought about going after it, but were unsure.

Raj took the chance and went to Applejack. He helped her to her hooves and said “Applejack?”

Applejack shook her head and retrieved her ax. She flicked her eyes to the retreating dust cloud. She rasped “They get out okay?”

“Yeah, shook up but fine. You?”

“Ah'll live. Ace?”

Raj pointed at where he saw the dog slide to a halt, only to find the spot empty.

Several of the Diamond Dogs noticed it before him and took that as the sign to flee. Most of them knuckle-ran for the yawning entrance to the cave, some simply burrowing straight down into the ground. No consideration was given to their wounded, who were either left in groaning heaps or unmoving on the ground.

They warily watched them go until the last gray shape had fled into the dark tunnel.

Raj set the end of his staff against the ground and let out a long breath “Well, that went about as well as I expected.”

Applejack raised an eyebrow at him “Really?”

Raj shrugged “He fell for it, didn't he? And we were able to fight them off.”

“Toldja we shoulda got these axes out from the beginning.” Sounded Big Macintosh “Great Grandpappy Bramley always said they'd be there to protect the family, 'n look what they're doin' now?” He held the weapon up proudly, its gold finish marred by cakes of thick blood.

Applejack crinkled her nose at it and rolled her tongue in her mouth, suddenly reminded of Ace's taste. “Let's just get out of here.”

The two ponies started to jog when they were halted by a word “No.”

Applejack cantered to a halt and turned around “What?”

Raj looked at her “No, we can't go yet. We're not done.”

She frowned “What're ya talkin' about? This is as far as the plan went. We truss you up so you can get close the Granny, get her in the wagon, Caramel pulls them to town, and we follow after.”

“I know the plan Applejack.”

“Well it's time to follow after Rajrishi! Now let's go!” She all but shouted at him.

“No, okay. We should move in.”

She looked at him aghast “Are you crazy?”

“Ace is on the backfoot. His dogs are scared and injured and he's hurt. We're never going to be at an advantage like this again. We need to go in and finish things. Now.”

“That is insane!” She stepped closer to him “You'll get us all killed!”

“And leaving now will get your home destroyed!” He shouted back.

A beat passed with Applejack looking at him apprehensively. He continued “What do you think Ace will do when he rallies in the next few hours? Hide? See the error of his ways? No, he's going to go back to the farm with every dog he can still control and burn the whole thing to the ground. Is that what you want? Is that okay with you? Can you honestly tell me you believe for even a second that crazed animal will do anything else? That he could possibly do anything besides that?”

Applejack looked around fruitlessly, her mouth working on half-formed words. Macintosh trotted up and put a hoof on her shoulder. “He's right AJ, this is what we need to do.”

She took one last look around, hoping to see something that would prove her argument. “Ah.. ah...” her shoulders slumped and she gave in “Okay Rajrishi... what do we do?”

“We go in, find Ace, we kill him, and we beat down any dog dumb enough to get in our way. Show these animals that ponies and humans are not to be crossed.” He thumped his staff on the ground “And we do it now.”

The two Apples nodded, one less enthusiastically than the other, and they dove into the darkness.

Author's Note

I promise, cross my heart and hope to fly and all that jazz, that next chapter will be the last of dog-fighting. After that I'll have Raj battle a hydra or giant toads or something.

Brown Tunnels

Author's Note

God, this one may very well cost me my Teen rating. Be warned.

Brown Tunnels

The Diamond Dog tunnel smelled like shit.

It wasn't surprising, Raj reckoned. It was a hole in the ground that dozens of mangy animals shared, it wasn't going to be pleasing to any of his senses.

The large tunnel they sprinted down was lit with sputtering lamps, oil flames shaded by panels of wax paper. The light was yellow and dim, but showed them the whole of the tunnel. It was large enough for him to stand upright and the floor was surprisingly flat and had a noticeable downward grade. They clutched their weapons tight, ready for attack from all sides.

They skidded to a halt in a cavern larger than the entire Apple house. The same dim lanterns from the tunnel were nailed to the raw stone and illuminated dozens of tunnels all along the surface of the canyon. The particular tunnel they came out of led onto a high ledge next to a curving river that cut along the outer edge of the chamber, the water calmly flowing along fifteen feet below the edge.

The three of them stepped out into the big room, scanning for any dogs or other threats. No noses poked from the dark passages and no fleeing shadows flickered in the tunnel mouths. Raj stepped over to the ledge and peered down with a small flashlight. No tunnels emerged at the water's edge and there wasn't a shelf for dogs to hide under. They were alone.

“Where the heck did they all go?” Applejack broke the silence, her voice muffled a bit by the handle in her mouth before she slid it back into its harness. “We saw 'em come down here, right?”

Raj nodded “Yeah we did. Don't know where they went.”

“M-maybe we should leave. Ah've been down here before. It's twistier than a hydra's guts, real easy to get lost in.” She bit her lip and fidgeted with her hat, suddenly unsure.

Raj looked his shoulder at her “Don't think that's happening Applejack. If you want to leave, you can. Your brother and I will take care of this.” he replied honestly.

Applejack's eyes widened and she started toward a choice diatribe before she was interrupted by her brother's rumbling voice. “Wait, ah hear something.” said Big Mac. He flicked and rotated his ears, trying to catch the sound he'd faintly picked up. “There.” He pointed a hoof at a tunnel mouth high on the wall.

“Alright, come on.” Raj walked over to the wall and started hauling himself up, Big Macintosh not far behind. After a few moments of nervousness, Applejack followed behind.

At the tunnel's entrance Raj could hear a faint roar coming from further down the warren. It seemed to surge and dip, but there was a constant drone that was too faint to make out anything in particular. Raj furrowed his brow “What is that?”

“Don't rightly know, can't say ah wanna find out neither.” She dusted herself off with her tail “Celestia knows how far away that is. The way these tunnels're built? Could be miles away.”

“Or it could not be.” He shot her a sidelong glance. “You're really pushing for us to leave.”

“Ah just don't want us doing anything stupid.”

“Like talking at full volume while infiltrating an enemy stronghold?” He cocked an eyebrow at her.

Applejack shot him a look like she had more to say, but just set her gaze forward and nodded once before falling into step behind him.

It turned out she was right. The three of them soon found themselves slogging through long passages of haphazardly arranged switchbacks and dead-ends. At some points the tunnel narrowed down far enough Raj had to crawl, at others it was high enough the ever-present lantern light didn't reach the ceiling. At every juncture Raj marked the wall with a line of yellow spraypaint, giving them a path to follow out. More than once the echoing racket faded out of their hearing, forcing them to wait for it to start again before they could resume moving.

The entire trip in they were wary for Diamond Dogs, but none showed themselves.

The noise quickly resolved itself into the fervent barks and howls of Diamond Dogs. There were no words, just screamed malice. Placing his hand on the ground, he could feel the stones shuddering.

Big Mac watched him kneel and muttered “Must be a lotta dogs.”

“Good thing we're only looking for one.” Raj stood up and kept walking forward.

A few bends later they saw another chamber ahead, this one lit brightly. The noise they'd been following clarified, signaling that they had finally found the source of it.

Raj crouched and proceeded warily, his staff held up to avoid knocking on the wall or scraping the ground. As he got near the noise got even louder. Standing just beyond the mouth of the passage were two burly dogs in ramshackle armor, looking down a perilously sloped ledge at something in the center of the chamber that had them hooting and hollering. They were so absorbed in whatever spectacle was present they never sensed Raj coming up behind them.

The first one he grabbed and hurled back to the Apple siblings who caught him and proceeded to clobber him unconscious. The second one grunted something and tried to whip around, but Raj's arms snaked under his foreleg and across his neck. A few seconds of panicked struggling later the dog went still.

Raj knelt down and peered over the edge.

The first thing he noticed was that there were dogs in the chamber. They stood in pits or on ledges dug into the wall. Some hung off rocky protrusions or clambered over their fellows. A few brawled with one another or simply hung back with reserved demeanor.

The second was that there were hundreds of them.

“Holy moly.” whispered Applejack at his side.

“Yeah.”

“There's, there's more here than ah ever...” Applejack gulped “There's enough dogs down there to overrun alla Ponyville.”

“Yeah.” Raj repeated.

“No wonder they were so hard up for food. There's probably not enough game for a hundred miles to keep all them mouths fed. Golly.”

Big Macintosh pointed downwards “There something going on in the center.”

Far below, in the center of the chamber, Ace was facing off against three dogs very near his size. Two of them came at his sides, low and baring fangs. The black dog met them head on, smashing one to the ground with balled fists. The other one didn't hesitate, but Ace's improbable speed kept him away from the other dog. He slashed at the other dog's legs with the now-bony tip of his tail and caught something important as the other dog went tumbling to the ground. It let out some yelps and started to limp away.

With Ace distracted, the third dog made his move. With surprising speed, the beast closed the distance and latched onto Ace's chest with claws and fangs, worry and pulling at his pectoral. The black dog let out a cross between a bark of pain or laughter and wrapped his forelegs around the other dog's back, raking with his jagged claws.

The pain proved too much and the other dog unlatched to howl in agony and that was all the chance Ace needed. He grabbed the other dog's face by the jaws and started to pull, splitting the other dog's face apart. Wild terror flashed in the creature's eyes and it slapped and clawed at Ace's arms. The black dog ignored that and, with a great exertion, tore his arms upward and shattered the dog's jaw. The creature's tongue lolled out obscenely and its eyes rolled back into in their sockets. Ace threw the broken creature to the ground where it shuddered pathetically for a moment before Ace descended on it, messily driving his muzzle into the nape of its neck. He shook his head and tore upwards, coming up with a white vertebrae in his mouth.

“Oh mah god.” muttered Applejack.

“Ah'm gonna be sick.” Macintosh trotted back away from the edge and did just that. The sounds of his repulsion were masked by the howling cries of the dogs in crowd as they screamed at the bloody display in both repulsion and adoration.

“What is this? What's happenin'?” Asked Applejack, her face ashen.

“He's asserting.”

As they watched the two remaining dogs recovered from their previous attacks and consolidated themselves close enough their sides were pressing together. Ace laughed and bit through the verterbrae in his mouth with an audible crack. He dropped to the all fours and charged the two dogs.

“Whaddya mean?” She whispered, never taking her eyes off the violent spectacle below.

“You told me that Diamond Dogs are pack animals. Well, we just embarrassed Ace pretty badly outside, injured him and sent him running. As soon as they got inside, some of the bigger ones must have challenged his dominance. And now, well...” He gestured at the bloody fight.

“You tellin' me he's killing his boys just to prove that he's still in charge?” She asked.

Below, one of the remaining dogs lost a significant part of his face to Ace's claws. The remaining dog watched this and immediately lowered himself down and rolled over to show his belly in an act of submission. Ace was having none of that and pounced, tearing into the dog's exposed weakness.

“Yeah, I am.” Raj turned “We need to go, there's way too many dogs here. We never should have-”

He cut off when he saw a small, brown shape at the mouth of the tunnel, standing less than a body-length away from Big Macintosh as he heaved onto the stones. The little dog inhaled and let out a howl before he was sent bounced back down the tunnel by Raj's hurled staff. He peeked back over the edge, hoping the din of the celebrating dogs covered it.

Every single dog in the theater/cavern were staring back up at him. Some of them just looked confused, others frightened, but most looked absolutely bloodthirsty. Ace pointed a soaked claw up at him and screamed something incoherent that whipped the assembled dogs into a frenzy.

“Run!” Raj spun on a heel and started beating feet for the tunnel, scooping up his staff as he went. The Apple siblings sprinted behind him.

Beside him, Applejack huffed “How'd they hear him over all that noise?”

“I don't know, a special warning howl or something. Shutup and run!” Raj skidded in the dirt and took a corner hard, going over the map of the tunnels he had in his head while still searching for the yellow paint lines.

They had a solid lead on the creatures, but they were in their home, terrain that only the Diamond Dogs had knowledge of. They'd barely made it five turns before they heard the baying of hounds echoed down the tunnel they were facing as well as behind.

Applejack looked back and forth between the tunnel they had just come from and the one that was marked. She turned to a side passage and shouted “C'mon this way!”

Raj stopped her with a tail grab as she started down the tunnel. She stumbled and angrily snapped her head back to him “Hey, what gives?”

“We can't go that way. They're herding us. This is the straightest path out and they're already blocking it. We deviate and we'll never get out.” he slammed the butt of his staff on the stone floor. “We go through.”

The Apples looked at him nervously, but nodded all the same. They drew their axes and set themselves at the mouth of the tunnel. Deeper down, they could all see the ragged shapes of approaching dogs in the lantern light.

With a feral scream, all three of them went barreling down the tunnel at the wall of dogs.

The effect was reminiscent of a cannonball hitting their ranks. Raj's shoulder charge sent the first line of dogs flying back, their airborne bodies knocking their fellows to the ground to be trampled by feet and hooves.
Most of the dogs were sent reeling by the sudden assault, either too dazed or too scared to fight. The ones that weren't leaped at their attackers, still mad with bloodlust from the spectacle in the theater. Those were swiftly battered down with staff or hoof or chopped with one of the Apple's axes. They stood in a rough formation, Raj covering the front with great sweeps of staff or sharp strikes when one got too close. The siblings stood to each his wings, covering the sides.

They didn't worry about the rear, as they didn't leave any dog behind that could fight.

After minutes of slogging through the brutal quagmire, just when Raj was thinking that they would never clear the path, he stepped over a beaten dog and they were through.

He took a second to look around, suddenly surprised as the lack of violence. He glanced behind and saw a tunnel layered in Diamond Dogs in varying states of injury. A thin splatter of blood covered the end of his staff and more of the stuff was splattered on his arms and legs. The Apples had gotten the worst of it, most of the ichor having splashed on their faces from savage ax impacts.

They wasted no more time than that and kept moving. Raj's hunch proved correct, it appeared that the dogs had not been expecting their quarry to make it beyond that tunnel as the next several passages were free of canine presence, save the odd howl echoing through the corridors as the dogs tried to synchronize around their prey.

They were just beyond half-way out when they next ran into another pack of dogs. These were guarding a wide, curving tunnel thick with side passages that twisted away from the central stem. Upon seeing the intruders, they hunched low and growled mindlessly. Some barked up white foam and snarled terrible threats at them while heavy, armored beasts stood at the front.

All three set themselves, ready to fight through the mob again, when the Apple sibling's eyes widened and they leaped forward, Big Macintosh shouldered Rajrishi with him, sending him stumbling forward. Raj shouted in confusion before he looked back at the ground they had been standing on.

The formerly solid, stony surface was boiling and cracking. Rising out of it were dozens of dogs.

They now had a pack to the front and the rear.

“Just sprint it! Go!” Shouted Raj as he hurled himself at the line of dogs and blasted a hole in it for the Apples and kept running.

Before, they hacked and beat their way through the horde of enemies. This time, they hopped and ran, dodging reaching claws and grasping pounces. Applejack nimbly sprang off of individual dogs, moving with practiced ease through the throng of dogs. Raj and Mac didn't have that agility, but they had strength. Where Applejack bounded over obstacles, they crashed through them, breaking bones and sending dogs flying.

Raj was ahead of him, bludgeoning a hole in the mass of Diamond Dogs. He swung his staff wide and sent a wall of furred bodies flying against the opposite wall. He started to push forward when he heard a terrible bellow of agony behind him.

He whipped around and saw Macintosh on the ground, a black shape intertwined with him. The giant dog's mouth was clamped over the back of his hock. Mac was screaming, his ax discarded, and swung down at Ace's head over and over. He ignored the strikes and pulled back, widening the wound and bringing a renewed keen of agony from the red pony.

Snarling madly, Raj dove at the big dog, clearing the distance in one leap. He threw a haymaker at his head, but the dog swayed out of the way. The punch sailed past and struck the wall, sending small fractures through the stone.

Ace let out an evil little giggle and bounced away, his muzzle stained with purple pony blood. Raj cast a glance down at Macintosh's prone form. A grapefruit sized chunk had been torn out of the back of his leg, leaving a bleeding void. He strained and grunted, trying to get up on the damaged limb.

“APPLEJACK!” Raj shouted as loud as he could while battering away dogs that flocked at the sight of a downed pony. The orange pony glanced back from her fight and her eyes widened at the sight of her maimed brother. She cleared the distance between in a flash and knelt near her faltering brother.

“Sweet Celestia Macintosh...” She said, tears welling in her eyes.

“Damn... damn dog was waiting for me. Hit when mah back was turned like a...” he didn't finish his sentence, instead his eyes rolled up into his head and he toppled.

Applejack cried out and caught him, tears flowing freely down her face. She shouldered his weight and took up his fallen ax. “Rajrishi, we need to go!”

“I know!” he screamed back as he struck at the dogs pressing from every side. He eyed the nearest passage leading from the main thoroughfare and pointed his staff at it. “There, go!”

He dove back into the mass of dogs, clearing a path with wild swings. The dogs fought back, emboldened by their leader's momentary presence and the terrible damage done to Big Macintosh. Claws raked across his flesh and teeth sunk into his limbs. He considered that the price of doing business and pressed on, opening a hole for Applejack and her brother to follow into.

Raj pressed himself flat against the wall as Applejack went racing past. Raj rounded on the approaching wall of canines and started to club downwards at them, the passage to narrow to swing sideways. Quickly the narrow space filled with limp and beaten dogs, but more and more climbed over their fallen kin as he backed up.

Quickly running out of options, Raj spun and sprinted after Applejack. The dogs bounded over their fallen comrades and snapped at his heels.

In a moment of malicious inspiration, Raj hauled his staff back and smashed it into one of the wooden braces holding the tunnel up as he sprinted past. The magically strong wood shattered the brace, and as soon as it fell the whole tunnel started to rumble. The dogs skittered to a halt and started retreating, immediately recognizing the sound and knew exactly what was to follow.

The ceiling started to cave and dust layered over him as ran, heavy stones smacking the ground and scraping off his shoulders. He ran for all he was worth, head down and screaming.

He breached the end of the tunnel and his foot struck a rock. Swearing loudly, he stumbled and hit the ground, going into a slide that ended with a painful impact against the opposite wall. A wave of dust washed out of the tunnel after him, snuffing the lone lantern in the chamber and plunging him into darkness.

Raj groaned, flexing his back and pressing a palm where he smacked against the wall. It felt hot, but not wet or tender like he'd broken something. He'd have a bruise for a few days, but it wasn't enough to put him down.

He sat up and his head swam, his sightless eyes swirling in his head. He let out another groan and clutched at his head. He sucked in a deep breath and was thrown into a fit of coughing from the damp dust clinging to the air. He leaned back, body wracking.

Something warm pressed against his shoulder and Raj flipped out. He slapped it away and started blindly swinging. He felt his hand glanced off of something furry and he lunged at it.

“Whoa partner, whoa!” said a calming, female voice “Calm down, we're good.”

Raj froze “Applejack?”

“Yeah. You still got that flashlight?”

“Oh, uh, yeah.” He fumbled in his pockets and pulled the little light out. He clicked it on and illuminated Applejack's dusty face. She grunted and shaded her eyes from the light. Raj turned it aside and muttered an apology.

“Come help me with this.” She trotted over to a large boulder against the wall and started pushing, rolling it towards the collapsed tunnel. Between the two of them they were able to easily block the passage with the heavy stone.

Raj leaned against the rock and panted. “How's Macintosh?”

“Not sure, bring the light.” she tilted her head and Raj shined his flashlight at the big pony's prone form. He grimaced at the sight.

His entire leg was soaked in purple blood, everything below his gaskin was hanging on by stubborn bits of tendon and muscle, the bone bit through cleanly. The pony himself made no sound, having passed out from shock during their flight into the chamber.

Raj shook his head and whispered “I think he's gonna lose the leg Applejack.”

“No he ain't, he's an earth pony. It'll grow back on its own. Heck, he's already stopped bleeding.” Raj looked down and saw that no blood was pooling under the wound. Applejack continued “We just need to get it splinted so it don't go and open up again.

Nodding, Raj fetched his staff and tied it to the big pony's leg with the shreds of his shirt. Ragged claws had torn it apart quite thoroughly, so he didn't consider it much of a loss.

Raj stood up and scanned the chamber “Alright, we need to get moving again. If you carry him I think we can...” He trailed off as he searched around “Where's the exit?”

“Ah didn't, ah didn't see it.” She craned her neck around, following the disc of light “Check again.”

They did, going in a complete circle around the chamber several times. Applejack had him search higher on the walls and the ceiling, thinking that there might be a tunnel like the river chamber, but there was only featureless, gray stone.

After minutes of fruitless searching, Raj finally said what they were both dreading. “There's no way out.” he looked at her “We're trapped.”

Green Eyes

Applejack screamed in frustration and threw a mighty buck at the wall. Raj swore he felt the room shake a bit from the power of it.

“No! Alright, just... no!” She shouted as she paced the chamber. “We didn't come all this way to die trapped like rats. Look again!”

“Applejack-”

“Again!”

“Fine.” he circled the flashlight around the room in a quick scan. “Hey, look at that, no tunnel, just like the last fifty times I looked.”

She spat a curse and resumed pacing the chamber. They'd been like this for the last quarter hour, Raj sitting against a wall next to Macintosh's unconscious form with Applejack anxiously patrolling the room. She chewed her lip in thought, searching the dimly lit room for ideas.

“Maybe we can, like, get more stone from the walls and make a bigger barricade.” She stomped the ground with a hoof. “The ground here is too solid for them to dig through, so they need to come through that tunnel. If we delay them, maybe we'll be able to hold out for help.”

“You know anyone that would be able to fight through an army of ravenous Diamond Dogs? Cause if so, you probably should have brought them instead of me.” Raj slumped “Anyway, nobody knows we're down here, it'd take days for them to get to us. We'd run out of air by then even if the dogs wouldn't get to us.”

“Dammit all.” She was silent for a minute and then said “What if we tunneled ourselves out? Got up high and dug ourselves out. Figure if we just go up, we'll hit the surface eventually.”

Raj looked up, scanning the solid stone ceiling “You want to dig through that with bare hands and hooves and a pair of axes, through a section of ground already thick with tunnels? We'd be lucky if we only caused a cave-in.”

“Luna-dammit!” she screamed, her voice filling the small chamber. She growled in frustration and and stomped her hooves. Her face sunk and she dropped to the ground next to him, her head hung low.

They sat in silence for a minute before Raj spoke up “I'm sorry Applejack, for... this.”

“It's okay.” she sniffled.

“No, it isn't. We should have followed the plan, went back to town, and come back with more people. Instead I got it in my head that we could-”

She waved a hoof at him “Shush, no use crying over spilled cider.” She adjusted her hat “Sides, this ain't the worst thing ah been through. Not by a longshot."

Raj raised an eyebrow at her "Really? You've been through a crappier situation than this?"

She looked at him squarely "Yessir. Why, ah took a float through the Scariest Cave in Equestria once, now that was frightening."

"The scariest cave in Equestria? Really?"

"That ah did. 'Bout died of fright."

"How do you even quantify such a thing? Who's is the ruling body on cave terror?"

"Trust me, if'n you were there, you'd agree." They shared a mutual chuckled that fell into good-natured silence for almost a minute, then Applejack continued "So, what're we going to do?”

Raj sighed “Well, I figure we can either stay in here just like this and get torn apart by dogs.”

“Not a big fan of that plan.”

“Right, me neither. So that means that our only way out is through there.” He pointed at the blocked tunnel “And that means fighting, harsh, close-in fighting.”

Applejack looked at the stone blocking the tunnel. Faintly, she could hear scratching coming from the other side of it. “Well, ah don't like it, but no Apple's ever gone down what had fight left in 'em. Count me in.”

“Now, another thing Applejack. With Mac hurt, you'll have to carry him, so I'll be fighting by myself. I won't be able... it's...” He paused, unable to find the words. “I won't have the luxury of not, um...”

Applejack looked over at her fallen brother and his mutilated leg. Her face hardened and she said to him curtly “You do what you gotta do sugarcube.”

“Good.” Raj cinched his patka, tying it tightly. “Tunnel's only wide enough for one. I'll go first, you carry Macintosh and follow after. Any dogs that get past me you'll have to take care of because I am not turning around.”

“Gotcha. Here.” She mouthed him the ax at her side and slid Macintosh's discarded weapon. “You'll need 'em more than me.”

He took them from her and gave them an experimental roll in his hands, testing their weight and balance. For ponies they were battleaxes, but for him they were more akin to hatchets with longer beards. Finding them satisfactory, he nodded and replied “Much obliged.” He looked at the stone and saw it wobbling slightly as the dogs on the other side started pushing against it. He set himself and asked “You ready?”

She danced on her hooves a bit and held the flashlight in her mouth “Ready as ah'm gonna be.”

“Good enough.” He lowered and let out a scream as he charged the side of the boulder. He hit it with a shoulder-strike that sent the giant stone bouncing across the chamber.

The light was faint, but he could clearly see the look of startled surprise on the first Diamond Dog's face. The unlucky dog didn't even have time to realize what was happening before one of the Apple Axes flashed downward and split his head in half.

Raj looked up from the bloody display and saw the now-clear tunnel stretching before him, absolutely choked with dogs and lit with more wax-paper lanterns. The assembled beasts let out murderous snarls and surged forward. Raj dove in with a howl, hacking and slashing with incredible strength and keen precision.

It was a strange thing to think, but fighting with the Apple Axes was so very different from his staff. What he lacked in reach he made up for in speed. The strong, light metal of the axes let him swing lightning-fast, and the almost preternaturally sharp edges sliced through meat and bone with ease, as he discovered again and again and again.

The orange pony following in his wake stepped gingerly, avoiding laying hoof on any survivors. She didn't do them any harm, the fight had been taken out of them already.

To Raj's surprise, the dogs that had growled threats at the beginning were quickly retreating. They scrabbled over their brethren to escape. The small number of brave dogs that chose to face his wrath did so only briefly before joining their packmates in piles on the floor.

Something reflective came from further down the hall and he instinctively flashed his guard up. A hurled spear struck the flat of an ax and shattered. He peered after its source and saw a big dog in heavy armor. It lifted another spear and hurled it at him.

Raj ducked the second missile and stood up, hiking an arm back. He hurled one of the Apple Axes as hard as he could. It spun in mid-flight and caught the dog squarely in the neck as it was turning to grab another spear. The creature flew back and hit the wall, the blade still embedded in its flesh.

That was it for the rest of the dogs as they all turned and ran, yipping and howling in fear. He stepped out into the primary tunnel and saw dogs retreating down both. He retrieved the ax and said to Applejack “Let's go.” She responded with a mute nod.

All totaled, thirty-one Diamond Dogs met their end in that tunnel.

They resumed their retreat, following the paint marks they'd left. Every so often they would encounter a small clutch of dogs searching their tunnels for further intruders. They caught them off-guard every time and made quick work of them. It was funny, Raj thought. The fact that their plan was so half-cocked and idiotic was working to their advantage. Ace didn't think there was any way only three would come into their warrens, so he figured there had to be more somewhere. If he knew their real numbers, they would simply be overwhelmed.

They made good speed that left them both huffing and puffing hard. Her brother's weight and the day's exertions left Applejack more fatigued than she'd been in months. Raj's injuries and the strain of combat left him in a similar state.

After twenty or so minutes of panicked flight, they stood in the tunnel leading to the river chamber, the first chamber of the warrens.

Applejack breathed a palpable sigh of relief that was rudely interrupted by the yipping of dogs approaching from behind. She groaned “Not again, no more.”

“C'mon just a little further.” He egged her on and pulled her forward. She broke into a limping canter as he sprinted ahead.

Raj hit the lip and dropped, using the axes to hook the stone and lower himself down. He hit the ground and rolled. He looked up to see Applejack standing at the mouth of the tunnel.

She glanced over her shoulder and cried out “They're right behind me!”

“Jump down!” He shouted back. Before the words had fully left his mouth she sprang out, clutching to her brother to keep him from falling away. Raj dropped the axes and shuffled underneath them. He caught Applejack's weight and then Big Macintosh's hit and he almost buckled. Gingerly he set the ponies down and steadied Applejack for a moment. He retrieved the axes and smiled at her “Almost there Applejack, we're almost home free.”

She grinned back at him deliriously and they started for the brilliant tunnel that shone with daylight. They made only a few meager steps towards it before they saw the looming shapes of dogs barring their path and loping towards them.

“It's the only way out, of course it's guarded.” Raj lowered himself into a fighting crouch, ready to take the dogs on.

“Uh, Rajrishi, we got a problem.” said Applejack worriedly.

“I know, dogs.”

“Lots of dogs, too many dogs.” Applejack tapped his thigh and he turned around.

From every tunnel mouth in the nexus chamber, Diamond Dogs loomed like gargoyles. Hundreds of them, all growling and crawling their way down to them.

Raj backed up, glancing around. Dogs of all shape and sizes were entering the chamber, and others were howling down passages to summon even more. He backed up their position, slowly edging them to ledge over the river, never dropping his guard.

A cordon formed around them, a clear space of about thirty feet. The beasts growled or yipped, howling threats or vile insults his way. He glanced at the exit tunnel a mere hundred feet distant, but there was a solid sea of dogs between them and it.

They postured and threatened, throwing lewd gestures his way, but none of them advanced. Not a one.

“Oh mah god Rajrishi, what're we gonna do?” whispered Applejack, terror heavy on her voice.

He quietly muttered back “I have an idea, follow my lead.”

Raj narrowed his eyes and hopped forward, menacing the crowd of dogs. The nearest dogs ceased their threats and recoiled, scared whimpers sounding from them. The dogs behind them were pushed back by the ripple, some of them even falling off their feet from the sudden push.

His eyebrows shot up. They were afraid of him.

He could use that.

As loud as he could, Raj bellowed out “Ace! Show yourself!”

When the dog didn't appear immediately he cried it out again. At the seventh cry he saw the black dog stride from a tunnel and start pushing his way through the crowd. He breached the cordon and stood at the forefront of his pack.

Ace stood on his hind legs, forearms crossed smugly. His fur was still caked with blood and he was wearing a thin bit of white bone on a cord that Raj assumed came from Macintosh's leg. The big dog smugly asked “You want to beg, not-pony? It not work.”

“No, I want to fight.”

Ace cocked his head in confusion “What you say not-pony?”

“I want to fight Ace.” he pointed an ax at the big dog's chest.

Ace was quiet a moment and then let out a hissing laugh, his face actually smiling for once through his omnipresent snarl. “You funny or crazy not-pony. Why would I do that?”

“Shutup mutt, I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to them.” He looked around the crowd of Diamond Dogs “I don't care about you all, I'm here for him and him alone. Any of you that get in my way will die, but he is all that I want. Let me have him and I will leave you in peace.”

“My dogs are brave and loyal!” he spat. “Kill him, kill him now!”

Ace gestured forward and... nothing. The dogs stood still, some looking around in confusion or fear. The ones nearest to Ace backed away from him, looking at him fearfully.

“Did you not hear me?” Ace grabbed the nearest dog to him and threw him forward “Go!”

The dog hit the ground gracelessly and scrabbled up. He looked back and forth between Ace and Raj, whimpered and sprinted to the side, away from them both.

Ace screamed in incoherent rage and leaped into his own dogs, grabbing them and clawing. They recoiled away, avoiding his grip. His head snapped back to Raj and he screamed “You, you did this! You did this to me! To my pack!”

“And I'd do it again a thousand times you worthless little maggot!” He spat back, stalking forward. He turned around and said to Applejack “Stay here.”

“Uh-huh.”

Ace lowered and broke into a loping run, his eyes filled with unimaginable fury. Raj saw him coming and grit his teeth in anger. He looked down at the axes and shook his head. “No, you I'm going to kill with my hands.” and unclenched his fists, letting the axes drop.

The massive beast closed the distance in rapid strides and dove at his chest. Raj raised his arms to block and caught him, his hands gripping at greasy fur. They went into a roll across the floor in a tangle of limbs. They settled on the ground, Raj over Ace's back.

Raj looped an arm around the dog's front and clenched down, pressing his forearm to the canine's throat while his other arm looped under his armpit, restraining the limb. Ace squirmed and grunted, trying to free himself as the blood was blocked from his brain. They rolled a few times, eventually stopping with Raj underneath him, but his arms still crushing. Ace twisted his head to try and nip at the restraining arm, but didn't have the angle. His vision started to darken and his struggles went weak.

The black dog coiled his whole body up, putting all of his weight on Raj's chest and swung his stubby little feet down, landing one of them squarely on Raj's crotch.

Raj let out a cry of agony and his grip loosened. Ace leaned up and then swung his head back, cracking Raj on the chin with his skull. Raj's head cracked into the ground and he was left in a daze. Ace spun on top of him and and rose up as a wheezing cough ripped from his lungs. He raised a claw and swung it down, drawing a pair of shallow lines from his shoulder to his sternum.

The sudden flare of agony brought Raj to coherency and he blindly lashed out. Luck was on his side and he managed to grab underneath Ace's chin. He pushed up, forcing the dog off of him. Ace growled and shook, flailing wildly at his arm, leaving ragged scratches.

Raj screamed and drove his black fist into the Alpha's gut, sinking all the way up to his wrist. Ace tensed and shook, his face contorting into a pained grimace. Raj hauled back and swung again and again, each time hitting him in the same pulverized spot.

Ace re-positioned his legs and leaped away using Raj's stomach as a spring board. He hit the ground hard and tried to right himself, but the pain in his abdomen forced him to his knees and he coughed up a plug of black bile.

Raj lumbered to his feet, his every motion bringing a jolt of agony from his abused groin. Ignoring that, he stood up straight, hands clenched into fists, and stalked over to the prone dog.

Ace looked up in time to catch the toe of a boot squarely in the face. He sailed back and hit the ground hard, clutching his broken muzzle and yowling in pain. He staggered up, shaking his head and muttering. “Stupid ponies and not-pony, come into my warren, kill my dogs, break my pack. I will eat your heart!” Ace screamed and charged again.

“What did you think was going to happen Ace?” he sidestepped his first lunge and chopped down at his upper back, driving him to the ground. He planted a boot on his back and pressed, holding him there. “You extorted those people for months, attacked their children, did you think they were just going to ignore that?” He hissed at him, grinding his heel into his spine.

Ace's tail lashed up, slicing down Raj's calf. He let out a cry of surprise and recoiled, letting Ace scrabble away on all fours. He spat back “Yes! They are ponies, we are dogs. We take what we want and they give what we ask! That is the way of things, that is what we are!”

Raj shook his head “If that's true then you and all your dogs are worth nothing at all. This couldn't have ended any other way. If not me, then an army of ponies rolling through here tomorrow. You have to die.”

Ace grinned “Wrong not-pony, Ace can never die.”

“Nothing at all...” He reiterated and broke into a silent charge.

Ace was ready for him, and did something wholly unexpected. Ace ducked low and spun, sweeping his skinny tail out at his legs. It hit his damaged leg and a flare of pain surged up his limb. His footing went bad and he stumbled, sliding prone on the ground.

He winced for a moment and then turned, expecting Ace to be on top of him. Instead, the dog was sprint away from him, towards the river.

Towards Applejack.

Panicked adrenaline burned through him and he shouted after the loping dog. Ace was heedless of the scream, intent on murdering the Apple siblings. To her credit, Applejack slumped off her brother's form and dropped into a fighting crouch.

Maybe he thought that killing the ponies would get his pack back under his control, or maybe he was just feeling spiteful. Raj never found out, as he managed to catch up to the black dog in little more than ten impossibly fast strides.

He grabbed Ace by the ruff of his neck and kept running, pushing forward at an unwise speed. He lifted him up and leaped from the edge of the shelf, sailing the distance to the cavern wall. He twisted Ace in his hands and palmed the side of the dog's head. With a screaming push he slammed Ace's skull against the stone face of the wall hard enough to make his beady, black eye explode in its socket.

An instant later Raj slammed against the wall as well, knocking himself insensate. The two of them limply fell into the river. The frigid water shocked him back into lucidity and he broke the surface with a gasp. He stood up, the water only coming a bit past his waist, and looked around for Ace.

He didn't have to look far. Ace was paddling his way to a steep ramp further down river. He looked ungainly in the water, not at all comfortable with it. He cast a panicked look over his shoulder at Raj, his eye leaking down his face in thick runnels. Grimly, Raj started trudging after him.

Just as Ace started scrabbling up the ramp, Raj grabbed him. Snarling, Ace whipped around and swung an arm, missing badly. Raj swayed back and lunged in and grabbed him by his pelvis and collarbone. He hauled him up and over his head, staring up at him with a flinty look.

Ace struggled vainly against the grip and whimpered “No! I give up, I surrender, I-”

He didn't finish his last sentence as Raj swung the black dog down and slammed him spine-first onto his bent knee.

Ace let out a breathless scream and rolled off. He clawed at the ground and started crawling away. It didn't matter that it was back into the water, he just wanted to get away from Raj. He propped himself up and cried “My legs, I can't-”

For the second time Raj cut him off. He jumped forward and sat on the black dog's back, holding his head down under the water. Bloody bubbles rose up to the surface and he struggled vainly, pushing against the bottom to try and dislodge Raj.

It only took a minute, maybe two, for the bubbles to stop.

And that's how the fearsome, Black Alpha of the Diamond Dogs died. Beaten, scared, and struggling for air.

* * *

The walk back was about as uneventful as one could expect. The most threatening thing they ran into was some windblown dandelion seeds.

They gave Macintosh's leg a proper dressing and set him up in his room. Applejack assured Raj that he would be fine with time and left him to rest. Raj saw to himself as well, slathering some of Zecora's unguent on his injuries and wrapping them in bandages. He stole one of Macintosh's shirts. Despite the awkward shape it fit fairly well.

He walked downstairs to see Applejack in her seat at the table staring off at nothing, a tall mug of cider in her hooves and her hat sitting in front of her. Her ear flicked in his direction when he entered the room, but she gave no other indication of detecting his presence.

He pulled up a chair and sat down. “Hey.”

“Hey.” she said back and took a draw from her mug.

“Macintosh is all settled in. I put a towel under his leg so he won't bloody up the sheets and made sure he got some water. I left some food on the table near him for when he wakes up. He should be fine while we go to town and talk to your family. Actually, we should probably get going now if we don't want to lose the light.” he stood up.

“He gave up near the end there, didn't he?”

Raj stopped, paused, and lowered himself back down. “Yeah, he did.”

“And you killed him anyway.”

Raj was silent for a minute before whispering “Yes.”

She stared forward blankly before throwing back the last of her cider. She wiped her mouth and finally looked at him, tears brimming in her eyes. “Thank you.” She lunged forward and wrapped him in a tight hug. “Thank you so much Rajrishi.”

He returned the embrace, gently holding her close while she rambled. “Ah, ah, there's nopony else who coulda done... that.” She sniffled and pressed her face to his bare shoulder. “And ah know ah'd never feel... feel safe 'gain s'long as... as...”

He ran a hand down her back “It's okay Applejack, you don't have to say it. I know.”

“Thank you.” She made no move to leave, just clung to him and sobbed quietly.

He stayed that way for a while, letting her cleanse herself without shame. Eventually when she'd calmed down a bit, he said softly “I'm leaving tonight Applejack.”

She perked up. “What? Why?”

“I came here to get better and I have. Figure it's time to go.” He shrugged “Anyway, it's not like you need me here.”

“But what if the dogs come back?”

“The dogs are not coming back.” He replied flatly.

“But what about today, huh? Aren't ya all banged up from that? You should get some rest.”

“It was nothing bad, nothing that requires a doctor's visit at least. Anyway, I've been healing like crazy ever since I came here. I'll be fine in a few days.” He set her back on the ground. “It's decided, okay? Don't fret about it.”

Applejack's muzzle crinkled as she tried to think of more reasons, but she bit them back and let out a sigh, something like relief shuddering through her. “You sure there's nothing ah can do to make ya stay?”

He smiled “Positive. The only way home I know of has to be in the Everfree, and I can't find it living here. Though I do have a favor to ask.”

“G'head.”

“Take care of Banjo for me? He'll be much safer here with you.”

“Oh, sure, sure. Ah can do that.” She smiled lightly. “Ah'm kinda partial to him actually. He's a real good dog. Maybe ah can get some puppies out of him after all.”

“Yeah, good luck with that.” he grabbed his bag and stood up.

“Well, ah'm not sending you out there unprepared, that's for sure.” She trotted to the corner and grabbed the canvas harness and set it on the table. “Here, take these.”

Raj pulled one of the Apple Axes from its sheath and gave it a once-over. “Really? Applejack, these were your Grandfather's.”

“And now they're yours. 'Sides, we don't got a use for 'em, but you sure do.” her face hardened a touch “Anyway, ah don't much like the idea of having something in the house that-”

“I understand, thank you Applejack.” he grabbed the sling and laid it over a shoulder. “I should go while I still have some daylight.”

Applejack nodded and trotted to the door. She nosed it open and held it for him, smiling lightly.

As he walked down the dirt path, leaning on his staff with every other step, Applejack shouted after him “Don't be a stranger, come on back some time.”

He waved back and even at such a distance, he could see in her eyes the desperate hope-against-hope that he never would.

END OF BOOK ONE

Author's Note

Okay, I posted both of these on the same day, so I wasn't lying in the author notes for Chapter 21.

I wasn't!

Book Two: Blackhand Rajrishi

Deep in the Everfree, far beyond the bramble thickets and shrouding canopies, Raj was stalking his lunch.

He slowly crept along a fallen tree-trunk ten meters thick, careful to avoid a scrape or knock that would alert the animals below. With the utmost care, we worked his way along, trying to reach the other side of the oblivious animals.

Sweat beaded off of him steadily and the air felt thick in his lungs it was so humid. Sticky sweat ran into his eyes and he struggled to resist the temptation to wipe it out with his dirty hands. The oppressive heat was cut only by a generous layer of mud slathered over his back and chest.

At his elevation he was able to scan the herd of giant boars that were rummaging for food. After a minute he was able to pick an excellent target: a fat sow, thickly furred and with no piglets. She was blowing her coat, but the previous layer was still clinging to her body. She was perfect for his purposes.

He waited patiently, staring at the small herd of animals, waiting for his mark to lower her head to root for something to eat. As soon as she did, he bounded off the log, clearing fifteen feet from a start and hit the ground in a sprint.

All the boars snapped their heads on him and started scampering, scattering to the winds. His target tried to stay with the group but Raj sprang to the side and cut her off. She bounced from her turn and started pulling straight away from him and the rest of her herd. Raj followed as fast as he could, desperate to keep her in sight.

After a few hundred yards she dropped into a ravine and slewed to the left, cloven hooves scrabbling on the sandy loam. Raj pivoted off of a thin birch tree and fell into it a second after her, never losing speed. He kept his shoulder along the one side of the ravine to ward her off from trying to get out and the higher ridge of the other side kept her from just bounding out that way. For the time being, she was trapped in the ravine with only one way to go.

The flat ground favored the boar and her little legs churned up the soil madly. He kept pace with her, trying to avoid exhausting himself. He kept his breath even and steady to avoid a crash. He couldn't afford that.

The path they ran was long and unforgiving. The sun streamed down with uncloaked radiance and heat seemed to lift off of the ground hot enough to distort the air. It was an inconvenient discomfort for Raj, but it was devastating to the sow. Within five miles she was slowing down and wheezing hard enough Raj could hear it behind her.

He pressed forward and drew an ax, intent on putting the hog down. The boar surprised him though and managed to put in one last burst of power and leaped to the side, scrabbling up the embankment with frenzied motions. Raj cursed and jumped at her, hooking his ax on a trunk to haul himself up.

His haste was misplaced. The creature's mad climb was the last drop of gas it had in the tank. He saw it standing maybe ten steps from the ravine, head down and panting with its tongue out. As he walked forward she collapsed with a tired grunt and shivered. He took care of her with one quick swing.

Not for the first time, Raj thought about how lucky it was he liked the Discovery Channel so much. If it wasn't for that, he wouldn't have ever known that persistence hunting was a thing.

He went about the grisly business of field-dressing her and took off her head. He shouldered her now lighter body and started back to the camp, humming a pleased tune. For him, the best part about returning to the Everfree was the fact that he could eat meat again.

Raj had run across boars in his whole tenure in the Everfree before, but the exceptional size of the creatures and their hooves led Raj to think they might be sentient. Discussions with Zecora on the subject were not illuminating, leading him to believe that the aloof Zebra didn't know. Rather than risk eating a thinking being, he left them alone. He'd had it confirmed inadvertently by Applejack that they were just wild animals like anything else in the Everfree, so he'd been going after them whenever his larder was low. This was the third one he'd hunted since returning to the Everfree.

The walk back to camp was long, quiet, and quite boring. Raj loved every minute of it.

The little clearing he called home hadn't changed much when he returned to it from Sweet Apple Acres. An intrepid raccoon had taken up residence in his car and something had stolen his firewood, but other than that the place was more or less the same as he left it.

He nailed the hog's back legs to a tree to let it drain and then set to building a fire. He rolled a fallen log from further up the hill and hacked it into manageable pieces with the Apple Axes. Once they were stacked he scraped the butts of the blades against each other and kicked off a spray of golden sparks. They landed on the wood and burned blackened pinholes, setting the logs aflame with scarcely any effort.

Raj smiled “Useful things, these axes.”

With gross familiarity he began butchering the huge sow. He sliced the thick tenderloin from its back and removed the legs wholesale. He peeled the butt clear of the carcass and chopped the ribs out. He looked at the hanging carcass and frowned. There was still a lot of meat left on it, but he didn't have the means to store the remainder. A big part of what he'd taken would go bad anyway.

He speared the tenderloin on the pointiest stick he had and suspended it over the fire. In minutes thick runnels of fat were dripping into the fire and sizzled on the coals. He hacked off chunks of the succulent meat and wolfed them down. By the time he was done almost a third of the meat was gone.

What he didn't eat he put in the cooler for later, and what didn't fit there he wrapped in the boar's skin and hid in his trunk. The carcass he disposed of in the river to keep any scavengers from coming around.

He laid down on the rough bed in the cab of his car to hide from the mid-morning heat and tried to rest. He would need the energy, for tonight he was going for a run.

* * *

Raj sprinted through the gloomy thickets, axes held up and ready. All around him, the forest was covered in thick shadows.

The Everfree was a different place at night. Deadlier and lacking constraint or pretense. Nothing tried to hide itself or act with any sort of rule or obligation. The monsters were simply monsters and didn't care what or who knew it. Creatures that ruled the forest in the day would hide come nightfall, giving way to the truly terrifying beasts that called the dark home.

Beasts like the Cockatrice that was currently chasing him.

He could still hear faint squawking and the ruffling of feathers as the creature flew after him. He'd stumbled upon a grove of stone creatures in his searching of the Everfree and had disturbed the gestalt creature in the process. He briefly glanced into its eyes and he immediately felt his feet go leaden. He slashed at the creature and started to hobble away with his eyes clamped shut.

Distance seemed to help as the feeling of petrification faded the further he got from the creature. He kept running long after he couldn't hear the Cockatrice any more.

He peeled off his boots and checked his feet, terrified of finding his toes turned to granite or pumice. Thankfully that was not the case, and aside from an odd layer of stone dust in his shoe he found nothing amiss with his limbs. Muttering, he scooped more of Zecora's green oil from its jar and spread it on his shoulders in the hope that it would keep further creatures away. That only left him with the problem of being completely lost.

His blind retreat through the Everfree left him completely off from his designated path and he was not willing to risk going back the way he came. That only left one option.

Leaping up to the lowest branch, Raj started to climb the tallest tree he could find. When a handhold wasn't present, he hacked an ax into the trunk and pulled himself up with that. His ascent disturbed an odd, three-winged bird that voiced its displeasure with basso shrieks, but he ignored that as best as he was able. In no time at all, he was at the top.

Gazing out at the Everfree canopy, he couldn't help but be struck by it. Spreading before him was a soft carpet of silver-limned blackness, rolling with glittering moonlight as the wind danced across the treetops. Far off in the distance he could make out the looming mega-trees that sprang up in the north. To the south he saw the forest thicken into the dense canopied pseudo-jungle before it sharply gave way to the flat mucky swamps, to his sight it was simply a dropoff into pure shadow. Far above, the sky was alive with thousands of stars. The horizon streaked with the light of a galaxy and sparkling spots of nebulae shown with beautiful pinks and blues.

Despite everything that had happened, Raj still liked Equestria.

He only took a minute to appreciate the beauty of the scenery before he started looking for his marker in the sky. Once that was found, he was able to orient himself. He did some math in his head and was able to piece together a rough idea of where he was.

The starry sky was one of the major reasons he started exploring at night. Navigating the Everfree during the day was an exercise in memorization and gradual frustration. There were no major landmarks, no regular trails in the Everfree. Even if there were, he'd pass by them one day and never see them again as he was searching the place and would have no reason to go back. At night it was cooler, less creatures were about, and he could navigate using Equestria's stars.

He started to climb down when he stopped and did a double-take at the roof of the forest spread before him. He squinted, trying to determine if he was imagining things. After a few seconds he determined he was not. A light was shining from beneath the canopy, a soft white light.

The other reason he searched at night was that light, any amount of light, would show for miles all around

He descended his perch in almost a freefall and set off running as soon as his feet were on the ground. He vaulted trees and sprang over gullies, his breath coming in excited bursts. Hope fluttered in his chest, thudding and burning.

He covered the miles quickly, the starlight showing the way to his prize. After an hour of pure running he saw it.

It was nestled in the center of a grove of maple trees, tucked off on its own in a small clearing. It was larger, half again his height and as thick as his thigh at the bases. This one glowed brighter, but with the same hue of light and warmth of presence.

It was an Arch. He'd finally found another Arch.

Raj's knees gave out and his axes fell from his hands, hanging loose on their cords. He fell forward and let out shuddering breaths, relief rolling off of him in waves. He let out a cry of excitement and moved towards it, half-crawling and half-ambling.

He ran his hands along the bark like he'd done before, feeling the soft warmth that he'd already started to forget. He released a quiet giggle and did it again, and then again. He sat down and leaned against it, enjoying the subtle heat of the bark and the peaceful glow.

He stayed that way for a while, head bowed in prayer and weeping with joy.

* * *

He made his way back, a giddy hop in his step.

Raj started figuring out what he needed to pack and what he needed to do. He'd need to find a water source near the Arch and figure out his food situation. He wouldn't be able to bring his car so he'd have to build a shelter for himself and he wasn't sure what that would entail. Everything of value from his smashed vehicle would need to be salvaged, no point in leaving anything behind.

Then there was the actual act of getting everything there. The new Arch was deep, deep in the Everfree, miles beyond anywhere he'd gone. Raj moved fast, especially given the terrain, and he ended up taking a roundabout path to get there, but he still guessed that there was about six hours of travel between his camp and the new Arch. Moving there would be an endeavor of days or even weeks.

All of his pragmatic plans were regularly interrupted by excited muttering and breathless laughter. He imagined using the Arch to finally get home, the looks on his family's faces and the incredible stories he'd have to tell.

He was so caught up in his imaginings, he didn't even notice the new presence at his camp when he stumbled into it the next day and sat on his trunk.

A small hoof tapped against the side of his car and he looked up. The pony smiled and said “Hi, my name is-”

He smiled back and interrupted “Twilight Sparkle.”

Author's Note

You get no Author's Notes this time!

wait...

Crap!

No Such Thing as Useless Knowledge

Raj dropped his bag “What are you doing here Twilight?”

“Oh, you remember me. Great, that makes this easier.”

“I've only met maybe ten ponies. Of course I remember you.” Raj sighed “Did Fluttershy send you to check up on me?”

“Oh, um, no it's not that.”

“One of the Apples then?” he concluded.

“No, no, I came on my own.”

“Great.” He opened the rear door of his car and squatted onto the crumbling seat. “So how'd you find the place anyway?”

“Basic Finding spell on that stick you carry.” She focused for an instant and her horn flared. In the cab of his car the Ironoak Staff sparked violet.

“Oh, right, you're a wizard or something.”

She frowned at him “Or something, yeah. I would have just used it on you, but it wasn't working.”

“Fancy that.” He stretched, fatigue suddenly settling onto him “So why are you here?”

She shifted a bit and said “Well, do you remember what I said at Fluttershy's cottage?”

Raj thought for a second, dredging up the old memory.“Yeah. You were going to try and figure out what I am and where I came from and... other stuff.”

“Right, and do you know what I managed to find out?”

“I do not.”

“Nothing!” she cried out “Absolutely nothing. I've ordered in books from the Canterlot archives, the Trottingham University of Science. I even got a hold of Vanila Trotsiferov's journals to see if anything like you was mentioned in them, but there was no information. More than a month of research, and I've learned nothing. As far as Equestrian zoological science is concerned, there has never been a near-hairless, bipedal, lingual vertebrate that match your description before now.”

“You haven't answered my question yet.”

“I'm here because, well, if there are no records of you anywhere in Equestria, it must be because nopony has ever seen a human before. Which means that you're an undiscovered species.” she said with a wide grin and a happy shuffle of her hooves. “Do you have any idea how exciting that is?”

Raj sighed and shook his head “I am not an animal Twilight.”

She rolled her eyes “Oh, I know. But that doesn't change that you are still very new to Equestria and we know very little about each other. We know nothing about where you came from, what you do, or, well, anything. And as Princess Celestia's prize student, I have a scholarly duty to fulfill this gap in Equestria's zoological knowledge.” The said with tangible pride.

Raj stared at her in silence for a moment before asking “So... what? You just want to hang out and watch me? For science?”

She nodded “I promise to be non-invasive. Just some academic observations, a good number of questions. It shouldn't even take that much of your time.”

He frowned “I don't know. I'm actually going to be pretty busy here soon. And the last time I welcomed ponies into my campsite I got my back shredded and ended up almost dying a bunch of times. Don't really want a repeat of that.”

She frowned “Oh please. I can take care of myself better than a bunch of little fillies. Nothing like that will happen with me.”

He stared at her for a second and shook his head “I don't think so. Run home little pony.”

Twilight scooted forward and simpered “But, think of all that there is to discover, all that could be learned. You're an undocumented facet of this world Rajrishi, a missing part of the puzzle. I can't let something like that slip by!” She pulled in a deep breath and said “So pleeeeaaasse let me study you?” with an eager grin and wide eyes.

Raj stared at her awkward posture and let out a weary chuckle. “No matter what I say, you're going to stick around here, aren't you?” She gave a sharp nod “Then how could I say no?”

“Great!” She smiled and her horn flared to life, summoning a pad of paper and a quill out of her saddlebag. “Let's get started. Please state your full name.” Silence was the only response and she looked over her notebook to see Raj lying down in the backseat of the car. “Rajrishi, what are you doing?”

“Sleeping, or trying to at least.” He answered, his elbow slung over his eyes.

“But it's not even noon yet.”

He lifted his arm and looked at her levelly “Twilight, I've been awake and running through the woods for the last thirty-six hours. I'm sore, tired, and I'm gonna have an even busier day tomorrow, so unless you're bleeding or on fire, leave me alone.”

She cocked an eyebrow and leaned her head into the cab “Thirty-six hours? Is that your typical daily cycle or is this out of the ordinary? Were you out marking new territory or were you searching for food? Or maybe-”

“Twilight.” Raj interrupted.

“Yes Rajrishi?”

“Buzz off.” he rolled over and didn't hear her reply through a haze of sleep.

* * *

The smell of fire woke him some time later.

He sat up with no small amount of alarm. He scanned around and saw his firepit crackling merrily, Twilight laying near it with her legs tucked under her. She was scribbling in her notebook with sharp focus. He yawned relief and twisted an audible crack out of his neck.

Twilight looked up “Oh, good, you're awake. How'd you sleep?”

“Lousy.” He slid out of the car and popped a few more of his joints. “How long was I out?”

“Four hours and thirty-seven minutes.”

“Oddly specific.” He rose up “What are you doing?”

“Taking notes about your habitat. I took a look around while you were asleep.” She presented her notebook to him, showing off illegible script and somewhat clumsy sketches of the devices around his camp. “I have some questions actually, if you're up for it.”

He went to the vine holding up his cooler and started lowering it. “Fine, but food.”

“Alright then.” She continued, shrugging off his primitive reply “How did you construct your dwelling? I don't think the material it's made of is native to the Everfree Forest.”

“It's not, I brought this thing here.” He jerked a thumb at his wrecked car.

Twilight's eyes widened “You carried that thing?”

“No, no. It... it used to move on its own. But it crashed months ago.”

“Oh, I see.” she stood up and trotted over to the crumpled vehicle. “This was a conveyance of some kind, like a covered carriage.”

He nodded “Yeah actually, a lot like that.”

“Great.” She scribbled a few more lines in her notebook. “What do you call it?”

“A car.”

Her quill stopped “A car? Really?”

“What?”

“Isn't that just short for carriage?”

Raj shrugged “I didn't name the thing. Blame Henry Ford.” To his amusement, she scribbled the name down in her notes.

“Okay, next question. What is that?” She pointed a hoof at the cooler he'd lowered to the ground.

“That's where I keep my food.” He yanked the vines from around the plastic box.

“Why do you keep it up in the air like that?”

“Keeps it safe from predators or scavengers. Learned that one the hard way.”

“What happened?”

“Couple months back these weird, hopping worm things tunneled up out of the ground and made off with all my food. Ugly things, whole face was just this nasty mouth of jagged teeth. I was scared to step out of my car for weeks after that.” He shivered at the memory.

Twilight's eyes narrowed in thought. “Those sound like K'nids, but they're scavengers. I've never heard of them stealing food from another creature or attacking on their own before.” She scribbled a few more lines of notes.

His brow furrowed and his voice took on a sour tone. “Glad to hear that Equestria makes exceptions when it comes to screwing with me.”

She rolled her eyes at him “I'm sure there's a reason for it. Maybe they didn't think you were a threat or something. But let's get back on topic. What are you keeping in there anyway?” She craned her neck over his shoulder as he crouched to open his cooler.

“Boar.” He swung the lid open, revealing packed layers of raw meat.

Twilight recoiled back, retching. “Oh dear Celestia.” A faint gurgle rose from her throat and she pressed the wall of her hoof against her mouth. “That's, *blag*, didn't think...” a visible shudder went up her spine.

Raj closed the cooler and looked at her evenly “You okay?”

She gagged and dry-heaved, her whole body wracking, but she managed to sputter out “Yeah, yeah I think I'm alright.” She coughed and dropped to her belly “I, ugh, I've never seen anything like, that before.” She shivered slightly.

He shrugged “I eat meat Twilight. I'm sorry if that offends you.”

She shook her head “It doesn't offend me. I've been smelling blood since I got here, so I figured there was something like that somewhere. I thought I'd prepared myself but, seeing it all laid out like that, preserved and stored away, was just too much. Even if it's a boar.”

Raj flipped open the lid “Well, this is the only food I have, so if you're going to freak out you may want to leave for twenty or so minutes.” he grabbed what was left of the thick tenderloin and jabbed it on the pike again.

She watched him set the meat over the flame and the color drained out of her cheeks. She gulped and stammered out “No, no, the nutritional behavior of any species or culture is an extremely important part of understanding them. I'll stay.” She focused and her quill and paper flew in front of her again. “Do you mind if I ask you some questions?”

“Go ahead.” He pulled one of his axes and hacked off a chunk of the tough meat. He started tearing into it with his bare hands like an animal.

Twilight blanched at the sight. She took a moment to suppress her gorge and asked “Is your entire diet meat, or do you supplement it with other foodstuffs?”

Raj swallowed and answered “Since I got back from Sweet Apple Acres, it's all I've had. Boar are all over the place, easy to catch and yield a lot. Too much in fact.” He held up a chunk of tenderloin “This stuff's already starting to go bad, I can taste it. This time tomorrow it won't be safe to eat. I'll have to get more soon.”

“Kill another boar you mean?”

He nodded “Yeah. I haven't been able to catch enough fish to live on and there's nothing else around here to eat. Nothing else I trust anyway.”

She cocked her head “But I walked past a good sized patch of daisies on my way here. Maybe a five minute walk away.”

Raj looked at her quizzically “Those are flowers Twilight.”

“I know that. They're good. I happen to love daisies.” She said matter-of-factually.

“I can't eat flowers Twilight. I'm not a pony.”

“Did you try?” She asked.

“Have you?” He held up a fistful of pork.

Twilight shuddered. “No, I haven't.”

“Imagine that.” He tossed the chunk of meat into the fire where it sizzled and popped. “Anything else?”

“Let's see.” her notebook fluttered in her horngrip. “Not many. Only about three-hundred or so.”

Raj blinked “Huh, you don't screw around, do you?”

She seemed to blush for a moment. “It's just the standard template for the registration of new species and cultures from the Canterlot Anthropology Society. All it hits on are what are considered the most relevant touchstones. It would be about twice that but I was able to answer some stuff after talking to Applejack and Fluttershy. I was hoping to run those by you anyway, to see if what I have already gels with what they gathered.” She scanned the page in front of her “Okay, question one, please state your full name.”

“I'm gonna stop you right there Twilight.” he held up a hand.

“Hmm? Is something wrong? Is a question like that taboo in your culture?” she asked, leaning forward.

“No, something else. First off, I just woke up and ate a big meal. I have to use the facilities, and before you ask me, no, you can't observe that to see how it works.”

“What?” She shook her head and stomped a hoof “I wasn't, just eww, okay. I wasn't going to ask that.”

“I bet. Secondly, I don't have time for that. There's stuff I need to do today, and most of tomorrow actually. This will need to be put off.”

“What?” She shot to her hooves “Why?”

“I have to move my camp and I need to get started. I'll be back in two days. Let's shoot for noon... ish. I don't have a clock.” He popped his trunk and started for his bag.

“Okay, well then I'll help, I can carry this whole camp with me if I need to. I'll need to know where your new home is anyway, and I can interview you as we go. Three goals, one action. Efficiency.”

Raj scoffed “I doubt that you'll be able to...” he trailed off as the entire contents of his trunk were wrapped in a violet glow and lifted out around him, settling into a lazy orbit around Twilight's similarly glowing horn. She smirked at him and he said “Alright, you're hired.”

She grinned widely “Awesome. Let's get going.”

“Hold up.” He walked up to her and plucked a roll of paper from her telekinesis “I'll be down by the river.”

Never Find Your Bones

Twilight dropped to the ground on her knees. Breathing heavily, she asked “Can we take a break please?”

Raj tossed a salty look at her over his shoulder, then said “Sure.”

She let out a sigh of relief and lowered the cloud of objects floating in the air to the ground. “Thank you.”

“It's fine. Water?” He held a bottle out to her.

“Yes please.” Raj tossed it to her. She snagged it in her horngrip and started gulping it down.

Raj watched her and shook his head “Never gonna get used to that.”

Twilight popped off the mouth of the bottle and let out a distinctly un-ladylike burp. She wiped a hoof across her mouth and said “Used to what?”

“That.” he pointed at the glowing bottle “That weird, floaty stuff. That's still freaky to me.”

She glanced at it and shrugged “It's just magic.”

Raj stared at her blankly for a long moment before replying “Right, just plain old, everyday magic. Nothing weird there.”

“Well, there isn't!” she replied, sounding indignant. “There's nothing unnatural about it. Everypony uses magic in some way Rajrishi, even if they don't realize it. Humans do too, I'm sure of it.”

He stared back at her with a concentrated scowl. “I don't know enough to argue that.”

“Well, if you did, then you would know there is no arguing such a fundamentally true fact. Everything channels manna in some way. It's completely normal.”

“You and I have a very different definition of what 'normal' is Twilight.” he said mildly.

She gave him a wry look and said “Alright, well, what is normal? Walk me through what a normal day is for Rajrishi. Go ahead.”

Raj lowered his head, face going blank in thought. After a few moments of consideration he sighed and slid to a sit against a tree. “I haven't had a normal day in almost six months.”

Twilight leaned forward, suddenly curious and summoned her pad and quill from her saddlebag “Is that how long you've been here in Equestria?”

“Yeah. Just five days shy of half a year by my measure.”

“Wow, that's, that's a lot of time.” she replied as her quill danced across the page.

“You're telling me.” He idly flicked at a pebble on the ground. “How much did Applejack tell you?”

“Not a lot. She wanted to preserve your privacy. Just that you are trying to get back to your family.”

“Is that all?”

“Pretty much.”

“Well, she was telling you the truth. I've been trying to get back home ever since I came to Equestria.”

Twilight nodded “Okay, and have you made any progress?”

“Up until recently, no.” an unwilling smile crept onto his face “I... I think I found my way home.”

“That's great news Rajrishi! I'm happy for you.” She smiled “Is that where we're going now? Will I be able to see where you come from?”

“Not... not exactly. I don't think it works like that, or maybe it does, I really have no idea.”

She tilted her head “What?”

He rubbed the back of his head and shrugged “It's, well, it's difficult to explain. I think it would be better if I show you. You might understand it better than me.”

She licked her teeth in thought. Twilight clearly had more to ask, but relented. “Alright, I suppose that will work.”

Raj stood up. “Good. C'mon, we need to keep going if we want to make it there by dark.”

“How much further is it to this... place?”

Raj ran his hand over one of his trail markers “Far.”

* * *

The rest of the trip passed in reasonable silence, save the occasional thoughtful hum or mumbled question from Twilight. Raj kept moving, driving a rough pace that left the unicorn breathless.

They didn't make it there before dark. Not even close. It was long after the sun had retired and the stars had come out for the evening that the glow of the new Arch came into view.

Raj smiled and jabbed the butt of his staff into the ground “Well, there it is Twilight.”

Twilight limped up to him and wheezed “Where's what?”

He pointed “That. C'mon, I'll show you.” He broke into a run towards it. Twilight groaned and followed after.

As he got closer, he felt a strong grin tug at his lips, the hope he'd found the previous visit returning in a giddy swell. A bounce entered his step as he started sweeping a patch of ground clear for the glowing baggage Twilight was schlepping in.

The purple unicorn lowered the goods onto the patch while staring at the glowing tree, a curious look on her face. “Rajrishi, what is that?”

“The Arch, another one at least. It took me a month and a half of searching, but I finally found another one.”

“Another one?” She questioned.

“Yeah, there was one of these back at my old camp, but it got destroyed by a chupacabra. Since then I've been looking for another one.”

“Are these trees important to you? Are they of some sort of cultural significance or...” she trailed off, leaving the question hanging.

He shook his head “No, no, nothing like that. They're important to me. I think that they can take me home.”

“But... it's a tree.” she pointed out, not comprehending.

Raj hesitated, unsure what to tell her. After a few seconds tossed aside caution and told her “Twilight, I came here, to Equestria, through one of these trees almost six months ago.”

Twilight's eyebrow slowly crept up her forehead. “Oookay.” She took a step forward “Rajrishi, are you feeling okay? Have you had enough water today? Or maybe you ate some unknown plant matter and its having an adverse effect on-”

“What? No, I'm not crazy. Shutup. Just look.” He said back, exasperated “I'm not crazy, okay. The archway back at my camp, the same kind as this tree,” he pointed at the curving plant “brought me to Equestria. I don't know how and I don't know why, but as far as I know this tree is the only way I can get back home.”

Twilight absorbed that and clearly had some choice things to say about it, but her better nature kept her quiet. Instead she just gave him a level look while her quill scratched across the surface of her notebook.

“I'm not crazy.” he reiterated.

“Right. Okay, so this glowing, arched tree is able to transport you home. Let's assume I believe that, what next? What are you going to do, what's your plan?”

“Simple. I'm going to wait near it until it activates and then I'll go through it and back home.”

Twilight Sparkle was silent for a good minute before she flatly said “That is an awful plan.”

“Nobody asked you.” he sneered.

Twilight opened her mouth to say something back but bit it off when she heard the whisper of something sliding down a tree off to their side. Raj picked it up as well and turned to the sound, his hands falling onto his axes.

The biggest damn snake Raj had ever seen slithered out of the brush, easily forty feet long and thicker than his waist. Its scales were pure white, white enough he was inwardly upset he hadn't noticed the thing earlier, save a patch of black on the back of its wide hood in the shape of a splayed hand. Instead of a short snout, it had a flatter, more humanoid face that was devoid of expression. Its eyes were a brilliant green and wholly ophidian, with four more on each side that trailed up along the rim of its wide and opened hood. All ten of them stared at Raj intently as it reared up to head height and coiled most of its bulk underneath itself.

As unsettling as Raj found the creature, it was infinitely more-so when it gave a slight bow and said in a clear, though slightly british, female voice “Greetings to my erstwhile kin.”

“...what?”

It laughed, the expression made menacing by the hooked fangs lining its upper jaw, and said “My presence is understandably surprising, I'm sure. Know that I mean no harm, I come simply to visit my new neighbor and offer congratulations on such a fine catch.”

“Um, catch?”

“Indeed, it has been many moons since I've seen a pony this deep in the wood, and in such fine condition.” It tilted its head towards Twilight and smiled lightly.

Ever since the snake had slithered out of the bush, Twilight hadn't moved a muscle. She stood stock still, not even her ears flicking or laying back as she kept her eyes locked on the snake-creature before her. With the attention drawn to her, she quietly stammered out “N-n-naga... it's a naga.”

“Twilight?”

She took shelter behind Raj, but her eyes never left the snake in front of her. She pleaded with him “Rajrishi, we have to go. We have to go right now.”

The naga laughed again, heartily this time. “It seems my presence has spoiled your quarry brother. A pity, she was so at ease, so relaxed. Now her heartbeat thunders through her hooves like a herd of buffalo. You have my apologies.”

“What are you talking about?” he asked at the creature uncoiled and slithered in a lazy circle around him, maintaining her distance from the pair.

“Whatever trick or spell you laid on her to lure her this deep into the woods seems to have broken. A shame too, I hate to play spoiler to a hunt so fine it captured a grown unicorn. Dirt ponies are easy to catch, as long as your fast and get them alone. They taste plain but the meat with keep you going for days. Pegasi, however, are utterly delicious, but snatching them from the sky can be problematic.”

“And Unicorns?” Raj asked as he shielded Twilight behind him.

“I don't know, I've never had the... pleasure.” Her tongue whipped at the air and all of her eyes narrowed on Twilight's shivering form.

“Well, keep dreaming.”

“Oh, ho ho, want her all for yourself, do you?” She laughed, slithering a bit closer. “I don't blame you. If I had such a prize I would be loath to share as well. It is tempting though...”

Twilight let out a fearful whine and pressed herself against the back of his legs. Raj sneered at the snake and threatened “Don't even think about it.”

“Perish the thought!” scoffed the Naga “To steal a rightfully won feast from kin is an abomination. You insult me brother.”

Raj sneered “Don't remember being related to any snakes.”

The Naga cocked her head and slithered within arms reach, close enough for Raj to smell the ozone tang of her breath. She smiled “And I don't recall being related to any brown soft things either, but you have the right hands and I can smell Briarus' ire in your blood. That is proof enough.”

Raj looked down at his black stained hands. “I have no idea what you're talking about.”

“Then we have much to discuss still, but there will be time for that. I have tarried here too long and kept you from your fairly won repast. Partake and leave the offal under a tree, if you would please. I will find it once notes of rot have entered the meat. I find that it tenderizes Equine flesh most wonderfully.”

The Naga turned and started to slither away. Raj let out a breath and looked down at Twilight. She stared up at him fearfully, her eyes dilated wide enough for a finger to fit in her pupil. He shook his head at her and whispered “Don't worry Twilight, nobody is going to eat you.”

A rasping chuckle came from the huge snake and it turned so half of its eyes could watch Raj “Still you maintain the illusion? There's playing with prey brother, and then there's just cruelty.”

“I'm not playing. I didn't bring her here to hurt her.”

“Why then?” she asked.

“None of your business.”

“Foolishness.” she spat.

“Whatever.”

She pulled her bulk underneath herself, coiling like a spring. “Well, if you do not claim her then perhaps I shall-”

His ax was out in flash, reflecting the faint light of the Arch. “Don't even think about it scaly. You lay even one coil on her and I will turn you into a pair of boots and a matching jacket. Understand?”

The Naga hissed and recoiled, eyes narrowing “I came to appeal to you as kin and neighbors and you meet me with threats!”

“Yeah, I do. Get over it.” He rested his free hand on the other holstered ax “Now me and Twilight are leaving. Don't follow us and don't be here when I get back.”

The Naga writhed and flicked her tongue at the air, but said nothing more. Raj took a few backward steps away, Twilight pressing herself against his leg urgently. Once a bit of distance was made between them Raj turned about and started back into the forest.

Twilight tugged at his pants and looked up at him urgently. “Rajrishi you have no idea how close that was.”

“Later Twilight. Talk about it later.”

“That was a Naga, a Naga! I thought they were all extinct, they should be extinct. I need to write a letter, notify the Royal Guard and-”

She was cut off by the Naga shouting after them “No worries my friend, I'll prepare your new home for you while you are away. Clear the brush, bring water, I'll even be rid of this unsightly tree you seemed so put off by!”

Raj stopped dead and slowly turned. With restrained malice, he asked “What?”

“This Arch, this glowing tree,” she gestured with her nose “Quite unsightly, isn't it? A fine place to warm oneself during the cold months sure, but there are better places. Maybe I should be rid of it while you are away? Poison its core and tear up its roots? It would be a nicer clearing without it, I think.”

Raj grit his teeth together “Don't you dare you disgusting beast.”

“So insulting, so demanding! I have half a mind to crush your torso in your sleep, but I am a mannered creature.” She bowed her head, feigning humility “You may have one demand of me, brother. I will leave your unicorn be, or I will leave this tree be, but I cannot do both. I simply cannot.” She smirked, showing fangs.

Twilight whispered at his side “Please, just leave Rajrishi. It's not worth it, it's not worth it.” She glanced at the writhing beast, limned in pale light, and shivered with fear.

He growled at the snake “You don't know what you're doing.”

She chuckled “I most certainly do. Now then, your answer?”

Raj adjusted his grip on his ax, clenching tight enough to make his cuticles bleed. “Twilight?”

“Please, please just go Rajrishi, let's just leave.” pleaded Twilight.

“Stay here, protect yourself. Run if you have to.” He slid the other Apple Ax from its sling.

He then broke into a wild charge, screaming rage all the while.

Slitherscale

The Naga was, to say the least, quite surprised at this turn of events.

That surprise let Raj close the distance and chop an ax into her tail, the whole head sinking through her ivory scales. She let out a bloodcurdling scream of agony and squirmed, slapping him in the stomach with a flex of her muscular body that set him back a step. It shouted at him “Bastard! Miserable, simian bastard!”

Raj chose not to respond and dashed forward, closing on the Naga again. The creature slithered back, still facing him, but writhing its body into a gray blur as it ate up ground to get away from him. Raj chased after, swiping at the waving tail when he managed to get near enough.

The Naga went low into a knot of bushes and slithered out of sight. Rather than wade through it, Raj jinked to the side and ran along it, scanning the dense foliage for flashes of white.

A quick flash of eye-shine alerted him and he twitched his legs, launching himself high. The long serpent sailed from the bush, scales painted a polished black. The Naga sailed underneath him and struck the ground with a soft rustle.

Raj twisted in midair, trying to bring his feet underneath him. He managed it just barely and hit the ground in a slide, dropping to a knee when he knocked against a root.

He caught dim light reflecting off of something glossy and something hard and unyielding slapped him in the face. He let out a pained bark and went flying. He hit a tree chest first and bounced off before falling to the ground in a heap.

His eyes fluttered open to see a black mass descending on him. On instinct he rolled, narrowly evading the Naga's descending tail. The heavy mass slammed the ground hard enough to blast a wave of grit and dust his way.

Raj sprang up and ducked out of the way of the tail's backstroke narrowly enough he felt the edges of the scales catch on his hair. He tracked it back to the main mass of snake some fifteen feet away. He grinned and set himself. The color change threw him for a minute, but he could follow it now.

The Naga hissed and swayed, uncoiling it's tail from where it sat. The wholeness of it wobbled as it lashed out again, whip-crack fast.

Raj followed it and slashed out with his axes in a wide cross, slicing through meat and bone. Hot blood splashed across him and a sizable weight thudded into his stomach. At his feet lay a two-foot section of the Naga's tail.

“My tail!” The creature awakened the night with an earsplitting howl, the stump of her tail gushing blood. She held it in front of her face for a moment and glared mad anger at Rajrishi. “You ruined my tail you barbaric simian!”

Raj replied “Yup.”

The Naga blinked and shook with rage, her scales flickering a deep red for a moment. She writhed and flashed her stump of a tail at Rajrishi in an unfolding thrust.

Raj caught the attack with another of his own and swung down, burying the heads of his axes in her flesh. Before he could draw them out to strike again, the Naga violently pulled her tail back hauling Raj into the air by his axes. Raj let out a short scream as the Naga swung him to the side and flicked her tail, causing Raj to snap out wide and the straps connecting him to his axes to break, sending him spinning into the trunk of an oak tree.

He let out a pitiless groan, forcing himself up to his feet. He rubbed at his sore wrists, astounded that they hadn't broken from being flailed around like that. He looked at the Naga to see it his axes still embedded in its stump. He groused to himself “I have got to stop doing that.”

The Naga bit the axes from her tail and flicked them away into the underbrush. She let out a hissing laugh. “What can you do without your toys?”

Raj raised his guard “Come and find out.”

The Naga opened its mouth, the edges splitting beyond her cheeks until she showed a fanged maw large enough to swallow a beach ball. As fast as thought, she launched herself at Rajrishi, mouth wide and fangs gleaming.

Through some miracle of adrenaline he managed to bring his hands up to guard, catching her jaws in his palms between the knife-like fangs. He leaned back, straining and grunting against the Naga's power. Her tongue darted out and slathered his face in drool as droplets of silver venom leaked onto his chest from fangs as long as his forearm.

Before he could do anything, coils of her body encircled his legs. Swearing, he struggled against it while holding her mouth at bay but she simply readjusted to his efforts. In a moment she was up to his stomach and with a sudden painful squeeze he felt the breath seize from his lungs. A wet chuckle bubbled from her throat as he felt his strength start to fail and her mouth inched closer.

A pencil thick beam of brilliant fire lanced in and burned a jagged line across the side of her head, the scales along it burning into a mottled green. The Naga shrieked madly, writhing and shaking. Raj released her lower jaw and struck upwards, punching her in the roof of her mouth. Her eyes bulged wide from the sudden pain and she uncoiled herself violently, sending Rajrishi spinning away.

Rajrishi hit the ground hard and skidded. He sucked air greedily and rose, hands up and ready. He scanned around and saw the bloody tip of a tail escaping into a hedge and cursed.

A burst of light occurred and a purple unicorn materialized next to him. She looked up at him and asked “Are you okay?”

Like many things Rajrishi had run into in his time in Equestria, he decided to to question it. “I'm fine. That fire was you?”

She nodded “Yeah, basic Searing Ray spell. Here, you dropped this.” she floated one of his dropped axes over to him.

Raj grabbed it from the air. “Thanks. Not sure how useful it'll be, she seemed more annoyed when I cut her tail off than anything else.”

“Naga can regenerate. Anything that doesn't kill them will heal pretty quickly. Except for fire that is.”

“Great. Anything else?”

“They're Chameleochromatic. They can change their hue at will.”

“I think I figured that one out already. I can't follow it any distance because I keep losing track of it. The thing's the size of a house, it shouldn't be able to do that.”

“I have an idea. Hold on.” Light flared over Twilight's horn and she closed her eyes, humming in concentration. Energy gathered and burst out in smoking flares that hung in the air, casting light across a wide area.

“Better.” He said back quickly.

They heard the whisper of scales on foliage nearby and turned to it in time to see a glossy black shape diving at them. Raj jumped on reflex, but the Naga wasn't going for him, it was after Twilight. The little pony realized it at the last second and focused, disappearing in another flash of light. The Naga dove through the area she previously occupied and crashed into the base of a maple tree. Twilight reappeared and instant later and fired a flurry of flaming streaks that alighted her hide and set her into pained screams. Her many eyes settled on Twilight and she reared back to strike.

Raj bounced off a foot and dove at her exposed back, hacking his ax through her hood and hooking on her flesh. Raj looped an arm around her mass, clenching under her mouth and squeezing to close her airway. The Naga started flailing madly, her whole body going into a blurry writhe.

Twilight sparked her horn and continued firing lances of flame. “Hold her still! I can't get a shot.” She shouted.

“Trying!” He yelled back, his voice pitching with chaotic motion. He curled his legs around her body to stay attached and kept squeezing, intent on strangling the snake. The Naga let out pained gasps and hisses in an effort to fight for breath even as she slithered and writhed to avoid Twilight's fire.

The purple pony was too focused however, and didn't see the Naga's mutilated tail sweep in at her until the very last instant. She tried to gather the energy for a teleport but lost the spell when the tail slammed into her broadside. She let out a squeak of pain and flew into the thicket.

“Twilight!” yelled Raj as he watched the purple pony sail off. Growling, he reared back his ax and swung again, chopping into her hood and obliterating her outermost eye. The Naga let out a high-pitched yowl as loud as it was able and started to thrash. In her flailing, she smacked Raj against the trunk of a tree hard enough for him to cry out.

That gave her an idea. The Naga shivered, reared up, and then swung backwards to slam the back of its hood into the ground. Raj let out a scream of pain as he was crushed into the dirt and his arms went limp. The Naga pulled itself out of his grip and turned around, coiling her bulk under herself again. Before Raj could manage to stand the Naga whipped forward, maw wide and fangs bared.

Raj brought his arms up to defend, ax held out. A purple flash scoured his vision and Twilight appeared over him, his head sitting between her forelegs. A warning was forming on his lips when her horn flared brilliantly and the two of them were covered in a dome of violet light.

The Naga couldn't have stopped itself even if it wanted to. It sailed into the shield with enough force the tips of its fangs punched through the dome and hooked on the magical construct. Reflex took over and the rest of the snake's body swung in and wrapped around the dome, trying to constrict it. The coils pressed into it, but the magic held strong as the Naga tried to pull its mouth free from the dome.

Rajrishi looked around at the patternless scales and the gross anatomy of the Naga's mouth pressing into the dome in a kind of haze, not really sure what he was looking at. Over him, Twilight set her hooves and closed her eyes, more energy flowing into and through her horn.

“Never come back.” She whispered, her voice echoing oddly. “Never.”

Her eyes flashed white as the shield evaporated and a swirling mass of lavender light blasted from her horn. The Naga was struck and dragged up by it, pulled through the canopy and carried along a blazing comet of arcane energy off into the sky, shrieking and spitting all the while. The last thing Raj saw of it was a twinkling light disappearing over the horizon.

Twilight shook her head and settled back on her haunches. “Whoo, that was harder than I expected. Took way more out of me.” She blew at the smoke curling off of her horn. “Are you okay Rajrishi?”

He didn't answer her. He just stared at the hole that was now punched in the roof over the forest.

“Rajrishi?” she shook his arm. “Are you...”

Raj started, suddenly forced back into awareness, and sat up “Yeah, yeah I'm fine. That was, that was something else. How...?”

“Magister Sunspot's Arc Wave spell and a basic Bubble Dome over both of us. I added the Geoform Principle to the dome for a little more tensile strength and I amped them both up pretty heavily, to be honest. Still, I was not expecting its fangs to punch through like that. I guess I was more worn out than I expected.” She laughed at little.

“That... that was incredible, right? Not all unicorns can do that?

She cocked her head. "Um, no I don't think they could."

"Glad I had you with me then. I don't think I would have managed without you.”

Twilight looked away, suddenly abashed “You'd have figured something out, I'm sure. Heck, you wouldn't have even gotten into a fight if I wasn't here. The thing wanted to eat me, remember?”

“I don't think I have it in me to be on good terms with something that seems to like eating ponies that much. We would have come to blows eventually, and I'm glad you were here to help.”

“Well, um, your welcome Rajrishi.” She smiled “I hope this means you'll answer a few more of questions?”

Raj laughed “Sure, but let's check on the Arch first. Then I'll tell you whatever you want.” He started toward it and made it about ten steps before he was struck by a sudden vertigo and his balance left him. He slumped to the side, leaning heavily into a tree.

“Rajrishi?” she trotted to his side “What's wrong, are you okay?”

“Fine, just, just coming down from a combat high. Happens all the time.” He palmed his skull and blinked rapidly. “Just need to walk it-” he was interrupted by a sudden need to void his stomach on the forest floor.

“Ugh!” Twilight danced back, her horn sparking a light over them both. “What's wrong?”

Raj finished his messy emesis and sat there, recuperating for a moment. He held up a hand and said “Okay, that was unexpected, I'll admit, but I think-” he was interrupted again by a sudden stream of vomit that refused to cease.

Twilight's expression went grave. “Rajrishi, did the Naga bite you? Bite you at all?”

He wiped with mouth with his wrist and made a few unpleasant groans before muttering back. “No, she didn't.”

“Did any get on you, or exposed to any open cuts? Think hard.”

Raj leaned back. “No, but she dripped some onto my chest.” He looked down at the crisscross of thin scratches on his torso and the thin, metallic glaze covering them. “...oh.”

Twilight's eyes widened “No.” she grabbed at bottle from the pile of possessions in her horngrip and tore the water out of it, forming into into a funnel and started pressure washing his cuts. He leaned back, letting her work and tried to fight down the need to vomit for a third time. Once he was clean Twilight darted forward and spread open one of his cuts, shining her light and peering into it. She froze and backed away, murmuring “No, no, no, no...”

“Twilight, what's wrong?”

“Naga venom. Really dangerous.”

“Venom? Fine, is there an antidote or anything? Maybe some spell?”

“A spell? Right, yes, of course!” Her horn flare and a pulse of magic traveled into his chest.

He jolted with it and clutched to himself, groaning. “Is that, is that supposed to happen?”

Her face fell “It must've fully catalyzed in your bloodstream by now, adrenaline blocked the initial effects but probably heightened the circulation. Nothing to suction out, nothing to amputate...” She started rambling, her gaze somewhere far away.

“Twilight, what's going to happen to me?” Raj asked gravely.

Twilight Sparkle bit her lip and looked him straight on, eyes brimming with tears. “You're going to die.”

Never Die for Nothing

Many hours later, Raj sat up with a groan.

He clutched his head and shook it, fighting down a strong sense of vertigo. His skin was clammy and damp and his clothes clung tightly to his frame. He felt so dehydrated his tongue was stuck to the roof of his mouth.

Across the sputtering fire he saw Twilight curled up on the ground, drooling onto the dirt and snoring lightly. Her tail twitched and lashed in her sleep and she murmured unintelligible words. He spotted a few of his water bottles stacked up next to her and lightly padded over to collect one.

As soon as the water hit his tongue he moaned in relief as he tiptoed away from Twilight. Once he was away, he took care of a pressing biological need and then sauntered back to the camp. He sat on a rock and assessed.

It was still very much night, so not much time could had passed. He didn't feel great, that much was certain. The hits he'd taken during the fight still ached, but no terribly so. He still felt sick, like he was coming off of a particularly bad flu, but was hungry and thirsty as well. Once he got some substantial food and more water, he knew he'd feel right as rain.

Naga venom was nothing special, he decided.

He went over to his haphazard pile of possessions Twilight had schlepped to his camp and rooted around for his cooler, extracting a hock of meat wrapped in leaves. He warmed it over the fire for a minute and tore into it with purpose.

His thuggish chewing and biting was enough to wake Twilight however. She cracked one of her enormous eyes thinly and groggily said “Nnnnh, Rajrishi?”

“Hey Twilight, sorry I woke you. Too hungry.” he tore another hunk from his pork.

She rose up slowly, sputtering “But, how are you, you were over there and, but... HOW?”

“Whoa, calm down Twilight. I was just unconscious for a night, no big deal.” He grinned “I guess Naga venom's not all it's cracked up to be.”

She stared at him for a moment, one eye twitching “Rajrishi, first of all, Naga venom is definitely all it's cracked up to be. A single drop of it can kill a full-grown earth pony in minutes. A single bite is said to have endangered the life of Princess Celestia's father for pony's sake!”

Twilight grit her teeth at him for a moment before adding “Oh, and you weren't unconscious for a few hours. You've been lying there for the last three days!”

Raj's eyebrows shot up his forehead “W-what?”

“Three days Rajrishi, well actually a little over seventy hours unless I'm off, that's how long you were out."

"What with the what now?"

“You passed out after vomiting a lot so I dragged you against that tree and made a little bed so that you'd be comfortable when you... when you...” She choked back a sob “But then you didn't! You just kept breathing! I didn't understand it, so I just, did. I noticed you were sweating a lot so I thought 'hey, he'll need some water' so I just started bringing you water. Then I thought 'he'll need food too', so I started gathering pine nuts and force-feeding them to you...”

It was halfway through her rambling explanation when Rajrishi took his first good look at Twilight Sparkle. She looked terrible. Twigs were poking out of her mane and tail at random points and her coat was either matted down from lack of grooming or completely obscured with mud or dirt. Heavy bags hung under he bloodshot eyes and he realized that he'd woken her up from the first rest she'd gotten since the Naga fight. “Twilight, how did you-”

She talked over him “...I didn't have a plan or anything. I tried to go for help but there were timberwolves and I couldn't leave you alone. I didn't think I could get back here even if I did so I just kept... stringing you along because there was nothing else I could do.”

“That's... wow.” Raj sat stunned, completely struck by the enormity of the task that Twilight had simply taken to without complaint or prompting. “I can't even imagine how difficult that was Twilight. Thank you.”

She gave him a tired smile “Your welcome Rajrishi. I'm glad you're okay, but I would like to know how you managed it?”

“Managed what?”

“To survive. I told you, Naga venom is incredibly deadly. Not even other Nagas are immune to it. So there must have been some trick or anti-toxin you took. What is it?”

“No trick Twilight. I got poisoned and then sweated it out over a couple days. I didn't do anything.”

“I don't believe that. Nothing has a natural resistance to Naga Venom, nothing natural anyway.”

Raj looked at her levelly “Well, I might have an explanation.”

She rolled her eyes “Of course, now tell me. If we can duplicate it then we could save a lot of ponies.”

“Well, not really. I think I managed it because I'm... not from here.” He said lamely.

“I know that Rajrishi. You came from outside Equestria.”

He scratched the back of his head “Well... that's, um, true. But not really accurate.”

She raised an eyebrow “So you're from... where? Yakyakistan, or maybe Zebrica?”

“Further.”

“The Scorched Lands, or did you come all the way from The Echo?”

“Further still.”

“Rajrishi, there is nowhere further than that. At that point you start looping back around the globe.”

He looked her in the eye “Further.”

Twilight huffed and said flatly “Rajrishi, you can't get any further than that. Well, unless you come from-.” She stopped abruptly.

Rajrishi stared back at her levelly, saying nothing.

Twilight faltered a bit “R-right? That's impossible, right?”

Raj sighed “The first thing I noticed when I got here, the very first thing, was a sky full of unknown stars. A few hours later a foreign sun rose on the horizon. Even the air feels different than what I'm used to. It's... thicker. Charged with something, I'm not sure what, but it's unfamiliar to me all the same. I guess whatever it is that makes Naga Venom so lethal doesn't translate.”

Twilight stared at him for a long moment, her eyes stretched wide. After almost a minute of silence she murmured “Rajrishi, are you-” She paused and took a breath, re-composing herself. “Alright, just to make absolute certain. You are claiming to be a previously unknown extraequestrial creature, hailing from a foreign world?”

He huffed and braced himself “I am.”

She stood in silence for a few moments before shouting “That is AMAZING!” A massive grin split her muzzle and she danced in place before rearing up and clapping her hooves in excitement, her previous tiredness gone in an instant. “You're an alien, you're an alien! Do you have any idea what this means?”

“I, um-” The rest of his sentence was lost when Twilight darted forward and grabbed his head, pulling him down to her eye level

“I'm not just going to get published again, I'm going to be able to write a whole book on this. There will be theses, and interns, and scientists. I might even get a wing in the Canterlot archive with my name on it. Me, a whole wing!”

Raj grabbed her hoof and pulled himself free “Twilight, I think-”

“Right! You're right, I need to handle this carefully. There's a procedure for this, a way to do things. I can't risk someone sniping my find.” She focused her horn and her quill started madly scratching across her notebook. “I need to maintain a detailed record, this is history in the making. First contact! Future generations will read about this forever.”

“Twilight, this isn't first contact. I met Zecora on my thirty-third day here.” he pointed out.

The lavender pony was not listening. “I'll need to contact the Princess, notify her of your existence. Then I'll need to write Professor Borealis, inform the Equestrian Bureau of Zoology of this development. I'll need to get a team of doctors to assemble a biological study, no, I can use the machines in the basement for that. Spike can build a documentation set for photography, but I'll need to send for a aetherscope to get an internal scan. I wonder if my old chemistry set can do a specto-analysis of the materials the ship is made of. No, no, that I will definitely need to have done professionally. Maybe I should dig out that book on Hekatonkheire, figure out what the Naga was talking about. Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, such a great find!” she hummed, her voice going thin.

“Twilight.”

“Yes?”

“Breathe.”

She sucked in an exaggerated pull of air and slumped down. “Heh, heh, sorry. I got, kind of carried away there.”

“It's fine. Your handling this way better than I did.”

Her ears perked up. “Oh, right. You must have gone through the same thing I am right now. Tell me, are we Ponies what you were expecting?”

“Hell no.” He said, arms crossed “Never in a million years did I think that the first aliens mankind would make contact with would be tiny horses.”

“Subject... replied... hell no.” She scribbled in her notes and looked up. “So, if we aren't what you were expecting, then why did you come here? Are you an ambassador, an explorer? Or, ooooh, are you an invader? Are you here to conquer us?” She asked with an unsettling amount of enthusiasm.

He leered back “What? No, I'm not, none of that. None of that is true. I came here on accident.”

She raised and eyebrow “Did your ship crash?”

“My ship? What are you talking about? I don't have a ship.”

“What about that metal thing back at your old camp?”

“That's a car Twilight. It's a ground vehicle. It can't fly, much less go into space.” He explained, suddenly annoyed.

“Then how did you get here?”

“I told you already, that.” he pointed a thumb at the glowing arch a short distance away. “The Arch back at my camp brought me here without my knowledge or consent.”

“Really? How?” she asked again.

He gave her a sharp glare for a moment and then softened.“I don't know Twilight. That's half the reason I've kept this to myself. I have no explanation for how I came to Equestria. One moment I was driving back home late at night in the middle of winter, I saw a column of green light, and then I was bouncing my way across a forest floor. I crashed into a tree and when I came to I was... here.” He gestured around at the dark forest.

“And you think a glowing tree did it?” she asked, eyebrow raised.

“Stop saying it like that, I'm not crazy. The one back at my camp was glowing bright and hot to the touch for days afterward, so it did something. Do you have any better ideas?”

“Maybe.” She slowly rose up, the day's fatigue seeping back in as she came down from her bout of academic exuberance. “I've heard of natural magical phenomena that can generate some potent effects. Let me take a look.” She started trotting over to the Arch.

“Be careful. It took me weeks to find that thing. I don't know if there are any others in the whole Everfree.”

“I'll be gentle, I promise.” She placed a hoof against the bark and focused a spell into her horn. She pulled back and said “I'm picking up a low level magical aura, but nothing that would suggest what you described.”

“Great.” he replied “That's excellent news.”

She shot him a scathing look “Rajrishi, don't be snide. All that means is that it isn't doing... whatever the other one did right now.” she huffed “Were you really going to just wait by this thing until it activated again?”

“Yeah, that was the plan.”

“That's... not a great plan.” She said, biting her lip.

“You can say it Twilight. It was a dumb idea.”

She looked away for a moment before laughing helplessly and saying “Yeah, yeah it is. I mean, what if it didn't activate again, what would you do?”

“Probably die.” He replied flatly.

Twilight blinked “Okay, why didn't you ask for help before now? You've been in these woods for months now why didn't you think to ask anypony to help you?”

“I didn't...” he sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose “Okay, you're going to think this is really stupid but I... I didn't think anyone would believe me, and even if they did, they wouldn't want to help me.”

"What? That's ridiculous. Ponies help each other."

"Maybe, but I'm not a pony. I'm very much not a pony. At first I didn't know how anyone would react to me, and then later I didn't think anyone would take me seriously if I claimed to be an alien. At best, I thought I would be ignored. The only reason I told you is because you saved my life after I attacked that Naga like a moron." He shrugged “I, look, it was a dumb mistake. I should have gotten help long ago. I know that now, I didn't then. Can we leave it at that?”

She shrugged “Sure, if you don't want to talk about it we can come back around to it. For now though, I think I can help you with these magic trees.”

“Wait, what? You can? You can send me home?” He asked, hope giving a tremor to his voice

Twilight held up a hoof “Maybe. What you described would have to be an immensely powerful spell to affect travel over interstellar distances. I don't have access to even a fraction of the energy needed to pull that off, but if it was a naturally occurring spell-effect then I should be able to figure out how it happened and if it will happen again. If it will, then I should be able to figure out exactly when, maybe even speed it up.”

“Okay, what do I need to do? Whatever it is I will do it, just tell me.” He said intensely.

“First thing's first, we need to get back to my library. I have notes I need to catalog, then I can get started on this new problem.” A yawn forced its way through her mouth. “Actually, scratch that. First thing's first, I need to get some sleep. Magic can only keep a pony going so long.”

Raj let out a calming breath. “Okay fine, go ahead. I'll take care of things. We can get going at sunup.”

Twilight looped in a circled and laid down under the glow of the Arch “Hee hee, this is so exciting, I don't know if I'll even...” She was snoring before she even got the sentence out.

He made his way back to the fire and finished his pork with a happy grin on his face.

Author's Note

Oh my god, writing Twilight Sparkle is so much fun. Why didn't anyone tell me?

Respect the Scales

“Alright, take a deep breath and let it out slowly.”

Raj complied, shivering a bit at contact with the cold disc of the stethoscope. “Again?”

“Please.”

Raj repeated the action while Twilight hummed, nodding slightly to herself. She pulled the buds out of her ears and said “Well, your lungs sound normal as far as I can tell. No crackling, good inflation. There doesn't seem to be any lingering effects of the poison in your system and the other injuries you've sustained appear to be healing on their own. Now, I don't have the tools needed to test your blood, but from my observations and your own testimony, I feel comfortable giving you a clean bill of health.”

“Good. I'm just glad you didn't have me turn my head and cough.”

She furrowed her brow “Is that a procedure where you're from? Is it important, should I do it?”

“No no, that's fine. You don't- no, it's okay.” He replied with a sheepish smile. “So what is all this stuff anyway? Kinda looks like a mad scientist lab down here.” He gestured at the assemblage of vaguely-scientific equipment scattered around the basement.”

“Well, I don't know about 'mad' exactly, but it's used for measuring aetheric fields and tracking astronomical movements. I still have a few tools left over from when I was trying to make sense of Pinkie Pie.” She nudged a hoof against a colander dressed with wires.

“Is that a name, Pinkie Pie?”

“Yeah, she's... well, I'm sure you'll meet her eventually. Well, I don't know about you, but I'm starving. Let's get some breakfast, then we can dig into some studying.” She started up the steps to the rest of the library.

They entered onto the first floor and saw a scaly, purple creature standing on a chair at the kitchen table. Twilight smiled “Oh, hi Spike. I didn't hear you come in.”

Spike snapped his gaze at Twilight and his eyes widened. “Twilight, you're back!” shouted the little purple creature, his tail sweeping back and forth.

“Of course I am. What did you-OOF!” She staggered back as the small lizard leaped up and wrapped her neck in a tight hug. “Spike, what's-”

“I was so worried! What happened?” He looked up at her to see her tense and gasping for air.

Twilight lowered him to the ground where he obligingly peeled himself off her neck. She coughed lightly and said “Nothing happened Spike. Well, that's not true, some unexpected things did happen, but nothing I couldn't handle. Sorry if you were worried.”

His concern melted into and angry scowl “But... you were gone for three days! I went looking for you, I talked to everypony in town!”

Twilight simpered “I left a note.” She floated a slip of paper off of the refrigerator over to them.

“All this says is 'Left for research. Hayfries are in the oven.' This doesn't help.” He dropped the page and gave her a sharp glare. “I thought something serious had happened. I was about to send a message to Princess Celestia. I was so worried, I set my basket on fire in my sleep!”

Twilight's eyes widened “But you haven't night-fired since-”

“I know, that's how upset I was. I mean, I'm happy you're okay, but you couldn't have come home for a second to say 'oh hey Spike, I know I just up and disappeared without saying anything to you, but I'm actually just fine'. You can teleport, you could have done that at any time!”

“Uh, it was for a good cause. I made a really important discovery. I found something, an alien! Here, in Equestria! Over there.” She pointed a hoof in Raj's direction in a transparent attempt to shift Spike's attention.

Raj looked down at the purple creature and waved weakly. “Um, hello.”

Spike raised and eyebrow and waddled up to him, eyes narrowed in appraisal. He rubbed his chin and said “Really? It doesn't look like an alien, it looks like some sort of shaved ape. Is that what you were doing Twilight, shaving monkeys out in the woods?”

“Hey, I'm not a monkey. I'm a Human you little prick.”

“Rajrishi.” Twilight hissed

“A human? Never heard of you. And I read a lot.”

Raj crossed his arms “Yeah, and what are you supposed to be? Some sort of fat gecko?”

“Rajrishi!” Twilight repeated, much more insistent.

“I'm a dragon.” Spike said, his tone low.

Raj crouched down, looking him in the eye. “Really, a dragon huh? I thought dragons were supposed to be ferocious and majestic.”

“Yeah, we are. You know what else we're supposed to do?” He muttered.

“Have wings? Be lithe and dangerous? Be voiced by Benedict Cumberbatch?”

“No, we're supposed to breath FIRE.” Spike pursed his lips and shot a thin gout of emerald flames onto the tip of Raj's boot.

Rajrishi yelped and hopped back, cursing as he stomped at the green fire stoked on his foot and ended up losing his balance. He crashed to the ground and started swatting and blowing at his burning limb.

Twilight grabbed a nearby vase in her horngrip and flung it at Rajrishi's foot, splashing him with water and scattering wilted flowers everywhere.

Before she could ask, Rajrishi held up a hand and said “I'm fine, didn't burn through. I'm fine.”

Twilight nodded and then turned her attention on Spike, who had rolled onto his back giggling. She grit her teeth and growled his name, low and threatening “Spiike...” The little dragon went stock still and then was hiked into the air by the nape of his neck. She lifted him level with her face and quietly asked “What is the second rule of the library?”

“Never mis-shelve?”

“Second rule Spike.” she re-stated.

“No fire under any circumstances.” He replied with resignation.

“Correct. Now, what did you just do?”

Spike shot a look at Raj's heat blackened foot and said “Shot fire. At somepony.”

“Yes, you did Spike. Rajrishi could have been seriously hurt!”

“Oh, come on Twilight. That fire wasn't even hot enough to boil water. It would've died out in a second.”

“I don't care Spike! There is never an excuse for that kind of behavior. Ever. Until further notice, you are confined to the library, and you can forget about getting any more comic books.”

He pointed a claw at Rajrishi “But he started it!”

“No excuses Spike. As much as it pains me to deny reading material to anypony, I can't let something like this go. Rajrishi is going to be staying with us for a while-”

“He will?”

“I will?” he asked as well.

“Not now, both of you.” she shouted before resuming her scowl at the dragon. “Now apologize.”

The little dragon clenched his claws and stomped over Raj as heavily as his stumpy legs would allow. He looked him in the eye, crossed his arms and mumbled “...'m sorry.”

Twilight nudged his back “Better.”

“I'm sorry okay. I'm sorry I set you on fire. It was wrong.”

Twilight nodded “Good. Now then, Rajrishi, do you have anything to say to Spike?”

“Yeah, I do. These are the only boots I have you little jerk. If they wear out on me I'm gonna-”

“RAJRISHI!”

“Fine, fine. I'm sorry I called you names Spike.”

“Good, good.” Twilight let out a pleased sigh “Now then, moving on. Apparently, I need to go let some ponies around town know that I'm back. Spike, can I rely on you to make enough food for the both of you before I get back?”

“Sure Twilight.” He answered, sounding defeated.

She grabbed a saddlebag in her magic and settled it on her back “Great. Now I'm trusting you two to be able to get along while I'm out. Think of it as a bonding experience. I'm sure once you two get past this little misunderstanding, you'll be fast friends.”

“Yeah, friends.” Raj cast a sideways look at the little dragon “Right.”

She shouldered the door open and said “I'm off, back in an hour or so.”

She slammed the door behind her and left the two of them there. Spike glared at the door angrily for a second before looking up at Rajrishi. Raj looked down at him and said plainly “You ever set me on fire like that again and I will spread you across the wall like jelly.”

“Try it monkey-boy, and the only thing left of you will be a scorched outline and a bad stink.”

Rajrishi stared at him for a few moments before he nodded and replied “Alright, I think we understand each other.”

“Good. You hungry?”

“Like you wouldn't believe.” He started to the kitchen with a low gurgle from his gut.

“Alright. Sit down, you'll just mess it up.”

Raj complied and watched Spike plod about the room, preparing a big saucepan of oatmeal porridge. He poured the oats out and set them on the stove, lighting the fire beneath with a puff of green breath. He then grabbed a frilly apron and tied it around his waist and neck.

“An apron? Seriously?” Raj asked, grinning.

“What? I'm cooking and I don't want to get dirty, that's what the thing is for Rajamashi.”

“Rajrishi, my name is Rajrishi. God, that wasn't even close.” he mocked.

“Bite me, your name is goofy.”

Rajrishi scowled “Hey, my name is elegant and beautiful, it means 'King's Sage' and was chosen for me by Guru Granth Sahib in a temple that has stood for more than a hundred years.” He crossed his arms “What about you? You're named after something that hurts to step on. Real noble.”

The little dragon poured oats and water into a pan, giving it a stir as it rapidly rose to a boil. “Wait, your name means something else? That's dumb.”

“You're dumb.” Raj replied as maturely as he could.

Spike grabbed a clawful of brown sugar and tossed it into the pot. “Why pick a name that means something different than what it is. Just be named for that thing. You're not going to name a foal something like 'Dirtrock' and then tell ponies that it actually means 'Skyfire'. Just name the kid Skyfire. Why mess around with something as confusing as double meanings like that?”

Rajrishi opened up his mouth to reply, but wasn't able to come up with anything sound. He sighed and said “Look, if my name is hard for you to say, then just call me Raj, alright?”

Spike moved the pot and set it on a cool burner. “Alright, Raj. That's much easier. You should just tell ponies that's your name.” He hopped off his stool.

Rajrishi groused silently to himself for a moment before trying to change the subject “So, what are you exactly? Twilight's brother, maybe her kid?”

Spike's eyebrow lifted “No, I'm her assistant. And a dragon. How would that even work?'

“Look man, I don't know. Twilight's a wizard or something, I don't know what that means she can do. I have no idea if this is common or not. I don't know how this crap works..”

Spike smirked “Well, when a mommy dragon and a daddy dragon love each other VERY much, the daddy dragon will-”

Raj pointed at him “No, shutup. I refuse.”

Spike snorted and laughed while Raj leaned back in his seat, trying not to be amused as well. He was saved when a ruffle of feathers sounded and a small, brown owl landed on the table and hooted at them.

“And now there's an owl. See, this crap is what I'm talking about. I have no idea if this is normal. Back home, if an owl was in my house for any reason, I would freak out. I'd try and scare it away with a broom, get an eye gouged out, and have the lamest mutilation story ever.”

“Hey, Owlowiscious wouldn't do that. He'd never hurt anypony.”

“Who.” Said the owl on the table.

“You, we're talking about you. You'd never hurt anypony, right Owlowiscious?”

“Who.” Said exactly who you think.

“I don't know. Him, you wouldn't hurt him!” shouted Spike, gesturing at Rajrishi.

The owl turned his way and stared blankly. Raj looked down at him and said “This happens a lot, doesn't it little guy.” The owl shrugged and flapped away to a corner of the library. Raj looked at the dragon again and said “You can say Owlowiscious , but you can't say Rajrishi?”

“Rajamataj.” he said with a smarmy grin.

“Now you're doing it on purpose.”

“Yeah, yeah I am.” he smiled and dumped some of the porridge into a bowl. He slid it across the table “Here, eat up. Milk's in the fridge.”

Raj caught it and looked at him quizzically. “Where's yours?”

“I ate already, that's for you. Tell Twilight there's some for her too.” He yawned “I'm going to bed.”

“It's nine in the morning.”

Spike scowled “I was up all night, looking for Twilight.”

“Oh, right.” he stirred his oatmeal “Thanks, I guess. I'm just kinda surprised.”

Spike looked at him intently for a moment and sighed “I do what Twilight tells me Raj. I trust her, I love her like family. So I don't like when she comes home hurt.”

Raj looked away and asked “How?”

“I notice a lot more than ponies think, like a limp that wasn't there before or cuts under her coat. I don't know what you guys were doing, if I need to, Twilight will tell me. If she says you're important, then you are.” He crossed his arms “But I don't care how important you are, if you hurt her, I'll... well I don't know what I'll do, but it'll be bad. Twilight will forgive me eventually, but I won't forgive myself if I let something happen to her. Understand?”

Raj looked at the little dragon again, suddenly finding the chubby creature a little more imposing. “I think I do Spike.”

He slumped a bit “Good. When Twilight gets back tell her that Owlowiscious puked a bunch of mice into her bed. I didn't clean it up.” and he waddled into the other room and upstairs.

Raj took a bite of his oatmeal and decided that, no, he wasn't going to tell her that.

Author's Note

Raise your hand if you knew how to spell the owl's name on your first try.

...

All of you who raised your hands are filthy liars.

Making Progress

Rajrishi trudged through the Everfree once more, battling the terrain with a small, purple pony carrying and even smaller but just as purple dragon. They cleared Talltrees and skirted the Bramble Thicket, moving at a good pace despite the wet, muddy ground. Only once did they encounter a beast of the Everfree, a single Timberwolf that he was able to easily dispatch. Twilight launched into a lecture, an explanation for how his magic resistance kept the wolves from re-constructing themselves, a phenomenon he had never witnessed, but was assured they do.

The speech was long enough they reached their destination before it was done, the new Arch, deep in the Everfree.

Twilight nodded when she saw it and did one last scan of the area for enormous snakes. Finding none, she trotted up to it, Spike hot on her hooves, horn already sparking with scanning spells and her assistant transcribing her words onto a scroll as her magic told her more and more about the glowing tree.

Raj leaned on his staff, the faintest hint of a hopeful smile on his face.

* * *

I am learning.

For the first time since coming to Equestria, I am honestly learning about where I am.

What I have gleaned thus far is... surprising.

* * *

“Rajrishi Singh Oberoi. Good, good,” Twilight smiled “you're writing is getting much more legible, but your symbols need work.”

Raj grumbled and ran the simple drill again “I can't really draw Twilight. I was an engineer, not an artist. I can't just crank out cute little pictures like everyone else can.”

Twilight cocked her head and took on her scholarly tone “Raj, symbology is an important part of Equestria script. Most ponies in literature and history are represented with a drawing of their Cutie Mark. Being able to identify and write them is necessary for literacy.”

“Little symbols that express identity? Oh, we have those back on Earth too. We called them 'names', and we would write them out to refer to someone on paper. I know, a crazy concept. I don't know how we managed for so long.”

Twilight glowered “Rajrishi, two-thirds of all ponies have to write with their mouths, no exactly an elegant method of writing. Replacing uncommon, hard to write words with depictions of a cutie mark was easier. I mean, look at my mark. Just a six pointed star with some dots. Much easier than mouth-writing 'Twilight Sparkle'. Same with Pinkie Pie, just draw a single balloon. Or Fluttershy, or Rarity, or-”

“I get it, stop lecturing, god.” He looked back down at his paper, once again trying to draw the line of Cutie Marks.

* * *

Ever since I first came here, I thought there was a connection between my world and this one.

Small things, similarities that would be so unlikely to exist it would be reasonable to say they were impossible. Animals, trees, all so much like what I know back home. At first, I chalked what I saw up to magic, assuming that there was some inscrutable rule or effect that I didn't know the nature of, similar to how I can speak with ponies. I didn't think I would ever understand it. I know better now.

I no longer think that there is a connection to Earth here.

Now I know there is one.

* * *

“I believe that I can definitively say that I do not understand this tree.”

“That's not particularly encouraging.”

Twilight gestured to the reams of parchment showing charts, diagrams, and text that he couldn't begin to understand with his meager grasp of Equestrian written language. Nonetheless, he picked one up and nodded sagely at it, giving an impression of comprehension. “What's so weird about it?”

“That's just it, there's nothing there. No lingering spell, no built up energy. There isn't even anything there that would explain why it glows. Whatever magic that sustains this thing is completely beyond my ability to detect, much less the kind of potency it would take to transport somepony through space.” she smacked a hoof against the table “It is incredibly frustrating.”

Raj stared at her for a moment “I can only imagine Twilight.”

She winced “Sorry about that Raj, I... I forgot.”

“It's fine, forget about it. So the Arch is worthless then? I wasted four months waiting near one?”

“I won't say that just yet. There's still a few things I can look into. I'm going to contact a professional Arborist in Whinnypeg and send him some of those samples from the dead one. Professor Greenleaf is brilliant Rajrishi, if he can't identify this tree and tell me about it, I don't think anypony can. And even if he can't, I'll drag some more sensitive equipment into the Everfree to scan the still standing Arch. If there is a secret to be pulled from those trees, I will find it.” She poked her nose into her book. “Now, if we could figure out the exact day you arrived, we might be onto something.”

“I came here exactly one-hundred and eighty-two days ago.” He snapped off instantly.

Twilight cocked an eyebrow “You sure?”

“It was something of a hobby of mine.”

She nodded and smiled, scribbling in her notes “Great, I'll look up to see if any events coincide with that date and maybe we can draw a connection. Progress Rajrishi.” she tapped her hoof against the table.

“Progress.” He said back, smiling. “Thank you Twilight. Whatever I can do to help it along, I'll do it.”

Twilight rolled her eyes away “Well, there's another angle I've been thinking about actually.” her horn burned and a dusty star chart flew off a shelf “Tell me, how well you know your planet's astronomy.”

* * *

Whinnypeg, Stalliongrad, Manehattan, Shang-Hoof, dozens others. All similar to Earth places, but ponified. It's like they ripped off our ideas. Or we ripped off theirs, I'm willing to accept that possibility.

It's not just the cities. We share ideas and concepts, different names but the same premise. Equestria is a free-market system under a dual-monarchy. They have princesses and barons and lords, titles that are strikingly similar to old Earth ones. Hell, the mere fact that I get their humor and they get mine shows just how similar we are culturally and socially.

Our worlds inspire one another, taking the parts we seem to like from the other as we go along. Most of the differences are just facts of biology, and magic obviously. I told Twilight all this, but she already has a million things to look into about me, the fact that some of our words sound the same isn't very high on her list. But I know that my way home lies in this connection, I just have to find it.

But I can't do that from the Everfree.

* * *

“You lived here?” asked Spike, inspecting the ruined campsite.

“Yeah, for about five months.” He popped the trunk of his wrecked car.

“It's kind of a dump.” he kicked the ashy firepit.

“You bet it is.”

The camp had not fared well in the week he'd been gone. What remained of the padding in his seats had been shredded by whatever creature fled at their approach, leaving the whole cab covered in moldy, urine-soaked padding. Surprisingly enough, his fish-trap was entirely untouched.

He fished around in his trunk, gathering the possessions he forgot when he left the first time. Spike hopped up on the bumper, peering into the trunk. “Oh wow, what's this stuff?”

“Junk mostly, it kept me alive though.”

“What's that?” he asked, pointing with a claw.

“My old coat,” he lifted the article up “got torn up by a chupacabra.”

“What's that?”

“Tire iron. It's used for changing wheels on the car.”

“What's that?”

“Tire, it's what you change with a tire iron.”

“What's that?”

“Jumper cables.”

“Is that like jumprope?”

“No, not at all.” Raj shrugged.

“Okay, hey, oh eww, what's that?”

Raj cocked his head “Looks like a raccoon that got stuck in here and died. Let's... let's leave that be.” He slammed the trunk.

“So is that it then? No more reason to come here?”

“Not quite. Twilight wanted some samples from the dead Arch, once I do that I never have to see this place again.” he snapped his fingers and shook his head “Holy- almost forgot!” He stooped into the front seat, rummaging in the car's console “Please let it still be here.”

“What're you-” Spike craned his neck to see.

“Ah-ha! Perfect, just where I left it.” Grinning wide, Raj fished something from his folding ashtray.

“What, what is it?” Raj lowered his hand, palm open. In it, sat a small, dusty ring made of gold.

“A ring? Why do you- ohhhh,” realization dawned on his face “I didn't, wow, nopony told you were even...” he trailed off when he saw Raj leaning against the frame of the car, eyes closed. He pointed away “I'm, uh, I'm gonna go get those samples. Back in a minute?”

“Thank you Spike.” he replied, clutching the ring to his chest.

“No problem. And, um, don't worry about it dude. You'll see her again. I'm sure of it.”

“T-thank you Spike.”

* * *

I'm in Ponyville now, searching for answers.

My time spent in the forest was a waste, I'm starting to accept that. The Arch was never going to just open, it was childish to even hope it would. I've been passive, hoping that my problem would resolve itself and I would happen to be nearby when it did.

Fighting monsters and scratching for survival. Idiotic. Months and months, for absolutely nothing.

I have to make up for lost time. I need to know how I was brought here, understand the phenomenon and make it happen again. There's so much about Equestria I am ignorant of, and I can't afford that ignorance any longer.

I am going to get home even if I have to build my own space-shuttle.

* * *

Raj hacked one of the Apple Axes down, splitting a log in one blow. He set the halves on a steadily growing pile and snagged another log to be chopped.

“Rajrishi.” he heard Twilight yell his name from the house, her top half leaning out the split door.

He sheathed his ax and strolled over, moving with little haste. “What's up Twilight?”

“Why are you chopping wood? I told Spike to do that.”

Raj turned back to the chopping log and shrugged “Well, I guess he conned me into doing it. Good for the sneaky little jerk.”

Twilight giggled “Never mind that, come inside. There's somepony I want you to meet.” Raj pushed the door open, stooping to avoid striking his head. Twilight walked backwards in front of him, excitement plain on her features “You remember when I had you describe your planet's constellations to me?”

“Yeah, and I realized I know much less about astronomy than I thought. What about it?”

“Well, I wasn't able to find anything, but I brought in somepony who might! She's the best source on all celestial bodies, if she can't find something in the night sky, then it probably isn't there.”

Raj smiled “That's great Twilight. She's here?”

“Yes, she is but, um, she's a little... different. She's very, very old fashioned. Just bear with her and be as polite as you can and you should be fine though. Also, don't make her mad. She might lock you in a dungeon or something”

“O...kay?” he responded, suddenly hesitant, but ended up shrugging “Screw it. Where is she?”

“The main room, give me a sec. I'll announce you.” Twilight zipped away. After a few seconds he heard Twilight yell “Okay, come in!”

Raj walked into the main room, his posture straight and hands at his sides. At the table in the center of the room stood a very different looking pony. She stood a head taller than Twilight, her entire body a dusky blue. He barely noticed that however, so much of his attention drawn to her endlessly flowing, twinkling mane and tail. As he came in, she turned her half-lidded eyes his way and Raj got the distinct impression he was being judged and found wanting.

Twilight gestured a hoof his way “Princess Luna, let me introduce my friend, Rajrishi Singh Oberoi, the creature I've been telling you about.”

They stood in silence for a few moments before Raj remembered himself and smiled weakly “Oh, right. It's a pleasure to meet you ma'am.” he unfolded his hands and gave a courteous cross bow.

She started to nod back, but then her eyes shot open and she took an audible gasp. Her wings sprung from her sides and she shouted, loud enough to rattle the glass in the windows “SPAWN OF BRIARUS! BEGONE FROM THIS PLACE BEAST!”

Before Raj could even fully process what she said her horn lit with shadows and what felt like a medicine ball fired out of a cannon hit him in the pelvis, launching him backwards and out the back door hard enough to blow it off the hinges.

Author's Note

I have cracked 1,000 views! Go team Venture!

Now for my next goal, 1,000 comments! It's gonna happen!

That Most Dangerous Beast

Rajrishi bounced once and rolled to a stop next to the stack of wood he'd just finished building, sputtering curses like a sailor. Laboriously, he stood up, his joints cracking and spine aching where he hit the door. He shook his head “What the hell?”

Loud shouting echoed out of the house again, followed by quieter, less commanding words for a few seconds. After that, the whole side of the library exploded.

Spars of wood and splinters rained his way and he shielded himself as best he was able, a few shards biting into his skin. When he looked up again, he wasn't quite sure what he was seeing.

Floating in the air, wings flapping lazily, was the larger pony from inside, the very air around her dark like a penumbra and lit with sparks of light and the burning silver of her eyes. Galaxies and stars danced in that terrible shadow, her chiseled face somehow appearing even colder than the void it stared out of. She opened her mouth to speak and shouted “SURRENDER BEAST, YOU STAND BEFORE A TRUE-BORN DAUGHTER OF THE FAUSTMARE. SUBMIT TO YOUR IMPRISONMENT OR SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES!”

Raj stared at her in mute terror for a few seconds before her words sunk in. He shook his head and sputtered back “W-what? What did I do?”

She glared at him “YIELD TO US, OR BE DESTROYED BEAST!” offering no explanation for her attack.

The direct threat shook Raj out of his daze “Well, I guess this is happening today.” He drew the Apple Axes and set himself “Not happening Bad Horse, I'm not going anywhere.”

She sneered “THEN YOU CHOOSE DEATH.” her horn sparked and launched a lance of crackling blue light that ate through the ground as Raj dove away, going into a roll. “STAND AND FIGHT FOOL.”

Raj ignored the barb and ran forward, arms cocked back. He sprang up as she fired another ray, the beam glancing across his calf. He ignored the flare of pain in his leg and swiped at the shadowy pony. She gave a hard flap of his wings and lifted out of his reach, making him hit nothing but air.

He hit the ground hard, his injured leg going out from under him. He heard her charging up again and held his axes over his head, blocking blindly. He didn't get lucky and the beam of energy found his shoulder, burning a black mark on him the size of a silver dollar. He screamed and sprang back on his good leg toward the stack of wood and looked up. Luna was much higher, well out of his reach and charging up to fire again.

Raj sprang away, taking advantage of the fact that she needed an instant to charge up between shots. He thunked one of his axes into a log he'd just chopped and looped it around, flinging it upwards as fast as a missile. It bounced off a suddenly appearing dark shield.

“Okay, so she can shoot lasers, fly, and is invincible. Fine.” He rolled his shoulder a few times, measuring the injury. The joint hurt and his fingers were numb, but nothing seemed permanent. He idly wondered how much worse it would have been without the magic resistance Twilight had told him about. A glance at the exploded holes in the ground her errant blasts created made him skip that line of though rather quickly.

Luna's shield disappeared and her eyes flashed, another wave of magic running down her horn before she launched yet another beam of shimmering light. Running on instinct, he gripped an ax in both hands and presented the flat of it. The beam of energy smacked into the golden metal hard enough for his hand to jump, but the metal held steady against the magic, turning the energy into a spray of golden sparks that hissed against his skin and the ground.

To his surprise, the beam did not dissipate, it simply kept coming in a never ending torrent of terrible blue light. He was quickly thankful for the numbness in his hand as the ax started to heat from the spell, enough that he could see curls of smoke rising from where he held it.

“FOOLISH BEAST! DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT A SIMPLE ORICHALCUM AX COULD STOP THE PRINCESS OF THE NIGHT? YIELD, OR WE SHALL DESTROY THEE!” She focused harder, widening the beam by a fraction and increasing it's power.

Raj felt himself slide back, his arms starting to tremor. In a bit of a panic, he looped his good arm down as he rolled past the energy, flipping his grip on the spare ax and flinging it towards her in a singing arc. He got lucky and it bit deep into the joint of her wing, fouling her flight. She let out a hard yelp and flapped with her one good wing, trying to keep her balance. She went into a tumble and hit the ground with a hard smack, groaning at the impact.

Knowing this was his one real chance, Raj ignored the intense pain of his injuries and charged forward with his super-heated ax, screaming incoherently. Luna shook her head and looked up just as he was rearing back to strike. Gritting her teeth, she channeled energy into her horn for another spell.

That spell never went off, as Raj's glowing-hot ax descended and struck the very tip of her horn, cleaving through the spiraled length. The infant spell hit the split and fragmented, turning into raw energy that exploded outward in a blinding flash of light. Raj felt himself lifted up and sailed into the stack of wood, scattering it.

His ears still ringing, Raj picked himself up. Smoke streamed from black pits on his torso where horn-shrapnel had dug into him, giving him electric jolt from residual magical energies. He glanced around, looking for his ax but found it nowhere. He did see a dozen or more ponies staring at him from windows and behind cover with more coming to look out of curiosity. “Dammit, not exactly how I wanted to meet the town.”

Luna extricated herself from yet another hole in the side of the library, groaning. She shook her head and gingerly touched the smoking remnants of her horn, wincing at the contact. What was left of it had curled away, blackened, leaving a tiny stub no more than a couple of inches out of her forehead. It reminded Raj of when a gun would backfire in a cartoon.

Luna focused again and winced as a burst of sparks shot out of her ruined horn. Grunting, she wiped her hoof over it and broke off the shattered remnants of it. She ground them into the dirt and snorted “I shall make thee pay for that knave.”

“By what, whipping your tail at me?” sneered back Raj as he pulled his broken knife.

“Do not think that we are nothing but our magics. we need little more than the strength of our hooves to deal with one of Briarus' leavings. However,” Luna curled her head back to the ax still embedded in her wing and yanked it free in a gush of purple. She winced at the pain, but swallowed it down and lowered herself. “this weapon shall suffice all the same.” she added around the grip in her mouth.

“I have no idea what you're talking about Princess. Take a seat, and then I won't have to embarrass you.”

She shouted “BEAST SPAWN!” and broke into a charge, metal shod hooves eating into the dirt.

Raj screamed back wordlessly and fell into his own run, knife held in a reverse-grip.

They were scant feet away from each other when a flash of purple formed between them and they skidded to a halt against a translucent purple dome. Inside, Twilight stood focusing power into her horn. The dome flashed and thrummed outward, forcing the two of them back. She cried out “Stooop!” She looked back and forth between them “What in the Tartarus are you two doing?”

“Remove thyself Twilight Sparkle, that creature is dangerous. He must be placed back in his proper containment!”

“I have no idea what she's talking about Twilight. She threw me through your house and shot lasers at me.” Raj yelled back, never taking his eye off the dark pony.

“Cease your lies BEAST!” Her eyes flashed white again and another spray of sparks fired off her ruined horn.

“Luna, stop!” Twilight turned against the Princess of the Night. “Rajrishi isn't a spawn of whatever, he's a human, not a monster.”

“He deceives you Twilight Sparkle. He bears all of Briarus' marks: the hands, the face, the smell, all of it reeks of that most vile of Titans.”

“I don't care what you think he is, he's my friend.” She yelled back, tears brimming in her eyes “I asked you here to help me find his home, not destroy mine!” She gestured to the damaged library. “He hasn't tricked me, or lied to me, he's been perfect since he got here. There's no reason for you to apprehend him or whatever.”

“He belongs in Tartarus with the rest of his kind!” She insisted.

“No he does NOT!” she shouted, her voice dwarfing the larger pony's for a moment. She stared at the princess, breathing heavy. “And if you won't stop trying to hurt him I'll... I'll fight you too.” She lowered her head, horn lighting with violet energy.

Luna's hardened mask cracked a bit, looking unsure for the first time since Raj had met her. She took a step back “Mayhap... mayhap we were at tad... hasty in our judgment.” She tried to smile, but it was thoroughly lost on her audience.

* * *

Rajrishi sat inside the library with a large pair of tweezers clutched in the hand that wasn't swathed in bandages. He gingerly dug into one of the blackened wounds on his torso and managed to grab hold of a horn-shard. He swiftly pulled it out and winced “Ow” before setting it on a small plate. He then grabbed the tail of another piece and yanked on it, repeating “Ow.”

Across from him, Princess Luna sat with a small ceramic cup in her hooves, sipping it daintily. Raj thought she was being awfully cavalier about the grievous ax-wound in her side, but decided not to call her bluff. Nevertheless, he never released his grip on the remaining Apple Ax.

“Now then,” said Twilight as she looked nervously between to two of them “Luna, why don't you tell us why you decided to attack Rajrishi the moment you saw him?”

The Princess glanced at the little pony and cleared her throat “Very well, we shall explain ourselves.”

“This better be good.” muttered Raj.

Twilight's eyes flicked over to him “Please don't goad her Rajrishi. Luna, go ahead.”

Luna glared “As we were saying. We believed that he is an escapee from Tartarus, a fugitive from righteous justice. We still believe it in fact.” She grabbed a notebook and started scratching on it with a pen held in her teeth. “Nng, we despise mouth-writing. A moment.” She took a breath and closed her eyes, everything above her neck tensing. Her wings flared and she grunted with strain, more sparks shooting from her broken horn. The air around took on a tangible tingle and both Rajrishi and Twilight were astounded to see her shattered horn start to crackle and knit, re-growing before their eyes.

After a long, stupefied minute of staring her horn stood proud atop her head again. She smiled to herself and fluttered her wings, showing off the lack of injury to her joint.

Raj leaned forward “Huh, that was neat.”

“I'd... I had heard about Alicorn Regeneration techniques before but I've never seen it myself.” said Twilight, leaning forward to inspect the newly formed horn.

“That is not surprising Twilight Sparkle.” Her new horn sparked and she quickly wrote a note on the page, folded it, and floated it upstairs to where Twilight had sent Spike. “Hopefully mine sister is unoccupied and will send along the tome that will explain our actions. In the meantime, we shall determine if he is an escapee from Tartarus.”

“How?” asked Twilight.

“A simple detection spell. All inmates of Tartarus' layers are embedded with an aethyric marker, a tag if you will. There is a charm that the wardens use to identify them. The presence of such a marker will determine if he is a denizen of Tartarus. Rise Rajrishi, so we may perform it.”

Raj stared at her, hand still on his ax, not moving.

“Did thou not hear us creature? Rise and be judged.”

“Yeah, I don't take orders from you Bad Horse. Especially you.”

She scowled “It fears our judgment, knowing that upon the casting it will be banished back to those darkened caverns. Thy hesitance betrays thy nature beast.”

Raj flipped his ax on the table “No, it's because the last spell you cast was a laser that you tried to kill me with.”

“The magic we utilized was meant to disable, not slay. If our goal was to end thy life creature, then thou would be dead in the yard.” She took a sip of her tea.

Raj gripped his ax tighter in his good hand “Wow, that's surprisingly little comfort.”

Twilight cut in “Rajrishi, calm down. It's okay, I know the spell she's talking about. I'll do it. Is that okay?” Raj eyed Luna for a moment and nodded “Good. Now hold still.” Twilight's horn lit and projected a flat plane of light that ran up and down Raj's body for a few seconds before she turned to Luna. “No spell tags of any kind or active enchantments. See? He's not from Tartarus.”

“Impossible. Check again.” She ordered.

Twilight cast the spell once more and repeated “Nope, same result. He's clean Princess. Metaphorically of course.”

Luna narrowed her eyes and huffed, “We do not believe that. There is no way our sister would allow a spawn of Briarus to wander Equestria free and unattended.”

“That's what I was trying to tell you, he was brought here against his will, from another planet. He's an alien!”

“We do not know what lies this creature has been instilling upon you, but that is certainly one of them. There is no such thing as aliens Twilight Sparkle. If you will not see reason then we will scan him ourselves and set right what has been wronged.” Her horn lit up.

Raj sneered at her, bur didn't move, relenting to her scan out of frustration. Her light danced across him once and she gave him a perplexed look. Her horn burned brighter and a stronger plane ran down his body, causing a tingle to his flesh wherever it ran. He growled “If you made me sterile, I'm going to turn your hooves into ashtrays, I swear to god.”

If she even noticed his threat, she gave no sign, instead just staring at him in surprise “That... that cannot be. There is no marker upon thy aura. Thou art not a prisoner of Tartarus.”

“Well, I'm glad we had to have a ten minute argument and a laser-fight in the yard before you realized that.”

Luna sat back gracelessly, staring forward “We, we were so certain. It had to be...” she closed her eyes “And we attacked him, in anger.”

Twilight came up to her side “It's okay Luna. You didn't hurt Rajrishi that badly.”

“Speak for yourself Twilight. I still can't close this hand.” Raj flexed the hand that had been burned by the searing hot ax.

“Right, thy injuries. Allow me.” Her horn erupted into light that zipped towards Rajrishi's chest.

He fumbled blindly for the ax but was too slow to act before the cloud of energy hit him. He was struck by a wave of cold numbness that made him gasp and he dropped to his knees.

When the wave passed and he opened his eyes he felt... good.

He flexed his hand, the aches from his burns gone. “Did you... did you heal me?”

“Correct. Mine magic has mended thy injuries. Thou may experience faint tingles and sensitivity to light for the next day.” she muttered, panting slightly, her mane somewhat wilted.

“Oh wow!” Twilight bounded forward, looking him all over “I knew Alicorns could heal themselves, but I had no idea they could induce it in others as well.”

“That is not surprising either Twilight Sparkle, it is very likely that it is the first time such magic has been performed in many centuries. It is powerful magic, with a commensurately powerful price. The energy we expended to mend Rajrishi is forever spent. For all time, I shall be weaker in mine power, however slightly.” Her face was stony, betraying nothing.

Twilight's pupils turned to pinpricks “W-what? You're weaker now? Forever?!”

“Do not concern thyself Twilight Sparkle. The power I sacrificed is comparable to that of a single drop from a lake of water. We very much doubt such a loss of power will every be relevant in any encounter, but the act itself was still very tiring.”

Twilight breathed a sigh of relief “Okay, that's good. I was worried for a second.”

“Indeed. Rajrishi,” she turned her attention to the sitting human “for you I offer my deepest apologies for mine rash action. It is our hope that someday you may find the kindness to forgive us.” She lowered her head in a graceful bow, horn almost touching the floor.”

Raj nodded at her and flatly said “Blow it out your ass.”

“Rajrishi!”

“Nay, Twilight Sparkle. Leave him be.” Luna held up a hoof and looked at him coolly. “He dost have every right to beckon us to project whatever he desires from our posterior. We wronged him, and a simple apology shant be enough. It would besmirch our honor if it was.”

“But... you healed him, he has no reason to be mad.”

“We are not audacious enough to suggest that his pain and stress are meaningless or non-existent. Simply alleviating the unjustly caused harm is not enough to restore my honor or earn forgiveness. Besides, there are consequences to our conflict that we cannot simply remedy with magic.”

Raj looked at her strangely “What, did your spells give me cancer or something?”

“Nay, cancer is not within our arcane purview. We speak of the witnesses to our conflict, and the harm that battling us in front of them may have caused to your reputation amongst the villagers.”

Raj crossed his arms “Well, seeing as how I don't HAVE a reputation among the villagers other than what they just saw, I'm going to say it damaged it plenty.”

“Ah, we perceive.” Her eyes darkened “It seems we have more to make amends for. We shall add it to the list. Again, you have our apologies.” There was a pause and they all heard from upstairs Spike cough and a crackle of flames. “Ah, thy assistant has recovered mine tome. Excellent, now we may explain our motivations at least.” Her horn sparked and a book the size of a car-door and thicker than his thigh floated down the stairs and set gently on the table which creaked under the sheer weight of it.

Raj inspected the massive tome. The thing's binding and cover were shod in iron and a heavy padlock held it shut. A rune he didn't recognize had been burned onto the cover, something that looked like a quartet of slash marks, like a hot claw had been run along the cover. “Behold Rajrishi Singh Oberoi and Twilight Sparkle, knowledge that has been banished form this world for more than five-thousand years: The Book of Titans.” Her horn flashed and the lock clanked off and the cover swung open, showing pages made from wafer-thin pieces of polished copper marked with black ink.

Raj ran his hand along a page, feeling the smoothness. This thing just felt ancient, older than the stones beneath his feet. “What's in this thing?” he asked quietly.

“Terrors Rajrishi, terrors.” Luna focused, rattling the pages until she made it about halfway through. “Ah, there it is. We knew it was there, the chapter on Briarus.”

Raj furrowed his brow “Everybody keeps mentioning that. What is a 'Briarus' anyway?”

“He is a creature of terrible power and rage, a Hekatonkheire, the most dangerous beast to every stride Equestrian soil, and unless we miss our guess,” she flipped a few more pages “thy progenitor.” She tapped an illustration.

Raj leaned in and inspected the illustration. Taking up a whole page and wrought in black against copper, was a true monster. It stood a thousand feet high in scale on a tangled mess of long, grasping, multi-jointed arms that bulged with muscle. Each arm ended in a five-fingered hand, each one always shaded black against the page. There were a hundred large arms, each one reaching to destroy something or punching at unseen obstacles, in between those hulking limbs bristled smaller ones, mostly lost in the scale. The whole creature spoke of violence and fury, of mindless destruction.

The detail that stood out most however, was a single head perched at the top, hairless, supported by more arms and wracked in a mad scream.

On that head, was a distinctly human face.

Raj stared at the page for a long minute before simply uttering “Oh.”

Author's Note

It has been discovered in mine experiences and travels, that the action of transcribing words in the nature of contemporary speech methods is a thorn in mine ass. Verily.

The Shortest Chapter

“There are hundreds of them, most of which are detailed in these pages. They call themselves many things, Linnorms, The Tane, Overfiends, The Asura, Brahmii, and others that defy casual pronunciation. But collectively we refer to them as Titans, Things that Came Before.”

Raj scanned the pages in front of him, his own rudimentary knowledge of pony script blocking even the simplest comprehension. He said nothing, letting Luna continue.

“They created the soil, the sky, the very wind. All that is was built by a Titan long ago. For what purpose, it is not for we to say. Their motivations could only be speculated upon, for whom can gauge the desires and thoughts of beings who were ancient enough to see the birth of mine sister's sun. But Briarus,” she tapped the page “his wants and needs are plain to see: he exists for naught but destruction and violence, a true terror upon this or any world. That I have witnessed firsthoof.”

Twilight nodded “Back during the Forming Wars, right? Long before Equestria was... well, Equestria?”

“Indeed Twilight Sparkle, your words know truth. It was mine privilege to stand alongside The Faustmare, Mother of Alicorns and progenitor of all things Equine. It was she who cast out those Titans that had not yet left for the far flung reaches or lain down to wait out this iteration of the universe, banishing all those that stood in the way of peace to Tartarus.” She turned a page with a swell of magic “Briarus amongst them. From what my mother deigned explain before her ascension, that bellicose beast was the most difficult to restrain.”

Raj studied the next page, seeing a smaller illustration of Briarus, each limb bound in chains. “Alright, interesting, but why did you attack me? I'm not a thousand feet tall and made of arms.”

“Nay, thou art possessed of but four extremities, that much is plain. But you are unmistakeably a spawn of that beastly titan. Of that, there is not doubt.”

Raj sneered a bit “No, I'm not. My parents were Bhupinder and Aasa and, I can assure you, they were not Hekatonkheire.”

She gave him an icy stare “We were not speaking of thy parentage Rajrishi, but the progenitor of your race. All creatures count at least one Titan as their progenitor, and Hoomans-”

“It's Humans.”

“-Humans undoubtedly sprang from Briarus' numerous loins.”

“Okay, first of all, gross, that's gross. Don't say that kind of stuff. Secondly, that doesn't answer my question. What does some ancient monster that may have created my species matter? Why did it make you attack me?”

Luna paused for a second and nodded, like she was affirming something to herself “Briarus's rage was only challenged by his libidinous nature. He spawned dozens of races, the Naga, the Centaur, the Harpies, all were birthed by Briarus in times long ago and share qualities that mark them as such.” she turned a page and pointed “Hands, each with five fingers or a permanent mark of such on their form, such as the coloration on the rear of a Naga's hood or a Harpy's five taloned claw. Second, a flattened face, constructed similarly to wrathful Briarus himself. Thirdly, a hunger for the flesh of other creatures, regardless of it's source.” She looked at Rajrishi evenly “We have smelled the blood on thine breath since the moment we met thee, so it is certain as well.”

“So I eat meat, big deal. Lots of things eat meat. I don't see what-”

“And lastly,” she interrupted “all of Briarus' spawn are possessed of destructive natures and an aptitude and willingness to commit violence against beast, sentient, and pony alike.” She set her hoof “There has been not a single Briarus-spawned race, not even the redeemed Minotaurs, that have not cursed Equestria in some way with their mere existence. The Underhoof Wars by the Diamond Dogs, the Zebrican Rebellion by the Centaurs, Ponies kidnapped and eaten in the night by Nagas, the list is never ending, the atrocities committed by that vile beast's lineage are too many to count. Even after most have been locked away in Tartarus with their ancient parent, they continue to plague Equinity into the present day.” She said matter-of-factually, not letting her face betray any emotion.

Luna lowered her head and let out a breath “That is why we assaulted you Rajrishi, from mine eyes an unknown creature spawned from the most dangerous beast to ever exist appeared before us in the presence of one of our precious few friends. We believed you to be an escaped prisoner from Tartarus and we, or rather, I... reacted poorly. Once again, you have our apologies.” she lowered her head.

Raj frowned “Been there actually.”

“I can only imagine. As stated, we owe you a debt, regardless of thine lineage. Mayhap your kind are an exception to the rules as we know them. For that, I pray.” her horn sparked and the massive book closed. “Twilight Sparkle, we will not do you the disservice of presenting such a massive reservoir of knowledge and remove it before you have had an opportunity for study. We shall leave the Book of Titans in your stewardship for the time being. Peruse it at your will.”

Twilight beamed and hopped in the air, her legs flailing underneath her. “Oh my gosh, thank you Princess!”

“Think nothing of it. It is the least we can do as we will be forced to postpone the aid we promised. Our combat and following healing has left us quite fatigued. Likely the return to Canterlot will leave us largely drained. My apologies Twilight Sparkle.”

“Apologies are not necessary Luna. Despite the... unpleasantness I learned a great deal today.” Twilight bowed and Luna returned it slightly.

Luna looked at Raj curiously for a few moments before saying cryptically “We shall likely return in a few days. We will send correspondence by your dragon. Farewell.” she clopped out of the blasted-off door and flapped hard, launching herself into the sky.

Raj crossed his arms and watched her fade into the sky. “Don't think I like that one very much.”

“That's understandable. She did attack you with the intention of locking you up in Tartarus, but she had a legitimate reason.”

“Yeah, which pretty much boiled down to racism. I got enough of that crap back home.”

She cocked her head “People thought you were a dangerous beast back on Earth?”

Raj opened his mouth to respond, thought about it, and shrugged “Actually, yeah. Some did, but even where I live they're considered cranks.”

“Oh, that's... awful. Well, anyways, at least we made progress today and got a useful new resource.” She tapped the book “Hopefully it will be useful in getting you a way home.”

Raj leaned back in his chair “Don't see how it can.”

She furrowed her brow “What are you talking about? This is a huge discovery!”

“Yeah, academically. Knowing an old story is interesting I suppose, but it's not going to tell me how I can get home. So the legend of Equestria is that some ancient gods made every race and passed some traits on. Big deal.”

“Rajrishi, how can you be so short-sighted?” she closed the massive book with a burst of magic “What if the legend ends up being true?”

Raj blinked “I don't follow.”

Twilight rolled her eyes “Rajrishi, if Briarus is the Titan that made humans, then Briarus has to have moved between both Earth and Equestria! That means the connection we've been theorizing on is real, there is a way to move between the two worlds.”

Raj leaned back further “Ohhh, damn. I hadn't thought of that.”

She stuck her tongue out “Well, that's what I'm here for. I'll have to read this book cover to cover, see what's known about Briarus' abilities and if hopping between planetary bodies was something he could do, but it's a lead Rajrishi. Our first one.”

“Our first real lead...” Raj leaned into his hand, face blank from thought. It was flimsy, apocryphal, based on information literally thousands of years old, and relied on him ignoring everything he knew about human history and development, but it was something. “Thank you Twilight Sparkle.”

“No need Rajrishi, this is all fascinating to me. I'll- ack!” she exclaimed as Raj grabbed her by the withers and pulled her into a tight hug, smiling blissfully.

Author's Note

Meant for this to be a part of the last one actually, but then stuff happened.

Big Universe, Small Town

“And that's checkmate! Ha!” Spike said triumphantly, moving his rook in place next to Raj's Princess.

Raj stared down at the board and groused “This game is stupid.”

“You're stupid!” he retorted.

“Words hurt Spike, words hurt.”

Spike laughed and started sliding the pieces back back in place “You wanna do another, or you wanna leave it at three to thirty-nine?”

“You're not at thirty-nine. You just got to thirty-eight!”

“You're forgetting about the game we played on the balcony. Halfway through I had to explain how weather works.”

His face fell “We were playing chess during that?”

“I was, I don't know what you were doing.” he jabbed as the last pieces slid in place “So, another game?”

Raj shook his head “Nah, I think I'm done being beaten at chess by a gecko for today.”

Spike shrugged “Suit yourself. Why don't you go be illiterate somewhere else?”

“I'm not illiterate, I read in two languages, english and hindi, and I'm learning yours.” he leaned back “At least I don't have to sleep in a basket like a newborn kitten.”

The dragon scowled “Go eat a rabbit carnivore.”

“Go eat a rock lapivore.”

“Pony-punching poser!”

“Fattened skink!”

“Rajrishi! Spike!” shouted Twilight from the door to the basement, a moment later the mare herself coming up. “What did I tell you two about fighting?”

They both stared at her in confusion “We... we weren't fighting Twilight.”

“Yeah, we're getting along fine.” Spike added.

Twilight's eyebrow rose “But you were yelling, and calling each other names.”

“Oh, that's easy. We're dudes.” Raj said plainly and Spike nodded, as if that was a full and complete explanation.

Twilight looked between the two and shook her head “Nevermind, I don't have time for this. Rajrishi, Spike, please clean this up, I need the table. Luna finally sent some of those star-charts for me to go through.”

Raj and Spike moved their board and started clearing the main room table. As soon as she had space Twilight floated over a scroll-case and popped it open. She upended the thing and a coiled roll of silk flopped out. She unrolled it, showing a void-black expanse dotted with hundreds of little stars. Staring at it for a little bit, Rajrishi realized that each one was twinkling, every so faintly.

He whistled “There's something you don't see everyday.”

Spike crawled up on his stool and studied the thing on the table. “Wow! This is amazing... what is it?”

“An animated start chart, showing a quadrant of the eastern night. Princess Luna is one of the best celestial-cartographers that has ever lived. There's a level of detail here I never even knew existed. It's incredible.” She leaned close, eyeing the map carefully.

“How much of the sky is on here?” he asked, walking around the edge of the table.

“A few thousand stars,” Twilight rolled over an apparatus with an extendable arm holding a thick magnifying glass “about quarter of a percent of the night sky. With the other three maps in the tube, I have a little over one-percent to comb through.”

“That's not a whole lot.” he said, frowning a bit “You made any progress, got any ideas where home is?”

“I'm afraid not.” she answered with a sympathetic look “The sky is a big place Raj, there's a lot to look through. It's going faster with Luna helping, but there's still a lot to get through.”

“Oh... okay.” he said, nodding a bit.

“Hey, don't look so down. Luna's pretty sure that we share a galaxy, so that narrows it down a good deal. We know your star's color, type, rough size, and we have a clear idea of it's absolute magnitude. It's just a factor of time Raj, if it's out there, we'll get it.” she looked up and smiled “Anyway, I'm actually learning a lot about astronomy I didn't know before. It's fun, so don't be so glum Rajrishi.”

Raj sighed “I know, it's just a little frustrating I guess, not being able to do anything. Could I help actually? I can track the stars on here.” he lowered a hand to the cloth.

“Oh no you don't!” the scroll-case floated over and lightly whapped him on the hand “Do NOT touch this star-chart Mr. Erodes-Enchantments-with-a-Touch! Princess Luna made this map, by hoof, more than a thousand years ago. I am not taking the chance that your spell-resistance frays whatever magic preserved it all this time. Honestly, you probably shouldn't even be in the room.”

Raj recoiled “Well, fine. Damn.” he shoved his hand in his pocket “What am I supposed to do then?”

Twilight shrugged “You could take another crack at the hole. It's still not fixed.” she added the last with an askance look at Rajrishi.

“Hey, don't blame me. I'm not the one who threw myself through a wall.” he pointed a thumb at the still present hole in the library, now covered in a tarp.

“No but you are the one I asked to fix it, and you haven't.”

“You live in a tree Twilight. A living tree. I can't just tack some plywood up to it. The tarp is doing fine.”

She scowled “A raccoon got in here!”

“Hey, that raccoon was a surprisingly polite houseguest.” he shot back honestly.

“Yeah Twilight, he gave us walnuts.” added Spike.

“Those were not walnuts spike, they were beetles. Dead beetles.”

Spike shrugged “I thought they tasted fine.”

“Eww, just... no. Moving on.” she waved a hoof flippantly, returning to her lenses “Go for a walk or something. Oooh, go to the market. Spike has been asking for some of Bon-Bon's candied blueberries and I keep forgetting to pick some up.”

“I don't have any money.” He paused “Actually, what do you even use for money here? Hay? Cubes of sugar?”

“Just ask Spike where the coin jar is, now shoo!” she levitated over a broom and rudely nudged him and Spike away and out the front door.

“Fine, jeez.” Raj shot an angry glare at the library to see the door slam shut. Raj looked over to Spike “She normally like this?”

Spike shrugged “Eh, she is when she gets a new book or something to go through. We might as well write off that room for the rest of the day.”

“But I left my boots in there.”

“Write 'em off. Not kidding.”

“Dammit.” he muttered, inspecting his bare feet “What am I supposed to do now?”

“Do what she said I guess? Go shopping. We're short on some stuff and it's hard for me to bring back a bunch at once.”

Raj rubbed the back of his head “Yeaah, I think I'm just gonna climb through a window and read something.”

“Oh, come on Raj. Don't make me do it by myself. I'm tired. Owlowiscious kept buzzing my basket all night and I didn't get any sleep.”

“Why did he do that?”

“I don't know. He's an owl.” Spike pointed out.

“Right, forgot.” Raj looked away for a second “Well, I don't know where the market is. I'll get lost.”

“It's that way.” Spike pointed “Maybe a ten minute walk. Ponyville is not a big village. If you somehow get lost, look for the library. You'll see it because it's a giant tree.”

“Um... I don't have any money?” Spike spat a column of green fire that solidified into a rattling coin purse. “Um, I don't know what we need?” He spat another flame that turned into a note with a list scrawled on it. Raj stared for a second, trying not to be amazed by the display and added “I'm illiterate.”

“Okay Raj,” Spike hopped up in a chair “Now you're just fishing for excuses, what's up?”

Rajrishi sighed “Okay, look, I'm a six and half foot tall, brown alien who's apparently a spawn of the Equestrian devil. Also, the only thing people around here know me for is that I got in a laser-fight with their princess. I think that might freak someone out.”

“Pshh,” Spike scoffed “that was a week ago. Nopony remembers that.”

“Holy Horseapples!” Came a shout from a yellow, red maned pony across the street “It's the monkey-thing that beat up Princess Luna! Run for your lives!” her words were followed by a panicked scream that gradually faded as she retreated.

“Yeah, I'm going back inside.” Raj reached for the window.

“Okay, that does not count. That was Roseluck, she freaks out about everything. She once lost her mind because of a bunch of rabbits.”

“I'm not gonna disrupt this whole town because I want oatmeal. I'm going back inside.”

“Dammit Raj!” declared Spike with a stomp. Raj turned back to him, surprised. “Yeah, that's right. I swore, and I meant it too! Please don't tell Twilight.”

“I won't.”

“Thank you. But my point still stands. You heard Twilight, it's going to take her a long time to find your home, and maybe longer to figure out how to get you there. You can't just hide the whole time, you're going to have to meet the world sometime Raj, might as well be now.”

Raj looked up at the tree, thinking. After a minute his shoulders slumped and he muttered “Fine, let's go.”

Spike nodded and waddled off the the center of town.

* * *

The trip to the Ponyville market was largely free of incident aside from curious glances from every pony on the way, a few even going so far as to stare out their windows at the strange creature walking through their town. Thankfully, the streets were far from choked with pedestrians.

The market was a different story. Ponies of every type manned stalls, moved product, or chatted with their neighbors in rough clusters. As he approached, most of them swiveled their heads to stare at him. Seeing so many ponies gathered in one place made Raj's hands sweat. He leaned forward “Spike, I feel kinda exposed here.”

“Chill Raj. You're just new. Give them time and they'll get used to you the same way they did to me.”

Raj raised an eyebrow “You got weird looks when you came to Ponyville?”

“Of course I did. I'm a dragon, most of the ponies around here had never seen one and they ended up looking at me just like that.” he pointed a thumb claw at a couple of gawking earth ponies lashed to a pair of idle taxis. “But now I know just about everypony in town.”

“I don't know Spike, you're at least, y'know, a native. I'm from really far away. Like, the furthest away.”

“And you think that matters? Pfft, don't worry Raj. As long as you're with me, everything is cool. Here I'll show you.” he took a quick glance around and shouted “Hey, Golden Harvest!” An orange maned mare next to a wagon of carrots took a quick glance around, as if to confirm she was being spoken to and waved back.

“Spike what the-” Raj sputtered.

“Shutup and meet my friend. Hey Goldie.” Spike propped himself up on her counter.

“Hi Spike. What's, um, what's up?” she asked, eyeing Raj curiously.

“Nothing much, I'm just showing my friend Rajrishi around town and introducing him to some ponies. Rajrishi, this is Golden Harvest.” he gestured to the mare. "Goldie, this is Rajrishi. He a space alien."

“Um, hello.” he said lamely.

“Hi there.” She gave a polite smile.

All three stood in awkward silence for a few seconds, staring at eachother blankly before Golden Harvest spoke up again “Um, is that... is that all you needed or were you going to buy something?”

“Nope, that's all. Thanks Goldie.” Spike hopped down and started to amble down the line of stalls. Raj looked between him and the mare, sputtered an apology and jogged to catch up. Spike looked up at him with a grin “See, that went fine. And you were worried.”

“Yeah, I suppose if my goal is to bother and baffle every pony in town I'll have no problems.” Raj said with a shake of his head. “I should just go back to library.”

“Don't give up before you even try Raj. Goldie didn't have a problem with you, neither will anypony else.” He nudged his leg “I'm sure everypony here will warm up to you eventually. I'm sure of it.”

“Hey!” came an angry voice from across the market. Both Raj and Spike turned to see a light blue pony with a blue, two toned mane clearly glaring at Rajrishi. “There it is everypony. It's that monster that attacked me two months ago. The thing that lived in the Everfree forest! It's here!”

Raj sighed “You have got to stop giving the universe openings like that Spike. I swear.”

Rajenstein

I had set out early, at the crack of dawn to be exact. It was pouring buckets that day, but I had a job to do.

Minuette heroically strode through the briar groves of the Everfree, coat snagging on dagger-like barbs. Heavy drops of rain soaked her to the bone, but she pressed on, ignoring the damp, the thorns, and the leering yellow eyes that stared at her from every patch of darkness.

After hours of trekking alone, she smelled in the air something foul. Like burning hair and mouldering ashes. Courageously, she walked towards the smell, intent on finding what danger it might signify.

In short order she came upon what could only be described as a lair. The ground was barren dirt, scorched by fire and reeking despite the hard rain. The trees were withered and dying, each marked with some foul smelling excretion from an even fouler creature. A strange box, muddied and reeking of carrion, hung from a vine lashed to a tree and from the corner of her eye she saw it sway and move, as it a creature inside were trying to escape. She scanned the place with a grimace, fearful of what might have made a place like this or, worse, would call it home.

She heard it before anything, snoring loudly in an echoing box made of iron clawed from the ground. She stood before it, made indecisive by fear. Then she remember her promise to her friend and her duty to equinekind to identify what was surely a grave threat.

Tentatively, she looked through a hanging covering, solid and without fear, and beheld a great beast.

Laying on a pile of moldy moss, was a massive, four-limbed monstrocity. Lank, greasy hair stretched all across the lair, strange limbs muscled beyond sense. Its grasping claws twitched in his slumber, reliving violence in its dreams. At his feet, slept a canine creature as black as coal.

She couldn't help it, she gasped at the sight of such horror, and the creature's monstrous senses picked homed in on her. Bloodshot, yellowing eyes snapped open and it lashed out with a roar, striking her across the face. She yelped and pulled away, dazed by the strike.

The beast's hound started barking and scrabbling, eager to be free and chase the interloper that dared infringe on it's territory.

Minuette took no chances. She spun and started bee-lining for ponyville, ignoring the severity of her own injuries in favor of warning the ponies of Ponyville to the threat so near their homes. The entire run, she could feel the creature following her back, looming after her like shadow.

* * *

“...and that's what happened two months ago.” Minuette concluded, a proud smile on her face.

“Oh, that's bullshit!” Raj cried from the other side of the market “It wasn't even raining hard that day!”

“Shutup you weird monster thing,” Minuette shouted back “That's what happened and you know it! Stop lying to everypony.”

“No, it isn't what happened. The ground wasn't burned, there was nothing alive inside that box, the trees were covered in monster repellant not 'excretions', and my camp wasn't even near the briar groves.” He ticked off reasons on his fingers.

The gathered ponies looked at him and one another, murmuring lightly. One of them called out “But, you did hit her, right?”

Raj lowered his arms “Well, um... yeah, yeah I did.” Gasps and mutters of alarm went through the crowd at the admission. Raj raised his voice to be heard “It was an accident! She surprised me and I reacted poorly. I thought she was a monster or something. I didn't know.”

His protests did nothing to stop the steadily building hysteria. Raj looked around helplessly for a minute before turning to the dragon at his side “Spike, help.”

The little guy nodded “Hey, Rajrishi isn't dangerous, okay? He's a nice guy once you get to know him.” He shouted his words, but the ponies had reached a fever pitch.

“I saw him fighting Luna last week. What was that about?”

“If he could fight the princess, what chance do the rest of us have?”

“Where did it come from? What does it want?”

“Who let it stay in the town at all?”

“Won't somepony PLEASE think of the children?”

“He's gonna hurt somepony!”

Raj grimaced “I never should have left the library. I should've stayed hidden until Twilight was done with her research. This was a mistake.” He turned to leave.

He didn't see who threw the first tomato, but she sure felt it splat against his back. He whipped back sharply, glaring across the crowd. “Really? Throwing fruit? Who did that? Which one you ridiculous people-” he cut off when another tomato splatted between his eyes.

“Um, Raj. Let's get out of here before this gets any uglier.” Spike grabbed his hand and pulled to lead him away.

“No Spike,” he pulled his hand free and wiped the tomato from his face “We're just going to have a conversation. No harm.” He glared at the ponies in the market “None at all.”

* * *

About ten minutes later Raj, sticky with mashed pulp, shouldered the door to the library open and swung around it, letting Spike in after him. A barrage of hurled fruit and discount vegetables followed him. Rajrishi slammed the door shut and slid down it. He shook his head and said “Okay, that did not go as planned.”

“You think?” Spike spat at him. “Why did you start throwing things back?”

“Look, I was mad okay? Nobody was listening, they kept throwing crap. It's not like I hit anyone.”

“No, but you knocked the wheel off Plowrun's wagon, with a butternut squash. It freaked everypony out.”

“I don't know how strong I am!” he shouted back, rising to his full height. He seethed for a minute before regaining his composure “Look, we're back in the library now. Everyone will calm down and we'll figure this out.”

“Hey!” Twilight yelled from the top of the stairs “Why is there an angry mob of ponies with pitchforks and torches outside the library?”

“Son of a-” Raj cut his curse off short and clenched and un-clenched his hands in frustration. He let out a slow sigh and trudged up the stairs to the balcony.

Sure enough, the ponies from the market and then some stood in front of the library, shouting discontent and waving farming implements and burning torches. “There it is! The creature that attacked Minuette!” a new wave of angry cries surged up from the assembled equines.

“Wow, they actually have pitchforks and torches. Like, real ones. That's almost impressive.” Raj groused with somewhat bland surprise.

Twilight propped herself up on the railing of her balcony “Alright everypony, what's going on here?”

A brown pony stood up from the crowd “We want that two legged creature out of our town!” a general murmur of agreement rippled through the crowd.

“Why? What did he do?” she asked.

“He hurt Minuette.” a mare shouted up at her.

"And he threw stuff at us!"

"He's dangerous! He got in a fight with the Princess."

"Won't somepony PLEASE think of the children?"

“And he broke mah wagon!” added Plowrun.

“Yeah!” shouted a dozen or so ponies in unison.

Her ears flattened “Well, if that did happen then I'm sure it was either a mistake or he had good reason.” she looked back at him questioningly.

“You're defending it? You... you're in league with it! Traitor!” a gasp of fear went through the crowd, a chorus of angry stomps joining in. Another pony added “I'll bet that it's not even from the Everfree. I think that Twilight made it in a lab or something. It's Sparkle's Monster!” murmurs of agreement joined the idea.

“What?” Raj asked, approaching the edge of the balcony “That's ridiculous. You're latching onto ignorance and calling it wisdom. You don't even know what you're saying.” Another tomato hit him in the chest. He wiped it off and screamed “Seriously, who keeps throwing those?”

“Everypony shut the Tartarus up!” came a voice from the back of the crowd that cut through the tumult.

The crowd split to reveal a plum colored pony wearing a fierce scowl “You all should be ashamed of how you've been acting.”

Raj furrowed his brow “I know that pony.”

A yellow pegasus scoffed “Pfft, how many have you had today Berry Punch? It's almost 3, so you're probably a bottle and a half deep?”

“Shutup Arrow, I'm sober as a judge you jerk.” The plum pony started walking forward “Rajrishi isn't dangerous you idiots. He's a good... whatever he is.”

“And how do you know that?” asked Plowrun.

Berry Punch glared at him and said “Because he saved my life.”

Raj's eyes widened as he remembered “The chimera...”

Berry explained to the crowd “He saved me from a chimera in the Everfree forest. If he hadn't been by, I wouldn't be standing here.”

Raj vaulted off the balcony, thudding heavily into the ground and startling some of the nearby mob. He paid them no mind and stared directly at Berry Punch “You were the mare in the woods. The one in the stump.”

She nodded “And you're the big, strong thing that fought off a bloodthirsty chimera and saved me and my cousin.”

“The brown pony. He was unconscious. Is he-”

She waved a hoof “Coconut. He's fine. Woke up about ten minutes after you left and was able to walk out on his own. Earth Ponies, we're built to last.” she smiled weakly “Thank you Rajrishi, for saving my life.”

“No problem.” he smiled back “It's what I do.”

“You hear that everypony, it's what he does!” she cast her gaze over the assembled mob “He saves ponies, not hurts them.”

“What about Minuette? He hurt her.”

“I'm not so sure about that. Minuette! I know you're there, come out.”

The crowd shuffled a bit and the blue pony in question stepped forward, glaring at the both of them “What are you doing Berry? Why are you siding with that thing?”

She ignored the question and shot back “I saw you the day you came back from the Everfree with your story and that bruise on your cheek. Is that what this is about, a bruise smaller than a bit?”

Minuette put a hoof to the spot where the bruise once was “Well, yeah I guess-”

“A bruise.” she called out “You're all going to kick the pony that saved my life, that saved my family, out of the village over a bruise?” She waited for an answer “No, no you're not.” She stomped a hoof “The way I see it, that buys him a blank slate, at the absolute least. And we don't do this to ponies with blank slates!” she hissed, eyes narrowed “Now all of you go home. You should all be embarrassed for acting like such fools. Go on, get out of here.”

The ponies in the mob looked around in confusion, some snubbing their torches in the dirt. The ones on the fringe of the crowd slunk away, likely hoping they could get away with denying they were ever a part of the mob. The rest moved away in ones and twos, heads low and eyes cast to the side. Minuette was one of the few remaining when she shot them both a venomous glare before spinning on a hoof and galloping away.

The last was Plowrun. He spat to the side and drawled “Ah expect a fixed cart in my barn come mornin'.” At that he ambled away.

Once the group was fully disbanded Raj turned to Berry Punch “Berry, thank you. I don't-”

She launched up and wrapped her legs around his waist in a hug “You owe me nothing Rajrishi.”

* * *

“...I just laid there with my eyes shut until your steps disappeared. All I could think to do was hide until Coconut started to stir. I got him on his hooves and we ran out of there and never looked back.” she took a drag from her cup of tea “I've never been more afraid in my whole life.”

“That's an awesome story Berry.” said Spike from his cushion, rocking back and forth in excitement “I liked the part where he punched the thing.”

“Thing punching is my forte Spike.” Raj shook his head “It was probably two days after that that Minuette showed up. What was she doing in there anyway?”

“Survey work for the Division of Seasons, gathering numbers on the burrows in the Everfree. She's on the animal crew again this year and she was trying to get her contribution out of the way before Winter Rollout begins this year.”

“Hmm.” Raj sounded into his teacup, pretending he understood what that meant.

“This is incredible.” said Twilight “I heard through the grapevine that something happened with a chimera in the Forest, but I wasn't sure I believed it. A chimera, this close to town... Er, not to say you're an unreliable source Berry.” she smiled weakly.

Berry Punch smirked at her “Twilight, I've worked for years to establish myself as the town lush. That comes with both good, and bad. I'd have suspicions too.” She drained her cup and set it on the floor.

Spike turned to his caretaker “Twilight, what's a lush?”

“I'll tell you when you're older.”

Berry laughed lightly “Rajrishi, I'm sorry for not stepping in earlier. I was there in the market, I should have spoken up then and headed off this whole mob business.”

Raj shrugged “It's fine. Tomatoes are far from the worst thing that's been thrown at me. Not your fault anyway, I blame the ridiculous jerks in that crowd.”

Berry simpered “That's... that's the other thing.” She lowered her head to her hooves “Please don't judge the ponies of this town harshly for what happened today, Minuette especially.”

“What? Why shouldn't I? They're all jerks, every single one of them.”

“No they're not, they're good, hard working ponies that got scared and swept up in hysteria. It happens.”

“It's true Raj.” Twilight piped in “Ponies, well, we are a herd species. We're really vulnerable to group-think and tribalism. Any perceived threat against one is a threat to the group. Most of those ponies probably didn't even know what was going on, they were just going along with the crowd.”

“And that makes it not their fault?” he asked with a sneer.

“No, it doesn't. I'm not saying they're not at fault, I'm just begging you not to be harsh on them. Most of those ponies are my friends. They're my neighbors and customers. Minuette has been my best friend for years, I know how she can be. I mean, I'd be lying if I didn't want to kick her in the face sometimes too, but you saw her and them at their worst today. Please give them another chance.” Berry looked up at him pleadingly.

Raj's mouth twitched and he let out a long breath. He reached up and ran a hand along his stained patka, resting on the knot on the back and fingering the comb underneath it. He said “I will try.”

She smiled brightly “That's all I can ask.” she stood “I should be going. Pinchy is probably very confused as to where I am. I live in the big building near the market with the painting of the bottle on it. If you ever need anything, come on by.” Berry shot him a quick wink “Especially something with a high proof.”

Berry Punch said goodbye to Spike and Twilight and trotted out. After a minute Raj laughed a bit and said “You know the worst part, we still don't have any food.”

Twilight giggled “I'm sure Spike can find something for the day.”

“Oh, you can bet I will. How does ketchup-braised potato slices sound.” the little dragon waddled into the kitchen with an optimistic look on his face.

Twilight hid her grimace and looked over at her human friend “Raj, thank you for giving Ponyville and its villagers another chance like this. I think it's very mature of you.”

Raj gave her a sideways glance and a light smirk “Yeah, 'mature', right. Was your first day in Ponyville this crappy?”

Twilight paused in thought and snorted in laughter “Oh Raj, do I have a story to tell you.”

Impatient Rewards

“So they had actual pitchforks and torches?” asked Applejack, eyebrows raised.

“I know, right? What is up with this town?” Raj leaned on the table, arms crossed.

Spike shrugged “Eh, so much weird stuff happens in this town, I wouldn't be surprised if ponies kept that kind of stuff on hoof for whatever might come up. You remember the Cutie Pox Applejack? How everypony had those gas-masks just around.”

“Oh yeah, ah forgot about that. And Pinkie Pie keeps balls stashed everywhere for ball emergencies.” she sipped her drink “Maybe ah'm the weird one for not hiding random stuff all over town.”

Raj furrowed his brow “Ball emergency? What on earth could a ball emergency be?” Raj paused “No wait, don't say anything. It can't be funnier than what I'm imagining.”

Spike and Applejack laughed amicably, enjoying the joke. Applejack smiled “It's good to see you again Rajrishi. Ah felt terrible after what happened with the Diamond Dogs last month, it warms mah heart to see you doing okay, especially you not livin' in the Everfree no more. Place like that ain't fit fer nopony to call home.”

“I don't know.” he answered with a faint smirk “It had it's charms. I mean, don't get me wrong, if you told me I had to go back to living there, I think I'd fight you tooth and nail, but looking back on it there were things I like. Food was good, plenty of fresh air, and you always knew where you stood with your neighbors.”

Applejack's eyebrows shot up her forehead “Weren't yall's neighbors monsters and whatnot? Timberwolves and Hydras and Chimeras and other dangerous critters?”

“Yeah. It was great. If we saw each other, we tried to kill each other. Always knew where you stood.” he replied rather wistfully.

Applejack blinked “Uh... huh. Well, ah just wish the family had someone mindin' a stall at market. If'n me, Mac, or Granny saw all that hubbub going on with Minuette and the other ponyfolk, we'da stopped it lickety split!”

Raj shrugged “Meh, no real harm done. Berry Punch chastised everyone and I've been left alone every time I've gone out since. I'm not particularly interested in making friends with anyone else, so this works for me.”

“Not even Golden Harvest? But I introduced you.” Spike chimed in “She's a great pony, what's wrong with her?”

“Nothing. I'm sure she's a perfectly nice pers-pony. Nice pony. But, I don't know. Just not particularly interested in making more friends.” He shrugged again. “Anyway, I'm not planning on being in Equestria much longer, so I don't want to make it harder when I go.”

“You can never have too many friends Rajrishi.” said Applejack.

Raj went silent in thought for a second, taking a sip from his drink to buy time. Thankfully, he was saved when Twilight poked through the door to the basement and said “Raj, can you come down to the lab for a bit? I need your help with a test.”

“What? More mad science?” Raj asked, incredulous.

“I call dibs on his neat axes!” hollered Spike.

“Oh no you don't gecko, if Twilight kills me those go back to Applejack.”

“Yer darn tootin' they do.” Applejack shot in.

“Fine, then I'll take that neat comb of yours.” he pointed at Raj's wrapped patka.

“You have scales though. That's, like, the one thing you can't use.”

Spike shrugged “I don't know. I'll use it on Rarity or something, or a cat.”

Raj nodded “Oh yeah, I forgot about your, um, completely normal infatuation with Rarity. Sure Spike, if Twilight kills me with one of her ridiculous experiments, you can have my comb.” he put his hand on the dragon's shoulder dramatically.

“Would just come into the basement for pony's sake!” Twilight shouted at them, earning some laughter from the both of them.

“Ah supposed ah'll be getting' on home then. Help Granny with lunch some. You should come on by sometime Rajrishi. I know Bloom would love to see ya n' yer pooch misses ya something fierce.”

“Eh, it's been a month. I doubt he even remembers me. Later AJ.” Raj followed after her into the basement, smiling broadly. Twilight walked with her head low and a flinty look on her face. Raj nudged her side “Come off it Twilight. We were just joking. It's fine.”

She pouted “It's not fine. You and Spike are always being jerks about my work. You feed off each other, teasing me back and forth. It sucks.”

“We tease out of love?” Raj offered back lamely.

“Whatever,” she grumped “these experiments are important. They tell me more about you and how Equestria is changing you. My strength test showed where your upper limit is.” She gestured a hoof an array of pulleys attached to an excess of anvils. “And the spell range showed us how potent your magical resistance is.” she pointed at a scorched metal backdrop with a curiously human shaped silhouette cast into it.

Raj winced at it “Was not a fan of that one.”

“These tests are important, Rajrishi.” She jabbed his chest with a hoof “The more we understand you and how you work, the better we'll be able to deal with any future problems. What if you got sick? Or hurt? Nopony in Equestria has studied human biology before, how would we treat you? What cures a pony might make you worse!”

He shrugged “Just get Luna to do her glowy thing again. Worked last time.”

“That cost her serious energy she's never going to get back. You're lucky she did it at all!” She lectured, brow furrowed. “These tests aren't just practical either. They're to advance all of Equestrian knowledge. To learn more about ourselves through you. It's important, and I don't appreciate being called a mad scientist for having a healthy, academic curiosity.” she declared with a hard stamp of a hoof.

Raj rolled his eyes “Alright, I get it. I'm sorry I called you a mad scientist.”

Twilight nodded “Good. Thank you.”

“Welcome,” Raj sat in his exam chair “so what are we doing today?”

Her horn lit up and floated over a distressingly large needle with a hose leading to a small bag “I'm going to siphon out your blood.”

Raj eyed the needle “How about we don't do that?”

“Rajrishi! You said you would help me.”

“I said no such thing. I said I was sorry for making fun of you, then you grabbed a needle bigger than god and said you were going to put it in me. This was a trap, I was tricked.”

“You weren't tricked Rajrishi.” she said, her voice tense.

“Fine, I was misled.” he corrected, rolling his hand sarcastically “Do you even have training for this sort of thing? Are you a nurse? Or a medic?”

She looked askance “Um, no. Look, it's not that hard. I just put this band on you to draw your vein to the surface, and then I slide this needle into your foreleg-”

“It's called an arm Twilight, not a foreleg. Arm. You don't even know the name of the thing you're going to be stabbing. Screw this.” He started to stand.

“RAJRISHI!” she shouted at him, eyes wide “I have been very patient with you this last week. I have asked very little of you and let you lounge around my home as much as you want. I've done all this, on the assumption that you would actually help me do what you asked me to do, which you have largely failed at. Now sit down, I don't have time for this sh... stuff.” she managed to say, cutting off a curse. “Princess Luna is supposed to be coming back today so we can compare notes, and I want to get this done before-”

“Twilight!” Spike's voice sounded from upstairs “The Princess is here!”

“That! Before that happens. Urrgh! Look, just hold still. This will only hurt for a second.” She floated the syringe over to him.

“You don't know that. You just said you know nothing about human biology.” Twilight shot him a withering glare and Raj winced “Fine, just... hurry up.”

“Sure, just want to line... this... up.” She leaned close and focused, aiming for a vein with the needle floating in her magic.

“Twilight Sparkle!” bellowed Luna from upstairs.

“Gah!” Twilight jumped at the voice, the needle going wide and lightly scratching along Raj's arm

“Ow.” Raj winced, his arm going tense. “Why?”

“Sorry! Are you okay?” Twilight sputtered, a pained look on her face.

“Fine, I'm fine.” Raj sat up and examined himself “You really aren't trained for this, are you?”

“Did we come at a bad time?” asked Luna from the overhead walkway. “Should we return at a later date?”

“No! Um, we, uh...” her gaze flipped back and forth between Luna and Raj.

Raj waved his hand at the princess “Hi Luna. No, it's fine. We're not doing anything important.”

“Excellent! Return to the foyer posthaste! We come bearing news of much gravity.” she turned about and trotted into the library proper.

Raj and Twilight followed after to see Luna sitting at the big table with one of the big black skymaps unfurled across it. “Greetings Twilight Sparkle. I assume you are well?”

“Yes, um, thank you Princess.” Twilight smiled shyly and gave a deep bow.

Raj nodded at her and said tersely “Luna.”

She nodded back “Rajrishi.” she swung her foreleg over the map. “Behold, your planet hath been discovered.”

“Wait, what?” Raj blinked “It has?”

“Indeed. We discovered it last night at half past the midnight hour. A pulsing yellow dwarf with a twenty-five day rotational period orbited by four inner planets, a drifting asteroid belt, and then two large gas giants, one of which possesses rather exquisite rings.” She tapped a hoof on a spot against the map “We believe that this is your solar system Rajrishi, and within it your world.”

Raj stepped closer and squinted at a tiny, glimmering spot on the map. He looked back up to Luna and shakily asked “And you're sure about this?”

She nodded “Indeed. Though these maps are a thousand years out of date, such an amount of time is largely insignificant in terms of celestial movement. There is no other solar system on my maps that matches the criteria thou provided. These are thine worlds Rajrishi.” She said with a note of finality, a slight smile on her face at the accomplishment.

Raj stared at the twinkling speck on the map and sat down bonelessly, staring forward.

Twilight came up and nudged his shoulder “Raj? Are you okay? This is great news? Why aren't you excited?”

“I am, I, uh, I am. Trust me.” He put a hand against his head. “I just... I wasn't expecting this today. It's, it's right there. Just, sitting in the sky like that.”

“We believe that Twilight Sparkle can find thine planet in the sky for thou, if thee desire to witness it with the naked eye.”

Raj looked up at Luna sharply, his face in a delirious smile. “That would be great. Thank you Luna.” He took a breath and swallowed, steadying himself. “Okay then, now what? Where do we go from here?”

Luna cocked her head “Hmm? We are afraid we do not understand what you mean.”

“He wants to know how we can get him there. How can we get him home.” interjected Twilight.

“Ah, well.” she went silent for a moment staring at the map “We are afraid that is... unlikely.”

“Buh?” both Raj and Twilight asked.

“Your 'Earth', Rajrishi, is more than twenty light years distant from Equestria. Such a distance is an insurmountable barrier to travel.” she went quiet for a moment “We are sorry.”

“But... no. That can't be.” he said back, his voice low “I've seen Twilight teleport plenty of times. Can't she just do that to get there?”

“Certainly not. Teleportation is an exponentially costly process the further the distance. Moving across a room takes a small amount of power, one town to another is more than most unicorns will ever be able to muster. A teleportation of that magnitude would take more energy than is reasonably fathomable. If Celestia and mineself lent our power to such an endeavor, it would be a miracle to project something of thine size even half that distance. And such an action would leave us both as withered, ruined husks.” She sat on the floor lightly “As far as our magical knowledge is concerned, getting you back to thine world is impossible.”

Rajrishi sat very quietly at that, looking down at the floor and holding the edge of the table. The two ponies in the room were equally silent, staring at him tensely.

Raj took a deep breath through his nose and let it out slowly, his eyes closed. “I'm, I'm gonna go for a walk.”

Twilight frowned “Um, are you sure Rajrishi? Don't you wanna talk about what Luna-”

“Going for a walk.” Raj answered back tonelessly as he stood up and started for the door.

Twilight took a few steps after him “Are you... coming back?”

“A walk.” he replied again as the door closed gently.

Twilight turned back to Luna “What should we do?” she asked the alicorn, her voice cracking with worry.”

Luna didn't answer back. She just looked down at the indents Raj had squeezed into the table.

* * *

About ten minutes later Luna caught up to him near the edge of town, heading north.

She landed heavily, wings fluttering once before tucking in. She dropped into step next to him and asked “Where are you traveling Rajrishi?”

“Everfree.” he grunted back.

“Hm. May we ask why?”

“Whatever got me here came from there. If it got me here, it can get me back.”

“Sound reasoning. We see a flaw though. Several actually.” she looked up at him “But we believe that thou art aware of them as well.”

“Yup.”

“Yet thee still persist?”

“Yup.” he repeated.

“Setting out on a course of action that is dangerous, fruitless, and both of those facts are already known. Hmm, thou hast given us a new definition for the word 'idiocy'. Our thanks.”

Raj sneered “Screw off Princess.”

“And now thou resorts to petty insults.”she flapped her wings and moved in front of him, blocking his path “Mayhap thee could move on to pelting me with mud or tugging upon mine pigtails. Even so far as to present an insect to me 'pon a leaf in an effort to disgust me. All would a parallel move for thine skill at oratory.”

“What the hell do you want from me Luna?” Raj shouted, arms held wide “You just told me that it's impossible for you or anyone to get me home. And something in that forest clearly already did it. Why should I stay here?”

“You misquote me, sir.” she said back, tone icy “We said that it is impossible as far as our magical knowledge is concerned. Many things I previously believed impossible have been corrected. A year ago, I believed it impossible that mere ponies would find the heart to imprison Discord, or that months later they would be able to reform him to some use. Six months ago I believed it was impossible that the Crystal Empire would emerge, more powerful and glorious than ever. And at the start of this month, I believed it was impossible that I would ever have an amicable conversation with one of Briarus' favored spawn. And yet each has occurred. One is occurring at this very moment.” She smiled slightly, chest puffed out.

Raj went silent, looking at the ground helplessly “Then what, what should I do?”

“Trust Twilight Sparkle.” she answered with finality “If there is any way to achieve what thee needs, she will find it. We have witnessed Twilight Sparkle perform feats of the arcane that go beyond anything we have witnessed ponies performing before. Her skills at enchantment and spell-threading completely outstrip Archmage Starswirl in his prime and she is gifted with both a razor-keen intellect and a studious nature that belies her years. She has sworn to research your issue to the greatest of her abilities. Thou could not be in finer hooves.”

Raj matched her gaze, staring at her enormous eyes. He let out a long sigh and said “Okay... okay Luna. I'll try.”

“Excellent. We are mollified. In the meanwhile, we have a task for thou.”

Raj raised an eyebrow “What? A task?”

“Indeed. It has come to our attention that thine presence in Ponyville has been met with, what can be charitably described as, 'unrest'. Is that correct?”

“A bit of an understatement, but yes.”

“Excellent, then this assignment fulfills both our aims. Thine maligned presence in this town will be mollified and mine debt for our rash actions the week previous will be repaid. Rajrishi Singh Oberoi?”

Raj furrowed his brow “Who told you my full name?”

“I, Princess Luna of Equestria,” She started reciting, voice raising in volume sharply “do hereby declare the re-founding of the Lunar Military Police, First Battalion, for the stated purpose of defending the township of Ponyville and the ponies within, from any and all exterior and interior threats. I do this with the authority granted to me as Diarch of Equestria, so proclaimed by The Faustmare. So I proclaim, so it is done.” She finished with a satisfied smile. “And thou, Rajrishi Singh Oberoi, do I name to be the Captain of this force.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Raj asked, looking confused.

“We are giving you a responsibility to this community, an important function for you to perform. We are aware of thine capabilities in combat and we have observed intelligence and lucid judgment from thou. The ponies Applejack, Fluttershy, and Twilight Sparkle speak to thine character and thou have demonstrated courage on numerous occasions. From thine speech and bearing, we have determined that thou art a member of thine world's military force and our worlds seem similar enough for the regulations of conduct and action to have translated. I have faith that thou would serve with distinction as the first Captain of the revived Lunar Army.”

“You know I'm not a pony right? Like, not even a little bit?”

“I are aware yes. But if thou wishes to integrate with this town and learn of Equestria at large, taking up a role that will thrust thyself into interactions with ponydom is the best way to accomplish that. Just as I have done. Thou are not the only one unfamiliar with modern Equestria. We trust thou have heard the tale of Nightmare Moon from the last Summer Sun Celebration?”

He nodded “Yeah, Twilight told me about it.”

“Good, then thou knows I am a thousand years divorced from the Equestria I have known. Equestria surprises me every day with some new change. Even after more than a year, it is a daily struggle to simply exist in this modern setting.” she frowned a little “And I believe that it will be an even harder struggle for thineself. But this appointment will give thou a leg up, so to speak.”

Raj looked down, thinking hard. He looked past her at the looming Everfree Forest, as dark and shrouded as he remembered, then back to Luna standing solid with her dancing mane full of stars.

After a minute's consideration, he asked “Does it come with a uniform or a badge?”

“Neither. A pair of epaulets and a large hat.”

“I like hats.” Raj smiled.

Frog in the Throat

“Come on everypony! Buy one get one free, tell your friends.” the heavy stallion bellowed from the front of his store, a throng of ponies gathered around his tables of fresh vegetables to pick their orders. “First autumn squashes, right here everypony. Fresh from my wife's garden. Gonna go fast, get 'em while you can!” Most were clamoring for his attention, hoping to haggle an even better deal out of the salespony. It's no wonder he didn't see the little orange colt creeping to the front of the pack.

The young pony glanced around, breathing heavy for a minute before the salespony turned his head away. The colt darted forward, snatched a single pumpkin from the table and started to run. A stallion turned to a customer and saw the boy's cropped, blue tail waving away with the orange gourd bouncing on his back.

The salespony's eyes widened “Hey! Somepony stop that thievin' colt!” He started to give chase, but the mass of ponies in front of his stall blocked him. He rose up on his backlegs to see the little pony scamper down an alley between a pair of houses. “Somepony help!”

The colt turned to look behind him and saw nothing but empty alleyway behind him. He grinned to himself, breathing relief, and turned his view back to the front. He caught sight of something tall wearing a pointed hat before he ran headlong into. The colt let out a grunt of surprise as he bounced back, the pumpkin launching off his back and into the air.

The gourd sailed up, hung a moment, and neatly dropped into Raj's outstretched hand. He inspected it for a moment and flicked his eyes down to the prone pony. He said “Bad luck kid.” and reached down to the colt. He cried out and tried to scrabble away but Raj grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and lifted him straight up.

The little pony squirmed and wriggled “Put me down! Let me go!”

“Nope.” Raj replied nonchalantly and started back to the market, the squirming thief held at arm's length.

The heavy salespony met him halfway, huffing and out of breath “That... colt...”

“Stole this? Yeah I figured.” He handed the small pumpkin back to the stallion. “Any idea who this belongs to?” He held up the pouting child.

The salespony narrowed his eyes “That's First Base, Davenport's boy! You were always such a good kid First, who put you up to this?”

The colt looked down and covered his face with his hooves. Raj pulled him back and tucked him under an arm “Alright, I'll see he gets back there. Davenport's the owner of Quills & Sofas, right?”

“Yeah, lives in the loft over it too.”

“You wanna press charges?” Raj asked.

He looked at the cowering pony held loosely under Raj's arm and shook his head “Nah, I got my pumpkin back. No harm done.”

“Alright.” He looked down at the foal under his arm. “Now, you wanna apologize to Mr. Squash, or do I need to tell your Dad you refused to?” First Base looked down more and closed his eyes, muttering something that could have been an apology. “Good enough. As you were Mr. Squash.”

He nodded “Thank you for the help Captain Rajrishi.”

Raj adjusted his peaked cap. “Just doing my job sir.” he spun on a heel and walked off, delinquent foal tucked under his arm.

* * *

“...and after that I pretty much just patrolled around all day before coming here.” Raj finished his story and set down his mug of coffee.

“Wowie, First Base did that? That's a big surprise. He's never done anything like that!” said Pinkie from across the table.

Raj shrugged “Meh, he's a kid. Kid's do stupid stuff. It's not indicative of who he's gonna be the rest of his life.”

“Pinkie! We have a line!” shouted Carrot Cake from behind the counter.

“Oopsgottarunbye!” Pinkie quickly jabbered and zipped back to her post, hoofing over confections and receiving bits in short order.

Raj adjusted his new jacket some and leaned back, enjoying the general atmosphere of Sugarcube Corner. The ponies that came in either gave him brief nods of acknowledgment or didn't notice him at all, both of which were perfectly fine to him.

Within a few minutes the line of customers was handled and Pinkie appeared in front of him again. “Sorry about that. Mrs. Cake is sick upstairs and we're a little short-hoofed.”

“Not a problem Pinkie, I'm in no rush.” He took a drag of his drink and smiled “You Cakes sure know how to make a good cup of coffee though.”

Pinkie giggled “Hee, you're just saying that cause it's free.”

“Free helps.” he replied before draining his cup.

The bell above the door jingled. Raj’s eyes flicked over and saw a yellow pegasus wrapped in a shawl followed by, inexplicably enough, a flying tortoise held aloft by a whirring propeller.

“Hey! Hey Fluttershy! Over here!” Pinkie hopped up and down, waving a hoof at the yellow pony. Fluttershy looked around like there was a chance someone else was being called to. She pointed a hoof at her chest and mouthed "Me?" before Pinkie's eager nods brought her over to the table.

“Hello Pinkie.” she said quietly. “Hi Rajrishi. It's been a while.”

“Yeah, it has. Hi Fluttershy. Um, before we go any further. Everyone else sees the flying turtle, right? Like, that's not just me?”

Pinkie's eyes narrowed for a second and then she snorted “Um, what turtle Raj?”

Fluttershy let out a startled yelp as Pinkie elbowed her in the ribs. “Oh! I, uh, I don't see a turtle either... Rajrishi.”

His eye twitched “Dammit, what's in this stuff?” He looked into his mug “I should really stop accepting free drinks from ponies. It never ends well.”

Pinkie held her composure for all of fifteen seconds before letting out a loud snort that transitioned into a mad giggle. “Hee hee, of course he's there! That's Tank, Dashie's pet!” She reached up and pulled the reptile down to the table where he defensively drew into his shell, as such creatures are wont to do. “And he's a tortoise, not a turtle.” Pinkie somehow smiled wider and leaned against Fluttershy “Thanks for playing along on such short notice Flutters, I couldn't resist a setup like that.”

Fluttershy chuckled with her friend “Not a problem Pinkie. It was pretty funny.”

“You know I'm a cop now. I can arrest you both. I don't even need probable cause.”

Both mares snickered at his threat, enjoying the little play at his expense. Fluttershy continued “But, um, yes. This is Tank the Tortoise. I'm taking care of him while Rainbow Dash is away for more weather training. So...” she looked him up and down “How's our new Captain doing?”

“Pretty well. Luna beat me up and gave me a job. Kinda weird way to do things, but it works for me.”

“Doesn't he look swanky? I mean, check out these thingies on his shoulders!” She batted at his dangling silver epaulets. She rose up from the other side of the table, somehow wearing his cap “And this hat! It just screams 'Stop criminal scum! I'm Captain Rajamathong, and I'm gonna punch your butts! Grrr!” Pinkie's imitation melted and she burst into helpless laughter.

Raj plucked his cap off her poofy mane and set it back on the table. “Butt punching aside, it's been going pretty well so far. I actually caught a criminal earlier today. Caught him in the act committing grand theft gourd. He even got grounded for it. Justice.” he gave a quick pump of his arm.

“Sorry our little village isn't more exciting for you Rajrishi.” Fluttershy's eyes bugged a bit and she fell into a fit of coughing. “Blegh.” Her shoulders slumped, and she wavered a tad.

Pinkie cocked her head “You okay Fluttershy? You don't sound good.”

“No, I'm fine.” She shook her head and smiled “Well, I will be. It's just a bug. I think it's going around town. I had my weekly spa date with Rarity today, but she canceled at the last minute. I guess she's sick too.”

“Weird. Pinkie told me that Mrs. Cake is sick as well.”

Fluttershy shrugged “Well, it's a small town. If enough of us get sick, we all get sick. It happens.”

“Well, I know just what'll fix you up.” Pinkie squeaked as she trotted over to a display rack. “A few of Mrs. Cake's Super-Duper Lemon Spritz Muffins. With extra Vitamin C!” she pulled the case open to find the rack barren aside from a few errant crumbs. To her credit, her smile only faltered the smallest bit “As soon as I make some more. Be right back!” Pinkie zipped away into the kitchen.

The last customer from the recent surge trotted out the door. Mr. Cake followed after and flipped the sign in the window to closed. He turned to the two of them at them at the table “Sorry everypony, we're closing early. Please make your final purchases.”

“Oh, oh my.” Fluttershy trotted over to the displays, just then remembering that she came into the store to buy a few things.

Raj stood up “Sorry to hear that Mr. Cake. Pinkie not as much of a help as you'd figured?”

“Far from it. Pinkie's an angel. But Cup's sick and-” he barked a few coughs into his hoof “-and I'm coming down with it too, I can't keep up. I haven't checked on her or the twins in hours!”

“Alright, can I get one to go then?” He held up his empty mug and shook it. The tall pony nodded and moved to the machine.

Raj had been waiting only a few seconds when he heard a great thump come from the second floor. His eyes flicked up, and a moment later another thump sounded through the building. The second one was enough to draw the attention of Fluttershy and Mr. Cake. The third hit hard enough to shake the lights hanging from the ceiling.

Evenly, Raj asked “Carrot, what's up there?”

“Our bedroom. Cup!” he trotted over to the stairs, letting the coffee flow onto the tile “Cup! Dumpling! Are you okay?” He started towards the stairs at a brisk pace.

Raj warily followed at a slight distance. He heard another thump and a moment later, a blue mare crash into the wall of the stairway hard enough to bow the siding.

“Cup!” shouted Carrot Cake, breaking into a sprint towards his wife.

“Help me! I can't-” She tried to stand up but her legs sprung up powerfully and she knocked against the ceiling. She landed on the floor, strangely jointed legs coiling tight, and bounded forward, taking a header down the staircase.

To his credit, Mr. Cake tried to catch his wife, but the wiry pony was not able to arrest his portly wife's momentum and she just bowled him over, continuing her suicide dive down the steps.

Thankfully, Rajrishi was made of sterner stuff. He braced himself fully and took the hit, knocking the air out of his lungs and tilting him off the step. He teetered backwards and fell down in a tangle of limbs, striking his head on the hardwood floor with a loud crack.

Cup struggled and writhed, weirdly angled rear legs kicking and coiling randomly. Her eyes were glazed over with fever and nonsense sputtered from her mouth. He clutched her tightly, keeping her from springing all over the shop. Carrot called out his wife's name in an effort to drive sense into her. “Cup! Cup Cake! Get a hold of yourself!” An unlucky flail struck Raj in the groin. He made an un-manly sound and his grip loosened.

Cup Cake stood up, showing off her reverse-jointed hindlegs for everyone to see and drew in a deep breath. She started to say something but it was lost when her face went blank and a loud croak sounded from deep inside her, her throat bulging out enough the pliable surface pressed against Raj's face.

Everyone in the shop was understandably caught off guard, including Cup Cake who simply stood on Raj's chest with a blank look on her face. After a moment her eyes rolled up into her head and she pitched to the side, very, very unconscious.

Carrot Cake went to his wife, crying and checking her state. Fluttershy flew over to Raj's side, fear in her voice “Rajrishi!”

Raj sat up sharply. “We need to get to the library.”

* * *

“It's called Froggy Flu,” explained Twilight “and it's supposed to have been eradicated.”

“Well, it's not.” complained Raj from his seat across the table, a bag of frozen peas pressed against the back of his head and another between his legs. “Cup Cake has it. She really, really has it.”

“That didn't make sense.” said Spike.

“I will punch you in the forehead Spike. I am not in the mood.”

“But he's right Rajrishi, it doesn't make sense. Froggy Flu was wiped out more than a century ago. The last reported case was a single earth pony in Hoofburg one-hundred-and-one years ago. Since then, nothing. Heck, most communities stopped immunizing against it a long time ago.”

“Well, I don't know. Someone licked a toad and it came back. Argue about it all you want, it's here, and it's turning people into reptiles.”

“Amphibians.”

“I swear to god Spike! Forehead!”

“Well, I've never heard of it. What does the Froggy Flu do to ponies?” asked Fluttershy.

“Glad you asked Fluttershy. Ahem,” Twilight cleared her throat and floated over a large tome. “Anura Influenza is a virus of the aethyric genus of unknown origin that afflicts any and all hoofed mammal species. Posited origins include creation by the Dark Warlock Mehoophsto, generation by the Rakshasa Maharajas from far off Quay, a by-product of Ogime the Frog Queen's ire, or, as some scholars believe, a result of a failed-”

“Twilight, relevance.” Raj interrupted.

“Oh, um, right. Of course, I'll just skip ahead a bit...” She flipped past a dozen or so pages “Ah, here we are. Vectors: Froggy Flu is spread via bodily fluid transmission and airborne vectors, making it one of the most communicable illnesses in Equestrian history. Symptoms: The Froggy Flu presents with fever, chills, dry mouth, and ache in the extremities and neck. These symptoms eventually include mutation of the legs into a spring-like structure designed for leaping and squatting and the generation of a 'croaking sac' in the neck that generates a throaty chirp intermittently. As most creatures do not have experience managing their new limbs, they are unable to control themselves and are likely to injure themselves and others with uncontrolled, powerful leaps. Some patients have also presented a growth to their tongue and the spontaneous desire to feed on insects.” Twilight's brow furrowed and she shuddered “Ewww.”

“Okay, well... that's absolutely terrifying in a hundred different ways.” huffed Rajrishi

“Does it go away on it's own Twilight? Do we just need to wait it out?”

She poked deeper into the book and her face went grim “No, it doesn't. Unless cured, the changes Froggy Flu renders to it's subject are permanent.” She floated the book around to show a picture of an old, haggard pony with distended legs. Underneath, it stated that he had been infected seventy years prior to the photo. “But there is good new, there is a cure.”

“Oh thank god. What is it? Antibiotics? Green Tea?”

“A shiatsu massage?” offered Spike.

“Yeah, a shiatsu massage. Will that do it? I have no idea how magic works.”

“No, no, it's nothing that easy.” Twilight sighed and lifted over a map and unfurled it across the table. “The cure is a paste made of goldenrod, arrowroot, and an herb called troll's beard.” Twilight frowned “Troll's beard is the problem. It's incredibly rare, some ponies think it's actually extinct.”

Spike's eyes shot wide “So, we're all going to be frogs and there's nothing anypony can do about it?” he clutched at his frills and grimaced.

“No, there is something that can be done. Troll's beard is supposed to grow here.” she tapped a hoof on the map, far away from Ponyville.

Fluttershy examined the map closely and her eyes widened “Twilight, that's on the edge of Equestria.”

“I know. It's really, really far.”

Raj came up to look it over “Is there a train that goes there?”

“No. The nearest tracks miss it by a hundred miles.”

Raj shrugged “Better than nothing. I can walk a hundred miles in a few days, search around the woods to find this beard stuff, and bring enough back for the whole town.”

“Well, you'd only need to bring a sample back. If I have a fresh piece I can synthesize more with some spells I know.”

“I'll get as much as I can anyway. If I come back and you think you're a frog, I'll need to cure as many ponies as I can.”

“Point.” Twilight conceded.

“Wait, you're going, just like that?” Fluttershy asked, voice thick with worry.

Raj stepped back a bit “Well, yeah. I am. I'm the only one in town who can't have the damn flu. Anyone else comes with, best case scenario, they frog out halfway there and are useless. Worst case, they cause a pandemic across Equestria and a bunch of ponies could die.”

“B-but it's so far, you'll be all alone! And there could be monsters and-”

“Don't worry about him Fluttershy. I'll be there to keep him safe.” Spike proudly pointed a thumb at his chest.

“No you won't Spike.” said Twilight flatly.

The little dragon deflated “But... why not?”

“Your the only lifeline to the Princess we have. If things get bad here, I'll need you to contact the Princesses. They might be able to figure something out if the plan doesn't work.”

“Oh... okay. That makes sense.” Spike said sadly.

“Hey, you've got the harder job little guy. I just have to find a plant. You have a town of ponies to look after. I mean, look outside.” Raj pulled the curtain from the window to show the street outside. Out there, half a dozen or so ponies had their back legs twisted into hopping legs and they were bouncing around listlessly in a fevered fugue, croaking all the while. As they watched, a grey pegasus with a blonde main croaked and lashed out a long tongue to snatch up a mosquito. The instant she realized what she had done she started vomiting in the street. Raj's eyes widened “Holy crap...”

Spike smiled “Eh, I can handle it. I'll just herd 'em all in the town hall. I'll get Owlowiscious to help. Tank too, he's pretty dependable.” Spike looked up at the aerial tortoise lazily drifting around the room.

“See, already coming up with plans.” He turned back to Fluttershy “So... yes. In answer to your question, I am going by myself.”

Fluttershy started panting hard with concern, her wings flapping absently. Suddenly, she went still “Wait, there is somepony you can take with you!”

Raj cocked an eyebrow “Okay, who?”

Fluttershy staggered over to the table and flipped open a record book “I learned this back when I looking into a few illnesses my animal friends contracted. A little town outside Ponyville had a mayor a long time ago that put a lot of work into making sure all the town's children were vaccinated against every disease they could. He was kicked out of office because he emptied the budget, but a whole generation of children were immunized against Froggy Flu.”

“What? Let me see that.” Twilight scooted in to see the book and scanned it quickly “She's right. Shale Sediment, Mayor of Flint Hamlet seventeen years ago.”

Raj widened his eyes in surprise “Okay, that's awesome. Go Fluttershy knowing random stuff. So is there anyone in town who's from there?”

Fluttershy opened her mouth to speak but all that came out was a loud croak and her throat bulged out. Her face went blank and she mumbled “That was... disorienting...” and she flopped over onto a cushion.

Both Raj and Twilight stared at her for a moment before Raj repeated “So is there anyone in town who's from there?”

Twilight scanned the page “Gimme one second...”

A bit of movement caught his eye and he looked outside. He saw that the frog-ponies had been arranged into a rough circle and standing in between them was a fluffy haired, pink mare that was trying to entice them to croak in unison with each other. Faintly, he could hear her crying out “And a-one, and a-two, and a-croak!” only one of the frog-ponies met her rhythm and she belted out “It's okay froggies, you'll get it. One more time, from the top!”

“Here it is,” Twilight said as she found the name “Pinkie-”

“-Pie.” Raj finished. “Of course it's Pinkie Pie.”

Spike looked up at him “What's wrong. I thought you like Pinkie Pie?”

“There's a difference between liking someone and wanting to go with them on a long distance road trip that has real consequences.” He wiped his face with a hand “This is gonna suck.”

Author's Note

So, I was not expecting so much positive feedback for Raj's new hat. Ya'll are crazy for accessories.

This is what I had in mind for the hat, except with silver trim instead of gold. And because you're all such good kids, this is what his epaulets look like. Happy fawning.

Verdant Monuments

Pinkie squealed joyously as she yanked on the cord for the steam whistle again, filling the tall forest with its shrill call. What birds and creatures hadn't retreated from their train's approach cried their annoyance as they took flight. Pinkie nudged Raj in his seat “Hey, hey Rajy. Rajy!”

Raj snorted awake, looking around in confusion “Snnrkt, huh? What? What's happening?” He looked at her moving mouth and pulled out the wads of corking muting his ears “What'd you say?”

Pinkie pointed up “Look, look at the birds! Aren't they pretty?”

Raj looked up at the fleeing birds and rubbed his eyes “Sure, I guess so. Is that, is that why you woke me up?”

“Well, yeah, they're really pretty birds. Also we're here!” She kicked a leg back and engaged the brake, making the whole car lurch violently. “Mile marker eighty-seven!”

Raj grabbed the wall and shifted forward, the screech of the brakes jarring him to full consciousness in a second. He winced at the sound and rubbed his ears. “Ow. Pinkie why did you... Pinkie?” he looked around, the pink pony having vanished from the compartment. He looked forward to the annoyed engineer-pony and asked “Did you see?” The brown stallion just shrugged and adjusted his cap,

Pinkie's head poked through one of the nearby windows and she squeaked out “Rajy!”

Raj jumped, his chair clattering to the floor “Ah, god, Pinkie! Why?!”

“Come lookie Raj, there's something neat outside.” She pulled back outside and trotted to the front of the engine.

Grumbling wordlessly to himself, Raj grabbed his bag and his harness and moved towards the back. He called out over his shoulder “Four days, noon, don't forget.”

“I know my job mister, just make sure you're right here.” the engineer shot back.

Raj cranked open the back door, idly noting that Pinkie had somehow gotten outside with the door still shut and latched. He hopped off the back of the engine-car and asked “Alright, what is it?”

“Look at this mushroom, it's soooo big!” Pinkie pointed a hoof with a wide grin, drawing attention to a fungus cap at least two feet across.

Raj blinked “Is that it? A mushroom? What would you even do with that?”

“Duh, this.” Pinkie lunged forward and checked the stem out from under the fungus and caught the wide cap on her bobbing head. She stood up proudly, the squishy fungus drooping a bit. “Now I have an umbrella! Neat, huh. It's an old Filly Scouts trick, you never forget that kind of thing you know.” she chirped as she trotted around the clearing.

Raj watched her, his eyebrow cocked up “Right. We need to get moving, go get your bags.”

“Okie dokie loki!” she dashed away, her improvised cap spinning in mid-air once before splatting to the ground.

Raj decided to promptly ignore that and unfurled the map he'd appropriated from Twilight's library. He mumbled to himself as he scanned the paper, searching for detail. “Okay, so if we're here,” he poked the number for the marker they had just passed. “Then we need to go that way. Great.” He pointed to the east and put the map away.

“Alright!” Cried out Pinkie as she appeared from behind him with her bags draped over her sides. “We're gonna find that troll and shave him good!” She raised a hoof, somehow holding a buzzing pair of clippers.

“Inaccurate, but I like the enthusiasm. Come on, we're losing daylight.” Raj started into the thick woods.

Pinkie trotted along, humming to herself. “So this is the way to that village Twilight told us about?”

Raj gave her a sidelong glance “Of course it is. Where else would we be going?”

“I was just saying that we're planning to work out of that place and search for the herb with the help of the local ponies.” she explained “We also don't have a lot of time. It's autumn already and if we take too long, it could get cold enough that any Troll's Beard that's out there will die.”

He blinked “Why... why are you just reiterating what we both already know? We talked about all this before we left.”

“I'm just making sure everyone is on the same page. Like how the engineer is leaving to refuel and turn around because he doesn't have enough coal enough to get back to Ponyville.” her eyes shifted to the left, looking at something Raj didn't see. “Let's go, we've got to get there before dark, or they might not let us through the gate.”

He watched her go for a second before calling after her “I knew that already too. Why are you repeating everything? It's weird! Who is this for?” He asked towards her retreating back before grumbling to himself and following after.

* * *

They made a good pace through the thick forest, moving along a scant road that twisted around redwoods a dozen or more feet thick. Raj scanned up one of the highest trees and saw that the leaves didn't even start for a hundred feet or more over his head and the tree kept going for twice that besides.

“Wowee!” cried Pinkie as she stared up at them “Have you ever seen trees like this? These things are skyscrapers.”

Raj smiled “Yeah actually, in the Everfree Forest but... wait. You have skyscrapers here?”

“And look at these roots!” She hopped up on one of the protruding growths “I could hollow this thing out and live in it. Live in it!” She knocked a hoof against the sturdy wood before rolling off of it and out of sight.

Raj continued despite being soundly ignored “Seriously, ponies build skyscrapers? Because from what I've seen you don't have the engineering base to manage something on that scale-”

“Oh my gosh!” came an echoing voice from far overhead. “I can see my house from here!”

Raj looked up and had to shade his eyes to make out a pink shape poking out of the burl at the top of the tree. Shakily, he said “Pinkie?”

“Hey Raj.” She waved at him from the top of the enormous tree. “You look really small.”

“Pinkie!” He shouted “What the hell are you doing? Get down from there right now!”

“Aww, but I just got here.”

“Now Pinkie!” He shouted back, anger flaring for a moment.

“Okay...” She disappeared for a moment before bursting out of the burl and into a free fall. Raj's heart almost stopped and he sprang to get underneath her, a stream of curses falling out of his mouth and his arms raised. His alarm evaporated when he saw a series of balloons burst from her bag and arrest her fall, allowing her to lazily drift into his arms with a goofy grin on her face. She rolled her eyes up to him and said cheerfully “Hiya pal.”

Raj dropped her to the ground “I'm beginning to see why you seem to stymy Twilight so much.

“Eeehee,” she giggled as she rose to her hooves and the balloons somehow pulled themselves into her saddlebags “you're funny Rajy.”

“Another thing, don't call me that.” he answered dryly.

She shrugged “Okay, let's get going Rajamataj!” she pointed a hoof forward triumphantly.

“Also not my name.”

“Let's get going King's Sage.” she pointed another hoof forward just as triumphantly.

“Gonna strangle Spike the next time I see him.” he muttered as he started moving again, Pinkie still hanging off his shoulders.

Pinkie giggled and drooped until she laid across his shoulders like a fuzzy shawl, content to let Raj take over the lion's share of the work for a few minutes. They passed a dozen or more monolithic trees before Pinkie asked “Soooooo... are we there yet?”

“Pinkie, I will answer that one time. Are you sure you want to use it now?” Raj droned back as he negotiated a giant root.

“Hmmm.” Pinkie put her hoof on her chin in thought for a moment. “Yes! I mean no. Wait... yes!”

“No, we're not.”

“Shoot!” She thumped a hoof against Raj's chest in frustration “How will I know though?”

“You're a smart kid. You'll figure it out.” he smiled amicably.

“Aww, thanks Rajy.” She ruffled his patka.

Raj sighed “ Pinkie, please don't call me that.”

“Oh, lighten up buddy, no reason to be a sourpuss.” She moved until she was riding on his shoulders and leaned over him until she could make eye contact. “I'm just being friendly.”

“And I'm being serious. Don't.” He shot her a hard look. “And get off me, you're not exactly petite.”

“Meanie.” Pinkie whispered playfully as she hopped off his shoulders and trotted along his side.

* * *

It took a few more hours for the rising wall of the village to come into view. A huge barrier made from local sequoia painted with gloss to protect it from water guarded the town from any outside threat while the ground was cleared for a hundred yards in all directions, giving them clear sight lines against any approaching creature or pony.

Raj approached carefully, arms out to present no threat, until he reached the wide double doors that formed the gate. He rapped on the heavy wood with his staff and waited a minute for any reaction. He banged on it again harder but got no response. He shouted up “Hello? Is anyone there?”

Pinkie leaned out from behind him and stared up at the door “Maybe nopony's home?”

“Where would they all go?”

“Maybe for ice cream?”

“This is the only village for hundreds of miles in all directions. If there is any ice cream, it would be in there.”

“You're right!” she exclaimed as she started to rap on the door herself “Hello? We would like some ice cream please!”

“I'm going to have to climb this wall, give me a minute.” Raj drew out his axes.

A loud clunk sounded behind the gate and it swung open slowly, revealing an orange Earth Pony with his red mane tied back and a leather smock across his chest and flank. He looked over the two of them for a second before settling his gaze on Raj and saying “The Tartarus are you supposed to be?”

“I'm a human.”

“Never heard of them.”

“Not many have.”

“Fair enough. If you're bandits, I should tell you there isn't anything worth stealing here.”

“We're not bandits.” said Pinkie Pie as she hopped in front of him, a broad smile on her face. “We're on a mission to find a beard!”

The pony shrugged “Well, you won't find one here. Never been able to grow much of one myself.”

“Not... not that kind of beard. Sorry.” Raj put his axes away. “My name's Raj, this is Pinkie. We're from Ponyville. There's an outbreak of Froggy Flu and we need Troll's Beard to cure it. Is there any we can have?”

“There is not.” he answered flatly.

“Alright, well, do you know where we can find any?”

“No.” he answered just as flatly.

They paused for a few seconds before Raj asked “Okay, is there anyone in there who might?”

“Also no.” He started to close the gate.

Pinkie interposed herself “Hey, how would you know there isn't? You didn't even check!”

The stallion sighed “I know because I'm the only one here.” He stepped back and gestured to the hidden village.

Pinkie and Raj came in and glanced around, seeing sturdy plank houses and buildings standing pristine, but no ponies or anyone on the street or windows. “What the...”

“Welcome to Hollta village, population one.” The stallion paused “Well, three now I guess. I'm Iron Strike, come on.” He kicked the door shut and started walking into the village.

“Where is everypony? Are they on lunch?” asked Pinkie as she peered in windows and doors, looking for the townsponies.

“No, that's ridiculous.”

“That's kinda her thing.” said Raj.

“They all left, evacuated the other day. Only reason I'm left is because it's taken me this long to get my workshop squared away. If you were a few hours later, I'd have been gone.”

Raj rubbed the back of his head “Just lucky I guess. Why'd everyone leave.”

“Monster's been attacking the village, killing ponies and eating them up. Damn thing got three ponies before the chief called for an early retreat to winter quarters.”

“That's awful!” exclaimed Pinkie. “Why didn't you call for help?”

Iron Strike glared at her “We're not in Equestria miss, we don't take orders from no Alicorns. We take care of ourselves out here, don't need any Princess giving us a hoof.”

“But... three ponies died!”

“I know that. What's your point?”

Raj stepped in the way “Her point, is that we need this herb to save our town. Do you think there would be any stockpiled here we could have.”

“Probably not. I'm a blacksmith my trade, I don't know anything about plants. If it's valuable, they took it with them though.”

“Dammit. Alright, can you tell us anything about this monster?”

Iron Strike's eyes rolled up in thought “It's big, big and white. And fast, ran down Thistle Hoof, and he was faster than anypony. Only seems to be active during the day, thing never bothered anypony after the sun went down.”

Raj leaned against a wall “Okay... damn. This is not ideal. Well, whatever it is I'm sure I can kill it if I have to.”

“If you can, please do. The first pony that thing killed was my brother, tore open his belly the way I hear it. Nasty way to go.” He said calmly. “Well, you're welcome to stay the night before you go on doing whatever it is you're on to. Just close up if ya leave and don't burn the place down.”

“Where are you going?” Raj asked.

“Winter quarters. Monster don't bother nopony at night and dusk is just about to hit. I'm gonna have to hoof it all night if I want to make it. Good luck to you, hope you find your plant.”

“Thanks.”

Iron Strike hitched himself up to his wagon and was trotting towards the horizon within a few minutes. Raj watched his retreating silhouette and said “Well, this sucks.”

“I know. He lost his brother and two friends all in such a short time. He's really taking it hard.” Pinkie said back, voice filled with concern. “I should've shared some cake with him.”

“What are you talking about? Dude was fine.”

She shot him a look “Are you kidding me Rajy? He was on the verge of tears the whole time!”

He gave her an incredulous look “What are you- No, we're not getting into this. It's immaterial.” He shook his head. “Get some rest Pinkie. We've got a long day ahead of us tomorrow. We're going to have to find the Troll's Beard on our own.”

Full of Cotton Candy

Spike was having a hard time.

“Angel, just hold on!” cried the little dragon as he waddled after the springing stallion, Angel clutching to his back leg for dear life. Spike dropped to all fours and tore at the ground after them. “I'm coming!”

Tank hovered overhead, staring at the proceedings with a general lack of comprehension. The stallion hit the ground at a sharp angle and went sailing straight up, banging his head on Tank's underside. The pony went limp and fell to the ground in a heap, and a moment later the disrupted reptile landing next to him.

Spike leaped onto him, throwing a coil of rope around the pony's reverse-jointed legs. He pulled on the rope until the stallion's knees touched, depriving him of the leverage to spring around. The ill pony didn't even realize what was going on, as he had been made completely insensate by the blow to the head and the terrible fever.

Spike huffed, out of breath for a second before saying “Good work Tank. You too Angel.” Tank gave him a wrinkly smile and a nod. Angel just shot him a salty glare and hopped away, clearly done with this madness.

Spike retrieved a small wagon and rolled the delirious stallion onto it. He dragged the poor pony back to city hall and quickly through the front doors. He found the first unoccupied bed and roughly manhandled him onto it, laying another rope across his hips and shoulders to keep him from springing free. He wiped his brow and looked up to the rafters. “Hey, hey! Owlowiscious, hey!”

“Who.” replied the fluttering owl.

“You know who. Go find Twilight, tell her to come by. I've already rounded up another four this morning. We're running out of beds!” The owl flapped through an open window in search of his owner. Spike watched him and grumbled to himself. “Assuming that she isn't a frog already.”

Spike looked across the rotunda at the dozens or ponies afflicted with the Froggy Flu. The best were semi-lucid, alert to their surroundings and sitting upright, a few chatting to their neighbors or even ambulatory enough to retrieve their own water and pillows. The worst were completely insensate, their fevers wracking them so badly they had to be strapped down to their beds or they would go springing off, unable to control their mutated muscles.

The little dragon gathered up chilled cloths and sipping cups of water to distribute to those who needed them. He caught a flicker of movement out of the corner of his eye and saw a pegasus with a blonde mane zip past a window, back legs distorted and bent as she flapped ungainly through the air.

Spike sighed and grabbed his rope, jogging out the front doors and onto the streets of Ponyville. “Hurry up, Raj. I don't know how much longer I can keep this place together.”

* * *

“I have no idea where we are.” Groused Raj as he stared down at the map.

Pinkie scanned it quickly and pointed her hoof at the map. “Are we... here?”

“No, that's the train tracks.”

“What aboooouuuut... here?” She moved her hoof slightly

“That's a quarter inch to the left of the train tracks. And also, no.”

She tapped a hoof on her chin in thought. “Well, if we find out everywhere we aren't, then the last place will have to be where we are.” She nodded.

Raj blinked “Actually, that could work. Or something like it.” He scanned the paper, “We know we're west of the village, which is west of the tracks, so we're somewhere in all this.” He indicated a huge chunk of the forest. “I think that's the best we're gonna get. If we keep heading on, we'll find the river eventually. When we need to head back, we'll just go east until we hit the tracks and follow them to the meeting spot.”

Pinkie smiled “See, Rajy? Told you we'd figure it out.”

“Don't call me Rajy.”

“Okie doki loki!” she chirped, hopping along behind him as they set off again.

Hours of walking had done little to change their scenery. Their entire sky was dominated by vast trees that reached towards the heavens while the ground was either a carpet of dead needles and hardy growth or bare red rock cracked apart by monstrous roots. It was easy to traverse but somewhat monotonous, so it wasn't five minutes later before Pinkie once again tried to strike up conversation.

“Sooo, what's living with Twilight like?” she asked cheerfully.

“What?” he shot back over his shoulder.

Pinkie sprang in front of him “Living with Twilight. Is it true she snores? She seems like a snorer to me!”

Raj furrowed his brow. “I don't know. I sleep on a cot in a storage room.”

“Oooh, well what about Spike? How's living with him?”

“He uses up all the hot water. Seeing as how I didn't have hot water a month ago, it's not a big deal," he replied somewhat blandly as he walked past her.

Pinkie watched him go and started hopping after him. “Mr. and Mrs. Cake are the same way sometimes. It's their house though, so I guess it's fine. Anyway, cold showers just let me pretend it's winter for a little while. Unless it is winter, then it's kinda rough. I don't look good with blue hooves.”

“Uh-huh," he said back idly.

“Pound and Pumpkin are super fun to live with, but they're still babies, so, y'know. You live with kids, Rajy?”

“Don't call me Rajy. And yeah, I did for a long time.”

Pinkie squealed, “Isn't it the bestest thing ever? Having energetic little things squirming and playing all the time? Always ready for fun and new things! I love it!”

Raj sighed. “Yeah, it was pretty great. Looking forward to getting back to it.”

She paused, eyes widening. “Oh my gosh, do you have foals of your own?”

“We don't call them that, but yeah, one. A boy. His name's Ben.” Raj smiled faintly “He's twelve, actually, thirteen now.”

Pinkie's eyes lit up. “That is the greatest thing ever! Ohmygosh, you have to show me pictures of your sweet little boy! Oh, I bet he looks just like his dad, all brown and tall and strong and-” she paused and sniffed the air, her nose crinkling. “Eeeeww!” she dropped down and covered her muzzle “What is that?”

Raj shrugged. “Huh, wasn't me. Swear.”

“No, not like that. It's... ugh! Can't you smell it?” She dug into her bag and produced a clothespin that she promptly clamped over her nose. Raj sniffed the air and picked up nothing out of the ordinary, just pine and rotting leaves. He shrugged and Pinkie pointed, still shaking her head.

He followed her direction and circled around another massive tree before he smelled something. A heavy, cloying reek that stuck in the throat. Raj winced and covered his face. “Yeah, I know what that is.”

“What?” asked Pinkie, voice nasally from the clip.

“Carrion.”

Sure enough, in the gully of the next tree's roots, he saw a massive carcass, laying on its side with its guts hanging out. The surrounding dirt and leaves were stained black with blood. Raj frowned and called out, “Pinkie, you probably want to stay back.”

“Why? What is-” the words died in her throat as she rounded the root and laid eyes on the mutilated creature. She inhaled sharply and looked away.

Raj stepped in front of her. “Pinkie, why don't you go on ahead, I'll worry about this, okay?”

She shook her head and blinked a few times before looking up at him with a weak smile. “It's okay, Rajy. I'm fine.” She turned back to the body. “That's a chimera, isn't it?”

“It was, yeah. Been here for about a day judging by the smell.” Raj could easily see the leonine head, as well as the front paws and back hooves. The snake tail trailed along the ground, the actual snakehead torn off to leave a black, bloody stump. “I saw one in the Everfree, this one is a bit smaller, I think. Doubt it went down easy.”

“I bet.” She trotted forward to the edge of the blackened dirt. “A chimera can survive the loss of any two of its heads, the remaining ones take over for the others. That's also why they never need to fully go to sleep, one head sleeps at a time and the other two keep it moving.”

Raj raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Yup. Something Nana Pie taught me. She knew everything about monsters. Though I don't know what could do this.” She looked at the corpse and shivered.

Raj moved closer for a better look. “Big claw marks on the belly, tore right through the hide and muscle. Probably one big thing, not a lot of smaller ones. If it was a lot of smaller ones, there would be more eaten. Most of the meat is still on here.”

Pinkie bit her lip. “You think it was the monster that's been attacking Hollta?”

“Maybe. If it preys on ponies I doubt it would go after something as big as a Chimera. But I don't know, Equestria resists rationality.” He leaned close and peeked at a puncture mark on the underside of the lion's jaw. “What the?”

“Rajy, can we go? This is creepy.”

“Yeah, one sec.” Raj pulled out his knife and poked in the wound, encountering something hard. He pried at it, slowly drawing out a round tube. “The hell is this?” he asked himself as he pulled out a long, hard spike as around as a pencil, stained black with chimera blood.

“Rajy! Don't play with the dead monster!” Pinkie scolded.

Raj looked over the sharp piece in his hand for a second before tossing it away. “Sure, sorry. Let's go.”

They walked in silence until the chimera corpse was beyond the range of their noses. Pinkie shook her head and put her smile back in place. “Anyway, where were we? Oh, right, we were talking about your adorably sweet foal, Ben. So what's he like?”

Raj blanched. “Um, Pinkie, could we not talk about that? I'm don't... I'm not really feeling that right now.”

Her face fell some, but she nodded. “Okay, but I don't want to talk about the dead thing either.”

“Okay, well we don't have to talk you know. We can just keep walking.”

“Oh, well, okay. That's fine.” She walked along for about ten steps before saying. “Oooorr... we could play I Spy?”

Raj rolled his eyes and smiled weakly. “Sure, why not?”

* * *

Eight-hundred-and-thirty-two rounds of I Spy later, they finally found the river.

“Hey look, we're here.” Chirped Pinkie.

“Oh thank God.” Raj sighed blissfully and knelt at the shore to cup his hands into the cold water. He took a long draw from the running river and poured the rest over his head. “Ah, that feels nice.”

Pinkie smiled at him. “So, should we start looking?” She drew a magnifying glass and her clippers from her bag.

“Not yet. We follow the river down to the lowlands where the cliffs and caves are. Troll's Beard grows where it's dark and wet, so if we're going to find it, that's where.” He stood up. “Let's keep going, we have a few hours of daylight left.”

“Do we?” Pinkie looked down the wide river towards the setting sun, the bottom of it just shy of kissing the horizon. “The sun's kinda low. And pretty.”

“We got time. Come on.” Raj trudged forward, shading his eyes from the glare.

Pinkie whined. “Ohh, come on, Rajy. Can't we stop for a break at least? I'm tired.”

“Should have slept on the train like me.”

“B-But... I'm hungry!” She rubbed her stomach with a shaky frown.

“We'll eat when we camp. Now move.”

Pinkie looked back and forth. “But, uh, ooohh, Rajy! Look over there, look at that thing! Isn't that thing important?” She pointed across the river, hoping to distract him.

He turned back to her sharply “Pinkie! Do not call me-” He caught something moving across the river. “The hell?”

Pinkie looked over and said, “Oh, hey, there is something over there. Neat!” She craned her neck up to try and get a better look at the creature.

The river was a good forty meters across, but even from that far away Raj could tell thing was big. Its head was dunked in the water to drink and it lifted when it heard the two on the other side. Once they saw it catch sight of them, they both heard a chattering cry echo across the wate,r and it dove in, swaying as it worked it's way across the river.

“Hmm, you think it's friendly?” she asked him.

“It's not friendly, nothing is ever friendly. Run, Pinkie!” Raj turned and started booking it along the shore.

Pinkie rolled her eyes “Oh, that's not fair, Rajy. There are all kinds of nice creatures in Equestria. Why, once you get to know this one, I'm sure you two will be-” The creature tearing across the river breached the surface, chatter-screaming again and opening wide to show off a maw of ragged teeth with no lips, just constantly bared fangs.

A pink blur zipped past Raj, churning up the soil in a mad rush. “Rajy! It's a Bandersnatch! Run for your life!”

“A what?” He dared a look over his shoulder and saw that it was gaining fast, its bulk propelled with six thick legs, its long fur swaying with every multi-legged step. He could actually feel its blue eyes on him like a pair of lit cigarettes hovering over his skin. The whole time it kept letting out its guttural chattering.

Raj broke left, heading into the woods. The Bandersnatch slewed to chase, long tail whip-cracking at the air as it turned on a dime and bore down on him quickly.

Raj kicked up over a root three times his height and slid down flat against the other side. He felt the thing's gaze break, and he drew his axes, breathing heavy. The creature leaped over the root easily, soaring over Raj's head and pivoting on a pair of claws to round on him. The creature went low, legs curled up to spring forward. It snapped and chewed at the air, gaze burning his chest.

From head to rump, it's body was maybe twenty feet long, its tail another fifteen. Its back bristled with curved black spines over a blue-black pelt of waving fur, the rest of it a dirty white fading into a pure white under the neck. Its mouth had no lips, shining black fangs on constant display.

Raj gave his axes a roll and said, “I'm guessing you're not interested in talking?”

The Bandersnatch chatter-screamed as loud as a gunshot and sprang forward, four claws presented to tear him to pieces.

Author's Note

So, in case my description didn't do it for you, here's what the Bandersnatch looks like. (SFW)

Sleep tight.

Edit: Also, this chapter was edited and proofread by the wonderful Lab. Check out her stuff, it's pretty swell.

Acceptable Breaks from Reality

In that moment, Raj did the smart thing: he rolled.

The Bandersnatch struck the thick root as its prey bounded to the side. The thing did not seem perturbed in the slightest at the impact and rounded on him, six legs churning up ground as it charged and snapped its jaws forward.

Raj raised his axes and bounced back, giving up ground as he defended himself. The creature clamped its fangs over his crossed axes and shook, trying to tear him from his feet. Raj sacrificed his grip on one and hauled back on the other, twisting the beast's head around. He twisted with both hands and cocked an arm back, stepping in as he did so. He thrust in his fist directly on the underside of its jaw, breaking several front teeth and making the Bandersnatch yelp. The thing let go and backpedaled, stooped and ready as blue blood oozed from its damaged snout.

Raj winced and shook his hand, blood welling up from thin holes in his glove. “God, the thing's face is sharp! Why is it sharp?”

“Bandersnatch fur is like needles! Don't touch it!” Pinkie’s voice echoed through the woods.

“What, Pinkie? Where are you?” he yelled back, never taking his eyes off the creature in front of him.

“Here I am,” she chirped as she popped out from under a nearby pile of leaves. “Where's the— GuuuahahaFAAAUGGH! Bandersnatch!” She shrieked as she burst up from the ground, flailing in panic. “Run away!” She turned and sprinted towards a massive tree.

“No, Pinkie! Stay behind me!” Raj reached out after her and that was enough for the Bandersnatch to snap its gaze towards her—something that made Pinkie cry out in pain—and break into a loping run after her. Raj dove to intercept but wasn't fast enough. He grasped at the trailing end of it's tail and took a roll in the leaves. He came up in a run after them but knew he wasn't fast enough.

Pinkie Pie wasn't either, the Bandersnatch's six pounding legs trumping her four. The thing was gaining on her quickly.

And then Pinkie cornered herself against a tree. She scrabbled at the bark, but it was too smooth to climb. She spun around and saw the Bandersnatch rushing at her, its eyes heating her skin. To her sides, all she saw were walls of root, too massive to scale.

So Pinkie did something entirely unexpected: she went down.

To Raj's perspective it looked like she simply dove into the ground, making a sound like a spinning auger. Even the Bandersnatch was surprised, and it skidded to a halt. The creature stuck its snout into the hole she had left and sniffed, perplexed. It pawed at the hole and let out a low whine, completely at a loss.

Raj was not so hung up, and redoubled his run. Screaming, he crashed into the thing's neck with a hard, overhand chop that buried the whole head of his ax. The Bandersnatch gurgled and staggered, stunned for a moment as thick azure spurted out of it. Raj released the ax in its neck and drew back his spare with both hands, bringing it down directly on one of the creature's blue eyes, making it shriek and writhe. Its forelegs buffeted Raj, but he grabbed onto its neck-crest for leverage and kept hacking, golden ax tearing through muscle and skull. After five chops, the thing slackened and fell into a great, twitching heap.

He stepped away and leaned on his knees breathing hard. The ground next to him broke away and Pinkie poked her head up. She observed the Bandersnatch's ruined head and frowned. “Wow, did you do that?”

“Yeah. I did,” he said with a long breath.

“That's messed up, Rajy.”

“Don't call me that.” He looked down at his hand and saw blood drying on his knuckles. “Damn, that felt like I was punching into bowl of needles. My hand's going to be hurting for days.”

Pinkie shook herself like a wet dog, kicking up a cloud of dirt from her fur. “You're lucky you were wearing gloves. Bandersnatch fur is supposed to be sharper than anything. Nana Pie told me that old Earth Pony settlers would use found pieces of their fur to shave.”

Raj blinked. “So it's a giant six-legged wolf/tiger monster that has laser vision and is covered in a carpet of razor blades?”

“Yuppers.”

“Goddamn is Equestria weird.”

Pinkie giggled at the profanity and followed along. “Yeah, sometimes it is, but it's home.”

“I guess. Your Nana tell you anything else about those things? There might be more around here.”

“There won't be. Nana told me there's only four of them in the whole wide world of Equestria. Well... three now.” Her ears went flat. “That's kinda sad now that I think about it.”

Raj rolled his eyes. “Humor me.”

“Hmm, let me think.” Pinkie tapped her chin a couple of times. “Oh yeah, she said they can regenerate.”

His eyebrows shot up his forehead. “What?”

“Regenerate, silly. Whatever that means.” Pinkie shrugged.

Raj spun, drawing out his axes again. “It means that thing isn't dead.”

Pinkie turned to see the massive bulk of the Bandersnatch climb to its feet, blue blood and brain still spilling out the side of its head in a slowing torrent. Raj felt a muted heat on his chest, dulled from the thing's missing eye, but even that hole was sealing up. It let out a gurgling growl, more blood leaking from the corner of it's mouth. As Raj watched, one of its damaged front teeth fell out and was promptly replaced, a new fang popping out like it was fired by a spring.

Raj stalked forward, intent on taking it while it was injured. The Bandersnatch spun and snapped its tail hard enough to crack the air, the end shattering into a spray of needles. One passed by Raj's ear close enough to whistle, others coming so close to Pinkie they tore holes in her poofy mane. The Bandersnatch growled and circled to wind up again.

Raj bounded back, shouting, “Of course it can shoot javelins out of its ass! Why the hell not!” He dove and tackled Pinkie to the ground, the air over them ripping with the whistle of spikes. Raj wrapped his arms around Pinkie and rolled, expecting a follow-up attack from the Bandersnatch. When he looked up, he saw no lunging beast, only its shortened tail retreating over the edge of the giant root.

He stood up and brushed himself off, lifting Pinkie as he did so. “We need to go.”

“Go where?”

“Doesn't matter. That thing is mad and knows where we are. We can do something about one of those things. Move.”

Pinkie didn't argue and started sprinting alongside him. Raj ran with his axes out, head on a constant swivel. The Bandersnatch's mobility was its strongest asset, if he could hit the legs, slow it down, then he'd be able to get in close again and maybe do something that would actually kill it.

They were almost back to the river before they saw it again. It didn't strike with any subtlety, just burst from the underbrush and charged, jaws open and howling, the wound on its head nothing more than a blue splotch.

Raj jumped over the thing as it lunged. Pinkie went low, sliding on her belly under the thing, the trailing hairs on its belly catching on her mane. The Bandersnatch hit the ground with its front legs and pivoted, spinning itself to launch another barrage of spikes. Pinkie shouted to Raj to get down, but it was lost to the shattering whip-crack of the tail.

He jerked as something hit him solidly in the backpack, tearing through his supplies and jabbing him in the ribs. Soberly, he realized that his backpack had just saved his life.

Raj whirled around, axes held level. The Bandersnatch stood sidelong, stunted tail lashing at the air as it let out a rumbling growl. Pinkie bolted up and bounced over to her friend, head low and set.

“Pinkie?” Raj hissed.

“Yeah?”

“You didn't bring a stick of dynamite or a bazooka or anything, did you?”

She shook her head. “No, but I've got the next best thing.”

“What?”

Any further conversation was lost when the Bandersnatch dove forward, all six legs giving it terrifying reach. Raj set his axes to strike but never got the chance. A pink blur dropped down in front of him, holding a blue, civil-war cannon on flowered wheels. At the last instant, she yanked the cord, and all the fanfare of a ten-year-old's birthday party shot out of it and directly into the Bandersnatch's face.

The creature was understandably surprised and let out a harsh yelp, going limp in midair. The thing hit the ground in a roll that transitioned into a slide when it hit the slick mud of the riverbank. It lay on the ground, pawing and wiping at the glitter and confetti plastered to its face.

Raj wasted no time. He lunged in, hacking at the thing's face and legs as much as he was able. The Bandersnatch shrieked and writhed, rolling away further until it came up on its legs in the shallows of the river. The thing glared at Raj, deep cuts marring its face and neck, jaw broken and hanging open obscenely. One of its forelegs was curled up, the entire paw missing. Despite the water, the Bandersnatch still glinted with bits of glitter, much to Raj's internal amusement.

Raj snarled and jumped forward but the thing was faster than him even down a leg. It hopped back and scampered away down the bank before turning into the woods again. He cursed and started running back towards Pinkie. The blue cannon was gone, back to wherever it came from.

Pinkie fell into step beside him. “You okay, Rajy?”

“Fine. You have any more shots for that thing?”

She shook her head. “Nope, I can only use it once a chapter.” She hopped along for a little bit before adding. “It's probably better if you don't ask.”

“Wasn't planning to.”

The river quickly dropped lower and lower, the gentle babble of water turning into a roaring nest of rapids. Quickly, even that fell away into a high waterfall, the river plunging into a ravine cut deep into the stony ground.

“This is bad, Rajy, we're all of a sudden really high!” said Pinkie as she peered over the edge. “We should find somewhere to hide.”

“Nah. The thing can only come from one side. If we can see it coming, we can beat it.” Raj affirmed, tightening his grip on the Apple Axes.

“Can we?” Pinkie asked incredulously.

Whatever Raj's answer was, it was cut off by a loud cracking sound from the woods. He let his legs go out from under him, the barrage of javelins passing him by. Pinkie wasn't so lucky.

He heard her crying out before he saw her scrabbling in the dirt. Spewing vulgarities, he jumped up to look her over. She looked up at him wild-eyed and shouted “My butt! It shot me in the butt!” She pointed a hoof and, sure enough, six inches of white, bony spur stuck out of her cutie mark.

With no prompting, Raj grabbed the spike and yanked it out, bringing a fresh croon of pain from Pinkie Pie. He helped her up, glanced towards the direction of the crack, and saw the Bandersnatch approaching worryingly fast.

He looked towards Pinkie Pie. She was standing, and the hole in her leg had already stopped bleeding, but she was shaky and panting hard. She couldn’t run, not any more. And if Pinkie couldn't run, she couldn't fight.

Raj let out a breath and said, “Pinkie. I have a really bad idea.”

“What is—whoa!” She grunted as Raj picked her up and laid her across his back, her forelegs tangled in his backpack. “What's—what're we doing?”

“Do not let go, alright? No matter what,” he said and turned towards the ravine.

“Rajy? That's a cliff. Rajy. Rajy!” She tightened her grip and started to shake. “Rajy!” He ignored her and put on more and more speed, pushing past the day's fatigue and steaming faster and faster towards the edge.

He hit the gap and leaped for all he was worth, his own scream of terror and effort drowned out by Pinkie's long, shrill wails. Raj pinwheeled his limbs in the air, trying to maintain his balance and keep from tumbling. They were less than halfway across the forty meter distance when Raj realized they weren't going to make it. His descent was too steep, not picking up enough distance. Terror gripped him and he pawed uselessly at the air, certain of death as he stared down at the terrifyingly distant river below.

Then, Pinkie saved them again. She kicked her legs and an array of balloons sprang out of her saddlebags, arresting their fall and dragging them forward again. Pinkie grunted, straining to keep hold of him, but the balloons were not meant to hold so much weight.

The cliff wall loomed and lucidity hit Raj like a truck. He raised his legs to absorb the shock and lashed out with his axes, burying the golden heads deep in the rock. He went slack, holding onto the handles and dangled limply. Pinkie clung to him, letting out rattling breaths. The balloons in her bag detached, lazily drifting up in muted celebration of their survival.

“Pinkie. Pinkie!” He shook his shoulder. “You good, Pinkie?”

One of her eyes cracked open and she nodded. “Yeah, I think so. That was—” she sucked in a breath. “RAJY DODGE!”

Reacting instantly, Raj launched the both of them to the side. He swung with his axes and had a small heart attack when the first one glanced off the stone. The second bit in, and he hung off of it. He looked back to his previous perch in time to see the Bandersnatch crash hard into the cliff face, bones cracking from the impact. The creature whined and scrabbled, its claws gouging stone but failing to find purchase. It fell away, bouncing and tumbling down into the ravine, where its howls were silenced by a jagged spur of rock jutting out of a rapid.

Pinkie stared after it for a minute before whispering into his shoulder, “Hey, Rajy, I think I peed myself. I'm sorry.”

Raj dangled from the cliff and sighed. “Yeah, yeah that sounds about right.”

Panic in Pink

Raj's ax-wielding arm hooked over the edge of the cliff and buried the blade in the rough stone. With a hard grunt, he pulled himself level with the edge and rasped out, “Pinkie.” The party pony clambered over his damp back and onto the edge of the ravine. She turned around and bit the shoulder of his uniform, straining to pull him up next to her.

He struggled up the last leg of the climb and flopped onto the flat edge of the cliff, breathing hard and groaning lightly. It felt like his biceps were on fire, the strain of hacking into the cliff and pulling himself up over and over for more than a hundred feet draining him in ways he hadn't felt in a long time. He sat up and rubbed his sore arms, shucked off his pack, and curled up his legs to put his head between his knees. His vision swirled enough that he just wanted to sit there forever.

Pinkie was quite the opposite. She sprang up and zoomed around the flat cliff edge surprisingly fast considering her hurt leg. “Wowee, Rajy, that was crazy. You were all like 'choppity chop chop' and the Bandersnatch was all 'Screeechy grrreeaaacch!' and then we were running and jumping and—”

“P-Pinkie,” Raj stuttered. “Can I... can I just get a minute?” He folded his arms and held himself.

Pinkie looked at him and cocked her head. “Rajy, are you okay? You're shivering. You want a blanket?”

Raj looked down at his hand and saw it shaking. He clenched it into a fist and felt his breath speed up. His heart thudded in his chest, hard enough he could feel it. “No. Water, please.”

A bottle appeared in front of him, and he grasped at it. He fumbled with the clasp and took a long draught. When he pulled away, he felt a powerful tremor run through him and the thing slid from his fingers.

Pinkie looked down at it, then up at him, her eyes full of concern. “Rajrishi? What's wrong?” She scooted close and nudged his shoulder. “Did you get hurt?”

“No I'm just,” Raj paused as his breathing picked up. “I think I'm having a panic attack or something.”

“What? Why?” she asked, worry edging her voice.

“Heights. Don't do well with heights.” He hiccuped and his breathing went deeper. “Freaking out.”

Pinkie bolted upright and looked around startled. “Oh! Wait, I know what to do. This happens to ponies around town all the time.” She started patting him on the back, her voice taking on a soothing tone. “It's fine, Rajy, stay calm. Just sit here and breathe. there's nothing else you need to worry about.” Her face screwed up and she looked down at her urine-damp hoof. “Oh, right, ewww!” she wiped it on the stone.

“Stop calling me Rajy,” he said back, his vision still swimming. He closed his eyes and shook his head. “Help me get to the river, please.”

She nodded and tucked under his arm. “Don't you worry, Rajy. Auntie Pinkie to the rescue!”

Raj started to grumble something but bit it back as he staggered up upstream.

* * *

Raj clung to the bottom of the riverbed, fingers and toes dug into the loose stones. He felt the current tug at his hair, pulling towards the waterfall. Further ahead, he could see the current strengthen, picking up mud and debris for a few moments before sending them careening down the falling river. He tensed and burst up from the water, inhaling sharply. He stood there for a moment, shivering and gasping from the cold and wiped at his eyes.

“Feel better yet?” Pinkie called from the nearby shore.

Raj surveyed the camp she'd set up, just a fire, a tent, and a line that held his drying clothes. He looked down at the flowing water, thought for a second, and then nodded and said, “I think I do.”

“Good, I was getting worried that you drowned or something. I thought my back hoof was gonna get itchy at any time!” She paused for a second. “Itchy hoof means somepony is having trouble breathing.”

Raj decided to ignore that curiosity. “Sorry, Pinkie.”

“It's alright.”

“Clothes dry yet?”

“Nope, not even close.” She swatted at his hanging shirt with her tail, and they both heard the wet smack.

Raj grunted and squatted on a log next to the fire. He stared at the flames for a minute before perking up. “I just remembered that you took a dart from that thing. How's your butt?”

“Getting better already.” Pinkie looked back at her bandaged rump and gave it a lewd shake. “Hardly even hurts any more.”

“You gonna be good by morning?”

“Yuppers,” she affirmed with a nod.

“Glad to hear it.” Raj leaned back and stared at the fire. “Well, at least it's dead now. Should be easy to do our job.”

Pinkie rolled her eyes away and bit her lip. “Ummmm...”

Rajrishi's gaze hardened. “What is it?”

“Well, while you were soaking I, uh, went back to the cliff to get another look. The rock where it was, um, impaled I guess? I didn't see it there.”

“Fantastic.”

“The sun's going down, maybe I missed it. Or maybe it slumped off into the river or something.”

“No way am I that lucky.” Raj was quiet for a second before he rammed a black fist into the log he sat on. “Dammit!”

Pinkie looked down at the ground. “Sorry, Rajy.”

“Not your fault, Pinkie. I'll deal with it if it shows up again.” He sighed folded his hands. “I'm starved. Gimme my bag.”

“Well, that's another thing actually.” Pinkie slid his bag closer and said “So, I looked through your stuff to see how, um, bad it was from the... stuff.”

“And?”

“And it's pretty bad. The hole from the dart let a bunch of... stuff in and I think it got in your food.” She lifted up a holed can from his bag. “I don't think any of this stuff is really edible anymore.”

Raj sighed. “Alright. Well... shit.”

“No, it's pee, silly.”

“That's not—” he cut himself off and pressed a hand to his forehead. “I'll just have to figure something out.”

“No need, Rajy—”

“Stop calling me that.”

“—cause I brought way more than I need. There's plenty to share.” She set her saddlebags next to him.

Raj perked up. “Oh, hadn't thought of that. Great, what do you have?”

Pinkie shoved her head into the bag and pulled out several wrapped packages. “Lots of stuff! Some Apple family Apple Brown Bettys, Lemon muffins, chocolate muffins, some vanilla cakes, a few dozen cookies. And I coulda sworn there were some of Bon Bon's bonbons in here. Let me check that other pouch.” she started fiddling with the clasp.

Raj laughed a bit. “Pinkie, please tell me you brought some bread or cheese or something? Anything that isn't cake or a cookie?”

“Of course I did. I also have these candied nuts.” She held up a small bag and scrutinized it further. “Oh wait, nevermind. These are just hard candies shaped like nuts, my bad.” She giggled and crunched a hoofful of the morsels.

Raj rolled his eyes. “Screw it.” He nabbed one of the Brown Bettys from the pile and unwrapped it. He took a bite and quickly washed it down with a gulp of water.

Pinkie looked up from her bag of candy, her face slightly sticky. “So? Good, right?”

Raj shook his head. “Not really my kinda meal.”

Pinkie furrowed her brow at him. “Did some dirt get in that one?”

“No. Don't worry about it.”

“It's a new recipe and I'm not sure I have it down yet.” She grabbed one and gulped it in one bite. “Hmm, that one was delicious though. Is yours burned?”

“It's fine, Pinkie. I just don't really go in for sweets.”

She blinked. “I don't—what does that mean? 'Don't go in for sweets,’ is that a human thing?”

“No, I just don't really like sweet stuff, Pinkie. Not since I was a kid.”

Pinkie went very silent and still. She stared up at him with a look of utter confusion, like he'd sprouted another pair of legs that had started singing. “But... I don't understand. Does that mean you don't like pie?”

“Not really.”

“Cake?”

“Nope.”

“Cupcakes?”

“Still just cake, Pinkie.”

“But that doesn't make sense!” She pressed her hooves against her temples. “Sweet is the best flavor there is. You can take the grossest, weirdest food in all of Equestria, but as long as it's got some sugar in it, it's at least sorta good!” she dropped down on all fours. “Are all humans like this?”

“No, definitely not. Most humans love sugary stuff. Can't get enough of it.”

“Oh, okay. Good.” She let out a breath of relief, the terrifying idea of a whole world of people that didn't love cake now dispelled. “So what do you eat on your birthday?”

“Same thing I eat every other day usually. If I feel like doing something for it, I'll make myself a steak.”

“What does everyone at your party do then?”

“I don't have birthday parties, Pinkie. I'm an adult, I have other stuff to worry about.”

Her eyes went wide. “Rajy, are you messing with me? Because if you are, it's not funny.”

Raj finished off the pie and wiped his hands off on his pants. “I'm not. I haven't had an actual birthday party since I was sixteen. At most, I think me and the wife would go to a movie or something.” Raj thought for a second. “Actually, I turned twenty-nine some time after getting to Equestria now that I think about it. That would have been before I met Zecora, so I would have been living off of rainwater and hand-caught fish.”

Pinkie narrowed her eyes. “Well then, you've got a lot to make up for.” She hopped up and grabbed the sides of his head, staring him straight on. “Come April, you're getting the best party I've ever thrown. Ever.”

Raj was taken aback by the terrible conviction in her voice, but decided to let it go. He pushed her away and looked at the fading glow in the sky. “Sun's just about done. We should get some rest while we can. If the Bandersnatch is still around, we can't risk sleeping during the day. That's when it's supposed to be active.”

“Got it.” Pinkie reached behind herself and unfurled a sleeping bag emblazoned with her own cutie mark and a large wool blanket.

“Glad to see branding is strong in Equestria,” he said as he arranged the blanket to his liking.

Pinkied looked down at her embroidered bag. “It's so that everypony knows it’s mine. I can get one made with your cutie mark if you want.”

“Humans don't have those Pinkie.”

“Oh yeah, forgot.” She slid into her bag smoothly and closed her eyes. “Goodnight Rajy.”

“G'night, and don't call me that.”

The clearing was quiet for less than a minute before she whispered from her bag. “Hey Rajy, you awake?”

“Stop calling me that.”

“Okay.” She went silent again. “So are you awake?”

Raj pressed a hand to his face. “Oh my God. Yes, I am.”

“I meant what I said. You're going to get the best party ever. Just you wait and see.”

It took him a long time to answer and when he chose to he did so quietly. “Pinkie, that's very sweet, but I honestly hope you don't get the chance.”

“Why?” she asked, not hurt, not upset, just genuinely curious.

“Because I really hope I'm not still in Equestria in six months.”

* * *

“Well, I guess the Bandersnatch is still alive,” muttered Raj as he stared down at the mutilated carcass that might have once been a bear.

Pinkie covered her mouth and grimaced at the body. “Yeah, I recognize those darts.” She looked at the rounded white sharks in the dead creature's side and shivered at the memory.

“This is still pretty recent. No rot has set in yet. Must have happened this morning, no earlier.” He crouched down and studied the path cut through the undergrowth leading away. “But it looks like the thing's tracks go north, away from us.” He let out a relieved breath. “Good.”

“Yeah. I don't think I want to see that thing again. Ever.”

Raj nodded his agreement and stared at the mutilated body in silence for a few seconds before clearing his throat and asking. “So... not to sound crass, but what's the etiquette here?”

Pinkie looked up at him with an eyebrow cocked. “Etiquette?”

“Yeah, do we bury him? Or should we contact his... pack I guess? Do bears group up?”

“Um, Rajy?” Pinkie asked, the question plain in her voice. “I don't think we need to worry about that. It's a bear, it's fine where it is.”

Raj blinked. “Aren't bears sapient and stuff? Like ponies and donkeys? I saw Fluttershy having a tea party with one once."

“What? No.” She shook her head. “Bears are just bears. They can't talk or anything, not like moose or deer."

"Deer are sapient?"

"Yuppers."

"Oh, alright. Good to be vindicated for not eating them."

Pinkie giggled at his frustration and turned to march further along the river. “You're funny, Rajy. Let's get going—those caves can't be too far from here.”

The two continued along the rocky shore of the fast river, the looming highlands at their backs. The lowlands were colder and more temperate, the enormous mega-trees of the western edge of Equestria giving way to dense, pinewood forests that stretched on forever. There wasn't a single piece of ground that wasn't hidden under a dense bed of needles and immature cones. Raj took the time to gather up some young ones and harvest the nuts to supplement his diet of cake.

The most surprising thing to him was the silence. Pinkie seemed content to let their journey pass in companionable quiet, just the occasional tuneless hum or giggle at some odd thought. He jumped when she finally spoke up hours later.

“Hey, Rajy, look!” She pointed a hoof. “A building.”

“Hmm?” Raj looked where she was pointing, and sure enough, a small decaying stone building sat adjacent to the shore. “Huh, well would you look at that.”

“We should check it out. There might be neat stuff inside.”

“That would be odd, but sure.” He started for the building.

Pinkie let out a high squeal and darted towards it, diving through an empty window to explore the small structure. Aside from cobwebs and a startling amount of animal droppings, there was little inside the house. A rotted chair proved to be the most interesting thing but it gave out under Pinkie's weight.

Raj surveyed the little structure and asked, “How do you think this got here? Who built it?”

“Probably the Griffons when they colonized the lowlands,” Pinkie replied as she wipes broken bits of chair off of herself.

“Griffons exist?” he shot back, surprised. “Front half of eagles, back halves of lions? That kind of griffon?”

“Yuppers! They settled this place hundreds of years ago. Built a city that was supposed to stretch all the way along the river. Even a big castle called Featherkeep that straddled over it like a bridge. It was in the books Twilight loaned us.”

“Must have missed that one. I was too busy reading about the terrain and stuff. If the Griffons built this place, why'd they abandon it?”

“Who knows.” She shrugged. “Maybe they got tired of it.”

“I don't think you abandon a city just because you get tired of it, Pinkie. But if the ruins are still there, then that gives me an idea. Troll's beard is supposed to grow in dark, wet places like riverside caves and stuff, right?”

“Yeah, I think so. Wait.” She paused. “You're the one who told me that, so you already know it. You're not really asking, are you?”

“No, I'm not. We haven't seen any caves, but buildings like this are almost caves. Maybe some is growing in this abandoned city.”

“That's a really good idea, Rajy! Way to go!” She gave him an encouraging punch to the shoulder.

“Don't get too excited yet, we still haven't found the stuff. We've got today and maybe tomorrow if we're going to make it to train on time. If we screw that up, we won't get back to Ponyville in time to help anyone.”

“Then what are we waiting for?” Pinkie zipped away, kicking up a cloud of dust and cobwebs as she zipped away towards the forgotten city and, hopefully enough Troll's Beard to cure a town of ponies.

Bones of Metropolis

A hawk fluttered over the pinewood treetops, soaring on thermals and searching the gaps in the trees. It flapped twice, picking up some height as it scanned the needled floor for movement. A vole, a mouse, anything would do. Autumn was coming and game was scarce already. It let out a sharp cry, hoping to scare some creature into exposing itself.

The bird heard a loud crack, like air ripping apart and looked down. It saw a momentary flash of white drawing near before mind-shredding pain overwhelmed it and the world spun into an unrecognizable smear. It let out a sharp cry and tried to flap, but jolts of pain tore through it with every movement.

It hit the ground with a hard thud, bouncing once before laying mostly still. Its one functioning eye spun around wildly for a moment, trying to figure out what was going on and what had happened. That lasted only a moment before it saw black fangs closing in on it and the creature knew no more.

The Bandersnatch whined loudly as it tore a chunk off the downed hawk, chewing noisily. It gobbled the piece down and grabbed the rest of the bird, tilting it's head back to swallow the creature whole. It extended its long, green tongue to lap blood up off the ground, whining desperately in hunger and frustration for a second before coughing up a burst of feathers. A meal as small as a hawk was barely worth the energy it took to grow the dart that hit it. It mostly just re-awoke the gnawing pain in its gut.

The hulking beast whined and snuffled around, searching out further scents for more creatures it could hunt down and eat. It followed the urine stink of a mole to its burrow but chose not to dig under the tree for it. The Bandersnatch then found a shed snakeskin and trailed it to the serpent that dropped it. That creature was easy to finish off but it was incapacitated for a few agonized minutes as it was wracked with poison. Eventually that passed and the creature stood up and was back on its way.

After almost a full morning of rabid, starved wandering, the Bandersnatch picked up a scent, something wet and fetid and rotting. It perked up and squealed at the scent, snuffling the undergrowth and nearby trees for the trail. It knew the smell, loved that smell. The smell meant food and lots of it.

Eventually, the creature picked up the scent and went sprinting off down the path, plowing through brush and light trees to the source at the peak of a hill. To most, it would look like a furrowed clearing with young trees peeking through the piled soil. To the Bandersnatch though, it was a bounty of sustenance. It dove towards the nearest, chomping down and tearing it free from the ground. It cracked through the outer layer of bark to get to the green, pulpy wood inside and scooped it out with long, probing licks.

As it tore into the trunk, the plant let out a long whistle, like a howl of agony. As it did, the other plants in the grove joined in, twigs and chips of wood gathered near their roots lifting up in an attempt at defense. The pieces of wood bounced harmlessly off the sides of the Bandersnatch.

The giant beast let out content little whines and chirrups as it ate its fill. The marrow-wood was both delicious and sustaining, filling its gullet and abating the painful gnawing in its stomach for the first time in days.

After a few minutes of gorging itself the Bandersnatch heard a warbling howl nearby. It looked up and saw a glowing eyed beast drawing near, barking and howling as foaming sap leaked from its maw. It was quickly joined by another, and another. The Bandersnatch kept an eye trained on them as they gathered at the edges of the grove, but it was too hungry to simply stop eating.

As more and more of the timberwolves gathered, they grew more restless. Old, old instincts told each of them just how dangerous the creature on their hill was and urged them to flee. That was at odds with their other purpose, to reproduce, for the shoots on the hill were young heartwood, the central pieces that would someday become timberwolves themselves.

Only when the full pack had arrived, more than fifty in total, did their protective instinct override their old fear, and they broke into a collective charge at the huge monster, howling and foaming with rage. The first of them dove onto its limb, chomping hard on the foreleg. The Bandersnatch snapped at it, taking off most of the thing's shoulder and hauled its leg back, dragging the thing underneath it so it could shred it with four claws. Many others sprang forward to latch onto its flanks, hoping to bear it down with weight. They bit and tore at the beast's flesh, ignoring the lacerating razors that bit into their wooden bodies.

The Bandersnatch stumbled and cried out, shaking and writhing. A large one dove at the creature's neck, hoping a vulnerability lay there, but the Bandersnatch had strength enough to rear up despite the dozen or more wolves that hung from it. It came down on the wolf with an open maw, closing over most of the creature's chest and chomping it to pieces.

As more and more timberwolves piled on it, the Bandersnatch dropped to one knee. Desperate, it cried out and tensed every muscle along its sides and back, making every sharpened hair wave to rigid standing. In that second every timberwolf hanging from it died, each one pierced by dozens of razor sharp quills, sheer coverage piercing their heartwood. The Bandersnatch relaxed its hair and shook, flinging off pieces of pierced wolf to litter the clearing. It snarled and licked its blackened teeth, trickles of blue slowing as it healed from so many incidental wounds.

The remaining dozens of timberwolves rushed forward, slashing at its limbs as they dashed past. One of the wolves got lucky and latched onto its cheek, tearing and pulling at the prickly flesh. The Bandersnatch whined and whipped its head, sending the creature flying with a goodly sized chunk of its face. The Bandersnatch took that and the other hits gladly, not caring about small injuries. Within moments, the meat of its face was knitting back together.

For every three wolves that darted in for a strike, one was either caught in its jaws or swatted apart with a claw. When a wolf fell to the ground broken, the Bandersnatch would dive into its piled mess, instinctively sniffing out its heartwood to gulp down immediately or to simply break it out of sheer malice. Within minutes, their numbers had evaporated from a legendary pack of fifty able, fully grown timberwolves to a mere ten cowering creatures. Faced with their situation, the creatures broke and ran, retreating down the hill with their tails tucked.

The Bandersnatch was not willing to let them go so readily. It broke into a sprint after them, chirruping and warbling. The timberwolves glanced over their shoulders in panic and started shedding plates of wood to reduce their weight in an effort to pick up speed. The Bandersnatch chased anyway, it's hunger fired up. I leaped off a fallen log and spun in the air, cracking its tail forward to launch a spray of murderous darts at the fleeing timberwolves. One was struck and had its leg shattered. It rolled to the dirt and looked up in time to see the Bandersnatch descend on it, breaking it fully and tearing out its heartwood.

In the time it was eating, the rest of the timberwolves managed to put some significant distance between them. The Bandersnatch quickly and easily caught their trail and set off on the hunt. It snapped its jaw and lashed its tail eagerly, hungry for a fresh pursuit and the feeling of running down helpless prey.

It followed the trail to the river and crossed quickly. It reached the opposite bank and started snuffling around to find the smell of its prey once more. Instead of the fetid reek of Timberwolf breath, it picked up something unexpected: sweetness greater than any berry and rosepetals, with notes of churned earth and sweat as an afterthought. Alongside it was a trail of metal, oil, and blood with a layer of urine over it.

The scent struck the Bandersnatch like a wall. It flopped to the ground, eyes wide in panic. It half-remembered a fight, a hoof-thing and a hand-thing that called to it. It remembered attacking and being beaten back. It remembered fighting more, attacking with hit-and-run strikes that had let it defeat enemies for centuries and being foiled by a burst of color. And it remembered leaping, scrabbling its claws on stone and then falling so very far..

More than anything though, it remembered pain. It remembered the terrible pain of a flashing thing that sliced through its thoughts, hacking away memories that would only ever grow back enough that it would know their absence. It remembered the agony of forcibly regrowing a foreleg and then fighting on it immediately. It remembered falling so far and shattering on the rocks, only returning to life when it bobbed along the surface long enough to breathe again, and then the long struggle to shore and the painful wait to recover enough to move.

All this came in a flash to the Bandersnatch's mind. It stood breathing hard, glaring about, looking for something to express frustration on and settled for a large rock. It clawed and bit at the stone, gouging it deeply and tearing off chunks.

Minutes later it snuffed and sneezed, its fury vented as it looked along the river bank. Off in the distance, it could make out the specks of civilization, buildings and roads, long-abandoned but still standing. It knew that hoof-things and hand-things built such places and crudely reasoned that must be their destination.

It crooned one last time and started along the trail at an even gait, not hurried. For this, the Bandersnatch intended to take its time.

* * *

Raj grunted as he booted down the rotted door to the riverside house. Pinkie bounced inside and scanned around, a second later calling back, “Nothing here, Rajy.”

“Alright, move on to the next one,” he grunted as he trudged towards the next house, stepping gingerly over a puddle of water thick with scum.

Raj was not fond of this city, he decided. Griffons were not effective civil engineers. As they got into the city proper, he found that the buildings crowded together into dense clusters, and in many cases, they actually leaned and ground against one another. He assumed some of it was due to time and shifting soil, but it was still bothersome.

Also, he could scarcely go inside any of them. Pony architecture favored, for some odd reason, high roofs and vaulted ceilings, making only doorways difficult to navigate. Griffons seemed much more austere with their buildings, keeping their ceilings low and spartan. A strange trait for a race of winged creatures, but it meant that he had to go into a full crouch to fit in the peasant dwellings they had encountered so far. It alsomeant Pinkie was serving as their urban spelunker.

They stuck to the waterfront, raiding buildings that had either collapsed into the river or were looking to do so. They'd spent most of the early afternoon looking in them to no avail. Thus far they had only managed to find a faded painting, a jar of blue liquid, and...

“Look at this neat rock!” Pinkie cried as she bounced out of the most recent hovel holding a piece of carved stone in the shape of a griffon's head.

Raj looked down at it, thought for a second, and nodded. “Yep, that's a pretty cool rock all right.”

Pinkie grinned before shoving the statue in her mane. “See? Not a total bust.”

“No, it was. Anything less than Troll's Beard is a total bust, Pinkie. Let's keep going.”

Pinkie's grin faltered “Has anyone every told you you're a bit of a buzzkill, Rajrishi?”

“Hey, you're calling me Rajrishi now. Progress.” He turned and stared out across the river, looking at the other half of the city spread across the opposite bank. “Think we should search the other side too?”

Pinkie shrugged. “Nah, probably not any different.”

“Yeah. These buildings aren't right. They're mostly wood, not stone. Their roofs are collapsed, they have windows, and animals live in a lot of them.”

“Like that skunk that sprayed me?” she asked oddly cheerfully.

“Yes, like that skunk. Precisely like it.”

“So, we just need to find stony, uninhabited buildings without windows. Well, that's easy. Featherkeep!” she exclaimed with an excited hop.

“The castle?” Raj asked, looking down the river at the black line that ran over it. “Oh right... the castle. Wow, that's actually perfect.”

Pinkie grinned again. “See? Auntie Pinkie always knows just what to do!” She started hopping down the street towards the squat castle.

“I'm gonna hold you to that.” Raj worked his way up the collapsed street to where the ground was still solid.

The miles to Featherkeep passed quickly. As they got deeper into the city, the buildings became more intact, gaining height and detail. Ivy crept over every building and statues hung over street corners. Shoots grew from cracks between, cobblestones and full grown trees split the street a few times every block.

As they got nearer, they began to appreciate just how big Featherkeep was. The walls of it stood at a hundred feet tall on each shore, despite centuries of crumbling, and dipped low directly in the center of the wide river, the stone and bricks holding it together sagging under its own weight. The bridge built into it that spanned the river was almost an afterthought, low and flat enough you could hear the water flowing beneath. The entire structure drooped in the center, the river flowing over the bridge and out a gutter on the other side.

“This is perfect, Pinkie,” Raj said with a satisfied nod. “Thank God this place was built so poorly.”

“Yeah, it's really considerate of the Griffons to be so poopy at castles. Let's get inside.” She pressed her shoulder against the gate, but it refused to budge. “Or not.”

Raj was going to say something pithy, but he stopped when he heard a warbling shriek, far off. He snapped his gaze towards the city and saw a cloud of birds flying up in a panic.

Pinkie's pupils went wide and she lowered her head. Her eyes darted back and forth nervously. “Was that...”

“You have got to be kidding me,” Raj said to himself and drew out an ax.

A full block away, the wall of a house burst out, spraying splinters and grit onto the street. Along with it came the long low form of a massive white creature that snarled and spat. It let out another cry and started tearing along the ground, claws rending furrows in the cobblestones.

“Oh, you have got to be kidding me!” Raj repeated, shouting this time.

“Window!” cried Pinkie, pointing a hoof at a hole cut in the wall over the gate. Most of the glass in the metal lattice was still intact. “Help me!”

Raj lowered down and Pinkie hopped on his shoulders. He heaved upwards and Pinkie sprang off his shoulders, getting the height to grab onto the ledge. The whole time Raj stared at the oncoming beast, one white-knuckled hand gripping his ax, and the other flexing nervously.

Pinkie punched the glass out of the window, cutting her hoof a bit in the process, but she voiced no complaint. She hauled herself up and rolled her weight into the crossbars, popping them out with a clank and then a loud clatter as they hit the floor on the other side. She spun around and lowered a hoof.

Before she'd even fully gotten around Raj jumping up to meet her. The Bandersnatch had come so close he could see the pulsing in its eyes. He grabbed hold of hoof and she rolled back, dragging him up and through the opening.

Neither had the presence of mind to arrest their fall, and they flopped bonelessly on the stone floor as the gate buckled inwards, cracking loudly.

Raj sat up, rubbing his shoulder and groaning. Pinkie rose to her hooves with a groan and mumbled, “I landed on my butt again. Why do I keep hurting that?”

The gate bowed again, a snarling shriek echoing through it as the Bandersnatch threw itself against the door. Raj shook his head and tucked his ax back in its holster. “That isn't going to hold. We need to move.”

The two of them trotted through a high entryway into a passage off the main hall. Raj shouldered the door shut and barricaded it with a chair. Pinkie whispered, “That's not going to hold either.”

“Thanks, Pinkie. Very helpful.”

“How did it find us?”

“Hell if I know. It's a giant pointy, undying wolf older than civilization. Who knows what kind of evil bullshit it has going on. For all I know it sprouted wings and flew here.”

“What're we going to do, Rajy?” she asked.

Raj didn't answer right away, instead standing up to survey his surroundings. It was a surprisingly large chamber off the main hall. If he had to guess, he'd say it was a ready room or cloakroom based on the wall hooks and the chairs and a table pushed into corners. A narrow staircase ran up a wall and dog-legged across the chamber, connecting to a passage leading further into the castle. It was the first instance he'd seen of a building in this city that made use of its inhabitants’ wings.

“This place isn't designed for something of that size. We can dodge it, stay around it. As long as we're in the castle, we have the advantage,” Raj declared with confidence.

The main gate exploded inwards, and the Bandersnatch howl in victory. Without a word, Pinkie leaped to her hooves and rushed up the stairs, Raj close behind.

Pinkie was proven right a moment later when the Bandersnatch's face burst through the flimsy barricade. The thing struggled a bit and hissed up at Raj as he negotiated the narrow staircase. The Bandersnatch struggled a moment, drew back, and rammed again, hitting the frame of the door with its shoulders.

“Crap!” Raj shouted as the stairs shook, costing him his momentum as he had to crouch to stay on the path. Pinkie spun around and reached out to steady him, oddly sure on her own hooves.

He looked down to see the Bandersnatch draw back and plow in again, shattering through the wall and angling on the pair. It crouched down, legs coiled up like springs.

Grunting, Raj jumped forward, wrapping Pinkie in his arms as he dove for the entrance. He skidded through it, gliding along the floor on his arm and back. Behind him, the Bandersnatch blew through the staircase, scattering mortar and brick across the chamber. The creature shrieked in frustration and pain.

Pinkie stood up and shook dust off herself. “That thing's going to destroy the castle if it keeps up like that.”

Raj coughed and sat up. “Okay, change of plans. We're killing that thing.”

Author's Note

Once again, thank the wonderful Lab for proofreading and making this a much, much better chapter. Go check her stuff out, it's also neat.

The Worst Plan

Eyes wild and panicked, Pinkie rounded the corner of the passage and sprinted out onto the bailey. Not an instant later, the howling and spitting Bandersnatch slewed around the corner and rushed after her in a dead run. Pinkie focused, putting everything into her hooves. She tried desperately to not notice the yowls and shaking earth as she ran across the unkempt grass towards the open gate to the keep.

A red stick poked up from the ground, and she immediately remembered its purpose. She sprang into the air, soaring far before hitting the ground hard and stumbling. She recovered quickly though and kept moving. The Bandersnatch ran past the stick, oblivious to its meaning, and fell into a concealed ditch that Pinkie had sprang over. The creature impaled itself on crudely sharpened and previously hidden poles. The creature let out a whine of pain as it struggled up and out of the ditch, snapping the spurs of wood. It took off in a loping run, seemingly oblivious to the jags of woods sticking out of its flesh.

But the trap had worked—it gave Pinkie the distance she needed to sprint through the gate well ahead of the pursuing Bandersnatch. She hurried up the steps to the gallery, spinning around to watch the beast coming at her. She held her breath for a moment, hoping to get the timing right, and waited until the Bandersnatch was just a few meters from the gate. Almost out of breath, she shrieked, “Raaaj!”

Hearing that, Raj swung at the ancient chain holding up the portcullis, and the Apple Ax cut through the rusted steel effortlessly. Outside, the heavy gate groaned through a layer of rust and rocketed downwards with several tons of force. He heard a loud whump and a terrible shriek followed by rattling and sputtering. Hefting up his other ax, he rushed out the gatehouse and into the yard.

The timing had been almost perfect. The sharpened pikes of the portcullis had landed squarely behind the thing's neck, and only one foreleg and shoulder had made it through while the rest of its bulk lay behind in the barbican, fur bristled out to full size from the trauma.

More importantly though, it wasn't dead.

The creature hissed and spat, struggling against the weight pinning it down. Its front legs flailed wildly at nothing while its back legs tore and clawed at flagstones slick with blue blood.

Pinkie cried out from her perch on the wall as the heavy gate lifted and rocked. “Rajy! It's gonna get out!”

“Nope,” he said to himself and rushed forward, axes held tight. The creature saw him coming and swiped at him, but the portcullis pinning it preventing the movement it needed. He came around the side without the shoulder and darted in, hacking at its trunk-like neck.

The Bandersnatch spat and writhed with renewed vigor before Raj's second swing came in. He tore through blue meat effortlessly, splashing viscera on his hands and arms, and the thing's head dropped to the ground with a heavy thud. The bulk of the body shuddered for a moment and kicked at the ground before going still. The Bandersnatch's tongue lolled out, eyes staring forward blankly as blood leaked from both stumps.

Raj fell back on his rear and breathed hard. He winced as he let go of his axes. His uniform jacket and gloves had saved him from the worst of it, but he felt hot cuts flex open on his arms and hands every time he moved. He looked again at the severed head on the ground and thought it a good price to pay.

Pinkie bounced over to him. “You okay, Rajrishi?”

“Fine enough, yeah.” He shook his head. “You?”

“Same. Still kinda wired though. That run was really scary.”

“I bet. I couldn't have done that, Pinkie. Good job.”

She smiled. “What works? Teamwork.”

“Yeah.” He struggled to his feet and walked over to the head. “Took some planning, a few failed tries, and a lot of luck, but we finally managed to put this thing down. Now, let's get back to—”

The body of the Bandersnatch stood up, making Raj yelp and fall back.

The Bandersnatch torso swayed drunkenly, ignoring its trapped leg to the point that it simply ripped it off and left it impaled on the portcullis, seemingly oblivious to the pain of such an action. The gummy, bleeding stump “looked” around, scanning for something.

Pinkie backed away. “I-It's still alive? B-B-But... no head? Head gone, no head!” She stammered, completely at a loss.

Raj simply lay where he was, transfixed by what his brain kept insisting was some sort of trick. As he watched, the Bandersnatch’s body sensed Pinkie's yammering and leaned up on the gate, its neck stump whistling and bubbling. It laced its three remaining legs in the portcullis holes and heaved itself up, barely lifting the enormous gate.

Raj was only snapped out of his fugue when he saw the severed head jut its tongue out the side of its mouth to propel itself towards the gate.

Raj bounded up, going for his discarded axes. He scooped them up and dove for the rolling head, striking hard. He managed to catch the retreating edge of it, but the sharpness of the Apple Axes worked against him. Instead of digging in and catching on the fur and flesh, it sliced cleanly through the meat and bone and into one of the flagstones as it rolled through the gap.

The portcullis crashed shut and the Bandersnatch fell back, balance lost. It writhed weakly as its severed head rolled towards the neck, small edges of flesh regenerating to reach out for it.

Raj snarled, “Pinkie, plan F! Get on top of the Barbican and dump the oil.” The pink pony nodded and bounced away, rushing up the steps to get into the gatehouse.

Raj stared through the gate as the head slowly reattached. A strange sucking sound unlike anything he'd ever heard before came from it as the edges sealed followed by slight plucks like snapping wire as hair erupted from the point of injury. As the last bit healed, it reached up with its one remaining paw and twisted its own neck, the bone cracking loudly as it righted its own vertebrae. It then pressed its leg stump to its severed paw, pops and cracks once more signalling regneration.

Now healed, the thing turned to him with eyes full of burning, animal rage. It snarled and slammed itself into the portcullis, bowing the steel and oak towards him. Raj held his axes up as he took a step back, suddenly doubtful of the ancient griffin's engineering skills.

A splash came from beyond the gate and rich gold liquid started leaking from the ceiling and onto the frenzied Bandersnatch. Pinkie shouted out to him as the Bandersnatch kept slamming the gate in a frenzy, coating itself in the thick fluid.

Only when the last bit of liquid dribbled down from the slatted roof of the barbican did he raise his axes. With a snarl, Raj struck his axes against one another, launching a spray of golden sparks towards the portcullis. Most of them bounced off the bars and sizzled on the stones, but one passed through the gap and landed directly on the Bandersnatch's probing snout.

That was all that was needed, as the spark erupted into flames that raced along the thing’s oil-drenched hide. Raj winced and staggered back as it loosed an unearthly shriek, louder than almost anything he'd ever heard before. The pained Bandersnatch flailed, skittering and slipping on puddles of slick fire that covered the ground.

It took thirty agonizing seconds for the Bandersnatch to find the way it had come in and scrambled down it, still burning and shrieking. Raj tried to shake the ringing out of his ears as he stood up, absently noting the retreating tone of the Bandersnatch's screaming. The thing was finally running away.

“Hey, Rajrishi!” Pinkie cried from atop the wall, her voice barely audible over the fire in the gatehouse. “Are you okay?”

Raj stood up and looked at her. Even from a distance he could see her coat was stained from smoke and her mane was partially flattened from heat and soot. She was leaning on a barrel almost as big as she was, likely the one used to coat the Bandersnatch. He answered, “Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Just startled.”

“Did it work?”

“It ran away. Guess it hated fire more than it hated having its head cut off.” Raj smiled with relief. “Keep an eye on it. I want to know where it's going. If it doesn't die from that, I might need to go finish it off.”

Pinkie winced at the macabre notion but hopped up on the crenelated battlement. She caught sight of it immediately, a burning pyre trailing a thick plume of smoke across the bailey. Seeing it retreat like that brought great relief, but she was sickened slightly by how much pain the creature must have been in and that she had a hoof in inflicting it.

Her moralistic musings were pushed aside in an instant, however, when the burning streak turned smoothly. She squinted and propped herself up on the curtain wall, shading her eyes with a hoof. After a second, the fleeing Bandersnatch had fully righted itself and was tearing back across the yard.

“Oh horseapples,” she said to herself before shouting down to her friend, “Rajy, run! It's coming back!”

Rajrishi's eyes widened and he dove back as five tons of flaming nightmare beast crashed into the portcullis, shredding it like paper and scattering debris across the courtyard. The whole wall shook, making Pinkie lose her balance and tumble backwards into the oil barrel. She rolled down the steps and, flopped gracelessly into the yard alongside the bouncing container.

The thing dug a claw into the stones to slow itself, rounding on Raj as he bounded to his feet.
It barked and snarled, burning oil alighting the ground beneath its feet. The Bandersnatch pounced, its muzzle snarling and drooling. Reflex took over and Raj sprang to the side. Two paws slammed hard enough to crack the ground where he’d been standing. Raj bounced on a foot to try and cut at its side, but the heat of the fire kept him from getting close enough.

The Bandersnatch rounded with a swipe, following it up with a series of walking swings. The heat was enough to tighten Raj’s face and make him tear up, forcing him to hop back blindly. He used the heat of the fire to guide him, always moving away from it and praying he wouldn't hit the wall or a bad patch of ground.

“Rajy!” Pinkie cried out, and Raj heard a sharp crack before something brown whipped through the air. With a hollow thud, the Bandersnatch's head was obscured by an uncannily aimed oil barrel. The Bandersnatch whined and staggered back ungainly, trying to shake the thing off its head until it butted against a wall.

Grateful for the breather, Raj glanced around and saw Pinkie by the entrance to the keep. She waved him over and shouted something he couldn't make out as he sprinted for the door.

The Bandersnatch freed itself as Raj reached the halfway mark. It raised its tail high and launched a spray of burning quills. Raj ducked, still running, flats of his axes held over his neck and chest. Two of the needles he dodged, three missed him by chance. All five hit the wall to his side and exploded like firecrackers, peppering his entire side with hot fragments. Raj shouted in pain and stumbled, but kept running despite the pain. The Bandersnatch ran after him, closing the distance terrifyingly quick.

He cleared the threshold of the door with so little margin that the creature's flames caught the tail of his tattered coat on fire. Raj dove to the ground, rolling and slapping at himself as the Bandersnatch thrashed and clawed at the doorway. Pinkie grabbed him by the shoulders and yanked him back from the Bandersnatch's snapping jaws. The two of them rounded a corner of the passage and lost sight of the burning monster.

After a minute of wrathful screaming, the Bandersnatch disappeared, likely seeking a place to put itself out. Pinkie squatted on the step and breathed hard, staring forwards listlessly. Raj lay on the stone floor, extinguished and exhausted before muttering, “Well, that didn't work.”

* * *

Half an hour later, Raj was still pulling fire-blackened shards from his flesh. He winced as it came out—at the size of one of his knuckles, it was the largest fragment yet. Sneering, he flicked it away to a small pile of the things next to the wall. “That's the last of the ones I can get with my hands. I'll need tweezers or something for the rest, but they'll wait.” He smeared some of Zecora's ointment over the burned punctures and tied a bandage over his hip.

“Okay, good.” She peered down the passage back to the courtyard, seeing the black patches where the burning Bandersnatch had been standing. “Where do you think it went?”

“Probably to find something to eat and get some water. Burns dehydrate you pretty bad and its regeneration probably uses up a lot of water too. It'll be a while before we see it again.”

Pinkie sprang up to her hooves. “Well then, we don't have any time to lose. What's our next plan, Rajy?”

“Pinkie.”

“Sorry, honest mistake. What's our next plan, Rajrishi?”

Raj leaned on his knees and stared at the floor for a minute before sighing and saying, “Don't got one, Pinkie. I'm out.”

She stuttered, “W-What?”

“I am all out of ideas. Plan Fire was the last one, and I wasn't even expecting to use that. I would have wagered that Plan Decapitation would have done it.” He started counting on his fingers “Chopping its brain up didn't work, throwing it off a cliff didn't work, impaling it on spears didn't work, crushing it under a chandelier didn't work, smashing its head with that stone brick didn't work, poisoning it didn't work, cutting off its head didn't work, and setting it on fire only pissed it off.” He shrugged. “I'm tapped, Pinkie. There's nothing else we can try.”

Pinkie shook her head in disbelief. “No, no, no! That can't be it! You're supposed to be some super awesome warrior from space. You have to know what to do! What if we buried it? Like, in a big hole?”

“I doubt it would let us do that.”

“We could tie it up?”

“We can't really get near it. Too sharp.”

“Launch it out of a catapult?”

“We never found one big enough.”

“Throw it in a lake of molten gold?”

“We don't have one of those.”

“Well gee, Rajrishi, maybe you could come up with a stinking plan instead of just shooting all mine down!” she shouted.

Raj just stared up at her tiredly with a weak smile, offering nothing.

Pinkie huffed and walked a quick circle around the hall, muttering quietly to herself. She perked up after a second and said, “You just need to rest, recuperate, and recharge yourself. Come on.” She zipped behind him and headbutted his back. “Let's go downstairs. I smell water down there. We can cool off, take a drink, and you can think of some super awesome plan to get us out of this and save the day!”

Raj obliged, trudging down the stairs into the basement. When he reached the bottom, he found that years of the castle sagging and the river rising slightly had partially filled the basement with a layer of mucky, scummy water. Scowling at the filth, Raj continued through the water to find some that was flowing so he could drink it.

Deeper into the basement Raj found a small dock covered with a high ceiling. In its heyday, it was likely a means for dignitaries to come and go without hassle and for retreating royalty to escape in the event the skies were compromised. Now though, it had flooded and the dock had long ago been worn away, leaving nothing but the haggard moorings jutting from the water.

The current tugged at Raj’s feet as he crouched down, splashing some on his face while Pinkie doused herself fully to clean off the soot and grime that had caked onto her. He stooped down to dunk his head in the cool water and flung his head back with a dramatic flourish, feeling refreshed for the first time in hours. He cleaned the water from his eyes and turned to see a patch of Troll's Beard hanging from the wall.

He stared at it for a second, blinking slowly. For a minute he thought it was a joke, some trick of the light or an ill-advised prank from his companion. He pointed a thumb at it and said numbly, “Pinkie.”

She ceased her splashing to look over. Her pupils dilated almost to the edge of her eyes and she took in a lungful of air. She bounced out of the water and skimmed over the surface as she scrambled over to the plant shouting, “We found it!”

Pinkie bounced around the room for a solid minute with a kind of speed and energy Raj didn't think a creature could possess before she darted towards him, wrapped her forelegs around his neck, and swung off of him as she giggled. “We did it, Rajy! We did it!”

Raj grinned back and hugged her back, falling onto his butt in the water. “We sure did, Pinkie. Holy crap.”

Pinkie bounced on her perch. “Now all we need to do is get past... the Bandersnatch.” Her jovial mood slowly evaporated and she lowered herself onto his lap. “Right... that problem.”

“Yeah, I forgot about that too for a minute there.” He leaned his head back onto the wall. “Well shit.”

The two of them shared a silence for a bit before Pinkie perked back up. “Well, this is different than before at least. Now we just have to get away! Let's just make a break for it, right now while it's hurt. We'll get so far away that it'll never catch up.”

“It caught up before, and that was with a huge head start. And if catches up to us on open ground, we don't stand a chance. Fighting in the castle is our only chance.”

“Okay, then we'll trap it. Like we did with the chandelier during Plan C! That'll delay it long enough.”

“We don't have anything we can use for that.”

Pinkie sneered at him. “Well, what's your plan smart guy?”

“We split up!” Raj shouted, frustration thick in his voice. “That's what we do, we split up. You take the Beard and travel through the river. When you get to the cliffs you climb out, get to the train, go home, and save everyone in Ponyville.”

She stared back at him. “And what about you?”

“I'll stay here, keep the thing busy and away from you. When you get the chance bring other ponies along and you can get me out of here. Have Spike contact Luna, she'll know what to do.”

She shook her head incredulously. “And what, the whole time I'm saving the day you're here fighting it out with that thing? No way, Jose. Not happening.”

“Pinkie, fighting to survive is very different than fighting to win. I can manage that on my own.”

“And what if you can't?” she shot back.

“That isn't the point Pinkie,” he said solidly. “The point is to get that plant back to Ponyville and time is not a luxury we have. We are at our time limit, if we delay at all, we are going to be way too late. The train is going to be at the tracks at noon tomorrow. If we don't get there in time, then it will leave without us and hundreds of ponies are going to either die or be twisted mutants for the rest of their lives, including every single of one your friends.”

Pinkie's eyes teared up and she bit her lip. “But... you're my friend too, Rajy.”

“I know I am, Pinkie, but this is a crappy situation. Sometimes you just have to pick the least bad option from what you have in front of you.”

“I know that, but it's still lame.” She darted forward and wrapped her legs around him. “You be safe, okay?”

Raj hugged her back. “I will, Pinkie. I know what I'm doing. It'll be fine.”

“You better be,” she sniffled, “or I'm gonna give Rainbow Dash a big pile of bits to kick your butt.”

Raj laughed a little bit. “Rainbow Dash, don't think I've met that one yet.”

Pinkie blinked and lifted herself up off his chest. “You haven't met Dashie? How long have you been in Ponyville?”

“A while. I don't get out much.” Raj shrugged.

Before Pinkie could say anything in response to that they both heard a warbling screech echo from all around the keep. “Huh, he didn't take long to get over being on fire.”

“No it did not. You need to get going.” He stood up and walked to the edge of the wharf. “Best if you go underwater for as long as you can, at least under the castle itself.”

“Not a problem, Rajrishi.” Pinkie stuffed the Troll's Beard into her mane and drew out a long plastic tube. “You just sit tight and I'll be back lickety-split with a whole bunch of guardsponies with spears and magic and stuff.”

“Great, but focus on getting that plant back to Ponyville first, Pinkie. That's the most important thing.” Pinkie shot him a salute and cannonballed into the river, the tube held in her mouth. Raj watched the mouth of the tube descend until it dropped below the water.

With Pinkie safely on her way, Raj drew his axes and said to himself, “Alright, now to figure out how to avoid dying for the next few days.”

Laughter in the Face of Sense

Pinkie cried out as she burst from the surface of the river, “Seaweed! Seaweed on my leg!” She kicked wildly until she reached the shore and hauled herself up, trying to shake the tangled plant off her back leg. She flung it into the water and shuddered in revulsion. “Ugh, gross.”

She shook herself like a dog and wrung out her hair, mane poofing out to full volume immediately afterwards. She reached into it and drew out the Troll's Beard to inspect it. “Ah, glad you're okay, Beardy. Can't have you getting hurt.” She paused for a moment before pressing the plant against her chin and examining her reflection. “Hmm, don't know why they call you a beard though. You're more of a goatee or maybe mutton chops if we chopped you in half, but that would be bad.” She tucked the plant back in her mane for safekeeping and examined her surroundings.

Featherkeep was a distant blot over the river, the column of smoke the only detail that stuck out. She'd made a good deal of distance quickly. If the Bandersnatch hadn't come after her yet, then it likely wasn't going to at all.

“Well, I guess your plan worked, Rajy. Oops, sorry about that.” She giggled to herself and turned about then headed for the cliffs that led up to the forest. From there she would just need to head east to the train tracks and wait for the engine. She looked up at the distant rise and remembered the long trek getting down the other day. It had taken them most of the morning to find a path down the cliff that wouldn't trigger Rajrishi's acrophobia. They’d had to go so far afield to find one that it took them hours to find the river again. Pinkie rubbed her chin in thought and said to herself, “Hmm, maybe I can find a different way this time.”

She continued along the shore quickly, traveling the bank opposite the one she took the previous day. It was thanks to this different path that she found something curious on the shore. Far from the waterfall, she found blue-stained gouges in the ground. “Ohhh, this is where it woke up,” she said with a light shudder.

Confusion twisted her features, and she cocked her head. “But... wait, why did it take so long?” She looked eastward and saw the looming mega-tree-capped cliff miles away. It would have taken the Bandersnatch hours to drift this far. She remembered the thing regenerating from terrible wounds within minutes, seconds even.

She studied the river there. This was the first calm section of water, a flat pool that swirled lazily for a bit and then flowed down weakly over a cluster of rocks. Anything the size of the Bandersnatch wouldn't have been able to continue after that point.

Pinkie gasped, a shiver going up her back as she sprang into the air. “That's it! That's it, that's it, that's it! I know how to stop the Bandersnatch!” she cried out, running in a quick circle and laughing. “Now I just have to tell Rajy about it and—”

She cut herself off sharply, her eyes slowly rolling over the looming cliff and then to the distant city. “Ohh poop! Why couldn't I have figured this out last chapter?” She stomped the ground in frustration and ground her teeth together.

She fretted for a few minutes before calming herself down with a few hooffuls of cake. She sat on her haunches and said to herself, “Okay, don't panic. I just need to go forward, find the train and get back to Ponyville. I can come help Rajrishi afterward with a bunch of guards and stuff. Yeah, that's what I'll do!” She took a confident step forward and then deflated almost immediately “But... Rajrishi is back there fighting a big spiky monster all on his own. Who knows how long it would take for me to bring everypony to help. He could be long dead by then.”

She gasped at the thought and spun on a hoof, taking a few steps before halting again. “But, I was fine with the plan before. Nothing's changed, those ponies need this medicine.” She stared forward for a moment before her expression softened, “No, that's not right. Something has changed. Before, there was nothing I could do to help Rajrishi, now there is. If something happens to him now, it'll be all my fault! But if something happens to somepony back home, that'll be all my fault too! Gaaah!” She collapsed to the ground and clutched her head. “Where's a magic mirror pool when you need one?!” she shouted.

* * *

Raj shouldered through a pair of double doors and into the sunlit arcade on the south side of the keep. He stumbled from the hit but kept moving, panting and gasping for air. Behind him, the Bandersnatch’s claws scrabbled across the stone floor as it tore after him.

He wove through the arches, ducking past ornately carved pillars and old debris. The roof was entirely gone, the glass having fallen through ages ago and left the floor covered in a glittering carpet that caught the day's dying light. That and a century’s worth of growth and decay threatened his footing with every step.

The great beast pursuing him had no care for the footing nor the dead splendor around them, as it only had eyes for the tired, fleeing human before it. The thing's massive frame bounced off the sturdy pillars, too big for the path Raj was following. It was not concerned with frivolities such as space however and muscled forward after him.

Raj started to gain ground, just as he had hoped to in these tight quarters. He skewed hard to the side and made for the exit he'd marked, praying for speed. He heard the Bandersnatch roar and stone crumble as it simply powered through the obstructions. As he neared the exit he leaped up and swung, slicing his ax through the beak-embossed keystone of the arch.

As soon as his blade passed through it the whole structure rumbled and shook, rock raining down. He landed and spun to see the Bandersnatch get pinned under a descending wall, letting out a pitiless shriek as it was crushed. A wave of dust washed over him, and he coughed and covered his face.

He stood poised for a minute, axes held at ready. When no movement or sound came from the rubble, he relaxed and stood up straight. “All right, that bought me some time.” He holstered his axes and set off for the main keep, hoping to find some food before the Bandersnatch extricated itself.

The flooded basement yielded a pair of frogs he found somewhat appetizing, especially when seared against a burning log. That, some water, and a short rest left him feeling refreshed, though a far cry from good. He crept up to the wall and looked across the bailey towards the now-collapsed arcade. Even in the low light, he could see the collapsed wall had been rolled off. He sighed, knowing the beast would be coming at him again shortly.

He looked at the sun just as its lower edge touched the horizon, and he let out a relieved sigh. It had been hours since Pinkie had left, enough time for her to get far enough away from the dangerous creature. From what the village pony had told him, the Bandersnatch wasn't active at night. Even if it were, he still intended to hunker down and wait for rescue rather than risk leading the thing somewhere it could do harm. There were a dozen or more places in Featherkeep the Bandersnatch couldn't reach, places he would be safe for a few days. He let out a breath and started to relax, secure in his success.

Then he saw a flash of color at the edge of the bailey. Squinting, he saw a cluster of balloons drift out of a window and hang there brightly.

“Oh god dammit.” Raj sprang down the steps to the courtyard, darted through the still-smoldering gatehouse, and took off across the lawn at a rapid pace. He managed to reach the window unmolested and scrabbled up the wall to roll through the open window.

A weak light flicked on in the chamber and he saw Pinkie's broad smile in the dark. She whispered, “Hi, Rajrishi. I came back.”

“I see that. What happened? Are you hurt? Did you get lost?” he whispered back.

She shook her head. “No, no, I'm fine.”

“Then why the hell did you come back!?” he hissed.

Pinkie grinned back harder. “I figured it out, Rajrishi. I know how to stop the Bandersnatch!” she chirped back.

“Okay. Why did you come back though?” he asked again.

She knit her brow at him. “Um, I just told you. We're gonna stop the Bandersnatch. Then we can go back together.”

“That was not the plan!” he shot back.

“Well the plan sucked. It was The Worst Plan. We went with it because it was the only option we had that could work. Well, now we have a better idea, one that doesn't involve you risking your life and one where I don't feel super guilty and scared my whole way back. This way a dangerous creature will be taken care of and we can save Ponyville. Everypony wins!” she said excitedly.

He stared at her for a long time before talking again. “Pinkie, I know it wasn't the best idea, but it would have worked. It would have saved Ponyville, that's the most important thing, the entire reason we're here. But you scrubbed the whole plan, because it wasn't a hundred-percent win. Do you have any idea how risky that is?”

“Oh don't be all dramatic and Rarity on me, Raj. I'm still doing what you told me, sorta,” she answered. “I gave half the beard to Gummy and sent him towards the train-tracks.”

Raj blinked. “What's a Gummy?”

“My pet alligator that lives in my mane. He doesn't have any teeth,” she replied like it was the most natural thing in the world.

“He lives in your mane?”

“Yeah, he's only this big.” She held up her hooves a short distance apart.

Raj stared at her for a minute before sputtering “That is not... how could—why?” He stepped away and ran a hand down his face with a weak glare. He wanted to yell at her, but that would have accomplished nothing. Deal with the problem in front of me, he thought. There's no use grousing about it. He asked back as levelly as he could, “Okay, what is it? What's the silver bullet that's going to kill the thing?”

“It's the water. It can't handle the water!”

Raj was still and quiet for a moment before saying back flatly, “Pinkie, we saw it swim before.”

She shook her head. “No, not like that. Water doesn't make it melt or anything like that. It can't heal when it's under water. I think it needs air to heal itself. If we force it under water, it won't be able to get back up.”

Raj paused, thinking. “How did you figure this out?”

“I found where it dragged itself out of the river. It was in a shallow part really far from the waterfall, somewhere it would have surfaced. It didn't start moving until it reached there.”

“Flimsy evidence.” It made sense as anything in Equestria did. Pinkie also had a strange knowledge and intuition of these creatures. “Can't hurt to try though. Don't really have any other option at this point. Big question though, how do you propose we do that, huh? We can't just pop its water wings.”

“Well of course we can't, it's super sharp. They would be pre-popped. Trust me, I know all about inflatable rubber things.” She hopped up on the window sill. “We need something to drag it into the water, like an anchor.”

“We don't have an anchor Pinkie.”

“No, but we do have that.” She pointed a hoof and smiled.

Raj looked out the window and saw what she was indicating. A stone tower, thin but tall, on the northwest corner of the castle that was slumping towards the river. It had decayed with the rest of the castle and had crumbled sections all along its length. So badly had it decayed that the heavy mooring chains hooked to the turret had long since snapped, leaving lengths of heavy iron dangling off the side of it.

He looked at it for a little bit and nodded. “Yeah, that could work.”

* * *

The run to the tower was a quick one, but it did not go unnoticed. They heard the creature coming before they saw it, but hopefully, it was the last series of terrible shrieks that the two would ever hear.

The two of them ducked against the side of the tower and stared up at the dangling chains, the longest of which hung just a few feet over their heads. He noticed a fallen link near the wall and bent down to inspect it. It was as corroded as you would expect a centuries-old iron chain to be, but it felt sturdy. Pinkie nudged close and inspected the metal. “Will it work? Will it work?”

He replied, “Those links are pretty thick, near an inch I'd say, probably heavy enough to weigh the thing down. May not be strong enough to hold it though. Iron can rust a shell over itself if it's thick enough that will protect it from further damage, but I don't know if what's here will be strong enough to—” he was cut off when Pinkie dove into his chest and knocked him to the ground. An instant later a crack sounded and a spray of needles bounced off the stone and scattered over them.

They were back up in a second and then the Bandersnatch was on them again. It swiped at him, bouncing forward on its back legs to press the advantage. Raj backed up to get his bearings and sidestepped in, swinging his axes at its swiping paws. His blades cleaved through its flesh and it backpedaled, holding its sliced legs close to itself as it let out a warning growl.

Raj shuffled closer to the entrance to the tower and glanced over at Pinkie. He dropped an ax to the ground in front of her and said, “You go chop the chain down, I'll keep it busy.”

“Okey dokey, be careful.” She bit the handle and started up the spiraling stairs. Raj didn't spare her a second's glance before the Bandersnatch rushed in at him again.

Raj dove and rolled to the side, coming up in a bounce that took him out of the thing's reach. Down an ax, he couldn't risk going in for a strike, all he had to do was avoid taking a hit and keep it occupied. He did just that, leaping and rolling and always keeping his ax up to deflect errant strikes.

In the tower, Pinkie was at the halfway mark, running up the spiraling stairs as fast as possible. She ran past an exposed portion of the stair in time to see Raj slide underneath the Bandersnatch’s pounce. The creature slid and spun into another charge, but Raj was already running. Distracted, she didn't notice a patch of lichen growing on the step and she slipped, hitting her chin on the step. She let out a sharp cry of pain that drew the attention of both the fighters in the yard.

The Bandersnatch looked up and went wide around Raj to spring onto the tower, claws scrabbling for the gap.

“Hey!” Raj shouted after it, “I'm not done with you.” He leaped up after it and gained purchase on a loose brick. He was just about to dive at it, but the thing's tail whipped him across the stomach. He let out a cry of pain and lost his grip, falling ten feet to the ground to land flat on his back. Air rushed out of him, and he rolled on his side, clutching his gut and groaning. He looked up just in time to see the thing's snaking tail draw into the hole in the building.

Raj rose up, ignoring the pain in his midsection and shouted “Pinkie! It's coming!”

He heard a warbling cry from inside the tower, and a moment later Pinkie called out, “I know!” He could track the Bandersnatch's progress as its bulk bulged out the eroded bricks of the tower in a spiraling line. An explosion of popping balloons and bursting confetti was followed an instant later by a roar of frustration and a patch of bricks pushing free of the wall.

Knowing that the party cannon would have bought her time, Raj unwrapped his uniform jacket to see how bad his wound was. He immediately noted that his intestines were not hanging out, which was always a good thing, but his stomach was covered in abrasions and scratches from the creature's spiny tail. Knowing how powerfully it could snap that tail, it was likely that it hadn’t even struck him on purpose. If it had been a determined strike, the thing would have sliced him in half.

Shelving that sobering thought, he struggled to his feet and started towards the door. He halted when he heard a voice cry out from overhead, “Rajy!”

He looked up to see Pinkie's head poking over the edge of the tower with a panicked grimace. He shouted back, “Pinkie, jump down I'll catch you.”

“Don't worry about me. Knock the tower down!”

“What?” he asked.

“Knock it into the river!” She looked behind herself and then sprang off the tower, falling only a few feet before catching onto one of the dangling chains. The Bandersnatch leaned off the turret and snarled down at her, clawing and scratching futilely at her. She pushed off the tower and swung around, kicking the dangling chains up at the Bandersnatch as it clung to the stone and swiped at her.

Raj was not in a questioning mood and rushed to the far side of the tower. The central pillar had compressed its foundation bricks, warping and bulging them out like overcrowded teeth. He swung his axe, slicing through them easily and washing the wall in dust. He gripped the ax in both hands and swung again and again, each time cleaving away more brick and mortar.

After fifteen swings, the whole tower lurched towards him and the yawning cavity he'd cut into the pillar closed slightly. Not yet satisfied, he took two more swings to open it up more and the whole structure pitched hard as shaken bricks crumbled against the floor. Raj covered his head and dashed out the low door.

He slid to a halt and looked back to see the whole building tipping away from him. As it crumbled, Pinkie stood up on her hooves and let go of the chain, sliding down the stone face. The Bandersnatch scrabbled over the crenelated turret after her, but jolted to a halt and its body twisted around its foreleg. Squinting, Raj saw that one of the broken chains was tangled around its leg, kicked onto it by Pinkie while she had been hanging from the tower.

The creature let out a pitiless howl as the tower lost its remaining structure and pitched towards the river. It hit with an almighty splash and the gunshot-loud crack of fracturing stone. Raj hurried to the vine webbed fence and cut through it to look down at the rapidly sinking building and the struggling beast on top of it. The Bandersnatch pulled and struggled against the chain, creaking the metal enough that Raj feared it would free itself.

However, the water rose past the thing's hackles and it was still restrained. The last he saw of the thing was it starting to gnaw on its restrained limb as the tower tilted and sank into the river. Then it was just a white blur in bubbling water that disappeared after a second. There was a moment of quiet before he felt a dull impact through his boots.

He let out a shuddering breath and leaned his head against the fence, shoulders slumping. Pinkie gently nudged him with the axe she had borrowed. She slid it back in his harness and asked, “Did it work? I didn't see.”

“It did. Thing's at the bottom of the river,” he responded flatly.

She sighed in relief. “Alright, finally.” She nudged his side again. “Told you it would work. That thing won't be a problem for anypony for a long, long time,” she replied rather smugly. They both stood there for a minute, watching the last bubbles rise to the surface.

Once the river was nothing more than smoothly flowing water, they were gone.

* * *

The train was supposed to arrive at noon of the next day. They made it there just as the sun was going down.

Neither were in good shape. Pinkie was stained with dirt and mud, her coat thick with burrs, twigs, and sap. Her mane was so mussed that her alligator was forced to ride on her back, his share of the Troll's Beard clamped in his toothless maw. They'd found him not even an hour's walk from where Pinkie had sent him out. Raj was in an even sorrier state. The bandages wrapped around his midsection had dried into a crusty mess, and he clutched at them constantly. Neither of them had slept in more than thirty hours.

Raj ignored the insistent jabs of agony from his bruised muscles and scanned up and down the tracks for their train, or any train for that matter. He saw none, just blank tracks curving out of view behind a wall of trees. Without a sound, he collapsed into the grass next to the tracks, staring up at the band of sky between the trees.

Pinkie sidled up and nudged him. “Rajrishi, come on. Get up.”

“Why?” he shot back.

“Because we need to get back to Ponyville. If the train isn't here, we’ll need to get to the next station ourselves.”

He chuckled. “Do you mean the one that's a hundred miles away? Or the one that's even further than that?”

“The first one,” she answered with confusion.

“Oh, well yeah. Of course.” He sat up “Let's just jaunt over there and catch a rail home. Why, it should only take us until noon tomorrow to show up. What's another fourteen hours of traveling without rest? Trivial at this point!”

She grinned at him. “Great! Come on.” She pulled at his shirt.

“Wait, I have a better idea Pinkie.” He stood up fully, voice rising in volume. “Why don't I shove the beard clear up my ass and I'll just fart it into town! Load some confetti in there for ballast, cause if I'm going to colon-cannon this stuff anywhere, I want it to be festive!” he shouted at her.

Pinkie stepped back, looking back and forth in bewilderment. “I don't... can humans do that?”

“No! We can't!” he screamed at her hard enough that his voice echoed through the trees.

Pinkie simpered and hoofed at the ground meekly. “Oh... you're mad.”

“You're Goddamn right I'm mad.” He growled at her. “This shouldn't have happened. You should have come straight here and met the damn train. You'd be in Ponyville by now, curing ponies and planning on how to come back for me. Instead, we're out here, stuck hundreds of miles from where we need to be with no real way of getting back.”

She stuttered back, “B-But I found out how the stop the Bandersnatch. What would you have done if I didn't—”

“I would have followed the plan,” he shot back with a vicious glare “I would have figured it out. I don't care if you found a railgun or something that would kill it dead. That was not our primary concern. Our job was to save Ponyville, to get this plant to the sick ponies it could help. Now, because you lost your nerve, those ponies are not going to get help, and that will be on you, Pinkie.”

Pinkie grimaced and bit her lip, eyes going watery and mane dropping flat. She started to say something, but it was lost to a burst of tears as she collapsed to the ground, sobbing and wailing. Raj continued to glare at her through her fit, anger shining through the fatigue. He turned sharply and started down the track, intent on the only option that was left to him.

A steam whistle sounded from further up the tracks.

The two of them froze, looked at each other and started bolting down the tracks, screaming their heads off. After a minute they saw the burning headlight of the engine come into view, and they shouted louder to be heard over the machine. As they neared, it squealed to a halt and the door to the driver's compartment slid open. Their driver, Piston, looked out at them and said, “Well, look who it is. You two still need that ride back to Ponyville?”

The two laughed with relief as they climbed into the train.

Embellishment

Rajrishi lifted his hand out of the steaming water and stared at it, studying the pruning and wrinkles forming on his skin. He limply slapped his hand back down into the steaming water and returned to staring at the ceiling of the spa's baths.

The serene quiet of the chamber was broken by a swirl of energy followed by a loud crack and a flash of light. Twilight Sparkle shook her head and looked over at him. “There you are.”

He waved lazily. “Hey Twilight. How're you doing?”

“Fine, now. What are you doing here?”

“Bathing, which makes this interrupting just a little bit weird by the way.” He ran a cloth down his arm and rung it out into the foggy water.

“I didn't know Aloe and Lotus had the spa up and running again already.”

“They don't, I came in on my own. Nobody locks their doors in this town, it's crazy.”

Twilight scowled. “Yeah, they don't lock their doors because nopony breaks into anyplace.”

“Don't give me that. This is the only tub in the whole town that can fit me, Applejack checked, and I was a special kind of filthy. Speaking of which, does Pinkie still smell like skunk stuff?”

Twilight crinkled her nose. “Yes, she does. Everypony has been polite enough not to bring it up though.”

Raj chuckled. “Hilarious. How you holding up?”

“Fever's gone with no lasting effects, same with the mutations. Still getting used to, well, normal legs again.” She looked back at her rear legs and curled them slightly. “Everypony else is doing great. The last of the patients were treated a few hours ago and everypony saw an immediate transformation back to normal and a reduction in their fever within minutes. A few ponies are still being held for observation, but that's just a precaution. We still have a lot of the cure left, so we're going to store it in case a followup outbreak occurs.”

“Thank God. I've never been so happy that a train was six hours late. Any injuries or anything?”

“Yes. Nothing serious though, a few bumps and a few sprained muscles. Spike did a great job corralling the town. Nopony seems to have experienced anything permanent.”

He slumped into the water. “Except for Mr. Waddle.”

Twilight winced, “Yes, except for him.” She was quiet for a second. “It was the fever Rajrishi, his constitution couldn't handle it. It... happened quietly shortly after you left, he hadn't even mutated yet. There's nothing anyone could have done.”

“I know. Still sucks.”

Twilight came close and propped up on the side of the tub. “Pinkie told me what you two went through, with Featherkeep and the... Bandersnatch you found.”

“Did she now?”

“Yeah, she told me that you two ran into it near a river, that you jumped across a gorge to escape it. That you fought it all throughout the ruins of Featherkeep and volunteered to stay behind so she could get the cure to everypony.” She smiled slightly, “She's hopping around telling the entire town what a hero you are.”

“I saw that. She wouldn't shut up about it.” Raj splashed the water and stared down for a moment, “Did she tell you what she did?” Twilight shook her head. “She came up with every plan that worked, she identified the monster, she looked after me when I was freaking out so bad I couldn't walk, and she's the one that found the actual stuff we were looking for.” He counted off on his fingers. “Hell, the reason we were late is that she thought she needed to come back for me. Honestly, I just made everything worse.”

Twilight looked at him curiously. “Raj, that's ridiculous. How would Pinkie have handled the Bandersnatch without you there to fight it? She couldn't have beaten it alone.”

“She wouldn't have to. She could have avoided it, stayed away from it or hid or a thousand other things I couldn't predict. Pinkie is surprisingly capable, I think everyone underestimates her. She could have handled this whole thing on her own, she should have actually. The part I can't figure out is why she isn't telling everyone that I was just some dour albatross the whole time?”

Twilight looked at him for a moment and giggled, “You really don't know Pinkie.” She propped herself up on the edge of the tub. “Do you know about Pinkie's cutie mark?”

“Yeah, it's a bunch of balloons. It shows that she's good at throwing parties.”

Twilight shook her head. “She's good at parties, but it's not her talent. Pinkie's mark is a little more abstract than that. Her talent is making ponies happy.”

Raj paused for a moment and said, “Is... is that it?”

Twilight nodded. “It is.”

“I'm not a pony though.”

Twilight rolled her eyes and splashed at him. “You know what I mean. Pretty much everything Pinkie does is about improving somepony's happiness, it's what she does. And if you're right and she's handing credit over to you, then she's doing it because she thinks it will make you happier.” After a second Twilight shrugged. “Or she's trying to improve your standing with the town, or she honestly thinks that you saved everypony. Who knows?”

“Easy, I'll just ask her. I'll figure this out.”

“Trying to figure out Pinkie Pie is a losing game Raj. All you'll do is get an anvil dropped on your head. It's best just to let her be herself and be glad that you have somepony like her in your life.” She dropped back down. “Now come out of there, your water has gone cold and you've gone all pruny.”

Raj grabbed a towel and said, “Why should I? I don't have anywhere to go.”

“Oh yes you do, Pinkie is throwing a Nopony-is-a-frog/belated-birthday-party-for-Rajrishi... party. The name needs work, I'll admit. The whole town is going to be there.”

“Will there be cake?”

“There's always cake. You should know that by now.”

“I really should.” he sighed as he rose out of the tub wearing a towel and pulled on his clothes.

And a minute later Raj ventured onto the Ponyville square amidst the cheers of celebrating ponies with a smile on his face.

Author's Note

I was about three-quarters of the way through the next chapter with this as the opener. It didn't really fit with the flow so I cut it. There was still some important stuff there so I decided to make it a standalone and put it out early since it was done already. I know it's short, but it is what it is.

Clean Up Nice

Rarity huffed as she fed more material into her sewing machine, moving with exacting precision to avoid a misplaced stitch. She squinted at the bouncing needle, hoping it wouldn't be out of line like her last four attempts. After close to ten minutes of laser-focused work she reached the end of the hem and she let out a long sigh of relief and slid the cloth from the machine to inspect it, laughing a little bit at her eventual success. She studied the perfectly aligned stitch and froze.

“What? No, what is that?” She leaned in close to look at a spattering of dark moisture spots along the seam. With a small wince of horror, she realized that she was so focused, so absolutely intent on what she was doing, she hadn't even noticed the sweat dripping off her muzzle and onto the cloth as she fed it into the machine. She'd have to pop the seam, wash it, and try all over again.

That realization set her eye twitching unhealthily.

Just then, the bell above her door rang cheerfully and Applejack trotted in with a basket of bedsheets on her back. “Heya Rarity. Ah was hopin' you could do me a favor and mend these sheets for -Horseapples!” she cried out as she hit the deck, an airborne sewing machine sailing over her and into the yard.

“Applejack!” Rarity cried out at her friend and galloped over. “Oh my goodness, are you alright darling?”

“M' fine, just a mite surprised.” Applejack stood up and dusted herself off. “Not everyday ah gotta dodge flying machinery. You feelin' okay sugarcube?”

“Yes, er, no not really. I've just been so frustrated the last few days that any little thing can set me off. Water stains on satin and I'm throwing sewing machines. I'm sorry Applejack.” she lowered her head meekly.

Applejack sighed and shrugged off her load. “It's fine Rares, no harm no foul. Ah just need some sheets fixed up, if'n you can get to it.”

“But of course darling. No charge even, on account of the near assault.” She levitated the bundle off Applejack's back and started stitching with her telekinesis.

Applejack watched her work for a bit, hoping the familiar task would calm her down, before asking, “Now what's got you whipped up so hard yer tossin' things 'round? Customer make an order yer havin' trouble with?”

Rarity shook her head. “Far from. Business is a little slow right now actually. No, I'm upset about something far worse than a demanding order.” She pointed towards her window bench and a letter laying open on it. “One of my preferred clients sent me that a week ago. Oh, it's just awful!”

Applejack went over and smoothed the paper out and leaned in close the read the delicate writing. “Dear Miss Rarity, you are cordially invited to attend the Equestrian Air Navy Ball, celebrating one-thousand years of dedicated service defending the skies of Equestria and beyond.” Applejack knit her brow in confusion. “Well, heck Rares, this shindig sounds right up yer alley. Buncha fancy nobleponies all in one place. Why's it got you in such a state?”

“Read the bottom Applejack. There you'll find the source of my... mood.”

Applejack squinted, looking for what could be causing her friend such distress. “This invitation is your ticket for admission for you and one guest of your choosing?” Her ears went flat. “Wait, is that what's wrong?”

“Of course it is Applejack! My ticket is for me and a plus one and I don't have a one!” She cried out, tears swelling her eyes. In front of her, the needle missed a stitch.

Applejack sat back and gave her friend a disapproving look. “That's why yer tossin' stuff out onto yer lawn? Cause yah don't have a date to go with ya? Just go stag, being by yerself won't kill ya.”

Rarity sucked in an overblown gasp and pressed a hoof to her chest. “Applejack! Bite your tongue! I can't go to an event as prestigious as the Navy Ball without somepony to escort me. The scandal! I'm already going to be an outsider at the event having never served, if I'm the only single mare in attendance I'll be an outcast. Equina non grata! It would ruin me.” She lowered herself to the floor and added, “Besides, I've already RSVP'd that I would have somepony with me.”

“Well now why'd you go and do that before ya had a date sugarcube?” Applejack asked.

“I had planned to find an appropriately dashing stallion to attend with me over this last week, but the sudden appearance of a nightmarish, mutating disease occupied much of my time.” She slumped her shoulders. “I've sent telegrams out to every eligible bachelor pony I could countenance inviting, but it's so last minute that nopony can manage it.”

Applejack walked close and put a comforting hoof on her friend's shoulder. “Well, Rarity, could you take somepony from town? Ah know that Thunderlane would leap at the chance to go with ya, same with Ace for sure. Cloudkicker'd be good for it too. She was in the Guard for a little bit, bet she'd be thrilled.”

Rarity shook her head. “No, no, that simply won't do. I can't invite just anypony. Thunderlane is not nearly refined enough to go to an event so grand and Ace would embarrass me with that garish mustache. I, Rarity the Unicorn, would need somepony with style, manners and wit to be a proper date for the evening. Anything less would simply be worse than not going at all.” She paused for a moment to fold up the last of the sheets before adding “And Cloudkicker is already attending, I checked.”

Applejack shrugged and patted her friend again. “Well horeseapples Rares, 'fraid ah don't have any more ideas. Seems yer up a creek alright.”

Rarity lowered her head towards the floor. “As am I. It seems I will have to snub my client's generosity. Perhaps if I wire them soon they'll be able to find somepony else to take my seats. Thank you for talking me down Applejack.”

A minute of companionable silence passed before they both heard “Hey, is this sewing machine here for anyone to take or is this a really weird robbery?”

“Raj?” Applejack asked to the air. “Rajrishi is that you?”

“Yeah, it's me.” he ducked in through the short door. “Hey Applejack. Is the boutique being robbed? Cause I think it's part of my job to do something about that.”

“Nah, nothing like that. Rarity just tossed the thing out there on account of some things she's got going on.”

“Oh, sorry to hear that. You okay Rarity?”

Rarity shook her doldrums off and put a warm smile back on. “Yes, yes, I'm fine. No worries darling, just a momentary snit. Welcome to Carousel Boutique, where everything is elegant, chic, and magnifique. How may I help you?”

Raj reached into a pocket and held out a small scroll. “Work order from Princess Luna. She's commissioned a new uniform for the entire Lunar Guard and she wants Carousel Boutique to put it together.”

“Certainly darling.” she lifted the order out of his hand and examined it, bolts of cloth sliding out of their sockets as she read down the list.

“The whole Lunar Guard?” Applejack raised an eyebrow. “Ain't that just you?”

“Yes it is Applejack, very astute. Apparently walking around shirtless wearing ill-fitting pants isn't good enough for the Captain of the Lunar Guard, or at least that's what the Princess said when she came for my report this morning.” He held up his hands and rolled his eyes. “Crazy, right?”

Applejack chuckled a bit. “Didn't ya have yer hat and the little fringe thingies on yer coat? That weren't good enough?”

“I lost the hat in a river and the coat got covered in something smelly. So no, apparently not.”

“Something smelly? You mean when Pinkie wet herself on ya?” she asked with a slightly crinkled muzzle.

“Oh, she told you that. Surprising. That seemed like a keep-it-to-yourselfer to me but I don't judge.”

As the two talked, realization started to grow on Rarity's face before she quashed it. She stepped forward, eyes narrowed slightly and piped up. “Wait a moment Rajrishi, you're the Captain of the Lunar Guard, a new and prestigious military branch formed by Princess Luna herself.”

Raj looked down at her and blinked, “I... I am. That wasn't really a question, was it?”

She chuckled lightly and continued. “I was simply talking some things to myself Rajrishi dear. Tell me, what are you doing tomorrow evening?”

“I was going to write up some human stuff for Twilight but I can do that any time. Why you asking?”

Rarity smiled broadly and bounced her mane a few times. “Well my dear Rajrishi, the Equestrian Air Navy Ball is tomorrow evening in Canterlot. Every important military pony in Equestria will be there to celebrate their millennial founding day. I had managed to acquire a pair of tickets for myself but my escort has become unavailable unexpectedly. I'd be happy to bring you if you're interested.”

“Are you asking me on a date? I'm married you know.” Raj said with some reproach

Rarity rolled her eyes. “Yes, I am well aware of your wife Rajrishi. I intended the offer strictly as a platonic affair. You're likely to be a major topic of conversation even if you choose not to attend and I believed you wanted to capitalize on that. Rub elbows with the existing branches, see if you can drum up aid for your force as well as for your search for a way home. If I am wrong about that then you do not have to attend with me.”

“Huh.” Raj leaned back with his hands in his pockets. “That sounds pretty good actually. I think I could use the exposure, see if I can rationalize my position here. Problem is, I don't have anything to wear.” He gestured down at his shirtless and shoeless body. “Can you make Luna's designs before tomorrow?”

“Darling.” She said flatly, her work glasses floating onto her face. “Can't, is not in my vocabulary. I'll have it done by this evening.” She levitated up bolts of cloth, needles, thread, and the other tools of her craft.

“Awesome. Thanks Rarity.” Raj said with a grateful smile.

“You're quite welcome darling. Now run along, I have to create.” She pulled a sheaf of dark purple fabric from the spool and started measuring cuts.

Raj nodded his goodbye to Applejack and strode out. Applejack watched him go and looked back at her friend, “Y'know, you probably could have just asked him outright. He woulda said yes, yah didn't have to spin him like that.”

“I suppose I could have darling, but where would the fun be in that?” she chirped back, a coy smile on her face.

* * *

It was a small comfort, but a comfort nonetheless, that even after traveling trillions of miles women still took forever to get themselves ready.

Rarity had vanished into the restroom aboard their sleeper cabin as soon as the two had set foot on the train. Within moments he heard the churn of the sink, the whine of a hair-dryer, and the tell-tale sounds of a dozen or more other feminine beauty devices that had not abated for several hours. Canterlot was just a few turns distant when the door opened and the unicorn in question emerged.

The most notable thing was that her mane was up, the back pinned to her head to create volume with the rest done in a series of curls with a tiny, clipped in hat next to her horn. Raj noted that each curl was a different size and had been placed very deliberately, immediately informing him what had taken her so much time. She wore a sleeveless stormy-blue number that blew out at the hips with a frilly neck ruffle colored a dark orchid. Compared to her manestyle, Raj would have said it was almost plain until he saw that the fabric was texture-patterned with the shape of flower petals, an effect only visible when the light hit it just right.

She smiled and spun in place, letting him see the whole presentation. “Well darling?”

“Looking good Rares.” he complimented, thoroughly telling the truth.

Rarity giggled and covered her mouth with a surprisingly bare hoof. “Thank you dear. Thank goodness I had this dress made before that whole Froggy Flu business. It would have been unacceptable to re-hash anything to such a grande event." She eyed him up and down and hummed in approval. "And might I say you cut quite the dash yourself.”

Raj had not been idle in the intervening hours. His silver piped, purple coat had been ironed to perfection and his black dress pants were creased crisply enough to cut somebody. He'd polished his old boots until they shone like new and he made sure that all his buttons gleamed like stars. His rank bars sat in the precise center of his high collar with not even a millimeter's variance. He'd even tied his formal turban over and over again until he was certain it was the finest one he'd ever done. Smiling Raj ran his hands down his front and stood at ease. “I clean up nicely I think.”

“You certainly do.” She shuffled over to a bench and eased herself down onto it. “Now then, we should be getting there shortly. A carriage is scheduled to gather us straight away from the train and take us to the ball. I know that this is a strictly innocent engagement, but there will be a few things that will be expected. Upon arrival, help me out of the carriage and take my hoof as we enter. Get the door for me and keep your hooves, er, hands out of your pockets. Don't scratch, don't lean, don't-”

Raj held up a hand to interrupt. “Rarity, I know how to be a gentleman. You don't need to worry.”

She bit her lip a bit and blushed. “Of course, I forgot. I'm so used to stallions from Ponyville being... unrefined. It's a reflex at this point.”

“I get it. You'd be better off telling me some stuff about the event itself. Like, am I going to be expected to dance? Because I'm not great at that with my own species, much less yours.”

She laughed, “Dancing? In this dress? Goodness no.” She smiled wider. “Simply be polite, shake hooves, and try to remember names darling. I'm sure everything will be fine.”

And with that ominous statement, the brakes shrieked as the train slid up to the Canterlot platform.

Can't Take You Anywhere

Not twenty minutes later the pair's taxi rattled to a halt on a length of tarmac. The stallion pulling it dabbed sweat from his brow and called out to his passengers.

True to manners, Raj was the first one out. He graciously unfolded the step and stood with his hand at the ready. Rarity laid her hoof in his palm and daintily pranced down to the ground. Her horn sparked and a pile of bits zoomed out of her dress and into their driver's pocket. The stallion nodded his thanks and galloped off the train station once more to collect another lucrative fair.

Like most military run affairs, the Equestrian Air Navy Ball was being held on a military base, in one of their airship hangars in fact. Arm-in-hoof, the two made their way towards a pair of ushers guiding guests through the yawning doors. Even at a distance they could hear the faint din of voices echoing in the enormous space.

Raj looked up and down the long runway. “Lot's of ponies. Didn't think there would be this much of a turnout.” He took a few more steps. “Alright, I admit it. I'm nervous.”

Rarity gave him a pat on the arm. “Don't fret darling, now is not the time to be getting cold hooves. If you make some sort of social gaffe I'll be sure to deflect any ill will with my own wit and charm. No need to worry.”

Raj glanced down at her. “That is... not all that comforting.”

Before she could respond, they both heard a refined voice call out, “Rarity? Rarity the Unicorn, is that you?”

The aforementioned pony looked around for the source of the voice and her face brightened. “Fancy Pants!” She let go of Raj's arm and trotted over to an impeccably dressed stallion wearing a monocle of all things. They shared some close words before they both remembered decorum and greeted each other with a respectful bow. Raj caught up and stood at a respectful distance.

After a minute Rarity turned back to him and gestured with a hood. “Fancy Pants, may I introduce my friend, Captain Rajrishi Singh Oberoi of the Lunar Guard. Rajrishi, Sir Fancy Pants.”

They both bowed respectfully before stepping in to shake hands/hooves. “Captain, eh? You must have made quite the impression on the princess.”

“You could say that. What about you sir? I didn't hear a branch in your title and you don't seem be wearing a uniform.”

“Oh no, no. I was in the Royal Reserves when I was a younger stallion, but I have been retired for more than ten years now. My invitation comes by my wife, Fleur.” He glanced around quickly. “Who seems to have vanished I'm afraid.”

“I'm sure she's inside already Fancy. In fact, we should be too. The christening is about to start, is it not?”

Fancy looked down a watch on his fetlock. “So it is. Well, hurry along you two. You still have to get through the receiving line. My table is right underneath the podium, we will be able to see everything.”

Rarity blinked. “Um, but our ticket has us near the back.” She flashed the curl of paper at him.

Fancy Pants waved a hoof. “Nonsense Rarity. You are my friend and I patently refuse to be seated so distant from those I enjoy the company of.” At that he turned on a hoof and strode towards the hangar, Rarity practically bristling with joy at being able to sit with such a respected pony.

They made it to the crush of bodies waiting to be ushered in, a general murmur of congeniality among the uniformed stallions and mares. He gave his name to the adjutant at the door and was introduced to a more than a dozen officers, each one visibly surprised to see him and hear his rank. Raj saw bars and medals he had no hope of recognizing pinned to the chests of dozens of ponies. One of them seemed so decorated in commendations his jacket sagged under their weight.

Inside the hangar the whole place had been re-worked for the event. The normal work floor had been stripped out and the natural granite of the mountain had been smoothed and polished to an elegant speckle. Hundreds of round tables dressed in red tablecloths filled the space, reaching hundreds of feet to the rear of the hangar. The braces of the walls hung banners the size of bed-sheets, each one proudly displaying the emblem of one of the Air Navy's regiments, every one dressed with a long scroll detailing that formation's history. Some were short, so short only curious pegasi would be able to read them, suggesting either their youth or a tragedy. Others were so ancient their roll of accomplishments consumed the wall and ran across the floor.

Rajrishi only noticed the banners in passing as most of his attention was taken by the looming behemoth of an airship that hung in the center of the hangar, a giant of metal and wood that floated peacefully in the air. The thing's violet and white paneled bag dominated the space, enormous to the point of being difficult to measure with just his eyes. From it dangled an actual ship on strong cables, colored sails bristling along the hull like the fins of an exotic fish. A pair of long, spindled turbines ran along the underside of the hull that glittered with energy and rotated lazily even at rest.

A tug on his sleeve pulled him from his staring and Rarity whispered. “Rajrishi, come along. There will be time to look at the ship later.”

“That's an airship.” He said dumbly, pointing up at the huge vessel.

She gave him a queer look and cocked her head. “Yes, yes it is. What did you think the Air Navy fielded, frisbees? Now come along.” At that she trotted off and he shuffled to keep up in the sea of chattering ponies.

Raj caught up with his date just as she reached the table. Fancy Pants seemed to be having a whispered conversation with his wife, a snowy white unicorn in a dress uniform and gray beret, both marked with a golden caduceus. She scanned him up and down before saying something insistent to her husband who shook his head and seemed to brush off her concerns. His horn lit and two chairs slid out from the table. “I'm afraid we'll have to save introductions for later, the opening address is about to start.” Raj politely waited for Rarity to be seated before lowering himself into the tiny seat.

Seconds after a polite cough sounded throughout the huge space. Raj scanned around for a second before Rarity directed his gaze up and he saw a lanky stallion speaking into a microphone at the prow of the airship. The pony leaned forward and said to the crowd “Everypony, please be quiet. Sky Marshal Coltumbus has a few things he would like to say.”

A murmur passed through the crowd for a moment before silence settled over the crowd. Then the oldest pony Rajrishi had ever seen was rolled up to the microphone in a wheelchair, so old even his coat and feathers had gone a pallid grey and a ridge of wrinkled skin hooded his eyes.

He said in a commanding tone "Thank you all for coming tonight." He leaned back and cleared his throat for a moment before continuing “This evening, this evening marks the one-thousandth founding day of the Equestrian Air Navy. This force was put in place to safeguard the skies of equinekind against all threats during the tumultuous aftermath of the Lunar Crisis. By wing and ship we have repelled every threat to Equestria that has dared make itself known for ten centuries. The Griffin Incursion, the Rakshasa Lords, and a thousand other monsters detailed in the records decorating these walls, all defeated. We gather here tonight to celebrate this millennium of victory with our brethren in arms, the brave ponies of the Royal Guard and Equestrian Army.” Coltumbus paused for a applause and reached a wing out towards a bottle set next to him. “To commemorate those victories, this day marks the deployment of the Air Navy's greatest vessel to date. I christen this ship, The Break of Day. May she serve long and honorably.” At that he swung the bottle down with force and shattered it against the railing.

The room erupted in applause as the old stallion was wheeled away, whistles and jeers chasing him off the deck. Raj thought the speech was somewhat mediocre, but knew it would be terribly rude to say as much so he joined in.

As the noise echoed away Fancy grabbed a glass in his horngrip and said “My word, Marshal Coltumbus is still alive and serving. I never would have guessed.”

His wife shrugged. “Eighty-eight years in that office last June. Other ponies have signed up, risen through the ranks, and died waiting to take his spot just since he's had it. But he keeps hanging on.”

Rarity smiled through the grim subject. “Well, at least he got to see a new ship come out for the Navy before he retires. The last one was half a century ago, wasn't it?”

Fancy nodded. “I believe it was. The Essene, fifty meters in the aft and twenty abeam, three arcantrick engines and a five-thousand liter bag. Now that is a fine ship, best one I've ever set hoof on. Not like this... behemoth.” He gestured a hoof at the enormous vessel taking up the hangar.

“It is a bit ostentatious, but I'm certain the design is sound. What is it for exactly?” Rarity asked.

“Long patrols.” All the ponies at the table turned towards Rajrishi, surprised to hear him speak.

Fancy smiled. “Right you are Captain. The Break of Day is going to be patrolling the northern border of the Crystal Empire, a journey of about seven or so months. It should be heading out later this week. Well spotted Captain, are you a disciple of airship design?”

“Not at all. Just figured it out. The only reason you'd have something that big would be if it's moving a lot of stuff or if it needs to manage in the field on its own for long stretches of time. Since this is a military ship, I took a guess.”

“Fine guess it was then.”

Rajrishi smiled at him. “What I'm curious about is what's inside it. What kind of gas does the bag use and how is it circulated?”

“I'm afraid you'll have to speak with a more learned pony than myself I'm afraid. I'm only a hobbyist when it comes to airships. All I know is that they goes up and hopefully come back down.” He laughed lightly and turned his attention back to the other ponies at the table.

Raj settled into his chair and Rarity leaned over to nudge him. “See? You're doing fine.”

“Still catching a lot of looks though. Not sure what that's about.” Raj scanned the room and noticed a few sets of eyes darting away from him when he looked their way.

Rarity looked around for a moment but didn't see any watching ponies. “You're just being paranoid darling. Now come, ponies are starting to go aboard the ship and I want to see it as well.” She stood up and presented her hoof. He obligingly took it and they started slowly towards the loading ramp.

As they walked, ponies of various kinds would stop to greet Rarity or she would catch sight of someone she wanted to introduce herself to. Each time, Rajrishi introduced himself politely and stood quietly as the mare finished her business. It was quite boring, but he knew full well that this was the reason he came along, to serve as a prop so that Rarity could rub shoulders with the noble and elite ponies of Equestria.

As he stood however, he grew more and more certain that ponies were staring at him. Not just staring either, they covered their mouths and spoke to each other sideways in an attempt to be discrete. Somewhat unnecessary Raj thought, since there was no way he could hear them over the low roar of conversation in the hangar, but he didn't appreciate the underhandedness of it. He briefly wondered why he was catching so many eyes before remembering that he was an alien from another planet and decided to leave it at that.

As they stepped aboard the ship Raj immediately felt uncomfortable. The deck swayed and bobbed almost imperceptibly, just enough to throw off his balance, a fact not aided by the not-insignificant height they now stood at. A quick glance around showed that nobody else on the craft was experiencing the same problem and he immediately grabbed the gunwale, desperate to not trip and embarrass himself.

Rarity slid up next to him and whispered. “Raj, why don't you go look below deck? I know you're interested in seeing how the ship works and I'll just mingle here on deck.” She smiled up at him and fluttered her eyelashes.

He didn't know if it was luck, Rarity trying to get rid of him so he didn't cramp her style or something, or if she'd noticed his discomfort and opted to give him a graceful out from the uneasy swaying of the deck. After a second he figured the point was moot and nodded. “Sure, I'll see if I can talk to someone about the ship.”

“Excellent, look for me up here when you have your fill.” She about faced and trotted over to a cluster of ponies that were either her friends or were about to be as Raj sidled his way down the narrow steps.

Thankfully the ship was built with high ceilings, likely to fumigate out smoke and gases in the event of emergency. The extra height meant Raj was able to stand at his full height, albeit with about two inches of clearance. Having walls to anchor himself to immediately helped his unease.

The below-deck was not nearly as crowded as the deck and actually had some furniture a few officer ponies were lounging in. Raj rounded to corner to continue into the innards of the ship but saw a crimson robe blocking off the hall into the deeper sections. He looked past and saw a few ponies in hardhats and engineering outfits trotting about. He tried to hail one but they either didn't notice or ignored him. Not yet discouraged, Raj opted to simply wait for one to venture closer or head up on deck for something, then he could pull the pony aside and hopefully sate his curiosity.

He strolled over to a bank of windows that covered the aft of the ship, providing a nice view of half the hangar and the banners that were blocked by the ship itself before.

“Finest craft ever built she is.” came a voice from next to him.

Raj almost jumped out of his skin, barely suppressing a surprised squeak at the voice. Raj looked to his left and saw the withered old Pegasus that had christened the ship sitting in a wheelchair. The stallion had been so quiet and unmoving, Raj hadn't even noticed him until he spoke. He stuttered out “F-fine ship, yeah.”

“Not just fine boy, the finest. The best magic, the best engineering, and the best crewponies went into the building of this ship. There won't be another like it for a hundred years.” He rotated his chair, showing off a chest full of medals.

Raj stood up straight, his composure returned. “I can't say about that Marshal, I do not know much about these vessels.”

“Ah, you know who I am. I know who you are too boy.”

Raj narrowed his eyes slightly. “If you know who I am, then you know that my name isn't 'boy', Marshal.”

Coltumbus smiled with half of his face. “Right, right, it's Captain right? Of the whole Lunar Guard? Impressive rise up the ranks boy, nothing to Captain in a day. Bet your daddy's proud.”

“My dad's dead.” Raj replied flatly.

Coltumbus made no reaction that information. “So what are you, anyway? Some sort of demon summoned up with Luna's nightmare magic?”

Raj managed not to sputter at the brazen question. “No such thing, sir. And last time I checked, it's Princess Luna to you and me.” he replied as evenly as he could.

Coltumbus hocked something vile up from his throat and spat it out onto the deck. “Day I call that traitor a Princess is never gonna come. She may have fooled her sister but not me, not the ponies that matter. I don't care what kind of armies she commissions or what kind of demons she calls up, the good ponies of Equestria will never accept some pretender. And when she decides to turn her cloak, we'll be ready to send her back where she belongs!” Coltumbus dropped into a fit of coughing, his excitement proving to be too much for his constitution.

Rajrishi remained standing at attention, politely waiting for the old pony to recover before responding. “Good thing she isn't going to do that because she isn't... whatever you seem to think she is. And once again, I am not a demon. Not even a little bit.”

After a minute of coughing, he started up again. “You know, we decided the name for this ship five years ago, everything was set for it. Then the order comes down to rename it the moonshadow or some nonsense and re-color the sails. Supposed to be a living monument to the sisters themselves. Well, not while I'm still breathing. I'm not letting the greatest ship the Air Navy has ever seen be dedicated to some worthless traitor!” His voice dropped into a hiss “You can bring all that back to your master, beast.”

Raj stared at him squarely for a moment before saying “Sorry Marshal, but Princess Luna doesn't like it when I bring her irrelevant information.”

Coltumbus' eyes widened and rage washed over his face. Before he could launch into a tirade Raj spun on a heel and started walking back on deck. Coltumbus yelled after him “Boy! I did not dismiss you!”

Raj replied back without breaking stride “You don't command me sir.”

* * *

Raj strode back on deck in an understandably foul mood. He scanned around for Rarity and saw her by the portside tables having a heated conversation of her own with a tall, white unicorn.

As he approached he heard the tail end of a comment from the stallion “...by birth, just some menial prole pretending at class.” the circle of ponies gathered around chuckled lightly or hummed their disapproval but leaned in to hear more all the same.

Rarity leaned her head back, offended by the jab and blew an errant curl out of her face. “Class is a matter of action and poise Blueblood, not simply a factor of birth and circumstance. And I put all of my artistic potential in everything I make. I create art that astounds and lasts, art that even royalty appreciates and adores. You simply adorn yourself in class, but I create it! Every day! What have you ever made Prince Blueblood? What will last beyond your years?”

The unicorn was unfazed by this and shot back “Yes, as appropriate and right as it is for someone of your status to take pride in working for your betters, it does not give you even an inkling of the importance of blood. Centuries of world-shaping history flows in my veins, heroes and kings are counted among my lineage. Truly, nobility is incomprehensible to someone so... common.”

Rarity's eye twitched at that. “Common? You... you dare call me 'common'? Oh, It. Is. On!”

As the mare launched into a verbal tirade against the royal unicorn in front of her, Raj leaned down to a pony watching the display and whispered “The hell is going on here?”

The pegasus pointed with a hoof without taking her eyes off the display. “The Prince had some things to say to that unicorn there and she didn't back down from him. I guess they met at the Gala last year and some things happened between them. It's real good to watch though.”

“I bet.” Raj pushed through the ring of ponies and moved towards Rarity as she was winding down.

“... and then inside your own head!” she leaned forwards onto her hooves, face red and out of breath. Raj put a hand on her shoulder and gave her a questioning look.

Blueblood let Rarity's tirade wash off of him. “You see the temper of the common pony? So prone to crudeness at even the lightest provocation.” he laughed to himself and grinned. “And who is this then? Your date? My goodness, you can't even find an escort within your own species. How disappointing for both of you.”

Raj didn't even look at him, just held up a hand and said “Quiet.”

Blueblood blinked. “Now listen here you-”

“Quiet.” he repeated before addressing his date. “What are you doing Rarity?”

Rarity recovered her composure and answered. “Rajrishi, I am having a discussion with this gentlecolt. I shall rejoin you shortly.”

“Really? Cause from here it looks like you're in a public shouting match with some jackass.”

“Excuse me?” Blueblood shouted at the pair. “Did you just call me a-”

“Sir!” Raj cut him off again. “I assure you, the moment I begin to care about whatever stupid shit you have to say, I will let you know. Until then, run along, you are done here.” He gave the stallion a dismissive gesture and turned back to his friend. “Alright, Rarity let's just go back to the table and get something to eat. Forget about this idiot.” He started to lead her away from the stallion.

A bright flash of light appeared in his path and left behind a visibly irate unicorn. Blueblood huffed and glared. “You... you dare dismiss me in such a way, so casually toss me aside like that. Me?!”

“Yeah, I tried, but you're making it awful hard to.” Raj replied, anger edging his voice.

Blueblood snarled. “I demand satisfaction!”

Rarity gasp and pulled her friend's sleeve. “Raj, Raj don't. Don't.”

Rajrishi ignored her pulling and shot back “If you want satisfaction you're going to have to go to the redlight district with a sack of bits like every other sadsack stallion. You won't find any here you bleached ass.” A few of the nearby stallions chuckled at Raj's insult while most of the mares didn't find it funny at all.

Blueblood sputtered “You... You!” His shoe lit with magic and floated up. “I challenge you to a duel!” the shoe lightly smacked Raj in the cheek.

Rarity hissed at him “Rajrishi, you can't. Don't accept, do not-”

“Fine. It's on.” He reached up and grabbed the metal shoe and squeezed it flat with one hand. “I'm gonna make you eat that cummerbund.”

“We'll see ape.” He turned and galloped down the ramp to the ground level, a moment later a gaggle of gossipy ponies intent on spreading the exciting development.

Raj dropped the mangled shoe to the deck and let out a long breath. Rarity pressed her foreleg to her head and gave Raj a rather harsh glare. “Do you have any idea what you've just done?”

“Yeah, I agreed to beat up your ex-boyfriend.”

Rarity shivered. “By the Faustmare no. You just accepted a duel, one issued with his magic. That means he called you out under old Unicornian laws. Do you know what that means?”

Raj looked slightly alarms. “No... no I don't. What's Unicornia?”

“The original Unicorn tribe. They had a rich dueling culture focused on honed magical ability. Under their laws, a duel between unicorns forbade any physical contact between the fighters, it was a test of pure arcane skill.”

Raj blinked. “Wait, but... I don't have that.”

“Which is why it would not have been dishonorable to turn it down, which is why I told you not to accept.” She hissed at him, eyes narrowed. “Blueblood tricked you, and now you've been lured into a fight that you cannot even participate in, in front of every important noblepony in the country!”

Raj stood there gormlessly, eyes darting about in confusion before he said “Aww... aww crap.”

Social Bear Trap

“...and now I have to fight the guy and I'm not allowed to touch him.” Raj finished and took a sip of his water, glaring sourly around the room.

Fancy Pants shook his head in disbelief. “Goodness Captain. That is simply terrible.”

“Despicable.” his wife added, her accent exaggerating out of anger. “Challenging a foreigner with such obscure laws. It is cowardice of the worst kind; hiding behind technicalities like that.”

“Well said Fleur. Atrocious manners from somepony that is supposed to be royalty.” He nodded towards her. “Remind me to cancel our attendance to his croquet tourney.”

Fleur nudged his side. “But Love, my cousin is in that tourney. He will be expecting us.”

“Ah, of course, it must have slipped my mind. Remind me to be curt when greeting him then.”

Raj sank into his chair and crossed his arms. “I should have known there would be rules and laws about this thing. Coltumbus got me worked up and I wasn't thinking straight.”

Rarity put a hoof on his arm, “Don't blame yourself Rajrishi, you were just trying to be a gentlecolt and stand up for me.”

“I guess so. No use fussing over that now, should focus on what's going to happen next.” He paused for a moment before looking over at Fancy Pants. “What does happen next?”

Fancy Pants cleared his throat and answered, “Well, generally when a dueling challenge is issued the seconds for each party discuss the issue first and try to find a non-violent method to resolve things. Failing that, they set a time and place for the event.”

“Alright, when is that supposed to happen?”

“Typically? Within minutes of the challenge.”

Then, as if summoned, a yellow stallion in crisp army fatigues trotted up to the table and bellowed, “Captain Rajarash, I, Sergeant Thistledown, have come to engage in parley.”

“It's Rajrishi sir, Rajrishi.” he corrected yet again.

He cocked his head, “Are you certain? His highness seemed very certain that your name was Rajarash.”

“It's my name dammit. I know how to say it.” Raj insisted back.

The stallion shrugged and said, “Regardless, I am here to negotiate terms for your duel with Prince Blueblood.”

Raj stood up, “Alright then, let's get this settled.”

Thistledown held up a hoof. “Sorry sir, but the parley phase is traditionally managed by the party's seconds, not the parties themselves.”

“I don't have a second, but I can negotiate for myself.”

Thistledown shook his head. “If you do not care to appoint a representative then we shall skip the peace-talk phase and proceed directly to terms of the confrontation. Prince Blueblood demands a public-”

Raj's eyes widened and he held up a hand to interrupt the straight-laced pony, “Now hold on, hold on, I'll appoint someone. Um, Fancy Pants, you seem to know procedure here, would you step up for me?”

The gentlecolt's eyes went so wide they popped his monocle, “Oh! Well I'm not certain if I can...”

“I'll do it!” shouted Rarity as she bolted to her hooves. “I will attend Captain Rajrishi as his
représentant de confiance.” She raised her head proudly and slammed her hoof on the floor.

Raj leaned back, somewhat surprised by her outburst. “You sure Rarity?”

“Quite sure Captain. Now then, come along sergeant, let's end this dispute with words.” she trotted past him and he turned to follow.

Raj lowered into his chair and tracked them as they maneuvered over to a section of abandoned tables so they could have some marginal privacy. He sighed audibly and stared up into the middle distance. “God I hope she can fix this.”

Fancy Pants picked up his wineglass in his horngrip and swished it with a light chuckle. “Lady Rarity is a mare with few equals in this world. If she can't solve this misunderstanding amicably then I doubt anypony could.” He looked to his side and noticed the slight scowl on his wife's face. He hurriedly sputtered out “And, um, what led you to invite her to this event tonight Captain? Hoping to sweep the good lady off her hooves? If so, I do believe that fighting for her honor just might do the trick.”

“Nothing of the sort, she asked me to come with her.” he said back flatly, ignoring the lurid connotations of his question.

Fancy Pants raised an eyebrow. “Oh. Were you not invited?”

“No, I wasn't.” Raj glanced around at the few ponies that were eyeballing him before looking up at the ship hanging in the center of the room. “And I'm starting to think there was a reason for that.”

“Nonsense. I'm certain it was some sort of oversight. You're the commander of the Lunar Guard, you deserve to have a presence here.”

“Not according to some ponies.” Raj took a bite of his salad and stared at Rarity speaking with the uniformed stallion several tables away. Even without hearing her, Raj could tell she was trying to... seduce wasn't the right word. Entice? That was close. He could see she was trying to entice the stallion to acquiescence.

After a few minutes of negotiations she trotted back over looking somewhat dejected. “Well, that could have gone better.”

“Were you able to talk him into calling it off?”

“I'm afraid not Raj darling, Blueblood impressed on his ally that he will not countenance to anything less than your bout, though I can't imagine why he'd have such rancor towards you. The best I could do was push it back to eleven so you have more time to prepare. I had to agree to go to some gallery opening with Thistledown just to get that much.

Raj leaned into his hand and shook his head. “Well, that sucks. Thanks for trying Rarity.”

“Thanks are not necessary. It was simply my duty to seek any diplomatic end to this quarrel.” She lifted her head up proudly.

“Don't think that's going to shake out today.” He pushed his plate away and sighed, “So, since I'm going to have to fight this guy I should know how this works. Are duels timed or anything?”

Rarity shook her head. “No, duels in almost all circumstance go on until they are done.”

“I've heard of the legendary grudge-match between General Cirrus and Major Northwind that lasted a full day before Cirrus collapsed from exhaustion.” Fancy Pants added.

Raj shivered. “God I hope it doesn't go that long. These things aren't to the death, are they?”

Her head craned back and disgust painted her face. “Celestia no, that would be terribly ghastly. If such a thing happened you would be arrested for murder, or at least ponyslaughter. Duels proceed until one party surrenders. The second from either camp may surrender in the event that their party is incapacitated and traditionally a doctor is on hoof to attend to any injuries.”

“It's actually a rather safe system for settling disputes.” Fancy Pants leaned in. “I don't believe anypony has died in a sanctioned duel for almost... fifty years now I'd wager. And that last one was an accident. Slipped on a banana peel and fell into a furnace if memory serves.”

Raj paused, “Um, well, that first part is great news and I'm gonna ask about that second bit later. But, what happens now?”

“Now, we wander around the hangar and try to find a duel you can observe. With this many military ponies about there's bound to be a few matters of honor being settled.” Rarity bit her lip, humming in excitement.

“Ah, you're in luck. One of my compatriots informed me that there is a matter being taken care of between Lieutenant Brasser and Sergeant Crunch. It should be starting soon.” He felt a tug on his sleeve and chuckled lightly to himself. “But if you'll excuse me, I believe I have kept my wife off the dance floor for far too long.” Fancy Pants stood up and offered his hoof to his visibly excited wife. She took it with a smile and all but dragged him towards a block of ponies dancing in formation.

Fancy Pants had good information, as asking around for a minute led them to the other side of the hangar and the cluster of ponies gathering there. Raj blustered his way through the crowd to see a space had been cleared of ponies for a unicorn mare and a unicorn stallion to settle their differences.

Rarity pulled him down and whispered in his ear. “We're in luck Raj. Since these two are unicorns, you should be able to get a good picture of what dueling one would be like. Pick one and pay close attention to them. Watch how they launch attacks and try to find the rhythm.”

“I know how to watch a fight Rarity.” He muttered back as the parties shook hooves and proceeded to opposites sides of their impromptu arena.

A sextet of unicorns on the edges lit their horns and a high wall of indigo light flashed into being for an instant before settling into a transparent rectangle around the arena. Raj reached out and flicked the barrier, watching the ripple of energy run across it from the contact. A nearby mare hissed at him and slapped his hand for doing so and he muttered a quick apology before shoving his hands in his pockets.

A uniformed pegasus started a countdown and both combatants tensed up, going low as their horns started glowing. The moment she reached zero a river of brilliance erupted out of both unicorns as dozens of projectiles wrought out of arcane light were summoned up and launched at terrific speed only to splash off of hastily erected moment-fields in flares of wild technicolor.

He winced and squinted his eyes, struggling to watch through the display. The initial bursts of energy subsided but neither pony let up. The mare cast a streaming ray of energy that glided over the surface of a domed forcefield and sparked off the barrier protecting the crowd. The stallion struggled under the withering offense and summoned up a billowing column of emerald flames at his opponent. The mare cut her laser off in an instant and floated over one of the tables to take cover behind it.

The stallion, sensing victory, focused harder and narrowed the cone of flame, washing heat off the quickly failing tabletop. As the wood started to char and break away, a loud crack sounded out and something purple and streaking tore along the column of fire. A bolt of energy smacked the stallion directly on the forehead and his flames cut off immediately as he staggered, a thin line of purple leaking down his face.

The mare tossed aside her cover and cried out in glee as the walls came down. A round of applause went up among some of the assembled ponies and a good number went over to congratulate the winner. A doctor pony trotted up to the stallion to give him a once over as his companions came over to console him over his loss. The whole thing had taken about thirty seconds.

After a few seconds of standing in stunned silence inhaling the reek of ozone from so many spells Raj blurted out “What the hell was that?”

Rarity cocked her head. “Oh, well these two were operating under standard Equestrian dueling law, so it was only to first blood. They tend to be a good deal shorter, so you really have to pay attention if you want to see the action.”

“No, that's not what I'm talking about. It was like a fireworks show in miniature. They shot fire and lasers at each other, it was crazy.” He sputtered at her, visibly exasperated.

Rarity looked at him quizzically and said “Well, yes Raj. That's what a duel between Unicorns is like. A rapid flurry of spells to try and get the first hit in. It's a raw contest of arcane skill.” She rolled her eyes. “Frankly, the two of them weren't even all that skilled, most of those spells were just low level ones like magic missile. Even I can conjure up a magic missile.”

He went silent for a second shook his head. “So... Blueblood is even stronger than those two.”

Rarity cocked her head and replied, “Well, for all his numerous faults, Prince Blueblood is a fully trained and accredited War Unicorn. It's not an easy title to acquire darling.”

“I am so screwed.” Raj groaned as he wiped a hand down his face.

Rarity bumped him with her shoulder. “Oh, don't be so negative Rajy dear.” Raj remembered his manners and bit back an interruption. “There's always a way to handle things, you just need a plan. Come on, we have a few hours left yet, there's bound to be a few more contests you can observe so we can hone your strategy.” Rarity pranced off, head bobbing. Rajrishi followed after, wondering why she seemed to be having so much fun with this.

The next few hours saw two more duels happening in the hangar, both between unicorn officers. They proceeded almost exactly like the first; a wild flurry of spells until one of them managed to poke a hole in the others defense. None of them lasted more than a minute.

It was half an hour before his set time and Blueblood was already ordering ponies out of a huge section of the hangar, an area comparable to a basketball court. Ponies were already queuing up to see the first Unicornian duel in years, and one with an alien no less. Even the ship overhead was being moved so that ponies would be able to watch from the deck.

Rarity leaned across the table as he inspected the preparations. She tapped a hoof to get his attention and whispered, “Alright, I do believe it's time to get our plan settled. Now then, as far as I know, Blueblood has never been in a Unicornian duel before either, so he'll be unfamiliar with the circumstances. Since you can't touch him, you'll have to strike with thrown objects. Do you think you can hurl a table at him?”

Raj saw Blueblood picking out the unicorns that would likely form the arena and answered back tonelessly, “Absolutely.”

“Good, then that's what we'll need to do. As soon as things start, dodge his first salvo and find some cover. Then you just need to-”

“Rarity, I don't think this is necessary.”

“What? Well it most certainly is. If you're going to make a good showing, you need to have a plan.”

“Rarity, I... I don't care about all that. I'm just going to surrender, as soon as the match starts I'm calling it.”

She balked “W-what? Why?”

“I got outfoxed Rarity, completely. The guy knew what was up and I feel for it, hook, line, and sinker, and I don't need to get knocked around for ten rounds for me to realize it. There's no point to it.”

“But all these ponies will see you and-”

He cut her off again. “Earning the approval of all these... ponies isn't worth getting hurt. Not to me. I don't give one wit about them and what they think of me.”

Rarity went quiet and stared at the tabletop for a few moments before looking up. “Well... if that's your decision, I'll support it.”

Raj gave her a weak smile. “Thanks Rarity, I just... I'm just done with this.”

Her smile reappeared and she chirped. “I completely understand Rajrishi. Sometimes the only way to beat somepony is to not engage.” She leaned forward and laid a hoof on his arm.

Raj grabbed it and gave a slight squeeze before standing up. “I am going to get something to drink and order a cab around. I figure we'll want to leave right afterwards so get yourself ready.” She nodded and he headed for the nearest bar.

On his approach he saw a familiar rosy maned unicorn chugging water as fast as the bartender could get it to her. As he got nearer he saw that her entire outfit was damp with sweat and her mane had all but collapsed. He furrowed his brow and asked. “Fleur, are you okay?”

She floated away a cup and lifted another. “I am absolutely marvelous Captain.” she answered with a smile that reached her eyes.

“What have you been doing?” he asked before saying to the bartender, “Same as before.”

“Dancing.” she replied matter-of-factually.

“This whole time? It's been hours.”

“I like to dance and military balls have some of the best public dancing to be had.” She floated up a wad of napkins and dabbed the sweat off her face.

“Does Fancy Pants enjoy it as well?”

“Fancy enjoys it much less, but he knows how much I love it so he tries.” She looked at the cup the bartender hoofed to him and added, “What about you? Aren't you fighting your duel a few minutes? Should you be drinking?”

“Not drinking. Club soda.” He took a sip of his drink and added. “Probably not going to be much fighting either.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“Yes, oh. I'm just going to give up as soon as the match starts. I'm not going to bother giving Blueblood the opportunity to beat me down and then gloat about that too.”

“Ah, I understand.” She took a sip of her water again as her smile evaporated. “I was mistaken it seems.”

“About what?”

“That you and Rarity are friends.”

Raj paused and stuttered back “We... we are friends.”

“Then why are you ruining her life like this?” She asked insistently.

Raj pressed a pair of fingers to his temple. “How? How is this ruining her life? You don't make sense.”

Fleur sighed and crossed her legs on the table. “You really know nothing of dueling culture, don't you? Rarity is your second, the pony in charge of handling the diplomacy of your duel. If you surrender right away, that will tell everypony present that she was too incompetent to broker any sort of peaceful arrangement, even one that ceded victory to Blueblood. That would destroy her socially, nopony would do business with her after that. She would be effectively excised from Canterlot.”

Raj stopped, thought about it for a second, and leaned his head back in exasperation. “I… did not think about that.”

Fleur rolled her eyes. “It is gratifying to see that stallions are oblivious dolts regardless of what world they hail from.” She snagged a pair of water glasses in her magic and started walking off. “I must return to the dance floor. I wish you luck with your surrender Captain.”

Raj watched her go before finishing his soda. He checked the clock and found that he had less than ten minutes. Sighing dejectedly, he slipped off his jacket and made his way towards the arena.

Part of the Job

“Captain, we would like to know why you thought it necessary to beat up our grandson?”

Raj looked up from his bowl of cereal at the blue alicorn that had burst into the library. He set his meal down and stood up into a proper salute. “Ma'am, you caught me off guard.”

Luna let out a sigh and massaged the bridge of her nose with a hoof. “At ease.” Raj fell to rest. “You have our apologies, it has been a long night for us. A great many issues appeared during the night court and our patience is quite frayed.”

“You run the night court?” He asked with a grin. “What's your bailiff name? Please tell me it's Nostradamus?”

Luna raised an eyebrow at his odd question. “Neigh, it is not. Is this an honest question or some inane pop culture artifact from my time absent or is it of your own world?”

“The... the second one.”

“Excellent. Now enough of your foolery, answer our inquiry Captain.”

Raj set his bowl down. “Your grandson challenged me to a duel and I unwisely accepted. We fought, he hit me a bunch and I hit him once. It was a tie. All in all, a pretty crappy evening.”

Luna nodded. “We had heard conflicting reports from many sources as to his and thine success. We desired the truth of the matter.”

“Many sources? The whole thing was maybe thirty hours ago. How many sources can there be?” he asked incredulously.

“Thou underestimates the power of Canterlot's gossiping machinations. Within the hour of mine Grandson's declaration the whole of the city's upper echelons knew of the contest. Indeed, were we not occupied with matters of state we would have been at attention to observe.”

Raj cocked an eyebrow. “Isn't Canterlot supposed to be your capitol? Don't you people have anything better to do that worry about me?”

“Seemingly not Captain, seemingly not.” she replied flatly.

“Fine. I assume you did not come all this way just to ask after your many times great grandson. What do you need from me Princess?”

“Straight to the heart of things then. We come bearing two matters of concern to you.”

“Lay it on me.”

Her horn lit and an unfurled scroll popped into existence. “We were coordinating with our sister to send a team of guards and rangers to transport the Bandersnatch thou and Pinkamena defeated to Tartarus. We will not permit one of Auberon's children to plague Equestria again when that river trickles to nothing centuries on.”

Raj gave her an impressed look and said “Awful forward thinking of you Princess.”

“We are ageless Captain. What is forward thinking for thine kind is simple sense to us.”

Raj nodded. “Right, forgot. I don't interact with very many ageless pony gods. Still getting used to the etiquette.”

Luna hummed slightly before continuing. “A report came in yesterday that they had located the creature and were preparing to extract it. Thine guess seems true. Submersion stays the beast's regeneration and renders it inert.”

“Pinkie's idea, not mine.”

“Regardless, we shall catalog their weakness for when the remaining three are found.”

“Hopefully that will be someone else's job. But Pinkie was right about there only being four of those things?”

Luna cocked her head. “Of course, how could there be more?”

“Well, they seem mammalian. I assumed the usual method.” Raj shrugged.

“Ah, we perceive. It slips our mind that thou art still ignorant of the true nature of things. We hoped you would hath taken the initiative and educated thineself with the tome entrusted to Twilight Sparkle's care.”

“It's a giant book banded in iron, made of copper, and written in a foreign language Princess. It's not exactly a light read.”

Luna snorted slightly before continuing. “The Bandersnatches are not natural creatures Captain, they are Trueborn Titanspawn. Creatures formed from the direct will of a Titan, like myself and Princess Celestia.”

“Oh... wow. Really?” Raj asked.

“Indeed. T'would be a task to understate the danger even one of those creatures presents. Each of the four were gifted with a ceaseless hunger and something very near true immortality. Unchecked, they would predate upon everything in their vicinity for all time. The capture of one is not a minor thing, for there will never be more in this iteration of existence.” the princess explained.

“Huh.” Raj muttered as he leaned back in his chair. “Some luck running into a wandering godspawn randomly like that.”

Luna paused. She cocked her head and hummed in thought for a moment before saying “Indeed, foul fate that. However, commending your actions tis not mine purpose here.”

“That's a shame.”

She let that go and continued. “A crisis made itself apparent during this most recent court. Tell us, what do thou know of dragons?”

Raj rolled his eyes up in thought for a moment before replying. “They're reptilian creatures that breath flame, vary wildly in size, and get super mad at you when you go out with the ponies they have crushes on.”

“Pardon?”

“Spike headbutted me in the knee when I got home the other night. That crest of his is surprisingly rigid.” He reached down and rubbed the joint.

Luna quietly stared at him for a moment before saying “Very well. They are also large and powerful creatures prone to recklessness and territoriality, hence the issue. It hath been confirmed that a Dragoness is nesting within the Everfree forest. One awaiting a clutch of eggs no less.”

“She's pregnant too?”

“Indeed. It seems the recent draconic migration bore some fruit. If the creature is permitted to make her roost in the Everfree, she will claim much of the forest as her territory, driving the native beasts out.”

“Ah, that would be bad.”

“Indeed. Dozens or more villages would be subject to the depredations of these ousted monsters.”

“And Ponyville would suffer the worst of it, on top of having an ornery, draconic mother-to-be as a new neighbor.” Raj sighed and ran his hand along his head. “Great.”

“Thou understands the gravity of the task then.”

“So I need to find her this lady and beat her up then? Is that it?”

“Incorrect. We do not wish to inspire malice on her part or, far worse, cause a termination of her brood. Such a thing could be disastrous if she is as aged as we believe. Thou shalt need to convince her to re-locate to another locale that we are preparing, one better suited to her needs. Violence is a last resort, as always.”

Raj shook his head. “I'm not too keen on the idea of fighting a dragon if it comes to it. I don't really have the know-how or the tools for it.”

Luna smiled slightly at him. “Captain, from perusing your report of the battle with the Bandersnatch, you combated the creature in close quarters. Was this a preference or did you lack other means?”

Raj cocked his head at the sudden change in topic but answered nonetheless. “If you're asking if if I have other weapons, the answer is no. The best ones I have are the Apple Axes and a stick made of Ironoak. Nothing else is available to me.” he said with a shrug.

“We believed as much. Hence, we brought this.” Her horn lit up and a long case popped into existence.

“Oh, cool.” He responded, still a little stunned by the spontaneous item. “What is it?”

“A weapon I forged long ago when Titans still strode Equestria, one I wielded to battle those debased beasts for decades.” She undid the latches and grabbed the item within in her horngrip. “Behold, Crescent.”

Luna lifted from her case a polished silver bow carved with detailed filigree and strung with a red string. Raj raised an eyebrow as Luna lowered it into his hand and he wrapped his fingers around the cool mid-staff. He twisted it around in his hand a few times, testing the weight and heft of it and realized that the thing hummed in his hand. “It's... I think it's vibrating? Is that normal?”

Luna nodded. “Very. We wrought Crescent from the molten silvers that lie at the core of mine moon and forced shape upon them. It is strung with hairs plucked from the mane of the Faustmare herself and still hums with the memory of her song of Creation. It is the finest weapon of its kind.” She said with finality, certain that her words were the truth.

Raj blinked at her and looked down at the thing. “Huh. So, why give it to me if it's such an important thing?”

Luna cocked an eyebrow at him “It is a weapon Rajrishi. No weapon is more important or valid than its potential for combat. 'Tis but a tool. An ancient, powerful tool, but still just a tool. Leaving it languish unused is naught but a foolish waste of potential when it could be used by warriors such as thou.”

“That's awfully irreverent of you Luna.”

She shrugged. “We are of a practical mind Captain. Thine report noted your incapability to meaningfully combat at range and this remedies that nicely. If it comes to it, you shall find it quite helpful when battling the dragon.”

“And I'm sure that this spontaneous gift has nothing to do with the fact that I, the Captain of the Lunar Guard, almost exclusively use a pair of axes made of orichalcum, better known as sungold? I'm sure that confusing little note doesn't factor into it at all?”

Luna smiled slightly, a tiny sparkle of amusement behind her eyes. “We are insulted that thou believe royal power dynamics are so petty Captain. Now then,” her horn sparked and a quiver or midnight fletched arrows arrows appeared in the air. “come show your Princess what thou art capable of.”

* * *

When his twenty-eighth arrow struck the post broadside and bounced into the dirt, Luna hummed her disapproval and said “To put it in the modern parlance, thou sucketh Captain.”

“You're real encouraging, you know that? I can see why you're Equestria's favorite princess.” he muttered at her as he drew another arrow back. He paused to aim and loosed. He managed to hit the target, albeit a good two feet lower than his intended point.

“Mine own relative unpopularity aside, we expected greater skills Captain. Were you not a member in good standing with your world's military?”

“I was, yeah. But my training did not cover the bow and arrow. That would have been ridiculous.”

“Ah, we perceive. Your armies focus on close quarters battle to better make use of the strength and ferocity of your warriors. Tell, me what weapons are you versed in? Ax, sword, spear?”

Raj lowered the bow and sighed. “M4 Carbine.”

She cocked her head. “We are not familiar with that tool. Is it some sort of polearm?”

“No. No it is not.” he drew the bow back again and fired, this arrow somehow going into a spiral that managed to miss everything in it's path. Raj growled his frustration and stomped a foot. “Okay, this bow is bullshit.”

Luna scowled. “We labored on that weapon for a full year Rajrishi, working the rebellious metal with care and focus. We would ask that you not declare it to be bovine feces.”

“It moves when I use it Luna. Every time I loose it flexes in my hands. At least half of those shots should have hit.”

Luna looked at him squarely and sighed. She held out a hoof and said “Allow us to show you.”

Raj handed the bow over and she pressed her hoof into a hook at the mid-staff, affixing it to her limb. She floated an arrow onto the nock and bit the fletching, straining her neck back to bend the arms.

Raj barked out a short laugh. “Oh, that's how you do it. I was wondering.”

“Silence. Observe.” she said through gritted teeth. She let out a steadying breath and opened her stance, taking aim at the post. She held there, not quivering even slightly, before tilting back to angle up and loosed.

Raj jumped, thinking he heard a gunshot for a moment. He looked around for the source of it before realizing it had come from Luna. The bow had snapped forward so fast the arrow had broken the sound barrier.

“Holy-” he started to exclaim before Luna halted him with a hoof. She pointed skyward and Raj followed her direction. Squinting, he was able to follow the vapor trail after it blew a hole in a cloud, but beyond that it was gone. Raj shook his head “Lost it.”

“The arrow should have landed in a lake we know of in the Everfree Forest, some twelve kilometers distant. The last time we used this bow, twas the furthest we could reasonably engage.

“There was not that much tension when I was pulling it. Nowhere near.”

“We hope not. If Crescent gave such resistance to a first time user we would be sorely disappointed.” She saw the look of confusion on his face and explained. “Crescent is a living thing Rajrishi, and will re-form itself to your needs over time. Alas, centuries sequestered in the vaults beneath Canterlot have left it laconic and it will require time to accustom itself to your grip. We did not expect it to so readily remember our own in fact.” She un-clipped the weapon and floated it back into his hands.

Raj stepped back in surprise. “Your magic bow is aware?”

“To an extent. That is our reason for gifting it to you. We expected a certain degree of competence, but as thou are lacking, Crescent shall make up the difference. Archery is complex and difficult discipline to learn and we have no reasonable expectation that even the most learned pony archer could bridge the gap in biology such lessons would face. Crescent, however, can adjust itself to however you use it, effectively allowing you to... freestyle the skill. Thou simply needs to use it enough that both of you can learn. That is why we gifted it to you.”

Raj looked down at the weapon in his hands. “You know, you could have told me that before I stood out here getting frustrated for the last half-hour.”

“Yes, we suppose we could have.” She said flatly, face betraying nothing.

They stood in mutual silence for a minute before Raj added “But, if you had done that, you wouldn't have had the chance to embarrass me like this nor would you have had call to show off like you just did.”

“Your implications wound us Captain.” she spoke with well-practiced scorn but once again the amusement behind her eyes gave her away. “Regardless, bring it along on your task. We are certain that it will prove useful to you.”

“Yes, ma'am.” He replied monotonously.

“Excellent. Now then, we are not deploying you by yourself. A detachment of the aerial corp known as the Wonderbolts are being deployed to assist in finding-”

A scream of elation tore through the air and a cyan blur knocked Raj back from the Princess. Rainbow Dash looked around excitedly and sputtered “W-Wonderbolts! Here, Ponyville! Where, where?!” She looked around furtively, as if they were hiding just out of sight.

Luna stepped back in surprise and sputtered “R-Rainbow Dash? What is the matter?”

“Well, I was on my way over here cause some jerk punched a hole in one of my clouds and I heard somepony say the W-word! And not, like, idly or whatever either, like they're coming here! Which is impossible, cause I would know about it cause I'm their biggest fan, but you said it like they were!” She bounced back and forth on her hooves, excitement bubbling out of her.

Luna placed a hoof on her shoulder. “Calm thyself Rainbow Dash. Calm. Captain, be thee well?”

“I bit my tongue.” he muttered as he sat up.

“But are thee well?”

“Yes, of course. God.” He dusted himself off and shot a glare at the Pegasus.

She squinted at him and then looked surprised. “Oh, wait, are you that thing I ran into? It did feel too soft to be a tree. Sorry, things kinda blur out when I'm going that fast. I'm Rainbow Dash.”

Raj stood up. “Rajrishi.”

She cocked her head to the side. “Um, no dude, it's Rainbow Dash, not whatever you said.”

He turned on her sharply. “No, my name is Rajrishi. Seriously, it isn't hard to say.” He paused in thought for a second. “Wait, does that mean you planning on taking a header into a tree?”

“Enough.” Luna stomped a hoof. “Too much time hath been wasted already. Captain, if thou art well it is imperative that you go forth posthaste.”

Raj rolled his shoulder a few times. “Eh, no worse than what Blueblood did to me. I can get going right away.”

“Wait, what's going on?” Rainbow Dash asked as she floated in between the two.

“There's a cranky, pregnant dragon in the Everfree Forest looking for somewhere to nest. I have to find her and convince her to find somewhere else to settle.” Raj answered.

“If the Dragoness lays her clutch, she will be impossible to convince to leave. And if she claims territory, the displaced natives of the Everfree Forest will be forced beyond its confines and into pony controlled lands.” Luna finished.

Rainbow Dash's eyes went wide. “Oh... wow that sounds pretty serious. Maybe I should go get Twilight and the others and we can-”

“Neigh, that will not be necessary Rainbow Dash. The Captain and the Wonderbolts will be able to resolve this crisis.”

“So the Wonderbolts are helping!” She smiled with a brief squee sound.

“Correct. They will be providing the Captain with reconnaissance of the Everfree and communications.”

Rainbow Dash scooted closer to the Princess. “Well, hey, I can do those things too. I've been in the Everfree before and I'm as fast as any Wonderbolt. Watch!” She disappeared in a rainbow streak and re-appeared a few seconds later holding a small, confused Angel bunny, plucked from Fluttershy's cottage more than a full kilometer away. The rodent hissed at everyone present before falling to the ground and hopping away. “I can kick some serious flank too. Check it!” She then started doing some exaggerated kicks and swings punctuated with loud cries of effort.

Raj watched the display with a bemused look on his face before rolling his eyes towards Luna. “Princess?”

“She speaks truth. Rainbow Dash is quite capable and would likely be an aid to your task.”

He watched her perform karate for a few more seconds before saying “If you say so.”

She smirked slightly and turned back to the Pegasus that was in the process of some sort of midair bicycle kick and said “Rainbow Dash, the Captain has considered your capabilities and has opted to include you in this task.”

Rainbow paused in midair for a second before her face split into a wide grin and she started to shake. With a cry of elation she shot upwards in a brilliant streak, the sky erupting into an expanding ring of color that dove for the horizon in all directions, a great wind shaking small tornadoes of autumn leaves from the trees for miles all around.

After a few second she drifted back to the ground and coughed as she nonchalantly rubbed her hoof on her chest. “Um, I mean, oh, uh, that's cool.”

Raj didn't hear her, he just kept staring at the widening band of color and said “Why did she explode?”

Author's Note

Only took me two and a half years, but I finally earned that Mane6 tag.

Doing the Job

“Went into the Everfree to confront a dragon and save Equestria. Be back this evening.”

Raj stared down in thought at the semi-legible pony-script he'd written and added “P.S. I ate the macaroni salad. It was good. Give Spike my compliments.” Content with his note he cradled his quill and weighed the paper down with a book. Outside, he heard what sounded like the scream of a jet followed by a suppressed squeal of excitement and assumed that the Wonderbolts had arrived.

He stepped out of the library to see three Pegasi in form-fitting blue jumpsuits. Nearby, Rainbow Dash was hopping back and forth, forelegs curled up to her mouth and eyes glittering. The nearest Wonderbolt, a smaller mare with a snowy mane pulled up her goggles and said “Captain Rajrishi? I'm Lieutenant Fleetfoot, and this is Misty Fly and Silver Lining. We're at your disposal.”

“Shouldn't that be Fleethoof?”

“Sir?”

“Nevermind. Happy to have you here. Has the Princess told you what the job is?”

Fleetfoot shook her head. “She told us you were going to do that.”

“We're searching for a female dragon that's taken up roost in the Everfree. We need to find her before she lays her eggs or we're never getting rid of her. Keep an eye out for smoke, burned sections of forest, and, the most telltale sign of all, a giant dragon. Rainbow Dash is familiar with the forest, she can tell you what to look out for.” As soon as her name was mentioned the blue pegasus zipped up next to him with a starry-eyed grin on her face.

Fleetfoot looked at her wingmare and said “Misty Fly, get Dash's information.” she nodded and stepped aside with Rainbow who immediately began rattling off every aerial hazard she knew about the Everfree.

Raj continued “Once she's taken care of that I'll need you three to start running a grid pattern over the Everfree and report back anything you see.”

“Where are you going to be during all of this sir?” Silver Lining asked. “Not back here I hope.”

“I'm gonna be in the forest, same as you three. I know the place better than anyone and I can think of a few spots a Dragon could lair, but I don't know how to guide someone to them from the air. I'll have to check them out on the ground.”

“How are we supposed to find you in the forest if we need to contact you?” asked Silver Lining.

“Sky-write something, or just fly around overhead. If I see one of you, I'll send Rainbow Dash up to talk to you. If I need one of you to do something, I'll have Rainbow Dash hunt one of you down. It's not a great system, but it's what we have to work with on such short notice.”

“It'll work. That's the important thing.”

Misty Fly flapped back over and said “All done. I can tell you on the way.”

“Alright then. Talk to you later Captain, stay safe out there. Wonderbolts, let's go!” All three flapped in unison and took off like rockets, complete with streaming lines of smoke.

“Aww yeah, let's do this!” shouted Rainbow Dash as she geared up to follow. She sprang into the air but skidded to a halt when Raj loudly cleared his throat.

Raj smiled up at her and said “Nice try sparky, you're with me.”

“What? Whaddya mean? I'm supposed to be flying with the Wonderbolts! That's what I'm here for!”

Raj shook his head. “No you're not. You're supposed to stick with me while I move around the Everfree on foot. I need a flier fast enough so I can coordinate with the Wonderbolts from the ground.”

“Ohhh, okay. That makes sense.” She lowered to the ground and bounced a few times from hoof to hoof. “Well, that sounds good too. It'll give me a chance to get to know the guy that's been hanging out with my gal-pals.”

“Alright, sure. Just do what I say and stay behind me if anything dangerous happens.”

Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Sh'yeah, do you know who you're talking to? Some monster shows up I'm gonna kick its flank all the way to Fillydelphia!”

* * *

Raj strained his head back from the snapping jaws of the Timberwolf, hot sap splattering onto him. He planted his hands into the thing's aggregate form and pulled, tearing a huge chunk out of it. The thing seemed not to care and continued snapping and flailing rabidly.

Snarling, he lifted the beast up and swung it down, shattering it into a thousand pieces of dry wood. He panted for a moment and called out “Rainbow? You can come out.”

A minute later a blue head poked out from the foliage of a nearby tree, looking worried. “Are you sure? Where'd the Timberwolf go?”

“It's gone.” replied Raj as he dug around in the pile of wood until he found its heartswood. “For good.” He snapped the piece in half and tossed them aside.

Rainbow flapped over and looked around. “Wow, you really did a number on that guy. Are you okay.”

“I'm fine, nothing I haven't done before. It's good we ran into that thing actually, I don't like the idea of a rabid, solitary Timberwolf this close to town. Glad I got to it before it hurt anyone.”

“Yeah, yeah good. Haha.” She laughed weakly and rubbed the back of her head. “Hey, uh, so, sorry I zipped up into the tree like that. I was, uh, that thing startled me.”

Raj shrugged. “Don't worry about it, it was just one Timberwolf. Besides, it's what I told you to do. Now come on, Zecora's hut isn't that far.”

“Zecora's? Why are we going there?”

“If a dragon has been living in the Everfree, I'd bet money she know about it. Hopefully she'll be able to point us in the right direction.”

“Right. That makes sense.”

The two of them continued forward for a short while before Zecora's tree-hut came into view. Raj knocked and they both heard “Who is this that comes to visit me?” The door opened and Zecora smiled at the pair. “Ah, it is Rainbow Dash and Rajrishi!”

Raj blinked “How did... how did you know you'd be able to complete that rhyme before you opened the door?”

Zecora opened her mouth to reply but Rainbow Dash pushed her way between the two. “Yeah yeah, hey Zecs, we got a problem. You seen any dragons around here?”

The zebra cocked her head. “A dragon in the forest? I have, if I am honest.”

“Slant rhyme, but it works. We need to find this dragon as quick as we can. Any idea where we can find her?” Raj asked.

Zecora cleared her throat and pointed with a hoof deeper into the woods. “I have seen her shadows where the mega-trees loom, past where the poison joke blooms.”

Raj processed that for a moment before saying “Alright, so pretty deep in the woods. Big area, but that narrows it down. Thanks Zecora.”

“Not a problem my friends. Is there any other help I could lend?” she jived.

Raj shrugged. “Not unless you think you could fight a mature, highly territorial dragoness.”

Zecora's face went serious for a moment before saying “I would need time to prepare my brews, but I believe they would be of use.”

Raj cocked his head and said back warily “Well, we're on something of a time crunch, so we'll have to keep going on our own. But if I come up with something I'll send Dash back. Speaking of which, you should probably go find the Wonderbolts. Tell them to focus their search around where the forest becomes really tall. They should be able to find that.”

“On it Captain.” she shot back before disappearing into they sky in a streak.

Zecora watched her go and mused. “You are a Captain now? Surprising, that the town would allow.”

“Princess Luna gave me the commission, so they didn't allow anything. Captain of the whole Lunar Guard, which consists of just me so far.”

“Ah, by royal decree they accept, I see. Last I heard your presence was met with mobs and fire. Your situation sounded quite dire.”

“They were pretty frosty to me at the beginning, yeah. Save the lives of everyone in town though and they warm up pretty quick. Speaking of which, did the Froggy Flu get to you? I don't remember seeing you while we were handing out the cure.”

At that Zecora actually laughed, her head thrown back in genuine amusement. “Rajrishi, I have no fear of any pony illness. I have many ways to-”

She was cut off when a powerful gust tore through her yard and Rainbow Dash slid to a halt just past them. “Done Raj, the Wonderbolts know where to go.”

Zecora shook her head and exclaimed “Oh my, such quickness!”

“Okay, seriously, how do you do that?” Raj asked with insistence. “There are, like, four words that rhyme with illness and none of them were relevant to the conversation. What were you leading to before she showed up?”

“What's he talking about?” Rainbow asked Zecora with a cock of her head.

She shrugged. “I have no clue. Raj, have I aggravated you?” She asked with a knowing lilt to her voice

Raj glared at the zebra for a moment. “No, nevermind. One of these days you're going to explain that to me. Come on Dash.” Raj turned and started jogging into the woods.

“Later Zecs.” chirped Rainbow Dash as she flapped after him.

“Goodbye my friends, do come and visit again some time. You may even catch me out of rhyme!” she let out a little chuckle and went back into her hut.

* * *

“So you guys knocked a tower into the river to drag the thing into the water?” asked Dash, eyes wide with interest.

“Yep, chopped the whole thing down. Pinkie's idea.” Raj smirked as he wrapped up the story.

“That. Is. AWESOME!” she shouted with a puff of her wings and jubilant hop. “I mean, I heard the story from Pinkie and it was great then but she's not the best storyteller. But wow Raj, that whole thing just sounds super cool with all the fighting and fire and stuff. Man, I wish I was from the same town Pinkie is, then I would have been able to come with and really kick some tail!”

“Definitely would have helped.” Raj admitted, teeth chattering as he was hit with an autumn wind.

The pair were miles further into the Everfree, past the bramble thickets and with the mega-trees looming ahead, visible through the nearly bare branches. Raj shivered every time a breeze blew through the skeletal trees and silently regretted not grabbing something from the library to cover his bare torso with.

Rainbow seemed not bothered by the cold in the slightest and trotted alongside him merrily. “Whenever me and the girls go on some sort of adventure or something, we usually end up solving it with words or a rainbow laser every now and then. Sometimes, I wish we'd have more chances to really fight something cool. Like during Cadance's wedding. We got to beat us a bunch of changelings and it was awesome as buck!”

“I think Twilight told me about that one. Weren't they sent flying away due to some sort of love explosion?”

Rainbow looked away and dug her hoof into the ground. “Well, yeah that's what did it, but we were important too!”

“I think she told me that you guys got in a fight but were dragged right back to where you escaped from. You were gone five minutes.”

She looked up in thought for a moment and hummed before admitting “Well, okay, sort of important, but that's what I'm talking about. I mean, I like being able to save Equestria and help ponies realize harmony and friendship and junk, but I wish I got a chance to be cool and badass while doing it. Like you do.”

Raj waved her off. “Trust me, you do not want to be like me. For one, I don't think you could take as many crotch-shots as I do.”

“Hey, I'm pretty tough. You won't believe how often I crash into stuff.”

“That doesn't inspire confidence Rainbow.”

The pegasus shot him a cocky grin and laughed lightly. “Yeah, well I'll- whoa!” she cried out as she slipped and fell flat. “What the?”

“Clumsy. “ Raj said.

“No. Something grabbed my hoof. Look.” Raj glanced down at her back left leg to see a gnarled, tentacled claw holding tight to her leg.

“Crap!” Raj shouted as he reached back for one of his axes. Before he was able to Rainbow was jerked away.

“Raaajj!” Rainbow cried out as she was dragged along the ground, a fissure of dirt erupting up in her path. She sputtered and spat as earth was sprayed into her mouth, hooves flailing at anything in reach.

Rajrishi chased after her as quick as he was able, fumbling to get his bow un-slung as he went. Rainbow kicked at the misshapen claw holding her hoof and grabbed for anything in reach, anything that would slow her down. Luck favored her and her hooves wrapped around a thin sapling. The baby tree bowed sharply and her hooves slid up the trunk, leaves and branches tearing free and bunching under her grip.

It gave Raj the opportunity to catch up and he slid to a stop over the prone pony. He smacked an arrow to the side of his bow and aimed downwards. Rainbow saw this and cried out at him to stop but Raj just whispered “Strong as you can Crescent.” And drew back the string, straining with effort.

The arrow wasn't powerful enough to break the sound barrier, but it was strong enough to punch through the ground and into the hide of the thing holding Rainbow's hoof. They both heard a pained groan rise up from the ground and the appendage uncoiled from her leg. Now free, Rainbow shouted and immediately shot straight up past the trees.

Raj drew another arrow and pulled the string back, scanning around for anywhere else the thing had broken the surface. He felt a light rumble from the ground as the subterranean beast left the area, another low grumble rising from the ground. He relaxed the string and straightened. “Rainbow! You can come down now. I think it's gone.”

Rainbow slowly drifted down, tentatively scanning the ground that had so recently betrayed her. “What the Tartarus was that thing?”

“Something I've run into before. I don't know what its real name is but I call it a Molopotamus. Once you see the whole thing, you'll realize it's pretty accurate.”

“And they're just... around the Everfree? Waiting to grab hooves and drag ponies away?”

Raj nodded. “Pretty much. It's something I had to deal with on occasion when I was living here. Got wise to it after a bit though, stick near trees, be mindful for shaking, that sort of thing.”

“That's insane! This is why I live in a cloud house. Nothing terrifying lives in clouds.”

“Except lightning. Lightning is terrifying.” Raj pointed out.

“We don't live in clouds that are filled with lightning!” she shouted back.

“And I avoid ground filled with Molopotamuses... generally.” Raj answered.

The two stared at each other for a minute before their faces cracked and they started laughing helplessly. Rainbow settled onto the ground and started winging the dirt off of herself. “That was nuts.”

“Yeah, it's pretty surprising the first time it happens. You okay?”

“Think so. Just some scratches. Hoof hurts, but it didn't crack the wall so I'll be fine.”

“You wanna go back home?”

She shook her head and shot back “Sh'yeah right dude. This is just the kind of dangerous fun I've been wanting to get into. No way I'm going back now.” She raised her head resolutely and stamped a hoof.

A second after that they both heard an aerial scream from overhead and a smoking Pegasus swooped through the canopy. She flicked her goggles up and said “Captain. I saw Rainbow Dash pop up through the woods. Are you two alright?”

“Convenient. We're both fine, don't worry. How goes the scouting Lieutenant Fleetfoot?”

“Sir, we found the Dragon. You're gonna want to see this.”

* * *

Raj stared at the dragon, wondering just how terribly dangerous this thing was.

From nose to tail she was at least sixty feet long and no part of that didn't look dangerous. Her orange scales were thick and sharp, curling up into a hooked barb at the tip. Her claws were as long as his arm and curled inwards like a hawk's, each one capable of ripping him in half with a single flick of her digit. Her tail was several times longer than he was tall and as thick as his waist. It was easy to imagine her sweeping aside a small house as easily as he would a pile of cans.

Indeed, the creature was incredibly intimidating despite the impediment of being dead.

“We found her like this about an hour ago, just laid out in front of her lair. Good thing too, otherwise we never would have found her.” Fleetfoot explained

“Lucky in two ways then.” Raj strolled close and inspected the great bulk of the thing, still having trouble getting over its sheer size. He looked past her into the hollow dug out underneath one of the mega-trees. It was an impressively large hole, and likely would have made a fine place to raise a clutch of hatchlings. Raj looked back and asked “What happened to her?”

“My guess would be a fight, but she doesn't look like she's hurt. Maybe some magic or something put her down, I don't know.” Fleetfoot shrugged and looked up at him helplessly.

“Good enough I suppose. Looks like we're done here. Good work Wonderbolts.” Raj gave the lieutenant a congratulatory pat on the back. “Where's Rainbow?” He glanced around for the wayward pegasus. Fleetfoot pointed at the mare over by a tree retching her guts out. Raj said “Ah, 'scuse me.” and headed over to her. “You okay Dash?”

Rainbow stood up straight and wiped her mouth. “Ugh, yeah 'm fine. Just seeing, well, that got me. Sorry.”

Raj waved her off. “Don't be. Happens to everyone the first time. If you're good to fly, head on home. We're done here.”

“Wait wha?” she asked only somewhat incoherently. “Whaddya mean we're done here?”

“Dragon's dead. Don't have to worry about her nesting here. For once the Everfree has solved a problem. I'll be sure to notify the papers when I get back.”

“Hey, the dragon may be d-dead, but we still have the problem of dealing with whatever big scary thing killed it. Anything that could do THAT-” she pointed at the expired dragon “has got to be just as scary.”

“Dash's got a point sir. We could be in the same mess and not even know about it.” Nimbus added from over by the dead beast.

Raj ran a hand over his headwrap and nodded. “Yeah, you're right. Well, if we're here, we're here, might as well do something with it. Fleetfoot, Dash, search the area. Silver Lining and Misty Fly go over the dragon, try and find out what did her in. I'll search her lair for any signs of what did this.”

The pegasi nodded and set off to their duties, Rainbow Dash zipping all over the place while Fleetfoot took a more measured approach while the other two grimaced at their unsavory task. Raj drew out a flashlight and slid down into the dragon's lair.

Raj was prepared for some awful stink and was not surprised. As soon as he landed he was struck by a powerful, acrid reek. The smell worsened as he went deeper to the point he was forced to wrap his patka around his face just to breath.

He scanned the dirt walls and floor, looking for anything that might tell him what happened here. His beam reflected off something and he hurried forward to discover a mound of jewels that came up to his knees.

Raj was somewhat surprised. He'd read that hoarding was a trait only common in male dragons and that dragonesses rarely kept possessions. These were likely stockpiled to feed her hatchlings when they arrived. Glumly, Raj picked up a ruby the size of a golf-ball and rolled it around in his fingers.

As he crouched the smell worsened, like there was a heavy cloud of stink. A film covered the dirt next to the pile of jewels and it glittered with a polychromatic shine as he ran his beam over it. The ground under the film was a good half inch lower than the surround floor.

“Vomit?” Raj wondered aloud as he crouched down to look at it. The ground wasn't sunken, it was eaten. Corroded by whatever was spilled on it, likely the result of a digestive system designed to dissolve gemstones. Whatever happened to the dragoness had made her empty her stomach before it killed her. He cocked his head and squinted “Wait... didn't I-”

Raj felt hot air blow across the nape of his neck and smelled ozone. Before the shiver had even completed he was springing to the side.

Something big crashed into the wall, shaking a rain of dirt from the ceiling. He yanked an arrow from his quiver and slapped it against the side of Crescent at a bad angle. He re-adjusted the draw just in time to see something sinewy flying at him. He cried out as his bow was knocked against his face and went into a sprawl, almost all of his arrows sliding free.

He rolled to the side and fetched up his flashlight, darting the beam around to find his assailant. He cursed in surprise and scrabbled back before a heavy coil of muscle laid across his stomach.

Long and white, with open hood and octet of burning green eyes all focused on him and him alone, Slitherscale the Naga loomed close and dangled her tongue out to hiss “Remind me brother, what was it you said? Boots and a matching jacket?”

Finishing the Job

“You again!” muttered Rajrishi as he pushed at the coil holding him down.

“Indeed it is cretin. Fate has forced us upon each other again it seems, except you're tragically alone this time.” She paused and reared up some. “You are alone, are you not?”

Raj grunted and wormed an arm free. “Yeah, I am. You don't have to worry about Twilight hurling you across time zones again.”

“Shame. I was looking forward to expressing my gratitude towards her.” She chuckled lightly and added. “It was hardly that far brother. A hundred miles at the most.”

“Is that all? I'll have to tell Twilight she's been slacking.” He shifted under the huge snake.

“Still friends with the ponies I see. Shame that.”

“I'm not interested in your judgments.” He looked around for something to help him get free and found nothing. “So you're what killed the dragon, right? You poisoned her in her home.”

“Correct. Game is scarce enough without a daughter of Bahamut frightening everything off, much less the clutch of mewling drakelings she intended to lay. Killing her was necessary.” Slitherscale shrugged as much as something without shoulders was able. “Do not tell me you are in an ire over that? Do you side with all things over your own kin?”

“Not my kin snake.” Raj spat back.

“Say that as much as you want brother, it shall never be true. You are marked as his by blood and breath as surely as I. It is undeniable.” She said, certain of her statement.

“Sure, whatever.” Raj pushed at the coil again but it refused to budge. “What now? Are you going to kill me for wandering in here?”

“Perish the thought brother.” Her coil lifted off of Raj's stomach and he shimmied back. “Were you any other being, I would see you die screaming, but you are my kin. Above everything else Briarus despised quarreling among his children. Hands should never fight hands, so he declared. And I show loyalty to my progenitor. Begone from here brother, with my hopes that you come to your senses.” She rose up high and stared him down, tongue darting.

Raj looked at her for a moment and considered his options. He strung Crescent over his torso and clicked his flashlight onto his belt, his other hand resting on his ax. He backed away a few steps, keeping his eyes on the wavering snake.

Just as Raj was beginning to think he might be able to escape without a fight, he was blinded by a streak of blazing color that rushed down the tunnel and ran headlong into the Naga. The creature drew back, hissing a curse as its coils writhed.

Rainbow Dash hovered in the air and shouted “Yeah! Take that you weird cave monster, Rainbow Dash is here to kick your plot!” She clapped her hooves against one another and flashed a cocky grin.

The Naga's eyes lit up and she drew back to strike “What is this? Another one?” Raj jumped forward and snatched at the Pegasi's tail, yanking her out of the thing's path at the last moment. The Naga sailed past, recovered, and launched itself again at the confused pony.

Raj reared a leg back and snapped it up, driving his foot into the Naga's chin and fired its head straight into the ceiling. The length of it shuddered as thin lines of dirt cascaded down from the ceiling. It wobbled weakly as it let out a dejected hiss like a deflating balloon.

“Outside the tunnel.” Raj said flatly as he sprang over the Naga's body, Rainbow Dash's tail still in his grip. He ran down the lair, dragging her along like a particularly uncooperative kite as the Naga slowly recovered its wits.

The massive snake called out “Ponies again brother? I shall lay this ones bones on your doorstep!” Slitherscale dove to the ground and started slithering after the pair.

He reached the end of the tunnel and hurled Rainbow up through the opening “Go find the Wonderbolts.” He ordered and turned around, ax out. The Naga was rushing forward, its form blurred into shifting hues of brown to mimic the tunnel. It glided up the sheer wall and dove towards him.

Raj hopped to dodge its rush in and slashed, opening a red gash along its side. The Naga barely took notice of the hit and undulated its coils at him, buffeting him off balance. The thing spiraled around him and closed, attempting to crush him.

Raj got his feet back and sprang straight up, one ax burying in the root ceiling. He pivoted off the blade and swung himself forward, barely clearing the circling mass of snake. He landed in a sprint, heading for the incline back to the surface.

“I keep offering you kindness brother, but you spurn me at every turn. Why?” He heard the Naga's scales whisper against the ground and he dropped on instinct. The beast's uncoiling tail swung over him and crashed into the wall, shaking the whole of the tunnel.

Raj bounced up to his feet and continued towards the entrance. He cried over his shoulder “Your kindness involves killing a lot of people I like.”

He scrambled up the incline and drew his other axe. He spun as the Naga coiled up the wall and into the open. In daylight, it reverted to its white scales and fully opened its mouth, its whole head splitting to reveal a puffy maw slicked with metallic venom. Somehow, that didn't impede its ability to talk. “You still favor ponies over your own kind. Folly, nothing but folly brother.”

“Stop calling me that.” He shot back.

“But it is truth. The Hecatonkheire despised the Faustmare more than anything, and his children were bred to destroy her pathetic works. Your hands were made to crush equine necks, just as my poison is for burning their blood. That is the purpose Briarus instilled in all his children.”

“Briarus is dead snake. What he wanted doesn't matter. It never did.”

“You believe their lies as well. You are not ignorant, you are brainwashed! By that purple unicorn no doubt. Fear not brother, I will save you from these foul little monsters. But first, where ” She looked around for a moment before they both heard a tearing scream from above. Neither had time to react before one of the Wonderbolts flew in, leaking a white contrail, streaked in and planted a hoof directly against the side of the Naga's face.

It was understandably surprised by this turn of events and staggered from the sudden hit. Just as its eyes were starting to line back up another Wonderbolt sailed in and smashed her right on the brow ridge, another one landing against the side of her head an instant later.

The Naga pulled its head back into its coils and writhed, trying to guard itself. It snapped and bit at the circling pegasi as they darted in, smashing into Slitherscale's face and hood. Their speed afforded them damage, letting them hit hard enough to slough off scales with each strike.

Rainbow Dash appeared next to him, sweaty and out of breath. “Hey Raj, I found the 'bolts. What is that thing anyway?” she grinned wide, cocksure as always.

“A naga. Big, venomous snake. Has a striking range of about six meters, stay at least twice that away.” He said as calmly as he could.

Dash rolled her eyes. “Pfft, how am I supposed to hit it if I'm that far from the thing.”

“You're not. Stay here.” Raj pulled his bow and nocked his one remaining arrow before rising to firing position. “Wonderbolts! Make a hole!”

The team of pegasi complied and backed off immediately. Raj lifted his bow and screamed with effort as he drew back the impossibly taut string. He had a bare instant to aim before he was certain his arm would fail him and he loosed, the string whipping forward so fast it carved a neat sliver of meat out of his forearm.

He felt a stout pop as the arrow broke the sound barrier, the air around its flight path distorting heavily. The supersonic projectile didn't punch into the Naga, it simply passed through thing like it wasn't even there, entering and exiting a handful of times as it ripped through its layered coils of scales and meat. The shaft sailed through another hundred or so meters before it struck a stone and shattered to fragments, the head buried deep in the rock.

The reaction from the snake herself was immediate. She started hissing and rolling, unsure what had just happened. The Wonderbolts formed into a phalanx around Raj, guard still up. Raj dropped his bow and pulled both of his axes. “She's not dead yet, stay sharp.”

“Yes sir.” Fleetfoot rasped as she hoofed the dirt.

The Naga lifted herself up, red blood staining the dirt. “You... you traitorous... vile little monster. You and your ponies both. Look what you've done to me!” She writhed madly, the ragged wounds in her hid standing out against the white scales.

“Beaten to shit's a good look on you snake. I like it.” Raj smirked.

“Let's see how much of that smarm you have left after I've devoured your pony friends traitor!” Her mouth split open and she rushed headlong at the group.

The mob of them scattered, flowing around the attack. The Wonderbolts darted in and struck at her body, bruising flesh and breaking scales. Raj slashed at her mouth and head, keeping her attention as the pegasi wore her down. Every time the Naga turned to snap at one of the harrying ponies, Raj would make her pay for it with a slice into her coils. It was fast and frenetic, but it overwhelmed the Naga with action and targets, keeping it from focusing enough on any one person to land a telling blow.

Meanwhile Rainbow Dash hovered over the fight, eyes wide with glee as she took in the sight of her idols fighting a monster. A low keen of excitement bubbled out of her and her hooves kicked at nothing, sheer joy robbing her of her voice.

The Naga did not fail to notice the dancing, midair pony. The creature coiled itself close and sprang out, sweeping the area around itself with its tail to earn some breathing room, the rapid motion warding the Wonderbolts back as the tail swept Raj's legs out from under him. Then, quick as a whip, it launched itself straight up at Rainbow Dash.

She saw the snake coming and did the worst thing possible, she froze, eyes wide and breath hitched in her throat as her gaze disappeared down the Naga's puffy gullet.

Silver Lining was feeling particularly fast that day. In the end that's what saved Rainbow Dash's life.

The veteran Wonderbolt zipped towards the striking Naga with alarming speed, smashing herself into the back of its hood with tremendous force. The snake let out a croon of alarm as it was only just pushed off course.

The snake landed on the forest floor heavily, hissing with rage. Silver Lining flapped her wings to get away but the material of her suit had snagged on the burred edges of the Naga's scales. She'd hit it so hard she'd managed to get herself stuck.

Fleetfoot and Misty Fly bee-lined in to try and free their teammate, but the Naga was able to easily defend that one point from their attacks. Raj ran in and started swing at its lower section, hoping the get its attention long enough for someone to free the trapped Wonderbolt, but it was able to slither itself away from his strikes while still dodging the two in the air.

A few of Silver Lining's seams popped free and she started tearing at the rest of her outfit. Having none of that, the giant snake reared up, held for a moment, and then rocketed itself towards the ground back first. Silver Lining screamed in terror before she was silenced by a harsh thud as the Naga crushed her into the ground. Raj had a flash of memory back to when that happened to him and was all but certain the pegasus was dead.

“Hoof in Mouth!” shouted Misty Fly as she dove down to help her fallen comrade. Slitherscale moved to strike at the distracted pony but instead took a flying haymaker to the jaw from the remaining Wonderbolt. Fleetfoot bounced off of the hit and settled over her fallen comrade, stance set as Raj worked his way over to the group. Slitherscale slid back, content to take a breather for a moment.

Raj worked some mental math, trying to think of a way they could handle this down a Wonderbolt. He'd just settled on a plan that involved retrieving some lost arrows when he heard a raspy voice yell “Hey you!” drawing the attention of everyone in the Everfree.

Rainbow Dash had recovered from her stupor and was pointing an angry hoof at the scaly beast. “You think you can beat up on the Wonderbolts like that? Think again!” she reared back and started zooming towards the monster. “I'm gonna teach you to-”

Whatever threat she was about to make was lost as the Naga swung its tail up and smacked her out of the air. Rainbow made a choked little sound as she pinwheeled through the air and rapped against a tree hard enough the shake a scattering of autumn-turned leaves from it. She flopped to the ground and groaned, rolling listlessly.

The Naga's mouth split open and she laughed, long and loud. Raj rushed over and stood over a listless Rainbow Dash, desperately hoping she could recover. He glanced back to the Wonderbolts and saw Misty Fly tightening a tourniquet around Silver Lining's leg, Fleetfoot standing in a similar position as he was. They both eyed the Naga, suddenly very aware of how precarious their situation was.

Slitherscale quieted and grinned. “Do you see now brother? Do you see what these ponies have made of you? You stand over one of them, just as the other does. You sacrifice strength to guard the weak when an enemy stands before you. Foolishness.”

Fleetfoot spat “Defending the injured is noble you filthy monster!”

“Indeed it is snack number two. You are correct.” Raj blinked in surprise, unprepared for such agreement. “But you don't do that by idly standing, you do that by attacking!” At that she took to the ground and started in at Raj at a breakneck pace. Within an instant she was striking, mouth gaping and fangs snapped out.

In that moment, Raj had a crystalline flashback to another fight, one that was months ago. Reflex took over and he dropped his axes, his hands coming up and reaching forward.

The Naga lost Raj in the horizon of its opening jaw and felt a thrill of victory. It knew he was too close the dodge, too soft to endure a bite. It shivered with anticipation for the sensation of its fangs tearing into meat and then the throbbing pulse as it emptied venom, but neither sensation came. Instead it felt a painful pulling in the roof of it mouth, like the muscles there were being twisted. Realization hit her and all ten of her eyes widened in shock. The vile traitor had caught her by the mouth, his hands gripping onto her very fangs.

Raj squeezed his black digits onto those slick daggers again, twisting them around with creaks of straining bone as his feet slid on the root heavy ground. He twisted and pulled the thing's head down, forcing the fangs up until he activated the glands and jets of poison shot out in mercury streams. Every plant the poison touched immediately started to wither and die. Rainbow scrambled to avoid the liquid death and marveled at the wave of corruption that started crawling up the exposed tree.

After a few seconds, the poison ebbed to nothing as the sacs were emptied, leaving the Naga dizzy. Raj screamed with exertion and drove a knee into the gap between the Naga's teeth hard enough to crack its jaw. The thing hissed and rolled, dragging Raj with it. He kept hold of those fangs and kicked into its open mouth, boot sinking into soft flesh with each strike until he managed the land on something hard. With that leverage, he started to pull.

Slitherscale started to scream in panic, it's tongue lashing uselessly at Raj's torso, until after a few seconds he heard a wet tearing sound and yanked the Naga's fangs free alongside fist sized chunks of bone and gristle.

Raj thought Slitherscale was screaming before. He was wrong, now she was screaming. She started to roll and writhe, flinging Raj free of his perch as blood streamed from the ruined holes in her mouth.

She tried to yell threats at them, but they were lost to a wet murmur. She slither-limped away, more injured than she could handle. He considered going after her, but then glanced around at the barely recovering Rainbow Dash and the still-preoccupied Wonderbolts. He thought better of it and called out “If I ever see you again I'll kill you snake. That's a promise from family.” The Naga gurgled something back as it made its way back into the woods.

As soon as he couldn't see it anymore he ran over the Wonderbolts. “Fleetfoot.”

“Sir. Silver Lining's alive but in bad shape. I'm going to send Misty Fly to take her back to town.”

“Both of you go. It'll be faster and she needs the help.”

“Sir?” she asked with a glance back at Rainbow Dash.

“I can handle it. Don't worry. Get her out of here.” Fleetfoot nodded and got on the other side of Misty Fly with Silver Lining laid across their backs. The two flapped and took off towards town.

Rainbow staggered up to her hooves and shook the cobwebs out of her head. She looked up to see Raj standing over her sternly, glaring down at her. She shied away from his gaze and sniffed once. “Um... I uh...”

“Can you walk Rainbow?” he asked flatly.

“Yeah, yeah I can walk.”

“Good. Now I got one last thing to do.” He started towards the dead dragon.

Rainbow looked up and wiped her eye. “Wait... what? Is that, is that it?”

“Yeah, that's it.”

“You're not going to yell at me for what happened to Silver Lining? For getting hit? For, um, for freezing up.” She trotted after him.

Raj sighed. “No Rainbow. What would be the point of that? If anything, I'm going to yell at Luna the next time I see her for insisting I bring you along.”

“What? But she didn't-”

Raj silenced her with a hand on her head. “Rainbow, look. You are a civilian, completely untrained. Frankly, you did better than most civs would do in this situation, but any civilian would have been a liability. You're fast and have good situational awareness, but you have garbage instincts and you get lost in your own head. That makes you a good flier but a bad fighter. I should have told you to head back to Ponyville the moment the Naga showed up but I wanted you somewhere I could keep an eye on you, so that's on me. I'm sorry.”

Rainbow looked startled by the apology and stared up at him for a long moment. She bit her lip and shivered before saying “Train me.”

“What?”

“You heard me. Train me, teach me how to fight. I don't want to be a liability the next time this happens.”

“Rainbow, you're a small talking horse with wings. I don't think CQC would translate very well.”

“I don't care, I want to be able to do what you do. Fight like... like a human. Like you.”

Raj was silent for a bit before sighing “I'll think about it RD. Now, you may want to get some distance. I don't think you'll like this part.”

The color drained out her face. “What? Why?”

“There weren't any eggs in the tunnel when I looked. Which means she never laid them. If she never laid them, they might still be viable in her egg sac.”

“Whoa, you're not thinking of doing what I think you're doing, are you?” She asked, staring at the dead beast with revulsion.

“Probably, yeah.” He spun an ax and moved towards the enormous corpse.

* * *

The door to the library slammed shut and Twilight looked up from her book. “Ah, Raj is that you?”

“Yeah, yeah it is. How many towels do we have?” He shouted from the front room.

“What? Plenty. That doesn't matter.” She started trotting down the steps, a piece of paper held in front of her face. “Listen, I read your note and I think you mis-wrote some of it. I know you ate the macaroni salad, but what's this about a dragon and saving-”

Her sentence died as she rounded the corner and finally saw Rajrishi. From head to to, he was completely covered in thick, orange gore. Much of it had gone dry but heavy patches clung to his arms and chest. Tucked under his arms were a trio of what looked like ovoid bowling balls. Oddly enough, what stood out the most had to be the dangling, foot long spikes tied to his belt with a piece of cord, oddly familiar but in a way she couldn't exactly place.

She gaped, mouth working uselessly for a few moments before she blurted out “What!?”

Raj shrugged. “I had a hell of a day Twilight. Hell of a day.”

Nerd Stuff

Rainbow Dash knocked her hoof on the door to the library. She waited around five seconds before knocking again harder. After another few seconds her face screwed up in impatience and she started rapping on the door with the speed of a woodpecker.

The door swung open and Spike said “What's the ru-” His question was cut off by a rapid tapping on his skull and he shied away. Rainbow stepped back and shot him an apologetic smile with a weak blush. “Oh, sorry 'bout that Spike.”

Spike rubbed his forehead and muttered. “It's fine. Nice headband.”

Rainbow ran her hoof along the white band tied around her head and smiled. “Isn't it? I practically have to wear it now since Raj is training to me to kick some flank. I need to advertise that I'm nopony to mess with.” She stood up on her hind legs and punched the air, holding a pose for a moment with her eyes closed.

Spike stared for a moment before clearing his throat. Rainbow fell back to all fours and said “Oh yeah, is Rajrishi around? He was supposed to meet me at the practice field but he didn't show.”

He pointed a claw over his shoulder. “Yeah, he's here. In the basement with Twilight. They're doing some science.”

“Neat. Is it safe to go down?” she asked.

“Nope. Why do you think I'm up here?” A loud crash came from the basement and they could both hear Twilight yelling and Raj's muffled voice saying something back. “Don't say I didn't warn you.” Spike opened up the door to the basement and gestured for her to go ahead.

Rainbow wavered for a moment, gulped, and slowly stepped through. As soon as she was in Spike slammed it behind her, making her jump and stumble down a few of the stairs. It smelled like the air after a lightning strike in the basement as well as hot metal like at a blacksmith's forge. She trotted down the steps a bit and looked out on the enormous single room.

The whole place was lit by hanging lamps, illuminating a motley assortment of half-built machines and scribbled chalkboards. Twilight stood in front of one such wall, lightened by chalk-dust as she levitated three separate pieces of chalk to work three different equations while her eyes scanned a floating book.

Rainbow came up behind her friend and tapped her on the back. “Hey, Twilight? Where's Raj? We were supposed to be training today and he didn't show up. Twilight?” She nudged her friend and still Twilight gave no sign of noticing her presence. Annoyed, Rainbow reached up with a wing and flicked her glowing horn.

Twilight let out a startled little cry as her books and chalk fell to the dirt. “Gah, Rainbow! What are you doing here?”

“Looking for Rajrishi. What is all this? What are you guys doing here?” she reached out to a bank of dials that had a dozen cables snaking to it.

“Don't touch that!” Twilight shouted and wrapped her friend in a field of telekinesis before yanking her up.

“Whoa!” Rainbow flailed at the air. “Twilight, what gives?”

“Sorry, sorry.” Twilight swung her friend over to a blank section of the basement. “I don't mean to snap but these instruments are really delicate and we don't have time to fix them if they break.”

“I-it's fine Twilight. It's cool.” She stands up and brushes herself off. “What is all this stuff? Is this what science looks like?”

“No well, sort of. Raj and I, we're doing an experiment. A very important experiment.”

“Where is Raj?”

At that a tangle of cables passed through the high window near the ceiling followed by Raj's feet. “Alright, I got the RF meter wired up and it looks good.” Raj slid through the hole and fell the fifteen feet to the basement floor. “We should be able to get some good data if our window is clear.” Raj looked at Rainbow and slapped his hand against his forehead. “Holy crap I forgot about our training. I am sorry Rainbow Dash.”

“It's fine dude. It looks like what you two are doing is important. Whatever it is.”

“We're trying to listen to Raj's home planet, earth.”

Rainbow looked at her friend blankly and cocked her head “Huh?”

Twilight laughed a little. “Maybe I should start at the beginning. A few weeks ago I was talking to Raj about life on earth, getting some more material for my paper, when he mentioned a human technology, radio. I asked him to explain it and he told me that almost everything on earth revolves around manipulating radio waves.”

She cocked her head. “Aren't those just the weird, sort of worthless energy that comes off of electricity and unicorn magic and stuff.”

Twilight started and stopped herself. “Actually, yes. Someone was paying attention in science class. Yes, conventional wisdom posits that electromagnetic frequencies are just nuisance nuisance by-products of other reactions, like smoke from a fire. But humans use radio-waves to send information, just through the air!”

Rainbow looked at Raj “Really?”

“Yeah, music, mail, images, even movies are sent through the air. It's kinda sweet.” he answered back.

“It's not just 'kind of sweet' Raj, it's an astounding manipulation of natural phenomena! There's nothing like that on Equestria. It's incredible!” Twilight squeaked.

“Yeah, I guess it is. But that doesn't tell me what you guys are up to.” Rainbow Dash asked again.

“Oh, right. Well, humans broadcast information and have been doing it for a long time. That information also gets broadcast into outer space, including towards our planet. And with the right equipment, we might be able to listen to what the humans of earth are saying, albeit on a pretty significant delay.”

“Why is it delayed?”

Twilight's horn lit up and she gestured her chalk towards a formula on a board. “Radio waves move at the speed of light, like teleportation. Earth is about twenty light years away from us, so any signals we received would be twenty years old by the time they got to us and degraded to the point of being just noise, but this is an important first step to forging a bond with an extraequestrial species at large!.” Her eyes glittered with excitement and her tail started twitching spasmodically.

Rainbow looked leery for a moment at her excitement and said “Oookay, so that's what you guys have been doing? Building a bunch of machines to listen to Earth talk?”

“Yeah.” Raj answered. “I've been handling the hardware stuff and Twilight's been handling the calculations and filling in the gaps with magic.

"Gaps? Like what?" she asked.

“Like the receiver, the thing that actually catches the radio-waves.” Twilight said before going on to explain “The only one we have was salvaged from Rajrishi's vehicle in the Everfree and it wasn't anywhere near sensitive enough for what we need. But with it, I was able to devise a spell that uses a sizable part of our planet's ionosphere as a receiver and moves that down to this device.” She patted the machine with the banks of dials and buttons. “But we need as little interference from the intervening atmosphere as possible to get something clear.”

“We're going to have a pretty clear atmospheric window tonight, so we're rushing to finish some stuff up. That's why I forgot our training session. Sorry Dash.” Raj apologized

She waved him off. “It's cool dude. This sound pretty important, so we can skip a day.”

“You don't have to Rajrishi.” Said Twilight as her chalk danced over the board. “If all the components and hardware are set, all we need is to wait for tonight. I'll fine-tune some of the math, but I can do that by myself.”

Raj nodded. “If you're sure Twilight, I'll be back in a few hours. Rainbow, prepare to get stomped.”

“Right back at you big guy.” she said with a cocky grin.

* * *

Rainbow Dash's hoof flashed in and cracked against Raj's jaw. He staggered back and shook his head, hand rubbing the sore spot on his face.

RD bounced back and forth on her hindlegs, grinning wide. “Gotcha that time Raj! Didn't even see it coming, didja?”

Raj worked his jaw a few times before answering, “No I did not. You're getting better.”

“Nah, you're just realizing how good I've always been!” She let out a quick laugh and flapped her wings, launching herself at him again.

Raj threw his guard up and felt hooves rap against his forearms and hands. He gave up ground, making Rainbow over-reach. He snapped out a hand and grabbed one of her limbs on a far extension.

Her eyes widened. “Oh no.”

“Oh yes.” Raj shot back before hauling her back and and swinging her to the ground on her back. Air whooshed out of her and her head lolled. She came to her senses in time to see a black fist rocketing down at her.

Rainbow let out a fearful squeak and flinched as Raj's limb sailed past her face and buried a good half inch into the packed dirt. Rainbow cracked an eye as his other hand came down and he flicked her on the muzzle twice. “Two for flinching.”

“Oww, that hurt you jerk.”

He put a hand on his hip. “As much as being dead hurts? Cause you know you're dead, right?”

“Yeah, I know. Horseapples” She kicked at the ground despondently. “Thought I had that one, after the hit on your jaw.”

“That's why I got you. You stick around too long when you get cocky. You stay in one place for too long and you start to telegraph. You telegraph, and you die.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” She put on a weak pout. “Speed kills, you keep telling me.”

“Cause it's true. You're crazy fast Rainbow, staying in one place doesn't make use of that. Stay mobile, like the Wonderbolts did, and you'll be crushing Nagas in no time.”

That got a cocksure grin from the pegasus and she said “Looking forward to it Raj.”

He nodded and took a draw from his water bottle. He looked up at the sun and measure how far it hung on the horizon.“I think we're done for the day anyway Rainbow. Good work.”

She cocked her head. “You sure? I think I have a few rounds in me left.”

“I'm sure. I have a few things I want to check on with the experiment. Some changes to the plugs I thought of.”

“Oh, alright. I'm still not sure what all that stuff Twilight told me meant. All that science stuff just goes,” she swung her hoof over her head and made a whoosh sound. “Just, I don't follow it at all.”

Raj chuckled “I'm in the same boat Rainbow. Twilight's pulling this wagon, I'm just following along and trying not to freak out.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Freak out? Why would you freak out?”

“Because depending on how this goes, I'll know whether going home is possible for me or not.”

* * *

Twilight inspected the line of runes on the circle carved into the ground, measuring each glyph and making minute changes as she went. Not a bit of energy could escape the matrix, otherwise she wouldn't be able to achieve the distance she needed to reach the sky.

Raj lifted a roll of paper as thick as his torso onto the rack and injected another canister of ink into the hopper. The lack of a digital computer was something he regularly bemoaned while they were working together, but lacking the time, resources, knowledge, and capability to build a computer, he was forced to return to the analog contraption Twilight had stored in her basement.

The circle done to her satisfaction, she teleported herself to his side and floated over her last minute check list. “Alright Raj, one more rundown. Ink?”

“Check.” He slammed the door shut on the printing press.

“Papers?”

“Check.” He slammed the other door shut on the printing press.

“Fire extinguisher?”

“Check” He held up the red canister.

“Backup fire extinguisher?”

“Check.” he held up a larger red canister.

“Lights?”

“Check?” He clicked on the floodlights.

“Spike's basket for when he falls asleep?”

“Hey I'm not gonna fall asleep, I'm wide... awake...” He started to trail off into a yawn and sat on the grass blearily.

Raj picked the little dragon up and set him in his tiny bed. “Check.”

“All the connections?”

“Check, check, and triple checked. I think we're go Twilight.”

“Not yet we're not.” She teleported back to the center of her circle and looked up at the star speckled sky. “We have exactly... seven minutes until we're at optimal atmospheric conditions.”

“Good. Well then, let's see what we can hear.” Raj sat heavily and leaned into the eye piece of the telescope, searching for any errant bits of cloud that they'd need to correct around and tried to ignore the sweat on his palms.

A great wind whipped by and Raj startled, falling to his side. He looked up to see a flapping, blue pegasus hovering over the array.

“Rainbow!” cried Twilight. “What are you doing? These instruments are very delicate.”

“Sorry! Sorry, forgot.” She settled onto the ground. “I just didn't want anypony to miss this.”

Raj stood up. “Anypony?” Raj looked around and saw four figures trotting up the hill. “Buh?”

“Hi Raj! I brought snacks.” Pinkie reached into her mane and pulled a bowl of popcorn and a cake larger than her head out of it.

Applejack cocked an eyebrow at that and asked. “Seriously sugarcube, how much do you have in there anyhow?” Pinkie shrugged and dumped half the popcorn into her mouth.

Rarity, wearing a scarf and low boots to ward away the autumn chill, said “Rainbow Dash told us you were in distress over an experiment you and Twilight were performing, some experiment to listen to your planet. How if it was successful you'd be able to talk to your family on earth?”

Fluttershy peeked out from behind her hair. “Oh really? She told me he'd be able to surf home on some sort of wave.”

“See, now I got the impression from what she was tellin' me that thissere experiment would let him mail himself back to earth, but it would take twenty whole years.” added Applejack.

“Okay, none of that is accurate, not a bit of it.” Raj deadpanned.

“Details darling.” Rarity chided. “Regardless, something momentous and important relating to your stay in Equestria was occurring and we decided it was important to show you our support.” The other collected ponies nodded their assent. In her circle, Twilight smiled sweetly.

“You guys didn't have to do that.”

Rainbow came down and wrapped her arms around his neck form behind. “Of course we didn't, we wanted to though big guy.”

Pinkie trotted up with a plate of cake bouncing on her head. “You're our friend Rajrishi.”

“And friends're always there fer eachother.” Finished Applejack.

Raj looked down at the little ponies arrayed before him, sighed with a smile and opened up his arms. “Alright, get in here all of you.”

Pinkie squealed joyously and bounced off his chest. Raj oofed and dropped to the ground letting to the others get in and hug and nuzzle him companionably. He endured it with a reluctant smile on his face, happy for affection all the same.

An egg timer rang and Raj silenced it. “One minute Twilight.”

“I'm ready! Everypony stand back.” The unicorn set her hooves and started channeling into her horn.

Raj sat up and put his hands on his knees. “I appreciate the support, I do really, but I think you guys are going to be disappointed. There shouldn't be much to see really.”

Twilight let out a scream of effort and the runes on the ground started to boil. Her eyes burned white as motes of lavender energy drizzled off of her.

Raj blinked. “The hell is-”

The rest of his sentence was lost to a terrific sound as energy washed off of Twilight Sparkle in a hot wind that lit the hilltop up in a lavender fire. Grass for a dozen feet in all directions flattened as Twilight released the energy in a column of roiling power five feet thick. The beam vanished upwards and splashed off the sky in an expanding wave of purple that vanished into the horizon.

Smoke drifted up lazily from the runes at Twilight's hooves as she panted tiredly. Somewhere in the distance, a dog started barking furiously.

Pinkie bounced up and shouted “Woohoo! Again! Again!”

“Raj, I'm getting some extra heat off the spell. Cool down these runes.” Asked Twilight.

Rajrishi bolted to his feet and ran over, dusting the circle with frigid foam. The horizon lit up as the wave receded to a pinprick and beamed back down towards the circle. Twilight grunted as the energy fed into her overtaxed horn and channeled down into the circle, feeding along the lines as purple fire that led into the cables. Pulses of light danced down the wires and the presses started spraying out reams of data. Raj grabbed the paper and fed it along, trying to avoid smudging the ink.

The whole thing was over in minutes, the backlog of pulses in the cables feeding in one at a time until they had hundreds of kilograms of information to sift through. As the last lines were being written, he tore the page from the press and scanned it, anxious about what he'd see.

“Well Raj?” Asked Twilight as she dazedly lifted to her hooves. “What does it say?”

* * *

“Essentially, all this tells us that the earth is too quiet.”

They were in the basement of the Golden Oak Library, boxes of paper lining the one wall. A line of equations marked the board with a big number circled. Rarity scanned the math and said politely “You're going to have to explain that darling.”

“Alright, I'll try and give you the quick and dirty version. This,” he gestured at the circled number “Is the raw amount of transmission we received from Earth. Regardless of what it is, who's sending it, this is the overall RF signal strength. Signals decay over distance according to the inverse square law. If we invert that principle and stop it at the distance we know the Earth is from Equestria, we get the strength of the signal at its point of origin.”

“Okay, following along so far sugarcube.”

“Great. Now then, it's generally accepted that an object can only move so fast, that's what we call the speed of light. That's the speed of these radio-waves and the speed ponies teleport at. Based on the distance between them, it took twenty years for these signals to reach Equestria. Similarly, it took twenty years for me to get here from Equestria by standard teleportation.” He gestured to some lines of Twilight's math on the board.

“Wouldn't you be super old then?” asked Rainbow Dash.

“I don't think that's how it works, and no, I'd be forty-nine. That's not super old."

Fluttershy stood up and pointed at the board “So the waves you just received would be from shortly after you left, right?”

“Yes, right you are.” Fluttershy smiled “But they aren't.” Fluttershy drooped.

“How do you know that?” piped up Applejack.

“Like I said, the volume.” He pointed at his final number. “Back home, there was a preposterous amount of information being beamed around in the air. Cell phone signals, radio signals, internet, low band, high band, there was so much people were having trouble finding enough of the spectrum to fit their data on. And most of this information goes up to thousands of satellites that reflect those signals into space, and the vast majority of that was put in place less than two decades ago. To put it simply, this number should be much, much bigger. Hundreds of times bigger.”

The ponies in the room were quiet for a moment before Rarity sat on her haunches and asked. “While that's all very interesting darling, what does it all mean precisely.”

“That means a lot actually.” Started Twilight as she adjusted the icepack wrapped around her horn. “It means that something impossible brought Rajrishi here. He didn't arrive via teleportation or anything else, he came here, from a distant planet, in an instant with no travel time. Conventional magic has no explanation for what brought Rajrishi to Equestria.”

Pinkie lowered her ears. “But, what could do that?”

Twilight shook her head. “I have no idea. Certainly not an accident or random happenstance. Something immensely powerful and with abilities I wasn't even aware existed did this for reasons I can't even begin to fathom.”

The room was quiet for a bit save Spike's gentle snoring. Raj shrugged and said "I could be wrong, I could be dead wrong. The signal could have decayed more from proximity to a stellar body, our receiver could be less effective than we thought. Hell, I suppose it's possible that a few months after I left Earth some sort of techno-apocalypse occurred and all the signal-beaming devices and satellites shut down. I don't know, but running off of the data I have available to me, I came here at instantaneous speed."

"And if that's the case, then I've been wasting my time for months." Twilight laid her leg over her face. "Ugh, so much worthless work."

Raj shrugged. “Ultimately, this is good news. It means that I can return to an Earth I might recognize, instead of one with decades of advancement where everyone I know is aged forty or more years. If that had been the case, I think I would have just... given up. On the idea of going home that is.” he clarified quickly.

“Well thank Celestia that's not the case. I don't think I could bear to see a friend made that despondent.” Rarity said with a shudder. “Regardless, anything I can do to help you Rajrishi, all you need do is ask.” A general murmur of agreement went up among the rest with a chorus of nods.

“Glad to hear it girls. Because this puts me back to square one.”

“Square one's not so bad. It means you have the whole rest of the game to play.” Explained Pinkie.

Raj thought about that for a moment and smiled. “I suppose it does Pinkie. I suppose it does.”

Author's Note

I'm well aware that my readership skews towards the academic, so I am fully prepared for tides of "That's not how radio waves work" and "Your science is bad and you should feel bad". In that regard, like in all things, I advise everyone to adopt the MST3K mantra.

A Different Kind of Nerd Stuff

The train ground to a halt in the station and relaxed onto its brakes with a hiss of steam. Spike bounded out of the door as it ratcheted open. He yelled over his shoulder “Come on Raj, we're gonna miss it.”

“It's a museum Spike, it's not going anywhere.” Raj said as he squeezed through the undersized door.

“You don't know that!” Spike shot back as he waddled off the platform.

Raj rolled his eyes and followed after, almost every pony on the platform giving him odd looks. He actively fought down his annoyance at that and reminded himself that the ponies of Manehattan didn't know anything about him. They were entitled to some gawking.

The pair went down the steps into a bustling square filled with hoof traffic. A loaded trolley chugged by, rocking gently as it hummed along the underground cable. Raj watched it go for a moment and was nudged no less than three times by busy ponies shoving their way past him. They launched some colorful profanity his way and he resisted the urge to shoot some back.

Spike ignored this and unfurled a map from his small pack. “Alright, the Manehattan Museum of History should be down this street a few blocks. You got the tickets?”

“You mean Twilight's membership pass?” He held up the little purple chit. “Yeah, I got it.”

“Great! This is going to be so much fun.” He hopped forward, proceeding with a light skip in his step. “Thanks again for coming with me Raj.”

“Thanks for inviting me Spike. I really needed to get out of the library for a few hours.”

“Running the tests with Twilight that bad?” Spike asked sympathetically.

He shook his head. “They're not great. There's a lot of work involved and Twilight is not the most gracious to her lab assistants.”

Spike gave him an arch look. “Really? You're telling me that?”

Raj grimaced. “Point. She's running the test again tonight. We should see it on our way back to Ponyville.”

“So what's different about this time?”

“She asked the princesses to move the sun and moon a bit to minimize signal interference.”

“Oh wow.” He said as he slid to a halt at a crosswalk. “Is that safe?”

“Probably not. I recommended not asking the local demigods to move celestial bodies for our convenience, but it would apparently bug her pretty bad if she didn't do everything she could in the name of clear results.” Raj shrugged. “She's not going to be able to run the test more than a few times more anyway. Most everyone has been objecting to the sky catching on purple-fire randomly.”

“I can see that. I thought it was super neat looking though.”

“It is super neat looking, but the Griffon kingdom apparently thought they were under attack and started a full mobilization. Didn't even know griffons were still around before that. Almost every city in this hemisphere asked that we quit doing that, but far less politely.”

“That's lame.”

Raj shrugged. “Not really. All the results we get just keep supporting the original conclusion. It's just more sure now.” He sighed and looked after a retreating taxi-rickshaw. “Like I said, this is technically good news. It means it's possible for me to return to my life, but I still have no idea how to do that and neither does anybody else.”

“Twilight will figure it out. She always does.” Spike said as they started crossing the street.

“Everyone keeps saying that, and I believe them but...” He trailed off and shook his head. “It's been, god, seven months now since I crashed through the portal. At some point I'm going to have to, well.” He stopped himself and waved a hand. “Nevermind Spike, I'm being a huge bummer right now. Sorry.”

“It's cool. I get it, this is important to you. I don't mind talking about it.”

“Thanks, but dwelling on it won't help anything. Anyway, we're just about there.” He pointed at the pillared structure with the iron statues out front.

Spike's face broke into a grin. “Oh, this is going to be so cool. The Captain Jolly Roger exhibit is only open for one month a year, and I'm finally going to see it!”

“It still can't believe Twilight wouldn't come see this with you.” He looked up at the banner strung between the pillars, proudly displaying the word “Pirates!” in stylized script with a notched cutlass as the exclamation point. “I thought she'd be ecstatic you were so interested in a figure from history.”

“Well, she sort of is.” He rolled his eyes to the side. “She doesn't like how, um, there's all these stories written about him. What's the word?”

“Romanticized?” Raj offered.

“That's it. She doesn't like how romanticized he is.”

“Well, you did originally read about him in a comic book where he got in a sword fight with Princess Luna. That's sounds pretty sensationalized to me.”

“That's what makes him so cool! Nopony knows much about him, and what is known goes against other stuff that's known. Nopony's even certain of what race he was. By some accounts, he was a pony, by others he was a griffin. Some ponies even think he was a dragon, like me! He's so mysterious, any of those stories could be true.” He paused. “Maybe that's why Twilight doesn't like him, that there isn't a lot of verifiable information about his life. She's prefer I like somepony more concrete.”

“I'd bet she doesn't like the fact that you like a criminal so much. The guy was a pirate, a sky pirate.”

“Yeah, before anyone else even thought to do that, before there were even laws against it. He was so cool, he broke the rules before they were rules.” Spike protested.

Raj laughed as they went up the steps to the broad entrance of the building. The ticket taker eyed the little dragon and the big human curiously before shrugging and stamping the pass. Spike danced in and gazed up at the replica ship's prow sticking out of the wall and anchored to the ceiling. He let out an excited giggle and started staring at the glass cases filled with pirate paraphenalia. Raj leaned over the little dragon and studied what looked to be a scale model of an odd looking skyship. “Is that Jolly Roger's ship?”

“Yup, that's the Vow of Poverty, or at least as somepony described it.”

Raj rolled his eyes towards his friend. “The ancient, infamous pirate king named his ship the Vow of Poverty?”

“Yup.”

Raj smiled and nodded his head. “Alright, I think I like this guy. Pretty cool.”

“Very cool Raj.” Spike corrected. “Come on, I want to see the rest of it.”

They attached themselves to a tour led by a mare with a high bun and matronly glasses perched on her muzzle. She brought them into a large room filled with glass cases showing creatures of all races dressed in gear for sailing or fighting at sea. Many of the attendants oohed and aahed, several camera flashes filling the space. Spike had Raj lift him up so he could get a good shot of a griffon mannequin in full privateer getup that earned them a hissing rebuke from the tour leader.

The group filtered forward one chamber at a time. Another was filled with informative displays about what life on a ship was like, examples of long-lived food and a series of complex knots with an explanation for what each was meant to accomplish. Next there was a scale model replica of an old skyship that actually swayed slightly, which ended making Raj dizzy enough he sat down on a barrel and got another stinging remark from their dutiful tour guide.

After more than an hour they finally came to the room that got Spike's eyes sparkling, the Jolly Roger exhibit.

The room was larger than some of the others put together, the walls lined by glass cases with more forming aisles on the floor. Spike zipped over to a big display case and pressed his face against it, breathing heavy before he called out “Raj, look! It's Jolly Roger's flag!”

Rajrishi came closer and saw a faded sheet of black cloth, painted with a long, serpentine dragon bedecked with horns and five heads. Raj's eyes widened. “He had a dragon as his symbol?”

“Yup. He flew this flag from the prow of his airship until it was shot off during a surprise attack from the Last Royal Legion when they discovered him smuggling Earth Ponies out of the old Unicorn Kingdom. Oh, and over here!” Spike scampered over to another display “The journal of Troterina Marantzo, Jolly Roger's former first mate! And over here!” This went on for several instances, Raj following along, bemused at the little drake's happiness.

He stopped at a mannequine painted in what was supposed to be Jolly Roger's coat colors and clothes, a replica of his flag laid across the back of the case. The model wore a blue coat with tails, double buttoned in the front and with silver piping along the seams and matching pants. Curiously, he noticed that it was rather close to his own uniform, the only major differences being the lack of a high collar and a slightly different shade of blue, as well as an abundance of accessories and jewelry. He looked down the aisle and saw other glass boxes with similar figures inside, albeit with very different races. He saw a griffin, a zebra, a hunched diamond dog, and even an upright dragon down at the far end.

He leaned down to read plaque and struggled through the unfamiliar script “Though there is much disagreement among historians, many believe that Captain Jolly Roger was equine. This belief runs contrary to the Griffin Empire's records and wanted posters that clearly show a griffin named Garuda captaining his famous ship. Several firsthoof accounts from rather ancient dragons also insist a young drake led the ship and bore the name Kamr. Modern wisdom accepts that the actual captaincy of the ship was passed around the rather diverse crew, either due to the unknown death of the previous captain, retirement, or as a deliberate attempt to confuse assassins, peacekeepers, and historians.”

“Ah, they Dread Pirate Roberts'd it. That makes sense.” He said to himself.

Spike pushed past him and started darting around the displays, snapping pictures of the displays from every angle possible. As he finished, he laughed out “Perfect, I'm going to have the coolest Nightmare Night costume ever.”

“Going as Captain Jolly Roger?”

“You bet. It was either that or a two headed dragon, and I went as a one headed dragon last year. If I did that, I'd have to add another head the year after that and then pretty soon I'll be covered in so many heads I won't be able to walk.”

“That sounds like a problem alright.” Raj agreed.

“Anyway, there's one more thing you should see. Come on.” Spike started jogging to the back of the room and slid to a halt next to the wall and directed with his claws. “No visit to a pirate museum could ever be complete without treasure!”

The entire wall was covered in displays overflowing with strange wealth. “Whoa.” Raj said dumbly.

“I know, right. This is all the stuff Jolly Roger traded, sold, or lost that could be recovered. It's one of the reasons he's remembered so much. Nopony knows where a lot of this stuff comes from. Like, these coins aren't recognized by any known mint.” he tapped his claw against a display that held perfectly flat discs embossed with strange patterns. “These rods are made of glass that hum when sunlight passes through them.” Raj looked at the unremarkable translucent staves. “And a bunch of other stuff besides, all of it super mysterious and stuff. Nopony has any clue where most of it came from.”

Raj marveled at the treasures, his mind racing as he perused the little placards that described what was known about the items. Figurines that showed unknown creatures, small cups that hovered of their own accord and spun lazily in the air and stranger things besides. He took it all in with a pleasant smile on his face, until about halfway down when he stopped dead in his tracks and just stared disbelievingly at what he was seeing.

Spike reached the end of the lane and turned back to see his friend standing stock still. “Raj?” He called out and got no response. He jogged over and pulled the hem of his jacket. “Rajrishi, what's up? What's wrong?”

Raj pointed stiffly. “That vase, do you see it?”

“What the pot?” Spike looked in the case at the unremarkable ceramic vessel that had stolen his friend's attention. “It's just some pot with some unknown writing on it.”

He looked down at the little dragon. “Spike, I recognize that writing.”

The dragon's eyes widened. “You do? What does it say?”

“I don't know what it says, but I recognize that script. It's called Sanskrit. It's very old.”

“Oh,” Spike shrugged. “Did you see it in a book in the library? You should tell Twilight.”

Raj shook his head. “No, Spike, look. That's an earth language. Sanskrit was made by people, by humans.”

Spike cocked his head. “But, that would mean-”

“Yeah, it does Spike. Somehow, your pirate hero went to earth and came back.”

Chasing History at 50 Knots

Twilight lifted the pot with her magic and went over it with her scanning spell. She turned to Raj and asked again “And you're sure that is Sanskrit?”

Raj nodded “Pretty sure, yeah. My Dad had an old copy of the Guru with Sanskrit passages. They looked like that but it's been a long time. I'm not that sure.”

“It could be a coincidence.” She set the pot down. “There are many languages that bear striking similarities to each other. Zebrican shares a great deal of similar characters as ancient Griffish, despite never having interactions with one another. All I can confirm is that I have never seen that language before now.”

“Here, lemme see.” rasped Rainbow Dash as she yanked the pot free of Twilight's telekinesis. She rolled it around in her hooves, squinting at the characters and humming with concentration. “Mmm, nope. Can't read it.” She lightly tossed it back to Twilight.

Twilight snatched it in her telekinesis and zipped it back into its container. “Rainbow! Be careful! That's a priceless piece of history. It might even be from another planet.”

Rainbow shrugged. “I knew you'd catch it.”

“Still. Don't be so, cavalier with historical artifacts.”

Raj eyed the cluster of ponies examining the exhibit with varying levels of interest. Raj looked back to Twilight and said blandly. “You know, you didn't have to bring all of them. I really only needed to talk to you.”

“Your message said it was an emergency. To me, emergency means gather the Elements of Harmony. It's not my fault you were unclear.”

“What about the material it's made of?” Raj asked, trying to steer the conversation back to the previous topic.

She shrugged. “It's clay. I'm not picking up any differences that would indicate that it's extraequestrial in origin.”

Raj sat down and leaned onto his knees. “Damn, that would have clinched it.”

Rainbow lowered to the floor. “It that thing is from earth, how did it get here anyhow?”

“Well, if it is, then I'm assuming Jolly Roger brought it. Either he went to earth and brought it back, or the guy was originally from earth and brought it with him.”

“Yeah, but how though? I mean, I'm a pretty awesome flier, but I'm pretty sure I can't fly through space.”

Raj shrugged. “I don't really know. There are a lot of stories about how the Vow of Poverty could actually fly. Maybe it was able to travel through space.” Raj smiled lamely. “I know that sounds pretty weak.”

“It's still possible it came from your planet Raj.” Twilight offered.

“I don't believe that.” Interjected the matronly tour guide. “I've been running this exhibit every autumn for thirty years and this is the first I've heard about Jolly Roger going to this 'earth' place.”

“Well, he might have been from there actually. We're not sure yet.” Twilight clarified.

“Preposterous. Everypony knows that Captain Jolly Roger is, at best, a historical hoofnote. He's been overblown into a media figure due to a few dashing adventures, but I find it highly suspect that he was some sort of far-ranging explorer.”

“Ponies said that about Clover the Clever as well, and then her journals were discovered.”

The tour guide rolled her eyes “Please don't tell me you're a Chronicle Thimblehoof believer. That entire idea is ridiculous.”

“According to Clover the Clever's personal chronicler, she embarked on a mission to bring all the races of Equus together, including the Zebras and the Griffins, and explored much of Equus in doing so. His record keeping is very clear on that fact.”

“Clover the Clever never had a personal chronicler! She kept her own records and never needed anypony to do it for her. She never mentions Thimblehoof in her own journals and there are so many discrepancies between him and credible sources that he's been verified as false.”

She huffed. “That doesn't mean it never happened. There are a lot of explanations for those differences if you're willing to expand on the facts.”

The guide opened her mouth to say something but was cut off when Pinkie slid into the aisle, hair bound up in a bandanna and an actual cutlass clutched in her teeth. She giggled “How come nobody told me about this place before? All this stuff is super fun!” she bounded forwards, pointing her hoof dramatically and slurring “Yar, hoist the mizzenmast and open the sheets! Bring me that horizon.”

The guide's eyes shrunk to pinpricks and she galloped towards her “Miss, uh Miss, those aren't toys!”

“Aw, but that's what they say about all the best toys.” Pinkie shot back as she continuing skipping along the room.

Spike wiped his brow and said blandly. “Thanks Raj, you do not want to get Twilight started about Thimblehoof. We'll be here all week.”

Twilight shot a look at the tour guide's back and turned back. “I don't know Raj. Now that I'm looking at it there might be something to this idea you and Spike came up with.”

“It was pretty much just Spike actually. I've mostly just been sitting here in disbelief.”

Applejack tapped on the glass of a case. “Hey, lookee here ya'll. I think I found another piece of treasure from Raj's home.. “ She stepped back so everyone else could see. “Now you tell me that coin don't look like a human face? That thing coulda come from earth too.”

Twilight squinted at the display. “Or, it could be a piece of Centaur currency, seeing as how that's King Vorak stamped on there.” she said rather smugly.

Applejack's face fell. “Well, maybe not that one, but there's a lot of stuff in here that very well could be.”

Twilight lifted a mollifying hoof. “I'm already on board with the idea Applejack. But what's suggested is pretty far-fetched.”

“What's so far-fetched about it?” AJ asked back

Twilight drew in a breath and started “That pony may have been a little close minded, but she had a few points. I know you love Jolly Roger because he's interesting and cool or whatever, but there's not a lot of academic merit to him as a historical figure. I accept that he actually existed, but I have a hard time accepting that he wooed the Princesses or that he had an airship thousands of years before anypony in the world actually built one. According to history, he's pretty much just what she said he was. An overblown media figure that's used to sell cheesy novels.”

“Excuse me darling.” Rarity lilted, slowly sidling over. “Did you just call some of the greatest, most passionately lurid tales ever to spill forth from quill onto paper 'cheesy' by chance. I certainly must have misheard you.” she said, a bit of an edge to her tone.

Twilight sputtered. “Oh, um, well, I was just actually referring to the new series! Yeah, you know, the one put out by Foalinghouse Books?”

“Oh.” said Rarity, backing off. “Well that's fine then. If anything, 'cheesy' is too kind a work to use for that graphic novel claptrap.”

“Oh, I don't know.” whispered Fluttershy, almost making Raj jump. “I kind of like the new books. The illustrations are really nice and the character designs are cute.” Rarity slowly turned her eyes to her friend and gave her a level stare. Fluttershy's eyes widened and she shrunk back. “Or, maybe, they're not all that great.” Rarity smiled slightly and nodded.

“Well,” Raj started again, turning his attention back to the tall case holding Jolly Roger's mannequine. “I'm willing to bet that there's more to it than that. The presence of this jar alone is something significant. From what Spike's told me, there hasn't been serious academic interest in Jolly Roger for centuries. I mean, this exhibit hasn't had any significant changes or contributions in fifty years. It's entirely possible that historians missed some stuff about him.”

“I don't know, traveling through space seems like a pretty big thing to miss.” Rainbow said bluntly and earned an elbow from Applejack. “Er, what mean to say is-”

“No, you're right. This is a huge long shot. A lot of ponies already say the idea is impossible, like that tour guide lady. But, well, the impossible has already happened a few times this year. What's one more?”

The assembled mares smiled and nodded slightly, Pinkie still bouncing around the room with the tour guide hot on her hooves. “So, what's next Rajrishi?” Fluttershy asked.

“Research. Everything in this exhibit will have to be gone over, along with anything else that has even a scrap of information about Jolly Roger in it. If I'm able to find enough evidence that points to a location, I'll have to arrange an expedition to go there.”

“But, Jolly Roger was a well known criminal in all settled lands, if he kept his ship somewhere it would have to be very far away.” Rarity pointed out.

“Yeah, you're talking about going way out of Equestria.” Rainbow added.

“Oh definitely. I'll need to get military assets, supplies, full crown support at a minimum. Even if I get hard evidence, convincing Princess Luna to go for it is going to be a hard sell.”

* * *

A week later the Break of Day blew through a thick cloud-bank over Ponyville, propulsion turbines sparking and sails wide to catch the air.

Rainbow Dash leaned close and gave Raj a glib look. “Hard sell, huh?”

“I'm just as surprised as you are Rainbow.” Raj muttered back, stunned to see the vessel overhead.

As it settled over the town, Raj was finally able to get a reference for the craft's size. A good three-hundred meters in length and at least forty tall, the hanging control hull looked like a toy in comparison or some unwanted growth attached to the underside of some great, oblong behemoth. He watched as it slowly drifted down to the center of the square, harsh backdraft kicking up swirls of multicolored leaves he had to shield his eyes from.

Spike bounced up and down on Twilight's back. “Holy moley, it's huge!”

“That it is Spike. That it is.” Raj stepped in front of the assembled cluster of ponies and yelled out “Alright, so this is it Elements. We're heading for the Shatters, a range of mountains beyond the Griffin Empire. We're gonna be going further than any pony has gone in quite some time. The trip is going to be dangerous and long, two months at the absolute least. If you want to back out now, I won't hold it against any of you.”

Rainbow slung her pack up more. “You kidding me Raj? You're going on a trip to discover the lost ship and missing treasure of an ancient pirate king. This is a Daring Doo book come to life! You're not getting rid of me for anything.”

Applejack nodded, holding her hat on her head against the wind. “Darn tootin' partner. Anyhow, ah still owe ya for what happened on the farm. Anything ah can do to help.”

Fluttershy stood up tall and moved her mouth as if she was talking, but her voice was lost to the wind and sound. She finished with a slight stomp on the ground and a solid look on her face though, so the collected friends took that for resolve and went with it.

Raj looked around for Pinkie and saw her already trotting towards the descending airship. She turned around and snorted. “What, like I need a reason to go do something wild and crazy? As if!” She then burst into laughter and started springing forward.

The rest of them laughed lightly and followed after as the wind died down and the gangplank extended from the hull of the ship. As they walked, Raj looked sideways at Rarity and the cloud of belongings she held in her horngrip. “Gotta say Rarity, I'm surprised you decided to come with. A expedition to the unbeholden reaches of the world does not sound like your kind of deal.”

The white unicorn scoffed. “Rajrishi! Perish the thought. I would never leave my closest and dearest friends to undertake so dangerous and exciting a task as this without my lucid advice and aid to see them through their trials.”

Raj nodded. “And I'm guessing the literal tons of gems Jolly Roger had squirreled away somewhere from the dozens of dragon hordes he plundered has nothing to do with it?”

“Correct, absolutely nothing darling.” She said without a hint of a lie in her voice.

Raj laughed. “Never change Rarity.”

The group started towards the great ship as it settled to the ground rather daintily, the skin of the bag rippling and shaking for long afterwards with remembered movement. Pegasi swooped off of the rigging and started flapping away wayward breezes to calm the ship's motion, as even a weak wind could get caught up in the angled sails and send the whole vessel rocking.

As they started up the plank towards the deck of the Break of Day. Twilight goggled at it as she got closer, marveling at the sheer size of the thing. “Rajrishi, how in the wide, wide world of Equestria did you convince Princess Luna to loan you the newest flagship of the fleet?”

Raj adjusted the bow slung over his torso and smiled wistfully as he headed up. “Very carefully. She's still kinda sore about almost starting an international incident with that scanning spell, so I had to make some frankly outlandish promises to get her cooperation. Suffice to say, if we don't find what we're looking for, I'm going to have to stay out in the Shatters just to hide.”

“We think that would be unwise Captain.” Came a commanding voice from the keel of the ship. Luna flapped over and landed heavily, a wicked smile on her face. “We would still find thee.”

“Excuse the impertinence ma'am but what the hell are you doing here?”

“We do not excuse you Captain, but we shall answer you inquiry regardless.” She flipped her spectral mane. “We have been too long trapped within the walls of Canterlot. An adventure such as this would be in fine order. Besides, thou shall need our navigational expertise once we are beyond the map.”

“What about the moon? Aren't you the one who moves it?”

“Our sister has demonstrated adequate capacity for moving our moon. She will be able to manage during our absence.”

“Hey!” shouted the surliest looking pony Raj had ever seen from the wheel of the ship. “No time for jabber Captain. We're burning daylight we can't afford to lose.”

Raj nodded at him and looked around. Sailors rushed to and fro, doing last minute checks on the ship and the rigging that connected it to the vast balloon overhead. His gaze lingered on the six ponies clustered near the prow, laughing at some jest he didn't hear. He tamped down the pang of worry he felt and shook it off, heading for the keel. “Aye, all's aboard. Let's get her moving ponies.”

Witness to Many Strange Things

Beneath the Break of Day, the sea rolled and roiled like a carpet of living glass. Turquoise jewels glittered and shone in scintillating patterns between vast fields the pale blue of deep, deep water at noon. Arcs of brilliant shine rose in great crests, crowned in caps of salty foam. They reached high, some high enough to kiss the sealed wood of the hull, and hung there for an instant before crashing down into the valleys of itself with power enough to launch chilling sprays that glided along the deck. The clouds wet the ship for an instant before being pulled into their wake and twisting into clouds of glittering salt. Even the veteran sailors took the time to look up and admire the incredible beauty swirling around them.

And Raj and Spike weren't appreciating one bit of it.

“Okay, so what do sapphires taste like?” Raj asked, his back to one of the swaying tether lines.

“Blueberries. Freshly picked, ripe blueberries. I love those sprinkled on a cupcake or in a bowl of oatmeal. It really elevates the whole thing.” Spike said back, swaying with the motion of the ship.

“That's crazy. So, like, does iron and titanium taste like berries to you?”

Spike gave him an odd look. “No, why would they?”

“Well, because that's what sapphires are. They're just corundum with iron and titanium in them. Otherwise they're exactly the same.”

“They definitely are not that. I've had corundum, it's really sour. I don't really like it.

“So adding titanium to sour somehow makes blueberries? That's makes even less sense than I'm used to.”

“Well, I can tell you why it's like that. It's because they're blue.”

“Come again?”

“They're blue, so they taste blue.”

“Blue is not a flavor Spike. Blue is a color. I know you're young, but this is kindergarten stuff. Don't eat paste, keep your clothes on, blue is a color. You should be past this level.”

Spike gave him a brief glare. “Then why do sapphires and blueberries taste so similar?”

“Bear in mind, they don't to me. They just taste like flavorless stones.”

“Maybe to your weak, mammalian taste buds. But to me they taste like fresh blueberries. Turquoise taste like grapes, and lapis tastes like pansies.”

“The flower?”

“Yeah.”

“Good.” Raj shielded his face from an arcing spray of water. “Fine, I'll accept what you're saying only because I am biologically incapable of refuting it. But lots of blue things don't taste similar. Blue corn just tastes like corn. Blue potatoes are just weird colored potatoes, nothing berry like about them.”

Spike waved a claw. “Those don't count. Those are things that aren't supposed to be blue that are altered.”

“No they aren't. They grow that way.”

The little dragon shrugged. “Still. Using those is like painting a banana and claiming that it should taste like a berry now, when clearly it won't.”

“You know, banana's are technically berries.”

Spike gave him a level look. “What?”

“Yeah man. They stem from one flower and typically have many seeds. That's what berries are.”

“Banana's don't have seeds in them. You're crazy.”

Raj shook his head. “Dude, if the don't have seeds, then how do they grow?

“I always figured that the whole fruit was the seed, like a coconut.”

Rajrishi opened his mouth to reply, stopped, and then folded his arms in thought. “Actually that might be true, I don't know. Where's Twilight? She'll know about this.” Raj rose up to go look for the scholarly unicorn when he was badly startled by something enormous breaching the surface off the side of ship.

He swore and stumbled away, shielding himself from a blast of water and stinging spray. Spike floundered in the sudden wash and clawed at the deckboards. Raj cleared his eyes and looked up at something enormous undulating alongside the ship.

“A Flapback Whale!” Shouted Fluttershy as she appeared out of nowhere, leaning over the deck and grinning wide. “Oh my goodness, I never thought I'd see one for myself. Oh my goodness!”

Raj stood up and looked the great beast over. It was easily fifty feet long, more than half the Break of Day's hull. The whole of that length was covered in dozens of spindly, flapping wings, each one struggling to keep the creature aloft as it twisted and undulated through the air. As Raj stared it did a short corkscrew maneuver and crashed back into the surf, launching another wave of water over the deck that washed Spike up against the gunwale. Further off into the ocean, another pair crested the waves and began soaring along briefly, much to Fluttershy's squeaking delight.

Raj stepped over, trying not to shiver, and helped Spike back up to his feet. He looked down at Fluttershy and asked “What are they doing?”

She looked up at him with sparkling eyes “They're displaying Rajrishi. Flapback's attract mates by breaching the surface and flying for as long as they can. The strongest fliers are the most likely to reproduce.”

Spike brushed a tangle of seaweed off of himself. “But, wait, then why are they flying next to our ship like that?”

Fluttershy's face fell and she looked away awkwardly. “Oh, well, um, I don't. Um, that is to say-”

“It be exactly what you think.” Muttered a grizzled pegasus as he came to the side of the ship. “That whale is thinking that our hull be the finest cow he's ever laid eyes on. Him and every other bull in his pod be hoping to make time with our ship.” Fluttershy squealed and covered her face, flushing with embarrassment. The sailor pony laughed “Don't ye be worrying Miss Fluttershy, ole' Topsail won't let the flappy beasts get to you. The broadsides be primed to warn off any of the things that get too insistent with their seductions. We're safe.”

Fluttershy hopped up, getting close to his face and begged “Y-you're going to shoot them? You can't!”

Topsail waved her back “Calm down missy, don't fret. They're only on a quarter charge. Be a discouraging boop on the nose to something of that size, nothing more.” Fluttershy bit her lip and made a terrified sound in her throat. Topsail scowled “Don't you be giving me foal eyes now. I won't let one of those randy things get anywhere near this ship. They could snap a vane or crack the rudder, and without somewhere the set down to affect repairs we'll be in a tight spot.”

Seeing the distress this was causing his friend, Raj asked “Couldn't we pick up some altitude? Get over the things?”

Topsail huffed “We get too high this far out to sea and the greatwinds will buffet us silly, worse since we're going cross to 'em. It's why nopony goes east this time of year. 'Less we got some ground underneath us that'll calm the wind, this is our maximum altitude.” Topsail spat to the side. “And before you ask, we can't spool up the engines to outpace them neither. I'm burning us at the most efficient rate we can muster, seein' as we won't be finding anywhere to refuel on this voyage. Now, unless you two suddenly learned how to be sailors, clear the deck. There's too much sea up here for anyone not trained. Below decks, all ya.”

Fluttershy looked like she had more to say but the salty old stallion did not look like he was interested in any argument. The three of them trudged along the wet and uneven deck to the quarter deck.

The other six passengers were in there already, their faces pressed against the glass paneled stern to observe the flying and bounding whales. A wave splashed off the side of the ship and Rainbow Dash pointed out with a gleeful smile on her face. “See? Flying is so awesome even whales want to do it.”

Applejack lowered off the wall and said. “Neat and all, but some o' them're getting pretty close. What if one them bangs the ship?”

“Bad choice of words Applejack.” Raj said as he wrung out his jacket.

She looked over at him. “What happened to you?”

“The ocean decided to some say hi. Interrupted a very important conversation Spike and I were having.”

“Well, you look positively dreadful darling.” She grabbed his jacket with her telekinesis and pressed a towel and clothes into his hands. “Get out of those sopping clothes, we can't have you catching a chill.”

Raj nodded and stepped into a lavatory to change. He called out through the wall “We're supposed to stay off deck for a few hours, at least until the whales are gone. Shipmaster's say so.”

“What?” Rainbow asked. “We have to stay cooped up down here for the rest of the day? Lame.” she lowered to the ground and pointed at Princess Luna. “Couldn't you tell him to let us up there? Like, pull rank on him?”

Luna cocked an eyebrow. “We are not going to exert Royal authority so that thou might stretch your wings Rainbow Dash.”

“Dang it.” She muttered as she lowered to the ground. “These whales are the most exciting thing that's happened in the last two weeks. I'm going crazy here!” She clutched her head between her hooves.

“You knew what you were getting into Rainbow. We've got at least another week before we get to the Shattered Lands.” Twilight lifted a quill and indicated what looked to be their location on a map.

Rainbow ran her forelegs down her face “Oh dear clouds, I'm going to go crazy in here.” She flapped and darted around rapidly in the narrow confines of the ship. “Nothing boring like this happens in Daring Doo. She just finds out about some weird, ancient artifact and then the next page she's just there. None of this boring travel stuff.”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “This isn't a Daring Doo book Rainbow. We're going to have to slog through the boring stuff if we want to get to the adventure itself.”

Pinkie bounced over the blue pegasus and put a comforting hoof on her shoulder. “Aww, don't worry Rainbow. It won't be that long. Why, I bet we'll be there before you even-”

* * *

“know it!” shouted Pinkie as she leaned over the railing to goggle at the soaring, craggy peaks of the Shattered Lands.

Raj looked at her. “What?”

“Nothing, just finishing something.” She lowered back down to the deck

“Alright. Moving on.” He turned his attention back to the map rolled out on the boards. “Everyone, we're just about there, so it's time I went over the plan one more time.” someone cleared their throat nearby. “And by I, I of course mean Twilight Sparkle. Twilight.” He stepped aside and gestured to the unicorn in question.

She stepped forward. “Thank you Rajrishi. Everypony, this” a cloud of floating pins flew out to indicate on the map. “is the Shattered Lands, an enormous mountain range east of the Griffin Kingdom. It's dangerous, largely unexplored, and the final resting place of Captain Jolly Roger and his magical flying ship. I'm sure of it.” She paused for a moment. “Well, actually about eighty percent sure of it.”

“What even makes you so sure of that darling? I'm a little unclear on that.” Rarity asked.

“Well, that involved a lot of research actually. Once I looked over the existing information relating to Jolly Roger I realized there were a bunch of holes in it. So many sources had been discounted because they didn't fit existing information, but by broadening our scope a lot fell into place. There were many villages and towns that reported sightings of him and his ship. All of those sightings, and the timelines associated with them, point to a location in the Shatters that he was operating out of.”

“Like a port of call?” Applejack asked.

“Exactly. Each country that Jolly Roger raided assumed he was operating from one of the others. Equestria thought he was a privateer working for the Griffin Kingdom, the Griffins thought he was an Equestrian agent, etc. Actually, from what I've read he actually hindered foreign relations for everyone. It wasn't until years after his death that it became generally accepted that he wasn't associated with any country.”

“We can assure that.” Added Luna. “The number of times we faced an angry ambassador accusing us of funding piracy on their shores grew frustratingly large over the decades.”

“But if he wasn't working for anypony, just himself, he would need somewhere to berth his ship.” Twilight continued. “Assuming the Vow of Poverty runs on anything approaching conventional rules, it would still need maintenance, supplies, and repairs. Not a lot of that can be done on the move.” She shrugged. “At the least he would need somewhere private to hide all of his treasure.”

“But what makes you think it's in this Shattered place? If he had a flying ship, couldn't he have hidden himself like... here?” Rainbow pointed at a section of mountains in the Griffin Kingdom.

Twilight scrutinized it. “That's beak peak, a long settled griffin city, but I do see your point. What made me think that Jolly Roger based himself out of one of the most inhospitable regions on the planet? Well, to understand that, you have to realize just how much the governments of the day hated Jolly Roger. Fleets of ships were constructed for the sole purpose of finding and capturing him. Whole families of dragons tried to hunt him down for years. King Gaffort even put a fifty thousand bit bounty out for anyone who could just get rid of him. But he evaded all of them.”

“We can assure that as well.” said Luna, a little crisply.

“Well, he didn't dodge the law forever. Something happened to him, must've. A varmint like that don't just decide to quit his ways one day. Somepony musta caught up to him.” said Applejack.

“Oh, I don't know Applejack. Mayhap he just had a change of heart, brought on by by having it stolen by a beautiful and sensual mare, like in Sails of Fleece?” Rarity floated a dog-eared novel in front of her face. “Oh, maybe he's living in peaceful romance with her still, so many centuries later. Oh, that would be just divine.”

“Rarity, if Jolly Roger is still alive, I doubt he's going to want to sign your books.” Raj teased.

“You don't know that!” Rarity shot back venomously before her face brightened again.

“This meeting seems concluded.” Luna said brusquely. “We shall take our leave.” She flapped her wings and glided over to the prow of the ship.

The remaining seven looked at each other for a moment before Raj said “I'll talk to her. Don't worry about it.” The six ponies nodded and milled off to other parts of the ship.

Raj made his way over to the princess and saluted sharply. “Princess Luna.”

“Captain.”

“Can I trouble you for a round of archery practice? I think I'm finally getting the hang of this thing.” He held up his bow and hip quiver.

“You most certainly are not. Crescent has largely given up on you ever achieving anything approximating skill at the discipline and has resigned herself to guiding your every shot as long as you choose to wield her. Further practice is simply a waste of time and arrows.” She said, her back to him.

Raj paused. “That's a pretty cold thing for a bow to think.”

“Hmm.” was all she said in response.

He stood in silence for a minute before asking. “Permission to speak freely?”

“Granted.”

“The hell is your deal?”

She craned her neck to look at him, a flicker in her mane the only thing betraying emotion. “Elaborate.”

“You've been in a mood this whole trip. Hiding in the hold, barely talking to anyone and when you do you're short and clipped. I didn't think the Princess of the Night could get snitty.”

Luna let out a genuine laugh. “Captain, we have been many things in our lives. Proud, malicious, lustful, angry, but we never have been, or ever shall be, snitty.”

Raj walked up to the rail with her and leaned his back to it. “Then what's up?”

“The... the Shattered Lands hold many bad memories for us. We attended this journey as a factor of obligation and necessity. Prior, we had hoped to never return to that benighted place.”

“I figured you'd like somewhere that's benighted.” Luna gave him a level look and he immediately retracted. “Sorry, bad joke, bad timing.”

“Quite.” She cleared her throat. “The Shattered Lands are an unnatural place, beyond any conception of what is right or normal.”

Raj furrowed his brow. “Is it really all that?”

Luna looked past him. “See for thineself.”

Raj turned around as the Break of Day rose over the barrier mountains surrounding the Shattered Lands.

The first thing Raj saw, the very first thing, was a volcano spewing lava into the air. The massive fire mountain rumbled and growled, a haze of heat and smoke bubbling off it. As he watched, a great monster of rock and flame breached the surface and sent a cloud of burning embers into the air. He heard the embers crying out and saw them flapping at the air, bobbing and weaving to evade the monster's grasping tentacles. A few were too slow and were caught by the thing's burning coils and shoved into it's cavernous maw. Raj stared at this for a second before turning his attention to the swooping cloud of ember-like creatures. He watched them school together and spiral down the face of the volcano, drawing heat off of the trickling lines of fire running down the ashen face of it. The lava met a cliff and dropped down into burning pools and the ember creatures dropped with it, circling the stream before diving into it with ululating keens that reached his ears so high up. Then, as one, they circled about and flew underneath the volcano. That's when Raj realized something that made him gasp.

The volcano was floating. It was moving.

The lava trickling off the lip of it had left a burning line down the length of a dark valley, a trail hundreds of miles long. As he looked, he saw other masses like the volcano, stones the size of city blocks floating lazily in the air, blithely ignoring gravity and sense.

Raj stood there staring for ten minutes or two hours before Luna spoke up. “A Magma Kraken and Mantle Rays. They live in lava pools, typically far below ground, but here they rise up to the surface. One of the only places in the world they do so regularly.”

“I...” Raj choked. “Where does all the, it it's spewing that stuff out all the time then... I don't know what to be amazed by first.” He turned to her. “How... how is this place-”

“Real?” She finished for him and gestured out at the expanse. “This place is the battleground upon which the Forming Wars were fought. Titan battled titan here, ages ago. The forces unleashed were unlike any seen in this iteration of existence. The unleashed might shattered natural law. It is why ponies must control the weather, why mine sister and I must move the sun and moon and planets, because the battles fought in this place destroyed the natural mechanisms that would secure their orbits. In this terrible place though, the effect is more pronounced. Mountains fly, ice flows, and light sings here, simply because the rules telling them not to do not apply here.”

Raj stared dumbfounded, ignoring the sounds of jubilation from his friends as they took in the wondrous sights. “How could one battle do all that?”

Luna looked at him squarely. “Captain, Titans died in this place, something that many didn't know was possible until it occurred. Indeed, it was the death of Titans that so fractured reality and left this gaping wound in the world. Besides that, millions more died in the fighting. Under those mountains are the bones of ponies, minotaurs, centaurs, griffins, rakshasa, faeries, and a thousand others I can't even remember.” She paused. “Including my brothers and sisters.”

“Wait, like, other Alicorns?” Raj asked, somewhat stunned by all the new information.

“Indeed. Celestia and I were not the only alicorns our mother created, we are merely those who survived. Terra, Consus, Empyrean, all were my honored siblings, all royal children of the Faustmare. And all were snuffed out before they had the chance to imprint their legend on the world.” She fluffed her wings. “So there, Captain, that is why we are 'snitty' as you put it. We are not relishing the idea of finding your ratty vagabond in the place my siblings should be resting.”

Raj blinked. “I'm sorry I upset you. I didn't know about any-”

She held up a wing to silence him. “Do not apologize.” She looked back at the six ponies excitedly looking down at the flailing Magma Kraken. “Do not share what we have told you with the others. Knowledge of these dour subjects is a burden they need not shoulder.”

“Yes'm.”

“Good. We are going below deck to rest. Please do not disturb us further.” At that she turned and walked down the steps and into the foredeck.

Interlude: Fear is Not Universal

Author's Note

This indulgent little aside takes place during the time-lapse in the middle of Chasing History at 50 Knots. Enjoy.

Interlude: Fear is Not Universal

Raj stood up and slid his aviator shades down his nose to admire his look in the mirror. He tilted his head and called out. “Alright Twilight, you win. The costume you gave me is much better.”

“I told you!” Her voice echoed from up in the loft. “Commander Easyglider always had a classic style.”

“I kinda remind myself of a character from Top Gun, but I'm still digging it.” He ruffed up the edge of the bomber jacket. “I think I'm going to keep this jacket after Nightmare Night, if that's alright.”

“I'm glad you like it.” She trotted down the steps. “I'm afraid I can't really say the same about the one you put together for me.”

Raj turned around and frowned. “What's wrong with Captain Amareica?”

She looked down at her stretched, blue and white suit. “Nothing really, I just don't get it I suppose.”

“What's to get? He's a character from a comic book, and a bunch of movies, and cartoons. He's kind of everywhere really, just all over the place back on earth. He's awesome.”

“What about this shield though?” she floated the circular disc in front of him and inspected it. “You made it sound like he fights a bunch of bad guys, but he uses a shield to fight? Wouldn't a sword be better, or one of those gun things you talked about?”

“Well, I mean, it's a special shield Twilight. He throws it and it bounces back to him.”

“Oh, so it's magic. That makes sense.” She nodded.

“Well, no. It's not a magic shield, it's just made of this super tough metal. He's just really good at figuring out angles and stuff I guess.” Raj explained

She looked at him with a raised eyebrow. “That makes no sense. To make a thrown, spinning discus bounce back at him he's have to know the density of what it's hitting, the speed at which it's spinning and traveling, the angle of impact, and the distance he's throwing it."

“I don't know if it's as hard as all that.”

She wrapped the shield in a layer of telekinesis and spun it at the wall where it bounced gracelessly off the wood and clattered to the ground. “Hey look at that, now I'm defenseless and poorly dressed.”

“Hey, I didn't say it was realistic. I'm just telling you what he did.” He raised his hands defensively and laughed a bit. “Let's get going.” Twilight nodded and lowered her emblazoned cowl.

The pair moved out of the library and into the full festivity of Ponyville's Nightmare Night. Every street was lined with glowing jack-o-lanterns and leering scarecrows. Stretched taut lengths of web connected the street lamps that crawled with mild-mannered spiders. Windblown leaves crunched under his boots as he walked past small hordes of children, all of them dressed in costume and chanting the song that would summon more candy into their bags.

Raj took a deep inhale of the crisp, autumn air and let out a blissful sigh. “God I love Halloween.”

“That's what you call Nightmare Night on earth, right? It's a similar celebration?”

“Very similar. Costumes, candy, spooky stuff, the trappings are largely the same. It's... nice. Seeing something as familiar as this.” Raj stopped to look across the street at a pair of ponies bobbing for apples and failing miserably while their friends laughed and cheered them on. He smiled and looked down at her. “You don't have to wear that you know. You can put on one of Rarity's costumes when we get there.”

She shook her head. “Nope, we have a deal. You wear a costume from our culture, I wear one from yours. Anyway, now that I'm moving around in it, it's starting to grow on me. I feel, I don't know, heroic?” She lifted a leg and struck a pose, shield presented forward.

Just then, a grasping claw shot out from underneath a hay pile and grabbed at Twilight's leg. She let out a sharp cry of alarm and disappeared in a flash, circular shield rattling to the cobblestones.

Raj's hand was on his knife when he heard hooting cries come from the pile of hay and it started shaking with laughter. His hand relaxed and he let out a breath before saying “Snips, Snails. It's alright Twilight, it's just a joke.”

“You sure?” She asked from her shivering perch atop a streetlamp.

“Yeah, don't worry. No grabby monster's gonna get you.” jeered the chubby colt as he climbed from his hiding place, a stick-mounted claw held in his hooves. He worked it with his magic a few times and burst into a fresh set of chuckles.

“Yeah, just, uh, just us sorta... grabbing at you.” said Snails as he poked his head out fo the covering hay.

Twilight appeared a ground level and shot them a glare before softening into a chastening look. “Nice prank you two, but be careful whom you catch with it. Somepony is liable to get hurt.”

“We know, that's why we grabbed you instead of Captain 'Rishi.” The colt gave him a poor salute and started sinking back into his hiding place. “Now stop talking to us. Somepony else is coming and we wanna get them too.”

“Yeah, get out of here. If, that'd be alright with you that is. Thank you very much.” Snails droned before adding “Happy Nightmare Night!”

Twilight rolled her eyes and replied. “Happy Nightmare Night you two.”

Raj and Twilight had made it about thirty feet when they heard a similar cry of alarm followed by braying laughter. Twilight shivered and muttered “That is definitely not my favorite part of Nightmare Night.”

“What? The frights? Come on, that's the whole point of the holiday.” Raj protested.

“For some, but it also alienates some ponies. Fluttershy is so nervous about getting spooked she locks herself in her cottage every Nightmare Night.”

Raj's eyebrows shot up his head. “I did not know that.”

“It's true, and it's because of pranksters like Snips and Snails that I can't spend time with one of my best friends on this holiday.”

“Alright, to be fair, Fluttershy is not a good benchmark for what should be classified as scary.”

“Point.” Twilight conceded.

“Twiiiiliiighht!” They both heard echoing down the street. They turned to see a squat dragon in a pirate costume running at them on all fours, panting powerfully. She slid to a halt and leaned over himself, gasping for breath. “There *huff* you are. Are you *puff* okay?”

She cocked her head in confusion. “I'm fine Spike. What's wrong?”

He stood up straight, composure recovered. “I heard you yell out from a few blocks away and came as fast as I could. What happened?”

“Oh!” Twilight frowned, a hoof held up to her chest. “I just, I was pranked by Snips and Snails. Don't worry, I'm fine.”

Spike's face fell. “Really? You brought out a class five yell for a prank?”

“You have classes for Twilight's shouts?” Raj questioned.

“Twilight yells a lot, and if there's one thing I've learned from her it's the importance of being organized.” He started counting on his claws. “Class two is when she's mad, class three is when she's trying to get somepony's attention, class four is when she's scared, and class five is when she's really scared.”

“What's a class one?”

“That's when she has company over. Haven't heard that one in a long time.”

“Sick burn.” Raj extended a fist.

“You know it.” Spike punched his balled up claw into his hand.

Twilight's face screwed up and she shouted. “Can we just get to Rarity's house!?”

* * *

“...and those very ponies, were never heard from... again!” flourished Rainbow Dash as she jumped up, a strong beat from her wings kicking air into the fire and sending a twisting spiral of embers into the air.

It was hours later on a barren hill in Sweet Apple Acres. They'd walked the Apple family maze, dove for apples, eaten enough dipped, fried, glazed, and sweetened treats to satisfy even Pinkie Pie for a few moments. As the midnight bell was tolling, Applejack had uncovered a keg of gold-label cider and offered to share, provided they gave her company to drink it with. All six had obliged, retiring to a firepit Spike kindled for them and retired to drinking and the traditional telling of ghost stories.

Pinkie let out a long, sharp cry and clutched at Rarity, her roller skates tangling themselves into her kelpie costume.

Dash landed on her seat and looked around at her friends with a frown. “Wow, I only got Pinkie with that one? What's wrong with you guys? That story is gold.”

“Yeah, it's a good 'un, but I've heard it before. That's the same story you spooked me and Rarity with when we went campin'.” drawled Applejack as she finished a mug of cider.

“Yes darling, and I believe that I heard a similar rendition at Twilight's first slumber party.” Rarity explained as she peeled Pinkie Pie off of her.

“What? That's lame. What about you Spike, why weren't you scared?”

“Eh.” The little pirate/dragon shrugged and yawned. “That story is passed around Celestia's school all the time. I've heard every version of it, Twilight too.”

Rainbow looked over at her friend who gave her an apologetic nod. “Sorry Rainbow. The Headless Horse is old hat by now.”

She kicked at the dirt. “Well, at least Pinkie wasn't spoiled on it.”

“Actually, I was.” She chirped, immediately brightening. “I've heard it plenty of times too. You think this is my first spooky bonfire? I've heard The Headless Horse of the Road, The Headless Horse of the Cave, The Headless Horse is in the House, The Headless Horse goes to College, just about all of them.” She counted them off on her hooves, floating for just an instant when she got to the fourth before flopping to the dirt with a deflating squeak. “I was just being a good sport about it.”

“Well this sucks. I can't ever tell that story again!” Rainbow complained.

“It was a good story Rainbow. You presented it very well. Good eye contact, lots of movement to keep your audience disoriented, and kicking up the fire at the end was a great finisher.” Raj complimented as he reclined on his log, a full mug of cider in front of him

Rainbow pointed a hoof. “What about you, huh? No way you've heard that one, you're from a different planet. Why weren't you scared?”

Raj shrugged. “I liked the story Rainbow. I just don't scare easy.”

“Horseapples.” Rainbow said. “Everypony's been spooked at some point tonight.”

Rarity looked up in thought. “Actually girls, now that I think about it, I don't believe he's shouted or cried out even once tonight. Not that I remember.”

Applejack tilted back her mug again. “Eh, I'm not in a good state for thinkin'.”

“That's not true anyway. When Snips and Snails grabbed at Twilight I just about jumped out of my socks.”

“That was being startled, not scared.” Twilight pointed out. “Getting startled is largely biological. Everything does it.”

“That's a fair difference.” Raj conceded.

“Alright, so if Equestrian stories don't scare you, then tell us one that does.” Rainbow challenged, forelegs crossed over her chest. “You're not scared like ponies are, let's see if ponies are scared like humans are.”

Raj sat up, leaning forward with a slight smirk. “So it's finally my turn then. Alright, give me a minute.” He stared down into the fire for a while, gathering his thoughts. “I have a story, but it's going to have some holes. There are some differences from Earth to Equestria that don't translate well.”

Rainbow waved a hoof. “Lay it on us Raj. This ought to be good.”

He took a long breath and begain. “I can't speak for all humans, but what scares me... what scares me is always real. The fantastical stories, the folktales and fables and stuff are fine for a lark or a brief jolt of fear, but the kind of thing that makes my blood go cold and squirms up my gut is the inexplicable nature of real life stories. And with that, I'll tell you the story of the girl that was there, then wasn't, then was.”

He paused again, clearing his thoughts before speaking again. “A few years ago, there was a Girl who traveled to a far off city. She was a happy girl, good to her family, good to her friends, and successful in her life. Then one day, she was gone. Simply disappeared. Her absence was noticed immediately. The police searched her hotel, asked everyone who had seen her what happened and they all told the same story; she was a friendly, outgoing Girl who was a delight to everyone she met.”

“Oh dear.” muttered Rarity, voice quiet. “I don't believe I like where this is going.”

Raj continued. “More than a month later, something started happening at her hotel. The other guests started complaining about the water. It was dark and had a strange taste and smell. A lot of guests checked out and the staff started searching. After a week, one of them went up to the roof, where large water tanks were stored. One of the staffers opened the heavy steel lid, and that's where he found the Girl, floating dead in the hotel's water supply for more than a month.”

All five ponies and one dragon went completely still. Pinkie was the first to speak up. “Y-y-you mean they were... they were drinking water that was-”

“Yup, and bathing in it, washing in it. Cleaning their clothes and floors with it. Brushing their teeth with it.” Raj explained, keeping his voice even. Pinkie fell to the ground and let out a strangled retch, almost on the edge of heaving.

Spike looked up at his guardian and said “Twilight, slumber me.” the unicorn tilted her head and tapped her horn again his skull. There was a brief pulse of magic and Spike dropped to the ground, fast asleep in an instant and safe from any lingering terror.

“Ah don't think ah want to hear any more o' this.” Applejack drawled as she quaffed the rest of her mug.

“I can stop.” Raj offered. “I won't be offended.”

“Not on your life dude.” Rainbow said, at rapt attention. “Keep going, what happened next?”

“Well, they removed her body and examined it. She had no marks on her body, no violence had been done to her.”

“Oh that is a relief.” chided Twilight with a shudder.

“But that's the weird part. To this day, nobody knows how she got in there. Climbing up to the hatch required a ladder and there wasn't one on the roof. And the hatch was closed, something that is very hard to do from the inside of the tank. Getting to the roof was difficult for a guest to do, but not impossible. In the end, nobody knows how she got up there, whether she was alive when she ended up in the tank, or what happened to her before. Likely, we'll never know.” Raj leaned back, hands knit behind his head.

The circle went quiet for a minute. Applejack spoke up “That... that's it?”

“Yep. That's the story.” Raj said flatly.

“So, what happened to her? What's the end of the mystery?” Rainbow asked, leaning forward with intent.

“Like I said, nobody knows. Her death is unsolved to this day.”

Rainbow shot up to her hooves. “That's a horrible story! There's no ending, it just stops! And you left all those dangling 'what ifs', like a bunch of stuff could have happened to her without telling us what did!” She pointed a wobbly hoof at him. “I am going to re-do that whole story, overhaul the thing, give the girl a name or something. I'm going to make that a super awesome fireside scary story and not some ridiculous, half-finished garbage!” At that she flapped her wings hard and flew upwards in a slightly shaky line towards her cloud house.

“I believe that is a fine endcap to a lovely evening.” Said Rarity as she stood up, Pinkie still clinging to her tail and looking at her pleadingly. “Darling, would you like me to walk you home?”

“Yes please.” Pinkie squeaked, cuddling her friend's tail.

“Certainly dear. 'Night all.” She called out as she started walking, yanking Pinkie along on her skates.

“Rarity?”

“Yes Pinkie?”

“Can you keep me safe from the corpse-water too?”

“Of course dear.” she said earnestly as she dragged her friend away.

Applejack stood up, wavered a bit, and re-settled her hooves. She pulled off the mane of her lion costume and muttered to herself. “Ah reckon I've had about enough.” at that she started walking towards the farmhouse, stumbling a bit with every other step.

A forcefield bubble wrapped around the fire for a moment, smothering the flames and releasing a great plume of smoke when it left. Twilight looked up at Raj as he stood and said “You know, I think I'm the only one who figured it out?”

“Hmm?” sounded Raj as he lifted Spike's sleeping form into the divot in Twilight's shield.

“Why that story scares you, what you're afraid of.”

Raj smirked and let out a short breath. “Yeah, I know too; heights and bats."

Twilight rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean."

He laughed. "I do, but keep it to yourself Purple Smart.”

“Sure thing Thumb Beast.” she said playfully and bumped his hip.

And so ended Rajrishi's first Nightmare Night.

Thunder That's Not Thunder

Rajrishi let out a long, hissing breath and shook on his perch. Eyes clamped shut, he blindly reached upwards for the next rung and hauled himself up the small distance. The armored surface of the Break of Day's bag was cold to the touch and gave not at all to his weight, but the slim column of steps that curved up the surface bounced under his feet, making his heart speed up every time he settled his weight on a new surface.

Cautiously, he opened his eyes and looked up, immediately feeling a sense of vertigo as he gazed at the craggy underside of a floating mountain, the lizard part of his brain telling him he was looking at the ground and was about to go sailing up to splatter against the rock. He let out a groan of consternation and clutched to the ladder, trying to keep his wits.

“Raj?” Came a tinny, echoing voice from further up. “Rajrishi, is that you?”

“Yeah, yeah it's me.” He called back and raised a hand up to wave.

“Okay, well, let me help.” Raj nearly screamed out loud when he felt something pull at his limb and gripped the rung tight enough to warp the metal. A lavender glow covered his hand, pulling him up rather insistently. Moving with unwise haste, he started to scramble up the curving ladder as it flattened out into a transition to the top and he dragged himself along the rising rail.

Twilight stood on a raised, flat platform set on top of the bag. The crow's nest, as Topsail had described it. There were a trio of long necked telescopes and a small writing desk next to her, anchored to the floor by a layer of lavender glow. As he approached, he felt his ears pop and the omnipresent wind that had been whipping around him went abruptly silent. He stopped to look around and realized there was a faint, translucent dome surrounding the platform, visible only from the absence of windblown grit and cloudstuff. He slipped a hand through and was treated to the uncomfortable feeling of pressure changing against his skin. “Huh, neat.”

She smiled up at him and asked. “You find the place alright Rajrishi?”

“I most certainly did not. The next time you need to talk to me, you come down to the damn ship. I about soiled myself climbing up here.” He pointed a thumb over his shoulder at the curving edge of the ship. “Did you forget that not everyone can teleport? That's a shitty thing to forget Twilight.”

“Oh, right.” She giggled and covered her mouth. “Sorry.”

“Its fine. Why'd you call me up here?”

“Come take a look.” She adjusted a telescope for him to see and angled it towards something distant.

Raj crouched down and pressed his face to the eyepiece. His vision blurred for an instant before resolving against the face of another floating mountain. He studied it intently for a minute and was barely able to see the surface through the layer of writhing lichen, something numerous and massive hiding just beneath the damp surface of it. As far as the Shattered Lands went, that wasn't all that strange. “What's so special about this one Twilight?”

“Nothing. What's so important about it is that it's there.”

“Elaborate.”

A pair of drawn maps floated over to him, detailing circular patterns. “I think there's a method to the patterns of the floating mountains. I observed that one a few days ago and recorded its movement, extrapolated it's speed and direction and predicted how it would move, and I was right!” She grinned, her mouth giving out a weak little squeak. “Do you know what this means?”

“We can figure out how the Shattered Lands move, which will give us a way to search it more effectively.”

“No, it means that-” she paused. “That's... exactly right Rajrishi.”

Raj smiled. “If you had a big speech queued up, feel free to go through with it Twilight. I didn't mean to break the bottle off.”

“No, no, it's fine. I'll just use it when I explain it to the others.”

“How do these giant floating rocks move anyway? What's the pattern like?”

“That is quite fascinating on its own. They behave sort of like solar systems should. A big central stone with smaller ones orbiting out at a semi-static distance, like planets and moons and asteroids but on a very different scale. Each one of those systems then further orbits a central point all its own.” A wondering look passed over her features. “This whole place is just a ballroom for dozens of these spinning terrestrial bodies to dance with each other, spinning and whirling forever.” Twilight shook her head. “Sorry, I read a few of Rarity's sappy novels and I think they're rubbing off on me.”

“I get that. So what do you need from me?”

“I have a flight plan for the ship that will let me track more systems and get a better handle on how this place moves.” She floated a coil of parchment over to him. “I need you to give it to Topsail and convince him to follow it.”

Raj scowled. “Any reason you can't do that?”

“Topsail is rude and mean.” she said bluntly.

“Fair enough. I'm on it.” He pocketed the scroll and headed back to the curving ladder and began the long, slow descent back to the deck. Only once his foot set on the cable housing connecting the hull to the bag and swung around it did he finally start to breath easily comfortably.

He looked across the swinging deck to see Topsail at the wheel, Rainbow Dash floating next to him and Fluttershy next to her. As he got near, he was able to make out their yelling.

“Make the ship go faster!” Screamed Rainbow Dash. “They're getting away!”

Topsail sneered at her “The ship's going as fast as it's going to go ya bint, now quit squawking and take a seat.”

“What's going on?” Raj asked Fluttershy quietly.

“Rainbow saw a ship while she was out flying. She's trying to get us to go to it.” She answered back quietly. “Well, go to it faster at least.”

“Raj, back me up here. This guy is saying it's going to take almost an hour to reach the ship I saw.”

“That's cause it will. There's a layer of blasted floating rocks to navigate around.”

“Are you kidding me? I was able to get there and back in a minute, this thing can't do it any faster? If we don't hurry, then the boat won't be there any more.” She shot back.

“This big jag of a boat ain't as maneuverable as a lone pegasus with a flying talent stamped on her butt.” He said bluntly.

“Rainbow, if Topsail says the ship can't do it, then the ship can't do it.” Raj said.

“The ship can totally do it, he just won't push the stupid lever forward.” She reached for the throttle to the ship.

Topsail's baton was in his mouth and swinging before anyone present even realized it. The knobbed head cracked off the decking and Rainbow let out a sharp bark of surprise. Topsail growled around the grip “If you ever reach for the mechanisms of this ship again, you sputtering quim, and I'll truss yer wings to the mains!”

Rainbow's expression shifted to anger “What's the big idea you jerk?”

“Me idea, is that I don't want the damn ship wrecked!” He spat out his baton and gestured to the looming face of rock of the port side. “You see that sponged up rock over there?”

“Yeah, so?”

Topsail kicked up his crossbow and fired it blindly at an angle, the bolt soaring out towards the distant rock. After a moment, the mountain's surface came alive with squirms of massive, writhing monstrocities, jagged scissor jaws chomping at the air dumbly, searching for any intruders in their domain.

“What in the actual hell are those things?” Raj screamed, suddenly alarmed.

“Oh my goodness!” Fluttershy yelped. “Are those Quarray Eels?”

“That they are miss. Hunnerds of 'em by the looks of it. Spotted their boreholes against the rock face hours ago.” Topsail shouted.

Rainbow Dash slapped her head with a hoof. “They're huge!”

“True as well. Reckon those holes would be big enough to drive a train into, which meant they'd have pretty far reach. Decided to mind their territory, so I needed to made a wider turn, which meant slowing down or we'd overshoot our window 'tween the two mountains.” He grabbed the wheel again and arced the ship. “It's adding a good twenty minutes to the route, but respect is elder to convenience.”

“Yeah, and if we got close, those things would eat us.” Raj agreed.

“Survival is also elder to convenience.” He cranked the wheel and the whole ship slewed to the side. “Now then, please leave me be while I go about navigating the sea of floating mountains. If'n I need a gaggle of vexing waterheads to frustrate me to tears, I'll be sure to alert ya.”

Rainbow clearly had something to say about that, but she was drawn away by both her friends as she grumbled fruitlessly. “That guy's a jerk.”

“Maybe, but he's also the only one who can pilot the ship well enough to get us through this place. Please don't annoy him?” Raj asked as sweetly as he could.

Rainbow grumbled something that could have been agreement and trotted to where Applejack was coiling rope to vent her frustrations as Raj and Fluttershy ventured below decks to inform the others.

* * *

“It had, like, a pointy bit on the end.” Rainbow Dash gestured from her nose. “Like, a long sharp thing.”

“Off of the deck or the bag?” Rarity asked.

“The floating thing, on the top.”

“That would be the bag darling.”

“Yeah that's it, and it had a bunch of fins, like our ship.”

“You mean the sails. Were they forward swept, or rearward swept?”

Rainbow cocked her head. “Swept? They're not brooms Rarity.”

“Oh goodness Rainbow, whatever am I going to do with you.” Rarity asked herself, shaking her head.

Raj leaned against the deck railing, looking down the see the overgrown top of a floating stone. “You know, we're going to see the ship here in a minute right?”

“I know Rajrishi darling, I am merely building the anticipation some.” Rarity explained.

“Eh, it's probably just a griffin air-sloop. Their navy patrols around here sometimes.” Pinkie said evenly.

Everyone present turned to stare at her for a flat moment before she noticed and shrugged. “What? I read sometimes.”

“Sir!” Shouted one of the watchponies leaning over the rail. “I got it.” He gestured with a hoof.

“Ooh!” Rarity squealed and floated a telescope up to her eye. “I wonder what it-” she cut off and flatly finished. “What in the blazes is that beast?”

Raj grabbed the spyglass and looked to where they were pointing. The foreign ship was perhaps a quarter the size of the Break of Day, with a downward arched hull and a bag painted red that bulged with interior bracings. The sails actively kicked at the air, paddling it for greater maneuverability and speed.

“It's hideous!” shrieked Rarity. “That hull has been patched so badly and those sails are so garish. Who would make something so... vulgar?”

“I'm more concerned about what's on it Rarity.” Raj said quietly. “Topsail, what's the word?”

“Air-Junk, off port, seven hundred meters and closing.” He shouted to everyone who could hear. “Run up the diplomacy flag and get to battlestations.”

Fluttershy cocked her head. “Those seem... contradictory.”

“Yeah they do.” Raj paused and turned his attention. “Ship Master?”

“Ready to fight, but prefer to talk. Now all ye, get below deck. Yer in the way.” Topsail shot back as the crew started to scramble to positions.

Raj started to comply but was interrupted by a distant roar. He turned his head in time to see an arcing ball of magenta strike the underside of the bag and explode, dousing the deck in a spray of hissing spell-sparks.

The reaction among the crew was immediate. Before, they were moving to positions with casual ease. Now they moved with the speed of a well maintained machine, sprinting pegasi coming within inches of crashing into one another as they hurried to their posts. Topsail started bellowing orders, his voice cutting over the tumult to issue orders. They ship yawed powerfully, evading as best it could while simultaneously jockeying for position.

The civilians on the deck did not react with similar discipline. Pinkie simply started screaming and flailing at the air while Rainbow Dash reacted with bravado, flying up to hurrying pegasi and demanding to know what she could do to help and generally making a nuisance of herself. Least disruptive was Fluttershy, as she just went stock still and fell to the side, rigid as a mannequine. The only helpful reaction was Applejack as she dragged Rarity and Spike into cover, holding them tight as they squirmed in her grip.

Rajrishi lost his footing as the ship rolled and collapsed against the cable housing and clung to it, eyes not really focused on anything. Another pair of cracks sounded and two more balls of burning color lanced in at the ship, one sailing through the gap between the hull and the bag and the other striking the deck to his right, blowing a sizable hole through the gunwale. Within moments, pegasi were on the scene and dousing the chromatic flames before they could spread.

“Portside, skyward angle! Fire!” Screamed Topsail and lances of multi-colored fire erupted out of the side of the Break of Day in a staccato rhythm. Burning balls of arcane light flew towards the hostile ship, at least half actually striking. The hull of the ship bloomed into layers of multi-colored fire, smoking sparks arcing off it like fireworks. Raj had seen the crews fire the arcantrik cannons before when they were drilling during the trip, but seeing their shots burst against the hull of an actual target snapped him back to the moment.

Raj bolted up and grabbed Rainbow Dash by the tail, hauling her away from the crewpony she was hassling and dragged her over to Applejack's hiding place. “Stay here.” He shouted before making his way to Fluttershy's still form and carrying her over to the others and then going back for Pinkie Pie. He crouched down where they were huddled and yelled “Come on, we're getting below.”

He'd taken just one step before the whole ship shuddered, a wave of smoke washing off the stern. He staggered and stood up. “The hell was that?”

“Two more!” shouted Topsail. “Rear and Starboard-Rear, forty meters! Fire crews to steerage, double time!”

The crewponies started to react but were startled out of their duties when the door to the cabins flung open and the canterlot royal voice cut through the tumult “WHAT IN THE NAME OF FAUST IS GOING ON UP-” her shouted question was cut off when the first Junk, its entire hull wrapped in blue, magenta, orange, and green flames, fired its forward cannon and struck the Princess of the Night directly.

The shell detonated and blew a flaming hole in boards as well as blinding anyone looking at it, which was essentially everyone as Luna had drawn attention to herself. Raj staggered to the side of the ship somewhat drunkenly and peered over it to see a smoking projectile slide down the face of a canyon far below.

The confusion and listlessness Raj felt a moment ago disappeared in a wave of purpose and he shouted “Rainbow, go see to Luna.” The Pegasus in question vanished over the side, angling down towards her fallen Princess. “Pinkie, Fluttershy, go find some medical supplies. Rarity and Spike, go help with the fire.” The four of them disappeared below deck.

“Ah don't think RD can carry the Princess by herself.” Applejack yelled as she struggled for balance.

“I'll get Twilight to-” He paused, “Wait, where's...” He trailed off and angled his gaze up. “Oh you have got to be kidding me.” Snarling, he grabbed the suspension cable and started scrambling up it. “Wait there!” He shouted over his shoulder at the farmer pony.

The ascent was oddly easier while under duress, the rolling and shaking of a ship in the midst of combat not nearly as disruptive as his own fear. In almost no time at all he was cresting the curve of the bag and running towards the crow's nest.

There sat Twilight Sparkle, obliviously reading a tome as a battle raged around her. She didn't notice his presence until he snapped the book in front of her shut.

“Gah! Raj? What gives?” she snapped.

“We are in a battle you barmy nerd!” Raj shouted.

“What are you talking-” Raj grabbed her head and manually turned her gaze off of port to see the burning hulk of the first Junk, rising up on columns of it's own heat, bursts of sparks shooting out as the cells of lighter than air gas in the bag heated up and popped. Twilight's pupils went wide enough to stick a finger through and she flatly said. “Oh.”

“Luna fell off the ship. You need to bring her back. Applejack will tell you where.” Raj hurriedly ordered.

“Okay.” Her notes folded themselves and flew into her bag. “Are there more Junks?”

“Two more, in the rear. Real close." He pointed with a thumb as she ship rolled again.

Twilight turned around but wasn't able to see them. “Rear? But we don't have any cannons back there.”

“I trust Topsail.” The moment he said that, the bag tilted noticeably and remained that way, continuing forward at a twisted angle. “What the hell?”

“One of the cables snapped.” Twilight answered. “The ship's weight isn't sitting correctly. Rajrishi, if two more of those go, the ship will crash!”

“Shit. Shit! Alright.” Raj let out a shuddering breath and shook his head, steadying himself. “Twilight, get me onto that ship.”

She gasped. “Raj, no. No, no, no.”

“We've had this conversation. It works in theory.”

“Lots of things work in theory! Ideal gas laws work in theory! This is beyond theory, we have no idea how your arcane resistance will affect a stable teleport. It might kill you, you might just disappear. The chances of you coming out of it in any condition to do anything are just... unacceptable.”

The bag shuddered as another cannon hit it. “Running out of options here Twi!”

“I know!” She shouted back. “Just, sit still. I'll get you there.”

The ground shook again and Raj was worried they'd taken another hit. Then the platform bucked up and a panel of the crow's nest tore free of it's mountings. Twilight smirked up at him. “Magic on you may be hard, but magic on the thing you're standing on is easy. Now hold on!” She flung her head forward and launched the platform towards the rear of the ship.

Raj held on for dear life, terror giving him strength. The bag of the ship fell away and for a single bowel-loosening instant he was floating over naked air. The platform he rode on angled down and he felt himself lift off of it like he was in a rollercoaster un-belted. He leveled out at the height of the Junk's deck and staggered for his footing. The platform hit something Twilight couldn't see and went into a tumble, Raj with it. He hit the deck once, bounced, landed in a roll the second time and came up into a punch against the first living thing he saw.

That thing ended up being a very surprised goat. The creature let out a startled bleat and flew off the side of the ship. Something big next to Raj reached for a rack of spears but his adrenaline fueled nerves were faster and he chopped at it, unsheathing and attacking in the same motion. The sharp metal passed through the creature's limb effortlessly and it fell to the deck, rolling and moaning. Raj noted that it looked like a bulkier bull, its fur a rusty brown.

A cry of alarm went up along the ship, goats and a few more of the big bulls marshaling against him, spears and cudgels held in their hooves and mouths. The goats looked around nervously, clearly not ready for the development of a one man boarding party. The bulls, on the other hand, hoofed at the ground excitedly and grinned, showing broad, flat teeth.

Something jumped off the rear-deck and soared over the assembled crew. Rising to full height, Raj took the thing in and gasped.

About six feet tall, it had the overall shape of a man, two arm, two legs, and an upright posture. Instead of a human head though, it had the snarling face of a tiger with bulging, black eyes. It held a golden scimitar in one of its rearward facing hands and flexed ringed and jeweled fingers tipped with arched claws on the other. It bounced on padded feet, shoulders back and projecting confidence.

Cocking its head, the Rakshasa said in Hindi. “What in the name of the Asura are you?”

“Screwed apparently.” Raj answered back.

Buckling the Swash

“Run that cable to the housing! Ratchet it down you sods!” Topsail shouted at his crew, voice booming. The pegasi in question were wrangling the broken cord that attached the bag to the ship, attempting to feed the torn ends into a ratchet box to re-connect them temporarily. Ordinarily a difficult task made even worse by the battle raging around them.

The third junk skewed itself hard, angling its front cannons on the Break of Day and fired again. They were so close, Topsail didn't even have the time to call for a brace before they hit. One round struck the hull square and burst into a cloud of cyan sparks. The other hit the deck obliquely and skipped off, sliding to a halt on the reardeck and spinning like a rampant firework. Topsail swore and dove at it, crudely kicking the spell off the deck before the fuse triggered and blew another hole in the ship. The bomb fell below the ship and detonated against a mountain face. Topsail nodded grimly and stalwartly ignored the terrible burn on his leg from hitting the thing as he resumed evasive maneuvers.

A flash of light came to his left and he jumped, reaching for his crossbow. Twilight Sparkle reached out a hoof and shouted. “Topsail, it's me!”

“Get down.” The Pegasus gruffly ordered as he pushed her to the deck. Not a second after another pair of blasts rocketed from the third junk, splashing fire against the starboard-rear of the Break of Day. “They've been shooting every forty seconds like clockwork. Gun crews on those things are unreal.”

“R-right. Thanks.” She stuttered back, soft tone lost to the tumult of the fight.

“Captain still climbing down?”

Twilight shook her head. “No, he boarded the Junk directly aft of us.”

“Hmph.” Topsail grunted, seemingly unperturbed by the news. “That explains why that one stopped shooting.” He shoved her into cover. “Stay here and stay low.”

Twilight did no such thing and bolted towards the rear of the ship. Topsail shouted after her but was forced to turn back to the wheel to guide the ship. Twilight slewed to the side as the ship rolled but managed to keep her hoofing. She slid to a halt next to the crawling blaze of color that was engulfing the back of the ship.

Rarity telekinetically flung a bucket of sand onto the fire and dipped it back into the barrel to reload. She turned to her friend and shouted “Twilight, are you alright dear?”

“I'm fine. Where's Spike?”

“Helping with the fire.” Rarity pointed into the blaze and Twilight squinted to make out the small silhouette of the baby dragon standing at the edge of the inferno. An instinctive trill of panic tore through her and she reached out to him for a moment before remembering his draconic immunity to heat. As she watched, Spike inhaled hard and funneled great plumes of the blaze into his mouth, clearing away a great swath of the chromatic flames.

She dumped another bucket of sand on to the flames and shouted. “Help Twilight! If we get this fire under control, the crew can shoot back with the deck cannons.”

Twilight called forth a forcefield dome and locked it over a section of the burning deck, smothering the fire down. Between the three of them and the rest of the crew, progress was being made at fighting back the blaze.

The air shook as the Junk's cannons roared again, streaks of fire flying towards the same spot they'd been hammering. Rarity let out a sharp yelp and dove into cover alongside most of the crew.

Twilight saw the shots, focused, and let out a cry of effort as she conjured up a triangular moment field the size of a sail. One of the arcantrik rounds bounced off the surface, skewing towards the ground far below. The other burst against the field, filling the air with multi-colored sparks and tongues of fire.

Twilight panted and swayed on her hooves. “Not... not bad.”

The crew hastily returned to clearing fire off the deck, making rapid progress without two more rounds adding to the blaze. After a few seconds, a squad of sailors lifted an enormous, mechanical thing from the bowels of the ship, a thick hose trailing back down into the vessel. They dragged it to a section of deck that had been aflame moments ago and spiked it to the floor. One of the crewponies kicked a lever and the whole thing sprang up on a swiveling armature. They pivoted the weapon, locked it in place, and lowered the wand to the firing rune. Twilight hastily laid a forcefield over her, Rarity's, and Spike's ears but she still felt the cannon's basso report shake her bones and vibrate her coat. A lance of fire trailed towards one of the Junks and exploded against the hull in a burst of color, flinders of burning debris flying off it in smoking arcs.

Before the noise had finished echoing off the mountains, the crew had already spun the cannon around and were stuffing reagents down the barrel for another shot. Further back, a pair of sailors ran channeling cables up for another pair of cannons the rest of the crew were struggling to get up the steps.

Twilight looked out at the Junk trailing behind the Break of Day, flurries of movement visible on the deck but it was impossible to make out any detail at such a distance. She bit her lip, and hoped that Raj was okay.

* * *

Raj was not having an easy time of it.

He jumped up, rolling over a charging bull as it tried to bear down on him. He hit the ground and pivoted into a downward swing, both his axes sinking into an unlucky goat holding a gaffe hook in its mouth. No sooner had that one hit the ground than another goat rushed at him, a spear loaded into a holster at his side. He swayed around the speartip but was unprepared for when the goat butted him in the hip with all of its momentum. He took the hit and toppled onto his back.

The huge bull turned around and reared up, intent on bringing all of weight down on him. Panicking, Raj brought his hands up to defend himself and swore as he caught the beast's hooves in his palms, his strength keeping the giant cow from crushing his chest. The bull bellowed something and staggered forward, pressing more of its weight onto him. The goat with the spear bleated and bounced around, clearly wary of getting so close to the bull's bucking head.

Straining, Raj adjusted his grip on the bull's hooves and brought them down to sides of his hips, giving himself a faceful of musky chest. With a disgusted grunt, he curled his legs up, planted his feet on the thing, and exploded upwards, the deckboards beneath him sagging from the force of it.

The bull went flying, bellowing a cry of surprise. Raj rolled, came up in a crouch, and sprang towards the goat that was staring after the airborne bovine. The creature let out a brief bleat of surprise as Raj's fist struck it in the neck and it collapsed, head twisted on a broken spine. An instant later, the bull hit the deck with a resounding crash, the whole foredeck rattling with the power of it.

Further down the ship, what was left of the crew stepped back hesitantly, fear painting their faces. Nine of them had fallen to the boarder so far, counting the recent bull and two goats. Any outrage they felt about having their ship invaded was washed out by a healthy dose of visceral terror at seeing so many of their comrades cut down.

The Rakshasa, however, hadn't moved an inch. The thing's only movement was a rhythmic drumming of its twisted fingers against the grip of the scimitar. Its eyes hadn't left Raj for an instant since he'd landed on the ship, it just stared with unnerving intensity.

One of the goats hopped up on a barrel and shouldered a bulky crossbow, every part of it exaggerated in size to compensate for a wielder's lack of fingers. Raj went into a dive but still felt a hot line of agony flare up along his hip as he took a graze. He ignored the hit and rolled, coming up with a discarded spear. He cocked his arm back and launched it forward at the reloading goat that wasn't even aware of the projectile flying at it.

There was a blur of gold and a shattering clang that stung Raj's ears. The broken bits of the speartip clattered to the deck, the targeted goat bleating in surprise at the sudden rescue. The Rakshasa rolled the scimitar in its hands, snarling something incoherent at the crew who then cowered towards the rear of the ship.

Raj took a tentative step back. He wasn't throwing at a goat that was anywhere near the thing, but it had still blocked it. Somehow, the Rakshasa had covered the width of the deck in the time it took for him to roll and throw the spear.

“I admit to being intrigued.” Snarled the Rakshasa, startling him with its suddenness. The words came out slightly muffled, like they didn't fit the creature's mouth. “I'm curious about any creature that could diminish my numbers by itself.”

“Finally ready to deal with me yourself?” Raj taunted as he retrieved his axes and backed up, hoping the reprieve would let him catch his breath. His boarding had already been a success; the Junk had stopped firing once he was aboard, giving the Break of Day the chance to rally and fire back at the only remaining vessel that was threatening them. Now, he just had to find some way to get off the boat.

“I can hardly afford to lose any more crew if I'm to keep to the air.” The creature purred. “Though I have to wonder what a beast like you is doing on an Equestrian skyship in the first place. Are they you're slaves? Did you have your dirt ponies make those axes for you?”

Raj sneered in disgust. “No.”

“Pity. What then?”

“We're here on a survey mission.” He threw out fast.

“A lie. Try again.” The thing said flatly.

“We're searching for a downed craft.” He said back equally flat.

“Another lie.”

“Well that's all your getting out of me.”

“Yet another lie.” And then the thing was upon him, brilliant golden scimitar flashing and striking.

The initial melee was fierce, at least two ringing impacts every second as scimitar met ax. The Rakshasa struck rapidly, using the longer reach of his sword to strike Raj at a range he couldn't engage at, trying to wear him down. Raj kept his axes close and defensive, trying to get a feel for the cat-headed monster.

After a minute of this treatment, the Rakshasa swept its weapons sideways but Raj stopped it on the haft of his weapon. The creature cocked its wrist and stepped forward, gliding the flat of its blade along the Apple Ax in a curving thrust. Raj ducked to avoid it but took a glancing hit on the forehead, tearing a narrow line through his eyebrow. He cried out and swung wildly at the thing, trying to ward it back. The Rakshasa hopped back agilely and laughed.

Raj brushed blood off of his face and sneered. Not enough time had passed for bloodloss to be much of a factor, but that's all it would take; time. Within minutes his eye would be useless and he'd be woozy, which meant he'd be dead.

With that in mind, he charged at the creature in a stoop. At the last moment he sprang up and kicked off the wall, coming at the thing along its side with a brutal cross chop. The Rakshasa positioned its sword to block both strikes and grunted from the force of the hit, their blades locking together. Shouting wordlessly, he pushed forward, driving the monster against the wall of the foredeck. Its back hit the wall and Raj wrestled the things arms up and over its head. He pinned the thing to the boards by its wrists with one hand and drew a single ax back to strike.

Then, the creature's form rippled, warped and all of a sudden he was clinching with a fifteen foot crocodile.

Understandably surprised, he was not ready for the now reptilian beast to undulate and sweep its scaled tail under his feet to knock him to the deck. The giant lizard landed and twisted around lightning quick, snapping its jaws at him. Raj rolled away shrieking terror as the crocodile chased after, snapping and growling.

Raj's back hit a wall and he could retreat no more. The crocodile lunged at his leg with terrifying speed. He pulled back but the thing still caught the bare edge of his thigh and tore into him. Screaming rage, Raj grabbed forward and clamped his hand down on the thing's snout, holding its shut with a small bit of his own meat inside. The thing writhed and clawed backwards, dragging Raj along.

They slid past one of his discarded axes and he snatched the thing up. He managed to get his feet underneath him and hauled on the thing, lifting its front off the deck. Before it could writhe free, his ax flashed in and cleaved through its face, taking nearly a foot off both it top and bottom jaws. It hit the deck with a meaty thud, a welter of black spraying from its face.

Before he could even feel a moment of triumph, the thing rippled and shimmered again and a silverback gorilla had punched him in the stomach.

Raj felt himself lift clear off the deck and crash into the midship pylon. He tried to groan in pain but was unable to find the air, so he settled for staggering on the ground breathlessly for a moment. By the time he'd gotten to his feet, the Rakshasa had shapeshifted again.

It had transformed back into a shape similar to a man's and recovered its sword, but it no longer wore the head of a tiger. Instead, it had a black furred gorilla head, though the eyes still bulged out madly. It idly flipped his disarmed Apple Ax, testing its weight and balance. “I think you weren't telling the truth before.” It droned, voice completely unchanged despite the different head. “This ax reeks of dirt pony craft.”

Raj tried to say something in reply, but all that came out was a coughing wheeze.

The Rakshasa shrugged and muttered “Eloquent.” It then flipped the ax one last time and hurled it at Raj's head.

Scowling, Raj swayed to the side and reached up, plucking the Apple Ax out of the air. He stumbled, leaned into it, and broke into a loping run at the Rakshasa. The Rakshasa laughed and flourished its scimitar, grinning with sharp teeth.

Raj vaulted off the railing of the ship and came down at the thing with a two-fisted swing. The Rakshasa shuffled out of the way and whipped its blade at the back of his neck. Raj caught it on the head of his ax and stepped into a rising chop aimed at the thing's groin. The Rakshasa narrowly swiveled out of the way and hooked at leg behind his before driving a wrong-facing gorilla palm into his throat. He sputtered and sprawled when the thing hooked its leg back and killed his balance.

His newly reclaimed breath whooshed out of him as Raj hit the deck flat on his back. Grunting with effort, he pulled his legs up and rolled back away from the thing. As soon as his feet hit the deck he sprang forward, hoping to catch the Rakshasa by surprise with the aggressive move.

It did not work, and the thing sidestepped his mad lunge with almost casual ease. As Raj sailed by, the thing lifted its sword up and brought the jeweled pommel down directly on the small of his back. Raj let out a sharp cry and hit the deck limply, sliding a few feet before groaning weakly.

Grinning still, the Rakshasa stalked over to him and reached down, grabbing him by the back of the head with its over-sized ape hand. Raj was lifted bodily off the ground until he was resting on his knees, still too dazed to move, his barely open eyes swimming listlessly. The Rakshasa growled out “Now, let's see what you're hiding Captain.”

The Rakshasa threw its head back and Raj's eyes suddenly went electric, his whole body tensing powerfully as something painfully invasive happened to him. It felt like television static, the thrum of a subwoofer, and a screaming baby were pounding along every wavelength he could hear while a million tiny ants marched along every synapse in his brain. He pictured, no, saw a mad cascade of images flicker past his eyes. It was like every frame of a movie had been switched with another one, resulting in an incoherent smear of sight tearing past his eyes.

When he came out of it a scream was still bubbling out of him, his voice hoarse from it though he felt like no time had passed. The Rakshasa's hand let him go and he wobbled on his knees, everything blurry and formless. The Rakshasa laughed, “Well, that's quite useful. Goodbye my friend.” It raised the scimitar, ready to impale him through the back.

A whine like a bullet sounded for an instant before two blue hooves crashed into the Rakshasa's ape-face. There was a terrible crunch of shattering bone and the Rakshasa went flying over the side of the ship.

The Break of Day loomed along the side of the Junk, the smaller ship looking like a toy so close to the massive dreadnought. A line of crewponies with crossbows bristled along the side, taking aim at the scrambling goats and bulls. Even over the distance and roar of the engine, Raj could hear Topsail bellow out “First rank, fire!”

“Get down!” shouted Rainbow Dash as she tackled Raj to the deck and into cover. Razor sharp quarrels thudded into the deck and crew, shattering any discipline or resolve they managed to muster. After the volley was over, she grabbed him by the head and shouted. “Raj, Raj! Are you in there? Can you walk?”

“Blue... horse?” He muttered dumbly, pawing uselessly at her face.

“Okay, you're out of it. Applejack!” When she yelled, the mare in question popped over the railing of the airship with a hook and a long coil of rope. She gave the rope a spin for a second and launched it, easily clearing the distance to the Junk. AJ whooped and managed the rope, not pulling too tight or letting out enough slack that would drag it off the boat.

Rainbow Dash grabbed Raj by the hand and hauled him up to his feet, grunting with strain. “Alright big guy, lets go. Time to leave, on your feet.”

A warbling chirp drew her attention to the other side of the Junk. Perched on the railing was an enormous, golden-brown bird, easily as tall as she was. It cawed again and flared its wings before hopping to the deck.

Rainbow was about to turn her attention away when the form of the thing flickered and there was suddenly a massive gorilla charging at her, screaming at the top of its lungs. Rainbow let out a startled scream and tried to push Raj towards the hook faster.

“Second rank, fire!” shouted Topsail and every single loaded bow on the Break of Day unloaded on the gorilla. It stumbled at the bolts burrowed into it, some sinking all the way to fletching where they hit a soft spot. The transformed Rakshasa hit the ground and rolled, clutching at the bolts impaling it.

Rainbow gave up on moving Raj to the hook and decided to move the hook to Raj. She rushed over to it, grabbed it in her mouth, and looped it around Raj as fast as she could. She hooked the rope on itself and suddenly Raj was yanked over the deck and swung under the Break of Day.

Looking below himself and seeing nothing but half a mile of air and then jagged stone terrified him back to reality and he clutched at the rope, swearing and sputtering. He cried out pitifully, his head swimming and guts churning. Above him, the cannon doors of the Break of Day hinged open and nearly a score of cannons readied to fire. Across the gap, a blue figure zipped back to the Break of Day as the Junk listed to try to elevate out of the arc of fire.

“Captain!” he heard a voice slur. “Captain Rajrishi!” he cracked one eye open and saw the Rakshasa standing at the deck, one half its face slack and a pair of crossbow bolts still protruding from its torso. It yanked one free and tossed it over the deck before shouting. “My name is Bakasura, Son of the Asura. Remember it while I take your skin!”

An instant later, a dozen and a half lances of fire crashed into the Junk, covering it in a wild inferno of color. The boat groaned and drooped, the gas cells in the bag heating up and cooking off like popcorn before it crashed into the mountainside. The impact breached the arcantrik engine and set off an explosion of colorless flame and whistling pops that made Raj skin ripple and his bones shake.

After that, Raj's nervous system decided that was enough stimulus for the day and he passed out, dangling beneath the ship like a puppet with just one string.

Old, Old Grudges

The doors to the maproom opened and a pair of sailors held them in place. Another one pushed a cargo dolly into the room that was loaded with a lump of soot in the shape of a pony. The thing squirmed and coughed once before rasping in Luna's voice. “Report.”

Topsail cleared his throat and said “Three vessels engaged us at once from port and rear, opening fire with no parley. We returned fire and were able to destroy all three ships in good order.”

“Damage to the ship?”

“Non impacting damage to the port side of the bag. Damage to five float cells we're already working to fix. Cable lock took a hit but that's why we carry spares. The hull soaked some direct shots but most of the damage was focused on the rear. Fire's been put out but there was structural damage we're still trying to assess.”

“Casualties?”

“Three dead. Engineer Flakes fell overboard trying to get away from the fire, I have a team searching the valley for his remains. Crewpony Ripples was crushed by unsecured cargo when we lost the cable and armspony Surf succumbed to fire. We've got dozens injured, but the medics tell me that none of them are life threatening.”

“And yourself?”

Topsail looked down at his bandage wrapped foreleg he kept curled to his chest. “Just a burn ma'am. Nothing to fret over.”

She seemed to study him for a moment before saying. “Very well. What of the rest of you?” She said looking out at the others collected in the room.

Applejack volunteered to speak and stepped forward. “Well, most've us are fine Princess, just a few bumps and scrapes from the ship rolling around. The only thing that needed doctorin' was Pinkie. Some o' the smoke got to her.”

Pinkie removed her oxygen mask and coughed lightly. “I saw Spike sucking up all the fire and I thought I could try it too.”

Fluttershy gave her an off look and said. “Um, Pinkie, Spike's a dragon. I think that's why he can do that.”

Pinkie rolled her eyes. “Well duh, I know that now Flutter-Butter.”

“And other than that, the only one that got any hurt on him was Raj.” Applejack looked to the human slumped in the corner.

“As usual it seems.” Raj said bitterly before wincing in pain.

Rarity finished hooking her needle through the cut on his hip. She pulled away and worried. “Oh, I'm sorry darling. Did that hurt?”

“Everything hurts Rarity. Don't worry about it.” He said back, trying to focus through the omnipresent ache.

“Thou are not permitted to complain of pain in our presence Captain.” rasped Luna. She shifted and more ashes drifted from her form.

“Yes Princess Luna.” He wisely conceded.

“Were we able to identify those that attacked us?”

“Ships were crewed by goats and these big bulls. Real aggressive and violent.” Raj explained.

“Watchponies can confirm that as well Princess.” Topsail confirmed.

“Those were probably Aurochs. They're distant relatives to Minotaurs, but they eat meat. They're really rare outside of Camellu.” Fluttershy explained.

“And what about the goats?” Raj asked.

“They're... goats, I guess?” Fluttershy shrugged before shying back a bit.

“Oh... alright, moving on. The boat I invaded had something else on it though. Unless I miss my guess, it was a Rakshasa.”

The room went quiet and Applejack sprang to her hooves, anger knitting her brow. Luna sucked in a breath, her whole body going rigid. “A son of the Asura? Are you certain?”

“Bipedal form and it could shapeshift. Pretty much exactly what your big book said. I'm sure. Called himself Bakasura.” Rajrishi nodded.

“Bakasura, still alive after all this time.” Luna said quietly.

“Did yah kill it?” Applejack asked, a good amount of anger in her voice.

Raj thought for a moment before shaking his head. “I hurt it, but I don't think I killed it.”

Applejack spat on the floor. “Shame that.”

Fluttershy gasped. “Applejack!”

She shook her head and yelled “Ah mean it too. Them things deserve that 'n worse!”

Rainbow flapped to the center of the room and held up a hoof. “Hey, maybe everypony who isn't a huge history nerd or wasn't actually there for most of history, somepony should explain what a Rakshasa is?”

“Thank you Rainbow, that would be quite helpful.” Rarity said without looking up from her stitching.

Luna settled back into her seat and coughed out a burst of soot. “Of course, we forgot ourselves. Apologies. Rakshasa are trueborn Titanspawn like myself, direct expressions of Titanic power. They are gifted with eternal life and a malicious hunger and intellect. They are cunning beasts with no compunctions about harming other beings. During the Forming Wars, they acted as spies and saboteurs for their demonic patron.”

Rainbow's eyebrows went up her head. “Wow, and I kicked one in the face.”

“I hit him with an ax.” Raj pointed out, a touch indignant.

She waved a hoof. “Yeah, but you do that all the time. I kicked one, in the face.”

Luna continued. “Like most Titanspawn, they have powerful magic woven into their nature. Theirs is the art of shifting, to better infiltrate the dens of their enemies. Each Rakshasa possesses ten forms, counting their bipedal, hybrid form.”

“How do you know they have ten?” Pinkie asked.

“Because when we fought them during the Forming Wars, we had to kill them ten times before they truly died.” Luna said flatly.

“Oh...” Pinkie said quietly, immediately regretting the question.

“Wait, their different shapes can die?” Raj asked.

“Indeed. When not worn, their forms recover very rapidly, even from death. Only when they are out of guises to assume does death claim them.”

“So the crocodile I chopped up and the gorilla that was shot are going to be fine. God, between the Bandersnatch and this guy I'm starting to think that all Trueborn Titanspawn are bullshit.”

Rainbow hid her snicker as Luna scowled as much as her burnt eyelids would allow before saying. “Grousing about unfairness aside, what is this creature doing in this place?”

“Piracy ma'am, sure of it.” Topsail spouted immediately.

“Pirates way out here?” Twilight questioned. “Unlikely.”

“Yeah, I mean, who would they be... pirate-ing on?” Spike asked. “They must be looking for Jolly Roger's ship too!”

“Now that's unlikely.” Topsail said sharply. “If that boat's real, then why in Tartarus would this thing be looking for it at the same time we are? Bakasura's had dozens of centuries to look for it, and he decides to go the same week we are? This Rakshasa and his band are probably preying on Griffin airships. That'd explain why we haven't run into any Griffish patrols since getting here.”

“If that is the case, then we must assume that they possess other ships in the area. We must also assume that this Rakshasa escaped the doom of his vessel. Therefore, we are ordering the crew of the Break of Day to remain at combat readiness at all times.”

Topsail huffed. “Yes ma'am. I'll make sure we're at full shifts on our way out of this floating nightmare.”

Everyone looked at Topsail sharply but Rarity was the first to open her mouth. “What? We're leaving? But we just got here!”

“Yeah, we did, and we were attacked by an ancient demon and his merry band of maniacs. We aren't outfitted for a long term combat patrol. The only reason we even have a full load of cannons is cause I always assume something's gonna go hooves up.” He let out an annoyed grunt. “I have yet to be wrong on that.”

Muted chatter sprouted up amid the assembled ponies for a minute before Luna cut above the sound. “Shipmaster, as much as we appreciate your discretion, we cannot turn back yet. There is a task in the Shattered Lands we need to finish.”

“Good thing you don't have a say in the matter Princess.” Topsail shrugged. “I have a royal writ naming me as the one responsible for this ship and the ponies on board. This was supposed to be an exploration expedition, not a seek and destroy mission. We don't have the equipment, armaments, or the right crew for something like that and I am not going to force it on anyone who didn't sign up for it. We are turning around, no question.”

Luna stood up, the ash covering her body cracking to reveal raw, purple muscle underneath. “Shipmaster, hast thou forgotten that we are one of the ponies that signed such a document?” She said with just enough of a warning tone that everyone else in the room went absolutely quiet.

Topsail didn't even blink. “I haven't. But you're just one of the Princesses that signed that little piece of parchment. So unless you have Princess Celestia tucked in your back pocket, I don't have to listen to anypony.”

Luna's sides burst open as the ragged skeleton of her wings flared wide. She rose up to her full height and shot a glare full of nothing but murder at Topsail. “How dare you speak to us like-”

“Topsail's right.”

Luna's head whipped around towards Raj, that evil look settling on him. Raj did not weather it as well as Topsail though, and was left squirming in his seat. Speaking slowly and clipped, Luna asked. “Excuse us, Captain?”

Despite being soundly intimidated, Raj managed to speak with some degree of confidence. “L-look, if Topsail says we don't have the supplies for this kind of engagement, I'm of a mind we should trust him. Jolly Roger's ship will still be there when we can muster more resources and come back.”

“Need I remind you that this entire expedition is to find your method of returning home Captain?” Luna pointed out, a harsh grate to her voice.

“Which is why I don't want it screwed up. Those three Junks could have sunk us and as it stands we couldn't handle a fight like that again. We don't know how many this Rakshasa might have or what he wants. Right now, it's too dangerous to proceed, so we shouldn't.” Raj put a hand on his chest. “Trust me, I want to find out if this thing is real more than any of you, but it won't do anyone any good if we die finding it.”

Everypony present looked thoughtful for a moment, thinking about what had been said so far. Luna sighed and shook off another layer of soot. “We are too tired to refute the point. Shipmaster, turn us around, return to Canterlot with all speed.”

Applejack spat again and sneered. “Y'all're cowards.” before stomping her way out of the room.

“I'll go talk to her.” Twilight said quickly and stood up. “AJ, wait up.” She called out as she galloped after her friend.

“I have business to attend to if we're going to make it back in good order. Princess, Captain.” He saluted respectfully and trotted out.

“Topsail.” Rajrishi saluted back. “Rarity, you just about done down there?”

“Just about darling.” She tied off a line of cord and floated over a glob of ointment and a bandage. “You simply must find some way to avoid harm like this Rajrishi. If that bolt had been an inch off I'm very certain you wouldn't be here.”

“As encouraging as that thought is, there isn't much I can do about that. Outside of getting better at blocking or dodging, there isn't much I can do about getting hurt.” Raj shrugged helplessly as he pulled his shirt back on.

Rarity looked sullen for a moment before her face lit up. “Ideeaa! Fluttershy, are you busy?” Rarity leaned over her friend, a huge smile on her face.

“Oh! Um, not really at the moment. I suppose I could- eep!” She let out a sharp squeak as Rarity wrapped her in telekinesis and lifted her up bodily before zipping away.

“ExcellentcomewithmeThankYou!” Her voice echoed down the hallway as she retreated.

Everyone else present filed out at their own pace until Raj and Luna were left alone in the maproom. Raj walked up to the mutilated alicorn and cleared his throat. “Princess, may I have a moment of your time?”

Luna gave him a fatigued look before answering. “What?”

“It's about my fight with the Rakshasa. I didn't want to bring it up in front of the others because I knew they would worry. At the end of our fight, he did... something to me. I'm still not sure what.”

She coughed. “Beyond the sound beating he delivered thou?”

“Yes ma'am.”

“Does this something still pain you?”

“No ma'am.”

“Then I fail to see how anything regarding that creature may still be relevant, as we are fleeing from it like frightened foals.”

Raj scowled. “Princess, I don't think that's quite what-”

She silenced him with a raised hoof. “Your thoughts on this course are well documented Captain, you need not justify your position any further. Now begone, there is much healing we must perform on ourselves and we will require peace to do it.”

Raj hesitated a moment before saluting sharply. He muttered. “Ma'am.” before heading out of the maproom and closing the door.

* * *

Hours later, the Break of Day was sailing low, going underneath one of the floating mountains. So huge was the mass of rock it blotted out the whole of the night sky. Below, a vast canyon yawned, its walls crawling and alive with dozens of giant creatures, too distant to make out clearly though their cries could be heard as a bass, staccato rhythm.

Fourth mate Ropesnap stared down at the canyons, his Night-Sight spyglass letting him see the pale hides of the crawling things. One of them turned a fanged maw upwards and he was all but certain he could feel its perception land on him.

He shuddered and collapsed the glass. “Can't wait to get back to Canterlot.” Though he'd never sailed the Shattered Lands before, Ropesnap knew he'd already had his fill of floating mountains, lava-drenched squids, and misbehaving natural phenomena.

Ruminations on the strangeness of where he sailed were cut short when he heard a flutter of wings behind him. He spun about, already reaching for his crossbow, to see an enormous eagle perched on the other side of the crow's nest.

Ropesnap let out a breath and relaxed, an instant later remembering the briefing him and the crew had been issued. His wings flared and his mouth opened to shout an alarm, but the Rakshasa was faster. In a blink the thing had morphed to its hybrid form, springing forward with its sword held back. It thrust forward and the golden tip passed through his chest and out the other side, piercing both lungs. His cry of alarm instead whistled and bubbled out of the holes in sides.

Bakasura drew his sword out and let Ropesnap collapse, purple froth leaking out of his mouth as he struggled for air. The Rakshasa looked down and thought about finishing him, but decided to let the sentry suffer. He reached into a bag on his belt and aimed a light skyward, flashing it three times. A few moments later, a pair of Auroch silhouettes lowered down onto the crow's nest, held by harnesses attached to strong ropes. They landed as lightly as an animal of their size was able to and disconnected, the ropes snaking back up to deliver more invaders.

The Rakshasa sheathed his scimitar and whispered to one of the Aurochs. “Stay up here and keep quiet. I would prefer that I get to her without alerting the whole of the ship.” The bull let out a light grunt and the Rakshasa nodded its bird-head. “Of course my friend. We sink this ship no matter what, but not while it has our prize on board. That is the priority.”

The Auroch nodded and Bakasura dove off the side of the ship. He morphed into an eagle and swooped, angling for the back of the ship and the mare hiding within.

The Invasion of the Break of Day

Spike folded his arms and scowled. He stared out the porthole at the dark, rolling landscape and the flexing sails beneath the window. He let out a sigh, and when nothing came of that, he sighed again a bit louder.

Twilight looked up from a book with sympathetic eyes. “Spike, I know you're upset about us leaving. If you want to talk about that's fine, just don't grouse like that.”

“I'm not grousing, I'm pouting.” He clarified, humphing down into his annoyed posture again.

“You've been hanging around Rarity too much if you know that difference.” she closed her book. “You heard Rajrishi and Topsail, the Rakshasa and those pirates out there make it way too dangerous to stay out here unsupported.”

Spike turned around and fanned his arms wide. “I know, but we didn't even get to go looking for Jolly Roger's ship. We didn't find any treasure, or gems, or anything. Just... dumb floating mountains and junk.” His arms fell to his sides and he looked down at the floor glumly.

Twilight put a comforting hoof on the dragon's shoulder. “I agree with them for what it's worth. Ponies died Spike, not to mention all those Goats and Aurochs on those ships. This isn't really Elements of Harmony business, we'll let the Air Navy take care of it.”

“But we have the Princess here. Can't she take care of the Rakshasa and the pirates?”

Twilight knit her brow. “I'm not sure how fit Princess Luna is after being hit by that cannon. Some time away to recover will be good for her... I think.” her face softened into a smile and she crouched down to nuzzle the little dragon. “Don't worry Spike, if we make good time we'll be back in Ponyville for Winter Roll-Out, won't that be fun?”

Spike put a hand on the side of her neck and smiled weakly. “I guess so.”

“It will be. And don't worry, we're never going to have to worry about that shapeshifting monster ever again.”

It was on that propitious note that the porthole to their cabin exploded inward in a shower of glass and a large form flew on on the sudden gust of air. The form righted itself and slid to a halt against the back wall of the cabin. It cocked it's eagle head towards the pair and dove, scimitar flashing.

Only decades of magical training gave Twilight the presence of mind to summon a forcefield over herself and Spike in time. It was soft and un-grounded, but it was enough to bounce the attack back. The shield burst in a flare of magic, but in an instant Twilight had summoned another one over them both. Bakasure struck three more times, each blow coming faster than the last, but each time it was met by a newly formed wall of magic. The Rakshasa staggered back and snarled through its beak. “Very well, the child then.”

The thing set its blade and stabbed forward, the tip of the orichalcum sword slicing through the shield far too easily. It slid between the two of them and the thing pivoted the weapon to slap the flat across Spike's cheek. The little dragon let out a cry of pain and he stumbled back, leaning against the side of the shield. The Rakshasa twisted the blade and tore it out the side of the bubble, causing it to flicker and die. In an instant, Twilight had another one lit, but without Spike inside it.

The little dragon scrabbled to get away, but was far from fast enough to evade the Rakshasa. The thing dove and grabbed him by his frills, lifting him up bodily into the air. Spike struggled for a moment before he felt a hot sting slicing through the scales of his neck. He looked down to see a shiny, golden blade quivering directly below his chin.

“Spike!” shouted Twilight, her voice distorted by her own protection spell. “Let him go!”

“Drop your barrier. Now.” Snarled Bakasura, his blade sawing ever so slightly through Spike's scales until a tiny bead of orange blood formed.

The forcefield came down in an instant. “There, now let him-”

The scimitar flashed out and Twilight suddenly felt... odd. Like her inner ear had come unbalanced. A hard clop echoed from the floor and she looked down to see a small purple nub, about as long as her hoof was wide. Horror washed over her features and she reached up, her hoof rubbing over a cracked nub.

It was her horn. The thing had cut off her horn.

That realization brought the pain and she collapsed, clutching at the cracked stump and sobbing uncontrollably. Spells came to her mind instinctively and sparks jutted from her forehead, the magic dying before it got a chance to come to life.

“You monster!” Spike shouted as he renewed his struggles. “Why did you do that? When I get out here I'm going to burn you to a crisp! I'm gonna-” Bakasura flicked his oddly reversed wrist and tossed the squirming dragon behind him. Spike bounced off the rim of the porthole and vanished out into the darkness.

Twilight reached out and cried his name, the room going blurry through tears. Bakasura loomed over her and spat. “Cease your weeping. I could have ripped it out, then your magic would never return. As it stands, do as I need and no further harm shall come to you. After this.” He then reared an arm back and cuffed her across the face, stunning her into silence.

* * *

Rajrishi thumbed through the book and struggled with the still unfamiliar script. He defaulted to running his finger under the lines as he went to help him keep his place in the oddly swooping pony letrering. Twilight had long since transcribed Luna's Book of Titans to a more conventional one of parchment and glue and he was once again thankful for it. It made studying it all the easier as one did not have to wrestle with twenty pound sheet of beaten copper every time a page needed to be turned.

He'd been studying the section on the Asura for hours, taking notes as he went on what might be relevant. Though the pages dedicated to the Asura and his shapeshifting, chimeric children were just as expansive as any other, he found no mention of the odd magic Bakasura had levied against him. He thought back to the flickering hallucinations that had played across his vision followed by the overwhelming vertigo and shivered. He'd experienced a great many traumas since being trapped in Equestria, but that had been a unique one.

The door hissed open he glanced at the sound. Luna hobbled in, looking far more like herself though still thin and wasted. On instinct Raj rose to his feet and stood at attention, arms clapped at his sides. Luna waved a tired hoof and muttered. “At ease Captain.”

“Yes ma'am.” He settled into a relaxed posture and said. “You're looking much better alreadyPrincess. I'm happy to see it takes more than a direct cannon hit to put you down for more than a few hours.

“Not much more than, it seems.” She flapped open a wing, showing immature barbs and stumpy feathers. “We were forced to regenerate our wings in their entirety, as well as much of our skin and muscle. The strain has left us wearied.”

“You should be getting some rest then ma'am.”

“There will be time for that later. For now, we have come to thou to speak of strategies for our return voyage.” She settled into a seat at the table and glanced at his book. “What is thine subject?”

“Titans. Or the Asura specifically. I'm trying to find out about something Bakasura did in our fight. No luck so far.” He picked the book up again and skimmed another line.

“Ah, the Asura. Vile schemer was he. Rather than make his own spawn, he stole the secrets of the other Titans and used them to create his own malformed creatures. The Chupacabras, Chimeras, Tarasques, even Griffins were all created by him. So dishonest was his species-craft that his children bleed black, a muddy combination of all other Titanic chroma.”

Raj blinked. “Yeah, I know that. I think you just quoted the book word for word actually”

Luna shrugged. “We did write the tome.”

“Yeah, but some stuff might have been left out. Something you overlooked way back when.”

She squinted. “Explain.”

“When I was fighting on the junk, after you got hit. Bakasura grabbed me by the head and did... something. I can't explain it very well.” He shook his head, the memory of it fuzzing up his thoughts.

She put a hoof on his arm. “Try, Captain.”

“Alright, well... stuff flickered through my head. I had just as smear of sensation, like I wasn't just seeing pictures in my head but experiencing the details of it, as well as some electric force running along my nerves. It was... weird. I don't think I have to words to describe it any better.”

Luna went silent for a minute, brow furrowed in thought. “That sounds familiar, and worrying.” Luna's horn lit and she floated all the volumes of the Book of Titans in front of her. She scanned the pages, quiet again. “Ah, we did not include it. We thought so.”

Raj stood up. “Luna, what's wrong?”

“We are not a scholar, Captain. As a result, this tome is far from complete and only holds information relevant to ponykind. Ymir had perished long before, so there is little information on it, for example.” She set the books down and pressed a hoof to her head as if in pain.

“What're you talking about?”

“Rakshasa have an ability Captain. They are telepathic creatures, a trait stolen from the Titan Kukulcan's creations and bestowed upon them. The Faustmare bartered immunity from that power for ponykind, and as the Asura had stolen it from Kukulcan, it barred against Rakshasa as well.”

“But not me.” Raj surmised.

Luna nodded, her face going grave.

* * *

Bakasura lifted Twilight's stunned form and stepped into the passage, already in a crouch to run for the deck of the ship.

“Hey!” he heard a shout from behind and whipped around, already prepared to hurl his scimitar and dispatch the speaker. When he saw who it was, he hesitated.

Standing in the passage was Applejack, head low and rage painting her features. The Rakshasa blinked its bulbous eyes and growled. “So my eyes did not deceive me. There really is a dirt horse here in the skies. What a novel concept.”

“Shut yer trap you slave-mongering demon.” Applejack snarled.

“Such venom! I'm surprised.” It cocked it's misshapen head. “You must hail from one of our pens. Tell me, what is your families proper name?”

“Smith.” she said sharply.

“Not one of my errant families, unfortunately.” Bakasura chuckled. “If memory serves, that would be one of Hidimba's wayward clans. As much as he would love to reclaim his lost property, I do not have the luxury of such.”

“Ya ain't taking anypony anywheres.” Applejack declared.

“And how exactly is one little runaway going to stop me?” Bakasura asked, mocking in his tone.

Applejack's hateful grimace dissolved into a satisfied smirk. “Doin' this.” She lifted one leg and kicked back, her hoof smashing through the door to the shipboard alarm and crushing the button. Instantly the entire ship filled with a blaring alarm, small lights flashing in every room, hall, and passage, alerting the entire ship to the emergency.

Bakasura didn't shout, or curse, or even get upset. He just slumped his shoulders and looked annoyed. He slurred, straining to be heard over the alarm. “You have not denied me my victory, little dirt horse. All you have done is ensure that so many more will die in the process.”

“You talk too much.” Applejack snarled and broke into a charge.

* * *

Raj paused for a moment before sputtering. “W-wait, so that means Bakasura knows everything I know. Where I'm from, what we're doing here, shift schedules and crew compliments?”

Luna nodded and opened her mouth to reply but her words were drowned out by the sudden whine of alarms. A light started flashing on the ceiling, filling the room with a pulsing red glow.

Raj was already moving. He took up his weapon belt and strapped his axes back on. He reached for Crescent but it was wrapped in a scintillating glow and dragged over to Luna. As it moved, its form rippled and shivered, assuming a shape for use by a pony. Raj could almost sense the bow's eagerness at being in the possession of its true owner again. Luna strapped on the quiver of arrows and shouted “We will speak later.”

Raj didn't respond, he just kicked open the door and started his way to the deck.

* * *

The moment the alarm started blaring, Topsail knew it was going to get bad.

He jabbed an elbow into the side of the nearest sailor and barked. “Get below and check the engine, make sure we didn't miss no damage that's coming back to haunt us.” The sailor nodded and opened her wings to swoop below the ship. “Everypony else get to battlestations, we ain't getting ambushed twice in one day.”

Relays passed the order up and down the ship and the ponies began arming themselves. Afterwards, most of them would say that is what saved their lives.

A great, hooting bellow came from above and Topsail twisted his gaze up to see an enormous bull swinging down from the bag. It hit the deck with a mighty crash and bucked its head, both horns catching a crewpony and sending them flying. One landed in a roll and shakily got to his hooves, the other laid on the deck and clutched at a deep chest wound.

Topsail hefted up his crossbow and took a snapshot at the thing. The big auroch stumbled and screamed, a hoof coming up to grab at the quarrel sprouting out of its eye. That bought enough time for the rest of the crew to get to their positions and gather their arms. Not an instant later dozens more aurochs and goats repelled down to the deck and engaged the crew.

“Repel boarders!” He bellowed out, urging the whole of the crew to action. Snorting derisively, he hooked the stirrup of his crossbow on the railing and yanked the string to cock it. As he set another bolt down he shouted out. “Ms. Windy, get a signaling mirror, I want to see what's above us.”

“Sir?” Asked the pegasus sailor through a mouthful of cutlass as she blocked jabs and slashes from a frenzied goat. “I'm a bit busy!”

Topsail aimed somewhat casually and fired, the razor sharp bolt striking the goat she was engaged with hard enough to pin it to the gunwale. The thing struggled and bleated, its fight all but forgotten. “There, now do you need me to wipe your brow too?”

“On it sir.” Windy belted back. She kicked open a small chest and lifted out a large mirror the size of a dinner plate. She flapped out into the air next to the ship and angled the mirror, allowing Topsail to see the shadow of the junk waiting overhead, ropes dangling from it that had small figures gliding down them like spiders on a web. Topsail frowned at the sight and started yanking on levers, overfilling the bladders in the bag and angling the ship up.

* * *

Below deck, moments after the alarm, Applejack and the Rakshasa clashed.

Bakasura moved forward fluidly, form rippling into a bulky, enormous hyena. Applejack was undeterred and tucked her head, putting on a little bit more speed. They crashed into one another and hit the floor, squirming and rolling over one another. Applejack got on its back and looped a foreleg around its neck, squeezing at its throat. The Rakshasa rolled, crushing AJ under its weight and came up straddling her. It snapped its jaws at her face, managing to catch her cheek. Applejack swore and kicked back, sliding along the floor to get away from the crushing fangs. She hit a snag in the floor in front of Twilight's room and it stopped her long enough for Bakasura to get close.

Staring at those teeth, AJ made a snap decision and interposed her foreleg, letting the thing clamp down on the limb. The Rakshasa snarled and squeezed, slicing into meat and bone. Applejack let out a scream and hauled back on the leg, drawing the thing in close enough she was able to hook her other hoof into its jaw. She felt the bone crack, but the Rakshasa did not let go.

“Hey jerk!” Came a voice from the side and Bakasura looked over in time to see an advancing ball of green light. The fireball hit it hard and the thing flew, slamming into a bulkhead with a resounding clang. Her limb free, Applejack curled up and clutched it while moaning in pain.

“AJ move!” Spike shouted as he fell from the porthole into the room, dangling flags of sailcloth hanging from his claws. Applejack obliged through the haze of agony and rolled from the little dragon's line of fire, closer to Twilight's un-moving form. Spike sucked in a great lungful of air, held it for a moment, and let loose.

A thick column of emerald flame projected out and slammed into the Rakshasa, the sheer force of it pinning it to bulkhead. It let out a pitiable scream and struggled to free itself from the overwhelming force of the fire, but it couldn't get traction on its melting paws. Enough heat spilled off of the display it boiled the overhead sprinklers and they burst, spraying stagnant water down that instantly vaporized into hot steam.

After fifteen seconds of the fiery treatment, Spike's wind suddenly left him and the fires went out. He clutched at his chest, fighting for air. Applejack rose up and squinted into the cloud of hot vapor, unable to make out the shape of the Rakshasa. “Ah think you got him Spike!” she called out, her voice barely audible over the hissing spray.

Something misshapen moved in the cloud and Applejack was bowled aside by a hulking mass of burned flesh. The thing rippled and resolved into the Rakshasa's hybrid form and Applejack snarled an insult. She made to stand but lost her hoofing on her bad leg. She hit the floor hard and feebly reached out for the thing as it rushed past her. Bakasura roughly grabbed Twilight by the mane and flung her over his shoulder before moving for the stairs again.

Spike waddle-ran out of his cabin and towards the sound of Applejack's curse. He saw the form of the Rakshasa in the mist and sucked in to breathe more fire.

“No!” cried Applejack as she dove to grab his tail. “He's got Twilight, you'll burn her up too!”

Spike coughed, his fire aborted, and fell to a knee with a series of wracking hacks. By the time he looked up, the thing was gone. He wheezed. “Thanks Applejack. Are you okay?”

“Ah'll manage.” she slurred as she rose up on three legs. “C'mon, let's go get that varmint.”

* * *

At almost the same moment, Rajrishi and Bakasura emerged onto the deck in the middle of absolute chaos. The ship was covered in skirmishing creatures, everyone slashing and stabbing and bashing at one another in a confused melee. Screams of rage and pain filled the air along with the smell of sweat and blood.

He caught sight of the Titanspawn for a moment before he disappeared into the madness of the battle. That didn't dissuade Raj and he moved in a straight line for where he saw the thing emerge.

A bucking auroch tore its way past him and he sprang out of the way of the rampage. He spun, expecting the thing to square off with him, and was surprised as it rushed onward. Above it, a quartet of crossbow wielding pegasi hovered, peppering the bovine's back with quarrels in disciplined volleys as the creature tried to escape the attack in vain.

No sooner had he turned around from that were a pair of goats rushing him with lances. He swept his axes to the sides to divert them and snapped a leg out, striking one in the side of the head to make it crash into the other. Both creatures fell in a heap, one dead from a broken neck and the other tangled up in his companion.

“RAJ!” came a shout from midship. He rose to his full height and scanned around, finding the source after a few seconds. Against the port railing of the ship was Bakasura, sporting a bug-eyes hyena head and surrounded by a vanguard of aurochs and goats. There with him was Twilight Sparkle, struggling against the rope harness she was being forced into.

Rajrishi broke into a run towards them, teeth grit in anger. Bakasura saw him coming and gestured with a hand. A phalanx of goats lifted crossbows and fired in staccato rhythm.

He dove to the side to avoid the fire, but the move proved unnecessary as a sparkling shield of energy appeared on the deck and blocked each quarrel. A cloud of bats swooped down and re-incorporated into Princess Luna, Crescent clipped to her leg and blood covering her horn. She snarled out. “Foul formless demon! Release Twilight Sparkle and surrender. Cease this mad bloodshed.”

The Rakshasa jostled Twilight in her bonds and snarled back. “Isn't this perfect? An Asura Son and a Horsespawn, battling in this blasted place again so many years later. Nothing has changed at all.”

“Silence your disgusting ruminations. As diarch of Equestria, we demand you cease this brazen assault on royal property at once.”

“You lost the rights to diplomacy when you refused to return our property. Your authority means nothing.” The Rakshasa spat back.

Luna screamed something in an ancient language and her eyes flashed black for a moment before scything shards of starry sky ripped from her horn and flew towards the gathered invaders. The goats and aurochs didn't slow the shards in the slightest, they simply passed through them and the creatures fell to the deck in dead heaps.

Rajrishi didn't have time to goggle at the display of killing magic as Bakasura was rushing towards them, scimitar up and ready. Luna's eyes flashed again and a sizzle of energy ran up her horn. Instead of a flurry of black shards however, a burst of sparks ejected from the tip and she fell to her knees, grunting with strain.

Bakasura closed and Rajrishi interposed himself, their weapons striking with a great crash. Bakasura's scimitar danced in a web of golden strikes that Raj struggled to block, already giving up ground to the aggressive onslaught. After a few seconds of attack the creature slapped Raj's guard to the side and stepped forward in a high kick, sending him rolling back.

The Rakshasa sprang towards Princess Luna, hoping to deal with her before she was on her hooves again. She was faster to recover and blocked his initial strike with her bow, the weapons clattering against one another. Luna pushed him away and charged her horn again to launch a crude beam of energy at the creature's face. Bakasura took the hit on the flat of his scimitar and slid back a few steps, the gold of his sword blackened by the hit.

Bakasura lowered his sword to stare down the shaft of a metal arrowhead, the fletching held in Luna's mouth. She squinted and released the shot, the bowstring making the air snap audibly. A silver streak tore through the air and retreated towards the horizon. The shot missed but passed so close to the Rakshasa's face it tore the fur from the side of his head with its speed.

Raj grinned and moved in on the thing while it was distracted and off balance

Just then, Topsail shouted over the ship-wide horn. “Brace for impact!” A second later everything on the ship heaved upwards alongside a terrible pop and a tearing crack. Everyone was thrown violently to the ground, for a moment the chaos of the battle receding in the face of the sudden turbulence.

Raj pondered what had happened for a moment before the burning hulk of a Junk fell past the side of the ship, its half-inflated bag trailing above it. Over the loudspeaker, Topsail barked out. “Hostile boarders, your ship has been destroyed. There can be no victory here. Surrender now or die. Combat teams, execute any boarders that do not immediately throw down their arms. That's an order.”

It took Raj a moment to figure it out. The Junk had been hiding above the Break of Day, lowering invaders down onto the bag and then letting them rappel to the main ship. Topsail had realized that and set the ship to lift at all speed. It'd taken a few minutes, but the larger ship had lifted the smaller Junk up and crushed it against the underside of the mountain they were flying under.

The maneuver was reckless, dangerous, and had probably done terrible damage to the Break of Day itself, but it had worked. Goats and aurochs were throwing down their arms en masse, the destruction of their ship and the reinforcements on board sealing their defeat.

Bakasura realized this too and was snarling threats and protests at any of his crew that could hear him. He stepped back, worry in his body language as he searched for a way out.

Raj stalked forward, axes forward and bouncing on his feet. Luna floated another arrow out of her quiver and nocked it. She echoed Topsail and shouted. “Surrender or die.” before aiming the shaft at the dog-headed beast.

Bakasura looked around worriedly, back pressed against the boards of the reardeck. He saw no way out, no escape from the trap of his own making. He let out a sigh and his sword dipped, ready to give up.

Then the door to the belowdeck opened up and Applejack and Spike limped onto the deck, within feet of Bakasura.

A great deal happened in the next few seconds. Luna let out a shout as much as she could with a mouthful of fletching and the pair turned to Bakasura, terror washing over their features. Bakasura's form rippled, turning into a hulking gorilla and he reached out at the pair. Before they could react, his rough hands had clamped around their necks. Luna held her shot, forelegs wobbling from the strain.

Raj broke into a charge, heading for the thing as it lifted AJ and Spike. It turned on him, arms full of hostages, and flicked them back towards starboard. They arced up, heading for the air off the side of the ship. Luna opened her mouth and turned after the two, going into a dive off the ship to catch the two. The shot still managed to hit the gorilla square in the chest and blow out its back, staggering it for a moment. Rajrishi closed and swung straight for his head.

Bakasura's form rippled and suddenly there was nothing for him to hit. His ax buried in the boards and he glanced down to see a squirrel with bulging eyes at his feet. He lifted a foot to stomp it but the thing was too swift. It scampered between his legs and made a beeline for the portside of the ship, towards Twilight's tangled form.

Swearing spiritedly, he spun and hurled his spare ax at the retreating rodent. Miraculously, he hit it directly above the hips and sliced it clean in two. The front half of the thing rippled into a whole eagle and it flapped up at it soared towards Twilight. Its claws came down and grabbed at the tangling ropes, it flapped again and lifted her clear of the railing and out into open air.

Raj took up Luna's discarded bow and a fallen arrow and rushed to the side of the ship. He nocked the shaft and ignored the strained hum from the bow as it lamented being used by him again. He aimed, focused, and sighted in on the blot of color barely visible in the ship's light.

He breathed, settled the sight, paused, and then... lowered it. He drew forward the arrow and watched a shapeshifting demon fly off into the night with a bellowing scream of rage.

* * *

“What the actual hell!” screamed Topsail as he pounded the table in the library. “You didn't think it important to mention that those things can read minds?!”

Everypony had just finished explaining what had led to the attack, the conversation in that very library, the fight belowdecks, and the smashing of the junk all needing explanation for everypony else. Topsail had fixated on Luna's lack of forthcoming, and as a result her reply was clipped, though just as angry. “No. No we did not.”

“Why?” Topsail spat at her.

“Equines are immune to it, completely and wholly. Thousands of years past, when we wrote that book, we could not imagine there would come a time when we would call any not of the Faustmare allies.”

Topsail looked at Raj, then back to Luna, then back to Raj. “Get a better imagination.”

“Hey!” Pinkie Pie spoke up. “There will be plenty of time for yelling later. How are we going to help Twilight?”

“Yes. Ms. Pie speaks wisdom. We must devise a way to rescue Twilight Sparkle.” Luna said decisively, clearly relieved to be speaking of something else.

“Not to sound lazy, but is there any way Twilight might be able to rescue herself?” Rarity asked. “She is a rather capable mare with very powerful magic. Mayhap she'll return to us once she regains her senses.”

Spike glowered at the table and reached forward, rolling something along its surface. After a moment, everyone realized it was Twilight's severed horn. Everyone present let out surprised gasps and Spike murmured. “I don't think we can count on that.” his voice was steady, no sign of the terror of falling off the ship evident in his tone.

Rarity poked at the grisly object and her face noticeably greened. “Oh my goodness, it will be weeks before she can do magic again. How ghastly.”

“Again, I'm sorry ya'll.” muttered Applejack, hat in hoof. “Ah had that thing on its back 'n ah couldn't close the deal. Shoulda hit the alarm as soon as I heard them noises, woulda bought us all a few extra seconds. Woulda made all the difference.”

“Nobody is at fault AJ.” Fluttershy whispered with a comforting hoof on her shoulder.

“Except that Bakasura jerk.” hissed Rainbow Dash, her wings fluttering in anger. “Why would he go and do something like ponynap Twilight anyway? What's the deal?”

“If I had to guess? Ransom.” Topsail answered. “From what I understand, Princess Celestia would hoof over every gem underneath Canterlot for her safe return.”

A few ponies nodded at that idea. Raj shook his and said. “No, that's not it.”

“Why not?”

“Because I didn't know that.”

Everypony present looked confused for a moment before Rainbow Dash said. “Say wha?”

“Think about it. When I was on that junk, Bakasura read my mind. Something he saw there led him to do this. If he knew Twilight was so valuable, then he wouldn't have hit the ship so violently and risked killing her. No, something he saw in my memories led him to kidnap her.”

“What could that be?” asked Fluttershy to everyone present.

Everyone thought for a moment and then Pinkie jumped up. “Ooh ooh, maybe he needs her to do something. Like he needs her to do some weird, unicorn thing that he can't do himself.”

“What? Like magic? Then why would he cut off her horn?” Rainbow asked, pointing at the severed nub and drawing a fresh round of shudders.

“Good point. That means it can't be a magic thing. It must be something she knows. Something she...” Raj trailed off as he looked around the library. “Books.” he said quietly.

“Um, yeah. Books. We all know Twilight likes books Rajy.” Pinkie said back somewhat dismissively.

“No, no, specific books. These, here.” Raj went over to a disorganized pile of tomes, maps, and charts. “These were the maps Twilight was making, what's she'd put together with our time in the Shattered Lands. I was looking at them minutes before Bakasura ate my memories. He took her so he could find something here.”

“Like what?” Topsail asked.

“Jolly Roger's treasure!” shouted Spike. “I told you he was here for it.”

“We need to study these maps.” Raj said sharply. “If Bakasura saw something on them that might lead him to Jolly Roger then we need to figure out what it is.”

Spike waddled over. “I helped write them, I can help with that.”

“I'll go double time on the prisoners. If we dangle this over them we might be able to squeeze some details out of them. Will probably take time though.” Topsail offered.

“Twilight Sparkle may not have time Shipmaster. We need to her before Bakasura finishes whatever task he has set aside for her.” Luna shot.

Rarity raised a hoof. “I might be able to use a modified form of my gem-finding spell to locate her, but I didn't design it for that. With some modification I may be able to tune it to provide a general direction of her.”

“Then we shall assist you, Ms. Rarity.” Luna stood up and trotted for the door. “We have tomes on the very subject in our quarters. Come.” Rarity hurried after.

Applejack stuffed her hat back on her head and said. “Well, ah'm gunna-”

A yellow hoof pressed to her muzzle and Fluttershy said. “Rest. You are going to rest.”

“Hey, Fluttershy-”

“No heys here. You have a broken leg and bruises all over your flank. You are going to rest Applejack.”

“But-”

“Rest.”

Applejack turned away meekly and trudged out into the hall. Fluttershy turned around and addressed the whole room. “In fact, everypony not working should be sleeping. It's late and we've all had quite a day.” A general murmur of agreement echoed in the space and everypony filed out.

Raj and Spike sat onto the bench and settled into a companionable silence, prepared for a long night of study. Outside, the pale monsters in the canyon below wiped the blood of a hundred dead off their maws and bellowed at the sky for more.

Shedding Peace

Twilight bolted upright with a sudden start and immediately regretted it.

A shooting pain lanced through her head that floated black blobs in her vision. She cowered to the floor and groaned, clutching at the point of agony for a moment. She had a brief moment of panic when she didn't feel her horn and then immediately sunk into dread.

Shattering glass, a slicing sword, and she was helpless. That's what had happened.

She pushed that disquieting thought out of her mind and studied her surroundings. There wasn't much to it, little more than a wooden box with a slanted roof that was about two lengths long and one wide, barely enough room to turn around without scraping her nose on the wall. There was no door, just a rack of bars between her and a dimly guttering lantern sitting on a box.

Twilight gave the bars a shove and immediately realized she wouldn't be able to budge them. Instead, she pressed her face against the gaps to try and see around the edge of the cell.

A great bovine head swung around the corner and glared at her with a bloodshot eye. She let out a hiss and hopped back into her cell as the auroch banged a hoof against her bars and let out a harsh bellow. She slid to the back of the cage and stammered. “S-stay away!”

“Do as she says Buford.” Came a rasping, choked voice from outside the cell. “There's no need to intimidate the girl. She has enough sense to be afraid already.”

The auroch glared at the speaker for a moment before snorting and turning tail. He gave Twilight a moment of stinkeye as he passed and flicked the bars with his tail.

“Buford is quite cross with the losses we faced acquiring you. Two of his brothers were aboard the ship that was crushed.” Said Bakasura as he stepped into view, the tiger head sitting atop his shoulders once more. He stared down at her with a curious look Twilight couldn't quite place. He reached a hand through the bars and set a tin cup along with a pair of pills on the floor. “Take these.”

“What is it?” She asked back shakily.

“Water and a mild anesthetic. Both will help with your headache.”

“I don't want any of your drugs.” she kicked the pills through the bars.

“Then don't take them Sparkle.” The thing slurred back, words still not quite fitting its mouth.

“Why am I here? Why did you ponynap me?”

“Directly to the point. Very well.” he reached down behind the box and brought up several tubes of leather. “Look at these, if you would please.” He passed them through the bars.

Twilight glared at the scrolls for a moment before knocking them from his hand. “What are they?”

“Maps. Ones I have put together over the last year.” He pulled the lamp closer to her cell and turned it up so she could read.

Twilight scanned over the rudimentary charts and snorted. “These things are expansive, but just awful. Whoever made them didn't track the parabola of the bodies orbit, they just predicted that they would move in a static circle. That's not how normal gravity works, much less Shattered Lands pseudo-gravity.”

Bakasura slurred back. “I am no cartographer. I have been forced to make do. Regardless, do they make sense to you? Could you use them, despite the flaws?”

She gave them a minute's worth of attention and nodded. “I could, but what for? Why did you bring me here?”

Bakasura looked down at the map between her hooves for a moment and muttered. “To find something that was stolen from me a long time ago.”

“Why would I help you?” Twilight spat. “You attacked us, you broke my horn, you threw Spike out a window!”

“True, true, and true, though the latter act had few repercussions. Your pet dragon is quite fine, judging by the heat of his flames. I was rather surprised, my hyena shape will be unavailable to me for days.” He let out a rueful chuckle. “As for why you would help me, the standard reason; If you don't, I'll kill you. Aid me, and you might live.”

He spoke simply, flatly, no misleading inflection or tone that would construe his meaning. Twilight half-expected him to continue speaking rather than end on such a blunt threat. When he did not, she felt the weight of what he said. This creature was different. Bakasura wasn't a raging beast or stricken by a curse. He didn't want to steal her love or even throw Equestria into chaos. There was no greed or hunger or lust in his eyes, he was looking down at her like she was a frog he was about to dissect. Something that might give him knowledge he could use, or something that would be shoved aside if it couldn't.

Twilight fought down a throatful of frightened gorge, wiped her mouth, and said. “What do you need?”

* * *

Raj rubbed at the back of his neck, the minor pains and twinges presaging a headache that would only make his task all the harder. He turned up the lamps and squinted down at the maps Twilight had left for the hundredth time and, once again, failed to draw any information out of them.

Spike grumbled and rolled in his basket, nightmares disquieting his sleep. Rajrishi was proud of the little dragon, he had stayed up and struggled with the maps until exhaustion literally knocked him off his feet. Raj looked out the porthole at the faint light of the rising sun and realized exactly how late it was. Or early it was, depending on one's perspective.

The door to the maproom swung open with a sudden crash, startling Raj from his seat. Topsail tromped in, dragging a terrified goat draped in ropes. The gruff pegasus said “Tell him what you told me.” The frightened goat began bleating pitifully, moving its hooves as it spoke. After a minute it stopped and curled into a ball on the floor. Topsail grinned, clearly proud of himself. “You hear that Captain?”

Raj wiped his face and got back to his feet. “I don't speak goat Topsail. Never thought I'd need it.”

“Right.” Topsail pushed the panicked goat away, no longer even considering the creature. “Been interviewing every prisoner we caught, most of them are saying the same thing; they're here searching for something obscenely valuable and they don't know where the rest of the ships are, but they know there's four of 'em. Except this fella,” He lightly kicked the cowering goat. “he knew something extra.”

“How's that? I thought all the prisoners didn't know jack. What's so special about him?”

“He's a cook. Got moved to the ship we crushed right after we burned those three that ambushed us. Seems that shapeshifter's favorite chef was on the ship you invaded and this fella was second place. So when Bakasura took control of that ship from last night, he moved this guy over to prepare his meals.”

Raj stared at him blankly for a second and shook his head. “Topsail, I haven't had any sleep for almost thirty hours. If we could fast-track this I would be grateful.”

Topsail gave him a sour look and gestured to the goat. “He moved over at sundown yesterday. Ship he came from was exploring this big floating mountain covered in giant mushrooms. That sounded pretty familiar.”

Raj's eyes widened. “It should, we flew over it on our first day here.” Raj cleared some of the clutter on the table until he was looking at the correct map. He scanned the page as quickly as he could until he found it, Mass Nine, the ninth floating mountain Twilight had identified and charted. He ran a finger along the arc of its travel and said. “Here.” He scratched out the formula on a piece of parchment, re-did it when he realized his mistakes, and then pointed to a spot on the arc. “That's where it was yesterday at sundown.”

“Then that's where we're headed. Few hours steam from here will put us there. It's a start at least.” He let out a sharp breath. “I'm gonna move the ship into battle-mode. If they got four ships, we're gonna need it.”

Raj squinted. “Alright, what do you need from me?”

“You can get some sleep and some mess. I've seen corpses look better than you. We're gonna need you 'fore long, so take a note out of your dragon's book and get some rack time.” He tilted his head at the slumbering dragon.

He started to protest, but immediately lost steam when a sudden wave of tension crawled up his neck and he staggered. He blinked rapidly a few times and muttered. “Yeah that's... that's a good call Topsail.”

The Shipmaster grinned broadly. “Don't worry Captain, this is what the Air Navy does. Come on you.” He grabbed the goat and dragged him back into the hall corridor.

* * *

Twilight squinted at the maps arrayed on the table in front of her. She tried to beckon the lamp closer and was rewarded with a shooting pain in her forehead for the effort. She clutched at the stub of her horn and cursed.

Bakasura pushed the light closer and Twilight almost thanked him before she caught herself. She bit the charcoal stick and marked a spot. “There, that should be what you need.”

The Rakshasa looked it over and muttered. “Are you sure?”

“No.” Twilight responded flatly.

Bakasura drummed his fingers on the table in irritation. “Why is that?”

Twilight shot the shapeshifter a weary glare. “I'm running on incomplete information, so I'm forced to make inferences. If a dock was built in the Shattered Lands, then it would need to be somewhere that was close to static and deep in the interior. That orbital has a circuit of less than ten kilometers and there's nothing overtly dangerous about it. It fits the criteria, but I can't be sure until it's checked.”

Bakasura studied the unicorn in front of him and snarled slightly. “It's also very far from our current position. It will take hours for us to reach an intercept position.”

Twilight shot back. “How would I know where I am? I'm a prisoner."

Bakasura gave her a withering look and said. "Sparkle, your station entitles you to certain treatments, but if you are wasting my time in hopes that your friends will find you, I-”

Twilight bolted up to her hooves and flipped the table at him. “I'm doing what you want you jerk! I'm complying, I'm finding your stupid treasure as best I can!” She shouted, voice cracking, before stammering. “Just... just leave me alone.” and collapsing onto the floor.

Bakasura looked down at her coldly. His lip curled slightly, exposing a single yellowed fang, before he regained his composure. “You're tired. Rest for now. Food and water will be brought to you.” He stooped to gather the scattered charts.

“Why?” Twilight asked weakly, her head lifting up from her folded legs.

“Why what?” Bakasura said back as he rolled up a map.

“Why are you looking for Jolly Roger's treasure anyway? Why go through all this?” She asked, thin trickles of tears running down her face.

Bakasura stopped and looked up at her. Twilight felt her skin crawl beneath her coat, those bulging black eyes disgusting her even through her terrified anger. “I suppose I owe you that much.” He stepped close, looming well over her as she cowered slightly on instinct. “Sparkle, I am trying to leave this place.”

Twilight cocked her head. “I don't understand.”

“I know.” He helped her back up and ushered her back into the cell.

* * *

The Break of Day prepared for war was a very different beast.

Down alongside the hull, Rainbow Dash was hammering down a great canvas bag to the side of the ship. As the linchpin turned into the lock, the team of pegasi holding the thing up let go with an audible sound of relief. Rainbow gave the pins one last check before shouting up to the deck. “We're good, start 'er up!”

A pair of engineers activated the pump and started filling the heavy canvas with foaming concrete. The pegasus team massaged and worked the bag, kneading the stuff into every crevasse of the interior. They all let out hisses of pain and backed off regularly, shaking their hooves as heat seeped through the thick hoof-gloves. Steam boiled through the canvas, rapidly drying out the foaming stone substance. Once set, the bag would harden into an ablative layer of armor that would detonate any cannon shell before it was able to reach the fragile hull. Once the bag was bulging every seam and had stretched over the linchpin points, the team started moving up and down to check the dozens of bags already covering the hull.

Up on the deck, Rarity was holding up a curtain of chain link to the overhead bag, straining from the weight of it. Fluttershy and a few other pegasi rapidly affixed it to hooks mounted on the envelope while ponies pulled and strained on it below to affix it to the hull, creating a springy shield that would deflect indirect shells and stop any crippling shots to the deck.

The last hook took the weight and Rarity slumped down. She wiped the sweat off her brow and took a settling breath. She scanned up and down the deck, studying the brown canvas armor and rattling shield of chains and shuddered, appalled by the idea of it all.

A thud drew her attention and she turned around. The doors to the below deck swung open and Applejack strained her way onto the deck, a thick rope held in her mouth that trailed to a large cannon she was dragging up the steps. She turned around and started pulling in reverse, her front leg in a sling adding to the weight of her burden.

Rarity's horn lit and together they were able to lift the weapon over the last few steps. Applejack huffed out a breath and dropped the rope to fan herself with her hat. “Thanks Rares.”

“Think nothing of it Applejack. Tell me, why are you dragging this... thing up to the deck?”

“Ship's got built in blindspots, these're s'posed to cover them. We don't got enough to make a full battery, but every shot makes a difference.” she gave the thing a quick knock with a hoof and said. “What about you? Ain't your job to find out how ta track Twilight with magic?”

Rarity rolled her eyes to the side and groused. “We did actually, it just won't work here. The Shattered Lands have too much ambient wild magic for a spell as delicate as that. It won't work unless she's within a few hundred meters.”

“Huh, well ain't that a kick in the teeth.”

“Quite.” Rarity agreed, her lower lip pouted out. She recovered from her doldrum and looked down at her friend's tied up leg. “Are you sure it's a good idea for you to be moving such heavy loads in your... condition?”

“What, this thing?” She shook it slightly. “T'weren't nothing. Gave it a few hours sleep to get to mendin' and it's already on its way. Just can't put no weight on it, which is jess fine. Not to tip my own hat but me on three legs is still half 'gain as strong as anypony on this boat.”

“I have no doubt, but for my own peace of mind would you allow me to help you place the... device?” She asked with a slightly hopeful smile.

“Suit yerself.” Applejack bit the rope again and started hauling towards the front of the ship as an azure glow wrapped the cannon.

Raj looked down from the foredeck at the bustle of activity covering the ship as ponies hurried to make last minute changes to the ship. He took in a deep breath and picked up smoke and grease alongside the metallic tang of hot metal. He let out the breath and hummed thoughtfully to himself.

In drydock, like it was during the navy ball, the Break of Day was a soaring and majestic example of shipcraft. The lines of it were elegant and beautiful, the dark wood contrasting with undulating fins and vanes that caught light and cast it into scintillating patterns. Windows and portholes of shining brass shone on each deck and abundant interior lights made the great vessel appear cheerful and inviting. That combined with the fact that not a single gun or cannon was visible on the thing, it was possible to forget that it was a warship.

The Break of Day was a warship though, a vessel intended for lengthy, violent patrols along the borders of Equestria. To that end, rolling shutters of steel came down over those windows and were then buttressed with layers of concrete foam. The sheer number of fins and vanes that were removed from the hull proved how many of them were purely aesthetic. The gunnery ports were no longer impossible to notice, looking like deep pockmark scars in the foam that marred both sides. The deck was no longer a cheery, lit place. Now it was a dark, hunched space packed with cannon and wrapped in a layer of fence that glittered like sharkskin.

When the fighting was over the bags would be dropped, the gunnery ports sealed, the cannons unlatched, and the fence rolled up. The Break of Day would put the lie back on and return to port looking exactly like it had when it left, the whole of Equestria unaware of the terrible violence that had been inflicted on it and by it.

Luna looked at him curiously. “Captain, you look as though a thought has stuck upon thine mind.”

He shook his head. “Just realized a difference between humans and ponies.”

“Just the one?”

“Just one more.” He clarified. “Humans would spend resources making something that could fight better, ponies would spend resources to forget they already had.”

Topsail's voice roared from his station at the wheel. “Ten minutes you sods. Get the battlestations, now!”

A murmur went up through the crew as they gathered weapons and opened firing ports, preparing for combat. Luna gave Crescent a few experimental tugs as Raj drew his axes. He moved to the front of the ship as it started to angle around a bend.

After ten long, long minutes, he saw them. Half a mile off and hovering over an uneven cluster of mushrooms capping a bobbing mountain, were four Junks.

* * *

Twilight lowered her head into her folded hooves, sniffling slightly again. She pawed at her broken horn, desperately wishing that it would reappear. She glared up at the Rakshasa's back, anger boiling in her gut at the continued sight of him.

A clatter of hooves sounded from stairs she couldn't see and Bakasura's head snapped to the side. A brown goat ran up to him breathlessly and started bleating and crying too quickly for her to pick out more than a few words. Whatever he said seemed to enrage Bakasura as his body rocked with tension and he lifted the messenger by the scruff of his neck. “What!?”

Twilight perked up as the goat repeated its message, the words even more mangled by fear. Bakasura swore and dropped the creature. “Signal the others. Get everybody to their posts and make ready. We are leaving.”

The goat's head bobbled and it sprinted back towards the stairs. Twilight smiled genuinely and said. “They found me.” It wasn't a question.

Bakasura stomped away with a wordless growl, which was all the confirmation she needed.

Finding What You Want

Raj swayed on his feet, the ship bucking and turning underneath him as it accelerated. Sparks and colorless fire erupted from the corkscrew propeller underneath the hull, pushing the great beast of a ship with a sudden lurch of thrust.

The four Junks lit up and began scrambling to escape the Break of Day's path. Smaller and more nimble, they were easily able to evade it despite the sudden arrival. Raj cursed and ducked, expecting the things to be jockeying for firing positions. They weren't. All four had already turned tail and were heading off at all speed.

Raj shouted. “Where are they going? They stayed to fight before with smaller numbers.”

“That was before we were girded for war, Captain,” Luna said back calmly, the sway of the ship not affecting her at all. “They won't engage us fairly in our battle dress.”

“Not like they got a choice,” Growled Topsail as he turned several cranks and adjusted levers. “Our engine is fifteen times stronger than anything they got. Our straight line speed will bring us right to 'em.”

“That's very impressive, but straight lines of air are a commodity in the Shattered Lands.” Rarity pointed out. As she spoke, the four Junks slipped through a gap in a high wall of floating boulders.

“Horseapples!” shouted Applejack as she pressed her hat into her mane. “We can't fit through there, we're too wide.”

Raj cursed and looked up along the envelope. “We'll have to go over it. The wall cuts off a couple hundred meters up. If we hurry-”

“No time.” The pegasus growled as he started whirling a crank. The ship jerked as it fired the prop again, picking up speed rapidly. “Brace for impact!” He bellowed and grabbed onto the wheel. Applejack hunkered low next to Rarity. Luna crouched over them both before wrapping them in a defensive glow. Rajrishi whipped his axes out and thumped them into the deck, anchoring himself.

The ship gave a powerful buck as it struck the boulder, the nose of the envelope crunching inwards and the stone exploding in a spray of dust and rock, whatever strange gravity that let them float being dispelled by the sudden violence. Loose items and ponies launched forward from the hit, including a cartwheeling pink earth pony. Raj reached out to her, but wasn't fast enough.

His concern proved unnecessary as she hit the springy fence with her hooves and bowed it outwards a good three feet. She launched back into the ship, squealing with glee, and crashed into Raj's chest hard enough to send him sliding back. She flailed giddily and let out a cheer. “Whee, again! Again!”

“No.” Raj replied flatly before dropping her to the deck and turning back to the wheelstation. “Topsail you lunatic!”

“You're welcome.” He shot back gruffly and yanked a series of levers, slewing the ship to the side. He took an instant to measure the horizon and pushed the Break of Day towards flank speed.

The space they found themselves in was large, even by the standards of the Shattered Lands. A great jungle sprawled out beneath them, stretching for dozens of miles in all directions before terminating against reaching mountains, similar to a caldera Raj realized. Small boulders formed a lazily spinning ring that hovered mere meters over the treetops.

The Junks were jetting straight away, heading for a gap in the barrier mountains a few miles off. Raj guessed that they had just minutes before they caught up. He shouted to the assembled ponies. “Everyone remember the plan?” A chorus of affirming shouts cut above the wind and he nodded, readying himself as well.

The first shots came quickly, riotous cracks that were followed by streaks of color sailing by as the Junks opened fire with their deck cannons. Topsail seemed not to notice and barreled forward, unwilling to sacrifice the speed that evasive maneuvers would require. A shudder went through the deck as a few rounds burst against the armored hull and Raj felt a pang of fear.

Another bang sounded and before it had even registered his vision was dazzled by a spray of chromatic sparks. He cried out and fell backward, covering his face as the shot continued in its skidding path along the defense curtain.

“Keep from the railing 'less you got business there!” Topsail scolded as he angled the ship, bringing it alongside the rearmost Junk. Pinkie helped Raj to his feet and away from the rail.

As soon as they had the angle, the Junk fired their broadside right into the Break of Day. Shudders tore through the ship as the armor took all the hits. Pulverized concrete bled from a handful of ugly tears but held together tightly. Topsail shouted. “Thirty seconds, get to it.”

Rarity bounded toward the rail and focused, power pulsing through her horn. A visible glow projected out of her and swept along the Junk, lighting it up weakly. After a few seconds of scanning she slumped and let out several heavy breaths. She yelled back. “She's not on that one!”

“You sure?” Raj asked.

“Very.” she replied.

“Good enough. Port Side., fire!” bellowed Topsail and the gunnery ports swept open. The entire bank of cannons fired with one terrible sound and struck the Junk in one concentrated wave of fire. The whole side of the Junk disintegrated, the mooring chains snapping from the uneven load and sending the bag upwards like a rocket. The hull dropped down into the jungle and shattered against the ground, the incredible speed they were traveling at rendering the wood and metal as fragile as glass.

Rarity only had a moment to look down in horror at the crash before it was lost to their speed, becoming nothing more than a vaguely smoky smudge on the retreating horizon. Pinkie pulled Rarity back to safety as they began to close on the next Junk.

Fire erupted from each of the enemy ships, the situation now clear to their crews. The armor and the cage held against the onslaught, but Raj saw torn links in the fence and smoldering fires clung to the hanging armor. All it would take was one shot getting through to the deck to slow them down and that would be it. They'd never catch up.

Princess Luna seemed to realize this at the same moment and she lifted Crescent to her hoof and mouth. She floated an arrow to the string, drew, and loosed a bullet-swift shaft. Raj squinted, trying to see what she had hit, but his scrutiny proved unnecessary as one of the rearward cannons erupted into multicolored sparks. Either she'd managed to slip an arrow into their magazine or the shot had gone straight down their barrel. Raj wasn't certain which would be more impressive.

“Princess Luna!” Rarity chastised, all of her scorn poured into her tone. “Cease that at once. What if Twilight is on that ship?”

The Princess seemed not at all phased by the scolding and lined up another shot. She mumbled past the shaft. “As long as she is not operating their cannons, then we are reasonably certain she will be fine.” Luna let fly another arrow that was absent the explosion. She let out a brief curse and holstered the bow, the last of her arrows expended.

The sudden explosion of one of their guns seemed to remove the crew's enthusiasm and they weren't fired upon as they drew up alongside another of the ships. The Junk opened up with its broadside and pounded the Break of Day's starboard armor, but the protection held together like the other side had. Topsail shouted out. “Thirty seconds!”

Rarity moved forwards again, noticeably less pep in her step. She got the edge and fired off her scanning spell again, the glow traversing the ship in an instant. She opened her mouth to shout something and paused. She cast the scan spell again and her jaw fell open. Power pulsed through her form and she projected a beam azure light that stuck to the side of the Junk. Exhausted, she shouted back to the group. “She's right there.”

The others wasted no time. Raj and Applejack rushed forward and grabbed the breach in the curtain of chain and hauled it to the side, opening a gap. Luna stepped up with a pronounced stagger and slid her horn through the fence. Focusing, a thin beam of burning magenta lanced out and struck the panel of wood Rarity had lit. The magic washed over the wood for a moment before exploding outward into smoky flinders.

The wind tore the cloud of smoke away and they could see a purple shape at the gap in the hull. Raj shouted “Rainbow-”

A streak of color shot past him, crossing the small gap between the ships in an instant.

“-Dash.” Raj finished as she slid to a halt on the deck, front hooves wrapped around a loopy unicorn. He let the gap rattle shut and yelled back. “We got her Topsail!”

The gruff pegasus gave no answer as the ship decelerated violently. Raj stumbled forward a few steps, the momentum of the boat bleeding off until the whole thing settled back onto itself. Everyone took a breath, grateful for the fact that the chase was over. Rajrishi watched the trio of pirate ships sail off and silently cursed them and their crew.

Twilight recovered quickly but still submitted to Fluttershy and Pinkie's medical care. She let out a wince as they affixed a thick bandage to her horn nub. Unsteadily she rose to her hooves and mumbled “I'm okay guys, really. It's fine. I'm fine.”

“Are you sure Twilight?” Fluttershy asked, a roll of bandages stretched between her hooves.

“Yes, I am. They didn't hurt me.” She looked up at her lopped off horn. “Well, any more than they did at first.”

“Well in that case...” Pinkie said with a leer before diving onto her friend and burying her in snuggles. “Twilight's back!”

The others took the cue and rushed in, consuming Twilight Sparkle in a mass of hugs, all of her friends voicing their relief at her return or just sobbing with joy. After a minute Spike came waddling up, tears on his cheeks. The knot of ponies opened up and accepted the little dragon into the pile of affection.

Spike clutched to her leg and buried his face into her coat. “I- I'm sorry I didn't, I couldn't keep him from-”

“Shh, shhh Spike.” Twilight comforted the little drake. “It's not your fault, you did everything you could. Nobody thinks you didn't do everything you could.”

Raj squirmed uncomfortably, feeling like he was intruding on something private. He looked over at Luna who was simply standing with a quiescent smile on her face. He tried to emulate the expression, failed, and chose to stand there looking completely out of place.

Topsail broke the mood when he stepped towards the group and shouted. “Alright, alright, we're all very excited to have everypony back. Now get below deck, all ya. We got a long steam to get back to Canterlot and it can't start soon enough.” he shouted to the crewponies. “Detach the armor!”

Twilight's eyes fluttered a bit and she sprang free of the cluster of friends, shaking a bit as a pulse of dizziness washed out of her horn. She recovered and said. “W-wait, we can't go back yet.”

“Belay that!” Topsail retracted and turned back to Twilight. “What're you on about girl?”

“Did you learn something on board the Rakshasa's vessel?” Luna added, far more diplomatically.

“Bakasura is here for the same reason we are. He's looking for Jolly Roger's treasure, and his ship.” She cried out, panic edging into her tone.

“I knew it!” Spike yelled excitedly.

“It's true, he did.” Raj confirmed.

“Let him.” Topsail said with a shrug. “The search'll kill him like it almost did us.”

“No, you don't understand, it's real. The ship, the treasure, Jolly Roger, all of it is true. And he knows where to find it.”

“How do you know this?” Raj said forcefully.

Twilight obliged. “Because I'm the one who told him where it is.”

* * *

Bakasura, fifty-ninth son of the Asura and Rakshasa Lord, was not happy.

The crew of his ship had long since learned what his displeasure looked like, and so gave him a wide berth and muttered to each other as they passed. Every few minutes a luckless individual would be required to ask him a question and he would give a terse, angry reply that would send them scampering off. The Aurochs were not so fearful and passed within arm's reach whenever they would pass, but none dare make contact. Forcing that issue would not be good of anyone on-board.

He closed his eyes and focused inwards, feeling the shapes locked inside. The tiger and eagle struggled strongly, as hale and hearty as ever. The crocodile and gorilla had recovered to usefulness, but still felt weak. The rest were sound aside from the hyena and squirrel, both of which sat in their cages motionless, dead.

A throaty growl rumbled out of him and a clutch of nearby goats jumped. Replacing the squirrel would be easy enough, though he always felt ridiculous chasing down vermin. The hyena would likely prove impossible to replace, the creatures being all but extinct. The fact that one of his ancient shapes was being truly denied to him made his clawed hands flex involuntarily.

He tamped down the anger with a conscious expression of will, forcing the emotion to level off. It'd been centuries since he'd been this angry. Not even the Master's War had upset him this much.

It was the sheer impudence of it, he realized, that irked him so badly. The war had been lost to the forces of the Faustmare's eldest daughter, an ancient Titanspawn like himself. A peer. That loss he could accept. This, this he refused to accept.

His fleet of vessels and crew of hundreds, countless bits of supply and materiel, had been destroyed by a flat-faced ape, a newborn dragon, an escaped slave-pony, a derelict Alicorn, and a bloated airship. They had burned his ships, killed his crew, and destroyed his forms, all without displaying an ounce of the respect he was due.

A failure such as this, at the hands of such indolent vermin, would be inexcusable. His brothers would see it in his mind, every moment of it. And for being so weak they would take his lands, his slaves, his wealth, everything. The only option left to him was to achieve victory. It, quite simply, had to happen.

When a blunted crossbow bolt clattered onto the deck, a coil of parchment wrapped around the shaft, he pounced on it. He tore it off the shaft and read through the letter, a silent prayer sounding in his mind. He read through the note, froze, and then read through it again. He went over it two more times and let out a rumbling, growling chuckle that seemed to unnerve the crew even more. He pointed at a nearby goat and ordered the ship lower, towards the floating mass of rock. The creature jumped and moved to comply, a quiet bleat of fear leaking from it. Bakasura's tiger face was split into a wide grin, excitement clear on his face.

He had it. It was here, the damned unicorn was right.

Relieved joy seeped up into him and sighed blissfully, a year's worth of tension leaking out of him. He imagined the ship, still solid after so many long years. He remembered the thrum of it under his feet, the shift of gravity as it banked into a hard turn. He could feel it already, so very close after so long.

He was shaken from his reverie when a goat ran up and tapped him on the hip. Not for the first time he considered simply killing it as an example to the others but then he noticed where it was pointing. He followed its direction and froze.

There, cresting through a layer of semi-solid cloud, was that damned sky-behemoth.

Its nose-cone was still crumbled and burns clung to the ablative armor, but the thing still exuded threat, even at such distance. The thing angled towards their position and started moving towards them.

Alarms went up among the three remaining ships, cries for battlestations and combat crews to get to positions. The deck of Bakasura's ship exploded into activity and the messenger goat turned and bleated for orders from his master.

The Rakshasa was gone though, already flying towards the floating mountain on the wings of an eagle.

* * *

Pinkie squinted into the telescope and jumped up. “Ooh! I see a birdy leaving that boat we blew a hole in.”

“That'd be him alright.” Raj confirmed. “That rock must have Jolly Roger's stuff in it.”

“Then why would he leave his ship?” Rarity asked. “Shouldn't he be defending the find?”

Rainbow Dash zipped in. “We've kicked his butt every time he's gotten in a straight fight with us, so he's just going to turn tail and run now that we're so close.”

Applejack spat on the deck. “Dang coward.”

“Fleeing a battle you cannot win is not cowardice Applejack, it is wisdom. And none would accuse a Rakshasa of idiocy.” Luna stated with a glare. “We will have to engage on the ground Captain.”

Raj replied with a nod as he surveyed the area. The rock itself was a bare, unremarkable formation the size of a city block. It hovered in the shadow of two much larger mountains, making it look tiny in comparison. A completely nondescript place to hide a lethal superweapon, which actually made a great deal of sense in retrospect. “Alright, one more.” He turned around and shouted back to the pilot's station. “Topsail, we need to get to that rock, quick as you can.”

Topsail squinted down at the trio of Junks maneuvering into combat formation and sighed. “Y'know, one of these days yer gonna have to ask me to do something easy Captain.” The Shipmaster yanked a few levers and the ship jerked forward as it accelerated.

“Um, I don't want to be a downer or anything.” Fluttershy said, her voice barely audible over the wind and the rattle of the fence. “But, well, what exactly are we going to do when we get there?”

“What're you talking about Fluttershy? We're gonna kick Bakasura's shapeshifting butt!” shouted Rainbow Dash with a few encouraging cheers from the crew.

“That's secondary.” Clarified Rajrishi. “Our goal is to secure the Vow of Poverty. That's priority one. Everything else is priority two.”

“So all we have to do is find the ship and keep it fer ourselves? Not gonna be easy.” Applejack drawled.

“Doesn't matter if its easy Applejack. Gotta be done.” Raj groused. “If we don't manage this, then a sworn enemy of Equestria gets a hold of an ancient, interstellar space boat capable of only god knows what. Twilight is too hurt to help, Spike won't leave her, and the crew are needed up here. The seven of us are the only ones that can do this. We are it. So let's get this done.”

The ponies nodded firmly and smiled at each other. Topsail shouted out “Ten seconds!” and they all started scrambling as the ship decelerated sharply.

A pair of crewponies ratcheted open the gap in the chain-link and the lot of them sprang out. Raj looked down and felt a trill of terror as he looked down at the twenty feet of open air beneath him but he tamped that down as much he could.

Raj hit the surface of the boulder hard and went into a roll, coming up in a crouch. Rainbow landed heavily and flung Applejack out of her arms. The Earth Pony reached out to take the weight on her bad leg on reflex and let out a bark of pain and collapsed. Raj moved to help but she was waving him off before he took a second step.

Fluttershy landed far more gracefully and set Rarity down daintily. Pinkie drifted on her balloon parachute almost weightlessly and the bunch detached seemingly of their own accord. Pinkie gave them a cheerful wave goodbye and hurried back to the group.

Rajrishi looked as the ship jetted away on a plume of colorless flame as the naval battle began in earnest, fire lancing out and from the Break of Day. He had absolute faith in Topsail and the crew, but he still felt a pang of worry for them. He yelled. “Spread out, find some sort of entrance.”

“Found it!” cried out Pinkie Pie after roughly fourteen seconds. Everyone looked over and saw her standing at the mouth of a staircase that led straight down, dark and completely unadorned. Raj saw a large boulder nearby that would serve as a perfect cover for the stair, likely removed by Bakasura.

“Good work Pinkie.” Raj said, not questioning the providence or the speed of the discovery. He drew his axes and took a few steps down the passage. Everypony else fell into line behind him and they all moved with nervous speed. When the darkness wrapped around them, the two magical horns in the group lit up to illuminate their way.

After about fifty steps Raj saw the first sprung trap. A panel of the wall had broken away and the opposite wall had a trio of darts stabbed into it. A few steps down, a fourth dart sat with a thin slick of black blood on it. Raj indicated it with his head. “Careful of that.”

“Oh my.” hissed Rarity as she studied the bloody scene. “That is absolutely fiendish.”

“The trap works in our favor, grisly as it is.” Luna pointed out as she cleared away the projectiles. “Whatever may slow Bakasura is a boon to us.”

“Still got a lead on us though. We need to pick it up.” muttered Applejack.

They did so, and hit a landing after another fifty steps. The small landing terminated against a vault door that had its mechanism cut out by more than a dozen slashes that were still warm to the touch. Raj grabbed the handle to the vault door and threw it open with a grunt. He looked on the other side and paused.

It was a room about the size of a football field. Dozens of pillars supported the high ceiling, each one surrounded by heavy duty shelves that reached just as high. Each one, without exclusion, was filled with treasure.

Gold and gems sat heavy on each shelf, any attempt at organization abandoned in the face of such sheer volume. Coins mounded up into waist high hillocks formed paths through the wealth. Crowns studded with gems larger than the hope diamond sat discarded like scraps off a plate and garlands of pearls the size of grapes looped over wall sconces that were fitted with glowstones that still cast off faint light.

Stranger things beyond riches were foisted here and there. Sculptures of odd colors depicted creatures Rajrishi did not have the vocabulary to readily describe stood next to a humming glass portrait of a hairy hunched thing that looked to be in the process of shaping the art while still being a part of the art. Raj saw a rack of weapons holding a spear with a loop in the middle, a sword with a blade he could only see in his peripheral vision, and a long hafted hammer with a head the size of a cinder block.

All of them, even Luna, simply stared at the impossible amount of wealth and strangeness for a solid minute. Pinkie broke the silence by simply whispering. “Wowee.”

Raj stuck his hand into a stack of gold coins and pulled it back, letting the money dribble through his fingers. “Holy crap. This has all just been... sitting here?”

“I suppose it has.” answered Rarity, an emerald the size of a mango in her horngrip. “I didn't even know this much wealth actually existed. It must have taken Jolly Roger centuries to steal all this.”

“Mine earrings!” yelled Princess Luna as she floated up to a shelf, a pair of exquisitely made amethyst earrings in her hoof. “That fiend must have taken them from my nightstand after...” she looked sideways at her companions. “We left them there.” Rarity's face split into a smile, a thousand questions springing to her mind at once.

A low grinding sound came from further down the room and Rajrishi suddenly recalled why they were all there. He started down the aisle to look when the gold next to him exploded upwards, the top half of a pink pony protruding from it. She pointed a hoof and chirped. “He's over there, near some door thingy.” Pinkie then dove back into the gold and somehow started to breast-stroke through it.

Raj broke into a sprint and saw Bakasura standing in front of a circular door that was irising open slowly. The Rakshasa saw him coming, paused, and drew his sword.

“Rainbow, far side of the room!” Raj called out and the blue pegasus responded in an instant and rushed forwards, weaving her way between the pillars with uncanny grace. Bakasura saw her coming but wasn't fast enough to react before she slammed a hoof into his face. The Rakshasa staggered and swiped with his scimitar but she had already flapped out of reach.

Rajrishi used that time to close in, axes out. Bakasura backpedaled and planted a foot on a clear shelf, vaulting himself into the air. His form shivered and an orange striped tiger fell down on Raj, growling and spitting. Raj blocked with his arms, defending himself from the beast's foreclaws and maw as it forced him to the ground. The thing curled up its hindlegs and started to rake, razor sharp running along his chest and belly, the claws catching on something resilient under his jacket and failing to find flesh.

Grimacing in pain, Raj curled a punch into the thing's ribs, forcing the breath out of it. He struck again in the same spot and felt his fist sink all the way to his wrist. Bakasura roared up a gout of blood and stopped thrashing long enough for Raj to plant his feet on its chest and sent him flying. The creature transformed back in midair, spun to grab hold of a golden saucer and hurled it like a frisbee. The disc hit Raj square in the forehead and he flopped back to the ground with a strangled garble.

Bakasura stepped forward to finish off the prone human. A beam of azure energy burned into the wall near his head and he jumped back. Further up the aisle, Applejack, Luna, Fluttershy and Rarity were sprinting to catch up, offensive magic boiling on Luna and Rarity's horns.

The Rakshasa sneered and looked between the closing group and the stunned human. Visibly annoyed, he hopped off the pile and retreated through the opening door. He grabbed at a lever on the other side and yanked it down, reversing the mechanism.

Raj sat up groggily, his thoughts coming in through a haze. Rarity shook him lightly and asked again. “Rajrishi, are you alright?”

“M'fine.” He slurred and meant it, the cloud in his mind already fading. He looked down at the shredded remnants of his coat and ran a hand over the gleaming metal links protecting his torso. “Armor held up beautifully.”

Rarity failed to keep the smug grin off of her face as she said. “Well, that would be why I made it for you darling. Fluttershy and I, I mean.” The yellow pegasus heard her name and looked away shyly.

A vicious curse drew their attention back to the task at hand as Luna pawed at the closed door. “Curse that lascivious charlatan's engineering!”

“What? What's wrong?” Raj asked as he got up.

“We have no idea how to open this door.” She planted a hoof on it and ran it along the scalloped surface, finding no buttons or controls of any kind.

“Then how did he get through?” Raj asked as he studied it himself.

“If we knew that, then we would be able to do it ourselves Captain.” Luna said coolly.

“Rainbow, other exits.” Raj ordered.

“On it!” The blue pegasus flapped hard and disappeared in a streak of color. After a few seconds she slid to a halt and shook her head. “Nope, just this one and the way we came in. Sorry.”

“Shit!” Raj shouted and stomped a foot, cracking the stone under his foot.

“Well, we don't got time to figure out no fancy lock. Let's just smash it down and get on with it.” Applejack drawled and reared a leg back to kick it.

“That won't work Applejack.” Luna said as she raised a hoof between her and the door. “We recognize this stone. It is Adamant.”

Pinkie hopped next to her. “I don't care how stubborn it is, let's break it down!”

Luna looked at her in mild confusion for an instant before saying. “Not the adjective, the material. The stone is called Adamant, the same material the doors of Tartarus are constructed of. It will not break so easily. We will have to ascertain the mechanism behind it.”

“Can't you just teleport past it?” Raj asked, anger edging his voice.

“That is not a discipline we have studied Captain.” She said tersely. “Unless you have some glaring insight into this problem please remain silent while we determine how to open this."

“I got a better idea.” Raj rushed to the back of the treasure chamber and returned a minute later hefting the enormous hammer over one shoulder.

Luna glared at him. “We told you Captain, this door cannot be broken. It is made of Adamant.”

Raj pushed her out of the way. “Yeah, but the wall next to it isn't.”

He swung the hammer in a wide arc, the enormous head of the weapon picking up an odd hum as it sang through the air. It struck hard and some unknowable energy passed from the swing into the wall, discordant vibrations shaking the stone hard enough Raj felt the ground buck up underneath him. The wall itself shook apart and exploded away from him, a blast of dust blowing back at him and the others as debris filled the hall beyond.

That was a bit surprising to Raj and he stood in dumb shock for an instant, staring at the narrow hole in the rock he'd smashed open. After a second, the rock shifted dangerously, threatening to close the gap. Moving quickly and ignoring every screaming instinct from his lizard brain, he threw the hammer ahead and dove into the gap, squirming to get through before he was crushed. The others shouted after him, reaching uselessly as the rocks shifted shut behind his retreating boots.

Raj fell to the stone, coughing and sputtering up dust. He staggered to his feet, looked around, and froze.

This space dwarfed the previous chamber, easily ten times the size. Much of that was empty space or occupied by a still lake of water that glowed with a layer of luminous algae along the bottom. The walls were sheer aside from a single, open passage the size of a garage door, small and almost impossible to notice from the outside if you didn't know where to look. Down a brief staircase from the door was an ancient stone dock, and sitting at that dock was the Vow of Poverty.

The first thought Raj had was that the museum had been very close to right. The thing was small, maybe only thirty feet long and had the general shape of a ship but came to a much more needle-like point. It lacked any masts or fins of any kind but instead had what Raj recognized as jets or thrusters along the curve of the hull and some sort of spiral shaped rotor at the rear.

It was sleek and alien. More importantly, it was on.

Puffs of light shot from the small jets and the rotor twitched and shook. Near the rear of the ship, Bakasura was frantically working at a control panel of some sort, getting the ship to readiness.

“Captain!” Raj heard a muffled voice shout through the rubble. “Captain, are you alive?”

“M'fine.” He said again, staring at the ship in something close to awe.

“Excellent.” He heard her say alongside scraping of rocks.

“Stay where y'are, we're digging through quick as we can. We'll be there in a minute, so jess wait a spell.”

“Not really an option Applejack.” Raj hefted up the giant hammer. “I have to go.” He rushed off, their answering shouts lost to the stone and distance.

Book Three: Dagger Days

Raj took a deep breath and shook at the cold quiver in his lungs, the air coming back out in a long spume of mist that hung in the still, winter air. He looked up at the skeletal arms of the Everfree, the narrow branches gnarled and grasping. Dust-fine snow clung to them, as if the trees had sought to jealously replace the lost leaves with whatever they could reach.

He continued forward, the great hammer Gate Maker laid lazily over one shoulder. This was nothing more than a bush patrol, a simple search of the outer forest because somepony had seen something lurking in their fields. Likely a deer out foraging or a stubborn badger. He wasn't worried, everything really dangerous was hibernating through the winter deeper in the forest.

Sliding down a small embankment, he called back over his shoulder. “Be careful Ben. It's steep.”

“I will Dad.” his son shot back as he matched Raj's motions. Ben hit the ground hard and stumbled, letting out a short grunt. He was back on his feet in a second and brushing snow off his pants. “I'm fine.”

“I know you are son.” he answered back and continued forward.

His son scurried ahead of him, blazing a trail through the high snow, Crescent held in his eager grip. Raj smiled at his son's back and said. “Keep close and mind the brambles. They may be frozen but they're still sharp.”

“Okay Dad.” He said back, eyeing the purple tangles cautiously.

They continued forward in companionable silence, Raj simply grateful to be spending time with his son. He knew how fleeting this time was, the brief moments when Ben was almost, just almost, no longer a child. Soon, the boy would be infected with teenage contempt and any time he spent with him would be met with begrudging tolerance rather than enthusiasm. He hoped that this short day trip would be something they could talk about for years to come.

“Hey Dad, look at this.” Raj shook out of his thoughts and looked over at his son who was intently pointing at a section of ground in the shadow of a tree.

Raj hustled over to see a deep print mark. Cloven hooves cut through the dense layer of white, just a little smaller than his palm. Raj stared down at the track, working out the math in his head to figure out how big this boar was and not liking the result.

“What is it Dad?” Ben asked, a hopeful note in his voice.

“Giant Boar track. Big one from the looks of it.” He shrugged and looked around. “Maybe fifteen feet from snout to tail.”

“Aw cool! Are we gonna hunt it?” He asked delightedly, that hopeful note having grown quite a bit.

“If we need to. It's tracks are leading into the Everfree. We'll follow it for a bit, see if it keeps that way. If it does, we'll leave it be.”

“And if it turns back?” the boy asked.

“Then we go home,” he paused, rubbing at his head as he felt a sudden twinge of pain. “and then I come back by myself to deal with it.”

“But Daa~aad.” Ben whined, want deep in his voice.

“Don't whinge at me like that Benjamin. I'm not going to put you in danger just so you have something cool to put on instagram or whatever. Now come on, we've only got a few hours of daylight left. Stay where I can see you.”

“Yes Dad.” he said with a touch of teen weariness. Raj wanted to feel annoyed by his attitude, but he couldn't tamp down the pride he felt when he looked at his son.

The boy stepped lightly through the snow ahead, bow held low with a silver shaft resting on the string. He'd taken to the thing with a kind of aplomb Raj could only dream of, nocking, drawing, and loosing with rarefied talent. More than the skill, he'd grown so much in the last year. Only thirteen and already coming up past his shoulder, Raj knew the boy would have his height, but by looks of it his mother's more solid frame. Tall, strong, and ever so slightly darker skinned, he was sure the boy would be beating girls off with a stick before long.

Raj diverted to follow his son's path and stopped, a strange thought hitting him.

“There's, wait... girls? What girls?” He mumbled to himself as a powerful sense of vertigo struck him. He let out a grunt of discomfort and leaned against a tree, a painful buzzing sounding in his ears.

Ben turned around and said, “Dad? What's wrong?”

Raj leaned heavily on the tree and looked at his son. “There are... there are no girls here Ben.”

The boy looked flabbergasted and stammered out. “D-Dad, there... I know that. It's just me and you here.” He glanced around desperately, fear plain on his features. “I'll, I'll go get help Dad. Stay here!”

Rajrishi grabbed his arm and pulled him closer. “There are no, there's nobody else here. No other humans why did I... how are you? How did you get here?”

“Dad, you're scaring me.” Ben said fearfully, tears brimming in his eyes.

Raj clutched at his head for a moment, his mind swimming, before shouting out to the gray sky. “Luna!”

Everything froze. The snow in the air, the wind on his face, everything went completely still in an instant. Ahead of him, reality fell flat on its back, like the set of a play breaking apart to reveal a vast, smoking void of nothing behind it. The world to his left, right, and behind fell away in an identical fashion and the tree he was leaning against deflating like a balloon, shrinking down into nothing as the snow beneath his feet blew away into the void.

The last to go was his frozen son, breaking apart into thousands of flat, colored shards like an impossibly complex model rendered by polygons. He watched until the last of the simulacrum melted away and he said again. “Luna.”

The Princess of the Night was there suddenly, her presence somehow not startling despite its immediacy. She flicked her tail in something like annoyance and said. “What was the flash?”

“A lot of things. I started thinking about my wife and it seemed strange that she wasn't here, and Ben's voice wasn't quite right.”

Luna shrugged. “It's almost been a year, I assumed puberty might be deepening his tone.”

“Fair guess. So what's your dumbass plan with all this?”

Luna visibly chafed at the casual insult but pressed onward. “Our plan, was to lead the both of you into a confrontation with the boar, which would turn out to be rabid. A thrilling conflict against an uncomplicated foe alongside your son seemed like it would be a cathartic experience.”

Raj scowled. “You were going to endanger my life and my son's because you thought it might make me feel better?”

Luna rolled her eyes. “Calm thineself Captain. Your progeny was naught but a projection, and if any serious harm had come to you thou would have simply woken up. No harm can come upon a being in a dream.”

“Not even you?”

“Neigh.”

“Shame that.” In a sudden explosion of movement, Raj swung Gate Maker, striking Princess Luna squarely in the head faster than she could react, the power of the strangely enchanted hammer amplifying the energy of the swing tremendously.

What happened next was distinctly odd. He had the distinct memory of the shock of the hit running up his arm and seeing Luna's head blow apart from the sheer force of the attack. He also remembered having never swung at all, the hammer dissipating into nothing in his hands as Luna gave him a sour smirk. Both memories occupied the same space in his mind, overlapping but not overriding each other.

Luna tossed her mane and glared. “That was entirely uncalled for Captain.”

“Was it?” Raj spat back, leaning down to get to eye level with her. “I told you. I told you to stay out of my head. After the last time, I told you I didn't want you diving in and mucking around with my dreams.”

Luna stared at him coolly and said. “If thou wish to be specific, mortal minds wander to the realm of dreams upon slumber. It does not reach out to thou. Therefore, technically-”

Raj cut her off with a shout. “Do I sound like I give a shit about technicals?!”

They stood in silence for a few moments, the only thing betraying Luna's frustration a slight clenching of her jaw. “No, no it does not.”

He spun and flung his hands up. “Hey, she can learn. Fancy that crap.”

Another beat of silence passed between them before Luna responded. “Cap... Rajrishi, though my efforts were unwanted, they were not unwarranted.”

Raj let out a sigh and turned around. “Luna, I really do not want to do this right now.”

“Thine mood and demeanor has darkened in the last weeks. Ever since our expedition to the Shattered Lands thine dreams have reflected a troubled mind. This was our attempt to remedy that. We have found that pleasant, cathartic dreams improve overall mood and happiness in the waking hours.” She huffed lightly, “Had we conjured a more convincing play, we have not doubt such would have occurred.”

“So you were trying to make me feel better, is that it?” Luna nodded. “And you were going to do that by giving me a fantasy where I brought my son to an alien planet with no hope of normalcy, family, or a meaningful life?” He pointed an accusing finger at her. “This, this right here, this is why nobody likes you. This is why you have no friends.”

If the insult landed, Princess Luna gave no sign of it as she pushed forward, “Rajrishi, do not stew in your frustrations. We have read the reports from the engineering corp, about their progress on the Vow of Poverty.”

“You mean the lack of progress?” he sneered at her, “Three weeks, they've been working on that thing for three full weeks, twenty four hours a day with the best minds in Equestria, and all they've managed to do is remove a single screw. One, singular. And they were amped up about it. Ratchet said that he's already trying to publish a paper on the breakthrough. All over one screw.” He held a single black finger up as he slowly walked away towards the void. “I'll be lucky if they have any understanding of that damn boat in my lifetime.”

“You could lend your own mechanical expertise to the process. We know that you were an engineer 'pon your own world. Mayhap your differing knowledge will hasten discovery.”

Raj shook his head and laughed lightly. “I'm not allowed near the thing. The ponies in charge the project are worried that my stupid arcane resistance will spoil some mechanism of the thing. They don't want it getting any more broken before they find out what broke on it in the first place.”

“Ah, that is unfortunate.” Princess Luna said back, her eyes cast downwards.

“Yeah, it is.” Raj let out a sigh. “So there we go Princess, now you get it. Do you have any practical options for me to pursue, or should I just indulge in some feel good shadow-play and pretend my problems don't exist, huh? What should I do?”

The Princess of the night stared at him mutely for a minute and muttered, “I do not know, Rajrishi.”

Raj raised his arms and leaned forwards. “Welcome to my every day since I've come to this damn planet.” He laughed lightly and walked off in a short loop before saying, “Whatever, I'm done with this conversation. Stay out of my dreams Princess. The only place I want to see you is meatspace, understand?”

Luna let out a sharp breath and nodded. “We do Captain. Your dreamspace shall remain yours from now on. You have our word.”

“Great. Now wake me up.”

Luna blinked. “Captain, you have only been slumbering for a few short hours-”

“Oh my god, fine.” Raj stretched out an arm, clenched his hand, and punched himself directly in the face.

* * *

Raj snorted awake and shook, eyes fluttering. He sat up on his small bed and clutched his forehead, coming back to wakefulness. He scrunched his eyes and felt a flash of pain in his face.

He dabbed under his nose and came away with a sheen of blood on his finger. He scoffed, “Can't get hurt in a dream my ass.”

Remembering When it Didn't Hurt

“And then I came here to talk to you.” Raj finished as he leaned back against the tree, watching the zebra work.

“Interesting my friend.” hummed Zecora as she sliced a layer of bark from a tree with a mouthful of sickle. “Though an unwise target, a Princess is to offend.”

Raj sighed. “Yeah, I know. I wasn't in the best headspace at the time. Seeing my son like that, and knowing it was a manipulation. I was pretty mad.”

“The incident was tense, so anger makes sense.” She slid a layer of bark into her saddlebag and moved to another tree. “Have you told Twilight of your fight?”

“No, and I'm not looking forward to it. The princesses are an instant spaz button for Twilight, and if I told any of our other friends about it they'd have to keep it from her and most of them are terrible at that.” Raj paused for a moment before adding, “And... it hasn't been a good month.”

“I see. So why come speak with me?”

“I trust you. And you're smart and mature.” He shrugged. "There's not a lot of that around Ponyville."

“Good enough. What has you in such a huff?” She asked as the started ambling back to her hut.

Raj walked alongside her, using his giant hammer as a walking stick. “You heard about what happened in the Shattered Lands?”

“The pirates, the boat, the evil spirit, and the goats. Yes I heard of what occurred.”

“Yeah, well, it didn't go so great. A bunch of ponies died, a bunch of sailor goats and cows died, and then an ancient monster died. The only thing that came from that damn expedition was this.” He held out the giant hammer. “And I don't even know what this thing does.”

Zecora studied it for a second. “It is a hammer. I believe that is your answer.”

“Well, Gate Maker does that very well, yeah, but there's more to it than that. We think Jolly Roger pillaged it from some other world, one with different magic than Equestria. Twilight had me hit a pressure plate with it and a similarly weighted lump of metal. Gate Maker hit somewhere in the neighborhood of three times as hard, and I wasn't checking my swing. The thing amplified the force somehow. Twilight thinks it gathers up kinetic energy as I carry it around and then expends it as I swing it, but she can't be sure.” Raj explained.

Her eyes narrowed as she studied the flat, brushed metal of the head. “Quite the prize, but I still see disappointment in your eyes.”

“I wasn't going there to find a new weapon. That ship I was hunting for was supposed to get me home. And now, well, now I'm stymied again. The engineers are moving slow, Twilight can't do anything until her horn grows back, and I don't know any way I can help myself. I'm just... stuck.”

“Being unable to progress causes us all distress. When I was a child, for a year I went wild. Waiting to become a shaman in the ritual of rain caused me much pain.” she paused for a moment, “Though our situations are hardly the same.”

“Yeah, you can say that again.” Raj sighed and studied the icy trees overhead. “I don't know. I've never been in a spot where there was nothing I could do to affect my situation. Where everything depends on others and I do not like the feeling. Maybe Luna had the right idea, I just need something to distract myself. If all I can do is nothing, then that nothing should at least be entertaining.”

Zecora rolled her eyes up in thought. “For that, I might have just the thing. Follow me, Sage of Kings.”

Raj stopped in his tracks and looked after her. “Wait, I only told Spike what my name actually means. How did you do that?”

Zecora offered nothing but a smoky smile as she pushed open the door to her small hut. Raj grumbled to himself as he ducked into the small space and sat on a stool. The place had not significantly changed since he had seen it last, aside from the gummed up windows to ward off the chill. He sat quietly as the zebra dug into a box and drew out a large, square bottle. She carried it over to him and set it in his lap. He studied the green oil inside and asked. “Alright, I'll bite. What is this?”

“Memory potion. Relive the past with clean emotions. A drop of blood will tie it you, then take a steep drought of the brew.” She rhymed at him, the meter sounding like something she learned a long time ago.

“Wait, this thing will let me relive a memory? Would that work with my arcane resistance?”

Zecora thought about it for a moment and shrugged.

“Right, I'm the only thing in the world that does that, so how would you know.” He muttered.

“I use it to remember old lessons from my youth, but it also provides feelings that sooth. Recalling better times, when life was in its prime. It is a feeling that most find quite appealing.”

“I bet.” He considered the bottle in his hands for a moment and added, “Though, I think I know a better use for it.”

* * *

“You want us to what?” Applejack asked.

“I want you seven to drink this magic stuff a lady in the woods gave me so we can have a shared hallucination of when I came to Equestria.” Raj explained.

Rarity leaned in and tapped the square bottle. “And, why exactly do you want us to do this?”

“I don't remember much from that night. Just a light behind me and then waking up with my car smashed and a hot arch behind me. Zecora says that this potion might be able to show me what happened during the time I'm missing.”

Pinkie snatched the bottle and inspected the bottle. “Hmm, looks like wheatgrass, which is yucky. So I'm not digging it.”

“Why did she only tell you about this now?” Spike asked him.

Raj looked annoyed for a moment. “Jive is not the best way to express specific information. It took me an hour to get Zecora to tell me exactly how this stuff works. I take a swig, and then each of you take a small hit quickly after. Then, within about ten minutes, I'll faint away quickly and the rest of you will follow. From there, we go through whatever memory I was trying to focus on. Easy peasy.”

“What if whatever happened to you was scary, or dangerous?” Fluttershy asked with a shiver, “Maybe there's a reason you don't remember it.”

“That is a worry Fluttershy. Zecora did say that whatever I physically felt would be felt by me and anyone I brought with. I wasn't hurt badly, so we won't have to worry about that, but I can't say it'll be fine since I don't know.” He looked at each of them sympathetically. “I'm not going to make any of you do it if you don't want to, but I would be very grateful for more eyes to look around.”

“Well I know that I am absolutely in!” Twilight shouted as she danced slightly. “Being able to actually see Earth! I wonder if I'll be able to take notes, probably not but I'm going to try.” She focused for a moment and launched a single spark from her blunted horn nub. She winced and clutched at her head for a second before simply grabbing her notebook in her mouth, eyes still smiling.

“This sounds pretty awesome, so I'm in.” Rainbow said from overhead, “Provided, of course, that when I get a supply of questionable stuff I want to try, you have to sit with me through it.” Raj nodded and the lowered herself onto a cushion. "Great, let's go."

Applejack settled in on a pillow and doffed her hat. “You know me sugarcube, I'm always eager to help family.”

Everypony else eventually murmured their assent and they settled into somewhere they could feasibly pass out. Raj poured himself a tall cup of the green oil and passed the bottle to Rarity who filled seven shot glasses with the stuff. Raj raised his cup in a toast and said “Cheers.” before gulping it down.

It tasted the way burning plastic smelled and he struggled to get it all down. A moment later murmurs of discomfort and general disgust told him nobody else in the room found it palatable either.

Raj leaned back in his chair and said. “Well, now all there is to do is-”

* * *

He was home. Suddenly and inexplicably home.

It was dark, but a thin line of moonlight lit the bedspread where a doppelganger of himself laid beside the mound of blankets over his wife. He stood over her, studying her sleeping face. Air choking in his throat, he reached out to touch her.

What happened was... curious. He was certain he stood less than a foot away from her, but his arm couldn't reach her, like he'd misjudged the distance.

“No haptic feedback.” he heard a voice say next to him and turned to see Twilight standing on the bedspread, her hooves not bowing the blankets even slightly. “The hallucination is strictly visual and auditory. We can't touch or be touched by anything.” She reached down. "But we can stand on and examine things? Hmm, weird."

“Aww, that's no fun.” groaned Pinkie as she desperately tried to bounce on the bed.

“Wow, this is freaky.” Spike said, whispering on instinct as he was in a room with sleeping people. He looked in a tall mirror and failed to see his reflection. “I don't like it.”

“Enough about that everypony.” Applejack yelled. “We're here to see what's what with how Raj got here, so start looking around. We don't know what might be important.”

That got everyone back on task and they started studying the whole room. Rainbow inspected the ceiling fan while Pinkie dug through the closet. Rarity critiqued the bedspread and curtain colors while Spike rooted around under the bed.

Raj just kept staring at his wife.

Fluttershy sidled up next to him and looked down at her with him. She sucked in a breath and asked. “Is this... her?”

“Yeah.”

“She's beautiful.”

Raj studied his wife, one eye half open and the entire side of her face plastered to the pillow by drool. “Yeah.”

The door creaked open and they all heard it equally, the sense information being passed along to everyone at the same volume. Twilight and Spike darted over to the door and studied the small figure padding into the room. “Who is this? Is this the one that kidnapped you?”

Raj shot the dragon a withering glance. “No. That's my son.”

“Hey Dad.” he faintly heard, a fog of sleep making it sound distant. “Hey Dad... I'm sorry.”

Memory Raj sat up with a faint groan, the covers sliding off of him. “Ben?”

“Dad... I'm sorry.”

The tone of his son's voice sparked him to wakefulness instantly and his eyes focused. His hand searched for the button to the light. It flicked on and Mari hissed in sleepy consternation, rolling over and away from the assault.

Memory Raj looked at his son, concern knitting his brow, and he saw his boy standing there in his winter coat and boots over a bare torso and legs. His eyes softened into something chastising and he said. “Banjo got away again?”

“Mm-hmm.” the boy nodded, lips pressed into a thin line.

“Benjamin Robert Singh, how many times have I told you to take the dog out before you go to bed? So he doesn't wake you up in the middle of the night to pee?” Memory Raj scolded.

“I don't know.” He said quietly, eyes diverted. “A lot.”

“And did you? Did you take him into the yard before going to bed?”

“I did Dad, I promise.” The young boy pleaded.

“So if I check his paw towel, it'll be wet? From when you wiped him off?” Memory Raj asked back with a bit of side-eye.

Ben froze, eyes going wet again. “Ummm...”

“That's what I thought. Go back to bed, you have school in the morning.” He swung his legs off of the bed and pulled a pair of pants out of the hamper. “I'll go get your dog. He's probably just at the radio field down the block. That's where he was last time.”

“I can help!” Ben insisted.

“You've done plenty tonight. I'll put him in your room when I get back. Go to your room and go back to sleep. Now.” Memory Raj ordered.

Ben hiccupped out, “I-I'm sorry Dad.” before trudging back to his room sobbing.

The ponies stared at Raj mutely. Rajrishi just stared forward, clutching at his chest with a wide-eyed look. A weight hit his hip and he looked down to see Fluttershy and Pinkie hugging his waist. He put a hand on one of them and shook his head. “Time for that later. Keep your eyes open.”

Memory Raj got dressed in the previous days clothes and pulled on a pair of his army boots after digging in the closet for them.

“You seemed to be looking for those shoes specifically. Why them?” Twilight asked him as Memory Raj pulled on his toggle coat.

“Best footwear for chasing an animal through an icy field by moonlight. Banjo did this a lot. He knew he was too much dog for Ben to handle on his own so he would run the leash and go off on his own when he had the chance. This was the third time this month. It's why I... it's why I yelled at him like that. He... Ben should know better.”

Memory Raj moved into the rest of the house, searching a kitchen and a mudroom for something. Without prompting, Raj explained. “I'm looking for the keys to my wife's car. She was parked in the garage and it had been snowing. I don't find them, but I spent about ten minutes looking. Case the house.”

They group of them did just that, looking on shelves, bookcases, drawers when they were opened, everywhere they could. After ten minutes, Memory Raj started grumbling and went outside. The cold hit each of them equally, another feeling that was filtered through the magic of the potion and they loitered about as Memory Raj brushed and scraped his car clean enough to drive.

Twenty minutes later, he was finally able to back out onto the icy street and head down the block, a collection of illusory hitchhikers riding in the cab and on the roof. Pinkie tried to fiddle with the knobs for the radio and heat while Twilight bombarded him with questions about the vehicle, all of which he rebuked readily. No other cars lit the road, the weather and the late hour keeping everyone in their homes.

Memory Raj turned the car onto the service road that cut through the field beneath a trio of radio towers and opened the passenger door.

Twilight pointed up at the radio towers and asked, “Raj, what're those?”

The aerial lights pulsed weakly and Fluttershy added. “It's kinda spooky.”

“Don't worry, those things are harmless. They're radio towers. You know those signals we were trying to intercept with that big spell a couple of weeks ago? Those are the things we use to send and receive them.” Twilight nodded and desperately wanted a notebook to write on.

“Something's coming!” They heard Rainbow shout from her position way up high. A moment later a snow-covered lab bounded into the cab, a long leash dangling from his collar. Banjo gave Memory Raj a panting, doggy grin that he met with an icy glare. The dog ignored his contempt and came close enough to lick his face.

Memory Raj pushed the animal into the backseat and turned back down the service road grumbling to himself. As they hit the road proper, Raj said, “This is where my memory starts to go fuzzy.”

The shared hallucination did not waver in the slightest however. “B-but we're still going.” Spike stuttered.

“Yeah, we are.” Raj stared out the window, amazed by this bizarre experience. “This is brand new territory everyone, keep your eyes open, anything could be important.”

All the ponies present set themselves to studying the terrain, either pressing their faces to windows or squinting towards the horizon like lookouts on a ship. Raj, however, studied himself, watching his past doppelganger for any action.

A hard light hit Memory Raj in the eyes. He grunted and looked up at the rear view mirror to see a point of brilliant light chasing up the road. Muttering about highbeams, Raj pulled closer to the side of the road, making room for the other car to pass as he slumped down to avoid the stinging light.

“Something's behind us!” Rainbow shouted. “Something weird.”

Banjo started barking madly, bouncing around in the seat. Memory Raj turned around the yell at the dog and saw the light. Raj clamored into the backseat, squinting at the pursuing entity.

It was a rough orb, close to the size of his car. What he thought was a powerful headlight was actually just the whole of the thing, a flickering brilliance that clung to an uneven nest of luminous coils. As it drew closer to the bumper, they all felt an unearthly vibration rattle their teeth and heard a dull, pulsing roar coming from the thing, like malevolent laughter.

Everyone present started sputtering questions, suddenly terrified and alarmed. Rainbow bravely flew closer to get a better look and started screaming. Applejack leaped off to help her but hit the pavement badly and went into a long, torturous roll before Rarity lit her magic and pulled her up from the road.

Spewing vulgarities, Memory Raj stepped on the accelerator and flew down the icy road. He kept his gaze locked ahead, going faster than was wise for the weather but still not fast enough. His eyes flicked back to the radiance chasing him every few seconds, the mass of light closer every time. Banjo stood up in the back facing the rear window, doing his canine best the dissuade the otherworldly entity chasing them by barking at it.

Raj reached out and grabbed everyone he could in his arms and shouted. “Everyone, hold on!”

After a minute of tense, white knuckle chasing, the mass overtook them.

Terrible, unearthly cold shot through each of them, filling their beings down to the marrow. Each of them could see for a trillion miles in all directions, through the shadows of dead stars and the glowing cowl of nebulae, burning with colors their eyes could not see. Each tried to breathe, but there was no air there. Each tried to move, but space and motion were abstract ideas. Beyond their senses, beyond any presentation of sense at all, they felt vast, godly perceptions fall upon each of them for an instant, and that instant of judgment shattered them into atoms.

Then the air boomed, and they were all whole again.

“What the f-” Memory Raj's curse was cut short when the car hit the ground and bounced up at him. Everyone was screaming, everyone except Memory Raj bouncing around the cab or holding onto the roof for dear life. Memory Raj's seatbelt strained against his chest and he lost grip on the wheel as the car slewed out of his control. He saw a looming trunk of a tree for an instant and then were all struck in the face by a searing hot haymaker.

Then there was nothing, no sensation filtered into their perceptions. They had gone from peaceful car ride to dead stop on an alien planet in about sixty seconds.

Pinkie draped herself along the edge of a broken window and spewed vomit all over the forest floor. She groaned out, “Raj, I puked on your memories. Sorry.”

“I'm right there with you Pinkie.” He burbled out, the rapid shifting sensations causing no end of discomfort.

“What was that?” asked Rarity as she limply pulled herself off the floor of the car. “Were, were we dead for a moment? I distinctly remember ceasing to exist. Does anyone else remember non-existence?”

“I want to go home.” said Spike flatly from where he was curled up in the back window.

They gathered themselves together and took stock. No feeling was filtering through Memory Raj as he was completely passed out. They couldn't even hear the dog that was visibly barking inches away from his face. That was nearly a relief after what they had experienced. Nearly.

“Is everypony okay?” Twilight asked, her voice hoarse slightly.

A general murmur of assent passed through the group. Rarity asked, “Are we certain we're alive? Because I distinctly remember-”

“Uh, guys?” Spike tried to draw their attention.

“Yes Rarity, dang it, we're alive. We all remember that... thing happening but now it's over.” Applejack said.

“Yeah, and it didn't even happen to us for reals. It only happened to Rajrishishi.” Pinke pointed a hoof. “He's the only one that actually went through that.”

“And Banjo.” Fluttershy pointed out.

“Hey guys!” Spike shouted and pointed. “Look.”

Their attention turned back to see a tall, looped tree glowing fiercely behind the car. In the space beneath it, the space was filled with the same glowing, twisted nest of coils that had brought them there.

They lot stared at it for a few moments and slowly approached. The vibration and dull roar were not present, cutting down the menace of the thing significantly. They got close enough to study it and found that is was indeed made of coiling ropes of white light flickering to black, giving it the appearance of a wall of static.

“What is it?” Applejack asked as she tried to touch it.

“Don't know.” Rainbow said from further back. “But it's not as strong as it was before. When I got close it was strobing so fast it hurt.”

Twilight blanched. “If it was that bad it probably would have given you a seizure if it happened to our physical bodies.”

“That's comforting.” said Raj as he pushed a hand toward it. Now that he was studying it, he could see that it was visibly weakening, the light fading and the flicker dying out. When it finally faded, Raj couldn't say exactly when it disappeared.

The eight of them looked around the clearing and Pinkie piped up. “Now what?”

“Don't know. I was out for a while, the blood on my nose was dry when I woke up. I don't think the memory potion will last that-”

* * *

Consciousness hit them all like a sack of hot hammers. All eight bolted awake and them clutched at their heads in pain, letting out long croons of agony.

“Why brain?” Pinkie shouted as she rolled on her pillow. “Why do you do this to Pinkie?”

Spike laid bonelessly on the ground. “I feel like I ran a marathon and... oh crap. What time is it?

Fluttershy knocked a clock off the table with her tail and rolled her head to look at it. She sputtered out. “Oh my goodness, it's four in the morning?!”

Everyone cried out in disbelief. Twilight sat up and said, “We were in the hallucination for sixteen hours!”

“Oh goodness, I was supposed to pick up Sweetie Belle from-” She tried to stand and immediately flopped over onto her side with a groan. “Ohhh, Sweetie Belle!”

“She'll be fine.” Rainbow offered from her spot on the floor. “She's with Scootaloo. Scoots has street smarts.”

Applejack managed to get to her hooves enough to grab a cup of stale water off the table and drain it. She let out a relieve cough and asked. “Is this supposed to happen? Feeling like this?”

“No.” Raj said as he shook his head against the chair. “Zecora said waking up from it was gentle and didn't take long at all. I don't know if this was my arcane resistance or the memory or...” He wiped a hand down his face. “This was a mistake. I shouldn't have dragged you seven into this with me. I'm the worst.”

“Hey man, not your fault.” Rainbow toned from her spot. “You just got some bad stuff from your guy. It happens to everypony eventually.”

“What?” Raj asked weakly.

Rainbow flopped an arm over her eyes. “It was, I was trying to make a joke. Leave me alone, my brain is trying to escape.”

After five more minutes of pained lounging, Raj forced himself to his feet and set to the responsibility of bringing everyone water. Ten minutes later, he accomplished his task and everyone took it happily. Fluids helped with the feeling of malaise and everyone was more or less up after half an hour.

Twilight passed notebooks to everyone and told them to write down everything they could remember, and to not consult each other about what they had seen to keep their data as pure as possible. Initially, she wanted everyone to do it right then and there, but nobody was having that. Eventually, she relented and everypony went home, either to finally sleep or to tend to neglected responsibilities they had missed.

Twilight tried to write out her notes of the experience but sleep took her and Spike within minutes. Raj got them somewhere comfortable and then settled into his own bed. Staring at the ceiling, at the whirling patterns of wood, he smiled as he remembered his wife's perfect face.

Author's Note

Alternate title for the chapter was "Solving problems by sitting around and getting high", but that seemed deceitfully diffident.

Ancient Troubles

Raj rapped his knuckles on the door and leaned against the frame. After a few seconds it swung open and a wash of heat flowed out at him. Fluttershy looked up at him with bagged eyes and said, “Oh, hi Raj. I wasn't expecting you to be up yet.”

“Hey 'Shy, I didn't either.” He ducked down and into the cottage and closed the door behind him. He held up a sizable basket to the pegasus and said. “Care package, pancakes, hashbrowns, eggs, high energy stuff. Courtesy of Spike, figured you, Rarity, and RD might need some aid since you all live alone. Little guy's been cooking since he came to.”

“Well that's very nice of you both.” She took the handle in her mouth and carried it over to her roaring hearth. “I'll share mine with Rainbow when she wakes up.”

“Rainbow Dash is here?” His question was answered by a terrifically loud snore that tore its way from the upstairs of the cottage. “Holy crap does that girl have some lungs on her.”

“Yeah, she's always slept like that.” Fluttershy said wistfully, “She wasn't really up to flying to her cloud house, so she decided to stay here. She's been out like that since we got back.”

“What're you still doing up then?

“I haven't been able to sleep at all. I've just been half dozing in between hot baths.” She covered a hard yawn and wavered a bit.

“That sucks Fluttershy. I'm sorry.” Raj apologized.

She shrugged. “It's not so bad, I'm all caught up on everything I missed while we were out, I'm just loose on the details of exactly what I did.” She gave him a weak smile and moved slowly to the sitting area.

Raj followed her and lowered himself onto the couch. He leaned into a hand and asked, “Your animals weren't too neglected, were they?”

She shook her head. “Not at all. Most of my friends are hibernating through the winter, so it's most just Angel and me, and he can feed himself just fine.” The shell of a nut flew from the corner of the room and got stuck in her mane. “Though he doesn't really like to.”

“I bet.” He glared at the rabbit nestled in a small bed.

“Did the potion hit you really hard?” Fluttershy asked him.

“Well, now I don't think so. But yeah I'm still pretty bad. The walk over just about wiped me out.” He stretched out an arm and a small chorus of pops sounded from it. “Still real stiff, muscles feel like worn out jelly.”

“So have you have any time to think about it yet?” she asked.

“Think about what?” he asked back.

“The trip. Into your memories.” She picked up the notebook Twilight had given her. “I filled this out as best I could, but I wasn't really very coherent when I did it.” she flipped some of the pages open and studied her nonsense ramblings. “But that must have been a lot harder for you.”

“You have no idea,” He looked down at his hands, shaking slightly. “The last time, the last time I spoke to my son I... I yelled at him. Seeing that again was so-” he stopped when Fluttershy's warm head nuzzled against his side. He looked down at her for a second and leaned back on the couch, letting the little pegasus nuzzle up next to him.

She looked up at him and looked away anxiously. “You, you looked like you were getting worked up so I thought that, I would.” A touch of purple darkened her cheeks. “I'll just, go back to my chair.”

Raj pulled her into a hug. “Don't worry Fluttershy. It's sweet. Anyway, I'm still cold and you ponies always feel feverish to me.”

“Really? Because you always feel cold to me.”

“Well, I am from space.”

“You know, from your perspective, we're from space.”

“Touche.”

Fluttershy giggled as she laid a foreleg across his midsection in a loose hug. “So is that all that's bothering you?”

“Yeah... no.” He admitted after a second.

She sat up. “Well, go ahead Raj. You know you can tell me anything. I won't judge.”

Raj was quiet for a moment and then steepled his hands as he started talking. “It's something I've been thinking about, for a while now. I dismissed it a few times, but this trip is changing my mind on it.” He sighed and drummed his fingers on his thigh for a moment, gathering his thoughts. “There are a bunch of things that sort of... lined up to let me survive here.”

“Like what?”

“Like the the keys. After watching myself look for them, I have no idea where those things were. I looked around in the bedroom before we moved on, they weren't with my wife's things or on the hook. I even looked in the bathroom, they weren't there.”

“What's so important about that?” Fluttershy asked.

“I would have used Mari's car that night if I had found her keys, and if I had done that I think I would have died.” Fluttershy gasped and shrunk back. “Her car is a lot older and smaller than mine. I don't know if it would have handled the crash as well as mine. And I had my emergency stuff in my trunk, like some water, food, knife, and tape. Her car doesn't have that. Without those things, I don't know how well I would have done in the Everfree.” He paused for a moment, staring forward. “I think something may have moved those keys. Put them somewhere knowing that I would need the safety of my bigger car and the supplies in my trunk. I think something was watching me, waiting for a chance to... take me here, but knew I would need to fend for myself.”

“What are you saying?”

“I don't think I was brought here by accident, or by mistake. I think I was... picked. Like, something wanted to bring me here. I don't know what though.”

Fluttershy let out a huff and flapped a wing absently. “So, you're suggesting that something was strong enough to super-teleport you here and set your life up on earth to help you here?” She shivered, “That's a scary idea.”

“And super unlikely, that's why I haven't told anyone, but seeing my home like that, I don't know, it messed with my head. I don't know what to do with this information.”

“Well, I know that when I have a big decision to make, I like to take all the time I need until I'm sure of it. There's nothing worse than feeling like you made the wrong decision.

Raj nodded. “Yeah, I'll wait until I'm feeling better at least. This whole thing has me thrown for a loop, I shouldn't be doing anything drastic for a while. Twilight's gonna have her hooves full trying to explain the weird glowing thing we saw in my memory, I don't need this idea tainting her work. You know how she gets.”

Fluttershy nodded with a smile. A faint groan came from overhead and they looked up to see a wild-haired Rainbow Dash stagger out of the upstairs bedroom. She slurred, “I smell pancakes. I demand pancakes. Where are the pancakes?” She looked down at the pair huddled together on the couch and cocked an eyebrow. “What're you two doing?”

“Nothing!” - “Whatever we want 'cause we're adults.” Both Fluttershy and Raj said at the same time.

RD scrutinized them for a second and shrugged. “Whatever. I'mma eat that whole basket.”

* * *

“And then she did. In like, thirty seconds.”

“Cool story Raj. But if Rainbow ate all of it, then why didn't you bring the actual basket back?” Spike asked him.

“I just told you. Rainbow ate it. Chick was hungry.”

Spike gave him a withering look and then returned to his notebook. “Well, my visit with Rarity went just fine. We shared a meal, a pleasant conversation, and then I came home.”

“Really? Cause I got back more than an hour before you did. Rarity wasn't too tired for all that?”

The little dragon glanced back and forth furtively. “Well, I mean, she was kind of... she was pretty tired yeah. Tired.”

“Riiigght.” Raj drawled out skeptically. “So how long did you stare at her while she was asleep?”

“N-not that long. Just... just a little bit.” The dragon shyly admitted with a slight blush. A thump came from the loft and Spike shot up, “Oh hey look, Twilight's awake. Let's all focus on that.”

“Uggh.” Twilight groaned as she staggered down the steps. “What year is it?”

“Same one.” Raj answered. “Come eat. It helps.”

She did just that. The unicorn was halfway through her third helping grilled hay-cakes when Spike let out a terrific belch. Raj was about the congratulate the little dragon when a folded piece of stationary splatted against his face. He peeled it off and examined the front of the elegantly filigreed card.

Twilight swallowed a dense plug of food and coughed before saying. “Correspondence with the Princess! It's been a while since she contacted me out of the blue like this.”

“I'll never get over how metal sending messages via dragonfire is.” He flipped the card around and scanned the front. “This thing is addressed to me.”

“Oh, is it from Luna?” Spike asked.

“Nope, says Celestia right here. Give me a second.” He opened the fold and struggled through the ornate script for a few seconds. “It's a summons. I'm supposed to go to Canterlot. Today.”

“Oh wow! Princess Celestia must have something important for you. What an honor!” Twilight exclaimed with a slight wince and a clutch at her head.

“More like what a pain in the ass. I'm still feeling that potion, I don't need a nine hour train ride making it worse.” Raj griped. “What do you think the penalty would be if I told her I'd come out tomorrow?”

Twilight sputtered, spraying a mouthful of oatmeal across the table. “You'd WHAT!” She shouted, the strain of it immediately knocking her back in her chair. She let out a groan but continued. “You cannot just dictate Princess Celestia's schedule like that. She's a busy pony, the busiest pony! If she's summoning you to the castle then it's for something very important and very immediate, you can't just decide when you will respond.”

Raj shied back and looked at Spike who just shrugged at him. “Alright Twilight, chill. I'll go to Canterlot. I'll just, I don't know, sleep on the train or something.”

She sat back, relief washing her features “Yes, of course. Good. Right after you read these three books on court etiquette so you don't embarrass yourself.” She focused for a moment and yelped when a burst of sparks launched from her ruined horn. She glowered upward at the offending nub and cursed bleakly to herselff.

* * *

Rajrishi did indeed find the books to be very useful during his trip. They made an excellent headrest as he slept the whole ride.

He pulled into the same train station as when he'd come to the naval ball and staggered out onto the platform. His disorientation seemed more like the result of sleep fog than any potion-induced distress, so he considered that something of a win.

A pair of armored stallions stood on the platform, one of them holding a sign that read “Rajarashe.” knowing full well that was by far not the worst misspelling of his name he'd run across, he approached. “Soldiers.”

“Captain.” The guardspony gave a crisp salute. “Is there a reason you're armed?”

Raj looked down at the axes on his hip, the bow slung over a shoulder, and the giant hammer he was leaning against. “I was told to come in full uniform. Weapons are part of the uniform.”

The soldiers seemed to accept this and led him to a carriage. He stepped into it and the guards got into their harnesses. Raj ignored the awkward feeling of being dragged through the city by two dudes he was just speaking to and slumped down into his seat.

Canterlot castle was visible from every part of the city and most of the nearby countryside. Up close, it was no less impressive. Patterned stone spiraling up great towers, capped with swirling spire that gleamed in the meager light. He stared up at for a few moments before following his guides inside.

They led him down the great hall, the walls marked with brilliant, stained windows showing scenes of one valiant task or another. He knew a few from the history books Twilight had forced on him, others because he knew the ponies depicted. The rest were just pretty.

As they approached a pair of double doors at least three times his height, one of the guards reached a hoof for his weapons. “None may be armed in the presence of the Princess.”

“I'm armed in front of Princess Luna all the time.” he said back.

“Not here you're not.” the Royal Guard shot back sternly.

“Fair enough.” He unclipped his ax belt and pulled Crescent off his back. Gate Maker he just set upright on the ground and laughed silently to himself when a pair of guards struggled to drag the giant thing off.

The doors swung open and he started down the long, red carpet that led to an enormous, velvet chair. Sitting upon it was a giant, white horse.

She wasn't giant, Raj realized as he moved forward. She was big, but not enormous. It was a trick of the room, something like an optical illusion to make any pony on the throne seem larger. Neat trick.

He reached the base of the throne and the guards flanking him gave a crisp salute along with him. He stood at attention and said sharply. “Majesty.”

“Captain.” She greeted back in a quiet, matronly voice. “Leave us.” For a second, Raj thought he was being kicked out right away. Then the attending guards bowed and filed out. After they had left, she said, “At ease Captain.”

Raj relaxed, opening his stance and tucking his arms behind his back. “Thank you Princess.”

“You are welcome.” She scrutinized him for a moment and he shifted uncomfortably under her gaze. “My sister has said many things about you Captain.”

“All lies, I assure you Princess.” He said back.

Celestia laughed politely, “I would hope not Captain Rajrishi. She paints a flattering portrait. Brave, capable, and compliant. It is in the interest of that compliance that I brought you here today.”

Raj suppressed a surge of unease at the odd wording and said back. “I'm all ears Princess.”

“Twilight Sparkle has been helping you, correct? With finding the means by which you arrived on Equus?”

“That is correct. We've been working together for months.” He said back cautiously. “We've been making a lot of progress.”

“So I have heard. She writes frequently on your collaboration. The work is fascinating, which makes this all the more difficult.” She took a quick breath and looked down at him levelly. “Captain, I need you to tell Twilight to stop her research into your transportation and arrival to Equestria. Immediately.”

Raj went frozenly still, staring up at Celestia who was equally solid, the only movement in the room coming from her eternally waving mane. After a minute of staring he stammered, “W-what?”

“The research and work she is doing into your predicament. I need you to tell her to cease it.” she reiterated.

“I, I heard that. But why?” Raj asked, still dumbstruck.

She raised a hoof, as if giving a lecture. “In the brief months you have been working together, my apprentice has been nearly eaten by a Naga, partially turned into a frog, nearly started a war with a foreign nation, and had her horn chopped off and nearly killed by a Rakshasa. This task is entirely too dangerous for her, not to mention the disruption your work is inflicting on her planned studies. If I am to repair the damage done by this diversion, I will need your cooperation.” She lowered her hoof down with a attention-getting thud, “That is why.”

Raj glared and spat, all respect gone. “Tell her yourself. You're her damn teacher.”

She shook her head. “That is not an option I'm afraid. If I did that, Twilight would resent me, to the detriment of her studies. If Twilight is to develop along the path I have laid for her, it is important that she does not hold any contempt for me. You will have to convince her to stop this research and you will need to avoid implicating me when you do so.”

He stared up at her, uncomprehending. His hands worked into fists and he seethed to himself for a minute before screaming, “That's bullshit!”

Celestia waited until the echoes of the profanity faded from the chamber before continuing. “I understand that you are angry. What I need is unfair, but it is necessary. I am not intending to order you to cease searching for a way home. I am prepared to allocate a full team of Canterlot University's finest researchers to take over for Twilight. I'm certain that-”

“None of them are Twilight Sparkle!” He shouted in the middle of her sentence. The glare she shot him was harsh enough he almost physically felt it, but pressed on regardless. “I don't care how many of your researchers you put on this, any and all of them aren't as good as Twilight. It would take them years just to reach the point we're at now, much less advance on it.”

“Ignoring the insult to my academic class, you can't deny the danger your quest has placed her in.”

Raj opened his hands and counted along his fingers, “You had her fight Nightmare Moon, who as far as I can tell is the Equestrian devil. Then you had her go up against a full grown dragon, a literal guardian of hell, an army of changelings, an incredibly powerful wizard, and a monster that managed to re-write the laws of reality. Nothing that has happened with me is any more dangerous than what you have made her do.”

Celestia put a hoof to her chest. “My requests were for the positive benefit of my student and all of Equestria.”

“And mine weren't?” He spat. “In my time with Twilight, we've removed a violent monster that was threatening the town, secured a stockpile of medicine for a horrific disease while removing another dangerous monster, found the truth of a part of ancient history, removed an exigent threat to your entire country, found something that will advance Equestria's knowledge of magic for centuries, and forged a friendship with a previously unknown alien race!” He screamed at her, breathing hard. “If all that isn't positive development, then I don't think you know what that means.”

“You have no idea what your presence here has cost her.” She growled, actual venom in her voice as she descended a few steps. “What she was poised to become, no more than a single breath away from it. Then you came into her life and ruined it all. If you have any affection for her whatsoever, you will remove yourself from her and allow her to fulfill her destiny.”

“I didn't come here by choice, Celestia. Something brought me here. If you want to get hot and bothered with someone, do it with them.”

“You have no idea how I wish I could.” She whispered, the words thick with contempt. “Regardless, this does not matter. Captain Rajrishi Singh Oberoi, I, Princess Celestia of Equestria, First Daughter of the Faustmare, hereby order you to do as I have explained. This is a direct order from your Princess and ruler.”

“Is that so?” He asked back, hands on his hips. “No.”

She descended a few more steps. “That was a direct order. Failure to fulfill it is treason, the minimum sentence for such a crime is permanent exile.”

“It would be, if ignoring your order was a crime. You don't have any authority over me Celestia. Luna does.” Celestia looked at him sharply, for the first time the whole meeting actually looking surprised. “You're Co-Diarchs, you have veto power over each other, except in regards to your sworn, individual subjects, them you have exclusive authority over. I'm one of Luna's sworn subjects, her only one as far as I can tell, which means you aren't in my chain of command. At all. If you wanted to order me to do this dumbass task, then you'd need her to do it. And I'm guessing by the fact that she isn't here, you know you wouldn't be able to convince her to do that.”

Celestia didn't say anything, but her slightly wilting posture was answer enough. Raj sneered, “I live in a library and work as the town's constable half the time, you think I wouldn't pick up a law book at some point?”

She looked down, Raj thought in contrition at first, then he became aware of a slight buzz in the air, like the hum of a transformer. He shook his head in confusion, trying to shake the curious sensation. The feeling gradually rose, picking up energy until his gums started to ache and let out a short cry of pain. He looked around and saw everything start to blur out of focus, the pressure she was exuding feeling like a physical force on his eyes, distorting everything in the room. He took a step back in surprise and winced, futilely raising a hand to shield himself. He tried to say something but the words died in his non-cooperative jaw.

Celestia slowly continued her way down from the throne, the power of her presence like a steadily strengthening hammer on his back until he was driven to his knees. “Rajrishi.” When she spoke, her voice was as clear as a bell, like there was no other sound in the whole world. “I must inform you, so that you may decide in an informed context, that I am not the sort of pony to be trifled with. Mine is a terrible wrath, though slow to stoke.”

Raj tried to respond but it came out as a garble. Celestia let him finish sputtering and continued. “I have many avenues of power at my disposal, methods you simply cannot predict, both overt and covert. And I am willing to bring all of it to bear to secure the proper future for Twilight Sparkle. There is, quite literally, nothing I will not do for her. Nothing.”

She loomed over his squirming and pained form for a few seconds before she reached down and lifted his prostrate form up with a hoof, speaking directly into his pain-wracked face. “So, one last time. Will you do as I ask?”

Raj forced a single eye open, the insane power radiating off of her making even that exhausting. What he saw couldn't be real. Mane twisting like snakes, eyes literally burning with inner fires, and white coat blazing like the heart of a star. It was terrible and beautiful in equal measure.

And to that formless monster, Rajrishi slowly, laboriously, forced out. “Go... fuck... yourself.”

In a single instant, the power retreated. The world warped back to sense and Raj realized he could breath again. He sucked in a chest of sweet air and rolled over onto his back, looking up at the ceiling with eyes pinked by burst blood vessels. Slowly, he forced himself to his feet and looked at Celestia squarely.

The Princess was unchanged, though looked somewhat disappointed in him. She said sharply, “You may go Captain. And, I'm afraid I must declare that this conversation to be a Need-to-Know security item, privy only to myself and you. I may not have authority over you but I can still dictate intelligence policy. Violating that would be treason, regardless of your sworn citizen status.”

Raj stared at her, panting and hunched. He wanted to say something smart back, but thought better of it and left the throne room at a sprint. He didn't look back.

Author's Note

Woo, first f-bomb! Now I get to find out if the Fimfic rating system will ban this after all these years.

Unarmed in a Battle of Wits

Raj made it all the way onto the castle grounds before his stamina gave out.

He collapsed onto a lake-side bench. His body felt spent. The combination of the potion, the long ride, and whatever force Celestia had crushed him under left him exhausted. A handful of ponies noticed his presence and shot odd looks his way. A few whispered to each other. Raj ignored them and leaned on his knees, breathing hard and trying to compose himself.

Celestia, the immortal, ancient Alicorn demigod of Equestria, had essentially threatened to kill him.

What in the actual hell was he supposed to do with that?

He could tell Luna about it, but he had no idea what that would do. She'd be mad, but Celestia and Luna have known each other for millennia, there was no way she'd side with him over her beloved sister. Even if she did, it would accomplish nothing. She wasn't even strong enough to fight her sister, if their last fight was anything to go by, but doubted it would ever really come to that. Somewhat idly, Raj realized that for the first time he didn't have the option of conflict. It was more disarming than he thought it would be.

He sat there for a while, head in his hands, choking down cold air as he tried to make sense of what he'd been struck with. He rubbed his eyes, suddenly feeling very tired.

“Excuse me sir, are you alright?” came a rather cheerful voice from his side.

Raj let out a sigh and looked up. “Yeah, I'm fine, thank y-” He cut off when he saw who was speaking to him.

Floating next to him was some sort of bizarrely hodgepodge serpent, like someone had decided to make something out of a grab bag of parts. Or maybe an attention deficient child's scribbling had been brought to life. He stared at the thing for a good minute before it smiled and opened a lion's arm wide, giving an exaggerated bow from his hovering position. “Silly me, where are my manners? I am Discord, the undisputed Master of Chaos.”

“Pleasure. Rajrishi, Captain of the Lunar Guard.” Raj extended a hand to shake and Discord looped an arm around himself to match it. Ignoring that, he continued, “I think I've heard about you before. You're close friends with Fluttershy, right?”

“That I am. Best friends actually. It says so on these.” He snapped the fingers of his raptor hand and a small, crocheted badge popped into existence that read 'FS + D: BFF'. “Funny thing, she never mentioned you though.”

“Fluttershy's not much of a chatterbox.” He stretched his legs, the feeling coming back in full now. “So what brings you over here anyway? You inquire with every tired alien that comes running out of the castle?”

Discord put a paw to his chin, “Well, you're the first, so I suppose I do. And I'm not certain I’d call you an alien, exactly.” he disappeared in a flash of light and a round, microwave sized UFO landed on the bench next to Raj. The door opened up and a miniature Discord with a fishbowl on his head stepped out. When he spoke, his voice was distorted and tinny from the helmet. “You're more like the mother of all missing persons, so lost even you don't know where you are.”

Raj picked up the small spacecraft. “That is both accurate and depressing.”

The spaceship flashed and Raj was holding Discord's head, the rest of his serpentine body slithering back out of it. “No, I came over because I simply have to speak with any being that is capable of getting ol' Sunbutt so rankled.”

Raj leaned back, “You saw that?”

“Of course I did, very little happens in this castle that I am not privy to. I have ears,” He reached up and yanked one of his off, “everywhere.” he casually tossed the detached piece of himself into a nearby bush. “And let me tell you, I haven't seen Celly that mad ever since I turned the walls of her old castle into bees.”

“Bees you say?”

“Yes bees. The joke was that the best offense is a good-”

“Bee fence, right. It's a pun, of course it's a pun. This whole damn planet is infested with puns.” Raj groused.

Discord chuckled to himself. “See, you get it. Celestia most certainly did not.”

Raj leaned his head into his hand. “So you were listening to my meeting with the Princess. I get the feeling I should be concerned about that.”

“Understandable. I imagine that suffering under the oldest Titanspawn's pure expression of power is quite draining to a mortal. Frankly, I'm surprised it didn't squash you flat. Celly-belly must be getting lax in her old age, or she took it easy on you.”

“I hope it was the former. Goddammit.” Raj swore as he flexed a muscle in his neck and felt a shoot of pain. “What was that spell anyway? It felt like I had an ocean on top of me, I've never heard of magic like that.”

“You're closer than you think Rajy-boy. All she did was unleash her power in an unstructured form, just raw force. If you think of spells as words and sentences, what she did was more like screaming incoherently. Very unsubtle, very much unlike her.”

“If it's so much unlike her, then why would she do it?” he asked.

Discord shrugged. “If I had to guess you caught her off guard, you refused the request and she panicked a bit, needed to let you know she meant business. Or she thought she could provoke you into doing something stupid by threatening you. Hard to say with her, Celestia is always spinning a few plates.” He held up a finger, a lone dessert dish spinning on his claw.

“Like what? React with violence?” he asked.

Discord cocked an eyebrow and shook his head. He flicked the spinning plate towards Raj and it landed on his lap. The ceramic drawing of the draconequus' face spoke, “No dear boy, I don't think that anyone is that dumb. No, likely she was hoping that you would tell Twilight what happened and it would drive the two of you apart.”

“How would that drive us apart?” Plate-Discord rolled his eyes so hard they literally fell out of his head. Raj watched them roll towards the pond, picking up snow as they went along.

As he watched, one of the rolling snow/eyeballs hopped up on other other and melted into a reasonable facsimile of his own face. The snow-mouth moved and a bad impersonation of his voice came out saying “Hey, look at me, I'm the human Rajrishi! I'm supposed to be a smart engineer or something but when something happens that doesn't involve punching, I can't string two thoughts together into a decent idea. Cause my brain is just a lump of frozen water!”

Raj chose not to comment on that and flicked the plate at the snowman, slicing the rude sculpture's head off with a cry of alarm from both. As asinine as he'd been in pointing it out, Discord was right. He wasn't thinking about this right. He sat, pondering for a minute, trying to wrap his tired brain around the logic. After a bit, he started to hesitantly say “Unless, Twilight knows Celestia better than me. She knows that she would never do something like that, so Twilight wouldn't believe me. She'd think I was lying to her, Twilight would construct a reason for the lie and Celestia would back it up. That would get us apart.”

Discord tipped a straw hat and stretched out a wooden showman's cane. “Give the man a prize!” He snapped a claw and a dozen or so stuffed Discord toys fell out of nowhere and bounced off of Rajrishi's head and shoulders.

He ignored those as best he could and leaned onto his knees. “So I can't tell Twilight what happened, which means I can't tell anyone what happened. I would be doing exactly what she wants.”

“Quite. I find when dealing with Alicorns it's best to throw out your first, second, and third options. Odds are they've anticipated them and somehow orchestrated it to work to their advantage.”

“So what do I do here? Do I have a move?”

Discord shrugged again. “Tartarus if I know old boy. If I knew how to beat Celestia I would have done it ages ago.” A beat. “Except that now we're close, personal friends of course, ”

“Right.” Raj looked the draconequus up and down for a moment. “Why are you helping me anyway? I've heard plenty about you from a bunch of ponies. Helpful wasn't a common adjective.”

At that, Discord surprised Raj. He paused and floated down to the ground, standing on all fours. His yellow eyes lost some light and his face took on a serious set. “Believe it or not Rajrishi, I can empathize with being trapped, alone, on a planet of tiny horses with nobody you claim to love.” He stared at Raj seriously for all of five second before breaking back into his ongoing joviality. “Or perhaps I just like to give the pot a good, strong stir every once in a while!” He jabbed a claw towards the bench and the whole thing popped like a balloon. Raj flopped onto the ground and Discord giggled madly before flashing away.

Rajrishi let out a curse and rolled, a pulse of pain flaring from his tailbone. He writhed in the snow for a minute before deciding that lying near the frozen lake was as good a sitting, so he went still and stared up at the dusty snow drifting down at him.

And he thought. He thought about what he was supposed to do next.

***

Raj was standing outside the train station a few hours later with a visibly pleased Prince Blueblood. The royal unicorn gave a crisp salute and said sternly “Sir.”

“You're not my lieutenant yet Blueblood, you don't have to call me sir. At ease.” he visibly relaxed but maintained a rigid posture. “I'll send the dossier on your official duties once I get back, expect it with tomorrow's post. After that I'll commission your uniform and credentials, they should follow rather shortly.”

He nodded. “Understood sir. Have a safe trip back.”

“Thank you Lieutenant.” Blueblood positively bristled with satisfaction at the use of his new title. Raj gave him a quick salute and stepped onto the train.

Offering an officer's commission to Blueblood made sense on paper. He was related to the Princesses and he had a decent service record, so it wouldn't strike anyone as an odd choice. Raj knew the unicorn could fight and wasn't a total ass at least. Luna had been hinting that he should start expanding the Lunar Guard anyway. It was a natural choice.

There was also the benefit of having a pair of eyes in the capital he could rely on. And if something happened to him it would reflect badly on Blueblood as well, a factor that might stay Celestia's wrath if she cared for the unicorn at all. It wasn't a winning move, but it might insulate him a bit, which would hopefully be enough. At the least, he couldn't see any significant downside to the decision.

It was far from perfect though. He'd had to lie and tell the prince that he'd been toying with the idea for weeks, instead of coming up with it when he happened to see the unicorn walking towards the castle. Now he was in the position of having to throw together a charter and duties for him as soon as he got back, as well as having to convince Rarity to make a uniform for her least favorite unicorn. He was hoping the Lunar Guard's sizable expense account would be able to handle that.

The train lurched to life beneath him and he silently cursed the Solar Princess again. He didn't like having to switch gears like this, suddenly having to worry about political maneuvering and so forth. Not for the first time, he wondered if he could just deck her in the face as hard as he could. He did that with Luna, and now they get along just fine.

He brushed that thought aside and pressed his forehead against the cold window, Gate Maker occupying the seat next to him. He was hurt, and tired, and still warped from the memory potion. He closed his eyes as the train curved into a tunnel and was fast asleep before they had come out the other side.

Slow to Wake

“It has been thirty-three days.” Twilight said as she walked in a tight circle around the table. “Thirty-three long, torturous days.”

Raj and Spike sat silently, watching the pacing unicorn. Raj moved like he wanted to talk but Spike yanked him back down into his seat and whispered, “She's doing a thing. Let her go.”

“Was it difficult? Yes. Was it a humbling experience? Yes it was. Did I regularly forget about it all together and give myself terrible headaches? Everypony knows I did. But no more! Because today is finally the day! Today,” she reached up to her head and yanked the knot of bandages away, “my horn has officially grown back!”

She stared cross-eyed up at her regenerated appendage for a moment, a wide grin on her face, before it lit up with lavender light. The glow attached to much of the room's contents and dozens of books floated free their shelves and began orbiting the room, spinning in the air and flapping their pages as if they were flying on their own accord.

Inverted force field domes marched out of the kitchen carrying water and sprang themselves upwards, spraying the water in a mad burst of moisture that was similarly held fast by magic. It formed a nebula of glittering droplets that gleamed brilliantly in the omnipresent, lavender glow from the dozens of floating fields.

There was a flash of light and Twilight was standing on the table, eyes burning white and horn glowing such that the halo of it stretched a full body length ahead of herself. She lowered her head, focused for a moment, and then threw it upwards with a cry of effort. All at once, the glittering droplets streamed out of the windows and doors of the library. They raced upwards, crashing together with a mighty clap and breaking apart, drifting lazily to form a rainbow hued symbol in the sky over the library in the shape of a six pointed sparkle.

Twilight lowered back down to the table and let out a breath, the books and scrolls slowly flapping their way back to their places on the shelves. When the last one was back on the shelf she let the last of the magic go and she laid down on the table, visible ripples of heat drifting up from her horn.

The room was quiet for a few moments before somepony outside shouted “Woo! Do it again!”

The three of them broke out into light laughter for a moment. Spike sprang forward and wrapped his arms around Twilight's neck in a tight hug. “I'm so happy you got your magic back Twi!”

She nuzzled the little dragon. “Me too Spike. I was beginning to forget what channeling a spell felt like.” She wiped her brow and huffed out a breath. “Although I think I overdid it a bit.”

“More than a month with no practice will screw up anyone's stamina.” Raj said. “You should probably take it easy.”

“I've been taking it easy Raj. Anyway,” she bamfed to the shelf, leaving Spike to flop gracelessly onto the table. “I have work to get back to. Without magic, there isn't much research I've been able to do. I'm still sitting on so much analysis to do of our trip into your memory.”

Raj furrowed his brow. “How will magic help you analyze that? We did that more than a week ago.”

Twilight gave him an eager grin. “Zecora's not the only one that knows memory spells.” Her horn sparked up and her eyes went white, images flickering past them. “With this spell, I can read my own mind, witnessing your memory again by reliving my memory of it, in precise detail.”

“Neat.” he said. “If you want something straight from the tap, I can get another potion from Zecora.”

She winced slightly. “I'm not sure if that would work exactly. I talked to her already. The components for it are pretty rare and already out of season. Anyway, after how bad it hit me before I'm not in a big hurry to try it again. From what she said, if we had a reaction like that before, there's no telling what it might be like if we did it again.”

He frowned. “Did she know what caused it?”

Twilight shook her head. “Afraid not. It could have been your arcane resistance, the nature of the memory, the fact that we had so many ponies along for the trip, or a bunch of other things. Heck, according to her it might have been worse if we had less passengers. For all we know we might end up in a coma if we went through with just the two of us. Don't tell her I said this, but that's the problem with oral traditions. Not actually understanding your craft can only cause problems.”

Raj's face fell, but not for the reason Twilight thought. The idea of using a memory potion to out Celestia had occurred to him after a few days, and it was a thought he was actively mulling over, but the revelation of the potion's instability squashed that flat. Besides damaging his friend's worldview, he couldn't imagine the feeling of being gradually crushed beneath the weight of Celestia's magical power resulting in anything pleasant when they came out of it.

“Now then!” Twilight summoned a notebook to herself in a burst of light and shoved it into Spike's claws. “I have been dying to ask some questions about what I saw in there. If you have time.”

Raj nodded, “I got nothing but time.” He was surprised that she'd held back her curiosity for so long.

Twilight grinned and her horn lit up, summoning a trio of chairs to them alongside a large stack of notes and papers. “Great. First up, what is this device?” A glow formed in the air that resolved into an image, showing Raj's kitchen on earth. In the center of the image was a black box, a sequence of numbers and buttons along the right-hand face of it below a glowing set of digits.

“Microwave oven. Common household appliance.” Raj answered back, somewhat impressed by the illusion.

She scribbled that down in her notes. “Please elaborate.”

“Um, alright. It's a box that opens up. Used to re-heat and cook food quickly. It exposes whatever is inside it with microwave radiation to generate heat, hence the name.”

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Microwaves? Are those related to the radio waves were were searching for a while back?”

“Yeah. Both are electromagnetic frequencies, but on different wavelengths.”

“So you use one of these waves to communicate, and another one to cook food?” Twilight asked skeptically.

Raj rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, I'm pretty sure we use both to communicate, but we also use microwaves to cook.”

Spike shook his head. “Wow, humans are weird.”

“No argument from me Scales.” Raj said back with a shrug.

Twilight spent a few moments scratching down further information. “Interesting, all very interesting. I admit, I did not think of that when I saw that thing.”

“What did you think it did?” Raj asked.

Twilight shrugged. “Honestly? I thought it was a clock. A big, inefficient clock.”

Raj laughed. “Well, it does that too.”

Twilight ended up having dozens of questions about his world. It took him a good twenty minutes to explain the concept of television and a good thirty to explain the many cables that snaked all throughout his house. Electricity was not an uncommon thing in Equestria, but outlets and power grids apparently were. The idea of power traveling dozens of miles to each and every house was something she couldn't rationalize.

The inquiry/research was interrupted by a blazing belch from their scribe that burned off a small bit of notes. “Oh! Correspondence from the Princess.” She lifted the scroll and read the tag, her face screwing up. “Huh, it's for you Raj, and it's from Princess Luna.”

A trill of fear ran up Raj's spine, certain that it was an order from Luna to get Twilight to cancel the research. He was running through ideas on how best to fight an Alicorn when he opened it up and scanned the contents. His shoulders sagged with relief as he went through it. “Oh good, it's just marching orders.”

“What did you think it was?” Twilight asked.

“I, uh, I don't know. Something far worse?” He swiftly changed topics. “Anyway, she's sending me to the Dragonlands. I'm assuming those are exactly what they sound like. A land full of dragons.”

“Wait, why are you being sent there?” Twilight asked as she leaned over his shoulder to study the letter. “Equestria hasn't had diplomatic relations with the dragons for centuries.”

Raj stepped away from her, keeping his letter from her view. “It says they're trying to return all the treasure that Jolly Roger stole to whoever he took it from. A few tons of loot were taken from Torch's horde long ago, so they're returning it and I'm the one who's supposed to take it to him.”

“That's... odd.” Twilight's face screwed up in confusion. “Why you? We have envoys for this sort of thing.”

“I don't know. I'm far from an ambassador.” He read the note again. “Blueblood is going too, so we might just be security.” Spike let out a rude raspberry at the mention of the hated unicorn. “They're sending a whole boat there, so there's probably someone on the ship that will be handling the talking.” He rolled the scroll back up. “Never read anything about the Dragonlands. Either of you been there?”

“I have.” Spike piped up. “It's barren and rocky. Covered in mountains and volcanoes. And jerks, it's covered in lots of jerks. At least it was when I was there for the dragon migration. There's probably less now.”

“Definitely less now.” Twilight added.

“Well that's good. The lower the jerk per square mile ratio, the better.” He paused and let out quick breath. “Right, well, I'll take the train to Whinneapolis in the morning and get on the boat. Only a few days sailing to get there, find this Torch, and then come home. Should be a bit more than a week.”

“Wow, this is so unexpected. What an honor!” Twilight said with a clap of her hooves.

“Yeah. Honor.” Raj smiled, putting on a calm front.

Spike spoke up. “I should go with him.”

Twilight's good cheer evaporated. “What? Absolutely not.”

The little dragon scowled. “Twilight, I'm a dragon, these are the Dragonlands. If I'm not with him, some drake could think they're being invaded and roast them. I have to go.”

“No you don't. Rajrishi is perfectly capable of taking care of himself.” she said.

“Twilight, I'm going.” Spike declared.

The two of them exchanged harsh glances for a few tense moments. Raj looked back and forth between them and quietly said. “I, uh, I should get some stuff ready.” He rose up and went off to gather his things. At that moment, getting between the two of them seemed a great deal more treacherous than any mission.

***

The train screeched to a halt outside Whinneapolis and Raj hopped onto the snowy platform. He looked around, still a bit paranoid about the whole thing.

Logically, this trip had to be some sort of trap. Luna could be acting at the behest of her sister, sending him on a dangerous mission to be disposed of quietly . It made sense. So soon after he was so clearly threatened by the Solar Princess he gets a mission to go far, far away out of the blue? It wasn't a far leap to make. If that was the case, then why send Blueblood? Perhaps he was the one to do it. It would depend on how ambitious he was, and how ambitious could a powerful and royal unicorn be?

Raj shook his head before the musings drove him batty. This was so far outside of his wheelhouse he couldn't keep his thoughts straight. None of that mattered much anyway. This was a task from Princess Luna, he had to do it. If something tried to kill him, he'd deal with that as it happened. All he could do was stay sharp and vigilant.

He gathered his bag from the stowage and felt the reassuring weight of his hammer in his palm. Vigilant, but also armed. That's the ticket.

Spike followed him out, still rubbing sleep from his eyes. “That was a short ride.”

“It was four hours Spike. You were just zonked out the whole time.” Raj explained.

“Oh, sorry.” He covered a big yawn. “I was... up late last night.”

“I know. You and Twilight kept it up until the wee hours. What did you say that managed to convince her?” A moment passed. “Spike?”

He turned around the see the little dragon curled up next to a trashcan, already nuzzling into it and drifting to sleep. Raj let him lie for a moment before picking him up and draping him over his shoulder the same way he'd seen Twilight do.

Raj was actually quite grateful for the young drake's presence. Besides being great company, he knew that Spike was a solid man to have in his corner. No matter what happened, Spike would have his back.

Admittedly, he felt bad about using the little guy like that. That's ultimately what he was doing, he realized and he cursed Celestia again for putting him in this damnable situation.

The boat was small and covered in sails, clearly built for speed and little else. The helmspony waved at him as he approached and Blueblood came down the gangplank in his silver-piped uniform. He gave a crisp salute and said, “Captain.”

“At ease. How is the ship lieutenant?”

“Sound, crewed, and ready for travel sir.”

“Is the treasure on board?” he asked.

“It is. All three tons of it. I took the liberty of locking the hold where it's stored. We can't have anypony on the crew making off with a single bit.” He hoofed the key over his superior.

“Good job Blueblood.” he took it. “And what about the envoys?”

Blueblood raised an eyebrow. “Envoys sir?”

“The ponies that will be representing Equestria? That will be serving as ambassadors?” Raj explained.

Blueblood looked askance for the first time since Raj had met him. “There... there are no envoys sir. You're the last one to come aboard.”

Raj cursed silently. That more or less settled it then. “Don't worry about it. Good work Blueblood.”

“Thank you sir. We are ready to move out on your say.” He looked at the dragon draped over his shoulder. “There's not going to be enough dragons where we're going sir? You think we need to bring our own?”

Raj looked over at the slumbering kid. “Think of Spike as a cultural guide. Someone to help us get through the place unmolested.”

“Of course sir, always wise to bring along a guide. And might I say sir, it is quite an honor to be a part of this expedition and this unit. Thank you for this opportunity to serve.” He gave a polite bow with a mild smile.

Raj waved him off. “You're very welcome Blueblood, but I'd like to get going.”

The lieutenant nodded and stepped back, gesturing for Raj to move forward. He did so, hoping that this would be the one mission that ended up going well.

***

Raj was on the deck eating a handful of banana chips when he saw the first dragon.

He looked up to see a yellow dot in the sky, roughly the size of a dime. He cocked his head and called out, “Lieutenant?”

The unicorn was at his side in an instant. “Sir?”

Raj pointed. “What is that?”

Blueblood squinted for a second and then his horn lit. A lens formed in the air in front of him, mimicking a telescope. He peered through it and sucked in a sharp breath. “Sir, that's a dragon.”

“Oh!” Raj swallowed his mouthful of chips and looked back up at it, already swollen to the size of a quarter from his perspective. “Alright, we've prepared as best we can for this. Blueblood, send the crew down below. I don't want any panic on the deck. And have one of them send Spike up.”

Blueblood nodded. “Yes sir.” he spun about and started ordering the small crew about.

Ponies filed below deck in good order and about a minute later a crest of spines came up the stair. “Spike, I think we're going to need you in a minute.”

The little dragon frowned at him, “For what?”

Raj opened his mouth to reply but got cut off when the thing was suddenly over them. It zoomed past the ship, kicking up a tempest and a spray of water in its wake. The ship bucked and jumped, the crew below deck shouting in alarm. Raj grabbed the mast for stability while Spike grabbed onto him. Blueblood simply lifted himself up with his magic for a moment to avoid the tossing ship.

Just as Raj was regaining his bearings, the whole ship threw again as something massive landed on the stern, causing the whole thing to angle up sharply. Supplies and storage on the deck slid back, stacking haphazardly against the gunwale. Raj hauled himself and Spike up onto the nearly-horizontal mast and looked down.

Perched on the rear of the ship was a dragon roughly the size of a city bus, smaller than the one he'd seen in the Everfree Forest, but still bigger than any living thing he'd ever seen. The thing was a burnt yellow color with frills and claws of dirty red. A thick beard of crimson spines waved off its chin and neck, each one visibly sharp. The monster's neck stretched forward, nostrils flaring as it inhaled sharply.

All of that was something Raj could handle. Then it angled its head up and exhaled.

Awful red fire spilled from the thing's mouth in a long column, rolling waves of it reaching into the sky. Raj felt his eyes immediately water and the skin of his face tighten from the heat. The fire rose up and mushroomed out, flattening into a wide ceiling of red that fanned out into drifting tongues of fire, bright red cinders drifting down to burn on the surface of the water.

Raj didn't know at what point fell down on the mast, but at some point he did because Spike was standing on his stomach shaking him. “Raj! Come on Raj, snap out of it. We need you!” Spike hauled back a claw and gave him a weak slap across the face, snapping him back to sense.

The beast coughed a cloud of smoke and spoke in a rolling, reedy voice that was terribly loud. “I smell treasure on this ship. Tell me, who was so stupid as to sail gold and jewels this close to the territory of Cinder the Terrible?”

Raj lifted a hand and worked his way to his feet. “I did. Captain Rajrishi of the Lunar Guard. I... brought this ship here.”

Cinder looked down at the partially flooded ship he was perched on. He looked up at Raj with something like bemusement on his face. “That was a foolish idea, Captain. Open your hold and allow me to take your treasure, and perhaps I will permit you and your crew to swim home.”

Raj paled. Neither of those things would work He looked down at the ship, already in such a sorry state and the thing hadn't even really attacked them.Thinking quickly, he blurted. “That would not be wise!”

Cinder paused and narrowed his eyes. He drew close enough for Raj to reach out and touch the giant monster. “Really? Not wise, huh? Then who don't you tell me what would be wise, mammal? Quickly.” The thing smiled, showing rows of teeth longer than his finger.

“Because it's not yours! We're bringing it to it's rightful owner. An ancient dragon named Torch.” Raj shouted, desperately hoping the beast recognized the name.

Sure enough, Cinder went rigid. “Did you say Torch? The treasure on your ship belongs to Dragonlord Torch?”

Raj had no idea what a Dragonlord was, but he went with it. “Y-yes. It is.”

“Does he know you're coming?” the giant beast growled.

“He does!” Raj yelled quickly.

Spike whispered up to him, “Torch doesn't-”

Raj slapped him with a finger and hissed back. “Shutup Spike.”

Cinder let out a low growl and flapped his wings, lifting off of the stressed ship. The boat righted itself, water sloshing off the deck. Raj hopped away from the mast and managed to get his feet underneath him. Spike fell down and Raj managed to catch him with an arm. The giant beast settled on the water, wings folded up on his sides. Raj had the comical thought that he looked like a giant, scaly duck. He craned his neck forward and growled. “If that treasure belongs to Torch, I want nothing to do with it.” He lifted a claw out of the water and pointed at a mountain near the shore. “Dragonlord Torch lairs in a cave near the base of that mountain. Go there, give him your tribute, and begone. If I see you or any other pony ship here, I won't be so gracious.” He smiled again, showing all those teeth.

Raj shuddered at the sight but managed to shake it off. “Of course, and thank you Cinder the Terrible.” he gave a bow.

Cinder nodded and turned about. He had just started paddling away when a voice called out to him. “Wait!”

The huge dragon paused and Raj turned to his side to see Blueblood reaching out to the creature. Raj resisted the urge to strangle him and instead gripped the railing.

Cinder turned about and glared again, his patience rapidly dissolving. “Who dares?”

“I do.” Blueblood declared. “You broke our ship. The mast is cracked, the sails are scorched, and our keel is smashed. We won't be able to get under way for hours, maybe days.” He gestured up to the ruined sails, pieces of his breath still smoldering on them.

Cinder scanned the broken ship with a bored look. “Your point?”

“We might sink, and Dragonlord Torch is expecting us. Neither of us want to keep him waiting, do we?” Blueblood asked, his tone very precise.

Cinder considered at the unicorn for a moment and growled. “No, no we do not.” He then unfurled his wings and took to the air.

Raj hissed at his lieutenant, “What in the actual hell are you thinking Blueblood?”

“That we need to get moving and we can't because of that thing.”

“He was leaving!” Raj hissed.

“That's kind of my point Captain.” Blueblood said back tersely.

The ship lurched again for the third time in as many minutes. Most of the crew turned to the rear to see Cinder at the rear, flapping his wings and propelling them along.

Raj looked up at that, stared for a minute, and said. “Huh.”

“How did you know he was going to do that?” Spike asked.

“Never underestimate the power of appealing to somepony's best interests.” Blueblood explained with a casual flip of his mane.

Spike fumed at him for a moment before Raj stepped between them. “Well it worked, good work Lieutenant.” Blueblood gave him a salute and went off the tend to the crew.

Spike glared at him as he left. “I don't like that stallion.”

“He may have just saved our lives Spike.” Raj pointed out.

“He's a jerk. Why did you make a Lunar Guard anyway? Weren't there any piles of manure or dead raccoons you could stuff into a uniform?”

“I'll admit, I didn't look for any of that. Besides, I'm not going to count someone out just because they were rude to Rarity once.” Spike grumbled incoherently in response and Raj shook his head at him. “Don't be like that. Go get your things, we'll be on the Dragonlands before you know it.”

Raj looked over the side of the ship and saw a crag of rock zip past the ship. He turned to follow it and saw it quickly shrink into the distance. He looked up to see the ropes and lines of the sails snapping wildly in the wind. Raj was not a sailor, but he was pretty sure a ship like this wasn't meant to go highway speeds.

“Too fast.” He muttered to himself and ran up the ruined aft of the ship. He leaned over the rear rail of the ship and shouted to be heard over the roar of the wind. “Cinder, we need to slow down. There isn't enough-”

He cut himself off when he saw the giant monster grin again, eyes full of terrible malice. Raj stepped back, realizing the monster's purpose. He spun and shouted as loud as he could. “Brace for impact!”

Raj's yell came only a few seconds before the event. There was a terrible crunch that reverberated through the deck and Raj was flung forward. He flipped in the air and hit the main deck flat on his back. The ground angled up as the bow split horizontally, the whole of the ship opening like it grew a mouth and was trying to eat the beach. Cries of alarm and pain came up through the boards, the ponies below confused and scared in all the sudden chaos.

Raj lay where he landed, hissing in pain, and flinched when Cinder's silhouette tore across the sky. The giant dragon circled for a while, giving out great booming laughs, before he banked and left them marooned on hostile shores.

There was one bright side, Raj realized. He was now definitely sure that Celestia wanted him dead.

Mice Relating to Elephants

Raj lifted up another broken piece of hull, this one a sizable chunk of crossbeam. He draped it over his shoulder and started back to the ship with it.

He looked back at the ruined hulk. Calling the thing on the beach a ship seemed an exaggeration to be honest. The underside had ground to pieces on the shallow draft before splitting open, the keel driving into the rocky sand of the beach and kicking up the stern. The deck had levered up on the stern, leaving the whole thing resembling a massive box and stick trap built by somebody who didn't really understand the concept.

The chunk of beam ended up on a steadily growing pile of debris. A pair of earth pony sailors dragged over a length of yardarm and tossed it next to the pile. They took a quick breath and headed back out, but not before shooting Raj a dirty look.

That was fair, Raj thought. After all, there was a pretty solid chance they were all going to die out here.

Blueblood wandered up, a cloud of small pieces of debris held in his horngrip. He looked up at Raj and nodded. “Captain.”

“Lieutenant.” he answered back.

“We lost a lot of the ship on the bottom of the shallows, getting to that will be more difficult. But, based on what we've been finding there won't be much to work with.”

“Skip it then. We should be able to get by with what we have. Bring everyone in and have them start tearing nails and other materials from the wreck, we can do that by firelight. Come morning, I want everyone to get started on putting the coaster together.”

“Aye Captain.” Blueblood nodded and started down the beach to fetch the salvage teams. Actually fixing the ship was out of the question, they didn't have the time, materials, equipment, or expertise to make a vessel capable of crossing the gulf between the Dragonlands and Equestria. Which is why they were trying to build a coastal vessel that could skirt the edge of the Dragonlands until they reached somewhere more hospitable, hopefully.

Raj went over to the camp that had been set up in the shadow of a tall rock. Much of the crew huddled there in cobbled together tents and shelter. A few of the crew lay on bunks, groaning slightly or otherwise laid up. Miraculously, nobody had died in the crash and the worst injury was a snapped leg that happened when a pony fell from the sails, but all of the hurts were still fresh enough to be painful.

A puff of green flared up into the sky and a trail of green ashes sailed off across the sea. Another message to Celestia. Spike had been sending them every few hours, keeping her updated on how poorly everything was going.

He lowered himself onto a deck chair and leaned back with a hard sigh. Something was pressed into his hand and he looked down to see Spike holding out a cup of water. He took it with a nod and took a long draw. Spike smiled and asked “How you doing?”

“Tired. You?”

“About the same.”

“We get anything back from Celestia?”

Spike frowned. “Not yet. I'll keep trying though. It's weird, she's usually not this unresponsive.”

“Yeah, weird.” He took another sip from his cup to hide his concern about that. “Coaster's gonna start getting built in the morning. Might be able to get it together in two days if we're quick.”

“I still say it's a mistake. We should just wait it out.” Spike insisted as he sat down on a rock. “Princess Celestia's going to send help, she has to.”

“Too risky. We don't know how long it'll take any rescue to get here, or even if they'll be able to get here. Besides, I'm getting the feeling that camping on this beach isn't the safest thing in the world, we don't know how long Cinder is going to tolerate us being here. Hell, we don't even know if this is Cinder's territory. I wouldn't put it past the jerk to push our ship into his neighbor's territory just so he doesn't have to deal with us.”

Spike frowned. “That'd be awful mean.”

“That's why I think it's possible.” Raj killed his drink and stared at the fire. “While you're all doing that though, I'm going to go find Torch. We have a couple tons of gold and jewels we still have to deliver or this whole mission is a bust.”

“Mission already seems busted Raj.” Spike said with a stern look.

Raj shrugged. “Since when have I let clear and abject failure stop me from doing something?”

Spike looked at him blandly. “Are all humans as idiotically stubborn as you?”

Raj thought about it and answered. “About half and half.”

“Great, that's just... that's just great.” The little dragon murmured as he wandered off to find somewhere to sleep.

* * *

It took Raj hours of aimless wandering, dodging lava flows and jets of what he hoped was steam, running from herds of scaly monsters that hurled stones at him from afar, and the odd earthquake(Equusquake?), but he was definitely, a hundred percent certain he was lost.

He scanned the horizon, looking for any landmarks to work off of, but nothing jumped out. Everything was blasted and cratered, either made from rough stone or jagged planes of black glass. With the sudden changes in elevation, he couldn't even tell where the ocean was. He looked around for some high ground to get his bearings and settled on the distant form of a volcano, hoping it wouldn't be too far to see either the ship or the valley he was searching for.

After a few miles of uneven traveling, he heard a voice shout at him from above. “Hey you!” Raj almost jumped out of his skin and hopped back, panicked. A blue blur hit the ground twenty feet off and he got a good look at the source of the voice. It was a blue, female dragon, of that he was sure, but many times smaller than Cinder. She looked like she'd come up to mid chest at full height. A crest of spines ran down her head and back, but they were angled like fins and a pair of curving horns dangled down from where ears would be on a human head. She snarled at him, scales lifting in a threat display and claws protruding. “What do you think you're doing here? Can't you read?” She pointed at a few illegible scratches on a nearby rock.

Raj looked at them blankly. “I... no, no I can't. Please, I don't mean any harm, don't be afraid.”

She scoffed, “Me, afraid of you? You're just a...” She trailed off when she got a good look at him and her face screwed up in confusion. “What, what are you?”

He put a hand on his chest. “My name's Raj, I'm a human working on behalf of Equestria. Are you Dragonlord Torch?”

The blue dragon rolled her eyes. “Do I look like Dragonlord Torch?”

“I don't know what he looks like. So... maybe?”

She gave a frustrated sigh and crossed her arms. “My name's Ember. Princess Ember. Torch is my stupid Dad.”

Raj let surprise show on his face. “Oh! Great, that's great. I need to speak with him. It's about returning something of his. Something that was stolen a long time ago.”

Her scales flattened and her claws retracted, her expression going rather bored. “Oh, you're the one that Cinder was talking about. He said he smashed some monkey-thing's ship when it gave him some lip. I wish I had been there for that, it sounds hilarious.” She laughed slightly to herself.

“I wouldn't call what I'd been giving him 'lip' exactly. More like begging for my life and safety.”

Ember shrugged. “Whatever. My Dad lairs near the opening of a crag next to that mountain. Come on, I'll wake him up for you.”

“You sure? Seems you're tired of me already.” Raj offered, hoping to leave the rude dragoness behind.

She snorted. “If anyone but me wakes up my Dad, he'll roast them on principle. The only reason I'm doing it is so that you get out of here faster and I don't have to deal with my Dad whining about someone getting so close to him. Now hurry up, I don't have all day.” She took off and Raj hurried to keep up.

She led him to the base a mountain that stabbed high up into the sky, an ominous glow blazing from the peak of it and black, hardened lava flows running down the slant of it. A smaller mountain nestled in the shadow of it, maybe a thousand feet high and covered in faintly blue spars of rock. He was forced to hop gingerly over cooled lines of lava that still thrummed with heat and cursed at the smell of his burning boot leather.

After some mild burning and a great deal of insults from his guide, he stood at the base of the huge mountain and its foothill. Ember landed nearby and he asked, “Alright, which way now?”

“What do you mean which way?” She said with a sneer. “We're here.” She then strolled up to the foothill and knocked a claw against it. “Dad! Dad, wake up. Some... thing is here to talk to you!”

Raj was confused for a moment, then the damn mountain shuddered and started to open.

The irregularly rocky surface revealed itself to be a hide of scales, each one as big as the hood of a car and coming to a slightly raised bulb at their nadir. What he thought were flat expanses of rock were actually the webbing of enormous wings, each one the size of a football field. What he thought were rocky spars showed to be an enormous breastplate, somehow forged from heat blackened metal. As the thing rose up, he saw a head wider than a highway flanked by a pair of plunging horns that went low and then swooped up to point at its titanic jaw. A massive claw crunched into the stone and a rumble like an earthquake sounded. The edifice of its face split open to reveal a titanic maw large enough to swallow a semi-truck whole ringed with fangs and teeth.

Raj stared open mouthed in stupid panic. A small, screaming part of him realized each of those teeth were bigger than his torso.

It rose up on its hind legs, wings spreading wide and arms reaching for the sky. And then Dragonlord Torch roared.

The mountain they stood in the shadow of shook, small rocks and pebbles rolling down the slope. The world shook, as far as he could tell, and he shook with it. He felt his joints rumble and his bones knocked against themselves. A deep basso note rippled the air and he felt his eardrums flex. He couldn't breathe, could barely stand under the all encompassing force.

Then it halted as the great dragon's mouth closed with a thunderclap of sound and it lowered smoothly to all fours. It worked its jaw a few times like it was tasting its mouth and scratched idly beneath a wing. Slowly, it curled an elbow a few times as if it had slept on it wrong. It looked around blearily, visibly tired still.

The thing hadn't been roaring, Raj realized, Dragonlord Torch had been yawning.

Ember flapped up to her father's face and perched on the sharp beak of his nose, looking like nothing but a blue speck on the giant dragon's face. He heard her yelling something at him but he couldn't make it out. After a moment, Torch's eyes went wide and a shudder passed through him. A brief, rumbling sound came from the massive thing and Raj saw him sit up a bit straighter and his stomach tucked in slightly.

Torch brought himself low, pressing his chin to the ground so that Raj felt like he facing a talking house instead of a talking skyscraper. Ember hopped off his nose and landed next to Raj, her arms crossed. Torch spoke, his jaw barely moving, producing a volume comparable to a normal yell. “I am Dragonlord Torch! Known as Death on Wings to the Griffons, Vah Neech Baaten to the Rakshasa, and Grandson to Bahamut himself! I am the Undefeated-”

“Unless you count that pegasus with the shield.” Ember side-whispered.

Torch shot her a quick glare and continued, “-Lord of of all Dragons!” He finished with a shout that rippled Raj's skin. The words echoed for a moment off the stony crags and Torch slid closer, turning to scrutinize him with a single, garage-door sized eye. He squinted, his pupil shrinking from the size of a bathtub to no wider than his fingertip in a second, the muscles of Torch's iris sliding against each other loud enough Raj could hear them move. He rumbled, “And who are you?”

It took Raj a moment to realize he was supposed to speak. He stuttered, his voice cracking high, “I-I'm Ra-Rajrishi Singh Oberoi. Captain of the Lunar Guard, newly re-formed.”

Torch paused as if waiting for him to continue. When it became clear there was nothing else to him, he snorted slightly but still enough Raj felt the hot wind eddy up to touch him. Torch rose back up to his full height and looked down at him. He eyes flicked to the blue dragoness standing to his side and behind and he rumbled. “I see you have already met my daughter, Ember. Did she give you any trouble?”

Raj shook his head, courage slowly returning and he gave a bow. “No, no trouble at all. She was very helpful in finding you Lord Torch.”

“You do well to give her some respect. Ember's going to be the next Dragonlord you know.” Torch said with a prideful nod.

Ember rolled her eyes and took a step back. “Dad, don't start this sludge again. I don't want to be Dragonlord!”

“Nonsense. You'll be perfect for it. End of discussion.” Torch answered back.

Ember growled and stomped a foot. Raj saw that and spoke up. “Well, I'm sure you have many long years of life ahead of Lord Torch. Such things can be settled in time.”

Torch gave him a mild scowl. “What? You think I'm dying? Ha!” he let out a short bark of laughter that shook the mountain. “Dragonlord is not an inherited position. Like everything a dragon ever gets, it must be earned. And when the time comes, Ember will acquit herself well in the earning of such an honor.”

Ember pressed her palm against her beak and shook her head. Raj was almost sure he saw brief hint of amusement on Torch's enormous face before it returned to his resting scowl. “But that is enough on such trivial things. Why has my daughter brought you to me and interrupted my sleep?”

Raj's purpose came back to him in a flash and he hurried to explain. “I'm a human, here on behalf of Equestria. We seek to return something to you in the name of goodwill, something that was stolen long ago.”

“Well, out with it then!” Torch pushed.

Raj took a step back. “Treasure. Several tons of it, stolen more than a thousand years ago by a sky pirate by the name of Jolly Roger.”

Torch scrutinized him for a moment and then drew in a sharp breath, held it, and then let it out slowly. “Ahh yes, I recognize the smell of that old gold. I looked for that burned Rakshasa and his Titan-built craft for the better part of a century but never found it. Where was it hidden?”

“A cave in the Shattered Lands.” Raj answered back.

“And you recovered it?” Torch said, audibly surprised. “To venture into that twisting place is to court death. You're braver than your size would say.”

“Thank you Lord Torch.” Raj bowed again. “I had my people leave the treasure on the beach to the south. You are welcome to collect it at your leisure. I would have it brought to you, but we experienced troubles on our way here.”

“Cinder crashed their ship on the rocks.” Ember said blandly while studying a claw.

“Did he now?” Torch said back.

“Yup, broke their whole dumb pony-boat clean in half.”

Torch rumbled with laughter. “Hilarious. But even if you could bring it, I could not accept a gift such as that.”

Raj froze. “W-what?”

“Of course. I can't simply accept a gift like that, it would insult my dragon honor. Were you deaf when I said everything a dragon owns must be earned? No, to get this treasure from you will require a proper challenge!” He turned about and started walking off. “Come along, to the Magmadrome!”

* * *

The Magmadrome ended up being little more than an ash filled caldera at the top of a nearby volcano, a small lake of molten stone bubbling at the center. Torch sat in a depression cut into the rim of the caldera that had to have been made for his exclusive use.

Dozens of fully grown dragons lounged on the rim of the volcano, all of them equal to Cinder in size and wildly varying in their form. Raj, quite naturally, was terrified. Apparently when Dragonlord Torch calls for a formal challenge, everyone attends.

Raj sat waiting on a carved stone seat on a raised plinth next to Torch, elevated enough that he was level with the massive creature's head. He sat nervously for more than thirty minutes until Torch let out a settling roar at some invisible signal, startling Raj just shy of wetting himself.

“Dragons!” Torch shouted, quieting the murmuring conversation. “Today, we have a rare opportunity. A great treasure has been brought to the Dragonlands and I, in my infinite grace, have decided that this treasure will be put up as a prize in a free for all contest of wing-war.” He paused for a moment and then shouted. “BE THANKFUL!”

Murmurs of thanks and general positivity reached Raj through the ringing in his ears. After absorbing that for a few moments, Torch continued. “All dragons that are eligible may compete. The last dragon standing wins the prize. Now, assemble!”

Most of the generally smaller dragons got up from their perches and flew forward, spacing themselves in a way that Raj was fairly certain this was an established game that dragons would play. Raj looked to his side and saw Ember a few feet away, arms crossed as she looked down at the assembling dragons. “Are you going down?”

“To what? Play a round of wing-war with those boulder heads? No way.” She said back snidely.

“The scales you're not girl!” Torch rumbled, his enormous eye flicking down to his daughter. “As Dragonlord, I can't compete.”

“Yeah, so?”

“So I want my gold back. I name you as the Dragonlord's Champion, empowered to fight in my honor and earn me glory. Now go, go fight and win.”

Ember glared at her Father for a moment before turning away and begrudgingly flying down into the caldera. Raj watched her go and squinted, a hunch forming in the back of his mind that he kept to himself.

A roar sounded and all the dragons on the ground flapped up into the air and bulleted at each other. It took Raj only a minute to figure out the nature of the game: Don't touch the ground or you lose.

He watched a brown dragon the size of a car take a hard hit directly in its wing joint and the limb locked up. It tried to balance out with the other one but it had lost too much momentum and it ate ashes. It sprang up to its claws, roared frustration at the other players, and trotted off to the side of caldera as the spectators laughed and jeered.

Raj squinted, trying to pick Ember out of the aerial crowd. He found her after a minute and immediately realized why Torch had chosen this contest. Ember wasn't as big as most of the other dragons, but she was a hellion in the air. Eating up distance in rapid flaps and going in and out of manic dives when she went on the attack, she was flying loops around her nearest competitor. She wasn't anywhere near as fast as Rainbow Dash, but she was almost as maneuverable. He thought about offering that as a compliment, but realized nobody else would see it that way.

Five minutes in there were barely any fliers left, just Ember and six others. One of the larger ones went into a too sharp turn that left it sprawling in the air and easy prey for a pair that seemed to be working in a team. While they were ganging up on the vulnerable one, Ember flew in behind the two, grabbed their twisting horns, and cracked their skulls together. The two drifted down to the ground stunned while their prey crashed headlong into a wall. That left four.

“Girl's decisive.” Raj said.

“That she is.” Torch rumbled back, a touch of pride in his tone.

Two of them got into a midair wrestling match while the other, a bigger red one with significant overbite, began chasing her. Ember let him, drawing him into a twisting ascent that cost her a lot less energy than her pursuer. The red one started to lose steam, and it was then that she snapped her wings against her sides and fell into him, back legs first. The red one crumpled and started losing altitude, plummeting towards the magma pool. To his credit, he started to correct himself but was too fatigued from the chase and ended up plopping into the molten rock to a chorus of roars from the crowd. Raj shuddered for a moment before the red dragon crawled out, seemingly unharmed.

The rest of the match was rather boring in comparison. The wrestling pair decided to gang up on Ember but she was still too quick. She kept out of their reach for a few minutes until fatigue became a factor and ended up colliding with each other. That left Ember the sole dragon standing.

Torch stood up to his full height and roared, loosing a column of flame that dwarfed Cinder's and actually managed to drive Raj past the point of wetting himself this time. Ember flapped back over to the perch next to her Father, looking tired, a little beaten, and not pleased in the slightest with her victory. She crossed her arms and shot the both of them a dirty look. “There Dad, I won you your stupid treasure. Go and get it.”

“Not all of it is mine girl. The champion gets half of any prize won. Why else would a self respecting dragon accept such a thing, honor or not?” Torch chuckled.

Ember's eyes went wide. “Wait, I could have refused?”

“Unimportant. What is important, is that you go and gather the new addition to your hoard. You need to pick up some size if you're going to compete in the Gauntlet of Fire.”

Ember sneered at him and shouted. “How many times do I have to tell you? I don't want to-”

Torch cut her off with a rumble. “Captain, tell my daughter where to find her winnings.”

Ember's gaze cut towards him and he hesitated. “Um, boat on the shore to the north. Big broken thing, can't miss it. Ask for a unicorn named Blueblood, he'll give you what you need.”

“Whatever.” Ember spat and flapped into the air, already soaring off to the north.

Torch watched and shook his head. “I swear to Bahamut, that is the only whelp on this world that can go to collect tons of fairly won treasure in a bad mood.”

Once she was out of earshot, Raj said. “Dragonlord Torch, may I ask you a question?”

“If you must.”

“There is no champion thing in the draconic laws, is there?”

Torch gave him a scrutinizing look for a moment. “You're a bit more perceptive than I thought.”

“So there isn't then?” He asked again.

“No, of course not. How could there be a law mandating dragons fighting on behalf of other dragons? That's unnatural.” The old beast explained.

“Then why lie?”

“Because Ember needed to compete! I couldn't just give her the treasure, that part was true at least. Her flying talents, brains, and with increased strength from a bit more size? She'll be a Dragonlord for sure.” Torch explained.

“She seems dead set on being Dragonlord. Every time it comes up she rails against it.”

Torch shrugged. “Here in a few days I'll manufacture some reason to forbid her from competing. That will get her to change her tune. Best way to get that girl to do anything is to tell her she can't. Gets that from her mother.”

Raj stared at him, surprised for a few moments. “So, you have to lie and manipulate her into taking actions that advance her self interests?”

“Do you have a problem with that human?”

“No, no. I'm just surprised. I've traveled a nearly impossible distance, and yet being a parent is still basically the same.”

Torch actually cracked a smile and let out a brief chuckle. The chuckle threatened to collapse the stones beneath his feet, but it was still a laugh. Torch turned, slowly heading down the mountain. “Come Captain, I'll walk you back to your ship.”

The trip down side of the volcano was quite harrowing, both due to the steep angle and the semi-regular earthquakes that shook its surface. Raj did manage though, only falling down six times. Once they reached the bottom, they talked as they walked, Torch's voice somehow modulating to be audible over his own slow steps but not so much it threatened Raj's eardrums.

“So I assume you have a whelp of your own?”

Raj nodded. “I do. He's twel-, thirteen now. I don't know how dragons age, but that's about the start of adolescence.”

“That would make Ember a bit older I think. Relatively at least. Does yours constantly think that they're moments away from being adult as well?”

“Oh yeah. I remember the day he got his first underarm hair, he was so proud of himself. He was walking around the house shirtless, finding excuses to lean on things in hopes that me and his Mom would notice or something. It was hilarious.”

Torch chuckled. “Sounds like Ember when her horns started coming in. I caught her talking about how she was going to set up her lair when she moved into her own. Had to handle that one real fast.” He shook his head. “She's a good whelp though. Smart, way smarter than I was at her age. She might very well be the best whelp I've ever had. Fitting that she'd be the last.

Raj frowned. “Why would she be the last? Is... is something happening to you?”

Torch side-eyed him. “What is your obsession with thinking I'm dying? No, she'll be my last because I'm old! I'm a hundred generations past my whelping years. I don't need any more little scaled specks waking me up every two weeks asking for gems to eat because they're too small to go get their own.”

“Yeah, feeding your kids. Such a pain in the ass.” Raj deadpanned.

Torch snorted. “I've vaporized beasts for speaking to me so flippantly. You're lucky I'm in a good mood human.” The giant dragon chuckled lightly. “It's not just the annoyance. It's a challenge when you're my size to even exist around something as small and fragile as a whelp. For instance, do you have any idea how much effort it's taking to not accidentally kill you right now?”

Raj paused. “Not a lot, I hope?”

Torch huffed. “It is a lot. I have to engage the magic in my wings so I don't settle all my weight on the ground. If I didn't, I might cause a sinkhole. I've been tamping down my inner furnace, otherwise my body heat would roast you alive at this distance. Scales, I have to trick my voice around you. If I talked at my normal level, your eardrums would explode in your head!”

Raj stared up at the giant creature. Torch was a creature the size of a skyscraper. Easily the biggest living thing he had ever seen and likely would ever see. He had never even considered what life would be like for something with that much power. “I hadn't realized that kind of power could be so alienating, or exhausting.

“Alienating. That's a good word for it.” Torch grumbled. “No, I got very lucky with Ember. I don't need any more after her, Bahamut knows I have plenty.”

“How many children do you have anyway?” Raj asked.

Torch shrugged. “Hundreds. Maybe even a thousand, I'd have to sit down and do the math to get an exact number. Had my first during the war, maybe a couple times older than Ember is now, and I just kept going for a few millennia. I had meant to stop a few centuries ago, but Ember was a bit of a surprise.”

Raj laughed. “I know that feeling.”

“Do you now?” Torch asked, intrigued.

“Yeah. I had my son when I was Ember's age, maybe even younger. Both me and my wife were still living with our parents at the time.”

“Is that normal for humans?”

“God no. We were dumb kids that made a dumb mistake. Imagine being your daughter's age, all that anxiety and idiocy rolled up in an awkwardly growing package, and add in being responsible for a helpless newborn. That's what I did.” Raj answered back, a pitying smile on his face.

“I'm sure that would have resolved itself pretty quickly actually.” Torch said.

“How's that?”

“I'm pretty sure I would have accidentally killed the kid in less than a week.”

The two shared a laugh as they continued on towards the shore.

* * *

When they arrived at the boat, pretty much everypony there was in a panic.

A crude defensive line had been built out of spare wood and every able crewman was huddled behind it clutching weapons. As they got nearer, he saw several of the crew break and run off screaming down the beach.

Raj frowned. “I think they're scared of you.”

Torch smiled. “They should be. I am quite terrifying.”

“I'm going to go ahead and see if I can keep everyone calm. Please wait here.”

Torch shrugged and Raj went sprinting towards the beach. As he got nearer, a black eyed unicorn came running from the defensive line, a wild look in his good eye. “Captain! Thank Celestia you're back, we're about to be attacked by some sort of walking mountain!”

“Stand down. That's Dragonlord Torch, he's here for his treasure.”

Blueblood pointed a hoof at the giant beast. “That's Dragonlord Torch?!”

“Yeah, it is. I know, he's really big. I kinda peed myself when I first saw him, don't worry about it. There should have been another dragon here earlier.”

Blueblood looked at the distant Torch for a few moments and shook his head, sense returning. “Yeah, blue, smaller, yeah she was here. Said she'd earned half of the treasure in a contest and demanded we bring it out to her. When I tried to ask a question she punched me in the eye.” In the distance, Raj heard Torch start laughing.

“Are you okay?” Raj asked.

“No Captain, I just said I was punched in the eye.” He shot back, his tone sounding like he was addressing an idiot.

“Fine. Then have someone else get the rest of the stuff out if you're too hurt to do it yourself. And get someone to chase down the runaways.” Blueblood grumbled and set off, horn glowing as he set to his tasks. Raj turned around and continued at normal volume. “Dragonlord Torch, I'm assuming you can hear me. Please come get your treasure.” After a second, Torch's distant form started trudging towards the beach.

By the time the giant dragon had arrived, the remaining crates were stacked up outside the ruined ship. Torch lowered his enormous head to them and sniffed hard enough a few panels came off and flew up his nose. He snorted and raised back up, coughing slightly. “Ahh, I recognize that smell. It's my old treasure all right.”

“I'm glad it meets your expectations. Please, take it with Equestria's goodwill.”

“Happily.” Torch reached a claw down and daintily lifted on the crates. He held it to his mouth and exhaled a burst of flame over it, vaporizing it in an instant. Raj had seen Spike do the same trick, storing matter within his internal fire. It made no sense to him, but that was par for the course.

Torch did the same trick with the rest of the boxes and snorted, finally dislodging the bits of wood he'd inhaled. He breathed easy for a moment and then looked down at him again. “Now that that's done, I have one last thing. Your ship, it's broken, correct?”

Raj frowned. “Um, yes it is Lord. Cinder did a real number on it.”

“How long will it be to fix?”

“Days sir, maybe more than a week. After that, we're going to coat our way north to Griffin lands. Catch a ride back to Equestria from there.” Raj shrugged. “It's about all we can do.”

Torch shook his head. “You'll go from squatting on my beach to sailing along the shores of a dozen territories to begging for help from ill-tempered pigeons? That is unacceptable.”

Raj held up his hands in a helpless gesture. “Well, what do you propose?”

* * *

There were a great many things Raj had learned during his time in Equestria. The true origin of all sentient species, that magic was real, what it was like to have super strength, and just how lonely a person could feel. One thing he never expected to learn was just how rad it was to ride a dragon.

Torch was, admittedly, the Cadillac of dragons though. His back was broad enough to stroll on and he emanated just enough heat to cut the chill of the open air. There was even some sort of windbreak effect from his wings that cut the wind down. What should have been a ripping gale felt like a box fan on medium blowing against him.

His fellow passengers were not of a mind to enjoy the experience however. Much of the crew, Blueblood included, were huddled in the cleft beneath the backplate of Torch's armor, terrified that at any moment Torch would dump them from his back and let them break apart against he ocean. Only the more adventurous sailors had decided to throw caution to the wind and enjoy the once in a lifetime experience.

Not that they had much time to appreciate it. They had been in the air maybe two hours and they were already nearing the coast of Equestria.

Vast swathes of ground rushed past, too fast for Raj to identify. He was pretty sure he saw the port of Whinnypeg whip past, but by the time he was able to focus it was a blank dot on the horizon. Rajrishi had no idea how fast they were going but was pretty sure it would have made Rainbow Dash furious.

“We're getting close, hold onto something.” came Torch's voice, emanating up from the scales of his back. Raj didn't question it and immediately clung to one of the orange spines protruding from his scales. Vertigo hit as Torch decelerated and banked hard. Raj looked down and saw Ponyville Square, several small shapes running for cover. The voice emanated again “Anywhere I can land around here?”

Raj shouted back that there was and guided him towards the Flats, the only open terrain that could accommodate the enormous beast. Torch landed hard, great rents in the earth shearing open from the impact. Once still, he stretched out a leg to form a ramp and grumbled “Alright, everyone off.” Every passenger sprinted off the giant dragon in about a second.

Once everyone was off, Torch turned around and rose to his full height. “I hope this is your village. I'm not carrying you all again.”

Raj laughed. “It is, don't worry.”

“Good.” Torch turned his head and coughed a gout of green, the flame solidifying into the ruined hulk of the ship. It tumbled into a gully with a crash and a plume of dust. “Don't need that littering up my beach.”

Rajrishi turned to the assembled crew. “Blueblood, Spike, go into town and tell everypony what happened. Try and calm them down. I'm guessing Dragonlord Torch caused a bit of an uproar. The rest of you, the train station is on the north side of town. Get whatever ticket you need to get yourselves home. Dismissed.”

Blueblood gave him a crisp salute and Spike gave a nod. The rest of them just zipped off, some of them screaming in stymied terror. Torch smiled at the reaction, seemingly wistful. Raj bowed low and said. “Thank you again Dragonlord Torch. You may have just saved some of our lives.”

Torch rolled his eyes. “Save your thanks. They were stinking up my territory with their pony-smells. Gonna be weeks before that washes out of the rock. But if you insist on thanking me, I'd have a question instead.”

“Name it.”

“A few months ago, a dragon came here to lay her eggs, a larger one. Female. I smelled her on you when we first met.”

Raj paused, suddenly unsure. “Yes, she was here. What about it?”

“She's dead then?” Torch asked bluntly.

Raj thought about lying to him, but didn't see much point. “She is.”

“What happened to her eggs?”

“I managed to save them. They're being incubated in Canterlot right now. As far as we can tell, they're healthy and viable.”

Torch narrowed his eyes. “Hmm, then I believe I owe you a great deal more than a simple ride Captain. I have another request though.”

“Go ahead Dragonlord Torch.”

Torch pointed an enormous claw at his chest. “Keep that to yourself. I know its unlikely, but I don't want it getting back to Ember. She has a great deal going on and she doesn't need her mother's death distracting her.”

Raj froze. “That dragon was... so the... holy.” He paused, surprised by it all. “I... yes Torch. I won't tell a soul.”

“See that you don't.” He flared his wings and brought them down into a heavy beat, lifting his mountainous bulk from the ground.

Loyal to What?

“See, the problem I'm running into is the fact that there isn't a great deal I can do.” Raj said, staring up at the drifting snow as he leaned back on the lamp post.

“It was easier when I felt more purpose. Waiting near the arch like I did, I felt like it was important. Later, after it got wrecked, I was stomping through the whole Everfree looking for another one. I didn't actually accomplish anything, but I felt like I did. I was active, it felt like I was working towards something, but it was all meaningless. See, that's the weird rub to it. Intellectually, I know that it was wasted time, but I still miss it a lot. Doesn't make sense, does it?”

He turned towards his companion, curled up on the train platform. His hooves were underneath him and his hands were bound by chains. His wasted form was huddled under a cloak, trying to conserve his own meager heat. The creature glared, the menace undercut by his swollen-shut eye.

“Don't get me wrong, I know that what I'm doing is important, both now and before. If I hadn't helped with the Apple family's dog problems, someone probably would have died. Finding that cure in the old griffon colonies definitely saved lives. Finding Jolly Roger's boat was super important. I know all that. At the end of the day though, the only progress I've made on getting home was that damn memory potion.” He drummed his fingers against his arm. “It's weird that false progress was so much more satisfying than the real thing.”

The prisoner grumbled, giving his chains an experimental tug. “I have no idea what you are yammering about, but I am certain that I do not want to.”

Raj held up his end of the chain, tightly coiled around his fist, and yanked back. “No reason to be a dick Tirek.”

As far as royal assignments went, this one had been on the easier side. A few ponies had popped up in Baltimare with their magic siphoned out. Raj had been summoned and tasked with finding the renegade prisoner. It had only taken him a few hours of going around the city before the centaur had approached him. He though Raj would be on his side, coming to aid his fellow Briarus spawn with his escape and rise to power. Raj had availed him of that notion when he cracked his hornlet and punched him in the face.

Tirek snarled from his seated position. “I will treat you however I choose traitor.”

“I don't that scans for me. How can I be a traitor here? I've never even heard of Briarus before last year. I'm not part of any war, never have been.”

“Yes you are!” Tirek spat. “You were the moment you drew breath on whatever world you hail from. Briarus gives us only two commands; do not war with your kin, and never be a friend to pony folk. You have violated both you disgusting beast. You're not better than my pathetic brother.”

“The gargoyle, right? How does that even work? What with him being a winged humanoid and you being a horned and behooved guy. Like, what was your mom? Cause one of you was a real pain in the ass to get born.” Raj said back diffidently.

“Your ignorance hurts.” Tirek said back as he crossed his arms, trying to keep warm. “All of Briarus' children can interbreed with each spawn retaining a true form of one of their parents.”

Raj paused, a slightly disgusted look on his face. “Great, so if I'm truly stuck here I can start a second family with a giant snake or a minotaur. Awesome, good to know.”

Tirek snarled and turned away, muttering darkly to himself.

“Again, I don't get that. You've been locked in Tartarus for god knows how long, this is probably the first conversation you've had in centuries, and you want me to be quiet. I'm surprised you're cutting off just because I won't help you get revenge for Briarus' death.”

“Briarus is not dead.” Tirek said flatly.

“Everything I've read and heard says otherwise.”

The centaur's eyes flicked over to Raj. “Then everything you've read and heard has been a lie. Briarus is not dead, none of the Titans are. The idea is ridiculous.”

“Doesn't mean it's not true. The Faustmare killed them, in the Shattered Lands.”

Tirek chuckled. “If our lord Briarus lacked the power to kill his fellow Titans, then the mother of horses certainly did as well.”

Raj was quiet for a moment. “You know, you're not the first one to tell me the Titans are alive. But if they are still around, where are they? I've talked with things that were impossibly ancient, and none of them know where they are.”

A devious smile came to Tirek's long face. “I have some theories. There is little to do in Tartarus but think. I'll share them with you, provided you remove these chains.” he held up his bound hands.

Raj turned to him. “I saw what you did to those ponies Tirek. If I wasn't under strict orders to bring you back alive, I would have taken your head off just for that. If I let you go, you'll do that more. No sell.”

“Orders? Feh, you're nothing but a lapdog.” Tirek spat.

“Yup.” Raj said back, almost meaning it.

“I have the information you seek. I can help you find your way home again.” Tirek said, pleading.

“You and several others I'd wager. I'll take my chances on several others.”

Tirek sighed. “Pity.” He stood up and shouted, scissoring his arms apart and snapping the links of the chain binding him with a hard crack.

Raj bolted up fully, suddenly alert. His hands hovered over the Apple Axes and he said. “Come on, are we really doing this again? I took you down no muss no fuss before.”

Tirek hoofed at the ground with a back leg. “You sucker punched me before. I believe you'll find me to be a much hard combatant in a fair fight!” He lowered his head and charged, his single horn sparking.

* * *

Several hours later, Raj kicked open the door to the throne room, Tirek bound in chains and draped over a shoulder.

“Captain! Were thou successful?” Luna asked from her side-throne next to her sister.

“Yup.” Raj said back plainly as he walked forward.

“Was Tirek much trouble?” Celestia asked as she descended the steps from her throne.

“Not much.” He hefted the prisoner off his shoulder and gently lowered him to the floor. Tirek was unconscious, a thin cut on his head still dribbling a line of red. One of his forward legs had a jink in it and his eye had swollen even more. “I had to subdue him twice.”

“I can see that.” Celestia said, a faint note of disgust in her tone. “Good work Captain. The minotaur wardens will see to transporting Tirek back to his cell in Tartarus.” She nodded at a pair of guards to take the unconscious centaur away.

Once the stallions had cleared the prisoner away, Luna nodded to him and said, “You are dismissed Captain. Return to Ponyville with the gratitude of the crown.”

“If I may, Princesses. I have something I wish to discuss.” Raj said. “With both of you.”

Both of them looked surprised for a moment, Celestia perhaps a bit impatient if Raj didn't imagine it. The solar princess answered him first, “We are both rather busy Captain. You may arrange an audience through the royal majordomo, she will see that you are allotted the time you require.”

Raj considered taking the rebuffing in stride and just leaving. He tossed that out almost instantly however and was working out how best to phrase his refusal of that when Luna managed to do it for him.

Princess Luna turned towards her sister slightly and said. “Sister, this is Captain Rajrishi. If he hath a matter to speak with us, then it is a matter of some import. We should not place him amongst the petty lords and merchants that struggle for our attention. Besides, you know as well as I how rarely we both take court at the same time.”

Celestia paused for a second, but Raj was pretty sure he saw a dozen separate thoughts flick across her mind in that time. She thought about refusing, lying, pretending to be sick, pretending to be busy, and then ultimately deciding that no excuse would be worth the effort of delaying the conversation for a few weeks at best. She smile quaintly and nodded, “You are quite right Luna. What is it you wish to discuss Captain?”

He went right into it. “Something Tirek said before I captured him the second time. He told me that Briarus is still alive. That the Titans are still alive.”

“Nonsense.” Luna said sharply. “Our mother slew them and ended the Forming Wars thousands of years ago.”

“Yeah, I read your book. I know all that. It's just that these aren't the first people that have told me this. I heard it from Slitherscale, from Bakasura, and Torch was pretty cagey on the subject.”

Luna waved a hoof. “Naga are lying beasts, the children of the Asura see no value in truth and the draconic folk cared nothing for Bahamut in life, we see no reason they would care much for him in death.”

“Were you there Luna?” Raj asked flatly. “Were you there when the Titans died?”

Luna hesitated a second before answering. “We... I was not. Injuries from battle had laid me low and I was in recovery during the final battle. I only awoke months later to find the Shattered Lands where they are now and mine siblings and mother gone.”

“So the only one who was there, is you.” Raj said slowly, his eyes settling on Princess Celestia.

Celestia gave a faint nod. “Correct. I stood at my mother's side during the final battle. It was an honor.”

“I can only imagine.”

A tense moment of silence passed between the three of them, Raj never losing eye contact with Celestia. Luna noticed this and said nothing, letting the instant pass.

Celestia broke the quiet first. “Exactly what do you want to know Captain? Speak plainly.”

“Are there any living Titans?”

“None, aside from those that retired from the universe before the war. Beyond those, none yet live in this iteration of the universe.”

Raj scrutinized everything about her that he could. Her expression, the micro shifts to her posture, even the slowly rippling pattern of her mane. He didn't pick up anything that told him she was lying.

“Okay.” He nodded. “Good, thank you Princess.” He bowed and turned to march out.

Princess Luna called after him. “Fare thee well Captain, we shall have need of you soon enough.”

* * *

Later that day a pony dropped from the ceiling of the library.

He reacted to that about as naturally as one could expect; he swore, half drew his knife, and stumbled backwards into the shelf and then collapsed to the floor.

The cream colored, two-tone haired mare stood on the table, eyeing him levelly. She waited for him to regain his feet before asking, “Are you okay Captain? Did I startle you?”

“You're damn right you did!” Raj yelled as he stood up. “Who does that, who even does that? Hiding in someone else's ceiling? Why were you up there? How long were you up there?”

She looked up for a moment in thought. “About six hours, give or take.”

Raj's eyes went wide. “That's a long time to hide in a ceiling. Why were you up there?”

“I was waiting for Twilight and Spike to leave the library.” She answered back calmly. “I need to speak with you privately.”

“That makes sense. I have an important question before that though. Who the hell are you?”

The mystery mare actually smiled at that point. “Maybe this will help.” Then she did something subtly odd. She shifted her weight, brightened her eyes and expression and just seemed to alter the way she held herself. However that was enough that recognition hit Raj like a bolt of lightning.

“Bon-Bon? Why didn't-” He stopped when she reversed her subtle movement, shifting back. Raj was struck by the bizarre and completely illogical sense that the mare he was looking at was somehow a completely different pony from the one he was just speaking with. He shook his head. “Alright, that's freaky. Is that magic?”

“No it is not. It's amazing how much you can do with just facial control, posture, and some voice alteration. Add in a prop and a pony can completely fade into the background.” A small note of smugness entered her tone as she explained.

Not-Bon-Bon shifted into Bon-Bon and back again as another demonstration and Raj rubbed his head, already feeling a headache germinating in his skull. “Well, that's neat and all, but that doesn't answer my question. Why are you here?”

“Right.” she let out a breath and paused. “I'm with the Secret Monster Intelligence League of Equestria, an organization tasked with handling all monstrous threats to the country. And I need your help.”

Raj sighed. “Equestria has more ridiculous nonsense for me to do?”

“I wouldn't classify this as nonsense sir. This is an important task.” She said crisply.

“Yeah, of course. They're all important tasks.” He curled a hand into a fist. “I haven't even been home for half a day, you know that? I had to sleep on the damn train.”

“I do know that sir. I've been following you most of the day.”

“Of course you have. Dammit.” He rolled his hand. “Go on, give it to me.”

She took a breath. “Do you know what a changeling is?”

“Quadrupedal bug monsters that eat love and other positive emotions. Black carapace, glowing eyes, can assume the form of almost any living creature. A bunch of them took over the capital for a few minutes last year. Supposed to be dangerous.” Raj rattled off.

“Correct. We have reason to believe that one or more citizens of Ponyville have been replaced by changelings.” She said flatly.

That was startling. “For how long?”

“Not long. A few weeks at the most. A small clutch of the buggers were found in Trottingham last month. We managed to extract from one of them that a team was sent to Ponyville, but our prisoner couldn't identify the targets. I was tasked with finding the cell and eliminating it.” She explained.

“By yourself?” Raj asked, an eyebrow raised.

“I'm very well trained.” Bon-Bon said without a trace of ego. “I have a very strong sense that they are here, but I haven't had any luck yet. So, I asked the Princess-”

“Which Princess?” Raj interrupted.

“Excuse me?”

“Which Princess did you ask, Luna or the other one?” He clarified.

“Does it matter?”

“It matters a lot.”

Bon-Bon hesitated for a moment and said. “Princess Celestia is the official head of S.M.I.L.E. These orders come straight from her.”

“Of course they do.” Raj sighed and leaned back. This was going to be another bad one. “Please, continue.”

Without missing a beat, Bon-Bon picked back up. “I asked the Princess if I could get your assistance with this and she sent the go ahead, that's why I'm here.”

“Why sneak in and cling to the ceiling like you did? You could have just come in when Twilight wasn't here, not startled me or risked injury. There's nothing outlandish about a confectioner coming into a library.”

Bon-Bon shook her head. “My cover may be blown. If that's the case, then I didn't want any changelings copping to you being in the know. Right now, a very realistic double is doing a very fair approximation of sleeping in my bed, recovering from a late night of candy-making.”

“So when are you going to sleep?” Raj asked.

“I'm not.” She said back flatly.

“That's rough. So what do you need?”

“I need you to try and find out who the changeling might be. I can't be everywhere at once and if my cover is compromised, I need someone else to be looking. Also, you're the only one I can be sure isn't a changeling.”

“How's that?”

“I attached a sticker to the back of your pants when you got off the train that had a small enchantment on it. When I recovered it, your aetheric resistance had stripped the magic off. A changeling wouldn't be able to imitate that.” She explained.

Raj raised an eyebrow. “That's just like Twilight's old experiment. What, did you read my file or something?”

“Or something, yes.” She said back shortly.

“Great. So how am I going to be doing this anyway?” Raj said back, arms crossed.

“When a changeling assumes the form of somepony else, they inject them with their venom to paralyze them and then siphon off any love they may have lingering on them. That process also gives them some small fragments of their memories, short term and recent long term. That is usually enough to pass casual scrutiny from their victim's acquaintances and loved ones. From there, they consume the love that other ponies send them.” She explained with a scholarly tone.

Raj rolled his hand. “Yeah, I read the book Bon-Bon, get to how I stop them.”

She gave him a sour look. “Try to engage ponies on older topics or something high context. Odds are they won't have the skill set of whomever they're mimicking so if you can force a display of competence, then you know it's the real deal. Also, changelings have trouble with low temperatures, especially if they're transformed.”

“So pretty much anyone that seems like they're trying to avoid Winter Wrap-Up tomorrow?”

“Well, maybe not. Winter Wrap-Up can be a drag.”

“Alright, so all I need to do is subtly interrogate my friends to try and figure out if they're terrible bug monsters in disguise. Easy.” He said sarcastically. “Anything else?”

“Yes, one last thing. We'll need some means of determining if one another have been compromised. Here.” She held out a hoof and a small scroll tied up in her grip. “I wrote the phrase on that scroll years ago, the memory of writing it would be well outside a changeling's range of retrieval. We'll use that as our code-phrase.”

“Won't that be in my recent memories?” Raj asked.

“Which is why you're not going to read it, not yet at least. If you don't read it, then it likely won't stick out in your thoughts. If it doesn't stick out, any changeling that replaces you won't think to take it off of you. If I tell you to read the note and you don't have it, then I know you've been replaced. If I don't ask for the note, then you know I've been replaced. When next we meet, read the note and we'll go from there.”

“Fine. Anything else?”

“Yes. This is highly classified information, it can't be shared with anypony else.”

“Right, right, I don't know who could be a changeling.” Raj drolled.

“That, yes, but it could be even worse if you tell the wrong pony. This would cause a panic in the town, paranoia would run rampant. I don't know what it is about this town, but the citizens here are very prone to spontaneous bouts of freaking out.” She said.

“That's true. Way, way too true.” Raj said with a knowing nod. He'd had heard stories of the ponies of Ponyville rioting over a bunny stampede, a panic over a swarm of bugs, a brawl over a stuffed doll, and full quarantine panic over a sick child. Most recently he'd been witness to a full display of their powers of losing it when the whole town went on lockdown from Torch flying overhead. He didn't even have an idea of what a changeling being among them would cause. “Why didn't Celestia tell me about this earlier. I was in Canterlot earlier today, she could have told me about this then.”

“The Princess couldn't be sure who might be listening. If there are changelings here in town, then there could be spies in court or even among the staff. It was an unnecessary risk divulging this to you there.”

“I wish that made less sense, then I could complain about it.” Raj groused.

“I'm sorry sir, I'll try to be more aggravating next time.”

“Glad to hear it soldier. Alright, I'll probe the Elements and anyone else I have a history with. What do if I find one?”

“Subdue it and contact the Princess by any means. If we have confirmed changelings, we don't need to worry about being subtle.”

“God I hope I find a changeling then.” He said quietly as he started picking up the books he had knocked over.

Bon-Bon nodded. “I'll contact you after Winter Wrap-Up tomorrow. Keep a close eye out during, if changelings are going to grab anyone, they'll do it while everypony is occupied and many are isolated.” her head perked up. “I have to go.”

“Alright, just-” Raj turned back to her only to see her spot on the table stood empty. A second later, the back door off the kitchen opened and he heard Spike and Twilight enter, chatting about something amicably. To himself, he muttered. “Goddammit, I just got batmanned.” Before he went to greet the pair.

Unsuited to Task

The ponies broke up from their song and started trotting away, each heading for their own designated area to get started on the seasonal change. Raj went over to the group and said, “That is, without question, the weirdest thing about this planet.”

Pinkie rolled her head and said, “What? Do you not have songs on earth?”

“That sounds terrible.” Fluttershy shivered.

“We have music, we're not barbarians.” He said back defensively.

“Could've fooled me.” Spike teased from his perch on Twilight's back.

Raj flipped him off, a gesture Raj had only told Spike the meaning of, and the little dragon giggled at the hidden profanity. “We have songs the same as you, we just don't burst out into spontaneous concerts every now and then.”

“You'll get there eventually Rajy, you just need to be here longer.” Pinkie chirped as she bounced in a small circle around him. “As a matter of fact...” She smiled slyly and sucked in a long breath, getting ready to launch into another song.

Raj caught her on the next bounce and cut her off. “Gonna stop that one in its tracks is you don't mind.”

“Everypony, you have your assignments.” Twilight floated a clipboard in front of her, why she needed the board at all when she was manipulating it with magic, Raj was not sure. She checked a box off and pointed at Applejack.

“I'm off to start clearing fields. Need to get planting if we're gonna have anythin' to eat here in a month.” AJ drawled as she brushed a dusting of windblown snow from her hat. “Gale's gonna be a problem though, fields won't stay clear at this rate.”

Rainbow laughed. “Yeah, sorry about that. Me and the weather team are going to try and find the source of that before we go gather the birds. Shouldn't take more than an hour.”

“And I already know what I'm doing.” Fluttershy said with uncloaked glee, “And I can't wait to wake up all my friends. What about you Angel?” The little rabbit by her leg hopped up and down. The little creature excitedly pulled on her leg, either anxious to get started or just to leave in general.

“Don't forget Tank!” Dash said and she zipped close. “We still have to wake Tank up.”

“And I'm doing what I do every single day!” Pinkie reached into her mane and drew out a pristine eclair, held it for a moment, and then inhaled it. “Snack duty.” She said through a mouthful of pastry.

Everypony present laughed lightly and Twilight checked off more boxes on her board. “And I'm taking over nest-making duty for Rarity while she's sick.” Twilight said proudly.

“How many outhouses are you going to make this year Twilight?” Spike asked jokingly.

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Har har. Very funny. I'll have you know it's a cinch if you follow the template I came up with.” She gave her clipboard a quick scan and nodded. “Raj, did you remember the soup?”

Raj looked down at himself and said “I did not.”

“Ugh.” Twilight grunted and focused her magic. She disappeared in a flash of light and re-appeared a handful of seconds later, a large jar of soup in her horn’s grip. She floated it to Raj. “Take that to Rarity, make sure she's doing okay. She must be feeling awful about having to miss Winter Wrap up because she's sick.”

“Right.” He inspected the jar for a second and asked. “Can I take Spike with me?”

She glanced at the little dragon for a moment and said “Yes. I'm sure seeing her favorite dragon will lift her spirits.”

“Cool. When I'm done with that, I'll come clear snow with Applejack.” He held out a fist to her. AJ clapped a hoof against his fist and he gave her a scowl. “You call that bump? Put some pepper on it.”

“I'll show ya pepper.” She drew back a leg, held it for a second, and stabbed her limb upwards, striking his fist with a crack, making him slide back a step.

Raj shook his hand. “There we, ah, that's... ow.” He stuck his hand in the snow and smiled nervously, a good-natured chuckle rumbling up from the group.

* * *

Raj made his way down the path at a slow walk, the little dragon waddling along at his heels. Above, a patch of clouds were being dragged away by pegasi and bright sunlight assaulted his eyes off the blanket of white covering everything. In the distance, he could see the retreating lines of the plow ponies pushing their rigs in orderly rows. Closer, a team of pegasi were buzzing trees in rapid formations, dragging contrails of snow with them and funneling it towards a central location where wagons drawn by earth ponies were carting it off.

“They're doing a lot better than last year already. Skies already cleared up.” Spike said with a pointed claw. Raj looked up to see a few ponies in the sky, bucking clouds into disparate wisps of vapor. “Twilight did a good job setting up after last year.”

“Yeah, I heard about that.” Raj said back and continued walking. He eyed the little dragon as slyly as he could, wondering if anything was physically different about him. Crest was the same, scales looked the same, even had the same wide, generally blank eyes. If it was a copy, it was perfect.

Rajrishi hadn't forgotten about the task Bon-Bon had given him. He needed to discreetly find out if any of the Elements had been replaced by changelings. The key, he'd figured out, was getting them to demonstrate abilities that couldn't be duplicated. He had managed to entice Twilight to teleport, something no changeling could do no matter how well they could imitate unicorn magic. Pinkie had done some Pinkie nonsense and he felt safe saying that was exclusive to her and no one else. His morning spar with Rainbow had proven who she was, and that she was getting better. She also remembered Tank, and that would have been well outside of her recent memory. Angel seemed convinced Fluttershy was her, and animals seemed better able to sense through a changeling's disguise. And Applejack had demonstrated her incredible strength, another thing changelings couldn't imitate.

That left Spike and Rarity. Spike would be the method by which he would sound the alarm if a changeling was found. Tactically, that made him a higher priority target than anyone else. Cut off the enemy's communications and that gives you all the breathing room in the world.

He just needed Spike to breathe fire. Like his aetheric resistance, that was a magic shapeshifting couldn't replicate. Thankfully, Raj had come up with a foolproof plan to get his friend to display his magic without arousing any suspicion.

Raj picked up a stick from the side of the road and held it out. “Hey Spike. Burn this.”

“Sure.” He sucked in a breath and exhaled a puff of green fire that blew the chunk of wood to ash.

“Cool.” He said at the display. A foolproof plan.

Rarity was going to be harder. She didn't have any incredible powers that were irreproducible like the others, just an encyclopedic knowledge of fashion, something he could not match or verify, and a deliberately put upon manner that would be hard to pierce.

Not for the first time, he wondered how mad she would be if Raj punched her in the face to check if she was a changeling. He weighed the dangers of a possible invasion of love thieving bugs, and Rarity enraged by a bloody nose. He found the two to be largely comparable and decided to just wing it.

* * *

Raj rapped his knuckles on the door to Rarity's boutique. No answer came after a minute so he knocked again. Spike propped himself up on his tail and swiped a window clean to peer in. “Anything?” Raj asked.

“No, nothing. Maybe she's asleep?” He offered.

“Or in the bathroom.” Raj offered back. He jiggled the knob and found that it turned. “Door's open.” He stepped in and shouted, “Rarity?”

“In here. Close the door! You're letting the warmth out.” Came a stuffy reply back.

There was indeed a lot of warmth in the house. A blaze was in the fireplace with a small fan set in front of it to disperse the heat better. Further back in the kitchen he saw that the door to the oven was open, ripples of warmth drifting out of it.

“Wow.” Spike said as he scraped snow from his feet. “Are we in the Dragon Lands? This is nuts.”

“Yeah, must be at least a hundred degrees in here.” Raj answered back as he shrugged out of his coat.

“I hope Rarity is okay.”

“Me too.” Raj answered back truthfully for entirely different reasons.

They found her huddled near a workstation on a chair bent over a faintly steaming bucket with a blanket draped over her head. They heard sniffling from under the wrap. Rarity turned at their approach, blindly addressing them. “No, please, look away. I won't be so *cough* cruel as to force you lay eyes on such vulgarity as this.”

Spike frowned and stepped close to her huddled form. “It's fine Rarity, we're here to check on you.”

“We come bearing soup.” Raj lifted up the jar of sloshing liquid.

“That's very, um, excuse me.” She tore into a series of vicious coughs for a few seconds and then a sneeze so powerful it lifted her chair. She breathed heavy for a bit and started up again. “Nnngg, that's very sweet, both of you. But I would prefer nopony saw me so... un-fabulous. It's a grotesquerie.”

Raj rolled his eyes. “Rarity, I've raised a baby. I don't think you're physically capable of being as gross as that.”

“And I won't mind, I promise.” Spike pleaded.

Rarity coughed a few more times and shuddered from a sudden chill. “Ugh, fine. But only because I don't have the energy to argue.” She drew the wrap off and tossed it to the floor.

Honestly, Raj didn't think she looked all that bad. Her hair was rather unkempt and her coat was askew, but that was simply a lack of her normally obsessive regimen. The only signs she was actually ill were the bags under her eyes and a dry film under her nose where it had been running. He thought she might have been a bit paler than usual, but that was hard to tell with Rarity.

As he gave her a once over, she wrapped her hooves around her midsection and shivered. “There, you can confirm that I look atrocious. May I wrap up again? I am positively freezing.”

Spike looked upset for a moment before his face lit up. “Oh, I know!” he waddled forward and hugged her leg, a thin trickle of smoke rising from his nose.

“Spike, what're you-ohhhhh...” She trailed off as Spike started to glow faintly, the furnace of his dragonfire heating him up exponentially. “Oh, Spikey-Wikey, you're so warm.” She lifted him up into her lap and hugged him, luxuriating in the heat he was kicking off. Spike grinned like an idiot, unabashedly happy with the circumstances.

Raj smiled faintly at the sight and said, “See? We're already helping. I'll go heat this up. Bowl of hot soup and you'll be right as rain.”

“Saucepan is over the stove.” She said dreamily, eyes closed as she cuddled with the little dragon.

Raj ventured into the kitchen and found it several degrees warmer than the rest of the house. The oven was open and ripples of heat drifted out of it, raising the temperature of the building even more. Moving gingerly, he dumped the soup into a pot and got started heating it up.

So far, Rarity was the most suspect of those he needed to vet. Changelings were cold-averse, so it made sense for one to try and avoid participating in Winter Wrap-Up. However, it was also possible she really did have some weird Equestrian illness that made her so sensitive to the cold, he just had no idea what it could be. He had yet another lack of information and it grated on him.

Raj was shaken from his thoughts when he heard Rarity's stuffy voice. “Spike tells me a wonderful smell is coming from in here.” She shuffled up to his side and sniffled. “I can't really tell.”

He looked down at the pot of soup and saw a few bubbles breaking the surface. “Yeah, good and hot.”

“Fabulous.” Rarity croaked as she stood in front of the blazing oven, still shivering somehow.

Raj poured a pair of bowls and slid one to Rarity's seat. “Where's Spike? I made him some.”

“Spikey-Wikey was sweet enough to offer to draw me a warm bath.” She huffed. “Celestia knows I probably need it. I haven't had the energy to get a proper wash at all today.”

That was surprising. Raj didn't think any illness would keep Rarity from maintaining even the barest bits of her beauty regimen. It wasn't a certainty though, Rarity did present herself as being rather delicate. He decided to give her some rope.

“Well, eat in a hurry then, otherwise the water will get cold.” he passed her a spoon. “It's corn chowder. Sweetie Belle told me that your Mom would make this for you when you were sick as kids.” he said as convincingly as he could.

Rarity frowned. “I remember no such thing. She probably did that just for Sweetie Belle. I more preferred tomato soup with a grilled sandwich.”

“Nice.” He said while silently cursing. Raj had never talked to Sweetie about any such thing, but he was hoping a Changeling might take the bait and go along with it. The fact that she hadn't didn't mean she was actually Rarity, but it was frustrating.

She finished her soup and managed to sweet-talk Raj into carrying her upstairs. She shivered in his arms and complained about his chilly skin all the way to the steaming bathroom. Spike stood on a small stool, breathing tongues of green fire into the misty tub. He spun around and cheerfully cried “I got it just the way you like Rarity. Sea salt, lavender, and just a hint of jasmine.”

“Thank you Spikey-Wikey.” She patted him on the crest and the little dragon sighed. Raj chose not to comment on how he knew her favorite bath mix by heart.

He set Rarity down and she crawled into the bath, letting out a long sigh at the luxuriant heat. She rested with her eyes closed for a few second before cracking them a bit and looking at the two of them. “Thank you both for this. I feel better than I have in days.”

Spike blushed hard enough Raj felt a wave of heat waft off of him. “Y-you're welcome Rarity.”

“You need anything else Rares?” Raj asked, still eyeing her.

She shook her head. “No, this has been lovely, but I don't want to keep you from your first Winter-Wrap Up. Run along, and tell me all about it tomorrow.”

Raj stared at her a second, unsure. He was still on the fence with this one. He hadn't gotten her to demonstrate anything definitive, but she hadn't fallen into any logic traps either. From what he read however, no changeling would put itself into such a helpless position as this, lying in a tub next to a dangerous enemy.

The two of them said their goodbyes and headed out, Raj lowering the flames in the fireplace and oven to keep the house from burning down and put Spike's share of the soup back in a jar for her later.

They left out the door and started trudging off, back into the whirlwind of activity that was Winter-Wrap Up. Spike looked up at him “Remind me to come back and check on her again at the end of the day.”

“Sure thing little guy. I think she'll be fine though. Seems like just a cold really.”

“Has to be worse than that if she hasn't even taken a bath in a day.”

“Eh, you're probably right.” Raj took a few more steps and then stopped, brow furrowed. “Right, she said she hadn't taken a bath yet today.” He stayed where he was, thinking.

“What's up?” Spike asked.

“Spike, what does Rarity smell like?” he asked bluntly.

“Well, um, for winter she usually wears something with some cedar. But no matter the season she has something with lavender in it. She loves lavender.” He said back curiously.

He nodded, he had noticed that about her every time he and Rarity hung out. “And did she smell like lavender today?”

“Not really, but you said she hasn't taken a bath at all.” Spike said.

Raj knew that, but also knew that it didn't matter. His own wife, Mari, always smelled like vanilla. Always... It didn't matter if they had been camping for two days or if she's just come back from the gym, she always at least smelled a little bit like her favorite scent. No matter what.

And when Raj was carrying her, he picked up no lavender on Rarity.

“Spike wait here. I forgot something at Rarity's.” He turned on a heel and headed back towards the boutique.

Spike shouted after him. “What's going on Raj?”

“Don't worry Spike. Just stay there.”

Raj came back up the steps just as she was stepping out of the bathroom. She looked at him with a gasp and said “Rajrishi! You startled me. Did, did you forget something? Why are you-”

“Where is she?” He said levelly.

She paused for a second and asked back. “Where is who dear?”

“You know damn well who. Where is she?” He said again, anger edging into his voice.

She took a step back. “I'm afraid I have no idea what you're talking-”

Raj rushed, moving faster than she could react. He wrapped a hand around her neck and lifted her easily. She struggled in his grip, hooves clutching at him. He smashed her back into a wall hard enough to hurt, not to harm. He roared “Where is she!”

She started crying, tears streaming down her white face. “I don't know what you're talking ab-ou-ou-out!”

“Rarity always smells like lavender!” He shouted. “You hear me, lavender! It's her favorite smell, she always wears it. And there is none of it on you. So for the last time, where is she?”

She bit him, hard. Pain flared up and his grip weakened. She pushed a hoof against his chest and dropped, coughing like mad. Raj clutched his wrist and inspected the bite, expecting to find a ridge of blunt indentations.

What he found instead was a pair of narrow holes, long feelers of glowing green stemming from the wounds under his skin.

A flare of green filled the hall and a shiny, black monster lie crouched before him. It was still roughly pony shaped, with huge eyes and four hooves, but that was about where the similarities ended. Instead of bright, expressive orbs, its eyes were one solid color, a burning red. Instead of the elegant legs of a pony, this thing had hard hinges on its limbs like a grasshopper, cracked holes bored in its lower legs for some inscrutable purpose. Instead of a coat it had shining, black carapace in segmented layers. Instead of a mane, it had ridges of chitin that shined sharp and menacing. It was like someone had crudely combined the basic forms of a pony with some of the more menacing and frightening parts of a dozen insects.

He took all that in in about a second before the thing hissed at him, showing a tongue and a mouthful of wet fangs. Then it’s back opened up and a pair of diaphanous wings unfolded. It beat the air and started towards the stairs.

Raj snapped out of his stupor and lunged, wrapping the fingers of his good hand around its tail, faintly repulsed by the wet rubber texture of it. An inch of tail escaped his grip and he drew back, the changeling flapping and pulling at his hold. He yanked it back, grabbing the thing by a chitinous plate. It struggled, trying the slice at him with the barbed edges of its holed hooves and bite with its long fangs. He got it into a hold and dragged it into the bathroom.

Facing away from him, he held it out at arms length and pushed it down, dunking its head into the tub. It flailed, splashing perfumed water all over. He lifted it up and let it draw in a breath for a moment before putting it under again. He drew it out once more and shouted “Where!?”

“Raj!” came a voice from somewhere else in the house. “What's going on?”

The changeling opened its mouth and screamed in a perfect replica of Rarity's voice “Spike!”

Raj scowled and dunked it again, hoping to shut it up. It went quiet, but the water didn't stop it from shifting again. It was a curious feeling, the sensation of hard carapace morphing to soft flesh in a flicker of energy, but all of a sudden he was holding Rarity in his hands.

Spike chose that moment to come around the corner into the bathroom. Raj heard a gasp and he turned to see a look of absolute terror on his friend's face. He shook his head and cried “Spike-”

That's all he got out before he was hit by a wall of fire. Somehow, Spike managed to put force behind it rather than heat. So instead of being burned to a blackened skeleton, he was instead hurled against the far wall hard enough to leave a man-shaped dent in the plaster.

Raj slumped to the ground groaning, stunned from the hit. When next he came back to reality he saw Spike standing next to a sputtering Rarity, water coughing up from her lungs. Raj staggered up to his feet and rasped “Spike, get away from her.”

Spike gave him the ugliest look he had ever seen the little dragon give anyone. It surprised him enough he leaned back against the wall. He hissed “Don't take another step Raj, or I swear I will melt you into the tile.”

Not-Rarity rose to her hooves and purred. “Thank you Spikey. I don't know what came over him, he just tried to drown me in my own bath!”

“It's fine, go get help. I'll keep an eye on him.” Raj said back, never taking his eyes off of the mad human in front of him.

Raj staggered and held up a mollifying hand. “No, Spike, you can't let her leave. That's not Rarity.”

“Raj, shutup.”

“No, Spike, listen. That isn't Rarity. It's a changeling in disguise. You have to believe me.”

“I have no idea what you're talking about, you brute!” Not-Rarity huffed, still playing the part.

Raj ignored her. “Spike, look. She bit me okay, look.” Raj held up his hand, showing the holes in his hand and the green lines radiating from them.

Spike saw them and Raj saw doubt enter his eyes. Apparently that was enough for the changeling and she curled up her back legs, pivoted, and bucked the little dragon squarely in the back of the head, sending him flying into Raj's chest.

Raj caught the dragon and set him down as gingerly as possible. The thing was already gone, trying to flee the building. If the thing got outside, he'd have a repeat of Spike in the bathroom, except with a whole lot of ponies, most of whom didn't particularly care for him. There was no way he'd be able to convince anyone out there.

He launched himself after the fleeing changeling, bursting around corners and all but hurling himself down the stairs. He saw it at the open door, an instant from escape. Running on instinct, he pulled his knife and hurled it. The throw was clumsy but accurate, the flat of the blade striking her in the back of the head. Despite the bad throw, almost a full pound of metal hurled with his incredible strength had enough force to put the thing on the ground.

The Rarity disguise flickered off as he approached, the bump on the back of her head turning into an green-oozing crack in the chitin. He dragged the thing back inside, grumbling sourly to himself.

Spike came down a few minutes later to see an unconscious changeling with a decorative chain fed through the holes in its legs. He rubbed his sore head and muttered “Raj? What the Tartatus is going on?”

“Take a letter Spike, we got work to do.”

Rage

Raj took a draw from his cup with shaky hands. A brief surge of pain shot up his limb and he winced, almost dropping the cup. He glanced around, checking to see if anyone else saw the moment, and set it down on the step.

Another quartet of patrolling guards moved past the library in lockstep, lantern-hooked poles illuminating their path, each one looking resplendent and perfect in their gleaming plate and fanned helms. The one in the lead gave him a nod and Raj didn't return it.

Spike came out of the door behind him and sat on the step at his side. “Hey.” he said.

“Hey.” Raj said back.

They sat in companionable silence, watching the streetlights come on across the night-blanket town as it came to grips with what had happened.

* * *

It's been a while.

It's been a long while.

* * *

A plated guard stepped out of a house, a limp form draped along his back. He crouched low and slid the victim onto a blanket, her coat still slick with changeling ichor. She stirred weakly, one eye sliding open and swirling around drunkenly.

Squealing and crying, a unicorn foal broke from the pony holding her and sprinted forward, tears streaming from her eyes. Ignoring the slick ooze she hugged her mother, screaming and crying in fear and relief. The mare seemed to come back to life somewhat and wrapped a wing around her foal, starting to cry as well.

The guard nodded and trotted back in as another victim was hauled into the noon sun.

* * *

It was twelve, a total of twelve were taken by ten changelings, alternating disguises and harvesting love to resist the cold. As far as could be told, they'd been hiding in town for more than two weeks. Each of the other victims was cocooned in the basement of the house Twilight found Sweetie Drops in.

They're getting better, but it's rough. Long term exposure to changeling venom has nasty side effects. It will likely be years before the victims are fully recovered.

They got lucky.

* * *

“... and it was then that I was attacked by three changeling infiltrators. Both ponies I was speaking with struck and distracted me from the table I was near which revealed itself to be a changeling very gifted in shapechanging. I was bitten and subsequently defeated in the ensuing fight.” Bon-Bon/Sweetie Drops said with an exhausted sigh. Raj finished penning the report and flipped it around to show her. She nodded her assent and looked out the window at the setting sun, “Send it off.”

Raj folded it and tucked it away for the next time he saw Spike. “So what now?”

The earth pony adjusted herself on the bed, “Now, well, I think I'm done. Twilight knows my cover and there's no way the Princess will erase her memory of me, not her favored pupil. So, I'm scrubbed.

“So you'll retire?” Raj asked.

She laughed, “S.M.I.L.E is incredibly discretionary, retired agents don't retain any potentially harmful information. My memories of my service will be removed and I'll be placed somewhere far off with an implanted identity.” She looked down at her hooves. “I hope it's not the mountains, I hate the mountains.”

“That seems excessive.”

“That's the job. I knew it was going to happen someday when I signed up. You should be fine, you're in a different chain of command and I don't see Luna giving the okay to having her captain wiped.”

Raj paused, “Well, you could be part of that too Bon-Bon.”

“Sweetie Drops.”

“Whatever. I'm the Captain of the Lunar Guard, I have the right to conscript anyone I want. If I bring you in, you get to keep your memories and your place in town. You'll be the head of intelligence for the Lunar Guard, and we need some intelligence.”

She smirked, “Obvious joke.”

“Yeah.” They were quiet for a beat. “Sweetie Drops, I'm gonna need someone like you. Someone with your skills, if I'm going to do what I need to.”

She looked at him squarely, “What are you going to do?”

“You know.” He said flatly.

She nodded at him. She knew full well. “I'm in.”

* * *

Winter-Wrap Up is screwed to the nines. Half the town is still covered in snow, animals are waking up in flooded burrows, and farmers are struggling to pick seeds from ground that is freezing back over. It will be months before the consequences of the delay can even be fully assessed.

Applejack spent hours trying to wrangle work crews that were terrified their own shadows might be changelings, Fluttershy filling her entire house with displaced wildlife, Rarity writing to every contact and acquaintance she had trying to get weather workers to come to town, and Rainbow Dash wasn't properly visible the whole afternoon and evening she had been moving so fast. Even Pinkie Pie was pushing a plow, albeit one festooned in glitter and bouquets of candy canes.

I get it. They need to keep moving, stay on task. Because the moment they take a seat and pause to think, it'll destroy them.

Just like it did to me.

* * *

Raj slammed the door on the adhoc jail, early afternoon light spilling through the thin window illuminating a mob of writhing, spitting bug-monsters. One of them pressed itself to the viewport of the door and lolled its tongue obscenely. Raj grimaced and stepped back, another flare of venom-induced pain hitting him like a hurled brick. He turned back to Twilight, “Anything from that one?”

“No, nothing new.” She said back as she applied a pack of ice to her horn. “We still don't know what their overall goal was.”

It's been the exercise of many hours, scanning the minds of captured changelings to glean whatever they could. However, whatever hive mind the creatures possessed had gotten them to go on complete lockdown, shutting out all of Twilight's attempts to pry open their minds.

Raj was about to try and grab the first one again when Spike said it.

“Hey guys, there's smoke coming from the Everfree.”

* * *

It's obvious in retrospect. It was obvious at the time.

We should have known.

* * *

Raj followed the line of smoke, the straight line leading him on a path that was horribly familiar. Dread sunk into his gut, feeling cold and flinty. He threw a glance at Rainbow Dash and was able to read the same feeling there. Her wings twitched as she flew next to him, eager to range ahead but the training they'd shared held her in check.

They were able to see the glow from a distance, turning the dread into outright panic. Raj broke into a loping run, slipping on the wet snow and mud as Rainbow zipped ahead in a streak of color. When Raj caught up, she was on the ground, staring in horrified shock.

Zecora's hut was ablaze.

* * *

She lived alone.

Far from the town.

Why didn't we think to check?

* * *

Raj took a second to look at it in horror before he tore his gaze away and pushed Rainbow and shouted, “Dash!”

Rainbow shook herself back to the moment and flapped into the air, zipping away in a streak. He wanted to ask what she was doing but there wasn't time.

Raj stalked closer to the tree, squinting from the heat and smoke. He shouted Zecora's name and lifted a boot. He struck the door hard enough to shatter the fire-weakened wood and rush of fire burst out at him, the powerful blaze eager for even more air. Raj stepped back, hissing in pain. He tried to see the inside, but everything inside was invisible behind a screen of smoke and fire.

He drew his axes and started pulling pieces out, heat blistering his skin. A shout came from above and he looked up to see Rainbow pushing a cloud as dark as pitch. She hovered it over the burning hut and gave it a solid kick, drawing a gush of water from it.

The downpour chilled Raj to the bone in an instant, but he didn't retreat. He grabbed the sputtering and steaming timbers and hauled them back, clearing a path as Rainbow beat a hole in the roof to the let the flow in.

Raj stepped in grabbed a fallen beam and tossed it. He looked down into the flooded trinkets and reagents, and there she was.

* * *

It was for the Alicorn Amulet. An artifact some magician used to take over the town that Zecora had been holding onto for safe keeping. That's what the whole infiltration was about.

They were gathering information, trying to find out where the thing was. The changelings probably assumed one of the elements still had it, probably Twilight, so they were probing very carefully. They were likely hoping to steal it without anyone noticing.

But then their cover was blown, and they were forced to do this.

To kill Zecora to get it.

* * *

Raj stumbled from the burned and steaming hut, holding her tight. He screamed for help, his numb and burned hands useless to do anything.

There was a flash of light and they were there, all five ponies and Spike. They saw him kneeling in the snow and their faces went horrified. Fluttershy was the first to move, pulling her body to the floor and checking her over. Raj let her, falling back and kicking away.

A second later, her hooves went limp and she started to cry.

* * *

As far as I can tell, they ambushed her.

We found two dead changelings nearby, one covered in acid burns and the other partially eaten by hundreds of tiny creatures. Zecora had bites on her, seemingly from the same changeling. My guess is that the three we missed approached in disguise, got her outside. Either she twigged to the lie or they weren't able to get a direct bite on the first try. Either way, she fought like a demon and put two of them down before the poison got to her. From there the last one dragged her inside and dosed her until it could tease out where the amulet was. It took it and burned the hut down to try and cover its tracks.

I pray that the thing finished her off before running, but there were no cuts, no mortal wounds on her besides the burns. She was alive when the fire started, and it killed her.

Zecora burned to death because I was too fucking stupid.

* * *

“Put her here.” Twilight said, her tone grey.

Raj stepped past and down into the basement of the library. The space was chilly, hopefully enough to preserve her until they could figure out what to do next.

He went back to the main floor where the others waited. Applejack looked at him and nodded. He gave it back and she slumped. “... Got dang it. Dang it all.” She slid her hat off and pressed it to her chest. “I just remembered, I gotta tell Applebloom. This's gonna destroy that poor little filly, she loved Zecora.”

“We all did.” Rarity sniffled. “We weren't close, but somehow she was always so... confident. I always wanted to try and use some of that for a show.” Rarity smiled slightly and then it fell. “I suppose it's too late for that now.”

“She was always willing to help me with critters from the Everfree. She never asked for anything in return.” Fluttershy whispered.

“She took me in when Trixie took over the town and helped me get her out. I never had any idea she knew so much about magic.” Twilight said.

“She always shared what she had. I never met anypony who worked so hard to make Nightmare Night fun for everypony.” Pinkie said as she brushed her straightened locks out of her face.

“She saved my life.” Raj said flatly.

“She was awesome.” Rainbow rasped.

Raj nodded and looked down at the stippled bite on his hand. “Yeah, yeah she was.”

* * *

Zecora was my friend.

She was the first one I met in this insane world and she saved my life. She gave me help when there was not reason to, when I was nothing more to her than another mangy thing in a hellish forest. She gave me my first faltering steps in this world, took care of me when there was nobody else who could.

One hour. Sixty minutes. That's how long she'd been dead when we got to her. That was after we caught the others, after I'd been back on my feet. I knew she was alone, I knew she was vulnerable. I didn't even go to tell her about the things in town. Everyone else was working while I sat on my ass doing nothing.

Her death is on me.

* * *

Raj and Spike sat there a long time, well until the stars came out and the town had laid down to sleep.

Rajrishi stared at the flickering street light across the way, the magic inside pulsing in a dull rhythm, a few of the newly hatched spring insects circling the warm orb.

After a long, long while, Spike asked him, “This is going to be bad, isn't it?”

Raj waited a second and stared at the fitfully cold insects. “Yeah.”

* * *

I'm gonna kill them. I'm gonna kill all of them.

Every. Last. One.

Author's Note

This was a hard one folks. I had it done and ready, went through it, hated it and scrapped it. I rewrote it, lost it to a crash, and had to re-write it a third time. Good news is, I have the next chapter outlined already, so I hope it won't be as long this time.

Hey, it's been a while.

Raj looked out beyond the rail. Down past the retreating arch of the castle's platform, and onto Canterlot itself. Each street shimmered with light, outlining the sweeping circular thoroughfares in expanding rings of luminescence. A long and dark line marked the alpine river, snaking along the edge of the central city and marking the barrier to the outer quarter. Out there, only the occasional lamp marked the streets. Much of the city was gloomed in darkness, the ponies within either sleeping or preparing to. Faint tunes from the band in the courtyard wafted up to him along with the low din of the crowd filtering into the castle.

His gaze shifted up to the clear sky as he pulled in a deep breath, the air crisp from the elevation. Wisps of purple lit the horizon to the west, the last fading bits of day. It was pretty, the whole day leading up to the party had been beautiful, a testament to the weatherpony craft. It made it a bit less special knowing that money had changed between hooves to make such a nice day happen. A bit less fair it seemed.

“Captain?” Raj turned to see Sweetie Drops in her fine gown standing in the doorway. “The Princess has somepony she wants to introduce you to.”

“Which Princess?”

“Does that really matter?”

It did, but it wasn't worth the trouble saying so. Instead he just started following the former spy back down to the party.

As they stepped down the immaculate staircase he asked, “When was the last security check-in?”

“Ten minutes. No problems. Every team is fully accounted for and following security protocols,” she answered back crisply.

“And we're following the checks on the guests?”

“We are, for what that's worth. Speaking of which.” She reached up and pulled a brooch from her dress. She tossed it to the side and looked at Raj as he slid off a bracelet and slid it along the floor. They nodded to each other and moved to retrieve their cast off clothing.

It was still early enough the evening that ponies were filtering their way up the main entrance. Celestia herself was quite obvious from a distance, being the largest creature in the room by half of a pony. He drew close and gave an obedient bow. “Princess.”

“Captain,” she said back curtly and looked after the ponies that had just passed. “Any problems?”

“No, and you can stop asking. You'll know when they show up.”

“When? That's rather pessimistic Captain.”

“Realistic. I was against this from the start.” He folded his arms. “There's a war on. Yet you and everyone important decide to play dress-up. It's ridiculous, we should have canceled this party.”

The Princess gave him a sideways look. “The Grand Galloping Gala has happened every year for the last eleven-hundred and twenty-eight years. It went on during the Rakshasa war, the Unicornian Invasion, and countless other conflicts. Canceling it now would terrify ponies and cause a panic. It is important to project confidence in a time of unrest such as this.”

“More important than not giving the enemy a big juicy target like this?” Raj gestured to the tide of rich nobles trickling into the castle. “Every single important pony in the whole country is under one roof when we're in conflict with a shapeshifting enemy that is highly specialized in disguise and infiltration. It's a great idea, the best.”

“You're caution is admirable Captain, but do not fear. We have driven out no less than ten changeling cells in the last few weeks. The determination protocol you have put in place has all but eliminated their capacity to infiltrate positions of power.”

“As far as we can tell.” Raj muttered.

She smiled faintly, projecting the air of a woman completely in control of her surroundings. “We are in talks with the southern and eastern hives. Their queens despise Chrysalis as much as anyone, and with their aid rooting out all infiltration will be a simple matter. All we must do is remain vigilant in the face of this aggression and wait for a compromise. Diplomacy will halt this conflict before it starts.”

Raj got a flash of a limp form, black and white and covered in ash. He shook it away and said, “Anyway, I'm told there's someone you want me to meet?”

“Prince Shining Armor and his wife, Princess Cadance.” She said it in a tone that suggested he should recognize the names. “I believe they went to find Twilight. Now, if you'll excuse me.” She tilted her head at a pair of approaching ponies.

Raj walked off, leaving the Princess to her socializing. He cast a brief glare at her back as he went, noting the sweet smile on her face and bowed head. Supplicative, diplomatic, it was almost hard to remember such a kind face turning so stony when she was crushing him beneath her expressed power. Like an ocean, crushing him down. His very blood pooling low in his body, like he was in a rocket breaking atmosphere. If she could somehow be both, he wondered what else she could be.

He shook that thought his head. One enemy at a time, changelings now, then alicorns later.

“You should trust the Princess Raj. She knows what she's doing,” Sweetie Drops said from his side. “This isn't the first time she's had to deal with something like this.”

“Go do a random check of the perimeter guards. Double verification, your choice of what they toss.” the mare hesitated, nodded, and then trotted off.

He looked at the expanding crowd and let out a sigh. Hundreds of ponies here, from all over the country in one place.

Absolutely brilliant.

“Raj!” He heard his name and turned to see a squat figure waddling his way. Spike was dressed to the nines, complete with a tailed tuxedo and an over-sized top-hat. He looked at Raj and dug his thumb-claws into his cummerbund. “What do you think? Stylish?”

He mustered a smile. “You look ridiculous. Like the unholy spawn of a penguin and an asphyxiating lizard.”

Spike blew him off. “Eh, you wouldn't know style if it bit you on the butt.”

Raj looked down at his uniform. “You know Rarity designed this for me, right? What do you think she'd have to say if she heard you saying that?”

Spike somehow went pale, “I, um, uh, I was just joking y'know? Palling around, having fun? Please don't tell her I said that.” he rambled off quickly.

Raj laughed, “It's cool, I'm just being a jerk. You still have my thing?”

Spike looked at him blandly. “Raj, of course I do. I can't even carry that thing normally, where would I have even put it?”

“Fair point.” He paused. “Wait, where's Twilight? She's with someone I'm supposed to meet.”

“Shining Armor? Yeah, they're over by the uh... statue.” He pointed at what appeared to be an ice sculpture of the Elements of Harmony, complete with their regalia necklaces. A cornucopia of chilled fruits and vegetable lay at their sculpted hooves.

Raj stared at the thing with a bemused look on his face. He said to the little dragon, “Thanks, try the guacamole.” and went on over.

Twilight Sparkle was wearing a glittery gown, straight from carousel boutique and chatting animatedly with a pair of ponies. Raj waited politely before she noticed him and turned. “Raj! I'm so glad you're here, I have somepony I'd love you to meet.” She gestured a leg at the pair.

A brawny stallion stood in front of him, coat as white as snow with an elegantly messy blue mane. He was wearing a military outfit, a Royal Guard officer, high rank and with a lot of honor bars. He looked up at him with bright eyes and bowed. “Captain Rajrishi, Captain Shining Armor, of the Celestial Royal Guard.” the stallion extended a hoof. Raj shook it. “And this is my wife, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza.”

“Please Shiny, just Cadance to any friend of Twilight's.” a thin, pink Alicorn in an long, pink and periwinkle gown chimed from his side. “Princess Cadance. A pleasure Captain.” She extended a polished hoof.

Remembering the primer on manners he'd been given, he bowed and planted a chaste kiss on it. He looked up at her and was a little surprised to see a sad look on her face. It was only there an instant, but he was sure he saw it. Regardless, he stood up and said “Charmed, both of you.”

The royal couple smiled. “Twilight told me all about you. You've had quite the adventures since coming to Equestria.”

“Adventures are a word, yes.” He replied, injecting a little joviality into his tone.

“I'd love to hear about them, if you have the time.” Cadance asked.

“Not tonight. I'm working.” Raj responded, looking up at the patrolling squad on the balcony overhead.

“Oh yes, Shining told me that you were security chief for the Gala.

“Actually, I was hoping to have a conversation with you two. In private, if possible.” Raj said, keeping himself level.

Shining Armor blinked. “Certainly Captain.” He looked around for a second and gestured to a door leading to the outside. Raj went forward and opened the door for them both. They stepped out onto the square patch of covered garden, lit with shimmering lanterns. Shining Armor turned and looked at the tall human, “Well Captain Rajrishi?”

“First off, I need you two to do something for me. You, take off your jacket and toss it,” He said pointed at Shining Armor, “you peel off a sock and do the same.”

The royal couple looked at him in confusion for a second, but complied. Once they were partially disrobed, he said “Alright, now we can talk.”

“What was that about?” Cadance asked. “We had to do the same thing when we arrived.”

“It's the best way we have to do a spot check on whether someone is a changeling or not. While changelings can assume any form, clothing included, their disguises are limited to just their bodies, they can't make material and then cast it off.” Raj explained. “Whenever our security teams meet each other, we throw a bit of clothing off, even if we were only apart a few minutes.”

Shining Armor nodded. “Smart system. But couldn't a changeling just put on a piece of clothing after transforming and then throw it?”

Raj shrugged. “It's a far from perfect system, but it's the best thing we've been able to work out for dealing with the doppelganger issue. We're testing every guest on their way into the Gala, and very few have been cooperative.” He rolled his eyes. “It seems most of these folks are more concerned about their carefully cultivated outfits than threats to national security.”

“Hmm,” Shining Armor grumbled. “that's not good.”

“Seems to be a theme for this whole ordeal. It's been four weeks since... Ponyville was attacked and we've done nothing but increase patrols. Nobody is taking this seriously enough.”

“I heard that we caught quite a few cells.” Shining asked.

“Not enough. The team that was in Ponyville had been there for weeks, who knows how many there are in deep cover spread across the country.”

Shining cocked his head. “You think it's that bad?”

Raj looked back through the glass of the door, back into the party. “We're up against an army of shapeshifting monsters with unknown numbers, unknown intelligence, and unknown goals. The only thing we do know about them is where their Hive is, and we're not even putting together a plan to attack it. Hell, we're not even really keeping an eye on it, just a single airship doing a flyby every day or so.” Raj shook his head.

“A flyby?” Cadance questioned. “Would that just tell whether the Hive is still there?”

Raj looked surprised. “That is literally exactly what I said.”

Shining Armor shook his head. “The Princess is probably wary of the Queen's throne. That thing's properties have kept anypony from attacking the western hive for decades. With that active, any attack is doomed to failure.”

“That artifact has exactly a two mile radius. A properly arced blast from the Break of Day's cannons at good elevation can clear that easy. We should have been shelling that disgusting hole for weeks now.” Raj felt his anger start to rise and tamped it down. Getting mad wouldn't help anything. “Anyway, that's not what I'm here to talk to you about. You two are the only ones that know Chrysalis even a little bit. I've read the reports from the wedding incident, all of them, but I wanted to talk to you two personally. Is there anything you can tell me about Queen Chrysalis, anything at all?”

The couple looked at each other for a moment before Cadance spoke up. “There isn't much to tell. She ambushed me a few weeks before the wedding and stuffed me in the caverns under Canterlot. Then she went to work on Shiny.”

“It only took her a day or two to put me under her thrall.” Shining Armor said, a slight edge in his tone. “I remember thinking something was off about Cadance, but then the Queen's venom and mind-control took hold and I was... not myself.” He looked down. “Honestly, the time leading up to the wedding is a bit of a blur. Even with magic therapy, I've only been able to recover bits and pieces.”

“And what are those bits and pieces?” Raj asked. “Please, anything you can tell me.”

Shining Armor furrowed his brow for a moment and winced. He lifted a hoof and rubbed his head. “I'm sorry, I can't do it, not right now. Her magic is too strong, even after all this time.”

Cadance wrapped a wing around her husband, “It's okay Shiny, you'll get there.” She looked back to Raj. “I spent some time with her. She would come down into the caverns and taunt me on occasion, as well as leave me food.”

“I was wondering about that. Is there a reason she didn't just put you in a cocoon? Seems a lot easier than locking you up under the city.” Raj asked.

“You know, I was never able to figure that out.”

“So she's an idiot then?” Raj asked.

“Oh, no no no, very much not.” Cadance shook her head. “Chrysalis is a planner, a genius when it comes to strategy. If she didn't put me in a cocoon, I assume it was for a good reason. That's one thing I was able to figure out. Chrysalis will take all the time in the world planning, scheming, and scouting until she has all the information she needs before she acts.”

Shining Armor nodded. “After the battle, we did some digging and found out that she had plants in the city months in advance, some had been there for years. The sheer amount of logistical planning and execution that went into it is insane, almost admirable, in a way.”

Raj nodded, “So, figure out her plan and don't play to it. Easy.” He sighed. “Now if only we knew the first thing about her plan, we could get started.”

Cadance smiled. “If half of what Twilight has told me about you is true Captain Rajrishi, I'm sure you'll have this licked in no time. After all, you've barely been here a year, there's no way her plan takes you into account.”

“One can hope.” Raj said back morosely. The royal couple laughed and stepped back into the hall. Raj didn't, he stayed on the balcony and looked out on the city for a while yet.

* * *

Hours later, the party was in full swing. All the guest's were having a grand time, befitting the event's name.

All except one.

“How long?” Raj asked, hiding his irritation.

The guard stallion said, “Fifteen minutes sir. Normally we wouldn't have worried about such a small gap of time, but you left instructions to-”

Prince Blueblood cut him off. “You should have told us ten minutes ago.” He gave the pony a withering glare before turning back to his captain, “What do you want to do?”

“Pull a squad together to find them. Once they're found, full check and dress down. No chances.” He jerked his head at the stallion in front of him. “Take this one with you.”

“Sir.” his lieutenant nodded and trotted off, the tardy soldier in tow.

Raj looked at his intelligence officer, “Go do a spot check of the patrolling squads.”

Sweetie Drops said, “I just did one a few minutes ago. No problems.”

“Do it again.” Raj ordered.

She raised her eyebrow, “Captain, you're being unreasonable. Not to smoke out my colleagues, but I count at least six S.M.I.L.E agents in the crowd tonight, they have this handled. We can stick to the scheduled checks.”

“This is the first snag of the night Sweetie Drops. Now isn't the time to be cavalier. So go do it.” He said firmly.

Sweetie drops shrugged and let out a sigh, “Understood Captain. What are you going to do?”

“I'm gonna go update our big guns.”

The main hall was even more resplendent than it was before. The bunting lining the walls was now chased with subtle lights serving as an accent to the thousand or so candles that illuminated the central chandelier, a huge ringed construction that consisted of hundreds of faceted glass teardrops, each one scintillating with the flickering fire light.

That soft light shined down on hundreds of fancily dressed ponies, reclining at tables or dancing on a wide floor to lively music. Clusters of them gathered at the long tables of food or around the doors to the gardens and balconies.

Raj recognized a few of them. A clique of laughing aristocrats clustered around Sir Fancy Pants, the pony in question living up to his name in his exquisite velvet trousers. Marshall Coltumbus sat against a wall, whinging away to a circle of uniformed ponies about how wasteful it was that the Break of Day had been deployed to fly the diplomats to the eastern hives. Dwarfing both their crowds however were the hordes of fans that were hounding the Wonderbolts every movement. They were even excited to see Silver Lining, though she wasn't quite up to walking yet.

Beyond all of them were the six Elements themselves, each one dressed in a Carousel Boutique exclusive. They saw him approach and Applejack threw him a wave, “Howdy Raj. Yer looking snazzy.”

“New uniform, kinda digging it.” He looked down at the gleaming silver buttons on his cuffs. “How're you all taking the party?”

Pinkie popped up, her cheeks distended with something sweet and delicious. She tried to say something, failed, and then swallowed down the mouthful of treat, a visible lump the size of a cantaloupe retreating down her throat. “The cherry cordials are super tasty!”

“I'll have to give them a check.” Raj said back. “How's everyone doing? Having a good time?”

“A wonderful evening darling!” Rarity said, a faint blush to her cheeks. She spoke with a slight slur, a subtle lengthening of her syllables that was only noticeable because of how much he'd heard her talk. “This décor is simply marvelous, I could stare at it for hours.” She looked up at the lit bunting, her eyes going somewhat glassy. Raj saw a few empty glasses on the table near her and a half-full one in her hoof.

A few drinks were nothing to be concerned over, especially after what had happened to her. Rarity had been something of a recluse since the infiltration a few weeks ago, either out of fear of being attacked again or sadness over the fact that her cat had never turned up. Regardless, seeing her out of the house gladdened him quite a bit.

“I'm having a mighty fine time, thought AB is gonna be sore at me for a while since I couldn't bring her.” Applejack drawled.

“Yeah, Scoots was pretty hurt when I told her she couldn't come. She only stuck around for twenty minutes after I was done practicing.” Rainbow said, somehow managing to make that sound like something of a brag.

“Better than the alternative.” As frustrated as he was with the fact that the gala was happening at all, at least the Princesses had listened to his suggestions for security, the foremost one being banning all children from the event. Putting the cream of Equestria's aristocracy in danger was one thing, but endangering kids was a no sell.

“Feels like a bit of a waste though. Each of us had a plus one, but Fluttershy's the only one that used it.” Twilight said with a bit of a grimace. “On Discord of all ponies.”

Raj looked at the shy pegasus. “Discord is here? I never would have guessed, nothing is ridiculous or weird.”

“I know!” Fluttershy said, somewhat missing the jab. “He disappeared almost as soon as we got here. I have no idea where he ran off to.”

“Great, so now if something bizarre or horrifying happens, there are two things that could be causing it.”

Fluttershy giggled, “I don't think he'd cause trouble tonight. He promised to be on his best behavior tonight.”

“No offense meant darling, but I'm fairly certain that Discord's best behavior is on par with everypony else's worst.” Rarity slurred before she sipped from another glass she acquired from somewhere.

Raj smiled, enjoying the company of the six mares. “Hey, actually, I didn't just come here for a social call.” He glanced around, checking to see if anyone was in hearing distance. “We had an incident, nothing major yet, but the first of the night. I just need to do a check on you six. You still have your things?”

Twilight nodded and lifted up a fold in her dress, showing the looping crown of the element of magic. The others revealed their own hidden elements, Fluttershy's tucked in her frills and, Pinkie's in her mane, and the rest of them secreted away somewhere in their dresses. As each one came out, he saw them shimmer with their intrinsic magic, verifying that none of them had been replaced. Rainbow tucked hers back and put on a devious grin. “If those shapeshifting freaks show up, we'll be ready.”

Applejack nodded. “Second we get eyes on the queen's mangy hide, we'll beam her into next week.”

“That's what I like to hear. Hopefully we won't need it though.”

“Captain.” Raj turned to see his princess, draped in a pitch black gown filled with twinkling sequins. “We should talk.”

* * *

“All we've had is a missing squad, fifteen minutes late on a patrol. I sent a team to check and give them a dressing down.” Raj reported. “That's the only snag we've had tonight.”

“So far.” Luna said sharply as she looked up at the thrones.

“That's more pessimistic than your sister.” Raj said, sounding surprised.

The princess gave him a pensive look for a second before saying, “Mine sister and I agree on much, but we do not have an accord on some matters. The management of this conflict is one of them.”

“First I'm hearing of it.”

“Do thou publicize every disagreement and quarrel with your family?”

“Point.” Raj looked down into the interior balcony, onto the hundreds of laughing and dancing party guests. “She still thinks this can be won with soft power. That if we form an alliance with the other hives then Chrysalis and her brood will have to back off.”

“I know. It may yet work.” Luna said.

“But it doesn't really deal with the problem. We still have a huge swarm of bug monsters led by an insane queen that has a personal grudge against the country. And then there's whatever concessions or treatments that need to be made with the hives she works with. Odds are we'll just end up in a very similar situation years down the road.”

“Quite true as well.”

“So is Celestia-”

“Princess Celestia.”

“So is Princess Celestia just being short-sighted or does she not realize all that?”

Luna paused, thinking. “Neither Captain. Neither. Likely she thinks that, when a situation like this one rears its head, she will be able to deal with it again in a similar manner. That's what stateship is, dealing with problems or, failing that, delaying them until you are in a better position to.”

“We're in a position now. We could wipe out her and her hive before they become a threat again.” Raj said, clenching a fist.

“You advocate slaughter?”

“I advocate security.”

“Yes, one is generally quite secure when no others are left.” She looked up at the moon and the ghostly lit mountain looming over them.

Raj followed her gaze and shrugged. “Doesn't matter. After tonight, I don't think there will be any choice in what to do.”

“Explain.” Luna ordered.

Raj put his hands in his pockets. “I'm willing to bet that some of the guests down there are changelings. I'd put money on it. I'm going to expose them in front of everyone present.”

“How do you propose to do that?” Luna asked. “Your garment test? Everyone passed that on their way in.”

“We have a better one. The garment test is a red herring. We have to remove something from their physical bodies. A hair, bit of fur, something surface level. Once removed, if it vanishes, it's a changeling.” Raj explained. “We kept it secret so Chrysalis wouldn't come up with a way around it.”

“So a more probing version of the standard examination. Interesting. Does it work?”

“Every test we managed to do worked. Later tonight we'll call for a security check, do the deeper test on every guest and corral them together. When we unmask them, in front of the loved ones they've been fooling for days or even weeks, the opinion of the noble ponies will change. They'll be clamoring for action against the hive.” He said, hiding a smirk.

“So you will use Celestia's social obligations against her to force your desires. Put her in the position whereupon doing what you want is her best and only course of action. A fine plan Captain. You should be proud. It will never work however.” She said simply, as if there were no room to brook argument.

Raj frowned. “It's your turn to explain.”

She obliged. “Quite simply Captain, your plan will not work because it requires outsmarting her, and I have difficulty bringing to mind a creature that can outsmart my sister.”

Rajrishi stared at her a second and chuckled, “I don't... I'm not sure about all that. You make it sound like she's infallible.”

“Thou does not know Captain. The Trueborn children of the Faustmare were born not at the same time. They were willed into being by our mother at times of great need, for creating being such as us is no small feat, even for a Titan. I was the last, created to be a warrior, and to that purpose I am most apt. It is why I was able to match my sister's might despite the fact that she is much older than I.” She paused, looking bashful for a moment before continuing. “Mine sister though, was the first, made to be a scholar and negotiator, built to serve as an intermediary between the Faustmare and ponykind. She is elder to me by millennia, she possesses more intellect and knowledge than most can fathom.” She ruffled her wings. “When I say that I have faith in her instincts and capabilities, I mean it.”

Her speech was meant to reassure him about Celestia's plan, but it almost did the opposite. Raj had never really thought about what he had done since coming to Equestria. Nothing that had happened in the last year or so had weakened Celestia's position or even Equestria in a meaningful way. The Everfree Forest was now better explored, thanks to his shared knowledge. A dangerous clan of marauding Diamond Dogs had been routed from her lands, a cure to a dangerous and foul disease was now well in stock, diplomatic ties to the Dragonlands had opened up, and an old nemesis had been defeated, bringing in a vast fortune in the process. Not even the war had cost her anything yet, and was on track to be concluded with hardly any blood shed on her side.

He realized that the only pony in the whole world that had benefited from his presence, was Princess Celestia.

He would have shared this revelation with the Luna, had some movement not caught his eyes. Rajrishi looked aside, down the exterior balcony. A squad of five guardsponies patrolled along the yard, the one in front wearing a crested helmet. Rajrishi squinted his eyes, scrutinizing. “That's curious.”

“What's wrong?” Luna asked, looking around for the source of his consternation.

“They're not supposed to be there.” He scowled. “Princess, you'll have to excuse me for a moment.”

He vaulted the banister, feeling a brief thrill of fear as he stared down the ten meters of fall ahead of him. He ate the impact solidly and stood up straight, heading for the soldiers. They saw him coming and moved into formation. “Lieutenant Crunch. Identity check.”

“Sir.” The pony gave a salute. He grabbed a badge off the front of his uniform and tossed it to the side. Raj did the same thing along with the four other guards. Now confirmed, the lieutenant asked, “What's the problem Captain? Did we have another incident?”

“Take off your helmet.” Raj ordered.

“Sir?” The lieutenant asked.

Raj lifted his head a bit and said again. “Take off your helmet.”

The guard complied and slid off the crested armor. He looked up at the human in confusion. Raj stepped closer and reached down, running a hand through the stallions brown mane. The soldier looked up at him in surprise at the unwelcome contact and the other four shifted nervously. “Um... sir, what's going on here?”

Raj didn't answer. He ran his hand along the soldier's smooth hair for a second, squeezed his fingers together, and drew them out sharply. The stallion recoiled and looked up in even more confusion. Raj stared at his hands, seeing a few fine, brown hairs woven between his fingers. In a flicker of green they vanished into nothing. Raj nodded, “Yup.” He then clenched his now empty hand and drove his fist into the confused stallion's face.

The pony's jaw collapsed against the force and he was driven to the ground headfirst, thudding into the lawn hard enough to bounce. He lay still for a moment before his form was wrapped in a sheet of burning green light and then there was a changeling there, looking small in the suit of ill-fitting plate, its face chitin cracked open and leaking green.

The other four stared in numb shock for a second. One of them stepped forward and stammered, “S-sir, we had no-”

Raj cut him off. “Your squad is supposed to be on the other side of the castle, not here. Get on the ground, all of you. Now.”

They complied, dropping to their knees. Raj approached and slid out an ax. The instant he got within reach the one closest to the front lunged, mouth wide and form flickering with green. He flashed the blade up and cleaved into the thing's chest. It let out a sputtering gasp and he hurled it over his head, letting it splat onto the yard.

The last two came at the same moment, one high and one low, their forms melting back into slavering, chitinous beasts. Raj backed up, wary of the agony their venom caused. A lance of purple light sailed in and drove through one of them, piercing through its chest. It collapsed onto the other, knocking it to the ground. Up on the balcony, Luna blew smoke off of her horn and charged another spell.

The last changeling struggled to pull itself from the weight on top of it, hissing and sputtering. Raj stepped close and knelt. He put his hands on the sides of the creature's head and forced it to meet his gaze. It paused for a second, blue eyes somehow going wider. Raj stared at it and said, “You never should have come here.”

There was then a squeal of fear and a hollow crack as he brought his hands together.

* * *

Barely a minute later, Captain Rajrishi strode into the central ballroom, hands still covered in green slime and flecked with shards of shattered carapace. He yelled out “Code black! Security breach! I repeat, code black!”

The guests that heard him looked around in confusion at the surprising declaration but the security forces knew exactly what that meant. In a flash they sprang into action, moving to their pre-planned locations and began calmly, but firmly, herding the guests into tight clusters. Princess Celestia caught his gaze and started moving his way, but Luna landed next to her and drew her attention.

While his security forces were distracted Raj went over to the gathered Elements of Harmony and Spike. They had listened to him and stayed together, never letting each other out of their sight. Fluttershy looked up at him and asked, “Rajrishi, what's going on?”

“Schedule moved up, we had a breach. Security team was replaced. Twilight,” the purple unicorn looked up at him, “pluck 'em.”

Twilight nodded and focused her magic, reaching out with her telekinesis into dozens of points of control. Raj tracked them as best he could, hand wrapped tight around one of his hidden axes. Brief shouts of pain and alarm rose up among the security and they looked around in confusion, each one seeing a single hair lift off of their manes or tails, wrapped in a faint glow. Twilight focused, nodded, and said, “None of them burned away, the security team is clear.”

Raj let out a long breath. The infiltration hadn't reached the security team in the palace itself. Small wonder that. He approached the bunched groups of fancily dressed ponies and put his hands on his hips. “Alright everyone, quiet down please. This will all be taken care of shortly.”

“Captain, what is the meaning of this?” Fancy Pants shouted from his position near the front of his cluster. “Have we done something wrong?”

Raj approached, but still spoke loud enough for all the assembled ponies to hear him. “No, no you haven't sir. There has been a security incident and we are taking precautions. I can't be certain of any of your identities.”

“We were checked when we came in!” The well-to-do stallion protested.

“That system is not perfect. As a new countermeasure we'll be removing a single hair from your manes and tails to-”

Fancy Pants was engulfed in a column of green and he lunged, now a shining black monster in nice clothing. Running on instinct, Raj snapped out a hand and hooked the creature squarely in the mouth, shattering its jaw plate and snapping its head to the side. He felt a sear of pain as the creature's fangs tore into the back of his hand, leaving a thin limn of green in the wound.

Before he could even curse at that, flares of light ignited among the attendees. Shouts of pain and alarm rose up among them as the creatures started lashing out at the packed civilians. They, understandably, began to panic and push at the guardsponies keeping them next to the monsters.

“Spike! Hammer!” Raj shouted out as he rushed into the nearest grouping. The little dragon drew in a breath and belched out a column of leaping flame. The fire coalesced into a shape, forming the enormous form of Gate Maker, the hammer Raj had plundered from Jolly Roger's vault. He caught it on the fly and strode forward, lifting it up high and bringing it down on the back of a changeling in a very nice ball-gown that was preoccupied with biting an older pegasus mare's face. Raj pulled the pony up and ushered her towards the center of the ballroom where the guardsponies were gathering everyone who hadn't changed shape.

A pair of the things sprang at him, hissing and spitting. Before he could sweep the hammer into them, a trio of glowing darts flashed in out of nowhere and sank into the joints in their carapace. The things dropped like stones, dead in an instant. The thin, two ended blades slid out of them and flew back to hover over the shoulder of their wield. Lieutenant Blueblood stepped to his side and asked, “Are you alright sir?”

“Fine.” Raj said back sharply, flexing his injured hand. “Go clear out the other groups and get everyone in a central location, they'll still need to be checked.”

Blueblood looked around the bedlam in the ballroom, “You think some of them are still undercover?”

“It's what I would do.” Raj shot back.

The stallion nodded and moved to follow orders, his lift-blades lancing out and killing changelings with exacting precision. The Guard were keeping things contained in their little bubbles of chaos, striking with spells from the edges and stepping aside to let panicked guests reach the relative safety of the ballroom's center. Overhead, pegasi guards were spotting targets and extracting the injured in daring swoops. Somehow, over the bedlam, Shining Armor was bellowing orders and directing the soldiers even as he was fighting himself. As Raj watches, he saw the Captain take a solid belt to the face and not lose a step in his commands.

Further back in the room, Celestia and Luna were facing off against a dozen strong pack of changelings and performing admirably. As he watched one of the charging beasts was annihilated in a solid column of blazing sunlight and another were cast aside by twin arcs of solid nothingness.

Seeing that things were well in hand, Raj made his way over to the circled Elements. They watched warily as he approached until Twilight sent a faint mote of magic floating his way that evaporated as it neared him. “Good, it's you. Raj, what's going on?”

“All the changelings uncloaked at once and started going crazy. If I had to guess, close to a third of them were disguised.”

“That's more than we estimated.”

“A lot more. How are you seven?”

“We're fine.” Rainbow said from her protective posture over Fluttershy. “None of them were near us.”

“Good, keep it that way. Anyone gets within ten meters, clobber them. You're the only option we have that can take down Chrysalis when she shows up.” A sudden glare came from the side of the ballroom and another changeling was eradicated. “Okay, the only option I like.”

“Don't worry darling, we'll use our weird magic jewelry to laser the evil queen into submission... or something like that.” Rarity slurred, the suddenly drastic situation doing nothing to sober her up.

“What she said.” Applejack affirmed.

Raj nodded and turned his attention back to the fight. The crowd in the center of the room was getting larger by the second. And with the crowd pockets shrinking the guards were attacking into the groups of changelings more liberally. The rest of them were trying to keep the guests contained and calm, a task rapidly proving to be impossible, as several of the guests had suffered serious injuries or had the jarring fact that their loved one was a hideous bug monster in disguise thrust upon them. None were taking it very well.

The why of it was escaping him. Why they uncloaked and attacked as they did, right then. Clearly they were all sent a message, likely through the changeling hive mind, to act, but to what end. There was no chance of executing a coup in that situation, there were too many guards and both princesses to worry about. Attacking then wouldn't even buy them time, the examination procedures would have taken longer than this fight.

But it drew all of his attention to right here. To this room and nowhere else.

Raj swore and spun. “Twilight, teleport to the town square and lock it down. Now!”

Twilight sputtered, “What? But-”

“There's no time! Just-” he was interrupted by a force, a faint ripple in the air that he felt all over and left a greasy, uncomfortable feeling in its wake. The rest of the ponies felt it as well and let out sounds of discomfort. Somewhere in the rear of his mind, he realized that the burning pain in his hand had abated into a warm numbness.

Raj shook his head, lucidity coming back quickly. He looked around to see the room darker, the only illumination coming from the hundreds of candles in the chandelier. It was still enough for him to see the glow melt off of Blueblood's lift-blades and clatter to the ground. The pegasi over head grunted in exertion, their armor suddenly too heavy to fly in.

“Oh shit.” Raj muttered as he heft his hammer, the weight of it significantly more than it was a second ago. Hisses and snarls came from the wings as the changelings fell back and consolidated themselves, only their hateful eyes visible in the darkness. Fearful sounds came from the clutch of nobleponies, the terrifyingly stressful situation suddenly made much, much worse.

Twilight strained at her horn, grunting with the exertion. “Raj, I can't teleport! I can't do anything.”

“And I can't... hnng fly so good.” Rainbow said from overhead, fighting for every wingbeat.

“Because both of those use magic, and magic doesn't work in Canterlot anymore. At least anything that isn't changeling magic won't work.” Raj explained.

Twilight gasped, “She moved her throne? Can she even do that?”

“It seems so. Stay behind me, all of you. On three we're going for the door. Applejack, help Rarity.” Raj ordered, his hammer held low.

“What about all the scared rich-ponies?” Pinkie asked as she pointed her hoof at the mob. “We have to help them too.”

“The Guard will take care of them. I'm taking care of you. Now let's go!” Raj hissed.

Right then the window exploded, showering broken glass down on them. Raj shouted, “Oh God damn it!” and shielded himself. When next he looked, a tide of black carapace was flooding through the gap.

The first one landed and immediately had its head smashed into the ground. An instant later three more moved to replace it. Raj cursed as he fell back, his seven charges moving with him as they backed into the crowd of nobles. On the other side of the room Luna and Celestia were crushing carapace with their over-sized hooves, but were similarly being pushed back into the middle of the dimly lit ballroom.

Raj looked around, assessing the situation. Ten minutes ago this place was filled with happily dancing and chatting aristocrats, now it was a dim chamber filled with scared, hurt ponies surrounded by glowing-eyed bug monsters. And magic had taken a holiday, leaving the vast majority of them defenseless.

“This could be going better.” Raj muttered to himself, eyes flicking back and forth at the wall of bug-monsters barely ten feet away.

Pinkie gasped. “Rajy! Don't you know to never say-”

Another window exploded, showering them yet again in broken glass. Raj shielded himself, swearing venomously under his breath, and looked up at what had entered the room.

Queen Chrysalis was tall, at least as tall as Princess Celestia, but possessed of none of the personal gravity. She was spindly, looking almost stretched out and disproportionate, like she was designed poorly. And sitting there at the base of her chitinous neck was the alicorn amulet, standing out against her black carapace. She smiled, showing all of her needle-sharp teeth. “Hello ponies! Sorry to crash, but my invitation was lost in the mail.”

“Chrysalis.” Celestia said, fitting more contempt in those syllables than Raj thought was possible. “How dare you assault us so brazenly. This was a peaceful function!”

“And now it is not.” Chrysalis said simply with a faint chuckle. The changelings flanking her hissed with laughter, somehow finding the joke funny.

Luna stepped forward, glowering. “It was thine throne, was it not? That is what has silenced our magic?”

“It is! Very clever Luna, got it on the first try. I figured since I'll be living here from now on, I should start moving my things in.” She chuckled again, calling up another round of laughs from her minions. “Now then, I believe it's-” the rest of her sentence turned into a pained grunt as she was hit squarely in the amulet by three-hundred pounds of steel hammer hurled at her like a spear.

Chrysalis went flying back, ragdolling across the dance floor and sliding to a halt against a pillar. The reaction among the changelings was mixed. Some immediately rushed to her aid, others started his and spitting at the crowd, and a few others immediately bolted, fleeing with manic desperation out the way they came.

“Come on!” Raj shouted and pulled his axes, rushing for the door. Changelings surged for them, but in much less numbers. Guardsponies kicked and bit, giving as good as they got as the guests shouted in fear. Raj smashed his shoulder against the door and felt it give, but halt against something on the other side. It had been barred.

“Princess Celestia!” Twilight shrieked. Raj cast a look back to see the solar princess vanish under a tide of black chitin. A few of the monsters were flung from the pile as she kept fighting, but she was overrun all the same.

Twilight ran for her mentor, tears streaking from her eyes, out of the safety of the guard's line. Raj moved to grab her but was beat to the punch by Princess Luna, who scooped her up and glided over the melee, still able to fly adeptly despite the loss of her magic somehow. She deposited the bawling pony next to her friends and turned her backside towards the doors and canted a leg up. Raj got the idea and threw his weight against the door as well.

The portal swung open with a terrible clatter, the braked wagon placed as a barricade scattering away. They all rushed out into the courtyard, past the small squad of dead changelings from a few minutes ago. Raj kept his head on a swivel, scanning around for more attackers. Behind him, Blueblood and Sweetie Drops were ushering the guests, moving them along and away from the danger as the remaining Guardponies took up vanguard positions at the rear.

He did a headcount, making sure all seven were accounted for. “Alright, good, you all stay here. I have to go.”

“Where're you goin' sugarcube?” Applejack asked as she tore her dress off, the bulky clothing only getting in the way of anything she'd have to do. Rarity was still so drunk she didn't even chastise her for it.

“The city square, that's where the throne is, I'd be money on it. We need to destroy it. Without magic, we don't stand a chance.”

“I'm coming too!” Rainbow rasped. “The Wonderbolts were in there and they got hurt too, I can't let that go.”

“You can barely fly Rainbow. No this is just going to be me and Luna. The rest of you stay here and hunker down until-”

Fluttershy started screaming.

Pinkie Pie looked at what she was staring at and also started screaming.

Rarity followed their gaze and cocked her head. “Well... that's odd.”

The mountain was moving.

Not gliding along like in the Shattered Lands, more it was wiggling, shifting ever so slightly at a constant rate. It was also pitch black, despite the bright moon in the sky. It was then that Raj realized that the other two figured out in seconds.

From the peak to the basin Canterlot was built on, the mountain was covered in Changelings.

They flowed down the slopes like ink, shifting and roiling in their clusters. Their wings were a constant buzz, a low droning din he hadn't even realized he was hearing.

“By the Faustmare.” Luna swore, staring up in amazement. “There... there must be a million of them.”

“But how?” Twilight asked, her tears gone in the sudden surge of fear. “Chrysalis doesn't have these numbers. Nowhere near this many in her hive.”

“The other hives, the eastern and southern hives. She took them. She's controlling them.” Raj said, his voice empty.

“B-but, the other queens hate Chrysalis. Even I know that?” Rainbow asked.

Raj shook his head. “Doesn't matter, because she has the Alicorn Amulet. It enhances native magic. The magic unique to whatever sort of creature puts it on.”

Twilight's eyes went wide. “And... she's a changeling queen. By the sun, why didn't we figure it out sooner.” Twilight shivered, fear shaking her voice. “Her natural magic is the changeling hive mind, she's controlling all of them with the amulet!”

Luna whispered, “Just as Crom did, during the Forming Wars.”

They lost another second uselessly staring at the impossible number of seething monsters before a great bang came from behind them. While they were talking, the Guard had barred the doors to the castle with the same cart and it seemed the changelings were trying to batter it down again. Ponies pushed and held the door while the guests milled about fearfully. Blueblood looked at his Captain and asked, “Orders sir?”

Raj spared one more glance at the horde already spilling into the city and said, “Get everypony you can to the train station and get them out of here. Canterlot is lost.”

I've been having a rough time

The main force of the changeling invasion landed like a tsunami of shadows onto the unsuspecting city.

They broke into homes, hissing and spitting like feral animals. Ponies woke up in confusion that rapidly mutated into terror as they were held down by scabrous hooves and injected with burning venom. Unicorns channeled their magic to escape or fight back and were surprised to see their magic simply snuffed out before they were able to muster even a basic spell. Pegasi tried to take to the air but found their wings sluggish and their speed too slow to escape the buzzing horde. The only ones that stood any chance were the Earth ponies, their bodies still strong enough to fight even without drawing on magic, but the sheer volume of numbers was insurmountable. Only the group from the party had any chance at escape.

They rushed headlong down the streets and alleys of Canterlot, a rough clump of scrambling ponies, shrieking in the night. The occasional civilian would look out a window or a door to see what the commotion was and grow rapidly horrified as they were given a shouted description by a passing pony. They would then either hide, get their things together to run, or get ready to fight for their homes. The latter ones were usually those not in a position to see the mountain of changelings rapidly bearing down on them.

Raj ran forward, towards a trio of dark monsters that had ranged ahead of the swarm. He swept his ax up, cleaving through two in one hit. The last lunged and sunk its fangs into his presented forearm, but was unable to sink its fangs through the bunched chainlink beneath his uniform. Raj traded the weapon into his other hand and brought the butt of it down right between the thing's eyes. It made a pitiful meep sound before going limp.

“Raj, come on!” he heard Applejack shout from further ahead. “We're almost at the station.”

Rajrishi nodded and shook the dead thing off his ax before moving to catch up.

As he neared the station he heard shouts of alarm and pain, the sounds of fighting. He sprinted down a curving street to see the railyard was bustling with chitinous monsters. A group of the things had moved ahead, either to cut off their escape or just anyone's escape from the swarm.

A group of guardponies were doing their best, fighting with spears and clubs and what appeared to be a wrench in one of their mouths. They were trained and well equipped, but the changelings had them five to one and were acting in a collective concert, stepping forward as one and showing no fear.

Rainbow was the first to join the fight, sprinting ahead of the rest of the fleeing group and shouldering into a changeling's flank. The thing went sprawling to the ground as the rest turned on her, hissing and baring fangs. Rainbow didn't balk and spun to buck one square in the face. She connected and the thing dropped, but another three dove on top of her, pinning her to the ground.

A blast of streamers and confetti blew over Rainbow's prone form, knocking two of the creatures off her. One ducked his head and endured the sudden absurd attack and looked up to find its origin when a tiny, pastel cannon struck him squarely in the face. The thing reeled and fell back, understandably insensate. “Dashie!” Pinkie yelled and galloped to her friend, “Are you okay?”

Dash got to her hooves and growled something that was lost to the dozens of voices bellowing war cries as the rest of the party guests caught up, attacking the swarm's rear with scavenged spears, improvises bludgeons, and their own bare hooves. The guards from the train, seeing an opportunity, redoubled their efforts and pressed back against their attackers.

By the time Raj had caught up, the station square had turned into a confused melee, made doubly so by bursts of flickering light as the changelings shifted form. Raj saw Fleur de Lis dueling an exact replica of herself, aside from one of them fighting with what appeared to be a ladle from a punch bowl. Taking that as fine enough indication, he went after the one without the ladle. Catching it by surprise, he held that Fleur to the ground and darted a hand into her long mane, ignoring her french accented protests. He yanked a few hairs from her head and watched them flicker away into nothing. “Nope.” He muttered before driving his fist into the false Fleur's face hard enough to shatter something. The Fleur disguise melted away and left a motionless changeling, a cracked crater in its face. The ladle wielding Fleur gasped then composed herself, nodded, and then bolted off to find another fight.

Twilight ran frantically, Spike bouncing on her back. She kept trying to vainly cast, shields, rays, any spell at all, but the magic simply wouldn't come and it drove panic into her chest. She looked around, eyes wild.

“Twily!” A familiar voice shouted, “Over here!”

Twilight zeroed in on the voice and saw her brother waving from near a ticket booth. “Shining!” She gasped as she galloped over, barely able to breath. “I don't know what to-”

“It's fine, calm down.” He put a hoof on her shoulder. “I found somewhere safe for you to wait out the fighting. Here.” He opened the door to the ticket booth and ushered her in. “You'll be safe in there.”

Twilight looked and saw a few other cowering ponies hiding in the small space. She started to step in when a snarl came from her back and her tiny dragon friend pounced onto Shining's face. The burly unicorn cried out and backed up, bucking as the little dragon started clawing and biting like a rabid animal.

“Sp-Spike! What're you doing?” Twilight sputtered.

“It's not him!” the little dragon shouted as he kept clawing and scrabbling. “Shining had a cut on his face, this one doesn't!”

Twilight's eyes went wide and her breath caught. Spike was right, and she hadn't caught it.

A flare of light caught her eye and she turned to see the cowering ponies in the booth shift to their natural forms. Twilight surged forward and slammed the door shut, pressing her weight against it as the monsters inside crashed against it. Her breathing grew rapid again, the panic doubling back in a flash.

The thing that looked like Shining Armor let out a roar and swung his head down, flinging Spike hard to the cobblestones. He let out a pained squeak that turned into a wheeze of agony as the thing's hoof came down on his chest. The stallion seethed, his face a ruin of cuts and tears as he glared at Twilight. He snarled, teeth growing sharp as he disguise rippled off and he moved on the trapped unicorn.

“Leave Spikey alone!” came a slurred cry and a white hoof slammed into the changeling's side. The thing staggered and grunted, surprised at the sudden assault.

Rarity was there, dress ruined and makeup in uneven streaks of color. She wobbled on her hooves, still far from sober. In her hoof was a cracked, empty wine glass she brandished like a dagger. “Stay away from my friends you... you... you dick.” she said simply, her wit dulled by alcohol.

The big changeling let out a shout and charged, ignoring its own wounds. It chomped at the drunk fashionista but she swayed out of the way semi-purposefully. She swung the glass and it shattered on the thing's carapace, showering its open wounds with broken crystal. “For Opalescence!” she cried and stabbed with the shattered remains of the glass, burying the stem in the creature's eye all the way to the base.

The changeling, quite understandably, screamed and fell over, writhing in pain and clutching at the sad ruin of its face. It started to crawl away, crying in pain, and Rarity shouted after it “And don't come back you... you.” she swayed again, a flush coming to her cheeks. She looked over at Twilight, seeing her still holding the door with a panicked look on her face. Looking bored, Rarity reached up and pulled a long pin from her hair, finally ruining the carefully assemble art that was her hairdo. She held it to the knob of the door and hammered it in with her other hoof, jamming the lock irreparably. Twilight eased off of it and the changelings kept fruitlessly pounding on the door.

Rarity smiled victoriously and raised a hoof to her friend. “Now... now then darling I believe it's time we quite this soir... swar... thing. The company has grown... um... not bitter but...”

“Sour?” Spike offered as he staggered to his feet, a claw rubbing against his chest.

“Yes perfect thank you... urp.” Rarity let out an unladylike burp and her color changed a second before she violently threw up onto the street.

On the opposite side of the square, Princess Luna slashed one of the Apple Axes at a burly changeling in armor. The keen edge sliced through the plate and chitin easily and it went down hissing. Another creature pounced onto her back and was immediately flung off by the Princess's flaring wings. Letting out some ancient battle cry she flapped hard and took to the air, scouting further targets.

She spied a squad of reinforcements, coming from another group set to cut them off no doubt, buzzing their way towards the station. Knowing that she was the only effective flier in the group, she took it upon herself to deal with the creatures.

Luna battered the air and landed heavily on a nearby rooftop. She sunk the ax into a chimney and shouted up at the squad, yelling and insult in the old tongue she favored. Translated, it said something truly vulgar about their family's inclination towards a creature that was now long extinct, but bred with the excrement of other, larger creatures to reproduce. Despite the language barrier, the insult had the desired effect and the swarm angled on her, picking up speed as she closed for the attack.

The Princess of the Night smirked, the feeling that only battle gave her bubbling in her chest. She bit the grip of the ax and yanked it free in a burst of masonry dust. She slid behind the chimney and curled herself, waiting until the drone of the changelings was very close. Only when they were scant meters from the rooftop did she unfurl herself, both hooves driving into the structure of the chimney.

The masonry exploded, sending a spray of brick, mortar, and soot flying at near ballistic speeds. Much of the squad was immediately halted by the wave of broken chimney pieces, the rest were blinded by dust and debris. Some landed, the rest arrested their movement to hover in place to clear their eyes. The first thing any of them saw was Princess Luna flying at them, gleaming ax held in her mouth. She whipped her head about, hacking and slashing the defenseless creatures. They fell from the air and splatted onto the shingles and cobblestones below.

One of the landed creatures looked up, probing the drifting dust for his opponent, when a black streak tore through the obstruction towards his position. The changeling scrabbled back but was too slow. Luna crashed into him, impaling him through the chest on her long horn. She swung her head and tossed the dying thing off before setting herself as the rest of now-diminished squad closed in, a manic grin in her eyes.

Applejack threw her weight against the doors to the train, snapping the lock and letting them grind open. She ushered a few ponies in that immediately rushed to the front, intent on getting the engine going to make their escape.

She heard a shriek of alarm she recognized immediately and scanned around. She drew in a sharp breath when she saw a struggling yellow form lying in a pool of pink mane, a changeling's maw clutched to her neck.

Applejack was moving in a flash, lasso out and running. She muttered a curse into the hemp and lashed the rope forward. Her aim was spot on and the rope wrapped around the creature's head, covering its eyes. It pulled up, taking its mouth off of Fluttershy and hissed, scrabbling to see. Applejack gave the rope a harsh tug and the thing flew towards her, neck stretching out enough to separate some of the chitinous plates. It hit the ground and was still, bubbling venom leaking from the corner of its mouth.

AJ paid it no mind and raced towards her fallen friend. She rolled her over onto her back and looked her over, “Fluttershy, Fluttershy! Are you alright? What in the hay were you doing in the open like that?”

Fluttershy smiled dreamily and rolled her head, eyes filling with tiny green circles. “Why, hello there Applehat, are you ready for to go to Joy Park? We can ride the night wheel!” she shuddered, giggling and spouting gibberish.

Applejack looked at her neck and saw the puckered punctures there, the wounds faintly green with venom. “Yeah, looks like you got got. Dang it Fluttershy! You were supposed to hide!”

Fluttershy giggled again and unfolded her front legs. “Mister Teeth wanted to kiss Fuzzybottom, but I wanted him for myself.” curled up in her torn bodice was Angel Bunny, fur poofed up and looking absolutely terrified.

Applejack sneered, wanting to chastise her friend but also knowing the uselessness of it. She bit the poisoned pony's dress and dragged her up onto her back before heading towards the train.

Black smoke started boiling out of the train's engine and a cheer went up among the pony defenders. Shining Armor, the real one, barked orders to the guards and they started moving in coordinated lines towards the cars, dragging the civilians when they needed to.

What was left of the swarm collected together, now a much smaller clump, and made one last rush for at the lines. This was very different however. Before they were fighting, now they were simply dying. Drones hurled themselves onto the spears and blades of their foes, giving their lives for even the most momentary tactical advantage. This only lasted a few seconds however before every single one of the changelings opened their backs and buzzed up into the air.

Raj looked around in confusion, close to a dozen dead changelings leaking onto the ground near him. “What the hell was that?” He looked over, doing a headcount.

“Rarity! They got Rarity!” Twilight shouted and pointed up at the retreating swarm.

“H-h-help me!” She cried, flailing in the grip of the bugs.

Raj readied his ax to throw when Pinkie shouted, “Wait, stop, it's a trick. Rarity's right here!” she pointed at another Rarity standing just in front of the crowd of civilians clamoring to get on the train.

Rarity nodded, “Yes darling, don't worry yourself. That's just an illusion to fool you. I'm the one and only!” She declared, hoof pressed to her chest, words coming without a hint of drunken slurring.

Raj hurled the ax, the blade tumbling so fast it looked like a golden blur. It arced forward, right on target with the retreating form of the changeling holding Rarity's right limbs. It would hit, Rarity would drop, and it would be a mad scramble to get her back to the train before-

A small changeling, not much larger than Applebloom, buzzed in the path of the ax and took it squarely to the back of the head.

The swarm, and Rarity, disappeared behind a line of buildings.

“Fuck!” Raj shouted as he lashed out at the false unicorn. It sputtered something before taking a hard kick to the chest that blew the disguise off of it in a burst of green fire.

“Hold on Rarity, I'mma comin'!” Applejack bellowed and charged forward, rope already circling over her head.

Luna stopped her with an extended leg and a flat look. “Neigh Applejack, hold. We have not the time.”

Applejack pushed the limb down and shouted, “You lost your mind? We have to go get her back!”

“She's right, Applejack.” Rainbow Dash rasped and pointed up at the mountain. “Look, Canterlot Mountain is clear. No changelings.”

Twilight shivered. “Which means they're all in the city.”

“The full might of the swarm is upon us.” Princess Luna said with a sneer. “We have perhaps minutes.”

“Then we need to leave. Now.” Raj ordered, his hands shaking. “Everypony on the train, drag them if you have to.” He turned around and shouted, “Get on the train!”

The crowd hurried, ushered on by the guardponies. Princess Luna hurried to the front to oversee the engineers while Blueblood started the arduous process of checking each passenger to see if they were an infiltrator, the possibility more real than ever.

Raj helped an elderly pony through the doors and into the hooves of Twilight and a guard. “That's the last of them.” he told the guard who nodded and passed the message up to the engine car. Raj looked at Twilight and grimaced, “Um, hey Twilight. I need to tell-”

“You're not coming. You're going to try and kill Queen Chrysalis. I know.” She said matter of factly, fatigue lowering her tone. “I figured it out when Rarity was taken.”

Raj nodded, surprised but not really. “Yeah, I have to go.”

“Makes sense.” She looked down at the gap between the train and the platform. “Chrysalis is hurt and she's busy locking down the city. Without Rarity the elements are useless and without magic so are the rest of us. She's vulnerable right now and you're the only one that can. I get it.” She met his eyes. “It's incredibly stupid, but I get it.”

“This is the only chance we have Twilight.”

She shook her head and sighed, “Now Raj, this is the only chance we have now. What about the chance we get tomorrow, and you're not around to help?” The smokestack on the train puffed and barked out a cloud of black. The train jerked suddenly and then started to slowly chug forward. “You're still not coming, are you?”

“Let the others know once you're free of the null zone. Blueblood will know what to do.”

“Applejack's going to be so mad at you.” She said with a despairing smile.

“Tell her I'm sorry.”

“Tell her yourself.” She shot back and slammed the door shut.

The train started to pick up speed rapidly. By the time its caboose had cleared the platform, Raj was gone.

But I'm not giving up, not yet

Chrysalis was very happy indeed.

She crossed her legs where she lounged on the throne, the only one left in the room after she had smashed the smaller one belonging to the still fleeing princess. Honestly, the piece of furniture was quite uncomfortable and nowhere near as impressive as the Titan-made artifact set up in the square, but the sheer spectacle of her lounging on her defeated enemy's literal seat of power was something she simply couldn't give up so soon.

She focused again, casting her perception through one of the nearby guards. It was an eerie sensation at first, but one she rapidly grew used to. She admired herself, not for the first time that night. She took the time to examine her long, lithe body stretched out before the guard, the faintly shimmering amulet fastened around her neck. She felt a small surge of shameful interest within the drone she was casting through and chuckled silently to herself. She explored this one's mind for a moment and found it was one of the transplants from the eastern hive, not her own brood. She found that acceptable and let him pine fruitlessly.

She did another check-in, pulsing her will out to the vast swarm attacking the city. She got back a rapid kaleidoscope of images, almost too confusing to process. She reached out to a few of the nearby changelings, outsourcing the bulk of the cognitive process to their smaller minds and fed the completed report back to herself. The nearby changelings grimaced slightly, the hijacking of their mental functions a painful experience, but these particular creatures just so happened to be among the small minority that had attempted a coup against her before she had mastered the amulet, so they had been relegated to little more than extra processing power for the resurrected hivemind, at least until the strain made their brains leak out of their ears.

She smiled as the filtered information fed through her thoughts, little different from the previous checks.

Canterlot was in chaos. Its citizens already being envenomed and cocooned, its defenders fighting a pointless battle in garrisons and barracks, and its rulers either on the run or hanging suspended in the castle. Even its greatest weapon, the Elements of Harmony, was nothing but a couple of pieces of useless jewelry now that one of them was back in her clutches.

This was going perfectly. Almost.

There had been snags, of course. No plan survives contact with the enemy. She'd been forced to buy a little bit of time right before the throne had been activated, even one misstep in the activation process and the magic of the artifact might fade for all time. That little error had cost a few dozen lives to make up for, and those heroes would be remembered for all time. The biggest issue was, of course, the party guests that managed to escape her trap.

Chrysalis rubbed a hoof over her chest, feeling solid chitin where only a short time ago it had been little more than a mass of black shards held together with membrane and goo. That strike had given her victims the chance they needed to flee, and flee they did. She sent her gaze through the lead of the pursuit team, a hundred strong company that was following the locomotive. She saw the small, lit segment far below the flying changeling, chugging along at breakneck speed. She felt a prickle of annoyance and almost willed the company to attack the train, but held back. Twilight Sparkle was on that train, along with her brother, a Princess, several dozen guards, and that bizarre ape. She'd just be throwing lives away for nothing.

She reminded herself that victory was already hers. She had the city, she had their ruler, she had an army the likes of which the world had not seen in millennia under her complete control. All she needed to do was consolidate her forces here, and then strike out against her foes. Ponyville would be next, a break in the initial plan for sure, but she couldn't simply let the Elements and an alicorn sit unattended for any length of time. Within the week that confounded village would be buried under a tide of black carapace. Acting out of spite and petulance would do nothing to advance her goals.

The Queen of the Changelings settled onto Celestias's, no, her throne, smiling faintly. This could scarcely be going better.

And it was at that moment that Raj struck.

One of the nearby guards saw him drop from the ceiling. The alarm he felt passed up the connection to his queen at the speed of thought and Chrysalis' eyes snapped open, terribly aware. She sprang away from the throne with perhaps inches to spare as the blade of a golden hatchet slammed into the edge of the throne, sinking deep into the solid stone right where she had been lounging her head.

Never one to quit, Rajrishi wrenched the ax free and was after her in an instant, closing the distance in three short bounds. It was long enough for her to compose herself though. A shield made of sickly green light appeared between them, protecting her. The human crashed against it, his raw strength enough to cause the field to buckle. Without a word, she sent a missive to her attendant guards to attack the intruder. They leaped to obey and charged at him, heedless of the danger, as he kept bashing against the shield.

As the guards closed, Captain Rajrishi somehow sensed them closing and whirled his ax in an arc. The blade cleaved through the necks of two of the attackers and buried solidly in the head of the third just below his ear.

The panic and fear of the first two reached her in an instant, feeling like a distant lingering sensation. She cut them off from the hivemind as they fell, death racing to take them in seconds. The third was struck too rapidly however, and the death raced up the connection and stung the queen, feeling like a pin against her thoughts. This close it was keener, a burning prick as one, tiny node of the hivemind went terribly dark.

The guards had done little to halt the intruder, but they bought time. She took it to flap backwards and get some distance from the human as she reached out to any nearby drones for help. Raj ripped his ax from the dead changeling and drove it into the shield again, shattering it easily now that Chrysalis wasn't feeding energy into it. He started to follow after but halted when the upper windows were filled with buzzing drones. Within a second, more than two dozen of her minions stood between her and the intruder.

The human swore and backpedaled as the changelings opened fire, small streaks of green energy firing from their horns. The human was too fast however and found cover behind the throne before any of them could land a hit.

Chrysalis let out a breath. Her evening had gotten far more hectic in the last twenty seconds. She mentally ordered any available drones to come to the castle and got an affirmation from more than a hundred in an instant with several times that likely to be available after some shuffling. Time, all she needed was time and this creature wouldn't stand a chance. She flicked through the perceptions of every changeling within the room, hoping one of them could see the thing, which none of them could. She considered having them spread out to get eyes on him, but that would thin the barrier between her and him. Just wait, she just needed to wait.

“I'm surprised, Captain.” She yelled out, mentally ordering everypony present to be silent so she could be heard. “I really thought you would be on that train with the rest of the fleeing cowards. Tell me, how did you get here with no drones seeing you?”

There was a few seconds of quiet before the human yelled back, “The canals. You aren't patrolling to canals.” Chrysalis swore at herself. Changelings, as a race, are not strong swimmers. Neither are ponies for that matter, so she hadn't bothered doing anything with the canals that crisscrossed the city.

The human shouted again, “Now tell me something. I hit you in the chest with Gate Maker. That name isn't ironic by the way, that thing knocks down walls. I know a Changeling Queen is resilient, but nothing short of a True-Born Titanspawn can bounce back from something like that.”

Chrysalis grinned. The human had come to the palace assuming she would be injured, a fatal mistake if there ever was one. “Perhaps your pitching arm isn't as up to snuff as you assumed?” She asked, hoping to buy more time.

“Nah, that's not it. I'm guessing it has something to do with the necklace. I'm guessing it lets you siphon the vitality of the drones under your control, right? Like some sort of psychic vampire that preys on its own children?”

Chrysalis' face fell. While she did not care for the unflattering metaphor, that was exactly right. One of the many benefits of being the nucleus of the hive mind was being able to draw off the strength of her minions to heal and empower herself. It was the only reason she was still conscious after absorbing the hammer blow from before.

A terrible crack sounded from the throne, the whole piece shuddering. It happened again a moment later and Chrysalis recognized it, the sound of shearing stone. The whole structure crashed to the side, more than seven feet of stone laying on its side. Chrysalis was confused by this for a moment before the mass of worked rock lifted up and started charging at her. The human was running at her with a six-hundred pound piece of cover.

She started screaming an order on instinct but the minions were already following her instructions by the time she opened her mouth. More green bolts streaked out towards the attacker but they simply bounced and splashed off the stone. Several of the drones buzzed into the air in hopes of getting a better shot, but the human was moving too quickly.

Rajrishi smashed into the formation of changelings, scattering the forward line apart. The piece of broken masonry crashed down onto the creatures and Chrysalis felt a pair of death-stings hit her mind. She backed up, mentally ordering the remaining drones to move in on the human. They complied despite the mad fear she could feel bubbling in their thoughts and rushed the human as a single entity.

She lost sight of the human under the press of chitin and felt a trill of excitement at the impending victory. She cast her vision into the mind of one of the forward drones, hoping to bear witness to her would-be assassin's demise. Instead she saw a flashing ax split apart the changeling's vision. Chrysalis let out a bark of sympathetic pain, her concentration wavering for a second. By the time she had re-asserted control, three more death-stings pained her.

The human hadn't gone down, hadn't balked in the face of the swarm. To the contrary, he was annihilating them.

A pair of drones charged, horns burning with sickly green energy, but they were dashed aside by a flashing golden ax. Another went high to try and rain fire down on him, but the assassin managed to zig-zag the shots while striking out against the line of drones trying the hem him in. He was moving with the kind of flow and rapidity Chrysalis had never seen before. He struck, dodged, blocked, and maneuvered with terrible instinct, inflicting horrific damage on her minions in the process.

Refusing to concede, Chrysalis redoubled her efforts, laying all of her focus on micromanaging her minions, mentally forcing their bodies to pump more adrenaline to make them stronger and faster while making their movement more precise and direct. It made little difference however, the human was simply too savagely violent.

Then, much to her surprise, she felt something. Like detecting a single grain of sand under her hoof on a marble floor. A tiny mote drifting inside of the creature, so small she couldn't detect it before. In the human was the smallest of drops of venom, injected through a minor bite on his hand. With him inside the throne's field, his biology hadn't broken down the magic that bound it together.

That was her in, how she would beat this. It took doses and doses to fully beguile a creature, but she didn't need to beguile him. She just needed to seize hold for only a second, that's all it would take for the swarm to close in and finish the beast. She reached out with her magic, telling the single drop to seep into the recesses of his mind, to give her influence over this creature. She threw the mental capacities of a dozen more mindslaves into the task, their will bolstering her own towards the task.

At first there was nothing, and she was afraid this was a waste of time. Then there were flashes, memories flickering through her mind. She dug deeper, pressing for the control she needed. She saw buildings stretched higher than the clouds, machines that roared and rumbled along, and people, so very many people, thousands or even millions more crammed into a world smaller than Equus. She saw a house with no one in it, sand, more sand, a small face that looked like his own, and smelled something that ached with longing, felt a deep, powerful love that matched that of Cadance and Shining Armor in intensity but was older, more rooted. Like it was a part of this creature more than his skin and bones. And she could feel it reciprocated, a melancholic, longing desire drifting from impossibly far away.

She grabbed hold of those emotions, tracing them along the wefts and weaves of his thoughts, to his foremind, where his current thoughts were. They hit like a hammer on her mind, the thoughts just as violent as the creature's actions. There was no reluctance to it, no remorse or notions of restraint. Just anger, control and... fun? Right there, flickering in his mind like a forgotten candle, naked entertainment.

By Crom, this monster was having fun!

That notion shook her, a tremor of fear running down her body, but she kept hold. She had the thing's thoughts now, tight in her hoof. She twisted them, intent on nothing specific and...

Nothing. Nothing happened.

She reached out into the thing's mind again and found no grip. She had burned through the iota of poison in his veins.

All across the city of Canterlot hundreds of changelings started spewing vulgarities, expressing their queen's frustration for her. She backpedaled, buzzing her wings to pick up speed. Distance was her ally, distance and time. Reinforcements would arrive soon, she just had to last until then.

The human must have seen her take off, because as soon as she had a limp body was flung her way. She jinked out of the way of the dead missile, one of her brood-drones unless she missed her guess, and pulled up a shield to block another a second later. The barbarous creature was hurling her dead minions at her!

More than anything else, that infuriated her. She shouted, “You vile brute!” and charged her horn. She launched a mad fusillade of spell darts at the human. He slid past the first line of shots and broke into a run, breaking away from the scattered guards. Chrysalis buzzed upwards, out of reach of his hands and weapons, and launched another barrage.

She managed a hit, one of her rounds slicing into his hip. Rajrishi's steps faltered and he went into a roll. He came up in a spring, slipping past another mass of her shots and hurled something at that was too fast for her to identify. His aim was off though and went far too high. She grimaced and focused again while directing what was left of her drones to re-engage.

Alarm rose up among the local swarm, at least from those that could see her. She hijacked their vision in time to see a glowing ball of something hurtling towards her from above. She started to slide out of the way but wasn't fast enough to evade the descending chandelier, its elegant arms still lit by faint flames.

She and the chandelier hit the ground with a terrible clatter, her own pain and dismay rippling out into the swarm, giving pause to it. She grabbed back hold of the reins of power in an instant and stole strength into herself, rolling the burning decoration off of her. One of her eyes wouldn't focus and the other one was blinded, a broken piece of crystal stabbed directly into it. She shook the shard free and shunted the pain onto one of her mindslaves, the wretch's screams echoing through the halls of the palace, and blinked once, the wound smearing away like a dollop of jelly. She did a mental check, reinforcements were just a second away. All she needed to do was get back into the air.

Her vision justified just in time to see the dark figure step close and swing a fist directly into her face. She felt layers of carapace shatter apart and reform an instant later with stolen vitality. Another blow struck her at the base of her neck and she staggered, the pain slicing into her as one of her mindslaves stroked out and went insensate.

She came back a second later to feel herself being pulled forwards, the human's hand wrapped around the chain of the Alicorn Amulet. In his other hand was that gleaming ax, still wet with changeling viscera, poised to divorce her head from her neck. Chrysalis pushed her hooves against the human's chest with a strength borne of desperation, fearing the descending ax.

Raj flew back and away, the Alicorn Amulet held tight in his fist.

Chrysalis felt the loss before she saw it, a sudden vacancy in her mind, a terrible loss that was difficult to name. It was like she had been using her eyes and had suddenly been forced to wear a welding mask, but even that didn't work. She didn't even have the mental framework to fully encapsulate what had been ripped from her.

She stepped back, butting against the fallen chandelier, fear gripping her. The human rose to his feet, seemingly unhurt. He looked down at the item in his hand and then back to her. She saw the evil glint in his expression, the knowledge that she was so much weaker now. He slid it into his jacket pocket and took a step forward.

Right then, every door, window, and less than structurally sound wall burst inwards, a riot of battling changelings spilling onto the grounds.

For a second Chrysalis felt elation, thinking her swarm had come to save her. That vanished in an instant when she saw the drones of her swarm brawling and scrapping with one another. Some clawed their way for her, hate in their expressions, while others tried to hold them back from her. Several others appeared to have simply gone mad from her control, striking out in a maddened fury at anything nearby.

She lost sight of the human in the chaos that had erupted. She opened her wings to fly up and away but felt a sharp stab of pain. She looked back and saw a slice in her right front and hind wing, enough damage to make them useless. Swearing, she vaulted the chandelier and made her way across the ballroom on hoof. She needed to rally her loyal drones, track the human down before he escaped.

She saw a gleam of light and flinched back. The human's ax sunk into a stone pillar so far she could see nothing of the head. She looked back and saw the human rushing towards her, tearing through the chaotic fighting like it was smoke. The human wasn't going to flee with the amulet, he was still trying to kill her.

Chrysalis ran, vaulting up the stairs to the higher levels. She was at the top of the stairs when she heard cracking stone. She cast a glance back to see the human standing at the bottom of the case, glaring up at her. She snarled and launched a bolt of green at his face. He swayed out of its path and came bounding up the steps at her.

She galloped away in a panic, heading further up. She reached out into the hivemind, grabbing for any loyal drones that might help her. Without the amulet it was a shabby thing, but enough to emit her distress. She got returns from several hundred, but they were far from her and preoccupied. She was on her own. That prospect did little to curb her terror.

She could feel the human behind her, a pulsing knot of malice closing in. She paused at every hall, losing precious ground as she tried to remember which of the castle's passages might lead to freedom. She felt tired already, soreness building in her muscles. On instinct she tried to draw strength through the hivemind but found it as responsive as a stone, useless without the amulet. Just run, just keep running, that's all she could do.

Then she went up a stair, down a hall, and it wasn't. No more doors, no more halls, no more stairs, just a central pillar and walls lined with stained glass windows. She had trapped herself.

Seconds. She had seconds before she was caught. Nowhere to run, no one to put in front of her, nothing left.

Then, an idea. Something she remembered from before, when she had channeled through the poison in the human's body. She ran for the pillar, her body melting with green fire as she called on the only real magic left to her.

Rajrishi slid into the room just as she had finished ducking around the pillar, a thin wisp of her tail visible. Snarling a curse he sprang forward, ax high, spun and-

-came face to face with his loving wife Marielle.

She stared up at him, blue eyes bright and staring. She was wearing the summer dress, the blue one chased in yellow he got her for their anniversary. Her hair was in their natural curls, just the way they were when he came home from the war. She smiled, projecting just as much warmth and kindness as he had ever imagined. He saw this, saw all of this, and hesitated. That was all Chrysalis needed.

Her disguise burned off in a flash of green and she pounced, driving the tip of her jagged horn into his chest.

The gnarled point tore through his uniform, armor, rib, lung, and then all that again as it tore out of his back, the tip cracking through the shoulder blade of his ax-hand. He staggered back, sputtering curses and struggling to support his weight. With a wrathful shout he curled his ax up and hooked the beard of it on her horn, with his other he unsheathed his knife from his side. Sputtering up blood and spittle he drove the blade down into the queen's back, slicing chitin and carapace.

Chrysalis shrieked, struggling back from the lock but was held in place by the ax. Hissing with effort, she twisted her head hard enough to crack her chitinous horn off at the base. Unbalanced, the two of them fell back and away from each other, Chrysalis onto her side and Rajrishi stumbling back against one of the windows.

She could feel herself dying, her life ebbing out through her perforated back. She tried to call on her magic but was met with a tingling discomfort, her missing horn responding to nothing. She glanced around, furtive, terrified, looking for anything that might save her.

The amulet, the Alicorn Amulet. The human still had it, he had to. She started crawling, pulling herself along with the one hoof that was still following her commands. An hour ago a million changelings followed her orders, now only a single hoof did.

She saw it, on the ground near the human's foot, somehow torn free in the struggle. She had no idea how, but she wasn't going to question it. She reached out, vision going dark. Her limb touched it, whispered against it. She reached again, found purchase, and dragged it back with all the effort of pushing a mountain. She looped it around, holding it to her neck, hoping the clasp would-

Bliss, sudden and complete. She felt her mind expand out, grabbing hold of the weaker minds and those loyal to her in an instant. She channeled their energy into herself, the pain of her injuries fading in an instant. The fear, the panic, it was all gone, replaced with confidence and absolute certainty.

Chrysalis panted, the wounds on her back sealing slowly, vital energy flowing to her from a markedly diminished swarm. Without her control, many of her unwilling minions had taken the chance to flee to city. It would take time and much borrowed will to bring them back to heel. How quickly everything had unraveled.

As slowly as she was healing, the human was doing worse. Thick red seeped from the edges of the severed horn, darkening the front of his uniform. Despite that, he was already back on his feet, though he leaned against a tall window for support. His breath came raggedly, weakly, but it came.

Chrysalis coughed, keeping a wary eye. “That's... you know I cannot help but be impressed.”

Raj looked at her sidelong, his skin going white. “What?”

The changeling queen smirked, “I drive my horn into your chest, piercing your lung, breaking ribs, all but killing you. And your first reaction is to draw that knife and open up my back. I don't think there is a single creature in all of Equus that would do the same.”

“I'm not from here.” Raj spat bitterly, a little bit more strength in his voice.

She felt the holes in her chest suck shut, giving her more confidence to speak. “Oh, I know that, I know that very well. Captain Rajrishi Singh Oberoi, commander of the Lunar Guard and the Princess of the Night's champion. Greatest warrior in all of Equestria some say.” She grinned evilly, “And the reason for this whole evening.”

Raj coughed up a plug of crimson. “Oh, great, another royal horse creature overstating my importance. Awesome, I get more of that.”

“And still with that melancholy wit. But it's true in this instance. Without you, I never would have been able to do this.” She gestured out at the dying city before pointing a hoof at her amulet. “I never would have found this treasure.”

“Shut your wormhole bug.”

Chrysalis did no such thing. “I had been planning a more subtle invasion, a quiet takeover of the country's most important ponies. It was the only option I had after Shining Armor and Cadance reduced my numbers and embarrassed me. But then you came along, a completely unknown factor. I was prepared to continue, but I ordered for more intelligence be gathered on you. I wouldn't let something like a new player upset my plans. It was during that scouting we learned of this, the Alicorn Amulet, the only relic made by the Faustmare, and that changed everything.”

Her smile grew wider. “I didn't need subtlety, every hive, every changeling, was mine to command once I had it in my hooves. I scarcely needed to transport my throne, my numbers were such that any realm was mine for the taking. And it's all because of you, your mere presence changed everything. It's fitting that you would be the one to come so close to stopping me.” She tilted her head back, leering at him as he leaned on the wall. “But only close.”

Raj looked up at her, tired and pale. “Wow... Princess Cadance was right.” He wiped his chin. “You really do like to hear yourself talk.”

Chrysalis opened her mouth to laugh, her eyes tilting up. Raj took the chance and whipped his body, hurling his knife with everything he had left. The steel sang from his fingertips, heading straight for the changeling queen's throat.

The blade sparked off a moment-field, conjured from the barely regenerated nub of the queen's horn.

She watched the weapon skitter across the floor, the tip snapped off cleanly. She smirked at him again, “A noble effort Captain, but still not enough.”

Raj's hand lowered, his posture sinking against the window. “I didn't... I didn't think it was.” He smiled grimly, teeth reddened. “But I had to try.”

Chrysalis didn't say anything back. She simply darted forward, spun and bucked him through the window.

* * *

Raj felt a sudden chill hit him, a dry, cruel cold, and went weightless in the open air.

The edges of his vision went dark, night dark, the periphery swallowed up by the magically gloomed palace. To his right he could see the town through a cloud of glittering razors. Scarce, flickering light clung to windows of the town, the roofs and eaves lit by the light of alien stars.

He thought about how much Mari would have liked the view, and then he was falling.

Shadow coiled beneath him, a long dark stretching into infinity, both close enough to touch and as distant as home. He thought about the Everfree at night, how impenetrable the darkness of that forest was in the long hours, and realized this was nothing like it.

He realized how afraid he should have been, but he was out of that. The tap had gone dry on fear. Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt.

He thought about Twilight, and Fluttershy, and Rainbow, and Applejack, and Rarity, and Pinkie. He thought about Luna and Topsail and Minuette and Berry Punch and Spike and Zecora. He hoped that they would be alright, that they'd find a way to stay alive. Then he remembered that Zecora was dead, and that didn't work.

He thought about his wife, and a small, weak little part of him was glad he got to see her again before the end.

And then he fell into that long dark. He fell and fell, until he stopped.

Book One: 160 Days

His muscles burned, his feet throbbed, and his breath rasped as he ran.

A bramble snagged his pants and tore a gash in the material. A passive part of his mind noticed, but there wasn't much he could do about it. Running was all his mind could focus on.

The bramble was the first of many and he soon found himself passing through one of the scattered acres of the Everfree that was choked with the things. As he moved he whipped his staff back and forth, parting lengths of razored vines. Behind him he heard snuffs and grunts of effort as the hulking beast chasing him plowed through the thicket.

He vaulted hard off of a log, sailing further than intended. He grimaced and twisted in midair to try and avoid a tree that was growing closer. He struck it hard with a shoulder, tearing his shirt and bruising skin. Balance lost, he hit the ground and went into a roll, somehow keeping a tight grip on his staff.

He started to cry out but he swallowed it, replacing the scream with a low hiss. He clutched the joint, which was already feeling hot and raw. A sudden crack snapped his attention back to the creature pursuing him. A tree a short distance behind him was simply ripped aside as a chitinous monster barreled through. On pure instinct he hopped back, covering an amount of distance that startled him. His back pressed against a rock, halting his retreat.

The beast covered the distance with long strides and rose to its full height before lunging, trying to close shelled paws over him. He couldn't see it, but he could smell the caustic stink of its musk and feel the wet heat of its panting breath.

Blindly, he lunged the tip of his staff upwards and was rewarded by a hollow clunk as it hit the roof of the thing's mouth. The beast coughed and leaned back, trying the rid itself of the rod shoved in its mouth. He leaned into it and the creature rolled back, striking the ground with a great crash amidst snarls, hums, and growls.

He took the chance and rolled back over the rock, staggered a little, then came up in a sprint. A part of his mind screamed at him how close the beast came to bearing him down and finishing him off in that one little moment, but he pushed that thought down as best he could and stooped into a loping run. A few seconds of running later and he saw a phosphorescent glow on a tree in the shape of an X. As soon as he saw it he put on the brakes and hopped to the base of it.

He only had a few seconds to wait before the creature came thundering into the clearing, crying and roaring its fury. It scanned the area and saw him standing in the open, back to the heavy tree. The massive beast warbled something and broke into an immediate charge at him, wet carapace flashing in the meager light. The insect brain in the thing's chitinous skull figured out that going for the hug before was a mistake, a folly of instinct. It was simply going to bowl him over, trample him with its shelled bulk and be done with him.

That was the creature's plan. Then it set paw on the patch of dirt before the man and it simply fell. The massive creature snapped any twigs and branches that fell in the path of it’s fall. The beast rolled once in the air and landed at the bottom of the pit with a heavy thud. It growled with pain and frustration.

Warily, he moved to the edge of the pit and peered down at it. A thin shower of moonlight stabbed down, showing the creature rising to its paws and standing up at the wall of its prison. It saw him looking down at it and roared, rage giving it’s volume a purpose. Blunt, heavy claws ripped at the sides, letting loose a wash of soil and stones as it cried and screamed. The creature was livid, but still trapped.

He let out a calming breath, a wave of relief drooping his muscles. His hand wiped at the dirt stuck to the beads of sweat on his brow. He muttered “It worked, holy... it actually worked. Wonder how long he'll be trapped down there.”

Zecora melted out of the foliage, lightly stepping up next to him and looking down at the trapped beast. “In time, he will learn to claw out of the dirt, but for now- oh Raj, you're hurt!” Her eyes widened when she saw the oozing scratches on his upper body, as well as the dozens of incidental abrasions he acquired running through the Everfree at night.

Raj waved her attention off. “We'll worry about it later. For now, let's go.”

She hesitated, then nodded. She followed after him at a light jog, traveling along the path of destruction wrought by their pursuer.

It didn't take long before they stumbled upon a tree that was entirely taken over by a yellow growth to the point the thing resembled nothing less than an enormous, waxen mushroom. Plants on all sides were torn away, chewed up to build the hive clinging to the branches, leaving a barren clearing in a wide area. Approaching the waxy trunk, the caustic smell merged with damp rot to create a uniquely foul stink.

Zecora mumbled a few things in her own tongue, reciting instructional rhymes as she inspected a drooping section of the parasitic hive. She pressed a hoof against the substance experimentally and found a soft spot. She set jars underneath the sac and sliced it with a small knife, releasing a cascade of pungent, yellow slime.

She coughed heavily and almost gagged. “Ugh, I have been harvesting Bugbear honey since I was a girl, but the smell always makes me want to hurl!” She pressed a hoof to her face and bulged her cheeks.

A moment later the smell hit her companion's nostrils and he couldn't help but agree. He settled for breathing from his mouth and closed his eyes to hide from the sudden acid stinging that came to them. For a minute, there was nothing but the nauseating splash of the honey flowing into the jar and the background static of insects supping on their sweat.

They both heard a wet, ripping sound come from above. Together they looked up to see a section of the hive twitching and shuddering, right above where the trunk split into a Y.

“...Is uhh. Is that normal?” He asked, feeling a pit drop in his stomach.

Zecora's eyes widened. “This is not great, it seems the beast has found a mate!” She started to backpedal, moving out from under the waxen overhang.

A mass larger than both of them put together slopped to the ground, rolling away and spraying larva. With a groggy roar the female Bugbear stood on four legs, shaking a layer of goop and bug-juice from her chitinous hide.

Raj flicked his staff up, pointing it at the giant insect “Quick Zecora, can these things be reasoned with?”

She shot him a crazed look. “No! Bugbears exist for two things, and two things only: To guard their hive, and to eat the flesh of ponies!”

He spat a curse and shouted “I'll distract it, get the honey!” He moved to the side, waving his staff and shouting to get the Bugbear's attention. The creature's multifaceted eyes followed his movement and a buzzing growl grew in it’s chest, louder and fiercer than anything her husband had mustered.

Without the thick canopy blocking the moon, he could finally see this creature in full. It was the same general size and shape of a grizzly bear, but the similarities ended there. Instead of fur it had mottled plates of carapace with sickly green bristles of hair jutting between the layers. A cluster of glossy compound eyes bristled along its skull set over a lamprey mouth, a pair of twitching, grasping mandibles on either side of the undulating hole.

He backpedaled, trying to create distance between it and Zecora. Before he made it twelve steps, the Bugbear was on him, swiping wide with a clawed paw. He dodged back, the edge of the claws opening a trio of tiny cuts over his sternum. He sidestepped the next swipe and shuffled back out of the thing's reach.

The Bugbear reared up and lunged, its hind legs chewing at the earth. It was propelled forward, forelegs wide and mandibles grasping. A surge of fear struck him and he flexed his legs, launching upwards.

Catching itself, the Bugbear had a moment to wonder where the intruder had gone before Raj landed directly on her back, cracking a wide plate with his staff. The sudden force drove her into the ground with a pained roar. He planted a hand on her back, feeling a tuft of hair and finding it to be more akin to cactus needles, and pushed off. He landed nimbly behind the creature and settled into a battle stance again.

Lumbering to her feet, the Bugbear shook confusion from its insect brain. It lumbered around, seeing the intruder in her domain and charged again, bellowing rage.

He nodded slightly, waiting for a moment. Just as he came into her reach, he dove to the side and into a roll. He looked up, expecting the see the beast rounding on him but saw nothing but moonlit night. The creature had gone running right past him.

He had forgotten one thing. A pretty important thing. This creature looked like a bug, but it was also a bear, and bears protect their young.

“Zecora!” The Bugbear was making a beeline for the Zebra, who was still occupied harvesting the goop from the tree. He broke into a sprint. “Zecora, run!”

She looked up and her face washed over with horror, a jar slipping from her hooves and shattering on a root. She screamed and galloped, speeding away from the bestial insect.

Through the thick undergrowth of the Everfree Forest at night, a Bugbear could bluster its way through swifter than his two legs could ever carry him. But over open terrain, Raj was faster. All he had to do is get close enough to strike a leg, get her to slow down. He was gaining ground, almost in reach. He could see the spot to hit, a soft spot right above the knee. He choked down on his staff, ready to swing.

A cracking sound came from the Bugbear's back and a sextet of long, gossamer wings unfolded from among the plates. They beat at the air furiously, lifting the creature into the air.

Raj gaped “It has wings? Why does it have wings?!”

The Bugbear Mother didn't answer and started zipping hard at the fleeing Zebra, outpacing her pursuer completely. The beast closed on her, claws reaching when he shouted “Zecora, down!”

The warning ended up saving her life. Her legs went out from underneath her, and her belly ground along the dirt, a grimace twisting her face. Fetlocks came up to cover her eyes. The grasping Bugbear roared with frustration as it zoomed over her prone form close enough to graze her mohawk. The wings snapped shut and it's claws dug into the earth, slowing it down.

Pleasantly surprised by the lack of rending she was experiencing, Zecora pulled her head up to see the Bugbear less than two body-lengths from her prone position. She bolted upright with panicked speed and started to pull back, her flurry of hooves churning soil but unable to find any grip. The Bugbear grabbed hold of her mane with a scabrous claw and hauled her back, despite the Zebra's writhing and kicking. The creature lifted her up and grasped her flank. It raised the panicking zebra overhead and stood at full height. The Zebra's hooves flailed wildly at the air, a terrible fear burning in her eyes as the creature lowered her body to flexing hook-teeth.

Screaming wordlessly, Raj flew at the thing like he was hurled from a catapult. Passing underneath Zecora, he drove the tip of his staff into the Bugbear's chest with enough force to crack the plate and impale her on the first few inches of blunt wood. Before it could even react he landed and withdrew his weapon, bringing the end into a looping swing that struck the creature directly in the face, cracking chitin and fang. The powerful strike blew the creature onto its back and released Zecora from its claws. She dropped a short distance and landed in an outstretched arm.

Zecora stammered something fearful and scrambled away, not even bothering to look back at the creature that was seconds away from tearing open her gullet.

He watched her go, taking guilty note of the weeping punctures on her flank. He glowered and turned back to the Bugbear.

The creature was unsteady on its paws. It made feeble, pained sounds as it shook it's plated head, knocking loose a spray of dripping humour from dozens of cracks in its carapace.

He let out a breath and lowered the tip of his staff. “I don't know if you can understand me creature... But I'm going to try anyway.”

The Bugbear ceased shaking and stared at him, huffing slightly. He couldn't tell if it was comprehending him or if it was just simply wary of him now.

Keeping his eyes on the monster, he continued “On the off chance you are a creature of intellect, I'm going to tell you this: I require that honey. I need it for reasons that I cannot explain. It is up to you if you let me have it, or if I take it from you.”

The Mother Bugbear tilted its head like it was contemplating for a scant second before it answered with a roar louder than any it had released, strong enough to shake the ground and make ripples in the water. Rows of grasping teeth undulated and twisted as a lone mandible clutched at the air, the other hanging limply. Wings snapped out of her back and beat the air, accelerating her chitinous bulk arrow-fast.

He stood ready, waiting, his staff steady and low. The Bugbear was close enough for him to see his reflection in her mottled hide when he made his move, gliding to the side fluidly. His weapon swept into a wide arc that dropped directly onto the nape of the Bugbear's neck with a loud snap.

The creature's face hit the dirt and ground, trenching a wide furrow in the barren soil. Her momentum swung her body tumbling end over end as she slipped into an ungainly, bouncing roll for a dozen body-lengths. She slid to a stop against a small outcrop of stone, her jaw lolling obscenely and limbs twitching.

Raj paused, watched, and breathed. The length of wood slipped out of his nerveless fingers and he slumped to the ground. His muscles were twitching and shaking, coming down from the high of combat with a weary grin. Palm pressed against his forehead, he called out “Zecora, it's safe. You can come out now.”

Once again he didn't perceive the Zebra until she was right next to him. She was pressing her side against his shoulder. “The Bugbear mother gave me quite a fright. Raj my friend, are you alright?” He nodded, wisps of a manic grin still on his face. She cocked an eyebrow, an ear flicking, but didn't press. “Very well if you are certain, on this journey, I will close the curtain.” She started to trot over to the hive where a few jars of pungent honey sat, waiting to be collected.

With that done they plunged back into the Everfree.

***

They arrived at Zecora's hut in short order, encountering nothing more threatening than an owl and a few of protruding roots on their way back.

Upon seeing her home the Zebra noticeably relaxed and let out a pleased sigh. She walked to the door and pushed it open with a hoof. As soon as it swung wide a brown blur zoomed out of the hut barking furiously. It skidded to a halt in front of Raj and leaned into his knees, panting and yelping.

He smiled tiredly and knelt down “Hey Banjo.” The chocolate lab started furiously licking his face, tail wagging with enough force to swing his entire rear-end.

Zecora chuckled “He seems to have missed you while we roamed, now let's hope he's not made a mess of my home!” She stepped into the building, gesturing for Raj to follow after her.

The night outside the hut was muggy and hot, but the inside was absolutely stifling. A fire crackled merrily beneath Zecora's cauldron and a morass of green liquid sizzled and roiled at the rim, filling the hut with cloying steam the color of grass. Raj slid a stop under the door to ease away the smothering heat and dropped the knobbed staff against the frame.

Zecora pulled one of the jars from her saddlebag and starts pouring it in the boiling liquid. She spoke around the jar “We will not need to bother the bears anytime soon, there is enough honey here to keep us both safe for many, many moons.”

“That's good to hear. I do not want to fight that thing again.” He settled onto a stool vastly undersized for him and leaned into a wall. His dog set his head on his thigh in an demand for petting.

The last of a jar slumped into the cauldron, turning the boiling jelly into a pool of glittering, jade colored oil. “Indeed, that beast seemed quite tough. My thanks you have, though it is not enough. I have made this trip often my friend, this time though I would have met my end. The one Bugbear I have dealt with on many occasion, but the female was a new part of the equation.” She grabbed a long spoon in her mouth and started stirring the pot.

He frowned lightly “You'd have managed, I'm sure.” He pointed a thumb at the staff next to the door. “You want me to put that back where I found it?”

She eyed the consistency of the brew for a moment before looking up. “Hmm, actually, you may keep it. I haven't had need of it in quite a bit.”

He smiled at her, secretly hoping she would say that. “Thank you Zecora. That thing packs a wallop!”

Zecora chuckled a bit. “Yes, Ironoak is no joke.”

“I guess not. So the repellant will be ready in the morning?”

“A few hours and it will, all it needs is to be still. ”She tilted a bucket of water on the cauldron's base, smothering the flame. “Now then, let me see to your wounds. They are unclean, and must be treated soon.”

“I'm fine. Just need some sleep.” He stood up.

She turned to him “Before you go, there is one thing you should know. A Bugbear's claws are filthy things, an infection they will bring.” She grabbed a small jar off her bench and set it in his hand. “On your wound put this paste and do so with great haste.”

He inspected the little jar, sniffing the contents and finding them suitably foul. “Thanks Zecora.” The Zebra smiled at him warmly and ushered him out of her hut.

He'd long since memorized the path well enough to navigate in the gloomy forest. In a short time, he strode into the small slice of the Everfree he had claimed for himself.

Everything was as he left it, but he made a patrol to be certain. The firepit was cold and black and the laundry on the line was accounted for and stowed. His store of food hung from a net looped over a tree. He lowered it and checked to see if any of the Everfree's creatures had taken to it. It was secure, but he did note that there wasn’t but a little there. He realized that he needed to go foraging the next day.

The camp secure, he then inspected his car. The front end was still crushed, wrapped partially around the trunk of a large tree. He readied himself and popped the trunk, prepared to leap back but was relaxed when nothing emerged. A raccoon nested in there once weeks ago and he had been cautious ever since.

He extracted a bottle of water and downed the entire thing in one, long draught. He cracked another and gave it to his dog, sucking down the other half himself. Until he had the chance, he hadn't realized it'd been hours since he had anything to drink. He replaced them and noted, annoyed, that he would need water as well.

Raj applied some of Zecora's ointment on his multiple scratches, pasting over it with oily leaves he found in a swamp. It felt odd for certain, a sort of cold numbness. He couldn't decide if he liked it or not.

He considered combing his hair, but the grime on his hands and the bandages on his limbs convinced him to just sleep with it in the patka. He promised himself that he would take care of it in the morning, but knew that he was probably lying to himself.

With all of his chores done with, he set out for one last duty. He went far behind his car to a very curious tree. In truth, it was not just one, but two set more than a dozen feet apart, arching towards each other to form a perfect semi-circle half as tall as his sizable frame.

That alone would be curious, but what he found even stranger was that the wood of the trees emitted a faint light, the color of ivory, enough to be seen from a distance. He's wandered across a good portion of the Everfree and he'd seen no other example of this tree anywhere else, only here, near his makeshift camp.

He laid a hand on the bark and found it was still noticeably warm to the touch, slightly warmer than his skin. He remembered when it was blazing hot, too hot to touch with bare skin. It stayed that way for days. He sighed with a mix of relief and frustration that he hadn't missed anything.

The last task seen to, he laid in the backseat of the sedan, pulling his bun of hair to the side so he could lay on his back. Banjo flopped beneath the dashboard, huddled under the deployed cavity that once held an airbag.

In the very faint light, Raj removed the cap on a marker and drew a slash on the ceiling next to a forest of others. His sleepy mind occupied itself counting them, and the last thought that floated through his fatigued brain was that today was the four month anniversary of his entrapment in Equestria.

Want to Do

“Ah'm gonna kill him!” Hissed Applejack “Ah'm gonna wrap mah hooves 'round his neck and throttle 'im good!”

Granny Smith rolled her eyes “Be a shame if ya made Macintosh waste all that time at the boiler 'n hosing him off.” The elderly pony humored her grand-daughter while she mixed up a sticky poultice.

The younger pony stomped around the kitchen, grumbling to herself and flicking her tail in agitation. “Ah told him Granny! Ah told him straight to his weird, flat face! Ah told him that we all care about him, that he was a part of this family, 'n the first thing he does is go 'n, go 'n, gah!” She stomped a hoof “Ah'm so mad ah can't even talk straight!”

“Yer Daddy'd get like that when his temper was gettin' the better of him too.” She said bluntly.

Applejack stiffened and shot her grandmother a withering glance that the elderly pony flagrantly ignored. She paced a frustrated circle around the kitchen table and said “Danged fool of a miserable so-'n-so.”

“Ya dragged him to the barn and got him sorted fine Applejack, there's nothin' doin' anymore for tonight.” crowed Granny Smith “Just go to bed 'n worry 'bout it in the mornin'. You'll be in better sorts fer it too.”

Applejack ground her teeth. “Nothin' doin', yeah right. Ah should march out to that barn right now 'n truss him up proper. Maybe then he'd keep his fool ass in one place!”

“You'll do no such thing child, and watch yer language.” admonished Granny, a harsh scowl creasing her brow.

“And why shouldn't ah Granny? When Winona's leg got hurt we had to put that cone 'round her neck. Ah see it as the same thing.”

“Winona's a dog Applejack, she don't know no better.”

Applejack leaned against the table. “Ah've seen more sense from Winona than ah have from Rajrishi, 'specially these last few days.”

“Applejack!” scolded Granny Smith “I will not have you insulting a guest of this house, not on my watch.”

Feeling embarrassed, Applejack slid away from her Grandmother. “Ah know Granny, and ah'm sorry but, well, ah don't think ah can do this no more.” she settled her face in her hooves, staring at the candle sitting in the middle of the table. “Ah can't just watch him kill himself and do nothin'.”

“Rajrishi's gonna do what he needs to. Ya can't force that.” explained Granny as she added a layer of crushed herbs to her poultice.

Applejack leaned back and looked at the ceiling. “Ah just wish ah knew why he was doin' it. What it was all for, then maybe ah wouldn't feel this way.” She swung forward and brought her hooves down on the tabletop and almost shouted “But he won't, 'cause he's a lowdown, secretive cuss that don't give one wit about nopony but himself!”

Granny Smith looked at her granddaughter for a long minute after that. “Can ya really not see it sugarcube? The weight he's carrying?”

Applejack shook her head “No Granny, what do ya mean? Are ya talking about how he always looks so down after coming home?”

Granny Smith stepped away “Child, whenever that boy walks through those doors, he doesn't just look down, he looks lost. That's the same look you were wearin' when your folks died and-” She paused for a second, taking a breath. “-and its the same one I wore for years when mah Jonagold was taken from me.”

Applejack was taken aback. Granny Smith hardly ever spoke about her late husband and almost never to her. Even mentioning him in passing was considered rude in the Apple house. “Granny, you don't have to-”

She held up a hoof “Lemme finish Applejack. For a long time afterward, ah didn't feel right, like something was missing. Ah still feel that way as a matter of fact, ah just got used to it.” She pressed a hoof to her chest “That feller is carrying something just as heavy, a deathly kinda heavy. Him not sharing it is a kindness.”

“Granny ah... ah...” Applejack trailed off, not knowing what to say.

The argument was interrupted by a deep clearing of a throat. Both mares turned to see Big Macintosh standing in the door-frame leading outside.

He rumbled “He's up.”

* * *

Raj dragged the damaged lump of his shirt up the washboard, peeling dirt and mud from it. The washtub was pure brown, a few errant clumps of dirt and vegetable matter bobbing on the surface. Grumbling, he snapped out his shirt and hung it in the barn with the rest of his still filthy clothes.

The side door rattled open and Applejack stepped in, a tray and a bowl balanced on her back.

“Hey.” she said.

“Hey” he said back.

She set her load on a barrel. “Ah, uh, brought some soup for ya, and this here is some salve Granny whipped up for your Brander Ant stings.” She lifted up the bowl and hoofed it to him.

“Great, these things are still pretty tender.” He scooped a bit up and slathered it over the grape sized swells clustered over his hip. He paused a few seconds and asked “Is it supposed to burn?”

Applejack cocked her head “Ah don't think so.”

“Because it is, burning I mean.” He looked worriedly at his side.

Applejack inspected the swollen bumps. Each one was large and weeping with an angry red color glowering out of them. She mulled them over and said “Ah'm sure it's fine.”

“Yeah, probably is.” He turned back to his washtub and started working on his pants.

“How'd you get bit up anyway?”

“Passed out on an anthill. They took exception to that.”

“Why's you go and do something like that?'

Raj shrugged “Looked comfortable at the time.” He gave a chuckle that drifted into a series of throaty coughs.

She gave him a second to settle himself and asked “You okay?”

Raj wiped a line of spittle from his chin and answered “Oh most definitely not. Did you hear that cough? There's something wrong in there. Something's loose or too tight, can't tell.”

Applejack shot him a level look “Ah'm being serious here Rajrishi.”

“I know.” He gave her a light smile and ran his pants down the washboard again. “And I am not.

Applejack stomped a hoof “Well, ya should be Rajrishi. We're tired of you dragging your sorry self in here everyday, all banged up and torn apart, and expecting us to put you back together again.”

“It hasn't really been a picnic for me either Applejack.”

“Then why are you doing it, that's what I don't understand. Ah've never met nopony with such a deathwish that they'd go into the Everfree like that. Ah got half a mind to have ya committed.”

Raj swallowed a harsh retort and replied “I'm not doing it because I want to Applejack, I'm doing it because I have to.”

“Why? Who's making you?” She pleaded “Ah haven't seen anypony pushing you, far as I know you don't talk to anyone.”

“Nobody is forcing me, but I still have to. I'm trying to go home.”

She shot him an exasperated look “Then go home! Heck, ah'll buy you a train ticket.”

Raj shook his head and huffed “You are not even close, you don't even know.”

She stepped closer, leaning in and imploring “Then help me to understand, explain it to me.”

He replied flatly “I have a son Applejack.”

Applejack's eyes widened. “W-what?”

“I have a son, a house, a job, a wife, and a family. I have a car payment, I have a mortgage, and I have college to save for. I have duties, things I have to do, things I need to do Applejack.”

“Well, what're ya doing here?”

Raj sighed “Trying to get back to all that. As far as I know, my only way home is somewhere in the Everfree.”

She stuttered “Ah, ah'm sorry, ah didn't know.”

“And now you do. Does it make you feel better?” He asked.

Applejack shivered and whispered back. “No.”

Raj smiled wryly and scoffed “You're welcome.”

They sat there in tense silence for a good long while, the only noise the scraping of clothes on a washboard.

After a long span of thought Applejack's face screwed up in confusion. “Wait, something ah don't understand.”

Raj sighed, exasperated. “What?”

“You got people you love, and they love you back, right?”

“Of course they do.”

“And you're still killing yourself?” Her eyebrow raised “That don't make sense.”

“You don't know what you're talking about.”

“Yeah, ah do.” She stomped her front hooves “Anypony who loves somepony wouldn't want 'em to go through what your going through, much less for so long.”

“Shutup Applejack.”

“There ain't no reason to be working yourself so hard you get pneumonia. There ain't no reason to be lettin' yourself be attacked by all kindsa monsters and whatnot, 'specially if you got people countin' on you back home.”

“Shutup Applejack.”

“Trust me Rajrishi, ah know what it's like to think you should suffer for your family, and ah'm here to tell you that you don't.”

“SHUTUP APPLEJACK!” Raj shot up, spilling his washtub and throwing brown water across the barn floor. He leaned down, getting his face within a hand-span of Applejack's. When he spoke, his voice was an acid hiss. “You do not know me, you do not know my situation. Now shut. Your. Mouth.”

Applejack met his gaze with steely resolve and puffed out her chest before talking back. “Nopony would want someone to be as miserable as you are. If'n this family of yers does then, then, well, they ain't worth a damn!”

He uncoiled an arm and the barn was filled with a sharp crack as her brown stetson went flying off to the corner.

Applejack's head snapped into a turn, a fierce red hand-print glowing her cheek. She lifted a hoof and pressed against it lightly. She stammered “Y-you slapped me.”

Raj's scowl receded a bit and his eyes softened “Applejack, I...”

“You SONOVABITCH!” she snarled and pounced, driving her whole body into his chest.

Raj was bowled over, tumbling to the hay-strewn floor. Applejack straddled his chest and started raining blows down on his prone form, screaming madly “You no-good, consarned, worthless horseapple!”

“Get off, get off!” Raj blocked, wincing as strikes smacked against his forearms. He caught one of her hooves in a hand and twisted the limb to block her other swings. Now free from attack, he looped an arm down and hooked a fist into her barrel, knocking her off with a pained grunt.

He rolled onto his front, wheezing with effort. Applejack scrambled to her hooves and charged a headbutt into his shoulder, forcing him back over. He saw Applejack rearing up to stomp on his chest and lashed out, catching her back legs with his hand and swept them out from underneath her. She pitched to the side and her head struck the floor with a solid crack.

Raj staggered to his feet as Applejack laid on the floor, moaning and clutching her head. Raj caught his breath and opened to mouth to say something but was cut off when Applejack uncoiled into an upwards aimed buck, a single hoof catching him in the pelvis hard enough to put him in the air.

He sailed into a pile of hay bales and crashed onto them. As soon as he had the faculties to do so he clutched at the swelling spot below his navel and groaned in pain.

They laid there like that, clutching their respective injuries, for several minutes before Applejack unsteadily rose to her hooves. She shook her head to clear the dizziness from it and squared herself against Rajrishi. She saw his unready form on the hay and her posture sunk. She drawled “Rajrishi, the hell we doin'?”

Raj took a second to formulate an answer before saying “I 'unno.”

“Me neither.” Applejack slowly clopped over and dropped down onto the unorganized hay bales, staring upwards as well.

For a long while they stared at the cobweb lined roof of the barn and through the loft door at the faint glow of the new sun staining the sky.

Raj shifted, the hay scratching his bare skin. He asked “Applejack?”

“What?”

“Sorry I hit you.”

She snorted “Don't be. You hit like a filly.”

“Yeah.” His hand drifted to the hot bruise on his gut “You don't.”

They shared a few seconds of mutual laughter before drifting into silence again.

“Rajrishi?”

“Yeah?”

She turned to face him “Earlier, ya said that you've been doin' stuff that ya have to do, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, what do ya want to do?”

He looked at her “What?”

She rolled to her hooves and stood up. “C'mon. If you could do anything you wanted right now, not something ya have to do, not something you need to do, just something ya wanna do, what would it be?”

Raj's head flopped back against the hay and he stared at the dusty air slowly drifting down onto him before saying “A bath.”

Applejack cocked her head “A bath?”

“Yeah, a bath.” He confirmed “None of this cloth wipedown crap I've been doing for the last week. A real bath.”

“With fancy soaps and things?”

Raj sat up “Yeah, and a scrubber that not too rough and not too soft, with hot water enough that I can soak for hours. And shampoo, something scented, citrus. Or maybe pomegranate.”

Applejack smiled “Anything else?”

He nodded, a tired grin coming to his face “Yeah. A fine file, something to get these burrs off my nails. And a towel, a big fluffy one. Heated, heated enough that I can barely tell I'm out of the water.”

Applejack laughed as she slipped her hat back on “Well, ah might not be able to help with everything, but ah reckon ah can help with this. Let's rustle you up a bath partner.”

Author's Note

I promise the next one will have significantly less of Raj and Applejack yelling at each other.

A Ridiculous Interlude About Stones and Houses

Rajrishi was sitting in the kitchen the next morning, eating a lump of bread when Twilight trotted in and set a small pebble on the table. “I want you to carry this stone with you today.”

Raj looked down at the rock and asked “Why?”

“It's for an experiment.”

He poked it “Is the rock dangerous?”

“No.”

“What will carrying it accomplish?”

She frowned “Like I said, it's for an experiment. It'll give me valuable research data.”

“So this is a special rock.”

“Yes, well, no. It's a normal rock.”

Raj smiled “So if I replaced it with another rock while you were gone, would you notice?”

“Yes, I would. Don't do that.” she replied, shaking her head.

“So what makes this rock different?”

Twilight sighed “Look, it's magic. Alright, the rock is magic. Now will you please carry it with you today?”

They heard the click of claws on tile and Spike waddled in holding a basket of towels and sheets. He set it down and looked at the pair. “Hey guys, what's up?”

“Twilight's giving me this awesome magic rock.” He held the stone up.

“What? Twilight, why does he get a magic rock and I don't?”

“What?” Twilight scoffed “That's ridiculous, it's just-”

“It's because she likes me more than you Spike. It's a symbol of our everlasting friendship.” he interrupted with a slight smirk.

“NO! Spike that is not true, alright? Rajrishi is just being a jerk. The rock is for research, it's not even a gift. I'm taking it back at the end of the day.”

“What?” Raj said indignantly. “Well, if that's the case I don't even want it.” He tossed it on the table.

“Hey, if Raj doesn't want it, can I have the magic rock?” Spike reached up on the table for it.

Twilight wrapped it in her horngrip and pulled it out of his reach. “Spike, no, this is a research tool for Rajrishi. I'm trying to learn about what humans can do.”

Spike gave her a tired look “I'm pretty sure he can carry a rock around. I could've told you that.”

“Seriously Twilight,” Raj added “if you wanted to test something, test this weird, heightened strength I have.”

Twilight looked at him in surprise “Really? You've gotten stronger?”

“Yeah, check it out.” Raj grabbed the edge of the table in one hand and curled, lifting the entire piece of furniture while keeping it fairly level. “See? This isn't even hard.”

“Cool!” squealed Spike as he hopped up on the table, only wavering it slightly with his added weight “I bet Big Mac isn't even this strong.” Raj dropped the table with a clatter and Spike hit it with a grunt.

Twilight stared at the display “That... that is very impressive and I would love to know more about it, but no. Today is the rock test. We'll worry about that later.”

“What is the rock test? You haven't told me yet.”

“It's supposed to be a blind-test so I get the purest results possible, okay? I can't tell you.”

Raj pointed at the stone “If you don't tell me, I'm going to throw this thing in a ditch as soon as you leave.”

Twilight gave him a long, venomous glare before yelling “Ugh! Fine! When we were in the Everfree I noticed that I had a hard time levitating you when you were unconscious and every scan I did on you came back fuzzy. I originally hypothesized that there was some lingering effect of that Arch being nearby, but on further tests I received the same result. This led me to believe that you, and possibly all humans but I can't determine that from such a small sample size, might have an in-built resistance to aethyric fields. So I put a low-level enchantment on a pair of stones and I want to see if yours degrades any faster than the control stone. There, happy?”

Raj looked at her for a second and started nodding “Alright, that makes sense. Don't know why you didn't tell me that at the start.” He grabbed the rock and tucked it in a pocket. “There, good and secure.”

Twilight let out a breath and lowered her head “Great, thank you.”

He held up a finger “One more question though.”

Twilight snapped her head up, eye twitching in frustration “No more questions!” her horn burned and she disappeared in a burst of light.

Raj leaned back in his chair, blinking rapidly to dispel the spots swimming in his vision. He smiles “Ha, that was fun.”

“What was?” Spike asked, still sitting on the table.

“Screwing with Twilight. So,” He took another bite of bread “what're you up to today?”

“Going gem digging out at the flats. My supply is getting kinda low. I'm hoping to get enough for a big gem pie.”

Raj raised an eyebrow “You eat gems?”

“Yeah, I'm a dragon Raj. I mean, I like hay and other stuff as much as the next guy, but there's nothing like a well aged ruby or sapphire to munch on.” Spike licked his lips at the thought.

“I can only imagine.” he said, laughing a little bit at the dragon's dreamy expression.

“What about you Raj? What do you have on the docket?”

“Today? Well, I plan on carrying a rock around all day. Other than that, nothing.” he said with a smile.

Spike cocked his head “Really? That's boring.”

“Hey, before today, my daily routing consisted of finding enough food to not die and fighting whatever monster wandered into my path. I'm happy that boredom is my biggest problem right now.”

“But that's lame!” said Spike as he stood on the table “You should go out and do something! Go on a hike, fly a kite, have a picnic. At least do something constructive, don't just waste your time.”

Raj furrowed his brow “Okay smart guy, like what?”

Spike looked away, tapping his chin in thought “Well, you said you were really strong now right, since you came to Equestria?”

“Yeah. Started just after I got here and I've been getting stronger since.”

“Well, you wanna find out just how strong you are?” He said with a close grin.

“Maybe,” he set the bread down “what did you have in mind?”

* * *

“Mush!” shouted spike from the window “C'mon Raj, put your back into it.”

“I -hngg- do not appreciate -hurgg- this.” he replied, straining against the ropes attaching him to the abandoned house. With each grunt, the building rattled along the ground, shaking violently.

Spike leaned against the frame of the window. “C'mon Raj, we're doing a good thing. This building needed demolished, and you needed to see how strong you are. It's a win-win!”

“For -hnng- you -phhuu- you little prick.”

“What was that slave? For that, you must pull faster. Hiyah! Hiyah!” He swung the end of his rope, lightly lashing at Rajrishi's sweaty back.

In truth, Raj wasn't annoyed. He was still amazed that he actually managed to drag a house of any size. At the time, he didn't believe that Macintosh managed this before, but after the first two hundred yards, he was starting to believe.

On his next pull, the whole building shuddered and leaned dangerously. Spike flopped from his perch, landing precariously on the cracked boards of the upper floor. He bound back up to the window and shouted down “Hey, easy Raj. We're losing foundation here.”

He turned around “Not a lot I can do about that Spike. It's a house, I can't really move it gently.”

“Whatever. This is far enough, I guess.” he hopped down from the window and drew out a scroll, reciting “Can Rajrishi drag a house? Checkmark for yes.”

“Good, I'm pretty beat.” Raj shrugged off his makeshift yoke and leaned onto his knees. “How far was that anyway?”

“A little less than a mile, I think. Good job.” He looked up at the derelict building, his eyes narrowed. “I can see why Hammer Strike wanted this thing gone. It's a hunk of junk.” He kicked the door-frame, sending the actual door crashing to the ground.

“Heavy junk. Now what?”

“Well, I told him I would get rid of the house and clear the debris, so I figure we'll do that.”

“How?”

“I was gonna burn it.” he spit a small line of fire out experimentally. “No reason to make this complex.”

Raj looked at him evenly “No.”

“What? Why not? We're in the middle of a stone field, nopony's going to get hurt.” He gestured at the empty space around them.

“I don't care. I'm not letting you set another thing on fire.”

“Yeah Spike, why would you wanna burn down a nice old house like this?” Came a voice from the open door.

“Jesus-horse-christ!” cried Rajrishi as he jumped away from the sudden voice.

A puff of pink hair poked out of the yawning entrance. “I mean, it's not in the best of shape. But knock out some drywall, replace some of this woodwork, and you're almost there.” The pink hair proved to belong to an equally pink pony, somewhat pudgier pony. The vibrant color of her coat and mane only broken up by her brilliantly blue eyes. She continued “I mean, the location ain't great, buuuuuut...”

“How long were you in there?” Raj asked “I've been dragging that house for more than an hour.”

“Ohh, that's what was happening. I saw the drag marks and figured 'hey, that house must be running away from home' which seemed silly to me because a house is a home, and you can't really run away from yourself. I thought that maybe it was just depressed, so I chased after it to bring it some cupcakes to try and cheer it up! But I couldn't find it's mouth, so I just mushed them into the fireplace and made munchy sounds.” she worked her jaw, giving an example of the noises she made for her own amusement. “I didn't think it was working, but then the house stopped running, so I thought it worked! But then I heard you and Spike talking and realized you were dragging it, so I came out here and told you this story.”

Raj looked sideways at Spike “This thing has a fireplace?”

Spike shrugged “Had a fireplace. I'm pretty sure that fell off a while back.”

Rajrishi shrugged “Well, that was an enchanting story Miss...”

“I'm Pinkie Pie, or Pinkamena Diane Pie if you're fancy.” she replied with a little hop.

“Alright, well I'm-”

Pinkie zipped forward faster than thought, pressing her hoof right up against his face “You're Rajrishi the human, you live in the woods and have really long hair! Applejack told me about you, she said you're a pretty cool guy. You fight dogs and doesn't afraid of anything!”

Raj stared back at her, somewhat alarmed, and managed to reply “M-most of that is true. And... you got my name right. Most people don't do that the first time.” he pointed a thumb at Spike “This one still can't get it right.”

“Rajaplongee.”

“I will flick your ridges lizard.”

“Try it monkey-boy.”

“Hee-hee,” Pinkie laughed and sat “you guys are funny. But Applejack told me you were going back home, and I was super sad that I didn't get to meet you, but now you're here!” She danced happily before going stock still “Unless... something went wrong! Oh my gosh dis something happen, are you okay? Was your home destroyed and now you're here to avenge it? Was it this house that did it?” She slapped a hoof against the side of the building “Stupid, mean old house!”

Raj blinked “Um... no, none of that. I just... I wasn't able to get home. It's... complicated. I don't know if I can explain it particularly well.”

“Rajrishi's an alien.” Spike blurted “Twilight is helping him figure out how he got here and how he can get home.”

“Spike!” Raj shouted.

“What? You said you couldn't explain it, I could. It wasn't hard.”

“Ohmygosh, you're an alien. That is the coolest!” She hopped up on his shoulders, hoofing around on his scalp “Where're your antennae? Do you have two more arms hidden somewhere? Where do you keep your magic screwdriver? Are you really a lizard under this brown skin? How many parsecs away did you come from? Oooo, does the butt of your ship glow?”

“PINKIE!” Raj shouted, pulling the pink pony off of his head.

The energetic pony twisted out of his grasp and zipped to the ground “When you got here, were you all like 'bleep blorp',” she stood on her hindlegs, eyes blank and forelegs rigid “take me to your leader, you are not alone, you are not alone.” she flopped down “or something like that?”

He stared at her blankly for a moment before his face split into a wide grin “Holy, where did all that come from?” He laughed “No, nothing like that. I was pretty much just confused and scared for weeks.”

“Awww,” her hair drooped “but that's not fun at all. That's just really sad.”

“It's fine, I'm over it. But, thank you.” he smiled. “But try and keep me being an alien on the down-low. In fact, don't even tell anyone I'm here. I don't want to cause a stir

“Okay, Pinkie Promise.” she went through the series of motions with her hoof and then brightened immediately “So what are you guys doing now?” she asked.

“Raj here says that he's gotten stronger since coming to Equestria, and we're trying to find out exactly how strong he is by having him do stuff.”

“Like stealing houses?” she asked.

“Hey, we're not stealing, we're relocating. A construction pony wanted it gone, I volunteered Raj's services. For a, um, modest fee of course.”

“That I knew nothing about.” added Rajrishi with a short scowl.

“I was gonna share.” Spike protested.

Pinkie giggled at the pair's small argument “Well, if you guys are done running away with a building, I have an idea for something he could try. I'll warn you though, you'd have to be really strong to do it!”

Raj looked at Spike who nodded. Raj answered “Sure, I'm game. What do you have?”

* * *

Hour later, Rajrishi was regretting those words.

“Can Rajrishi drag a house? Big check. Can Rajrishi move Big Igneous, the biggest rock in Ponyville?” Spike pressed his quill to his lip and thought for a moment “Half a checkmark.”

“That one was fun!” snorted Pinkie as she hopped along with them “I can't believe he did it.”

“Well, he didn't really. He just sorta wobbled it.”

“But he tried really hard!”

“I guess so.” he turned back to his list “Can Rajrishi lift a river? That's a big X. I still don't know how you did that.” he said, giving Pinkie a questioning look.

“It's easy once you know the trick.”

“Can you two please shutup.” Rajrishi groused as he ambled along back to the library. He was in a stooped hunch, almost all of his muscles screaming in agony at him from the day's exertions. Pinkie and Spike's nonstop chatter was not helping his sour mood.

“Well, okay, but only because you said please.” She hopped in front of him, springing backwards along the path with a big smile on her face. Raj eyed her suspiciously, but continued on in grateful silence.

The library was littered with books of all stripe when he trudged inside, Twilight Sparkle sitting in the middle of a sea of text. She perked up at his entrance “Rajrishi, glad you're back. I have some more research questions for you.”

“And that's my queue. Bye Rajrishi, bye Twilight, bye Spike.” She zipped away, a moment later re-appearing with a rapid wobble “Hi Rajrishi, hi Twilight, hi Spike. I forgot to say, when you want to be on the up-high, let me know so I can throw you a super-awesome-Pinkieriffic party! Alright, bye Rajrishi, bye Twilight, bye Spike.” She then disappeared again, leaving a pony shaped cloud of dust.

Spike walked through the cloud “Well, I'm getting something to eat. I'm starved.” he plodded into the kitchen.

“So, you were with Pinkie today. How was that?” She asked a little cautiously.

“Fine, a little tiring, but fine.” he answered back, settling into a chair vastly undersized for him.

“Really?” she asked, eyebrow raised “She wasn't... confusing? Baffling even?”

He shrugged “No more so than the rest of Equestria. I come from somewhere with no magic, no talking animals, and no wandering monsters Twilight. I see stuff that is completely unexplainable and ridiculous every single day.”

“Ah, I hadn't thought of it along those line. Interesting. Well, hopefully these should make up the gap in your understanding.” she levitated a stack of books over to him and set them at his feet. “There, an abridged series of historical texts, cultural theses, as well as notes on magical theory, biology, and geography. That should go a long way to bridging the gap in our frames of reference.”

Raj grabbed one of the books by the spine and flipped it open “Awesome, this'll be great Twilight.” he said, meaning every word “One problem though.” he scanned a random page “I can't read this.”

She cocked her head “What?”

“This, the text here. I can't read it.”

Twilight's eyes widened, her jaw going slack “Rajrishi, are you telling me that you're illiterate?”

He shrugged “Yeah, I guess so.”

Twilight's pupils shrank to pinpricks and she started breathing heavy “But... can't read... why...”

Raj leaned forward “Pony script, I can't read pony script Twilight! I can read my own language just fine.”

“What?” her breathing began to level off.

“I can read fine. It's just pony writing. I think ponies use a different alphabet, so I can speak the language but I can't read it. Okay, I'll learn, I promise, I'll learn.”

Her breathing even out and her pupils dilated “That's... that's fine. Wow, I don't,” she put a hoof to her temple “I don't know what that was.”

He put his hands on the table “You looked like you were having a panic attack.”

“I... maybe a small one. Just, the idea of a person achieving adulthood without knowing... I don't know. I just don't like that idea.” She shook her head “I need to distract myself. Give me that rock from this morning.”

Raj fished the pebble out of his pocket and flicked it to her, eager for the chance to distract the scholar. She caught it in her horngrip and focused another spell into the stone. Any leftover anxiety on her face melted in the face of sudden triumph. “Eureka! We have progress!”

“Why, what is it?”

“The spell I put on this stone is gone, not even a trace!” She said with a swell of academic pride.

“Is, is that a good thing? What does that mean?”

“That means I was right. Humans, or at least you, exude some sort of aura that active erodes enchantment. This stone has no magic on it, the control stone has only degraded .84% over the course of the day. That means that a human's aura is at least one-hundred and nineteen times as degrading as typical background aethyric interference.”

“Alright, so what does that mean?”

“What that means, Rajrishi, is that I finally have proof positive that you are not of Equestria. Nothing else can do this, nothing in the wide, wide world of Equestria. At the absolute least, you are an entirely unique species. This even explains how you survived the Naga. Their venom has a magical component, it adapt to the creature that is exposed to it and turns itself into a uniquely tailored poison vector. If you degrade enchantment, then you would have a natural resistance to that effect. It's a fascinating defense mechanism!”

Raj crossed his arms “I'm glad you have something for your next journal Twilight, but how does this help me get home?”

Twilight pouted at him a moment “Fine. This lets me know that there is a connection between our worlds, something we share.”

His eyebrow cocked “Buh?”

“Think about it: if there's no magic in your world, then why would you have a natural resistance to active enchantment? If humans have no exposure to magic, then why would the ambient energy of Equestria cause you to get stronger? The fact that you have clearly had a reaction to the mere presence of something that, by your admission, you have never had exposure to, that means that there is some aspect of Equinity and Humanity that are known to each other. If I can find out what that is, maybe I can use it to get you home.”

Raj stared at her, a little stunned “That's... okay that actually makes a lot of sense. I'm sorry for doubting you Twilight.”

She smiled “No big deal. You're frustrated, I don't blame you for wanting to think of everything in the context of if it can help you get back home. But this is an incredible learning opportunity for the both of us, one we can't squander. And speaking of learning opportunities...” Her horn sparked and a wide chalkboard flew from a nearby closet, along with it a few notebooks and a pencil that slapped down in front of Rajrishi.

She floated a piece of chalk to the board and scratched a simple mark there “Lesson one. This is the letter 'A'. It makes an 'ah' sound.”

“Can I go back to trying to lift the river?”

Author's Note

I think I might have aged myself a bit with some of those references, but I think they're funny.

A Gentlemanly Disagreement

The sheer number of ponies that were there is what surprised Raj the most.

They were everywhere, swarming all over the place and jockeying for the best spot to watch. Pegasi buzzed the air and tables were being stacked the form makeshift bleachers. Ponies leaned off the deck of the Break of Day and pressed their faces against the glass of its windows, all eager for the fight to start. It was a struggle for him to shoulder his way to the arena itself.

Blueblood eyed him up and grinned “Captain! So good to see you again, I was concerned you wouldn't show.” He gestured at the ancient pegasus. “You already know Marshal Coltumbus. He'll be overseeing our contest, making sure nopony cheats or breaks the rules.” He smirked at him, the implied meaning rather clear.

“Aye, this will be my hundred and fifty-fifth overseeing.” The old stallion croaked.

“I'm honored, really. Just, super-psyched about having to deal with you again.” Raj said, no sincerity in his voice.

Coltumbus glared and spat on the stone. “You ought to be you ingrate.”

“I'll take that under advisement. Can we just get this started?” He said back.

“Been waitin' on you ape.” Coltumbus let out a shrill whistle that quelled the din of sound filling the space. He cleared his throat and spoke as loudly as he could. “The seconds have failed to arrive at a peaceful accord and now these two must do battle to settle their differences. Shake hooves and proceed to your marks.”

The two stepped forward and extended their respective limbs. Blueblood smiled and said through his teeth. “I look forward to burning that uniform off of you Captain.”

Raj grunted and said back “Gonna make you ugly.”

Blueblood scoffed at him and nodded to Coltumbus before heading to his starting position. Ponies all around murmured to each other quietly, the excitement practically charging the air. A group of six unicorns flared their horns and lit the rectangular barrier blocking them off from the crowd.

Coltumbus bellowed out “Fighters, may fortune favor you both. Begin!”

Raj was expecting a countdown, so he was a hair sluggish bounding to the side. Nevertheless, he was a good meter away when his starting block essentially exploded under a withering barrage of spells. Raj hit the ground and kept moving, keeping an eye on Blueblood as he went.

The unicorn let out a cry of jubilation “On the run already Captain?” He channeled more energy into his horn and fired a blazing beam of fire that chased after him, raking the shield and the wall with a burning line. Raj ducked low under the beam and came up with a chair in each hand. He stepped into a spin and launched one at his opponent only for it to bounce off a blue dome that sprang up in an instant.

Blueblood barked out a laugh and fired a heavy wad of magic. Raj lifted the other chair to block it but as soon as it made contact the ball burst with a sharp crack and burst of magenta smoke. The chair broke apart and he staggered back from the force of it. Before he could recover, another blast was on its way.

There wasn't time enough to recover his balance so he didn't try, instead letting his legs go out underneath him. He hit the ground and he saw the ball of power fly over him to splash off the barrier surrounding them. Raj went into a roll under a table and kicked at it, flipping the table up to provide him some cover.

He staggered to his feet behind the wooden barrier and pressed his back against it, trying to take a moment to get his bearings. Blueblood cried out to him “Ha... Captain. First blood goes to me it seems. Ready to admit defeat?”

Raj peeked around the corner of the table at his opponent. “I'm not bleeding you ass.”

Blueblood sneered. “Let's fix that then.” His horn lit and several long, flat blades slid out of the pleats of his jacket. With a pulse of magic they started to spin, letting off little whines as they chopped the air. Grinning victoriously, the trio of razors flew in an arc around Raj's cover.

Spitting out a short curse, Raj dropped to the ground. The blades thumped into the heavy wood, gouging it deeply. The knives wobbled in Blueblood's horngrip, but were stuck in the wood. Raj was thankful for that, it gave him a moment to breath and to get a look at these things.

His first thought upon laying eyes on them was that they were not meant to be handled by anything but magic. There was no handle of any kind, just another long blade facing the opposite direction with a large stud of gem directly in the middle. They reminded Raj of a blender or a weed-whacker, something designed to spin and shred apart anything it touched.

Raj was bounding away a second before the knives were pulled free. The instant they were free of the wood they were spinning and zipping back towards him.

A murmur went up in the crowd, most of the ponies wondering what was happening. A few grabbed old rulebooks and started leafing through them to find out if the maneuver Blueblood was trying was legal. Feeling a little more proactive, Rarity blustered her way through the crowd to Coltumbus himself. She stomped a hoof to get his attention and lifted her head, projecting confidence. “Marshal, end this at once. Prince Blueblood is cheating as we speak.”

Without turning his head, Coltumbus answered back. “How so girl?”

“Article 8 of the code duello states that no outside weaponry is permitted in a contest of honor between two ponies. As this is a Unicornian duel, all provisions of the code duello apply. As Captain Rajrishi's second, I demand proper procedure.”

Coltumbus watched the duel for a few more seconds, the whirling razors buzzing and swooping at Rajrishi as he desperately evaded. He sighed and said back. “The art of the lift-blade is an ancient form of contest, even in Unicornia. As stated by King Luster, the use of lift-blades in a duel will always be legal. Always, you understand?” He flicked his eyes over at her for a moment. “Your monkey coltfriend is an idiot, and he's about to be a bloody one at that. If you were any kind of second you'd surrender for him while he's still intact.”

Rarity blanched and stepped back. Simpering, she turned her attention back to the duel.

The trio of knives sailed in at Raj again and he sprang to the side. He tracked them, knowing that the things didn't corner well at full speed. The blades arced high, leaking light from their focusing gems and came down on his new position. Raj hit the ground and hopped again, heading towards one of the forcefield walls with plenty of time to spare.

Then, something unexpected happened. The blades sparked off the granite floor and bounced, coming up at him at an unexpected angle. Luck was on his side, the aim was bad from the ricochet. One zipped past him with no contact, another glanced his leg and gave him a narrow gash. The last one sliced into the his bicep, passing through the flesh easily and leaving a flap skin and meat hanging.

The crowd let out a collective hiss at the sight, a few excusing themselves at the sight and smell of blood. Raj cried out in pain but kept moving, already anticipating the followup attack.

Showing no mercy, Blueblood looped his blades around again. Raj kicked up a chair and swung it at the group of knives, warding the things back. Blueblood took them on the defensive, darting in to strike frequently in an attempt to wear him down.

Inspiration hit and Raj swung hard, scattering the blades before leaping backwards. He hit the ground running and started for the opposite end of the arena, far from Blueblood. The stallion grinned and spun up his blades to pursue.

Raj vaulted a table and spun, hurling the chair for all he was worth. The piece of furniture passed through the mass of blades without hitting any of them and soared across the space. So focused was Blueblood on controlling his blades, he didn't even realize the chair was heading for him.

It wasn't so well aimed a throw it hit him directly, it was much too short for that. Instead it hit the ground and bounced low, giving Blueblood just enough warning to cry out before it swept his legs out from underneath him and sent him into a faceplant on the floor. His concentration thoroughly broken, the glow around his blades faded. They dropped sharply and clattered to the floor, sliding to a stop at Raj's feet.

With no hesitation, he lifted a boot and stomped on one of the channeling gems at the center of the blade, grinding it to dust under his hard sole. He lifted his foot and stomped again and again, destroying all the enchanted stones.

Blueblood shook his head and groaned, rubbing the tender spot on his face where he landed. He could feel a bruise forming already and a part of his mind was trying to come up with ways to hide it. He shook that from his head and glanced around before firing up his horn and reaching out to hook on his lift-blades. To his surprise, he was unable to grab hold of them. He tried again and got the same result.

Something bounced off the wall-barrier to his right and he yelped, bringing up a dome shield on instinct. He saw what had done it, Raj standing a good twenty yards away between a pair of tables. He cocked an arm back and threw something else. Blueblood deftly snagged it out of the air with his magic and inspected it.

It was one of his lift-blades, broken and ruined. The gem was shattered out of its housing and ash filled the rune-channels, there was nothing left of it but a chunk of metal. He looked at Rajrishi with disbelief. “You... you animal! You broke them! Do you have any idea how much these cost?”

Raj's only answer was a wordless roar as he broke into a charge, arms up to protect his face. Blueblood braced himself and lit his horn, assembling the components of a dozen spells in his mind.

Blueblood launched all at once, a flurry of magic missiles flying alongside explosive orbs and streaks of heat. Most hit their mark but had little effect. His initial barrage and almost five minutes of bladeponyship had left him drained. Raj just hunched his shoulders and kept moving through the barrage, soaking fire with every step and not slowing down in the slightest.

When he was three strides away, Blueblood cut his spells and erected a dome of force, panic giving his spell speed. Raj reached him at a full sprint, a black fist reared back. With a scream of effort he punched the forcefield with everything he had.

With a sound like a peal of thunder, Prince Blueblood's shield exploded with enough force to scrape the polish off the floor. Shards of force flew backwards in a spray, tinkling off the walls and each other as they faded into ephemeral nothingness. Blueblood himself went flying back and smacked into the barrier blocking them in, sliding to the floor with a groan.

Raj fell to his knees and clutched at his arm, breath coming in hard gulps. He either felt sore or actively in pain from the many hits he'd taken. The suit Rarity had made for him was in tatters and somewhere along the line his turban had been ripped off, leaving his hair askew.

The barriers came down to a smattering of applause from the crowd. The seconds rushed out to their respective parties. Rarity flung Raj's jacket over him and leaned in close “Are you alright darling?”

Raj shook his head. “Well enough. What happened? Why are the walls down?”

“Coltumbus called for it. He said the match was over.”

Raj furrowed his brow. “Did his second surrender for him? Did you surrender for me?”

Before she could answer Coltumbus bellowed out “I declare this duel in favor of Prince Blueblood. Congratulations sir.” He extended a hoof towards the dazed stallion as he regained his hooves.

“What? Why?” Raj shouted.

“You broke the rules Captain.” He said the last word with a quick spit on the stone. “No physical contact. You knew that going in and you still punched the Prince. Shameful behavior, even for an ape.”

“Oh, so we're insulting each other openly now? Great, glad to hear it. You didn't see shit you ass. I punched through his shield and it exploded. I never hit him you blind buzzard.”

Coltumbus' eyes went wide as he sucked his teeth. The ponies within earshot went silent and started to back away, eager to be removed from whatever was about to happen. The ancient stallion said back very slowly “Care to repeat that, chimp?”

Raj straightened up and replied just as deliberately “You didn't see shit you ass. I punched through his shield and it exploded. I never hit him you blind buzzard. Did you hear me that time or are you going deaf as well?”

Coltumbus glared at him hard for a few seconds, slightly grinding his teeth together. He pitched himself forward and onto unsteady hooves. He flapped his near-bare wings a few times for balance and started walking towards Rajrishi. “You listen to me you black-handed demon-spawned treacherous-”

Rarity appeared between them, propped up on her back hooves and a strained smile on her face. “M-maybe everypony should just calm down. Raj dear, is it possible you landed a blow without knowing it? That was a somewhat large explosion, maybe you did hit the Prince?”

“I didn't Rarity. I know I didn't.” Raj insisted.

“The Captain is telling the truth.” The three of them turned to see Blueblood being helped forward by Thistledown. “There was no contact, the duel was stopped in error.”

Coltumbus glared at the young prince and hissed through clenched teeth “I saw the ape make contact Blueblood. I declared you the winner already, shut your mouth.”

Blueblood shook his head and trotted over. “You are in error Marshal. I didn't anchor my shield correctly and when he hit it is blasted back into my face. That's what sent me flying, not physical contact. No rules were broken and the duel was stopped in error.”

The ponies gathered around gasped and started chattering to themselves, this development interesting enough to spark dozens of conversations. Coltumbus fumed and stomped over to the younger unicorn and spat “Do you know what you are doing Blueblood?”

Blueblood calmly wiped some spittle off of his face. “I am doing what is proper, as my station necessitates. Captain Rajrishi?” He stepped closer to him. “I accept a no contest in our... contest.” He said awkwardly as he extended a hoof.

“I can live with that.” Raj shook his hoof and smiled tiredly.

The ponies that were still standing around the arena clapped their hooves for a minute before rushing off the tell the story to anyone who would listen. Coltumbus fumed as he flopped back into his wheelchair and rolled away. Raj considered flipping him off as he went but decided against it.

Blueblood smiled at Raj and bowed “Captain.” He turned to Rarity and his face soured slightly “Rarity.”

“Blueblood.” she sneered back before he turned tail and trotted off. “I still do not like that stallion.”

“I think the feeling is mutual.” Raj looked down at his date “Can we go home now? Because I just realized that I am very nearly naked.”

* * *

The next twenty minutes of the ball were filled with entreatings for the story of the duel and awkward congratulations from those who had already heard it incorrectly. Those who had received an incorrect telling were directed towards Prince Blueblood, who was enthusiastically telling the whole tale over and over again.

Rarity managed to get the taxi queued up and they piled into it. Raj laid down on as much bench as he was able to and let out a long breath. “Glad to be out of there. I am beat.”

The mare chuckled as she pulled her tiny hat from her mane. “Well, don't fall asleep just yet darling. The cab ride is only going to be a few minutes. The train will be long enough for proper rest.”

Raj yawned “That might be a challenge Rare.”

“Well, we could stay the night here in Canterlot. There are some fine hotels that would accept us on such late notice.”

Raj gave her a sidelong look “You know I’m married, right?”

She looked at him curiously for a moment before a blush flashed in her cheeks. “Oh, you misunderstand me, I thought-” She cut herself off and scrunched her face up “Oh, you cad.”

He smiled. “Just having some fun Rarity.”

She rolled her head to the side. “I suppose that fine. Especially after a fight like that, goodness me! That final charge, weathering a barrage of attacks to break his shield like that? Oh, that was the stuff of legends! Ponies will be telling that story for ages, and I was there for it! Eeehee!” She fell into excited giggles and dropped back onto her bench.

Raj smirked at her slightly. “Glad I was so entertaining.”

“Oh, it truly was darling. It truly was.” She looked at the tatters his shirt and pants were in. “It's a shame to see what a state it left your outfit in though.”

He shrugged. “Don't worry about it. I walked around Ponyville for weeks without a shirt when I first got here, I can do it again.”

“Nevertheless, I promise to get it fixed posthaste. It's the least I can do since, well, everything happened.” She looked at him for a second before smiling faintly. “Raj, there's something I've been meaning to ask you.”

“Go ahead.”

“What changed your mind? You said you were going to give up the moment the fight began, but you didn't. What happened?” She asked with concern on her face.

Raj looked at her in thought for a moment and sat up. “Coltumbus happened. I got in an argument with the jerk on the ship and when I saw him there, adjudicating the duel I... I didn't want him to see me yield like that. It's stupid, I know, but that's what it is.”

“Well, regardless, you fought to defend my honor from that scoundrel. It's not something a lady such as I takes lightly. So...” she looked away shyly for an instant before she leaned forward and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

Raj laughed to himself and turned towards her “Aww shucks Miss Rarity, you're gonna make me blush.”

Rarity giggled lightly to herself and covered her mouth with a hoof. “Think nothing of it darling, think nothing of it.”

Not Wanting What You Find

Bakasura didn't look up at him until his boots were stomping along the deck, and the wintry scowl the Rakshasa sent his way actually gave him pause for a moment. He slammed a lever into position and slurred through a mouthful of fangs. “You are far more vexing than something of your years has any right to be.”

Raj got his hammer into swinging position and answered “Step away from the console.”

“Of course,” He said back as he stepped away from the console. “I need this ship intact as well.” He looked him over for a moment, a faint tingle coming to the back of Raj's mind as he felt the thing reading his thoughts. “I can tell you came here for a fight. Might I present another alternative?”

“You may.” Raj wasn't really interested, but every second he kept the thing talking was a second closer to the others getting into the chamber.

“Let me take you home Captain. Back to earth.”

Raj stiffened, the mention of his homeworld drawing a visceral reaction from him. He shook his head, tamping down the feelings as best he could. “S-so it's true? This thing can go through space?”

“Indeed. That is its purpose. The Asura built this vessel and imbued it with the power of starflight. It was gifted to my brother Vibish so he might gather intelligence from every front of the Forming Wars.”

“So Jolly Roger was a Rakshasa.” Raj said, revelation heavy in his voice. “I thought so, but I wasn't sure. It's how nobody was sure of his race, he wore different forms.”

“Indeed. After the war, my brother embarked on his preposterous career as a sky pirate, squandering the gifts given to him by our father for plunder, pleasure, and chicanery.” Bakasura said, a good deal of venom in his tone.

“You're the one that killed him?”

“I am. But the fool gave me a lie about the location of the ship with his dying breath.”

“Classy.”

“I do not ask for your judgment. Only your acquiescence." He spread his arms, projecting contrition. "Let me help you Rajrishi, and you can be home within the day. Back in your house, hugging your wife and son. I will even offer to return to Ponyville and retrieve your dog as well. Anything, just allow me to leave.”

Raj sucked his teeth. “Why? Why offer me this?”

“Practicality. If I were to fight you, we would likely damage the ship and I do not have to time or skills to repair it. And while I am fairly certain of my ability to defeat you, I doubt it is possible before your allies break through the collapsed tunnel. If the only way to achieve my goals is the suffer a brief detour across space, then so be it.”

“You kidnapped Twilight. You killed our crew. How can I trust you not to kill me during the trip?” Raj asked, his voice going reedy.

“If you cannot keep your guard raised for a single full day then you are not an opponent I need concern myself with after all. Besides, a battle of any sort aboard the ship while we are in interstellar space would be foolhardy.” He glowered. “You and yours killed hundreds of my companions over the last few days. If such a massacre stains my honor then yours is black already.”

A section of rock fell free of the collapsed pile with an audible clatter, the stones falling loudly enough to echo off the walls and ceiling. Bakasura's eyes went frantic and he looked back over to Raj. “Captain?”

Raj paused. He considered it. He honestly considered the offer. He knew it would mean betraying everyone in Equestria, every oath and promise he made. But then he thought about the smell of Mari's hair, the curve of her hip. He thought about the crack of his son's voice, the feel of his own bed, and a hundred other things, each one bearing a deep ache of longing.

More of the rubble rolled away and something that may have been a muzzle pushed through the crush of stone and dust. Bakasura drew his scimitar and stepped forward, his voice going frantic. “Captain!?”

Raj opened his mouth to speak but it was lost to a din of squeaks and squeals as a cloud of bats washed out of the narrow gap in the rubble. The bats swarmed towards the boat, already coalescing into the shape of a pony.

Bakasura roared in frustration and charged for Rajrishi, his window for escape gone. Raj saw him coming and got his guard up just as the Rakshasa shook and warped, settling on the form of an enormous rhinoceros.

Understandably surprised by this turn of events, Raj let his hammer go and juked to the side. The beast's bucking horn swept to the side and caught him under his chain mail and hook there, attaching him to the thing. Raj went down, sliding next to the thing and kicking wildly to keep his feet from being crushed by the Rhino's piston legs as it continued to charge.

And then they were falling off the ship. Raj hit first, the glowing water punching him in the back like a boxer. Bakasura hit next and the surface of the water exploded in a fountain of luminous green, throwing him free of the thing's horn. He grabbed and kicked at the water, but the weight of his armor and gear proved too much to swim with easily and he started to sink.

Raj looked to the side and saw the Rhino sinking alongside him, trunk-like legs paddling uselessly. Raj had a moment to find that funny before the thing's form shivered again and he was suddenly looking into the bulging black eyes Great White Shark.

His scream was lost to a cloud of bubbles as the thing's tail sliced through the water, propelling it along the glowing grotto. Raj kicked to sink faster, hoping to find a crevasse he could tuck into that the creature couldn't reach. He hit bottom and felt around, finding nothing more than algae slicked rock. He looked up to see Bakasura's form cut through the water with terrifying agility, angling itself for a run on him. Panic bubbling at the back of his mind, his heart beating faster and eating through his air.

Bakasura shook, propelling himself along like a bullet. Bakasura drew close, eyes rolled back and jaws distended. In a moment of panicked terror, he kicked at the ground hard and propelled himself up, over the giant monster fish narrowly enough the fin of its tail ground along the side of his boot. A surge of elation burst through him that was cut short as the thing started angling back on him for a second run.

The shark started to undulate again, kicking up to speed for a charge when it was harshly tugged back. The thing's body thrashed, struggling against something. Looking closely, a faint glow could be seen clinging to the shark's tail.

And then it was gone, yanked up violently. It cleared the water and continued up, slapping the roof of the cavern hard enough blood streamed from its gills. On the ship, Luna grit her teeth and scowled, her horn blazing with light. She grunted and swung her head, swooping the captive fish in a great curve that terminated against the wall of the cave. Bakasura hit hard enough his sides burst open, spilling black viscera down the stone.

Raj saw none of this, all he knew was that the monster fish was no longer threatening him and he could finally focus on the task of not drowning.

He grabbed at the hem of chain shirt, trying to lift it off of him so he could swim out but the links were snagged on the clothing underneath and over it, locking it to him. He started trudging along the bottom, spots already swimming in his vision. He hit the wall beneath the dock and tried to climb, but the slick stones gave him no purchase, algae rubbing off under his fingers. He was fumbling for his axes, either thinking he could cut the armor off of him or use them to climb, when a pair of gentle limbs tucked under his arms. Thinking the shark was back somehow, he started to struggle but then looked up.

Fluttershy, she had come in after him. The green glow of the algae made her coat look sickly, but she stared down at him with a look of serenity that immediately dispelled his panic and calmed his frazzled mind. She unfurled her wings and flapped them down, the feathers grabbing at the water like paddles and they launched up, closer to the dock.

They breached the surface and Raj drew in a chestful of air like he'd never tasted anything sweeter. He grabbed the edge of the dock and hauled himself up, dragging Fluttershy with him. He laid there, laboring for breath for close to a minute before Fluttershy rolled off of him. “Raj?”

“No. I'm not.” He pushed himself up and looked over at the ship. An eagle was dog-fighting with Rainbow Dash in the air over the boat while Luna fired potshots from her horn when the opportunity presented itself. Further up the steps, the rubble shook as the others squeezed their way through the narrow gap. Raj coughed out a sigh and stood up, axes sliding from their holsters. “I gotta go kill that thing.”

Fluttershy nodded. “I know.” and she stepped out of his way.

Rainbow Dash pulled a loop over the chasing eagle and flared her wings open. She planted her backhooves on the eagles shoulders and somehow flapped up, propelling herself and the eagle down towards the ship. They hit the deck with a terrible crunch and Rainbow pumped her arm, shouting “Yeah! Take that!”

The eagle melted and Bakasura stood up in his hybrid form underneath her. He swung his scimitar at her drunkenly and she fluttered to dodge, earning a slice in the wall of her hoof for the trouble. Luna fired another pair of beams that he sidled away from and spun, hurling a knife in her direction. A shield started forming to block but wasn't fast enough to stop it before the blade sunk into her shoulder.

Raj vaulted off the edge of the ship, screaming rage. He came down on the Rakshasa with both axes, golden blades meeting golden blade in a ringing crash. Bakasura faltered under the hit and stepped back, reeling. Raj pressed the advantage and struck hard and fast, raining down blows. Bakasura withered under the assault and took a hit to his wrist, severing the backwards hand with a gout of black.

The Rakshasa cawed in pain and struck back, blade moving lightning fast. Raj saw it coming and caught it on the haft of his axes, locking it in place. He twisted the weapon in his hand and ground it down the flat of Bakasura's sword, sending a spray of burning sparks into his eyes.

He screamed in pain and staggered back, swinging blindly and hitting Raj across the armor as he clutched at his face. Luna charged, head low, and drove the point of her horn into the monster's chest, hilting all the way to her forehead. Bakasura coughed up a spray of black and shivered into the form of a gorilla, still impaled by the horn. He grabbed Luna by the neck before she could pull back and bashed her to the deck with his other hand. She took the hit and cursed, legs going out from underneath her. Bakasura roared and raised his hand to hit again.

“Hey!” They all heard a voice cut over the din, an instant later a boulder the size of cantaloupe struck the gorilla's elbow, bending it at a sick angle. Down on the dock, Applejack was standing with her hindlegs curled up, a small pile of large boulders next to her. Rarity lifted another into position and Applejack lashed out at it, firing it at the gorilla.

Luna drew out of the line of fire just as the second boulder struck Bakasura squarely in the face. The gorilla staggered back, blood streaming down his muzzle and head lolling on a broken neck. Raj stalked close, axes up again.

Bakasura shivered once more and uncoiled in the form of a giant snake. It lunged, faster than Raj could defend. It didn't have venom, but it did have terrifyingly large fangs that sunk through the links in his mail and into the meat of his chest and neck. He dropped his axes and grabbed at the thing, struggling to dislodge it. The snake clenched its jaw and drew back, lifting him up by the wound. Raj screamed in pain as it thrashed and hurled him away to skid along the deck.

Luna fired another beam, carving a burning line down the length of the thing's coils. She stood up, spine re-aligning itself with wet clicks. The Rakshasa writhed and lunged, turning back into the rhino mid-charge. Luna fired more beams, but the giant beast ignored the hits as they burned along its dense hide. Luna gathered energy for another beam when a yellow shape landed in front of her. She started to shout a warning to her when Fluttershy's wings flared, her eyes widened, and she stared down the charging Rhinoceros.

The effect was like being punched. Bakasura's legs went out from underneath him and he slid to a halt, slowly recovering his footing after a second. The rhino looked around curiously, seemingly unaware of where it was or what it was doing. Fluttershy folded her wings and wiped a layer of sweat off her brow, suddenly very tired.

Bakasura shivered back into his hybrid form and spat. “What did you-” but was interrupted when a boulder crashed into his leg. The ape came back and charged for Luna but was brought down by a flying kick from Rainbow Dash. He shivered into the crocodile and made for the edge of the boat but was almost sawed in half by a tightly focused beam of magic. It turned back into the snake and continued for the edge but was blown back by a wave of confetti and cotton candy scented air as Pinkie floated up with her party cannon, both tethered to a huge cluster of balloons.

The Rakshasa turned back into the hybrid beast, missing a hand and coughing blood. He rose up on his one good leg and shouted out. “This is my ship! My treasure! It belongs to me you thieving nags!” He lifted his sword, still ready to fight.

That changed when Raj slid in, giant hammer held in his grip. He stepped into the swing, arcing it like a big league hitter. The Rakshasa put his sword in the way, but it was akin to using a dowel rod to stop a cement truck. The head of the hammer smashed through his guard, into his chest, and launched the creature up, and up, and up. Bakasura flew away, screaming rage all the while. He managed a few seconds of hang time before he slammed into the curved edge of the roof. He stuck there for a moment and peeled off, falling the thirty or so feet to the mouth of the entrance.

Raj breathed, suddenly very tired. The hammer fell from his grip and he clutched his vicious snake wound. Rainbow fluttered to his side, one leg curled up underneath her. “Did... did it work?”

For a single, crystalline moment, he thought it had. Then he saw the prone monster cough and stagger up.

“Ye must be jesting.” Luna said, disbelief thick in her tone. Bakasura stood on unsteady feet, leaning on his sword. He looked back at the group of them, bloody and tired, and turned to the entrance to the cavern, slowly hobbling away. He stumbled to the ground, crawled for a bit, and got up in a limping run.

Rainbow flared her wings, ready to take off to go finish the monster, but Raj stayed her with a hand. She looked up at him questioningly and he shook his head. “Just, just give it a minute.”

Bakasura kept going, reaching the bare edge of the entrance and slid to a halt in surprise. In front of him, looming larger than life, was the Break of Day, close enough to see the ponies busying about on the deck and the rents and tears in the armor from their recent fight. Close enough to see the gunnery craters along the hull swing open.

Bakasura turned about slowly, yelling something as he tried to run somewhere, anywhere. Cutting over the din of the engine, Topsail shouted. “Port Side!”

The world caught fire as the cannons let loose, annihilating the Rakshasa Lord. Raj covered his eyes from the sudden flare of light that was brighter than the sun in the tiny space. Sound assaulted him, making the hairs on his body dance and jump from the sheer power of the assault. It was over after a minute, the sound echoing around in the space long after the source had died.

Raj looked down at the fire clinging to what remained of the rock shelf and pooling over the green water. He stared for a moment and nodded. “That should do it.”

* * *

It took a good few minutes for the fires to die down enough that they could send Rainbow Dash out to signal the Break of Day. A flight of airponies came back with her and they spent a while staring in awe at the Vow of Poverty and then a longer while staring at the ridiculous amount of treasure upstairs, which turned out to be par for the course as most of the remaining crew came over to secure the area. Rajrishi was fairly certain that the presence of a Princess was the only thing keeping the whole crew from filling every pocket and bag they had with gold.

Twilight and the remaining engineers came over from the ship and once they were done staring in stark disbelief they began going over the Vow of Poverty. While their training did not cover the arcane mechanisms behind the function of ancient, god-built spaceships, they were able to come to a single conclusion almost immediately.

“What do you mean it's broken?” Raj said, his voice as level as he could manage under the circumstances.

“That is not what I said.” Twilight defended rapidly. “What I said, is that it doesn't work.”

Raj stared at her levelly for a few seconds. “Twilight, how is that possible? It was working an hour ago. I saw it, it was glowing, there were puffs of exhaust coming out of the little ports on the bottom. It was functioning, alive. What happened?”

“Maybe it got busted up in the fight?” Applejack offered. “There was a whole lot going on. Something got shook loose. Could that of happened Twilight?”

The unicorn shrugged. “It could have. More likely what you saw was just some remaining energy in the system sputtering out. If I had to guess, something simply degraded from sitting idle for centuries. But I can't even talk about that with any authority. This ship is on an entirely different level, we don't even have the mechanisms to understand how it works, much less what isn't working on it.” Despite the situation, Twilight couldn't keep the glitter of excitement out of her eyes at the prospect of such an intriguing puzzle to solve.

“And the only guy who might have known anything about the boat just got obliterated.” Raj sat down on the cavern floor, his head in his hands.

Pinkie slid in and said. “Maybe he made it out? That guy was super tricky, he might have survived.”

“I looked over there. There's nothing left to him, just some greasy rocks. I couldn't even find his orichalcum sword.” Raj said back tonelessly.

“Oh...” Pinkie answered back, slowly slinking away.

The lot of them sat in silence for a while until Rainbow crouched next to him and elbowed his side. “Hey, don't be so glum dude. So what if that guy is gone, who needs him? You've got Twilight Sparkle! Her and every other egghead in Equestria will be trying to figure this thing out until they crack it. Heck, I'll bet they're making their own Vows of Whatever before winter's done.”

“That's right Raj.” Twilight said cheerily. “We won't give up until we have this thing solved.”

He looked up. “I know that, but-”

“And you did so much else!” Pinkie chirped, suddenly in front of him. She reached both hooves into her mane and pulled out a double armful of gold coins. “Look at all the treasure you found!”

“And ya got rid of a dangerous monster 'n his band 'a pirates!” Applejack said, beaming a smile.

“You also solved one of history's greatest mysteries and gave reason to a myth. Well, I suppose you also ruined one of my favorite literary characters by revealing that he was actually an ancient shapeshifting demon, but there are other book series to follow.” Rarity said with a diplomatic smile.

“But more importantly, I think you've gotten over your fear of heights!” Fluttershy said with a smile. The others looked at her quizzically for a moment and she blushed under the scrutiny. “W-what? You all were there when he jumped off the ship. He didn't, he didn't pause or anything. I don't, I mean, nevermind.” she let out a quiet squeak and ducked behind her mane.

Raj smiled at her and slowly, very slowly, broke into a fit of very tired, very relieved giggles. After a moment the others joined in, all the stress and anxiety from the previous weeks bleeding out of them with the laughter.

He so close, Raj thought. He came so close to finally doing it, just a breath away from doing it. It hurt to think about, to still smell her hair and hear his voice. But here laughing with these ponies, maybe it hurt a little bit less. That was good enough.

It would have to be.

END OF BOOK TWO

Hanging Out

Raj drove the shovel into the snow again, divorcing another plane of snow from the path outside the library. He hurled it onto a steadily growing pile and leaned back in a stretch as a stallion-driven plow trundled past. He looked around the town at the myriad ponies out doing similar chores, most of them in far darker moods for it.

The town had woken up to the alarming sight of snow piled the height of their shoulders. A weather pegasus had left some clouds out overnight and it had done what it was supposed to and layered the town in a full week's worth of snow. Several parts of the town were still snowed in and the weather team was scrambling to get another cloud ready to see that the town remained covered in a festive layer of white.

He did another walk around to make sure the patio and walk were cleared before he offered to help out the neighbors. Most of them were happy to have the burly human help them out and they showed their gratitude by pressing cookies, candies, or some other treat into his hands when he was finished. It was sweet, even if he didn't like much of it.

Raj stomped his boots clean before stooping back into the library. He shouted “Path's clear Twilight.”

“Thanks Raj!” She shouted back from the kitchen before trotting out with a pair of steaming mugs in her horngrip. “How bad is it out there?”

“Not bad, by earth standards at least.” He shrugged and handed a tin of cookies to Spike.

The little dragon tore the lid off and started shoveling the sweets into his mouth, humming in delight. Through a mouthful of cookie, he muffled “I can't believe somepony was dumb enough to leave a cloud out overnight!” He thumped his chest and swallowed a wad of sweets “This is, like, a week's worth of snow, all in one night. I'll bet Rainbow Dash is losing it.”

“I would be too. Ponyville has to be pretty strict with how they use their snow. We're a farming community, so a lot of our yearly cloud stipend gets spent on rain in the spring and summer. That doesn't leave a lot to keep the ground covered for the whole season. If she can't scare up some more clouds, we may not have any fresh snow for the last part of winter.” Twilight helpfully explained.

Raj shook his head. “Man, weather control mishaps and cloud shortages. Equestria never ceases to be incredibly strange.”

Spike turned to him. “What do you mean by that? Do humans have perfect control over their weather or something?”

Twilight's gaze snapped to him and she excitedly asked. “Does it? We never got around to discussing the weather on your planet.”

Raj laughed lightly. “I guess we didn't. Earth has a pretty similar climate to Equestria I guess? We get winter, spring, summer and autumn, same as here. There are parts that are colder year round at the northern and southern poles and places that are warmer year round closer to the equator. There's a bunch of other stuff that factors into it, but I'm not really all that well versed on it. It's weather, it's not something I think about a lot. When it rains, I get an umbrella. When it snows, I get a coat. That's about it.”

“Alright, well how do you control it? Do you have the equivalent of weather-ponies on earth?” Twilight asked as she scribbled on her notepad.

“I'll be it's something technology based, since they don't have magic on earth.” Spike suggested.

“Good point.” Twilight said.

“It's neither. We don't control our weather. It just, sort of, happens and we deal with it.”

Twilight cocked her head. “Like how the Everfree Forest works?”

“Yeah, but everywhere.” Raj answered.

“That makes sense actually. The Forming Wars broke some of the rules of reality, including the underlying processes that move weather around the globe. Without that damage, the natural rhythms of the planet would be able to provide naturally occurring meteorological phenomena.” Twilight explained.

Spike cocked his head. “Sounds awful to me.”

“It's not like we have much a choice Spike.”

“What do you do if really bad weather hits, like a thunderstorm or a hurricane?” Spike asked, sounding a bit worried.

“They don't Spike. The natural rhythms of their planet would protect them from it.” said Twilight.

Raj shook his head, “No, no, no, that is very wrong. We get natural disasters all the time. Dozens a year spread all over the globe.”

“Wait, Earth still has inclement weather? That doesn't make sense.” Twilight asked, still hung up. “That doesn't make sense. The natural laws of your planet should be intact, why would there be inclement weather at all?”

He shrugged. “Never thought to question in.”

Twilight looked at him curiously and Spike asked again. “So what do you do when distasters happen?”

“We deal with it. When we get a thunderstorm, we stay out of it. If a hurricane decides to come on over, we either get out of the way or batten down the hatches. We have people that can predict the weather with pretty good accuracy, but that just gives us more warning.”

Spike blanched and imagined Ponyville wracked by constant thunderstorms, random blizzards, and hurricanes that tore buildings from their foundation. “That's... scary and terrible.”

“That's life on Earth.” Raj paused. “It's not bad though, I'm trying to get back there after all.”

“I mean, I know that, but I didn't think that the weather would be so weird.”

“It's a different freaking planet Spike. Things are gonna be different.”

Twilight set her notes down. “I think what Spike is trying to say is that he couldn't imagine a civilization growing without the ability to manipulate their weather. It's something we've taken for granted for centuries.”

“Yeah, that. I mean, I don't know what I'd do if I had to live somewhere that couldn't even control it's own clouds.”

“Hey, I'll take unpredictable rain over monsters. Monsters trump everything.” Raj pointed out. “You wanna know how many times I've been attacked by something bloodthirsty back home? None. Here? I can name six right off the top of my head.”

“To be fair Raj, you do kind of put yourself in that danger.”

“Victim blaming is an ugly thing Twilight.”

“Point.” She cringed and scribbled another line.

“So your weather is weird and monsters suck, what else is really different?”

“Living arrangements. You ponies live in weird spaces. Like this tree.”

“What's wrong with the library?” Twilight asked as she looked around at the hollowed out space.

“It's a living tree, molded and shaped to be a house. Explain how that isn't weird. I've seen houses shaped like carrots, cupcakes, some sort of fancy hat, and bird's nests. I know that Equus has this visual whimsy theme, but it's tiring.” He paused. “Another thing, why do people all live where they work?”

“It's convenient. There's no commute. Just go to another part of your house and you're at work.”

“Yeah, but it's so widespread. The Cakes live in their shop, you live here in the library, Rarity lives adjacent to her boutique, Cheerilee lives above the schoolhouse. Are those spaces reserved for the people working there? That seems really tenuous.”

“Tenuous?” Spike said, the question in his tone.

“Yeah, tenuous. If a pony gets fired, are they then homeless? Like, if you accidentally burned a bunch of books and got fired from being the librarian, would the next Ponyville librarian then move in here?”

“Well, I guess they would have to. I don't think they'd be able to do the job with me still living here. But I'd never be so careless.” Twilight said.

“Okay, but what about occupations with a lot of turnover? Like the mayor. Her quarters are in city hall, but Ponyville has mayoral elections every three years. So every thirty-six months, Mayor Mare has to fight to avoid becoming unemployed and homeless. That's messed up.”

Twilight shuffled, feeling a bit defensive. “Well, how does Earth do it?”

“We move somewhere, then we find work and then go there when we need to work. If we can't find work close to where we live, then we might move to somewhere we can.”

“So you all work somewhere on your block or down the street?” Spike asked.

“No, very much no. I work thirty miles from my house, I just drove there and back in my car every day.”

“That just sounds inefficient.” Twilight prodded.

“Hey, I've changed jobs three times in the last five years. If I made my wife move each time I think I'd be single.”

Twilight shrugged. “I think I can chalk that one under 'cultural differences'. What else is there?”

Raj shrugged. “A lot of things, but those are the big ones. The rest are just, kind of little things.”

“What's one of the little things? I don't think we've ever discussed that.” Twilight asked as she flipped her notebook

Raj paused, thinking on the question for a moment. “Well, Equestria is just, kinda gross actually.” he said with an apologetic tone.

Twilight was silent for a moment before rolling her hoof and saying “Please go on.”

“Okay, well, here.” He reached forward and grabbed a mug off the table. “Look at this mug. It's covered in dirt.”

Spike examined the mug. “It's not covered, there's just hoofprints on the side.”

“Yeah, because you handled the thing after you spent all day dragging your hoof along the ground. Every pony in Equestria walks around on a limb, they then touch everything with it. It's either that, or your mouths. Do you seriously see no problem with this?”

Twilight frowned. “I guess so. I grab things with my magic mostly, so it doesn't really happen all that much.”

“Telekinesis is no better Twilight. Those weird, floaty fields pick up every last particulate in the air they touch, like static. Everything you carry for any length of time gets covered in dirt and crap.” he reached out and ran a finger along a book she'd been carrying, cleaning off a thin veneer of gathered dust. “That and the hair.”

“What's wrong with hair?” Twilight asked, looking up at her mane.

“Nothing, as long as it's attached to your head. But it's never just on your head. Ponies shed a lot. A pillow or blanket that anyone has so much as touched is always covered in a sticky layer of pastel fur. And that stuff itches. I shudder to think what it's going to be like in spring when you all blow your winter coats.”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Alright Raj, now you're exaggerating. Ponies do shed, yes, but it's not as bad as all that. Right Spike?”

The little dragon squirmed in his seat at the sudden scrutiny. He coughed and ran a claw over his frills. “W-well, when I do your laundry, I have to spend a good twenty minutes brushing a week's worth of fur out of it. When I do mine, I just have to give it a shake to get any fallen scales out and I'm good to go.”

Twilight scowled at him and shrunk back. “Well, I don't find them itchy! Rajrishi just has weak, monkey skin.”

“Watch it.” Raj said with mock-aggression.

“Fine!” Twilight all but shouted, a dark look on her face. “I'm sorry our species doesn't exactly meet your standards of cleanliness Rajrishi.”

Raj laughed at her sternness. “Chill Twilight, it's fine. Life here isn't all bad. I wouldn't even say it's half bad. There's a lot of good stuff about Equestria too.”

“Great, talk about that.” Spike shot in a little desperately.

“Sure. It's a lot less crowded here for one.” He offered

“What do you mean?”

“You two saw my house. There are a hundred just like it within a mile of my place, each one with about as many people in it as mine. When I go to work, I drive down a road in river of cars, each one with at least one other person in it, then I spend eight hours in a building with more than a thousand other people. Throughout my whole day, I don't think I'm ever more than thirty feet from another person. If I want to try and find some seclusion, I have to drive at least an hour. Here, I just have to go for a twenty minute walk and I'm very much by myself.” He steepled his hands. “It's refreshing, not having to worry about space like that.”

She shook her head. “I didn't even think a world could be like that. Wow, and here I thought life in Canterlot could be a bit stifling.”

“Stifling! Perfect word for it. Thanks.”

“Wait, I'm confused.” Spike said with a furrowed brow. “You're surrounded by hundreds of friends all day, every day. Why would you want to get away from that so badly?”

“I didn't say they're my friends. I don't know even a fraction of those people.” Raj explained.

“But... they're your neighbors and people you work with. Why wouldn't they be friends?”

“Well, there are different types of friendship. Some of those people are work friends, people I chat with when I'm around them, they share what they want and I share what I want, but if I changed jobs I don't think I would ever see them again.”

“So, relationships on earth are determined by their environment?” Twilight asked, sounding skeptical.

“Well, sort of, actually... No, I don't think so.” Raj waffled, struggling with the concept. “I'm explaining it poorly. I don't think it's a factor of environment, I think it's more a level of investment. I don't have the energy to maintain that many close relationships. And neither do they. I'm just one of a thousand faces all those people see in a day. I mean, I'm polite with them, but that's just because it's the right thing to to do. I care about them in a general sense, but back home I had maybe four people I would call genuine friends.”

Spike looked at him, vaguely horrified. “That's, that's it? Four?”

Raj nodded. “Yeah, four, including my wife. I'm friendly with most people I meet, but I wouldn't talk to them the way I'm talking to you right now.”

“Is that normal? Do humans just not have very many friends?” Twilight asked.

“Can't say. I know some have a lot, but I think most are like me.” Raj confessed.

“Who do you think that is?” Twilight asked, her pencil scribbling furiously. The amount of information she'd already gathered would almost be enough for another paper.

Raj shook his head. “I can't guess. I don't know enough to say anything useful and if I tried it would just be wrong. Sorry, I should have sent a sociologist or something.”

Her face fell. “It's okay, I'm still happy to hear that you're adjusting well. I'm not all about research all the time.”

“I know that, but I know you're still curious.” He took a draft from his cooled mug. “How is the research going anyway?”

Twilight grimaced. “Stalled for now. I have some books coming in on quantum physics and wormhole theory. When I asked a colleague in Trotsonville if he had anything practical on the subject he almost laughed in my face. Everypony I speak with about how you got here keeps telling me that it's impossible, but clearly it isn't. I'm starting to think that I need to change my angle.”

“How so?”

“Well, by the standards of modern magic, your coming to Equestria is outright impossible. We've gone over it, you got here nigh-instantly from twenty light years away. So whatever did bring you here must be something beyond the standards of modern magic. Something Titanic.”

“I follow.”

“But, that's impossible as well, since the Faustmare destroyed all the other Titans and herself at the conclusion of the Forming Wars. So it couldn't be one of them that brought you here, but it might have been something they left behind, like Jolly Roger's ship or some other artifact.”

“How many Titan artifacts are there?”

“That's what I'm trying to find out. None of them wrote much down, so I have to try and suss it out on my own.”

“If you think you're going to live forever, why take notes?” Spike pointed out.

Twilight sighed. “That's the roadblock I'm running into. I have to go over dozens of different sources, read the most ancient books, talk to every expert I can get my hooves on.” She grinned. “I can taste the all nighters already! I'm going to go over my outlines again. Thanks for taking care of the walk Raj.” She called out as she headed for the basement.

“Not a problem.” Raj answered back as she vanished downstairs. He looked to Spike and said “Y'know, I'd feel bad about her doing all this work if she didn't enjoy it so much.”

“Yeah, Twilight's been over the moon with all this research.” He paused. “You wanna go watch squirrels get drunk on frozen apples down at Applejack's farm?”

Raj scowled. “Are you telling me we could have been doing that all along? Why have I been wasting the morning chatting like an idiot?” He reached for his coat and started pulling it on.

Different Approaches, Similar Problems

Raj sliced his knife through the luminous membrane, a thin ooze leaking from the cut. Nose crinkling in disgust, he peeled the rubbery layer off and reached in to wipe a layer of goo off of the white pony within. As soon as she was exposed to air she drew in a frightened gasp and started scrabbling. Raj pulled her into a hug, “You're okay, you're okay, just breath.”

Rarity did just that and started coughing harshly, splatters of ichor smearing onto Raj's chest. She wiped a layer of ooze from her face and looked around, eyes bleary. “Where... where is... this is my basement. Why am I in my basement?”

“Take it easy, something happened to you, but it's over.” He comforted and lifted her out of the wet cocoon.

Rarity shivered and curled, a chill seeping through her ooze-laden coat. “I... I remember...” her eyes went wide, “Oh sweet Celestia, it was changelings! I was attacked replaced by a changeling Raj!” She grabbed his coat, “You have to warn the others, quickly!”

“Calm down Rarity, it's tied up upstairs. Spike is keeping an eye on it. It's not going anywhere.”

Her breathing slowed as she came down from her panic, tension leaking from her body. She bit her lip. “Alright. Put me down, I can walk.” Raj set her on the step and she wobbled slightly but held up. She shook her head, “Alright, let's go see this doppelganger of mine.”

The thing was bound up in the main showing room of the boutique, a length of decorative chain fed through the holes in its legs and bound up around its neck. Raj didn't know if that would keep it from shapeshifting, but it seemed to have worked so far. Spike sat on a chair a bit out of reach of the thing, scowling so hard Raj was thought his forehead was going to cramp.

He tapped the dragon on the shoulder. “Hey Spike.”

“Raj.” He said back sharply, not turning.

“Anything?”

“No. It hasn't moved since you hit it. I haven't taken my eyes off it though. I've even been blinking my eyes one at a time.” Spike demonstrated, winking in rapid succession.

“Not sure how much that helps but I like the enthusiasm. I'll take over, grab a break, get something to eat.”

“You sure? I could go for longer.” He said back.

“Not needed. Send the message again while you're at it.” He pointed a thumb at the kitchen.

Spike nodded and shot the changeling one last dirty look before leaving. Raj understood his friend's feelings. Spike had a powerful crush on Rarity and the both of them had independently figured out that the thing had likely been eating the positive feelings he had for the unicorn. That alone was worth a lot more than simple anger.

“Is this it then?” Rarity asked, voice a little high. She stared at the curled up bug creature and it stared back at her blankly. “It's not much.”

“Yeah, but don't get too close. It's got teeth.” Raj held up his hand, two puckered holes surrounded by sickly green still visible.

Rarity grimaced at the wound and shot the bound changeling another glare “Filthy beast.”

The changeling snarled and hissed at her, straining against the chain. It let out a whimper a moment later when a coaster bounced off its head. “Enough of that bug.”

The thing winced and fell back. “Eat me mammal.”

“You know, I just might. I hear giant insects taste like lobster.” he shot back, meaning it.

Rarity grimaced at the idea and stepped back from them both. “Ahem, uh, quite. I think I'll get something to eat. Being cocooned has left me rather famished. Raj, would you care to lend me a hoof?”

Raj nodded. “Sure. Spike?”

“I got it.” The dragon strolled out of the kitchen, a plate of carrots and glittering gems in his claws. He plopped down to resume his vigil.

Raj was drawing himself some water in the kitchen when Rarity told him, “That's not one of them.”

“Pardon?”

“That thing out there, it wasn't here when I was attacked.”

Raj frowned. “Okay, well, go over what happened. What do you remember?”

“It's coming back in bits and pieces, still fuzzy. A pair of ponies I hadn't seen before came in all bundled up. They asked for something from my last line, and I went to go find it. They followed me, shed their disguises, and then assaulted me.” She shuddered. “That was last friday.”

“That's when I found out you were sick, so it matches. That means you were podded up for six days. Not a bad execution actually. Probably asked for an old piece to get you to go somewhere isolated and away from any exits, also so nobody would hear you if you made a ruckus.” Raj said.

“Erm, quite, yes.” Rarity grimaced. “But neither of the changelings that attacked me had red eyes, they were both the more common blue. I don't think the one tied up was there.”

Raj folded his arms. “Alright, so that means that there are at least three of the things around here.”

“Well...” Rarity chimed, trailing off a bit. “There, actually may be more. I have vague memories of being intermittently... fed upon. It was...” She shivered and clutched at her neck, faint marks from her repeated venom injections visible through her coat.

Raj stared at the puckered little distortions and let out a long breath, thin bits of anger going out with it. He'd read what changelings do to their captives. In the months leading up to their first invasion of Canterlot there had been several cases of parents overtaken by changeling sappers. It was only after all the creatures had been expelled from the city that it was discovered that a dozen or more children had been parasitically siphoned from for weeks or months while their parents had been trapped in venom-induced stupors, having their affections drawn out as food via psychic bug-magic. And Rarity had been subject to that torment.

He let those feelings go. There was not use getting upset now. “Alright, so there are at least two free changelings in the town, possibly more. We've got one captured, but we don't know if it managed to contact the rest of the cell before we got it. I've tried to contact the Princess but she hasn't responded yet. I don't know why. I can't imagine she's up to anything that's more important than this.”

“Winter Wrap-Up affects all of Equestria, she's likely busy with Canterlot's.” Rarity pointed out.

“Glad to know the safety of her country is being ignored in favor of shoveling snow.” Raj sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. His hand hurt, a lot, a deep burn that twisted through his veins like lit gasoline. He clenched it, letting it focus him and said, “Alright, I'm going to go. I have to find somebody.”

“What?” Rarity said back sharply, voice cracking. “You're just going to leave?”

“Not for long. I'm going to go get help, someone who knows what's going on and what to do from here. Keep an eye on the prisoner. I don't think it can shapeshift with the chain fed through its legs, but I can't be sure. If it tries anything, hit it good and hard. Kill it if you have to.” He pulled an ax from his harness and set it on the table.

Rarity stared at it like he's just set a burning bag of crap down. She collected herself and stuttered “W-what if the rest of them come back while you're gone? I can't fight them off by myself!”

“You won't have to. Spike will be here.”

“Little Spikey-Wikey? He's just a baby!” She cried out, panic edging her tone.

“A baby dragon Rarity, a dragon.” He looked at her appraisingly. “Rarity, I'm certain that Spike is more capable than anyone gives him credit for. He's tough as nails and has a good head on his shoulders. If anything happens while I'm gone, I trust him to handle it. Just stay alert and calm and you'll be fine. And if things do go wrong, barricade yourself in somewhere with one exit.”

Rarity didn't look convinced, so he gave her a slight smile. “Hey, I won't be gone long, less than an hour. While I'm doing that, try and find your cat. I looked around for her but I think she might be hiding.”

Her eyes went wide, “Oh my goodness, I completely forgot about Opal. Excuse me.” She stood up and hurried upstairs, calling out “Opal! Opalescence darling, it's okay. Mama's fine!”

Raj headed out into the main room, gave Spike a nod, and was on his way.

* * *

Not much had changed with Ponyville in the intervening hour Raj had spent in Rarity's boutique. He was surprised when he saw the time on the clock mounted over city hall. So much in such a little sliver of time.

He'd felt safe here, he realized. It didn't make a great deal of sense, he'd been put in life threatening danger more times here than almost anywhere else. Yet he'd come to see the town, and the ponies in it, as something akin to home. Seeing that thing take Rarity that way, knowing that he had interacted with it while it was wearing her skin, that had pretty well cracked the sense of comfort he had about the place. It was something he appreciated only once it was gone.

It's amazing how much a little thing like paranoia can ruin an otherwise nice town.

He found someone he was reasonably sure wasn't a changeling, a wall-eyed pegasus busy wrestling an errant cloud, and found out where Twilight was. She was organizing Winter-Wrap Up again, so she had the best chance of knowing where Bon-Bon was supposed to be.

Twilight was coordinating teams of pushers, clearing out fields in record time by having them move in a staggered line. It was efficient and effective, evidenced by the dozen fields he could see that were already bare of snow and it wasn't even lunch yet.

“Hey Twilight, how's it going?” He asked, making a conscious effort to remain casual.

“Splendidly!” She shot back with a startling amount of verve. “The seasonal birds are already on their way back, we're ahead of schedule on the fields, the lakes are on their way to being melted out right on schedule. I'm still waiting on a progress report from the animal team but there's flex time in the schedule if they're behind.” She beamed, positively overjoyed at running such an efficient operation. “How was Rarity doing?”

“Sick, unfortunately, but getting better. She appreciated the soup.”

“Wasn't Spike with you?”

“Umm, yeah. He was.” Raj answered, kicking himself that he hadn't thought of such a simple inquiry. His gut check was to tell the truth, that he left him with Rarity, but his situation at the boutique had shook his confidence about who was who. If Twilight had somehow been replaced, letting it know where Spike was did him no favors, and lying to her could be easily explained away later. “He was feeling a little tuckered out, guess he didn't get much sleep last night, so he went back to the library.”

Twilight cocked her head. “Oh, alright then. There isn't much for him to do I suppose.” She marked a few things on her board and nodded. “One last thing, is Rarity the changeling, or is it Spike?

Raj blinked. “Um, what?”

“Is it Spike or Rarity that was replaced by a changeling? I'm guessing Rarity, she normally doesn't let any illness get in the way of her work.”

Raj stammered, "It's, it was Rarity."

“It's contained?”

“Y-yeah, for now anyway.” He answered back, mystified. “How did... how know things?”

“Well, I was just at the library and Spike wasn't there, so I knew you were lying about that. At first I assumed that he was spending the rest of the day with Rarity and you were covering for him for some reason, but then I smelled the venom and everything fell into place.”

Raj looked down at the wound on his hand, the edges still faintly green. “But what if I was the changeling?”

She looked at him coyly, “Raj, I'm pretty sure you couldn't hide from me if you needed to. I can feel your aetheric resistance pushing against my magic. Kind of like wind blowing into my horn. A changeling couldn't copy that. Which means that you're you, you got in a fight with a changeling, and you're at least trying to act calm so the situation must be under control. Now then, what's going on?”

Raj didn't answer, he was just stunned. In only a few seconds Twilight had figured out exactly what was going on just from a single lie he told. In that moment Raj was sharply reminded that Twilight Sparkle was an unmitigated genius and he was not.

She gave him a prod and that brought him back to reality. He explained everything that was going on, even teleporting some distance to prove her identity when asked. As he explained, her frown deepened until she was practically scowling. “Alright, what do you need from me Raj?”

“I need to see Bon-Bon. I can't tell you why. Seriously, if I do I think your teacher will throw me in jail.” Raj said, not at all joking.

She nodded. Even telling her that much was treasonous, but he was adapting to a changing situation. Twilight pointed, “She's at the crafting station, building bird nests. I'm going to go to the boutique and secure the changeling.”

“Good plan.” he said back a moment before Twilight vanished in a burst of light. A sizable amount of stress evaporated away with the knowledge that Twilight was involved in the problem. As neurotic and touchy as she was, the girl could take care of problems.

Bon-Bon saw him before he saw her. He made eye contact and cocked his head to the side. She said something to the other five ponies building at her table and then headed for a row of outhouses near a heap of snow. Once they were alone, she turned to him and said, “Report.”

“A lot's happened. I took Spike to-” he paused, eyeing her suspiciously. “Bon-Bon?”

“Right, sorry. I gave you a scroll?” She asked, holding out a hoof.

Raj pulled the scroll out of his shirt and held it up. “And?”

“And what?”

“There's another step here Bon-Bon.” He said, taking a menacing step forward, “Now I'm gonna give you-”

Pain, sudden sharp pain in the side of his neck. He let out a sharp cry of pain and grabbed, his fingers running over the bristly fur of a pony's coat. It pushed off his neck before he could manage to get a hold of it and he fell to his knees, a hand pressed to the site of his wound. From around him he heard chuckling, the ponies from the nest station creeping around the snow mound and the outhouses, wicked grins on their stolen faces. One of them, a brown earth pony stallion, wiped a thin line of red from his fanged mouth. Raj took his hand off his neck and stared at it, red smearing with green ooze, both practically boiling in his palm.

He had just enough time to mentally chastise himself before the burn hit and he pitched forward, a breathless scream hissing out of his throat.

The thing wearing Bon-Bon leaned forward, cooing, “Don't fight it Captain, no sense to it. You got a full dose right to an artery, there's no powering through that. Just give in.”

Rajrishi sputtered, gasping for air. He supported himself on one arm, struggling to stay upright. Tendrils of green snaked from the bite, crawling up his face and into his eye, covering the sclera in emerald lines.

Not-Bon-Bon clucked her tongue and said, “Wow, you're really breaking the venom down quick, but it's coming through in bits and pieces. You really are from another planet, a whole world of monkeys just like you. I can't even imagine-”

Raj exploded upwards, a single fist looping into a wild uppercut. His knuckles hit her squarely on the chin and her head whipped back, neck distending and stretching as she flew into the snowbank. A flicker of green ran along her frame and a shiny black bug took her place, its head twisted back at a tight angle.

The disguised changelings stared in collective shock for a moment. The brown stallion shouted “Murderer!” and hissed, form flickering back into a burly bug. Its wings unfurled and it launched itself forward, mouth wide and ready for another bite.

Raj blocked and it ended up sinking teeth into his forearm. The thing clamped down, pulling and savaging with its long fangs. Raj yelled in pain and drove a knee into its chest, sending it fly back hard enough a pair of its fangs broke off in his flesh.

“This is impossible!” one of the disguised bugs cried out as she backpedaled. “Something his size should be in a month long stupor with that much of a dose.”

“Your goo doesn't put me to sleep.” Raj grunted as he extracted a needle-tooth from his arm, “It just pisses me off!”

That wasn't quite accurate. Whatever hypnotic magic that was in changeling venom was getting eroded by his aetheric resistance, but it was far from harmless. His head felt cold and on fire at the same time, cloudy and muddled and full of razor blades all at once. Searing pain radiated from the bite on his arm, enough that his joints threatened to lock up.

The changelings weren't interested in the particulars however. A red pegasus shouted, “Plan F everypony!” and the collected doppelgangers scattered in all directions, one of them taking the time to gather the body of the dead one.

“Oh no you don't.” Raj threatened. He took two steps forward before the pain became overwhelming and he fell back to a knee, vision swimming. A low-grade roar tore through his ears, throbbing with his heartbeat, loud enough he expected to hear his eardrum split. He started to roll forward, unconsciousness threatening him.

He screamed out and caught himself, every muscle in this body tensed. His jaw clenched, tendons in his neck stretching tight like bowstrings. It hurt, it hurt a lot, but that's all it did. It was just pain, raw, debilitating pain. Adrenaline poured through him, practically boiling his veins. If he passed out, people would die. He was the only one that could stop them.

With that thought galvanizing him, he stood up and began his slow, agonizing walk.

It wasn't graceful, each step had all the agility of a zombie whose legs had fallen asleep, but it got him moving back to the city square. Each step gave him jolts of agony, like someone had stuffed his muscles with ground glass, but still he pressed on, refusing to give up. Tears streamed from his eyes, their trails feeling like fire on his face.

It took somewhere between ten minutes and a year for someone to find him, and in a fit of mad luck it was Rainbow Dash. She hovered in front of him, staring at him in wonder and shock. She rasped, “Dude, Raj, what happened?”

“Rainbow!” He shouted, roughly groping for her. “Rainbow, you have to listen, listen to me. Its...” he trailed off, words turning to nothing.

She put a hoof on his chest. “Raj, stop, just stop. Crusoe just came running into town yelling his head off. He said that you went crazy and attacked Bon-Bon. Why did you do that?”

“What? I, no, I, shit.” He muttered, incoherent. This was part of their plan, to get the town to turn against him by claiming he went crazy. And he was in no condition to argue otherwise. But to sell it they would need some proof.

It hit him like a bolt of lightning. They were going to kill Bon-Bon, they were going to kill her and say he did it.

Mustering as much composure as he could, he focused through the blinding agony and focused himself more than he ever had. “Rainbow, I need you... Boutique, tell Twilight what's... tell her the changelings, just-” He sputtered, gorge rising in his throat. “Go tell her now!” He managed to shout before a wave of vomit splashed onto the wet earth.

Blessedly, she listened, and was gone in a streak of color.

* * *

“-and when I came in, it looked like he was drowning Rarity in the tub. So I blew him into the wall with fire.” Spike finished explaining.

“Wow.” Twilight said as she stared at the man-shaped outline in the wall. “And he was fine with that?”

“Fine enough. He understood it was a mistake. He would have done the same thing in the same situation.” the little dragon shrugged.

“So you blasted him into a wall and he was just fine with that.”

“We had more important stuff to do. Like, the changeling?”

Twilight rolled her eyes skeptically, “I don't-”

The window exploded inwards and Rainbow Dash slid along the tile and smacked against the toilet. The porcelain cracked and a thin trickle of water ran from the tank. Rainbow groaned and rolled, rubbing at a bump on her head. “I thought Rarity's toilet was on the other side of the room. Ugh.”

“You're thinking her downstairs bathroom.” Twilight said as she picked her friend up.

“Oh, right.” Rainbow shook her head, memory of why she was there coming back in a flash. “Twilight, you need to get to the square, quick!”

“What's going on?”

“I don't know! Ponies are saying Raj attacked Bon-Bon but then I saw him and he was all shambly and veiny and stuff and he told me to come get you and he said some stuff about changelings and I don't know what's going and why can't Winter-Wrap Up ever be easy?!” she yammered, words coming out in a torrent.

Somehow, Twilight managed to get what she was talking about and thought about it for a second. Thankfully, a second was all she needed.

She turned to her assistant. “Spike, go keep an eye on the prisoner and get ready for more. Take Rainbow with you and get her up to speed.” The dragon nodded in affirmation and started pulling the confused pegasus out of the room.

Twilight focused herself, charged her horn, and grabbed at the distance between her and the square, yanking herself along the gap in an instant. She appeared in she square with a slight pop.

“Twilight! There you are.” said the Mayor as she walked closer. “We have a situation. I believe Captain Raj may have gone crazy and attacked Bon-Bon!”

“No believe about it!” shouted Lucky Clover. “He musta done it. Should have ran him out soon as he kidnapped them foals!”

“I knew it was just a matter of time.” shrugged Flitter. “He eats meat, eventually he's gonna want to eat us. That's just biology.”

Toe-Tapper nodded, “Frankly, I'm surprised we ever let him live in the town in the first place. He's dangerous, we've all seen that. He rode in on that giant dragon, scared everypony in town.”

“Won't somepony please think of the children?!”

Twilight frowned, putting on a good front of ignorance. “Who is making these accusations?”

“I am!” shouted a brown earth pony stallion, his face swollen slightly. “He attacked Bon-Bon and then came after me. See?” He opened his mouth, showing a pair of gaps in his teeth.

“Anypony else? Step forward!” Twilight yelled, looking concerned.

Three more stepped forward, two pegasus mares and a unicorn stallion, four in total. The unicorn stepped forward and said, “I don't know what caused it, he was just talking one moment and the next he was-”

Twilight interrupted him with a beam of magic split into four, each one striking the witnesses squarely in the chest. They grimaced for a moment and then burst into green light, their disguises stripping off and revealing them for what they were. They looked around in confusion for a second before Twilight lit her horn again and conjured up a series of heavy manacles looped through their legs.

The assembled ponies stared in mute shock, the sudden presence of the alien monsters quieting everyone present. The first to speak up was Snips when he pointed his hoof at the captured changelings and shouted, “Sweet Celestia, Twilight just turned them into weird bug-monsters!”

“I did no such thing.” Twilight yelled, “These changelings infiltrated the town more than a week ago, and Raj was trying to root them out. He was-” She was interrupted by the struggling and hissing changelings, so she covered them in a domed force field before continuing. “He was hurt badly by these changelings and they were trying to turn you against him, and it sounds like all of you were eager for any chance to turn against him!”

Everypony in the square looked down, ashamed or at least embarrassed at being fooled. Twilight snorted, “Now go home. Winter-Wrap Up is on hold until further notice.” The assembled ponies muttered weak apologies and shuffled off.

Once the square was clear, she let out a long breath. There was so much to do. She needed to check on her friends, as Elements they were priority targets in any attack. She also needed to find Raj and figure out what had happened to him. Likely another complication from his alien biology, something worth studying and researching along with the thousand other things that were on that pile of tasks. She'd need to write the Princess, preemptively draft a letter to her parents to let them know she was okay before they heard about this on their own and worried themselves to death. Shiny would need some time too, anything involving changelings made him nutty.

She was on the third mental draft of her letter to convince Shining not to come to Ponyville when one of the changelings bumped the inside of the dome. Present concerns for now, future concerns for later.

She turned her attention to her prisoners. She dismissed the bubble over them and stepped back when they started hissing and spitting at her, dragging uselessly at her chains. She was considering asking them what she needed to know, but they seemed uncooperative. The direct route would have to work.

She picked the one with the busted teeth, as his injury would likely soften his will. She focused, building the components of a complex spell, and fired a twisting, iridescent ray of light at the changeling's face. Its eyes went blank and it's jaw slack like it was sedated.

Twilight cast a part of her consciousness down the beam and entered the changeling's thoughtspace, its brain looking like a giant ball of glowing thread. She read matrices of confusion there as the changeling tried to understand what was happening to it. She needed to find what she needed before it did, the energy expended on a contest of wills stood a fine chance of obliterating what she was looking for.

She learned a lot in the next few seconds. This changeling was named Alate, he was seven years old, had a bit of a crush on another changeling in his cell called Strigae, and had been disguised as Crusoe Palm for about five days. She saw Raj kill the one disguised as Bon-Bon, felt the pain of Alate's teeth getting yanked out, and felt the crushing anguish of knowing he would never get to tell Strigae how he felt. And behind it all was the looming, eyes-over-the-shoulder feeling of the changeling hive mind feeding a little bit of everything he experienced back to their queen.

And most importantly, she saw the ambush and subsequent capture of the mare he knew as special agent Sweetie Drops.

She still didn't know what their overall goal was infiltrating the town, but she could feel Alate realizing what was happening and decided to cut it. Anything else she needed would be there when she wanted it. Twilight dropped out of the mental invasion spell and called up another bundle of chains to secure the creatures. She focused and warped them to the boutique in a cluster, hoping the others were prepared to receive them.

She took a breath, imagining the room she saw in the spell. It was an attic in a house, whose house she wasn't sure, but that didn't matter. It was always dangerous teleporting to an unknown location, so she took her time. After a minute of mental preparation she popped out of existence and popped back halfway across town. Immediately, the acrid smell of changeling ooze his her nostrils and she sent her magical senses out, getting something akin to a sonar scan of the room in an instant.

The changeling was standing over a prone mare, a large hammer held in his knobby hooves. The pony on the floor was wet, cleaned of any goo and about to be killed by something that resembled a human fist, all to better sell the story that Raj had killed her.

The thing had a scant instant to realize someone was in the room before it was blasted in the side by a beam of raw magic, enough force behind it to blow the thing out the wall and into the branches of a tree.

Light streamed through the hole and Bon-Bon/Sweetie Drops opened her eyes groggily, “Hmm, what's... where am I?”

“Take it easy, something happened to you but it's over.” she comforted, ignoring the ache in her head. That was a lot of magic to use in such a short time, but she had the feeling there would be a lot more before she was done.