Discord's Prank

by IrishZombie

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Discord, Princess Celestia, Princess Luna
Length: 1650

Celestia gets her horn stuck in a door.

After millennia of imprisonment, the chaos spirit Discord has broken free of his stone prison. Celestia wastes no time gathering the Bearers of the Elements, but before she can retrieve the Elements of Harmony, she falls victim to one of Discord's nefarious schemes, no doubt set up many eons ago to exact revenge upon the Princess, designed to make her suffer as he did for so long.

Or maybe he just superglued her horn to a keyhole.

Published 2013-11-09 22:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-11-09 22:40:01 UTC

Discord's Prank

"You six showed the full potential of the Elements by harnessing the power of your friendship to beat a mighty foe," said Celestia to the ponies in front of her. She stood at the end of a great hall, flanked on both sides by stained-glass windows recording great moments in Equestrian history. As she said this, she gestured to one window in particular, depicting the six ponies in her audience casting a powerful spell, targeting a fearsome midnight-black alicorn.

"Although Luna and I once wielded the Elements, it is you who now control their power. And it is you who must defeat Discord!"

Her inspirational speech done, Celestia turned to the wall behind her. Slowly, she walked up to it, lowered her head, and inserted her horn into a small hole in the center.

For several long moments, nothing happened. After about a minute of watching her teacher stand with her horn in the wall, Twilight Sparkle coughed into her hoof.

"...Princess?"

"Yes, Twilight?"

"Is something wrong?"

In response, Celestia mumbled something inaudible.

"I'm sorry?" said Rarity. "We couldn't hear what you said, Your Majesty."

"She said that she's stuck!"

Everypony present who wasn't currently stuck in a door turned around at the new voice, and saw something they would never have expected. In one of the windows, a great, snakelike beast was standing and laughing at them.

"Discord!" shouted Celestia. "What have you done?!"

"Just a little prank of mine, dearest Celestia," he said. He picked up a unicorn that stood next to him in the window. "You see, I've already moved your little rocks for you, and while I was at it I thought I'd have a little fun!"

With a flash of light, the unicorn in his paw transformed into a small white bottle with an orange cap. He twisted the cap and squeezed the bottle, and a white fluid oozed out the top of the cap.

"So, when I heard you coming this way, I decided to fill that hole in the wall with super glue. I'm afraid your horn will be stuck there for quite some time."

"Release me at once!" shouted Celestia, her eyes beginning to glow orange with power.

Discord waved his free talon at her. "Ah, ah, ah! I won't be doing you any favors until you learn to ask me properly! Tell me, what's the magic word?"

Celestia gritted her teeth. "Please."

"Please...what?"

"Please release me from this infernal trap!"

"Well, since you asked so nicely." Discord snapped his talon, and in a flash of light Celestia was free.

Unfortunately, her horn and mane stayed where they were.

Celestia, now bald and hornless, stood shocked for a moment. Rainbow and Pinkie were struggling to hide their amusement.

Celestia scowled at the draconequus. "Discord, if you don't give me back my horn and mane, I swear to Sol I -"

"You'll what?" interrupted Discord. "Lecture me? Put me in time-out? You have no magic without that little poker of yours, and even if you did, you couldn't touch me anyway!"

Discord began to laugh, and Celestia ground her teeth.

"Enough! Where have you hidden the Elements?!"

Discord rolled his eyes. "Well, if you absolutely must know, I'll tell you, but I'll only tell you my way."

Discord slinked out of the window he was occupying, and began to rhyme, his voice echoing throughout the chamber.

"To retrieve your missing Elements,

just make sense of this change of events.

Twists and turns are my master plan.

Then find the Elements back where you began."

With a laugh and a flash of light, the window was still once more.

"What do you think he meant? Twists and turns and endin' back where we started?" asked Applejack.

Twilight began to pace. "Twists and turns...twists and turns..." She glanced out a nearby window and gasped. "That's it! I bet Discord hid the Elements in the palace labyrinth!"

"Good luck, my little ponies," said Celestia. "The fate of Equestria is in your hooves."

She gave Twilight the traditional blessing she would give her knights before a dangerous journey, only to remember that she had no horn. The result looked quite ridiculous, the intended gesture doing little more than making her look like a bobblehead.

Ignoring the snickers of two of the ponies before her, she summoned what royal dignity she could muster, standing as authoritatively as possible.

"Go now," she said. "Time is of the essence."

"Right away, Princess," said Twilight, as the six friends hurried out of the room.

Celestia sighed, and turned towards the locked door that held her horn hostage, and starting thinking of a way to get it released.

"Sister, I fail to see why you believe I can help you."

Celestia rubbed her now-bald head with a forehoof. "Because, Luna, not only did you help me in constructing this door, but you are much more talented than I in the subtler magics. Not to mention that with my horn stuck in there, I have no access to my magic."

Luna closed her eyes, mentally probing the door. "Well, I do not know what sort of witchery Discord worked upon your horn, but I can say that there is no charm, incantation or prestidigitation I know of that will release it."

"What can you tell me of the spell binding my horn?"

"As near as I can tell, it is not magic. I have never seen a substance like this before, but it seems to be some sort of abnormally strong adhesive."

They stood in thought for a moment, barely noticing the sun and moon bouncing around like ping-pong balls in the sky above them. Suddenly, Celestia opened her eyes in realization.

"Luna, I have an idea!"

"What is it, sister?"

"There may not be any spell we can cast ourselves that can distinguish between the horn and the door, or even bypass the wards on the door in the first place. However," she said as she turned towards Luna, "there may be something else we can use."

"And what would that be?"

Celestia smiled. "Dragonfire."

Luna opened the door to Celestia's chambers, and began searching. Eventually, she found a jar of green fire sitting on her sister's desk, next to a stack of scrolls.

"Well, there it is!" she said as she telekinetically grabbed the jar. She noticed too late that the container wasn't actually closed, and a small tongue of flame escaped the jar. As she watched, the fire landed upon the scrolls. Almost immediately, the stack of parchment erupted into a great, emerald bonfire.

The scrolls evaporated almost instantly, the fire extinguished as quickly as it began. Luna could only look with bemusement at the place the scrolls sat just a moment ago, the wooden desk completely untouched by the green flame.

She shrugged. "Well, I am sure she did not need those anyway."

"Explain to me how this will work, sister."

"It's simple, Luna. That dragonfire was given to me by Spike, Twilight Sparkle's dragon, and so is attuned to him and to myself. I use it to send and receive letters from my student. Anything burned by that fire will be sent to her, through Spike."

"Then... your plan is to send your horn to Ponyville, and retrieve it there?"

Celestia considered this. "That is a possibility. However, since my horn is particularly affiliated with me, I believe it will simply travel to me, so long as there is some distance it needs to travel first."

"So, is that why you will be standing on this side of the hall, away from your horn?"

"Precisely, Luna. You will unleash the fire upon my horn, which will then be teleported to me, since I'm not in its immediate vicinity. Then, once we have my horn, we can reattach it and start helping my student and her friends."

"Let us hope it will work as you believe it will," said Luna as she walked back to the other side of the hall.

When she got to the other end, she turned back. "I am ready!" she shouted.

"As am I!" Celestia shouted back. "Release the fire!"

Luna readied the jar, concentrating so that the powerful magic of the dragonfire wouldn't escape. Closing her eyes, she willed a tunnel of magic into existence, giving direction to the mysterious flame. With her makeshift flamethrower, she aimed in the general direction of the vault door, and sent a roaring jet of green ahead of her.

As she was concentrating, she never noticed the wave of rainbow-colored energy wash over the castle, nor Celestia's horn reattach itself to her sister's head.

Nor did she notice that, though whole once again, her sister still had her horn in the door.

Spike groaned, willing himself to stand up. He had lost track of how long he spent coughing up letter after letter, but he was finally starting to feel like himself again.

"Ugggghhh...." he said. "Twilight... Where'd Twilight go...?"

Spike walked down the stairs, to the door of the library. Suddenly, he felt it start again. And as if that weren't enough, this one was big. Really big.

"Oh no. Oh no no no no no-"

He let out a massive belch, and suddenly a quite confused Celestia was flying across the room.

Before she could register where she was, she came to a stop with a solid thunk. Slowly rolling her eyes upward, she saw what she had hit. Her horn was now embedded up to her head in the Ponyville library door.

An exasperated sigh escaped her lips.

"Not again..."

Author's Note

Fun fact: This was written for a fanfiction secret Santa I took part in a while ago. The original prompt was "Celestia gets her horn stuck in a door", and I decided to have a little fun with the wording of that premise.