Bittersweet Memories

Night 1, Year 1

I can’t stop crying! The thought of Luna gone from me again so soon is torture to my already frail spirit. Three years seemed like forever, but now I can see that it was nothing at all compared to the trial to come. My life was perfect, then the three years was torture for me. While my body became exponentially stronger, my mind became an insane asylum within itself, twisting into a warped maze of meaningless thoughts and wrenching despair. I fear as much for Luna, as I do for myself.

This journal will be the only record of my miserable life. I can only hope it will keep me some sort of company, so I won’t be alone for a thousand years.

Night 2, Year 1

Yesternight, I couldn’t stop crying. Tonight is no different. All I can think about is Luna. I mourn for the night I lost her, and I can’t look forward to the night I can see her again. Three years was hell, and this-

Even with the spell of 1000 years of extra time Luna gave me, I fear for my life.

Night 4, Year 1

I’ve since stopped crying, but the nights I lay awake, staring at the moon have rendered me a zombie pony inside; dead to my emotions, not willing to let them be displayed, yet constant torment from them. The agony they cause me from their mere existence, they scream out to my mind, telling me that they are very alive. I can only hope that this journal can keep me occupied while I wait. I hope to Celestia that I am still Jenetar when Luna comes back.

No, I don’t hope to Celestia. She’s the reason I’m stuck here waiting. No more Celestia. I don’t know who I hope to.

Night 16, Year 1

A lot has happened in the nights since I wrote in here. I’ve picked up where I left off over a year ago, and begun my training again. I can only hope that my training does not leave Equestria broken and destroyed before Luna returns.

Night 57, Year 1

I can see now that the journal well not be a regular thing. I’ve been waiting every night for, like two months now. Just waiting, and training. I don’t care about writing about my routine for training. Nopony cares, not even me.

Night 127, Year 1

I remember this feeling. Insanity. The toll the three years took on my mind has begun already, and it’s only halfway through year 1. I’m starting to talk to myself, and although its nothing unusual for me, I’m starting to talk like I’m somepony else. Before it was, “I wonder if this,” and “what if that.” Now I’m talking, conversing, and even arguing. I can’t wait to see what three years will do to me.

Waiting. I can’t wait. I can’t.

Night 273, Year 1

I remember you! Broken leg! I’ve felt this pain before! I remember you well! If it wasn’t for that rock, you would- Get ahold of yourself, Jenetar. Don’t lose your sanity completely just yet. Just rest up for a while and you’ll be fine. Physically.

Night 92, Year 2

I’m crazy. I don’t know anything other than Luna. Nothing is real, and nothing exists to me. To others, I don’t know. I don’t care. I need Luna, right now!

Night 219, Year 2

Nopony has talked to me. I’ve seen a couple in the distance, but I don’t care. I only see one I care about, and she shines her radiance on me every night. Luna.

Night 23, Year 4

Holy raccoons, my life is time. My minutes spent here are hours, my nights weeks. My time here has expired, and now I’m running on the clock of mindlessness. I’m becoming overwhelmed by fear. Not for anything here, ooh no. I care nothing of pain anymore. I’ve smashed through rocks with ease. I fear for Luna, and what kind of monster will have taken my place when she returns.

Night 46, Year 7

We meet again, journal. I care little for you now. I’m spending too much time thinking about Luna, then thinking about avenging her, then thinking about doing it right now, then thinking about how she will want to do it herself. Then training some more. Its been three years since I talked to you, journal. In three years, my sanity is all but Luna. Gone. A thing of the past that I can barely dream of. Dreams. My dreams are nightmares, just like my friend and princess. Oh Luna, please hurry.

Night 187, Year 14

No, no, no, NO! I can NOT do anything to Celestia until Luna comes back! The temptation to take on Celestia to avenge Luna is as unbearable as the wait for her. What good is vengeance if Luna isn’t here to enjoy it?

Night 290, Year 22

My life. I don’t want it. I want another’s. Somepony. Anypony. Somepony who isn’t me. Somepony who will live a short life and die happily. My journal entries are but several sentences now, and very scattered ones at that. I’ve often found myself crying over Luna, in the middle of training. My mind is as fragile as my body is indestructible. And my emotions are the magic. My body cannot take magic, just as my mind cannot take my emotions. If only something would happen that could take away this pain. Oh wait. It will. In about nine hundred and something years.

Night 172, Year 29

Luna, if you ever read this, know that by now I have lost my mind. What you will come back to, and have probably come back to already, will not be, or is not, Jenetar. Jenetar died. I am no longer the pony you knew. I am a monster. I may look like him, but I do not feel like him. I know I am him, but I do not act like him. I do not think like him. I do not think at all. Please, be careful.

Night 346, Year 37

I would be dead if it weren’t for Luna, in two ways. If it weren’t for her magic, I’d be dead anyway. But if she weren’t coming back, I wouldn’t have any reason to live. She is the only reason I can endure this hell of an existence of mine. I just hope it’ll be enough. I don’t want to die, no matter how much I want to.

Night 17, Year 46

Time is a cake. A mixture of several emotions that make up the final result. The result is bad. Just bad. The worst kind of bad. I should be over sixty years old by now. Time is just a cake. I want some cake.

Night 92, Year 51

I’m losing my mind. It’s racing away. I’m losing in a race for my mind. I’m losing to my mind in a race. Oh please, Luna, hurry back. Please save me.

Night 292, Year 67

Pain is gone now. I feel nothing from training. I don’t know if it’s a good thing for me to feel nothing, but I’d sure like to feel nothing emotionally. It would SURE BE NICER than wallowing in whatever it is a pony is supposed to wallow in. Maybe some night I can forget all about this horrible life I’ve lived, and learn to not feel.

Night 7, Year 74

Sonic boom? That’s odd. I heard a boom, but I didn’t hear anypony say “sonic,” so it was only a boom. Maybe it was a sonic boom? I’m talking to myself too much. I never was patient, but this is torture. So far, instead of talking to myself in a conversation, I talk to myself AND another of myself. How many of me are there? How many of there are me?

Night 302, Year 86

Please, Luna. Please hurry. My body is unbreakable, but it seems that my heart does not care about the rest of my body. My heart was broken the night you left, but the shambles and shards are breaking too. Please hurry back.

Night 303, Year 86

And maybe bring me a waffle.

Night 134, Year 93

I’m approaching year one hundred. And insanity. Wait. I’m already insane. Where is sane? And why am I in it? Year one hundred. Only twelve more one hundreds to go. Twelve? Maybe twenty nine? Or ten! Yes, ten. Curse you, mind. Curse you for not being like my body. Invincible. What am I thinking? Am I thinking at all? Where am i? Equestria? Or someplace else? Someplace that I can only venture because I’ve lost the boundaries of reality, and slipped into a paradoxical world of chaos. Surely there must have been a time of chaos as bad as this.

Night 1, Year 100

Tonight marks one hundred years. One hundred years of waiting. Of boredom. Curse you, Celestia. If it wasn’t for you, I would have died by now. Happily, after countless nights with Luna, seizing time in our hooves and making the most of it. But because of you, I’m waiting here. Waiting to be freed from the doldrums of time, to be reunited with the only pony who can help me now.

Night 63, Year 100

Somepony tried talking to me tonight. They were interesting. They were wandering through the forest, and saw me sitting on the ground. Or rather, I saw him. I bet I saw him first. I wasn’t sure if he was real. I tried to wrap my mind around reality long enough to determine what I was or wasn’t seeing, but while I was so caught up in my mind, he ran off. Perhaps I scared him? Was I acting funny? Scary? Or was I acting? I’m acting like a crazy pony. No, I am a crazy pony. Jenetar is gone, and I am no longer him. I am a crazy pony. Jenetar is with Luna, and when she comes back, I can only hope she brings him back with her.

Night 283, year 102

Even though I’m trying to make a point of writing in the journal more often, I’m finding myself distracted by training. Points. That’s a good idea. I’ll start practice pointy object pain tolerance. Pincushions. That’s me. Is it me? I wouldn’t know. Who am I? And why wouldn’t I know who I am? Which I is me?

Night 152, Year 103

In a year, I’ve found rocks to stab myself with. I didn’t expect it to hurt so much, given the lack of pain I feel already. But this was a completely different type of pain. The kind I’m used to seems so blunt. This stabbing kind feels sharp, more concentrated on a single spot. But I’ve gradually gotten used to it, sort of. I still have a long way to go. A long way.

Night 86, Year 109

The years go by like nights, but during them the mere hours feel endless. I’ve thought of driving the rock through my heart on numerous occasions. But how would Luna feel? I couldn’t do that to her. I made her a promise one time. A promise to protect her. I failed. I hate that night. But I made her another promise. That I would wait for her. And I will NOT fail her again. I promise.

Night 179, Year 126

Ten years have passed since we spoke, journal. How are you? I’m horrible, thank you. No, no thank you. I don’t thank you. You didn’t do anything. I’ve done everything. You sit here, waiting for me to write in the journal, for me to do it. You don’t do anything. So never mind. Mind. Never. My mind will never be “never.” It’s too active. I’m hallucinating. I don’t remember how many mountains were around, but I’m sure it wasn’t six. I can’t remember which one is real, and I’ve been surprised on many occasions by attempting to ram into a fake mountain. Reality disappeared with Luna. Bye, journal.

Night 204, Year 131

Should I write poetry? To keep my mind off of what I’m doing? But what am I doing? If I do poetry to keep my mind off of what I’m doing, but I’m doing poetry, them I’m doing poetry to keep my mind off of poetry, and then I’ll never write poetry. So never mind. My mind doesn’t need so much confusion. My mind is confusion.

Night 88, year 140

I’ve only been sleeping from sunup to sundown for 140 years. Maybe today, I’ll try sleeping in, just a little. I’ll be sure to ask somepony for the date, just in case I don’t wake up until sometime later. I’ll have to be really careful not to scare them.

Night 362, year 142

I’ve been asleep for a week. Forcing myself to get up has deprived me of a total of a week of sleep, and now I feel great! Well, physically. The nightmares I constantly have only ever seem like a minute or two, but being asleep for a week? It was horrible. I was being chased my zombie ponies for two whole days. I’m just glad I was able to pass off a week in two hours. Apparently sleeping makes time go by faster or something.

Hey, there’s a thought.

Night 363, Year 142

Ok, so apparently I can only sleep for a week if I stay awake for a hundred years. I tried sleeping like that again, but I woke up at sundown again. I guess I got all the rest I missed, so now I’m doomed to wait consciously again. Well, as conscious as I can. I’m not sure if I’m awake or asleep half the time. The only way to know if I’m awake is by remembering how horrible my nightmares are. They’re more like daymares, since I sleep in the day.

Night 24, Year 147

Years go by so fast, yet so slow. Afterwards, they’re fast. But before, they’re slow. It’s like eating waffles. They’re so delicious eating them, but when you’re done, you look back and think, “that was all?” Oh, what am I saying? You’re a journal. You don’t eat waffles. You don’t think either. But neither do I. If I do, I can’t control it.

Night 198, Year 153

Well, I killed something tonight. It was some four snake headed roar thingy. It was four big snakes on a body of something. It was weird, but surprisingly easy to kill. It wasn’t nearly as tough as me, so I kinda bashed it’s heads together until it shut up. I got a small cut from sneezing when I should have been dodging, but it doesn’t bother me. Maybe I can find more of them and practice some more.

Night 81, Year 161

I can’t stop thinking about Luna tonight. I’ve been reflecting about everything we’ve been through, all the times we had. I remember the time we met. Sort of. I was found as a baby and brought up in the castle. The first time I remember seeing Luna was waking up, and seeing her filly face looking at me with curious eyes. From then on, we’ve been inseparable. Inseparable. That right there is the reason I cried tonight for the first time in years. We would laugh and play, and Celestia wouldn’t stop us. But she did stop us.

Night 243, Year 162

I realized something. When Celestia banished Luna, and Luna put that weird spell on me, Celestia didn’t know about it. She had no knowledge of the fact that I would be alive to see Luna again. And yet the didn’t care. She had the intention of ruining my life forever. And all I can think about was the lack of emotion she showed towards me. She didn’t try and comfort me that night. She had every intention of separating me and Luna forever. Celestia. You've gone too far. You knew well how much we meant to each other. And yet you didn’t care.

Night 53, Year 174

Life is death. My life renders me dead inside. My mind is a mess of thoughts and emotions, but my emotions don’t exist anymore. Yet, they exist everywhere in my mind. I don’t know what I think anymore, or if I think at all. Maybe death is life. If I die, will I finally be at peace? No, no. Luna needs somepony to come back to. I am that pony. I will not give up.

Night 106, Year 189

The years go by, I feel older inside, but not outside. In fact, I feel better than ever. My training has nearly leveled the surroundings, and I felt none of it. But inside, my mind is dying. Or maybe it has already died. I don’t know. I don’t know a lot of things. Like when will I get waffles next?

Night 243, Year 203

I forgot is was the two hundred year mark. Hooray for two hundred years. No, not hooray. Two hundred years have killed me. Jenetar is dead, thanks to you, time. Maybe he isn’t dead. Maybe he is, somepony else. Or I am somepony else. Whoever I am, I hope I am me enough to see Luna again.

Night 57, Year 206

My mind is tormenting me. It is no longer a prat of my body, and is now trying to kill itself. I don’t know if my mind is part of me anymore. It wanders off to the depths of despair and never comes back. I don’t know how much longer I can take this. Please Luna. However you can. Help me.

Night 209, Year 211

Canterlot looks a lot different than it did two hundred years ago. I just now noticed, but it looks much more fancy and upper class. It seems more modern and civilized. Just imagine what it will be like when Luna returns. I also noticed I developed a nervous twitch. It only occurs when I feel uncomfortable, but since I feel uncomfortable all the time, it always happens. The only way  I figured out that it only happens when I’m uncomfortable is because it never happens when I’m about to fall asleep. Unless I think of something uncomfortable. Then it happens. I’m not sure if it will get annoying, but I sure am glad that I made it this far before getting the twitch. Maybe I really can survive for a thousand years. Or eight hundred by now. I found a pony and asked for the date, just because.

Night 144, Year 214

My head. I remember exploring the Everfree Forest, and I thought I knew it well. Apparently there’s a whole section I haven’t explored, because there was a cave I didn’t recognize. When I went inside, I looked around and saw a gigantic purple bear staring right at me. It was angry. I got a glimpse of it, the strange star pattern on it’s body, the fangs protruding from it’s mouth, but that was all I got. I saw it lift it’s paw to the ceiling of the cave, and I knew what it was doing. I braced myself for an impact, but I didn’t expect it to be so powerful. It came down, and I stood motionless, like I had done for Luna so many nights ago, but when it hit me, I didn’t stay still. I remember rocketing off out of the cave, a short pain in my head, but then blackness. A long blackness. Luckily it was the night after I got the date from a pony, and when I asked another one tonight, apparently I was in a coma for about a year. A year. It seems like I have a flair for comas. But at least it was a year I didn’t have to spend waiting. I should get knocked out more often.

Night 99, Year 221

The years have gone by like nothing, but the years to come seem endless.

Night 54, Year 227

Nights aren’t anything to me anymore. This must be how everypony else feels about day. When it’s pitch black, I see perfectly. I can spot bugs along the ground and butterflies in the trees. But day is awful. The light blinds me. I can’t see a thing, and it feels like my eyes are on fire. I’m glad my hut is sealed off from the light. I wouldn’t be able to sleep otherwise.

Night 292, Year 235

I’ve been thinking about Celestia all night. And they aren’t very nice thoughts. When Luna comes back, I’ll get her to imprison Celestia for a thousand years, see how she likes it. Nothing to do, nopony to talk to, nothing to do but wait. See how she likes it. Maybe next time she’ll think twice about doing anything to Luna while I’m alive.

If there is a next time.

Night 164, Year 242

Help me. I need help. My mind needs help. So maybe I don’t need help, it’s my mind that needs help. Is my mind even me anymore? Who is Jenetar? Am I Jenetar? Or is Jenetar gone? Or maybe my mind is Jenetar, and I don’t recognize it anymore. I don’t know. Wait, I do know. I know that I need help.

Night 96, Year 253

I want a waffle.

Night 172, Year 261

I don’t understand it. Every night I can sense the ponies living out their lives, but they don’t stop to think of the pony sitting out every night, waiting for what seems like nothing. Or maybe they don’t know I’m here. That’s probably it. It’s so dark out, but I can see with no problem. And they probably can’t tell that I’m here anyways, because I’m so far away from them, but I can tell where they all are, because I practiced it for three years. Three years. It seemed like an eternity, but it was all nothing at all compared to now. Why must time exist? I’m losing my patience. Maybe patience is a part of the mind, because I’m losing that too. Or maybe I’ve lost them already. Probably that.

Night 235, Year 270

I feel old, but not. My spirit is wearing out, but my body feels indestructible. I don’t feel like I’m close to 300 years old. I don’t even know how that spell Luna put on me works. Am I stopped in time? Is everything else stopped in time? Curse you, time!

Night 129, Year 278

I’m getting so close to Luna! Oh wait. No I’m not. Maybe I’ll work on messing with my mind. It’s messed me up so much, it’s time to mess with it back. I’ll try and control things it normally does for me. Maybe I can fall asleep for 600 years.

Night 48, Year 289

The mind training goes well. I think. I’m able to trick my mind into seeing upside down and use different colors. Also, I think I’m able to make myself hear things that I’m not really hearing. This is kinda cool. I still want to fall asleep.

Night 134, Year 298

I’m approaching the 300 year mark. Over the years since the mind training, I think I’ve put myself to sleep for exactly a week, so I’ve gotten it down pretty good. Once I hit 300 years, I’ll see how long I can sleep for. It should be longer than last time because I can tell my mind to do stuff now. I’m kind of excited to wake up and be closer to Luna than I thought. I just need to relax and shut off my brain for about 600 years. Piece of cake.

I want cake.

Night 364, Year 299

Well, tonight is the eve of 300 years. I’m going to ask somepony what the date is, and go to sleep the next night. I should find a well hidden place to sleep. Good night, journal. Screw you, time.

Night 1, Year 300

Good night, Luna. Sweet dreams.

Night ?, Year ?

I don’t feel rested. What’s the date? My dreams were surprisingly pleasant, unlike the last time I tried sleeping for a long time. In fact, I don’t remember what I dreamed about. At least I wasn’t discovered. My hiding place is still here, and so am I. But I need to find out the date. If I slept past Luna’s return.....

Night 34, Year 300

Oh my waffle eating hydra. A month. Training for years to sleep through the years, and I sleep for a month. Just one. Not even a year. One measly, worthless, puny little month. I’m done. With this journal. This journal does nothing for me. I’m getting rid of it. I don’t want it anymore. Good riddance, journal.

Night 139, Year 643

I’m sorry journal. I shouldn’t have done that to you. Without the journal to write in, my sanity has dropped horribly. Waiting has been torture, and more than usual. I can’t begin to describe the horrible things I’ve thought and felt. I need someplace to put down my thoughts. For over 300 years I’ve dealt with my thoughts and worries. Infinite despise and endless jealously, bottled in my soul. Hey, catchy. Without the journal, I have nothing to do with my feelings. I’m sorry journal. I’ll never do it again.

Night 140, Year 643

Over the horrible years, I forgot how to live. My endless nights were spent venting out my bitter anger and hatred for everything. Just everything. My life, Celestia’s life, time, my mind, myself. Myself especially. How could I have let this happen? I had one job. But it was Celestia’s fault. I blame her, and I see no reason why I shouldn’t. This is her fault. Her fault.

Night 143, Year 643

So journal, how are you? I’m bad. Or am I? I don’t know anymore. Actually, I stopped knowing a long time ago. I don’t know. Something. Everything. Nothing. What?

Night 263, Year 644

Sorry I haven’t been writing in the journal a lot. I’ve been busy trying to get everything else to shut up. The trees won’t stop trying to make me feel bad for killing the other trees, and when I knock them down, they don’t stop talking. And the rocks just whisper to me things I can’t understand. But I hear them, and they won’t stop. I can’t get rid of the voices. Twitching is a problem. I do it about every 4 seconds. It’s kind of annoying now.

Night 156, Year 653

Years seem less and less lengthly as I look back on them, but what seemed like a single night when I started seems like a year now. Time is trying to break my mind into dust. Time hates me. It is out to make my life as horrible as it can in it’s power, and time is pretty powerful. Maybe even as powerful as Luna. Luna, who put this curse on me. No, it’s not a curse. It’s a blessing. Without it, I would never see her again, and Celestia would win. Even if I lose myself, I will not let Celestia win. Not again.

Night 218, Year 659

My mind is a mess. I can’t clean it up. I’m hallucinating. I see things. I don’t even know if I’m out of my mind anymore. I can’t remember what it feels like to me sane. Is it nice? The years pass by so fast now. Every night I wake up, and it almost feels like it’s over before I can breathe. But right now, during every night, it’s an eternity. I want a waffle.

Night 142, Year 663

So, how are you? I’m fine, how are you? I’m good thanks. What have you been up to? Oh, nothing, just waiting for Luna to come back. Waiting for my princess. For my best friend. My only friend. Is that a tear? My cheek is wet. Luna? Did you do that? Or did I do it myself? Or was it Celestia? Celestia, you will regret the night you banished Luna. Because the night she returns, will be your last.

If Luna lets me.

Night 302, Year 671

Why should I keep living? Because Luna wanted me to. I’ve come this far. Only 300 more years. Sort of. If I can go that time without writing in a journal, I can go that time with it. Watch me Luna, if you can from up there. I’ll live. For you. So we can live together. Somenight.

Night 157, Year 682

How do I remember these dates? I think I just count. Maybe. I’m gonna try sleeping. For a long time. I think I did it before. I’ll try it again. Maybe I can knock ten or something days off my punishment. Punishment. How appropriate.

Night 62, Year 690

Almost to 300 years left. It only took 500 years to get here. Wait, 700. Some giant number. I can’t be sarcastic anymore. Could I before? If only I could get rid of all my emotions. And forget all about this. Do I really want to forget all about this? Would I still appreciate Luna? No, I don’t want to forget about this. I want to remember all of this. The torture that time is capable of inflicting. The agony of losing my friend. All because I failed. I will remember this. I will not go through this again. I will never fail again.

I promise.

Night 239, Year 699

Almost 300 years left. I’m going to try again losing my journal. I talk to myself all the time anyway. That’s how I keep myself company. I’ll think of this as a game. I’ll want it back, so I’ll look for it. But I’ll disguise it as a rock. I’ll throw it as far as I can away, then  try to find it. This’ll be fun. I think. I hope.

Night 365, Year 699

This might be my last journal entry. If I never find this again, to whoever finds this, never fail. Goodbye, Jenetar. I’ll see you in 300 years.

Night 1, Year 700

Ok, this is my last one.

Night 272, Year 856

Wow. Wedged in the trunk of a tree. That took a while. What, finding the journal? Or waiting? Well both. I wasn’t looking all the time. Only when I remembered. I didn’t look every night. If I did, I probably would have found it sooner. But maybe it’s for the better. Was this a bad idea? Why would it be? I don’t know. Maybe I should have recorded what it was like for so long. Why? I already have something years worth. Maybe I should go back home now. It’s getting bright.

Night 273, Year 856

Somehow, I remembered to write in the journal the night after I wrote in it again. Not a lot has happened since I lost the journal. I didn’t lose it. Yes I did, just on purpose. Anyway, yeah not much has happened. I hate Celestia. I lost my mind. No, I lost my journal. My mind is my journal? Kind of. I wrote down what came to my mind throughout the years. I’m doing it write now. I mean right. Write? Right? Right. Left? Shut up.

Night 174, Year 861

Well, it appears that I forgot about the journal already. The years are almost meaningless now. But the night feel like centuries. The days still hurt me. Mostly my eyes. Day. Celestia brings the day. Celestia. You will die.

Night 327, Year 866

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about Luna, but all those thoughts have led into hatred for Celestia. The whole reason I’m here, why Luna is on the moon, why I am being tortured by time, is because of her. She did this to me. With no remorse. I remember it clear as night. She left me without comfort. Nothing. Somenight, I’ll have my revenge. So will Luna. We both will.

I think. I hope.

Night 219, Year 873

Getting closer. The nights are torture in them. But afterwards, I look back at them as just another night. I’ve said that before, haven’t I? Of course I have. I forgot. I almost forgot everything I’ve done these years. Training has taken up so much of my life, I barely notice it anymore. The years are almost uneventful. The only thing I can really remember is being lonely.

Night 134, Year 882

I miss Luna. I looked at the moon one time when I woke up yesternight, and cried until I fell asleep. I hate time. I hate Celestia. I am going to enjoy Luna’s return for being able to end Celestia almost as much as I’ll enjoy it for being with Luna again. I don’t know of a way to kill time right now, so I’ll save that for later. But I can end Celestia. I just need to wait for Luna. Just a little longer. Just a little.

Night 178, Year 889

Luna? If you can read this from the moon, I miss you. I can’t wait until you come back. We are going to have so much fun. I just hope my mind returns when you come back. Maybe you’re borrowing my sanity? And you’ll return it? If that’s the case, take all of it. You need it more than I do. I’m still alive. I’m still waiting.

Night 205, Year 894

Well, I’m getting close to 900 years. That means only 100 years left. I’ve waited this long. I can survive. If it’s for Luna.

Night 364, Year 899

Tomorrow starts the final segment. The last 100 years of waiting. Take that, time. I’ve survived your torture for this long. I can wait another 100 years. And you, Celestia. You thought you could tear us apart? You meant for me to be dead by the time Luna gets back. You were unaware that I’d still be alive for her. I don’t like that.

I don’t like that at all.

Night 1, Year 900

Tonight is 900 years. 900 years ago tonight, my Luna was banished to the moon. And 900 years ago, I still could think straight. Now, I can barely think at all. But I will. When Luna returns. She will help me. Just like I will help her get revenge on Celestia. I just know it.

Night 78, Year 909

Another night come and gone. I can’t wait for Luna to come back. No. Yes I can. I’ve done it for this long. I haven’t come this far to quit now. I need my life for Luna. Luna needs me. If I’m not going to live for myself, live for Luna.

Night 178, Year 917

So close. So close. So close. So close. Just a little farther. If you gave in every time you wanted to give up, you’d be dead over 200 times, and Celestia would win. Don’t give up. You've done this for so long. Don’t give up now. Keep training. The more I train, the more use I am to Luna. Luna. I can only hope that when you return and Celestia is finished, things can go back to the way they used to be 1000 years ago. Carefree and reckless. Just us and nopony else. Our lives will have meaning again.

Or, at least mine will.

Night 229, Year 923

Just a little more.

Night 147, Year 931

Longer. Wait a little longer. Not so bad.

Night 324, Year 938

Closer. Closer. Closer. So close. Time is losing it’s grip on me. Luna is on her way.

Night 297, Year 942

Luna? I’m waiting. I’m here. I’m alive. For you.

Night 67, Year 950

50 years left. Or something. I forgot a few days. If I can wait 950 years, I can wait another 50. Come one, Jenetar. Use what sanity you have left to do this. I know I can.

Night 140, Year 962

Closer. Closer. How old am I now? Maybe Luna will remember. I’ll ask her. She’s on her way now. I’m prepared for you Luna. Right where you left from.

Night 233, Year 976

Getting closer.

Night 310, Year 981

Closer.

Night 75, Year 989

Closer.

Night 189, Year 996

Closer.

Night 364, Year 999

This is it. The night. 1000 years. And all for tonight. My last night alone. Luna arrives tomorrow night. I have done it. I knew I could. Take that, Celestia. Take that, time. Take that, mind. I have beaten you. All of you. All for Luna. Who will come back tomorrow. I might scare her. I’ve lost my sanity completely. I have no grasp of reality at all anymore. Just Luna.

I have failed you once. Never again.

This is my last entry.

My name is Jenetar. I am the sentinel of the Princess of the Night. And I will have my revenge.