Bittersweet Memories

I collapse, exhausted from my struggle against Jenetar. I still don’t know how he stayed alive for this long. I’m too tired to try and figure it out right now. All my magic use has completely drained me, but thankfully, the last of it worked. I lift my head up and glance at him. Still, and lifeless. Yet still breathing. Slowly. A single tear glistens below his glassy eyes. I raise my hoof, sore and tired, and wipe it off. I gently close his eyes. He’s going to have a long sleep.

Holding the limp Jenetar in my weak magic, I fly away towards Canterlot. Ponyville can wait until I’ve dealt with....him. I barely want to think of his name. How did he get to be so powerful for just a regular pony? How did he survive for so long?

How did all this happen?

If Twilight succeeds, I’ll have to have a talk with Luna.

I need to keep Jenetar hidden. I’ll explain to everypony later.

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In the midst of her return party, I whisper to Luna, “It’s about him. We need to talk later.” She gasps softly, then nods slowly. I worry that her mood will give away that something’s wrong, but Pinkie Pie’s antics cheer her up quickly. Back in the castle will be the best place for privacy.

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Back in Canterlot, finally. The party was great; Pinkie Pie never disappoints when it comes to parties, but this matter has waited long enough. The whole chariot ride over, Luna has had a sorrowful expression. We enter the castle, after many welcomes from the Canterlot ponies, and head straight to the throne room.

“Leave us,” I tell the guards. They turn and look at me. That sounded a bit harsh.

I sigh, “We have important matters to discuss.”

“At once, your majesty.”

I look over at Luna. The doors close with an echoey clang. She looks down, sorrow and loss almost glowing in her eyes. A long silence passes before she asks, “What happened to him?”

I close my eyes and sigh. No sense keeping him from her. I lead Luna to her room and open the doors, revealing the purple pegasus lifelessly sleeping on her bed. She gasps and rushes over to him. She hovers her hoof over his head, then returns it to the floor. I walk next to her, wary of not getting too close to Jenetar, and stand beside her as she stares at him.

“...Luna...?”

She doesn’t look up, “....What....?”

“What did you do?”

She sighs. “Before you banished me to the moon, I remember you shooting a bolt of magic at me. I remember it, because I don’t remember it hitting me. It hit Jenetar. He saved me from it. Just like he was meant to do. Like he wanted to.”

Tears begin to form in her eyes as she continues, “I knew that resisting you would amount to nothing, but I couldn’t stand the thought of never seeing him again.”

She sniffs, then, “I used magic on him that would keep him alive until I returned. I paused his age. I was able to watch him from the moon, and it broke my heart to see what being alone had done to him. He lost his mind, went completely crazy.”

She sniffs again, but straightens up. “But at the same time, he was preparing himself. I think......I think he felt so guilty for what happened to me, that he couldn’t save me, that he spend the entire 1000 years training himself to be invincible, like he did for the three years I spent in Canterlot for the princess training.....thing.”

I can barely take this all in.

“I could hear his conversations he had with himself,” she says woefully. “He blamed you for what happened. He felt that if it wasn’t for you, he could have lived a happy life with me. He hated you for taking that away from him, and felt grateful to me for giving him another chance. He took it to mean that he had to get revenge. He wanted to get you out of the way so that it would only be me and him. I felt so sorry for him, but...” sniff, “I was angry at you too, and I....I wanted that too. I don’t want you gone now, but back then...”

She starts sniffing some more. I wrap her in my wing, trying my best to keep her from crying. I need to hear the rest.

“And when I came back, his mind was so warped and twisted, I worried for his safety. But when he saw me.....I could feel him become........‘him’ again. And I knew what he wanted to do, and, at the time, I wanted it too. I.....I sent him after you.”

My sister sent him. My sister had meant to kill me. But, that was Nightmare Moon. I don’t think Luna really meant to do that.

“And I’m sure you know the rest,” she sniffs, still transfixed on Jenetar.

A long silence passes as I try and comprehend everything. Luna breaks the silence with a whisper.

“What did you do to him?”

I sigh. She won’t like hearing it. I didn’t want to do it either, but it had to be done. I need to be as gentle as possible telling her, but no sense sugarcoating it.

“I erased his memory.”

Luna breaks her gaze on Jenetar and whips around to face me, teary and wide eyed in shock, “You WHAT?!”

“I had to, Luna.”

Her eyes fill with tears again, “Why?”

“Now hear me out, little sister,” I begin. I can only hope she will see my logic, “I used a spell to erase both his memory, and his emotions. He had so much rage and anger that I had to get rid of his emotions. And I erased his memory so he wouldn’t remember what happened to him. When he wakes up, he’ll be able to live a normal life.” My mind flashes back to our battle. “......I think.”

Luna’s face becomes slightly confused, “What do you mean, ‘you think?’”

“If I remember correctly, our battle was situated over Ponyville. Meaning everypony might have seen it.”

Luna looks down, then back up at me, “So what?”

I sigh again, “We need something to do with him when he wakes up.”

Her face lights up. “You mean he’s going to wake up?”

Wait, why is she so happy all of a sudden?

Oh. I didn’t tell her yet.

“Oh thank goodness! I’ll wait for him!” She turns to him and places her hoof on Jenetar’s cheek, “....like he waited for me.”

I reach out and take her hoof from his face. She won’t like hearing this either.

“Luna....you can’t see him when he wakes up.”

She recoils, “What?! Why not?!”

“The spell I used to erase his memory, the spell doesn’t erase it entirely.” Using my magic, I pick up a book from Luna’s desk, already opened to a page from when I read it before.

“See, look.” I show her the page. She takes it from me and reads aloud.

“‘Amnesia spell’ blah blah blah ‘erase memory’ blah blah blah ‘WILL NOT WORK TWICE’.....huh..... blah blah blah blah ‘WARNING! This spell has a chance to not entirely erase the subject’s memory. For practicality, the subject’s identity will remain remembered. However, the subject may retain a memory keystone.’”

She contorts her face, “Memory keystone?” She continues reading, “A memory keystone is an object, pony, or idea that is the subject’s strongest or most cherished memory. If the subject remembers this memory, the spell will become ineffective, resulting in the subject completely regaining their memory.”

She puts down the book. “So what?”

“Don’t you get it, Luna?”

“Nnnnnnoooo?”

“It’s you.”

She gasps, then turns towards Jenetar.

“You are his fondest memory. If he were to remember you at all, anything about you, his memory would come back.”

Luna becomes frantic, simultaneously expressing sadness, confusion, and panic. Her attention darts between me and Jenetar. “But, why is that.....?! What’s wrong with.......?! I.....I don’t......?!”

I put my wing around her, and she calms down a little, focusing her attention on me. “Don’t you get it, little sister? If he were to remember everything, who knows what could happen to him? He might not be able to even handle all of the memories. Or what if he could? He might come after me, after all of Ponyville. He may want to finish what he started: a world with only him and you.”

She gasps in shock, then solemnly nods. Thank goodness she understands.

She sniffs, “So you mean.......you mean......I’ll never be able to see him again?”

“Unfortunately, yes.”

She stares blankly at me. Her mind must be trying to grasp all this without breaking down. At least, that’s what I assume is going on. I feel so bad for her.

“Luna...”

She turns around, “Yes?”

“We need to do something with him.”

She turns back around and pets his hair, “What about Ponyville?”

Ponyville? “Luna, are you serious? They saw everything. They saw him try to kill me. They would never get over it.”

She looks back at me, “Twilight can watch over him. And the others.”

“Hmmmm.....” That isn’t a bad idea. I can instruct Twilight and the others to make sure he lives a normal life. They can make sure he keeps away from things that he might recognize, and it would keep him from being alone.

But there’s the other ponies to consider. They all saw what he did; what he’s capable of. They wouldn’t be able to treat him normally. But there’s no better option. It’s not wise to risk him being alone. No doubt that by now, word has spread to others, possibly Cloudsdale, and perhaps even Canterlot. He’d probably be seen as a monster anywhere I send him to. And he is a monster. Maybe not anymore, but I don’t want anything to do with him when he wakes up.

I’ve made up my mind. I’ll tell Twilight and her new friends about Jenetar, and inform the rest of Ponyville about him. I’ll be sure to tell them not to mention what happened to him. I’ll have to do that with Cloudsdale and Canterlot eventually too.

“Alright Luna, I’ll do that. That’s a very good plan.”

“What is? Taking Jenetar to Ponyville? But what about the other ponies? The ones who saw him that night?”

I blink, “I’ll address them personally.”

Luna nods, “Ok...” She looks up at me, “Big sister?”

I look down at her, “Yes?”

“Would you allow Twilight and the others to write me letters about him? After he wakes up?”

“What do you mean, Luna?”

“Like how you told Twilight to send you letters about friendship. Could they send me letters about what they do with Jenetar?”

I ponder this for a moment. I suppose if they were careful to keep the letters away from him, it wouldn’t hurt to allow Luna to hear about Jenetar once in a while.

“Ok, I’ll talk to Twilight about it.”

Luna smiles a little, “Oh, thank you, big sister!” She rubs her eyes, “What about in the meantime? Should we wake him up?”

“No, I don’t think that would be a good idea. The coma he’s in is from the emotion spell.”

Luna is taken back, “THIS is from the emotion spell?!”

I nod, “Yes. It was only supposed to make his mind blank for a few moments. But he had so much anger released at once, his mind must have shut down for a while.”

Luna looks at him, “When will he wake up?”

I shake my head, “I don’t know. It could be years. We’ll need to keep him somewhere until he wakes up.”

I start thinking. He will have to wake up close enough to Ponyville so Twilight and the others will find him before he does anything. What would be a good place...........hmmmm........

“The Everfree Forest?” Luna interrupts my thoughts. The Everfree Forest? That’s not a bad idea.

“That might work. But what about other ponies? Ponies venture in the forest all the time. And all the wild animals...”

“What if we use our magic to make sure nopony finds him? We could keep him hidden from the world until he wakes up.”

“How?” I ask. This is beginning to sound like a good idea.

“We could just keep him in an area that we make inaccessible. Someplace that nopony would ever find.”

“How?”

“With our magic. We’ll enchant the place, or something, so nopony will ever find it. Then we can leave Jenetar there to...” she looks at him on her bed, “...sleep.”

I think this over for a second. This is probably the best thing to do. “Ok, Luna. We’ll go find a place tonight, so nopony will see us. You take him with us, ok?”

She looks at me solemnly, “So, this’ll be the last night I see him?”

I close my eyes, “Yes, little sister. I’m sorry, but it must be this way.”

She takes a deep sigh, “I know...”

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I watch Luna as she brings out the moon for the first time in 1000 years. It’s impressive that she still remembers how. When she finishes, she looks at me, sad. She knows what we have to do. I don’t really want to either. I’d rather have Luna be happy. But it has to be done.

She doesn’t say anything to me. She just hangs her head and starts heading over to her room. I sigh. I really feel bad for her.

We get to her room, where Jenetar lies unconscious on Luna’s bed. Luna sniffs, then picks him up with her magic. She looks at me again, and I nod. It’s time to go.

I open Luna’s bedroom window, and we fly out towards the Everfree Forest. We need to find a place where nopony would ever go. Nopony will ever find him anyway, our magic will make sure of that; I just need to make sure we don’t leave him somewhere ponies already know of.

We head towards the northern end of the forest, close to Ponyville. Jenetar will need to be able to find Ponyville when he wakes up.

After an hour or two of searching for the perfect spot, we finally find a spot close enough to Ponyville, yet out of the way enough where nopony will ever look. A nice patch of grass, surrounded by dense trees. Jenetar will find Ponyville. There’s nowhere else to go out of here. Not even up; too many trees.

Luna gently lays Jenetar on the forest floor, facing him in the direction of Ponyville. She lays down next to him and sighs. I should leave her alone with Jenetar. It will be the last time she’ll get to see him, after all. I fly to the edge of the area, and make my way around a couple trees until I can’t see them anymore. Even without purposefully trying, I can overhear Luna.

“Jenetar? I can’t visit your dreams, because you might remember me. I’m not sure if you can hear me at all right now. I just...”

She sniffs, “...I just wish things didn’t turn out this way. I shouldn’t have sent you after Celestia. I shouldn’t have become so angry in the first place. I don’t know what happened. But...” she sniffs again, “...I’m so proud of you.”

My ears perk up. I know I should respect her privacy, but I can’t help it at this point.

“Even through everything that was happening when it all began, you still sided with me. You saved me. And when I sent you after Celestia, you didn’t hesitate. But I was wrong for all of that in the first place. But I’m still so grateful for everything you did for me.”

“You were my friend when we were little. When I would have been left all alone, you were there for me. Without your friendship, I would have gone through what you did. Being left alone for what seems like an eternity. But not nearly as bad as what you went through.”

Luna sighs. “Most of all, I’m sorry for what I caused you. For the 1000 years of pain you went through. It was horrible for me, too. I had to watch you slowly become a monster...”

Luna’s voice starts cracking as she sniffs again, “...I saw your mind twist into a mess. I had to watch you as you turned from the happy and carefree pony I once knew, into a horrible wreck. And I couldn’t do anything but watch. Because I knew it was my fault. If it wasn’t for me, we could have lived a happy life, together.”

Luna starts sobbing softly. “I’m sorry, Jenetar! This is all my fault! Oh, what have I done to you? I’m so sorry!”

Luna cries by Jenetar’s side for several minutes. It’s getting late. Or, early. I’m going to have to raise the sun soon. I should probably tell Luna.

Luna inhales, and lets out a big sigh. “I have to go now. But it won’t be goodbye entirely. But, you won’t be able to remember me again. I can only hope that you can be as happy as you once were, so many years ago. And even if you can’t remember me, I hope, deep down somewhere, you know that you were the greatest friend I could ever ask for.”

I hear her get up. She sniffs again. I suppose she’s done. I walk out from behind the trees and approach Luna, still crying gently. She looks in my eyes, and wraps her arms around me and cries into my fur. I hug her back. I have to hold back my own emotions. I feel horrible for taking joy in knowing I’ll never see Jenetar again. He’s just, so strong. So unpredictable. So...

...scary.

I hope I never see him again.

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Luna finishes crying after a while, and I lead her out of the clearing. When we get out, we turn back towards it. It’s time to hide it. I look at Luna, who looks at me, and we both nod. I charge my magic, and surround the forest space with a soft glow. Luna does the same, and our magic becomes brighter. All of a sudden, the glow vanishes, leaving the spot looking like it did. But for some reason, it becomes hard to look at. Whenever I try to focus on it, I start looking at and thinking about somewhere else. I suppose that means the spell worked.

Luna sighs again. “Goodbye, my sentinel,” she whispers.

She turns towards the moon and flies off to bring it down, and I get ready to raise the sun. It’s the start of a new day, a day without Jenetar to worry about. Although I still have to address everypony. Cloudsdale, Canterlot, and especially Ponyville will have to know about Jenetar, and how to avoid ruining him. And Twilight Sparkle and her friends. They’ll need special briefing. I’ll take Luna with me for that. Soon, we’ll both get over this, and life will get back to normal.

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I’ll send a letter to Twilight when we get back to the castle, telling her I’m coming to Ponyville tomorrow, and to make sure everypony is there so I can address them all. I’ll also address Cloudsdale, and I’ll address Canterlot last.

This will all work out. I just know it.