Felix and the Maze

by LeenaWrites

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Crossover, Human
Length: 1535

After Marzia is kidnapped and PewDiePie is turned into a pony, our foul-mouthed Swedish hero must navigate a deadly maze to save his girlfriend and get home!

Felix Kjellberg had just wanted to take his girlfriend to dinner. Was that too much to ask? But instead of a romantic evening with his lovely girlfriend, PewDiePie gets trapped inside a deadly maze and his girlfriend is captured. Oh, and he's turned into a unicorn. Now he must fight through hoards of pretty much anything you can think of to find and save his lady.

Rated Teen for swearing and mild gore. And possible nudity.

Hey, lookie, a PewDiePie fanfic! With PONIES!! That should peak anyone's interest.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-12-01 01:29:12 UTC

Chapter 1

Hello, my name is Discord. And I am extremely bored.

Being reformed is absolutely no fun! It's all friendship, friendship, blah, blah... The only pony who makes up for my boredom even a little bit is that little yellow whats-her-mane.

Flutterby, was it?

Whatever.

All this pathetic, boring stuff makes me miss the glory days. Chaos and misfortune around every corner, ponies choking on chocolate rain and the princesses scattered like panicked cockroaches. I was the glorious ruler of a chaotic kingdom, the master puppeteer. My name was known and feared by all.

Yeah, what happened to that?

I would go back to my old ways, but I was forced to swear a solemn oath by Celestia. Well, naturally it wasn't very solemn, since I was involved. But, it was an oath bound in magic, unable to be broken.

I am no longer allowed to use my powers against the citizens of this world or against any of the princesses.

How utterly droll.

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What have we here?

Oh, what could this be? A loophole?

This world can no longer be harmed, that much is true. But, other worlds... are fair game!!!

Hahaha, how brilliant!

Time to mix things up a bit.

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"We should have asked for directions, Felix! Do you even know where we are going?"

"Of course I do! Relax, we'll be fine." Felix replied, shooting his currently pouting girlfriend a sweet smile. It wasn't very effective.

"We've been driving for hours. Admit it, you're lost!" She stated stubbornly, folding her arms in front of her.

"I'm not lost!!"

Felix Kjellberg, or PewDiePie as he was better known, was utterly and completely lost. Whether or not he chose to admit it was another thing entirely. No landmarks or roadsigns looked even remotely familiar and his map was not helping. If anything, the map was making things worse. Then again, he wasn't very good with geography, so what did he know? Maybe the map was out of date.

The place they were trying to find was a restaurant called the Golden Apple, a high class buffet he had discovered just outside of L.A.. He had heard it was classy, with authentic Greek cuisine and nice music. It would have been the perfect place for a romantic dinner. Unfortunately, their chances of finding it were not looking good.

Isn't this just fucking perfect, He thought to himself, scowling and running a hand through his well-combed blonde hair. All he had wanted to do was take Marzia out to a nice dinner. He had rented a tux, combed his hair, and for what? For them to drive for fucking hours without success.

As thick trees, brambles and eerie mist whizzed by, glanced over at Marzia. She was still pouting a bit, resting her chin on her hand. She had dressed herself in a long, graceful black dress and a pair of delicate black heels. Diamond earrings and long brown hair brushed gently against her neck as she sighed and shifted in her seat. The slit in the lower left side of the dress showed just a sliver of smooth, bare skin. It was her favorite dress, one she had received for her birthday.

Felix felt a twinge of guilt in his chest as he turned his attention back to the road. He had promised her a night together, with dinner and nice music. He felt like a failure, knowing that these plans had been ruined.

Marzia had traveled thousands of miles with him, put up with three days of VidCon, and now he couldn't even thank her with dinner. Three days of craziness, meeting fans and signing video game controllers... there was no denying he enjoyed it. But, Marzia wasn't always up to the stressful task. He gripped the steering wheel tightly, rubbing his forehead with his free hand. He had to make this up to her. He had to turn around, find a place to get directions. Maybe he could still salvage the night.

Just because you got lost doesn't mean everything is ruined. You can fix this. He thought to himself encouragingly.

Taking a deep breath, he gently stepped on the brakes and began to make a wide, slow U-turn. Marzia lifted her chin from her hand, looking up at him with surprise.

"Okay, you win. Let's go ask for directions." he conceded, giving her a resigned smile."There has to be a gas station or something around here." At least... I hope there is. I don't want to screw this up any more than I already have, He thought. His spirits began to lift a bit as Marzia gave him a warm smile and a peck on the cheek.

"Thanks, sweetie."

Don't thank me just yet, He thought.

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Felix sighed with relief as a rundown restaurant came into view. Thank God, they had found a place to look for help. It had been hours since they had turned around and the sky had grown dark and stormy. Clouds blotted out the moon and thunder rumbled as they pulled into one of the many empty parking spaces.

The building was small and dirty, its rotting ugliness brought out by the bright glow of their headlights. The sliver and red paint was worn and peeling off of the wood. Absolute darkness peeked out from in between boarded up windows and a neon OPEN sign lay shattered on the damp concrete. The door hung crookedly on rusty hinges and above the entrance, a large, roughly cut sign hung lopsided. Tilting his head and squinting, he managed to make out the writing on the sign. The Golden Apple was printed across it in faded gold letters. Felix opened the door and climbed out of their rental car, his expression shocked.

"This is The Golden Apple? Are you shitting me?" he gasped. This is not at all what the website had shown and not at all what the man had described when he had made reservations at this place. I must have been fucking duped, he thought angrily.

"It's abandoned. But... how?" Marzia asked, climbing out of the passenger side to approach the building. Felix's eyebrows furrowed in thought. Everyone had been raving about this place recently, and yet it looked as if no one had entered in years. How could this be?

His thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a sudden noise. Music, or so it seemed. He could hear the sound of fingers plucking expertly across many delicate strings. He took a step toward the building, both alarmed and entranced.

"It's... not abandoned,"  He murmured, sounding and feeling suddenly distant. "Listen." Felix took a few steps closer to the front door, Marzia following close behind him, leaning forward to pick up the sounds Felix claimed to hear.

There were... voices. The dull roar of idle chatter emanated from within the depths of the odd little building. The clacking of heels on a marble floor was audible, the soft, musical notes of a lyre drifted through the noise. The clinking of wine glasses was heard, along with the faint sounds of a kitchen preparing food. Laughter, talk and the lyre's music where all very enticing. The smell of meat cooking made Felix's mouth water.

And yet, there was something strange about this place. The sounds and smells where delightful, but then why did this building look so... abandoned? Why were there no cars in the parking lot or limo's pulling up to the front? Felix felt a chill roll down his spine as he stepped forward, placing a single hand on the peeled, faded paint on the door. Though these questions pestered him, he pushed them aside. They seemed completely unimportant, for some reason.

Regardless of the circamstances, we need help, he thought stubbornly. And possibly some food. And wine.

"Felix... we could get directions some where else." Marzia said, her voice barely a whisper. She clearly wanted to to go inside as much as he did, to enter a warm and cheerful room. Her eyes were full of painful longing. The music and the scent of food was calling to her, like the Pied Piper playing his flute. Felix turned to her and looked directly into her misty eyes.

"There isn't another place for miles. Our phones died hours ago and we don't even know where the main road is. We need directions and this may be our best chance."

He put on his best brave face and intertwined his fingers with hers, hoping she would still be willing to follow him. His attempts to rationalize this odd situation gave them both the push they needed. She returned his smile and together, they pushed the door open with a rusty creak and entered the mysterious building, unaware of what was to come. And frankly? They couldn't care less.

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Oh, would you look at that! My playthings have arrived.

Oh, were you expecting to play as well? Well, I'm afraid these are my little puppets. If you want to play, go get your own.

But, nopony ever said you can't watch these precarious events unfold. Sit back and enjoy, I suppose. But don't you dare forget...

I'm the one pulling the strings.