Choose Your Pony Adventure

Chapters

Call your psychiatrist
Wait for your nice friends in the white lab coats
Crawl into the tunnel and check out the meadow
Stay right where you are and hope for the tunnel to open again
Go with Twilight Sparkle and her friends
Stay under the bush and wait so you can go back to the meadow after they leave
Go deeper into the Everfree Forest
Go into the hospital peacefully
Tell them that you feel fine now and try to get away
Start Here
Go into the kitchen
Change your mind and decide to go to the pony hospital after all

Call your psychiatrist

"Hello, Doctor Herbert? Look, uh, you see, I'm seeing a floating tunnel in the corner of my living room?"

"You mean there's a hole in your wall?" the doctor asks.

"No, no... it's, uh, it's a tunnel with no back or sides on the outside that's just kind of floating there in the middle of the air," you tell him with a quavering voice, knowing just how insane it must sound to anyone not seeing it. After all, you are seeing it and you can't believe it's happening. That's why you're calling Doctor Herbert.

"Let me be sure that I'm understanding you. You're seeing a floating tunnel that has only an inside and no outside in the corner of your living room?"

"Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying," you tell him, "You believe me, right?"

"I believe that you're being honest with me about what you're experiencing," the doctor replies with his practiced calm and clinically warm voice, "but I think you should stay away from it. I'm going to make a call and some people will be there shortly to pick you up and make sure your safe. Then we'll talk about this tomorrow. Okay?"

"I'm not sure you need to send anyone-"

"Don't worry," he says, interrupting you, "it's no trouble at all. We're all here to help you."

"Okay, Doc, you know what's best."

"That's right," he says calmly, "now, are you still in the room with the tunnel?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, that has to be very unnerving for you. Why don't you go relax in a different room while you wait for our friends to arrive? Okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah, that's a good idea, Doc. Is it okay if I hang up now?"

"If you feel like you can remain calm until our friends get there, I suppose it should be fine, but remember, you can call me back. I'll be right here by the phone."

"Okay," you say, "thanks, Doc, you've been a big help. Bye."

You hang up the phone and look back at the tunnel. It's still there, as unreal, unreasonable, and impossible as ever. Everything about it should make your hair stand on end, but for some reason, you feel like it's familiar. Something about it pulls at the base of your mind and tickles your thoughts, like trying to remember a dream that seems to slip away even further the more you focus on remembering.

"They're going to take me back to the hospital again. Terrible food. Surrounded by nut jobs. I don't want to go back there," you mutter to yourself as you stand in front of the tunnel.

Choose your pony adventure:
Go into a different room
Crawl into the tunnel and check out the meadow

Wait for your nice friends in the white lab coats

You stay in the kitchen and while only about thirty minutes pass, it feels like hours, but eventually, you're startled out of your thoughts of returning to the hospital by a series of three loud knocks on the front door.

"I'll be right there," you shout as you make your way through the living room while trying to avoid looking at the tunnel that has refused to vanish.

You open the door and see a pair of neatly dressed emergency medical workers. One is tall, lanky, and a little rough around the edges, but has a friendly manner. The other is shorter, bald, stocky, and seems to exude an all business attitude. They both smile at you as you let them in.

"Doctor Herbert called- what the?" the tall one starts speaking to you, but stops and drops his small first aid kit as he stares at the tunnel floating impossibly in the corner of your living room, "That's- that can't really be there. Bob, you seeing this?"

"Yeah, Mike, I see it, but it's got to be some sort of trick. Look, kid, you can't go setting up Halloween special effects and then having your doctor call us out. There could be people who need real help out there while you're wasting our time."

"Wait. You guys... you guys see it too?"

"Of course we see it," Bob says flatly, "but we're not going to be fooled by some special effects kit."

"You guys are messing with me. You should know better than to mess with people who have mental problems."

"We're messing with you?" Bob asks as he arches an eyebrow, "Look, kid, we don't have time for this. Are you coming with us to the hospital or are you staying here with your little light show?"

"Look... I... I... Look I'll prove to you it's not there. I'll prove to you that the tunnel is just in my head!"

Choose your pony adventure:
Crawl into the tunnel and show them there's no tunnel!

Crawl into the tunnel and check out the meadow

You crawl head first into the impossible tunnel. The walls are as smooth as glass, but feel sturdy, and seem to pulse with some sort of gentle beat. As you crawl deeper into the tunnel, a warm breeze brushes past your cheeks and you smell the faint aroma of fresh apple pie mingling with the scent of wildflowers.

"I'm sure I'll run headfirst into the wall any time now," you say to yourself, though you're aware that you seem to have crawled much further than the distance of the tunnel opening to your wall.

"Maybe I already ran into the wall and hit my head and I'm dreaming," you think to yourself. "Maybe I should turn around."

However, just as you're hesitating, it's as if the tunnel suddenly tilts downward and you feel yourself begin to slide towards the opening facing the meadow. Faster and faster you slide as if gravity itself is increasing as you plummet. You try to slow yourself, to stop your descent, but there's no purchase for your hands on the smooth glassy surface of the tunnel. In a moment you're flying through the air, tumbling head first into a grassy knoll, and after the stars and clouds clear from your eyes, you find yourself staring up into a pale blue sky.

"Oh wow! That was really neat! Where'd you come from? Are you all right?" a high pitched voice seems to ask every question at the same time.

"I'm, yeah, I'm fine," you say as you turn your head to look towards the sound of the voice.

"Are you behind the... the uh... the pink pony?"

"Oh, silly! Did you hit your head really hard? I am the pink pony!" she says. "My name's Pinkie Pie and these are my friends, Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Apple Jack, Fluttershy, and Rarity!"

You sit up slightly and look at the other incredibly odd colored ponies the pink one is gesturing towards. Purple, sky blue, orange, yellow, and white with a purple mane - all quite certainly not normal pony colors.

"Pinkie Pie, dear, please do calm down. The poor fellow is probably confused enough from that fall. Oh, you poor thing. We saw you come hurtling out of the sky. However did you get there in the first place?"

"I, uh, there was a tunnel and um-" you try to explain but every thought feels fuzzy and distant. "Are you really talking ponies?"

"You must have hit your head hard," the purple one says. "What other kinds of ponies are there?"

"Normally, they don't talk..."

"Well you're a pony and you talk," the sky blue one says.

"I'm a what now?" you ask as you look at the ponies around you and then at your hands- no not your hands. You're not sure what these hooves are doing at the end of your arms or why your arms are covered in a fine red fur.

"Maybe we should get him back to the Ponyville Hospital," the yellow one, Fluttershy, says.

"I think you've got a right good idea, Sugarcube," Apple Jack says with a country drawl.

"I- I don't think I should go anywhere. Look, the tunnel," you look around to point out the tunnel to these strange, talking ponies, but can't see it anywhere at all.

"It was right here! You saw it right?" you ask as you try to stand, but fall back to the ground. Attempting to stand on two feet, or hooves, was probably a bad idea.

"All we saw was you falling out of the sky," Twilight Sparkle says with more than a little concern in her voice. "Why don't you try to calm down and tell us what happened. Let's start with your name?"

"My name is... um... my name..." you press your hooves into your temples. "I know my name... it's... it's..."

"Well, that tears it! We gotta get him to the hospital now!" Apple Jack says sternly.

"You're right! Dash, you fly ahead and tell them we're bringing in an emergency."

"Right Twi!" the pale blue pony says before sprouting wings and flying into the sky.

"None of this makes sense," you say as you continue to grasp your temples and try to understand what's going on.

"Can you walk? If you can't, then we can build a stretcher, right AJ?" Twilight asks.

"Sure can," Apple Jack says.

"I don't know if I should go anywhere... The tunnel should be..." you start to say.

"I think you have more important things to worry about than a tunnel," Twilight says sternly. "AJ, you, Fluttershy, and I will handle building the stretcher. Pinkie and Rarity, will you two keep him company and make sure he doesn't get any worse?"

"Oh, but of course we will," Rarity says.

"Sure thing, Twilight!" Pinkie Pie says in very nearly a chirp.

Choose your pony adventure:
Go with Twilight Sparkle and her friends
Stay right where you are and hope for the tunnel to open again

Stay right where you are and hope for the tunnel to open again

"I really need to get back," you say to the white unicorn with the purple mane.

"Oh, don't be silly, you need to get to the hospital and that's just what we're going to help you do," she replies while smiling at you.

"But, I don't belong here... I have to find the tunnel... I'm not a pony... I'm-" you say while turning to the pink one.

"You're really a hairless ape from another world where you use machines instead of magic and you fell through a tunnel into our world and forgot your name! Right?"

"Exac-" you start to agree but Rarity cuts you off midway.

"Oh, Pinkie Pie, really! Don't bother the poor thing. He's obviously had a hard enough time of it as it is today without all of your... special kind of reasoning."

"Okie dokie Loki."

As they begin to chat with one another you continue to look around for the tunnel that brought you to this crazy world. You can see a shady woods not far from where you're sitting with the two strange ponies and figure it could be a decent place to hide. If they take you to the pony hospital, who knows if you'll ever find the tunnel again.

"What's that over there?" You shout while waving a hoof in the opposite direction of the woods. As the two ponies turn to look, you stumble to your feet, or hooves, and try to run towards the woods as fast as you can.

"Oh, is it cotton candy clouds with chocolate milk rain?" the pink one shouts.

"There's nothing over there," Rarity says as she turns to face you again and instead sees your flank charging towards the forest.

"Wait! That's the Everfree forest! That's no place for a pony with a head injury," she shouts as they both start to run after you.

You manage to get to the edge of the forest before them and burst through the underbrush into the cool dark interior. You quickly look around for any kind of cover and, as you hear their hooves closing in on the edge of the forest, you spot an uprooted fallen tree with a mostly dead bush near it. You dive into the hole where the roots have been torn up and pull the dried, but still leafy bush over yourself.

"He just went in here, he can't possibly be very far," you hear the one with the transatlantic accent say.

"I dunno, Rarity, maybe he knows how to teleport. I mean, how'd he get into the sky before he fell out of it?"

"Don't be silly. Only unicorns can cast spells. Come now, he must be further in."

You hear the ponies take a few more steps into the forest and then suddenly stop.

"Maybe we should get Twilight and the others," Rarity says with a shudder in her voice.

"Yeah, I think you're right."

You hear their hoof-steps clack away into the distance, away from your hiding place.

Choose your pony adventure:
Stay under the bush and wait so you can go back to the meadow after they leave
Change your mind and decide to go to the pony hospital after all
Go deeper into the Everfree Forest

Go with Twilight Sparkle and her friends

"I really need to get back," you say to the white unicorn with the purple mane.

"Oh, don't be silly, you need to get to the hospital and that's just what we're going to help you do," she replies while smiling at you.

"But, I don't belong here... I have to find the tunnel... I'm not a pony... I'm-" you say while turning to the pink one.

"You're really a hairless ape from another world where you use machines instead of magic and you fell through a tunnel into our world and forgot your name! Right?"

"Exac-" you start to agree but Rarity cuts you off midway.

"Oh, Pinkie Pie, really! Don't bother the poor thing. He's obviously had a hard enough time of it as it is today without all of your... special kind of reasoning."

"Okie dokie Loki."

"If I go to the hospital and they say I'm fine, then will you guys believe that I fell out of a tunnel?" you ask them both.

"I already do!" Pinkie Pie says cheerily.

"Sweety, I believe that you think you fell out of a tunnel and who knows, maybe you did. After all, Twilight has made stranger things happen in Ponyville before," Rarity said with a kind smile.

"Okay then, I'll go to the hospital," you agree.

You watch as the other three ponies gather sticks and use rope from one of their saddle bags to tie them together into a simple stretcher that they can drag between two of them. At first, you're amazed at how much they can accomplish with just hooves and mouths, but then the purple unicorn's horn starts glowing and the rope glows with it as it seems to tie itself around the sticks.

"Is that magic?" you say out loud.

"Of course it's magic, silly! What do you think it is? Popcorn?" the pink one says and then laughs.

"I- what? I've just never seen magic before," you say.

"Oh, that's nothing! You should see her turn a bird into an orange!"

The other three eventually drag the finished stretcher over to where you're sitting with Pinkie and Rarity.

"I'm not sure if I need that after all. I think I've got the hang of these legs now," you say as you stand up and wobble a bit.

Applejack raises an eyebrow and looks at Twilight who has the same expression on her face.

"No, I think we'll just play it safe and take you to the hospital on the stretcher," Twilight insists.

"But, I-" you start to argue, but a sharp look from the purple one stops you, "I'll just get on the stretcher."

After a very bumpy hour, you arrive at a small hospital in the center of a town that looks remarkably human, except for the fact that everyone in it is a technicolor, talking, and in several instances clothes wearing, pony.

Choose your pony adventure:
Go into the hospital peacefully
Tell them that you feel fine now and try to get away

Stay under the bush and wait so you can go back to the meadow after they leave

You decide it's best to stay tucked under the dry bush and to wait for the strangely colored, flying, horned, talking ponies to go away so you can get back to finding the tunnel that brought you here. You're not completely sure that there really is a here, after all, this could all be some sort of delusional mental breakdown, but you figure you might as well treat the reality you're presented with as if it is real. You figure that maybe the tunnel is your way out of the world or maybe it's your way out of the delusion, either way, it's a way out.

Despite the unbelievable things you've seen, the rich smell of the soil around you in the hole you're hiding in and the occasional bug crawling up your arm or leg insist that your experience is very real.

"He ran in right over here," you hear Rarity call out from the edge of the forest.

"He could be anywhere now," you hear Twilight say with a sigh.

"Come on, girls, what're we waiting for? We've gotta find that loco pony with the head injury before he gets into trouble!" Pinkie Pie shouts gleefully.

"You're right Pinkie. Okay, everypony fan out just far enough that you can still see at least one other pony and start walking forward. If you see any sign of him, give a shout and we'll all come to you. Got it?" you hear the purple one say to her friends and then a short scuffle of hooves as they all get into position.

After a few minutes of listening to their hoof-steps and the crunch of underbrush fade into the distance, you finally pull yourself out of the hole under the bush and look around to make sure none of them stayed behind. Satisfied that they've all gone further into the forest to look for you, you decide it's time to get back to the meadow and find the tunnel home.

You blink against the incredibly bright sun as you step back out of the Everfree forest into the meadow. The talking ponies had said several times that you'd fallen out of the sky, so you decide to keep your eyes up while you look for the tunnel home. Your wobbly horse legs seem to get a little less wobbly with each step, but you manage to fall and scrape your knees more than once.

"Where is it?" you say as you decide to take a break from looking and sit on a grassy knoll covered in tiny flowers.

You watch as a swarm of yellow, blue, and pink butterflies drift towards you like some sort of living cloud. The cloud envelops you for a moment, the delicate wings casting colored shadows on the ground, your arms, and your eyes before drifting off again leaving you with a sense of calm, unlike anything you'd experienced before.

"I shouldn't be calm," you say to yourself, "I'm stuck in some alien world full of talking animals... but it doesn't seem so bad. Not really bad. But I need to get home. I don't belong here."

Choose your pony adventure:
[[Go back into the forest to look for the ponies in hopes that they can help you]]
[[Run away from that forest and those confoundedly impossible talking ponies]]
[[Fall asleep on the grassy knoll]]

Go deeper into the Everfree Forest

As soon as you're sure the coast is clear you leap out of your hole in the ground and charge deeper into the Everfree Forest, or at least that's what you're pretty sure they called this place. It is full of deep shadows, strange flowers, and gnarled trees, but somehow feels more natural than the meadow you just left behind.

"Something about that meadow was just a little too perfect," you think to yourself, "more like a garden that's kept under strict control than a wild place."

"Then again, I just fell through a floating tunnel into a land of talking ponies, and turned into a pony myself - so what do I know about what's natural," you mutter.

As you continue deeper into the woods you slow down to a walk since you're still not completely comfortable on your new legs and... hooves. You figure that the forest is probably big and wild enough that the ponies will have a hard time tracking you down anyway, so you might as well keep a steady pace instead of wearing yourself out.

The setting sun casts long shadows which seem to layer on top of each other to form inky darkness. A chill breeze picks up and you finally notice that you don't have any clothes on your new body. You blush for a moment thinking about all of the girl ponies you met earlier while completely naked, but then wonder why being naked in front of some ponies should bother you.

"Just before the summer rain / it's time to patch the roof again," you hear a voice with an exotic accent say.

You quickly duck behind a tree and peek around to see a zebra wearing gold necklaces, bracelets, and even earrings climbing a ladder into the branches of a tree with windows and a door built into it.

"A zebra that lives in a treehouse, I mean a house made out of a tree?" you wonder to yourself.

You watch as the zebra climbs up to the top of a couple of thicker branches and paints what looks like tar over sections of it for a couple of hours. Every so often she bursts out into little snippets of song in a language you don't understand, but somehow the songs put you at ease. You notice that she has a tendency to talk to herself, but as it seems that she lives out in the forest all alone, you can understand why.

When she climbs down the ladder she looks up at the sky through the spaces between the leaves of the trees and sniffs the air a few times.

"Ah, tis good, I've beat the rain / now my rug it will not stain," she says then smiles and goes into her hut made out of a hollowed tree.

A moment later, lightning flashes in the sky, thunder roars, and great globules of rain start falling out of the sky, stinging your face and back with every drop. You look around and notice that there only shelter, other than inside the hut itself, is underneath the awning of a window at the side of the hut and so you quickly duck under it while trying your best to stay low and not be seen.

Choose your pony adventure:
[[Check out the zebra's house by peeking in through the window]]
[[Knock on the door and ask if you can get out of the rain]]
[[Go even further into the Everfree Forest all alone]]

Go into the hospital peacefully

A small dirt lane leads up to the teal front doors of the hospital. The building itself is a mix of warm earthy colors, dull yellows and reddish browns. It's not at all like the cold, sterile, functional, but overall institutional hospitals of your world. This one looks as if it might not have all the latest technology, but there's an air of welcoming and deep care.

You walk through the double doors of the hospital into the main waiting room where you see several ponies on couches waiting for treatment. From behind a large desk, a white pony with pink hair in a little bun wearing an old style nurses hat looks at you as you enter, still a little wobbly with each step.

"How can I help you today?" she asks as you and the other ponies approach the desk.

"Well, our friend here fell out of the sky and can't remember his name," Twilight says as she looks between you and the nurse.

"Fell out of the sky? How'd that happen? Never mind! Nurse Sweetheart, get this pony to the emergency room stat and page the doctor."

"Yes, Nurse Redheart, right away. Please, right this way sir," a dusty blue pony that seems to have walked up while you weren't paying attention says as she motions for you to follow.

"I'll need you to fill out these forms," you hear Nurse Redheart say to the other ponies and then with some exasperation, "Fell out of the sky? Tell me the truth, Dash, did you drop him while trying to do some sort of trick flying?"

"I wouldn't drop anyone and no that's not what happened!"

Nurse Sweetheart notices you looking back at your new friends and smiles.

"Don't worry, I'm sure Redheart won't give them too much trouble. She's just a stickler for rules and regulations."

"Oh, okay," you say as you resume following her.

She leads you to a bed in a room with three other beds and curtains that can be drawn between them. In a lot of ways, it's just like the human hospitals you're used to, though you weren't really expecting furniture in a world full of talking ponies.

"Then again, what should I expect in a world full of talking ponies?" you think to yourself as you climb up on the bed.

At first, you try to lay as you think a horse would, tucking your legs under your body, but Nurse Sweetheart gives you an odd look and says, "if you just lie back now, the doctor will be here in just a moment."

It takes you a couple tries, but you realize that laying back against the pillow actually feels far more comfortable than tucking your legs under your body. It seems that these pony bodies are not quite what you're used to back home.

You notice that the Nurse seems to be holding a clipboard with one hoof and writing with a pen that she has in her mouth.

"How are you doing that?"

"Hm?" she asks as she tucks the pen into the top of the clipboard, "How am I doing what?"

"How are you holding a clipboard?"

"With my hoof. How else would I hold it?" she says as a concerned frown spreads across her face, "You must have hit your head pretty hard. I'll be right back with the doctor."

She tucks the clipboard onto the end of your bed and quickly leaves the room in search of the doctor. Left alone, you start to look around the emergency room and find it uncanny how many of the things look like medical instruments from your own world. There are tongue depressors in a large jar, a stethoscope set hanging on the wall, a large container of cotton balls, all the things that you'd expect in a human hospital.

A light-caramel-brown pony wearing a white lab coat over a shirt and tie with dark brown mane in a tall pomp walks into the room followed closely by Nurse Sweetheart and smiles at you reassuringly.

"Hello there, I'm Doctor Stable. I hear you had a fairly nasty fall earlier."

"Uh, yeah, it seems that way," you say.

"And you're having trouble remembering your name? Is that correct?"

"Yes."

"Is there anything else you're having trouble remembering? Can you recall where you live? The names of your family? Friends?"

"I, uh," you realize that while you can remember birthday parties, going to school, your job, and so many other details, that the names of your family, your friends, all of it has vanished, "I... can't remember..."

"Hm," the doctor says thoughtfully as he pulls out a small light and shines it into each of your eyes in turn then pulls a pen from his shirt pocket and waves it slowly back and forth, "Please follow the pen with your eyes, but keep your head still. Hm. It doesn't look like you have a concussion. You can't remember anything about where you're from or how you managed to fall from the sky?"

"I... well..."

Choose your pony adventure:
[[Tell Doctor Stable that you're from another world and fell through a floating tunnel]]
[[Tell Doctor Stable that you don't remember anything]]

Tell them that you feel fine now and try to get away

"You know, on second thought, I think I feel better now. I probably don't really need to bother with a visit to the hospital. I don't even have insurance," you say as a sudden feeling of dread falls over you and you take a couple steps back from the light brown building that looks more like a large country estate than a hospital.

"Oh! Goody! Then you remember your name now?" Pinkie pipes in happily.

"I, uh, well, you see," you stutter out.

"You don't do you?" Twilight interrupts, "You really need to see a doctor. You won't know how badly your head is hurt until you have a doctor check."

"I- Hey! What's that over there?" you shout as you point off into a random direction. For a moment you're surprised that all the ponies actually look, but then you regain your senses and run towards a large crowd of ponies while they're distracted.

"Is it a polka dot marshmallow alligator shaped cake with a side of wild berry ice cream?" Pinkie asks, her voice bubbling with excitement.

"Hey! Guys, he's getting away!" you hear Rainbow Dash shout.

"Dash! Don't be too rough with him if you catch him. He's an injured pony and probably doesn't really know what he's doing!" you hear Twilight Sparkle shout.

"What do you mean if?" Dash shouts back. You can tell she must be getting closer since her voice sounds louder this time.

You manage to make it into the crowd of ponies and look around for a place to hide before the others catch up. You dodge into a narrow alley between two small buildings and dive under a few wooden pallets leaned up against a wall.

"Do you see him?" you hear Rarity call out from someplace nearby.

"Sorry guys, I lost him in the crowd," Rainbow Dash says dejectedly.

"Okay, this isn't a problem. He can't be too far. Everypony spread out!" Twilight Sparkle says and you hear the other agree.

You hear a few very light hoof-steps enter the alley you're hiding in and then Fluttershy nearly whispering, "Hello? Are you hiding in here? You don't have to be scared. We just want to help you."

Choose your pony adventure:
[[Stay hidden under the pallets]]
[[Make a run for it]]
[[Stop hiding and go back to the hospital]]

Start Here

Friday is finally here, but you're having a hard time getting excited about it. You're sitting in your house, checking out Facebook, and trying to decide what to do for the night. As you scroll through the list of events, you yawn and think about how tired you feel lately. There seems to be no way to balance your work and social responsibilities.

"When did spending time with friends and going to parties turn into a responsibility?" you mutter to yourself.

You stop scrolling through the events as you become lost in thoughts of growing up and growing old, but after a few moments, you become aware of a low buzz that has been slowly growing louder. You turn to look around the room and spot a tiny point of light that is gradually growing larger in one of the corners.

"Oh my god! A fire! No, wait!" you say as you start to get up, but then sit back down. "If it's a fire, then where's the smoke? I should at least be able to smell the wall burning."

You squint at the bead of light it as it slowly expands, first a pea-sized point, then a baseball, a basketball... all the while the buzzing growing louder and louder.

A sudden flash forces your eyes closed and when you open them again you see what looks like a short tunnel floating in the air where the buzzing light had been just a moment ago. The tunnel seems to hang there in the most impossible of ways and when you tilt side to side in your chair you can see that, while you can look down the inside of the tunnel, there's no back or side to it on the outside. You peer deeply into the tunnel with its solid black walls and at the end of it you can just make out a brightly lit meadow on the edge of a beautiful forest.

After a couple of minutes, you work up the courage to approach the tunnel. You walk around it and notice that there's absolutely no back to the tunnel when you press against the wall you can see the entirety of the room, as if the tunnel, the impossible tunnel, doesn't even exist. Keeping your back to the wall, so as to avoid walking through where you know the tunnel is, you find yourself standing in front of it again. With both of your hands shaking you reach one just barely inside and touch the inner walls. The black surface is smooth and warm, like a windshield just before sunset on a hot summer day.

"This can't be real. I mean... it just can't," you say to yourself. "I mean if this is real, then, uh, then reality has stopped working."

You look back and forth between your cell phone on your desk and the impossible tunnel that has somehow invaded your home while trying to decide what to do next.

Choose your pony adventure:
Crawl into the tunnel and check out the meadow
Call your shrink - I mean psychiatrist

Go into the kitchen

You decide to leave the impossible tunnel behind and head into the kitchen. The cold linoleum floor under your bare feet makes it undeniable that you're awake. You had hoped that maybe you were just having a very strange and very bad dream, but it looks like you've just lost your mind, again.

"Maybe I should have something to eat," you think to yourself as you open the refrigerator and stare blankly into it for a few moments.

"I'm going to end up in the hospital again," you mutter as you grab a half gallon of milk and slam the refrigerator door shut.

"Why can't I just have a normal life?" you wonder to yourself as you start to drink straight from the carton.

You stare out the kitchen window into the desolate street outside and wonder where everyone is, though you assume they're all either out having fun with friends or tucked snugly into their beds and couches. You glance towards the doorway to the living room several times, trying to resist the urge to go back in.

"It's not like the tunnel is really there," you assure yourself, "so it's not like it can hurt me."

From the living room, you hear something you weren't expecting. The sound of laughter, of distant voices, birds chirping - all of it echoing as if through a metal pipe.

"It's not real. None of this is real. I just need to get some help, that's all," you mutter to yourself as you run your fingers through your hair, "but if it's not real, then there's no reason for me not to check it out. I mean it's not like the tunnel will actually take me anywhere. I'll just be in my living room."

The sounds from the living room slowly get louder as if they're moving closer to the other end of the tunnel. You wonder who they belong to. You can almost make out what they're saying, but not quite completely, it's as if their words are somehow scrambled on their way through the tunnel, but you can tell that they're all friendly, happy, and excited.

Choose your pony adventure:
Go back into the living room and crawl into the tunnel to check out the meadow
Stay put and wait for your nice friends in the white coats to come and take you away

Change your mind and decide to go to the pony hospital after all

You burst out from under the bush and charge into the forest after the ponies, crashing through the underbrush as fast as you can manage.

"Wait! Wait! I'm sorry! You're right, I should go to the hospital!"

After a moment you see five of the talking ponies race back out of the shadows of the forest to where you're standing. As they gather around you, you stand there, out of breath and wobbling back and forth on your new horse legs.

"Well, it's good to see that you've come to your senses," Twilight says, "but I really wish you hadn't run off in the first place."

"The poor thing is probably just confused from the fall. Don't be too hard on him," Rarity says and then flashes you a smile.

"Well, we should probably get him to the hospital. You do seem to be able to walk okay now," Twilight says as she looks you over, "Do you think you can make it to the hospital?"

"I think so," you say.

You walk with them for a little over an hour and eventually arrive at a small hospital in the center of a town that looks remarkably human, except for the fact that everyone in it is a technicolor, talking, and in several instances clothes wearing, pony.

"If they say I'm fine, then will you guys believe that I fell out of a tunnel?" you ask the ponies.

"I already do!" Pinkie Pie says cheerily.

The rest of the ponies look at each other for a moment before Twilight speaks up.

"We'll be willing to give it some consideration, that is if the doctors say you don't have a head injury," she says.

"It's true though. I don't belong here. I'm-"

"You're really a hairless ape from another world where you use machines instead of magic and you fell through a tunnel into our world and forgot your name! Right?"

"Exac-" you start to agree with pink, happy that someone seems to have an idea of what's going on.

"Oh, Pinkie Pie, really! Don't bother the poor thing. He's obviously had a hard enough time of it as it is today without all of your... special kind of reasoning."

"Okie dokie Loki."

"But if the doctors say I'm okay, you guys will try to help me? Right?" you ask them.

"We Pinkie Promise. Right girls?" Pinkie says while looking excitedly at her friends, "Right?"

After a moment the other five sigh almost simultaneously and say, "Yes, we Pinkie Promise."

"And nobody, but nobody, breaks a Pinkie Promise, so you've got nothing to worry about!" Pinkie says and smiles.

Choose your pony adventure:
Go into the hospital peacefully
Tell them that you feel fine now and try to get away