Even the End of the World has a Tomorrow
Another heave shakes my body, spilling the last of my stomach on the ash-caked ground. I need to find some medical supplies… A second retch marked the beginning of the painful dry-heaves. I spat on the ground to rid the taste of bile. “Buck this wasteland,” I mutter darkly to myself. “Ten bucking years of this crap... Ten years since the world poisoned itself with fire...” I look down at my hooves: a slightly darker shade of gray than the ground and let out a hearty laugh; The kind born from borderline insanity. “Could be worse! I could be a bright pink beacon to everything within a hundred miles!”
The Poison was getting to me. If I passed out here, I would die. I glance back at my saddlebags and harness. Food, guns, ammunition, some random junk: I couldn’t drink any of it, and none of the drugs could help me flush the poison from my system. Anything behind me was too far to make it to; I was walking on pure hope that I would find a town over the next hill. Even ruins held a chance of survival.
Crouching quickly, I prick my ears and listen. ‘Was that… Voices?’ I take a deep breath to steady my nerves and clear my head, slowly slinking over and rest at the crest of a hill: the voices able to reach me clearly, “Well, well... Look who decided to show up… Just when we were in need of a bit of fun…” An arrogant, sneering voice made its way to me in the breeze, carrying all the hostility and malice with it.
A second voice joined in, clearly a mindless follower of the first: “Yea. It was getting real boring around here...”
‘Time to take a peek into somepony’s life...’ I unstrapped my sniper rifle from my back. Peering down the scope, I find my marks. ‘And I might just reach out and touch somepony. … And make a few dark jokes in my head while I get ready to kill somepony…’ Three Bandits had a mare backed up against a large rock, trying to avoid the muzzle of their guns and the edge of their little toy pocketknives. She was mumbling meekly, much to their amusement. I scoff quietly. ‘When will these ponies learn how much of a coward those Bandits are? They have no training, and whatever natural skill they had is fried by chems.’ On a normal day, I would have just left her to her fate, but those Bandits might have water or something for the poison.
I seal our fates with a steady breath. I slowly squeeze the trigger with practiced ease. A knot forms in my stomach as he flops to his side as the suppressed shot rings through the air. Another clean kill. I take aim at the next. A ragged breath this time. The next shot hit his friend, cowering slightly, looking frantically around. He ended his life by ungraciously grinding his face into the dirt.
The last of them, their leader, grabbed the mare and hid behind her. Swearing quietly, I replace my rifle with the suppressed pistol and fly down, low and fast. Banking off sharply, I tear around the boulder, desperate to not be seen on my way down. I land softly on the other side of the boulder. Scarce willing to breathe, I creep around until I can just see his brown mane. I crush it with the pistol grip and throw him on his back, and jab the muzzle under his jaw. “Where is your camp!”
Groggy whimpering. ‘You just gave him a concussion. Cut him a little slack.’ I repeat myself.
This time he seems to register, “A hut... In the f-forest... We found it empty! I swear! We didn’t take it from nopony!” He points to the remains of the Everfree Forrest.
I avert my gaze and pull the trigger, blocking out what I had just done.
I immediately turn him over and search his saddlebags: no food, very little ammo, and a bottle of water. I pull the life-saving fluid up to Celestia’s everlasting light―her and Luna’s last moments in life were spent automating the sun and moon―and look through it. Dirty. I drop it and search the other two. Same results. Dry-heaves and the desolate feeling of hope deserting me hit me simultaneously.
I nearly jump out of my pelt as a hoof rests on my shoulder; I whip around expecting to have missed a Bandit, but find myself looking straight through a clean bottle of water. ‘The mare!’ I chug the water greedily. “Thank you,” I pant out between gulps, “Thank you so much...” I turn to face her for the first time.
Memories from my childhood in Cloudsdale rush back as if they happened a couple months ago, instead of a couple decades.
I slowly turn to the dead Bandits and examine their faces. I turn back towards the confused mare, an equally slow movement. “It’s been a long time... Correct me if I’m wrong… But are those the same mules I beat the snot out of in flight school…?”
Unabated shock hinders her ability to answer.
"How've you been, Dash?" I sit down hard, mostly from fatigue than any shock. I had certainly been through weirder.
“How do you do that?” She asks incredulously. “Every bucking time I’m harassed by those guys, you show up!”
I shrug, "I didn't expect you to be the wandering type," I manage through a yawn, forcing my eyes close.
When her voice made it through, it came as if it were underwater, "…..okay..? Look... We can catch up in Ponyville. I can get you in."
I nod slowly, but hold up a hoof. "Just a sec..." I gather up all the food and ammunition the Bandits had, as well as saddlebags and guns. I stand up and nod, confirming I am ready. "Never hurts to have barter material." She nods and heads off into the hills, myself following.
Pegasi rarely flew these days; it was too dangerous. We risked being shot down out of fear of being an attacker.
"Hey... Thanks for saving me and all back there... I'm glad someponies still care to stand up to bullies." I could not help but chuckle. 'Oh, if she knew it was only desperation that kept me from leaving her to her fate...’ "No problem. I got my ammo back. And a little target practice never hurts."
This time it was her turn to let out a nervous chuckle, "Yea... 'Cause problems are solved by killing these days..."
I nudge her gently, "You know what they were going to do." I got no response. The next half hour of walking was spent in silence.
After a while, Ponyville was visible in the distance, almost looking like a lost ship trapped in the blasted ruins of Equestria. High, curved walls surrounded the city, seemingly erected from an old warehouse or factory of some sort. The sheer size of the walls alone made Ponyville―a simple earth pony village―look like a fortress that put Canterlot to shame. Of course, Canterlot had fallen to the Sick, so it was easy to do.
"Hey! Big Mac! Let us in?"
I look up to see a large red earth pony peering over the walls, "Us?"
‘A simple reply from a simple pony. Short replies mark one of conciseness.’
"Yes, us, Mac. He saved my life. I also knew him as a filly. He's cool. Now are you going to open the gate or are we just going to fly over? I know how much you love opening the gate."
He disappears from view, a simple affirmative drifting over the wall before the gate lumbered open just enough for us to slip in.
Inside was just what you would expect to find in a small settlement: a cluster of houses, mostly shared; a bar, with an inn on top; and a store, plastered in painted signs advertising various things. "We should probably take you to the clinic first,” she said. “You look kind of gray. And not just your coat. Your ears, nose, and eyes are looking kinda bad."
I nod. “Thanks.” It was about all I could manage at this point. I jump slightly as she guides me over to a house with a red plus in the window. Being jumpy saves lives. It was a low-set building, like much of the town painted a light shade of gray. Everything was gray. Anything not gray was visible. And you didn't want to be visible.
As the door-chime tolls when the door swings open on hoof-forged hinges, a red unicorn steps out of the door behind the counter, "Ahh. Well hello Miss Dash and Mister...?"
After a short pause while I make sure I am indeed standing, "Whooves,” pointedly leaving my first name out, only giving the common last name, “I got desperate and drank some poisoned water. I'm pretty sure I threw up most of it. What I didn't isn't in my stomach anymore. I have some chems I can trade you for treatment. I was saving them for a different clinic, but I'm sure you can put them to good use."
"Well... Drop your things by the door and let's see how you are." His voice carried the tone of one who has lived many seasons and seen the world change many times. I oblige and unstrap my saddlebags, keeping my weapons, and follow him, giving a glance at Rainbow Dash as she followed. In the room, he used his magic to test how receptive my pupils were and several other things I couldn't understand in my fatigued state.
"It's a pretty mild case. Seems you've had a rather interesting diet as of late... I won’t say nothin’ about it in front of the lady, but you shouldn't make it a habit,” he announces slowly.
My face flushes out of alarm, my gaze avoiding eye contact. I had no idea how he knew, or how I was going to explain it when she asks. I could feel her questioning gaze burning into my mane, even as short as it was.
"Here,” he interrupts my thoughts, “Take this and finish the water. That'll help the body flush the poison naturally. Then you just sleep it off and take a wicked smelly pee in the morning." He chuckles somewhat creepily.
"Ehm... Thank you for helping me. Will I be staying here, or does your hospitality end at treatment?"
He raises an eyebrow, a gesture that seemed suggestive. "Do you have a place to stay, Wanderer?"
Before I could answer, Rainbow Dash answered for me, "He'll be staying with me. I need to repay him for saving my life."
This time his chuckle is undoubtedly creepy. "Do you need any preventative supplies, Miss Dash?"
I can feel heat come to my face, just as I see color rise in hers, "Uh... No... Pretty sure I don't," she replies quickly.
I take the opportunity to pipe up, "You're kind of creepy. I have a feeling I could pay you by coming in here to pee."
A certain twinkle in his eyes proved me right. "Are you sure, Miss Dash? That library must get awfully lonely with only a blind mare to keep you company..."
An irate voice sounded behind me, "Okay. We're leaving." A sharp tug on my tail confirmed this.
I hastily slid on my saddlebag. "I'm afraid to take the pill now. It might make me sleepwalk back there or something... Anyways, if I'm staying at your place, I really would love to drop off some of the heavier stuff, if that’s okay with you. I can barely keep walking as it is..." I swallow the pill with a gulp of water.
“Sure. Just gotta have you meet Twilight first so she isn’t weirded out,” she comments over her shoulder, flicking her prismatic mane across her shoulders. “I also want to change out of my scouting suit.” She gestures at the black cloth jumpsuit she wore to cover up her cyan fur.
As she leads me to a black husk of a once-great tree, “Before we get too close, you need to know a few things. She’s very smart, but mostly book-smarts. She used to be Princess Celestia’s super-student and has taken her disappearance kind of hard. She also has a habit of experimenting on things, and one of them went wrong a few years ago. She’s missing some fur on her face and is completely blind. There’s also a good chance she’ll watch you while you sleep. Being unable to read has been hard on her.”
I raise an eyebrow at this, but simply nod and follow in quietly behind her as she unlocks the door.
She turns the lights on, she calls out, “Twilight, I’m home.”
While she heads into a room, likely to put the suit away. I stand around in the main room unsure of what to do. As I scan the room, I notice it is mostly empty, save the shelves: no furniture at all. ‘Probably so Twilight doesn’t knock her teeth out on a coffee table.’ As my gaze comes full circle, I come snout-to-snout with a broadly grinning purple mare inches from my face, “Who are you,” it almost creaks out.
My heart, unable to decide between stopping and exploding, seizes up shortly before instinct tells me to leap back and distance myself. “Uhh… Hello… I’m with Dash… I met her out in the Wastes. We knew each other when we were colts.”
That grin never leaves her face―The grin that will never leave my mind, “I didn’t know she used to be a colt. Have you met Spike? He’s my dragon. I raised him from an egg. He’s big and could kill you easily. Don’t hurt her.”
I turn my head away from the unicorn as Dash walks in the room, “I’ll just sleep on the porch if that’s okay with you.”
She cocks her head, “No way. You saved my life. You get a bed. And you still need to meet Twi.”
My head snaps back to where the unicorn was, only to be greeted with empty space. “We met,” I manage to squeak out. “I clear out Bandit camps no problem, I’ve combed the ruins of Canterlot and Cloudsdale, and gone into the tunnels full of the Sick in the Canterlot mountains. And she genuinely scared me…”
“You went to the Canterlot Tunnels?! No way! Oh man! I have to introduce you to my friends! Leave your stuff here and follow me,” she cried enthusiastically.
I dump my saddlebags and rifles by the door and head out, as I step out, she looks me over skeptically, “You know you don’t need the armor or the pistol and knife here, right? It’s safe enough. And you might get harassed a bit about the leather… Ponies still get on edge from that.”
I shake my head, “Nope. I’m taking it. I’ve been to many settlements. It’ll be fine.”
“Okay,” she replies, somewhat dissatisfied, “Well, come on. I’ll explain some stuff as we walk. You know the Elements of Harmony that banished Nightmare Moon and Discord? That’s us. Twilight is the Element of Magic and I’m the Element of Loyalty. Because I’m awesome like that. Then there’s Applejack and Rarity.”
I hold up a hoof to interrupt her, “I just saved an Element of Harmony? And had another one threaten me with a dragon?” I pause briefly, “I thought there were six?”
She hangs her head in sadness, making me regret asking, “Pinkie, the Element of Laughter, never quite understood that most things were poisonous and died pretty soon after the fire,” In a voice barely audible, “I miss being called Dashie…” Resuming her previous tone, “And Fluttershy, the Element of Kindness, lasted for two years on the hope that it would get better. When it didn’t, she just stopped eating and taking care of herself. Just kind of stopped wanting to live.”
Brushing her wing with mine, “When Cloudsdale went down, something happened that caused it to shoot lightning everywhere. Not a single bucking survivor in the entire city when I combed the ruins, and yes, there were ruins. The clouds are still there, embedded into a ditch. When I was searching them, it was before the bodies started to rot. I did what everypony did: Hurried home to find their friends. I found several.” I take a shaky breath before I continue, “The pain and fear they were in was still visible. Parts of their flesh was cooked from the lightning, and when the city crashed, they were flung around. You know… Against the walls…” A second, steadier breath, “I’m just glad the Pegasi never quite lost their warlike culture. Everything I have is from their armory. If I didn’t have it, I’d be dead. And enough of us are gone.” I look her in the eyes, a shade of maroon one can scarcely describe, hoping she got what I had hinted at, “Just remember it can always be worse, and that your friends were thankful to be surrounded by their friends in their final moments. Don’t feel guilty about them. Ever. They died a better death than most.”
She gulped and nodded slightly, “I heard Cloudsdale had fallen, but I didn’t think it did any real damage… I thought it just turned into a land city and if I could find it and survive the wastes, it’d be like the Old World.” Her voice sounded deflated. Almost on the verge of tears.
‘Learning your home city is gone is hard. Learning how bad it was is even harder. I should know.’ I nuzzle her, somewhat awkwardly, “Come on. You said something about your friends?”
She smiles somewhat weakly, “Okay… Follow me.” As she leaves, you can see the sadness in her posture: her prismatic tail was dragging the ground slightly, her wings drooped slightly, and her head was no longer held high and proud. And it was my fault.
As we approach an off-white house, seemingly added onto with the ruins of some form of Gothic building, shouting begins drifting outside. We exchanged a quick glance and hurry our pace to the building, reaching the steps at the same moment a pony is thrown through the door, busting it off its hinges, a purple dragon, slightly larger than the gate guard, huffing in the door-frame, a seething hatred in his eyes. “If you ever pull something like that, I’ll put you in the clinic for a month! And you know how the Doctor loves a long-term patient!”
A slightly frazzled white unicorn pushes past the dragon and magically throws a suitcase at the fallen earth pony, her angered expression fading at the sight of the cyan pegasus, “Oh! Rainbow, darling! Hello! Come in, come in! Bring your friend in too. Unless he wants a shot in on this piece of trash.” She turns and heads back inside.
Dash and I step around the earth pony, as he limps away. As I step up on the porch, the dragon pushes me back, “Don’t try anything or you’ll end up worse off than him.”
I laugh heartily and distance him out of my face, “You must be Spike. Don’t threaten me. Friend, or dead. No middle ground. Understood?” I push past him and head inside; Spike’s fuming audible over the door being wedged forcefully back in place. I take a seat at the table with the other ponies, Spike taking a chair next to me.
“So, Rainbow, who’s your coltfriend? Somepony new?” Her mannerisms suggest she enjoys gossip and a juicy story. “Is he… staying… with you?”
Dash flicked an ear in minor annoyance, but carried on without acknowledging her hinting, “His name is Trotting Whooves. You know those bullies from Cloudsdale that were harassing the town with that Bandit group of theirs? Well, he was the one who beat the snot out of them in flight school, and just saved me from them again today. They had me cornered and were about to―”
“Oh my goodness,” the unicorn interrupted, “Are you ok? What happened? They didn’t… take you, did they?!”
“Rarity,” she asserted, “I’m fine. He killed them before they did anything. He was really far away when he shot them. All I heard was this dull SPLAT! And then he just dropped dead! Then another splat and the last one grabbed me and ducked behind a boulder. But Trotts snuck up behind him somehow and smashed his skull in! That was more of a crunch. And he got where their camp was before he killed him,” her erratic pace slowing down, “He said it was in a cabin the Everfree Forest. Think it might be Zecora’s old place?”
“Oh!” She rests her chin on her forehooves and bats her eyelashes at me, “An adventurer? How exciting! Have you traveled much? Can you tell me about it? Is Canterlot better?!”
The shining hope in her eyes made my next line even harder, “Ponyville is paradise compared to most places. You’re better off here. And Canterlot had fallen to the Sick years ago. The few that were left were in a losing battle living in constant fear of a Sick raid. The Sick would hold up in the tunnels in the mountain. They run too deep to flush them out, and have too many entrances to seal up.” Her eyes were unfocused, gazing off towards the wall. She clearly had an obsession with the capital city. “I’m sorry, but the city was down to two hundred survivors when I was there four years ago. The rest were dead or Sick. And with how the tunnels were when I went in, I don’t think they made it another year.”
She lets out a very long, drawn out sigh before speaking, “I knew they wouldn’t have done well… But… When you say Sick, you seem to be familiar with them. I’ve been making and repairing armor to protect ponies from them for years, but don’t actually know much about them. Are they as bad as ponies say?”
“Yes,” I state without hesitation. “They’ve lost the ability to reason and will attack anypony on sight. They aren’t dangerous alone, but you rarely find them alone. They can gather in groups of up to fifty. The worst part about them though isn’t how dangerous they are, but how much they’ve changed. Sometime with being sick, they turned carnivores. But without carnivore teeth, they stomp the bodies before eating. Their hide is completely covered in blisters and their eyes are glazed over.” I advert my eyes to the center of the table, “Despite all of that, the scariest part is no one knows what causes it. The unicorns in Canterlot thought it had to do with the Poison, but not everypony turns Sick. Some of the working-class earth ponies there thought it was because they ate meat… Celestia I hope that isn’t the case…” I look up and see their puzzled expressions. ‘I guess if I’m going to stay here they should know,’ “A couple months ago, in the Wastes, I got desperate for food. I killed something that wandered out of the Everfree Nature Preserve, built a fire, cooked it, and ate some with the last of my food.”
After a long pause, Rarity spoke up, “Well… How did it taste?” She pulls her head back from our stunned stares, squirming somewhat awkwardly, “Well… I mean… It obviously doesn’t make him Sick, and I don’t really want to try it myself.”
I spend a couple seconds thinking back to it, “Well… It was kind of tough to chew and had a really heavy feeling in my stomach. But it tasted okay and kept me full for a while. I can’t say it was pleasant on the way out, though. Ponies aren’t meant to digest meat.”
Rainbow Dash extends her wings slightly to gain attention, “So how did the Doctor know?” My shrug seemed dissatisfying. “Well, anyways, Rarity, if you’re free, we were going to get the Jack of Apples and go to the bar. You wanna come hang out?”
“I’d love to, darling! Let me just get things picked up and the door working somewhat and I’ll meet you down there, okay? Spike, will you be joining us?” She smiles sweetly at him.
“I don’t think so, Rarity,” Spike answered sadly, “I think I’m going to go see Twilight today. I don’t see her very often anymore. Reminds me of how great the Old Twilight was back in the Twilight Flopple years, you know?”
“I know dear,” Rarity stated sympathetically. “Feel free to stay as long as you like, but if you would please excuse me, I must get things picked up around here. It looks absolutely dreadful. And Trotts, darling, if you ever need your armor repaired, I’ll do it for you free of charge for saving Rainbow, but I’m afraid you’ll have to bring in your own leather. I don’t have any lying about, and I’m not exactly willing to,” she lightly clears her throat, “prepare any. Unless, of course you’re fine with something that isn’t leather.”
I thank her for her generous offer, and Dash and I walk out. As soon as we are a little ways away, I turn to Dash, “Holy buck she’s hot!” Something akin to exasperation slipping in my voice. “How does she do that? She looks like she just came back from a spa!”
She nods knowingly, “Yea she is. I’d tap the buck out of that. But she’s too much of a romantic for a one-time fling, and it takes an awesome pony to tie down The Dash! The Dash needs to soar!” Rainbow Dash changes tone, as if feeling guilty for her outburst, “You know, unless I found an awesome pony to be awesome together with…”
I shove into her side gently, knocking her slightly off course. “You haven’t changed a bit! You have no idea how good it is to meet somepony I knew before.” I sigh contentedly, only to furrow my brow in concern. “I don’t see many ponies with guns. Are guns not allowed for civilian carry, or is Ponyville lacking on that front?”
“The Apple family had some guns.” Her brow equally furrowed in thought. “So did Cheerilee, the school teacher, she had a Class Three permit, she says. The Mayor’s guard had a couple of pistols and a bunch of assorted ammo. Twilight kept a shotgun under her bed because she was the Princess’s student. I thought she was just being paranoid, but then she had to use it on an assassin after Spike tore up half the town. Must’ve drawn attention to her, huh? I think we have about one hundred guns and we traded food and alcohol for a bunch of ammo at one point.”
“One hundred guns?” I exclaim astonished, “In a town of like… four hundred? That’s not a very good ratio. Most settlements I go to have an average of three or four guns per pony! Okay, look. A couple days from now, after I’m rested, I’ll lead a small force to that bandit camp and wipe them out. I’m sure they have guns. Should probably go talk to somepony about that before we start drinking. Who’s in charge of security here?” I was wearing my serious voice, and I knew it.
“That would be our sharpshooter. She’s up in the watchtower watching stuff. Want to go see her now?” I nod sharply, and she mimics my nod. “Follow me.”
I follow her towards the base of an old clock and bell tower that had been stripped of clock and bell and replaced with sandbag and steel walls with a panoramic window. As we ascend the steps, the sound of humming drifts down the stairwell.
On the landing, a gray Pegasus is scanning the horizon with a weak telescope – A spotter’s monocular. “This, Trotts, is the best shot for miles. How do we know? She’s hit every other shot within two miles.”
I raise an eyebrow, “With a civilian rifle? That’s not a .75. Either it’s an exaggeration, or I am very honored to meet you, indeed.”
The gray Pegasus looks up from the telescope, revealing two amber eyes, one of which was severely drifting away. “Hey Trotts! I’m Derpy Whooves! I’m the sniper.” Her voice was thick, like talking through cotton, “You’re the wanderer that came in from the east, right? I saw you come over the hill with Rainbow Dash! Luckily she’s hard to mistake or I might have mistaken you for a Bandit.”
‘Only need one eye to look down a scope…’ I nod in affirmation, “Nice to meet you, Derpy. I do have to ask you something though. What’s the cutie mark of?”
She beams slightly about a question that didn’t involve her eyes, “Well I used to do a lot of snorkeling, so I thought it was from that, but I wasn’t the best. Then I became a mail-mare, so I thought it was bubble wrap, but I kept getting lost and breaking packages because I have pretty much no depth perception. But now it might be a glint from a scope, and I seem to be doing much better at this.” She gestures to my own flank, covered with cured leather padding, “What’s your cutie mark of?”
I scuff the ground with a hoof, “It’s a tea leaf, ‘cause I had a shop in Cloudsdale. But I got in a knife fight with some Bandits and it got slashed and doesn’t look like too much from the scar.”
She nods slowly, “Your cutie mark got cut..?” Her and Dash both wince at the thought. “Owie… Say… Why did you come up here, anyways?”
“I noticed I’m one of very few to carry a gun,” I gesture to my pistol mostly concealed under my wing. “And Dash told me that the whole town only has about one hundred guns. In a town like this, that’s unacceptable. I was able to coax the location of a Bandit camp from the Bandit that was harassing Dash. Well, the one that I didn’t shoot from a range.”
Her eyes light up, albeit in different directions, “You found their camp?! They’ve been giving us trouble since the start! Were you just reporting their location or did you want in?” She grins broadly, giving her a slightly absent look.
“I planned on leading a small group to their camp to help kill when needed and carry the loot back. I’m used to wiping out camps on my own, but a little help would be okay.” I pause, considering if I’d come across as rude or not, “Oh, and don’t make it sound like I would just tag along. I’ve been wandering since I got back from the camping trip that saved me from the Cloudsdale tragedy.”
She nods enthusiastically, “Okay! It’s great to have somepony who knows what they’re doing. But I’m just a sniper. You’ll want to talk to Scootaloo and Big Macintosh about a team. I would tell you to go to Rainbow Dash because she’s in charge of scouting, but she’s already here!”
Dash leads me to a small windowless stone building, and knocks on the door. A few seconds later, an orange Pegasus hefts the heavy iron door open, “Hey Rainbow. Who’s this? New coltfriend?” She steps aside for us to come in.
“Why does everypony assume that,” she mutters, “He knows where the Bandits are hiding out and he wants to take them out and give the loot to the town ‘cause he says we don’t have enough guns! Saves my life and gives the town stuff instead of a asking for a reward! Rarity better watch out, huh?” She raised her head and hoof, expressing her pride at claiming credit for finding me.
I sniff deeply, “I smell sugar and welding oxidizer! And…” I sniff again, thoughtfully, “Bleach and kerosene?”
The orange mare, mimicking Dash’s pose, “Yea! I make all the town’s explosives! See, me and two close friends made this group to find our cutie marks, and after the world exploded, we tried all sorts of things we could never do before! One of those was Cutie Mark Crusaders Bomb Squad!”
I grin slightly, “Well how’d that turn out for you?”
She beams proudly, “I got my cutie mark!” Her happiness leaving her in an almost-visible cloud, “But my friends’ special talents wasn’t bomb making…”
I nod slowly, eyebrows raised, “Oh… Well… Uhhm… That’s unfortunate… At least it was quick…” I pause awkwardly, unsure of how to continue, “So do you want to help me kill some Bandits?”
“Buck yes!” she exclaims enthusiastically, “I’ve been wanting revenge on those buckers for years!” She darts into the back room, “What do you think you’ll need?”
“We’re going for loot. We’ll need smokebombs and weak ones to stun them if we need to make a run for it. But I’d like to take it quietly, so they might not be needed.” I flinch as I hear something fall from the room.
“Don’t worry! It was just a mortar and pestle! But yea, sure! I can do that. A bit boring, but I can see the need for subtlety. Do you want me to mention it to Mac? I was going to go see him before he comes off shift, anyways. He’ll want to talk to you tomorrow evening. He’s… busy at night and mornings.” The way she said it made it sound like a personal matter between Scootaloo and Mac. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I don’t exactly like mixing things with ponies nosing about. Too risky. So get out of my shop.”
I laugh, “I get that. I don’t let ponies handle my guns for the same reason. Cya later.”
“We’re going to see The Jack and go to the bar. See if you can get Mac to come by.”
Dash nudges the door open and motions for me to follow, so I oblige.
After we’re outside, “Mac is busy, eh?” I shoot her a sidelong glance, but her look told me he wasn’t having some nightly exercise with a mare. “Right… Well… Who is this Jack we were going to see?”
Trotting along a dirt path to through a barely-surviving farm of assorted foods. It was still considered a thriving farm. “She’s the Element of Honesty, and the only athlete that can keep up with me. We keep her to her farm because she can’t tell a lie, and that’s not good when it comes to dealing with Bandits. She’s Mac’s sister, so she’s not as light as the average pony, so she’s pretty huge compared to us. Her and Rarity have had a thing going for a while now, but Rarity is technically with Spike. Her little sister was one of Scoots’ friends, so don’t mention Scoots.”
At the top of the hill was an old farmhouse, with peeling paint and a slowly rotting porch, Dash knocks on the door and waits for the orange earth pony to open the door. “Howdy RD! Who’s yer friend? New in town?”
“Finally!” She exclaims loudly, “Somepony who didn’t assume he’s my coltfriend! Yea, he’s new, his name is Trotting Whooves, he’s a wanderer, saved my life, blah blah, ganna wipe out that Bandit camp later. Now can we go to the bar now? We’re meeting Rarity there.”
“Why, shoot! Why didn’cha say so? Ah’d love to!” She had an easy-going grin that marked a reliable pony. “Rarity’s a mighty fun pony to drink with.” Her easy-going grin turns into one of pure silliness. “Lead the way, pardner.”
For the first time since I’d seen her, Rainbow Dash, the natural flier, pushes off of the porch railing and glides lazily down to town. I sigh, malcontented. “Ridiculous a Pegasus can’t even fly without fear of being shot down, isn’t it?”
“Yessir. Plants don’t grow well neither. This used ta be the secon’ biggest apple farm in all of Equestria! Now lookit it! Barely big enough ta feed Ponyville, an’ nearly everypony is gone through varyin’ reasons.” She stomps her hoof empathetically. “It’s them Bandits ah tell ya! We need ta follow ‘em and wipe ‘em out! Not that that’d mean we could do away with these here walls, but it’s a start.”
“Funny you should mention that…” I begin slowly, “But I managed to coerce the location of their camp out of one of the buckers that were harassing Dash.” Her ears pick up in interest, “And I’m going to begin organizing a raiding party tomorrow. This town is severely lacking on guns and the Bandits have some.”
“As excitin’ as that is, are ya sure it’s safe? Seems like somepony could get hurt. Yer not ganna take half the town marchin’ through the wastes wavin’ pitchforks now, are ya?” Concern seeping into her voice.
“Of course not,” I assure her, “I usually take out these kinds of camps by myself. We’ll do it quietly, so maybe a group of five ponies. The main reason I’m not going alone is the loot. We’re taking everything that’s not nailed down, and we’ll bring a crowbar to take some of the stuff that is. Dash mentioned you and the schoolmare were the main suppliers of guns. Are you up for this, and is the schoolmare still around?” I look around the streets; hardly anypony was just hanging about the streets. Those that did looked as if they might mug the first lone pony that doesn’t look like he can handle himself. ‘Let them try,’ I think to myself. ‘Arrogant thugs are no better than the Bandits.’
“Shoot, ‘course I’m up for it! Mah family founded Ponyville! Ta hay with anypony who thinks ah’ll let some under-hoofed Bandits terrorize us!” She adverts her gaze and paws the ground nervously, “An’ you’ll find Miss Cheerilee in the bar, if’n she’s still awake. If ya can get her cleaned up, she’d be mighty helpful. She has a drinkin’ problem. Tries ta make the mem’ries go away. Apparently she used to work for the Princess as some kind of soldier, but she still says she ain’t allowed to tell us what she did.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Well then. Point her out to me when we get inside. This could be interesting.” A quick glance at the sign confirms we’re here. ‘A bar named SugarCider Suites? Must’ve been changed from something with a better ring to it.’ “After you, Jack.” I gesture cordially before following behind and taking a seat at the circular corner table next to Dash and Rarity, Applejack sitting next to Rarity.
A light brown earth pony steps out from behind the counter, “What can I get you four? We brew most of our own beverages, and we do run tabs so you can pay in the morning when your head clears.”
I scan the shelves behind the counter, “Do you have a bounce gun? I have a nice little sawed-off and some shells with my gear that I’m sure you would love. Among a few recreational items, if you have a need for such things. I’ll be paying for their drinks, by the way.”
He chuckles lightly and pours us each a drink, “Your Pegasus friend already has quite a tab. The other two pay, but she waits a couple weeks. Her current balance is…” He shuffles through a small ledger book in his apron pocket, “One-hundred-forty-five Bits or equivalent. Will you only be paying for today’s drinks?”
I roll my eyes, “How about I pay for tonight’s drinks and bring you the Bandit leader’s severed head so you can have it mounted above your fireplace after I get rid of your little Bandit problem and donate most of the loot to the town and you call it even?” I casually reposition my wings, as to show my pistol and my knife in a non-threatening manner.
“Wipe out the Bandits? Colt, you do that and all parties involved will get a free night’s drinks, plus your deal, which I accept.” He rests his forehooves on the sturdy table, “Now. What’ll you have?”
We all place our orders, and take a drink. Applejack is the first to speak. “Ah caught Big Mac cryin’ again. Ah hide all the liquor an’ Well Drink knows not to serve him or ah stop supplyin’ him with fruits and vegetables an’ grain fer brewin’. Ah know somepony is gettin’ him liquor. Ah understan’ he’s still sad about Fluttershy, an’ ah don’t expect him ta ever get over her. He loves her. But it’s been eight years. He should be able ta keep himself together… He must’a really been done in deep. Ah don’t know why I ever let her keep me from tellin’ him how she felt…”
“What a refreshing change: A pony who actually loves somepony else is rare these days. I’ve lost some traveling companions, but that isn’t the same, is it? Sure, we had sex, but that doesn’t mean it was love. It seems to me as long as he doesn’t cause trouble while he drinks and he does what he needs to do, it’s up to him how he deals with his pains. He’s a full grown stallion.” I take a drink and exhale slowly, feeling the alcohol-induced warmth spreading through my chest. “He’s been doing this for eight years, you said? He’s not out of control. Most ponies with a drinking problem have taken to spirits for a couple of years max and have lost everything just to get the next drink, or become violent to everypony else. Even worse when they get addicted to something. He just needs to get his thoughts in order, and apparently somepony is helping him with that.”
“Well, darling, as true as that may be, what if he does get that bad? Or what if he turns to something stronger? That would be the absolute worst possible thing,” exclaimed Rarity, with her apparently constant amounts of enthusiasm.
“I’ve traveled all across Wasted Equestria and seen many ponies. It’s when a habit is removed that a pony moves to a different one. Most addicts started because they couldn’t get liquor. Not every town has a still that produces anything other than kerosene.” Dash was staring in her drink intently. ‘Caught between a rock and a hard place. Loyal to Applejack; Loyal to Mac and Scootaloo.’
“Well let’s not let this nastiness get in our way of a good night. Tell me, Trotts, darling. What’s it like being a wanderer? Is it full of daring adventures and excitement? And tell me about your traveling companions. Were they pretty? Could she fight as well as you?” Rarity spewed forth a couple more things that made no sense.
“They weren’t all mares.” Dash snorts some sort of vodka mixer out her nose and cries out in pain. “What? Didn’t expect me to go both ways? Neither did I. I chose them based on how well they would fare in the Wastes and if they would shoot me in the back for an expired can of beans.” I take another drink. “Things happen. To answer your question, being a wanderer is not a glamorous occupation. I find myself sleeping in the dirt or old farmhouses with the bones of their owners still in the house. The places you have to creep around in so the Bandits don’t see you? Not even going to describe them. It is a very lucrative trade though. I can haul in five thousand Bits every time I come to a town. I keep saying I’ll be dead within a year, but I started saying that twelve years ago.” I pause while the bartender refills our glasses, as Dash had waved him over. “But it has taught me that a severed head of one’s enemy is a perfectly valid form of currency, and that’s always nice.”
“We don’t even know what happened. Don’t know what caused the Fire or the Poison, or where the Princesses went. You’ve heard something right? It would mean so much to Twilight to be able to give her some answers.” Dash inquired pleadingly.
“I’ve been to Ground Zero, and I’ve been to Canterlot shortly after the Princesses left. I can probably answer a few things, but for the most part, I have no bucking clue. Nopony does. Okay… What first…” I take a long draught of my drink―some sort of apple scotch. “Ground Zero was caused by an explosion, obviously, but not like any ponies could have caused. First of all the explosion happened a several hundred yards below ground to the north-west of here, but when a normal bomb is used, it crumbles the earth, right? Gone. Not a single bucking trace of collapsed earth. There was a ball the size of the Cloudiseum was just gone. I stood on the edge, and when I looked down, Nopony could survive the fall. If they did, there would be no hope of climbing back out ‘cause the sides are sloped in. But the Poison… It was like mist down there. Across the hole, I could see something. It was kind of like a cave, but it wasn’t natural, nor of pony creation. It was made of smooth stone with bits of metal sticking out of it.”
“If it ain’t by ponies, then who made the darned thing?” Applejack slurred out. ‘Apparently they’re using strong alcohol as popcorn.’ “I mean, it didn’t just grow, right?”
“I have no idea, but a librarian in Canterlot read this book written by a powerful unicorn claiming to have used a spell to look into the distant past, but the spell damaged his mind. It was about some ancient race of bipedals that destroyed themselves long ago. We owe much of our technology to them, and they had much more, if the book is right. Apparently they lived tens of thousands of years ago and blew up the world with bombs that were described to do the same thing. He thinks they hid a few of them in underground bunkers to keep each other from finding them, ‘cause their peaceful times were as violent as this, and that one just went off.” I finish off my third glass. “But I guess that doesn’t matter, does it? We’re here, and nothing can be done except wait it out. The Princesses seemed to have used a very powerful teleportation spell that presumably took them to their respective heavenly bodies. That’s all we have.”
A long pause went on before Dash leaned heavily on my side, “Yerr kinda cute when yerr fuzzy…”
“Okay. You’ve had enough.” I pick up her glass and finish it off.
“That’s it? No secret Griffin plot? Just… An accident by an ancient race?” Rarity seemed disappointed it wasn’t more interesting. “Well, anyways… Don’t you think it’s a bit far for you to walk, AJ? My place is much closer…”
Dash begins giggling drunkenly, “They’re going to have SEX!” she whispers loudly.
Applejack slides their drinks towards me before walking out the door, side by side, giggling loudly. I drink the rest of their glasses and call out to the bar tender that I would pay in the morning, hazily making my way to the old Library, aware that I should not have doubled my drinks in a matter of seconds.
