Sorry about the bad splits
I regarded the pony in the mirror; his uniform was spotless and well pressed, and the cap perched perfectly on his head. “I really do clean up good,” I said to myself. “Wish I could say the same for the rest of this place…”
The barracks around me were an homage to minimalism. One bunk and one footlocker per pony was all we got. One wall had a floor-to-ceiling mirror, and there were only four sinks to serve everypony. Even so, I was grateful; the sparse conditions were nothing compared back to our tent at Fort A.
I walked over to my locker and pulled out the letter bearing the royal seal. By now, I had the letter memorized, but never got over feeling the slightest bit of joy when reading it. “Faust above,” I said, scanning the letter once more. “Princess Luna, coming here to give us our medals…”
My obsession with the lunar goddess was no secret among the camp. It had become something of a joke, culminating in my callsign: “Lunatic”. I accepted it as a compliment. And, now that I was going to have a chance to meet her, I had plans of my own.
I couldn’t contain myself; I started dancing around the barracks, desperate to burn off some of my nervousness; acting classes had taught me that movement was a good way to burn off energy. So I leapt from bunk to bunk, flapping my wings and laughing like a foal. I felt a stupid grin creeping across my face as I continued my dance across the barracks, grateful that everypony was already gathering for the ceremony.
Of course, it was at this very moment that my wingman walked in. “Woah there, Show Off,” he said to me. “What’s with all the excitement? You and Famosity got a date tonight or something?”
I dropped to the floor in mid-jump, glowering at my friend. I never understood their incessant need to tease. “We aren’t like that and you know it.” I said tersely.
“Sure,” my loudmouthed companion shot back. “And you guys just go to the supply shed to do inventory together.”
“Put a bridle in it, Snap Shot!” Anypony else would’ve received a hoof to the face, but I let Snap have his fun. “Princess Luna is going to be at this award ceremony.” I tried to keep a straight face, but lost it as soon as I saw Snap laughing; I’d been caught in my obsession, and laughed along with him.
After a few minutes, we finally calmed back down. I trotted over to his bunk and pulled out his formal uniform. He’d only been released from the med tent this morning, and still had to dress for the occasion. “How’s the leg?” I asked, nodding to where he’d been shot.
He fumbled with his uniform a bit, growing slightly exasperated. “Still a bit stiff,” he said, grunting at the exertion.
I returned to the mirror to examine my uniform once more. Struck once more with the need to let out some energy, I began rehearsing scenes from various plays I’d done.
“Alas, poor Yorick…I knew him, Horatio.”
“Frankly my dear, I don’t give a buck.”
The charade carried on for several minutes, but with my best friend in the room, my façade of confidence wavered. I turned to look at him. “You’re my wingman, right?”
He laughed at me. “Have you forgotten? All that time in flight school and you don’t even remember me.”
I was a little hurt, but I knew he was only joking. I gazed at him resolutely, trying to get him to understand. “Snap, I’m serious. You’ve got my back in the air or on the ground, right?”
He finally seemed to catch on. “Of course I do” he nodded at me. “…is something wrong, Show?”
I thought it over, but decided I wasn’t going to reveal my plans to him. Instead, I dodged the question. “No, nothing’s wrong.” I made a note to get better at dodging.
“Alright,” he said knowingly, “I got your back if something is, though.”
I breathed a sigh of relief; I always feel better if I’m not doing something alone. “Thanks, Snap.”
He joined me in front of the mirror. I couldn’t suppress my amusement at his attempts to tidy his dress uniform.
“Ugh, I hate wearing this thing.” He fiddled with his garrison cap, which refused to sit properly on his short mane. I decided to go help him out.
“Didn’t you have to wear this kind of thing for black tie events and stuff while you were in Trottingham?” I inquired, perplexed that he was having such difficulties.
Before the war, Snap had worked as photographer for a tabloid in Trottingham. He had an undeniable talent for getting a perfect picture, and was constantly going through rolls of film during his off-duty hours. His penchant for photos earned him the callsign “Shutterbug,” which he embraced lovingly.
“Black tie?” he responded bitterly. “Show, I was a member of the ‘dog team.’ The closest I ever got to having to wear a tux was waiting behind a dumpster for Orange Julius to leave from a sordid liaison at the Bullmore. There’s a reason I hated my job.”
“Oh, sorry,” came my reply. I didn’t realize he hated his old job so much. A thought crossed my mind. “Hey! I did a few shows in Trottingham! Were you ever assigned to get some photos of me?”
He paused for a moment, searching his memory. I thought back on my own news-worthy exploits. Most of them involved mildly embarrassing slip-ups on stage, but there was nothing overly noteworthy I could think of. I had dated Fleetfoot of the Wonderbolts for a bit while on tour in Canterlot, but it didn’t work out.
“Well, your name never came across my desk,” he said finally. “I was usually assigned to the D-List; you were above my pay grade.”
I shrugged. I thought it would have been interesting to have some kind of connection before the war had started, but you can’t go looking for things that aren’t there. “Alright,” I said, polishing up his look. “You look presentable enough.” I gave him one final once-over. I nodded my approval, and he seemed pleased with the final outcome himself.
He flared his wings and stood confidently. “Let’s go,” he said dramatically.
“Not just yet,” I told him. “We have to get Famosity from the officer’s barracks. She said she had to fix her hair.”
Shutterbug rolled his eyes. “That’ll take all day.” We burst into laughter and exited our bunkroom.
I cast my eyes around the base. The conditions here were far better than what we’d had back at Fort A. For one, there was no constant threat of attack, and for another there was no mud. I hated mud; it was impossible to hide dirt on a black coat. I wasn’t vain by any means, but I felt good when I looked good.
Off to our right some ways, a throng of ponies had gathered for the ceremony. A few late-comers passed us on the way to Fam’s barracks, but we went unmolested; everypony loves a visit from nobility. I could see the Princesses’ carriage parked behind the stage, but saw nothing of the royalty themselves. While a bit dejected, I knew soon I’d be closer to them than I had ever hoped to be.
The officer’s quarters were positioned across the base from ours. I knew Fam would be enjoying her time with the other mare officers; she spent far too much time with us on the front lines, and needed the reprieve.
Snap stopped short as we came up to the door; I walked right up to it and raised a hoof to knock. “Show!” Snap whispered behind me. “We’re supposed to wait.”
I turned my head to him. “Everypony’s on the parade grounds; we don’t have time to wait.” And with that, I began pounding on the door as hard as I could. “Famosity!” I called through the thin, shaking door. “Don’t make me come in there after you!”
The door flew open unexpectedly and I was pushed back a few steps by the surprise. A Major with a blonde mane stuck her head out and regarded me angrily. I did my best to regain what little composure I had left. Snap Shot did the same behind me.
The Major wasn’t impressed. “What was that, Sergeant?” she asked me testily. The look in her eyes told me I had really done it this time. “You were going to enter the officer’s barracks; the mare officer’s barracks?!”
“Ma’am! No ma’am.” Snap and I replied in unison. I kept my eyes locked dead ahead of me; I knew my wingman was doing the same. And for the second time that day, I was grateful to have his support.
Not that it did us much good with the Major. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t have both of you on KP, washing dishes until your hooves fall off?”
My mind frantically searched for an appropriate response. I had really done it this time. I had just given up hope and was preparing to accept my punishment when our saving grace came.
“There you two are!” Famosity called to us. “Thanks for coming to get me, I had lost track of time.” She exited the barracks in her full dress uniform, plus more. Her utter distaste for anything ordinary shined through even now, and my breath caught at her beauty. My mouth fell open, all semblance of proper procedure lost.
The captivating mare addressed our superior. “I’m sorry, Major. We’re running late for the ceremony, and I told the boys to come get me if I fell behind. You know me…I tend to go crazy in the powder room.”
The Major seemed to accept this, but shot us one final glare before stepping back into her quarters.
I instantly relaxed; my wingman did the same. We’d heard horror stories about this particular Major’s punishments, and neither of us was ready to see if they were true.
My attention returned to the mare in front of me. Her uniform had been significantly modified; she had added a beautiful silver trim to the sleeves and bottom hem of the shirt, framing her perfectly. Her mint green coat practically radiated sunlight, a stark contrast to my own black. Two peacock feathers supplemented her blue and green highlights in her brown mane and tail, adding to the intrigue of the ensemble. I stood stunned; the novelty of the accessories left me strangely attracted to my superior.
“Those aren’t standard issue.” Snaps observations barely registered to my shell-shocked mind.
Famosity turned and posed expertly, the blue and green hairs in her tail shimmering in the sun; my knees went a little weak. “Oh, don’t they just make the outfit?” she said, my ears flicking instantly towards the sound of her voice. “They’re just gorgeous, aren’t they?”
“Well, yeah,” my wingman replied, “but aren’t you worried about someone saying you’re out of uniform?”
My head cocked to one side. It mattered not that we normally went without clothes, but imagining my captain quite literally 'out of uniform' was a fantasy I had never considered. My hold on my composure was fast fading.
“But I am in uniform; I just improved it.”
“Well, you look nice.”
The banter went in one ear and out the other; I was lost in my head, trying desperately not to go to pieces over my commanding officer. I would’ve stood there all day, had Snap not shoved an elbow in my sides. “Y-yeah!” I stuttered awkwardly.
Her expression took on a more sinister look. “I do not look nice…” Her voice practically dripped with anger.
Any daydreams I had about Fam were snuffed out of existence. Shutterbug and I snapped to attention for the second time that afternoon.
“I look fabulous!”
My eyes wandered over her once more. “Of course you do,” I said, Snap echoing the same comment next to me.
The three of us fell into a laughing fit. In the past few weeks, I felt like I’d grown closer to the ponies I’d survived Fort A with. We were soon to be shipped out east, but for now, we had some time off and we had each other. We were just beginning to recover from our giggle fit when Quill, the mastermind behind our escape, trotted out of his barracks.
I had to do a double take to make sure it was the same stallion. The shaggy, disheveled mane that normally sat atop his head had finally been tamed, and his moustache, which until recently had attacked his face like an angry caterpillar, was expertly trimmed and combed. His dress uniform was crisp, and his Purple Hooves had been polished to a shine. His dark green coat held no trace of dust or mud. The only thing that was off about his entire ensemble was the hat which sat between his ears.
While clean, it was too large for his head, and threadbare in a few places. It kind of reminded me of our rag-tag little group; we looked nice now, but we had our own wear and tear. I took the opportunity to tease him a little.
“Hey, Sarge!” I called out to him.
He scowled at me, snorting haughtily. “Sergeant Show Off, I am officially a lieutenant now, and you will address me as such.”
“And I still out rank you!” Famosity sang.
The lieutenant sighed and rolled his eyes. We’d all been promoted after our tactical retreat, meaning that while Quill was now a rank higher, so was Famosity. While she usually deferred her authority to the lieutenant, she never got tired of dangling her position over him.
“You’ll always be ‘sarge’ to me, lieutenant,” I said saluting him in a needlessly dramatic fashion. “Sir!”
He sighed a final time and looked towards the reception hall. “Alright, we better go. No point in being late to our own party.”
The royal guards would be waiting to give us pat-downs to check for weapons. I shuddered to think that anypony would want to hurt Luna, but it was sensible. Nopony in Equestria wanted us to be in this war, and there were those who would resort to drastic measures to end the fighting.
“Not a bad idea,” Quill said quietly. “I’m not exactly thrilled with the service of the royals.”
I was concerned that my superior held any kind of ill against our monarchs, but I knew he would never intentionally cause them physical harm. My theories were confirmed by my wingman’s next comment.
“Neither am I, lieutenant, but just think of the food afterward,” he said softly.
In my excitement about meeting Princess Luna, I had almost forgotten about the reception banquet afterwards. “Dinner with the Princesses,” I said to Famosity. “I like the sound of that…”
“Show, I don’t know why you obsess over ‘her’ so much,” she said, referring of course to the lunar princess. “You should be focused on me.” She tossed her hair and batted her eyelashes at me.
I tapped her back with my hoof. “Sprout some wings and move the moon,” I teased. “Then you’ll be worth my time.”
She remained calm, but I saw her horn light up as she drew a pencil from an inside pocket. She quickly drew a moustache and top hat on me; her magical talent meant that the drawings hung in the air and sat on my head as if they were real. “There,” she said smugly. “All ready for your date with Luna.”
I brushed the drawings away with a hoof, grateful that their graphite composition meant that they were fragile and easy to eliminate. “You get way too much pleasure out of that,” I told her.
She flashed me an enormous smile and bounced up to the reception hall; Snap, Quill, and I trotted after her.
Once we were inside, we were led into four separate curtained stalls, where the royal guard checked us for weapons. I stood silently and waited for the pat-down to be over; my squad mates were less tolerating.
“Hey, watch those hooves!” Fam shouted, two stalls over from me. I heard a hoof smack across somepony’s face, but I couldn’t tell who was doing the slapping and who was getting slapped.
“It’s standard procedure, Fam!” Quill called out from the farthest stall from me.
“That doesn’t mean she can put her hooves wherever she wants.”
I suppressed a laugh, and waited for the guard searching me to finish.
“Either hurry this up, or send the hoovesy mare over here to frisk me,” I heard Snap tell the guard one partition over from me. I rolled my eyes.
I joined the officers on the other side of the stalls; Snap was the last one to exit.
Beside me, Famosity was obviously upset. “Ooh, if she messed up my feather, I’m going to be mad,” she grumbled, flicking her tail to check.
I laughed. “It’s fine, Fam.”
The guards came up and escorted us to the stage where the ceremony was to take place. Through the open doors of the hall, we could see the lingering contrails of the Wonderbolts as they performed for the crowd.
“You’d think they’d have put the best fliers in a unit, not putting on a show,” my wingman said bluntly.
“It’s a morale boost, Snap,” Quill explained. “And it’s just as important as having actual fighters. Besides, they’re too expensive to waste.”
“I guess that’s all we are too, huh?” my cynical wingman hypothesized. “A morale boost in the form of four uniformed idiots.”
Quill nodded understandingly. “Something like that, sergeant. Just accept your commendation with dignity, even if the royals did leave us to die on that Faust-forsaken hill.”
Each of us looked to the other ponies on stage, then at the floor. We’d been left at the old fort to die; seemed contradictory that we’d be commended for surviving. Quill filled out the paperwork for a formal inquiry, but that too had been lost in the shuffle of the bureaucracy. We felt like crap; even my faith in Luna was shakier than it had been. I tried to shake the thought from my head. I had to fight for something; if not my Princess, it would have to be my friends.
“Well,” Famosity said happily, trying to break the silence, “At least we get something shiny out of the deal!”
While not as laugh-inducing as our antics earlier, Fam’s unique perspective cheered us all up. Unfortunately, that good mood was squashed when another contingent of the guard approached us to give us the lecture for the proceedings.
Beside me, my friend fidgeted agitatedly. By the time the guards had made it through their third time, he couldn’t hold his frustration anymore. “You’re lucky you frisked me for weapons earlier, because if I had one, I’d shoot you,” he said angrily.
The guard snorted, clearly annoyed; I couldn’t hold back a grin. Snap’s mouth tended to have a mind of its own. More than once in Basic he’d been disciplined for talking back to his superiors.
“Look, here’s what you do,” the guard explained for the fourth time. “Your name is called, you walk up and get your medal, you salute, and you return to the line. Am I clear, Flyboy?”
“Crystal, rent-a-cop.”
I snickered, and the guard shot me a dirty look before walking off. I flashed him a smile and waved after him as he and the other guards took their places at the door, leaving us on the stage.
I was relaxed; or at least, I would’ve been if I wouldn’t be meeting my idol in about fifteen minutes. The stage was a second home to me, but I could tell Snap and Quill felt a bit uncomfortable being on display for so many ponies. Famosity was off in a world of her own. I guessed she was probably thinking of her crazy Chaotic religion.
Ponies from the parade grounds trickled into the room, and we stood at attention. Snap stiffened a bit beside me as the crowd grew, bristling at having to be the morale boost for the entire REA. I wanted to give him a hug—or anything to make him feel better—but at that moment, a fanfare announced the arrival of the Royals.
Celestia and Luna walked into the reception hall and approached the stage, followed by a few nobles from the court. A flash of color from the back of the procession drew my eye. There, atop the banner of Equestria, sat a phoenix, presumably Celestia’s bird.
“Wow, a phoenix; the royals have some fancy pets,” Snap commented beside me.
“Isn’t she gorgeous?” Fam whispered at the other end of the line from me.
A smile crept on to my face. “Too bad you don’t have one of her feathers for your hair,” I teased.
Famosity flashed a wicked grin; I could see the wheels in her mind turning.
“Oh, you just had to suggest that, didn’t you…” my wingman scolded.
Celestia walked across the stage, signaling the start of the ceremony. Luna joined her sister at her side; I felt my heart flutter a bit.
I was to receive my award last, but I had been counting on that. The officers were called for their commendation first, and then my fellow airman. I started to get nervous right before my name was called; it was now or never.
“Shoford ‘Show Off’ Offington III,” the guard at the end of the stage called.
I took one last deep breath to settle my nerves, and walked calmly across the stage. Celestia beamed and held up my medal, but I paid her no mind; I strolled past her like any other pony on the street. I could feel the tension in the room mount as everypony noticed my “mistake.” I pushed through the awkwardness, and walked straight up to Luna.
Without stopping, I leaned in, closed my eyes and kissed her. Time slowed to a stop; she was everything I’d dreamed of and more. Her lips were cool like her evenings and soft like the moonlight. My mouth tingled, and I couldn’t be sure if it was the excitement of the moment or a reaction from Luna’s magic. The world around me faded away; there was only my princess and me.
I could feel her mouth slacken, and even though I knew it was probably shock, I couldn’t resist going just a bit further. I gently probed her lips with my tongue. The taste reminded me of night lilies; I felt a shudder run down my spine. I was sharing a closeness with the Princess no other pony could claim.
My time of bliss was not to last, however. Just as I sensed she may have begun to enjoy it, I was pulled off of Luna and thrown to the ground. I fought as hard as I could to return to those perfect lips, but three guards against one airman was a grossly unfair fight. Finally, they forced my legs down and held me so I couldn’t move. Once the guards realized I’d given up, they dragged me to my feet and stood between me and the Princesses. I looked out over the crowd, only truly noticing them for the first time.
Everypony had a stunned look on their face, but I could see a few faces starting to smile. I figured I may as well ham it up a bit. “YES!” I shouted, pumping my hooves in the air.
The crowd went absolutely nuts. I knew I’d made a mockery of the ceremony, but I still returned to Celestia, saluted properly, and returned to the line, trying not to look smug. “I can die happy now,” I said to Snap, beaming wildly.
He looked me over. I knew my uniform was a wreck, but I couldn’t care at this point. “Yeah, I guess you can,” my wingman told me. “Which is good, because I think the Royal Guards want to kill you.”
I turned and looked at him. “Worth it,” I said with a nod.
“You’re dismissed,” the guards told us. They glared at me in particular. “Now get out.”
I flashed my trademark smile at them led our group offstage, practically bouncing the whole way to the Officer’s Mess. Upon our arrival, we discovered table after table piled high with food; everything looked so good I had no idea where to start. I quickly got separated from my squad-mates as we fanned out in search of our favorite dishes. I filled my first plate quickly and found a table.
I was onto my second helping of food when Famosity approached me. She set her plate down onto the table somewhat harder than she usually did. I swallowed the food I had in my mouth. "Uh, Fam?" I ventured. “Something wrong?”
The Princesses, their guard, and the train of nobles entered the mess hall and began perusing the selections themselves. The guards kept me under constant surveillance, but they had nothing to fear from me; I was as happy as a colt with candy on Nightmare Night.
She turned to me; she looked rather angry. “Did you enjoy your kiss?” Her voice dripped with a venom I wasn’t used to.
“Um…yeah…it-it was great,” I said, confused by her reaction.
“Well I’m glad.” She huffed and sat down with a thump, making me jump a bit. Her eyes stared straight ahead, and she ate her meal silently.
I cast an occasional glance at her, trying to catch her eye, but she refused to even look at me. The tension between us mounted, but I couldn’t fathom what had her so upset. I returned to my own plate, finishing it as quickly as I could. The quietness was something I wasn’t used to from Fam, and my attempts to draw her into conversation were met with glares. The moment dragged on and on, and I wondered why I had piled so much food onto my plate; I cursed my insatiable appetite.
I moved away from the table and looked around the mess hall. “I suppose I should go find Princess Luna…”
“Why?” Fam cut me off. “Gonna kiss her again?” She was oddly hostile.
“Well, that’d be nice I suppose, but-“
With one fluid movement, my captain spun around from the table and smacked a hoof across my face. “You’re supposed to love me most,” she stated angrily. “Go be with your princess.” She walked off, but not before she flicked me with her tail.
I stared after her, rubbing the sore spot on my face with a hoof. When she finally disappeared into the crowd of the banquet hall, I decided it would better not to seek out Luna; I didn’t need to be hit twice in the same day. Instead, I returned to the buffet line, and loaded a third plate with food, and then a fourth; food was a comfort for me.
I was happily munching on my meal when Snap walked up to me, a concerned look creasing his features. “Show, listen; I need to talk to you,” he said with a serious tone.
“Yeah, what’s up?” I asked, smiling to break his uneasiness. There had been far too much melodrama today as far as I was concerned, and I intended to do something about it.
“Well…” he began, but stopped suddenly. His eyes grew wide and he saluted as a large shadow dimmed my world.
I looked up and saw Luna standing over me. I snapped to attention, the epitome of self-control. Inside, however, I was panicking; I was going to be slapped again.
The Princess disregarded my wingman, and looked directly into my eyes. “We were impressed by thy bravado earlier today,” she said to me.
I breathed an internal sigh of relief. It seemed like my face was safe for the moment. I was however mistaken; my muzzle was soon to come under assault once more.
The Princess knelt down and very quickly kissed my cheek. “Thou shalt be in our prayers,” she whispered into my ear, sending a tremor through my entire body.
I felt blood rush to my face, and knew my dark coat would do nothing to keep it from showing. My knees felt weak, and I had to concentrate to keep from falling over. And for once, I was grateful that Basic had trained me to keep my wings folded when I was at attention regardless of any outside circumstances.
Then Luna did something that was grossly unfair. As she turned to rejoin the nobles, she ran her tail under my chin. The enchanted star field hairs tingled against my skin, and for the second time that day, I had to force myself to maintain my composure in the presence of a beautiful mare. I continued staring at where she had been long after she had gone.
My ear tickled and Famosity walked past me, a large red and orange feather stuck in her hair along with her many other accessories.
Snap leaned over to me. “Um…where’s Celestia’s bird?” he asked.
I didn’t even hear him. My eyes stayed glued to the spot where the lunar princess had kissed me, and I was grinning stupidly.
Snap walked off towards the buffet table and Fam went off to mingle with other ponies. I lingered a moment longer before finally coming out of my daze. I looked around the mess hall once more, spotting each of my squad-mates—my friends—and noting what they were doing.
Famosity was entertaining a few of the nobles with drawings in mid-air; I smiled wistfully after the mint-green unicorn. I wasn’t entirely sure what I’d done to upset her, but I could make a decent guess. I resolved to make it up to her at a later date.
Quill busied himself with his pencil and notebook, no doubt logging the events of the day in a great narrative voice. I admired his ability to eloquently and intelligently dictate even the most basic events with finite detail. I’d seen him writing in that notebook the entire time back at Fort A, and we had tentative plans to write a drama when the war was over.
Snap it seemed had finally gotten around to eating, but as he ate, he stared longingly at the sky through the window. I knew that he was under orders not to fly until his leg had healed for fear of damaging it again during landing. My heart went out to him; it was in a pegasus’s nature to fly. It’s what made us so good against the CB’s. We had another couple of weeks to rest in the rear echelon, and then we’d be shipped out east. I would never feel comfortable with any other pony at my side.
I regarded my own fate. On the battle field, I wasn’t the best; at the start of the war, I was usually concerned with keeping myself alive. Now, I still wasn’t the best, but I valued my friends’ lives much more than I ever valued my own. I’d take a gumball for any of them any day, and slept well at night knowing they’d do the same for me.
I smiled and nodded to myself. I glanced down at the Distinguished Fliers Cross that Celestia had pinned to my chest earlier. It was clean and glistened in the light, and its weight was an odd comfort.
I looked back up and sighed contentedly. “Yep…good day,” I said to myself. I turned and trotted happily back to the food tables, feeling the need for some dessert.
fimfiction's not letting me upload certain things for some reason...
The royal guards would be waiting to give us pat-downs to check for weapons. I shuddered to think that anypony would want to hurt Luna, but it was sensible. Nopony in Equestria wanted us to be in this war, and there were those who would resort to drastic measures to end the fighting.
“Not a bad idea,” Quill said quietly. “I’m not exactly thrilled with the service of the royals.”
I was concerned that my superior held any kind of ill against our monarchs, but I knew he would never intentionally cause them physical harm. My theories were confirmed by my wingman’s next comment.
“Neither am I, lieutenant, but just think of the food afterward,” he said softly.
In my excitement about meeting Princess Luna, I had almost forgotten about the reception banquet afterwards. “Dinner with the Princesses,” I said to Famosity. “I like the sound of that…”
“Show, I don’t know why you obsess over ‘her’ so much,” she said, referring of course to the lunar princess. “You should be focused on me.” She tossed her hair and batted her eyelashes at me.
I tapped her back with my hoof. “Sprout some wings and move the moon,” I teased. “Then you’ll be worth my time.”
She remained calm, but I saw her horn light up as she drew a pencil from an inside pocket. She quickly drew a moustache and top hat on me; her magical talent meant that the drawings hung in the air and sat on my head as if they were real. “There,” she said smugly. “All ready for your date with Luna.”
I brushed the drawings away with a hoof, grateful that their graphite composition meant that they were fragile and easy to eliminate. “You get way too much pleasure out of that,” I told her.
She flashed me an enormous smile and bounced up to the reception hall; Snap, Quill, and I trotted after her.
Once we were inside, we were led into four separate curtained stalls, where the royal guard checked us for weapons. I stood silently and waited for the pat-down to be over; my squad mates were less tolerating.
“Hey, watch those hooves!” Fam shouted, two stalls over from me. I heard a hoof smack across somepony’s face, but I couldn’t tell who was doing the slapping and who was getting slapped.
“It’s standard procedure, Fam!” Quill called out from the farthest stall from me.
“That doesn’t mean she can put her hooves wherever she wants.”
I suppressed a laugh, and waited for the guard searching me to finish.
“Either hurry this up, or send the hoovesy mare over here to frisk me,” I heard Snap tell the guard one partition over from me. I rolled my eyes.
I joined the officers on the other side of the stalls; Snap was the last one to exit.
Beside me, Famosity was obviously upset. “Ooh, if she messed up my feather, I’m going to be mad,” she grumbled, flicking her tail to check.
I laughed. “It’s fine, Fam.”
The guards came up and escorted us to the stage where the ceremony was to take place. Through the open doors of the hall, we could see the lingering contrails of the Wonderbolts as they performed for the crowd.
“You’d think they’d have put the best fliers in a unit, not putting on a show,” my wingman said bluntly.
“It’s a morale boost, Snap,” Quill explained. “And it’s just as important as having actual fighters. Besides, they’re too expensive to waste.”
“I guess that’s all we are too, huh?” my cynical wingman hypothesized. “A morale boost in the form of four uniformed idiots.”
Quill nodded understandingly. “Something like that, sergeant. Just accept your commendation with dignity, even if the royals did leave us to die on that Faust-forsaken hill.”
Each of us looked to the other ponies on stage, then at the floor. We’d been left at the old fort to die; seemed contradictory that we’d be commended for surviving. Quill filled out the paperwork for a formal inquiry, but that too had been lost in the shuffle of the bureaucracy. We felt like crap; even my faith in Luna was shakier than it had been. I tried to shake the thought from my head. I had to fight for something; if not my Princess, it would have to be my friends.
“Well,” Famosity said happily, trying to break the silence, “At least we get something shiny out of the deal!”
While not as laugh-inducing as our antics earlier, Fam’s unique perspective cheered us all up. Unfortunately, that good mood was squashed when another contingent of the guard approached us to give us the lecture for the proceedings.
Beside me, my friend fidgeted agitatedly. By the time the guards had made it through their third time, he couldn’t hold his frustration anymore. “You’re lucky you frisked me for weapons earlier, because if I had one, I’d shoot you,” he said angrily.
The guard snorted, clearly annoyed; I couldn’t hold back a grin. Snap’s mouth tended to have a mind of its own. More than once in Basic he’d been disciplined for talking back to his superiors.
“Look, here’s what you do,” the guard explained for the fourth time. “Your name is called, you walk up and get your medal, you salute, and you return to the line. Am I clear, Flyboy?”
“Crystal, rent-a-cop.”
I snickered, and the guard shot me a dirty look before walking off. I flashed him a smile and waved after him as he and the other guards took their places at the door, leaving us on the stage.
I was relaxed; or at least, I would’ve been if I wouldn’t be meeting my idol in about fifteen minutes. The stage was a second home to me, but I could tell Snap and Quill felt a bit uncomfortable being on display for so many ponies. Famosity was off in a world of her own. I guessed she was probably thinking of her crazy Chaotic religion.
Ponies from the parade grounds trickled into the room, and we stood at attention. Snap stiffened a bit beside me as the crowd grew, bristling at having to be the morale boost for the entire REA. I wanted to give him a hug—or anything to make him feel better—but at that moment, a fanfare announced the arrival of the Royals.
Celestia and Luna walked into the reception hall and approached the stage, followed by a few nobles from the court. A flash of color from the back of the procession drew my eye. There, atop the banner of Equestria, sat a phoenix, presumably Celestia’s bird.
“Wow, a phoenix; the royals have some fancy pets,” Snap commented beside me.
“Isn’t she gorgeous?” Fam whispered at the other end of the line from me.
A smile crept on to my face. “Too bad you don’t have one of her feathers for your hair,” I teased.
Famosity flashed a wicked grin; I could see the wheels in her mind turning.
“Oh, you just had to suggest that, didn’t you…” my wingman scolded.
Celestia walked across the stage, signaling the start of the ceremony. Luna joined her sister at her side; I felt my heart flutter a bit.
I was to receive my award last, but I had been counting on that. The officers were called for their commendation first, and then my fellow airman. I started to get nervous right before my name was called; it was now or never.
“Shoford ‘Show Off’ Offington III,” the guard at the end of the stage called.
I took one last deep breath to settle my nerves, and walked calmly across the stage. Celestia beamed and held up my medal, but I paid her no mind; I strolled past her like any other pony on the street. I could feel the tension in the room mount as everypony noticed my “mistake.” I pushed through the awkwardness, and walked straight up to Luna.
Without stopping, I leaned in, closed my eyes and kissed her. Time slowed to a stop; she was everything I’d dreamed of and more. Her lips were cool like her evenings and soft like the moonlight. My mouth tingled, and I couldn’t be sure if it was the excitement of the moment or a reaction from Luna’s magic. The world around me faded away; there was only my princess and me.
I could feel her mouth slacken, and even though I knew it was probably shock, I couldn’t resist going just a bit further. I gently probed her lips with my tongue. The taste reminded me of night lilies; I felt a shudder run down my spine. I was sharing a closeness with the Princess no other pony could claim.
My time of bliss was not to last, however. Just as I sensed she may have begun to enjoy it, I was pulled off of Luna and thrown to the ground. I fought as hard as I could to return to those perfect lips, but three guards against one airman was a grossly unfair fight. Finally, they forced my legs down and held me so I couldn’t move. Once the guards realized I’d given up, they dragged me to my feet and stood between me and the Princesses. I looked out over the crowd, only truly noticing them for the first time.
Everypony had a stunned look on their face, but I could see a few faces starting to smile. I figured I may as well ham it up a bit. “YES!” I shouted, pumping my hooves in the air.
The crowd went absolutely nuts. I knew I’d made a mockery of the ceremony, but I still returned to Celestia, saluted properly, and returned to the line, trying not to look smug. “I can die happy now,” I said to Snap, beaming wildly.
He looked me over. I knew my uniform was a wreck, but I couldn’t care at this point. “Yeah, I guess you can,” my wingman told me. “Which is good, because I think the Royal Guards want to kill you.”
I turned and looked at him. “Worth it,” I said with a nod.
“You’re dismissed,” the guards told us. They glared at me in particular. “Now get out.”
I flashed my trademark smile at them led our group offstage, practically bouncing the whole way to the Officer’s Mess. Upon our arrival, we discovered table after table piled high with food; everything looked so good I had no idea where to start. I quickly got separated from my squad-mates as we fanned out in search of our favorite dishes. I filled my first plate quickly and found a table.
I was onto my second helping of food when Famosity approached me. She set her plate down onto the table somewhat harder than she usually did. I swallowed the food I had in my mouth. "Uh, Fam?" I ventured. “Something wrong?”
The Princesses, their guard, and the train of nobles entered the mess hall and began perusing the selections themselves. The guards kept me under constant surveillance, but they had nothing to fear from me; I was as happy as a colt with candy on Nightmare Night.
She turned to me; she looked rather angry. “Did you enjoy your kiss?” Her voice dripped with a venom I wasn’t used to.
“Um…yeah…it-it was great,” I said, confused by her reaction.
“Well I’m glad.” She huffed and sat down with a thump, making me jump a bit. Her eyes stared straight ahead, and she ate her meal silently.
