Horseland Ladies
One fine day the sun was shining as its master Queen White alicorn*the term hasn't been bought by Hasbro yet, so ha! *....anyway, like I was saying, one magical sun shiny day, the head honcho on Horseland was eating her frosted sugar bread while her sister: Emo Goth Lesser Queen Alicorn was playing her electricity fueled entertainment device. All was all nice and dandy when the White Queen's Queen Sense was tingling.
"Sister, my magical powers has sensed a disturbance in the magical force that controls our magical horse land. "
"That is terrible thoust sister, we should send the Horseland marines!"
"No, we send my student and the rest of the Jewelery of Peace bearers. Oh and Short Purple Biped, because they might need a something to make them a sammich."
(Later and the six female horses of Peace were at Trotville Palace)
"Oh, it is horrifying someone has stolen the Crown Jewels of Destruction from the Crown Jewels of Destruction display in the Grand Museum of Horseland. We ne--"
Fuchsia Celebration pony took her time to interrupt the Queen. "Ooh is that baddy waddy no good?"
"*Sigh* Yes, it is bad as you see I had a student named Evil Bad Lady years ago and I kicked her out of my internship program for being...well evil. Honestly I should have seen it coming, but you never judge somehorse by their name. I mean I have a guard named Lieutenant Cat Rapist and that doesn't mean anything. Anyway getting back on subject, somehow she has taken the Crown Jewels of Destruction and with them she can murderize anyone she pleases and considering that I fired her, she'll want to exact her revenge."
"Do you have any idea where she went?"
"Yes, my student because she left us a note telling us all what she did and where she was going and it isn't good."
After some more painful and tedious exposition Queen White Alicorn explained to her minions of peace that the evil ex-student went to the human world of Earth. She then gathered them up, had some lunch, picked up her dry cleaning and sat the seven beings in front of a large glowing door portal thingy.
"Now, before you go on this dangerous journey, you need become human."
With a few sparks from the queen's magical appendage Book Enthusiast was transformed from an adult pony to a large headed teenage human girl. It was all good in the hood till the nerd took note of one big issue.
"But White Queen, won't the humans noticed that I am not human colored because I read a book that people weren't purple unless they are choking on something?"
"It is okay because I made all the people of earth rainbow colored."
"How did y'all do that?" The farmer interjected.
"Emo Queen dropped her crayons in the portal by accident."
The dark blue queen alicorn looked nervous. "Thee had a hard time staying within thoust connect the dot pages' borders."
"Anyway my student/new queen, you need to make haste to stop Evil Bad Lady."
Book Enthusiast looked back her companions and noticed that they haven't been made into humans. "Why aren't my associates like me?"
"That's because your buddies aren't going with you."
"Then, why'd you have them come to the castle with me?"
"It was cheaper to buy seven locomotive tickets. Just don't ask why and accept that it was a lot more cost effective."
"Oh..."
"Fear not dearest queen in training, you can bring your slave reptile with you as long as you get him fixed before you get there."
At the word "fixed" Short Purple Biped covered his wedding tackle in fear.
(Fade to black)
(Commercial break)
"Hey kids you want a toy that feels like petroleum jelly and the crap that comes from the bathtub drain had a baby?!" A disembodied voice screamed as what appeared to be a neon colored vat of pond scum appeared on screen.
Out of nowhere a group of vaguely interested child actors were jump cut edited for reaction purposes. "Do we ever!"
"Then you'll love, new and improved Slosh! Why wait till puberty to play a with a sticky opaque substance that gets covered in hair and becomes all crusty, when you can play with Slosh now!"
"GIMME!!!" All the children shouted in unison.
"It's a toy sorta, and it can be yours for three payments of 8.99!"
(Fade in from black)
Book Enthusiast looked down at her living fax machine. "Now, since I am a human gurl, I need a pet sidekick and because you're my slave reptile, you will be my purple queer looking dog."
"Okay, wait wha--"
Book Enthusiast’s head cone swirled and shot out a beam of light that turned the reptile person into a purple and green lhasa apso
Short Purple Biped looked at himself in the mirror because there was now a mirror in the room. "Like, this makes me feel bad."
"It's okay; you can write a companionship evaluation about it later. However, we need to go now." She then jumped through the portal to the human world.
The Dog that was once formally known as Short Purple Biped looked at Vanity Obsessed and sighed. "I case I don't make it back, I have... always loved you."
"That's sweet and all Darling, but I darling am already dating Mustache Monocle, darling."
With a heavy heart the Dog formally known as Short Purple Biped slowly breathed out and followed his owner though the portal hoping that he would find some chocolate during his and Book Enthusiast’s adventure.
After what seemed like mere seconds the now human pony queen and her slave reptile landed in the human world.
"Wow, this world looks...." *Dramatic pause* "AMAZING!!!"
She then proceeded to walk into the middle of the road because she had never seen asphalt before and wanted to examine it in person.
Of course as she made her way into the street a truck speed towards her. Thanks to her being the protagonist, the truck stopped a few inches short of making her meat wagon fodder.
Getting out of the truck an overly effeminate guy with a spay on tan and waaaaay too much product in his blue hair walked to the girl that he had almost nailed with his vehicle. As he looked upon her, his eyes went wide and he began to resemble a lobotomy recipient. "Eey gurl, my name is Bishie Garrystu and even though this the first I've ever met you, I instantly love you and I'm perfectly fine with following your orders."
"Okay and even though you could be a deranged serial killer that could cut off my face and use it as a wank rag, I instantly trust you. So, anywho can you give a ride to school?"
After a few minutes the two of them and the purple dog arrived at the high school. Book Enthusiast absorbed the human learning center, which like all high schools was in actuality a place of underpaid employees, STD's and god awful food. Anyway, moving on, the former mare carrying her slave dog in her back pack walked through the halls and noticed how eerie similar these people looked like the adolescent horses back home. It was odd that for some reason they all congregated in one location as if their world only consisted of the high school, scary thoughts aside, she trudged forward only to be interrupted once again, this time by bumping into another student.
"I, the Exaggerated and Boastful Trisha is making a cameo that only serves to pander to the fans!" The blue teen blurted out loud as she recovered from her run in with our protagonist.
'Now, where is Evil Bad Lady?'
Her question was soon answered as walked into a nearby classroom and in the back of the class was a relatively normal girl with red and yellow hair who turned to her and used her telepathy to send a message to our hero.
"I hope you know you can't defeat me, you need the Jewelry of Peace and since you're in a realm where most people are self centered. Good luck with that."
This only caused the learning obsessed teenager to become all the more determined to defeat the complete turd of a teenage girl.
One montage later and the hapless nerd assembled a collection of conveniently earned friends in the form of Redneck Fruit Harvester, Technicolor Obnoxious, Meek Animal Lover, Vanity Obsessed and Fuchsia Celebration all through a series of mundane mini-games and short tasks.
"Well, you may have friends now, but I still have the Crown Jewels of Destruction so suck it." Evil Bad Lady let out a laugh before she shot Book Enthusiast a wicked grin. "Oh and one more thing I will use my powers to invoke the powers of Satan, BWA HA HA HA HA!"
No, sooner had those words left her mouth that she began her deadly metamorphosis.
During all this commotion Bishie was still in the school and ran up the stairs in an attempt to save his love interest, but was stopped by his arch-enemy: doors, correction, doors that face inward and so he was trapped as the villain continued her transformation.
As soon a Evil Bad Lady finished her bodily transition, the Jewelry of Peace bearers looked absolutely shocked as she now resembled the devil.
"I suppose you six want to save the day. I was gonna unnecessarily stretch this out over the course of several days, but screw it. I'm just gonna destroy you all right now. Attack my ret--" She was interrupted by her two henchmen.
"You can't say the no-no word."
Evil Bad Lady rolled her eyes. "Fine, attack my exceptional individuals!"
That right instead of using her new awesome power, our antagonists used her servants. It was really kind of a dumb decision on her part.
The purple girl used her only option. She kicked the yellow and blue boys square in the balls with her massive weirdly shaped legs and threw Short Purple Quadruped at Evil Bad Lady causing her and the purple dog to fall in the creator of lava that seemed to come out of nowhere.
Evil Bad Lady melted in the lava all while screaming in agony while the former Short Purple Biped welcomed death's sweet embrace.
When all was said and done, the adolescent horse Book Enthusiast went back home and Bishie Garystu flexed his muscles at the real human Book Enthusiast. Everyone and Everyhorse had a huge party, got laid and lived happily ever after.
The End
