The Party Cannon Versus the Bass Cannon

It was just another normal day in Ponyville, which of course means it was doomed from the start.  Twilight was going to compile a report on the new school of Destiny Magic she had founded, Applejack and Rarity were going to the spa together, Fluttershy was going on a picnic with Discord, Rainbow Dash was practicing to join the Wolderbolts, the Cutie Mark Crusaders was going to attempt to get their cutie marks in being Timelords, and Pinkie Pie was just going to be Pinkie Pie.  Honestly I have no idea how the town survives these kinds of incidents, but hey, someone usually figures it out in half an hour.

As per norm, we shall begin with our favorite purple protagonist, Twilight Sparkle, hard at work in her lab.

Alright, Princess Celestia is counting on me!  I know I can make another new spell by the end of the month!  But what should it do...  I wonder if there's something in a pony's cutie mark that makes them more likely to be a main character...

meanwhile...

"Really Scoots, ah reeeeaaaally don't think you should be touchin' that... that... Whatever it is."

"Yeah, Clockwork told us not to touch it, and he's right more often than Pinkie..."

"Ah come on!  What if this blue boxy thingy let us get a cool cutie mark like Clockwork!"

"Well when ya put it like that..."

"Alright it's settled, here we-"

"IT'S BIGGER ON THE INSIDE"

"I wonder what this lever does?"

meanwhile...

"[size=8]So um... If you don't mind me asking...  How do you do chaos magic?[/size]"

"Oh that's an easy one!  I draw on energy from the Q collective then just snap my fingers like this!"

meanwhile...

Just a little more speed... I'm so close to breaking the spectrum barrier!  I need to be able to do these Sonic Rainbooms on a whim if I'm gonna have any chance of- rainBOOOOOOOOOOM

meanwhile...

"Look we gotta leave town now Mr. Cake!  We're in a random fic, and that means LITERALLY ANYTHING could happen!!!"

"Pinkie, is this what you call breaking the fourth wall?"