Pinkie was standing inside the kitchen, looking over all the different ingredients. She was trying to figure out what to bake for her afternoon tea with Rarity, later today.

Sebastian was lying on the kitchen counter patiently waiting for his master to give him some kind of directive. He shaped his newly formed lips into a circle and started whistling. His whistling was the music of the damned and it caused all the flowers in the kitchen to slowly wither away and die. He smacked his lips and let out a big open mouth yawn, showing of all his sharp teeths. “Pinkie, do you require our help?

Pinkie walked over to her book friend. “You are not screaming! Are you feeling okay?”

“We are fine, Pinkie. We have simply adjusted ourselves to a more proper way speaking,” he said with a toothy smile.

“Hey! You got a real face now and some really nice teeth!” Pinkie picked up her book friend, brought him close to her body and hugged him.

Sebastian's eyes darted quickly from side to side. Despite Pinkie’s good intention, it was making him feel very uncomfortable. “Pinkie! We have a suggestion for this today’s baking project!” he shouted desperately.

Pinkie brought him up to her beaming face. “I’m listening!”

“Put us on the counter and we will share our secrets.”

Pinkie did as she was told. She placed Sebastian on the kitchen counter and put a pair of purple sunglasses on her face.

Sebastian opened up his pages. The two pillars of death had been replaced with four blazing pillars of fire. Surprisingly they did not cause any damage to the ceiling or anything else in the kitchen.
The pillars slowly settled down and sunk back inside the pages. “How about… The cupcakes of despair!” he shouted.

Pinkie bounced up and down in excitement. “That’s a great suggestion! Rarity loves cupcakes! Thanks, Sebastian!”

“Anything for the, Pinkie!” he roared.

Pinkie studied the recipe.
First preheat the oven to 245 degrees.

• 3 cups of all purpose flour.
• 1 1/3 cups of moon-sugar, careful with the dosage. Do not add more!
• 3 teaspoons of baking powder.
• 2 teaspoon of fermented testicle salt. Any testicle will do, but the more exotic the better.
• 1/2 cup of assorted berries, we recommend 3 different kinds at most.
• 1 cup of manticore poison, add the stinger for enhanced effect.
• 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract.
• 4 large Deathclaw eggs, fertilised eggs will enhance the taste, but will increase the cooking time from 10 minutes to 45 minutes.

Mix until the batter is as smooth as a newly clubbed baby seal and pour it into the forms. Bake for 10 minutes or 45 if the eggs were fertilised.

With a smile on her face Pinkie started gathering all the ingredients. And for some mysterious reason she was able to find everything.
She started mixing, mincing and doing everything she needed to do in order to succeed with her cupcakes. “Pinkie, don’t forget to crush the stinger. Unless you want something very crunchy hidden away in one of the cupcakes.”

“Thanks for reminding me, Sebastian! You are such a good assistance. How did I ever bake things without you!”

“Anything for the, Pinkie!”

35 minutes passed and suddenly there was a knock on the door. Pinkie turned around to get the door, but she stopped in her tracks. “Sebastian, can you get the door? I don’t want to leave the cupcakes alone.”

A sickly green aura engulfed Sebastian. “We live to serve you, Pinkie. Your wish is our duty!”
He floated through the kitchen and into the boutique part of the bakery.

Pinkie let out a snort. “Duty,” she giggled.

Sebastian reached the door, but he realized that he lacked the necessary appendages to open it. “Hmm… We guess that our tongue will have to do.” His long purple tongue latched onto the door handle and he elegantly pulled it open.

Rarity looked inside. A little surprised that nobody was there to greet her. “Hello! Pinkie, are you home?”

Suddenly Sebastian appeared before her. He smiled widely, showing off all of his razor sharp teeth. “Welcome, the mortal called Rarity!”

Rarity’s face lost its color, somehow becoming even more white than normal. “P… P… P… Pinkie!” she screamed. She ran towards the kitchen. Once she had gained some distance she looked behind her back and to her horror the book was following her.
She pushed herself to run even faster, but for some reason she was not getting any closer to the kitchen.

“Please have a seat at the table. The master will soon be with you,” Sebastian said, still smiling.

Rarity’s eyes rolled over, showing only the whites. She hung in the air lifeless like a marionette without its strings.

“Uhh… Now what?” Sebastian asked himself. He floated back into the kitchen. “Ermh, Pinkie.”

Pinkie took her eyes off the cupcakes and looked at Sebastian. “Is something wrong, Sebastian?”

“Erhg… Not with us, but your guest seems to have… Passed out.”

Pinkie looked behind Sebastian and saw Rarity floating the middle of the room, surrounded by a nasty green aura. “Oh! It’s fine. Rarity is a bit of a drama queen. Just put her down in one of the chairs at the table. I’ll be out in a minute.”

“Anything for the Pinkie!” Sebastian shouted.

A few minutes passed and Rarity regained her consciousness. She rubbed the sides of her head with her hooves. “Oh, what a horrible nightmare.”

“Really, now? Would you mind sharing this horrible nightmare with us?” A dark and sexy voice said.

Rarity did not recognise the voice, but she loved the sound of it. She opened her eyes and looked towards the other side of the table. “I’m sorry I didn’t know that Pinkie and I were going to have company, but it’s nice to meet you, mr-” Her eyes meet with Sebastian’s and she freaked out.

“Ahh!” she screamed in terror. She tried to run away, but to her surprise she was strapped into a big high chair. “Pinkie, save me!”

Pinkie walked into the dining room with a plate of steaming cupcakes in her mouth. She gently placed them on the table and looked over at her panicking friend. “Oh, you’re stuck in the high chair. Don’t worry, I have gotten myself trapped there once or twice, so I know what do.”

“What? No! Pinkie, nevermind that I’m sitting in this high chair. You have to save me from that monster!” she said while pointing at Sebastian.

“Don’t be silly, Rarity. That’s my book friend Sebastian. He is my kitchen assistant. And I promise you that he wouldn’t hurt a fly,” she said with a smile.

Rarity looked at Sebastian with a great deal of suspicion. “Well if you say so, Pinkie.”

“The mortal named Rarity, we hope you can forgive our rudeness. We did not mean to scare you. Our name is Sebastian and as Pinkie already mentioned, we are her book friend. It’s nice to meet another one of PInkie’s friends.”

“I’m charmed, she said with a hint of venom in her tone.”

“So do you want to drink your tea out of a sippy cup or a bottle, Rarity?”

Rarity turned her head and looked at Pinkie with a bit of confusion. “What? I want a regular teacup. Why would I want a bloody sippy cup?”

“Well, you’re already sitting in the high chair. I thought you wanted to play pretend.”

“No I’m not playing pretend!” Rarity said while fiddling with the the foalproof lock. “Why am I even sitting in this stupid high chair? Please, get me out this instant!”

A few minutes passed and Rarity was now sitting in a regular chair and Pinkie was pouring her a fresh cup of tea. “Thank you, darling.”

“You’re welcome! Sebastian, would you like a cup of tea?”

“We do not require sustenance, but we will have a cup if that is your desire.”

“Okay!” Pinkie said and poured Sebastian a cup of tea.

The three of them spent the next hour talking about the latest fashion, the weather, Rainbow Dash’s odd sleeping disorder and how delicious the cupcakes were. “You have truly outdone yourself this time, Pinkie,” Rarity said while finishing her fifth cupcake.

“Oh, I can’t take all the glory. It’s thanks to Sebastian’s wonderful recipes!”

Sebastian snagged a cupcake with his long tongue, threw it into the air and allowed it to fall into the black abyss that was his mouth. He put his tongue into his teacup and used it as long purple straw. He finished his tea and pulled his tongue back inside his mouth. “We live to serve the master and the master is Pinkie,” he said in a respectful manner.

“Well I have had a wonderful time with the two of you, but I must get back to my boutique. Pinkie, would you mind giving me a few of cupcakes to take home?”

“Nope! I’ll go and put them in a bag for you.” Pinkie got off her chair and bounced into the kitchen.

Rarity watched her friend disappear and then shifted her gaze to Sebastian. “I got my eyes on you, book.”

Sebastian licked his teeth and let out a sinister chuckle. “Oh, miss Rarity. Don’t let the munchies get the better of you.”

“What?”

Sebastian engulfed himself in a green aura and he bursted into flames. His black ashes took the the shape of a snake and then slithered up the stairs, all while laughing very sinisterly.

Rarity knew that she had to do something, but she was unsure what. She figured that only logical thing would be to have a talk with Twilight. She got off her chair and began walking to the door.

“Rarity, wait!” Pinkie shouted from behind.

Rarity turned to face her friend, who was carrying a big plastic bag filled with cupcakes. “You almost forgot your cupcakes!” Pinkie said with a smile.

The second Rarity’s eyes landed on the cupcakes her stomach began to rumble violently and a slight blush appeared on her cheeks. She grabbed the bag with her magic. “Thank you, Pinkie! I’ll see you soon.”

Pinkie followed Rarity outside and waved her off. “Bye!” Rarity waved back to her and Pinkie bounced back inside the shop and closed the door with her tail.

Rarity turned around and started walking quickly towards Twilight’s castle. “I have to tell Twilight about that book.” She was deadset on getting to Twilight, but suddenly her stomach growled again. “Oh, my. How uncouth! I can’t possibly visit Twilight on an empty stomach. I’ll head home, have a quick bite and then It’s straight to Twilight.”

Sebastian leaned against Pinkie’s bedroom window and watched as Rarity viciously delivered the cupcakes one by one. He laughed at the pitiful sight. “She didn’t even make it home. Her hunger will continue to grow, but no matter how much she eat, she will never be full! Muahahaha!”

Pinkie quickly opened the room to her door. “Sebastian!”

Sebastian’s eyes widened in fear. `Oh, shit! Did she hear me?´ he thought.

“You have to be quiet, The babies are asleep!” Pinkie whispered.

“Forgive us, Pinkie! We were just so happy that Rarity enjoyed the cupcakes,” he whispered.

“Awe, that’s okay, Sebastian! I’m going to go clean up the kitchen. You just do whatever you want, but do it quietly, okay?”

“Your wish is our desire.”

Pinkie smiled at him and went back downstairs. “I’m very lucky that the pink one is such an idiot. It won’t long before my powers are restored. And once they are Equestria will learn the true meaning of death!”

* * *

Meanwhile in Canterlot.

Discord sat in his bathtub. He turned on the shower head and piping hot water splashed against his mismatched body. He placed his paw around his knees and began to gently rock himself back and forth.
The water was warm, but his entire body was shivering like it a leaf in the wind. He turned his head and saw a yellow sponge. He grabbed the sponge and poured bleach onto its soft yellow material. The bleach slowly seeped into the sponge and he began to viciously scrub his body.

“Still not clean… Still not clean,” he whispered in a shaky manner.

His fur began to fall off his body, but this just made him scrub harder. His fur clogged the drain and the tub slowly began to fill with water. “Still not clean!” he screamed.

He threw the sponge at the wall and it made a satisfying squishy sound on impact. He grabbed a scissor and a stick of lipstick. He put the lipstick on his lips and slowly began to cut off large pieces of fur.
He looked into the bathroom mirror. “Who’s that? Where is Discord? Where is he? You’re a whore! Wear you whore makeup, you whore! Filthy whore! You’re somebody’s father you filthy whore!”

The water in the tub continued to rise and it started to overflow. Discord looked at the water and he knew that it was going to ruin the floor and the moisture from the water was going to damage everything else. Tears began to stream down his eyes. “I can’t take this any more! Houston, I’m sorry!”

He got out of the tub and slammed his fist into the bathroom mirror, successfully causing it to crack. A large sharp piece of the mirror landed in his hand. He looked into the cracked mirror and saw what he had become.

“End it. This life is not worth living,” his reflection said.

Discord’s breathing grew uneven and his heart rate climbed to an unnatural level. Tears were still streaming down his cheeks. He looked into the mirror and carefully laid the shard of glass against his wrist. “Houston… I’m sorry,” he said with a whimper.
He tore open the bathroom cabinet and grabbed a bottle of blue pills. “Soon I’ll sleep forever,” he said while choking on his tears.
He tore the cap off the bottle and in one swift motion he swallowed every single pill. He took one last look at the laughing version of himself in the mirror and then he slit his wrist. He fell backwards and closed his eyes. “Houston,” he whispered with his last breath.

The light source in the room died out and darkness claimed the room. Would anyone ever find him? Or would this be the final resting place of Discord, the embodiment of chaos.

Suddenly the door to the bathroom opened up and Discord walked in. “Oh, great the light’s out! I need to put that on my cheek list.” Suddenly he stepped in something gooey. “Ek! What the hell did I just step in?” he screamed.

He snapped his fingers and Celestia appeared out of nowhere. “Where am I?” she asked in a confusion manner.

Discord snapped his fingers again and Celestia turned into a Celestia shaped light bulb. He then proceeded to screw the tiny Celestia into the burnt out light socket. The room light up and Discord was finally able to see again. “Oh, great…” he sighed. “Looks like I killed myself again. I hope it wasn’t to dark, after all this story is rated teen... I think.”

Discord looked at the mess and shook his head. “This is going to be someone else's problem!” He snapped his fingers and disappeared in a puff of smoke. He reappeared inside his interdimensional house. He proceed to sit down in his favorite sofa. He put his feet up on the flying sheep in front of him and stretched out his body. “Well that’s the end of this chapter.”

The entire screen grew black and a red and gold drum appeared out of nowhere. Suddenly Discord’s head crashed through the drum. “Tha, tha, tha, that’s all folks!”

Everything grew quiet and the reader left Fimfiction, com and continued on with their lives. “I feel like I've forgotten something… Oh, well. I guess it will come back and bite me in the next chapter,” Discord said in a cheery manner.

Author's Note

Well this was a long time in the making. I have finally decided on a real plot for this story, so future chapters is hopefully written a little better.

I hope you enjoy the chapter. I don’t know when I will post another one.

I don’t have an editor, so if you find any errors feel free to send me a message or write them in the comments. ( I don't know why, but when I import the chapters from Gdocs, they get all messed up. So if anyone know the reason why, feel free to tell me.)

Also, I went back and edited the earlier chapters. Mostly grammar, but I did restructure some of the sentences. No change to the main story though.