Pinkie and the Necronomicon cookbook.

by Asabrasa

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Random, Discord, Pinkie Pie
Length: 5330

Discord is bored so he switches out Pinkie’s cookbook for a more chaotic one.

It’s a beautiful day in Canterlot and Discord is bored out of his skull. In his boredom he decides to take a look at what Pinkie is doing. After some light spying her realized that Pinkie is trying to bake something. In his infinite wisdom he comes up with the brilliant idea of switching out her cookbook with the Necronomicon.

Is Pinkie going to bake something using the Necronomicon?
Is everyone going to die?
Will Discord pay for what he has done?
Will Luna be a tattletale and tell her mother that Celestia has stolen her teddy bear?

You will get the answers to theses questions. Right now!

Yeah, most likely!
I highly doubt that, but you never know.
Maybe…
Is this even part of the story? I guess we’ll find out.

Edited chapter 1 and 2 The first day of June 2015.

Published 2013-12-23 16:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-06-01 21:43:40 UTC

Prologue

Discord was lying in his cloud hammock, inside the old hedge maze. He stretched out his arms and let out a big yawn. He smacked his lips together. “That was a nice nap! Oh, its such a beautiful day!” He pointed to his mouth and made a gagging croak. “Why doesn't it ever rain here? If it did, I would be able to stay inside and annoy Celestia all day,” he sighed.

A fluffy pink bird flew across the sky, singing its wonderfull song. “Hmm, I wonder what Pinkie is up to.” He grabbed a pair of sunglasses out of nowhere and planted them onto his face. through these magical shades he could see anything he wanted. “Target Pinkie pie. Location Ponyville bakery!” His shades made a lot of buzzing and zooming noises until they finally settled onto Pinkie pie.

Pinkie was standing in the kitchen, gathering the ingredients she needed for a cake. “Dashie is coming over today and I’m going to bake her a cake!” Pinkie sang.

Discord stroke his beard and it started to purr. “So Pinkie is baking a cake, huh.” He looked at the cookbook laying on the table. “Oh my, that looks like very boring cookbook. I won’t stand for it! Something has to be done!” His eyes flashed a menacing yellow and he let out a sinister laugh.
He took a deep breath and stuck his head into one of the lenses on his glasses.

His head popped out inside the kitchen and he inhaled deeply. He could not see Pinkie, but he hear her humming to herself. “Ahem,” he cleared his throat. “Wahhhh! Wahhhh! Wahhh!” he cried out in a very high pitched tone and due to him being…himself. The sound magically came from the living room instead of his mouth.

Pinkie stopped what she was doing “Pound cake?” She walked out from the kitchen, leaving Discord’s floating disembodied head all alone.

Discord’s severed head floated over to the kitchen counter. He found Pinkie’s cookbook and read the books title out loud to himself. “How to cake a bake.” He raised one of eyebrows. “What is wrong with the authors these days? I can make a better pun in my sleep,” He mumbled to himself.
“That won’t do! Pinkie deserves something a lot more fun.” He lowered his head and proceeded to eat the book. “Omnom, Nom, Nom! Gulp!” He finished off the book and let out a majestic belch. Now that the boring old book was gone, he put his prank in motion.

His beard took the shape of a hand and snapped its fingers.
A terrifying black book appeared in a puff of smoke. The book’s spine was decorated with the bones of infant ponies and had two skulls on each end. The book’s backside was written in an ancient long forgotten language with something that looked very similar to blood. It had a big white pentagram on the front and,a glowing green headline that read. “Necronomicon.”

“Hmm, that name sound a little too revealing.” He snapped his beard once more and the text on top of the book rewrote itself. Discord let out a laugh and disappeared in a puff of neon blue smoke.

A slightly confused Pinkie returned to the kitchen. “Both Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake is at the park today. So who did I hear?” Pinkie took a moment to think about the situation, but she quickly forgot about it and returned to her baking. She grabbed some eggs from the refrigerator and put them on the table. She walked over to her cookbook. “Necro-om-nom-nom-icon? That’s a funny headline and I bet the recipes inside are super yummy!”

She opened up the book and the pentagram began to glow in a eerie red color. Suddenly the spirits of the damned came flying out and they were screaming like there was no tomorrow. “Argh! Death! Decay! The end of the world as we know it!”

Pinkie scratched her head in confusion. “Hey! You guys quiet down! You are lucky that the twins are out for the day! Now get back inside the book so I can start baking!” she commanded.
The spirits looked at each other in great confusion for a moment. Eventually they shrugged their shoulders and slowly returned to the book’s void like insides.

“Wow! This is the first time I have ever seen a back-lit book! This is awesome, but I would prefer if the light was pink instead of red.” The book let out a tortured moan, it sounded eerie similar to that of a fictional zombie, but for some reason it caused the red glow to slowly change into pink. “Thank you, Mr book!”

“Anything for the master!” A deep dark and very tired voice said.

Pinkie put on a pink chef’s hat and pretended to roll up her sleeves. She then donned her evil mustache for some unexplainable reason. “Let’s get to baking!” She said in a phony Russian accent.

* * *

Back in the maze Discord was snacking on some popcorn and enjoying a large soda. “This is going to be some grade A entertainment. Hahahaha!” he said with a laugh. He flipped a random nearby light switch on and off to simulate dramatic lighting. One can only wonder where he got his claws on a invisible lamp that just happens to make a cartoon lightning bolt sound every time someone turned it on and off.

The prologue is over!

Author's Note

The prologue is over! What are you still doing here?
Press the next chapter button!

CHOCOLATE CAKE OF DOOM

Pinkie opened up the book and tried to find its register, where all the recipes could easily be found, but she found no such thing. “Ermh, Mr book?” she asked carefully.

“Yes, master what is your command!?” the book shouted.

“Do you have a recipe for chocolate cake?”

“If a recipe for chocolate cake is that which you desire, then you shall have it!” The book shouted.
Suddenly the pages light up and two red beams of powerful magical energy shot out from within its pages. The beams crashed through the roof and high into the sky. The roaring pillars of occult energy slowly settled and the book opened up to page 45 “The chocolate cake of doom! the book roared. “It contains neither milk nor gluten products, so everyone can enjoy it.” The book added.

Pinkie studied the recipe.
First preheat the oven to 265 degrees.

• 2,2 pounds of chocolate, chose what kind depending on what flavor you want.
• 4 cups of virgin blood, the younger the better.
• 2 teaspoons of salt.
• 1 teaspoon of baking powder.
Add the soul of one lobster. The taste will greatly increase If said soul is stolen from a lobster that is in the process of getting cooked by a yellow dog who is attempting to make the ultimate sandwich.
• 4,5 cups of flour.

Mix all ingredients until they are as smooth as a heavily decaying corpse. Then pour the batter into the form and put it the oven for 45 minutes. Once cooked allow it to cold down for 10-15 minutes before eating. Serve with a glass of cold milk with a slight hint of fermented goat piss.

Pinkie just stood there, thinking about what she just read. It took a minute until she came to a conclusion. “That sounds like a real treat and Dashie loves chocolate cake! Thank you, Mr Book!”

“Anything for the master!”

“Please call me Pinkie, all my friends do.”

“Anything for, the Pinkie!”

Pinkie quickly gathered all the ingredients. “It’s a good thing I just happened to have all the ingredients just laying around in the kitchen!”

One hour passed and the whole bakery was overflowing with the wonderful smell of chocolate cake. Rainbow Dash could smell it from the sky so she flew even faster, so that she could get her tasty treat quicker while it was still fresh out the oven.
She knocked on the door and Pinkie greeted her and led her into the kitchen. “Take a seat, Dashie. I’ll have slice of cake ready for you in a minute. What would you like to drink?”

“Anything will be fine. Just hurry up! That cake smells so good! What kind is it?”

Pinkie disappeared into the kitchen, to plate some of the cake. “Mr, Book will tell you!” she shouted.

The black book teleported from the kitchen and onto the table, in a dark flash. Dash was surprised by this and almost fell out of her chair. “Mortal one! Prepare your tastebuds for the chocolate cake of doom! The Pinkie, have been working very hard on it! So the least you can do is to enjoy it with your life!” It roared.

Dash’s eyes widened and a shiver went down her spine.”Brr, I don’t like that book.” She then carefully pushed the book off the end of the table.

The book landed on the ground with a thud. “Ouch!”

Pinkie came out of the kitchen. She was carrying a tray with two thick slices of cake and two tall glasses of milk. “There you go, Dashie. Enjoy!” Pinke barely had time to sit down before Dash had viciously attacked her slice of cake.

“Wow, this tastes awesome!” Dash said in between bites.

“Glad you like it, I got plenty more!” Pinkie said with a big smile.

Half an hour passed and Dash had just finished her third slice of cake. She finished the last of her milk and sank into the chair. “Blargh! I think I’ll skip dinner tonight.” She said, patting her full tummy.
Suddenly Dash’s stomach growled loudly and a loud belch bellowed out her mouth. She quickly covered her mouth with her hooves and her cheeks flushed a bright red color “I'm so sorry, Pinkie! That was not cool of me…” She might not be the fanciest pony in Ponyville, but burping out loud by the table is still a no no. “I don’t know where that came from.”

“Oh, Silly! It came from your tummy!” Pinkie giggled.

“Well thanks for the cake, Pinkie. I wish I could stay a little longer, but I got some clouds to take care of.” Dash waved to Pinkie and flew off into the sky.

Pinkie got up and cleared the table.
She grabbed Mr, Book and walked up the stairs that lead to the hallway, which in turn lead to her room. She placed Mr, Book on her desk. “Thanks for the help, Mr Book! Also, do you have a real name?”

“I’m known by many names!”

“Well… Do you have one you prefer?”

“Hmm, you may call me Sebastian!”

“Oke Doke Loki!” Pinkie jumped into the air and divebombed into her bed, somehow managing to perfectly covering herself with her blanket in the process. “Good night, Sebastian!”

“Good night, Pinkie!

Pinkie quickly fell asleep. She snored audibly and judging by the way her body was twitching, she was greatly enjoying everything the dream land had to offer.

* * *

Meanwhile over at Rainbow’s house.

Another loud belch escaped Rainbow’s abdomen. “Oh, that was some super tasty cake! I need to ask Pinkie for the recipe.” The clock on her wall hit 23:00 and a wonderbolt figurine flew out and made a silly noise.
“Well it’s time to hit the hay!” Dash hovered over to her bed and crash landed into it. She closed her eyes, but she was unable to fall asleep. She tried turning over, flipping her pillow and everything else one tends to do when they can’t sleep.

“Wahahahahahah!” Sebastian laughed. “The rainbow one will never sleep again! Thus is the curse of the chocolate cake of doom. Her body will slowly crumble away and once it reaches its limit. The rainbow one will die and I will reclaim a piece of myself. Hahahahah!”

Pinkie groggily opened her eyes. “Eurgh, Sebastian I know you are happy about the success of the cake and all, but I want to sleep.” Pinkie said still half asleep.

“Anything for, the Pinkie!” He shouted quietly. The night was coming to an end and once the moon had lowered over the horizon. Sebastian’s body began to glow in a creepy manner. His cover changed from a pentagram into three sets of dragon like eyes and a large mouth filled with razor sharp teeth emerged underneath them. “One step closer to the end.” He whispered to himself.

* * *

Meanwhile in the Canterlot hedge maze.

Discord laid in his patented cloud jacuzzi and simple enjoyed the wonders of being free. “Oh,” he moaned. “This is the life. Nice warm water, bubbles all over my body, a big glass of chocolate milk and of course, the joy of having completely forgotten about the evil book that I gave to Pinkie.” He slid deeper into the warm water and let out a deep sigh.

“Hm, something is missing. I feel like I have forgotten something important… Oh, well!” He snapped his fingers in sudden realization. “that’s right entertainment! You can’t enjoy a bubble bath without some fancy entertainment.” He stroked his beard as he thought about what kind of entertainment would entertain him the most.
“I got it!” He snapped his fingers together and a slingshot came into existence. He aimed it up into the sky and drew the string back. “Steady, steady.” He released the string and a tiny rock flew towards the top of the castle

“Ouch!” Celestia roared.

“Oopsie...that was not part of the plan.” Celestia’s mane turned into an ever flowing rainbow of fire and a big pillar of smoke emerged from within the castle.
Discord gulped audibly. “Well, scuba diving is fun!” He snapped his fingers together and in a flash of light he was covered in a scuba outfit. He dove into his jacuzzi and disappeared.

A very angry Celestia landed inside the hedge maze and she walked over to the jacuzzi. “I don’t recall there ever being a hot tub out here... Oh,well finders keepers!” She sat down in the jacuzzi and made herself comfy. Her mane returned to normal and she felt truly relaxed.

Meanwhile deep down in the jacuzzi Discord was having a bit of a problem. “Houston we have a problem. I have had a run in with Kraken and he is now chasing me.”

“This is Houston. Abort the mission and return to the surface.” Houston said.

“This is Discord again. We have another problem. A big white whale is blocking my only exit.”

“We need visual” Houston shouted.

“I don’t think that is a good idea, but suit yourself.” Discord flipped a switch and was now filming the white whale’s butt.”

“Ahh It's horrible!” Houston yelled before getting cut of by static.

A giant tentacle wrapped around Discord’s waist. “This is not looking good for little old me.”

To be continued……….maybe.

Author's Note

Well Discord is in quite a pickle, but at least the cake was good.

Cupcakes of despair!

Pinkie was standing inside the kitchen, looking over all the different ingredients. She was trying to figure out what to bake for her afternoon tea with Rarity, later today.

Sebastian was lying on the kitchen counter patiently waiting for his master to give him some kind of directive. He shaped his newly formed lips into a circle and started whistling. His whistling was the music of the damned and it caused all the flowers in the kitchen to slowly wither away and die. He smacked his lips and let out a big open mouth yawn, showing of all his sharp teeths. “Pinkie, do you require our help?

Pinkie walked over to her book friend. “You are not screaming! Are you feeling okay?”

“We are fine, Pinkie. We have simply adjusted ourselves to a more proper way speaking,” he said with a toothy smile.

“Hey! You got a real face now and some really nice teeth!” Pinkie picked up her book friend, brought him close to her body and hugged him.

Sebastian's eyes darted quickly from side to side. Despite Pinkie’s good intention, it was making him feel very uncomfortable. “Pinkie! We have a suggestion for this today’s baking project!” he shouted desperately.

Pinkie brought him up to her beaming face. “I’m listening!”

“Put us on the counter and we will share our secrets.”

Pinkie did as she was told. She placed Sebastian on the kitchen counter and put a pair of purple sunglasses on her face.

Sebastian opened up his pages. The two pillars of death had been replaced with four blazing pillars of fire. Surprisingly they did not cause any damage to the ceiling or anything else in the kitchen.
The pillars slowly settled down and sunk back inside the pages. “How about… The cupcakes of despair!” he shouted.

Pinkie bounced up and down in excitement. “That’s a great suggestion! Rarity loves cupcakes! Thanks, Sebastian!”

“Anything for the, Pinkie!” he roared.

Pinkie studied the recipe.
First preheat the oven to 245 degrees.

• 3 cups of all purpose flour.
• 1 1/3 cups of moon-sugar, careful with the dosage. Do not add more!
• 3 teaspoons of baking powder.
• 2 teaspoon of fermented testicle salt. Any testicle will do, but the more exotic the better.
• 1/2 cup of assorted berries, we recommend 3 different kinds at most.
• 1 cup of manticore poison, add the stinger for enhanced effect.
• 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract.
• 4 large Deathclaw eggs, fertilised eggs will enhance the taste, but will increase the cooking time from 10 minutes to 45 minutes.

Mix until the batter is as smooth as a newly clubbed baby seal and pour it into the forms. Bake for 10 minutes or 45 if the eggs were fertilised.

With a smile on her face Pinkie started gathering all the ingredients. And for some mysterious reason she was able to find everything.
She started mixing, mincing and doing everything she needed to do in order to succeed with her cupcakes. “Pinkie, don’t forget to crush the stinger. Unless you want something very crunchy hidden away in one of the cupcakes.”

“Thanks for reminding me, Sebastian! You are such a good assistance. How did I ever bake things without you!”

“Anything for the, Pinkie!”

35 minutes passed and suddenly there was a knock on the door. Pinkie turned around to get the door, but she stopped in her tracks. “Sebastian, can you get the door? I don’t want to leave the cupcakes alone.”

A sickly green aura engulfed Sebastian. “We live to serve you, Pinkie. Your wish is our duty!”
He floated through the kitchen and into the boutique part of the bakery.

Pinkie let out a snort. “Duty,” she giggled.

Sebastian reached the door, but he realized that he lacked the necessary appendages to open it. “Hmm… We guess that our tongue will have to do.” His long purple tongue latched onto the door handle and he elegantly pulled it open.

Rarity looked inside. A little surprised that nobody was there to greet her. “Hello! Pinkie, are you home?”

Suddenly Sebastian appeared before her. He smiled widely, showing off all of his razor sharp teeth. “Welcome, the mortal called Rarity!”

Rarity’s face lost its color, somehow becoming even more white than normal. “P… P… P… Pinkie!” she screamed. She ran towards the kitchen. Once she had gained some distance she looked behind her back and to her horror the book was following her.
She pushed herself to run even faster, but for some reason she was not getting any closer to the kitchen.

“Please have a seat at the table. The master will soon be with you,” Sebastian said, still smiling.

Rarity’s eyes rolled over, showing only the whites. She hung in the air lifeless like a marionette without its strings.

“Uhh… Now what?” Sebastian asked himself. He floated back into the kitchen. “Ermh, Pinkie.”

Pinkie took her eyes off the cupcakes and looked at Sebastian. “Is something wrong, Sebastian?”

“Erhg… Not with us, but your guest seems to have… Passed out.”

Pinkie looked behind Sebastian and saw Rarity floating the middle of the room, surrounded by a nasty green aura. “Oh! It’s fine. Rarity is a bit of a drama queen. Just put her down in one of the chairs at the table. I’ll be out in a minute.”

“Anything for the Pinkie!” Sebastian shouted.

A few minutes passed and Rarity regained her consciousness. She rubbed the sides of her head with her hooves. “Oh, what a horrible nightmare.”

“Really, now? Would you mind sharing this horrible nightmare with us?” A dark and sexy voice said.

Rarity did not recognise the voice, but she loved the sound of it. She opened her eyes and looked towards the other side of the table. “I’m sorry I didn’t know that Pinkie and I were going to have company, but it’s nice to meet you, mr-” Her eyes meet with Sebastian’s and she freaked out.

“Ahh!” she screamed in terror. She tried to run away, but to her surprise she was strapped into a big high chair. “Pinkie, save me!”

Pinkie walked into the dining room with a plate of steaming cupcakes in her mouth. She gently placed them on the table and looked over at her panicking friend. “Oh, you’re stuck in the high chair. Don’t worry, I have gotten myself trapped there once or twice, so I know what do.”

“What? No! Pinkie, nevermind that I’m sitting in this high chair. You have to save me from that monster!” she said while pointing at Sebastian.

“Don’t be silly, Rarity. That’s my book friend Sebastian. He is my kitchen assistant. And I promise you that he wouldn’t hurt a fly,” she said with a smile.

Rarity looked at Sebastian with a great deal of suspicion. “Well if you say so, Pinkie.”

“The mortal named Rarity, we hope you can forgive our rudeness. We did not mean to scare you. Our name is Sebastian and as Pinkie already mentioned, we are her book friend. It’s nice to meet another one of PInkie’s friends.”

“I’m charmed, she said with a hint of venom in her tone.”

“So do you want to drink your tea out of a sippy cup or a bottle, Rarity?”

Rarity turned her head and looked at Pinkie with a bit of confusion. “What? I want a regular teacup. Why would I want a bloody sippy cup?”

“Well, you’re already sitting in the high chair. I thought you wanted to play pretend.”

“No I’m not playing pretend!” Rarity said while fiddling with the the foalproof lock. “Why am I even sitting in this stupid high chair? Please, get me out this instant!”

A few minutes passed and Rarity was now sitting in a regular chair and Pinkie was pouring her a fresh cup of tea. “Thank you, darling.”

“You’re welcome! Sebastian, would you like a cup of tea?”

“We do not require sustenance, but we will have a cup if that is your desire.”

“Okay!” Pinkie said and poured Sebastian a cup of tea.

The three of them spent the next hour talking about the latest fashion, the weather, Rainbow Dash’s odd sleeping disorder and how delicious the cupcakes were. “You have truly outdone yourself this time, Pinkie,” Rarity said while finishing her fifth cupcake.

“Oh, I can’t take all the glory. It’s thanks to Sebastian’s wonderful recipes!”

Sebastian snagged a cupcake with his long tongue, threw it into the air and allowed it to fall into the black abyss that was his mouth. He put his tongue into his teacup and used it as long purple straw. He finished his tea and pulled his tongue back inside his mouth. “We live to serve the master and the master is Pinkie,” he said in a respectful manner.

“Well I have had a wonderful time with the two of you, but I must get back to my boutique. Pinkie, would you mind giving me a few of cupcakes to take home?”

“Nope! I’ll go and put them in a bag for you.” Pinkie got off her chair and bounced into the kitchen.

Rarity watched her friend disappear and then shifted her gaze to Sebastian. “I got my eyes on you, book.”

Sebastian licked his teeth and let out a sinister chuckle. “Oh, miss Rarity. Don’t let the munchies get the better of you.”

“What?”

Sebastian engulfed himself in a green aura and he bursted into flames. His black ashes took the the shape of a snake and then slithered up the stairs, all while laughing very sinisterly.

Rarity knew that she had to do something, but she was unsure what. She figured that only logical thing would be to have a talk with Twilight. She got off her chair and began walking to the door.

“Rarity, wait!” Pinkie shouted from behind.

Rarity turned to face her friend, who was carrying a big plastic bag filled with cupcakes. “You almost forgot your cupcakes!” Pinkie said with a smile.

The second Rarity’s eyes landed on the cupcakes her stomach began to rumble violently and a slight blush appeared on her cheeks. She grabbed the bag with her magic. “Thank you, Pinkie! I’ll see you soon.”

Pinkie followed Rarity outside and waved her off. “Bye!” Rarity waved back to her and Pinkie bounced back inside the shop and closed the door with her tail.

Rarity turned around and started walking quickly towards Twilight’s castle. “I have to tell Twilight about that book.” She was deadset on getting to Twilight, but suddenly her stomach growled again. “Oh, my. How uncouth! I can’t possibly visit Twilight on an empty stomach. I’ll head home, have a quick bite and then It’s straight to Twilight.”

Sebastian leaned against Pinkie’s bedroom window and watched as Rarity viciously delivered the cupcakes one by one. He laughed at the pitiful sight. “She didn’t even make it home. Her hunger will continue to grow, but no matter how much she eat, she will never be full! Muahahaha!”

Pinkie quickly opened the room to her door. “Sebastian!”

Sebastian’s eyes widened in fear. `Oh, shit! Did she hear me?´ he thought.

“You have to be quiet, The babies are asleep!” Pinkie whispered.

“Forgive us, Pinkie! We were just so happy that Rarity enjoyed the cupcakes,” he whispered.

“Awe, that’s okay, Sebastian! I’m going to go clean up the kitchen. You just do whatever you want, but do it quietly, okay?”

“Your wish is our desire.”

Pinkie smiled at him and went back downstairs. “I’m very lucky that the pink one is such an idiot. It won’t long before my powers are restored. And once they are Equestria will learn the true meaning of death!”

* * *

Meanwhile in Canterlot.

Discord sat in his bathtub. He turned on the shower head and piping hot water splashed against his mismatched body. He placed his paw around his knees and began to gently rock himself back and forth.
The water was warm, but his entire body was shivering like it a leaf in the wind. He turned his head and saw a yellow sponge. He grabbed the sponge and poured bleach onto its soft yellow material. The bleach slowly seeped into the sponge and he began to viciously scrub his body.

“Still not clean… Still not clean,” he whispered in a shaky manner.

His fur began to fall off his body, but this just made him scrub harder. His fur clogged the drain and the tub slowly began to fill with water. “Still not clean!” he screamed.

He threw the sponge at the wall and it made a satisfying squishy sound on impact. He grabbed a scissor and a stick of lipstick. He put the lipstick on his lips and slowly began to cut off large pieces of fur.
He looked into the bathroom mirror. “Who’s that? Where is Discord? Where is he? You’re a whore! Wear you whore makeup, you whore! Filthy whore! You’re somebody’s father you filthy whore!”

The water in the tub continued to rise and it started to overflow. Discord looked at the water and he knew that it was going to ruin the floor and the moisture from the water was going to damage everything else. Tears began to stream down his eyes. “I can’t take this any more! Houston, I’m sorry!”

He got out of the tub and slammed his fist into the bathroom mirror, successfully causing it to crack. A large sharp piece of the mirror landed in his hand. He looked into the cracked mirror and saw what he had become.

“End it. This life is not worth living,” his reflection said.

Discord’s breathing grew uneven and his heart rate climbed to an unnatural level. Tears were still streaming down his cheeks. He looked into the mirror and carefully laid the shard of glass against his wrist. “Houston… I’m sorry,” he said with a whimper.
He tore open the bathroom cabinet and grabbed a bottle of blue pills. “Soon I’ll sleep forever,” he said while choking on his tears.
He tore the cap off the bottle and in one swift motion he swallowed every single pill. He took one last look at the laughing version of himself in the mirror and then he slit his wrist. He fell backwards and closed his eyes. “Houston,” he whispered with his last breath.

The light source in the room died out and darkness claimed the room. Would anyone ever find him? Or would this be the final resting place of Discord, the embodiment of chaos.

Suddenly the door to the bathroom opened up and Discord walked in. “Oh, great the light’s out! I need to put that on my cheek list.” Suddenly he stepped in something gooey. “Ek! What the hell did I just step in?” he screamed.

He snapped his fingers and Celestia appeared out of nowhere. “Where am I?” she asked in a confusion manner.

Discord snapped his fingers again and Celestia turned into a Celestia shaped light bulb. He then proceeded to screw the tiny Celestia into the burnt out light socket. The room light up and Discord was finally able to see again. “Oh, great…” he sighed. “Looks like I killed myself again. I hope it wasn’t to dark, after all this story is rated teen... I think.”

Discord looked at the mess and shook his head. “This is going to be someone else's problem!” He snapped his fingers and disappeared in a puff of smoke. He reappeared inside his interdimensional house. He proceed to sit down in his favorite sofa. He put his feet up on the flying sheep in front of him and stretched out his body. “Well that’s the end of this chapter.”

The entire screen grew black and a red and gold drum appeared out of nowhere. Suddenly Discord’s head crashed through the drum. “Tha, tha, tha, that’s all folks!”

Everything grew quiet and the reader left Fimfiction, com and continued on with their lives. “I feel like I've forgotten something… Oh, well. I guess it will come back and bite me in the next chapter,” Discord said in a cheery manner.

Author's Note

Well this was a long time in the making. I have finally decided on a real plot for this story, so future chapters is hopefully written a little better.

I hope you enjoy the chapter. I don’t know when I will post another one.

I don’t have an editor, so if you find any errors feel free to send me a message or write them in the comments. ( I don't know why, but when I import the chapters from Gdocs, they get all messed up. So if anyone know the reason why, feel free to tell me.)

Also, I went back and edited the earlier chapters. Mostly grammar, but I did restructure some of the sentences. No change to the main story though.