Grey Mane

“I don’t think we should go in.”

“What? Why not?”

“There are no lights on inside.”

“Well, the sign says ‘open’, so it’s open.”

“Well still...”

“Dude, just go in.”

“Fine.”

Chime

“SURPRISE!!!”

Grey Mane nearly jumped out of his skin as the lights turned on and all the ponies in Sugarcube Corner jumped out of their hiding places, yelling “Surprise”. It looked like the whole town was in here.

They actually did fit the entire town into the place. Apparently, sometime after Twilight Sparkle’s coronation, the building was rebuilt bigger than it previously was. The cakes did this for a big celebration for the new princess. It didn’t take too long, since they only took out one wall and made the place bigger that way.

Grey Mane found himself unable to move as he looked around at all the ponies that surrounded him. He almost felt like panicking. He desperately wanted to leave. Standing right in front of him was the pink pony he had seen earlier. This time he actually got a good look at her hair. It was all puffy and a darker shade of pink. It bounced as the pony herself did so.

“Hi, my name is Pinkie Pie, and I thought it would be a fun idea to throw a party to welcome you to Ponyville!” she said excitedly as she bounced around Grey Mane, who just stood there surprised at the speed of her speech. He couldn’t talk that fast without ending up speaking gibberish.

“You’re new here, right? I can tell, because I have never seen you before, and I know everypony in Ponyville, including your aunt and uncle, who are my most best-est friends in all of Equestria. Well, actually everypony is my best friend in all of Equestria, but seriously, what could be better than that?!” She had her front hooves raised in the air.

How is she talking like that without having to take a breath, or even running out of breath?

Grey Mane just looked around as ponies started talking to each other or dancing as soon as the music started. But many would still keep their eyes on him. He felt very nervous. He just wanted to leave right now. He followed Pinkie further inside, towards a bunch of tables.

“I really, really, really hope you will enjoy this party. We got games, dancing, and singing. We’ve also got cupcakes, and cup-cakes, and tall cakes, and small cakes, and cake-cakes, and fake cakes.”

In the order of which she introduced each thing, there was a pyramid of cupcakes with many different colors of icing. Next to that was a cake that was actually shaped like a cup. A pretty impressive piece of art, really. Then there was a cake over six feet high. That might even be taller than Celestia herself.

Then there was a cake that was very small. It was approximately an inch in diameter. You could fit five of those onto a foal’s hoof. Next to that sat just a regular cake. And finally, sitting next to that cake was what appeared to be a cake, until it fell over, revealing it to be a piece of cardboard.

“There are also presents, and candy, and food!” Then she started bouncing excitedly. “Ooooohh, we are going to be such good friends. This is a totally fun-er-ific party! Whoo-hoo!” She leaped into the air and started bouncing from her front hooves to her back hooves all over the place.

Rainbow Dash walked up to him, chuckling nervously. “Sorry about her. She always gets excited when a new pony comes to town. She always likes to throw a party for them. And her excitement has gone up a smidge since our friend Twilight became a princess.”

Grey Mane looked at Pinkie Pie again. She stuck face into a pie, and it was gone in seconds. She lifted her head, her face entirely covered in the cherry filling. She scooped it all up with her tongue, cleaning her face completely as she ate the pie filling.

The grey stallion looked at Rainbow, who had an amused smile on her face. He looked back at Pinkie. He didn’t want to be around such a hyped up pony. And she was being a little loud whenever she talked. But at least she was able to be quiet, unlike the music, because he hated the constant loud noise. Why couldn’t they turn it down?

He decided to leave it be. He didn’t want to ruin these other ponies’ moods by turning down the music. He didn’t want anypony to hate him for doing what would make him more comfortable. If everyone here liked it, then he would have to live through it until the end. His eyes started to tear up, thinking of how stupid he was for not being able to ask somepony to turn the sound down a bit,

“Are you not gonna take those bags off?” Grey Mane shook his head and walked away from the Pegasus. Anytime he would leave the house, he was never willing to take his saddlebags off.

He decided to have something to eat. He looked at one of the food on the tables. There were a few plates with cupcake pyramids, two regular cakes, a bowl of punch with cups, and there was even fruit and vegetables on a tray as well. He sure did love his sweets, but he would not eat too much. He walked towards the cupcakes.

He just stood by the table for a while. He reached his hoof slowly towards to top of the pyramid. But then he became hesitant. He looked around for anypony who would tell him not to have one.

Seriously? he thought to himself. This is ridiculous! You are allowed to eat whatever you want here, otherwise it wouldn’t be set up like this. He reached again for the cupcake, but he froze. However, no one else is eating anything. Is this the best time to eat? Should I just wait? Well, that Pinkie character ate that pie. But then again, she is the host.

He knew it was completely ridiculous to freak out in his mind over eating, and he hated every second of it. But it just didn’t feel right, eating something without knowing that it was alright to do so. He wasn’t sure whether to wait until other ponies came to eat something, ask Pinkie Pie, or just go right ahead.

The battle in his mind finally ended when he put his hoof back down to the ground. He decided to wait.

Then Pinkie hopped past him. “You know, you can have one if you want.”

Grey Mane took that as his cue. Slowly, but non-hesitantly, he reached for the top cupcake and scooped it in one hoof, holding it sideways, and then placing it upright in the other. Luckily, they didn’t have the cup thing on them. That was how they always were ever since a problem was discovered with Earth Ponies and Pegasi trying to unwrap them. They couldn’t.

The grey stallion took a bite out of the cupcake. As much as he loved the taste of that cupcake, his face was still a sad frown. He did like the treats in this place, but nothing would cure him from how upset he really was. More than anything at this moment, he wanted to leave this place. There were too many ponies here.

He walked to an empty corner of the store and sat down, eating his cupcake, and continued to think. After a few more bites the cupcake was gone and he wanted to grab another. But when he reached the table, he started to reconsider. Is he allowed to have seconds? The other ponies might want some eventually. And if he ate another, maybe some other pony wouldn’t get one. There were a few pyramids of cupcakes and it was likely that they wouldn’t run out, but he didn’t want to take any chances.

He decided to wait. At least he didn’t have to worry about making this decision because he already had a cupcake. It wouldn’t be fair to have two, and someone else would have none. So he was perfectly fine with the decision he made.

He walked back to the corner he was at before and sat down. He looked around at all the ponies, partly to make sure none would be heading towards him. But he also wanted to observe their behaviors. Are any of them the type of pony who would do something stupid at parties? Are any of them mean? Why were two of them constantly looking at him?

Grey Mane turned his head away as he saw two mares looking at him. One was a mint-colored unicorn. Her mane and tail looked like a paler shade, both with a white streak. Her cutie mark was a harp. The other mare was an Earth pony with a light yellow coat, much lighter than Fluttershy’s. Her mane and tail were two different colors, dark blue and pink. She had three pieces of wrapped candy as her cutie mark. Their eyes shifted from each other to the grey pony.

Why were they staring at him? Did they see his empty flank? Did they see... his other secret? He hoped to Celestia they didn’t. They would continuously bug him about it for the rest of his life. He made sure his bags were tight enough around him that no one would see either problem. He felt that familiar sense of shame from every other time he so much as looked at the very things he wished he never had.

He sighed and looked at the floor. He started daydreaming. What he would often daydream about would usually start out good. He would be dating a mare, he was actually loved, and he was actually happy. But the dreams would end with hatred and anger directed at him from that particular mare. He was currently having one of those dreams. He felt more sadness build up inside him and left the dream.

He decided not to bother trying to think about things he was sure he would never have. Then he started humming quietly to himself, loud enough to hear himself over the music, but quiet enough that no one could hear. He was humming a song he had made up recently. It was a sad piece he had made. He began to sway slightly to the tune he hummed. But after a while, he realized that the two mare were still looking his way while talking to each other.

They keep staring at me. Why?

He began to feel annoyed, and he was worried about what they were talking about. Surely they were talking about him if they kept looking at him. He became even more desperate to leave. Were they saying mean things about him? Or worse, did they like him?

Grey Mane had learned from bullying experiences to never trust anyone. Therefore, he did not allow himself to become friends with anypony, no matter how much he really wanted to. The same went with a “special somepony”. He did not want to be turned against. He never wanted to be hated. He was afraid that anyone he became friends with would eventually not want to be his friend anymore.

So he figured that he would spend his life alone. But deep inside he was desperate for some one to care for him. He hated himself more and more as he would keep fantasizing about relationships that would have no chance of existing.

He moved slightly to the side so that the two mares would no longer see him behind the tall cake. But the two mares then seemed to be walking towards the table.

What the hay do they want?!

He tried to walk away until one of them called out, “Hey, buddy.” He turned and looked at the unicorn mare, who had walked around the table to meet him. “Where do you think you are headed?”

Grey Mane stayed silent and shrugged. The Earth pony stepped beside her friend. “You are new, right? Why don’t you join the party?”

’Cause there’s nothing worth having a party for.

He sighed and walked towards where the other ponies were. He instantly became uncomfortable. But he tried his best not to leave. This party was for him, after all. But he didn’t care. He hated parties. He took one step towards the center of the store. Then a pony rushed past him, causing him to stick to the wall. Then the music changed to a much louder song.

He sighed again; there was no point to this. There is no point to staying here. If this party was for him, nopony else seemed to care about that. He decided to leave anyway. He stuck close to the walls as he headed towards the door. He hoped to not to be bumped into by anypony. As long as he was outside of this place, he would feel safe.

But then some ponies stepped in the way and he froze. He walked around the crowd of ponies to try and find another way to the door, but unfortunately, the entire way was blocked. There were too many ponies. He stepped backwards, feeling tears start to come up again.

Why does there have to be so many ponies in here? Stupid social anxiety.

“Grey Mane?”

He turned his head to find Fluttershy walking towards him. She looked rather concerned, seeing how upset he was. He turned his head towards the ground. He heard her stop walking right beside him.

“Are you okay?”

Grey Mane kept his mouth shut as he shrugged.

“Do you want to leave?”

He looked at her face for a short second before looking at her hooves. He always had trouble keeping eye contact, because his eyes always seemed to automatically look in any other direction. He just kept his eyes down and answered her with a nod.

The yellow mare looked towards the door. “Follow me.” She walked towards the group of ponies, followed by Grey Mane. Then he heard her soft voice speak. “Excuse me, please.” Two ponies nodded and turned to let Fluttershy pass between them. The shy pony looked at the grey stallion before walking to the door. Grey Mane walked past the two ponies and left the building.

When he finally got outside, the stallion let out a sigh of relief. He preferred this, being in a quiet and less crowded area. But he really wanted to get home. He honestly would rather stay in his room and do nothing than leave his house to do something.

“Why would you want to leave the party? It was supposed to welcome you to Ponyville.” The mare walked next to Grey Mane as he started off towards his home.

“Well... I just... don’t... like parties.” He spoke slowly, nervously pausing between words. He wasn’t sure if he should have given that answer. Would anyone here hate a pony who hates parties? He hoped not.

“Oh, well, I’m not too fond of them myself. But the only reason I stay is because I have such wonderful friends who love to have me around.” Grey Mane sighed as she continued. “I thought you might want the same thing. I thought that maybe you and I could hang out during the party.” She started to blush lightly and looked away from Grey Mane.

The grey pony stopped and said flatly, “No thank you.”

“Why not?”

He began to feel irritated, but tried to remain calm. “I just want to go home.” He continued walking.

Fluttershy walked alongside him. “But we threw this party for you.”

“So what?”

“Well, I thought you could at least try to enjoy it.”

“Well, first off, I didn’t ask for a party. Now can you please leave me alone?”

Fluttershy stopped walking, shocked at Grey Mane’s words. That was the most he had ever said to anypony. She felt bad for upsetting him. “Okay. Sorry.” She sadly walked back.

At that moment, Grey Mane started scolding himself. Nice going, you stupid moron. Now she is gonna hate you for the rest of your life. Screw me, and everything else about my life! He sighed heavily. She wanted to be friends with me. Why? She doesn’t even know anything about me. None of them do, so what makes me so special? Why would they care? I’m just some pony with no cutie mark and a fear of everyone else.

What is so great about me?