Whack your Assistant!

by TittySparkles

Rating: mature
Tags: Dark, Comedy
Length: 10638

Comment driven story where you tell me how Twilight kills Spike

Many dark and dastardly things are done in the pursuit of research and Twilight knows this rule very well. Thankfully with the aid of magic, Twilight is able to push the limits of pursuit and make very large gains in any topic she wanted to. The topic she wishes to learn about next is how durable and how many ways a baby dragon can be killed. Armed with a memory wiping spell and a time reversing one to boot, Twilight begins her dark descent into the pointless murdering of her number one assistant.

Comment driven story where you name me an object ( or anything at all) and I in turn write a short story about how it's used to kill Spike.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-11-20 22:53:03 UTC

prologue to death- Scissors

“Spike! Could you come up here for a minute!?” The lavender alicorn shouted from her room as she wrote the last few incantations on a scroll.

While she waited eagerly for her assistance to arrive, her mind pondered the events that were about to take place. She knew what she had in mind would be life scarring but thankfully she had all the things in place to make sure it wasn’t.

“Yah, Twilight?” the young dragon replied as he rushed into the room and noticed a large pile of scroll on the floor.

“Ah, perfect. Spike could you help me with a few small experiments?” Twilight asked as she lit up her horn and grabbed all the scrolls before lifting them up in the air. “You help me out and you get this bucket full of gems.”

At the mention of gems, Spike’s eyes went wide and as the pile of scrolls went up, hidden underneath them was a moderate size bucket, overflowing when diamonds, sapphire, rubies, and even emerald. The young dragon’s tongue flickered and his mouth watered with anticipation at the mere thought of scarfing down a gem.

“Mhmmm, anything for a gem,” Spike replied in an almost trance like state as he started to walk towards the bucket.

“Good,” Twilight replied before she dropped the spell and put the scrolls back down. “Now the experiments I’ll be performing on you with magic will be considered… questionable by many, however in the everlasting run for knowledge, along with the fact that I’ll end up making this nonexistent for you, I need to test the durability of a baby dragon.”

“Oh?” Spike replied suddenly not feeling so keen on being around her. “How do you plan to test my… durability?”

Twilight paused for a second and gave her assistant a cold stare before turning her head towards the pile of scrolls and grabbing one.

“Spike, remember when we found those time spells in the Canterlot archives?” Twilight asked as she opened the scroll and placed it on the ground.

“Yeah. What about them?”

“Well, after reading up on a few books and notes Star Swirl wrote, I’ve discovered and created a very interesting spell I’m eager to try out.”

Twilight’s horn glowed a bright purple before a bubble of magic enveloped her body and gave it a soft prismatic glow. Spike said nothing but the more Twilight spoke, the more he couldn’t shake the feeling something seriously bad was about to happen.

“I’ve discovered a way to cause and infinite time loop, putting anyone I cast it on into an endless loop in which they cannot escape from until I let them. But considering that time magic is very exhausting and very limited to use, I’ve transferred that same loop spell onto all these scrolls you see here.” Twilight said to Spike as she gave the current scroll she had a quick look over before she was fully happy with it.

“You still haven’t answer my question, Twilight. How are you going to test my durability?” Spike asked wondering why she was explaining everything to him.

“I’m not done yet!” She snapped, not happy being cut off. “Anyhow, a special property of these spells is that once cast, anyone outside the spell I cast on myself will lose their memory of the time that elapsed.”

“Ohhh… What?” Spike asked, not really sure what she was saying anymore.

“Ugh, I get straight to the point then. Spike. I’m… going to kill you.”

The young dragon’s heart sank and his jaw nearly hit the floor out of shock at her words.

“Once you die, I’ll activate a scroll that will rewind time back a few minutes and undo what was done. Any damage that was done to you will be reversed but the knowledge of what happened will stay.” Twilight turned her eyes toward her side table and grabbed a pair of razor sharp scissors with her magic before floating them in front of Spike’s eyes.

“Twi-twilight?” Spike stammered out as he slowly backed away from her.

“Now considering the mental trauma will most likely drive you insane, I’ve combined a memory wiping spell with the time reversal to make sure my number one assistant doesn’t start to hate me. I will perform this experiment a fair amount of times before I feel like I have enough notes… Ah, you stay here,” Twilight stopped her explanation as she saw Spike making a run for the door. Dropping her spell, she grabbed a hold of him, and dragged him closer to her.

“Don’t worry, Spike. Just because I’m going to kill you over and over again while you simply don’t remember it, doesn’t mean I hate you or anything, it’s just research notes that Celestia could use,” Twilight told him, giving Spike the most sincere look of concern she could.

“B-B-but you’re going to kill me you said!” Spike stammered out, unsure if it was some cruel joke she was playing or if she really meant it.

“You won’t feel a thing. Sure the moment I decide to kill you with whatever I think of will be painful, once the spell is cast it will be like nothing happened to you. By the time I’m finished my experiment, it will play out as me calling you up to my room and getting a bucket of gems for being my favorite assistant.” Twilight said as she opened the scissors and floated them right to Spike’s throat.

“T-twilight, this isn’t right!!” Spike screamed in her face.

“Oh stop worrying, besides I’m the one who’s going to remember all of this torturing while you don’t. I’m not happy about it but limits have to be pushed in the name of research,” Twilight told him calmly before she pressed the scissors to his throat and slashed it.

Spike made an attempt to speak but the only thing that happened was gurgling and blood coming up his throat and gushing out onto the floor and the alicorn who just delivered the blow. Twilight dropped the spell she was using to hold Spike up and the young dragon fell to the floor before grabbing his throat in a vain effort to stop the bleeding. His actions failed and as he looked up with complete shock at Twilight his vision went dark and he collapsed on the floor. For a few brief seconds, Twilight shuddered as a pool of blood started to form under her former assistant and her stomach nearly let go of the daisy sandwich she had for lunch. Turning to her study desk, she grabbed a blank scroll along with a feather pen dabbed in ink before she took a deep breath and started to write.

Death experiment Number 1- scissors to throat. Blade was applied directly to major artery in neck and death was almost instantaneous. While dragon skin is usually durable, there are several weak spot across the body that can be cut and fatally wound a dragon. Next item to test will be whatever I can conjure up. Side note: All manners of death will range from fast and instant, to crude and slow depending on what is used.

Twilight looked over her note and knew very well that she was going to keep it short and simple. Holding close to her body and making sure the time spell would affect it along with her, Twilight focused her attention on the scroll on the ground.

“This is going to be a very interesting learning experience,” Twilight said as she lifted her hoof and slammed it down, activating the spell. “Time reset!”

magical suffocation

The spell took effect and Twilight watched as the scroll burned to nothing. She could feel time rewinding itself slowly and watched from the inside of her protective aura as the events played in motion. Spike got up, the wound closed as the scissors came back over his throat and Twilight watched his facial reactions turn from sheer horror to the everyday slightly retarded look he gave her. As Spike started walking backwards from the door, the spell ended itself.

“Yeah, Twilight?” the young dragon replied as he walked towards her but suddenly stopped and looked on with confusion. “Wha, that’s weird, why do I feel like I’ve been here before…?”

Twilight looked on at her assistant and quickly noticed that he started to rub his throat.

“Hmmm… even with the memory wipe spell, his body seems to remember the events.” Twilight thought to herself as she made a big mental note in her mind.

“You’ll feel that a lot actually today, Spike,” Twilight said to him as she quickly thought of her next way to kill the young dragon. Now, let’s see how long it takes you to die, via magic suffocation.”

“Wait, what!?” Spike shouted unsure of why she made such a silly comment.

Before he could react, Twilight lit up her horn and a ring of magic started to form around Spike’s neck. Spike made an effort to run but not wanting to deal with a running target, Twilight pulled him into the air just enough that only his toes could scratch against the ground.

“T-Twilight… I can’t… breathe,” the young dragon replied as the magical grip tightened around his neck, making it very hard for him to breath.

“Ah, forgot the stop watch,” Twilight replied casually as she dropped the spell and quickly conjured up a watch.

Spike hit the ground and stared at the floor with wide and fearful eyes. A million questions flooded his mind to why he was about to get murdered but before he could say or do anything, the sound of a watch clicking played out before he was pulled back into the air.

“”Twi… did I… do s-something wrong?” Spike stammered out as the hold got tighter and he started to lose his ability to speak.

Twilight said nothing, her eyes focused on the numbers ticking up. She didn’t want to see her assistant suffer but she knew very well she would make so many incredible notes that researchers have craved for thousands of years. Away from her vision, Spike flailed around in the air like a fish out of water; his vision was growing dark and his mouth was opening and closing in a vain attempt to beg for release. The magic aura never got tighter, considering anything with more pressure would crush his throat and kill him instantly, but for Spike the feeling of his throat being squeezed only seemed to get worse and worse until his vision grew so dark he passed out and went limp in the air.

“One minute and thirteen point seven seconds,” Twilight said as she looked at the corner of her eye and saw his body stop moving. “Interesting, I was expecting a bit longer but I guess I made his heart rate jump too quickly when I first released the spell. Better take a note.”

Twilight dropped Spike’s dead body to the floor and hovered up the small paper she scribbled on prior. Thanks to it being held by her magic when she activated the spell, the words stayed on the page. She smiled that her experiment was working but grew a bit worried to hearing Spike say what he said after the spell stopped.

Death experiment number 2- death by magical suffocation. Subject succumbed to his fate in just over a minute of time. Exactly one minute and thirteen point seven seconds to be precise. I did not wish to watch him struggle considering I almost felt sick from slitting his throat in the prior experiment. I did, however hear him beg and struggle for release as he flailed around in the air, thus making the experiment more mind numbing on my end. After all is said and done, I`ll send Celestia this notes and debate whether or not I should make up a scroll to erase my memory of these events..

The feather pen came down and Twilight brought the note close to her body before she grabbed another time scroll and opened it up. As she was about to slam her hoof down, Twilight gave the dead body a final look.

“I don’t know why but the thought of telling him I cared like a mother while he choked, dawned on me at one point. Wonder what caused such a disturbing thought… oh well, time reset!”

book beatdown

The events re-winded and Spike stood in front of Twilight.

“Oh man why does my throat hurt suddenly?” Spike remarked as he suddenly found himself short on breath.

“No reason, Spike,” Twilight said as she looked to her left and found the next object of death. “Now lets see how long it takes you to die from getting beat with a book.”

“Huh? What did you…”

Whack!

The large purple book held by Twilight’s magic, slammed across Spike’s head, sending the young dragon tumbling to the floor. His vision dazed and an intense throbbing pain greeted him. Before he could even utter a word, Twilight struck again, sending him in a face down position in the floor.

Whack!

The book hit him again in the same spot as he tried to pull himself up and he fell back to the floor. The blunt force trauma his face hitting the floor caused his nose to start bleeding. He tried to cover up his head and screamed for Twilight to stop, but Twilight would roll his body over and hit and unshielded parts on his face.

The beatdown continued for several minutes and Spike begged and begged for his friend to stop hitting him with a book. Eventually his left eyes swelled up from being hit enough and a few teeth were scattered on the floor.

“Sweet, Celestia, maybe this wasn’t a good idea,” Twilight remarked, continuously hitting Spike in the head as she started to grow more tired and weary. “I’ve hit you… fifty seven times already! How long will this take!?”

Spike couldn’t do anything. He made several attempts to crawl away but once he got far enough, Twilight would pull him back and continue to hit him. Pages fluttered out of the book, showing that, it to, was starting to show the effects of prolonged use and as Twilight was about to call it quits, Spike’s body finally stopped moving. Dropping the book and breathing heavily, Twilight inspected the scene. Spike was on his back, his face more bloody and beaten then she anticipated and part of his skull looked like it caved in at one point, making his death come to him faster. She saw his leg twitch continuously and saw blood flowing out of his mouth showing he may or may not have a tooth fall back and get struck in his throat, thus causing it to shred the delicate parts inside of him. Once she had caught her breath, Twilight brought up her notes and very shakily started to write.

Death experiment number 3. Book beatdown. Victim succumbed after eighty four blows to the head with the book entitled, “Fifty Shades of Rainbows” The process was long, exhausting and MUCH more mental traumatizing then previous experiments. I may or may not try this same experiment again but with a much more heavy object like a piece of wood or even a metal bar of some kind. I should also rewrite these notes later on, giving them better prose and understanding, before I send them to Celestia, hence avoiding any grammatical findings on her end.

Twilight brought the note close to her body and looked back at the smeared, bloody, corpse of her friend. His leg stopped twitching yet as Twilight looked on she couldn’t help but find the experience somewhat refreshing to do.

“Damn,” Twilight said with a deep sigh. “I’ve always wondered what it would feel like to beat someone to death with a book. It felt… oddly therapeutic and very… Oh gosh I before not tell Celestia about the mental effects this has on me, or I may get reformed by herself in the future.”

Twilight stopped talking to herself and gave the bloody book one last look before she grabbed a scroll and unfolded it.

“Wonder if I’ll… start to enjoy these tests more then I should… ahem, time reset!”

bleach test

Time slowly reset and Twilight watched Spike’s torment play backwards. Part of her was happy that she was making interesting discoveries on death, yet the other part of her was sad she was secretly taking out her frustrations on her loyal friend.

“Don’t feel bad, Twilight. He doesn’t remember anything and after you’re done, you’ll wipe your own mind and be done with this,” Twilight said to herself as she thought up the next way to kill him.

The spell ended and Twilight conjured up her next item.

“Wha, my head hurts. A-anyway what do you need from me, Twilight?” Spike asked as he noticed a large white, blank container floating beside his friends head.

“Here, drink this,” Twilight ordered as she pushed the container to him and popped off the child proof lid, considering she knew he couldn’t do it himself. “Also hold your nose before you do that so the odd taste doesn’t get to you.”

Spike looked at the bottle still feeling a bit dazed from something he wasn’t sure off. Doing as he was asked, Spike put the bottle to his lips and took a large gulp before he flew the bottle down and started to cough wildly.

“T-twilight… what did you… just give me!?” Spike said as he hacked and coughed, doing his best to get rid of the taste in his mouth.

“Interesting. A dragon’s stomach can break down diamonds and gems but the poisonous effects of bleach can do damage,” Twilight said as she picked up the bottle with magic, making sure none of the bleach would spill out onto the floor.

Pushing the bottle forward, Twilight forced Spike’s mouth open and put the tip of it inside of Spike’s mouth and fed him the liquid. The young dragon squirmed and moaned for release as he felt his insides started to regret the abusive compound of liquid. Though the bleach couldn’t eat away at his system alone, the bleach did combine with his strong stomach acid and quickly started to eat away at his stomach lining. As a small part ruptured inside of him, Spike’s internal organs got bathed in super strong liquid and quickly ate away at it. Though Twilight couldn’t see the effects on his insides, she knew he was in a serious amount of pain.

Noticing the bottle was empty, yet Spike was starting to throw up into it, Twilight pulled it away and let it fall to the floor before he saw his mouth letting white fumes exit it.

“Twi…ht h….ppp,” Spike begged for help as the acid started to come up his throat and spill out onto the floor in a mix of dark liquid and blood.

“Ugh, what a foul smell that is,” Twilight remarked as the fumes coming from his bodily liquids made her extremely nauseous and woozy. “I need a gas mask,”

Just before the liquid started to eat away at Spike’s eyes, he watched Twilight conjure up a gas mask and pull it over her face. Just before he fully died, he felt his intestines get eaten away before it all came out as chunky liquid out of his ass.

“Ughhhh, what a horrible way to die,” Twilight said softly as her voice echoed in the mask.

Eventually his body stopped expunging liquid and slowly started to eat away at the scales on his body. As she watched the event unfold she quickly grabbed her note and started to scribble stuff down.

Death experiment number 4. Bleach test (or commonly known as the number one way for suicidal ponies to off themselves) Victim suffered a rather painful death in where the liquid seemed to combine with his strong stomach acid and slowly eat away at his insides…

Twilight stopped as she noticed at the corner of her eyes that the floor was starting to decay and his body was sinking into the earth. The once dark black liquid that came from his body started to turn into a bubbly green mixture and his scales started to rapidly melt away.

“Fascinating, it only seems to get more potent and strong when exposed to air,” Twilight said as she scribbled those thoughts onto her note. "I wonder how his body will react when I reverse everything."

Death came to the victim in under a minute but it was no doubt the longest minute of his short life. As I write this note, his body is no longer visible and the dark green liquid has eaten a large hole into the earth. No doubt it will continue to eat away until it reaches the core of the planet or it simply withers away into nothing.

Putting the note down, Twilight grabbed another scroll and noticed a sparkly red ruby show from under it. As she looked at it, she knew it would eventually find its way to Spike and he would finally rest like nothing ever happened.

“Bear with me, Spike this will be over before you know it,” Twilight said to herself as she held her breath and discarded the mask before hitting the spell. “Time reset!”

anal impalement

Twilight once again watched time undo itself. The hole started to reform itself and Spike’s body slowly turned from a puddle, to a bloody mess, and then back to his regular old self. Though he kept returning to normal, Twilight wasn’t sure to why his body seemed to remember parts of the testing. She started to think on why his body was doing what it was, but stopped her thought process when the spell ended.

“Oh man, why does my stomach feel so upset?” Spike said as he let out a belch and the smell of bleach seemed to linger in the air.

“You’re fine… I think,” Twilight said, noticing her assistant was looking more and more ill after each test. “Don’t worry, I’ll make this next one fast so you don’t suffer as much,”

“What are you–“

Before Spike could finish his words, Twilight’s horned flared up and a large spike of earth shoot up from the floorboards and impaled Spike through his ass. It easily tore through his body before coming out of his mouth and causing Twilight’s eye to twitch slightly.  For a second he let out a scream of pain, but the sound of bones breaking and skin tearing seemed to drown it out. Though Spike felt a shear amount of pain as his unprotected sphincter got violated suddenly, he died as the spike hit his heart and punctured it.

“Thought as much,” Twilight said as she got up and circled around his body and looked at the point of entry. “With no scales protecting your rear, the sudden anal impalement easily cut through you. From the point of entry it most likely tore through your intestines, ripped through your fire breathing gland, shredded your stomach causing the acid inside to seep through your body, hit a lung, and then finally hit your heart. Even if it missed your heart, I predict you would have died not long after. Hmm, I wonder what would happen if I stuck something inside your butt and slowly expanded it… that will be a different test though.”

Grabbing her notes and pen, Twilight began to scribble stuff down.

Death experiment number 5. Anal impalement. Death was quick and instantaneous thanks to the spike puncturing his heart. No doubt that this will most likely be the only sexual thing he’ll ever feel…

Twilight stopped herself and gave her head a shake, wondering where that little insult came from. Steadying her weakening mind, she crossed out the sentence and started a new one.

No doubt that the victim would have died a few seconds after his fire gland and stomach were punctured. The combined effects of the two, along with bleach, have the ability to even eat through dragon scales. This finding will no doubt be a useful weapon should Equestria ever fall to war.

Twilight stopped writing as she heard a sizzling sound play out. Looking towards the sound, she noticed his inner fluids starting to pour out of his ass and onto the floor below. Though disgusted, Twilight made a mental note that the acid ate into the floor much slower without the aid of bleach. Looking away Twilight scribbled down the extra info before she grabbed another scroll and got ready to reverse time.

“I am going to have such a hard time sleeping with all these mental images plaguing my mind. Maybe I should ask Luna if there is a way to suppress dreams for a short while. Should make sure to send her a letter later on. Time reset!”

Pop goes the balloon!

“Maybe a dozen or so tests and then I’ll take a break for the day,” Twilight said with a soft sigh as she rubbed her forehead to try and snuff out the images that were stuck in her mind.

“Twilight?” Spike asked her as the spell ended and once again Spike stood alive and… mostly well in front of her. “You look a bit under the weather you ok?”

Twilight said nothing an only stared at her assistant, inspecting his body for signs of any abuse. There was none, yet after each test he could either hold an area from the previous or complain about it. Though he did that, he never brought up any of the previous testing pain.

“Spike, does your butt feel a bit sore?” Twilight asked making sure to confirm her little theory.

“Uhhh, yeah… a bit, why?” Spike said after he took a second to let her words hit him.

“Figured. Could you open your mouth and breathe heavy for me?” Twilight asked as she got closer to him.

Spike did so, and though he started to feel very sore all over, he opened his mouth and breathed.

“Hmm, not the best breath but I don’t smell any bleach at least,” Twilight said with a sign as she started to realize each test she did was neutralizing the previous one.

“Uh, Twi, no offense but no one in their right mind would drink bleach,” Spike said with a chuckle as he pulled away.

“I know, but I need to stop wasting time considering the spell only allows for small intervals,” Twilight’s words died down and failed to reach the young dragon’s ears. “Spike, go down stairs and get me a watermelon!”

“Oh! You hungry? Sure I’ll be right back,” Spike replied as he turned for the door and started to limp run towards it. “Oh man, why does body hurt so much?”

Twilight said nothing and looked to her dwindling pile of scrolls.

“I wish these scrolls had a bit more power to them. I can only go back three minutes at the most. I may have to start using two scrolls every test just to make sure I arrive before the time I kill him,” Twilight said to herself as she got herself ready to try a spell. “Ugh, that means I’ll have less scrolls to use in the long run! Spike! Hurry up!”

Thankfully Spike didn’t take long and scampering back up the stairs with a watermelon in hand, Spike gave her his friend a soft yet confused smile.

“Good, now sit down and open your mouth,” Twilight said as she grabbed the melon with her magic and crushed it in order to get at the seeds inside.

“Ughh, why?” Spike answered a bit worried.

Twilight said nothing and gave him a cold glare before wrapping one seed in magic and shooting it down his throat.

“Urk! Twilight what was that for?” Spike asked almost choking on the seed.

“This,” Twilight replied as her horn grew brighter with magic. “Hope it doesn’t hit your stomach acid.”

“What are you,”

Spike stopped himself as he felt a rumble in his gut and felt something starting to grow inside of him.

“H-hey, Twi? Are you making the seed grow?” Spike asked in a worried tone as he placed his hands to his stomach and throat.

“I’m seeing how much pressure your body can withstand,” Twilight said as she indeed made the seed grow in age. “Once your body explodes from pressure I’ll move onto another test.”

“Wait! What are you doing!? Why are you trying to make me explode!? Why are you going to kill me!?” Spike said as he got up and tried to burp the seed out before it got too big.

“Can you not whine? This makes testing much more harder for me,” Twilight said, continuously pouring magic into her spell.

“But you’re going to kill me!” Spike screamed as he felt his stomach starting to expand, making him feel very bloated.

Twilight ignored her whiny assistant the best she could as she quickly made the watermelon seed big enough to make him inflate like a balloon, Though the stomach acid would start to eat away at it quickly, Twilight put a surge of magic into her and Spike’s body quickly turned into the size of one of Pinkie’s clones from when she used the mirror pool.

“Tw… hur… me,” Spike spoke from his bloated as he felt his stomach tear and the watermelon started to crush every vital organ in his body. First his stomach bursted causing the sensation of deja view for Spike as he felt his insides starting to get eaten. While that happened the melon continued to grow, crushing his lungs, and causing his spine to start shifting uncomfortably thanks to the way it was growing. He felt bones snap in his body and once his spine snapped, Spike lost all feeling below his neck. In a way it was a boon, considering the next few seconds his intestines started to feel the effects of the stomach acid or simply started to come out of his ass like a tube of frosting. For a few brief seconds, his body just rolled on the spot, until Twilight put another surge of energy into him and his body gave out by exploding and caking the room in blood, guts, gore, and even chunks of watermelon.

“Damn,” Twilight said as she blinked and wiped the blood and guts away on her face before looking around at the horrific scene. “For a little guy, he sure had a lot of guts,”

Twilight accidentally humored herself and a soft chuckle left her throat before she caught it and stopped.

“Even with my memory wiped, I feel like a should ask mom if she can sign me up with her therapist in Canterlot,” Twilight said very hastily as her eye and mouth twitched.

She gave the room one last look and the only thing that happened differently was a chuck of intestine fell from the ceiling and landed with a wet smack on the floor.

“Eeyup, therapy will be needed,” Twilight said as she grabbed her notes and began to write.

Death experiment number 6…

Twilight thought for a second before another amusing thought hit her decaying mind.

Pop goes the balloon! Victim’s death was most likely a very painful one as his body slowly expanded and the sound of his bones cracking echoed in my ears. From the amount of magic I injected into my spell, I actually exhausted part of myself more than I thought I would have. Even with the increase in magic in my system, high level elite spells like age pro… reg… age growth are still exhausting to do. In short inflating a watermelon seed in a dragon isn’t the best way to try and kill it. Sure the victim will feel a world of pain, but the spell usage and time to cast it will not make it a good weapon for war. Strange, when Trixie used the spell it was almost instant but when I used it, it took time.

“hmm, well considering her magic was being powered up by dark magic In the amulet…” Twilight said as she pondered a thought. “It will be something to think about.”

Twilight folded the note and grabbed a scroll before hitting it quickly.

“Time reset!”

Neck snap

“Wah! Twilight! Why are you covered in blood!?” Spike screamed as the spell ended.

Twilight stopped herself and looked at her fur, noticing the previous test left her more bloody then Trixie attempting to juggle knives blindfolded.

“Well this is interesting,” Twilight replied rather casually as she looked over her body. “Seems every time you die, you regenerate everything even if it’s inside my safe zone.”

“Wait, what do you mean when I die?” Spike said as he held his stomach and felt a hint of pain in it.

“No, that can’t be right. Your body must be returning to normal without the stuff in my safe zone. I wonder…” Twilight said, ignoring her assistants whiny voice as she conjured up a bucket of water and poured it over herself.

Spike watched the blood on the alicorn wash off her body and fall to the floor, going anyway it could. Part of him felt horrified that Twilight wasn’t flipping out over the fact that she was covered in blood, and even more so worried that she was implying it was his.

“Now, when I kill you again, every part of you should regenerate. I’ll make this death quick in order to see if I’m right,” Twilight told him as she lit up her horn and got ready to use a spell.

“Twilight, what ar-“

SNAP!

Focusing her magic on his neck, Twilight twisted it with enough force that it almost made his head spin fully around. The second the deathblow was made, Spike’s legs buckled and he crumbled to the floor like a sack of dead baby diamond dogs. Taking her magic off his body, Twilight stared and her eye started to twitch before she spoke up.

“Hey look. Seems I have two owl assistants now,” Twilight said as a creepy smile hit her smile. “Who, who, hehe… oh gosh w-why am I enjoying more then I should!?”

Snapping herself back to reality, Twilight shook her head and looked away from his dead body before grabbing another scroll.

“Don’t worry, Twilight. Once you got enough notes, you’ll wipe your own memory and be done for the day. Just… stay calm and try to not enjoy killing your assistant. Sure it’s fun in a twisted way but… no, y-you’re not enjoying his endless deaths; you’re enjoying your pursuit in knowledge! Yeah, that’s why you love this. You’ve always loved finding out new things… ahem, now let’s see if all your blood and guts return to your body as well.” Twilight told herself as she quickly remembered to take a note down.

Death experiment 7- Neck snap. Self-explanatory death. Victim died of Injury to the upper cervical spinal cord and such led to the loss of respiration and eventually death. It’s crude, fast, and rather an effective killing technique, but highly unlikely a unicorn will have enough magical force to snap the neck of a full grown dragon. As immoral as it sounds, you’re better off snapping the necks of baby dragons until you attempt to fry a bigger fish.

“Ok, time reset!”

praise the sun!

Twilight watched with eager and slightly frantic eyes as the blood and guts she washed away as the time spell worked itself. Thankfully as Spike’s neck twisted back into place, the gorish insides moved towards the purple lizard and entered through his mouth and most likely took its place back inside of his body.

“That was close,” Twilight said with a deep sigh. “I thought for sure the time spell would have regretted his guts since I always used a scroll. Thankfully this means I can kill without worry and maybe even shift some deaths outside if I wanted to experiment in fall damage and maybe even…”

Twilight stopped as a crude smile showed up on her face and her eye twitched.

“Oooh, I wonder if his body can withstand getting run over by a train!!”

Twilight quickly calmed herself down and gave her head a violent shake as the spell ended.

“Yeah what you need, Twilight?” Spike asked her as he gave his neck a rub, feeling a big kink in it.

As Twilight stared at him, the sudden thought of asking him if he liked trains popped into her but having the sudden fear of a train barreling through the house stopped her in her tracks. Instead she thought of something else and decided to ask him for a piece of advice.

“Spike, remember you went on your little quest a while back?” Twilight asked, the thought of magma on her mind.

“You mean the one where you followed me into the badlands?” Spike answered with an annoyed huff as he continued to rub his neck.

“Yeah, that one. When you were swimming in lava… do you know how hot it exactly was?”

“I don’t know. As far as I’ve seen in books, it’s always seven-hundred to one thousand-two hundred degrees,” Spike answered back as he remembered reading up on molten lava when he got back from his trip.

“Hmm, so just shy of thirteen hundred degrees Fahrenheit to just under twenty two hundred…” Twilight said as she made a quick calculation in her mind. “Alright, I have my next experiment in mind!”

“What experiment?” Spike asked as he noticed Twilight’s horn light up.

“Simple! We are going to find out how much heat your body can withstand!” Twilight answered with giddiness in her voice as a small sphere appeared around Spike’s body.

“H-hey! What are you doing?” Spike asked frantically as he tried to leave the bubble but found it was no use.

Twilight didn’t hear his words, the bubble cutting off any and all sound from entering and exiting. Hearing him plea over and over again kept making her feel like a monster and she decided to block to the noise.

“Alright, I’ll make the air in the bubble hot enough to match the highest heat of lava,” Twilight said quietly, remembering the number Spike just told her. “Better grab a thermostat as well,”

Twilight did as so, also conjuring up a metal temperature gauge and putting it next to the bubble. Turning the small digital device on, the gauge showed her the current room temp. Once she was sure it was working, she pulled the thermostat away and began to raise the heat in the bubble.

Thankfully it didn’t take Twilight long to raise the heat up to magma temperatures and though Spike sat down and hoped Twilight would let him out, he began to feel the heat setting in. The intense heat made his eyes burn with irrational and he closed them quickly so his eye lids could block out the heat.

“Fourteen hundred…” Twilight muttered as she continued to pour magic into her spell.

Spike wasn’t feeling much different, the heat was almost relaxing enough that it reminded him of a volcano.

“Twenty hundred…”

Slowly Spike started to feel it getting too warm for his liking. Though he wasn’t totally uncomfortable, he was starting to have a hard time breathing.

“Twilight, it’s getting hard to breath in here,” Spike said to her, in hopes she would hear him.

“Twenty five…”

Now Spike was starting to get irritated with the increasing heat. The tips of his fingers and toes started to tingle while his mouth became very dry and flaky. Though he wanted to look and see if Twilight was stopping the spell, Spike knew if he opened his eyes, the heat would start to melt his eyes.

“Twilight! Let me out!”

“Thirty…”

Spike could barely breathe and with his last breathful breath, Spike held in his air and banged wildly on the bubble. The feeling of the increased temp caused the unscaled parts of his body to burn with intense pain.

“Forty…”

Spike’s body was starting to lose to the heat. Parts of his body started to get severely burned, causing him tremendous amounts of pain while he lost feeling in his arms and legs.

“Forty three…”

Spike’s held breath finally ended and he opened his mouth out of desperation for more air. Sadly once he breathed, the air burned his throat and made it impossible for him to breath.

“Forty five…”

Spike flailed weakly and he tried to scream for release. Not able to keep his eyes closed, Spike opened them and they were immediately seared into his eye sockets, before becoming blind.

“Forty seven…”

At that point Spike’s body shut down and he died as his lungs got burned to a crisp and his heart stopped beating. Though he was gone, Twilight kept going just to see what the melting point of his scales were.

“Fifty three…”

Whatever was left of Spike’s corpse started to melt and Twilight stopped as she looked at the gauge one last time.

“Fifty five hundred. Amazing. If a baby can withstand that much heat then imagine what a full grown dragon with one thousand years of life can survive,” Twilight said as she shifted her spell and started to drop the heat rapidly, until his returns cooled down into a sphere of rock. Once it was cooled enough, Twilight dropped the sphere spell, letting the ball of rock hit the floor with a heavy thud.

“Whew, actually not hearing his voice helped a lot,” Twilight said, finding that death not really as heart breaking as the rest. “Better take a note and began anew!”

Death experiment 8…

Twilight pondered but quickly thought of something witty.

Praise the sun! The victim succumbed to his fact in a small sun like sphere of intense heat reaching 5500F. Though his life was snuffed at an earlier temperature, it is now proven that baby dragon scales melt. Victim’s body most likely expired around the 4500F mark, but considering he couldn’t keep his stupid eyes and big mouth shut, he could have lasted a couple hundred more.

Twilight stopped writing and looked back to the black ball in front of her before her eyes locked onto the trash can near her wall. Smiling, Twilight lit up her horn and wrapped the ball around in magic before tossing it at the can. Though her aim was on the mark, the ball hit the bottom of the can before it causes the floor boards to splinter and break apart.

“HA! Guess a nerd like me can play sports after all!” Twilight shouted with an insane smile on her face. "Guess watching Shining’s hoof ball practices played off afterall.”

Grabbing a scroll, Twilight hit it.

“Time reset!”

flash freeze

“Alright, I have about a dozen scrolls left,” Twilight said she started to turn her head towards the pile. “I should… wha? My pile isn’t going down?”

Looking at her pile of time scrolls, Twilight noticed it was the exact same as when she first started. Though a bit confused, she quickly remembered anything outside her safety zone would come back.

“Haha! I… I can keep doing this as long as I want!” Twilight said with glee. “How I missed this part in my review beforehand surprises even me! Hey… I wonder if dragon scales keep their strength even when frozen solid…”

“Hey, Twilight wh-“

Twilight didn’t let Spike finish and quickly conjured up the same sphere as before.

“I’ll freeze him and check to see how much strength it takes to break his body!” she said as he looked back at her confused assistant and began to use a spell to freeze his body.

Unlike her previous experiment where she made his death slow, Twilight was so eager to hit him with a blunt object, she used a flash freeze spell and turned him into a frozen statue. As the spell finished, the only expression on his face was a twisted frown that let did just before the spell took its full effect.

“Alright, now the fun part of picking a toy to use,” Twilight said as she began to think long and hard. “Sledge hammer? Nah, too manly. Hey maybe I’ll use a baseball bat!”

Quickly conjuring up one, Twilight smiled as the solid wooden bat appeared before her eyes. Looking at it more, her body shuddered as she oogled its impressive length and the smoothness of it. At first she wanted to use her magic and swing it, but wanting to feel the large wooden on her hooves, she reached up, grabbed it, and slowly stroked its godly length.

“Oh baby, you can please me any day,” Twilight said to it as she rose to her hind legs and held the bat steadily in her grasp.

As she dropped the sphere spell, Twilight got ready to swing for his head until she stopped and noticed his legs were spread.

“Well I might as well aim for a ball or two,” Twilight remarked as she lit up her horn and lifted his body up so his rear would face her. “Shame they are so small.”

Taking a deep breath, Twilight pulled back and then quickly swung it forward, letting it connect with his ass before the sound of glass shattering played in her ears. As his body broken into millions of pieces, Twilight smiled knowing she froze his body so well that even his blood and the acid in his fire gland were pure ice.

“Hey, I actually broke him in the first try!” Twilight said to herself, rather surprised his solid body broke. “Heh, seems I’m not as physically weak as I thought. Anyway, might as well take a note.”

Death experiment 9- Flash freeze. Victims body was turned into a frozen statue and hit with a baseball bat. Even with an alicorn like myself who has limited physical capabilities, I was able to successfully shatter his body into a million pieces with a single swing.

Twilight looked up and smiled at the shards of frozen flesh and scales littering her room before she frowned at her decaying attitude.

“I-I shouldn’t be having fun doing this. I’m just enjoying pursuing research, not the deaths of my usele- number one assistant,” Twilight said to herself before she looked back at her baseball bat. “Hmm, wonder if a steel bat would be more effective.”

Dropping the bat, Twilight grabbed a scroll and hit it.

“Time reset!”

the parasprite

As the spell ended and Spike was his old self, his legs buckled and he placed his hands over his privates before he feel to the ground.

“You ok?” Twilight asked, smiling at his pain.

“Owwwww, why does my…” Spike said in a painful groan as he pulled his hands away before putting back on.

“Simple. I used a baseball bat,” Twilight replied eagerly as she conjured up a bat for him to see.

“Wait, when did… you hit me?” Spike said to her, unsure of how he never noticed a bat or even remembered being hit by one.

“Not important,” Twilight replied as she swung the bat in the air for a few seconds before making it disappear. “What’s important is the question I am about to ask you. Do you remember when we had that parasprite invasion?”

“You… mean the one where Pinkie ended up saving and you pretty much destroyed the town when you altered their eating habits?” Spike replied as he forced himself to stand up.

“Hey! At least I did something you useless dragon!” Twilight snapped at him.

“Did… you just call me useless?” Spike replied his little heart nearly broken by the backlash he got.

“Sorry,” Twilight replied in a faux manner. “Anyhow lets see if a parasprite’s eating habits can be altered to eat baby dragons.”

“Wait, why!?”

Twilight didn’t answer and quickly thought up the summoning spell for a parasprite. A flare of her horn along with a twinkle in the air and a little blue parasprite appeared. The little parasprite looked around curiously as it hummed to itself and quickly noticed the lavender mare. Flying to her, it nuzzled her cheek with affection before looking around for some food to eat.

“You know, I wonder if I could keep one of these things as a pet and try to see if I can make it life without it eating everything in sight,” Twilight said quietly as she flared up her horn for the next part of her spell.

Once she had the spell in place, she launched it at the blue bug and changes its eyes from yellow to a deep red. With its new craving, the parasprite looked to the baby young near it and flashed a toothy grin.

“Spike, I don’t think this particular parasprite is fond of you,” Twilight said with a chuckle as she watched the little guy fly at him.

Fearing for his life, Spike shot out a breath of fire, hoping to roast the bug, but he missed completely when the parasprite dodged the flame and when right for his throat. Spike couldn’t react in time and as the flesh ripping teeth tore a strip out of him, he reeled back in pain and tried to scream. His cries only came out as gurgled noises before the parasprite finished chewing what he had in his mouth, before latching onto the leg and biting it clean off.

“Amazing. When given the right appetite, a parasprite can even chew through dragon scales,” Twilight said astounded by the strength the little bug showed.

Short a leg, Spike desperately pulled his body away, doing his best to not choke on his own blood. Sadly the blood loss was too much for him and the last thing he saw was a row of sharp teeth accompanied with a blackless void. The parasprite bit his face off, along with a piece of a small brain. As the parasprite continued to feast, Twilight got her letter and began to write.

Death experiment number 10- The parasprite. The parasprite can be a very deadly weapon and great use to unicorns who can alter its eating habits…

Twilight looked up and saw the parasprite eagerly chewing into the spinal scales, the hardest scales on the dragon body, and eating them with ease.

The parasprite has the ability to chew through anything and everything and made a meal out of the victim in mere seconds. One should also be quick in disposing of the bug right after in case it quickly breeds itself.

Done with the note, Twilight heard the sound of a burp and knew her little friend was starting to reproduce. Though she wrote down to dispose of them, the little parasprites flew towards her and attempted to snuggle into her mane.

“Sorry little guys,” Twilight said as she grabbed them with magic and made them disappear. “I can’t keep you.”

Grabbing a scroll, Twilight gave the chewed up remains that the parasprite left behind a smile.

“Part of me wants to watch that again… no, I really shouldn’t… ok I am! Time reset!”

Twilight watched the scene play out a second time before she grabbed another scroll.

skinning

“So many ideas to test and an infinite amount of time to do it,” Twilight hummed to herself as time reversed around her. “Yet which one should I do next? I think skinning him alive should prove to be interesting.”

The second the spell ended, Twilight conjured a rope and tied it around Spike’s leg before pulling him into the air.

“Oww! Hey what are you doing to me?” Spike asked as he hung in the air, swinging gently.

“Research,” Twilight replied as she tied the loose end of the rope to a beam in the ceiling. “Just finding out ways on how to kill a dragon.”

Spike began to reply but knowing very well the next test would leave him screaming like a baby, Twilight flared her horn and focused her magic on his throat and silenced his voice box. Opening his mouth constantly, Spike tried to ask her why she was saying such a mean thing but he stopped when he realized his voice was gone.

“It’s better when I can’t hear you scream,” Twilight told him as she conjured two pieces of rope with heavy weights on them and tied the loose end to his wrists. “I fear if I didn’t shut you up I would go deaf.”

Spike tried his best to resist her efforts, he attempted to wiggle his hands free of the rope and though he stopped her briefly, Twilight quickly took the hand and had his body in a stretched out fashion. With him unable to move lots, Twilight safely conjured up a razor sharp bowie knife.

“You know griffons that have no claws use large knives like this to hunt?” Twilight said to Spike while her eyes inspected the flawless blade.

Spike’s heart sank and he nearly wet himself as the blade hovered in front of him.

“Most knives range from five to eight inches of steel and are sharpened to the point that even touching the blade will cut you.”

Twilight moved the blade close to her body and used her magic to raise a few strands of hair. Bringing it down on the blade, it effortlessly cut through it, letting the bit of hair fall to the floor.

“Wonder if his can cut through a dragon scale.”

Walking around his body, Twilight focused on his back and thrusted the blade into it. As the tip hit, Spike felt a surge of pain in his spine but didn’t feel the blade pierce his armor.

“Hmm, let’s try a slash.”

Twilight brought the blade up and slashed it downward. Again the blade failed to break his armor but Spike flailed wildly worried she would aim for a weak spot in his armor.

“Hmm, if a sharp bowie knife can’t cut through your scales, then what good are the princesses royal guard weapons against a dragon!?” Twilight said with an annoyed huff as she brought up the blade to his neck. “Ah, almost forgot about armor weak points. I happen to know there is one on your neck.”

Twilight wedged her blade between a small opening on his neck and quickly pulled it back, giving Spike a large gash. Spike screamed voicelessly and his eyes quickly watered up from the pain.

“Ah, perfect. I can skin your hide and see just how thick your armor is.”

Twilight brought the blade back to the bloody cut pulled back on it before moving forward to see where the armor ended and the flesh started. Spike flailed and panicked and on impulse he breathed out a stream of fire that torched a fair amount of scrolls.

“Hey! Don’t burn those, dumby!” Twilight shouted as she grabbed one with her magic and moved it away from the small fire. “You toast all of those at once and I won’t be able to bring you back to life! You’re lucky those will regenerate after I use one.”

Spike shot out another stream of fire as the blade started to rip under his skin. Hitting the bed with his flames, Twlight’s favorite blanket got burnt to a crisp in a manner of seconds. Thought Twilight was annoyed she knew everything would return to normal and continued to saw upward and sever his skin from his body.

The merciless act of torture dragged on and on until cut enough of his back and left his skin dangling only by a few mere inches of flesh at his tail. Dropping the knife, Twilight gave off an exhausted sigh as she reached up and grabbed the skin before giving it a mighty tug. As the last bits of flesh and sinew ripped and tore away, Spike screamed so loud that the spell Twilight put on his throat broke and Twilight’s ears rang with the high pitched scream of a baby dragon.

“Luna’s teats you sure are a screamer,” Twilight said with an annoyed sigh as she dropped the hide and stared at the bloody backside of her assistant. “With a scream like yours I’m surprised you weren’t born a female.”

“Let me go! You’re not acting right! Someone help me!!” Spike screamed as he used lots of his adrenaline induced pain to scream for help.

“Please stop screaming,” Twilight said calmly as she put the spell back on his throat, only much more stronger.

Crying as he felt nothing but pain, Spike wondered what he did to warrant such a punishment from the only family he ever knew. He wanted to believe that the real Twilight got switched out with a changeling and was taking it’s revenge out on others. The thought died as Twilight began to skin more of his body.

“You know dragon armor is a big thing on the Equestrian black market,” Twilight said to herself as she tried to keep her sanity by talking to her dying assistant. “I bit I could sale this hide of yours for about fifty five thousand bits easy.”

Twilight stopped talking as she heard her assistant threw up.

“Really, Spike? A few cuts and you can’t keep down your lunch?” Twilight said as she pulled the knife away and straightened it out for one last stab. “Fine, I guess I should put you out of your misery.”

Spike’s death came quick as Twilight plunged the knife through his back made it exit out of the front of his chest. Thankfully for Spike, Twilight had aimed for his heart and his body stopped flailing the second it was pierced. Dropping her magic from the knife, she left it impaled and grabbed the thickest piece of armor she cut off.

“Looks like just under an inch thick,” Twilight noted. “If a baby had this much, then the full grown most have several inches, if not even feet, on his carapace.

Conjuring up a bucket of water, Twilight washed herself down to get rid of any blood in her safety zone. Once she was clean, she grabbed her note and began to write another entry.

Death experiment 11- Skinning- victim violently reacted to his pain by frying most of the stuff he could. Though he was able to somehow survive without his skin, he would have no doubt succumbed to his fate very soon, considering he was bleeding out…

Twilight looked away and saw a large pool of blood under his hanging body.

"It's a shame I didn't use salt on him before I finished him off. Oh well, maybe another time!"

One should also note the baby dragon skin is rather thick and that the thickest part was just under an inch thick. Even with the sharpest blade known in this part of the world, it wasn’t about to cut through the skin and I had to aim for a weak spot in his armor before I could sever flesh from muscle.

“Damn,” Twilight said with another sigh as her ears still rang from his screaming. “I know a few stallions that would love to have you in their bed.”

Looking away she grabbed a time scroll and hit it.

“Time reset!”

Shaken baby syndrome

“Twilight? Are you ok?” Spike asked as he noticed her eyes were diluted slightly and her mouth was in a twisted grin.

“I’m fine,” Twilight replied as calmly as possible. “I’m just enjoying my experiments.”

“What experiments are you doing?” Spike asked as his eyes looked to the pile of scrolls.

“Oh you know, experiments that involve my number one assistant,” Twilight replied as she lit up her horn. “Now for my next test.”

“Wah? Hey, what are you doing to me?” Spike shouted as he found his body taken hold of by magic and was slowly lifted in the air.

“Experimenting! Now considering you’re still a baby dragon, I wonder if shaken baby syndrome will work on you,” Twilight replied before she looked away with a puzzled look on her face.

“Wait, what did you just say?” Spike asked as he flailed about to break free.

“Shaken baby syndrome,” Twilight replied as she focused her magic on his shoulder and started to violently shake him. “Gotta see if you can die from it!”

“Ahhhh! T-Twilight!” Spike screamed, his voice bouncing back and forth as he body started to violently shake.

Twilight smiled and her grin got wider and she shook him so hard that his brain rattled around in his skull, getting very damaged as it bounced off the walls inside his head. Spike tried to speak but he became to dizzy and disoriented to say a proper word. Even if he could speak it wouldn’t have mattered considering Twilight was so focused on killing him, she blocked everything out. She stared with her crazed grin, smiling cheek to cheek while her jaw twitched slightly. Even with him being shaken violently, Spike saw her expression and tried to figure out what caused her to act crazy.

Soon the shaking cased Spike’s brain to rupture and for a few seconds he became brain dead until the snapping of his neck released him from the torment. Eventually she stopped but frown as she noticed his eyes were glazed over and a trinkle of blood was running down his nose, indicating internal trauma of some kind.

“Already? I know his brain was tiny but I was sure he could take a bit more abuse then that!” Twilight said in an annoyed tone as she dropped him like the dead baby he was, before noticing his neck was broken. “Stupid pencil neck of yours broke as well it seems… oh well, better take a note and go onto the next test!”

Just before she turned to her note, Twilight focused her magic on his head and pulled it up sharply. The sound of his neck cracking played on her ears but she ignored it as she looked at his face one last time.

“Hmm, a bit of blood flowing from his nose signals I may have ruptured his brain a bit. That or I knocked his brain so hard against his nose that I broke it. No, don’t be stupid, Twilight, you clearly ruptured his brain.”

Letting go of his head, Twilight watched as his face fell to the floor with a hard thud, before she grabbed her note and started to write.

Death experiment number 12- Shaken baby syndrome. Much like how baby ponies can die from this, it seemed it also extends out to dragons as well. Though it took a bit more energy than it would a normal baby, the victims brain looked like it was ruptured inside his skull, thus leading to his death.  Should also note that the victims neck snapped in the process.

Twilight stopped and looked at Spike one last time before putting the note down and grabbing a time scroll.

`You know… if felt good to shake him like that. Frustration for all the times he annoyed me.”

Twilight stopped and quickly grabbed his body one last time before she started to shake it again.

“This is for wetting the bed and not changing the sheets right away, causing the whole place to stink, you stupid dragon!” Twilight screamed at him, venting at him for a past grievance, before she tossed his body a few feet.

“Okay, calm down, Twilight,” Twilight told herself as she took a few deep breathes and opened the scroll. “You got that out your system, now focus back on experimenting. Time reset!”