Darkness.
Darkness seemed to envelope Josh from accounting's field of vision, as he tried his best to clear the fog that consumed what little sight he had. He tried blinking his tired eyes for a few minutes, but darkness was alone to greet him each timed he opened his eyes. He tried moving his head, but he soon found that his head, along with most of his body, had been restrained to some sort of cool, metal table.
Thinking back to the events of the past few days only seemed to give him a crippling headache. He could still remember sitting at his desk, with a cup of coffee in one hand and a phone in the other, but a harsh flash of light seemed to block out whatever happened in between then and now.
Maybe he had been kidnapped by a group of terrorists. Whatever had caused his capture was unknown to him, but whatever had happened to him would lead to nothing but pain.
"H-hello?" He called, hoping to get an answer from anybody he knew at the office, Hopefully this was just some sort of sick office prank.....Hopefully. "Is anyone there!?" He cried, half hoping that someone would come and half dreading that the person who answered him would be the one who had kidnapped him to begin with.
After a few seconds of silence, he finally heard a few feminine voices, muffled by what was most likely a thin wall. The voices became louder and louder, until the sound of a squeaky door being pulled open and slammed shut resonated in the large room. And then the horrific sound roared its way into his ears.
The sound of horses clip-clopping against tiled floor. This only left four options for Josh from accounting. Either he had been kidnapped by a horde of rednecks, by PETA or by a group of diabolical hippies.....Or even worse than that........Furries.
"It seems as though the prisoner is finally awake." An almost musical voice stated, with an amazing sense of authority. "Let's get this little charade over with." she growled, before Josh from accounting felt something tug at his head.
With a strong tug, the owner of the voice was able to rip the blindfold off of Josh from accounting's eyes and stare down at him with a tinge of hostility.
Looking down at Josh from accounting was a tall, horned,alabaster pony with an incredibly unreal mane that seemed to consist of every color of the rainbow, give or take a few reds. While this pony towered over him on his left, another, smaller, but angrier, purple unicorn popped up to his right.
She was much smaller than her white counterpart, but she still managed to stand a good foot over the hapless human, and she looked much, much angrier.
"Alright lets get right down to business." Twilight snarled, as she shoved her snout against Josh from accounting's sweaty face. "First, tell us your name, human."
With a loud gulp, Josh from accounting forced himself to answer with a weak voice. "Josh.....Josh from accounting." He added, as his interrogator gave off an angry snort. "Wh-who are you guy-"
With a resounding smack, Twilight silenced to poor human mid sentence with a powerful slap across his face. "WE'RE ASKING THE QUESTIONS YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SH-"
"Twilight Sparkle, that is enough!" Celestia hissed, effectively silencing the angry unicorn with her authoritative voice. "We're here to question him, not mentally abuse him."
While the purple unicorn sat down in the corner and muttered to herself, her taller counterpart, leaned down a little closer to the human with a stern look. "Now, Josh from accounting.....We want to know where they are."
"W-where what are?" He asked, as he did everything in his power to keep himself from wetting his pants. "I don't know what you're talking about!" He squeaked, as the white pony shook her head in disappointment.
"We want to know where the weapons are, Josh from accounting." Celestia asked, as Twilight popped up on Josh's right side once more.
"Yeah and why exactly is your name Josh from accounting? Shouldn't it just be josh!? ANSWER ME YOU LITTLE PIECE OF TRASH!" Twilight shrieked, as she raised her hoof to strike him once more.
"IT'S MY JOB! PEOPLE CALL ME ON THE PHONE AND I'M ALL LIKE 'HI I'M JOSH FROM ACCOUNTING!" AND THEY'RE ALL LIKE "WE NEED STUFF!" AND I WANNA GO HO-HO-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME! Josh from accounting shrieked,as he broke into tears. "Just don't hit me anymore!" He squealed as tears ran down his face.
"I won't let Twilight hit you anymore if you just tell us where the weapons are." Celestia stated matter-of-factly, as she wiped the tears from his face away with a hoof.
"What weapons!? We don't have any weapons!" Josh squeaked as loudly as he could, before being slugged again, by the purple unicorn.
"The bombs, you idiot! Tell us where your leaders hid all of the bombs!"
"You're testing our patience, Josh. Tell us now or suffer the consequences." Celestia stated, her eyes burning with frustration as the human refused to give the answers she so desperately sought. " Just tell us where they are. It will save us both the trouble and the pain.
"I DON'T KNOW!" Josh from accounting yelled, as he struggled against his restraints.
Celestia let out a massive sigh, before she looked up at her annoyed student and gave her a gentle nod. "He has made his choice. There's nothing more we can do for him."
With a nod in compliance, the two left the whimpering man alone in the poorly lit room to ponder his sanity and safety.
********************************************************
As soon as the two stepped out of the poorly lit room, Celestia let out an annoyed sigh while Twilight's frown transformed into a toothy grin. On the other side of the door waited the rest of Twilight's friends and Luna herself, all of whom had seen the ordeal unfold through the safety of a magically procured one way mirror.
"Wow, Twilight! You're an awesome bad cop!" Pinkie Pie squealed, as she hopped in place with an ear to ear smile plastered on her typically joyous snout. "You were all like "SHUT THE BUCK UP" and he was all like "I WANNA GO HOME" and I was all like "YAY!"
Twilight could only blush and brush the ground with an flattered hoof, while her friends all gathered around the first time interrogator to barrage her with compliments. Sadly, their jovial conversation was cut off by an awkward cough from Princess Celestia, who didn't exactly look to pleased with the way things have turning out.
"I'm sorry to cut the celebration short, my little ponies, but it seems as though we'll have to pull the information from him by force. He has told us nothing of the weaponry that his country employs and we can't allow him to walk away without telling us what he knows."
"I hate to ask this in the middle of a very important interrogation, but what exactly are what interrogating him for....If you don't mind me asking, that is." Fluttershy asked, before retreating behind the comfort of her long, pink mane.
"The issue is rather simple, dear Fluttershy!" Luna exclaimed rather loudly, causing the already fragile mare to forther retreat into the safety of her pink curtain of hair. "We've seen these humans practicing the use of their horrible weapons on this horrid training simulation called "Call of the Duty" Luna stated, using her hooves to somehow make air quotes.
"Indeed. Almost every day, this human goes to his home and participates in this cruel simulation on numerous occasions. He has even amassed a......Four to one kill death ratio." Celestia whispered, with the pause added for a dramatic effect.
Somehow, that dramatic pause had a resounding effect on the ponies, as an audible gasp rang out from the colorful group of mares.
"That's like.....One of them for every four of us!" Rainbow Dash squeaked, as the group muttered ominously amongst each other.
"Exactly." Celestia replied,as she turned her attention back towards the magical one way mirror. "That's why we're going to have to revert to....it. I hope y'all are ready, my little ponies." Celestia stated ominously, as she glared at the whimpering human with a hint of pity. "So who is going first?"
After a long silence filled the room, a yellow hoof was raised as the first pony stepped to the plate.
"I-I'll do it.....If you don't mind, that is."
Author's Note
Forgive me
