A Not-Really-Amazing Adventure of A Fanfic Writer In Equestria, or something

by Commander-Strife

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Sex, Twilight Sparkle, Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Human, Other, Romance, Original Character, Rainbow Dash
Length: 3760

A man who writes fanfics and reads them is taken to Equestria while writing his latest story.

[Note, will be removed next week: changed from mature to teen due to the fact so far in unpublished chapters i am editing, there are only references, nothing graphic]

A sort of man who wrote fanfiction of ponies and poorly attempted adventures or clopfics under one name, takes upon an entirely new persona. However, his peace and freedom to write of his favorite ponies going on epic adventures of coolness or steamy romance is upset when he's taken and transformed into a pony.
However he soon finds his characters are not all that fictional and he must hide from them or pay the consequences while figuring out how to foil a plot against the Equestrian Throne.

How will he use his knowledge of pop-culture, movie references, villain plot stories, and experience playing games to do such a thing while escaping his own creations?
However he does it, only one pink pony will be able to figure how he will have done so!

Warning: I claim no responsibility if this story causes the following: shattered sanity, headaches, WAT Syndrome, arousal, anger, depression, suicidal tendencies due to terrible story writing, or waffles.

Note: Takes place BEFORE Equestria Girls, but after Season 3's finale. Also feel free to tell me any corrections you may have. Though if you want to express any hate, please tell your parents so i can wonder how that'll change anything. While writing more. And More :3

Published 2013-11-15 00:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-11-15 00:50:02 UTC

Issue 1: A Star That Isn't Lavos

He was a man. Well he's yet to not be one so let's go with "He is a man but will eventually stop being a man" and start over with that.

He is a man and will eventually stop being a man. A man who spent his days usually in front of his computer screen. He had what few chose to call a rather large gender-identity crisis and chose to go by his supposed 'genderbent' name, Samantha. Now Samue-err I mean Samantha, wrote fanfiction in his... or her... whatever, Their spare time. Screw it, going with her for now.

Now she took much pride in her writings, as any writer well should if such a writer were to send much time with the craft.

Now she wrote a wide assortment of fics. All the way from utterly Random and confusing, to downright steamy, erotic romance fics. She liked to think it was more than the usual CloudxSephiroth sort of fic, but it was mostly like those, save for a few curve-balls thrown at the viewers.

Now she was rather attractive for a transgender male, but we're getting off-topic here.

The point is, She loves doing what she does, every night, at exactly 6pm all the way until midnight, when she'd go to bed, but however she couldn't go to bed.

Somehow the very thought of sleep seemed ludicrous, almost to the point of scaring her. So she spent more time on the internet, reading steamy adult-rated fanfiction, and watching cool and epic parody videos.

She did this until one hour later she found something peculiar. A popup. The accursed thing made her glare with utter disdain and hatred at it. "Adblock, What are you doing." She would mutter to see if it were working, which it was. She shrugged and clicked the X to close the small window, not even bothering to read it.

She was undisturbed for a full minute before it popped up again on a completely different web page. She closed it again.

She kept finding it every minute, getting more annoyed than she was the last time she saw it, eventually yelling loudly, at the top of her lungs "Fuck off you dickish browser window!" And ended the browser's process right away.

Despite her neighbor's annoyed yelling at her, she was focused on the browser which closed...

But the process restarted on it's own. She killed it again and again and again, but sure enough it wouldn't stay dead, so she pulled the plug on her computer.

Now if this were any normal night, it would have turned off, but oh no. Did it ever stay on. Despite having no source of power, the desktop faded from a rather gorgeous picture of Leon S Kennedy to a pure black background. She peered closely at the monitor, thinking with annoyed curiosity 'What in fiction's name are you up to computer?' and her peering went on until her face was pressing against the monitor.

Then it hit her. Metaphorically that is, as the browser popup came up again suddenly, her speakers blaring the OS's "Bonk" noise that was associated with errors. it was so loud the windows in her room shattered and the monitor cracked slightly.

She jumped out of her chair with a startled shout and fell backwards in the comfy office, arm-rested chair. She hit her head hard upon the floor, most likely receiving a concussion if just a mild one. She was only moments from passing out so she got back up, finding the monitor bright in an unholy amount and had to shield her eyes as the monitor got even brighter.

Her neighbour was really not happy and made even more noise than she had, a gruff voice coming behind the wall next to her "Hey! Shut up, People are sleeping!" But she ignored him. Completely, Like she always did.

Soon the room started to shake and the monitor shined to light the dark room up like it was day, despite it being 1 at night. 1:32 eastern to be exact.

She lost equilibrium as her injuries took effect slowly, dizziness becoming enough to overwhelming her legs. She fell but as she did she did so without a seeming end as she faded into pure light.

The light was unlike the other blinding light. calm, and embracing it supported her every muscle as she felt like she was floating.

But she suddenly came to a stop as she hit the ground. Outside, under the sun's view range. She saw the beautifully errily stationary clouds and blue sky before passing out to darkness.

She woke up to a blazing, slightly focused ray of light which made her moan in agony and close her eyes, rolling over to shield her fragile eyes. She felt incredibly weird and her mind was erratic. The last she remembered, she suffered a concussion and started to suffer from it, but her head was feeling right as rain save for a fading migraine. Her body was tingling to a deep and intimate level and she uttered a cough as she struggled to right herself. she placed a hand on the ground, pushed up and opened her eyes slowly.

She froze. Her brain took literally three minutes to comprehend the impossible.

Her hand was a hoof. A fluffy, indigo, colored hoof.

She screamed and panicked. This wasn't supposed to happen! She had plans! And changing species definitely wasn't one of them dammit!

But her panic subsided, remembering who she was deep down. She was th kind of girl who could look past a person's outer appearance, and remembered that even if she was some equine, she was still herself on the inside. Plus she'd even wrote a story similar to this moment, which excited her, always having the fantasy of taking the place as her main protagonist, Edacaf Ymrots.

She sat down upon her plot and looked upon her own body, taking in every detail. Her mind was done screwing around and worked deliberately to finding many things out. She couldn't come to many conclusions, but after some self-probing with her forehooves she came to the conclusion she was actually a real girl! She was instantly delighted but still many questions lingered. But she needed a mirror or something so she set off to see herself in a polished pane of glass.

She'd arrived in a forest of some kind, just an ordinary forest with stationary weather, which barely worked in creeping her out, but remembered she could be like a hero brought into a land not her own, not one of time though, she found that unlikely. She viewed herself as important to noone, missed by everyone.

But she eventually arrived at the outskirts of a town, having had to brush her brown hair out of her way many times. She was a redhead in her world but she didn't care. Atleast not a single person would call her a ginger or abuse her or make her feel terrible in any other way... hopefully.

She breached the bushes, her head close to the ground. She would run up to each bit of cover, making her way to the town, when suddenly she is flanked by a pegasus with cyan-colored coat and a rainbow-colored hairdo and tail, who blurted out "Hey!"

]=====+~~+====[

Rainbow Dash, a mare commonly known as a rather lazy layabout who wanted nothing more than to sleep was more of the director-ish leader behind a team of other pegasi who controlled the weather. The weather never rested so her resting hours were incredibly variable, working so often she had to juggle friends and sleep on more than a few occasions.

She was currently napping when her ears suddenly caught the sound of bushes rustling from the White Hare Forest. She had no memory of anypony going in there, everypony rarely went out of the way to not use the path into the forest so she was a bit curious.

She woke up and got up rather quickly, looking over the edge of the cloud she slept upon and looked down upon a slightly dark blue mare with brown hair, cautiously walking out of the forest. She felt like greeting her so she did; Rainbow Dash-style!

Dash jumped down and  flew down to her with great speed and stopped shy of a few inches from her side and yelled out "Hey!" however this got a reaction she didn't usually get, the mare got startled, screamed in surprise and passed out almost all in one go.

The mare seemed to sleep soundly but was somehow radiating with heat,which made Dash curious. Even she never really radiated with this heat so she picked the comatose mare up and carried her to her friend, Twilight Sparkle. She'd know what to do, after all she read books half the time so why not give it a try? Picking up the 20 to 70 pounds of blacked out pony, she sped off to the great tree library with her plan in mind and a nod to herself.

]=====+~~+====[

Once again she woke up somewhere different. To say it wasn't atleast a bit annoying was an understatement, but she was happy she wasn't in a cellar shackled to a surgical table. She woke up on her side and groaned again as she woke up to a lividly joyful face within an inch of hers. She opened her eyes wide, her ears folding back to the surprise. She wasn't sure what to do.

She'd never had a surprise like this in any fiction she read or experienced, or that she even wrote. It however didn't take long until the face drew back and happily ran away down a flight of stairs, shouting "Twilight! She's Awaaaaaake! Can i throw her party now?" with the greatest enthusiasm. She heard a chuckle and got out of bed, hiding under a basket near the bed she was in. She huddled and curled up as small as possible but it was no use, a purple hoof lifted the basket, exposing her to the world.

She was met with a grinning pink pony and a happily smiling purple pony. The other had a really happy, sort of welcoming feeling about her, while the other felt more calm but equally welcoming. The pink one cheerfully asked, while getting all up in her grill "What's your name? How are you? Do you write fanfiction too?" to who she leaned backwards, her face looking rather confused and possibly intimidated by her proximity to her face, ears bent back yet again.

This didn't last long though as she was tugged away gently by the purple one who then scolded her "Pinkie! Give her some space, she's obviously not from around here!" And offered her a glass of apple juice and some soup, which she just looked at. Despite her getting used to her transformation, it would take her a bit before her mind woke up and ticked into gear.

They left her alone as Pinkie seemed to have broken her brain, but Twilight later came back 30 minutes later.

She just finished up the apple juice and was scarfing down the soup, both hooves holding the bowl as she was half on her back, half on her rear, gulping down the tasty mixture with hungry fervor. She lowered the bowl and saw Twilight smiling at her, asking with a content tone "Were you hungry?" Which made her feel rather embarrassed.

Her parents and friends back home made a huge deal when she did such a thing, even if she was somehow hungrier, so she could only make a shamed expression as she'd look down at the bowl held by her forehooves... somehow, which rested inbetween her hindlegs.

Twilight looked immediately apologetic at that "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you, i was just... nevermind, how are you feeling?" She looked at her with concern. She felt like talking as she went onto all hooves and shrugged at her "It's okay I guess... I feel okay... all things considered" She said rather vaguely.

Twilight, who she knew the name of due to the other ponies talking to her in the other room in the past half hour. Twilight smiled and nodded "Good, would you like to come downstairs and introduce yourself to everypony?"

Everypony. That word lingered for a bit. There was more of them outside? The thought made her uneasy, but she shrugged it off easily enough and asked in response "Actually, if it's okay with you... I'd kinda like to ask... what I actually AM" She spoke the last word with great emphasis. She knew she was some kind of equine. The name for it she had in mind was a candyhooves, which was silly in comparison to twilight's matter-of-fact answer, accompanied with a happy giggle "You're a pony, well a pegasus to be exact. You... didn't know that?"

Her answer made Twilight look rather curious "Well... No... I didn't... mostly because I wasn't like this before now... you know, i was a person with... well... hands." She could feel like she was gonna have to go downstairs anyways as Twilight smiled with interest "Wait, you were once human?" To which she nodded and got another question in return "How did you get here?"

She couldn't answer that so she said "I dunno... I was at home, then BAM! I'm here, as a... pony or a pegasus. whichever i am, i didn't ask for this" She thought back to a certain game she loved, but then shook it out of her mind. twilight beckoned her downstairs to which she saw 3 others.

First she saw a purple and green dragon. He looked pretty cool to her, but equally adorable. She knew he was a dragon due to the scales and obvious intelligence as he was with the pinkie one "Pinkie Pie" as she was named, already looking at her with that grin and attitude of omnijoyous intensity. Then was the cyan mare they called "Rainbow Dash" on a couple of occasions. She could testify to the validity of her name personally, it did cause her to faint ofcourse.

"She's Up! She's Up! Time for a welcoming party!" Pinkie exclaimed happily, streamers floating down from the ceiling, whether placed there without Twilight's knowing or more of her reality-breaking brand of magic, either way Twilight told her to calm down as she sort of looked at her in a bewildered way. 'Wonder why she's so excited to see me... probly aloto of ponies like me walking around' She wonders, but her attention is then interrupted as Twilight beckons her to a cushion, or maybe what chairs for ponies were.

It made sense to her so she sat down and Twilight asked "Could you please tell us who you are, maybe a bit about who you are?" She asked, glasses, notepad and pen on and held close in a strange glow. She would ask about that later, would be cool if she could do that! "My name is Samantha and I uhhh... Kinda used to be a human, but i also loved to write fanfiction. My for-sure OTP is without a doubt is SoraxRiku Without a doubt!" She looked down abit before looking back up.

They all asked her questions, things that any ethereal observer would have known before that moment. It largely varied into what fanfiction was or what she usually wrote about and to tell a bit about some of her stories. She often when on gushing-sprees, not a single pony taking hint of a single star, shining a faint red in the distance.

]=====+~~+====[

"My dear sister, we are worried..." The lunar princess said before she would be needed in raising the moon. Celestia knew full well what her sister was worried about as she saw the red star. nopony paid it any mind as the sun would conflict with the star's appearance, but certain ponies like the princesses had many tricks, one of them was ignoring glare from the sun to see something.

The red star appeared there "Whatever it is, it is travelling fast. It will arrive in the next hour, but we are not sure if it's an entirely good sign" She spoke the truth, and Celestia wondered if she should tell her sister of her summoning of a champion to help guard her people with Twilight's help against what Luna even now thought what was coming.

Whether it was a giant earth bug or aliens, Celestia doubted she could refuse the help of anypony or anyone.

]=====+~~+====[

Until about night they talked, getting aquainted with Samantha. She asked her new friends with a smile "Do any of you have a mirror i can see myself in? I haven't actually seen myself yet. I-I'm only curious is all" Twilight told Spike to fetch a mirror and he dragged over a rather tall one, one a pony could easy see one's self in, it wouldn't fit any princess taller than Twilight however.

Samantha stepped up to it curiously, looking at herself in the mirror made the reality of her new form concrete. A rather entrancing slightly dark blue mare, not indigo but more of an ultramarine blue, a brown mane that was rather at the front and long but curly at the back. Her hair was mostly curled, but kind of messy, slumped to a single side "Ugh... it looks like i've got a year old mop on my head..." Sam glowered to herself.

She studied her other features as closely, making a perfect 360 as she looked literally everywhere. She was rather built like Twilight similarily, but maybe with a bit more of a shorter body, like how she might have been without the wings, if they made any difference that is. Her face was rather average she could guess, and her physique was nice also to her own standards. Finished with checking herself out, she smiled as she went back down to sitting next to Twilight "Thanks Twilight" And smiled at her with appreciation.

Pinkie got an idea suddenly "Hey, why don't we take her to Rarity! She'd totally know what to do with your hair if you don't like it! I personally think it looks cool, but y'know, whatever floats your boat!" She grinned. Everyone agreed, Samantha wasn't enthused, but anything to keep the pink pony from getting into her face again. It was a bit much, everything.

They later arrived at Rarity's boutique, and as Samantha stepped in, said "Uhh... Hello?" And was greeted, she was startled by a scream as Rarity saw her "Ragged, Mangy Mop on her head" She practically begged her to change her mane, it was a serious crime against everything she practically stood for!

Sam shrugged "Sure, I personally hate how it looks, so I'd love it if you could do it but uhm... for free would be wonderful of you. I don't really have any bills on me right now"

Rarity looked a bit puzzled and the others had waited outside "Bills? Oh, we can talk later, right now this... thing MUST be changed!"

While Sam was getting her makeover the two talked about the good things they both cared about. Which meant only a few things. Boys, or colts in this case, pretty clothes, which rarity had plenty of, and... well actually most of anything else Sam just humored her and tuned out. she wasn't really into horses or ponies, but she was human then. She didn't really know what to think about most things.

As she finished on Sam's mane, the ground started to rumble and Luna's predictions were proven wrong as something made planetfall close by. Sam's mane was unscathed as the shaking caused Rarity to lose her balance and almost fall over, her forehooves waving to keep balance. Sam was actually really curious and got off the chair and went outside to see what was up.

A slightly small capsule had hit into the ground and left an impact trail ranging a good twenty feet. Samantha and the others rushed over to this, and despite numerous warnings, Sam decided to touch the giant pill-shaped object.

Upon touching it with a hoof, the front openned, hitting Sam square in the nose, making her move back quickly and rub her nose in surprise and only slight pain.

Some rose from inside of it, but it wasn't a pony or a human, but what appeared to be an orange blob. This blob left the capsule and immediately cried out and attacked Samantha, latching entirely onto her head, save for her mouth and nose. She ran around as the others panicked and came to her aid, hearing her yell ove and over "Get it off me, Oh god what is this thing, get it off!"

She tripped and hit her head, to which the blob reacted and formed more around her head, stopping her from being harmed. Her head was always a magnet to injury before but this was getting ridiculous.

The blob got off her head as the others took it off and it giggled, jumping to some grass nearby and it formed a happy smile, a little bowtie apparently forming on the side if what might be it's face. It looked happy to see them and Pinkie chuckled happily as she hugged it and it hugged back.

Twilight asked "What is that thing?" To nopony in particular, but Sam knew what it was. Who it was. and she spoke with a slight finality to her voice "It's SCP-999, a cute, little adorable blob with the sole intention of loving others and protecting them and also cheering others up. It's rather indestructible i like to think"

They all looked at her and got mixed reactions. Pinkie nodded and said "I know, 999 is such a cool one, not my favorite but still so cooooool!" She said as she picked the blob in her hooves up and squeezed the living daylights out of 999, which was impossible but she still tried her hardest, almost squishing it in half. Twilight was curious yet again "How do you know that?" and the other two had nothing to say, but were indeed behind Twilight.

Samantha just shrugged and said simply "Ehhh... The internet" which got confused looks from all ponies save for Pinkie aswell who was now playing with the blob, no longer in the conversation.

Rainbow Dash, surprising to Twilight, asked her before she could "What's the Internet?"