In Which Tears Serve As Lube

by AwkwardTaco

Rating: mature
Tags: Random, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy, Romance
Length: 1058

Rainbow Dash cries not for you, but for her.

Rainbow Dash and the Mane Six try to solve her mystifying fetish.

And you can too!

ChaseCosmicwing- He edited. Should receive full recognition for his service in this story.

Regidar - Gave me this illustrious idea. He wanted to associated himself with this story. So there you go, Regi. Associated.

Lord Ershwin Wholewheat - Just follow him. Don't question why. Do Tacos steer you wrong? No. They are Tacos. They cannot lie.

Published 2013-11-15 01:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-11-15 01:20:02 UTC

The Chapter. For Your Reading.

It was a fine evening at the Sparkle household, and the communal luncheon between the six Elements of Harmony was going well. They had just finished their awesome meatlovers pizza, much to Fluttershy’s joy, and were now moving on to the garlic bread sticks.

Pinkie was already plotting her way to the marinara sauce cup before the others knew what was going on. In one bite, she ate all the fried lines of buttery goodness. The few specks of garlic crumbs were quickly licked off by Rainbow Dash.

Without warning, Rainbow burst into salty tears. A face contorted with both pleasure and sadness appeared on her. The Mane Six looked on in complete confusion, not entirely sure of what they could make of the situation.

“What’s wrong, Rainbow Dash?” Twilight asked inquisitively. “Did some of the garlic get in your eye?”

“No.” Rainbow Dash squirmed about in her seat and continued to sob. Applejack was at a loss for words, but no one really paid any attention to her.

“Did you hit your hoof on something?” Rarity asked in the chic way she always spoke.

“No.” Rainbow was practically vibrating in the chair. Her tears down her cheeks like two waterfalls.

“Are you having trouble with,” Pinkie Pie gasped. “boys?”

Rainbow Dash nodded and the tears became a torrent of water splashing onto the floor. Spike, like the dutiful slave/pet he was, came with a towel and used himself to clean the floors. He proceeded to wring himself out over a bucket.

“Oh, I bet it was Flash Sentry this time, right?” Fluttershy whispered. “Or was it Soarin? Or Snowflake? Or that one pony you met by the liquor store after you had cleaned house with that poker game, but then got stabbed when the mob boss there found out that you were cheating?”

“Yeah, that dude,” Rainbow sobbed. She had abandoned her chair and was now spasming on the floor. Yet more tears washed away the dirt on the floor.

“So, why are you crying so much?” Twilight asked. “Haven’t you gotten over him yet? He was totally, like, three weeks ago, right?”

“Well, guys, I’ve been meaning to tell you,” Rainbow Dash said with a tone of embarrassment. “I have this fetish where when I see somepony cry, I get really turned on. It’s like, someone starts crying at a funeral. Bam! Super horny.”

“Well golly, Rainbow Dash!” Applejack said, much to the annoyance of everyone in attendance. “What are ya gonna do ‘bout it?”

“I just got to ride it out, you know?” Rainbow Dash moaned. “Like a headache. But with tears. And lust.”

“I think I understand what you’re getting at, RD!” Twilight exclaimed gleefully. “If we help Rainbow Dash overcome her obsession with tears, we might just be able to fix her!”

At that moment, all the ponies in the room began to weep their precious hearts out. Twilight wept for that one book she never finished reading. Rarity wept for all the times when she could have taken advantage of Spike’s love for her, but didn’t. Fluttershy wept because she had nothing else to do. Pinkie Pie sobbed once she remembered that the children of the Cakes were at the house alone with a stove turned on.

Spike had no idea what was going on, so he went upstairs to dust some books.

Rainbow Dash began to rub herself. The others followed in her hoofsteps. The eroticness became to great for the glassware on the table, causing it to shatter and spill water onto the floor. This made Rainbow Dash all the more aroused and energetic.

Birds were chirping outside. The sun shone with great magnificence; fillies and colts were enjoying themselves by sunbathing out on the grassy hills outside town. The Cutie Mark Crusaders went off on their next daring adventure: Cutie Mark Crusaders, Professional Spoon Benders.

Back inside, the moaning had only increased in decibel. Fluttershy imagined Angel bunny as she wept and rubbed. Pinkie thought of the frosting off of that one cake she had seen that morning. Twilight thought of the book she had just read. Rarity thought of all the times she could’ve worn a dress for no particular reason, but didn’t.

The six began taking turns rubbing the other. One on, one off. One on, one off. Pause. Then continuing again.

Suddenly, Balrog the Destroyer burst through the door, not interrupting the main six in the slightest.

“FOOOOOOOLS!” he bellowed. “YOU CAN’T CONTAIN MY POWER FOREVER.”

The Mane Six got up from the floor and staggered to the box that held the Elements of Harmony, slightly stumbling as they tried to control their arousal.

They placed the assorted jewelry to the respective ponies: Kindness for Fluttershy, Loyalty for Rainbow Dash, Laughter for Pinkie Pie, Generosity for Rarity, and Magic for Twilight. Spike busied himself upstairs with his sweeping of the bedrooms.

In a final smash attack, the Elements of Harmony let loose a hydro cannon of tears against their rambunctious foe. The salt and water pressure was too much for the demon and he was soon vanquished.

However, the hydro cannon would not cease. The Elements could not stop the endless flow of their tears. The house was almost instantly overfilled. Ponyville was flooded within the hour. Canterlot, the shining seat of Princess Celestia was overrun with the stray liquid by the end of the day.

“Princess!” A guard approached the controller of the sun. “The water will not go down! We must evacuate the city.”

“No, Captain,” Celestia said in her regal tone. “I must go down with the ship. You fought bravely, but there is nothing we can do.”

“My Princess, you are so kind to your subjects,” the guard bowed.

“Indeed.” Celestia walked over to the castle window. “Now, go. Protect the innocent and tell them of my deed.”

“As you wish, milady.” The guard disappeared behind the doors to the throne room.

Far out on the ever expanding sea, Rainbow Dash floated peacefully on the new ocean that now covered the entire landmass of Equestria.

Her sexual urges were now almost gone now, thanks to her friends. The elements of friendship had prevailed yet again against insurmountable odds.

“At least I’ll die with a raging boner,” Rainbow Dash sighed as she drifted off into peaceful sleep.