What Would You Doooooooo... for a Cutie Mark?

by Season3Brony

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Comedy
Length: 2045

The Cutie Mark Crusaders have yet to get their cutie marks--it's time to step up their game! Today, they will meet to discuss just how far they're willing to go for those prized butt tattoos.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders have yet to get their cutie marks–it's time to step up their game! Today, they will meet to discuss just how far they're willing to go for those prized butt tattoos.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-11-14 21:20:03 UTC

Chapter 1

A/N: Warning! This story is so random it may make you cry! It was made to be random, so don't go into it expecting it to make sense!

After trying so long to get their cutie marks, the three fillies still had a blank flank. Once again, they met in their clubhouse to discuss plans to get those desired marks.

"Girls," Applebloom started, "Ah spent the whole weekend tryin' ta get mah mark, and still nothin'! We need to change our tactics."

"Yea," Scootaloo jumped in, "I was out all day yesterday looking for anything that might work."

"...You were followin' Rainbow Dash around; I saw you!" Applebloom replied.

"Oh, heh heh, I might have been multitasking a bit..."

"So what kind of things did you do to get your cutie mark, Applebloom?" Sweetie Belle offered.

"Well..."

Applebloom, would you scoop out the barn this mornin'? I gotta whole mess a chores to do.

But Applejack, I caint!

An' why not?

*Sigh* And big sisters are supposed to be the smart ones... I caint scoop out thah barn cause what if ah'm real good at it?

Come again?

What if ah do such a good job, I get mah cutie mark from doin' so well? I cain't have a poop-scooping cutie mark! You don't want yer little sister spendin' the rest of her life scooping up poop, do you? And havin' a pooper-scooper on my flank? Cain't you imagine the torment?!

Applebloom, that is the worst excuse ah've ever heard! All right, Ah'll muck out the barn if'n you collect the eggs.

Yay! Yer the best big sister in the whole world!

I know, now get over there and get us a big bunch a eggs, all right?

Egg collectin' cutie mark, here ah come!

"I tried tah get a jugglin' cutie mark," Applebloom answered her filly friend.

"Oh? How'd that go?"

"Not so well..." she admitted.

"Hey!" Scootaloo got all excited, "I just thought of something!"

"You did?" Sweetie Belle questioned. After a beat, Scootaloo reached up and tightened the lightbulb hanging above her, causing it to come on. "Oh! That really is a great place for thinking." All three fillies nodded in agreement.

"Anyway, I don't know why we didn't think of this before! Let's just go ask Princess Celestia. She always knows what to do, right? I'm sure she could tell us how to get our cutie marks."

"But Rarity says it's impossible to know what one's cutie mark will be until they've got it. Not even the princess could know that! We have to find them ourselves!"

"Sweetie Belle's right, it's up ta us! Come on, what haven't we tried yet?"

A young, tan unicorn walked the streets, waving to the other ponies as he passed. He was just a colt, but there was much more to him than met the eye.

Right now, he was heading over to Sweet Apple Acres to speak with Applebloom. When he reached the house, nopony answered. Oh, right! the unicorn thought to himself, She's probably at the clubhouse in the middle of a meeting. Hope they don't mind if I interrupt for one second. Before he headed over there, though, he spotted Applejack.

"Hey, Applejack! Is your sister around?"

Applejack stopped and stared the pony. "Um... may I help you?"

"Well... yea, I was wondering if I could speak with your sister," James said, confused. "That's okay, isn't it?"

"You wanna speak with Applebloom? What for?"

"Applejack, are you feeling all right?" James tried to put his hoof to her forehead, but she backed away.

"Ah'm mighty sorry ta ask you this, but do ah know you?" Applejack continued to look at James like he was a stranger.

"Huh? Well, it's me, James! Don't you..." Applejack just shook her head. "Oh, well... I'm sorry. I must be thinking about a different southern pony named Applejack who has a sister named Applebloom and lives on a farm. I'll just... I'll see you later." James walked away, only looking back once.

Why didn't she recognize me? She acted like she hadn't seen me her whole life! ...I need to speak with the princess.

With that, he galloped away, leaving a confused Applejack behind.

"Girls, it has become clear that we can't get our cutie marks sitting around in this clubhouse!" Scootaloo announced, "We need to go out and do something. This calls for action!"

"But what are we supposed to do?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Hmm..." Applebloom tapped her chin, "Maybe we should make a list of things of things we DON'T want as cutie marks. Just ta narrow it down a bit."

"That might be a good idea!" Sweetie Belle agreed. "And you weren't even in the thinking spot."

Applebloom smiled. "All right, let's get started!"

"Well..." Sweetie Belle started, "What about a burping cutie mark? That would be awful!"

"Are you kidding? That would be awesome!" Scootaloo threw her hoof in the air.

"Yea, that might be fun!" Applebloom agreed.

Sweetie Belle stuck her tongue out at the idea, "Well, I DON'T want to be known for burping. Besides, what would a burping cutie mark even look like?"

"Princess Celestia, you promised!"

"James, please try to understand--it is best for Equestria if they do not remember. Such a violent war should never have taken place, and this is why it has been hidden from them."

"So I guess his sacrifice means nothing now? You're going to let the world forget about him?"

"We'll never get anywhere writing down ideas about things we DON'T want to do!" Scootaloo argued, "I say we dedicate this next week to getting our cutie marks, and see who gets theirs first!"

"You're on!" Applebloom said back. "Ah'm goin' ta get mine tomorrow. Who needs a week?"

"No way!" Sweetie Belle countered, "I'm going to be the first! I already have an idea of what it's going to be."

"We'll just see about that! Let the games begin! ...tomorrow I mean. I have to go home in ten minutes."

"Yea, Applejack hates it when ah'm late for supper. See you all tomorrow!"

"I'm sorry it has to be this way."

"Yea... me too... I think you're making a mistake, but I'll trust you know what you're doing. Thank you so much for your time."

"Of course. I'll let Luna know you're ready to go."

Sweetie Belle made her way back to he house but paused when she thought she saw a flash of light. Wasn't there a pony just there? ...Did he just...? Nah, couldn't be! She must be more tired than she thought. And she had a full week ahead of her.

Day 1

Applebloom sneaked up on her unsuspecting prey. As she neared the pony, she stood up tall and shouted, "CRUNCHITIZE!!" The pony jumped and looked back at the small filly. Applebloom dropped back to the floor, "Darn," she said before turning to walk away, "I need a telescope. Don't go away, I'll be right back!" The filly ran away from her victim, who just shook her head and walked away.

Day 2

Scootaloo was traveling by scooter once again, but this time she was moving faster than she ever had before! She saw the jump up ahead and raced toward it. Knowing there was nothing but mud below it, she boldly continued until she reached the edge and threw herself forward as hard as she could! Time seemed to slow as she flew through the air. Flying! She was actually flying! This was it! Flying had to be her destiny--she had known it all along! She--

fell straight down and landed in the mud. Scootaloo needed a bath that night.

Day 3

"Aww, that's sweet. Sweetie Belle wants to do your hair!" Rarity's parents had stopped by for a quick visit, and Sweetie Belle wanted to get her cutie mark in mane-styling.

"I-I don't think that's... such a good idea, I..." Rarity stuttered before running over to her parents, "Please don't let her do it!"

"Oh, it couldn't hurt to let her try," they assured her.

"Yes it could! You didn't see what happened when she tried to give me a hair cut in my sleep. I couldn't show my face for weeks!" If her parents weren't here, she would NEVER. EVER. let Sweetie Belle even think about it.

"Just let her comb it down a bit and see if it gets her a cutie mark, that's all she's asking."

Rarity bit her lip and was sitting in a chair quite unhappily a few minutes later.

"How about you just stick with the tail, all right?" Rarity pleaded, but Sweetie Belle didn't listen. Somehow Rarity ended up with glitter, dish soap, and Doritos all in her mane.

Sweetie Belle never got to touch Rarity's mane again. And Rarity took five showers that day.

Day 4

Applebloom gathered all her strength. She lifted her hind legs up and shouted as she kicked the tree with all her might.

"Ah! My leg! Ah think it's broken!"

"Applebloom!" Applejack ran up and grabbed her, "Are you alright?"

"No, I think I busted mah leg!"

"Hold on, let me call the nurse," Applejack set her down inside and ran to get some help. When she returned, Applebloom was rolling around on the floor in pain. "Just hang on, the nurse is comin'!"

There was a knock on the door. Applejack was about to answer it when Applebloom suddenly burst out laughing. She walked over to the door, explaining to the nurse behind it, "There ain't no emergency! Ah was just tryin' to get mah acting cutie mark. Ah was fooling mah sister all along!"

When she opened the door, she was surprised at what she found. "I think your sister actually fooled YOU. I'm the pizza delivery pony." Applejack winked at her little sister.

Day 5

Scootaloo wasn't one to give up easy! She raced along the streets, her scooter taking her faster than she could ever go on her own. With determination, she spotted the target--a seesaw with a bunch of fruit on the other end. A grin grew on her face as she jumped and landed directly on target, sending the fruit flying! They flew straight up and started falling towards the basket set up, exactly as planned. Only they hit it on its edge, throwing the basket forward... not as planned. The basket hit a random pony right in the face, causing her to scream and run into a flock of birds, who flew away in panic and knocked over some laundry that was hanging up to dry. The clothes fell and landed on a mean-looking dog which ran in a panic, unable to see anything until it hit a stand promoting the world's biggest cheese rolls. The cheese was knocked off the stand and rolled down the hill until it broke through the pig pence and hit a loose board which threw a big glob of mud right over to Scootaloo. It landed in the exact spot Scootaloo was standing, covering her in mud.

Scootaloo took another bath that night.

Day 6

The crusaders agreed to meet in the clubhouse instead of crusading that day.

"Ah don't even want my cutie mark anymore!" Applebloom burst out.

"Me either," Scootaloo said, once again covered in mud, "It's a lot messier than it looks..." The other two fillies just looked at the mud-covered pony. "Don't ask..."

"But we can't give up! Everyone has a cutie mark but us," Sweetie Belle reminded them.

"Not that pony," Applebloom pointed over to a brown, unicorn colt. "He doesn't have a cutie mark either!"

Suddenly, James looked up and vanished in a flash of light. The three fillies stood there with wide eyes. "Did he just... nah!"

"Wait, mah big sis said somethin' about a new pony. Ah wonder if that's James?"

Meanwhile, on earth

"Ah, it's good to be back! Traveling between worlds sure is tiring." Suddenly, he had an idea. "Hey, what if I wrote everything that happened down... and posted it? Ha! That would be so random, no one would even read it!"

...without regretting it anyway. The end.

Haha, wow! I swear, this story is a joke and will be deleted! I was bored...