Perception

by Valen

Rating: teen
Tags: Other, Romance, Original Character, Scootaloo, Slice of Life, Sweetie Belle, Sad, Apple Bloom, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark
Length: 40465

Scootaloo is alone. She's failed her family, her friends, her destiny - everything. Running away from her problems, Scootaloo lost herself in the sprawling city of Las Pegasus. Now, her life is meaningless... until a letter arrives from Ponyvill

"Life is a matter of perception."

Scootaloo is alone. She's failed her family, her friends, her destiny - everything. Running away from her problems, Scootaloo lost herself in the sprawling city of Las Pegasus. Now, her life is grey and colourless, devoid of friends or purpose... until a letter arrives from Ponyville that finally draws her back home.

A story about perseverance, purpose and love.

~~~
Description liable to change.

-Index Page-

An entry to the Scootabelle Writing Contest 1.

Thanks to everyone who has helped me on this project! I've been tossing around ideas for this since the contest opened, and am happy to have finally begun proper work on it.

Thanks to LoveBronyOtakuChan87 for the awesome cover art!

Thanks to Cerulean Voice for his incredible work as an editor!

Thanks to FlutterPal for his own work as an editor and art!

Thanks to Pegasister Teagan for the Letter!

Thanks to The Incognito Brony for help with the description!

Thanks to Scramblers and Shadows for his awesome work as an editor!

Thanks to The Celtic Pony for his work as a pre-reader!
Thanks to my sisters (who unfortunately don't have anywhere I can link to) for their own help editing and supplying ideas.

And most of all, thanks to all of you! Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story about lesbian ponies, I love each and every one of you! :raritywink:

Well then, I think that's about all for now, bye!

Inspired by A Bluebird's Song. A beautiful story by Ardensfax.

Published 2013-11-16 12:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-16 20:51:41 UTC

Chapter 1: Grey

Perception

~~~

“Does the walker choose the path, or the path the walker?”

~~~

Chapter 1: Grey

Grey.

The world around me was a dull grey. Monochrome, colourless, whatever you want to call it. That was my life. On all sides, the featureless walls of my prison surrounded me. Well, prison being the warehouse where I worked. In this case, though, ‘worked’ was a very loose term. I wasn’t sure what they kept here, but whatever it was, nobody was really interested in it. Most days, all I did was sit back and toss my ball at the wall.

That, incidentally, was what I was doing right now. I shifted slightly—repositioning my wings to get more comfortable—and adjusted the worn brown scarf that hung around my neck. I smacked the small red ball with my hoof, watching as it bounced off the floor, into the wall opposite me and back.

With practiced ease, I batted it again. This was my life; wake up, eat, get dressed, head to the warehouse, do nothing for eight hours, go home, eat, sleep. That was what it had been for over a year and—by the looks of it—what it always would be.

I knew there wasn’t much of a point anymore. I was trapped. I’d missed my chance, now that the cutie mark which I had strived so hard to obtain was just that. A mark, nothing more, nothing less. There was no grand destiny waiting for me, no beautiful future where I would fly into the sunset, a blazing trail of stardust behind me. No, I’d lost my chance at that.

A clatter shook me out of my thoughts. I looked to my left to see what had fallen, but before I could find it, something hit the right side of my face. My head whipped around to find the attacker, only to see my ball, bouncing lightly on the floor. Shaking my head, I turned back towards the source of the sound. My rifle had fallen from its spot, propped up next to my crate.

Back when I had first received this job, when it seemed more like a blessing than a condemnation, I had claimed this section of the warehouse as mine to watch over. A single, large, blue crate had become my centre of operations. Now, all it represented was a place to sit down and reflect.

What’s become of me? I thought miserably, glancing out of one of the boarded-up windows into the wet streets of Las Pegasus. The weather seemed to reflect my mood: dreary and depressing. Before my train of thought could lead me to darker places, a gruff voice called out to me, from somewhere behind my rows of crates.

“Hey Scootaloo? Where’re ya?” I shook my head again, banishing those thoughts to a little closet in the back of my mind. Grasping the fallen rifle in my fetlocks, I righted myself, pausing to grab the fallen ball and shove it in a pocket with one of my wings. I quickly pulled myself into an attentive stance. Wouldn’t want the boss to see me slacking off now, would I? Despite how boring this place was, it was my only source of income.

A second later, Slate rounded the corner. Slate was a monster of an earth pony, standing at least a head taller than me. He wore a grey jacket which obscured his cutie mark. His fur was black and he had a messy brown mane. His eyes were hidden behind dark shades. Catching sight of me, he grinned. Celestia, how I hated that grin.

“Hey there, kid. How was the shift?” he asked, sidling up to me. If he wasn’t my boss, I would have decked him right then and there. Unfortunately for me, he was my boss, and I wanted to get paid. So instead of decking the fool, I satisfied myself with a glare in his direction.

The earth pony laughed. “You really need to lighten up. Anyway, your relief is here—you can head out now.” I nodded my thanks, before trotting off as fast as possible without making it obvious I was trying to escape. No matter how much he annoyed me, I wouldn’t let Slate win. As soon as I had made it a few rows away, I let out a content sigh, happy that he wasn’t following me.

I adjusted my scarf again, before continuing on my way out, passing rows upon rows of crates, along with the occasional member of security. I nodded my head in greeting towards them, but didn’t stop to talk. I never did: like me, these ponies didn’t want anypony prying into their lives, and I respected that. They just wanted to work, be paid and get on with their lives.

After about ten minutes of weaving my way through row upon row of cargo, I finally made my way to the entrance. The warehouse doorway was little more than a huge piece of metal, attached to various pulleys and chains that I had never bothered trying to understand. All I cared about was the fact that they opened the door to my freedom.

With a grin, I bucked the large iron lever and watched as the door slowly began to rise. Whenever the harsh gears grinded together, I remembered when I had first arrived at the warehouse. I had been terrified that the door might collapse on me at any moment. After over a year of working here, however, I had gotten used to it. The grinding was no more worrying than the swinging of the crane, or the creaking of the wood. It was all part of my day-to-day life.

I strolled out the now-open doorway, entering the bustling, wet streets of Las Pegasus. Ponies dashed about to and fro, off to whatever important thing they had to do during their day. The sky was beginning to get dark. I glanced upwards and was once again confronted with that overwhelming greyness.

Scowling, I began to trudge through the rain. What has become of me? I thought again. What is my purpose? It was on days like this that my mind started to throw these questions at me. I loathed it. The question turned over in my mind, prodding me, asking for an answer.

“Just buck off!” I yelled in frustration, kicking a nearby bin—its contents spilling out into the street. Why wouldn’t these stupid thoughts leave me alone? Why couldn’t I just go about my Celestia-damned life in peace?

“You okay, miss?”

“What’s it to you!?” I snapped at the source of the voice, a stallion, glaring daggers in his direction. Suddenly, I was very aware that every set of eyes around were on me. Not wanting to be there any longer, I turned around and walked off.

* * *

I was breathing heavily. I had ran straight home after my outburst, and was now leaning my head against the door of my apartment. I could feel anger welling up inside of me. I was such an idiot! That pony had just been trying to see if I was okay, and I had thrown his kindness right back in his face!

“What the buck, Scootaloo! What’s wrong with you!?” I shouted, angrily slamming my hoof against the door. I was just about to tear into the wooden portal before a thought crossed my mind:

What would Rainbow Dash think?

Immediately, I calmed down, the anger replaced by a cold void. If Rainbow were here, she’d tell me to chin up and not let it get to me. She’d tell me as long as I kept striving to do better, the small mistakes didn’t matter. She’d tell me I should never give up on anything. That I should always chase my horizons, not to prove anything to anyone, but just because they were there…

My eyes traced their way across my apartment’s living space, coming across a picture set on my dresser. I trotted over to it. The picture was of a cyan pegasus mare with a striking rainbow mane. She was posing, a charming yet stupid grin plastered on her face. Next to her was a small pegasus, an orange filly with a messy magenta mane. The filly was doing her best to mimic the rainbow one’s pose, but she was just slightly out of position.

I reached out to touch it, but pulled my hoof back before I could, fearing that I might disturb the moment. I closed my eyes, and turned away. I didn’t want to think about this right now. I was too tired. I slowly started walking to my bed, stopping to carefully take off my scarf and place next to a pair of flight goggles on a box nearby. However, before I could enter the warm confines of my bed, I noticed a brown envelope just in front of my door.

Huh, weird. I must’ve missed that when I came in. Shrugging, I picked it up in my teeth and took it over to my table. Now that I could properly see it, my eyes glossed over the envelope, coming to a stop when I saw where it had been sent from.

“Ponyville?” I exclaimed out loud, my voice cracking a little. I hadn’t talked to anyone from Ponyville in years, not since… well, it wasn’t important. What was important was that someone had managed to track me down, since I hadn’t told anyone where I was moving. I didn’t want them to know. Suddenly, I felt very guilty. I had abandoned all of my friends, for what? A life as a warehouse guard in some back-end of Las Pegasus?

Grimacing, I trotted over to my dresser again, looking for a knife to open the letter with. As I did so, my eyes caught sight of another picture: this one was of three young mares, all of them looking nearly sixteen. The orange pegasus from the previous picture was present, alongside a yellow earth pony with a red mane and a white unicorn with a swirly purple and pink mane. The earth pony wore an old stetson, and was grinning happily, whilst the white unicorn was draping herself over the pegasus, laughing brightly. The pegasus had a grin similar to the charming smile of the rainbow mare from the previous picture.

The image had been taken in happier times. What’s done is done I thought. No point crying over it now. Quickly locating the knife I had been looking for, I took it over to the desk and slit open the letter. With a flick of my wings, I had pulled out a sheet of parchment and was reading it through.

The letter was from Sweetie Belle, detailing how she was sorry that she hadn’t talked to me for so long. My guilt returned ten-fold. Just like Sweetie. Always thinking the best of other ponies. Taking the blame when it’s not even her fault. My eyes continued down the page, before stopping at the last couple of lines.

“No…” I whispered, my voice hoarse, as the knife fell from my grip. My legs felt weak, I couldn’t breathe. It was as if my fragile world had finally come crashing down. I was terrified; my heart felt constricted, like it was being cruelly twisted. “No, no no no!” I repeated the word like a mantra. This can’t be happening!

But it was. No matter how much I hated it, this was happening. Hay, it may have already happened.

Apple Bloom was dying.

* * *

Dear Scootaloo

I’m so sorry for not writing to you for such a long time. Things in Ponyville have been hectic, but especially now. It’s Apple Bloom. She’s... she’s dying Scoots. We need you here in Ponyville as soon as possible. Please come home, we miss you.

Love, Sweetie Belle.

* * *

Author's Note

Well, this story is quite a few 'news' for me. I've never written in first person before, never written romance before, never written sad before, and never written a full-length story before. Yay! So, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, and will stick with me for the rest of it. On that note, I'll be looking for artists willing to do an image or two which will go with a later chapter, so if you think you are up to the task, send me a message! Also, anyone who is highly experienceed with romance and would be able to give it a quick look over, or let me bounce ideas off of. Thanks for reading everybody!

EDIT: Letter image provided by Pegasister Teagan
A few minor changes, and removal of the old pagebreak for a less disruptive one.

Chapter 2: Better

Perception

~~~

“We are products of our past, but we don't have to be prisoners of it.”

~~~

Chapter 2: Better

I groaned as a shaft of light struck my face. I pathetically tried to block it with my hooves, but soon enough I realised that I would have to get up. Muttering a curse towards the sun, I shakily stood up. A quick glance around me told me that I was in the living area of my apartment.

How did I get here? I thought, my mind still foggy. I wracked my brain for the events of the previous day; I had woken up, gone to work, grabbed a hay sandwich on the way, helped some griffons move a crate into the building, then spent the rest of the day throwing my ball at the wall. I frowned. None of that seemed particularly out of the ordinary. After that I had just gone home… and then there was a letter.

Oh Celestia, the letter.

All the memories of the previous night hit me like a runaway train: the crying, the anger. I fell back, feeling physically hurt.

Dear Scootaloo,

I’m so sorry for not writing to you for such a long time. Things in Ponyville have been hectic,

I tried to stand up, only succeeding in slipping on something and falling back over.

but especially now. It’s Apple Bloom. She’s... she’s dying, Scoots.

“No, no…” I said in a whisper, my voice cracking.

We need you here in Ponyville as soon as possible. Please come home, we miss you.

Love, Sweetie Belle.

Apple Bloom was dying. She was dying and I wasn’t even there! I hadn’t talked to either of my friends in years. I had abandoned them. What kind of friend was I? I wasn’t Loyal, I wasn’t Kind or Generous. I wasn’t Honest and I certainly wasn’t positive enough to be Laughter. I had no virtue. Just add that to the growing list of things I fail at, I thought with a snort of frustration.

Then, just as I was about to go back to crying pathetically, I heard a faint voice in my mind. A scratchy, somewhat arrogant, yet caring voice. The voice of a mare who really did want you to be happy, who really did like you, but didn’t quite know how to express it.

“Be strong, Scoots. Remember: yeah, you may have messed up now, but we all do. We’re ponies, we aren’t perfect! Sure, things may be kinda bad right now, but that’s okay. All that matters is that you try to make it better, even if you don’t think you can. I remember last year, I was really angry at Twilight for something—can’t remember what anymore—but after the argument I ran out, bought her some chocolates and a book and apologised. That was it. She smiled, hugged me and said it was okay. I’m not saying that buying stuff is gonna fix everything with Sweetie, but you’ve gotta show her that no matter what, you still care. You’ve got to try and do better. Now go get her, squirt!”

It was a memory from years ago. Sweetie and I had gotten into an argument about something. I had been hanging out with her at the cafe, when Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon had come by. They stopped and started calling us filly-foolers. I’d said something like ‘I wouldn’t be caught dead like that with Sweetie, we’re just friends! Right?’ Sweetie had ran off at that, crying. I still don’t really get why she was so upset.

Either way, I was really worried about her, so I’d gone to see Rainbow Dash for some advice. That’s what a kid’s supposed to do isn’t it? They’re supposed to find the one being they believe in the most and ask them how to fix whatever they did, so obviously I turned to my big sister. She’d told me to go and apologise, so I did. Some ponies might say such blind faith in a mare as reckless as Rainbow was stupid, but I trusted my big sister and knew that she just wanted to help me. After that, Sweetie said she felt better and that was that. Of course, this situation was different, but it had the same core features.

I had messed up. Big time. So now I had to do my best to fix it.

With that thought in mind, I stood up. This time I had no difficulty in getting to my hooves. It was time to finally get the hell out of here. I was tired, and Las Pegasus was killing me, bit by bit. Well no more, I thought. It’s time for me to finally break out of this.

I trotted over to my purple saddlebags in the corner of the room, using my wings to pick them up and put them on. Satisfied that the bags were secure, I proceeded to pack anything I’d want to take with me: My two photos, my red ball, the letter (I winced a little as I picked it up) my collection of adventure books and…

And nothing. I had never truly realised how little I owned. Or, at least, how much of that stuff seemed important enough to take with me. I finished off by putting on my goggles and scarf, and grabbing my rifle from next to the door, hooking it onto my side. I briefly considered leaving the gun behind. I didn’t really need it, but I figured that leaving it behind was probably a lot worse. I didn’t want some random pony getting hold of an actual firearm—they could cause some serious damage.

I turned back towards the room, taking in all of its details. I looked at the old, torn-apart couch with its coffee stains. The empty bottles of cider and Wild Pegasus whiskey scattered all over the room. The now-empty bookshelf, the small kitchenette with dirty plates piled in the sink. I looked at my bed, the midnight-blue sheets having enclosed me in warmth when there was nothing but cold. I looked at the dresser, an orange pegasus mare staring back at me from its cracked mirror.

This was it. I always thought that leaving would be a blessing, but now that I was finally following through, I realised just how much I would miss this place. Yes, my life here had been dark, but it had been my life. This had been my home. Just as I was about to leave, I remembered something.

Quickly trotting towards the mirror, I moved it aside to reveal a wall of names: Moonshine, Silk Stream, Pencil Craft, Mimic Shift… every pony to have ever lived here had carved their name into the wall. Picking up a knife from the table, I carved my own to join the others. When I was done, I put the mirror back and walked out the door, closing it behind me. I didn’t bother taking the keys—I wasn’t coming back.

* * *

“What the hell do you mean, I can’t go home!?” I yelled angrily at Slate, who stared back with infuriating calmness. Celestia, I could have killed him.

“I mean exactly what I said, kid. We’re gettin’ a lot of shipments comin’ in right now, and I can’t spare anypony. So how ‘bout you just get on back to your section and toss that ball, eh?” he replied, grinning. I could tell he thought he’d won. He knew I needed the money to live: this was my only source of income, so I couldn’t logically walk out, nopony with any iota of intelligence would.

Unfortunately for Slate, I am not a smart pony.

“I quit then,” I said, relishing in the look of pure confusion on Slate’s face. That expression swiftly turned into one of rage.

“What do you mean, you quit!? You can’t fucking quit!” he shouted, stomping his hoof. Yesterday I would have been utterly terrified right now, but not today. I would not back down from this oaf of a buck. Around us, I could see a crowd of my ex-coworkers forming, I spotted Daisy among them. We had shared a few shifts during my first year, and had been fast friends. We hadn’t talked as much recently, but as I stood before Slate she gave me a small smile as if to say ‘Good one.’

“I mean exactly what I said,” I replied, glaring into Slate’s eyes—well, his shades, but still. “I. Quit.” Each word was said as slowly and deliberately as possible. Slate would not stop me from getting back home. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle needed me right now, and there was nothing which was going to stop me getting to them, Las Pegasus be damned.

Slate stared at me, his expression caught between one of insane rage and utter astonishment, as if he had never expected someone to talk to him this way. From what I knew of him, he probably hadn’t.

After a few moments of staring, he turned away. He glanced back at me, opening his mouth, then closing it. He did this a couple more times, before finally responding, “Fine. Get the fuck out of here.” I nodded, turning and walking away. Daisy stopped me as I walked by, giving me a quick hug.

“You remember to write, okay?” she said. “It’s been too long since we properly talked, and we probably won’t see each other again for a while.”

I smiled at the yellow earth pony. “Yeah, I will. Promise. Maybe you’ll be able to stop by Ponyville after I’ve settled in?”

“You bet. Seeya Scoots, I’ll miss ya.” We hugged once more, and then I left. I had to admit, I was a little surprised that Slate hadn’t told me to ‘hurry the fuck up’ or anything. It didn’t make him any less of a bastard, but at least he had the decency to let me say goodbye. After ten long minutes of walking through well-memorised rows of crates, I found myself at the enormous gate once again.

This was it. As soon as I stepped through that doorway, I’d be leaving my life in Las Pegasus behind me. I gulped, and took a step forward. I was about to take another when I heard a voice call out from behind me. “Oh and Scootaloo?” I turned back around to see Slate. He tossed a revolver to me, which I caught deftly in my mouth. I looked between it and him questioningly. He merely flashed a grin, before saying “Good luck” and strolling away.

* * *

I walked through the streets of Las Pegasus with my head held high. I had done it. I was free. The rain—my constant companion since moving here—seemed to lessen up a bit, and the sun seemed to shine a little brighter. I could have sworn I could see a rainbow, but I wasn’t sure.

The tall buildings of Las Pegasus towered above me, but for once they did not loom. As I walked, I spotted a florist nearby. Without thinking too much about it, I trotted over and bought a bouquet of dark, crimson roses. Carefully, I placed the lower end of the bouquet in my saddlebags, so the flowers would not be crushed.

I didn’t run, for I had no need. The train station was a good twenty or so minutes away, and It wouldn’t leave until eleven, so I still had about an hour to get there. I took my time, occasionally waving at any random pony. Most of them simply looked at me in confusion before continuing on their way. Some even muttered insults at me. But a few, that oh-so-special few actually smiled and waved back.

Not everypony is like Slate, I thought with a small smile. I was still unsure as to why he had given me that revolver, but I’d think about that later. Maybe on the train.

As I walked, I was forced to remember that the city itself wasn’t really any better than it was yesterday, I could still see the darkness under its facade of shining lights. I could see a pony in a back-alley, injecting his body with some form of chem or stim or something. There was a unicorn retching his insides onto the streets outside a bar, and two pegasi were brawling along the sidewalk.

This city was poison. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop thinking that. Yes, there were a few ponies who made this place better, but the majority still seemed bad. This was where you went to hide your shame. It was a hive of one-night-stands and drug abuse, a place people of all races went to drown their grief and emerge anew.

I supposed that wasn’t really any different from what I had done. I had come here for that express purpose, to destroy what had happened, to reform. I was reminded of the time Princess Celestia had left her phoenix in Ponyville, how it had burst into flame, a beautiful bird rising from its ashes. In a way, I was just like that phoenix.

My eyes caught sight of a club—‘Stable’ it was called—and I thought back to the many nights I had spent there, getting as drunk as possible, smashing my mind against that wall of booze so that I could be born anew in the morning. This was where my mind had died, over and over again in an effort to finally be free of my past. It wasn’t a bad bar by any means, but it was not a place I would want to go again. I shook my head, turning my eyes back to the path ahead of me.

As I continued on my way, I noticed that across the street stood a grey-coated stallion, with an even darker grey mane. He was eyeing me strangely, so I cocked my head and walked over. He immediately looked awkward, as if he were trying to find a way to escape. Well, that’s not suspicious at all!

“Hey there pal, anything wrong?” I asked him as I approached. He turned towards me, and looked me up and down, as if he were trying to figure something out.

“‘Name’s Baritone, miss. I was just wonderin’ if you were okay?” he said at length. I immediately recognised his voice. This was the stallion from yesterday. The stallion who I had shouted at for no reason.

Do better. The words echoed in my mind. With some effort I smiled at the buck, nodding my head.

“Yeah. Yeah I am. Sorry about yesterday, Baritone. I’ve been kinda messy recently and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you,” I replied. Baritone smiled back at me and I felt my spirits lift. I was improving.

“Not a problem, miss. Life can be tough, but we all gotta keep soldiering on, right?” he said, standing a little straighter.

“Yeah, no kidding. Well, sorry to leave so soon, but I’ve got to go. It was nice talkin’ to ya Baritone.”

“Nice to talk to you as well. If you don’t mind me asking,” he persisted, “where are you goin’, miss?”

“Back home,” I replied, beginning to trot away. After a moment, I paused. “Oh and Baritone?”

“Yes, miss?”

“The name’s Scootaloo.”

* * *

My eyes scanned the darkened countryside as the train chugged along its path. I watched the trees and bushes passing me by. An hour earlier, I would have loved this—finally seeing the countryside again, even if it were only through a window. Hell, earlier I had been finally pulling myself out of the funk I’d been in for the past few months, funny how things change. As of right now I simply couldn’t feel happy. I still had that Celestia damned letter to remind me that hope is not a comfort I deserve. I stared, blank-faced, as that simple sentence kept replaying in my mind.

Apple Bloom was dying.

My mind kept repeating that sentence, all thoughts of anything else blocked out by that one notion. Apple Bloom, my friend, was dying. I didn’t know what to do, how to react. I mean, how could you? What was the appropriate response to finding out that somebody you had spent your entire childhood with was dying? Might already be dead? It was stupid!

I pushed the darker thoughts aside. I’d have to cross that bridge when I came to it, but I’d hold on to hope. Apple Bloom couldn’t be dead, could she? No, as soon as I got back we’d go to Berry Punch’s and have some Wild Pegasus. We’d sit back and talk about our latest adventures, just like in the good old days.

Only… we wouldn’t, would we?

“Stupid damn letter…” I muttered angrily. After getting a ticket and sitting down, I had reached into my saddlebags to look at that revolver Slate had given me. Of course, as I took it out, I had caught sight of the letter again.

It was all I could do not to cry. Celestia damn it, I hate this! I have to be strong, I can’t let this beat me. And I wouldn’t; I was going to fix my mistakes and nothing was going to damn stop me! Sucking in a deep breath, I cleared my head. After a few moments of deep breathing, I looked back at the revolver laying on my table. I had paid for a private cart, so I didn’t have to worry about some mare or stallion screaming about a mad gunmare on the train.

The weapon was long, the barrel extending out for at least three inches. The handle was set into its side, giving the gun an impressive looking mouth-grip. It looked as though it could fold and twist into various positions for different grips. In the centre of this sat the trigger, which appeared to be designed to be pulled via the tongue. I admit, I found this very strange. Wouldn’t it be really hard to pull a trigger with your tongue? Not to mention tiring.

I shrugged and went back to examining the gun, accepting that I knew next to nothing about how guns worked anyway, so how could I judge? The revolver itself was black with a gold trim, and sported intricate carvings all over it. On the side of it was a black crescent moon, on top of a golden, eight-pointed sun. Further up the handle was the name ‘Little Nightingale’ which had been engraved in gold.

On closer inspection, I could see lines of purple etched all over the weapon, forming a plethora of entwined symbols. It was beautiful. Despite myself, I felt a small smile work its way across my face. I felt an affinity with the gun; I had no idea why, but it just felt right in my hooves. Like it belonged there. Carefully, almost reverently, I folded up the handle and placed the gun back in my saddlebags. Immediately, my mind turned to the obvious question.

Why did Slate give me this? I asked myself in confusion. From the looks of things, he’d have been more likely to kill me then give me something. I thought back to our argument. How he had shouted at me, how I had stood my ground before the enormous earth pony. How he had been so taken aback by the fact that I wasn’t cowering. Maybe… maybe I had earned his respect?

Yes. That was it. Slate had been so used to everyone doing exactly what he said, backing down when he so much as glanced at them, that he had never really thought of anyone as an equal. To him, everyone was weak and cowardly. But when somepony finally stood up to him, he was able to speak to someone as something of an equal.

Maybe… maybe all this time the reason he’s been so annoying was to try and get me angry. To make me stand up to him so that he wouldn’t be so alone. My mind went back to something Rainbow Dash had once told me.

“Y’know squirt, it gets lonely at the top. Yeah, I’m an awesome flyer, and lots of people love me for it. But there's nobody there to really speak to as an equal. Everyone’s just falling head-over-hooves to get in your good books, without really looking at you as a pony. That’s why I always wanted to join the Wonderbolts, so that there’d be others who could fly with me.”

I was certain that Slate had felt the same thing. Suddenly, I didn’t hate him as much. Yeah he’d been a pain, there was no doubt about that. But at heart, I bet he was an alright guy, a guy who just wanted a friend or two.

Sweet breath of Luna, I missed my friends. My mind shot back to them. What would I say when I finally saw them again? Would they recognise me? Would I recognise them? Would they still like me?

I began to conjure more and more questions, without having answered a single one. Soon enough, I was panicking, interrupted only by a jolt as the train stopped moving. I was thrown forward by the sudden stop, landing headfirst on the chair opposite me.

I stood up with a groan, punctuated by a high-pitched whistle.

“Yeah, I get it!” I yelled at nopony in particular. I was here. I was home. With a gulp, I put my saddlebags back on and trotted to the door of my train-cart. The wooden plank stood before me, silently judging me. Are you strong enough? Are you brave enough? I could just turn back and nobody would judge me. Sweetie didn’t even know if I had received the letter.

Do better.

You’ve got to try and do better.

I gritted my teeth. I would do better. I would not fail. I owed them as much as I owed myself. My friends deserved better than a coward who couldn’t even face them anymore. I had to be strong, just like Rainbow was. I took a deep breath, calming my nerves. I put one hoof forward, opened the door and stepped into Ponyville.

Author's Note

Welp, and here we go. Proof that I have not given up on this. There was a semi-subtle reference to a well-known fanfic in this chapter, first person to get it recieves a virtual muffin! Also, Thanks to Cerulean Voice for his stellar help with editing. Anyways, check it out! Plot exposition, character developement and PLOT DEVICES! Stuff is happening, and I kinda like it.

~DeepShift

Chapter 3: Reunion

Perception

~~~

“It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness.”

~~~

Chapter 3: Reunion

A cold breeze of wind washed over my face as I stepped out of the train and onto the platform. The floor was cold and wooden. Further down the platform, I could see ponies getting on and off the train. I looked around, trying to find my bearings and finally realised what was making my mane itch. Something felt off, but I couldn’t quite tell what. Then I noticed it.

Ponyville had changed. It was no longer the simple, rural town of my childhood. Now, it wasn’t bad per se, but it was different. Street lamps were all over the place, their electrical light sending a warm amber glow across the night-time streets. I could see examples of Equestria’s rising technology all over the place, but none of it was so overt that they looked out of place. In fact, it looked as though somepony had gone to extreme efforts to make sure the additions looked natural.

I took a few more steps forward, bringing myself fully away from the train. A high-pitched whistle sounded, and the train began to depart, puffing smoke as it moved. I turned my attention back to my surroundings, finally realising just how cold it was. A quick glance at a nearby tree confirmed my theory: It was snowing. I wondered how I had forgotten that it was nearly November.

Shivering slightly, I began walking in a random direction. It had been years since I was last here, and I honestly had no idea where anything was, or where I should be trying to go. I guess town square would be a start. Too bad I have no damn clue where it is, I thought. With no better idea, I walked in the direction I hoped it would be.

After a few minutes, I realised that I was totally lost. I looked upwards, pleading for the moon to give me direction. Oddly, I got the distinct feeling that it was laughing at me. Stupid space things, with their stupid glowy-ness, and… and… and their stupidness! I thought angrily, cursing all that wouldn’t show me where to get a cup of coffee. I stood there, continuing to think more and more obscene thoughts, until I felt light contact on my nose. Of course, when this happened I did the only sane thing one could do.

I yelped, ran backwards and tripped over a bin, sending myself flopping onto the street.

I coughed and sputtered, flailing in the ankle-deep snow. This continued for a few moments before I noticed something. Somepony was laughing! I immediately stopped my flailing, pushing myself into a sitting position to glare at a striking orange unicorn mare with a bright, fiery mane. She was rolling on the ground, pointing and laughing. At length she stopped laughing and grinned at me, wiping a tear from her deep green eyes.

“Oh man! That was just incredible,” she said in an energetic, somewhat scratchy voice. A voice I recognized very well.

“F-Firelock?! Is that you?” I asked incredulously, still struggling to my hooves. The guffawing mare stopped for a moment, before flashing a grin and striking a pose which looked like it could have been on some ‘Join the Equestrian Military today!’ poster. She stood on her hind legs, her forelegs posed as if ready to gallop into a non-existent sunset.

“In the flesh!” Firelock replied with an even wider grin. Her heroic pose was made somewhat less impressive by the bright pink earmuffs and purple scarf she wore, but the blowing wind did make it look a little bit like a cape, which admittedly was pretty cool. I slowly stood up, not taking my eyes off the unicorn. My mind was reeling. Firelock! She had been one of my best friends when we were younger, one of the ponies I had abandoned, yet there she stood as if nothing had happened. I was so overwhelmed with emotion that I did the only thing I could think of.

I tackled her to the ground and gave her a nice, big hug. She responded with something which sounded a little bit like ‘Gerrof, Scootaroo! Yer crushin’ meh!’ At that moment I couldn’t have cared less, I was just happy to have a friend again. I simply sat there, laughing madly. In the end, Firelock joined me, and we both just lay there in the snow without a care in the world.

At length I sat back up, wiping tears of laughter from my eyes. I glanced sideways at Firelock who was still grinning madly. She gave me a quick nudge with her shoulder, before gesturing to a nearby cafe. I smiled and nodded, still not entirely able to use words. Together, we walked inside and grabbed a table. There were a few other ponies in attendance, but none who I particularly recognised.

The cafe itself was… homely. It had an inviting, open fire with a decorated mantlepiece, as well as several comfy chairs set in each of the corners surrounding coffee tables. This was obviously a place where friends got together to talk and relax after a long week of work. The walls were painted a soft yellow; I was reminded of Daisy’s coat. The entire place just gave off a sense of warmth and happiness.

Celestia, it feels good to be home.

We sat down on one of the couches near the fire, letting it warm our tired and cold bones. A small, brown buck came by and we ordered some coffee. He nodded after taking our orders and trotted off. I gave Firelock a nudge, turning my head towards her as I asked, “So, what were you doing out at this time of night?”

She smirked. “I could ask you the same question.” I stuck my tongue out at her, the universal symbol for ‘Screw you, you go first.’ Firelock seemed to be well versed in stubbornese as she simply chuckled before continuing.

“Well, I figured after everything that’s happened recently, I needed some fresh air. Alula hasn’t been able to stop crying, I think she wanted some time alone with her thoughts so I went for a walk.”

I scratched my head. Everything that’s happened? Does she mean Apple Bloom? I thought in confusion. I had assumed that she’d just gotten really sick or something, but was it worse than that? And what was that about Alula? I decided to push the more pressing matters to the back of my mind, asking the less worrying question first.

“Alula? Wasn’t she that Alicorn filly who was always making sandcastles?” I asked, thinking back to my days in school. I remembered Alula as being a very quiet filly, she hadn’t really ever talked to anyone except Firelock, Sweetie Belle and another foal—Bee Bop. She had seemed to have a fascination with castles and structures, spending hours just making bigger and more impressive fortresses out of sand. I could have sworn that she had created Canterlot palace!

I remembered talking to her one time. When I asked her what it was like being a pegacorn, she became really evasive and awkward. I learned later on that she was extremely self conscious about her wings, because all the other foals ended up likening her to a princess. The way she acted, one would’ve thought she was scared that Celestia would eat her for treason, or something!

A dumb grin spread across Firelock’s face as she closed her eyes and sighed, “Yeah, remember that quiet filly I always hung out with? Her. We’ve been dating for seven years now. We’ve had our little squabbles, but I think we’re gonna make it.” I smiled at Firelock. It was nice to know that she had found love, she deserved it.

Besides, it provided the perfect opportunity for a little teasing.

“I never knew you were into mares, Lockie!” I said in what I hoped was a sultry tone. I lowered my eyelids and leaned forwards, waiting until our muzzles were only a few centimetres away, before continuing, “Who knows, maybe I could show you a thing or two?” Firelock worked her mouth, her eyes bulging out of their sockets as she tried to formulate a response. She was blushing madly and I burst out laughing, falling back into my seat.

Firelock glared at me, still blushing. I simply flashed a grin at her. She shook her head, before picking up the newly-presented coffee and drinking from it deeply. It was funny watching her try and cover up the blush. After a few moments, Firelock had managed to get the redness under enough control to look at me again. “Anyway, where have you been Scoots? I haven’t seen you in years!”

I visibly winced at that and looked away. There it was, the dragon in the room. The question which we had both been thinking, but I had been desperately hoping to avoid. I sighed. Firelock deserves an explanation, or at least something! I thought in frustration. I looked back up at her, she had a worried look etched upon her face.

“You okay, Scoots?” she asked. I smiled back at her. No point in being all depressing now, was there?

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just… stuff,” I said vaguely, lightly waving my hoof in the air. “I’ve been, ah, living in Las Pegasus. It’s… it’s complicated.” She nodded at me. She understood, and for that I was eternally grateful. She gave me a hug, whispering in my ear.

“That’s okay, but I’ll expect a proper answer sooner or later.” I nodded in response, hugging her closer. Firelock was a good pony, she deserved that much. I took a moment to gather my thoughts; there was the obviously pressing question, but I wasn’t quite sure I was ready to ask her yet. Luckily, Firelock was already prepared to dispel any awkwardness.

“So what’ve you been up to in Las Pegasus?” she asked, taking another sip of her coffee.

“Oh, well I’ve been working as a guard for this warehouse. Wasn’t really fun or rewarding, but it got me paid.” I replied with a shrug. “What about you?”

“Me? Well, you my friend are looking at the up-and-coming captain of the Equestrian Guard!” Firelock said with a proud grin. “I’ve been training as a pyromancer for a couple of years. Luckily for me, my posting is actually here in Ponyville. You wouldn’t believe how hard it is to get assigned here, we lose more guards to the Everfree Forest here than ponies on the long patrol.”

I couldn’t help but let out a little gasp. “Seriously? Aren’t the long patrol meant to be like, dragon-hunters or something?” Firelock nodded. “How can you lose more ponies to the forest than to dragons!?” I asked incredulously. That makes no sense!

“Well, Everfree seems to have gotten more violent recently. Manticores and other creatures have gotten far more aggressive—just last week, one attacked Carrot Top’s barn. Luckily, I’d been around at the time and was able to send it back.” I let out a low whistle.

“Damn Firelock, you must be pretty proud.” Her grin grew even wider at that.

“Yeah, it’s dangerous work, but I’ve gotta say that it feels good to help out ponies. I guess you could say that I take after my dad,” she chuckled. Firelock’s father had served with the Guard back when we were fillies, and I couldn’t imagine him having resigned yet. It had bugged Firelock that her dad was never around, but the two had always had a good relationship, regardless.

We spent the next hour or so talking about guard work, Firelock with her epic battles against manticores and me with the occasional drunk brawl outside the Warehouse. Unfortunately, we could only go so long before things came to the inevitable question.

“So Scoots, what brought you back? You don’t have to tell me why you left, but I’d like to know what made you decide to come home.” I winced again, but this time I was somewhat more ready for it. I undid the latch of my saddlebags and pulled out the letter from Sweetie Belle, dropping it on the table in front of my friend. “Oh…” she said at length.

“Yeah. Do you know anything about it?” Now it was Firelock’s turn to wince. “Come on Fire, please?” She looked away for a few more moments, as if trying to gather her thoughts, before turning back towards me.

“There was… there was an attack. Y’know how Apple Bloom is head of a tech company?” I didn’t, but I motioned for her to carry on. “Well, during this speech of hers, she was… she was shot, Scoots. It’s a wonder she’s survived this long, but I don’t think she’s got much longer.” My heart skipped a beat. What!?

“When… when did this happen?” I asked in a shaky voice, my mind reeling.

“It was… two days ago now. Sorry, but I don’t really know many of the details. All I know is that we’ve been scrambling to find the guy who did it ever since. My boss probably knows more.” I felt a sudden burst of utter rage towards the unknown attacker. “Maybe… maybe Sweetie would be better help right now? I know you three were really close back in school.” I nodded. Yeah, we were.

“That’d be good, yeah. Could you lead the way?” I asked, still unable to really think correctly. Firelock nodded, dropping a few bits on the table before walking out the door, me following close behind.

* * *

About fifteen minutes later, we were walking towards the town square. We had made a few attempts at conversation, but it seemed that right now our minds were not really in it. We trotted along in near silence, accompanied by the occasional hoot of an owl. I glanced across at Firelock who had a thoughtful look on her face. Deciding not to disturb her, I busied myself with looking at the sky. I had never really appreciated it when I was in Las Pegasus, but Luna’s night really was beautiful. The stars looked down upon us, like thousands of fireflies. The snowing had let up a bit, leaving Ponyville covered in a majestic blanket of white.

“Hey Scoots? We’re here,” Firelock said from my side. I brought my gaze back down to look at the building before us. It wasn’t big, it was actually quite small, but it had an aura of warmth and cosiness. The thatched roof and wooden walls fitted in with the general aesthetic of Ponyville—except for the lavender door, which stood out a little from the more widespread magenta.

I was suddenly hit by a wave of fear. This is it! I’m going to see Sweetie Belle! What the hell am I going to do? Just walk up and say ‘’Hey buddy, how’s it going?’ I began to panic, this was stupid! I hadn’t seen Sweetie in years, I hadn’t even bothered talking to her. I had just run away, abandoning her and all my other friends. Why should she even talk to me? She was probably just going to shut the door in my face.

I stood there, my mind tearing itself apart in worry. I probably would have stayed there too, frozen in fear until the cold killed me. If Firelock hadn’t been there that is. She gave me a little nudge, smiling comfortingly. I gave a weak smile of my own back, sucking in a deep breath before taking a step.

And another.

And another.

And another.

Before I knew it, I was standing at the door, one hoof hesitantly raised. Could I do this? I looked at Firelock, who simply nodded at me. Her presence made things far easier, and with a little effort I knocked on the door once. Twice. Three times. I took a step back and danced on my hooves a little. After a few moments I grinned at Firelock.

“Hey maybe she’s not in? Oh well that’s too bad come on let’s g—” My sentence was cut off by the sound of a latch being moved out the way and the door opening. Before I knew it, I was face-to-face with one of the greatest friends I had ever had.

Sweetie Belle stood before me, her luxurious white coat glowing from candlelight. Her long, purple and pink mane seemed to shine with a mysterious glow, and I could see her deep, forest green eyes widen in surprise as she saw me. Quick think of something to say! I mentally yelled at myself. Something smart! Funny! Witty! Tell her you’re sorry! Tell her you missed her! Say something! Anything!

“Hey,” I muttered weakly, flashing a stupid grin.

Idiot.

“S-Scootaloo?” Sweetie Belle asked in shock. “Is that really you?” I nodded, my smile becoming a little more sincere.

“Yeah, yeah it is.” The unicorn mare stared at me, looking caught between laughing, crying and screaming all at once. Firelock gently reached forwards and nudged her, and she seemed to break out of her reverie.

“W-Would you two like to come in?” she asked.

“Nah, I’ve gotta get back to ‘Lula, but I’ll come by tomorrow if that’s okay?” Firelock replied, gesturing in the direction I assumed she must live. Sweetie Belle nodded in response to that and began to walk inside. I was about to follow when Firelock caught me and gave me one more hug. “Good luck, Scoots. I’ll see you tomorrow okay?”

“Yeah. Thanks, Firelock.”

“Not a problem, featherbrain. Seeya ‘round.” With that, Firelock was gone into the night. I gazed back at the house, steadied my breathing, and walked inside.

* * *

Sweetie’s house was warm, something which I really appreciated. I sat on a comfortable, blue couch in her living room, where a fire gently crackled. The walls were a shade of white-ish green—Ivory, I believe—and on a table nearby was a book, entitled Strife. The entire house had an inviting feel to it.

I waited for Sweetie to return, for she had gone into the kitchen to fetch some drinks. I guessed she probably just needed some time to think. I know I would if I showed up at my door after having been gone for years. Though in that case it would probably be more of a case of ‘Oh sweet Luna there is a clone of me at my door what the heck’ than a case of ‘Should I kick this awful pony out or not?’

My thoughts on the implications of cloning and how one would deal with multiple Scootaloo’s wrecking the country was interrupted by a plod as somepony sat next to me. I turned to see a nervous Sweetie Belle passing me a mug of hot chocolate. I smiled gratefully at her, taking the drink in my hooves. The mug felt very warm and soothing, just what I needed.

We sat there awkwardly, stealing small glances at each other and dancing around the subject which we both knew had to be said. In the end, it became too much.

“So, is Apple Bloom really dying?” I asked. Sweetie yelped, nearly dropping her mug. She looked at me with tears in her eyes. Ouch. If I hadn’t already, I would have sat down hard. “It’s really happening, huh?” Sweetie nodded. Of course Firelock had already told me, but somehow It never really hit me ‘til I saw that look in Sweetie’s eyes. Before now, I could have pretended that this was all some sick joke or something, but that pain couldn’t possibly be fake.

The world was silent for a moment, nothing moving, not a single sound being made. I broke that with a resounding shout. “Fuck!” Sweetie appeared taken aback, but I couldn’t help myself. “Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!” I repeated that word like a damned mantra, venting my anger and hatred and frustration in the only way I could without hurting anypony. “Why? Fucking why!?”

I could feel tears brimming in my eyes. This was so stupid! It had been years since I had seen Sweetie Belle and this was what she saw? Suddenly I felt hooves around me, and I turned to see Sweetie hugging me tightly. That was it, too much, game over. I broke down crying in her hooves—crying for every, single, fucking moment I had spent away from my friends.

I don’t know how long I stayed like that, but eventually the tears stopped coming. I just remained there, sniffling like an idiot.

“I’m sorry, Sweetie…” I whispered, mentally kicking myself again and again for being so fucking pathetic. She hushed me, hugging me tighter.

“It’s okay, Scootaloo. It’s okay,” she said, nuzzling me.

“But it’s not, is it? I abandoned you all, and now here I am, and Apple Bloom’s dying and I just… I just… I don’t know what to fucking do!” I shouted, slamming my hoof into the nearby table. I could feel more tears coming, but I didn’t let any get through. I was not going to break down like that again.

Sweetie Belle didn’t really seem to have an answer to that, so I just sat there. My mind kept repeating what I had been told. This was all too much, too fast. I was tired, I was angry; at that moment, all I wanted to do was crawl into a hole and never come out. I could feel Sweetie’s erratic heartbeat against my own, and was moved to hug her back.

We lay there for Luna knows how long, and I was pretty certain I dozed off at some point. Right now, this was what I needed. I needed Sweetie’s hooves around me, I needed her to tell me it was okay. I felt fragile, like anything could break me at any moment. I felt a hoof running through my mane, and I looked up into the green eyes of my childhood friend.

“D- Do you think I could see her?” Sweetie smiled a little at that.

“Yeah. Yeah, I think that would be okay. But, could we stay like this for a little longer?”

“Why?” I asked with a hint of confusion. While I did find Sweetie excessively comfortable, I didn’t really think that now was a good time to have a hug-fest.

“I just… It’s been too long Scoots. I want to make sure you’re real and this isn’t some stupid dream where I finally get my best friend back.” I gave my own small little smile back, leaning forwards and kissing her just below the horn. I could accept that, I was lucky she was even letting me inside her house, let alone talking to me. The least I could do was offer some care in return, right?

“I can accept that,” I said as the white unicorn blushed furiously. Goddesses, I missed that. With a small sigh I pulled her closer, wrapping my wings around the mare. She proceeded to nuzzle her head into the space between my shoulder blade and neck. I let out a sigh of contentment. Despite all the other crap going on, I would still have Sweetie Belle with me, and for that I was eternally grateful. I felt like I might actually be able to buck up and do better, as long as I had my friend by my side.

“I missed you Scoots,” whispered Sweetie. I closed my eyes, feeling a lethargy overtake me as I relaxed.

“I missed you too.”

Author's Note

Well here we go, this chapter went through a lot of rewrites but I'm pretty happy with how it turned out. This one was a little lighter than the previous ones, but don't worry, sad stuff is coming next! Also, it's worth noting that chapter 2 has been rewritten as well. :twilightsmile:

EDIT: Thanks to Pendrake72 for pointing out the problem with the formatting.

~DeepShift

Chapter 4: Shadows

Perception

~~~

“The brightest flame casts the darkest shadow.”

~~~

Chapter 4: Shadows

Darkness. Darkness surrounded me. I couldn’t see or hear anything, I was alone in the darkness. I opened my mouth, trying to call out to Sweetie or Firelock but nothing came out. I was scared. Where the hell was everypony? Where was I? My heart began to thud in my chest… or at least, it should have. But it didn’t. I realised with horror that my heart wasn’t beating at all.

My fear began to rise as I realised my body was doing nothing. I wasn’t breathing. It wasn’t that I was drowning or choking or anything. I simply couldn’t breathe. I was cold. The type of cold which can only be reached by a corpse. I raised a hoof, feeling a moment of relief that I could at least move before terror set in again. Frantically, I looked around, desperate to find something in the darkness, something to tell me I wasn’t dead.

And why shouldn’t you be?

I stopped in my tracks. Slowly I turned around to see… Nothing. There was nothing there, but I’d been sure that I had heard a voice.

Why do you deserve to live where others die? What makes you so special?

This time I was certain of it, I had heard someone—or something?—talking! I whirled around, trying to find the source of that sneering, evil voice.

Nothing. That’s what: Absolutely nothing.

My heart should have been throbbing, pounding in my chest. All I found was that awful stillness, as if something had torn out my soul.

You are pathetic. You failed the Wonderbolts; you failed your friends; you even failed your destiny.

I felt tears begin to blur my vision as I twirled around again and again, trying to find the source of my misery.

But most of all, you failed me.

I turned once more, and there she was. Snarling, scarred face. Eyes narrowed in anger. My breath caught in my throat.

You, Scootaloo. You are nothing, whispered Rainbow Dash.

* * *

I woke up screaming, tears in my eyes. What the heck was that all about? My heart was throbbing—thankfully—and I was hyperventilating. That had been… awful. And the worst part, the worst part was that it was true. I had failed them all; I was pathetic; I was nothing.

“Scootaloo? Scootaloo, are you okay?” asked a sweet voice from above me as somepony’s hoof stroked my mane, immediately cutting off my self-depreciating line of thought. I looked up to see Sweetie Belle watching me, a frown upon her face. I realised that we were still on the sofa—I must have fallen asleep next to her.

“Y-yeah. Yeah, I’ll be fine,” I stammered, still shaken by the dream. Sweetie Belle’s frown persisted.

“Are you sure? You know I’m here for you, right?” I was suddenly overcome by affection for the unicorn mare. No matter how much shit I had put her through, she still genuinely cared. Sweetie Belle really is a good pony. Without thinking, I pulled her closer and kissed her on the brow.

“Thanks, Sweetie. It means a lot.”

The white mare blushed furiously, and began to babble a little bit. “O- oh it’s fine, ‘cause we are friends and friends watch out for each other and it’s quite warm isn’t it? Shall I go open a window? That sounds good doesn't it? how abou—”

I cut her off with another hug. She was still blushing furiously, and seemed to lock up a little, but eventually she relaxed. We sat there for a while, just enjoying each other’s presence, but as much as I wanted to, I couldn’t stay there for long. There were things I had to do. I glanced at her.

“Sweetie, do you know what time it is?”

“Hm? Oh yes, let me check…” Sweetie replied, seemingly lost in a world of her own. She slowly disentangled herself from my limbs and stood up.

I looked around, we were still on the sofa in the living room. The fire had burned out, but the coals still glowed weakly with warmth. “It’s around eleven in the morning,” Sweetie called from the kitchen.

I got up and stretched my legs, wincing with each pop, and gave a quick, shake of my head to dispel any of my lingering dark thoughts. Now was not the time.

“When does the hospital open for visitors?” I called back as I walked into the kitchen after Sweetie Belle. The room had light blue walls, and a tiled white floor. There was an oven just next to the doorway, and a microwave in the corner. Further towards the back of the room was a door and window which lead to the garden. Sweetie was rummaging through a cupboard next to the fridge, pulling out item after item with her magic before shaking her head and putting it back in.

“One o’clock, twelve for family members. Sorry, but we won’t be able to go visit her for a little while.”

I frowned. “Couldn’t I just sneak in or something?”

Sweetie turned around and looked at me, one eyebrow raised. The expression seemed to just ooze a single word: Seriously?

“Okay, maybe not. But still, can’t I get in any earlier?”

“Sorry, Scoots, not even Applejack can get in early. The only reason Big Macintosh can stay is because they couldn’t move him if they tried.”

I gave a tired chuckle—that sounded like Big Mac alright. I’d often found myself wondering what he’d ended up doing. He was always so nice to us when we were fillies. I smiled as I remembered the ‘Love Poison’ incident. Normally I wasn’t one for romance, but I had ended up getting wrapped in Sweetie Belle’s excitement at the prospect of finding Cheerilee a date.

I remembered him telling me one time when Rainbow had stopped by to visit Applejack that he had always wanted to go and join the guard, or become a detective or something like that. He said that what he really wanted to do was protect ponies. When I asked him why he didn’t he replied simply with ‘My family needs me here. ‘Aint nothin’ else to it. So long as Applejack needs help with the farm then I’m here to stay.’

It looked like he really had never left. Probably because he was a good pony. a loyal, trustworthy pony. Unlike me…

Pans clattered, snapping me back to reality. Sweetie Belle was trying to stuff them back into the cupboard, without much success. I grabbed one and slotted it back into place before it could fall. “Need a hoof?”

Sweetie nodded, her cheeks turning red. “I uh, may have lost my concentration when I was taking them out,” she said awkwardly.

“So what are you looking for?” I asked as we continued cleaning up the mess.

“Oh, I thought I’d make us some pancakes!” Sweetie Belle declared happily, raising a box of pancake mix with her magic. I winced, remembering the last time I had seen Sweetie Belle cook. The fires had been… unnatural. The food which had eventually come out the oven looked more like a glob of purple mulch than a ‘pancake.’

Sweetie Belle let out an exasperated sigh. “Oh come on, Scoots, I’ve gotten better since Edgar!”

“You named it?”

Sweetie Belle simply shrugged at that, but she continued staring at me with a pleading look in her eyes which made my heart melt.

I’m so going to regret this.

“Okay fine, you win. But if it crawls out of the oven of its own volition trying to eat me then I’m going to shoot it.” I paused. “A lot.” Sweetie didn’t seem to care, she simply pranced over to the stove and began turning dials, levitating pans and ingredients all around her like a halo. A second later, the pan erupted in flames, but rather than screaming and panicking Sweetie simply levitated a fire extinguisher and blasted the pan with white foam. The fire extinguisher joined her halo, and she pulled out another pan as if nothing had happened.

This is going to be fun.

* * *

About thirty minutes later I was munching on some barely-burnt, only-sorta-purple-looking pancakes. Sweetie Belle sat opposite me, smiling proudly at the sight of her work. Sure, it had cost twenty-two pans their lives, but still, progress.

“Mm, it’s good,” I said around a mouthful, making her smile widen. I finished the last chunk and let out a small belch. “Sorry.”

Sweetie giggled. “Not a problem. So, what do you want to do? We still have around an hour to go.”

I pondered the question for a moment. What could I do? I mean, I had a few ideas for some things I needed to do eventually, but I didn’t want to deal with any of that just yet. Maybe…

“Hey, do you think Firelock will be up at this hour?” I asked.

“Probably. She likes getting up early so that she can see the sun rise. Not really sure why. Do you want to visit?”

“Yeah, I’d like to properly meet this Alula too. From what Firelock’s said she’s the most wonderful mare this side of the grey mountains.”

For some reason, Sweetie Belle seemed a little put out at that last comment, I couldn’t imagine why. She got over it a second later, though.

“Sounds good. You grab your stuff, I’ll be with you in a moment,” Sweetie said, before trotting out the room and upstairs. I stood up, walked back into the living room, and glanced at my saddlebags which sat in the corner of the room. After a moment of consideration, I carried on past them. I wouldn’t really need anything from them right now.

I heard a crash from upstairs accompanied with a muffled ‘Damn it!’ Worried, I walked up the stairs, going to the door it had originated from. I raised a hoof to knock, but found myself holding back as I heard Sweetie Belle talk.

“...you need to put it behind you, Sweetie! You never had a chance back then and you won’t now, just give up. Scoots needs you as a friend now, not as anything else. And seriously, what was that? Alula is your friend! She didn’t even mean anything by what she said!” I shrunk back, ashamed at myself for listening in on my friend. But also curious: What did she mean ‘as anything else?’ Am I still hurting her? And what was that about Alula? I groaned. Why couldn’t life be simple?

“Scoots, is that you?” called a voice from the other side of the door. My heart skipped a beat.

“Um… yeah. I heard something crash, and I wanted to see if you were okay,” I replied.

“Oh, yes. Alright, I’m fine. I’ll be down in a minute. Just hold on.” As she said that I heard something being righted and a few muttered curses. I found myself growing more worried, Sweetie seemed to be really upset. Should I ask her about this?

After a few moments of consideration, I decided against it. If Sweetie wanted my help with whatever was upsetting her, she’d ask. I walked back downstairs and sat down. A minute later, Sweetie trotted down and joined me. Sweetie had apparently got over whatever had been bothering her, as I could see no signs of anger. She was wearing a purple and pink striped scarf, and a purple beanie. Little tufts of her curled mane stuck out from under it and I had to admit she looked utterly adorable.

“Ready?” I asked, tightening my own brown scarf.

“Ready.” She nodded.

Together we stepped outside.

* * *

A little later we stood outside Firelock and Alula’s house. It looked a lot like Sweetie’s except it was bigger. The house sat near the edge of town, and was only about twenty minutes from the Everfree Forest. I was happy to see a warm light coming from the windows; it looked like they really were awake.

We walked up the porch and Sweetie knocked on the door. Muffled voices talked for a few seconds, before the door was opened and we were greeted by a small, sand-coloured mare. She had a long, bouncy mane that hung over one side of her face. The most notable thing about her however, were her wings and horn. I had already known Alula was a Alicorn, but it was still a little surprising.

Alula smiled at us with calm blue eyes. There was something more though, they were bloodshot and tired. My mind flashed back to the previous night in the cafe. “Alula hasn’t been able to stop crying.” I really hoped that she was feeling better and wasn’t just putting on a face for the guests. “Hello, Sweetie Belle. Hello, Scootaloo. It’s been a long time hasn’t it?” she said. Her accent reminded me of Rarity’s but her voice was softer and less dramatic

“Uh, heh, yeah it has,” I replied, trying to avoid staring at her horn.

“Would you two like to come inside? It’s freezing out there.” I nodded my thanks and she walked back inside, me and Sweetie in tow. We walked down a hallway, closing the door behind us and took a left into the living room where Firelock sat cleaning a steel helmet. She looked up and, seeing us, grinned.

“Hey, you two! Feeling any better?” she asked as Alula walked over and sat down next to her.

I nodded in response. “Yeah, I am.”

“Yes. Thank you for bringing Scootaloo over, Firelock.”

“Not a problem. So, what’re you doing here this early in the morning?”

I thought about that for a moment. Saying that we were here to kill time before visiting Apple Bloom felt inappropriate.

“I guess I just wanted to talk to you, besides I was curious about this Alula mare you were gushing over.” I was rewarded with a deep blush from both Alula and Firelock. Sweetie chuckled as she sat down on the sofa opposite the couple, she had removed her scarf and hat and placed them on a rack near the door.

“Want me to get yours?” she asked, gesturing towards my own scarf. I hastily shook my head.

“No thanks. I feel better with it on me.” She seemed to accept that, and turned her attention back to our friends. I took a seat next to Sweetie, relaxing into the comfortable sofa. “So when did you two get together? It must have been some time after I left right?”

“Yes, we’ve been together for seven years now,” Alula replied, recovering from her embarrassment enough to talk. A small evil smile crept across her muzzle. “You should have seen Firelock in the weeks coming up to asking me. She was all over the place, stumbling over words, constantly blushing…”

Firelock promptly cut her off with a quick kiss. Now it was Alula’s turn to blush. “And you should have seen Alula when I did ask,” Firelock grinned. I laughed at the two. Just by looking at them I could see the love which tied them together. The way Alula wrapped her wing around Firelock, the way they glanced at each other every few seconds. I wasn’t really one for romance, but even I had to admit that it was adorable.

“So what about you two? When did you get together?” Alula asked smiling conspiratorially at us.

Firelock coughed a little at that, and my mind drew up a blank as Sweetie Belle stuttered.

“W-I don’t. I mean I couldn’t... We’ve only just... You don’t see... It’s not like that!” Sweetie managed.

Alula looked a little confused at that. “Really? I could have sworn…but you two make such a good couple!” She seemed disappointed to say the least.

“...Anyway, let’s steer this conversation into safer ground, shall we?” Firelock offered, Sweetie said nothing, and Alula just muttered something about ‘sinking ships.’ That left only me. I shrugged and nodded.

“So, Scootaloo. I forgot to ask this yesterday, but do you have anywhere to stay or work?” I mentally slapped myself.

“Damn, no I don’t. I guess I didn’t really think that far ahead.”

Alula immediately looked up, glancing between me and Sweetie. I raised an eyebrow but Firelock simply laughed. Sweetie stared at the Alicorn, and Alula sighed. She began to exaggeratedly mouth words at Sweetie which I could make absolutely no sense of. “Does this happen often?” I asked.

“More than you’d think,” Firelock replied.

Aluka gave an exasperated sigh, standing up and walking over to Sweetie. She whispered something in her ear, and Sweetie’s eyes immediately lit up in understanding.

“Oh! Scootaloo, if you wanted you could sleep with me,” Sweetie suggested.

Firelock burst out laughing, and Sweetie’s eyes widened. I raised my eyebrow again. “No, not like that! I meant in my bed—house! House!” Sweetie sputtered. Alula groaned, shaking her head and mumbling something about a ‘lost cause’ as she walked back over to Firelock. My mind wrestled with itself, thinking of all the ways I could tease Sweetie over this but eventually decided against it.

“That’d be awesome, actually. Thanks, Sweetie,” I said to the brightly-blushing mare. She nodded a little, still keeping her face hidden. “Well, that sorts out where I’ll stay, but any ideas on where I could get a job?” I asked the others. Alula seemed to think about that for a second before brightening with an idea.

“Well, my sister is the head of the weather team. I could see if she can get you a job?”

I found myself dumbstruck. I had abandoned Sweetie Belle, and Alula barely knew me yet they were really doing their best to help me out. I blinked a few tears away and walked over to hug Alula.

“Thanks, Alula. Firelock was right, you are a great pony.” Alula blushed but hugged me back. Then I hugged a somewhat annoyed-looking Sweetie Belle who locked up at the contact.

I glanced at the nearby clock. It was nearly twelve-thirty. “We’ll have to be going soon, I need to visit Apple Bloom.” The mood of the room immediately felt darker. Firelock, just like her namesake, brightened it right back up.

“This was really good, maybe we should get together again? I hear this new club opened recently.” Damn, I had missed Firelock and her ever-burning passion for life. When I had been miserable as a foal, she’d just jump straight in and bring me running along with her on some crazy adventure. It felt great to have her back.

“I’d like that. When are you all free?” I asked, looking around at the others who all seemed to be perking up a little at the prospect.

“Me and Firelock should be free on Wednesday next week. Sweetie?” Alula said. Sweetie nodded in response, moving her hoof away from her muzzle which was still faintly red.

“Yeah, that works for me.” I grinned.

“Perfect. Then we’ll all get together next week?” Firelock asked.

“Yes, that sounds wonderful. Oh, and Sweetie Belle?” Alula pitched in. Sweetie glanced up as Alula straightened and looked directly at her. “Don’t wait too long to tell her.” Sweetie began to fidget uncomfortably, but gave an awkward nod. Alula seemed appeased and smiled again. What the heck was that about? Tell who what? I mentally shrugged and filed it away to ask later.

“Anyway, we better get moving. Thanks for having us you two, and Firelock?” I said as I stood up, glancing at the orange unicorn.

“Yeah?”

“This one?” I gestured at Alula, then leaned in and whispered conspiratorially. “She’s a keeper.”

* * *

We walked through the snow in silence. I could tell that Sweetie was thinking smart-pony things and I didn’t want to disturb her. We’d been walking for awhile and the good mood from earlier had dissipated as we got closer and closer to our destination.The hospital wasn’t too far away, about ten minutes tops. After a few moments, Sweetie asked in a small voice:

“Scootaloo, why did you leave?”

I nearly tripped over, only just managing to keep myself from falling. The question had caught me completely off guard.

“Sorry…” Sweetie added. Despite myself, a small smile crept onto my face. Sweetie Belle, always thinking of others.

“It’s okay, Sweetie, it just… took me by surprise, you know?” She just gave a weak nod. Oh, this is bad. “Well, it’s just… I...” My mind clutched at half-baked responses. I had no idea what to say. “I don’t really think I can talk about it yet, Sweetie. I’m sorry.” Goddesses, I felt terrible. I show up after all these years and I can’t even give her a straight answer?

“A-Alright. But you will tell me, right?” she stammered, a hurt look on her face. My heart felt like a dagger had cut through it. I wanted to do anything—anything!—to make her stop feeling so hurt. The one thing I couldn’t do was, the one thing which would help, so I settled with a simple response.

“Yeah, I promise. Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” I replied. And I would, just not now. Sweetie seemed to accept that, so we walked onwards. Within minutes, Ponyville Hospital loomed in the distance. I got the distinct feeling that it was judging me. Holding my head high, I trotted a little faster.

Apple Bloom was waiting.

* * *

We walked through the doors of the hospital into the lobby. Everything in it was varying shades of green: the walls were ivory, the desk turquoise, all of it—Green. I supposed this was supposed to make you feel safer or something, but all I felt was sick.

A white mare with a red mane sat there, reading a newspaper. I cleared my throat and she looked up at us, a grim look crossing her face as she noticed Sweetie.

“You here for Miss Bloom?” she asked in a sympathetic voice. We nodded. “It’s down the hall, upstairs, take a left, room 4-E.” We gave our thanks and trotted off. It didn’t take long to reach our destination.

Room 4-E.

It wasn’t any different from the rest of the doors in the hallway, save for the ‘E’. But this door held behind it somepony I knew, somepony I cared about. I looked at Sweetie Belle, who gave me a small nudge. Well, here we go.

This is it.

“Geronimo…” I muttered, as I pushed open the door.

* * *

The room was surprisingly spacious. It had ivory walls, just like everywhere else in the place. The floor was turquoise and tiled, and I could see a couple windows with their curtains closed around the room. In the centre was a bed. Next to the bed was a small white table, with a lamp and a copy of the picture I had in my saddlebags—The one with the three young mares.

The three friends.

The three Crusaders.

I was sent back to the many days I had spent in one of these rooms, thanks to a broken wing or leg. One time, I had even succeeded in splitting my head open. I could almost pretend that I was a filly again, and all that was wrong in the world was a missing cutie mark and a day where I couldn’t be out with my friends or Rainbow Dash.

Only I knew it was a lie.

Next to the bed sat a large red stallion, and a smaller but no less powerful looking orange mare—Big Macintosh and Applejack. But I paid no attention to them, everything else was ignored as I caught sight of Apple Bloom laying on the bed.

Oh Luna, fuck me with the moon.

She lay deathly still on the bed, pale as the snow outside.There was a deep scar running across the left side of her muzzle, accompanied by a blood-soaked bandage wrapped around her barrel. For a moment I thought she was dead, then I noticed the shallow crest and fall of her chest.

Apple Bloom slowly opened one eye, then the other. A weak smile spread across her scarred face. “Hey there, featherbrain. How’re ya?” she asked, without a care in the world. The two ponies who sat beside her looked up at me. Big Macintosh gave me a tired smile, but the other one, Applejack, gave me a glare that could turn manticores. I felt hate oozing off her very being.

“Not too bad, AB. Did ya miss me?” I replied, my voice cracking a little. She chuckled, a violent cough robbing it of the mirth it was meant to represent. I felt a bit of horror in my heart as I saw blood on the earth pony’s lips.

“More than ya know,” she said after she had managed to stabilize. I could see tears brimming in her orange eyes. They looked faded, resigned. Sweet Celestia, she knows that she’s going to die.

“Apple Bloom, what… what happened? Who did this to you?”

That was it. Applejack stood up and began to advance on me, her eyes bottomless pits of rage. “You would know that if you didn’t go and fuckin’ run off like ya did! Do ya have any idea how bad you hurt these two? Huh!?” she hissed with quiet rage, sweeping a hoof to gesture at Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle. She focused on me again, her eyes boring pits in my soul. Every single word she spoke felt like a blow to the heart.

“An’ now you come back expectin’ everything to be all fine an’ dandy? What do ya want, forgiveness? Well let me tell you somethin’ you bloody varmint, I—”

“That’s enough, Applejack!” rumbled Big Macintosh. That stopped Applejack in her tracks. She looked back at her brother then at her upset sister, her gaze softening a little. “That’s enough,” he said again.

“Can you two give me some time alone with my friends?” Apple Bloom asked. Applejack stood there for a few more moments, before swiftly turning around and marching out the door. She made sure to shove me as hard as possible as she passed by. Big Mac followed, stopping to apologise before leaving and closing the door behind them.

“Apple Bloom, I’m… I’m so sorry I wasn’t here,” I began. “If I’d just stayed then I would have been able to stop—”

Apple Bloom merely hushed me. “No, let’s not talk about that right now.” She was still smiling. Goddesses, how could she still be smiling? “All I wanna do is spend some time with my friends. Just like in the good old days, right?”

I nodded, sitting down next to my friend. And so we did; Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom and I sat there, sharing stories of the past few years. We talked about how Sweetie had moved to Manehattan for a while, attempting to make her way as a singer, but had moved back to Ponyville. We talked of Apple Bloom’s work with Bloom-Tech and how she had been developing some kind of flight suit, which would theoretically allow pegasi to fly faster and harder!

We talked of the good times and the bad. We talked of some of my early adventures with Daisy back in Las Pegasus, we talked of Firelock and Alula, and how Apple Bloom personally thought that Firelock was going to “pop the question” soon. But most importantly of all, we talked. For a little while, we weren’t in a hospital. We were back in the clubhouse, just three friends happily sharing our lives.

But nothing ever lasts—a racking cough from Apple Bloom reminded us of that. I felt tears in my eyes as I watched one of my best friends inch closer to death before my eyes. It was all I could do not to cry.

“Hey, hey remember…” Another cough, a few more flecks of blood. “Remember back when we were fillies, and we did that school talent show?” She chuckled, a small smile making its way across her face. “And, do ya remember that song?”

I nodded slowly “Y-Yeah?”

Apple Bloom lay back, getting more comfortable as her heart rate monitor began to slow. “I want to sing it.” She closed her eyes, letting out a deep breath before singing in a raspy, hoarse voice.

“When you're a younger pony,and your flank is very bare.
Feels like the sun will never come,when your cutie mark's not there.

She coughed, more blood trickling from her lips. Apple Bloom gazed at me, her orange eyes pleading. “Go on, Scoots. Please.” How could I say no?

“So the three of us will f-fight the fight,” I began, shakily. “There is nothing that we fear.
We'll have to figure out what we'll do next, ’til our cutie marks appear.”

Then Sweetie Belle joined in, the three of us singing together:

“We are the cutie mark crusaders, on a quest to find out who we are.
And we will never stop the journey, not until we have our cutie marks.”

Apple Bloom smiled as she lay back, closing her eyes.

“We are the cutie mark crusaders, soaring up high in the sky.
And we will always have each other, never stopping ’til the day we…”

I let out a strangled sob

“...die.”

Apple Bloom settled back down, her heart rate slowed but—thank Celestia—didn’t stop.

“Thanks you two. I’m gonna take a nap now, thanks for comin’ back, Scoots. Oh and sorry for Applejack, she’s been… volatile.” I nodded, leaning in to hug my friend. As I was about to pull back she whispered in my ear. “Oh, and Scoots? Take care of Sweetie, she’s been missin’ you a heck of a lot, if you catch my meanin’.” I leaned back, and looked at her in confusion. She chuckled and added. “Ah always knew you were oblivious but really? Don’t worry, you’ll figure it out. Just hold onto each other, ‘kay?”

I looked across at Sweetie Belle, smiling at the beautiful mare. “That won’t be a problem AB. Talk to you soon okay?”

“You bet.”

“Do you want us to send the others back in?” Sweetie asked, Apple Bloom nodded, closing her eyes.

With that, I walked over to Sweetie Belle and gave her a little nudge. She stood up with me and together we walked over to the door. Outside sat Big Macintosh, who explained that Applejack had left to ‘cool off’ for a bit. I made sure to thank him for standing up for me earlier.

“‘Aint no trouble, Scoots. You’re a good pony ya know, just one who made some bad choices.” He was right about the second part, at least. I couldn’t even begin to count the amount of times I had fucked up. “And thanks for comin’ back. Apple Bloom’s been talkin’ about how much she wanted to see ya’ll before she… before she went to sleep. She needed this.” I gave a weak smile to the stallion as he stood up and walked back into the room.

“Goodnight, Apple Bloom,” I whispered to my friend. Then I closed the door, for what would be both the first, and the last time.

Author's Note

EDIT: I've been getting loads of comments about Alicorns and Pegacorns (My intention was to use 'pegacorn' to show that Alula is not a god-level Alicorn thing like Luna/Celestia) So I've changed it to 'Alicorn,' and will simply leave this note here: Alicorn Headcanon
Thanks Fluffomaru for having such a similar headcanon. :rainbowlaugh:

Welp, this chapter was pretty fun to write, though I had some difficulty with the Apples' dialogue. I couldn't decide whether or not to write it like 'Mah' or 'My'. In the end I decided that I preferred how it looked if I didn't phonetically type out their speech. Firelock and Alula are also a great pair to write, even if I'm probably going to get some downvotes for Alula's species :twilightsheepish:

Oh well! Anyway, expect the next chapter pretty soon. I'd also like to say a huge thank you to my main editors, Scramblers and Shadows, and Cerulean Voice who have been working their tails off to get through this story and make it what you see before you. Perception would be nowhere near as good without their help, and I really appreciate it.

Thanks for sticking with me this far everyone. See ya'll next chapter.

~DeepShift

Chapter 5: Stars

Perception

~~~

“It is under the light of stars that we are at our purest.”

~~~

Chapter 5: Stars

It was already dark when we left the hospital, around seven if the receptionist was to be trusted. I played with the idea of going to a bar with Sweetie, but I wasn’t really in the mood for drinking. It had been great seeing Apple Bloom again, but we both knew how bad she was. It tore me up inside, but after seeing her condition I was frankly amazed she had lasted this long.

If I find the bastard that did this to her…

I shook my head. Apple Bloom wouldn’t want me thinking like that, not right now. It wasn’t right. I glanced across at Sweetie Belle. If anything she looked even more shaken up than I felt. This week must have been nothing but emotional blows for her. She was staring at the sky; it looked almost like she was searching for something.

I thought back to when we were fillies. When me and Sweetie Belle had been having a sleep-over. I woke up in the middle of the night after a particularly bad nightmare, and noticed Sweetie sitting at her window, looking up at the stars.

“Whatcha doin’?” I asked her, walking over and sitting down next to the mare.

“Looking for my star,” she replied, gesturing towards the vast sea of lights. I cocked my head, staring at the sky.

“Which one is it?” Sweetie shuffled a little closer to me, pointing a hoof at a cluster of stars.

“You see that one over there? The really bright one?” I looked to where she was pointing, my eyes settling on a single, beautiful light. It shone far brighter than any of the others, and seemed to glow with a slightly pink tint. “That’s the one. It’s called ‘Rana.’” I stared at the light, amazed.

“It’s awesome,” I said at length. Sweetie grinned at that, moving me slightly and gesturing at another star nearby.

“It’s part of a big group of stars called ‘Eridanus.’ If you look over there, you can see it’s friends ‘Acamar’ and ‘Zaurak.’” I looked in the direction she pointed and noticed two even brighterstars; one glowed with a green tint and the other with an orange. I frowned.

“So why is Rana your favourite?” I asked. The other two were—in my opinion—prettier. Sweetie smiled at that, pointing back at Rana.

“Because even if it’s not as obvious as the other two, it’s got this subdued beauty which the other two don’t. It’s strong and bright, but represses its greatness for some reason. Even then, it can’t hide it all.” She looked at me again, still smiling. “It reminds me of you.”

That had been a turning point for me and Sweetie. We’d started stargazing together more often, it had brought us closer together. She’d told me that as far as she was concerned,I was the brightest star in the sky, but I just couldn’t see it myself. I still didn't really understand what she meant, but that wasn’t important. That memory had given me an idea.

“Hey, Sweetie?” I asked quietly. She jumped a little and looked at me with sad, tired eyes.

“Yes, Scootaloo?”

“There’s something I’d like to show you,” I said.

She gave a confused look at that, but eventually nodded.

“Um, okay, If you want. But why?” I gave my own little smile at that.

“Can’t say, but first I have to ask you, do you trust me?” She paused for a moment, but nodded. I exhaled a sigh of relief and slowly, carefully, unfolded my wings. Am I ready for this? I asked myself, glancing at them. I hadn’t actually flown in years, not since the wonderbolts…

No, not thinking about that right now. I had screwed up, but right now Sweetie needed something and I couldn’t effectively give it to her if I was grounded. I shook myself. I’ll deal with this later. It was time to take a step into the future.

With that, I flapped my wings once, twice, thrice, and then I was in the air. I did a quick loop as the wind rushed through my mane; even though I had avoided flying for the past few years, I had still done the necessary exercises to keep them in shape. It had been a routine, something constant in my world. I felt a rush in my heart as I realised what I was doing.

I was actually flying!

I didn’t care about anything else at that moment, because for the first time in years I was off the ground. I let out a whoop as I shot back down and grabbed Sweetie Belle in my hooves. She yelped, her eyes widening in fear as she realised what was happening.

“Scootaloo! What are you doing!?”

I just laughed in exhilaration as I shot off towards the Everfree forest.

“I don’t know, I haven’t flown in years! isn’t it great!?” I shouted back. I relished the feel of the wind blowing through my feathers, the burn in my muscles as I flapped, the cold air brushing against my face. And most of all, the view. All the world was open before me, a canvas of thatched-roof houses and hills. A long line of trees stood further away, my destination.

Sweetie Belle suddenly stopped her struggling.

“Wow…” she breathed. I could feel her head shifting underneath me as she looked all around her. “It’s… It’s beautiful, Scoots.”

I grinned in response.

“That’s not the best part, Sweetie. Hold on!” With that, I put on an extra burst of speed. We shot towards the Everfree forest, slowing as we neared the border. I leaned to the left slightly, tracing the path I had travelled many times in my youth. We descended slowly, stopping when we were close enough to the treetops for Sweetie to reach out with a rear leg and brush her hoof against the leaves.

I banked as I finally saw what I was looking for: a gap in the canopy of green, almost impossible to see if you weren’t looking for it. I flew up, gripping Sweetie tighter, then I shot downwards. We smoothly flew through the gap, coming into a hidden clearing. I pulled myself into a tight loop to bleed off momentum, before coming to a stop over a lake. I flapped over to the bank and carefully set Sweetie down.

She stumbled as her hooves touched the ground, collapsing on the soft soil. I rushed to her side, worried she might be hurt but she just smiled at me.She began to laugh. I sat down next to her, cocking my head in confusion. Suddenly, she leapt forward and hugged me.

“Scootaloo! That was amazing!” she gushed. “I mean, at first I was terrified and thought I was going to die.” She paused, pulling back and looking me in the eyes. “But I knew that even if I did fall, you’d be there to catch me.” I felt a heat rise in my cheeks as she said that. “I saw what you wanted, Scootaloo. It’s beautiful.” For some reason I felt like there was more she wanted to say, but I didn’t press. Instead, I grinned at her and pulled back a bit.

“That’s not all. Look at this!” I flew up again, pulling back a branch and hooking it behind another as I had done so many times in the past. Sweetie gasped as I revealed the sky as she had never seen it before. I flew back down and sat next to her, gazing up at the swirl of colours. There was something special about this place; outside of the Everfree, all you would see here is sky. Yet when you came here and really looked, you would be rewarded with a swirl of shifting and moving colours.

Back when I was younger, Rainbow and I would come here all the time. It was our safe place to talk, practice and do whatever we wanted without other ponies judging. It was our Sanctuary. Aside from me and my big sister, only Twilight Sparkle knew about it. Rainbow had often come here with her. She said that aside from me, Twilight was the only pony she trusted enough to reveal the spot to. I’d liked Twilight: she was always nice to me and had helped me with quite a bit of school work. Besides, Rainbow liked her, and that was good enough for me.

“Scootaloo, this is… It’s…” Sweetie Belle stumbled over her words. I smiled at the mare, pulling her closer.

“I know Sweetie. It’s really something huh?” I felt tears blurring my vision a little. This place contained so many memories, it was hard to keep my emotions in check. Sweetie looked across at me, tears in her own eyes. She’d always loved the sky.

“What’s it called?”

“Twilight said that it was called an ‘Aurorae,’” I replied, turning back to watch the sky. Sweetie seemed appeased with that. I don’t know how long we spent just watching the colours dancing in the night sky, but after awhile, Sweetie turned back to me with another question.

“Scoots, what is this place?”

I turned back to her, wiping away some of the tears.

“This… this is my sanctuary. I haven’t been here in years. It’s where me and Rainbow used to hang out. Sometimes Twilight came with us… damn I missed it,” I replied. Sweetie shifted a little closer, looking somewhat unsure of herself. I wrapped a wing around her, relishing in the contact. It reminded me that I wasn’t alone.

“Thank you for bringing me here. I know this place must mean a lot to you,” she said.

I nodded. “Yeah, it does. I was just thinking about that time you told me about Eridanus and thought you might like it here.”

Sweetie’s eyes widened. “Y- you remember that? Even after all these years?”

I chuckled. “Of course I do. It was the first time we ever really hung out alone since we formed the CMC. Why wouldn’t it?” She leaned in closer, hugging me again.

“I love it when you’re oblivious, Scootaloo,” she said. A blush formed in her cheeks, but she didn’t seem to care. I smiled, leaning into her hug. “Hey, Scoots, what’s that?” she asked, gesturing towards a black, stone structure standing in the centre of the lake. I slowly stood up, Sweetie standing with me.

“That? It’s Obelisk.” Sweetie raised an eyebrow, I shrugged. “Me and Rainbow never really figured out what it was for, and when Twilight came and started calling it an ‘Obelisk’ the name stuck.” An idea hit me. “Wanna take a look?”

Sweetie’s eyes lit up, and I laughed. Apparently so. I flapped my wings again, ignoring the voice in my head that told me I was breaking my vow. This was good for her, she needed something to take her mind off all this. Once in the air, I picked Sweetie up and we flew towards the small island which sat in the centre of the lake. In the middle of that, stood Obelisk.

Moss grew over the entire structure, making it look impossibly old. It was tall, three metres at least. All around it were curved arcs of stone which orbited Obelisk, supported by other beams of stone. At its head was a large, midnight blue gem. Around it was a large square of stone tiles.

Sweetie yelped as I set her down. Apparently she’d been in a little world of her own. I landed next to her as she recovered. When she trotted forward to inspect the structure, she traced a hoof across its edges, examining the tower in great detail. I found myself thinking back to the many days I had spent here with Twilight and Rainbow, listening to the two theorise about what it could be. Rainbow had developed a keen interest in strange and mysterious objects, especially ones which looked as cool as Obelisk did.

We’d eventually come to the decision that it was either A: some form of ritual stone, B: a memorial for some ancient hero or C: the entrance to a vast underground city. The third option had been Rainbow’s idea, and whilst being incredibly awesome, was rather unlikely. I glanced at Sweetie, who was busy scrubbing away some moss from one of the tiles on the floor.

“What are you doing?” I asked her. She paused in her work to look up at me. There was a strange look in her eyes, one of curiosity. Suddenly, I saw a part of Sweetie which I had never seen before. She was positively buzzing, looking as if a thousand ideas had hit her at once, it reminded me of Twilight and Rainbow when they really got talking.

“Look! There’s something written underneath here,” she said whilst pointing towards a large ‘M’ carved into the stone. I cocked my head; we had never noticed that in the past. Either way, this was actually pretty big. It might have even explained what Obelisk was! I joined Sweetie in scrubbing away the moss and soon we had removed it all.

“Mephistis,” I read. I glanced across at Sweetie Belle, who shrugged in response. Well, it’s something. “I guess it’s a memorial or something then?”

“Must be.” She looked caught up in thought for a moment, before eventually turning her attention back to me. “What did you mean when you said ‘I haven’t flown in years?’”

Shit.

“I uh… well…” I sighed. Screw it, she deserves to know. “Promise not to hate me, okay?” Her eyes widened, apparently she hadn’t been expecting this response.

“Hate you? Why would I hate you?”

“Because I fucked up, Sweetie. I fucked up big time, and because of it I abandoned you all for five years.” She seemed taken aback at the comment, looking like she wanted to argue but slowly nodded and sat down across from me. I took in a deep breath and began:

“You remember back when I was trying to join the Wonderbolts? It was… about six years ago now.” Sweetie nodded. “Well, after a couple months I actually managed to get into the academy. Things were going well for the first few months, I was near the top of the leaderboard. Then things… started going less well.

“It was during a flight session; Spitfire was talking about the academy records and soon we got onto those held by Lightning Dust and Rainbow Dash. Lightning and Rainbow had been an unstoppable team, ya know? After that incident with the hurricane Rainbow had risked her ass to get Spitfire to keep Dust on. When she agreed, she did so on the condition that she always be within visibility of Rainbow. After that, the two became friends again and started cracking records like there was no tomorrow.

“Anyway, I’m getting off topic. Some asshole—Blazing Steam or something—started mouthing off about Rainbow and how she betrayed Equestria, running off like she did. He started calling her names, saying that he’d heard about how she… how she whored herself out.” I had to stop for a moment, my anger rising at the memory. “I don’t know why he said any of it, I didn’t really much care at the time. All I know is that I got angry, really angry. I told him to back off, but then he started going for me as well. I ignored him for a bit, but eventually I just couldn’t stand there and take it anymore.

“I attacked him, Sweetie,” I said, looking up at the white mare. “I smashed into him into him. Hurt his wing real bad, but that’s not the worst part. I… I didn’t mean to, but I ended up pushing him straight off the cloud. He couldn’t fly back up because of how I hurt his wing. He hit the ground, it shattered his legs, cracked a few ribs. As far as I know he hasn’t walked since.” I saw the brief flash of horror on her face, salt on the wound at this point. I looked back down at my hooves, tearing up slightly. “After that, I was kicked out the academy. I vowed never to fly again, and I haven’t until today.” I sighed, glancing back at my friend. “I’ve been drifting ever since.”

We sat there for a while, the silence only broken by the occasional hoot of an owl. Eventually I felt a pair of soft hooves embrace me. That was too much. I started crying, babbling like a newborn foal. I was pathetic.

“It’s okay, Scootaloo. It’s okay,” Sweetie whispered as she stroked my mane.

“Okay? Okay?! Are you kidding me, Sweetie? I nearly fucking killed somepony!” Couldn’t she see that I was a screw-up? Couldn’t she accept that all I would do was bring pain to everypony around me? I didn’t want to hurt her anymore! I didn’t want to hurt anyone! I just wanted to… to…

I wanted to stop being alone.

I threw my hooves around Sweetie, sobbing into her shoulder. I poured out my regret, my anger, all of it. She just sat there, holding me, soothing me. Eventually, the sobbing died down and I could look her in the eyes again.

“I-I’m sorry Sweetie, it’s just… I just…”

Sweetie just hushed me, holding me closer. “It’s fine, Scootaloo. You made mistakes, but you regret them. It’s okay. You’re a good pony, Scoots—a good pony.” Despite myself, I smiled a little. I knew at that moment that I could trust Sweetie with anything. I knew that no matter what, she would always be there for me.

We settled down next to Obelisk, holding each other. I was still a monster, there was nothing I could do about that. But maybe, just maybe, I could work past it. Soon I felt my lack of sleep finally begin to hit me. The last couple of days had been absolutely exhausting. My eyelids grew heavy and I turned my head slightly to look at the pony curled up next to me.

I felt an unfamiliar feeling stir in my gut as I watched her. That wonderful, funny, cute pony who had been friends with me ever since we were fillies. The pony who had helped me come out of my shell when we were foals.The pony who got me to finally talk to Rainbow Dash properly. The pony who accepted me, no matter how bad I messed up. The pony who was always there for me…

I pulled Sweetie a little closer as I finally went to sleep. I couldn’t have fallen into better hooves.

Author's Note

Short chapter today! Now we finally know how Scoots ended up in Las Pegasus, so that's one question answered. This was a pretty interesting chapter to write, as it was a bit of a deviation from what I've been doing so far. We also have some hints of romance blooming! Now I can finally earn that tag.

Anyway, next chapter things really start heating up, I hope you guys 'n' gals are ready for the endgame, 'cause it's coming.

And remember everybody, under starlight we are all equal and true.

~DeepShift

Chapter 7: Crisis

Perception

~~~

“It is in times of crisis where we take a step back and examine ourselves as a whole, both the good and the bad. It is then up to us to use that information to decide not who we were, but who we are going to be.”

~~~

Chapter 7: Crisis

As I struggled to turn, I lashed out with my hooves to try and block the flurry of attacks. My hoof connected with something, and I heard a hiss of pain. Before I could do anything else I felt the sharp steel of a blade cut through the flesh above my shoulder blade, and I screamed. I had never felt such pain in my life, not even when I broke my wing. The knife sliced into my body, splattering blood across my muzzle.

I bucked as hard as I could, and heard a grunt of pain. My victory lasted little longer than a second before I was picked up and bodily thrown by strong talons. The world seemed to slow as I flew through the air, and I managed to catch a glimpse of a grey and black figure standing near the table. Before I could examine him any closer, I collided with Rainbow Dash’s armour.

The jagged edges of the suit tore into me. The points of the armour bit into my chest. I heard an awful crack as something inside of me broke. My mind became flooded with incredible pain as I fell to the ground, the armour collapsing on top of me. My world was nothing but pain and blood.

I struggled to get up, but all I succeeded in was falling back to the ground, gasping for breath. Was this how it would end? Getting killed by some bastard in the home of one of the greatest ponies the world had ever known? It certainly looked like it. Guess I’ll be seeing you sooner than we thought, Apple Bloom…

“If you wish to live, I recommend that you answer my questions,” said a calm, venomous voice. Every word was well enunciated, and I had the feeling he’d done this before. Slowly, painfully, I turned to face him.

Before me stood my attacker. He was a griffon, but there was something… off about him. His green eyes watched me with a calculating stare. He didn’t blink, not once. His coat was a deep gunmetal grey and his feathers were black as coal. Around his eyes were patches of the same shade of grey as his coat. His talons and beak were the colour of bone. Feathers stuck up from behind his head, looking almost like horns. He wore a black jacket with a set of criss-crossing straps inside, which also appeared to hold a shitload of sheaths and holsters.

His expression was entirely neutral. I glared up at him, coughing blood.

“Who sent you?” he asked in that same venomous voice.

“F… fuck… you,” I managed to splutter through the pain in my chest and blood in my mouth. I could barely breathe—my rib was definitely cracked. Hell, I might have even punctured one of my lungs! Now wouldn’t that be poetic?

The griffon merely laughed at me. The sick fucker is enjoying this! Then, without warning, he reached forwards and slashed at my face with one of his talons. I held back a scream as he cut a deep scar along my right eye. I shut it, but that did little to stop the blood from pouring out of my face. I just had to hope that he hadn’t managed to cause any permanent damage.

“That wasn’t very polite, but I suppose that I was getting a little ahead of myself. I haven’t even told you my name yet, have I?” I merely glared at him with my one working eye. He laughed again, but this time he didn’t claw my other eye. He simply straightened his jacket and continued. “You can call me Eidolon. Now, what is your name and why are you here?”

I considered his question for a moment. Should I tell him anything? He was probably going to kill me either way. Damn I wish I didn’t leave my saddlebags, I could really use Little Nightingale right now. I shifted a little, and felt my hoof come into contact with something cold and sharp. I glanced down to see one of Rainbow’s hoofblades just next to my right leg. Thank Luna for small favours, I thought. Maybe I wouldn’t need the pistol after all. Now all I had to do was stall the bastard, maybe I could even get a few answers of my own.

“S-Scootaloo,” I managed through the bleeding in my gums. I let out a hacking cough, before offering my own question. “And why don’t… don’t you tell me w-why you’re here?” He seemed a little taken aback at my response, apparently he’d been expecting me to just give in. An hour ago I probably would have, but not now. I still had to apologise to Sweetie, tell Twilight what Rainbow had said, and I really had to attend Apple Bloom’s funeral. I owed her that much.

I began slowly working my hoof into the boot, I had to be careful otherwise he’d catch on to what I was doing. Luckily, he seemed to have already written me off as dead. I wasn’t a threat to him. Yeah, keep thinking that, you son of a bitch, I thought, hissing in pain as my broken rib shifted inside my body.

“Stop trying to deflect the question, mercenary. I saw you get off that train. I know what you are—not just anybody carries around a gun, especially not one like the pistol you had.” Wait, what? Mercenary? And he was watching me? Just who the heck was this guy? I decided to try and play along, I needed to keep Eidolon talking If I wanted any chance of getting out of there alive.

“Alright, but how do you know I’m not just some back-end warehouse guard? What makes you think I’m a merc?” I managed to say, before collapsing into another fit of coughs which conveniently covered my right foreleg as it continued to worm its way into the boot. I used my mouth to tighten one of the straps whilst my head was down. I was beginning to feel a little light headed from the blood loss; if Eidolon didn’t kill me now, the wounds he’d inflicted surely would.

Eidolon laughed again, a strange look entering his eyes. I realised that he really was enjoying this! Our back-and-forth was all a little game to him. I don’t think I’ve ever hated anyone as much as him right then.

“Because the guard around here have been searching for me for over four days. When they fail, what do you do? You hire a professional.” Wait, four days? My mind flashed back to the conversation I’d had with Firelock on my first night back.

“It was… two days ago now. Sorry, but I don’t really know many of the details. All I know is that we’ve been scrambling to find the guy who did it ever since...”

No… no it couldn’t be.

“And ever since you arrived, you’ve been talking to a lot of people related to the contract. Sweetie Belle—she was a dear friend of the target if I recall correctly. Firelock—she’s been a damned thorn in my side ever since this entire contract started. I’ve had to change hideout seven times thanks to her!” He seemed to lose his cool for a moment, his eyebrows knitting in frustration at the thought of my friend. I couldn’t care less, my mind began to flicker through everything I had seen since arriving at Rainbow’s.

The large sniper rifle leaned against the door…

The odd pistol on the dresser…

The griffon who seemed to have more than a little experience when it came to combat…

“And of course, Apple Bloom. You’ve even visited her. I doubt she had anything useful to say. You know I was certain that I’d have to go in and finish the job, she was one tough target. I suppose not though, everyone dies eventually. Now then, how about you answer me this: do your employers know where I am yet?”

My hooves began to shake. I struggled with the last strap of the hoofblade. I stared up at him, hatred pouring out of my soul.

“Y-you killed her… you killed Apple Bloom…” He seemed genuinely surprised at that comment. I heard a click as my hoof finally slotted into the weapon. I didn’t hesitate—with all of my strength I brought my foreleg up towards his face. “You fucking bastard!” I yelled as the blades sliced a deep wound in his face. They cut across his left eye, and I heard him scream in pain.

Eidolon staggered back with a talon over his bleeding eye. I saw red as I gazed upon the creature that murdered my best friend. I wanted to tear him apart, I wanted him to feel the pain Apple Bloom had felt. Adrenaline pumped through my body, pushing me past the pain. Then with a single, primal roar of hate, I pushed off the ground, my wings propelling me with incredible speed. I slammed straight into the Griffon’s chest, pushing him backwards.

We tumbled end-over end out the door. We landed just at the edge of Rainbow’s house—a metre more and we would have fallen straight off the edge of it and into the lake below. I didn’t care. I rained down blow after blow on the figure below me, slicing into his side with every strike of my right hoof.

Suddenly, he kicked with his back-legs. My eyes widened as I felt myself falling over the edge of Rainbow’s house. As I began to fall. I wrapped my forelegs around Eidolon’ neck, pulling him down with me.

Once again, time seemed to slow as we fell through the air. I tried to flap my wings, but with Eidolon on top of me I couldn’t get enough wingpower to fly. We traded blows, his talons tearing into my flesh as I beat on him with my hooves. We tumbled end over end for what seemed forever, before finally crashing into the cold, hard water.

I coughed and sputtered, having lost all sense of direction. I flailed in the water, my pain increasing ten-fold thanks to the water entering my open wounds. I didn’t care. I tried to flap my wings. I couldn’t let Eidolon get away! I wouldn’t let him! My lungs burned, I couldn’t breathe.

Just as I thought I would burst, I broke the surface and took several heavy gulps of air. The bank was nearby, and I began to swim towards it. Unfortunately, I wasn’t fast enough. I let out a scream as a sharp talon closed around my throat, dragging me to the bank. I looked up with hateful eyes at Eidolon, dripping wet and bleeding. His left eye was tightly shut, dark crimson crusted over it.

“You… are going to regret this,” he hissed through a cracked beak. His green eyes were no longer calm and calculating, they were angry. His grip on my throat tightened as he slowly raised his other talon. He closed it around my neck, then pulled back as if trying to figure out the best way to tear out my throat. I tried to say something, anything, but I simply couldn’t.

Suddenly, all my energy drained out of my body. I was tired, I was so very tired. I had never expected to die like this; I’d always imagined that it would be in some flying accident, then more recently as a result of my own misery finally getting the best of me.

I suppose it was poetic justice. I found myself thinking back to the nightmare I’d had. Why should you live when they die? Well, that’d be one problem solved at least. I found myself thinking back over all my mistakes; the Wonderbolts, Las Pegasus, all of it. Most importantly though, of Sweetie Belle, Alula, Firelock and Apple Bloom. I didn’t want to die, not now. I had so much left to do—I had to tell Twilight that Rainbow had loved her, I had to.. I had to…

I had to tell Sweetie Belle that I loved her, because I did. I did love her. I couldn’t bear to think about how much this would hurt her. She’d just lost a friend, she didn’t need to lose another. Now I’d never get the chance to fix my mistakes, and it was tearing me up more than the mistakes themselves had done.

Sorry, Apple Bloom. I tried to stop him. I tried to make sure that he wouldn’t hurt anypony ever again. Guess I wasn’t good enough. I hope you can forgive me, and I hope you’ll let me hang out with you again. I could use a friend.

My eyelids began to grow heavy as Eidolon tightened his grip. He clacked his talons together. I heard the faint sound of somebody calling in the distance, but I couldn’t tell who it was. My ears were roaring. My heart thumping, and my chest screaming.

I breathed out one more time, then closed my eyes. The last thing I saw was Eidolon’ head erupting in flames, and then everything went black.

Author's Note

Welp... that happened.

So, first time writing combat! It was pretty fun, but I had to work quite a bit on making my language less flowery for this one. Anyways, entering the home stretch guys, two more chapters and a few epilogues. I hate to say it, but due to the contest ending soon, I may have to upload the last batch of chapters before they can be edited. Oh well, let's hope they're good enough!

Oh, and say hello to Eidolon. This guy has got to be one of my favourite characters to write. Ever. Mysterious Griffon assassains for the win.

See you all next chapter.

~DeepShift

Chapter 8: Renewal

Perception

~~~

“Darkness dwells within even the best of us. It is not that the darkness is there, but what we do with that darkness that defines who we are.”

~~~

Chapter 8: Renewal

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

That was my constant companion in the cold blackness.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

If this was the afterlife, it left a lot to be desired. I was surrounded by darkness, but this time I was still breathing. There was no chilling nothingness—in fact, there wasn’t anything interesting here whatsoever. I could still feel a burning in my lungs, but it was bearable.

I didn’t know how long I’d been here, might’ve been minutes or weeks. I found myself reflecting upon my life again. Now I wasn’t drowning or choking, I found my mind much clearer. Funny how that works. I guess Twilight had been right when she told me ‘With death comes clarity.’ Or was that Rarity? Slate? Fuck, I couldn’t remember anymore.

I thought back to my early foalhood. Images of my mother and father flashed through my mind. My mother had been a strong pegasus mare, coat of deep charcoal and a messy purple mane. My father had been an earth pony, orange coated with a white mane. The most striking thing I remembered was their eyes. Not once in my life had I been able to recall them. But now...now I could really see. Mom’s eyes were golden; they reminded me of the sunset. Dad’s were a deep shade of violet, calm and contemplative.

I flashed forwards again: Now my mom was gone. My dad too. Mom had died out on some mission to Griffonia. My dad had gotten unlucky when raiding a drug den. Two shots, one to the head, the other to the leg. He’d never had a chance. I was sent to the Ponyville Orphanage, where I’d spend the next couple years of my life alone. That all changed when one day—while sitting in the yard—a little white unicorn filly came up to me to say ‘hi.’ I’d been hostile at first; nopony came to say ‘hi’ to the pegasus who couldn’t fly unless they wanted to crack a joke. But Sweetie Belle stuck through it, eventually breaking past my barriers.

That moment would change my life forever. We spent the next few weeks meeting up at that fence, until eventually the orphanage gave me the go-ahead to visit my friend. Her sister, Rarity, was a major investor in it and had specifically asked them to let me play with her little sister. I owe Rarity my life for that—too bad I’d never get the chance to tell her.

Pretty soon after, I ran into Rainbow Dash, the most awesome pegasus this side of the Gray Mountains. I believed in her. From then on, I devoted my life to impressing her. Later, I befriended Apple Bloom too, and was allowed to attend Miss Cheerilee’s school. Life was really looking up.

Eventually my efforts paid off: after a camping trip and a talk with none other than Princess Luna, Rainbow agreed to take me under her wing and teach me to fly. We spent every Wednesday and Thursday together, training and training as hard as we could. Within three months, I was flying! I’d never felt so alive. I even managed to get my cutie mark, just a few days after Sweetie Belle and a week before Apple Bloom.

Our friendship didn’t stop there, though: the three of us had forged bonds which would never be broken. We continued playing and hanging out, always managing to stir up some kind of trouble. I always thought that Ponyville would have been a far more boring place without us.

Things continued going strong for a good few years. My relationship with Rainbow continued to get better too. About six months after I first flew, Rainbow showed up at the orphanage. I asked her what was going on, to which she just smiled and said, “Pack your bags squirt. We’re going home.”I’d never been so happy in my life.

Nothing good ever lasts though. When I was seventeen, Rainbow left us. I still remembered that day clearly. She’d asked me to meet her at Sanctuary around five. I’d arrived to find her sitting next to Obelisk.

“Hey, Rainbow!” I called as I touched down next to my big sister. She looked up at me with a sad, almost mournful smile.

“Hey, Scoots,” she replied. I cocked my head to one side, Rainbow seemed… off. Something wasn’t right.

“You okay, sis?” I asked her, but she didn’t respond. Eventually, she motioned for me to come sit next to her. Now I was getting worried, this wasn’t like her. I sat next to her. She sighed and looked at me with the same sad smile.

“You know that I’m proud of you, right?”

“Well, yeah. Of course I do!” I replied. “Why?”

“I… I just wanted to make sure you knew.” We sat there for awhile, Rainbow deep in thought. I was beginning to get really concerned. What had happened? Rainbow was never like this. Where was the brash and confident pony I knew as my sister? “I’m gonna be going away for a bit.”

“What? Why?”

“It’s… it’s complicated. I just wanted you to know that no matter what, I really am proud of you okay? Nothing’s ever gonna change that.” I was so confused. Rainbow was leaving? Why? And the week before my Wonderbolts try-outs?

“Will you come back?” I asked her.

“Of course I will! Actually…” She removed her brown flight scarf. “How about you hold on to this for me until I get back?” My eyes widened as she passed it over to me.

“Are you sure? I mean, this was given to you by your mom and…”

“I’m sure. There’s nopony else I could trust to keep it safe.” I put the scarf on, wrapping it around my neck tightly. Rainbow’s smile became a little more genuine.

“Come here, you,” she said, pulling me into a hug. “Stay strong, my little phoenix, okay? And promise me that no matter what, you’ll always keep fighting. No matter what?”

“Okay, but do you promise that you’ll come back soon?”

“I promise.”

She never came back. She broke her promise. My big sister—the only family I’d ever really known—was gone. I waited for her. Every night after training I would go back to Sanctuary and wait for her. After a few months, I just gave up. I hadn’t been good enough for her, so she had left me. I began to retreat from my friends. I was too scared of being abandoned again to face them. Of course, now I knew different, the recording she had left told me that much, but back then all I could think about was how she must have never really loved me.

I stayed with Sweetie after that, I couldn’t go back home. It reminded me too much of what I had lost. I started pouring all my time and effort into flying, hoping against hope that someday Rainbow would see my name up in lights with the Wonderbolts and come back home to see me and tell me what a good job I’d done. It was a stupid dream, but it was all I had. When I failed that, I just couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted to sever ties with everything from my past, I didn’t want to be found. Hell, I kind of hoped that Sweetie and the others would just assume I had died and move on with their lives. More than once I had considered making it more than an assumption.

Of course, things didn’t go that way. I could never entirely let go. I kept small reminders of it all around my apartment, pictures, letters, that kind of stuff. Hell, even my ball was a reminder of my past. It had been from my first meeting with Sweetie—she’d tossed it to me to catch, when it had become a favoured pastime whilst we were still separated by that fence. I tried to move on, I really did, but I couldn’t.

And now here I was, dead.

I thought of Eidolon, wondering what had become of him. The last I’d seen of the griffon his head was burning. That provoked a small chuckle. It shouldn’t have, but I felt like he deserved it. Besides, it was unlikely he’d died: we were both drenched at the time. And if he actually had died, then he would probably be here trying to choke me again.

I thought of Firelock and Alula. I hoped that they were doing good, they really deserved to be happy. The two made a wonderful couple and it tore me up that I would never be able to see their wedding. I was glad that I had been able to see them both before I died though, my life would have been far worse if I hadn’t been able to laugh with Firelock again.

I thought of Apple Bloom. She had always been a great friend. We’d had spent many days together just tinkering on my scooter. We’d shared a love of technology, which had eventually proved to be her special talent. It was good that I had been able to talk to her before she died. Even when I was being a total ass, she stuck by me. She and Sweetie Belle had been the first to go and see me when Rainbow left.

Sweetie Belle…

I thought of her. Of the feelings for her I had only recently discovered. I loved her, I realised. I loved her and I’d never even get the chance to say it. I thought of how many times she had helped me when I was in trouble, how many times she had put her neck on the line to keep me from getting in trouble. How many times she had gone with me to do stupid things just so I wouldn’t be alone.

How many times I had hurt her.

“Hey there, squirt. How’re you doing?”

Beep.

I whipped around and came face to face with Rainbow Dash. Not the scarred, warped version of her I had seen in my nightmares. No, this was the real Rainbow Dash. The one who had cared for me, the one who had never given up, the one who had recorded a message for a little filly to tell her she was sorry.

This was my Rainbow Dash.

Beep.

“R- Rainbow?” I stammered, my voice hoarse and weak. She smiled. Not the confident smile she put on around others—this was the calm, loving smile she had shown when it was just me and her.

“You bet, Scoots.”

Beep.

“Where are we?” I gestured around me at the blackness. “Is this… is this death? Am I really dead?” Rainbow smiled at me, shaking her head a little. She opened one of her wings and nodded towards it. With only a little hesitation, I walked over and accepted her offer. I felt the warm snugness of her wing cover me. I was safe here.

“Nah, Scoots, not yet anyway, and this ain't death. If it was I’d have one big complaint for Luna and Celestia when they arrived!” she exclaimed, laughing.

Beep.

“No, this is… well to be honest, Scootaloo, you know better than me. This is your head after all.” She guided me to the top of a mountain which I was sure hadn’t been there before. I gasped as I gazed down at the vast expanse before me. We were in a forest, a forest of purples, blacks and greys. The trees were tall, beautiful. Everything emanated a soft glow.

Beep.

“This… this is Elysium! But that’s impossible, it’s just a fairy-tale!” I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I had spent many days in my childhood reading about this place, dreaming of the beauties it might hold. As I grew older I had all but abandoned it as nothing but a weak filly’s escape from reality. It was said to be a realm separate from our own, Luna’s very own haven of safety and solitude. “But why are we here?” I asked, looking up at Rainbow.

Beep.

“Your mind is trying to tell you somethin’, Scoots. Looks like I’m just here to guide you along the way.” I cocked my head in confusion, but Rainbow merely shrugged. “Hey, this is your mind. Not mine. Don’t blame me for the crazy shit you come up with.” I stuck my tongue out at her and she laughed, ruffling my mane. “So, you ready for this?”

I took a long look at the forest. What was I even trying to do here? What was the point? Well, I won’t get anywhere asking myself questions like that now will I?With that in mind, I looked up at Rainbow, and gave a firm nod.

Beep.

“Well then, you better lead the way, squirt. As I said, I’m just along for the ride.” She smiled at me, carefully removing her wing from my back and gesturing towards a light grey path which had appeared in front of me. I took a deep breath and began walking.

Beep.

The path led directly into Elysium. Trees stood either side of me, their branches entangled everywhere to create a thick canopy of wood. I could still see the purple, shifting sky above me. It was full of lavender stars, and I was happy to see an aurorae of purples dancing up there with them. Far above me hung the moon, a great eye constantly watching. Like much of the forest, it was a lightly glowing purple.

“Where are we meant to be going?” Rainbow looked tense, but I couldn’t tell why. This was the most calm and tranquil place I had ever been.

Beep.

“I don’t really know, Scoots. Just follow your instincts I guess.” That made sense—this was, after all, some journey of self-discovery or something created by my mind. We continued walking for a while longer, stopping as we eventually came to the edge of a great, dark lake. It was huge, at least the size of Las Pegasus!

At the centre of it, sprouting out of the lake was a large mountain, at the top of which sat a dark, gothic building. The sky above it looked like a whirlpool of violet, its middle directly above the central spire of the building. There appeared to be a small path leading up the side of the mountain, which started on the other side of the lake.

“What is this place, Rainbow?”

Beep.

“This lake is Ebonmere, the heart of Elysium. Up there? I don’t know, but I wouldn’t try flying.”

“What? Why not?”

“Because that would be easy. You know just as well as I do that nothing worth doing is ever easy.” She was right. I scanned the bank of the lake for anything useful, internally cheering as my eyes settled on a small, black rowing boat. I nudged Rainbow and gestured towards the boat. “Nice going, Scoots!” She grinned, striding towards the boat.

Beep.

The boat was stuck behind some rocks. It took a little effort, but we were able to pull it out and push it into the water. I jumped in first, Rainbow joined me a second later, and the boat rocked dangerously. After a few moments of shaking, it settled and we began to drift across the smooth water. I looked around the interior of the boat, quickly locating the paddles nestled underneath the benches.

I pulled one out and passed it back to Rainbow, then took out the second for myself. We started to row, our small vessel smoothly gliding across the unnervingly still water. Everything was still and silent. In the forest there had been the sound of wind rustling through leaves, owls hooting and the beautiful singing of Nightingales. Here there was… nothing. Just the splashing of water as we slowly paddled our way towards the cliff.

Something was wrong.

Beep.

There was an almighty roar and a huge, scaly head emerged from the water just ahead of us. I screamed as we were knocked back by the waves of water emanating from its huge neck. The creature had dark purple, almost black scales. It looked like a dragon, but had fins and was far, far bigger than any dragon I’d ever heard about. Not even the tales of the Dragon King could live up to this creature.

I glanced back at Rainbow; her pupils had shrunk. She stared up at the demonic beast. It had long, sharp horns which extended from the back of its head. My heart thumped in my chest as the creature’s head slowly turned to look down at us. Reptilian, golden eyes stared at me.

Beep.

“Ah, I was expecting you, Scootaloo,” it rasped with a slight echo. I was rooted to the spot in fear with no idea what to do. I was sure that this was it. I’d failed whatever test I had set for myself and now I was going to die. Again.

Then Rainbow walked in front of me, flaring her wings protectively.

Beep.

“Back off, Sitharii, this one is not for you.” The lake dragon merely laughed at that, his voice echoing all around me.

“What do you think you can do, little one? No one crosses the Ebonmere, not without paying the toll.” That snapped me back to the present. I looked up at the monstrous creature—Sitharii.

“What toll?” He laughed again, that same echoing laugh. I felt as though his voice was a storm of daggers, cutting through my mind.

Beep.

“Death.”

Beep.

“What!?” I asked, my voice raised in confusion and anger. What the heck was wrong with my mind? What was this meant to teach me?!

Beep.

“Death,” he repeated. Had I really just come here to die again? Was that my ultimate epiphany? That I was destined to die again and again?

Beep.

“Take me. Scootaloo is still needed among the living,” Rainbow said defiantly, taking a step forwards.

“No, Rainbow! I can’t lose you again!” I cried. She just shook her head and smiled that same sad smile she had given me the day she left.

“Scoots, you still have a chance to get back out there. I don’t. You’re still needed, I haven’t been needed for years.” I felt tears begin to fall again. This couldn’t be happening, not again! What the fuck was my mind trying to do to me? Drive me back into depression? Rainbow walked up to me, pulling me into a hug and wrapping her wings around me. “Shhh. I love you, Scoots. You’re gonna go on to do great things. Just remember what I told you all those years ago.”

“What?” I sniffed.

“Chase your horizons, do better and never, ever back down. The world needs you, Scoots, and so do your friends.” She paused and cocked her head as if thinking about something. “And when you get back out there, don’t wait to tell Sweetie how you feel. Trust me, I know.” With that, she stood up again, turning around and nodding at Sitharii. He stared at her for a few moments before sighing.

“This… this will do. Very well, come along little one. Your time is up.”Rainbow flapped her wings and soared into the sky, stopping just in front of Sitharii’s snout. Then the creature opened its mouth, revealing rows upon rows of razor-sharp teeth, and he breathed. A gout of white flame burst from his mouth, engulfing Rainbow. The last I saw of her was the wink of one eye, and then she was gone.

Beep.

I closed my eyes, trying to blink away the tears. When I opened them again, Sitharii too, was gone. There wasn’t even a ripple in the water where he had been—he had simply vanished. I sat there for a while, crying, but there are only so many tears you can shed before you run out. Besides, Rainbow had just died so that I could keep going. I wouldn’t waste the chance she gave me.

With stiff limbs, I reached out and grabbed the two oars under my fetlocks. I once again began to row, flapping my wings to give myself extra speed. I didn’t want to risk Sitharii jumping back out to eat me or something. I seemed to move much faster this time, arriving at the base of the cliff within what seemed like minutes.

The boat lightly bumped into a large set of carved, stone stairs. I looked up, but all I could see were stairs and stone. With nowhere else to go, I jumped off of the boat and stepped onto the stone. There was a splash from behind me—I turned around just in time to see my boat sink under the water.

Beep.

“Well, not going back that way,” I muttered. With nothing else to do, I began to ascend. Every step felt like an eternity. It drained me of my energy. It was all I could do to keep moving. But I did; I kept on moving, because if I didn’t then Rainbow’s sacrifice would have been for nothing. I couldn’t accept that.

So I climbed. I climbed and climbed, ignoring the burning in my lungs, the dull pain in my right eye. It didn’t matter, I would not fail. Not again. Never again. I wouldn’t back down, I owed that to Rainbow. I owed it to myself.

Beep.

After what felt like weeks, I finally reached the summit. I walked through a large stone archway, stepping into a courtyard of stone. Dozens of statues surrounded me: Ponies, Zebra, Griffons, Minotaurs and even a Changeling or two. They all had glowing, purple eyes which seemed to follow my every movement. The place was… eerie. I didn’t like it here at all.

Beep.

I rushed to the huge double-doors of the building, doing my best to avoid looking at the statues. I pushed against them, and they opened without a sound. I had expected them to deny my entrance, forcing me to find some alternate route inside where I would be attacked by hordes of the statues. This was too easy.

Beep.

Carefully, I stepped through the doorway. The room I entered was pitch black—I couldn’t see a thing. I heard the door slam, but didn't bother turning around. Suddenly, there was a blinding flash of light. I shut my eyes, bringing a hoof up to cover them on instinct. When the throbbing in them stopped, I opened my eyes again to see a purple flame on a pedestal in the centre of the room. Behind the pedestal was a large, angular, grey tomb. It had two stone Night Guards standing either side of it, and behind the tomb was another archway leading into a shadowy corridor.

Beep.

I heard the clacking of steel-shod hooves coming from the corridor. A pegasus mare stepped out of it, wearing a full set of plate armour. There was not one part of her body exposed. Aside from her eyes. Her glowing, lavender eyes. She had long, serrated hoofblades, which cut deep grooves in the floor as she walked. She stopped as she got to the far edge of the tomb, and stared at me.

Beep.

We stood there for a while, neither of us making a move. Then, without warning, she leapt forwards, her wings beating as she streaked towards me. I leapt to the side, narrowly avoiding her lunge. She was unperturbed, and continued to rain flurry after flurry of attacks after me. I kept moving back, constantly dodging. The mare fought in unnerving silence, never uttering a single word or grunt. Nothing.

Beep.

My flank collided with cold stone. I was cornered. The mare didn’t waste time—she slashed down again, the hoofblades on a course for my neck. In a last, desperate move I darted forwards, my hooves colliding with her helmet. She fell back, still not making a sound. Capitalising on my opportunity, I pounded away at her helmet, smashing dents into the steel. Finally, my efforts paid off and the helmet rolled away, revealing her face. I raised my hoof, ready to finish her!

Ready to finish me.

“Go on. Do it. Kill me. This is what you want, isn’t it? It’s what you fucking dream of!” I stared down in horror at my own bloody, scarred face. She was missing her right eye, a gaping hole left behind. Her other was bloodshot and angry.

I fell back, shaking. This couldn’t be happening.My heart was throbbing, my ears were roaring. My double merely chuckled, her voice echoing sinisterly. She began to shed her armour, casually throwing it away to reveal black, mechanical legs with small, talon-like digits. I was even more horrified to see her cutie mark, my cutie mark had been burnt and scarred. The phoenix was barely visible under the raw flesh.

“No… no you aren’t me, you can’t be…”

“And why can’t it be? Wake the fuck up, Scootaloo, you know what you see. I’m you, the real you. I’m the blackest little part of your soul,” she laughed, grinning widely. She started to walk closer as I backed away. “Slate? Eidolon? They don’t have shit on us! At least they don’t pretend to be anything else, at least they don’t hide who they are.” She stopped directly in front of me, giving me a hard shove with one of her mechanical appendages.

“But you can’t do that, can you? You can’t accept who you really are. You have to go around constantly hurting the ponies you know will come back again, and again to help you. You’re a fucking monster, Scootaloo, all I am is brave enough to admit it. Because I am fucking sick of this ‘better pony’ crap. You aren’t better, you never were. What’s the point, huh? Why try and be better when you can’t even be there when your best friend dies!?”

I felt tears begin to fall again. I didn’t even bother trying to stop them. My legs felt weak, and I collapsed to the floor. There was nothing I could say. She was right. She was completely right.

“Yeah. I thought so. So why don’t you go ahead and off yourself? That’s what you wanted isn’t it? What happened to the whole ‘Why should I live when they die’ thing? Isn’t this what you wanted? So go ahead, kill me. Fucking do it, you worthless pile of shit!” I struggled to my hooves, trying to stare my warped self in the eye.

“What? What do you want from me?” I asked her, and she laughed.

“I want you to give it up! I’m sick and tired of all this bullshit, so stop beating around the damned bush, Scootaloo. You want to die? You want to stop hurting? I’m right here.” She sat back and threw her forelegs wide, exposing her chest for me to see. It was covered in scars, some of them fresh enough to still be bleeding. “Do it.”

I shook my head, backing away. “No… no I don’t want to. I won’t!”

“Of course you won’t,” she said, standing up again. She began to advance, casually strolling towards me. “Not when it really comes down to it. You bitch and cry about how much you hurt others, about how you don’t deserve to live. But when it all comes down to it, you’re just a big fucking coward.”

“Stop it!” I shouted, trying to cover my ears and block out her words. She snarled, smacking me across the face. I fell to the ground, bleeding from a deep gash on my cheek.

“No, Scootaloo, you fucking stop it! Stop trying to be better. Stop trying to fix your mistakes, because you can’t! You never could! You’re fucking pathetic. You’re a failure. You are an insult to everyone who has ever fucking known you!” she screamed. She began to shudder as she spoke, her breathing irregular. “And if you don’t stop trying to fix your screw-ups, you’ll end up a husk. If you want to survive, you have to become like me. Stop caring, stop giving a shit! Accept what you are and embrace it. You’re a monster, Scootaloo, a fucking beast. You’ve already nearly killed two people; you only stopped this time because he was better than you. How long until you succeed? You’ve only got three options here: you stop caring, and become like me... you burn yourself out trying to fix your mistakes... or you die.”

I stared up at my mirror, finally realising what she was. She was my fear. My hurt, my pain. All of it bundled up inside a single entity. She was trying to protect me, not hurt me. She was breathing heavily, her face contorted in rage. Slowly, I rose to my hooves. She was shaking even more violently now. I reached forwards and she began to fall, her gaze transforming from one of rage to one of unimaginable pain. My hooves wrapped around her, and she collapsed into my shoulder, crying. I stroked her mane.

“I’m sorry…” I whispered to her, stroking her mane. She just sobbed. “I’m sorry I wasn’t fast enough to save you, but I can’t give up now. You know I can’t. I finally really do have a chance to make things right and I don’t want to let it pass me… no, pass us by.” She looked up at me, tears in her one remaining eye.

“It’ll be tough. We’ll get hurt, I… I don’t know if I can take it anymore. I’m just so tired of hurting,” she managed through sobs. I hugged her closer.

“I know it will, but we’ve just gotta hold on. Because… because no matter what, we’ve got to keep trying. We owe it to Rainbow, to Sweetie, to Apple Bloom, to everyone! And… and if we burn out, or if we die, or… or if we really do become a monster, then that’s what happens. But we can’t just hide away from the pain. We have to keep fighting.” She sniffed again, but eventually nodded.

“Okay,” she whispered in a hoarse voice. She pulled back, struggling to her hooves. Once she was standing again, she turned back towards the tunnel she had come from. I got up and ran after her, stopping just outside the tunnel as she began to walk through it.

“Where are we going?” I asked. She stopped and turned around, a weak smile on her face.

“Home,” she replied, disappearing into the shadows. With one last look around the room, I followed her into the cold blackness.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Author's Note

Well, here we have possibly my favoruite chapter of the story. It was a blast to write, though I had some trouble with names for stuff. Anyway, we have one more chapter left and three epilogues. I'll probably make a fancier A/N when I'm more awake, it is 0:30 as I write this and I've been sleeping for like maybe four hours a night for the past week. Urgh.

~DeepShift

Chapter 9: Awakening

Perception

~~~

“A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. To live is to be slowly born.”

~~~

Chapter 9: Awakening

My heart was thumping painfully in my chest. I felt as though I had been hit by a train. My mind dragged itself out the pit it had been lying in, slowly clawing its way back to a state of usefulness. Breathing hurt, but that wasn’t important—I needed to move, to get up.

Beep.

“Uh, did you hear that?”

“What?”

Beep. Beep.

“...Shit, shit! We’ve got a pulse! Get somebody in here!”

Beep. Beep. Beep.

I began to slowly crack open my left eye. A bright operating light blinded me and I shut it again. Ouch. My mind was still fuzzy, but I could faintly hear two stallions talking. I could also hear somepony crying, but I couldn’t tell who. I tried to move, but I was too weak—all I succeeded in doing was shift my left foreleg. I opened my left eye again, trying to get my bearings. When I tried to open the other I was confronted with a burst of pain, and I quickly gave up.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

“She’s moving, she’s actually moving!”

“Doctor Greymane, what do we do?”

“Get an oxygen mask. Somepony else, pass me a nova.” There was another bright flash of light above my eye as a vaguely-familiar brown stallion shone a torch in my eyes. I let out a pained groan. Fuck, my chest hurts!Every breath felt like a thousand daggers in my side. I raised a hoof feebly to block out the light.

“I… I don’t believe it…” muttered a voice from my left. Or was it my right? I couldn’t tell. Everything was so fuzzy and distorted. I couldn’t focus on anything. I was beginning to feel tired again, in too much pain to make any sense of anything right now. With one last groan, I let sleep take me.

* * *

I woke up again to a decidedly less painful situation. I still felt like shit, but at least I could think. A soft, light blanket was draped over me while my head was resting on a surprisingly comfortable pillow. It had been ages since I had actually slept on a bed; I made a mental note to do it more often.

With a groan, I began to prop myself up on one of my forelimbs. It didn’t work. My leg fell out from under me, and I collapsed back onto the bed, hissing in pain as my chest flared up again. Okay, not the best idea.

“Scootaloo!” cried a voice from nearby. A voice I recognized very well.

“Sweetie Belle?” I asked, surprised at the sound of my own voice. It was raspy, hoarse. I sounded as though someone had torn out my windpipe and replaced it with a rusty exhaust pipe.

“Yes, yes! You’re alive, you’re really alive!” she exclaimed. I could practically hear the tears in her voice. I felt Sweetie’s hooves carefully wrap around me, and I leaned into her hug. I felt wet droplets fall on my coat, felt her heartbeat on my chest. This was Sweetie Belle—she was here, even if I couldn’t see her. “I was so worried when you went missing, we were looking for you, and then you were dead-and-and—” she broke down again, crying into my shoulder.

I raised one of my forelegs, feeling along her own limbs until I reached her face. Her coat was so soft, so warm. She pulled back a little and I got the distinct feeling she was staring at me.

“Scootaloo?” she asked with a hint of worry. I smiled, thinking back to Rainbow’s last words before she was taken by Sitharii.

“And when you get back out there, don’t wait to tell Sweetie how you feel. Trust me, I know.” I wasn’t going to wait anymore. Life was too short. I hooked a fetlock around her neck, pulling her closer. I could feel her breath on my muzzle, quick and heavy.

Geronimo.

I brought my muzzle up and kissed her. Or at least, tried to. I was off by a little bit and ended up kissing her somewhere on the side of the mouth. If I was perfectly honest, it was probably the most awkward kiss in the history of all kisses. Ever. Of all time. I pulled back, unsure if I had overstepped my boundaries.

“Scootaloo?” asked Sweetie Belle’s shocked voice.

“Y-yeah?” I stammered back. Yep, I fucked up. I could tell that she was going to let me down easy, which in a way hurt even more. If she just told me she hated me I could move on, but—

My line of thought was cut off as I felt soft lips press against my own. The contact was short, only a few seconds, but that was enough. Sweetie pulled back, both of us grinning.

“You missed.”

I laughed, Sweetie didn’t hate me! Everything was going to be okay! I hugged her close, relishing the feel of her coat against my own. It was okay, everything was okay. Then, finally, my brain caught up to me.

I couldn’t see. I hadn’t seen anything since waking up. That wasn’t surprising, considering my eyes were closed. What was surprising was that even after I opened them, I still couldn’t see. I could feel a bandage around my head, but even then I should have been able to see something, right? My mind flashed back to the warped version of myself I had seen in my dreams, and I shuddered. No… no, I’m not her, Eidolon didn’t even cut that deep...

“W-why can’t I see?” I asked, stammering as my heart began to thump in my chest again. I heard a sharp intake of breath. “Why. Can’t. I. See,” I repeated more firmly, I had a feeling I knew the answer, heck I had seen it, but I didn’t want to believe it.

“I’m… I’m sorry, Scoots, they did everything they could. It was just too deep…” I began to shake. No, please no. I flashed back to the moment my shadow’s helmet rolled off and I stared into that gaping hole where an eye should have been.

“S-Sweetie, please take off the bandage, okay?” I felt Sweetie nod from next to me, and the bed shifted as she moved. There was a soft, tingly sensation as the bandage around my head was unwrapped with magic. Slowly, Sweetie unrolled it. I was in one of those sickly-green hospital rooms, like I had seen Apple Bloom in only a short while ago. Sweetie stood before me looking intensely worried. Something about my vision, it felt off…

“Sweetie, get me a mirror please.”

“Scootaloo, are you sure? I mean—”

“Please!” I snapped, my breathing irregular and painful. I was terrified, but I immediately felt guilty for acting so hostile. Sweetie had been through just as much as I had this past week, maybe more. “Please,” I repeated, quieter. Sweetie’s horn flickered to life and a mirror from my bedside was lifted. I braced myself for what I would see. Then, with a deep breath, I turned.

My left eye was fine; it looked as it always had, if a little more bloodshot. My right eye, however… My right eye was dull. Lifeless. Grey. A long, jagged scar ran down from just above my eyebrow to the top of my jaw. I was blind. Not entirely, but that didn’t matter to me at that moment. All I could think about was how I would never get into the Wonderbolts, or any professional flying team, because as far as they were concerned I was blind.

I took a deep, shuddering breath and then looked away. It could have been worse—heck, I could have been dead. This, by comparison, was a small injury.

“Scoots, are you okay?” Sweetie asked. I put on a fake grin, unwilling to worry her further.

“Y-you kidding? Of course I am! I’ve nev—” I cut myself off. Who was I fooling? What was I trying to prove? I would just be making things worse by keeping my feelings locked away. I breathed out a long, shaky sigh. “...No. No, I’m not. I know I should be ecstatic, I mean I’m still alive but…” Sweetie swept me up into another hug, being careful to avoid touching my ribs. I sighed into her shoulder, unable to shed another tear. “Thanks, Sweetie. I… I don’t know what I’d do without you, you’re just so—”

“Shhh. Not right now, Scoots, you need to rest. We’ll talk about that later okay?” she said, rubbing my back. I slowly nodded, but then a thought hit me.

“Sweetie… earlier, you said I was dead. What did you mean?” She pulled back again, looking me in the eyes—eye.

“You… after Firelock found you and the griffon, she brought you back to the hospital. You were in really bad shape: broken rib, fractured wing, torn up neck, your eye...” She paused, looking away. After collecting herself, she turned back to me and continued. “They couldn’t do anything about the eye, but everything else they managed to bandage and fix up before you could get infected. You were fine... until yesterday, when you just… died. All your vital signs just dropped.”

What!?

“We were there, in your room. Everything just stopped and then, ten minutes later, you were back. Your heart started beating and you began to move. Then you fell asleep, just like that. I haven’t left since.” This was too much to handle. I had died? As in, actually died? I had thought that I’d just maybe been in a coma or something, and that the entire ‘Elysium’ thing was a dream, but had it been more?

“How?” I eventually managed to say. Sweetie just shook her head.

“I have no idea—the doctor said he’d never seen anything like it. As far as he was concerned, it wasn’t even possible until yesterday.” I turned that over and over again in my mind. Had I failed? Had I finally become the monster I feared? Was I some kind of undead abomination? Would I become the shadow which dwelled within my mind? “Don’t even start thinking like that.” I glanced up at Sweetie in confusion. How did she know what I was thinking?

“Because whenever you think like that, you get this ‘I’m a monster’ look. You aren’t a monster, Scootaloo. You know what I think?” She pulled back the sheets, pointedly tapping a hoof on my cutie mark. “I think you’re a phoenix.”

A huge surge of affection burst through my heart and I pulled Sweetie Belle into a deep kiss. She ‘eeped’ a little, but swiftly melted into it. We stayed like that for a while—the entire world bled away, leaving only us and our newfound love. Of course, all good things must come to an end.

“Hey, Sweetie, I just came by to— hello!” I pulled back to see Firelock standing in the doorway, a surprised look on her face. Within seconds, it became a grin. “Scoots, you’re awake!” She paused. “And kissing Sweetie! I guess miracles do happen!” she laughed. Then—practically sprinting forwards—she enveloped us both in a strong hug. I winced in pain, and Firelock quickly released us, smiling apologetically. “Sorry. Got a little excited, there.”

“Not a problem,” I reassured her. Then I noticed a long scar across her muzzle. “Shit, how did you get that?” Her smile dampened a little.

“The griffon did it,” she replied, scratching a little at the scar.

“You mean Eidolon?” I asked, remembering that Sweetie had mentioned Firelock finding me. “You saved me, didn’t you? I remember: he was about to kill me, and then his head just burst into flames.” Firelock nodded, frowning a little.

“Yeah. When I heard what happened, I went looking for you. I was out near the Everfree when I saw an orange shape falling out of Rainbow’s old place. I couldn’t really think of any other orange things that would be around there, so I went to investigate. When I arrived, you were at the edge of a lake with a griffon ready to tear out your throat.” She sighed. “Never fought so hard in my life. That griffon, Eidolon? He’s something else. I’m just… I’m sorry I didn’t get there in time...” she trailed off, pointedly not looking at my eyes. “If I’d been a little faster…”

“No. Don’t blame yourself, Firelock, I shouldn’t have gone running off like that. Besides, if you hadn’t come I’d be dead right now. Remind me to buy you a drink sometime, okay?” Firelock smiled gratefully at me. “So, what happened to Eidolon?”

“Well, after I managed to knock him out—real hard to do when you’re a pyromancer and your opponent is drenched by the way—I hauled both of you back to Ponyville. I dropped him off with one of the other guards on the way in. They took him over to the prison to be held until he’s escorted to Canterlot. He really was one tough bastard. Even after what you did to him, it took almost all of my magic to take him down.”

“Do we know who hired him?” I asked, thinking back to his mentions of a contract. Yes, Eidolon may have been the one to pull the trigger, but he wasn’t the one who had planned the kill—nor was he the one who had decided Apple Bloom needed to die. He was just the tool, the instrument. There was something bigger going on here, I could feel it in my gut.

“No, we couldn’t find anything indicating an employer on him, and he hasn’t spoken since he was imprisoned. Said he’d only talk to the one who bested him. I tried, but he said that I didn’t count. Looks like you’ve earned yourself a fan, Scoots.” Firelock chuckled. “In all seriousness though, if it hadn’t been for you, I don’t think we would ever have caught him. You’d make a good guard, y’know that?” I smiled a little at that.

“Thanks, Firelock.” I paused, thinking for a moment about what had been said. Only talk to the one who bested him, eh? Alright then, let’s see how you like talking to a ghost. “Hey, I wouldn’t be able to speak with him, would I?” Firelock seemed taken aback at that; Sweetie let out a small gasp.

“You sure about that, Scoots?” Sweetie asked. I nodded. This was something I had to do.

“Yeah, I guess… I guess I just want to show him that no matter how many people he killed, he missed one. Give him something to think about while he rots in prison.” Slowly, Firelock nodded.

“Okay, that’s fair enough. Well, he won’t be going anywhere, and for that matter you won’t either. You are going to sit back and take it easy on your bones for a while. You can talk to him when you can take five steps without wincing,” she said in a commanding tone I’d never heard her use before. I nodded in response and Firelock immediately dropped the guard-act, reverting her expression back to her usual carefree grin. “Good.”

“Hey, Scoots?” Sweetie asked from my side.

“Yeah?”

“Do you remember anything from when you were unconscious? The doctor says that your eye movement suggested heavy dreaming.” I chuckled awkwardly. Ouch. Right, yeah, broken rib. Laughing not good, avoid.

“It’s uh… it’s a pretty long story. Are you sure you want to hear it?” Sweetie just stared at me. “Right, sorry. I did promise to tell you everything. Fine, can I have some water first, though?” She nodded and walked out the room, presumably to go and fetch some.

“Yeah, I’ll go get Alula, actually, she’s been really worried about you and will want to know you’re back among the living. Oh, and she’ll want to hear the story too, if that’s okay?” Firelock added. I waved a hoof at her, nodding. She walked out the room, leaving me alone. I wondered what I would tell them? Where would I start? That fateful day, all those years ago when Rainbow had left? I thought back to what had happened over the past few days; it was almost funny how much my life had changed in that short period. How much I’d changed…

A familiar shape caught my peripheral vision. I turned my head to see myself—the same me from Elysium, the shade, but different. Where before there had been fear or anger, I now saw… hope. Her right eye socket was also no longer empty. Now, it contained the same eye which I had been looking at moments ago.

“Thank you,” she whispered to me, before slowly fading away. I felt an odd sense of closure as the last remnants of my other-self disappeared from view. It was as if six years of pain and regret were finally starting to heal. True, the scars would always be there, and the future surely held many more, but maybe, just maybe I’d be able to handle it now that I wouldn’t be fighting alone. After all, if I could face my inner darkness and come out on top, then there was no reason I wouldn’t be able to handle the future too.

I found myself thinking back to my journey through my own mind—through Elysium. The trials I had faced... they had all been designed to batter me, to break me, to tear me apart from the inside-out by the one being who could: me.

But I had persevered, pushed past it. The thoughts of my friends had kept me going, and had apparently brought me back from the very edge of death.

I felt a strange sense of clarity. It seemed like for the past six years, I had been asleep and only now was I finally waking up. I had been hurt, but now that I was through the pain I was emerging stronger than ever before. A phoenix rising from the ashes, said a small, distinctive voice from inside my head. At that moment, I knew what I would tell my friends. I would tell them a story—but not just any story, for this was a true story. It was a story about perseverance, about purpose, about… love.

It was my story.

A few minutes later, I was sipping a glass of water. Alula and Firelock sat together on one side of my bed, with Sweetie Belle on the other, holding my hoof in her own. Alula couldn’t stop grinning as she looked between us—I could tell that she was going to have a lot to say when I was done. Best to make it a long tale then, but that wouldn’t be hard. I had been collecting my thoughts, organising them into what would hopefully be a tale worth remembering.

“Alrighty, story time with Scootaloo! Sit down and listen!” I exclaimed. Firelock tapped a hoof against her chair, raising an eyebrow at me. “Point taken. Now before I start, I want to ask you all a question. Something I read some time ago, just something I want you to think about. Does the walker choose the path, or the path the walker? I can tell you that I have asked myself that question many times—not in those exact words, but the essence of it. Do our destinies choose us, or do we choose our destinies?”

Firelock’s jaw hung open, and Alula worked her mouth silently as if trying to string together a coherent sentence.

“Hey, I can be poetic if I want to, y’know,” I said, sticking my tongue out at them. Sweetie giggled cutely from next to me and my smile grew wider. “Anyway, I guess it all really started about a week ago. The first word which jumps to mind is… Grey. The world around me was a dull grey. Monochrome, colourless, whatever you want to call it. That was my life...

Author's Note

And here it is! The end of our tale, a few epilogues left but this is the end of the main story. It's still going to need editing, as will the remaining three epilogues, but that can come later. I don't really have much to say for this one, so I'll see you all next chapter.

~DeepShift

Epilogue I: Catharsis

Perception

~~~

“Nothing is ever as it seems.”

~~~

Epilogue I: Catharsis

“Is that Scootaloo?”

“I heard she died.”

“Well obviously not.”

“Isn’t she supposed to be blind?”

“Doesn't look too blind to me.”

“I heard she killed somepony.”

“Yeah? Well I heard she tracked down that guy who killed Apple Bloom.”

“No way.”

“It’s the truth!”

That was the kind of stuff I heard as I strode through the streets of Ponyville. I couldn’t go anywhere without someone commenting on my presence. Back when I was a filly, I would have loved the attention, but now it was just plain annoying. Didn’t these ponies have anything better to do?

I couldn’t really fault them, I had made quite the show last week. Ponies tend to notice when your bleeding, unconscious body is rushed to the hospital by a well-known guard. Especially when said guard is also carrying a huge, scarred griffon too. Rumours about what had happened spread quickly; pretty soon, Eidolon and I were the talk of the town.

Eidolon…

I was going to see him, but I’d only gotten out of the hospital two days ago. Doctor Greymane had worked some incredible magic to get me moving so quickly, I had no idea how he managed it but my rib was practically as good as new. Sweetie had urged me to take some more time before I spoke to the griffon, but I couldn’t put this off. The guards from Canterlot would be arriving to take him away tomorrow. It was now or never, and I really wanted to see him before he left, if only to show him that he had failed at least one kill.

Sweetie and Firelock had both offered to go with me, but I declined. This was something I had to do alone. I smiled a little as I thought of my marefriend. After the events of the previous week, it was nice to really have some stability back in my life. Sweetie Belle was my constant, my rock. She helped keep me focused on moving forward, making sure I never relapsed back into my darker self.

Of course, I wasn’t the only one who needed somepony to talk to in this relationship. Sweetie had been holding in a heck of a lot of emotions since I arrived, putting them on hold to deal with my own. Always putting others first…

We were dealing with it, though. Now that I was somewhere near mentally stable, I was able to talk to her about her own problems, not just mine. I had my worries about our relationship, especially given what I was, but that wasn’t something for now. We were going to make this work, together. With that in mind, I walked a little faster. I wanted to get this over with so I could get back to her.

It didn’t take long to find the Ponyville prison; there weren’t many brick buildings in Ponyville, especially with bars on windows after all. It was small, because with a crime rate of near zero, there was no reason to have a large prison. From what I had heard, it had three cells and that was it.

I pushed open the doors, entering a small reception area. A bored-looking mare sat behind the counter, reading some magazine about scandals within the canterlot elite. Nearby sat a bored-looking guard who was tossing a small blue ball at the wall, catching it in his hoof when it bounced back and throwing it again. I know the feeling, pal, I thought, remembering the many hours I had spent doing the exact same thing in Las Pegasus.

I cleared my throat. “‘Scuse me? I’m here to see the griffon.” The mare behind the counter looked up at me, her eyes widening as her eyes reached my face. “I’m Scootaloo if that helps,” I added, though judging from the look on her face she’d probably already figured that out.

“Uh y-yes, go on in, Miss. Cell B.” I nodded my thanks, adjusted my goggles and walked down the corridor. The guard stopped tossing the ball, looking up at me with a smile.

“You can go on in. And good luck, he hasn’t said a word to anypony since he got here. Doesn't look like it’s gonna change, either.” He passed me the keys, though I paused as I was about to enter.

“Would you mind giving me some privacy?” I asked politely. Sweetie had been educating me in the art of ‘persuasion.’ He nodded absent-mindedly, getting up and trotting back into the reception area. I turned back to the door. This is it. It was time to face the creature who not only killed me, but killed my best friend too. I took a deep breath, unlocked it and pushed it open.

The room was simple. Four stone walls, a small mattress in one corner, a dirty sink and toilet in the other. From what I’d heard about where Eidolon was going, this was a luxury suite. At least it had plumbing.

Eidolon himself sat in the centre of the room, his head bowed. His wings were bound to his sides and he was chained to the floor. The chains granted him enough freedom to move around the room, but not with any degree of speed. I shut the door behind me, there was no way I was risking him escaping.

“What’s your name? Your real name I mean, not your assassin title or whatever ‘Eidolon’ is meant to be.”

Slowly, he raised his head to look at me. His left eye was a bloody ruin, his iris a mixture of green and red. a pair of long scars ran across his face, surrounded by smaller cuts. It looked far worse than I had expected it to and I had to fight to keep myself from throwing up. Did I do that? I asked myself in horror. The other watched me, the green orb betraying no emotion. It simply stared. He didn’t speak, just stared. I collected myself, focusing on the task at hand. It was time to try out some of those new smooth-talking techniques.

“Nice place you’ve got here,” I commented casually, looking around the dark room. He said nothing. “Not in the mood for talking anymore? Funny, things seemed pretty different when our positions were swapped and you were the one standing over me. But obviously you don’t want to have a nice chat, so I’ll make this short.” I turned back to face him, my one working eye staring into his. “Why?”

He didn’t respond at first, just stared. I stared right back, not blinking. Eventually he looked away, sighing.

“I had heard that you had survived your wounds, but did not believe it. No one has ever survived an encounter with me on my own terms. You are my first and only failure,” he said flatly, his voice rasping slightly through his cracked beak.

This… wasn’t what I was expecting. I had been expecting him to tell me about how I was pathetic and how as soon as he got those chains off he would kill me for what I had done. This… this seemed wrong.

“Why is it me who you will talk to, and not Firelock? She’s the one who beat you,” I asked, voicing the first of many questions I had for this griffon.

“Because while she may have defeated me, she did not best me. You survived where none have, and in the process of surviving you triggered my capture. She defeated me, you bested me.” That didn’t make any sense, but if it meant that I could get information out of him I wouldn’t complain.

“How? How do you still live?” he asked, his voice rising slightly. “I saw you. You were bleeding out in the lake, your limbs were bent in ways that shouldn’t even be possible, the fact that you stand before me now is… is… it’s wrong.” he finished, finally letting some emotion into his voice. He sounded respectful, angry and scared all at the same time.

I considered that for a moment. Even I wasn’t really sure how I had survived, so I explained it in the only way I could. “I… I went to the darkest part of myself, and I lit a candle,” I said simply. He didn’t seem entirely pleased with the answer, but accepted it nonetheless. “Now tell me, why? Why did you kill Apple Bloom?”

He laughed. “For the same reason I kill anyone: money,” he said simply. “I kill because that is what I am good at. Apple Bloom was just another contract.” I felt a burst of anger inside of me, and I raised a hoof to hit him. Just as I was about to swing, I stopped myself. Hurting him wouldn’t get me anywhere. Instead, I took a few deep breaths before continuing.

“If she was a contract, then who hired you?” I asked him. He closed his eye, pulling on his chains a little as he thought. I sat down across from him, hoping that maybe if I made myself appear less hostile he would be more willing to talk.

“A griffon never betrays a contract. I am sorry but I cannot divulge the name of my employer, not even to an equal,” he said at length. I groaned, well wasn’t that wonderful? “However…” he began hesitantly. “I can offer you a warning. A storm is coming, a storm of steel, blood and fire. This job was just the beginning, and soon war will rage all across your lands. You cannot stop it, you can only prepare.”

This… this was big. If what he was saying was true, then Equestria was in great danger. We hadn’t had a major war in centuries, and our military was not prepared to deal with that kind of threat. I had to pass this information on to the princesses. Hopefully, they would know what to do, perhaps be able to figure out who would want to invade.

“Thank you,” I said as I stood and turned to leave.

“I will kill you,” the chained griffon stated. “I only tell you this so that I know you will survive long enough for me to meet you again, I don’t want anyone else to have the honour of killing you. I will kill you because I know that were we to meet again, you would kill me too. Inside our hearts we are the same, Scootaloo.” I paused, turning back to face him.

“We aren’t the same, Eidolon. I don’t know what happened to drive you to this point, but whatever it was, it drove you into a dark, dark place. A place I’ve been. And when you finally found your way to the centre and confronted your inner darkness, it won. That’s what separates me from you. Yeah we have similarities, but when it really comes down to it, I will never be the same as you.”

I stared down at the broken form of a griffon who had probably once had a chance to be great. To save people, and who had failed. “You stumped your own potential with your hate. You killed your own light and left only darkness. Don’t mistake this for pity, though, you are a monster, and if I ever see you again, I will not hesitate to do whatever I have to do to make sure you don’t hurt anypony again.” I took a step closer, staring Eidolon down with my one remaining eye. This was it, all my pent up anger towards this being was being let out in a flood of words.

“But do you want to know what really separates me from you?” I asked him, he just stared back, but I could see a hint of fear in his eyes. “Even if I died, I’m still more alive than you will ever be. I have a reason to live. I have friends. What do you have? Hate, that’s it. That’s all you are. Flesh, bones and hate. Goodbye, Eidolon, I hope that one day you will find what you were looking for.” I turned to leave, there was nothing more I had to say.

“Gaurus,” he called, “my name is Gaurus.” I continued walking. He didn’t deserve any more of my breath. I didn’t look back as the cell door shut. I didn’t really know what I had come here to find, but I did know what I left with.

I found catharsis and I hoped beyond hope that Gaurus had too.

Author's Note

And here we have it! Eidolon has a name! Yay! This was a great chapter to write, I really enjoy Gaurus, he's an incredibly fun character. It's refreshing to be able to write someone who isn't depressed as hell y'know? Well, aside from that I don't really have anything to say for this chapter, so I'll see you all next time.

~DeepShift

Epilogue II: Closure

Perception

~~~

“Every tale’s ending is another’s beginning.”

~~~

Epilogue II: Closure

“Hey there, AB. I... uh, I brought you something,” I said awkwardly, placing a bouquet of crimson roses in front of her headstone. I stood on top of a hill on the outskirts of Ponyville. Its only features were a large apple tree and Apple Bloom’s grave, which sat a little further away. She had apparently come here to think when she was still alive, and I could see why. From up here, the entirety of Ponyville was laid out before me. When it was dark outside, you could see the lights of Ponyville scattered all around like insects. It looked beautiful, and I found myself comforted by the idea that Apple Bloom would always be able to see this.

“We miss you. I know funerals are meant to bring closure or something, but I don’t really feel any better.” I paused, gathering my thoughts. I didn’t even know what I was doing here. The funeral had finished an hour ago; Sweetie had already gone home to sleep. I would have gone with her, but instead I had found myself drawn here.

The funeral had been… it had felt wrong. It was too rehearsed, too fake. It seemed to me like the words were more about the emotion they provoked than the feelings behind them. It had felt less about Apple Bloom and more about following social conventions. So here I was, standing like an idiot in front of Apple Bloom’s grave, looking for some kind of closure. I looked around, checking no one was watching me. Satisfied I was alone, I plopped down on the ground and sighed.

“Honestly, I don’t really know what to do. The funeral just felt stupid; the mayor said a few words about you and then we were done. We should have… I don’t know. It just wasn’t right.” I paused. I didn’t know what to do. This was just so wrong, all of it, everything! “It’s just… fuck! I don’t know. I’m just so angry and I don’t know why! It’s like I want to say stuff, but nothing’s coming. My mind is just such a damned mess right now.” I stomped the ground. Slowly, taking a deep breath, I calmed myself down enough to try and use actual sentences.

“I guess I just didn’t want things to end like this, y’know? I always imagined that maybe one day I’d come back and we’d all just go out to a cafe and get a drink. Obviously, things didn’t go the way I planned. Instead...” I sighed. “I died, AB. I died, and a little bit before that, you died. How the heck do you respond to that? What is the appropriate reaction? It’s bad enough losing you, but dying myself? I don’t know what to think anymore. It’s all just such a mess.” Suddenly a droplet of rain landed on my muzzle. A few seconds later, more fell, and soon it was raining. I shifted a little further under the cover of the tree.

“Do you know what was really awful though? I barely even managed to get into the funeral, Applejack was pretty solid about keeping me away, said that I’d ruin your memory or something. Big Mac managed to reign her in enough to let me stay, but I don’t think I’m gonna be able to be anywhere near Sweet Apple Acres for a long time. Back when we were foals Applejack was always so calm and level-headed, it’s horrible seeing her this angry and knowing it’s my fault.” I sighed. This was stupid. I was sick and tired of all this depressing shit.

I shifted myself over so that I had my back to a tree and relaxed a little, finally coming up with something less awful to talk about. “So, what’s happened recently? Well, I finally figured out what you meant when you said that Sweetie had been missing me a lot. We’ve started dating, and it’s going pretty good so far. We have a lot of baggage to deal with, but I think we’re gonna make it. I’m a little worried still, I mean what if I fuck up again and hurt her?” I shook my head, dispelling the thoughts. That was a conversation to have with Sweetie, not Apple Bloom’s grave.

“Firelock suggested that we all go to Elkenheim in a few months. She said that after all that has happened, we could use some time away from Equestria. I’ve gotta agree—it’s been a heck of a few weeks, and we could all use a break. In fact, between you and me, I think that she’s finally planning to pop the question to Alula. I hope so. It’d be nice.” I sighed, my mind casting back to the most recent events of my life.

“I saw Eidolon—Gaurus, whatever—yesterday. He… he wasn’t what I expected. I thought he was just going to rant about how he was going to kill me for what happened to him. Instead he was just… calm. He talked to me about how war was coming to Equestria and how… how you were just another contract to him.” My muscles tensed, but I forced them to relax. There was no point in lashing out.

“I was so angry at him for saying that, but I managed to keep my cool. Then he started talking about how we were the same… while we definitely aren’t, I couldn’t help but notice similarities. He just had this… this seething anger just below the surface. I don’t know what, but something happened which drove him over the edge. It… it scares me how close to him I am—I mean, what if I hadn’t found my way out of Elysium, or if I had let the shade win? Would I have just ended up another Gaurus? I like to think that I could never be like him, but I know that’s not true.” I glanced back at the simple grave. A carving of Apple Bloom’s cutie mark—a crossed spanner and screwdriver—and her name were all that it bore. Just how she would have wanted it.

“I hope you like it wherever you are. You deserve some peace.” I laughed a little as a thought struck me. “Hey, if you think about it, I’m technically undead. I’m pretty sure that makes me a crime against nature or something. Oh well.” It helped to joke about my ‘condition.’ Made me feel a bit more normal. More real.

“Alula managed to get me a job with the weather team. As soon as I can fly without breaking something, I’ll be working with Cloud Kicker’s group. Speaking of work, a friend of Alula and Firelock’s—Bee Bop—is working on an album and she asked Sweetie to do the vocals. They have their first recording session on Thursday, so that should be good for her. Sweetie’s been needing something to do. Aside from look after me, that is.” I chuckled at my own joke. I let out a long breath, I was running out of things to say, so instead of continuing I just sat back and closed my eyes and letting some of the rain land on my face. It was soothing.

I thought of Apple Bloom as I had known her, the foalhood we had shared. I remembered the day that me and Sweetie first met her. It had been at Diamond Tiara’s cutie ceañera. Me and Sweetie had resorted to hiding under one of the tables to avoid being made fun of, but when we had seen the other foals make fun of Apple Bloom, we had jumped to her aid. That day, the ‘Cutie Mark Crusaders’ were born, and thus started an epic two-year long quest to find our destinies.

I remembered the day that Apple Bloom got hers. I’d been doing a stunt on my scooter when I had a particularly bad crash. I was fine, but the scooter was busted. I was pretty upset, but seeing that made something in Apple Bloom click. She just grabbed some scrap from a nearby bin, and started fixing it. Within minutes, my scooter was as good as new!

That was the day she finally got her cutie mark, A crossed wrench and screwdriver. It was her destiny to build and fix things to help other ponies. I couldn’t even begin to count the amount of times she tinkered with my scooter after that, always making it better than before.

A fluttering caught my attention and I opened my eyes. A bird flew into my field of vision, snapping me out of my thoughts. I looked down at the little creature. It was light blue, and seemed to be watching me. We stared at each other for a few moments, and then the bird let out a chirp and flew off. I turned back to the grave, a thought springing to mind. “I’ve gotta go now, but thanks for listening, AB. I’ll stop by and talk to you again soon, okay?” There was, of course, no response. It didn’t matter. Just being able to talk like this brought me a sense of closure the funeral hadn’t. I turned and with one last glance at the grave, I trotted down the hill. It was time to visit the library.

* * *

“...remember this: Never, ever back down. Not even when the sun and moon fall, dragons start invading and the gates to Tartarus itself open. Never back down. Good luck, squirt. I love you.”

I sat on a sofa in the library, Rainbow’s grey recorder on a table in front of me. The pounding of rain against a window could be heard from where I was, it was a pretty bad storm out there. I clutched a mug of cocoa in my hooves, drinking from it deeply. Twilight Sparkle sat across from me, her face a whirlpool of emotions as the recording finished.

Slowly, she looked up at me, her purple eyes boring into my own. “...Where did you find this?” she asked. Her voice was weak, confused. I wasn’t really sure what I had expected to happen, but this wasn’t it.

“It was in Rainbow’s house, on the table.” I paused, trying to think of something else to say. “I… I just thought you should know,”

Twilight just closed her eyes, swaying for a few moments. Her wings kept on shifting, and there were a few times when i thought that she would simply collapse. Eventually, she opened her eyes again and walked towards me, stopping only about a metre away. I carefully placed down the cocoa, preparing myself to get shouted at or something.

“I missed her so much. When Rainbow left I had no idea what to do, and just when I finally get over her this pops up?” Not good. She paused. Tears glistened in her eyes, and then she broke into a huge smile. “Thank you so much, Scootaloo!” she exclaimed, pulling me into a hug. I was confused, but didn’t resist, simply hugging her back.

We remained like that for awhile, before Twilight pulled back, still crying a little. “Are you okay, Twilight?” She shook her head, the smile not fading one bit.

“No, no I’m not. I haven’t been okay for a long time, Scootaloo, but I’m certainly better. Because now I know, Rainbow really did love me, what we had did mean something.” she stopped a moment, taking in a deep breath. “And you know what else this means?” Twilight asked, seeming to get a hold of herself again.

“What?”

“She’s going to come back. Not once has Rainbow ever broken a promise. Not once. Don’t you worry, she will return.” I smiled at Twilight, I didn’t know whether or not I really believed her but it was a nice thought. Twilight walked back over to the sofa, taking a seat and gesturing for me to do the same.

We sat there for a while, our minds turning over what we had heard. I hadn’t really had much time to consider it the last time I’d heard the recording, I’d been a little busy getting attacked, but now I had a chance to really think over what I’d heard.

Rainbow said that she was on some super-secret mission for Equestria, but if that’s true why doesn't Twilight know about it? Isn’t she a princess? Where did she go, and why? The recording really brought more questions than it answered, but at least I knew that no matter what else, Rainbow had cared. I adjusted the goggles which now almost permanently rested on my head, and Twilight gave a little giggle.

“They suit you, you know?” she said, gesturing towards the goggles.

“Thanks Twilight.” We lapsed into silence for a few moments, before Twilight hesitantly began again.

“Listen, Scootaloo, I’m sorry.”

“About what?” I asked. Why would Twilight be sorry? She hadn’t done anything.

“I… I wasn’t there for you. When Rainbow left, I should have realised how much it would hurt you as well, she was your sister. I should have tried to help you, rather than just dwell on my own problems.” She looked away, unsure of what to say. I scooted closer, putting a hoof around the lavender mare.

“Hey, it’s fine. It was a rough time for us all, right?” I offered. It wasn’t fine, and honestly I wished that she had helped, but that was the past. Twilight was obviously trying to do better, just like I was, and we had to stick together.

“But I still could have done better. I was thinking, we were getting pretty close before Rainbow left, and I thought that maybe... we could try that sister thing? if you’d like to that is, I mea-” I cut her off with a far stronger hug. I felt tears in my eyes, but these were tears of happiness rather than misery. Twilight yelped a little, but soon hugged back.

“I’d love to,” I replied, grinning. I looked up at Twilight, who seemed to be sharing in my joy. She had a wide smile on her face and tears in her eyes.

“Would you like something to eat, Scootaloo?” She said after we had managed to calm down.

“That’d be great, thanks sis.” And so we got up and trotted into the kitchen, talking and laughing. We recounted our adventures of the past few years, we talked about Daring Doo and her latest exploits, we talked about absolutely anything, and it felt incredible. Sweetie Belle, Firelock, Alula, and now Twilight. I had love. I had friends. I had a sister. I had a family; and there was no way that I was going to ever let it go.

Author's Note

This is probably my least good chapter of the story. I don't know why but it always felt slightly off to me. Maybe it was Scoots' monologue? Maybe her conversation with Twilight? Ah well, hope you guys enjoyed it! Now we move onto the final chapter...

~DeepShift

Epilogue III: Perception

Perception

~~~

“Life is a matter of perception.”

~~~

Epilogue III: Perception

“Can I get a round of ciders?” I asked. The unicorn mare behind the bar nodded, smiling.

“Sure you can. You alright there? You look pretty down in the dumps,” she replied in a pretty voice. I smiled ruefully back.

“Eh, I’ll be fine. It’s just been a rough week, that’s all.” She raised an eyebrow as if asking me to continue as she grabbed a bottle in her aura. “It’s a pretty long story. In short, I lost a dear friend of mine along with my eye.” I gestured towards the now-grey orb. The mare smiled sympathetically.

“I’m sorry to hear that, but don’t worry about it. Life keeps on going, right? All you gotta do is make sure that tomorrow is better.” There was a calm wisdom to her words that struck a chord in me. I thanked her, then took the drinks and made my way back to the booth Firelock had gotten us towards the back of the club.

I had to navigate my way through a dance floor of writhing and stomping ponies, dancing to the beat of the music. A strong bass pumped through the floor as a cyan blue pegasus mare with a wild, yellow mane bobbed her head behind a set of turntables. This was Bee Bop, a good friend of Firelock and Alula’s who had been the one to get us the booth. She spared a grin my way as I passed her, which I returned. I hadn’t talked to her much, but Bee Bop seemed like a good pony.

Unfortunately, I found it hard to focus. My mind kept warning me that something was going to go horribly wrong. That nothing can ever go just fine. I’d come out to get away from the worries of the real world, but they seemed intent on following me. I pushed those thoughts aside as I finally made my way out of the crowd and approached the booth. I could deal with them later. Sweetie was sitting on one side of it, animatedly telling a story to a happy Firelock and Alula.

“So this one time I was performing the visual acuity test because the normal doctor was out. I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began, ‘Cover your right eye with your hoof.’ He read the twenty-twenty line perfectly. ‘Now your left.’ Again, a flawless read. ‘Now both,’ I requested. There was silence. He couldn't even read the large E on the top line. I turned and found out that he had done exactly what I had asked; he was sitting there with both his eyes covered. I was laughing too hard to finish the exam!” They burst out into laughter, and I couldn’t help but chuckle too.

I slid into the seat next to Sweetie and placed our drinks on the table. She smiled at me, shuffling a little closer and leaning into my shoulder.

“Here ya go girls, ciders for all!” I exclaimed. Firelock grinned back at me, raising a glass in her magical aura. Alula and Sweetie followed suit, and I hooked my own hoof around my drink. We clanked them together, and took a swig. Or rather, me and Firelock took a swig. Alula sipped it, and Sweetie managed to get one gulp before coughing and sputtering. She placed the drink down, her cheeks turning a bright red. I smiled at her, rubbing her back with my wing a little.

“Thanks,” she said after finishing her coughing fit.

“Not a problem. So, Firelock, you were gonna tell us about your plans for the whole Elkenheim thing weren’t you?”

“Yeah, I was. So I got to thinking, after all the stuff that’s happened over the last week or two, we could all really use some time away. So why don’t we go to Elkenheim? The music festival is starting in a few months.” Alula tilted her head for a second, before nodding.

“That actually sounds pretty wonderful. What about you two?” I thought about it for a moment. I’d only just got back to Ponyville—I didn’t really have all that much money. Still, if I worked pretty hard for the next few months, clocked some extra hours, I’d probably be able to do it. Besides, Firelock was certainly right about one thing: I really did need some time away. The stresses of the past two weeks were beginning to mess with me.

“Yeah, yeah I’m in. I’ll need to work some overtime but I should be able to afford it. Besides, I’ve always wanted to visit.”

“Well, I wouldn’t want to be left behind now would I?” Sweetie Belle added. “The music festival will be on! There isn’t a larger gathering of musicians anywhere!” I could practically feel the anticipation radiating from her. I loved it when Sweetie got excited about something, she always looked so adorable.

“Awesome, so we’ll go in June?” Firelock asked.

“Sounds good,” I replied, taking another drink. Firelock’s smile widened and I saw her mouth a small ‘yes!’ We sat there for a little while, drinking and talking about anything really. When we ran out of cider, Firelock and Alula volunteered to get the next round, leaving me and Sweetie alone. Finally I decided to voice the question which had been plaguing my mind since my awakening.

“Sweetie?”

“Mhm?” she replied, looking up at me.

“I was… thinking.” She sat up straight so that she could face me more directly. She knew just as well as anypony that I didn’t like to think, so what I was about to say must have been important. “It’s just, I don’t know if it’s a good idea to go into this relationship. I mean, I don’t think I’m even alive. Even worse, I’ve spent the last week hurting you. I’m not good enough for somepony as incredible as you, you deserve somepony bett—”

Sweetie cut me off with a kiss. She pulled back and smiled at me. “Scoots, you really don’t see the good do you? Yes, things have been tough since you arrived, but they would have been anyway. Without you here, I don’t think I would have been able to hold myself together. Just having you around makes me feel stronger.”

“But Sweetie, I’m not even alive, I’m a half-blind freak!” I replied, still convinced that Sweetie was simply too good for me. She shook her head, gently brushing a lock of hair away from my scarred eye.

“You aren’t a freak, Scoots. You are a wonderful mare who has had some awful things happen to her, and before you say it, I don’t want to be with anypony else. Ever since I was a filly I had a… a thing for you,” she said, blushing a little at the end.

“Really?” I asked her, baffled. I’d had no idea.

“Heh, yeah. You were just always so strong, so focused. You never gave up, no matter how hard things were at the time. They were always your best qualities. And even if they were buried for a while, you still haven’t lost them. I never said anything because I was afraid you’d hate me.”

Now it was my turn to kiss Sweetie. I pulled back, my mouth forming a small smile. “I could never hate you, Sweetie. You saved me from myself.” She blushed brightly, but didn’t hide. Instead she moved closer, laying her head in the crook of my neck.

“So, do you still want to date then?” she asked in a small, hesitant voice. I wrapped a wing around the pretty white unicorn, smiling.

“As long as you don’t mind the eye, then I’d love to.” Sweetie laughed a little at that, looking up and kissing me just above the eye. She pulled back, grinning widely. I had to admit, I was feeling pretty great too. It felt like a great shadow had been lifted, like my worries and fears were slowly being stripped away. Sweetie Belle was my candle in the darkness; with her by my side, I knew that I could face anything. I was… what was that word? Emancipated. Free—not entirely, but I was making a lot of progress. It felt good.

“Awh, look at you two!” Alula squealed from nearby. Sweetie scrambled back, sitting back and looking away casually. I chuckled and looked up to see Alula biting her hoof, her eyes shining. Firelock simply shook her head, carrying another set of drinks in her red aura. She gave Alula a small nudge, eliciting another squee from the frozen mare. She chuckled, her horn glowing brighter and creating a small flash in front of Alula’s face. She snapped back to the present, blushing as she quickly took a seat.

“So, you two have a deep heart-to-heart while we were gone?” Firelock asked with a knowing grin. I glanced across at the still blushing Sweetie Belle.

“Maybe a little bit. You’d have to ask Sweetie for the details, and she looks to be out of commission,” I replied. Firelock gave a laugh, taking a sip of her cider. I sat back, drinking my own as I thought. I considered all the changes that had overcome me since my confrontation with Gaurus. The more obvious physical changes, and the less obvious changes to my very character.

“What are ya thinking about, Scoots?” Firelock asked. I looked up, startled out of my thought. My mouth worked silently for a few moments, before eventually finding a way to voice my thoughts.

“Y’know, ever since I lost my eye, things have been getting clearer,” I said. Firelock raised an eyebrow, motioning with her hoof for me to continue. “I mean, before I just looked at stuff and they were there. That’s it. But now I’ve really gotta focus, I really have to see. It’s all about perception. Life, I mean.” I paused, looking around for something to help illustrate my point. “It’s like… like looking through a glass.” I picked up one of our empty glasses in my hoof, holding it up for the others to see. “When you look through a glass. It’s all blurry and messed up, the world just looks wrong. But if you take the time to clean it up, everything takes on this whole new appearance which you would have never seen before.” I chuckled. “Too bad it took me losing one eye to figure it out.”

“Since when did you get so introspective Scoots?” Sweetie asked. I smiled, nuzzling her.

“Since I fell in love with you,” I replied, earning a blush from her. Alula practically choked, her grin becoming so wide I thought her face might split in two. Firelock simply shook her head, reaching across with a hoof which I promptly bumped with my own.

“Damn you’re getting suave, Scoots,” she said.

“I learned from the best,” I replied. We shared a laugh, and she suddenly sat up a little straighter.

“I just want to say that you girls are the best friends I’ve ever had. Seriously, I don't know where I'd be without you all,” she stated, her voice dripping with emotion. My smile grew wider.

“Awh, Lockie!” Alula enveloped Firelock in a hug and I laughed. Firelock had been right—going to the club was a good idea. I glanced to my left and saw Sweetie staring at her hooves mouthing something. I wrapped a wing around her, startling the focused mare. She looked up and gave a small smile, leaning into the hug.

“So! How about we move on from our incredible sappiness onto some stories?” I asked. I heard a muffled response from Firelock which probably translated as a ‘yes’ or something similar. I hoped so anyway, because I was going to tell a story anyway. “Awesome, so you all remember m telling you about Daisy, right? Well I’d only recently arrived in Las Pegasus, and we were sitting in the back of the warehouse when this huge crate comes in…”

* * *

The night was drawing to a close. Slowly, ponies made their way off the dancefloor, leaving only us and a few other tables left alongside the staff. We were laughing at a story of Alula’s about one of her childhood Nightmare Nights when Bee Bop arrived at our table, a wide grin on her face. She was wearing a black jacket and some hoofbands, a set of headphones dangled around her neck. The cyan mare’s head still bobbed to some unheard music.

“Hey everypony, you girls have a good time?” she asked.

“Oh yes, it really was wonderful, Bee Bop. You’ve done a great job with this place. I think the opening night has gone extremely well,” Alula said, making the DJ’s grin widen even further.

“Yes! I really hope it did, It’s taken me quite a while to get this place set up. Oh and Sweetie, you still on for Thursday?”

“Of course! I can’t wait, Bee Bop,” Sweetie replied with her gorgeous smile. Sweetie’s smile was infectious and soon I found myself grinning too.

“Great, well I hope you girls had a great night—Luna knows you needed one. Anyway, we’ll be closing up now, so if you could all finish your drinks then that’d be cool.” I nodded, downing the rest of my cider in one great gulp. Firelock followed suit, Alula and Sweetie taking things a little bit slower. “Damn, Scootaloo. You know how to knock one back, huh?”

“Heck yeah!” I replied, wiping my mouth with a hoof. Bee Bop gave a laugh.

“Hey, we should go out drinking sometime? I’ll bet you have some great stories,” Bee Bop offered. I nodded at that.

“Yeah, actually that sounds pretty fun.”

“Awesome. Well I’ll leave you all to it. I think you have about fifteen minutes ‘til we close up.”

“Great. Thanks, Bee Bop,” Firelock said earnestly.

“Not a problem,” Bee Bop replied, turning back around and trotting towards one of the other tables which still had ponies on it. I sat back, happily considering the day. It seemed that my fears had been entirely unfounded. Maybe things didn’t always have to go wrong. Maybe—just maybe—things were going to start changing? I glanced across at Sweetie who was still sipping her drink and sighed.

Maybe it was time to finally let go of the past. I had spent so many years trapped in my own history, never moving on. Well, enough was enough. I may have wasted one life, but I wasn’t going to waste another. I was really going to do something with this one. I gave a little chuckle as a phrase came to mind. It seemed that my vision really was clearing up. Until now I had been seeing everything through a dirty glass, but now it was clean again and I could really see that as long as I worked hard at it, life could be incredible. All you had to do was see it. Life really was a matter of perception, and it was finally time for me to start looking. It was finally time to move on and make things better.

Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted the warped, Elysiate version of myself. The shade. She looked better: some of the scars criss-crossing her body had begun to heal, and she also now wore the same goggles which currently rested on my head. The shade smiled at me, pulling a mock salute before fading away. Maybe it wasn’t too late to save her, I thought with a small smile of my own. Maybe with the help of Sweetie, Firelock and Alula I would be able to heal more than just my physical wounds. It would be hard of course, there was no doubt about that. The shade had been right when she said that we’d get hurt. There was pain in the world, there was hate and anger.

A burst of laughter drew my attention back to the table. Alula had accidently swallowed the wrong way and ended up snorting her drink, spraying it back into the mug. I chuckled too. Sweetie looked up at me and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek.

Yes, there was pain and hatred and anger, but there were other things too. There was happiness, there was laughter, there was love. And no matter how hard the fight was, I knew that it would always be worth it. Life was a matter of perception after all. I could focus on the bad and end up just like the shade has been, or I could take a look from a different direction and see what really made life worth fighting for.

“I won’t give up, Rainbow. I promise,” I whispered, then turned my attention back to the present. Life wasn’t going to wait, and I didn’t want to miss a single second of it.

Author's Note

And here we have it. The end. This has been an incredible project, and I've genuinely enjoyed every moment of it. Over the course of the story I have fallen in love with every single one of my characters, and I can firmly say that this isn't the last we will be seeing of Scoots and the gang. The story is far from perfect and still needs editing, but It is also the greatest piece of work I have ever done. Perception has been a tale of many firsts, which--if you don't mind--I'd like to list here: Romance, Dark, Sad, First-person, Full-length story, Combat, Monologue, Death.

I can't thank you all enough for reading through to the end of this story, so I'll just have to settle for this little note. I hope that you've enjoyed Perception, and I hope that the story has been able to get across some of it's themes, maybe even help those of us who are still looking through a glass to clean it up.

Thanks for reading everybody, I'll see you later.

~DeepShift

Chapter 6: Mortality

Perception

~~~

“Weep not for the dead, for the dead feel no pain.

Instead, weep for the living, who heal to hurt again.”

~~~

Chapter 6: Mortality

I woke up to the chirping of birds. I groaned as I got up, stretching my back and shaking my head. I rubbed my eyes a little and looked around me. The sunlight reflected off the lake, giving it an almost magical look. I could see small fish swimming around just beneath the surface. The rest of the clearing around me looked just as it had the night before, but brighter.

I glanced back at Obelisk. It hadn’t changed. I didn’t really expect anything different, but still. A yawn sounded from nearby as Sweetie Belle awoke. I watched as she stretched out, her messy mane shimmering in the light. I felt heat rise to my cheeks as I felt my eyes moving down to examine her… cutie mark. Yes. Cutie mark. The heart and notes. Nothing else. Nope.

I shook my head again, dispelling less-than-appropriate thoughts. Seriously, Scootaloo? Not the time for this! When had I even started thinking like that? What had happened? What changed?

“Scootaloo, you okay? You look thoughtful.” I glanced back at the gorgeous mare, and felt the heat returning.

“Uh, yeah. Yeah I’m cool, really cool. Very, incredibly cool.” What the heck? She raised an eyebrow, and I grinned.

“You sure?” I nodded vigorously, and she seemed to accept it. “Do you have any idea what time it is?” Good, a distraction. I glanced up at the sky, the sun was already pretty high.

“It looks like it’s past midday, maybe two?” Jeez, we’ve been here awhile. Guess I really was tired. Maybe I should try and actually sleep more...

“Hm, well we’d better get back to Ponyville. I need to check up on the house. I have this awful feeling that It burned down while we were out, and I’m sure Alula would like to tell you when you start work.” I nodded at that, and began to wash my face in the lake. It had been a while since I’d been able to take a shower, and I really wanted to cool myself down. Once my head resurfaced I glanced back at Sweetie.

“Hey, Sweetie, where do you work?” I asked. I really had no idea.

“Oh, I work part-time as a nurse in the hospital. I’ve been given leave recently due to… well, you know. Anyway, aside from that I do a bit of singing but it’s really hard to find work in the music industry.” I nodded, having heard that from many people. This one griffon back in Las Pegasus had apparently also been a pianist, but couldn’t get a job anywhere, so was stuck in the warehouse guarding crates nopony gave a damn about.

“Huh, nurse work. I don’t know why, but I always pegged you as doing something like that.” Sweetie raised an eyebrow gesturing with a hoof for me to continue. “It’s like you always want to help everypony, so there’s really no better thing for you to do. Aside from singing of course.”

“Well, thanks,” Sweetie said, smiling. “Anyway, come on, let’s get moving. Would you be okay with flying me or…?” I shook my head.

“No, no. I’m fine. I can’t really move on if I don’t start using these things again,” I replied, spreading my wings.

“Alright, well are we ready?” she asked. I nodded and with a kick, jumped into the sky. I flew forward, grabbing Sweetie Belle in my forelegs, then we were off, soaring up into the sky again. We blasted through the canopy and levelled out. Ponyville stood in the distance.

I smiled. I had forgotten how incredible it felt to be up in the air. Yesterday my mind had been fogged up with worries, but today felt far clearer. I could really appreciate the wind in my face. It had been too long since I had used my wings, far too long.

It wasn’t long before we touched down near Sweetie Belle’s house. Sweetie gasped again as we touched down. She still hadn’t gotten over how awesome flying was. I walked up to the door as she steadied herself on one of the posts. Just as I was about to open it, I noticed a piece of paper attached to it. Cautiously, I retrieved the note and brought it over to Sweetie.

“What does it say?” she asked. I rolled my eyes, waving around my head to point out that the note was in my mouth. “Right, sorry,” she chuckled awkwardly, taking it into her aura.. She cleared her throat and began to read.

“Miss S. Belle.

I came to fetch you earlier, but you were not available. Please visit the hospital as soon as possible, there has been a development with Apple Bloom. Also, if you know where Miss Scootaloo is currently staying, bring her too.

Nurse Redheart.”

My eyes widened as Sweetie read. “Do… do you think that she’s…?” I left the sentence hanging, unable to speak those awful words.

Sweetie Belle grimaced. “I don’t know, but we better go find out. Come on.”

* * *

We arrived at the hospital within twenty minutes. My heart was thumping in my chest. I couldn’t stop thinking over the possibility that my friend might be dead. Sweetie Belle walked ahead of me, pushing open the double-doors of the building. Ahead of us stood Nurse Redheart, who was talking to a doctor. He glanced over at us, and suddenly his face became neutral. Redheart noticed us around the same time, but couldn’t hold back her grimace.

No…

The doctor put down the clipboard he had been holding and turned to face us. He straightened his glasses and shook his grey mane slightly before speaking.

“Good afternoon, Miss Belle, Miss Scootaloo. How are things today?” he asked in a smooth, professional tone. Sweetie raised an eyebrow and I snorted in frustration. He sighed. “Skipping the pleasantries are we? Very well. You two may want to take a seat.” Sweetie complied, I stared at him for another moment, before sitting down with her.

“What’s happened, Doctor?” Sweetie Belle asked. He sighed, and turned to Nurse Redheart.

“Would you mind fetching me some water?”

“Sure, not a problem,” she replied, walking off with a surprising amount of speed.

“Alright then, down to business. It is my deep regret to inform you that Miss Apple Bloom passed away last night at approximately eleven-thirty. Her right lung was pierced when she was shot, and the other couldn’t keep up under the strain. I am very sorry for your loss.”

That was it.

Apple Bloom was dead.

At first, I felt nothing. Just a pang of emptiness in my heart. Then there came a throbbing pulse of anger, misery, desperation. I was bombarded with every single negative emotion in the book. My muscles began to twinge, I wanted to hit something, tear something apart!

I couldn’t stay here.

Sweetie Belle was crying; I wanted to hold her, comfort her, but I couldn’t. I was afraid that I might hurt her and there was no way I’d be able to live with myself if I did. Slowly, mechanically, I stood up. I began walking towards the doors.

“S-Scoots? Where are you going?” Sweetie asked in between sobs. I didn’t say anything. “Scootaloo? Please, talk to me!” I began walking faster and within seconds I was running. I shot out the double-doors at full sprint, and with a flap of my wings I was off.

I tore through the skies, tears blurring my vision. I didn’t know where I was flying, and I frankly didn’t give a shit. Apple Bloom was dead—nothing else mattered right now. Now I’d never be able to make things right. I’d never be able to go and tinker on random tech with her again. She was gone.

My mind was knocked back to the dream I’d had.

Why should you live while they die?

She was right, why did I deserve to live when somepony like Apple Bloom died? What gave me the right to survive? Why didn’t I just off myself and make things right? I was a monster, a traitor. Apple Bloom had been kind and thoughtful, always putting others first, always working to make the world better. My anger swelled like a volcano within me.

I came to a stop over a small hill. In front of me floated a building I hadn’t ever expected to see again. It was a large, elegant house sculpted out of clouds. It floated high above the ground, waterfalls of rainbow pouring off of it. The house looked almost like a small palace, but that wasn’t important. What was important was whose house it was. This was where Rainbow Dash had once lived.

It was as good a place as any to be right now. At least this way, nopony would bother me. I needed to be alone. Without a second thought I shot towards the house. I had barely touched the soft floor of it before I threw the door open and yelled. I poured out my anger, turning to the sofa and pounding my hooves into it’s soft surface.

I screamed and shouted, throwing all of my hate and rage into each and every blow. Eventually, my punches began to weaken then stopped altogether, my energy and anger expended. All that was left within me was a sea of misery. Slowly I breathed out a single word.

“Fuck.” It felt good to say the word. I repeated it a few more times, before slumping down onto the couch I had just tried to destroy. At length, I looked up. The room looked as if nopony had touched it since Rainbow left all those years ago. It was still in that same state of organised chaos, seemingly random pieces of junk scattered all over yet always where Rainbow left them.

Her copies of the ‘Daring Do’ series were piled in the same corner they had always been. The crown she had received for the winning Best Young Flyers competition sat on the head of a sculpture. From the ceiling hung a familiar purple banner displaying the crescent moon, next to it a picture of Rainbow and Princess Luna next to each other at a bar somewhere, grinning and bumping drinks together. The two had been good friends, especially so when Rainbow joined the night guard.

Speaking of the guard…

Out of the corner of my eye, I spied a beautifully crafted set of plate armour on a pegasus mannequin. It was a deep, dark purple, broken up by plates of lavender and silver. The armour covered more than most, providing extra armour over the legs, but I knew from what Rainbow had told me that it was also considerably lighter than most suits of it’s size. Attached to the boots were bladed claws which looked sharp enough to slice straight through stone. In the centre of the suit sat a single, blue eye: The symbol of the Night Guard.

This had been a gift to Rainbow from Princess Luna for joining the Night Guard after her attempted assassination, Rainbow had luckily been there at the time and saved her life. After that occurrence, Rainbow had left the Wonderbolts to protect her friend and Princess. No matter what else anypony may or may not have thought about her, nopony could deny that Rainbow truly was the element of loyalty.

I turned my attention away from the armour, and began to take in the rest of the room. There was a small table in front of the sofa, and a little further away sat a wooden dresser. In the dresser was a picture of Rainbow and Twilight, laughing together. Next to that one, a picture of Rainbow and Fluttershy back when they were fillies. Further along stood a picture of me and Rainbow, the same one I had in my bags, and next to that was another of an older me and Rainbow, her hoof around me as we stood on a cloud somewhere high up.

Taped to the mirror were even more pictures: one of Rainbow in her guard armour, another of her and her friends, there were so many! The strangest thing, however, was a small, crimson pistol lying directly in front of the mirror. It had the wrong grip to have been made for a pony, and looked far too brutal to be pony-made anyway. It had a long, jagged blade next to it which looked as though it was meant to be attached to it.

If that wasn’t strange enough, leaning against the wall next to the door I had come through was a long-barrelled sniper rifle with a large scope. It looked heavy, and seemed as though a single shot from it could probably punch through a sky-tank. Next to the weapon sat a large box of ammo, and a screwdriver. I supposed that since Rainbow had been in the military, she probably did have some weaponry here, but why did they have such strange grips?

I moved on to her closet to find that, although almost everything else had been left here, her favourite brown’ jacket was gone. It looked almost as if that was the only thing she took with her. The only other item of clothing in it was a grey fedora, which hung from a hook next to where the jacket would have been. I trotted out of the closet, finally noticing a pair of flight goggles, which sat on top of a large tape recorder that had been left on the table. In front of it was a small note.

I trotted closer and examined the note.

‘Scootaloo, press play,’ it read. I glanced up at the tape recorder, carefully moving the pair of goggles so that I could see the buttons. Hesitantly, I reached forward and pressed the one marked ‘Play.’ Immediately I heard the grainy sound of somepony moving around junk, and then a sigh as the pony—definitely a mare—sat down.

“Hey there, squirt. How are you doing?” asked the distinctive voice of Rainbow Dash. She chuckled a little, though I could tell it was forced.

“Damn, I hope you get this soon. I didn’t think of doing this until after we talked, but I figure you’re bound to come here sooner or later, right? Either way, I hope things are going awesome for you right now. Me? Well, I’ll let you in a little secret I didn’t tell you last time I saw you.” She lowered her voice to a conspiratorial stage-whisper. “I’m actually on a super-important mission out of Equestria, it’s extra hush-hush so don’t go telling anypony!” She laughed again, then sighed.

“Seriously though, I’m really sorry it had to be like this, Scoots. I know what you must be thinking. I mean you finally had a sister, you were going on to the academy, and then I just up and run off! What kind of sister does that, huh? A pretty crappy one if you ask me. But this is really important Scoots, really important. I know it doesn't justify this, but I hope that it helps make things a little easier for you.” I felt tears begin to blur my vision again.

“Anyway, I promise you this, Scoots, I know I’ve said it already but as soon as I can I’m going to come back, and we’re going to go fly together, and then I’m going to take you on a little adventure, just me and you. Then… well then, we’ll see what happens, but I’m going to come back, okay? And if I don’t, I just want you to know that I love you. I love you so much. You’re the best kid I’ve ever met, and you deserve a happy life. And… if it’s not too much, can you tell Twilight that I love her too? I know it’s coming a little late, but better late than never, right?” She gave a small snort.

“I’m rambling again aren’t I? Sorry, I’m not really used to this. Heck, I feel like a complete idiot saying all this sappy stuff to a freakin’ grey box.” She sniffed, and I thought she was going to cry, but she just breathed out a long sigh before continuing. “I’m leaving all of my stuff to you, Scoots. Everything in this house is yours—you deserve it. I don’t know if I’m going to be coming back, so I want to know that somepony awesome will be taking care of it. I’ve left Tank with Fluttershy, but I’d like you to take care of him too if you can. I need somepony I can trust watching the little guy. Oh, and Scootaloo? These goggles right here?” I heard a tapping sound which I assumed were the goggles.

“These were mine, ever since they were given to me by my mom. I want you to have them, I want to know they’ll be with somepony who will take good care of them. I can’t think of anypony better than you.” She coughed, and I heard her shifting about. “Heh, this is starting to get kinda long, and I really can’t stay. But before I go, Scoots I just want to say this: Never stop trying. There are gonna be times in life where you screw up and things just never go right, but you can’t live in the past. You’ve gotta keep fighting til’ the last damned breath, and even past it. I know this because I’ve made far more mistakes than I care to admit. But it’s really important you don’t lose sight of what you live for. Your friends—Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, Firelock. They need you. And even when things are really rough, when you just wanna lie down and give up, remember this: Never, ever back down. Not even when the sun and moon fall, dragons start invading and the gates to Tartarus itself open. Never back down.” She paused, and I heard her moving again. “Good luck, squirt. I love you.” There was a click, and then the recording was over.

I sat there for Goddesses know how long, just staring at the recorder. Rainbow really had cared about me—she’d left me everything. Even her goggles, which had meant so much to her. I reached forwards and stroked them. They were worn, old and battered. And they were mine.

I felt… confused. The sadness at Rainbow’s departure remained, but it was tempered by happiness, knowing that all along she really had loved me. Eventually I stood up, ready to leave. I had a message to deliver, and a friend to apologise to.

Just as I was about to leave, I heard the soft rasp of a weapon being pulled out of its sheath. I shifted myself to turn around, but before I could face whoever was behind me, I was engulfed in a storm of feathers and steel.

Author's Note

Endgame has begun.

I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, it's the official turning point of the story where things really start happening. Rainbow's monologue was pretty fun to write, and truth be told this scene was one of my earliest concepts for Perception. We also have the first real hints of romance on Scoots' part, so that's cool. Anyway, I hope you guys are ready because next chapter things reach their climax, sorta. Prepare yourselves.

~DeepShift