Chapters Chapter 1: Through the 4th Wall
"You guys are completely insane, you know that?"
I watched as my two friends jammed out to some song called Winter Wrap Up for the third time in a row. It was another one of their stupid brony songs. My friends, Axel and Brycen, are two huge bronies. Brycen is around six feet tall, about the same as me. He's slightly larger than me, and was the only one of us that needed glasses. Then there was Axel, who is about half a foot taller than us. Not only was he taller than us, but he was also the only one of us to have a car or a girlfriend. Although I'm certain that she thinks that him being a brony is just as strange as I do. Normally, I don't really care about them being bronies, but when I'm forced to listen to this stupid pony music, that's when it starts to annoy me. We're on our way to Axel's house for a bro night. Plenty of wings, Mountain Dew, and Xbox. Normally, I'd be excited right now about getting to enjoy a good night, but the unbearable music that Axel was blasting in his car while he drove was making that pretty hard.
"Come on Morgan, you can't tell me that you don't like Winter Wrap Up even a little bit," Brycen asked me as he looked back to the back seat where I was sitting. "You got to admit, this song is pretty sweet."
"It was ok the first time that you guys played it, but now it's annoying the living hell out of me. Could you guys please put on something else?"
I could see Axel grin through the reflection on the rear view mirror.
"Well since you asked so nicely."
Axel pressed a button on his radio and a new song came on, and once again they both began to sing along as soon as it began.
"My name is Pinkie Pie! And I am here to say, I'm gonna make you smile, and I will brighten up your day!"
I sighed.
"Kill me now."
After another 10 grueling minutes of pony music, we finally made it to Axel's house. As soon as we pulled into his driveway, I threw open the car door and jumped out, automatically turning off the car radio in the process.
"Freedom! Dear sweet lord freedom at last!"
Brycen stepped out of the passenger seat.
"Kind of overdoing it, don't you think Morgan?"
"Coming from one of the guys that played non stop My Little Pony music for 30 minutes?"
"Fair enough."
Axel also stepped out of the car after turning it off. He motioned for us to head on inside.
"Gentlemen, shall we?"
We walked into his house, automatically greeted by the lemony scent of his house, and the sight of pictures of Axel and his family on the walls. I made a bee line straight for his bedroom to jump right into the Xbox playing. I needed some good old fashioned videogame violence and fun to clear my mind of the music I had just been subject to. The room was no different than how it usually is. There were various videogame posters hanging from the walls, dirty laundry and clothes hangers resting on his bean bag chair, and empty cans of Mountain Dew on the shelf where his pictures and mirror were. As I looked around the room, however, I noticed a distinct lack of an Xbox. Then I looked back to see both Brycen and Axel standing behind me with their arms crossed.
"Actually Morgan, we have something in mind for you before we start with the videogames," Axel said to me. "Brycen, administer the DVD."
Brycen walked over to Axel's DVD player and put in a disc. He then turned on the TV as the DVD started up.
"What is this?"
"What this is, Morgan, is an experiment. We have a DVD for you to watch," Brycen told me.
I looked back to the TV screen, as a logo for Hasbro was popping up. Hasbro? They can't be...
"No way guys. I watched the damn pony show twice now."
"Correction," Axel said. "You've attempted to watch it twice. You quit early each time before the episode could get really good. Brycen and I thought it over, and we've decided that it's time that you finally give the show a full chance."
The first commercial on the DVD came on the TV. It was a commercial for an older generation of the My Little Pony cartoon. Both of my friends looked at the commercial in horror and quickly pressed the skip button on the DVD remote, making a commercial for the current cartoon that they loved come on, and then they turned back to me.
"This here is Axel's copy of The Friendship Express," Brycen told me. "It has five episodes on it. You're going to sit through each episode to decide once and for all if you like it or not."
"And what makes you think I'm actually going to sit through this garbage?"
"Simple. If you sit through all of these episodes without quitting, and still don't like it, then we'll never mention the show to you again," Axel told me.
Never hearing about the show from them again? That was too good to pass up. Five episodes on the DVD would amount to a little over an hour and a half. Sounds about fair for never having to watch it again afterwards.
"If it means you guys are never going to annoy me about it again, fine. What are the two of you going to do while I watch this though?"
"Well, we've got to run by the store and get some snacks and drinks. Then we've got to go pick up a pizza, and rent some videogames. By the time we get back from doing all of that, the DVD should be over," Axel stated.
"Fine. Let's get this over with then."
"Alrighty. Brycen, begin the pony."
Brycen pointed the remote at the DVD player and pressed the play all option, and the first episode on the disc began. It started with a very girly looking storybook thing. This was going to be lamer than I thought.
"Enjoy dude. See you in a bit."
After Axel said this, he and Brycen left me there to myself to watch the show. I heard them go out the front door, and pull out of the driveway. The thoughts of leaving the room, or stopping the DVD and watching TV instead immediately occurred to me, but I decided not to. Knowing those two, they would probably quiz me about the episodes when they got back, so I ought as well get this over with now. As the cringeworthy intro theme started, I took a seat on the bed and braced myself for whatever the DVD had in store for me.
First two episodes are done now. They were alright I guess, but nothing really special. Certainly nothing to convince me to be a brony. Only three episodes left. Hopefully they go by quickly. The next episode was now starting. The country pony was making her friends help her take a tree to her cousins or something like that. Her putting the tree under covers and taking care of it was kind of funny, but still nothing that great. Here comes that god awful intro theme again. Whoever came up with that thing deserves jail time.
As the episode went along for a bit, they had some buffalo, and they kidnapped the tree and the dragon. The blue pony and pink pony went after them, and met up with the buffalo. I kind of do like the pink one, but only because she's so over the top. Still nothing good enough to make me a permanent fan of the show. The buffalo and country ponies are in an argument over owning land. I'll give the people who make the show credit, a cowboys and Indians type feud isn't something you'd normally see in an average little girl's show, but again, it was nothing spectacular. That pink pony has some kind of way to resolve the problem it seems. The dragon is wearing a hat for no reason at all and at a piano.....oh god, she's going to sing again isn't she?
"We may be divided, But of you all, I beg. To remember we're all hoofed, at the end of each leg. "
That would be a yes.
So the pink pony is now dancing around singing to the buffalo and cowboy ponies that they have to share and have to care. The song sounds pretty lame, so I find it funny that the audience in the show looks like they at least think the same thing about it. Also, what's up with her outfit in this song? That doesn't look like something any little girls should think about wearing. Now the song is over and the leader buffalo and sheriff pony are in an agreement. That was the worst thing they've ever heard? Wow the show actually got me to laugh.
"Ha, I can't believe the characters are actually aware of how bad the singing is."
"Hey, it wasn't that bad!"
I froze. Who the hell just said that? I looked at the TV and the pink pony was now looking straight at the screen. It looked a lot like she was looking at me.
"Ok....I must be going crazy right now. Yeah that's it. Watching this show has been so unbearable that I'm going crazy."
"Now you listen here mister smarty pants, I think my singing is pretty darn good."
The cartoon horse was for sure talking to me.
"Yep, I've gone crazy."
"You haven't gone crazy silly! You're just talking to me."
Now this was starting to get freaky. It seemed so real, but this had to be some kind of hallucination. I wasn't really talking to her....was I?
"You can really see and hear me? I'm really talking to a cartoon right now?"
"No, my name isn't "A Cartoon" you silly head. It's Pinkie Pie!"
"This is insane. This can't be real."
"Of course it is! Hey, how about I bring you in here and show you Equestria. Ooooh, wouldn't that be exciting? What do you say?"
"Huh? I...wha-"
I was cut off by the surprise of the hyperactive pink pony literally jumping through the TV screen and landing in Axel's room. She was pretty tall, probably reaching up to my chest.
"Come on, lets go!"
I didn't have time to respond as Pinkie Pie jumped behind me, and pushed me towards the TV. Rather than hiting the screen, I went through it just like she had done. I was freaking out, and before I knew it, everything around me went black.
Brycen and I were finally back from getting stuff for the night. It had been about an hour and fifty minutes, so the DVD should have been just now ending. I'm almost positive that Morgan is a brony by now. I got out and carried in the bags of snacks and video games, while Brycen carried in the pizza and drinks. We walked into the house and set the stuff down in the kitchen. I ran to my bedroom, eager to see if Morgan had enjoyed the episodes.
"Hey dude, we're back! So how did you like the-"
I stopped. The DVD menu was going normally, but Morgan was nowhere to be seen. Brycen walked in behind me and also noticed our friend's absence.
"Axel.....where's Morgan at?"
"I don't know man, check the house. He should be around here somewhere. I'll check outside."
We fanned out and searched for Morgan. We looked for hours, checking the whole block for our friend, but for some reason, he seemed to have completely vanished. I called his family, and they had not seen him either. Something was wrong. Brycen and I were starting to worry that something had happened to him.
"Axel, dude, where do you think he could be?"
"I....I don't know. He isn't here, he isn't at his parent's, heck, I don't even think he's in this city right now."
"Well if he isn't here.......where is he?"
Chapter 2: Welcome to Equestria
After the pink pony pushed me through the television, the world felt like it was spinning around me, and there were all sorts of colors flashing around as well. There was a loud whooshing sound in my ears, and I felt like I was free falling. I just closed my eyes after a bit, waiting for the spinning to stop.
This all felt like some kind of really messed up dream. I was scared of what was going to happen when I opened my eyes again. Will I wake up, and see that this really is all just some tripped out nightmare? I mean it has to be. How can a cartoon horse talk to me through a DVD, how can she jump into the human world, and how can she push me back through the TV? It just can't be real. Can it?
In my thinking, I didn't notice that the spinning and falling feeling had stopped. The whooshing sound was gone too. Now all I could hear was.....well I actually couldn't hear anything. My eyes were still shut tight. I seriously didn't know what to expect when I opened them. As much as I'd like to believe that this is a dream, it feels way too real. It felt like I was laying on grass. Wherever I may be, it felt like it was at least safe now. I guess it's now or never then. Time to open my eyes.
The first thing I could see was a big blue sky. Perfectly normal looking actually. Just a nice blue sky, with some clouds scattered throughout it. There was also a big bright sun. I could feel the warmth from it, and it felt pretty nice. Something about the sky seemed a bit off though. Everything seemed a bit too......colorful. And after I lifted my head up, it made sense as to why.
At first glance, everything around me looked normal. I saw some trees, some birds, and indeed grass all around me. But the thing about everything was that it all looked too colorful and bright. Like something out of a cartoon.........oh crap.
Before that pink pony had jumped into Axel's room, she asked me if I wanted to come into her world. Then she pushed me through the TV. Now it was pretty clear to me where I'm at. I'm in the world of My Little Pony.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
A yelled as loud as I possibly could, sending all the nearby animals scattering away from my location. Not like I care. I was not only stuck in the world of a cartoon, away from home, my friends, and family, but I was stuck in the world of a cartoon I despise. Being forced into here didn't make me hate it any less. This can't be happening to me. This can't be happening...
"Hey! There you are. I've been looking all over for you."
I jolted my head up to see the source of the voice. Even in this colorful cartoon world, it was someone actually pretty familiar to me. After all, not too long ago she had just pushed me through a freaking television. It was that pink pony. Pinkie Pie, if I remember correctly. She was happily skipping straight over to me, grinning from ear to ear. Considering my situation, seeing how happy she was to see me here ticked me off even more.
"Sorry about that, looks like I lost you on the way back through the fourth wall."
She flashed me a great big smile. All I could do is just look at her, dumbfounded by her words.
"Well I can see you're still pretty shocked, so let me be the first to welcome you to the great world of Equestria!"
She smiled at me even more. Naturally, all that it was accomplishing was making me angrier.
"So what do you think?"
"What do I think? WHAT DO I THINK? You just forced me into the world of a cartoon that I hate with a passion, and you're asking me WHAT I THINK ABOUT IT? I'm FURIOUS, that's what I think."
She was pretty taken back after I said all of that. She had a sad and surprised look on her face. Obviously she wasn't expecting me to react such a way, for whatever reason.
"Huh? But I see humans like you watching us all the time. I thought you guys loved watching us?"
"Oh you mean the bronies? Yeah, those guys do love watching you. Like my two idiotic friends. They wanted me to watch this terrible show, even though I've already tried to watch it before. They promised me that if I just watched the five episodes on their DVD, they wouldn't mention it any more, and there was no way I was going to pass up never hearing about this garbage again. Obviously I had made the worst mistake of my life, because now I've just been forced into this crappy excuse for a show by some stupid pink horse! Why did this have to happen to me? Why did-"
My voice gradually became quiet as Pinkie began to cry. Her eyes shimmered, oversaturated with tears, until finally, she burst into that classic cartoonish cry: lots of wailing, waterfalls of tears, the works. Even though I found it amusing to watch, at the same time I felt bad for making her cry.
"Hey, come on now, don't cry. Sorry about snapping like that, I'm just really shocked by everything that's going on right now. This isn't exactly normal for me."
She stopped crying but still looked quite sad when she looked at me.
"But you said you hate watching us."
"Well I'm not going to lie. No, I do not like this show. It just isn't my kind of thing. It all seems too girly. Yeah, there's millions of other guys back in my world that love this show, but no I don't really care for it myself."
She sighed and looked at the ground below her somberly.
"I can't believe that millions of your kind of people like watching us, and the one time that I finally bring one of them in here to see Equestria for themselves, it's somepony who doesn't like it."
That made me think. It really was quite the thought. There are probably millions of bronies in the human world that would give anything to get to spend time with these ponies, and the only time someone does get to see them, it's me. An anti-brony. As frustrating as it was to be forced into this world and away from home, that actually couldn't help but make me laugh.
"Ha, take that bronies! Maybe coming here isn't so bad after all."
"Really?"
Now Pinkie Pie was looking at me with her previous extremely happy smile again, which made me chuckle to myself.
"Sure. Just wait till I rub it in Axel and Brycen's faces that I got to come into the My Little Pony world. It'll be priceless."
"That sounds kind of mean don't you think? If they're your friends, why try to rub something in their faces? Unless it's cake of course. I mean, who DOESN'T like cake? Oooooh, or maybe some pie or cupcakes? No no wait, how about pudding? Everypony loves pudding, And what about-"
"Alright Pinkie, I get it."
"Well the point is, if they're your friends, why not try to make them smile instead? I love making my friends smile. I even made a song about it! Want to hear it?"
"NO!"
She started to look sad again so I had to quickly correct myself.
"I mean, I've already heard it actually. Brycen and Axel had me listen to it back home."
That brought the smile back to her face.
"Really? It's good to know that somepony appreciates my super duper singing."
She nudged me, referencing to the comment I made while watching the DVD to get attention in the first place.
"Yeah, those bronies really love all the songs. You can take my word on that. And anyway, it's not that I'm trying to be mean to make my friends unhappy, it's just that they kind of force their opinions about the show on me so much that it starts to annoys me sometimes. It'll be kind of fun making them jealous that I got to come here."
"Well alrighty then. If that's how it is, then I'll bet they'll be ultra mega jealous when they see that you got to be a pony too!"
That made my eyes grow wider than they ever have in my whole life.
"A pony?"
"That's right silly! You did notice that you're a pony now didn't you?"
I looked down, and was horrified to see that what Pinkie Pie was telling me wasn't a joke. Back home I was around six feet tall, rather skinny, with a buzz cut. But when I looked down, instead of seeing my body, I saw fur. I had a dark brown coat for a body, and it was a little bit larger than Pinkie's body, probably because of the gender difference.
I then looked down at my feet, or at least where my feet used to be, to see two hooves in their place. I held out my hands to see that they too had been transformed into pony hooves. I'm a pony......time to freak out again.
"Holy freaking crap! How the hell am I a pony? How is this even possible?"
The hyperactive pink pony shrugged.
"Not really sure actually. I guess your body changes to the form of whatever kind of creatures live in the world you go to when you move throughout different dimensions."
"Well if that's true then how come you didn't turn into a human when you jumped into my world?"
She shrugged once again.
"Probably because the laws of physics and logic don't like me very much. I'm like an exception to their rules! But you get to be a pony now!"
"This is insane."
I thought about how my face must look like. I usually had regular green eyes and normal sized features as a human. But looking at Pinkie Pie, I knew my face had to look drastically different right now.
"Alright, I need to see my reflection so that I can see my face. Is there a lake or something nearby that I can look at?"
"Hold on, let me just go get you a mirror!"
Pinkie Pie rushed off in a quick pink blur. I had already lost sight of wherever she had just jolted off too. Suddenly, she then reappeared behind me, and held out a mirror in her hooves.
"Here you go!"
"What the- how the heck did you do that?"
"Do what?"
"You just darted off to go get a mirror. How are you already back?"
"I didn't have to go far. I had a mirror stashed in a tree pretty close to here. I have mirrors stashed around all of Ponyville, in case of mirror related emergencies."
That sounded pretty ridiculous, but I had to remember that I'm in a cartoon world. No use in arguing with her. The point was, she had the mirror, so I should go ahead and get a good look at myself.
Looking into the mirror, the first thing I noticed was my new face. My eyes were huge in comparison to my human eyes. They were just as big as Pinkie's eyes, with green iris'. The color of the iris' were the same as they used to be, but as a cartoon pony, they were obviously now much larger. I had a short snout where my mouth, jaw, and nostrils were. I guess it looked somewhat normal when compared to the ponies of this world.
Then, I noticed my hair. Rather than having a buzz cut like I did back home, I had a short mane. It didn't go past my ears, and it was a little bit spiky. It was a dark blonde like my hair used to be as a human, but it was a more cartoony looking shade of blonde.
Finally, there was one more detail about my new appearance caught my attention most of all. Tucked down on my back were two wings. I didn't feel them on my back at first, but there they were, clear as day. I guess that made me a pegasus.
It was incredibly odd to look at my reflection and see myself as a pony, rather than a human. When I first opened my eyes here, I was so taken back by this cartoon world that I failed to notice my appearance, but now it was all that was on my mind. The weirdest thing to feel about it were the hooves. It's a drastically different feeling to have hooves instead of hands and feet. I had just been siting up this whole time, but now I should try to stand up and test my hooves.
I sat my front hooves down on the ground and pushed up to plant my back hooves on the ground as well. My back legs were pretty shaky, but I finally balanced myself and stood up regularly, or at least regular for a pony.
"Hey, not bad. You're a pretty quick learner, um...."
The pink pony suddenly gasped very loudly. It sounded like the gasp she did in the first episode on the DVD.
"Oh my gosh! I can't believe I forgot one of the most super duper important parts of meeting somepony new. I was so excited about bringing you into Equestria that I didn't ask you what your name was!"
"Oh, um, my name's Morgan."
"Well Morgan, I am Pinkie Pie, party pony extraordinaire, pastry chef, and friend to everypony in all of Ponyville!"
She put out her hoof as if asking for a hand shake, but that was obviously impossible to do with our hooves. I then remembered the brohoof thing that Axel and Brycen always did, and I decided that I should do that, so I lifted up one of my front hooves and extended it to touch Pinkie's.
"So I see that you're a pegasus Morgan. That's going to be so exciting. Just think, you're going to get to be able to fly!"
Now that actually did sound pretty awesome. It's not like flying was something I could possibly do back home. I immediately started to search for the muscles to control my wings. I flexed various muscles in my back until I finally flexed the one that made the right wing jolt up. I flexed a muscle on the other side of my back to make the other wing also lift up. As I tried flexing the muscles more, however, all it accomplished was making my wings move around in an awkward manner. I had no earthly idea how to work them correctly.
"Looks like these things will take some getting used to."
"That's alright! I know just the pegasus who can have you flying like a pro in no time. In fact, I think it's time that we got out of this field and went to Ponyville so you can meet everypony! And I do mean everypony. You can meet Twilight, and Dashie, and Fluttershy, and Applejack, and Rarity, and Spike, and the Cakes, and Lyra, and Bon Bon, and Derpy, and-"
"Ok Pinkie, I get it. I'll get to meet everyone."
She gave me a curious look.
"You mean everypony. You're not going to meet everyone, you're going to meet everypony."
"Do I really need to say it like that?"
"Oh yes sir! We speak differently here than you must back in your world."
"Alright so basically all I have to do is say everypony, somepony, nopony, etc instead of everyone, someone, and no one?"
"Yep yep yep!"
"Ugh, lame. But I can live with that."
"So you ready to go meet everypony now Morgan?"
She was looking at me very excitedly, obviously eager to introduce me to the ponies of this new world. I still didn't really like the situation I was in knowing my friends would probably be worrying about me soon when they return to see that I'm not in Axel's room anymore. I was going to need to find a way back home, and show them that I'm ok, but I'd have to worry about that later. Maybe one of the ponies that Pinkie Pie would introduce me to would know a way how to get me home.
"Yeah, I'm ready as I'll ever be."
"Okie Dokie Lokie!"
She turned and started skipping off towards the exit of the field. I followed her, awkwardly getting used to walking with hooves instead of legs, and slowly made my way to town with her. This world was going to be quite the experience.
Chapter 3: Getting Settled In
Pinkie Pie was merrily jumping down the path we were on, humming to herself as she did. It was unreal how over the top happy she was, but once again I needed to remember that she's a cartoon. I guess that also made me a cartoon now. This has been one heck of a day.
It looked like we were finally getting to the end of the path, and were about to enter a town--Ponyville, according to Pinkie Pie. How original. As soon as we stepped out of the path and into the town, I got a pretty good reminder of a big reason for why I didn't like this show in the first place: the cheesy way everything looks.
Houses lining the street stood tall, and their windows had a cartoony purple tint to them, while their roofs were covered with straw. As we entered farther into the town, the streets also began to line up with stands selling various things, from food, to books, to even soap. It was actually funny how much different stuff they were selling.
Dozens of ponies were walking about, chatting, buying from the vendors, or just sitting around. They were all just as cartoony looking as Pinkie Pie, and all just as happy, although not nearly as hyper. The sheer amount of cheesy joy and bright colors was enough to make me cringe.
As I looked around, it seemed like a good number of ponies were looking at me, most likely due to being a new face to the town. But I noticed that there were three ponies in particular that couldn't seem to take their eyes off of me. They were significantly smaller than most of the other ponies, so I assumed that they were the pony versions of kids. A regular yellow pony with a big pink bow in her red mane, an orange pegasus with a purple mane, and a white unicorn with a pink and purple mane. After staring at me for a good few minutes as I followed Pinkie Pie, they finally approached us.
"Hey there Pinkie! Who's your new friend?" the yellow one with the big bow in her hair asked in a thick country accent.
"Well Apple Bloom, this is my new bestest friend Morgan!"
"Um, hi."
"Hello," all three of them replied in unison.
"Say Morgan, we haven't seen you around here before. Are you new to town?" the little orange pegasus asked me.
"Yeah, you could say that."
"Morgan just arrived here in Ponyville, and I'm showing him around!"
"That's great Pinkie!" the unicorn exclaimed. "But we couldn't help but notice that he doesn't have a cutie mark."
"I don't have a what now?"
"You know, a cutie mark. The picture that a pony gets on their flank to signify that they've found their special talent in life!" she replied.
I looked at Pinkie Pie and noticed the balloons that were pictured on her flank. As I looked around at all the other ponies in town, I noticed that they all also had pictures on their rears, everything from flowers to dumbbells. Now that I looked back at my own posterior, I could see what the three young ponies were talking about, as there was nothing pictured on my flank, just like the three of them.
"Well! Ain't that something. I thought we were the oldest ponies in town without a cutie mark, but Ah guess that's changed," the regular yellow pony said.
"Aw man, what if we get to be as old as him and we STILL don't have our cutie marks?" the purple maned pegasus asked. Her friends faces showed fear in response to her statement.
"We can't let that happen! Come on girls let's get back to crusading before it's to late!"
With that, the three galloped away, leaving Pinkie and me alone again. “Those three were Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo,” she said. “I bet seeing another blank flank made them feel better about being blank flanks!”
I rolled my eyes. “Yup,” I sighed, “They were some kinda super-duper happy.”
She bounced around in joy and cheered, my sarcasm apparently going over her head. I groaned and looked away, trying to find something else to look at. But oh right, everything’s sickeningly pink!
"Aw, cheer up mister mopey. This IS your first time in Ponyville after all."
Before I could respond, Pinkie's eyes grew wide as she gasped.
"It's your first time in Ponyville! Stay right here Morgan, I'll be right back."
The hyperactive pink pony darted off and was out of sight within seconds. Although I was expecting her to return quickly, which she did, I was not expecting her to return with a large pink wagon.
"What the heck is that?"
"This right here is my welcome wagon!"
How clever.
"Ok, so what is it supposed to do?"
"Just watch!"
Right after saying that, Pinkie pressed a red button on the side of the wagon, triggering it to open and reveal a bunch of balloons, flags, and instruments. Also accompanying the wagon was the start of music. Oh lord, that could only mean one thing...
"Welcome welcome welcome. A fine welcome to you. Welcome welcome welcome. I say how do you do? Welcome welcome welcome. I say hip hip hurray. Welcome welcome welcome to Ponyville today! "
As she sang this incredibly cringe inducing song, Pinkie danced around joyously as she sang and even pulled out a drum and began to play on it for a line of the song. As she finished, she slid on her knees towards me and emphasized the final line to her song.
"....is that it?"
"Wait for it."
I was going to ask her what she meant by that, but an oven mounted on the wagon suddenly jerked open and shot out a cake, while cannons mounted on the side of it blew out confetti. Written on the cake in frosting was the phrase 'Welcome to Ponyville!'
"Yes! I actually remembered to put the cake and confetti in the right places this time. What did you think Morgan?"
As much as that song made me want to barf, the cake did look quite delicious. Not to mention that I didn't want to make her sad like I just did when I snapped at her earlier, so I might as well be nice about it.
"That was...entertaining Pinkie."
"Really? Do you mean it?"
The hyperactive pink pony looked pretty overjoyed by my comment.
"Sure. This cake looks pretty great too."
I could hear my stomach growl as I looked at the cake. I hadn't ate since coming to this world of ponies, so food was starting to sound like a good idea.
"Mind if I go ahead and eat it?"
"Of course not! It is your cake, silly."
I leaned down to take a bite from the cake, and after only one bite my mouth was greeted by a delicious vanilla taste, complimented by the strawberry flavored icing. It was quite possibly the most delicious cake I had ever tasted, and being so hungry, I ate the whole thing up within a minute.
"Dang, even in cartoons cake is still amazing. That was one of the best things I've ever ate."
"I'm glad you think so, I baked it myself."
"If that's the case, as long as I'm here, you're more than welcome to bake me some more cake. That was great."
"Aww, thanks pal."
That last comment made me cringe a bit, but I kept a smile on my face to show my appreciation for the fantastic pastry Pinkie had just given me.
"So where are we going now?"
"Well right now I want to introduce you to my bestest friends, and they should be at the library right now, so it looks like we're going there next!"
"Alright. Well, lead the way then."
Pinkie turned and began skipping off in what I assumed was the direction to the library that she mentioned. I followed her closely behind, ready for what Ponyville had in store for me next.
After about another ten minutes of walking, I could finally see the library that Pinkie had been leading me to. Unlike the other houses in this town, it was inside of a large tree, complete with a deck and windows.
"We're here! I can't wait for my friends to meet you and tell them about where you came from."
Pinkie hoped over to the door and waited for me to catch up to her before opening it. I slowly followed her as she walked in, now giving me a good look at the library.
It was pretty impressive as far as libraries are concerned. Hundreds, maybe even thousands, of books lined the shelves of the massive building. There were multiple levels of the library, as there were stairs leading downstairs and upstairs. The upstairs area seemed to contain a bedroom, meaning there must be someone who lives here. Or I guess I mean somepony. That's still going to take some getting used to.
While observing the inside of the library, I didn't notice that five other ponies were standing around a table and were alerted by the entrance of Pinkie and I. Even as an anti-brony, it was easy to recognize them from the little bit of the show that Axel and Brycen had made me watch. Along with Pinkie Pie, they were the main characters.
There was the nerdy purple unicorn, the fashion obsessed white unicorn, the blue pegasus with the rainbow mane that bronies make a lot of lesbian jokes about, the country girl orange pony, and finally, the shy yellow pegasus.
"Hey girls, I'm here!"
"We can see that Pinkie. Who's your friend?" the purple unicorn asked.
"This, Twilight, is my special friend Morgan. He's brand new to Ponyville."
"Is that so?" the orange pony with the country accent replied. "Well welcome to Ponyville then sugarcube. What brings you here?'
I looked about, thinking about what I could say about that. They probably wouldn’t even believe me if I told them the truth. "It's a long story."
"Actually, I brought him here from a whole other dimension."
Pinkie's five friends looked at her, puzzled, for a bit in a short awkward silence.
"Pinkie, that's impossible," the one Pinkie had called Twilight finally said. "Even if there were other dimensions, there's no way anypony could travel between them."
"Oh believe me, she found a way."
Pinkie grinned at my comment.
"I just hopped into his world, and pushed him back through in to our world. Pretty neat huh?"
Twilight came over and inspected me, making me feel all the more awkward.
"He looks like a perfectly normal pony to me Pinkie."
"Well duh, that's because he's in our world now silly! When I went in to his world he looked a lot different. He was a human."
"A human?" the rainbow maned pegasus asked. "What's that?"
"They're a type of mythical mammal," Twilight responded. "They're supposed to be capable of standing on two legs and have fingers and toes like dragons. But they don't really exist."
"Maybe not here, but they did in his world, isn't that right Morgan?"
"Yeah," I responded. "She's telling the truth."
The purple unicorn in front of me didn't look convinced. And as crazy as it sounds, neither was I.
"Hmm, still seems unlikely. Even if you are from another dimension, how could Pinkie so easily teleport there?"
"Easy, he was watching us, so I just jumped in and pushed him through the box he was watching us through!"
"Say what now?" the orange pony asked. "And just what in tarnation does she mean by watching us?"
I was starting to get nervous. How do you explain to a bunch of ponies that they're cartoon characters? Guess I had to explain it somehow.
"Well, I come from a place where humans are the main race. In our world we have a thing called television, which let's us watch TV shows on it created by people." They looked at me, perplexed. "Just trust me on that, because I don't want to explain how a TV works. Anyway, one of the shows that has been made is an animated one called My Little Pony." I looked around at the six ponies who were listening to me closely. "And, well, this world is pretty much the world of that show."
"That......doesn't make any sense at all," the blue pegasus said in an annoyed tone.
"Dash is right," the orange pony added. "How the hay could any of that be true? So what y'all are saying is that Equestria was made by these humans from another dimension?"
"Look, I don't really get how it works myself. I didn't think cartoons actually existed as their own world. But lo and behold, she jumps through my TV when my friends were making me watch an episode of this show," I replied, pointing to Pinkie Pie with my hoof. "Then she pushed me through the TV and next thing I know, here I am."
Twilight looked baffled.
"That can't be right. Well if our world is really just a creation of your worlds, then prove it."
"How?"
"I don't know," Twilight responded. "You said you were watching us, so tell us something that only we would know."
I racked my brain trying to think of something to say. I didn't like this stupid show, so how was I supposed to tell them something from it?
"Uh, well the six of you are the main characters in it."
That last response seemed to make the yellow pegasus, who had remained quiet this whole time, seem to cower at the thoughts of being watched.
"Not good enough. How do we know you and Pinkie aren't just making all this up for a prank?" the cyan pegasus asked.
I thought harder. All I could remember was the episodes I had been watching before Pinkie jumped into Axel's room.
"Well, in the first episode she's in some big fancy city, and obsessed with studying," I said pointing at the purple unicorn. "And then the queen pony or whatever she is makes her come to this town where she meets all of you."
"Ok...that's creepy," Twilight replied. "But I'm still not really convinced. Tell me then, how did I meet everypony here?"
"I think you met her first," I said pointing my hoof at Pinkie Pie, "But she gasped and ran away from you. Then you met the pony over there wearing the hat, and met her giant family and ate apples."
The cowgirl pony looked legitimately surprised by my answer.
"Next you met the blue pegasus pony, and she rained on you and cleared the sky, or something like that. Then she took you to her house to dress you up a bunch," I said nodding my head at the white unicorn. "And then you met her." I pointed my hoof at the yellow pegasus, who whimpered when I pointed her out. "She was all shy and stuff when you met her, but then wouldn't stop talking to your pet dragon when she saw him."
Twilight looked stunned by my answers, obviously not expecting me to give her the correct responses. She finally cleared her throat to speak.
"Spike is not my pet. He's my assistant and friend."
"Well you know what I mean."
"Yeah, I do. And you got all of my encounters with everypony correct."
"He forgot to mention that then I threw you the most super amazing welcoming party ever after that!"
"Yeah, and at it you drank hot sauce," I added.
"Ok, I've heard enough. You certainly know a lot about my encounters with my friends, but there's still the possibility that Pinkie told you all this on the way here for a prank," the lavender unicorn replied.
I sighed.
"Fine. Let's see." I pondered, thinking of what I could say to convince Twilight. "After you drank the hot sauce you ran up to your room, said how every pony in the town was crazy, and was afraid of that big evil pony coming down from the moon. None of your friends were there to see or hear that part."
Now she looked even more surprised.
"Wow...he's right."
"See! I told you that I brought him from another world."
"Still, this all seems so bizarre. If Equestria is just a creation of inhabitants of his world, how is he able to be here when he himself was not created by the same humans?"
"Beats me. Like I said, I didn't think any of this was possible until she busted through the TV and brought me here."
"Interesting. And how are you a pony now, and not a human?"
I shrugged.
"Not sure about that either, but Pinkie said something about taking the forms of the creatures of the world you're in."
"Ugh, this is starting to hurt my brain," the blue pegasus said. Yours and mine both, kid.
"I agree with Rainbow Dash," the white unicorn added. "This seems quite absurd."
"Everypony calm down," Twilight replied. "I don't really get much of this either, but as long as he is here, I can study and use what he knows to try and figure out how all of this is possible. Until then, I think it's best we just get some rest, I can start my studying tomorrow."
"And where is he going to stay darling?" the other unicorn asked. "If what he's saying is true, then I doubt he has any place to stay."
"Well he's a pegasus, maybe he could stay at my place," the cyan pegasus suggested.
Twilight turned to me.
"Can you fly?"
Of course I can't, I just got turned into a pony. How would I know how to fly already?
"I just got here. If I CAN fly, I haven't been able to figure out how to yet."
"Right then. Guess that's a no to staying with Rainbow Dash."
"Perhaps he could stay with me," the white pony responded.
I could remember the scene of her house from the first episode. A bunch of dresses everywhere. Being stuck in this girly cartoon was bad enough. I didn't need a bunch of dresses, makeup, and jewels around me too.
"I don't know," I started to say.
"Well how do y'all feel about farms? We got plenty of room for a guest down at Sweet Apple Acres."
"That doesn't sound too bad, actually. We have farms back home too, and I used to go to my grandmas farm all the time."
"Sounds like a fit to me then," the purple unicorn said. "Will your family mind Applejack?"
"Aw shucks no. Ah'm sure that Granny Smith, Apple Bloom, and Big Macintosh won't pay him no mind."
I froze as the mention of the name Big Macintosh reminded me of a certain memory…
"Come on Morgan, just read one story. You'll like it, I promise you will."
Axel pleaded with me as we rode the school bus on a field trip.
"Axel, if I don't like your stupid pony show, why the hell would I like fan stories about it?"
"Dude just read one. It's a lot more mature than the show, I swear it is. Just read a quick one before we get to our stop."
I let out a sigh.
"Fine, just one story."
Axel grinned, and messed with his phone, pulling up the story he would have me read.
"Here you are," my friend said as he handed me his phone.
"What's the title of this story again?"
"It's called Sweet Apple Massacre!"
"Umm, are you okay sugarcube?"
I snapped out of my trance, realizing that I had just zoned out.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Hey, uh, is it ok if I stay somewhere else? I don't think staying with you is the best idea."
She looked pretty hurt and annoyed that I was turning down her hospitality.
"Why the hay not?"
"Bad memories."
The pony looked even more confused by my response.
"Just trust me on this one, alright?"
She nodded, although still obviously confused by what I said.
"Well, how about staying with Fluttershy?" Twilight said, turning her attention to the cowering yellow pegasus.
"Um....I don't know," she squeaked out. "He could scare off the animals."
"Alright, well that leaves-"
"ME!" Pinkie bounced up excitedly. "He could come to Sugar Cube Corner with me and the Cakes!"
"If it means more desserts, that sounds fine to me."
"Great! I'm sure the babies will love you too."
Babies? How about no. I didn't know how pony babies were compared to human babies, but if they were in any way similar, we wouldn't get along well at all.
"Actually I'm pretty bad with kids. That's probably not a good idea either."
"Oh, alright," the hyperactive pink pony said as she pouted.
"Well, I guess that means you're staying here then," Twilight stated. "Unless you're bad with books too."
"Nah, I'll be fine."
"Then it's settled. After today's excitement from this, I think it's time we give ourselves some time to think. Come back here tomorrow everypony, alright?"
The other five ponies nodded in agreement.
"Alright. See you all tomorrow then."
The ponies said goodbye to their friend and I, but stopped to introduce themselves before leaving.
"I'm Applejack by the way, pleased to meet you."
"I'm Rainbow Dash."
"Rarity. It's good to meet you darling."
"I-I'm Fluttershy."
"I'm Pinkie Pie, but you already know that." Pinkie Pie gave me a big grin.
"And I am Twilight Sparkle. Welcome to Ponyville mister Morgan."
The other five ponies told Twilight and I goodbye one last time, and took their leave.
"I'm sure today had been pretty tiring for you," she told me. She looked outside where the sun was beginning to set. "How about we have dinner and then call it a day?"
I nodded, eager to have something for dinner after only having Pinkie Pie's cake during my time here. The lavender pony smiled and led me to the kitchen where she made us both what she called a daisy sandwich. It wasn't as tasty as Pinkie's cake, but it was still shockingly good.
"Hey, so where IS your dragon friend that you have?" I asked as we finished up our meal.
"Oh, he's visiting Princess Celestia in Canterlot right now, but he should be back soon. As early as tomorrow, in fact."
I yawned as I nodded at her response. It had been a long and exhausting day, and sleep sounded like a great idea. Twilight could easily tell how I was feeling.
"Follow me, I'll show you to the guest bed."
She led me upstairs and walked over to a tidy looking bed. I slid in awkwardly, and covered up.
"I'm going to get some rest too, we have a big day of researching tomorrow. Well, goodnight."
Twilight walked over to her own bed and went to sleep. I lied in my bed for a short while contemplating the days events. So after my friends forced me to watch a cartoon that they know I hate, one of the cartoon ponies somehow jumped into the human world, pushed me into her world, and now here I am as a pony. It was still incredibly bizarre to think about. My friends were likely worrying about my safety, and wondering where I am. I need to figure out a way to get back home above all else, but as for right now, all I can do is wait and hope that maybe Twilight can find a way.
After finishing up my thoughts, I finally drifted off to sleep. Maybe when I wake up, this’ll just be some kind of nightmare. I’ll be in my own bed in my own room. Everything will be peachy.
Just. Peachy.
Chapter 4: Seeing the Sights
I jolted up out of my sleep rather violently. That must have been the most messed up nightmare I'd ever had. Being sucked into the world of My Little Pony. I need to stop hanging around Axel and Brycen so much. Their stupid brony crap is getting in my dreams now. At least it's over and I'm back here in my library...
Wait, MY library? Twilight's library. Dammit!
"Guess it wasn't a dream."
I sighed. I should have known better than to get my hopes up about all this just being a dream. There was no way I could have dreamed up everything that happened yesterday. After looking at myself, I can see that I'm still very much a pony. As much as I hate it, I guess it's time to start the day.
I trotted downstairs and noticed that Twilight wasn't around.
"Um, Twilight? You here?"
"Yes, in the kitchen."
Sure enough, following her voice led me to the kitchen, where I found Twilight cooking some eggs. Of course, just following that delicious smell would have led me there, too.
"Good morning Morgan. Did you sleep, well?"
Of course I didn't. How could I get some good sleep when all of this is going on?
"Not really," I simply responded.
"Sorry about that. I should have breakfast ready soon."
I heard my stomach growl.
"What are you making?"
"Scrambled eggs. That ok with you?"
"Sure, but how do ponies crack eggs and stuff without fingers?"
"Easy. Since I'm a unicorn, I'm able to utilize magic. Unicorn magic is capable of various feats, such as picking up objects, teleportation, and creating force fields. So I can just pick up the egg…” An egg floated out of the basket on the counter, covered in a purple glow. It came down smartly on the countertop, cracking with an audible smack. “… And break it.”
"Ah. Well how to the non-unicorn ponies crack them then?"
"They can always use their mouth. We use them to hold a lot of things, such as pens to write with."
The more I talked to Twilight, the more weirded out I got. Before the conversation continued, a knock came at the door.
"Looks like somepony is here. Can you get that for me Morgan?"
Good lord that stupid cheesy somepony term still annoys the heck out of me.
"I suppose so."
I walked over to the front door. I looked down at the doorknob and wondered how the heck I was supposed to open it without fingers. Thinking about what Twilight said, I considered the thought of trying to open it with my mouth, but there was no way I was putting my mouth on it. I shrugged and just took both of my front hooves to awkwardly twist the knob and open the door.
"Ha, who needs fingers?"
When I opened the door, there was a pony waiting outside. A pegasus to be specific. She had a gray coat with a yellow mane and tail. Her cutie mark was bubbles and her yellow eyes were crossed. On her back she wore a bag with a muffin clip on it. Even as an anti-brony, there was no doubt about who this pony was.
"Derpy Hooves?"
"Um, yeah. How did you know my name? I don't think we've met before," the wall eyed pegasus asked in a high, air headed voice.
This was great. Axel would be freaking out right now. I can't wait to rub this in his face.
"I'm new here, but where I come from you're extremely popular."
"Really?"
"Oh yeah. You have no idea."
A huge grin that could even rival that of Pinkie's grin spread across Derpy's face. In the blink of an eye she almost bursted in joy.
"Woohoo!" Derpy bounced up and down in joy as she giggled to herself. "That's awesome! Do the ponies I'm popular with like muffins too? Ooooh, how about blueberry muffins? Haha, I can't believe it, I'm really extremely popular!"
As Derpy continued to show how ecstatic she was, she suddenly tripped and fell right on top of me.
"Oops, my bad."
Derpy got off of me and sheepishly grinned at me as I picked myself up.
"Sorry, it's just that hearing that really made my day."
"Don't worry about it. Say, why are you here anyway?"
The yellow haired pegasus' face scrunched up as she pondered.
"Huh, what DID I come here for? Oh yeah, I came to deliver a letter to Twilight!"
She stuck her hoof into her bag and searched around for her letter.
"I think I found it!" Derpy brought out her hoof with a muffin held in it. "Whoops, that's not it."
Derpy quickly ate the muffin and reached back into her bag. She searched around for a while as I grew more and more impatient.
"Here we go!" She pulled out a cupcake with pink frosting. "Huh? How'd that get in there? Oh well." She tossed it over her shoulder and continued her search.
It's unreal how feather brained she was. Although she COULD have a disability or something, especially with eyes like those. Guess she can't help it.
"Here it is!" She finally brought out a letter and held it in her hoof. "Can you give this to Twilight for me?"
"Sure." I took the letter and held it in my mouth. I didn't understand how these ponies where able to hold stuff in their hooves yet.
"Thanks! Well, I got to go deliver the rest of these letters. See you later mister..."
"Morgan," I mumbled out with the letter still in my mouth.
"Right, see you around Morgan."
Derpy flew off into the sky to go about the rest of her job. I smirked as I thought about how to tell Axel about meeting her when I got home. I walked back into the kitchen and sat the letter on a table.
"You got a letter delivered to you."
Without looking behind her, Twilight levitated the letter over. It was as if she knew where it was just by thinking about it. I became more curious as to how unicorn telekinesis worked, or if she just made telekinesis look easy.
"Dear Twilight, just writing to tell you that Spike is on his way back to Ponyville now and should be there in a couple of hours. From, Princess Celestia. "
Twilight smiled as she sat the letter back down.
"Looks like Spike should be joining us soon enough."
You don't say? I heard the letter when you read it aloud.
"Cool. Is breakfast ready? I'm starving."
"Yep, enjoy."
Twilight levitated a plate of eggs over to me. Next to the plate was a fork to eat the eggs with. I tried picking up and holding the fork as Derpy was able to do with the letter, but all I achieved was fumbling it around.
“Hey, how do you ponies pick up things like this without fingers?” I asked. “I saw Derpy hold that letter just fine, but this fork is…”
"Well we just pick them up I suppose. Pretty simple really."
Freaking cartoons. How the heck do they work?
"Fine, guess I'll keep trying."
I tried to pick up the fork a few more times, but failed in each attempt. I then tried holding it between both hooves in the same way I opened the door, but I found turning the fork up to face my mouth troublesome.
"Oh the heck with it."
I gave up on the fork and leaned down to eat the eggs using only my mouth. Twilight looked amused with my pig like eating.
"Having trouble using utensils are we?"
"Yeah. You never know how important fingers are to you until you don't have them anymore. If only this world would have turned me into a unicorn, then I could at least levitate the eggs to my mouth."
"If you can't yet fly as a pegasus, I doubt you'd have much more luck with magic if you were a unicorn."
"Well you got me there."
As we finished up the last of our breakfast, another knock came from the door.
"That must be the girls."
Twilight and I made our ways over to the front door and she used her magic to turn the knob and open it. As soon as the door was open, Pinkie Pie merrily skipped into the room. She was closely followed by Rainbow Dash. Applejack, Fluttershy, and Rarity, however, were nowhere to be seen.
"Girls, where are the others?" Twilight asked.
"Fluttershy is having to watch over a lot of animals today. There's like a flu spreading around them or something," the cyan pegasus replied.
"And Rarity got a big order of dresses today, so she couldn't make it either," Pinkie added.
"And Applejack?" the unicorn inquired.
"Something about having to work extra on the farm today with Big Macintosh off on a delivery."
I felt a chill run down my spine once again at the mention of that name.
"Darn. Well, looks like we'll just have to continue on without them," Twilight replied.
"Don't worry, we'll go fill them in on what they missed once we're done," the extremely happy pink pony said.
"Fair enough. Ready, Morgan?"
"I suppose so."
"Good, let's begin then."
The four of us took a seat around a table in the center of the library.
"Alright Morgan, so why don't you start by telling us a bit about this "show" that this world is apparently a part of, and how you came to watch it."
And so I explained the origins of how the show came about and how it obtained a fan base of grown men.
"So the older fans of the show call themselves bronies. They have a huge fan base about the show, and the bronies make a load of stuff based on it. Stories, toys, art, you name it."
"Whoa, so there's a bunch of art about me in your world too? Awesome! I'd love to see that," the rainbow haired pegasus responded.
Oh no you don't. Knowing how creepy some bronies could be, I don't think it would take her long to stumble into the bad fan works.
I continued to explain how I wasn't a fan of the show myself, but was talked into watching some episodes by my friends.
"So then Pinkie jumped through the TV, pushed my back through it, and here I am. No I just want to find a way to get back home."
"How odd," Twilight said in response. "Pinkie, how where you able to see him?"
"Easy, you just got to be able to look through the fourth wall. It's hard to be able to do it, but I can pull it off well if I do say so myself," the hyper pony boasted.
"The fourth wall?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"Yeah, it's pretty much what the humans are able to watch us through in their world," Pinkie replied. "And I'm able to see through it if I want. I saw Morgan here watching and I thought it would be a super duper idea to bring somepony who loved to watch us here into Equestria."
"But instead you accidentally brought in somepony who doesn't like to watch us," Twilight added.
"Right..."
"Yeah, listen, I'm sorry about all of this. I know it must not be easy to have some guy come in and say that your world is a creation of another world. But if it makes you feel any better, there are millions of humans back home who love watching you guys." I turned to face Pinkie. "And as for you, I can at least say that this experience hasn't been boring. It's been pretty entertaining actually."
Pinkie perked up and gave me the largest smile I had ever seen.
"Really?"
"For sure." I wasn't lying. Even if being in this extremely colorful world wasn't exactly a dream of mine, becoming a cartoon pony was in no way boring. Terrifying? Yeah. But not boring.
"Aw, thanks Morgan."
Pinkie jumped up and wrapped her hooves around me for a hug. I couldn't breath from how tight her embrace was.
"So all he has to do to be able to get home is go through that fourth wall thing?"
Pinkie stopped suffocating me with her hug as she pondered Rainbow Dash's question.
"Hmm, well I don't think it's that simple. I'm kind of the only one here who can bend the rules of reality so much to even see through it into Morgan's world. Unless he can see it too, I don't think he can go through it."
"So basically, you don't know how to get him back?" Twilight asked.
"No, I don't."
Well that's great. Why the heck would you bring me here if you didn't know how to get me back?
I hid my frustration as I spoke. "So, how am I getting back home then?"
"Well, right now it would appear that nopony knows how to get you home," Twilight stated. "What I can do is study up on books that talk about humans and other dimensions. Most of them are fiction books, but it's worth a shot."
"Okey dokey loki. Hey Twilight, I just got a super-de-duper idea. How about while you look up stuff in your books, Dash and I take Morgan around Ponyville? We could introduce him to everypony and let him see the sights."
"Well I don't see why not. Morgan are you ok with it?"
While I wasn't exactly pumped up to see the cheesy and colorful town, I wasn't really excited to read a bunch of books here with Twilight either. It wasn't going to kill me, so why not?
"Yeah, sure. Why not?"
Pinkie gave off a squeal of happiness in response.
"Great! You're going to have a blast Morgan. Come on Dash, let's go!"
Rainbow Dash flew out the front door, with Pinkie happily skipping behind her. I sighed and followed them out the door.
The three of us walked outside and were greeted by bright rays of sunshine. The sky was clear, and the day seemed to be your basic perfect day in a cartoon.
"So many places to go. Dashie, where do you think we should take him first?"
"How about the market? There should be plenty of ponies for him to meet there."
"Great idea! Come on Morgan, let's go."
Pinkie skipped off with Rainbow Dash flying beside her as I struggled to keep up. We walked past many of the same kind of buildings that we passed yesterday as she led me to the marketplace. It was a pretty large area that me and Pinkie had walked through yesterday with dozens of kiosks scattered around, selling various fruits and vegetables. Ponies were conversing throughout the area, many of them waving at Pinkie and Dash as they walked by.
"Now then, good morning Morgan. My name is Pinkie Pie and I'll be your tour guide here for Ponyville!"
I gave Pinkie a blank stare as she flashed me a huge grin.
"This is Ponyville market. Here we buy all sorts of food and stuff. Lots of ponies come here to talk. So who should we introduce you to first?"
I shrugged. I'm sure that if Axel and Brycen were in my position, they'd be jumping at the opportunity to meet all their favorite characters. I just really wanted to get this over with.
"Hey Pinkie, hey Rainbow Dash. Who's your friend?"
The three of us turned around to see two ponies behind us. One was a regular cream colored pony with blue and pink hair and rolled up candies for a cutie mark, and the other was a bright green unicorn with a harp for a cutie mark.
"Hey girls! This is my friend Morgan. He's new here to Ponyville, so we're showing him around and introducing him to everypony. Morgan, this is Lyra and Bon Bon." Pinkie motioned with her hoof to signify that Lyra was the unicorn and Bon Bon was the regular pony.
"Nice to meet you Mr Morgan," Bon Bon said with a smile.
"Morgan, huh? Kind of a weird name don't you think? Where are you from again?" Lyra asked. Bon Bon shot her a disapproving glare at her comment about my name.
"Er, not from around here," I replied.
"He's actually from a whole other world where he was a human with hands and everything!" Pinkie blurted out.
"HANDS?" Lyra's jaw nearly hit the floor.
"Ha, oh Pinkie Pie you're so random," Rainbow Dash quickly said. "She's just kidding around. He's actually just from Los Pegasus."
"Oh...ok." The bright green unicorn looked almost disappointed.
"Well, we need to be going. Nice to meet you Morgan," Bon Bon said.
"Uh, yeah. See you around," Lyra added.
The duo trotted off and left the three of us alone.
"Well that wasn't awkward at all," I stated.
"Pinkie, you got to be more careful. We can't just go around telling everypony that Morgan is from a different world. It'll freak them out! Did you see how shocked Lyra looked?" the rainbow maned pegasus asked Pinkie Pie.
"Sorry, got a little carried away," she replied.
"So what's next?" I asked.
"Well, we got plenty of ponies for you to meet here before we show you around town so lets get to it!"
And so Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash took me around the market to introduce me to a bunch of colorful cartoon horses. There was a dentist unicorn named Colgate, a carrot sales mare named Carrot Top, and a time expert named Doctor Whooves among them. The puns in their names alone were worthy of a royal facepalm. Or facehoof I guess. It took a while, but after being introduced to pretty much all of the dozens of ponies in the market Pinkie and Dash started leading me out of the marketplace.
"So where do we take him to next Pinkie?"
"Don't worry Dashie, I got this covered. I'm the tour guide remember? Now then." We came to a stop next to a long path that led to what looked like a farm, complete with a big red barn and countless apple trees in the distance. "Down there is Sweet Apple Acres. It's where the Apple family, including Applejack, harvest their crops. They make all sorts of super fantastic stuff with their apples. Everything from apple pie to apple cider."
"Aw man, I could go for a glass of their cider right about now," Rainbow added.
"I know right? Its taste is nonpareil!"
"Isn't that the word that those two jerk brothers that tried to put Applejack and her family out of business used?" Dash asked in an annoyed tone.
"Yeah, but isn't it fun to say?"
"No, not really," the pegasus responded.
"Well I think it is. Where was I? Oh yeah, on with the tour!"
Pinkie and Dash then led me various buildings and shops. There were basic things like a school and hospital, and more unique things, everything from a joke shop, to a quill and sofa store, to a bowling alley. How ponies can bowl is beyond me. After Pinkie and Dash showed me the pastry store where Pinkie Pie works and lives at, the tour seemed to be coming to an end.
"And now, to town square! It should be the perfect place to end the tour on."
The duo led me to a large area in the center of the town. There were statues and fountains all around the area and one of the edges of the area had a river running through it, with bridges over the water for the ponies to walk on. Most obvious of all, though, was the huge building in the center of the area. Pinkie noticed me looking at it and smiled.
"That's Town Hall. We hold a whole lot of important things there, like the Summer Sun Celebration."
"It's just now finished up with repairs too." Rainbow added.
"How'd it get broken?" I asked.
"It's a long story." She responded as she winced as if she was remembering a painful memory.
"Why hello Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash."
We were greeted by a tan pony with a gray mane and scroll cutie mark. She was also the first pony I've seen wearing glasses.
"I don't believe I've met your friend here."
"This, Mayor, is Ponyville's newest resident, Morgan," Pinkie happily replied.
Is she forgetting that I'm going to be leaving as soon as we find a way back home?
"Oh my, a new member to Ponyville's family?" the Mayor replied. "Well Mr. Morgan, let me say that it's an honor for us to have you here, and I certainly hope you enjoy your stay here."
"Thanks," I simply replied.
"Well, I must be off. See you three later."
The Mayor left us and Pinkie jumped up and down in happiness.
"Did you see that, Morgan? Now that you've meet almost everypony, seen the sights, and got to talk to the Mayor, you're pretty much an honorary member of Ponyville now!"
Oh joy.
"He is kind of missing one thing though," Rainbow Dash said.
"And what would that be?" I responded.
"We need to get you a cutie mark!"
Chapter 5: Finding a Special Talent
We walked in silence for a little bit, Pinkie Pie pursing her lips in thought. Above us, Rainbow Dash bounced from cloud to cloud. I was unsure of what Pinkie Pie had planned, and held my breath until she decided to break the silence, as she inevitably would. (It seemed like silence is her worst enemy or something.)
"Let's see,” Pinkie Pie said, finally. “What do you think your special talent could be, Morgan?"
"I don't think I can really do much as a pony that I was good at doing as a human. Besides, I doubt that I can even get a cutie mark in the first place, considering I'm not even from this world and all."
"Don't be silly!" Pinkie merrily jumped around as Rainbow Dash hovered above her. "Everypony has a special talent, even ponies from different dimensions!"
"You mentioned that you were cool with farms back in your world, right?" said her cyan friend.
"Well, yeah. I was born in the country. I spent a lot of free time on farms during my childhood."
"Then maybe you'll find your special talent with something at Sweet Apple Acres."
Pinkie stopped dead in her tracks and gasped.
"That's a great idea, Dash! I bet you're right, Morgan's special talent is just waiting to be found out there." The pink pony merrily jumped in place with a goofy grin on her face. "No time to lose guys, let's go!"
Pinkie took off into a gallop, heading off to the farm. Rainbow Dash and I exchanged a glance before she shrugged and took off to catch up to her. I tried galloping to catch up as well, but found myself stumbling and even falling on my face a good couple of times for my efforts. It was hard enough getting used to walking with hooves, how the hell did Pinkie expect me to run with them?
"Oh, don't worry about me. I'll just be back here trying not to fall on my ass," I yelled at the two ponies as they ran off. Pinkie Pie started to slow down as she looked back at me, letting my catch up to her.
"Fall on your what now?" Pinkie asked.
"Never mind. The point is, I'm not exactly good at running with hooves."
"Sorry Morgan, I'm just so excited for you to get your cutie mark. Aren't you excited?"
I rolled my eyes. "Oh yeah, it's going to be a barrel of fun. I'll finally know my special talent as a pony after being one for all of two days."
"Not very positive today, are you?" Rainbow Dash asked as she slowed down to hover above Pinkie and I.
"Well I haven't really gotten used to being a pony yet, so all of this is still kind of stressful for me."
"That's why we need to get you your cutie mark! What better way to help you adjust to being a pony than finding your special talent as one?" Pinkie asked.
"Fair enough," I responded as the three of us continue to make our ways to Sweet Apple Acres. "And you guys said her brother won't be there today, right?"
"What is it with you and Big Macintosh anyway?" Dash asked me with her eyebrow raised.
"I'd rather not talk about it."
"Alright sugarcube, apple bucking is easy as shooting fish in a barrel," Applejack explained as Pinkie, Rainbow, and I joined her at a nearby apple tree. "All ya gotta do is give the tree a good buck, and those apples will fall off quick as a whip." Applejack brought her back hooves back and used them to kick the tree with all her might. The tree rustled a bit as the apples fell from the leaves, down into the buckets Applejack had placed below it.
"Ok, looks easy enough," I said as I watched the final apple fall from the now empty apple tree.
"Wanna give the next tree a try then? That is unless y'all don't think ya can handle it," the orange pony asked with a smirk.
"Bring it on."
The four of us made our way over to the next apple tree, which had dozens of the bright red fruits hanging in the leaves.
"You can do it, Morgan," Pinkie happily cheered as I turned to give the tree a buck. I swear, she gets overenthusiastic about everything,
With my behind facing the tree, I looked back one last time to make sure I could tell my hooves would be lined up to properly kick it. Once I was fully aligned, I prepared to give the tree a buck. I brought my back hooves up in the air and thrust them out as hard as I could...and found myself flat on the ground rather than connecting with the tree.
"Nice one," the rainbow maned pegasus remarked as she held back chuckles.
"Good effort sugarcube, but yer gonna have ta hit the tree to make the apples fall down."
Oh really? I would have never guessed.
Holding back my frustrations, I awkwardly picked myself up and prepared myself for my second attempt. I lined myself up, brought my hooves up, kicked them out...and found myself on the ground once again.
"Silly pony, the tree was more to the right!"
"Thank you for that fantastic advice, Pinkie."
"No problem," she merrily responded, my sarcasm obviously going over her head.
"Give it one more try, sugarcube," Applejack said to encourage me.
"Fine." One final time, I picked myself up and lined up to buck the tree. I hoisted my back hooves into the air and this time kicked them more to the right, and actually hit my mark.
“YES!” I hollered, my face smug as I looked up in triumph. The tree had been barely shaken. I bit my lower lip in awkwardness as a single apple reluctantly fell to the ground. Behind me, I could hear Rainbow Dash explode with laughter.
"Er, nice job Morgan. It was a good start." Applejack almost effortlessly gave the tree a buck of her own that made every remaining apple fall from the tree with ease.
"You don't have to be all nice about it. I think it goes without saying that this isn't my special talent."
"Well there's lots of things you can do on a farm," Pinkie said, somehow even more energetic than she previously was. "Maybe your special talent is still here somewhere, right Applejack?"
"Sure. He could try collecting eggs, baking, picking crops. Plenty of stuff."
"If it involves using my hooves, it's probably pointless for me to try. Without fingers, I'm pretty crappy at doing anything with them besides walking."
"Clearly," the pegasus remarked while gesturing to the apple tree that I had failed to buck.
"Anything else he could do?" Pinkie asked.
"I don't know. Milk the cows?" Applejack suggested.
"What, with my mouth? How about no. I like animals, but I don't like them enough to put udders in my mouth."
"You like animals?" Pinkie asked as she rubbed her chin and pondered. "That gives me an idea!"
Pinkie quickly turned to the cowgirl pony. "Thanks for the help, Applejack."
Before Applejack or I could say anything, Pinkie suddenly picked me up and placed me on her back, not even flinching from my weight.
"Hold on tight, Morgan." Afraid of what would happen if I didn't, I did as Pinkie asked and held on to her as tight as I could. Suddenly, she took off in a quick gallop. "To Fluttershy's!"
With me placed holding on to her back, Pinkie rapidly made her was towards what I could only assume was the direction to Fluttershy's house, with Rainbow Dash following us above.
I’m not sure how I did it, but I managed to keep my breakfast down while Pinkie shot off like a rocket to Fluttershy’s. As Rainbow Dash helped me off Pinkie’s back, I was so dizzy I nearly fell on her.
“Whoa there, loverboy,” she said as she lifted me off and to my feet, “I don’t even know you that well yet!”
In a single overjoyed pounce, Pinkie Pie cleared Fluttershy’s front yard and landed gently in front of her door. She reached down, picked up a shovel and began beating the hell out of the door like it owed her money. Rainbow Dash and I shared a surprised glance. She shrugged. Once again, it was just a matter of Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie.
"Oh, hello everypony. Sorry I couldn't make it to the library this morning. The animals are very ill today."
"It's OK, Fluttershy," Pinkie responded with a smile. "We actually came here to see if we could help you out a bit. More specifically if Morgan could help you out."
"Why is that?"
"She thinks I might get my cutie mark by doing it," I said as I tried to shake off my dizziness.
"Oh, well I don't see why not. Follow me inside."
The yellow pegasus made her way back into her house, the three of us sticking close behind her. She led us to her kitchen where she had something boiling in a large pot. The distinct fragrance of carrots mixed with various other veggies met my nose. It smelt fantastic.
"I was preparing some soup for the bunnies before you guys came. You can help me with them if you'd like to."
"Sound fine to me. I do like bunnies."
Fluttershy placed a ladle into the pot and had Dash help her carry it outside, while Pinkie carried out a bunch of bowls on her back. I followed the three of them close behind.
As we got outside, the pegasi placed the pot on the ground while I looked around at the gigantic yard. It was full of animals of all kinds: Birds, butterflies, mammals, and even a pond full of aquatic creatures. There was a chicken coop off to the left of the yard, and on the right side was what appeared to be a newly built shed.
"I suppose you want us to stay out of that shed, right?" I said with a chuckle, remembering the video series that was quite possibly the only brony creation I enjoyed.
"Um, no. You can go in it if you'd like to. There's just some gardening equipment in there for now. Why do you ask?"
"No reason. So where are the bunnies?"
"Over here," she said as she flew over to an area near the center of the yard. Indeed, there were countless bunnies around, although instead of looking lively and happy, they appeared to be exhausted and burning up.
"The poor things have come down with a bad flu. The soup really helps them feel better." Fluttershy placed a bowl full of soup in front of a brown bunny. "It's OK little guy. This will help you feel all better."
Soothed by the sound of Fluttershy's voice, the bunny ate from the bowl. Before long, they had eaten all of the soup. The green tint of their fur suddenly seemed to flush out, returning the bunny's fur to its natural brown color. The thankful critter then happily hopped off.
"Wow. Not bad," I said, impressed by how efficient the soup was.
"Your turn, Morgan," Fluttershy said as she poured soup into a new bowl. "Take this to a bunny. Be kind and gentle with them. They won't eat from it if they become stressed."
"Don't worry, I'm great with animals." As I grabbed hold of the bowl with my mouth, I looked over the herd of bunnies to decide which one I would feed. I noticed one white bunny that was away from the others that looked particularly upset about his sickness. "I pick that one," I mumbled out, the bowl still in my mouth.
"Um, Morgan, that's Angel. He isn't exactly too fond of strangers. You should probably try a different bun-"
I ignored what Fluttershy was saying and made my way over to the bunny. He looked up with his eyebrow raised as I sat the bowl of soup on the ground.
"Hey there little dude. Got some soup for you."
The bunny gave me a glare and scooted the bowl away from himself.
"Come on now, you got to eat it. It'll help you feel better."
I scooted the bowl back towards him, causing him to give me an even more annoyed look. He scooted the bowl away once more, this time with his tongue stuck out in disgust.
"Dude, just eat the dang soup. You don't want to stay sick do you?"
I started to scoot the bowl over to him again, but he placed his foot on it before I could and tried to push it away.
"Morgan, I wouldn't do that if I were-"
"Eat the soup you stupid rabbit!"
I pushed the bowl towards the bunny one final time. He alternated between looking down at the soup and looking up at me. Finally, he bent down to show that he was about to eat the soup.
"Ha, that's what I thought." I turned and started to walk back to the others when I suddenly felt a bowl hit me in the head. The warm soup spilled all over me, tingling my skin, and making me smell like carrots. The bowl was on top of my head almost like a hat. I gritted my teeth and looked back at the bunny, who seemed very amused by the sight.
"Why you no good little-" Dash and Pinkie held me back before I could get to the bunny. The fluffy jerk just kept laughing at me while I was restrained.
"Um, I'm sorry Morgan, but I don't think animal care is your special talent."
"Well how about we find out if rabbit kicking is!"
"Pinkie, I think it's best that we go," Rainbow Dash told her friend.
"Yeah, I think you're right." The two of them grabbed my front hooves and began to drag me out from Fluttershy's yard. "See you later, Fluttershy," Pinkie yelled out.
The bunny waved goodbye to me with his tongue stuck out, making me even more furious.
"Stupid freaking rabbit."
"So where you want to try next, Morgan?" Pinkie asked as she hopped down the Ponyville street we were on.
"Why don't we just go back to the library? I think I've had enough of trying to find out my cutie mark for one day."
"We could always go by Rarity's shop and see if he finds his special talent there," Dash suggested.
"I most certainly am NOT going to a dress store. I actually like farms and animals back in my world, and neither of those ended up becoming related to my talent. Why the crap would something I disliked even back home be my talent?"
"You keep using those weird words. Are they some kind of human thing?"
"Sure, Pinkie. Lets go with that."
"Well anyway, there's got to be something around here that'll make you find your cutie mark, we just got to keep looking," the pink party pony said.
"Could we at least get something to eat first? I'm starving."
"I don't see why, Morgan. You just had a bowl of soup earlier," the pegasus said with a snicker.
"Shut up." I was already tired enough from the whole ordeal. I was in no mood to joke about it.
"I know a great place we can go to eat, Morgan," Pinkie said. "Follow me!"
With Rainbow Dash continuing to hover above us, I followed Pinkie to wherever she was walking to. I looked around the sickeningly technicolor city as we walked. I could only hope that Twilight had figured out a way to get me home once we return to the library. She just had to. There had to be a way back. Maybe some sort of spell, or with some kind of ancient artifact, or-
"Yeah, take that you stupid Changeling Queen!"
A loud voice caught my attention as I shifted my gaze over to where it came from. My jaw dropped at what I saw when I looked over. A couple of feet away from us was what seemed to be the pony equivalent of an arcade. Inside of a small blue building were a good couple of arcade machines scattered around. Wait. Those machines. Those sounds.
"Are those...videogames?"
"Huh?" Rainbow Dash stopped mid air, and turned to see where I was looking. "Oh yeah, they're pretty cool. I take it you have them back in your world too?"
"Heck yeah we do. Playing videogames is my favorite thing to do in my spare time. I can't believe you guys actually have them in this world."
"Guess we're not so lame after all then, eh?" the cyan pegasus said as she nudged me.
"I got to try this." I shifted my focus to a dark gray teenage looking pegasus with a short brown mane. He was at one of the machines and seemed to be the source of the voice I heard. "Hey Pinkie you said you know everypony in Ponyville, right?"
"Yes sir! Every stallion, mare, donkey, dragon, gryphon, zebra, diamond dog, and-"
"Can you tell me who that is?" I asked with my hoof pointed at the teenage colt who was now deep into his game.
"Sure! That's Stratus."
"Got it." I cantered over to him, getting a better view of the arcade machine as I approached him. It was built almost exactly like arcade machines back home, and was a bright green. It was adorned with a powerful-looking unicorn and what appeared to be black bugs. I then noticed Stratus about to leave the machine.
"Hey, Stratus," I said before he left.
"Uh, hey. Have we met?"
"My name's Morgan," I responded with my hoof held out. He hesitantly shook it. "I wanted to ask you about what you were playing."
"Really? Cool." Stratus walked back over to the machine and showed me the start screen. Displayed on the screen was the title, "Princess and Shield."
"This game is actually pretty new. It came out after the royal wedding." Stratus then brandished a gold coin. "This game's on me," he said as he slid the coin into the coin slot.
The teenage colt pressed a button labeled START which made the machine come to life. I couldn't help but feel impressed as a classic looking 8-bit intro started up. On the screen were two ponies, a white male unicorn with blue hair, and a pink winged unicorn mare with a multicolored mane, relaxing in what appeared to be the inside of a castle. Suddenly, explosions started to go off, complete with classic arcade style sound effects.
"Dang, they really got this whole classic arcade game feel down," I thought to myself as the intro continued.
A large black creature that seemed to be some sort of splice between a pony and an insect then appears in front of the two ponies.
"It's the Changeling Queen," said the white unicorn via the 8-bit text that displayed above him.
"Ha! Ha! Ha! Time to get rid of this pesky princess!" As the text disappeared from above the Changeling Queen, several other smaller insect like pony creatures then started to make their way on to the screen, trying to corner the two ponies. Before they could get to the mare, however, the stallion knocks them away with what seemed to be a shield that he created using unicorn magic.
"Don't worry, Cadence! I'll do protect you!"
Wow, they even got the typos that old school arcade games had.
"Not if I have anything say about it! Ha, Ha, Ha!!!" The Changeling Queen then disappeared, and the game started up. The white unicorn was on the bottom floor, while the mare was inside of a window near the top of the screen. Scattered all across the screen were various platforms, stairs, and moving platforms. The background of the screen made it seem like this was taking place in a castle, with two large castle-like towers on each side of the screen, one of which contained the pink winged unicorn. The bottom floor looked like that of a castle bridge between the two towers.
"The game's pretty simple. You play as Shining Armor and have to protect Princess Cadence from the changelings that come on to the screen. You knock them away using the shield. They can even be bounced off each other for bonus points."
Stratus was playing the game to demonstrate his points, but I was far too busy trying to pick my jaw up from the ground due to how the game appeared. Despite this being a whole different world, let along the world of a girls cartoon, the game looked exactly like how a classic arcade game would. Everything from the graphics, to the sounds, to the way the game seemed to play gave it the feel of a great classic platformer. Needless to say, I was eager to try it out.
"I need to play this," I said with my mouth still agape.
"Sure, knock yourself out," Stratus said, stepping aside so I could play.
I looked down at the control panel. Like the classic arcade games, there was a control stick for movement, the start button, and two action buttons. One was labeled "Jump," and the other was labeled "Shield." Jump was self explanatory, and from what the pegasus had told me, I had a basic idea for how the shield worked.
"So I'm just trying not to die, right?"
"Actually, Shinning Armor can't die. He has his shield protecting him. The game ends if the changelings make it to Cadence."
I looked around the screen some more. At the top left of the screen was a meter labeled the "Shield Meter." Must mean that I can't just spam the shield. Below the shield meter were a bunch of zeros, which was what I could only assume was my score. At the bottom right corner of the screen was a number. At the moment, the number said 10.
"I'm guessing that means how many enemies I have left in a level," I said, pointing my hoof at the number.
"You catch on quick, don't you?"
Before I could answer, a dramatic 8-bit tune started playing. Looking at the screen, I saw the first changeling come into vision.
"Lets do this." I placed my left hoof on the joystick while I had my right hoof waiting at the two buttons. Even without fingers, the joystick was relatively easy to maneuver. I tested out the Jump button, jumping up to one platform near the bottom, then jumping off. As I started to approach the changeling, I decided to test out the Shield button next.
I pushed down the shield button, and as I expected, the shield expanded further the longer you held it down. Shining Armor seemed to slow down with the Shield button held down, and couldn't jump. The Shield Meter started to deplete every couple of seconds I kept it held down. Finally, the shield hit the changeling, bouncing him off of the screen, giving me 100 points. My shield meter had gone down a few notches.
"Way to waste that much of the shield meter on a single changeling," Stratus said with a chuckle.
"Got to get a feel for how the game works first, my friend. Now it's time to make magic happen." I focused on the screen as two more changelings entered, one from each side of the screen. I ran after the one nearest to me. Waiting for when I was close to it, I pushed the shield button. The shield meter only went down by a single notch.
"Not bad," the impressed pegasus said.
"So if I can't die because of the shield, let me see what happens when I do this." I had Shinning Armor run over to the next changeling, who was beginning to jump up the platforms. Timing my jumps well, I quickly caught up to it and ran straight into it. As I thought it would, it fell off the screen, dead-Mario style, as soon as I made contact with it. However, the shield meter seemed to deplete by another couple of notches.
"Well they still get beat by that, as you can see, but it's not recommended if you want to conserve your shield meter."
This backseat gamer stuff was already starting to annoy me, but I ignored it as I saw the Princess begin to do what seemed to be blowing kisses. As she blew a kiss, a pixelated heart floated down to a nearby platform.
"Let me guess what this does." I quickly jumped over to the heart and picked it up. I grinned as I saw my shield meter refill. "Nice."
"Yeah, the hearts can refill up to half of the meter, but the changelings will try to keep you from getting them."
After knocking away three more changelings, what looked like an 8-bit cake appeared. I quickly ran over to it to pick it up. I was rewarded with 500 bonus points. After grabbing the cake, three more changelings appeared on screen, two from the right, and one from the left.
I made short work of the one on the left. Wasting no time, I went after the ones on the right. One jumped up to a platform, while the other stayed on the ground floor. Once I was near it, I hit the one on the floor with the shield. It flew upward into the air and knocked into the changeling that was standing on the platform. Both changelings suddenly fell off the screen, and I was rewarded with 500 points, rather than 200.
"Whoa, you can bounce them off each other?"
"Pretty cool, eh?"
I noticed that bouncing the changelings off of each other only cost me a single notch of my shield meter, making the method all the better. Now only a single changeling remained. The final enemy finally appeared on screen and found itself quickly becoming acquainted with my shield. With the level over, an arcade style victory tune played before the screen went black. It quickly reappeared with a screen that said, "Wave 2," in white text. Shining Armor and Princess Cadence ran across the bottom of the screen, with Cadence exclaiming "Lets Go!" in white text.
"Now that your beginners luck is over, have fun trying to beat it as the game gets harder."
"Oh I will." The next level loaded quickly loaded up. The background was the same as the first level, and Cadence was still in the same spot, but the platforms were rearranged. They must be randomly generated each wave. Wasting no time, I made mince meat out of the enemies in wave two, utilizing the shield bounce twice. Wave 3 was almost identical in performance.
"Dang. You sure you've never played this game before?" an impressed Stratus asked as Wave 4 was loading.
"Nope, never played before in my life," I responded with a smirk.
"Next level Morgan! Next level," Pinkie happily cheered as the next level loaded. I must have failed to notice that she, along with Rainbow Dash, had joined the teenage colt in watching my gaming.
I focused on the screen and noticed two blue colored platforms near the middle of the stage.
"The heck are up with those?" I had Shining Armor jump up to on of the platforms. As soon as he landed on one of them, he began to slide. "Ice platforms, eh? Neat."
After stopping Shining Armor from sliding around, four changelings appeared on screen. The enemy counter was now at 20.
"Lets rock." The first couple of changelings were taken out rather quickly. I found myself having to expand the shield quite a bit in some spots, but the Princess' hearts helped keep my shield meter high. However, I then soon found myself faced with almost six changelings on screen at a time.
"Holy crap there are a lot of them."
"You should probably get rid of them before they transform."
Before I could ask what he meant by this, I noticed a new item appear on a high level platform. It was heart shaped, like the one Cadence blew, but it was a shade of white, rather than red.
"A jewel heart? Well aren't you lucky."
Curious by what Stratus meant by this, I wasted no time in having Shinning Armor climb a stair case to reach the platform. I jumped over to the item and grabbed it. Suddenly, every changeling fell off the screen. My score counter received a hefty boost due to getting 100 points from every changeling. I sighed in relief as the counter showed that only one enemy remained.
"I wonder what he meant by transform," I thought to myself as the final changeling walked on screen. Instead of killing it immediately, I stood still and let it jump around.
"What are you doing?" Stratus asked.
"Experimenting." Roughly ten minutes later, the creature started to flash green and white. The flashing began growing more rapidly until its body finally morphed. I watched the enemy closley as the flashing slowed down and turn into what appeared to be a large orange dragon.
"Oh dang. What does that do?"
Almost as if in response to my question, the dragon began to blast balls of fire at me. Thinking that I could deflect them into it, I activated the shield. However, instead of bouncing off of the shield, the fireball hit it, and depleted part of my shield meter.
"Well that answers that." Dodging the various fireballs, I made my way over to the dragon as soon as I could and rammed into it. It reverted back into a changeling and flew off of the screen. The victory tune played once again and Wave 5 began to load.
"I don't know how you're doing this good, but Wave 5 is when things start to get really intense. Good luck getting much farther than here."
"I don't need luck," I said with a grin as the level finished loading. The number of changelings were bumped up to 25, but I made short work of them, especially thanks to the shield bounce. My score grew more and more as Wave 6 began. Before long, I was dominating the game and on my way to Wave 10. After mowing through a bunch of changelings, a large greenish glow started appearing near the top of the screen.
"That's not good."
"What's not good?" Stratus was unresponsive as I watched the glow take form of the Changeling Queen from the opening cutscene.
"Yeah, she'll appear randomly from time to time. She'll try to hit you with her spell." I looked at the screen and as Stratus had said, the Queen did appear to be building up a spell, her horn growing brighter and brighter as time went on. "If she's successful, she blows a black heart at you that slows you down and disables the shield bounce. Basically make things really easy for the changelings."
I took a deep breath before starting to make my way up the platforms to reach the Changeling Queen.
"Good luck getting to her. Witb the changelings still out there, trying to knock you away, it's almost impossible to get to-"
The backseat gamer was cut short as I made it to a platform near the Changeling Queen and held down the shield button. The shield expanded out and reached the Queen, knocking her from the screen. Stratus' jaw dropped as I was given a full 5,000 points for my efforts.
"You've got to be kidding me," the dark grey pegasus said as I started taking out the final regular changelings. Soon enough, the level was completed.
"That was awesome, Morgan," and impressed Rainbow Dash commented.
"More like, that was impossible," Stratus added.
I couldn't help but chuckle to myself at his comment before turning my attention back to the game. While going through more Waves, the platforms became increasingly spread out, making them more difficult to jump to and from each other. The changeling also grew quicker, and transformed more often.
Thus far, they had only taken two other forms other than dragons. There were dogs, which simply took away portions of platforms as they walked along them. They were still weak in this form. There were also gryphons, who kamikaze dived at Shining Armor to knock him off of platforms. One gryphon in particular that knocked me off on the way to a jewel heart annoyed me.
Eventually, I found myself reaching Wave 35. I had encountered the Changeling Queen a couple more times and racked up an insanely high score, but was starting to get tired out. With 50 changelings now included in the waves, I found myself overwhelmed. Soon enough, the changelings knocking into me caused the shield meter to fully deplete. Shinning Armor wouldn't move and seemed to be in a state of exhaustion.
"Why won't he move?"
"When the shield meter runs out, Shining Armor gets stunned for a bit and you have to wait for him to recover half of the shield meter, but it takes a bit. I've never even got to a level this far with so many changelings so-"
Before Stratus could finish his statement, the changelings reach Princess Cadence's window. The Changeling Queen then suddenly appeared on screen and laughed. The screen then went black and said, "Game Over," with a 10 second counter below the words to give the player time to insert another coin to continue. As the timer went down, the Changeling Queen flew across the screen with Cadence on her back. Shining Armor was chasing them close behind. Once the timer hit zero, the Queen exited the screen and Shining Armor fell flat on his face.
"Darn. I was on a roll." The screen then switched to a high score screen. I smiled as I saw that my incredibly high score was by far the top one. It was at least 3 times as large as the score in second place. Using the joystick, I entered in my initials and proudly looked at my score being displayed at the top of the screen.
"That was crazy. I've never seen anypony handle that game so easily." The teenage colt was dumbfounded.
"Nice going Morgan," Rainbow Dash said. "That was pretty sweet."
"It wasn't even a challenge," I confidently responded. "This is so cool. I can't believe this world has videogames. And you guys are still back in the old school arcade era. You haven't even gotten to the Playstation and Nintendo 64 yet! This world has barely scratched the surface for-"
I stopped when I noticed a sudden bright light coming from...my flank? I looked down at it in confusion when the light suddenly faded away, revealing a picture of a joystick on my flank.
"Morgan, you got your cutie mark!" Pinkie tackled me in excitement, nearly knocking the breath out of me. "I told you you'd find it!"
"I know Pinkie, I know. Now please get off me before I suffocate."
The pink pony stepped aside, but didn't stop jumping up and down in joy.
"Well no wonder you were so great at the game on your first try," Stratus said, also looking impressed. "It's your special talent after all."
I couldn't help but grin. Even if I didn't like this world, I couldn't help but feel a sense of satisfaction seeing the picture on my behind. It was comforting to know my videogame skills even existed in the world of My Little Pony.
"I got to say son, that was pretty impressive."
I looked up to see an older looking stallion with a deep brown coat and gray mane. He was sporting a mustache and had a large golden coin for a cutie mark.
"The name's Coin Slot, I own this here arcade. Saw your little performance. I ain't never seen somepony with such a knack for these games than you. And I'm mighty glad you got to get your cutie mark here."
"Thank you sir. It feels pretty good to have it."
"So what's your name?" He asked with a smile.
"His name is Morgan," Pinkie happily exclaimed before I could speak.
"Well Morgan, you're welcome here in my arcade anytime."
"Thanks. Glad to hear it." I shook hooves with him before he walked off to check on the rest of his arcade.
"Hey Morgan, this place is full of games just waiting to be played," Stratus said. "Want to play some more?"
For the first time since being here, I could feel myself feeling being genuinely happy as the thoughts of playing more games crossed my mind.
"You bet I do."
Roughly an hour later, Rainbow, Pinkie, and I found ourselves making our way back to the library. I sampled a lot of the games that the arcade had to offer. One game was about a dragon protecting its treasure from thieving dogs (Pinkie Pie called them Diamond Dogs), while another game was a maze like Pac-Man… except it took place in a creepy abandoned town and I was trying to escape these horrible skeleton horse things. (I think the name of the game was “Blanks”. Not sure why.)
We also came across Rainbow Dash’s personal favorite: “Daring Do and the Time Travelers”. “It isn’t as good as the first game,” she claimed, “but it DOES have multiplayer!” We all played simultaneously, finding treasures, defeating monsters, solving puzzles, and so on. It actually kind of felt like a mix of Gauntlet and strangely enough, that old Chip & Dale Rescue Rangers NES game. Naturally, I was an ace at all the games we tried.
"I'm so excited! I knew we'd find your cutie mark for you today, I just knew we would!" Pinkie was absolutely giddy. Although I usually found her acting in such a way annoying, I still found myself proud of my cutie mark, so I was kind of happy about it myself. "It's like you're becoming an honorary pony now!"
"Whoa now, Pinkie. I wouldn't go that far. After all, I'll be going as soon as Twilight find me a way home."
Suddenly, Pinkie seemed to lose her energy and ceased her hopping as she pondered on what I had said. Her smile faded, and she looked at the ground sadly.
"Oh yeah, forgot about that."
The tone of her voice was depressing. She and I both knew I couldn’t stay here. I had friends and family back where I’m from. Still, I could understand her plight. She had only just made a new friend, and suddenly, she had to say good-bye.
"But hey, that's probably a while from now," I said, trying to cheer Pinkie up. "And you're right, this cutie mark IS pretty sweet, isn't it?"
Pinkie flashed me a wide smile. "It sure is! I can't wait to see what Twilight thinks of it."
"You know Morgan, you may have your cutie mark, but I don't think you're completely adjusted to being a pony just yet," Rainbow Dash said as the library started to come into view.
"What more could I possibly have left to do?"
"Fly. You ARE a pegasus after all."
That got me to thinking. Ever since Pinkie brought up the notion of me being able to fly when I first got here, it's been something I've been interested in learning. Unfortunately, making my wings awkwardly spasm was still all I could accomplish with my wings thus far.
"Tell you what, how about I teach you how to do it some time? Give me a day, and you'll have it down easy."
I smiled. "I think I'll have to take you up on that offer."
The rainbow haired mare smiled back at me as we made it to the library door. Pinkie opened the door, while Dash and I followed her in.
"We're back!" Pinkie happily bounced over to Twilight who had dozens, maybe even hundreds, of books scattered all across the floor. She was at a table reading one of the books when Pinkie approached her.
"Hello everypony. How was today?"
"See for yourself!" Pinkie pointed her hoof at my flank. Twilight's jaw dropped.
"You got your cutie mark!"
"He sure did," Rainbow responded. "He aced those videogames like they were nothing."
"That's great, Morgan," Twilight remarked. "I didn't even think you could get a cutie mark, what with you being from a different world and all."
"Believe me, neither did I. But somehow, someway, here it is. Pretty awesome, ain't it?"
As I finished my sentence, I noticed snoring coming from upstairs, I raised my eyebrow in confusion.
"Oh, almost forgot. Spike got back from Canterlot today, not too long after you guys left. He's been helping me research today. Tired him out so much that the poor thing just dozed off here in the main room about an hour ago. I went ahead and moved him to his bed upstairs."
"Neat. So speaking of your researching, have you found anything yet?" I asked, curious to know if Twilight had already found me a way home.
"Well, I've been reading up on human mythology and theories of different dimensions. I've been trying to find any sign of how to travel between worlds like how Pinkie was able to do."
"Any luck, so far?" I asked.
"Um." Twilight seemed to hesitate, as she nervously looked down at all the books she had scattered around the room. "I'm really sorry, but none yet. However, when Spike returned today, I had him send a letter to Princess Celestia that detailed everything. I was hoping she would know something about all of this."
"Jeez Twilight, calling in the Princess' help for this?" Dash asked, a bit surprised.
"Well, the books don't have anything on it, and who else would be more likely to know about the subject than on of Equestria's own rulers? Anyway, it didn't take long for her to respond."
The lavender unicorn then picked up a letter on her desk, using her telekinesis. She levitated it up to her face and opened it so that she could read it.
"My most faithful student, I regret to inform you that I have not heard of such an occurrence happening before in Equestria's history, and thus am not particularly sure what to make on the matter myself. However, I will look into it and will be sure to write back to you once I have found any information that could be of use to you. From, Princess Celestia. "
Twilight placed the letter back on to the table to signify that she was done reading.
"Guess that means I'm at least here for a few more days, eh?"
"It would seem so. I'm sorry about the inconvenience."
I felt...oddly conflicted by hearing Twilight's news. Normally, hearing this would have made me feel like going on a rampage, but for some reason I couldn't be fully upset. After all, the thoughts of learning how to fly and playing more videogames actually made me want to smile. But still, knowing that I was still stuck here in this cartoon, away from my friends and my family made me frustrated. Not wanting the other to have to see me in a distraught mood after such a good day, I decided it was best to be alone for a bit.
"I'm going to take a walk," I said as I walked toward the door. Once I reached the door, I struggled trying to turn the door knob. The annoyance of not having fingers for things like these didn't make me feel any better. Before I could further fight with the door handle, it was caught in purple aura and turned.
"Thanks," I said back to Twilight as the door opened. I stepped outside and closed the door behind me. Once outside, I let out a deep sigh.
"It'll be OK, Morgan," I told myself. "You're only here for a little bit longer. You get to learn how to fly and get to play videogames for now, and soon enough, you'll get to go home."
I looked up at the sky. The sun was beginning to set and soon enough it would be night time. Back home, my loved ones were probably looking up at the sky too, hoping they'd see me soon. I sighed once again.
"Don't worry guys, I'll be home soon."
As Morgan began his walk, trying to calm himself, he did not notice that he was being watched. In fact, he hadn’t noticed he’d been followed all day. In the bushes, a mint green unicorn looked up as her target walked away. After looking about to make sure she was alone, she lifted a voice recorder using her telekinesis and spoke into it.
"Observation Log: Day 1," she said as she spoke into the device. "After a day of watching the suspect, suspicious behavior has persisted. I may not be able to say it's a guarantee that my suspicion is correct, but the plausibility is high. This can only call for one thing. It's time to begin Operation: Human Investigation."
Chapter 5.5: A Human in Equestria?
"This...is...HUGE!"
Bon-Bon looked up from her newspaper. Lyra had been walking (or rather, bouncing) across the room, back and forth, often ignoring the furniture enough to bump into everything, in complete rapturous glee for the past half-hour. Bon-Bon sighed, and fought the urge to facehoof. She knew exactly what her friend was going to say.
“Can you believe it?!” Lyra squealed. “A real, live human is here, Bon-Bon! Right here!” Bon-Bon had tried to return to her newspaper, only for Lyra to grab her face and lock eyes with her, bearing a manic grin. "Right here in Equestria! Can I get a hallelujah?"
"Lyra, don't you think you're taking this whole human thing a bit too seriously?" Bon Bon asked. "After all, you and I saw him with our own eyes, and he was a pony. I highly doubt that, somehow, that pony was a human. Pinkie Pie was probably just being random again."
"Come on Bon Bon, this can't just be a coincidence. Think about it, that pony had no cutie mark, and yet he was almost as old as we are! That's not normal."
"It may not be normal, but it certainly isn't impossible."
Lyra rolled her eyes at her friend's statement.
"So I guess it's just another coincidence that he just so happened to get his cutie mark once he moves to Ponyville, right?"
"Well, yeah." Bon Bon froze for a moment as she pondered. "Wait a minute, how did you know that he got his cutie mark today?"
The green unicorn nervously rubbed the back of her head with her hoof.
"Oh, yeah. Funny story, actually. You see, I was kind of following him today and-"
"You were WHAT?" Lyra almost jumped back from how suddenly Bon Bon had cut her off.
"...following him?" Lyra sheepishly responded.
"Lyra, why would you follow him around? That's an invasion of his privacy, and I'm pretty sure that it's against the law."
"I know, I know, but I needed to find out if he really was a human or not."
"What is it with you and humans, anyway?" Bon Bon asked as she rubbed her temples. Sometimes her friend's antics never ceased to amaze her, and not in a good way.
"I don't know. I guess the whole human mythology just fascinates me. They seem like they're really interesting creatures. Plus, they have hands," she said as she waved her front hooves around. It wasn't hard for Bon Bon to come to conclusion that her friend wanted to actually BE a human.
“We’ve… look, we’ve been over this before. Lyra, I’m worried about you. I’m sorry, but you need to accept that they’re. Not. Real,” her earth pony friend replied in a matter-of-fact tone.
"Maybe not here, but you heard what Pinkie said. Morgan is from a whole other world." Lyra's eyes seemed to light up as she imagined an alternate world full of countless humans.
"And you're really going to believe something that Pinkie Pie said?" Bon Bon asked.
"Well, yeah. She may be random at times." Lyra cut herself short when she saw her cream colored friend looking at her with her eyebrow raised. "Ok, REALLY random at times, but all of this can't be just a simple coincidence. All I want to do is investigate this a little more to see if there's a chance that Morgan really is a human."
Bon Bon sighed. She spoils the girl too much.
"Ok, Lyra. Just please promise me that you won't take this too far. Look me in the eye and tell me you won’t get out of hoof with this."
"Of course I won't. You have my word." The human obsessed unicorn gave her friend a wide grin. Once she was gone, Lyra brandished her voice recorder using her telekinesis and proudly looked down at it.
"Tomorrow, Operation: Human Investigation begins!"
At the Golden Oaks Library, Morgan, Twilight Sparkle, and Spike were all inside, enjoying their breakfast. Unbeknownst to them, Lyra was hiding outside in a bush, observing them with a pair of binoculars that she held up with her magic. Her voice recorder was lying on the ground as she kept her gaze locked on Morgan.
"Operation: Human Investigation has officially begun," she whispered into the device, being careful not to be loud enough to give away her position to any nearby pedestrians. "Suspect seems to have trouble using forks." Lyra watched as Morgan fumbled with his fork and glared at Spike, who was able to hold his utensil with ease. The pegasus then groaned and began eating his eggs by leaning down to eat it like a pig.
"How odd. Perhaps the suspect is unable to hold objects in his hooves." The mint green unicorn smiled to herself. "Humans WOULD have trouble holding things with hooves, considering they go their whole lives having hands. Very suspicious."
Lyra stopped talking when she noticed Morgan get up and start heading for the door.
"Suspect is on the move. Time to get closer." The stalking unicorn silently placed her binoculars into the saddlebag that she was wearing. She tip-hoofed from bush to bush until she could get a good view of the library entrance. As if on cue, Morgan then cantered out the door, a saddlebag placed on his back, and began walking toward the center of town.
"Looks like the suspect is going to be going to town, today. Going to have to be extra careful to not blow my cover." Lyra stopped her voice recorder and placed it into her saddlebag. She watched Morgan as he walked down the road, still not even aware in the slightest that he was being watched.
"I'm on to you, Morgan," Lyra said to herself as she prepared to follow her target into town. "One way, or another, I'll prove that you're a human."
Lyra stuck to staying as incognito as she could as she followed Morgan throughout Ponyville. Any time that she thought he could catch on to her shadowing him, she would hide behind the nearest available object, whether it be in a fruit stand, under a table, or even behind other ponies. Ignoring the confused looks that everypony was giving her, the unicorn stalked her target as well as she could.
"Hey, Morgan! What's up?"
Morgan turned his head and smiled as a teenage dark gray colt approached him. Lyra quickly dived into a nearby barrel to hide herself. Unbeknownst to her, the barrel was used as a trash can, and found herself coated in garbage with a lingering dreadful smell. However, she stayed focused on listening in on her target.
"Hey, Stratus. Nothing much, just looking around town for a couple of things. Thought I'd try out one of the restaurants later and see what all the vendors are selling." Morgan looked back at one of the pockets on his saddlebag. "Twilight even let me borrow a few coins to spend."
"Coins? Don't you mean bits?" Stratus asked.
"Right, bits. That's what I meant to say." Lyra, still in her hiding place, raised her eyebrow due to Morgan's suspicious sounding response. “Just, uh… Some bits. To use. To… try out. Some food. And, and stuff.” Morgan’s eyes darted about.
"Checking out what the town has to offer, eh?" The gray pegasus asked. "Oh, yeah, Dash and Pinkie said you were from Los Pegasus, right?"
"Uh, yeah. Sure am," Morgan responded after a bit of hesitation. Lyra raised her eyebrow.
"Cool, cool. Don't suppose she gave you a few bits to use at the arcade, did she?"
Morgan grinned.
"She did. Not many, but it's not like I'll need a lot. It IS my special talent, after all." Morgan smugly stated.
Stratus rolled his eyes and chuckled.
"Well, what are we waiting for? The Arcade's waiting."
Stratus and Morgan walked off, making their way to the arcade. Once she was sure that it was safe, Lyra made her way out of her hiding place and pulled out her voice recorder. Before she could speak, however, she felt a fresh pile of garbage fall on top of her. After dry heaving and wiping off what she could only assume was a batch of rotten fruit, she began to speak.
"Suspect continues to show suspicious behavior, today. Not only did he mistakenly call bits, "Coins," he also sounded like he didn't remember his own home town. Must continue observations."
The unicorn floated the device back into her bag and climbed out of the barrel. After cleaning herself off as well as she could, she caught up to the pegasus duo that was making their way to the arcade, making sure that she wasn't noticed. Once they reached the arcade, the two played the video games for nearly an hour. As Lyra watched the two of them while hiding under a muffin kiosk that was across the street, she fought the urge to fall asleep.
"I got to get going. See you later."
The mint green mare's ears perked up as she saw Morgan leaving the arcade. She brought the voice recorder up to her face as she watched him.
"No suspicious behavior displayed by the target during his time at the arcade, but I will continue to pursue him. Hopefully, we'll soon make a breakthrough on my suspicions."
"Uh, Lyra? What are you doing?"
The unicorn froze as she heard the voice. When she turned her head, she saw that a gray pegasus mare was looking at her, puzzled as to why she was hiding under a muffin kiosk. Lyra quickly scrambled out from under the kiosk and stood up.
"Oh, hey Derpy. You see..." Lyra looked around nervously to think of an explanation. Unable to think of one, Lyra picked up a muffin in her magic and hoofed it to Derpy. "Here, have a free muffin. It's on me."
Derpy's eyes lit up as she looked at the muffin in joy.
"Thanks, Lyra! You're the best." The gray mare gobbled the muffin down in one bite and happily trotted off. Lyra breathed a sigh of relief and gave the kiosk owner a couple of bits for the muffin before following Morgan once more.
After observing her target go about town and checking inside a few stores to see what they had to offer, Lyra followed him to a restaurant in the middle of town. Obviously hungry, Morgan decided to try it out. After being seated at a table on the outside, Lyra made her way to a different nearby table, while also holding up a menu to hide herself from his view. Eventually, a waiter came to wait on Morgan.
"Good evening, sir. What will you be having today?"
Morgan seemed to look over the menu, perplexed, before looking back up at the waiter.
"I'm guessing you guys don't serve steak here, do you? I'm, uh, not from around here."
The waiter gave the colt a confused look.
"How about a hamburger?"
The waiter once again had a confused look on his face.
"I'm sorry, sir, but I have never heard of either of those things."
"Well, do you guys have french fries?"
"We have hay fries. Is that what you call them from where you are from?"
"Yeah, I guess so." Morgan sighed. "I guess I'll have an order of hay fries then."
The waiter nodded and picked up Morgan's menu.
"Very good, sir. I'll have that out for you as soon as possible. I'll be back momentarily with a glass of water."
The waiter cantered off, leaving Morgan by himself. He had a slight look of disappointment.
"Should have remembered that these guys are herbivores. They may make some dang good cake, but I'd kill for some meat right now." The pegasus sighed. "First thing I'm doing when I get home is getting a nice big cheeseburger."
Meanwhile, Lyra couldn't contain her excitement over at her table. Making sure that Morgan couldn't see or hear her, she brought out her voice recorder.
"Major breakthrough! Suspect just tried to order odd, unknown things at restaurant, and then admitted to 'Missing, meat.' I don't recall ever hearing of anypony who eats meat. This may be the breakthrough I was hoping for."
"Excuse me, miss, but may I take your order?"
"No thanks, I'm just spying on that guy over there."
Lyra froze when she realized what she had just told the waiter. She looked up and saw that he was giving her a very perplexed look.
"I beg your pardon?" He asked.
"Uh...I said that I'll have a daisy sandwich, please." She nervously replied.
"Ok, then. I'll have that out for you as soon as I can."
The stallion walked off, obviously still confused by what he had heard from the odd unicorn. Putting the awkward event behind her, Lyra continued to observe Morgan as he finished his meal. As far as she could tell, he seemed to enjoy his fries, but still seemed to be disappointed that he didn't get to have whatever a hamburger was.
Shortly after leaving the restaurant, Morgan ran into Rainbow Dash. Lyra kept nearby, watching the duo talk.
"Hey, Morgan! You excited for tomorrow?" the rainbow maned mare asked.
"What's tomorrow?" Morgan asked in response.
"Your flying lesson, what else?"
Morgan's ears seemed to perk up as a wide grin spread across his face.
"Already? Awesome, I can't wait. You really think you can get me flying within a day?"
Rainbow Dash scoffed.
"Of course I can. I'm the fastest flier in Equestria. If there's anypony who can get you flying in no time at all, it's me."
"Well, can't argue with that. This is going to be sweet, flying isn't something we can do back home."
"Hey, be careful about talking about that out in public. Wouldn't want anypony else finding out about your secret," Dash responded.
"His secret, eh?" Lyra mumbled to herself. Her mind was going a mile a minute, half of her being ecstatic that they had pretty much confirmed her suspicions, and the other half being mad that she didn't capture it on tape.
"Whatever, I doubt anyone's paying attention to us." Morgan saw Rainbow Dash giving him a confused look and sighed. "I mean, I doubt anypony's paying attention to us."
"Still, you should be more careful about talking about it. It could freak ponies out, knowing where you're from."
"Oh, I'm sure it would," Lyra quietly commented, still unseen by the pegasi.
"Fine," Morgan said as he rolled his eyes. "Just be up early tomorrow. I want to start my flight lesson as soon as possible."
"I promise nothing," Dash said with a chuckle before flying off. With her gone, Lyra wasted no time in bringing out her voice recorder as she began to canter off.
"Suspicion all but confirmed now. After a conversation between the suspect and Rainbow Dash, both mentioned that the suspect is from another place where flying isn't normal. Furthermore, Rainbow Dash told the suspect that mentioning where he is from could cause people to freak out. There is virtually no question about it, anymore. Morgan is definitely a hu-"
Lyra was cut off when she suddenly bumped into somepony due to not paying attention where she was walking. Her voice recorder began to drop to the ground and she quickly caught it in her magic and put it away, before it could hit the floor.
"Sorry about that, didn't see where I was going." The unicorn looked up to offer to help the other pony up when she realized who she had bumped into. It was Morgan.
"Ugh. It's fine, don't worry about it." The pegasus awkwardly picked himself up and looked up at her. "Hey, didn't Pinkie introduce me to you the other day?"
"Yes, I think so," Lyra nervously responded. "You're Morgan, right?"
"And you're..." Morgan scratched his head.
"Lyra," she said.
"Lyra, yeah. Sorry, I was kind of blanked out, thinking about something."
"Yeah, I couldn't help but overhear you and Rainbow Dash talking about some flying lessons tomorrow."
Morgan's eyes grew wide, obviously due to not expecting that somepony had heard his conversation with Rainbow Dash. He hoped that the mention of flying lessons was all that she had heard.
"Uh...yeah. She's just giving me some flying tips and stuff. I'm not really that much of a good flier. She figured that some flying lessons would help me get the hang of it."
"Flying lessons, eh? Why haven't you learned how to fly, already?" Lyra asked nonchalantly.
"Oh, well, I didn't really get a chance to learn how to back home," Morgan hesitantly responded.
"Didn't Rainbow Dash say that you were from Los Pegasus?" Lyra asked. "I heard that they have one of the best flying academies in Equestria, second only to Cloudsdale."
"They do," Morgan nervously responded. "I, uh...had to drop out since I was moving here to Ponyville."
"But you just moved here. Shouldn't they have taught you how to fly when you were a little colt?"
"Um..." Morgan looked up at a nearby clock tower and pretended to act surprised. "Oh, dang, look at the time. I really need to get back to the library. I'll see you around, Lyra."
Before the unicorn could respond, Morgan took off as fast as he could, almost falling various times in the process. Soon enough, he was out of sight. A smirk spread across Lyra's face as she pulled her voice recorder out one final time.
"Observation Log: Day 2. Operation: Human Investigation was a complete success. After a day of observing the target, not only has suspicious behavior persisted, the suspect and I also had a personal encounter. I caught him in an obvious lie about supposedly being from Los Pegasus, forcing him to have to leave before blowing his cover. I am now certain about it. Morgan is a human. I don't know how he got here, but he is definitely not from Equestria. This is a huge discovery."
Lyra smiled to herself as she continued talking into the device.
"Until I can figure out how he got here, I should continue to keep an eye on the suspect. Tomorrow he will be receiving flying lessons from Rainbow Dash. He may not know it, nor will he find out, but I'll be there. Perhaps I'll discover another breakthrough in all of this tomorrow. Since they'll be alone tomorrow, he may even admit to being a human, thinking that nopony will be there to hear him. Looking forward to continuing the observation tomorrow."
Lyra turned off her device and placed it in her satchel. No longer being tapped, she let out a high pitched squeal of delight.
"I have got to tell Bon Bon about all of this!"
Chapter 6: Flight Lessons
"Are you some kind of lunatic?!"
I looked down in horror. I was atop a large cliff on the edge of Ponyville, with Rainbow Dash hovering closely above me. It was the day that she had promised to give me lessons on how to use my wings and she wasted no time in bringing me to what she believed was the ideal spot to learn how to fly. She had told me that it was quite the steep drop, but I wasn't anticipating it to be THIS massive. As I looked over the cliff, down at the flat and grassy land below, I figured that it was somewhere close to 10 stories high, but I was hoping that was just my imagination. I've never really been too afraid of heights, but I found himself being intimidated by the death drop. It was almost like a big mouth, eagerly awaiting its prey.
"Aw, come on, Morgan. Don't tell me you're scared of little drop like that," Rainbow Dash said as she landed on the ground next to me.
"You call this a SMALL drop?" I asked with wide eyes. "If I were to hit the ground from up here, I'd die!"
"Maybe in your world you would, but a drop like this wouldn't kill you here in Equestria," she responded, making me breathe a sigh of relief. "I'd say it would just break a bone or two."
I paled as I drank in Rainbow Dash's assertion.
"But that would probably only happen in the worst case scenario," Dash added. "You'd probably just be sore for a couple of weeks if you hit the ground."
"Ok, there is no way I'm doing this." I turned to leave.
"Morgan, you're worrying too much. You want to learn how to fly, don't you?"
"Yeah, but I'd rather not put myself in the hospital in the process," I said. "What if Twilight ended up figuring out how to get me home? It would sure as heck be hard trying to get home when I'm stuck in a hospital bed for weeks."
"Weeks? It only takes a few days to fix up broken bones," she responded, confused.
"A couple of days? How does that make any sense at-" I cut himself off and facehoofed. "Oh yeah, I'm in a cartoon. I keep forgetting that part."
As I looked over this candy-colored world of sunshine and sugar, I suddenly felt… lonely. I felt myself wondering if any time had really passed back home, and if my friends and family were worried. Even though everything here hadn't been as bad as I’d thought they'd be, the familiar taste of home was slowly slinking away from me, and I didn't know when I’d ever find it again.
Or even IF I’d ever find it again. I blinked, and suddenly, my eyes felt wet and hot.
Rainbow Dash looked at me, probably feeling my mood suddenly change. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
I wiped away my tear and hid my face. “I-It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.”
The cyan pegasus dropped from her position above, sitting down in front of me. “It doesn't sound like nothing,” she said. She examined me a little more closely as I looked away. “You’re feeling homesick, aren't you?”
I shifted, my eyes darting aside. “…A little,” I admitted.
At this, Rainbow Dash gave me something I thought I’d never receive from someone like her: a genuine, warm smile. Her rosy eyes seemed to lose their attitude and instead became like a warm fireplace at home. She rested a hoof on my shoulder.
“I know the feeling, bro. Being so far away from home hurts like nothin’ else. But you’ll go home eventually.” After a second, her hoof fell away. “If there’s a way to bring you to Ponyville, then there’s a way to get you back home. Y’just gotta hang in there.”
I paused. “Thanks,” I finally said, at a loss for anything else to say. “That was, um…”
I felt a playful punch at my shoulder. “Hey, I’m not the Element of Loyalty for nothing, y’know! I’m here for ya!” Suddenly, she scowled as she leaned into my face. “But anymore of that sappy stuff, and I’mma wreck you. Deal?”
A slow smile spread across my face. I chuckled—and suddenly erupted into a relieved laugh. Rainbow Dash joined in. It took a few minutes for the both of us to recover ourselves.
"Alright, so what's the first thing that I need to know?" I finally asked.
"First, you need to learn how to move your wings," Rainbow Dash said. I nodded and started flexing the muscles that controlled my wings, causing them to flap around. "And by move your wings, I mean how to actually flap them. Not make them look like you're trying to jerk off."
"Wait, what?"
"Eh, it's a pegasus thing."
"Right," I said as I stopped messing with my wings. "Well, at least now I know which muscles control my wings...So how do I 'control" them, exactly?"
"It's actually easier than you think. All you got to do is get the hang of moving your wings in the way you want them to. If you move the muscles up, the wings will come up." Rainbow demonstrated by bringing up her wings until they were fully stretched out. "Then you bring the muscles back down to bring down the wings." Once again, she brought down her wings and tucked them away to illustrate what she said.
"It's really that easy?" I asked, skeptically.
"Yep! Give it a try."
I nodded and focused on my wings. Slowly, I flexed my right wing’s muscles until it stood up straight. Just as carefully as before, I did the same for my left wing. I, being satisfied with this modest success, wore an ear-to-ear grin.
"Wow, that was pretty easy." I quickly dropped his wings and suddenly felt myself lifting off the ground a bit. Being shocked by being in midair, I wasn't able to react in time and fell as I came back to the ground. "Ow."
Rainbow Dash giggled to herself as I lifted myself from off the ground.
"Well, ya didn't do it too gracefully, but that's a good enough way to bring me to the next lesson: Lifting off the ground. If you lightly flap your wings up and down, you can hover above the ground." Dash started to flap her wings and lifted slightly off the ground. "And if you flap them harder, like how you did, then you can go higher." After increasing the quickness of her wing movements, the pegasus began to go higher in the air until she was nearly the height of a house above me. Finally, she brought herself back down to the ground.
"Since you're just starting out, we're not going to have you go too high."
"If that's the case, why the heck did you bring me to this cliff?" I asked.
"Not really patient, are you?" The mare asked. "Just be cool. We'll get to that in a bit. For now, I just want you to get the hang of flapping your wings and staying in the air. Remember, just lightly move your wings."
"Got it." I firmly planted my hooves on the ground and prepared myself. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and began to lightly move my wings in unison. Slowly, I felt myself beginning to lift in the air and hover above the ground. I opened my eyes and looked down. When I saw that I was successfully hovering, a wide grin spread across my face.
"Woo! Check me out," I exclaimed as I kept lightly flapping my wings to stay airborne. "This is awesome."
"Impressive," Dash said. "Just keep it up so that you can get the hang of it. If you want to move around, just lean in the direction you want to go."
I began moving around in different directions, making sure to keep up my wing movements as I did so. I started out with very slight movements to get the hang of it, then moved up to more dramatic movements as I grew more confident with my hovering. Soon enough, I found myself hovering with ease.
"Oh man, this is so cool," I said as I moved backwards in midair, trying to moonwalk as I did so. A wide grin was spreading across myself from how much I was enjoying myself.
"Not bad, Morgan," Dash complimented. "Now I want you to land."
"How do I do that?" I asked, looking down at the ground with a puzzled look.
"Just bring your wings down and stop flapping. Duh."
I nodded and did as I was told. As I began to descend, I tried to brace myself for the landing, but I landed with a solid thud anyways. Rainbow chuckled. "Nicely done. When you're high in the air, you'll want to get close to the ground and slow down before you land. Otherwise, you'll crash, and it don't feel too good. Trust me, I know."
"Yes, because I did so swimmingly at landing from the small hovering distance," I sarcastically commented as I stood back up.
"Don't worry about it," Dash replied. "Just work on your landing a bit more and you'll get the hang of it. All you need to do is make sure that all your hooves are ready for the landing. They can't be swung out somewhere, they need to be facing the ground. Do that, and landing should be a breeze."
I gave Dash a nod and began flapping my wings once again so that I would lift off of the ground. Once I made sure all four of my hooves were facing the ground correctly, I tucked my wings down and fell. This time, I stuck the landing and avoided falling down.
"You're catching on pretty quick, Morgan. I think you're ready for the next phase," the cyan pegasus said, motioning to the edge of the cliff that we were on. I gulped.
"Oh joy," I said. "What is the next phase exactly?"
"Gliding," Rainbow Dash replied. She brought her wings up and galloped off the edge of the cliff. After flapping her wings for a bit, she bent them back and leaned forward, causing her to glide through the air. She circled around and flew back up to me.
"You want me to do that?" I asked with my mouth agape. "I'll repeat my earlier question: Are you some kind of lunatic?"
"You don't have to circle back up to here," Dash responded. "I just want you to glide down to the ground."
"What, and break my skull in the process?"
"You're worrying too much, Morgan. There's nothing to it, all you got to do to glide is bring your wings back and lean forward. If you lean up and flap, then you can go up, and if you lean down, you go down. It's easier than it sounds, trust me," she said trying to assure me.
"I don't know," I hesitantly replied.
"Listen, nothing bad will happen. I won't let you get hurt, I promise."
Rainbow Dash gave me a comforting smile. After thinking about it for a bit, I sighed.
"Fine. What's the worst thing that could happen." I slowly walked up to the edge of cliff. I looked down at the long fall in terror. "You know, besides getting put in the hospital."
I tried to clear my mind and breathed in and out. Once I was as calm as I could manage, I slowly started walking back.
"Well, it's now or never." I galloped forward and began flapping his wings. Not looking directly down, I lifted into the air and soared over the edge. Once I knew that I was over, I brought my wings back and leaned forward. I could hear Rainbow Dash cheering for me back on the cliff.
"Great job, Morgan," she yelled out.
I smiled as he focused on the flying. The sensation of soaring through the air felt amazing. The wind pushed by me as if it was afraid to get in my path. As I flew, the world around me became a playset: I could go anywhere and do anything. There’s a reason why man has always dreamed of flying… and this, I decided, THIS is that reason.
I felt like he could do anything. Every other worry, my cares, my homesickness—everything… just melted away. I was flying away from those burdens, and didn’t care to look back.
"Just don't look down."
As soon as Rainbow Dash had said this, I suddenly looked down and my eyes grew wide. I had almost forgotten about how high I was off the ground and now there was no cliff to land on. All that was below me was a humongous drop. I began to panic and all of a sudden lost control of my wings. Unable to react in time, I felt himself plummeting to the ground.
"Oh shit!" I flailed his arms in terror as I rocketed down. I wanted to move my wings, but my body seemed too terrified to respond. As I looked down, the ground was approaching fast. Giving up hope, I shut my eyes tightly, readying myself for the impact. All I could do is hope that I wasn't seriously hurt when I hit the-
"Gotcha," I heard Rainbow say, interrupting my train of thought.
I felt myself land, but not on the ground. It felt like I had landed in a soft pile of marshmallows. I slowly opened my eyes and looked down in curiosity. When I looked down, I was shocked to see that not only was I not splattered on the ground, I was laying on a cloud.
"I'm...on a cloud?" I asked, incredibly puzzled.
"You sure are," Rainbow Dash replied as she stuck her head out from below the cloud. "Caught you with it just in time."
"Huh?"
Rainbow giggled at my dumbfounded look.
"Another cool thing about being a pegasus is that we can walk on clouds. Since we're able to be airborne, it's another thing that we can do, along with controlling the weather," she explained.
I looked from Rainbow Dash, to the cloud, confused. As what she had said began to sink in, I, too, began to laugh.
"Heh, so being a pegasus means I can walk on clouds, eh? I don't remember any animals back home being able to do that. This is pretty cool." I stared off as I began to think. "So unicorns and regular ponies can't walk on clouds?"
"Nope," Dash replied. "I mean, unicorns can cast a spell that allows unicorns and earth ponies to walk on clouds temporarily, but pegasi can do it naturally and all the time. Heck, we even have an entire city in the clouds." She pointed her hooves up to the sky. When I looked at where she was pointing, I saw a gigantic city of clouds up in the air. My jaw dropped as I looked at the impressive sight.
"Coooool," I said.
"Yep, that's Cloudsdale," Dash replied. "Completely made out of clouds and 100% awesome."
"Neat," I said. "So you can just move them around and stand on them however you want?"
"Pretty much. Moving clouds is part of how we're able to control the weather."
"Yeah, you guys even make the rainbows, don't you?" I asked. "I think my friend back home wanted me to read a story about it. Something about a factory."
"Cool, I could tell you about how we pegasi control the weather and what not later, but I think we should finish your flying lessons first."
"Oh yeah," I said. "And if I mess up, you'll just catch me in the cloud?"
"Right," Dash replied. "Just try to get the hang of gliding and you'll be in good shape. Try leaning different directions while you're gliding like how you did when you hovered. Just glide down to the ground. I'll be ready to catch you if something goes wrong."
"Right then." I began flapping his wings and lifted himself back up to the top of the cliff. Once there, I attempted to glide again. Taking Dash’s advice, I moved through the air in different directions, taking care to not again become drunk with the sensation of flight. I breathed in sharply as I began to full-circle in mid-air, relieved that I didn’t mess it up and have to be rescued again.
"Alright, time to land." I took a deep breath and focused. "You can do this, Morgan."
I looked down at the ground in front of me and began to lean downwards. As expected, I felt myself starting to go down, although I seemed to be increasing in speed as I went.
"Morgan, you got to have your wings out to slow down," Rainbow yelled up at the stallion as he flew down. He did as she said and stuck out his wings. Suddenly, the wind pushed against his wings, decelerating his speed. Soon enough, I was back at a comfortable speed right as I was nearing the ground. Once I was close to the bottom, I folded down my wings and safely landed.
"I did it!" I pumped my front hoof in victory. "Soared through the air like a pro. Batman ain't got crap on me!"
"Morgan, you did awesome," Rainbow Dash said as she came over to congratulate me. "That was fantastic."
"It was, wasn't it?" I confidently boasted. "I'm now on par with the pegasi in Equestria and it only took about an hour!"
"Somepony's getting a bit full of themselves, aren't they?" Rainbow Dash chuckled to herself. "Actually, you're closer to being on the same level as fillies that have just started to learn how to fly. You've got a ways to go before you reach the levels of most stallions your age."
The confident look on my face faded a bit and I began to pout.
"Of course, I could teach you some more stuff today that might get you close to where you need to be," Dash added as she nudged me. I looked up and grinned.
"Then what are we waiting for? Let's get to learning!"
"I've got to admit, Morgan, you're learning pretty well."
Rainbow Dash watched as I flew above her, flying around in circles and giggling to myself like a school girl.
"This is so sweet!" I kept laughing as I flew up and landed on a cloud. "Only a couple of hours and I'm flying like it's second nature to me!"
"Well, you're no Wonderbolt," Dash said as she flew up to join me. "But I'd say you're in pretty good shape for a human. Thanks to my radical teaching, that is. You're welcome, by the way."
"Now who's the cocky one?" I replied with a chuckle. "And, yeah, thanks for teaching me all of this. It's been fun."
"Fun, eh? Bet you didn't think you'd be using that word when you got here, did you?" Dash asked.
"I'll admit, you cartoon horses have pleasantly surprised me with some things, but I do need to get home. Actually, I think it's about time to go check on Twilight to see if she's made an progress on finding me a way home."
"Then I guess you should be heading on back to the library. I think it's about time to call it a day, anyway. You keep practicing your flying. Never hurts to try and learn some more stuff," Dash said.
"I will. Thanks again for the lessons," I said as I exchanged a hoof bump with Dash. Suddenly, I felt himself getting swept up in a tight hug. My eyes widened as Rainbow Dash pulled herself away and patted me on the back, that warm-fireplace look returning to her eyes.
"Don't mention it. See you around."
Rainbow quickly took off and dashed through the air at high speeds, becoming out of my eyesight within seconds. With her gone, I began to fly back to Ponyville. As I soared through the air, feeling the wind bend all around me, feeling so very free… I smacked right into another pegasus and fell to the ground.
"Ow. Sorry about that, wasn't watching where I was going." I looked up and saw that the pegasus that I had bumped into was a familiar one. "Derpy?"
"Huh?" Derpy looked up to see me and smiled. "Oh, hey Morgan. Don't worry about it, I wasn't really watching where I was going, either. It may sound hard to believe, but I actually bump into ponies all the time too. By the way, nice flying out there today."
"You saw that?" I asked.
"Yeah! I was on my way to deliver some mail to Ponyville when I saw Rainbow Dash and you flying. It was pretty cool."
"I see. Well, thanks," I replied. "So, you just getting done with your Ponyville mail delivery?"
"Yep, was just on my way back home when I bumped into you." Derpy's face scrunched up as she seemed to think about something. "Oh, I've been meaning to ask you, what was up with you and Lyra the other day?"
"Lyra?" I asked. "You mean that green unicorn?"
"Yeah! She was watching you the other day while you were at the arcade," Derpy replied.
"Really? Why would she be doing that?" I wondered.
"Not sure." Derpy suddenly got a look of excitement. "Ooo, what is she's like your secret admirer or something? I bet she has a crush on you!"
"Wait, what?" I asked.
"You know, you guys should totally get together. I think the two of you would make a cute couple," Derpy said.
"Uhh..."
"Heck, I bet you guys would make cute kids, too!"
"UHHH..."
"Actually, I just saw Lyra a few minutes ago near town hall. You should go make a move," Derpy suggested.
"You did?" I thought about what a pony could be doing secretly watching me and found something unsettling about it. Even though the very idea of a cartoon pony lusting after me creeped me out, I decided it was best to confront her about it. "Actually, I think I will pay her a visit."
"Oh my gosh, you two are totally going to hook up aren't you?" Derpy jumped up and down in excitement. "I can't wait to tell everypony!"
"Huh? No, Derpy wait!"
My plea was too late as Derpy had already taken off at speeds that I couldn't manage to keep up with due to my inexperience with flying. I facehoofed as my cross-eyed quarry shot for Ponyville.
“Oh great! Now they’re all gonna think I’m dating some other pony! This day was going so well, too."
I sighed and looked up at Ponyville. I narrowed my eyes as I spotted town hall.
"Oh well, what's done is done. Might as well go see what's up with this Lyra character."
Chapter 6.5: Morgan Confronts Lyra
"Just my damn luck," Morgan grumbled to himself as he flew towards town hall. "I can't go one day of finding something fun in this stupid pony town without finding out some weirdo is creeping on me!"
Morgan didn't quite know what he was going to do when he found Lyra. Part of him was hesitant to confront her as he feared that she could go psycho on him. Maybe drag him back to her shed to have her way with him. Sure, this was still the world of a children's cartoon, but when characters can do things like break into the human world, what was the point in taking chances?
"Now just where is My Little Stalker?" Morgan asked as he reached town hall. His gaze went from pony to pony. That one was too young and nerdy-looking. The one next to her had a color scheme like roses, so she’s out.
Finally, he spotted a mint-colored mare sitting on a bench. A pencil floated in a cloud of yellow, scribbling down something in a notepad. “There she is.”
Snaking his way through the throngs of ponies unnoticed, Morgan hovered over to behind Lyra and grounded himself. As he neared her, he could faintly hear her talking to herself.
"Today, subject learned how to fly from Rainbow Dash. Struggled at first, but he seemed to get the hang of it fairly easily... It's fascinating how quickly he was able to learn."
"Oh shit, Derpy wasn't lying ," Morgan thought as he listened to Lyra recounting her notes. "This crazy pony's been spying on me all day. " He gulped nervously.
Lyra seemed giddy about writing down her observations. Not interested in sticking around to see just how creepy her notes were going to get, Morgan loudly cleared his throat, startling Lyra into jumping from her seat and dropping her notepad.
"What do we have here?" Morgan asked as he began to reach for the notepad. He hesitated the moment he remembered he no longer had hands.
"Eep! D-Don't look at that!" Lyra yelled before snatching the notepad away. "It's, uh... private. "
"Is that right?" Morgan stared Lyra down with an angry glare. She nervously smiled back at him. "I'm on to you."
"I-I don't know know what you mean..."
"Cut the crap, pony. I know what you're up to."
Lyra gulped and looked around to make sure no one else was listening in on them.
"How’d you find out?" she asked once she was sure no one else could hear them.
"Let's just say a little birdie told me. Apparently, you're not the most discreet stalker ever."
"I wasn't stalking you," Lyra said. "I was just...observing you."
"Oh, yeah, that totally doesn't sound as creepy." Morgan sighed and facehoofed. "Look, just tell me why you've been creeping on me. I have enough shit on my plate as it is. I don't need the thought that some freaky pony might be spying on me in the back of my mind."
"Okay, okay, I'll tell you, just keep your voice down." Lyra took another look around before leaning in close to Morgan. "I'm what ponies around here call a human enthusiast. Ever since I was a filly, I've been fascinated by humans. They were always my favorite mythical creature."
"Mythical creature?" Morgan blurted out, earning him a confused look from Lyra.
"Yeah, you know, the kind of thing you only read about in fairy tales. They're just so... interesting! The way they talk, the way they act, and best of all, their hands! " Lyra giggled to herself cheerfully.
"What's so special about hands?" Morgan asked.
"What's not special about hands?" Lyra replied with a scoff. "Just think of all the things ponies could do if we had hands instead of hooves!"
Morgan pursed his lips and wondered. If these ponies were like the ones on Earth, he would see where Lyra was coming from... but in a world where ponies could fly, use magic, and somehow pick things up without fingers, then why would they need hands?
"Anyway,” Lyra continued, “some ponies would say my level of interest in humans is...strange."
"You mean creepy?" Morgan asked.
Lyra shot him an irritated glare. "No, not creepy. I'm just passionate in my research. So, imagine my surprise when Pinkie Pie comes up to Bon Bon and me one day to introduce us to somepony who she claims is from a different world. A world where he had hands. "
Lyra stared Morgan down. Nervously, he cleared his throat and nonchalantly shifted his eyes about.
"Oh, you know how Pinkie can be,” Morgan offered. “Girl's crazy with a capital C. I haven't been here long but she must have told me at least 20 zany stories by now." Morgan gave Lyra his most convincing smile.
Her unimpressed look told him that she wasn't buying it.
"You mentioned flying being something people can't do back in 'your world' to Rainbow Dash yesterday."
"And then you mentioned how you missed meat when you were eating in town. That's not exactly something you'd normally hear a pony complaining about."
"Holy crap, how much have you been following me?"
"A lot, ok? Listen, maybe I've been following you for a few days. Maybe I've been listening in on your conversations. Maybe I've been writing down stuff about you in this notepad. The point is, I'm not the only one here that's been caught. I think I have a substantial amount of evidence to prove that you're a human from another world. So. Admit it!"
Morgan and Lyra locked eyes and stared each other down. Lyra smiled smugly. Morgan clenched his teeth nervously.
"I-I don't know what you're talking about. Look at me, I'm a pegasus." Morgan hovered above Lyra and flew around her a bit to prove his point before landing next to her. "Nothing human about me."
"So I'm just supposed to believe it's a coincidence that you just learned how to fly today? Or how about how you're an adult pony that JUST got their cutie mark?" Lyra asked as she pointed her hoof at Morgan's flank.
"Yeah, basically. I'm... just a late bloomer, that's all. It's like a whole new world here in Ponyville compared to Los Pegasus, that's why-" Morgan stopped himself when he looked over and saw tears forming in Lyra's eyes. "...You alright?"
"It-it's just that I've dreamed of meeting a real life human for so long and just when I think I've finally found one, you tell me that you're not one. I-I just wanted humans to be real s-so bad."
Suddenly, Lyra threw her hooves around Morgan and began crying in that same, over-the-top cartoony way that Pinkie did the first day he got here. The stream of tears soaked Morgan. Her grip was too tight for him to get free.
"Hey, let me go, Lyra. I can't breathe!"
She ignored Morgan and continued to drown him in her endless stream of tears.
"Alright, alright, I'm a human, I admit it. Please let me go!"
"Aha, I knew it!" Lyra shouted immediately. She jumped around with a tearless, gleeful smile. "They're real! Humans are real! "
"Bitch tricked me!" a frustrated Morgan muttered as Lyra continued her dance of joy. "At least this'll get her to stop stalking me..."
"Oh my gosh, Morgan, this is the best day ever! " Lyra pulled him in for another tight embrace. "I've always dreamed of the day when I'd meet a real life human!"
"Yeah, it's pretty amazing. Now could you let go of me?"
"Oh. Right." Lyra broke her hug and smiled. "Sorry, I'm just... so excited! Like you don't even know how huge this is for me!"
"Well, if it means that you'll stop shadowing me everywhere, then I'm glad to hear it. Just don't tell anyone else. It's supposed to be a secret."
"My lips are sealed! Your secret's safe with me."
"Good." Morgan looked up and saw that the sky was darkening. "Well, this was fun, but I need to go. Remember, keep this to yourself."
"Wait, you can't go yet," Lyra yelled as she blocked Morgan's path. "I have so many more questions I want to ask you!"
"Look, as much as I'd love to give you my life story, I need to get back to the library before it gets dark. Maybe some other time."
"Really? Do you mean it?" Lyra had a twinkle in her eye and a huge grin on her face. Morgan sighed haggardly, knowing if he told her no, she'd probably just go back to stalking him.
"Alright, I got an idea,” Morgan said with a sudden beam. “When I find some free time, you and me can get together and you can ask me all the questions you want. Sound good?"
"Sounds fantastic!" Lyra excitedly gave Morgan another hug. "Thank you so much! This is going to be great!"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, it'll be a real blast. Just don't let me hear about you following me anymore."
"You don't have to worry. I'm going to be waaay too busy thinking up questions for you!" Lyra gasped and pulled out her notepad. "I should start writing some down now! See you later, Morgan!"
Lyra galloped off, already scribbling away in her notepad. Morgan breathed a sigh of relief.
"Man, this place is bananas. I can't wait to get some rest."
Author's Note
No, your eyes don't deceive you. You just read an update for This Can't Be Happening. I know one of the short 3rd person Lyra chapters might not be the most exciting chapter to return on, but this is a necessary setup for the next chapter involving the two. And don't worry, I'm already hard at work on the next chapter. Sorry for the long wait, you guys. Hope you enjoy the update.
Chapter 7: Morgan the Matchmaker
"What a freaking crazy day," I thought to myself as I made my way to the library. One minute I'm learning how to fly and the next I'm confronting a stalker. This world is a lot of things, but boring is definitely not one of them, that's for damn sure.
The sun had just finished setting by the time I made it to Twilight's. A cool breeze wafted through the air and somewhere I could hear the crickets chirping. A good long rest was sounding pretty good right about now.
"Hey, Twilight," I called out, shutting the door behind me. "I'm back."
But there was no response. The whole library felt quiet and empty.
"Twilight?" I called out. "You there?"
More silence. Great. She's gone.
"Well at least I got the place to myself, I guess. I wonder if she left a note or something."
I looked around in the main room. Didn't find anything. Once I was sure she didn't leave anything in the library itself, I decided to check the kitchen, but didn't have any better luck there.
"Maybe she left it upstairs."
"Left what upstairs?" came a voice, suddenly.
I jumped backwards with a shout, startling Spike. He held his claws up defensively, eyes wide as saucers.
"Holy crap, dude, where the heck did you come from?"
"I was in the basement organizing some things," Spike responded as he regained his composure. "Where have you been? Twilight said you should have been back from your flight lessons half an hour ago."
"Uh, I... had... something that... needed taking care of," I replied uneasily. "But anyway, where IS Twilight?"
"She told me to tell you that she was heading to the Canterlot library to see if she could find anything that could help her figure out how to get you home. She'll be back in a few days."
"So...we got the place to ourselves until then?" I asked.
"Pretty much. I offered to go with her, but she wanted me to stay behind and make sure you don't accidentally trash the place or something."
Gee whiz, thanks Twilight. I know I can still have a hard time doing things as a pony, but I don't need a freaking baby sitter...
"Well, at least that might help her find me a way home. Guess I can go ahead and get some rest."
I began making my way to the guest bed, but Spike stopped me before I could reach the stairs.
"Wait a minute. I've, uh, been meaning to ask you something..."
I looked at Spike curiously. "Go on..."
"The thing is, I'm surrounded by girls all the time so I can never get another guy's advice on things. But, since you're here, I can finally do that."
"A guy's advice, eh? Sure, I guess I could help you out. What do you need advice on?"
"Well...there's this girl that I've really liked for a long time now."
"You mean that white pony that likes fashion?" I asked, remembering how he acted around her in what little I saw of the show before Pinkie brought me here.
"Yeah, Rarity. I've been crazy for her ever since me and Twilight came to Ponyville, but she only sees me as a friend."
The dreaded friendzone. An eldritch cockblocker that strikes without warning. A place I knew all too well. Even the world of ponies wasn't safe from its influences. Something had to be done!
"So you want me to help you find a way to get her to see you as more than a friend? Well, Spike my man, you've come to the right guy."
OK, so that's a lie. I've only had one relationship in the past few years and that ended... really badly. Still, how hard could it be to help a dragon hook up with a pony?
"Awesome," Spike replied with a grin. "I knew I had to get you for advice after hearing about you going out with Lyra."
"Yeah, I'm guess I'm p-prettybuttwhatt, what, what, WHAT did you just say?"
"Derpy visited a while ago before you got here and told me about it," Spike replied while nodding along to his statements. "She seemed really excited, said you two made a good couple."
"We are NOT a couple!" I stomped my hoof and snorted in frustration, but tried to calm down after catching these pony mannerisms. "I can't believe she's actually started spreading that around so fast. When I get my hands on that cross-eyed twerp I'm gonna-"
"So does this mean you can't help me with Rarity?" Spike asked, interrupting my tirade. I coughed and composed myself.
"No, I didn't say that. I can totally help you with your lady problems, I just wanted to make it clear that I didn't have the hots for a pony. What kind of freak would want to go out with a different species?"
As soon as I realized what I had said, I looked down to see Spike giving me a frustrated stare, arms folded and an eyebrow raised. I flashed him a sheepish grin.
"No offense, of course. There's actually plenty of people that I know back home that are into that kind of stuff."
"Look, are you gonna help me get Rarity to like me or not?"
Well, it's not like I have anything better to do for the next few days.
"Yeah, I'll help you out. By the time I'm done with you, Rarity will practically be begging to go out with you."
Spike gave me a hesitant look.
"And you have experience with girls back where you come from?" he asked.
"Of course," I enthusiastically replied. "Plenty of experience."
"How many girls have you dated?"
"Not important. What IS important is that with my expertise, you'll be dating Rarity in no time."
"If you say so," Spike replied, now sounding more convinced. "When can you start helping me?"
"We'll start tomorrow. I've had a long day, so I'm pretty gassed out right now."
"Sounds like a plan." Spike stuck his claw out for a handshake, which I obliged to. "I really appreciate the help, Morgan."
"Hey, it's no problem. Now if you'll excuse me, bed is calling my name. See you in the morning."
I flew myself upstairs and landed next to my bed. It felt pretty damn good to fly here instead of clumsily stumbling up on hooves. After finally resting myself on the comfiness of the bed, I took a minute to think about what I had just promised Spike. It was bad enough how inexperienced I was with human girls, how should I know how to hook Spike up with a pony girl? I also seemed to recall Twilight saying something about Spike being a "baby" dragon in the cartoon. Would him being with Rarity make her a pedophile? Would I go to pony jail if I set these two up?
"Fuck it, I'll figure it out tomorrow," I mumbled to myself before forgetting about how I'd help Spike and instead letting the welcoming embrace of slumber whisk me away.
"Alright, Spike, first things first. What do you know about girls?"
Spike and I were outside Rarity's boutique, keeping our distance while I quizzed him. According to him, Rarity was going to be working on her newest fashion line today, so she would be leaving soon to buy supplies in town. We didn't know when she would come out, so we were wasting no time in thinking up a game plan.
"Well, they're a lot different than guys. They're more emotional, they like fashion, they-"
"No no no no," I interrupted. "I mean, what do you know about what girls like in guys? What's the best way to get a girl to like you?"
"Uh..." Spike paused and took a minute to ponder this. "They like when guys buy them stuff and give them lots of attention?"
"Wrong! The opposite is true."
Spike looked confused.
"Girls like what they can't have," I explained. "If a guy showers them in attention, they're almost guaranteed to be labeled as a friend by her. Girls like it when you play hard to get."
"Hard to get?" Spike asked.
"Yeah, hard to get," I replied. "You need to act like you have no interest in Rarity. Pretend that you're too busy for her and make it seem like you don't care. Once you do that, you'll have her eating out of your ha... claws, desperate to get you to notice her."
"Girls like it when you ignore them?"
"They sure do. Works all the time back home. Trust me on this."
Spike shrugged.
"If you say so. Guess it can't hurt to try."
Suddenly, the door to the boutique swung open and who else but Rarity herself trotted out, carrying a basket on her back.
"Now's your chance. Once she sees you and asks you to help her, just play it cool and act uninterested. She'll love it."
I quickly hid inside a nearby bush and peeked out to watch how Spike did. Sure enough, Rarity soon spotted him and cheerfully made her way over.
"Spikeywikey! It's so good to see you, darling. As you know, I'm starting my newest line today and have quite a lot of shopping to do. Would you mind helping me?"
Spike paused and nonchalantly looked away with his arms folded.
"I don't know," he replied. "I'd have to check my schedule. There's a lot of things I got lined up."
"Oh really?" Rarity asked. "What kind of things?"
"I'm, uh... doing... stuff. And thangs."
"Well, I don't want to keep you from whatever it is you're doing. I can just make multiple trips if need be."
Spike didn't know how to respond so he just looked away in silence. After a few awkward seconds of Rarity staring at Spike perplexed had passed, she began walking away.
"Well," Rarity said quickly. "I, er, must be on my way. Have a nice day, Spike."
Rarity trotted away, giving me the opportunity to emerge from my bush and trot over to Spike. He groaned and facepalmed once Rarity was out of sight.
"I don't think that went too well," he told me.
"Nah, you did great," I replied. "Keep that up for a while and you should have her right where you want her."
"What do you mean for a while?" Spike asked. "How long is this supposed to take?"
"I don't know. A couple of days? A few weeks? I've never tried it."
Spike gave me a perplexed look. "What do you mean you haven't tried it?"
"I've just seen guys do it on TV and stuff," I replied. "It usually works pretty fast for them."
Spike sighed. "How am I supposed to know if this will actually work? What if she gets a boyfriend while I'm ignoring her? This could just be a big waste of time."
"Fine, fine. We'll try something else." I took a second to think over how else I could get Spike to win over Rarity. After considering my options, an idea finally came to me. "I got it! Time for Plan B."
"Excuse me, Morgan? Um, what did you say you wanted me to do?"
I ignored Fluttershy's question for the moment while I looked around the Ponyville market for Rarity. Fluttershy and Spike were close behind me, awaiting my instructions.
"Apparently he needs you for his plan to get Rarity to like me," Spike replied.
"We needed another girl for this plan," I said, glancing Fluttershy's way. "You were the first one we found."
Fluttershy raised an eyebrow slowly then shook her head. "But, Spike, you don't need my help to get Rarity to like you," Fluttershy said. "She already does. Everypony likes you."
"I don't want her to just like me, though. I want her to like me." Spike tried to get his point across, but Fluttershy didn't seem to be getting it as she still seemed absolutely puzzled. "You know... I want her to like me the same way she liked Prince Blueblood."
"Ooooooh," Fluttershy replied with a small squee. "That's nice, but how could I possibly help you with that?"
"Easy," I said with a smirk. "With a little thing called jealousy."
"We're making Rarity jealous?" Spike asked.
"Yes! Back home there's no better way to get a girl's attention," I explained. "Girls get extremely jealous super easy. If you make her think that you're going out with Fluttershy here, jealousy will make her want to have you for herself."
Spike and Fluttershy exchanged looks of uncertainty.
"I don't think that will work," Fluttershy said. "Spike and I aren't dating."
I facepalmed... facehoofed? I did that thing with pushing a hoof to my forehead, and groaned. Geez, this chick is clueless!
"I know you two aren't dating," I said, trying to keep my voice calm. "You're just gonna pretend so that Rarity only thinks that you are."
"But wouldn't that be lying?" Fluttershy gasped. "I don't want to lie to my friend like that."
Holy shit. I really picked the wrong horse for this.
"Fluttershy, you're Spike's friend aren't you?" I asked, to which she nodded in response. "So if Spike needs your help with something, you'd want to do it, wouldn't you?"
She timidly looked at the ground and slowly nodded again. "I-it's not that I don't want to help, it's just that this all seems so," she started while looking back up at me, only to glace away a bit, "Sneaky. I'm not a good liar. What if Rarity doesn't believe us?"
"Don't worry about it, it'll be easy. Spike will handle the hard parts."
Spike raised an eyebrow at me.
"All you gotta do is act flattered and return his compliments. Sounds simple enough, right?"
"I suppose so," Fluttershy quietly responded. "But what if Rarity gets mad at me for lying?"
"If this all works out, Spike and Rarity will end up happily ever after together," I explained. "If anything, she'll thank you for setting her up with Spike."
She returned her gaze to the ground. "O-ok, I'll help."
Radical. Now we had her on board and we were good to go. I looked over at Spike with a grin, only to see him narrowing his eyes at me, arms folded.
"Are you sure this will work?" Spike asked. "The whole ignoring thing didn't do anything but make her think I'm a weirdo."
"It'll work like a charm," I assured him. "When Rarity comes by, just keep showering Fluttershy in compliments and acting all lovey dovey with her. Really rub it in her face that the two of you are going out ." I was about to use air quotes to emphasize that last part, but then I remembered that I have no fingers, so I just used my whole hooves instead.
Spike still didn't look convinced.
"And that'll make her want to go out with me?" he asked.
"Correctamundo. Like I said, girls want what they can't have. This'll just speed up the process because she'll see that you're with someone else. Trust me, I've seen it work before." Actually, that was kind of a lie since it was just another thing I saw people do on TV, but Spike didn't have to know that part.
I scanned the area for Rarity and finally spotted her near a red kiosk where she was purchasing some kind of fabric. "Alright, Spike, she's buying some fabric. What does she usually buy after that?"
"For a project like this?" he asked. "She'd probably go get some string from that stand over there." He pointed to a green kiosk with an elderly pony behind it. It was nearly on the other side of the marketplace from where Rarity was.
"Perfect," I replied. "What I want the two of you to do once Rarity is on the move is bump into her. Play it off casually like you didn't see her, and then when she asks what the two of you are doing, start playing up the relationship act. Boom! Perfect setup."
"I guess that'll work," Spike said as he thought the plan over. "That all sound ok to you?"
"I suppose so," Fluttershy quietly replied.
I glanced back over at Rarity and saw that she was beginning to make her way over to the string kiosk. Now was their chance. I silently motioned my hoof at her, giving Spike and Fluttershy their cue. They were nervous, but the two of them took a deep breath and made a beeline for Rarity's path. They bumped into her just as I had instructed.
"Oh, sorry Rarity. Didn't see you there," Spike said nonchalantly. I hovered nearby behind a barrel.
"It's quite alright, Spike darling," she replied. "I should have been watching where I was going."
Suddenly, Rarity cocked her head to the side and raised an eyebrow at Spike and Fluttershy. "Pardon me for asking, Spike, but didn't you say you were going to be preoccupied today?"
"Oh, well, you see the thing is..." Spike glanced around nervously, first not focusing on anything in particular, then looking at Fluttershy, then at me. I motioned to Fluttershy impatiently. "I-I'm, uh, pre-preoccupied... because I'm spending the day with Fluttershy!"
Rarity curiously looked at Fluttershy, who let out a startled yelp and hid her face behind Spike.
"I see," Rarity said. "Well, nothing wrong with spending the day with a good friend."
She was about to leave so I quickly motioned for Spike to keep the conversation rolling.
"Actually," Spike said before cutting Rarity off, "it's a little more serious than that. You see, Fluttershy and I...are dating!"
Rarity gasped and Fluttershy's face turned a crimson red as she struggled with not spilling the beans. Spike was like a deer in the headlights, waiting for Rarity to respond.
"Fluttershy, is this true?" she asked. Fluttershy was cartoonishly sweating and shaking. She glanced over at me and I nodded at her.
"Y-yes. M-me and S-Spike are d-dating," she shakily replied. Rarity looked over at Spike who flashed her a sheepish grin. He looked to me and I tried to motion for him to keep it up.
"That's right. I mean could you blame me?" Spike said coolly. "After all, Fluttershy is like the ponification of beauty."
"Really?" Rarity and Fluttershy asked at the same time, with the later covering her mouth after realizing she said it too.
"Absolutely," Spike slowly replied, trying to keep the charade going. "I mean, she's pretty, she's nice, she's great with animals. Fluttershy is just great."
"Y-you really think that?" Fluttershy asked while blushing.
"Of course," Spike said while putting his arm over her. "That's why we're dating isn't it?"
Fluttershy's gaze met mine and she suddenly appeared to remember that she needed to keep up the act as well.
"T-that's right! And I think you're really sweet and funny. That's why we're d-dating."
Fluttershy and Spike both gave Rarity their best fake smile. Doing my best not to be seen, I hovered over to a nearby kiosk so that I could pretend to be buying something while getting a better view of how Rarity was reacting. Her eyes were narrowed and she didn't seem convinced. Spike looked like he was about to come clean when she suddenly let out a high pitched squee.
"Oh my gosh, darlings, this is absolutely wonderful! You know, I always thought the two of you would make an adorable couple, and oh, how right I was."
"You did?" a dumbfounded Spike asked.
"But of course, darling. I have an eye for these sort of things," she proudly replied. "Oh we simply must throw the two of you a celebratory party. I'll go inform Pinkie Pie as soon as I finish my shopping. You two lovebirds have fun."
Rarity pranced off, humming to herself.
"You have to be kidding me," I mumbled under my breath. I flew over to Spike and Fluttershy, who were both still dumbfounded from Rarity's reaction.
"Well that didn't work," I said as I flew down to the two of them.
"Ya think?" Spike sarcastically replied with some anger in his voice. "Now she's going to have everyone thinking me and Fluttershy are dating."
"Does that mean we're breaking up?" Fluttershy sadly asked.
"You two weren't dating in the first place, it was just an act," I reminded her.
"Oh. R-right." Fluttershy lowered her head and sighed sadly. She slowly trotted away with her bottom lip quivering.
While Fluttershy was busy moping, I tried to think of some sort of way to turn this all around. If the jealousy trick didn't work on Rarity, what would?
"Listen Morgan, I appreciate you trying to help, but this isn't working. I'm just gonna tell Rarity that Fluttershy and I were joking around so that-"
"Hold that thought!" An idea suddenly clicked. Spike jumped back in surprise. I could feel a grin spreading across my face. It was so obvious! Ignoring her didn't work and jealousy didn't work, but there's one sure thing that absolutely HAD to work.
"What's up?" Spike asked curiously.
"It's time for the last resort," I replied. "Plan C."
With Fluttershy gone and Rarity on her way home from shopping, Spike and I had one last shot to get her all over him.
"Alright, this is our last chance before I have to spill the beans to her since she'll tell Pinkie about me and Fluttershy if I don't." Spike calmly said. "What's the plan?"
"Easy," I replied. "You have to be a jerk to her."
"Alright, sounds simple en- wait, what?" Spike looked absolutely shocked.
I rolled my eyes. "Dude, this is the 100% certain way to win over a girl. They love it when you treat them like crap."
"Crap?" Spike asked.
"Like crud," I replied. Stupid kid friendly shows.
"Why the heck would I want to treat her like crud? Isn't that mean?" he asked.
"It's absolutely mean. That's the whole point."
Spike looked at me like I was insane.
"Listen, you know what happens to guys that treat a girl well all the time? They end up in the friendzone."
"The friendzone?"
"Think of it this way," I tried to explain. "You've always treated Rarity like she's a goddess in an attempt to win her over. How has that worked out for ya?"
Spike opened his mouth to retort, but a sudden realization seemed to hit him as he thought this over.
"Sure, girls like it when guys treat them great, but they only like them as friends." I thought my words over as the cruel memories of my own experiences came rushing back. Girls are assholes sometimes. "But guys that treat them like crud? Oh man, they love it. Girls love rebels and bad boys, so if you treat Rarity like crud, she'll be crazy for you."
Spike pondered this. Can't say I blamed him. It was a hard choice to make.
"Listen man, do you want this chick or not?"
He looked out into the distance and saw that Rarity was fast approaching. He was sweating like crazy, but he finally made his hands into fists and grew a serious look. It was do-or-die time.
"Alright, I'll try it. This better work."
"You know what they say, man, third time's the charm." I gave Spike a reassuring pat on the back and quickly made myself out of sight on top of the boutique, leaning in slightly to listen. "Remember, don't hold back. She'll love it."
Spike took a nervous gulp and braced himself as Rarity approached the boutique where he was leaning against.
"Spike, you're back! Here to help me carry in my goods, I presume?"
Shaking like a leaf, Spike looked like he was already about to chicken out. After an awkward pause, he sighed and looked away from Rarity.
"Of course not. Why would I want to do something stupid like that?" Spike replied coldly.
Rarity was nearly speechless. "Uh, ok darling," she hesitantly said. "Where's Fluttershy?"
"Broke up with her. Things weren't working out."
"My goodness, I'm so sorry dear." Rarity began reaching her hoof out to him. "Is there anything I could do to help?"
"As if," Spike replied as he shooed away her hoof. "You couldn't even help yourself. I bet that new line is gonna come out looking terrible."
"W-what?" Rarity asked, stunned. "Spike, you don't mean that."
"Sure do. Looking at that stuff you got, anything you make is gonna be a disaster," he said as he looked at her basket of supplies. "Just a bunch of junk."
"Spike, why would you say such horrid things?" Rarity replied, beginning to tear up.
"Cause that's how the new Spike rolls," he said, trying to sound tough. "I tell it like it is, even to dumb ponies like you."
Spike looked like he was getting ready to continue when Rarity suddenly burst out into tears. These tears weren't as cartoony as when Pinkie and Lyra did it, though. These were genuine.
"Aw shit," I mumbled to myself. I really screwed this up.
"R-rarity? Are you ok?" Spike timidly asked, getting no response as Rarity continued to sob. "I was only kidding. I didn't mean any of that, honest!"
Nothing but more crying in response. I fucked this up bad. Spike was panicking. He didn't know what to do. I flew down, getting Rarity's attention as I landed.
"He's telling the truth Rarity, he didn't mean any of it."
Rarity stopped crying long enough to look up at me with her tear covered face, makeup running down her cheeks like crazy. "Morgan? What do you mean?"
"Spike came to me asking for help on how to win you over, so all day I've been trying to help him with my crappy advice. The ignoring you today, the thing with Fluttershy, the way he just acted...they were all my ideas."
I hung my head in shame and tried to not look at how angry Rarity was going to be.
"I-I don't quite understand," Rarity replied, staring to calm down.
"We tried to figure out a way to get you to like me," Spike sheepishly said. "It was my fault for doing all of that stuff and not just asking you."
"No, it was my fault for giving you shitty advice," I pointed out. I wasn't about to let Spike take the full blame for my screw ups. "I kept telling him all this stupid stuff, thinking one of them would actually get you to like him."
"But Spike, I already like you," Rarity replied. "Everypony does."
"No, he means we were trying to get you to like me," Spike said. Rarity still looked confused.
"He wants to go on a date with you," I said bluntly.
"What he said," Spike added, blushing.
Rarity began wiping away her tears and actually started forming a smile. "Spike, you don't have to do all these ridiculous things to ask me out on a date."
"Yeah, that's my bad," I replied with a chuckle.
"Well... I suppose if you went through all this trouble to ask me for a date, it would be rude to not accept one."
"Really?" Spike and I asked at the same time.
Rarity giggled and nodded.
Spike leaped in the air cheered. "Alright! This is the best day ever!"
"Come on, Spike," Rarity said as she placed a hoof on Spike's shoulder and smiled. "We can arrange the date while we start work on my new line, hm?"
"Sounds great to me," a giddy Spike replied before rushing into the boutique carrying Rarity's goods. She giggled and followed him inside, leaving me by myself outside.
"Well... I guess that kind of worked," I said out loud. Fuck it, that definitely counts as a victory for me. I gave Spike advice, and now he has a date with Rarity. These ponies can call me Morgan the Matchmaker from now on.
With nothing better to do, I started making my way to the arcade. I didn't have any bits on me, but watching other people play beats sitting at the library doing nothing. Stratus was there playing Princess and Shield.
"Still trying to beat my high score?" I asked as I approached him.
"Nah," he said dismissively. "They turn off the machines each night and that ends up resetting the high scores."
I frowned.
"It was beginners luck either way," Stratus continued. He suddenly groaned as his character died for the last time, the game asking him if he wanted to continue.
After he fished for some bits in his wallet, he looked aside at me. "Hey, is it true what they've been saying about you?"
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"That you're going out with Lyra now! Dude, she's a real looker. A bit crazy, but still good looking. You got lucky."
Son of a bitch. With all this Spike and Rarity nonsense, I completely forgot about that. Damn you, Derpy.
"Nah, it isn't true. I'm just paying her a visit later, that's all."
"Ah, I see how it is," Stratus replied, giving me a sly grin.
"Shut up," I replied. He laughed and returned to his game while I watched. With Twilight gone and Spike taken care of, tomorrow was going to be when I went to Lyra's. I kind of regretted making that deal with her in the first place because who knew what the hell she was gonna be like when I went to her house, but a deal is a deal. Hopefully things weren't going to get TOO crazy with her.
Chapter 7.5: Interview With a Human
“Tell. Me. EVERYTHING!”
Lyra leaned forward and grinned as Morgan fidgeted in his seat. He was sitting on a sofa in Lyra’s living room while she sat in a chair opposite of him, holding a pencil and notepad in the air with her magic. Between them was a wooden coffee table where a small device sat. Morgan looked puzzled and rubbed the back of his head.
“So, what’s that thing for?”
“It’s a recording device,” Lyra replied. “Runs on magic. Now let’s get started!”
“Well… where do you want me to start?” Morgan asked.
“Tell me about the world you come from,” Lyra replied, bouncing in her seat with a huge smile. “What’s it like?”
“It’s, uh, a lot like this world, I guess. Just with humans instead of ponies.”
“So there’s no ponies where you come from?” Lyra asked with a raised eyebrow, eyeing Morgan’s face as she tried to read him.
“Oh, yeah, we have ponies. They’re just not intelligent back home. They’re animals.”
There was a pause before Lyra slowly wrote this down in her notepad with a raised eyebrow.
“Think of it this way,” Morgan started. “There’s animals here that aren’t intelligent like you ponies. They can’t talk and do things the way you guys do. Bunnies, for example. That’s how ponies are back where I come from. Pretty much everything besides humans are that way.”
“Ponies can’t even speak?” Lyra asked.
“Nope,” Morgan said, shaking his head. “They just stand around eating hay. Humans like to ride on them. I really liked horseriding when I was a kid.”
“Oooh, show me!”
Lyra hopped off of the chair and squatted, all while grinning up at Morgan.
“You… want me to ride you?” Morgan asked.
Lyra gleefully nodded her head. “It all sounds so fascinating! I’d like to properly experience how ponies live in your world.”
“I, uh, don’t think that’ll work with me being a pony,” Morgan hesitantly replied, blushing like someone spilled red paint on his face. “I’m kind of heavy.”
“Nah, it’ll be fine. I’m stronger than I look!”
Morgan looked around nervously, making sure Bon-Bon was nowhere to be seen. He glanced at the windows to make sure the curtains were blocking the view from the outside. He sighed.
“It’s a good thing the people that think we’re dating can’t see this…”
Reluctantly, Morgan straddled Lyra and sat on her back. She grunted, but kept her smile and stayed strong.
“Alright, now what?” Lyra asked.
“Now just walk around.”
Lyra did as Morgan said and began walking around the room while he sat on her back. It was easy enough for her at first, but Morgan was as heavy as a sack of bricks. Morgan eyed her curiously, making sure he wasn’t crushing her. Lyra tried to keep her enthusiastic smile, but it slowly faded the more she walked. It was getting painful to support his weight, but there was something strangely enjoyable about riding him around the room, however, any enjoyment she was having left as she began to struggle carrying him any farther. She was prepared to collapse when Morgan saw her wobbling and quickly flew off.
“That was… interesting,” Lyra said as she panted and made her way back to her chair. “Why do humans do that, anyway?”
“Mostly as a mode of transportation,” Morgan replied as he went back to the couch. “Some people race horses, though. And kids just like to ride them because they like ponies.”
“Fascinating!” Lyra let out a small squee and bounced up and down. “I’m learning so much! Tell me more about human life. What is it like?”
“A lot like pony life, actually. We go to work or school, go shopping for food and supplies, relax with stuff like reading and videogames, spend time with friends and family. You ponies actually aren’t much different.”
Lyra notice a sort of realization in Morgan’s eyes as he said this. She grinned and jotted this down in her notepad.
“Surely there has to be some differences between humans and ponies,” Lyra said.
“Well sure,” Morgan replied. “I mean, we have hands and feet instead of hooves. None of us have wings or magic horns, either. That’s pretty different, I guess.”
Lyra narrowed her eyes and leaned in closer. “Come ooooon, Morgan, there has to be more differences than that.”
Morgan sat and pondered what else there was to say. He shrugged and leaned back.
“Well, if I’m being honest, ponies here are a lot nicer than humans,” Morgan said. “I mean, most people back home ARE nice, but there’s a lot of messed up people where I come from. Murderers, thieves, rapists. Worst thing I’ve seen a pony here do is try to make it night all the time.”
“We have bad ponies like that here in Equestria, too.”
“Well, I don’t think there’s nearly as many of them here as there is back home,” Morgan replied.
“So you like it better here?” Lyra asked.
“Now I didn’t say that,” Morgan quickly replied, almost sounding offended. “This place is definitely nicer, but that isn’t necessarily a good thing. All the bright colors and smiling faces everywhere in this world could make a guy like me barf. I don’t hate this place or anything, but it definitely took some getting used to. Guess that’s what I should expect from a little girl’s cartoon, but still.”
“A little girl’s cartoon? What do you mean by that?”
Morgan’s eyes went wide and he swore under his breath.
“Oh, nothing. Say, wanna hear more about the planet humans live on?” Morgan asked, eager to quickly change the subject.
Lyra’s face went from confusion to joy as she nodded her head in approval. “Oh, yes please!”
“OK, so we live on this planet called Earth,” Morgan explained. “Lot of water there. The land is broken up into a bunch of different continents. Those continents are broken up into different countries. Each country has their own history and culture that’s different from the other ones.”
“What’s your country like?” Lyra asked.
“It’s pretty alright,” Morgan replied. “I’ve visited other countries before, but I don’t think I’d want to stay in any of them. Life can be pretty good where I live. A lot of people from other countries call us fat and stupid, but those are just stereotypes. You guys do any stereotyping here in Equestria?”
“Kind of,” Lyra said. “Like, there’s some ponies who always assume that everypony from places like Canterlot and Manehattan are prim and proper, that they’re uptight and no fun. Stuff like that. But enough about us, tell me more about your world!”
“Well, in different areas of my world, places look way different. Like, in one part of the world you might see a bunch of sand and it’ll be hot as heck, while in other places it’s all icy and cold. Even in one country there can be loads of differences depending on where you are.”
“How about all these different countries you keep mentioning?” Lyra asked as she scribbled in her notepad. “How are they different from each other?”
“Differences in cultures is the big thing,” Morgan replied. “I mean, every place has their own rich history and traditions. There’s a bunch of other things too. Like, there’s different languages, different governments, even different kinds of food.”
“How is the food different?”
“It’s hard to explain. Some countries are just known for certain kinds of food. There’s even some things acceptable to eat in some places that other places would never serve as food. Like countries that eat dog.”
“They eat dogs?” Lyra screamed, eyes wide and mouth agape.
“Like I said, each country is different.”
“This is all so amazing to listen to,” Lyra said with a cheery smile. “But now I want you to tell me more about yourself and how life is for you.”
Morgan raised an eyebrow. “You... want me to tell you about my life?” His eyes darted about uncomfortably before settling back on Lyra. “Like, uh, like my personal life?”
Lyra grinned and nodded. “I wanna know how life was like for you as a human before coming to Ponyville.”
“I, uh, I dunno,” Morgan said almost hopefully as he continued to fidget uncomfortably. “Wouldn’t that stuff bore you?”
“Absolutely not,” she said with a gleeful sparkle in her eyes. “Like I said, tell me everything!”
Morgan took another look at the windows, then looked around for Bon-Bon once more.
“If it’s Bon-Bon you keep checking for, she isn’t coming back for another hour or so,” Lyra said. “I asked her to give us plenty of time for the interview. It’s just you and me here!”
After taking one last look at the front door, Morgan sighed and began thinking.
“Well… I don’t really want to give you my life story but I guess I could just kind of go over the big details. The place I live back home is in the country. Not like the deep country or anything where you hear banjos and see hillbillies everywhere, but it’s definitely country. You know how I said people from other countries call mine fat and stupid?”
Lyra nodded.
“Well, there’s a few people near me that don’t exactly help get rid of that stereotype,” Morgan continued. “Most people aren’t like that, but my kind of area is one of the main places where those stereotypes come from. Besides that, I can’t complain about the area. A lot of great and hospitable people there. The mountain scenery is beautiful, and there’s always plenty to do. There’s this one town just an hour or so away that has this cool amusement park and stuff. They got this museum dedicated to Elvis and-”
Morgan looked over and saw that he was starting to lose Lyra as he went into more stuff she didn’t understand. He cleared his throat and looked away.
“Anyway, I’ve had to go to school since I was a kid. I don’t know how long you ponies do education, but our’s lasts like 13 years. And that’s not even counting college.”
Lyra raised an eyebrow.
“It’s this place where people go when they’re done with school to do more school related to what they want to do for a career. Gets them a better job and stuff.”
“Oooooh,” Lyra replied, intrigued with Morgan’s information as she wrote it down in her notepad.
“So anyway, I’m in the middle of finishing up my last year of school before college. School’s alright. I’ve never had much trouble with it. Only in math, really. Algebra is bullshit.”
“You have a very odd vocabulary,” Lyra suddenly replied. “I’ve never heard that word before.”
“It kind of ties back into what I said about ponies being nicer than humans,” Morgan said. “We have all these curse words we say for certain stuff when we get mad or frustrated, or if we just wanna be rude. I don’t know why we say them, we just do.”
“Interesting,” Lyra said. “Continue!”
“Alright, so yeah, school. Getting an education is all fine and good, but if you ask me, the best part about school is meeting people. School is how you meet your best friends for most people. I’ve never exactly been Mr. Popular, but I’ve still made some great friends. Me and some other guys like to get together, order some pizza, then just kick back and play videogames all night. I was actually in the middle of one of those nights with two of my friends when-”
Morgan trailed off and had a faraway look in his eyes. Lyra, puzzled, looked him over and waited for him to continue. A realization hit her as she saw a tear beginning to form in the corner of his eye.
“You’re feeling homesick, aren’t you?”
“Hm? Oh, uh, no!” Morgan wiped the tear away and shook his head. “Just lost my train of thought.”
Lyra smiled and sat her notepad down.
“You know, it was really hard for me to move here to Ponyville at first,” Lyra said. “I missed my parents so much. If I didn’t have Bon-Bon here to keep me company, I don’t think I would have been able to handle being away from them. I definitely know how you’re feeling.”
Morgan was silent. He looked at the floor and began to get that faraway look in his eyes again.
“They’re probably worried sick about me. Brycen and Axel probably especially feel like crap since this all happened while I was with them.” Morgan saw Lyra giving him a confused look. “Those are the names of two of my friends that I mentioned.”
“I see,” Lyra replied. “Well, I’m sure they’ll be glad to see you when you get back!”
Morgan chuckled and nodded his head. “I’d hope so. I’ve been gone for at least a week now. Some of them probably think I’m dead or something. It’s gonna be wild explaining to them what happened.”
“So what other interesting things can you tell me about yourself?” Lyra asked.
“Can’t really think about much else,” Morgan replied. “Nothing much I could say about my life at home. I got a few cats. Honestly, I mostly hang out with friends and play videogames in my spare time.”
“Well what about dating?” Lyra suddenly asked. “A lot of ponies have been asking me questions about us dating for some reason.”
“You can blame Derpy for that,” Morgan grumbled. “I don’t know, talking about how I am with girls is complicated. Know what I mean?”
“Not really,” Lyra replied with a wry kind of smile. “I haven’t exactly asked a mare out before.”
“But aren’t you and Bon-Bon…”
“Huh? No! Not at all,” Lyra quickly replied. “We’re just friends. I actually think she’s going out with some stallion right now. We just live together.”
“Fair enough,” Morgan said. “Anyway, the whole girl situation is a mess. I’ve had some bad experiences with them.”
“Well, if it’s something you’re uncomfortable with talking about, you don’t have to,” Lyra replied. “But if you DO wanna talk about it, I’m all ears!”
Morgan glanced around before he leaned forward and cleared his throat.
“Well, I’m not exactly what you would call an expert with the ladies. I’ve made very few attempts at actually showing interest in girls after some of my experiences.”
“Go ooooon,” Lyra said in a playful tone.
“There was this one girl a few years ago that actually asked me out. Things were pretty good for about all of one day before she started getting looney on me. Not even a week of dating and she was already talking about marriage and kids and stuff. She started spreading all these rumors of things that we had done, none of which were true. It all freaked me the heck out. I noped out of that relationship before things could get any weirder.”
“Reminds me of a stallion I dated in school,” Lyra replied. “We weren’t even going out for a week and he was threatening anypony who even so much as glanced at me. Super overprotective. Needless to say, we didn’t last long. So is that the only time you’ve tried to form a relationship with a girl?”
Morgan grew silent. He narrowed his eyes and began to glare at nothing in particular. Lyra took note of his stare and cleared her throat.
“I’m, uh, sorry I ask-”
Morgan held a hoof up to Lyra to shush her. He sighed and looked at her.
“I DID try to make things work with one other girl,” he started. “Thought me and her would work out well. Had a lot of things in common, always had a good time talking to her during class, I was fairly certain that she was flirting with me multiple times. I asked my friend Axel for advice and he told me to just go for it and ask her out to a movie. I did, and she shot me down. Said she just wanted to stay friends.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Lyra replied.
“That’s not the bad part,” Morgan continued. “Because two days later another one of my friends showed up at the lunch table and said the he had slept with her.”
Lyra gasped.
“He didn’t know I liked her. Only me and Axel knew. He must have apologized dozens of times after he found out. Still, it really bummed me out that she wanted to go for him and not me. And THAT is why I don’t bother trying to ask out girls anymore.”
Lyra looked at the floor sheepishly and pouted. “Sorry for bringing it up.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Morgan replied before chuckling. “You DID ask me to tell you everything.”
There was another pause. It broke when Morgan suddenly smiled and laughed, relieving the tension that was building in the room. Lyra relaxed and joined in on the laughter.
“So basically, humans got a lot of drama going on for them,” Morgan said once the two of them were done laughing. “I don’t know how much drama you ponies go through, but it’s pretty common for humans. What I told you is nothing compared to some of the stuff other people see.”
“Sounds like life as a human is fascinating,” Lyra replied.
“That’s one word for it.”
Suddenly, dead air drifted between them. Finally, Lyra sighed dreamily.
“... I really wish I could see your world,” she said. “It all sounds just so cool!”
“Well, at least you finally got to confirm that humans are real and find out how life is for them,” Morgan replied.
“And it’s all thanks to you!” Lyra threw her hooves around Morgan and squeezed him tight. “Thank you so much for the interview!”
“Don’t… mention it,” Morgan wheezed out as Lyra continued suffocating him. “Could ya… let me go?”
“Oh, of course.” Lyra broke her hug, making Morgan take a big breath. She giggled and reached down to stop her tape recorder, but she gasped and stopped herself before she pressed the button.
“Actually, there was one more thing I was meaning to ask you,” Lyra said as Morgan finally began breathing normally again. “Just how exactly did you get here from your world?”
Morgan paused.
“I, uh, have only told Twilight and the others about that,” Morgan replied. “I don’t know if I should tell you. You might not like the answer.”
“Pretty please?” Lyra asked while making puppy dog eyes at him.
“You really wanna know?”
Lyra nodded with a huge grin on her face.
Morgan sighed. “Alright, here it goes.”
Slowly, Morgan explained to Lyra what he had explained to Twilight and the others days earlier, how Equestria was a part of a cartoon created by humans from Morgan’s world, and that Pinkie Pie’s reality shattering powers brought him to Ponyville. Lyra listened to the entire story with a dropped jaw and wide eyes.
“So, to sum it up, this place is a world created by my world. I’m here because of Pinkie.”
“That… is… AWESOME!”
Lyra, to Morgan’s surprise, responded to the news of her existence as a cartoon with absolute joy and excitement. “That’s why I’m so interested in humans!” She jumped around the room gleefully. “Because I was made by them!”
“That makes sense, I guess,” Morgan said as he watched Lyra hop right back into her chair.
“Oh my gosh, you know what I should do?” Lyra asked as she grinned in Morgan’s face. “I should write a book about all of this! The story about humans needs to live on for generations!”
“Or until the show gets canceled,” Morgan mumbled to himself.
Suddenly, the door swung open and Bon-Bon strolled in with a full saddlebag on her back. She looked over at the two ponies in the living room and shyly gave them a deer-in-the-headlights stare.
“He’s still here?” Bon-Bon asked. “I can leave if you want me to.”
“Nah, I think I’ve got more than enough for the interview,” Lyra said. “I’m sure Morgan is ready to go home.”
“Right, well, I’ll be in the kitchen.” Bon-Bon trotted off, giving Morgan and Lyra their cue to make their way to the door. Lyra gave him a huge grin as they walked.
“Thanks so much for coming over,” Lyra said. “You have no idea what this interview means to me.”
“Don’t mention it,” Morgan replied with a wave of the hoof. “I actually had some fun telling you about everything. Hey, you and Bon-Bon wanna go get a bite to eat tomorrow? I was going to go with Spike, but he’s got a date with Rarity.”
“Aren’t you worried that everypony is going to keep thinking that we’re going out?” Lyra asked.
“Eh, I don’t really care anymore. I’m not going to convince them that we aren’t, so there’s no point in worrying about it.”
“Then we’ll take you up on that offer,” Lyra replied with a smile. “See you then!”
Morgan waved goodbye and went out the door. Once he was gone, Bon-Bon emerged from the kitchen and stood behind Lyra.
“You didn’t harass that poor pony too much while I was away, did you?” Bon-Bon asked.
“Nah, we just had the best interview ever!”
Lyra squealed with joy and pranced over to her tape recorder. As she continued merrily bouncing around the room, Bon-Bon rolled her eyes and went back to the kitchen, knowing well that Lyra was going to continue like this for hours to come.
"And then she actually said that she'd go on a date with him!"
Lyra gasped for what must have been the fourth time in my story. The mare seemed to be absolutely fascinated with everything I had to say. The other patrons of the restaurant we were eating at, the same place that Lyra had apparently stalked me to a few days ago, shot Lyra a confused look for the umpteenth time due to her reactions. Bon Bon simply giggled.
"So in a way, I guess your advice really did help Spike," Bon Bon said before taking another bite from her daisy sandwich.
"Well, I wouldn't say that," I replied. "The stuff I had him try didn't get her to like him even a little bit."
"Of course it didn't work," Lyra said. "Ignoring her? Having him be a jerk to her? What kind of pony would want to hook up with a guy doing that?"
"You'd be surprised," Bon Bon replied with a chuckle. "I knew some mares back in school that were huge suckers for the bad boys."
"Were you one of them?" I asked, giving her a grin.
She blushed. "Maaaybe. But I was young and stupid back then. That stuff definitely wouldn't work on me now."
"Suuure it wouldn't," Lyra replied, nudging her with a cheeky grin. "Don't act like you don't go crazy for every good looking jerk that passes through Ponyville."
The earth pony shot her friend a glare, making Lyra giggle. I took a bite of hay fries while Bon Bon cleared her throat.
"I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about."
Lyra rolled her eyes. "The point is, you'd never see tricks like that working on somepony like me. It takes a lot for some stallion to get my attention."
"That's because you're too high maintenance," Bon Bon yelled, making it her turn to earn some confused looks for the first time since we arrived. "These days if somepony doesn't share the same fascination with humans that you have, you turn them away without a second thought!"
"It's not my fault that nopony sees how interesting humans are. Isn't that right, Morgan?"
It took me a second to actually realize that Lyra had turned her attention to me. I was busy enjoying their banter. It reminded me of being at the lunch table and listening to my friends argue about stupid shit like their tastes in video games.
"I don't know, Lyra, listening to the two of you go back and forth just helps convince me that you ponies and us are pretty dang similar. Minus the whole flying and magic thing."
"Thank you," Bon Bon replied, giving her friend a smug smile. "Even Morgan agrees that your human obsession is silly."
"Now I didn't necessarily say that," I continued. "The differences are there. Plus, there's plenty of people back home who are even more obsessed with you guys. They make Lyra's interest in humans look like a mere casual hobby."
"Ha." Lyra laughed obnoxiously in Bon Bon's face. "Ya hear that? I'm not the only one!"
"Well, maybe some of those human boys would be up to your standards," Bon Bon commented, taking a sip from her drink. "Maybe you should just go to Morgan's world with him and date one of them."
Man, that would probably fulfill some nerd's self insert fan fiction fantasy back home. It's probably for the best that Lyra never gets to see the human world for herself. She wouldn't last ten minutes.
"I don't think it's possible for anypony else to go back besides me and Pinkie Pie," I replied, unsure if the answer was even true or not. "But hey, if Twilight can figure out a way then maybe Pinkie could take you with her sometime in the future."
"Speaking of which, when does Twilight get back from her research in Canterlot?" Lyra asked, wiping away some crumbs from her mouth. "Haven't seen her around town in a while."
"Spike got a letter last night from her saying that she was coming home today. Said she apparently had some big news for me."
"Sounds like she might have found the way to get you home," Bon Bon said with a warm smile. I gotta say, she took the information Lyra spilled about the interview, the whole human world creating them thing included, oddly well. Of course, it was possible she was simply humoring us, but details.
Lyra, meanwhile, pouted and looked down at her plate as if someone had just told her about her puppy dying. I guess she wasn't eager to say goodbye to the first human she ever met so quickly.
"Well, who knows? Maybe the big news that she has for me is that I'm screwed and gotta stay here forever. Maybe her and the princess need to go somewhere else in Equestria to do more human research. Might still be a while before I go home."
I tried giving Lyra a smile, but she was still mopping, staring at her hay fries like they'd somehow give her a way to have more time to learn about humans from me.
"You two want to come to the library with me to see what Twilight has to say?" I offered.
Lyra's ears perked up and she grinned suddenly. "Yeah, that sounds fun. You in, Bon Bon?"
Her cream colored friend politely shook her head. "Sorry, can't. Pinkie Pie asked me to make some candies for an upcoming party of hers. I'll have my hooves tied at home."
Lyra shrugged, jumping from her seat. "Suit yourself. You ready to go, Morgan?"
Well I wanted to eat dessert before we left, but Lyra was already up and raring to go. Would be kind of awkward to tell her to sit back down so I can finish stuffing my face. "Yeah, I'm ready."
"Don't drive him too crazy, now," Bon Bon commented playfully while leaving the payment for the food on the table. "You've already put him through enough."
I laughed and waved goodbye while Lyra shooed her friend away. The food paid for, I started making my way back to the library with her close behind. "Ya know, for two mares that are just friends, you guys sure do banter like a a couple sometimes."
Looking back, I could see Lyra's face flushing red before she turned away with a scoff. "Don't be ridiculous. Friends can banter too, ya know."
Well, can't argue with that. I'll banter with my friends six ways to Sunday, but I can't recall ever wanting to smash one of them.
"Eh, I'm just messing with ya." Which was mostly true, but I still think they'd make a good couple. "Knowing you, you'd probably try to pull out some sort of human roleplay in the bedroom and I don't think she'd be into that."
That got Lyra laughing, which is good since I don't want this whole me going home deal bumming her out too much. Looking around, I noticed a few locals I'd gotten to know giving me sly looks. Right, had let that whole thing about ponies thinking we were dating slip my mind. Not like it mattered anymore, anyways.
"I'm not gonna lie, Morgan, I'm definitely hoping the news is that you're still stuck here for a bit longer." She wiped away a tear from the laughter and let out a big ol' sigh. "I know that's selfish, but we really got off on the wrong hoof. Talking to you is so fun. I really wish I would have cut out the whole spying thing so I could have had more time to just hang out."
Well shit, now the pony is trying to make ME emotional about all of this. I try laughing it off. "Yeah, I guess you still have plenty more questions about humans and stuff, eh?"
"I mean, yeah, you can never run out of human questions and it's not like the opportunity comes around every day to ask one. But you're a pretty alright guy, yourself. It always stinks having to say goodbye to a friend, especially when you've known them for such a short amount of time."
Friend? We've only really been on truly friendly speaking terms for just a few days now, but she'd still already call me her friend? Well... I guess friendship IS kind of in the title of the show. And yeah, even is she was kind of a loon, Lyra turned out to be pretty cool to talk with as well. Definitely someone I could see myself being friends with back home. And there was Spike, the ponies at the arcade... huh, I guess I did make friends here. Damn cartoon living up to its name.
"I GUESS it wouldn't totally suck if I had to stay a bit longer," I replied, dripping the sentence in as much sarcasm as I could muster. Lyra gave me a side eye, smirking. "Ok, I wouldn't totally despise it. But only if it was for a BIT longer. My friends and family are probably still worried about me."
I'd honestly lost track of the time since arriving here. I can't even remember how long I've been gone now. Putting it bluntly, everyone probably thinks I'm dead. How the hell am I supposed to explain what happened to me while I was gone? They'll throw me in the loony bin if I tell the truth. I guess I could just lie, say I was feeling angsty and tried to run away. Maybe they wouldn't even care why, as long as I'm back.
"Well, regardless of if you have to leave now or later, I just wanted to say thanks for making my first interaction with a human a good one," Lyra said, breaking my train of thought after a bit of silence. "So... yeah, thanks!"
She flashed a big smile that I couldn't help but smile back at. Thing was infectious. "Yeah, yeah, you're welcome. You definitely helped make sure my stay here wasn't boring."
And with all that mushy talking stuff conveniently wrapped up, we finally made it to the library. Just approaching the door, I could hear multiple muffled voices on the inside. Looks like the gang was all here. No need to knock, I strolled on in.
As expected, the usual suspects were all accounted for. All six of the ponies and Spike gathered around a table where Twilight seemed to have sat some scrolls and books down. They looked up at the sound of the door opening, Pinkie grinning and waving.
"Well it's about time ya showed up," Applejack said. "Where in tarnation were ya?"
"Me, him, and Bon Bon were having lunch!" Lyra went ahead and invited herself inside after answering, sauntering on in behind me. "Sorry if we lost track of the time."
The others, minus Pinkie, had varying looks of surprise to see a guest with me. Twilight looked to the side at Spike, who shrugged. Pinkie, being Pinkie, just continued to wave at her. "Hey, Lyra!"
Lyra waved back. I could tell Twilight was still a bit taken back that I brought somepony along with me, but in my defense all Twilight gave as a heads up to her return was a letter sent to Spike the night before. We could both pull off short notice. "So what's new? You find out anything good on your trip?"
"Um." Twilight looked from me to Lyra. "Well, yes, but it's probably best we discuss it in private. No offense, Lyra, it's always good to see you, but we have matters to discuss with Morgan that I'd imagine he wants to keep secret."
"Actually I've already told her everything," I reply, waving my hoof hand dismissively. "So it's all good."
Cue the awkward silence. Everyone just kinda stares at us in a mix of shock and bewilderment.
"You did WHAT?" Applejack was the one to break the silence, banging her hoof on the table for added emphasis. "Now just why in the name of Celestia would you go an do something like that?"
"I have to agree," Rarity added. "That's certainly a lot of information for one pony to process. It can't be wise to just tell ponies willy nilly, darling."
True, learning that you're just a cartoon is probably enough to give some ponies an existential crisis. But thankfully Lyra turned out to be one of the ones that actually enjoyed hearing that.
"Eh, what can I say, she forced the information out of me." I shrug. "She's pretty persuasive."
"So what were you about to say?" Lyra asked, walking on up to the table with a grin. I also join the rest at the table, taking a glance at the scrolls Twilight had laid out. They all seemed to be written in indiscernible horse gibberish that I couldn't read, so Twilight was gonna have to explain. I nodded for her to continue as Lyra asked.
"O... k. Well, if you're comfortable with her being here I suppose there's no reason for me to object." She pulled one of the scrolls closer to her, the others leaning closer to read. I still couldn't understand shit on it, but I did notice a few pictures of ponies in old wizard looking cloaks on it. "Initially I wasn't able to find much of use at the Canterlot library. Any mentions of humans or alternate dimensions were usually treated as fiction and nothing more."
She levitated another scroll closer to her, basking it with her purple aura of magic before continuing. "I wasn't really sure how to approach the Royal Sisters about this, but when I couldn't find anything conclusive it seemed like the only option. So I did my best to explain everything about your situation and your connection to our world."
"How'd they take it?" I asked, genuinely curious. Just how do what I can only assume the pony equivalent of Gods are, react to being told they're a creation of humans from another world entirely? Would they even believe her?
"Honestly? Pretty well, actually." Twilight focused on one of the scrolls, featuring some wizard looking pony with a sweet beard. "Star Swirl had always theorized on the origins of how we came to be, so they were actually quite fascinated to hear about your story."
Fascinated? Sounds to me like this was news to them as well, so how would they be able to help? I also had no idea who this Star Swirl dude was, but that detail didn't seem to be important. "Well that's nice, but where did you go from there?"
Looking over another one of the scrolls, I could notice a drawing of a pony facing some sort of big oval. A portal of some kind? It was all swirly looking on the inside, so that's where my mind went to. "The human detail sort of stumped them, so they thought the best chance I'd have to find answers would be in..." She suddenly stopped herself, looking around at everypony with a huge grin and a twinkle in her eye. "Are you ready for this? The Canterlot Library's... RESTRICTED SECTION!"
She squeed an ear piercing squee that messed with my ear drums something fierce. She hopped up and down in place, for some reason overcome with excitement over these restricted books. "I never knew it even HAD a restricted section! Can you believe it?"
Twilight had turned to the nearest pony to her, Rainbow Dash, sticking her huge grin in the Pegasus' face. Dash chuckled awkwardly, scooting the unicorn back. "No offense, Twilight, but I don't think Morgan really cares about that part."
Yup, hit the nail on the head there. I've never been a big reading guy. Was kind of ready for Twilight to just get to the point. But hey, didn't wanna be rude, so when she looked over at me to confirm, I just kind of shrugged instead of voicing any of that.
Twilight cleared her throat, adjusting some of the scrolls and turning her attention to the one with the portal looking thing. "Right, of course. Anyway, it was in the restricted section that I found some interesting writings that might actually help us. The first of which was this scroll which contains a sort of old journal entry. In it they describe a gateway to an other world populated by creatures fitting the description of humans." She looked over the writing. "It's old and much of the journal seems to be missing so there isn't a whole lot of details to go off of, but it claims the gateway is somewhere here in Equestria."
"Huh. Interesting." Equestria was a pretty damn big place from what I understood, so that indeed wasn't much to go off of. "So we would have to find this gateway, wherever it is, and then I could use it to go home?"
"That's what I was thinking," Twilight replied before scooting over a dusty old book and moving the scrolls away. "But then I found this ancient text that actually goes in depth on alternate dimension theorizing. It has two main categories for potential alternate worlds. Those that are directly connected to us, and those that aren't. And from what I could infer from that scroll, it would be the former, whereas your world would be the latter."
Geez, this was starting to get complicated. Thankfully, I don't think I was the only one feeling as much, since the rest of the girls and Spike all seemed to be equally perplexed trying to keep up with what she was saying. "So... lemme see if I got this right. Whatever this gateway to a human world you found out about is, it's something that's already directly connected to you guys. Not like what Pinkie pulled me through. So even if we were to find it, going through it would just be like some sorta... spinoff of where I am already. I'd just go deeper down the rabbit hole."
Twilight nodded. "That's the gist of it, yes."
"Basically... it's useless to us then?" No use in beating around the bush, if that's where this was heading.
"I'm afraid so," Twilight confirmed, taking her hoof and skimming over the pages of the book. "But that was just the case for that particular portal. After all, the book theorized about alternate universes not directly connected to us. So I studied further and found something interesting."
And now we're talking. "What was it?" I took a look at the book out of curiosity, even if I could read shit. Who knows, maybe she was about to point out some pictures that I'd actually be able to understand.
Flipping through a few pages, the purple unicorn came to a stop on one page which had a touch of... was that glitter? The hell?
"I came to this portion of the text where the author conducts an interview with a pegasus. She had a white coat, a yellow mane, and most interestingly they described her as a fun loving bundle of energy... with a love for parties." She looked up from the book. "Remind you of anypony?"
"Well with that appearance description it kinda reminds me of one of the Wonderbolts," Rainbow Dash pointed out. Now to me personally, it sounded like she was describing Pinkie but as a pegasus, but these girls know more about different ponies than I do.
Apparently it wasn't the answer Twilight was looking for, since she gave Dash a stern look. "This book was written hundreds of years ago, don't be ridiculous. But that's beside the point. The author goes on to interview this pegasus, where she describes to them her ability to see into another world with mammal-like creatures beyond an otherwise unseen wall. Again, remind you of anypony?"
"Oh! Oh! Pick me, pick me!" Pinkie hopped up and down, waggling her arm in the air as if Twilight was a teacher and she wanted to get called on to answer a question for the class. Then again, Twilight probably wouldn't be a half bad teacher, but I digress.
"So the author met somepony like Pinkie back in the day?" I said, deciding to point out the obvious to keep things on track. After all, if this was leading to a way to get me home, we needed to get this show on the road. "Did she ever bite the bullet and pull a human into this world too?"
Twilight glanced over the text, shaking her head. "They asked her if she could demonstrate, but she replied by saying the creatures could only be interacted with if they were directly watching. The author didn't know what she meant by this, but it sounds to me like how it is when your kind watch us on the show you described."
A fair guess, considering how I was watching the show when Pinkie swooced right into my friend's room.
"However." Twilight grinned, holding the book up for the others to be able to read. No pictures were provided, so I guess I'd just have to make do with listening. "She claimed that she HAD brought one of the humans into our world once before."
"Now that sounds promising," Lyra commented, taking the words out of my mouth. "Then what?"
"According to this pegasus, she pulled the human through some sort of portal into Equestria. When it came time to take them back to their world, she was able to find the portal in the same place she had brought them through originally." Closing the book, Twilight gave me an optimistic nod. "So while it isn't the most solid lead, my hypothesis is that we'll find the way to get you home wherever Pinkie originally brought you through to Equestria."
Well hot damn. Just when things were starting to look hopeless, finally a breakthrough. I could almost kiss Twilight for the information. Emphasis on the almost, do I look like some kind of sick furry to you? "I don't know what to say, Twilight, other than thanks. This really might be just the ticket to getting me home."
"Remind me, darling, where was it again that Pinkie Pie originally brought you from?" Rarity asked curiously. I had to pause for a second and think on that one, it had been so long since the original incident that I had nearly forgotten which episode was on specifically. But after a quick glance over at Pinkie, it hit me.
"It was that one place with the buffalo and cowboy ponies," I recalled, thinking over the details of that episode. "Pinkie had just sang that song that everybody hated. Something about sharing? Yeah, something like that."
"Appleoosa?" Applejack answered, confused. "But Big Mac talked to Braeburn just the other day after a delivery, and he didn't mention nothing about no portal floating around town."
"Maybe it only appears when Morgan is nearby?" Fluttershy suggested.
"That's... actually a plausible explanation," Twilight responded, tapping her hoof against her chin, looking to be in thought. "Morgan being here to begin with is a sort of anomaly, but he's been staying in Ponyville for sometime now with no issues. Perhaps whatever portal it is that can take him home only shows itself when the anomaly is nearby."
While I could do without being referred to as 'the anomaly' as if I'm some sort of science experiment, it was as good an explanation as any for me. "So basically, if we go to this Appleoosa joint, the portal I was brought through should open up and I can finally go back home?"
Twilight nodded. "In theory, anyway. This isn't a guarantee since we're just going off of a potential lead from a very old text, but it's definitely worth a try."
"Good enough for me! So when are we leaving?" I looked around at the others expectantly. Honestly, I was ready to go here and now. Even if I had only been in Equestria for a few weeks, it felt closer to something like six years. Needless to say, I'd overstayed my welcome.
"If we finish any needed preparations tonight we should be able to leave tomorrow," the unicorn answered looking around at the others. "The trip isn't too long, but we don't know what all could happen if getting Morgan there does trigger a portal, so it's best to be ready for anything."
"I'll get in contact with Braeburn tonight and let him know we're coming," Applejack added. "It'll probably be for the best that they get everypony out of the city for a bit, just in case something goes weird with that portal."
"And I'll be sure we have enough snacks for the trip!" Just as soon as she finished saying that, Pinkie was already dashing out of the door. Hopefully Twilight didn't have anything else major to add, I wouldn't want to be the poor sap that would have to catch up to her and fill her in.
To her credit, the bookworm seemed only slightly annoyed at her bailing so suddenly. "The rest of you just be sure to pack anything you think we might need. It can't hurt to be too prepared."
"You can count on us!" Rainbow Dash gave a little salute before flying out of the library just as quick as Pinkie had left, if not faster. Rarity, Fluttershy, and Applejack were much less intense with their exits. With them gone, Twilight turned her attention to Spike.
"We should send a letter to Celestia and Luna to let them know what we're doing. In case something pops up that needs our attention, they'll know where to find us."
Trotting off to where I can only assume was somewhere that had the needed materials to write a letter, now I was left alone in the middle of the library. Well, aside from the last pony that had yet to leave.
"So... I guess that's it, then?" Lyra asked. "You'll be leaving for good tomorrow."
"Seems like it," I answered. "Hopefully this lead turns out to be the real deal."
Lyra didn't really seem to know how to respond to that. There was a bit of an awkward silence, which was great because then I didn't know what to say either. Dang pony trying to make me feel guilty about leaving.
"Well, I'm happy for you," she finally said, offering a smile. "Like I said earlier, I do wish we would have had more time to talk and hang out. But you have friends and family waiting for you back home. I'm sure they'll be pretty excited to have you back."
Must resist urge to tear up. I can get emotional about seeing my loved ones again when I know for sure that this lead will even bring results. "Yeah, guess I gotta start working on some sort of explanation to explain why I've been gone, eh? Somehow I don't think they'd believe the real deal."
Lyra chuckled at my comment, and then we're back to the awkward silence. I've never been one good with handling sudden goodbyes, and I can only assume she was the same way. After a few moments, an idea finally crossed my mind. Something I remembered from my friends when it came to the show. Cringey it may have been, but it wasn't like anyone was looking. Ah, fuck it. May as well.
I held up my right hoof, offering what the guys back home referred to as a brohoof. "Well, you take care."
Actually in retrospect, I didn't know if the whole brohoof thing was just made up by the people who watched the show, or if it was actually something these ponies did. Was I just making myself look like a weirdo?
"Thanks. You take care, too." Lyra bumped my hoof with hers, averting any further awkwardness I feared from the gesture being unknown among the ponies themselves. Since that seemed to be as good a note as any to leave off of, Lyra gave a little wave and finally made her way out of the library as well.
I wasn't really sure what to do now. Did I need to prepare? How would I even go about doing so? Would I be appearing back in Axel's room or could I end up appearing anywhere like what happened for me here? Should I bring anything? I didn't exactly get pulled in by Pinkie with anything else other than the clothes on my back. Which were gone when I woke up here. Did they just pop out of existence? Would I be naked when going back to the human world? Shit, that would be pretty awkward if anyone else is around when I come back.
"I wonder what they're up to right now anyway?"
"You... wanna meet up with some of the guys and go eat some wings or something?"
I can't even bother finding the energy to say anything to Brycen. Hanging out and goofing off was the last thing on my mind. Ever since Morgan disappeared, all I've cared about is finding him. Hell, I fully accept the very real possibility that he may be dead by now, but I just need closure. I was the one that left him at my place alone, it didn't matter what the others told me. Whatever happened to him was my fault.
"Dude, it's been weeks, you can't keep being like this," he continued. "Morgan wouldn't want you too, either."
It's been an endless cycle of these assurances for a while now, but all I can do is put on my signal light and continue driving. There's a town about 45 minutes out west that I haven't hit up yet with missing posters, so it had to be worth a shot.
"Axel, at least say something."
"What do you want me to say? I'll stop worrying about everything when I finally get some answers. What's so wrong with that?" Seriously, why can't people just leave me be on this? I'm well aware that I've been depressing lately, but can they blame me?
"And what if we don't get any closure?" He asks. I shoot him a glare, but have to put my eyes back on the road right after. "Seriously, I'm just being realistic here, you can't let this consume you forever. For all we know he's hitchhiked his way to Canada to start a new life by now."
I mean... he's not wrong, that could be what happened. Maybe not Canada specifically, but he could have just ran away. But why would he ditch everyone without saying goodbye, or leaving some sort of note? Maybe he didn't want to be followed? That would be kind of a dick move, but he is kind of an asshole I guess.
"Look, at the very least you need to take a breather, or you're going to go crazy," Brycen continued. "How about tomorrow we just chill? Kick back, watch some TV, recharge the batteries?"
"... Fine. You're right." I sigh. As much as I'd like to magically find out where Morgan is, the longer we go, the less likely it is that I will. The searches have been draining. One day to relax wouldn't hurt. It's not like Morgan is going to suddenly come home tomorrow.
"Welp, time to go home." I trotted into the library, feeling as ready as I'd ever be. I had spent the morning saying my goodbyes. Everyone at the arcade, Derpy, even the mayor. I gave them all the same story of needing to go back to Las Pegasus due to a family emergency. Stratus seemed pretty bummed to see me go, but I pointed out that he'd at least have an easier time maintaining high scores at the games with me gone. Not gonna lie, I was gonna miss the dude myself, probably would have fit right in with my friend group if he was a human.
I considered going by to say goodbye to Bon Bon, but I decided against it since it would be a bit awkward had Lyra also been there following our goodbye from yesterday. So with that all out of the way, it was time to finally get my ass back to Earth. "Are we all set?"
The gang had already assembled in the time it took me to tell everyone bye. Five of the ponies had saddlebags draped over their backs for the trip ahead, while Rarity seemed to have Spike carrying her luggage. Twilight nodded, already making her way to the door with the others following. "Indeed. We should get going, Morgan, the first train should be departing soon."
She exited the library, the others filing out behind her. I took one last look around the tree home before I brought up the rear. For a library, it wasn't a half bad guest house while I was stuck here. A solid 3.5 star accommodation. Would have been a 4 if the breakfast was better.
Once I finally finished taking it all in one last time, I exited the library to see Pinkie... twitching? At the back of the line, unseen by the others, her tail had shot up and she seemed to vibrate in place. It only lasted for a moment, and she looked off into the sky once it was over.
"Uh... you alright, Pinkie?"
Blinking, she flashed me a smile and nodded as if nothing weird just happened. "Yup! Let's get you home!"
Humming a little tune, she just hops on along towards the others, apparently uninterested in telling me what just happened. Freakin weirdo. But I guess being weird is her whole shtick, so at this point I should stop questioning it.
We arrived at the train station just a few minutes later. It was on the edge of town, but thankfully on the edge closest to Twilight's library. Convenient. Since I was broke as shit the others covered my ticket, and we had just taken our seats in a car near the back of the train when the whistle signaling a last call bellowed. By the way, the train was the most disgustingly tacky thing I had seen here yet. Pink, covered in hearts, and cars that look like they belong on a gingerbread house? Guess they had to up the sickeningly cutesy factor with something one more time before I left.
"Man, this train is a darn eyesore."
.... Wait a minute. Darn? That's not what I said. I said damn eyesore. Why did it sound like I said darn instead?
"Everything alright, Morgan?" Spike asked, seemingly noticing the weird expression I had taken on. "Did you forget something back at Twilight's?"
Blinking, I shook my head and brushed off the odd moment. "Nah, I was just thinking about something. Don't worry about-"
Before I could even finish my sentence, I end up absentmindedly hitting one of my front legs into a train seat. Guess that's what I get for not watching where I was going.
"Ah shoot, that hurt."
Shoot? Ok, I know for sure this time that shoot wasn't what I meant to say.
"Crud. Heck. Darn it. Son of a biscuit eater... fudge." Why in the goddamn name of fuck can't I cuss? I've cussed plenty of times since coming here. Sure, the ponies usually don't know what the words mean, but it didn't stop me from saying them. Why am I now all of a sudden being censored?
"Uh... huh." Spike shook his head, walking over to his seat. "You're acting weird."
"He's probably just overcome with excitement about going home!" Pinkie grinned at me, something that wasn't uncommon for someone as bubbly and friendly as her. But there was something a bit different about that grin. Something... knowing? Maybe I'm overthinking it.
The train made a hiss as the engine came to life, and steam from the front of the locomotive flew by the windows. They weren't kidding when they said this thing was leaving soon. I have no idea why I can't cuss all of a sudden, but it doesn't matter. The important thing is we're on our way to getting me home. Once I'm back I can say whatever I want. Hopefully, at least. Are there lasting side effects for staying in a kid's cartoon for prolonged periods of time?
And it was then that something else suddenly hit me out of the blue. "Man, I gotta use the little pony's room." Ok, apparently even saying 'I gotta take a whizz' if off limits currently. Fuckin weird. "Anypony know where it is?"
"Two cars down on the left," Applejack answered, pointing a hoof at the door leading to the car ahead of our's. "Can't miss it."
After thanking her for the directions, I decided to keep trying to get over this weird self imposed censor going on. "Fudgity fudge. Crumpet. Gosh darn it. Poopity scoop. Dingaling." Nope, no dice.
Ignoring any weird looks I got from the other train denizens as I tried my damnedest to cuss, I eventually came past a door to my left marked with one of those black bathroom men signs. Except, you know, it was a pony instead of a person. My attempts to add color to my vocabulary once again could continue after the call of nature passed. I reached out for the door handle... only for the door to open and smash into my face.
"Ow! Mama mia!" The fuck am I, Mario? How do you go from motherfucker to that? "Watch where you're swinging the door, wiseguy."
The pony that had emerged from the bathroom and rammed the door into my face was an odd looking fellow, even by pony standards. Unlike the girls who seemed to enjoy going commando, he wore a straw hat, nifty black bow tie, and a blue and white stripped shirt. Why some ponies choose to wear clothes and the others go naked, I'll never know. His mane and tail reminded me of bacon, but maybe that was just because I miss eating meat.
"Quite sorry, friend, didn't see there." He spoke in a tone that reminded me of an auctioneer, and there was something oddly familiar about his voice, though I couldn't quite place it. He offered a hoof to help me up since the blow had knocked me on to my flank, but I could stand up on my own. "That was my mistake."
"Don't worry about it, it's fine." While I still didn't exactly enjoy being beaned in the face, the guy seemed to be genuinely sorry and it would be a dumb thing to cause a scene over. Plus I had been lost in thought over the whole cursing thing, I could have knocked first.
With a tip of his hat, the vaudeville looking pony look his leave, leaving the porcelain throne ripe for the taking. Making sure to lock the door behind me, I took a look in the bathroom mirror to make sure I hadn't been given a black eye or something due to the incident. Everything seemed to be fine, so that was nice. What wasn't nice was having to use a bathroom as a pony. It was an odd ordeal that I had to learn of a while ago. Seeing as how everypony seemed to be walking around with no genitals to speak of, this was a kid's show after all, I originally thought they just didn't need to use the bathroom. But of course I was wrong. Funny story about how I had to be taught how to use the bathroom as a pony, ya see-
My eyes were glued to the screen. Shock? Bewilderment? Disbelief? Try all of the above. I don't think my mouth had closed for a while now, it felt like my jaw was on the floor. Brycen, meanwhile, was frantically speaking into his phone.
"Just turn on The Hub, I need you to see this," he yelled to one of our friends, Robert. "I know there's no new episode today, just trust me!"
This couldn't be real. It shouldn't be. I thought it had to be some sort of weird fever dream upon first glance, but a test punch exchanged with Brycen confirmed that we were very much awake. There, clear as day on the TV, was Morgan. At least, a pony that had his voice.
I had been avoiding watching anything related to MLP ever since he went missing, I could only associate it with the incident of leaving him alone in my house to watch it. There was no way I could watch it and not feel more guilty about my hand in Morgan going missing. But as Brycen had been scrolling past the channels, just as he prepared to go to the next one after landing on The Hub, we heard Twilight say a name that floored us both. I thought we must have been hearing things, but as we continued to watch it couldn't have been wrong. She said Morgan's name.
"What do you mean it's just a rerun of Over a Barrel?" He looked up at the TV, disbelief in his eyes. "I-... really?" I couldn't quite hear what Robert was saying over the phone, but he sounded confused. Couldn't be any more confused than us, though. "Uh, nevermind then, it's nothing. Yeah, don't worry about it."
He dropped the phone on the beanbag, shaking his head. "Should I call some of the others and check if they're seeing this?"
I shook my head. If he wasn't seeing it, I doubt anyone else would either. Honestly, I still hadn't been convinced that I wasn't just simply hallucinating. Even if Brycen could see it too. "Don't bother."
The scene had settled on the Mane Six while Morgan had left to go use the bathroom. They were in a train, and before entering the bathroom Morgan had a run in with Flim, of all ponies.
"It shouldn't take too long to get Morgan to Appleloosa, so we should go ahead and map out a plan," Twilight told the others.
"What plan do we need?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Once we get him there we just take him to the portal or whatever and send him through."
"He came through during my song, so we just need to find that stage and that should do it," Pinkie added, smiling.
"What I mean is that we should prepare for anything that may go wrong," Twilight answered. "We don't know what this portal will be like, assuming it even shows up to begin with. We don't need the rest of us going through it with him."
Brycen and I just watched, not daring to look away. How the hell this was happening I couldn't begin to imagine. That pony they were talking about had Morgan's voice and they called him by his name. They were talking about sending him through a portal? He came through it when Pinkie had been singing? I could kind of get an idea of what was being implied, but it was all too ludicrous to accept.
"I just had a run in with that strange pony they're traveling with, brother of mine." The scene had suddenly switched to a different train car. Flim was speaking now, showing a mischievous expression as he addressed his mustachioed and otherwise identical brother. "He's an odd fellow, that much is certain."
Flam smirked, looking off behind his sibling as the Morgan pony exited the bathroom, returning to the car with the Mane Six. "Quite the coincidence seeing them on the same train. I do wonder where they're heading."
"And why they have that stallion with them." Flim added, rubbing his chin contemplatively. He chuckled, giving his brother a smile. "Considering the damage they did for our business, shall we follow them and see if we can return the favor?"
"You read my mind, brother of mine," Flam answered, returning the grin with a sinister smirk of their own. The two looked on ominously until...
"We'll be right back with My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, right here on The Hub!"
Suddenly, there was no more show. The episode had cut to commercial, now replaced with some sort of advertisement for some slimy Play-Doh looking stuff. Whatever it was didn't matter. The suddenness of the commercial break caught us off guard, and we sat in silence as the annoying jingle played on the TV.
"Dude... what's even happening right now?" Brycen asked.
How does one even answer that? "I don't know. Truly I don't. It seems like Morgan is somehow stuck in the cartoon and they're trying to get him home, but that's ridiculous, isn't it?"
More silence. The weird goo commercial had been replaced by a commercial for some toy dog that you feed and make it shit. As crazy as it sounded, it looked like we had somehow found out what happened to Morgan. I mean, it only raises a shit ton of other questions and makes no earthly sense whatsoever, but damn it this was progress. I couldn't move from my seat. I had to see what would happen next. Thus, I was surprised when Brycen stood up and began to leave the room.
"Where are you going?"
"Kitchen," he answered. "I have no idea what the hell is happening, but we may as well have some snacks. I have a feeling this is going to be a wild ride."
Author's Note
Has this Author's Note feature always been here? Pretty sure it wasn't the last time I updated the story. Granted that was like four years ago. Either way, it's nifty.
On that note, hello again to anyone reading this. If any of you that started reading this years ago are still around, I'm genuinely sorry about the wait. I could go into my excuses if I wanted, but at the end of the day the only reason this is coming out now instead of years ago is one thing. Laziness. But I'm still here, and I intend to finish what I started, even if any readers I had are long gone by now.
I'll be throwing up a blog post to go more into detail about everything soon, but I'll leave on this. This was the penultimate chapter. Originally I intended for there to be at least two more chapters, but I've decided to combine everything remaining that I had planned and put it all into one final chapter. When will the final chapter be out? My goal is the end of the month, but given my track record I won't make promises. I'll just hope for the best. For now, I hope the chapter was enjoyable. See you guys next time for the finale.
Chapter 9: End of the Line
There's something stressful about being on a train ride taking you to a portal leading to another world. Maybe it was the excitement about finally being able to go back home after being worried that I may never get to. Perhaps it was the awkwardness of having to think of an excuse to explain why I'd been gone. It could be the worry about something going wrong with the portal, maybe taking me to another cartoon entirely rather than the real world. But perhaps most of all, it could be the dread from the fact that the lead we were following could be a dead end, meaning there might not even be a portal in this Appleloosa to begin with. All of the above? Yeah, I'm thinking all of the above.
Thankfully I at least had company to help make the ride go by faster. Seeing as this could be the last chance for me to speak with the group, now it was their turn to ask me more questions of back home. Applejack and I compared farm life between our worlds. We seemed to handle a lot of things the same, though we never kicked our trees to gather fruit. I asked why they didn't just employ a unicorn to retrieve apples with magic since that had to be much faster than individually bucking trees, but she insisted that it wouldn't be the same. Hard working yet stubborn as can be? Yup, she was definitely a farmer.
Rainbow Dash then asked about what sports and such are like for humans. I was surprised to hear that pretty much every main sport existed for them in some form or another, you'd think stuff like Basketball and Football would be tricky with no fingers. But then again their hooves didn't obey any laws of logic to begin with. I did make sure to tell her about events we have such as the Super Bowl and World Cup, but I also made it known I was more of a band kinda guy than a sports guy. The mention of big spectacles also prompted Pinkie to ask about what kinds of parties and celebrations we have back home. That eventually turned into talks of holidays, and a lot of their versions of holidays seemed to be renamed but otherwise similar.
Next up was Fluttershy who asked about, what else, animals. It was interesting to hear which animals seemed to be fully sapient and capable of speech, like donkeys, buffalo, and even cows. Meanwhile others like fish and dogs weren't. Except for a group of dogs that kidnapped Rarity once, apparently? Sounded like some Goofy and Pluto shit to me. Something in the conversation Twilight also found especially interesting was just how many species existed in Equestria that were just creatures of fiction for us. These guys had Windigos, Changelings, Hyrdas and more? Shit, place was more dangerous than I thought.
And of course we didn't have dragons, which caught everypony by surprise, especially Spike. He started to get nervous about what would happen if he were to go through the portal if his kind doesn't exist in my world, but I pointed out how humans don't exist here and I simply became a pony. He'd probably just turn into a gecko or something. Meanwhile the topics brought up by Rarity lasted the shortest since we shared the least amount of interests, though I shared what I could about the goings on with fashion for humans. I did feel tempted to point out how it's weird for any humans to be without clothes and wondered why a fashionista pony of all characters also chose to go nude, but I didn't want to make things weird. Especially since Spike was sweet on her.
On that note, when it came time for Twilight to brief the others on the plan for when we arrived at Appleloosa, the dragon took that opportunity to tell me about his date since she had already gone over the plan with him multiple times the night before. Spike and Rarity's date seemed to have gone well, he claimed they had gone bowling before later having a romantic dinner. You would think someone with fingers to utilize the holes in a bowling ball would have the upper hand, but apparently she steamrolled him. Personally, as he continued to describe their dinner it seemed to me like it was more of a puppy love situation and the vast differences the two had would eventually stop things from going further, but I was proud that the date I sorta, kinda, not really helped set up seemed to be a success.
Eventually, the whistle of the train bellowed from ahead. Outside I could see the familiar old west-style houses from the very same episode that started this whole mess. This was it, do or die time. Well, do or 'be stuck in a cartoon for who knows how long' time was more accurate, but that doesn't sound as cool. The plan was simple, since they didn't know how powerful or unpredictable the portal could be if it appears, the others were going to spread throughout the city to make sure nopony else could come nearby. Applejack had contacted her cousin about finding an excuse to get everypony out of the town for the day, but it was possible there would still be stragglers around the city that may have slept in or something. It was best to make sure the area was safe. Meanwhile, Pinkie would lead me to the area she had originally pulled me in from. Since we knew for a fact she could go through to my world and back without issue, it wouldn't be a problem having her around.
"We'll come to see you off if it's safe," Spike said as we piled out of the train. Seeing as this was a fairly nothing middle of nowhere town, we were unsurprisingly the only ones to depart at the stop. "But in the chance that the portal does pop up and we can't get near it... well, I guess this is it." He grinned, holding out his hand for a little fist bump. I was happy to return the gesture. "So, yeah, thanks again for everything."
"It was fun!" Rainbow Dash hovered over, repeating the same gesture as Spike with her hoof. "Sorry that you gotta go back to boring, flightless life again." She chuckled, having dipped that comment in plenty of sarcasm. Though I wouldn't lie, losing the ability to fly WAS gonna be a bit of a bummer.
Applejack, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Twilight stuck to a more plain hug for their goodbyes. Not really my style, but I wasn't going to be rude and decline. Once everything was all said and done, Twilight apparently felt the need to brief Pinkie one last time. "Just come and get us if it's safe for us to be around. The town isn't too big, so we should be easy to find."
"You can count on me!" Pinkie did a little salute with her front hoof, grinning at her bookworm friend and then back at me. "Come on, Morgan, let's get you home!"
As soon as she was done saying it, Pinkie Pie was already hopping off on her merry way without waiting for a response. Not needing to get left behind, I gave the others a final wave before catching up. Being in unfamiliar territory, I remembered very little about the town from when I originally watched the episode, I left it up to her to lead the way.
"So where exactly are we going again?" I asked to pass the time. "From what I remember, that episode was all over the place throughout."
"The stage on the outskirts of town where I originally did my song," she answered, hopping along with the genuine enthusiasm that only Pinkie could pull off. "That's where I saw you and brought you into Equestria from, so that should be where the portal shows up."
Sure, makes enough sense to me. "So tell me something, how is it that you pulled me in from this place, but once we went through the TV we were in Ponyville instead?"
For just a moment, the hyperactive pony took a pause from her hopping. Was she pondering? Did even she not know how this shit worked? Eventually she shrugged, returning to her bouncing. "Probably because you were watching a rerun instead of when it happened for real."
Well that makes less sense, but it wasn't like I had a better answer, so I may as well accept that one. Doesn't explain how she could see and interact with me if that was supposedly not when it really happened, but there was no point dwelling on it.
"While we're talking about it and since this is kinda my last chance to say it," she suddenly continued, stopping her bouncing once again to this time let me catch up and walk alongside me. "I'm sorry for getting you into this whole mess. It wasn't nice of me to drag you into Equestria without thinking about the consequences."
Huh. Wasn't expecting the sudden guilt coming from the party pony now of all times. You'd think she'd want to keep the mood chipper since this was hopefully going to be my goodbye. "Don't worry about it. Like I've said, there's plenty of humans back home that would have been ecstatic at the gesture. You just got unlucky with who you chose, that's all."
Pinkie giggled. "Maybe. But I think you enjoyed your time here more than you'd like to admit. You proved your special talent, you learned how to fly, set Spike up on a date, you even had you very own stalker!"
Yes, that was indeed an accurate summary of my stay here. "Well... it definitely wasn't boring, I'll give you that much." Truth be told? Yeah, I did have fun. Not all the time, and it was stressful being stuck in a cartoon, but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't fun learning how to fly, or trying to get Spike out of the friendzone. But at the end of the day, even after I'm back home, Pinkie still probably subjected my friends and family to panic and grief over thinking I disappeared and died. So I wasn't going to admit that to her, she had to learn something from this mess.
After a bit more walking and idle chit chat, we finally arrived. The stage had been set up on the outskirts of the town, surrounded by some apple trees. It was smaller than I remembered it from the episode, just a tiny wooden platform and frame, a white cloth draped over the floor and a dusty purple curtain. At the edge of the stage was a single piano that I recalled Spike playing during the song. Had this thing even seen any use since that episode?
As we approached the stage, I was overwhelmed with an intense sensation. The presence of a certain feeling. A feeling of... nothing.
"So, uh, where's the portal?" I asked, tapping a hoof against the side of the stage to see if that triggered anything. No dice. I galloped over to behind the stage to see if the portal may have been behind the curtain, but all I could find were old timey western outfits on a clothes rack. "This is the right place, isn't it?"
Upon returning to the front of the stage, I found Pinkie starring up at the sky, unresponsive. I couldn't get a read on her expression. Was that worry? Disbelief? Or maybe... guilt? Oh God, this was a dead end, wasn't it? The one lead we had about how to get me home and it was a bust.
"Well, shoot," I mumbled dejectedly, the second word still not coming out the way I had intended. "Guess I should have known it was too good to be true."
"Oh, I wouldn't say that," Pinkie finally responded, her blank stare turning into a huge grin. "See for yourself!"
"See what? There's nothing here!" My tone was probably more snippy than it needed to be, but how else would I react to a dead end? All this place had was apple trees, a busted old stage, a slowly appearing purple vortex, a piano, a- "Wait, what?"
"What the hell is happening?"
I would have been glad to answer Brycen's question if it weren't for the fact that my TV was turning into a fucking black hole or something. The room was shaking and it was like there was heavy wind despite us being indoors. Some movies and games fell off of the shelf and I had to rush to stop the lamp from falling off of my dresser and letting the light bulb shatter on the floor. The source of the wind was coming from my television, as if what we had just been watching on there wasn't enough of a mindfuck.
Then, just as soon as the disturbance had started, it stopped. My room was once again calm and quiet. Not for long, though, since after one look at the TV changed that.
"Whoa." I mumbled. "The fuck am I looking at?"
The actual content itself that had been playing on the TV hadn't changed, the weird fever dream episode of MLP somehow featuring our missing friend in pony form was still going on. But now the screen emitted something of a purple hue. Most notably, it now looked less like we were watching images on a screen, and more like we were looking at the reflection from a river. The screen seemed to ripple like water. I took a loud step forward to get a closer look, and sure enough the image briefly trembled like a glass of liquid.
But that wasn't all that was off. Previously Pinkie Pie had suddenly went into a stare, looking directly at the screen as the pony that sounded like our friend checked behind a stage. But now this other pony had joined her. He stared towards us, mouth agape and eyes wide. He seemed to stammer a bit, but eventually found his words.
"Axel? Brycen?"
The hairs on my arm shot up. I almost felt the need to clean out my ears to make sure I wasn't hearing things or going crazy, but the situation was already ludicrous enough as it was. I knew what I heard. One look of awe over at Brycen, and I could tell from his identical expression that he had heard it too.
As ridiculously as it had to have looked, I stared at the pony beyond the screen. I was almost too flabbergasted to speak. I had to put aside my thoughts of feeling like a lunatic believing that a cartoon was talking to me. Finally, I bit the bullet and responded.
"Morgan?"
This time I wasn't able to fight back the tears. After weeks in this place I was starting to think I'd never see fellow humans again. But there they were, my two dumbass friends that inadvertently got me stuck in this whole mess. I could almost be mad at them if I wasn't so damn happy to finally see the real world again.
"I knew it would work," Pinkie said, a happy bounce to her tone. The portal was essentially a large purple circle showing the image of Axel's room with my two friends watching us in disbelief. Pinkie grinned and waved at the two doofuses. "Sorry for taking your friend! Don't worry, though, he's been having a super fun time! I mean, he doesn't want to admit that he did, but it's definitely obvious, and-"
Pinkie continued babbling, but it was easy to tune out. My friends seemed to be just as dumbfounded as I was, with all three of us slowly looking around through the portal to confirm we were all indeed seeing this. Was this the fourth wall? Is this what Pinkie saw constantly? Was there one of these portals for every TV watching them? Shit, that had to be annoying to deal with, maybe that's what made her such a loon.
"Is that really you, Morgan?" Brycen finally asked, which got her to stop talking. "What's going on? What is this?"
"It's a long story," I replied. "But yes, it's really me."
Axel gave me a sort of perplexed look that told me he wasn't entirely sure this wasn't just some sort of crazy dream. He reached down, sitting back up with a sock in his hand. Balling it up, he chucked it straight at us. There was a small whooshing sound as it hit the portal before, sure enough, the sock came out on our end and fell to the ground.
Following along, I retrieved the garment, holding it up to show that it did indeed go through. I then balled it back up and threw it back through the portal. I could see as it appeared through their end, falling down to Axel's floor with their eyes glued to it.
"That's totally sick," Axel whispered, looking up with a huge grin. "Dude, how did this happen?"
Since I had no thumb to point at her, I lifted my hoof towards Pinkie. "Because of her. Like I said, it's a long story."
"Since the portal seems safe, I can let you and your friends catch up while I go and get the others," Pinkie offered. "Just don't go through it yet, I don't know if it'll go away or not as soon as you do."
I nodded, and she zoomed off back into town without a second of hesitation. While it was tempting to just be done with it and go through immediately, I figured Twilight wanted to observe the portal in person for research purposes. And since she found the lead to help me get here to begin with, it was the least I could do as thanks.
"So... you've been in a cartoon this entire time, huh?" Brycen asked once Pinkie had swooced away. I responded with a nod. "What's it like?"
"It's... different." I held up my front hooves and gave em a wave. "Adjusting to not having fingers and walking on all fours was a pain. Though I got wings as a trade off." To prove my point, I flapped my wings and hovered a bit off the ground. I could feel the jealousy through their stares.
"Dude, that's so cool." Axel leaned closer towards the portal to get a closer look, but seemed too nervous to get too close. "I wonder why you specifically ended up being a Pegasus... so like, did you know how to fly automatically?"
"Nah, Rainbow Dash had to teach me." Another jaw drop from the two of them at the mention of that. Well shit, may as well ham it up while I'm on a roll. "Yeah, it's been a pretty crazy stay. I met all of the main characters, Lyra, Derpy..."
"Seriously?" Axel groaned, exchanging frustrated looks with Brycen. "Man, why did you get to check it out instead of us, you don't even LIKE the show!"
"I know, right?" That got a good laugh out of me. They laughed in return. "Blame Pinkie, I guess, she's the one that did it."
Speaking of the devil, or rather the hyper horse, this had been an oddly long amount of time for her to return. Not that I had a problem with catching up with my friends, still in pony form or not, it was just that Pinkie seemed to usually work really fast. I would have at least expected her and Rainbow Dash to be back by now.
"Hey, I just noticed he actually has a cutie mark," Brycen suddenly pointed out. "Did you just already have that when you turned into a pony?"
"No, actually," I answered, glancing back to that little ass tattoo. "Funny story about that, actual-"
Before I could finish my thought, I felt a sudden shock overcome me, tensing me up and causing me to keel over. It was like a hand buzzer on steroids.
As I flopped to the ground like a fish I could have sworn I heard distressed yells from my friends, but whatever they were saying I couldn't hear. When my vision and hearing seemed to finally return, the voices I heard were something else entirely.
"I dare say, brother of mine, this might be one of our best inventions yet."
That voice.... the pony from the train? What the hell?
"I do believe you're right," another voice replied. They sounded similar with just a slightly different pitch. "Furthermore, I think we have one doozy of a spectacle on our hands with this find! Why, we'll be swimming in bits by the time it's all said and done."
While the two of them continued to babble, I tried to catch my bearings. I could hardly move, and any attempts to wiggle myself free seemed fruitless. From what I could see, it looked like I was caught in some sort of net, and the damn thing was tight. Even trying to move my wings proved useless. Shit, now I wish I was brought here as a unicorn instead.
"Let him go, you bacon haired shit heads," I heard Brycen yell. "He's been through enough as it is."
"Yeah, fuck off Flim and Flam," Axel added. "The hell are you two doing here anyway, that doesn't even make any sense."
"Quite the odd lingo on them, eh Flim?"
"Took the words right out of my mouth, Flam. They're strange looking creatures too, aren't they?"
More wiggling and attempted thrashing proved useless. This net wasn't budging anytime soon. Giving up on that, I did my best to at least rock side to side until I could get the momentum needed to roll over on my back. As expected, there was that weirdo from the train, Flim if I was recognizing the tones from the conversation correctly. Flam was next to him, and he was pretty much identical to the former save for a mustache. Axel and Brycen were on their feet glaring through the portal, caught up in their back and forth with the brothers.
"OK, yeah, as much as I'm loving laying in the dirt, anyone care to explain what the heck is going on?" I shot a nasty look at Flim and Flam's vaudeville looking asses. "Who are you two and why am I in a net?"
"Who are we?" the mustachioed unicorn repeated, smirking.
"Why, I'm glad you asked!" The clean shaven brother jumped into the fray, exchanging a glance with his brother as they both took a breath as if they were gonna break out into song. "We're-"
"Flim and Flam, they were one-off villains in an episode," Axel suddenly cut off. "And you're in a net because they shot it at you."
The brothers gave my friend the sort of look I'd give someone who cut me off in traffic. Flam eventually cleared his breath and nodded. "While I'm not sure what an 'episode' is in their speak, at least this one knows who we are."
"And indeed they're right," Flim added, holding up what looked like an empty thermos. "Flim and Flam's Instant Electro-net! Ideal for quickly apprehending and stopping any critter in its tracks!"
"We think it's the perfect aide for somepony who may be dealing with a pest terrorizing their garden, for example. But we've had trouble finding buyers due to concerns about it not being 'humane' enough." Flam did a little air quote with his hoof, rolling his eyes. "But clearly it works like a charm!"
While that made me want to cuss the brothers out for potentially electrocuting me, I was distracted by the sudden feeling of floating. Strange since my wings were currently out of commission. Looking around, I saw the net covered in a green aura that matched an identical glow coming from Flam's horn. Seemed to be the culprit.
"Let's walk and talk, wouldn't want your friends waking up and interrupting us."
I could hear my friends yelling obscenities the brothers way in protest, but there was little I could do against the magic lifting me away. "What do you mean wake up? The heck did you do to them?"
"When you're trying to make your item a hot seller, you tend to carry a lot of the product on you, friend." Flim withdrew another one of those electro net shooters from his shirt, winking. "And we're more than familiar with your companions. Figured they could use a quick snooze so they wouldn't be an issue."
Well that's creepy. These two must be a huge hit with the ladies. "You realize two of them are unicorns, right? Once they wake up they'll just teleport out of your dinky nets and find us."
"Not if we're gone by then."
As if on cue, the non-mustachioed brother's horn lit up with a magical glow of its own. I heard the sounds of sputtering and creeks of what sounded like a run down jalopy. But looking towards the source of the noise revealed a contraption that seemed to be one part train, one part car, and one part Willy Wonka-looking abomination.
"I can see you're in awe of our World Famous Super Speedy Cider Squeezey 6000," Flim commented, probably noticing the weird look I was giving their machine. "This baby not only specializes in making top of the line cider, it also doubles as a top of the line getaway vehicle!"
So, what, these guys had this thing all along? "Hold up. If you guys had your own ride already, why in the heck were you on the train to begin with?"
Flim's eyes narrowed and he began to mumble something under his breath while approaching the machine. Flam continued to keep me held in midair while his brother began tinkering.
"Things have been a bit complicated since our run in with your little friends. We've tried selling our services to just about every town from Manehattan to Las Pegasus, but it seems word travels fast."
"And little did we know Applejack has family here when we rolled into town to try and offer Appleloosa some Grade A cider," Flim grumbled from nearby, still messing with the Cider Squeezy. "They roughed up our poor locomotive and we had to ride out of town for the replacement parts."
"Well I mean... the word Apple is literally in the town's name, you guys are kinda stupid if you didn't know Applejack would have kin here." The brothers both shot me an annoyed glare, giving me some smug satisfaction. "Ok so you happened to see us on the ride back and now you've kidnapped me. What's the next step of your master plan, smart guys?"
Flam chuckled, pointing a hoof back at the direction we had come from. "Well we couldn't help but overhear your conversations with the others about your unique situation. Of course, we thought it was complete hogwash at first, but seeing is believing as they say. And indeed, that anomaly you created back there was quite the convincing case."
"And the way we see it," his brother added, now joining us with his repairs seemingly done. "There's ponies out there who would pay a nice amount of bits to see a portal to another dimension with their own eyes!"
"A Portal to the World of Humans, Live from Appleoosa!" Flam waved a hoof in front of his face, emphasizing each word. "Has a nice ring to it, don't ya think?"
Well, I'd like to say it was a stupid plan, but I knew at least one pony that would indeed have paid top dollar for such a show, so it was hard to argue with. "So what, you're just planning to keep me locked up like an animal?"
"You'll be free to go after we put on the show," Flam answered. "Just think of it as a somewhat cramped vacation before you go back to wherever it is you came from."
"And how do you know something won't go terribly wrong bringing that many ponies to the portal? Heck, who knows if my friends will even be around the portal at that time to give you guys the show you want? Furthermore, how are you gonna pull off advertising this thing without Twilight and the others finding out when they'll be looking for-"
"Shhh." Flim held a hoof up to my mouth, flashing a cocky smirk. "We'll work out the details later. Right now we need to get moving. Ready, brother of mine?"
Flam nodded. "Ready!" With another pulse from his horn, the net and I were hoisted up to the bed of the huge contraption, sticking me in the middle of a circle of barrels. I tried my damnedest to struggle and wiggle my way out, but the net wasn't budging and I could do little more than hit my head against the barrels. The brother's laughter could be made out as I felt the contraption sputter to life and begin to move. I tried letting out a few calls for help, but there was no reply. This was really happening. Inches away from going home, and I'm being kidnapped.
"Well... this stinks."
Life as a prisoner was hard times. The terrain these brothers trekked was bumpy and uncomfortable. Being stuck in a net meant I couldn't stretch out my limbs and it gave me a killer pain in the neck. The only sustenance that aided me during these bleak hours was a slow drip of cider that leaked from a small hole in one of the barrels. And the cider tasted like rotten ass, so it wasn't much help at all. As hours turned to days, and days into weeks, truly this was a living Hell.
Or at least that's what it felt like. In reality it had been maybe 30 minutes to an hour since I was pony-napped, but it still sucked. "Hey, Tweedledee and Tweedledum, y'all realize that as soon as we roll up to a town I'm just gonna yell to get somepony to help, right? Then they'll kart you guys off to the Pony Gulag or whatever."
"Not to worry, friend, we'll be sure to leave you parked well outside the outskirts of town to ensure nopony can hear," I heard Flam shoot back from the front of the vehicle. "It shouldn't take us long, and we'll be sure to bring you back some grub."
"Indeed, Dodge Junction is just a hop skip and a jump away," Flim added. "So we'll have our first advertising gig done lickety split."
Hmph, these guys underestimate my yelling. One time I got so pissed off from losing a Smash Bros match the neighbors even had to come over to complain. Hell, when we were in an apartment I almost got Axel and I evicted when I went off on some cheater that was being a shit in TF2, and the people in the apartment above us complained to the landlord. I'll show these clowns what's up, just you wait.
Since I needed to save my vocal chords, it was a boringly silent ride to this Dodge Junction joint. Or at least I'd like to say as much, but those two nerds sung some sort of barbershop quartet sounding diddy as they drove. I mean to their credit they were pretty good singers, but considering how it lasted a good hour or however long it took to get to their destination, it was feeling like torture by the end.
Eventually their seemingly endless singing became too much to handle. "Could you two give it a rest already?"
Surprisingly enough, the singing immediately stopped. "You have impeccable timing, friend," called back who I was pretty sure to be Flam. Their voices were pretty similar, so it was hard to be certain. "Looks like we've arrived."
I would have loved to be able to look up and confirm if this Dodge Junction truly was nearby, but being in a net surrounded by cider barrels meant I had to take their word for it. The vehicle screeched to a stop and I could hear the two of them get out and walk closer to where I was.
"We shouldn't be long, it's a rather small town," who I'm pretty sure was Flim said, sounding like he was lifting some materials out of the Cider Squeezy. "We'll do our advertising round, grab some grub, and be back quick as a whip!"
"And how exactly do you plan on doing advertising, hm? Just going around to random ponies and telling them there's gonna be a portal to another world down in Appleoosa like some kinda lunatics?"
"It's all about showmanship, my boy," Flam answered, chuckling like a smug fuck. "And nopony does showmanship like us! You'd be surprised how far a song and good pitch will get ya. We'll make our show the talk of the town before the end of the hour."
With that said, I could hear the sound of hooves growing more and more faint. The chatter between the brothers faded away and soon enough the only sound to keep me company was the slow drip of cider from the barrel. This was fine. Just give it a few minutes for them to be far enough away, then I'd get to calling for help.
It was hard to get a feeling for time when you're just laying in a cramped net with no watch to speak of. I figured if I jumped the gun and yelled while the vaudevillians were too close in range they'd just hurry back and tape over my mouth. To pass the time I decided to count the drips of cider. I figured 100 drips would be sufficient time to let them move away.
"20 drips. 21 drips. 22 drips. 24 drips. 25 drips." Wait a minute, did I miss one? Shit, better start from the beginning. "1 drip. 2 drips. 3 drips. 4 drips. 5 dri-"
"Hey Morgan, watcha doing?"
Oh great, I'd become so bored I'm now starting to hear voices in my head. One that sounded suspiciously like Lyra, oddly enough.
"Dear Celestia, is he in a net? What happened?"
Huh, and that one sounds like Bon Bon... wait a minute. "Girls? Is that really you?"
Shifting my head, I was greeted by what was either a mirage or indeed the genuine ponies in the flesh scooting aside some barrels. "Yup! But seriously, what happened to you, how'd you end up like this?" Lyra asked.
"Some dudes called Flim and Flam ambushed us before I could go home and kidnapped me... but how the heck are you two here? You couldn't have just walked here from Ponyville."
The two of them began pushing away the cider barrels around me while Lyra responded. "Well at first I didn't want to force myself into your sendoff, so I was just going to leave it at the goodbye we had earlier. But the more I thought about missing the one opportunity to see a real live portal to the human world, the more I started to regret it."
"She practically begged to catch the next train out to Appleoosa, and I didn't want her to have to leave by herself," Bon Bon added. "I tried to convince her that you'd surely be gone by the time we got there, but she wouldn't listen to reason."
With an ample amount of room around me, they then started to work on the net while Lyra continued. "And it's a good thing too. When we started getting close, we just so happened to look out the window and saw this machine from when those two brothers tried to put Applejack's family out of business."
"There isn't a lot of towns in this area, so we could tell from the direction they were driving that they were going to Dodge Junction," Bon Bon continued. "We couldn't help but think it was a weird coincidence to see them of all ponies in the same area, so Lyra insisted we ride the train here."
As they continued talking, they finally were able to get me free from the net. The moment I had freedom for my limbs, I nearly stumbled back from the stretching. "So then what, you just walked around the outskirts of town until you found this thing and me?"
"Pretty much," Lyra answered. "You're welcome, by the way."
Well obviously I was thankful, I felt like I was going to lose all feeling in my legs inside of that damn net. Still, this was all a little too convenient in my opinion, but who was I to argue with freedom? "Thanks. Now lets get the heck out of here before they notice that I'm-"
"Hold it right there!" Speak of the devil, Flim and his brother appeared on the scene. "You're not going anywhere, buster. There's too much cash to be made in this portal to another world business for us to let it slip by us."
"Oh come on, weren't you too supposed to be doing some advertising?" Seriously, this was what I get for questioning the convenience of Lyra and Bon Bon showing up. "Why are you already back?"
"When you notice two mares sneaking around the outskirts of town you tend to get a bit suspicious," Flam answered. "We came back to make sure you wouldn't cause a scene and get their attention, and clearly we were right to be cautious."
"Yeah, well, there's three of us and two of you," I pointed out. "So how about you cut your losses and go away, hm?"
The mustachioed brother chuckled, pulling out another one of those net guns. "No can do, friend. This here is gonna be our meal ticket. If we let you go now then-"
Before the SOB could even finish his sentence, a barrel was chucked his way. A mint covered magical glow covered the barrel, and he was only just able to duck out of the way before getting beaned in the head.
"Enough!" Lyra picked up yet another barrel with her magic and chucked it at the clean shaven brother, forcing him to also duck. "You're not taking him anywhere, he is going home!"
I exchanged a look with Bon Bon who seemed just as surprised as me to see her friend doing her best Donkey Kong impression. But that just lead to another thought. Why should she have all the fun? Bon Bon apparently had the same idea, as she quickly joined me next to the barrels and helped me pick one up to throw at Flam.
"Have a taste of your own cruddy cider, ya jerks," I yelled as we threw a barrel at Flam.
"Yeah, see how YOU like it," Bon Bon added with another thrown at Flim. Between us chucking barrels and Lyra flinging them with her magic, the supply was quickly depleting. Thankfully the brothers were overwhelmed, and one eventually made contact with Flam that sent him to the ground. The net gun landed a bit away from him, and Lyra thought quickly to fling it farther away with magic before resuming barrel throwing.
"Now hold on, you're ruining our entire stoc-" Flim was cut short by a well placed barrel to the head thrown by your's truly. Well, me and Bon Bon. With a groan, he fell back defeated, out like a light. Since Flam was starting to get his footing, Lyra tossed a final barrel at HIS head, ensuring he was out cold too.
Before I even had time to catch my breath, a sudden strong gust of wind came down from above. Then, just as soon as it passed, it came back from the other direction. "Morgan!" Rainbow Dash's voice solved the mystery that lasted all of five seconds concerning what caused the gusts.
"You're ok!" She flew down just as quick as she had flown by overhead, a relieved smile showing her concern. "We got so worried, one minute we were just regrouping and the next thing we knew we all woke up in some sort of nets. When we got out of them, we couldn't find you anywhere and the portal was gone."
"Welp, you can thank those two for causing all of that." I pointed a hoof at the still unconscious brothers, Dash looking at them in what seemed to be a mix of confusion and anger. "They tried kidnapping me so they could turn a profit out of making a show opening the portal themselves."
She shook her head, eyes narrowed at the stallions. "Wish I could say I'm surprised, but they tried ruining Applejack's life and her family's. Sounds like something they'd do. Anyway, we figured you probably didn't go through the portal without us making sure you went through ok, so I scouted ahead to see if I could find you." She stopped, turning to face the other two mares standing with us. "Uh, by the way, why are those two here?"
"Long story," Bon Bon answered.
"We freed him from the net and gave those two a taste of their own medicine," Lyra continued. "Then, well, you showed up and now we're here."
"Huh. Well, I guess everything worked out pretty well then. You sure lucked out that they were around to help, eh Morgan?"
I nodded. "No doubt. Who knows how long I would have been in that net and away from home without them. And on that note, we're burning daylight." I hopped off of the Cider Squeezy, a new fire of determination burning within me. Or maybe it was indigestion, either way I was good and ready to get to stepping. "Let's move."
One train ride later and we were back in Appleoosa. Things got a bit awkward when Flim and Flam woke back up, but using their own net guns against them worked well to have them subdued for the time being. Apparently only proficient enough unicorns like Twilight could pull off teleportation, nifty. With Bon Bon and Lyra now joined up with the group, Applejack was the last to join us before returning to the portal area.
"Alright, I got those two locked up in the jail cell for the time being. I'll explain everything to Sheriff Silverstar when they get back." She sent an annoyed glare back at the building she had left. "Can't believe those two are still meddling with us. You'd think they'd have learned their lesson after Ponyville."
"Some ponies never change." Pinkie Pie shrugged, still grinning from ear to ear. "But enough about them, let's go ahead and finally get Morgan home!"
"Right." Twilight nodded, motioning a hoof forward. "Lead the way, Morgan."
OK. For real this time. No more Saturday Morning villains crawling out of the woodwork this time, please. Cautiously and looking around to make sure nopony else was going to get the jump on me, I slowly approached the stage on the outskirts of town. After a few moments of nothingness, sure enough the portal began to materialize.
"Whoa," Spike whispered in awe.
"This is so cool!" Lyra was giving Pinkie a run for her money with how much she was vibrating with excitement.
After a minute or so, the portal had grown to full size. Thankfully, Axel and Brycen were still looking back at us from the other end, both looking extremely relieved.
"Morgan?" Brycen called out. "Everything all good now?"
"Hopefully," I replied. I turned around, chuckling in amusement at the array of shocked expressions from everyone other than Pinkie. Twilight pulled out a pen and scroll from seemingly nowhere and began furiously jotting down notes. Fluttershy nervously hid a bit behind Rainbow Dash, and Lyra looked like she had just passed by the biggest celebrity you could imagine. "Everyone, meet my buds. Axel, Brycen, meet the ponies."
While not as extreme as Lyra's reaction, the two of them looked pretty awestruck. "Uh, hey," Axel eventually said, waving his hand. "Morgan hasn't been too much of a headache for you guys, has he?"
Well that was as good an icebreaker as any.
"Yeah, he ain't been too much trouble," Applejack answered. "Well, not until he went and got himself hogtied and all."
"And he could have picked up his flying lessons a little easier," Dash added.
"Oh, and he was a little stubborn finding his cutie mark," Pinkie pipped in.
"Alright, hey now, you guys are making me sound like I was some sort of huge handful." I nudged Spike next to me. "It hasn't all been bad, tell em Spike."
The dragon chuckled, looking back at Rarity. "Yeah, I guess it was nice having him around."
"Heck, we'll keep him if you don't want him back," Lyra quipped, still beaming from the whole situation. I couldn't really tell if she was joking or not. Half joking? Probably.
With the conversation started, the ponies took turns going back and worth with the guys. Rarity, as nicely as she could manage, not so subtly dissed their fashion sense and gave them her own suggestions. Axel retrieved his pet dog to show off to Fluttershy, and Brycen repeated the sock test from earlier per Twilight's request while she wrote her notes.
While the ponies took turns mingling with some humans, I took the opportunity to say my goodbyes to everypony. One fist and hoof bump from Spike, a tip of the hat from Applejack, and one suffocating hug from Pinkie Pie later and eventually I had covered them all. The commotion had quieted down and I looked back at the portal with my friends waiting on the other side.
"Welp... as much as I hate to admit it, it's been fun." And that was the truth, not that I exactly wanted to do this again. "But this is it. Time for me to go."
I started flying up towards the portal. Now that I thought about it, this was gonna be the last time I'd get to fly. Shit, I was actually gonna miss that. "Thanks for getting me home and everything. Y'all take care."
"It was nice meeting you, Morgan," Pinkie called while waving, the others joining her by yelling out final words of their own. "I'd say we should hang out again sometime, buuut I don't think you'd exactly want that."
That got a good laugh out of me. If it wasn't such a headache as getting me home was this time, maybe it wouldn't suck TOO much, but as it was I had received my fill of this place. With one final wave, I turned to face my friends looking on from their end. Taking a deep breath and shutting my eyes, I flew into the portal.
"My Little Pony, My Little Pony, Aaaaaa-"
"Hey, could you not?" I immediately turned the channel mid-theme song, giving Brycen an annoyed glare. "It's not funny."
He shrugged, chuckling. "Eh, it's a little funny, Morgan. Don't you feel like reminiscing?"
"Bite me."
I wasn't actually upset or anything over the show being played and my tone should have reflected that, but still. It had already been an eventful enough week as it was. I made it through the portal without issue, thankfully, and somehow even still had on the clothes I was wearing when I was originally pulled in. Not sure how that worked out, but then again how did any of this shit work to begin with?
It was initially an adjustment having my anatomy changed back so Brycen and Axel had to drag me to a seat while we caught up. As soon as I came through the portal, the TV was just playing the ending of that Over a Barrel episode. The guys checked all over the web the next day for any sign of anyone else seeing what went down, but as far as they could tell everywhere else just saw a rerun of that episode during the time they saw me getting kidnapped and everything.
Once I got used to being bipedal again, then came the hard part. Telling my family and everyone else that I wasn't dead. Obviously we couldn't go with the truth, so the story goes that in a moment of angst I ran away momentarily to clear my mind and be on my own. Axel and Brycen agreed to go along with the story and drove me to my mom's. It made me feel like shit lying to her with how broken up she was, but she was at least happy to have me home. Everyone bought the story, so now it was all a matter of things settling back to normal.
"Just got a message from Peter," Axel said as he entered the room. "He and the boys will be meeting us for wings in 15. Y'all good to go?"
"Yup." I nodded. This was the first big gathering for me and my friends since I got back. Sort of an unofficial welcome back party even if they wouldn't acknowledge it as that. Mom was pretty hesitant to see me going out again so soon, but I did my best to calm her nerves.
"Morgan can catch the lads up on what they missed," Brycen added. "I think they'd particularly get a kick from the story about everyone in Ponyville thinking you were boning Lyra."
I couldn't help but laugh as the three of us gathered our things and started making our way to the car. "I'm good. No more pony talk for me, I've had more than my fill. I'll be putting it all behind me, thank you very much."
"Ah come on, man," Axel teased, unlocking the car. "After all of that, surely you actually like MLP by now, right?"
I paused, reflecting on everything I went through. Everything from being sucked through a TV to being kidnapped. It was a wild ride, and a lot of it truly did subvert my expectations of what the show was. The characters were pretty cool, for the most part, and I didn't totally hate my time there. There was action, drama, genuine laughs. In another dimension, I probably could have been lifelong friends with them just like I am now with these guys.
"Well, it was interesting, and those ponies aren't as bad as I thought," I finally answered. "... But the show still sucks."
With that, the car pulled out of the driveway and we were off.
