Trolls in Equestria

by theFlancy Mernin

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Bon-Bon, Crossover, Alternate Universe, Doctor Whooves, Main 6, Original Character
Length: 2775

When eight trolls get bored, they tamper around with a few strange artifacts. With a weird-sounding SHWOOMP, they're suddenly in a land where small, colorful hoofbeasts are one of top civilization creatures. Wait, what?

Flancy Mernin didn't really think that tampering with those artifacts(at least not too much) was a good idea. Maybe drawing on them is what set them off? Or was it using them as gallbladder content jugs? Or maybe trying to fuse them together for fun?
But whichever one of those it was, it still made the artifacts go totally batshit crazy enough to unleash whatever magical powers they had on the eight of them,sending them straight(Yet kinda wiggly, too?) to the place where brightly colored hoofbeasts were one of many top civilizations. Reaper, of course, in his snooty, navy blue blood way, didn't like this idea. The others seemed a bit bothered by it, too, though not as much. Besides, think of all the havoc...er, fun that could happen!

I do not own MLP: FIM or its characters, nor do I own Homestuck.
As of currently, I do not yet have an editor, and anyone who would like to take on that role can!
Critique is appreciated, and I hope you enjoy!
WARNING
I am more than likely the worst procrastinator this dimension has ever seen; therefore, this is the reason that I ask you, no, BEG YOU, to yell at me for taking too long to update or some such.
ANOTHER WARNING
I am not likely to ever get back to this as I, whilst spending time pretty much ignoring this story, have found several flaws in the characters and plotline. This means that the story, if I ever get back to it, will have some serious reworking and rewriting.

Published 2013-11-16 06:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-11-18 03:53:45 UTC

Chapter One: Flancy

Flancy was lounging in front of her computer, a bit bored. Her four spider-leg-like horns, two on each side, reached down just above her jawline, the front two a small bit shorter than the back two. Her long, dark grey hair hung past her shoulder blades, and her yellow eyes flitted over the screen behind her top-rimmed glasses. Her left eye was not unlike a cat's, but the other was perfectly normal. Her tongue, as most always, stuck out of her mouth, which was always in a catlike grin.

Her foot tapped the floor under her seat and her finger clacked away at the computer keys, chatting with trepadaciousTiger in a chat room(kind of; he didn't talk much). Her own tag was paperPsychiatrist, and she 5p0ke w1ith a 5l1ght 4ccent. Flancy glances over at her lusus, a basilisk-like creature with a duck bill, the front paws of a lion, the wings of a phoenix, the tail of a drake, and, of course, the same horns as Flancy. It was, in Flancy's opinion, kind of cute, but to her friends, it was pretty strange. As of currently, it was snoozing in a pile of books of magic. She then looked out her window, to see the dripping stalactites, towering stalagmites, and the roaring waterfall nearby: Her room, at the top of her hive(Which reached from floor to ceiling of the cave she lived in), had a great view. She smiles, and goes back to the chat room.

One color popped out at her first, because she had spoke with him only a couple times. It was Reaper Grinne's navy blue text, saying that he had found an area that they hadn't explored yet with some stuff to mess around with there; there were already five replies to Reaper's message. Flancy thought a moment, and then she replies, "Hmm, 50und5 l1ke fun! 1'll c0me t00!".

Flancy stands up, stretches, and captchalouges her left-handed fancy glove, which was actually a magic glove in disguise. She looks about, looking for things she might need. No matter what, she always over-prepared so she would get a good deal with fate if something happened. This time, though, she felt an overwhelming need to bring lots of extra stuff too, so she brought a portable sleeping cocoon, some food, a knife, more food for someone because she just knew that at least one of the others wouldn't bring food, some paper for folding into fingers, and several of her books about magic.

Once done organizing the stuff, Flancy returned to her computer to see what the others have been chatting about. Reaper had said that it was excellent that everyone decided to come, and after that was a teleport code for the area he had talked about.There are messages from everyone but Flancy that they'd be there soon and she replied the same.

Within a short time, her teleporter had located a safe place to put her in the proximity of the area, and conjured a stable portal. Flancy quickly went over her supplies, and both seeing and sensing that she was all good, she stepped through to her destination.

~ ~ ~

Twilight Sparkle had never had such a headache in her whole life. It wasn't a headache in the normal way, nor was it a migraine. It was actually that Twilight's whole head hurt, as though the pain was ricocheting around in her skull at speeds faster than Rainbow Dash could go. She groaned again, and Spike poked his head up from under his blankets to see Twilight holding her hooves against her temples, her face buried in her pillows. "...Ow..." she said.

Spike rubbed his eyes blearily and got out of his bed. Looking out the window, he was surprised to see that it was nearly noon. Twilight would've normally waken him up far earlier to do his chores and so on. "Twilight? What's wrong?" Spike asked her sleepily.

Twilight merely groaned again. She needed quiet, and darkness would help to stop making her head pound so hard. It also didn't help that she was starving, and as if on cue, her stomach growled in protest to this fact. Spike heard her stomach and chuckled to himself, then went downstairs to make them both some brunch. Spike tied an apron around his waist and got to work fixing up some hay and barley pancakes and heated some maple tree sap syrup for Twilight.

Perched on a tree branch nearby, Owlowiscious watched as Spike gathered what he needed. At one point, Spike was trying to reach an ingredient he couldn't quite reach, and Owlowiscious hooted for his attention. When Spike turned around, he smiled and asked, "Hey, could you help me get that barley right there for Twilight's pancakes?"

Owlowiscious blinked sleepily and responded with the usual "Whoo?"

The baby dragon blinked, and then a stern look came over his face. "Uh-uh. I'm not going to fall for that again, you hear? Now, could you get the barley please?" he asked again, waving a claw at the owl.

Owlowiscious knew there was low chance of amusement now, so instead of pursuing fun, flew over to the bag of barley and placed it on the floor near Spike. Owlowiscious then flew up to his perch and promptly fell asleep, not waiting for thanks. With a smile, Spike began making the pancakes for Twilight, and hummed an abstract tune as he did so.

Once the pancakes were done, Spike took out a plate and put three pancakes on it for Twilight. Munching one for himself, he retrieved the maple syrup and a cup of orange juice, placing a small chunk of butter on the side of the plate. Grabbing the proper utensils, Spike arranges the food nicely, and then puts it all on a sturdy tray to bring to Twilight.

Looking around carefully, Spike is pleased to see that nopony has thought to come get or return a book yet today, so he wouldn't have to help somepony out while Twilight's food became cold. Quickly and carefully ascending the stairs, Spike peered toward Twilight and seeing she was asleep before placing the tray on the side table, and then closed the curtain so that Twi could get some sleep. After that, Spike stayed downstairs to help anypony who came around for book business for the rest of the day, knowing Twilight needed her rest.

Chapter Two: Takeri

A masked ninja appears near her prey. Hidden from the horde of imps that were lounging about on the sand, gravel and stones, she stalks closer, quieter than the night sky that soared high above. Pulling four ninja stars from her Cricket Sounds Sylladex, causing a few of the sounds that is made by the creature's legs rubbing against its exoskeleton, she crept ever closer to a small group of clannish imps.

Takeri Sienne, her senses focused on her immediate surroundings and those of the imp's, readied herself to aim, flick, and snatch her prey, then slit its neck. Her brown blood pumped through her veins, slowly reaching faster speeds. Takeri loved hunting, as it tested her skills and expertise as a ninja, and it gave her the thrill of being outside of her Hive. Her lusus was going to be hungry soon, and Takeri didn't want to be on the receiving end of what she liked to call its 'Hunger Madness'.

Quickly flitting behind another rock towards the imps, she allowed herself a small grin. This next part was the best part of the hunt, and she was ready to do it.

Takeri darted to the next rock that was both large enough to hide her and close enough to the imps in order to whisk them behind it. Pulling a tiny stone from from Sylladex with another cricket sound, she gauged the distance, then threw it to the other side of her prey. As expected, the imp's heads turn towards the sounds the rock makes as it clatters to the gravel in the opposite direction of her, and Takeri takes this chance to flick one of her ninja stars into the closets one's spine, where it bull's-eyed in between the vertebrae that connected its neck to its spine.

Faster than a bullet fired from a sniper rifle, she snatches the imp's now-immobile body and darts back behind her rock with it over her shoulder without a sound. Swiftly setting it on its knees with its back to her and its neck nearly against the rock, Takeri sends a thanks to the Shadow Creature for a good beginning of the hunt. Then, whipping a sharp knife from the side of her leg, with a quick slice, she sends the imp to Tartarus, or Imp Hell, or wherever they go when their minds permanently leave their bodies.

Takeri takes a burlap sack from her Sylladex(along with, needless to say, another cricket sound), and stuffs the imp's body inside unceremoniously. Keeping her ninja stars and few more small stones at hand, she captchalouges the bag, then darts to another rock at about the same distance, but another view where she was behind a new imp.

Takeri repeats this process, making sure that the imps didn't notice their comrades disappearing. When she got to the last one, instead of immobilizing it completely and killing it, she sneaks up behind it and hits several of its pressure points in quick succession. Takeri then stuffs it into a different bag than the one with all of the dead imps, and captchalouges them next to each other.

Now done with her hunt, she does a rendezvous with her teleporter, and within a minute Takeri is back in her hive. Keeping in mind her lusus' feeding schedule, she checks the time and finds that there is enough time to check up on her friends. Her ID is silentBlade and shee speeaks with a ceertain kind of way that draws out heer E's.

Takeri sits down at her computer and reads the message from Reaper, and sees two more messages responding to it. She then replies, "I find thee fact that wee havee not yeet seeen this placee inteereesting. I shall atteend thee eeveent of eexploration.". She then checks the time, and figures that an early feeding couldn't hurt her lusus.

Takeri stands up, stretches, and then walks out of her personal room. Takeri readies herself for the long run through the twisting, maze-like hive that she shared with other ninja trolls. She starts run sprinting through the hallway, leaping over secret trip wires and slicing through practice dummies with her katana, which was always strapped to her back. As she ran, she glanced left and right, darting into different hallways in order to challenge herself. When she reached the main room, she quickly ducked into a forward roll and landed on one knee and with the other foot forward. She scanned the room and flicked ninja stars at enemies as each moving dummy popped up, all but one out of fifteen hitting bullseye. Takeri grimaced, taking note that the one that was off was two circles out; she had mistimed it slightly.

Once that challenge was done, Takeri stood and ran for another door. Leaping over a trapdoor, she grabbed a red toothbrush from a pedestal and a packet of toothpaste from the next. Landing on a small, floating island of dirt, Takeri leaped from one floating island to the next before they could fall into the abyss below. They would come back up, of course, but that took a very long time. Takeri was going for speed, so any second that she didn't go fast enough was wasted.

Eventually, she reached regular hallway again, which quickly lead to a doorway. Takeri burst through the door, and with the toothbrush and toothpaste in hand, she watered her toothbrush in a pure, freshwater waterfall as she ran by it. She squeezed a tiny bit of toothpaste on the toothbrush, and then started to brush her teeth, still running. The next two minutes was filled with dodging waterfalls, leaping pools of toxin, and brushing teeth. Takeri finally reached another door, and she slowed to a stop just outside of it. She was breathing a little hard, and took a small amount of time to slow it, take her toothbrush out of her mouth, and examine the patterns on the door to her lusus' room. Takeri checked the time, and then with a small breath, she pushed open the door.

Takeri took out the bag with the dead imps inside, and walked forward onto a small landing. Looking around, Takeri found that, as usual, her lusus was nowhere to be seen, not even by a trained eye. Holding the bag before her, she stepped to the edge of the landing, opened the mouth of the bag, and dumped the imp's bodies out onto a pyre of rock with a flat top that reached up from the nearly endless abyss below. She stepped away from the ledge in order to give her lusus space, and with a shimmer, it appeared, curled around the pyre that Takeri used to feed it.

It had a long, serpentine body, with padded paws that had wickedly sharp retractable claws. Its face was long and thin, with teeth even sharper than its claws. Takeri's lusus was an impressive, awe-inspiring sight, even to those it was about to snap up in its jaws, although its horns were two stubby, double tipped little things, just as Takeri's were.

Takeri was proud she got such an epic lusus. With its camouflage ability, it was the perfect ninja, but that didn't mean it was a meticulous eater. She averted her eyes as her lusus neared the imp bodies, and sighed a little as she heard the imps' bones crunching in the powerful jaws of her lusus.

After a small while, the crunching stopped, and heard only by carefully trained ears, the swipe of a tongue over scaled lips followed. Takeri looked back to her lusus, and seeing it was done, she took out the bag with the live imp. Then, with a small sigh, dumped the live imp out of its own bag and through the air toward the pyre, only to be snapped out of the air by the jaws of Takeri's lusus.

Mission accomplished, Takeri walked back toward the door and then turned to the left to a mini-teleporter. She places the toothpaste and toothbrush in the teleport vortex, where it floats until Takeri pushes the button marked 'MOUTH HYGIENIC PEDESTALS'. Takeri then walked over to a full-sized teleporter, entered her name, the password code, then stepped through to her room.

She prepared for the trip to the new area, grabbing a portable sleeping cocoon, some food, more ninja stars and knives, and eight high-ranged walkie-talkies. With a simple check over, Takeri finds she is ready to go, and starts up her teleporter. Once it is ready, she checks over her things, and then steps through to the destination.

~ ~ ~

Bon Bon was arguing with her housemate Lyra again that there were no such things as humans, and if there were, the possibility of actually meeting it and becoming marefriends with its hands would be all kinds of weird, awkward, and uncomfortable for all parties involved, when she suddenly felt really tired. It was as though she had run for three days straight, without eating, drinking, sleeping, or stopping for even a second.

"Oohh..." Bon Bon says, sitting her rump on the floor and nearly passing out, and she puts a hoof to her temple. Lyra is surprised by this action, and stops her rant about humans to ask, "Bon Bon? What's up?"

"Not my energy...." Bon Bon replies tiredly, then shakily gets up onto the couch and passes out.

"Uhm... okay, then." Lyra watches her housemate for awhile, then shakes herself and leaves Bon Bon to rest. "I wonder why that happened?" She mumbles to herself, then makes her self a sandwich and goes about on an otherwise normal day.

Author's Note

Hmm! That was a lot more writing than I thought I would write, but hey, have to explain Takeri's awesome in good enough detail. (ehehe...) I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and once I am done introducing all the Trolls I will show you guys a picture of all of them! I drew it a few weeks ago, and all, so yeah... But anyway, I will have an irregular update schedule due to school(Social life? Psh! ... ), so please don't expect a completely meticulous schedule. See you again soon!