Rob Ford was [internally debating] the superiority of Gangnam Style vs The Fox as he strolled benignly through Ponyville. He immediately stopped upon witnessing the foal-scarring sight of his arch-enemy, Flash Sentry Savior Of The Universe, kissing best pony: Twilight Sparkle. This terrible act was enough to send our hero into a righteous fury the likes of which none since Gandalf’s time have seen; his skin color changed to dark green and his eyes shone as brilliantly as the sun itself.

“RAAAAAGGH!” roared Robert T Ford III. He smashed the ground beneath him with his ridiculously large fists as ponies and two changelings ran away in terror, literally metaphorically screaming their heads off. As Flash Sentry Savior Of The Universe stared in shock, Shrek’s disciple ran down the street toward him, mercilessly smashing everything that got in his way. As he approached Flash Sentry Savior Of The Universe, he turned around half-tau radians, bent over, stretched his ass open goatse-style, and farted a stinky green onion directly at worst pony.

As the Chuckun Lord decimated Flash Sentry’s bowels, Twilight Sparkle could see that, without a doubt, she had found the bearer of the seventh HELEMENT OF ARMORY. All available signs pointed to this undeniable fact – even the sharp and pointless ones! He was majestically graceful with every rancid onion he farted; a mareilizer in every aspect. Even his devilishly angelic voice contributed to his beauty: “Hey, Flash fag! WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY? LEL!”.

⍀\/⌿

Elsewhere, Pinkamena Die-anne Π was having cupcake fun-tiemz with her best buddy Arnbow Dah. “I love you, Adolf Dashler!”.

Once upon a time, Ron Paul was happening in his office yet again. This caused much onion in his anus (eat onion heil Shrek). But Ron Paul was gay, so nobody cared. As a result, his colon imploded implodingly in prismatic rainbows, as if a colon had imploded somewhere. The door to his office, which was door-shaped and attached to one of his office’s walls, opened like an office door opening when an office door opens in an office. The carpet, shaped like a carpet and attached to the floor, carpeted like an office carpet carpeting when an office carpet carpets in an office.

As that previously-mentioned door opened, a mane-shaped mane, which was mane-colored, could be seen passing through the opening doorway (doorway shaped BTW). ARNBOW DAH entered enteringly as she entered through the doorway-shaped doorway-colored doorway. She had swastika-shaped Nazi swastikas branded over her ugly-ass cutie marks and was holding a red flag printed with Hitler’s face. She opened her huge pony mouth and yelled a yellishly yellow “HEIL CELERY!”.

Suddenly, a seal jumped in and shouted “Ha, Gaaæəy!”. Shrek then burst in holding an 18-year-old boy against his naked groin. “Check yourself before you Shrek yourself, eh lasseh?”. Then Shrek roared a mighty roar as he filled Ron Paul’s butt with onion-flavored love. When this ogrenes act was completed, he jumped out of the stained-glass window and left his teenager with that seal, who was dick-slamming into Ronny. “It’s all ogre now,” the teenaged boy said to the room.

Then the boy’s chest began to grow until a miniature Kanye popped out like a chestburster, except he was a dick with a face and screamed “AYYO RON, IMMA LET YOU FINISH. BUT WHERE DA WHITE WIMMIN AT?”

While all of this damn commotion was commoting on, a completely unrelated event was being eventful: Rainbow Dash had found the onion shack of destiny on her westward journey while traveling west. AS A RESULT, she was being sexed by Shrek’s hard shrock, which was pounding her pristinely plump pegasus pussy like there ain’t no yesterday.

In an alternate universe, a pimply brony typed “mysides.jpeg” on his laptop as he stared at this story and fapped furiously to it. And then everything was Shrek. <Is this text in green? < yes <these arrows should stay in the story <stay they shall. The stupid pimple brony articulated to no one: “Oh gawd ponies are so fucking sexy like holy shit man YOU DO NOT EVEN KNOW.”. “But Ponies are concerous!” one man said. “HÖRT IHR DEN BASS?” asked another. The first man responded respondingly: “Sorry, I don’t speak Nazi.”.

Pastor Ethesto chided the non-believer. “Cancer is a message from Celestia to tell you that she's tired of your shit. The troll of all diseases, cancer is also is a form of physiological retardation. After a pony does something stupid like smoke cigarettes or eat paint chips, little biological things in their body called cells start to act all freaky. Whereas the body is usually able to recognize old and decrepit cells and euthanize them properly, a cancer patient is like a nearsighted foal that can't see the difference between Jessica Marelba and a pig with lipstick, resulting in a situation where ugly and damaged cells that need to die simply don't get killed off. Instead, these gimpy cells reproduce by splitting into new retard baby cells, endlessly flooding a random body part. Once the body notices that a body part has been taken over by the cancer, it wisely attempts to remove itself from the gene pool by listening to Wrecking Ball on a permanent loop. This was also seen in changeling society, the instant Changeling Idol was introduced to TV. Thought and intelligence were suddenly flooded, raped, and thrown down into the dirt by all the retards that MTV usually maintains fairly well in a well-maintaining fashion. Soon, society will collapse when unable to decide who can do the best cover of a song from Le Lion King.” (Das Lion King is a fucking ripoff it’s Hamlet with lions. Heil Shakespeare.)

(Disclaimer: Smiles' immunity to all the rules not valid in all countries and districts. Consult your local laws. No purchases necessary. The administration team is not responsible for any injury or damage that results from Smiles. Use Smiles Responsibly.)

Author's Note

made with help from poop tickling trolls on Skype, including:
- Summit Cloud
- Smiles
- anyone else who helped