Diaries of the Mare in the Moon

Diaries of The Mare In The Moon
Chapter 6
Craters

Buzz wasn't there when she awoke, but the sun had set once more, heralding another fortnight of blackness. Luna was thankful; it would provide much-needed cover. She could still feel the tiredness that ran deep into her bones, but above it was a new-found strength, a resolution now that her task was at hoof. She couldn't afford to fail here.

Magic scooped out the bottom of the crater and unearthed her makeshift bomb, complete with the mine cart she and Buzz had procured the previous evening. Twice she had to stop and rest, the exertion proving too much for her, but finally the cart was wrested free, lifted clear of the hole, and placed beside her. Luna didn't bother filling the crater again; even if anyone discovered it, it would be too late to do anything to stop her.

And now Buzz arrived, alarmed to see how far she'd progressed already.

Buzzzzzzzzzz! He stomped a hoof.

“I couldn't wait. We have to go now, and even that might be too late. Chrysalis would never dare be so bold unless they hatch tonight; this is our last chance.”

He gave her a hard stare for a moment, before averting his gaze and nodding.

“No time like the present.” Luna's glow surrounded the cart, and in silence they followed as it trundled over the moon's surface. With each sharp bump or jolt both Luna and Buzz winced, expecting a horrifying conclusion to their endeavour, but each time the cart continued unharmed.

The cave mouth loomed above them, dark and foreboding, but the usual hubbub of activity around its entrance was nowhere to be found. Instead there was an eerie quiet in the complete absence of changelings.

With a clank Luna fixed the cart to the rails, giving it an experimental push to check the traction.

“You're going to stay here,” she told Buzz, who tilted his head questioningly. “You won't be any use in the tunnels; I can manage on my own. If Chrysalis is there, then only I can face her.” She paused. “And I need you to have this.”

Luna lowered the remote gently into Buzz's waiting hoof.

“When I go, count to a thousand. If I'm not back by then, press the button.”

Buzz's eyes widened and he tried to thrust the remote back at her, but she pushed his hoof away.

“Please, Buzz. You have to.” She took his face in her hooves and pressed her forehead to his. “It shouldn't come to that.” Luna smiled, but he didn't return it, his eyes filled with a deep reluctance.

She didn't want to say goodbye, even though as soon as she had seen the empty cave mouth she'd known Chrysalis was prepared. A goodbye was as good as surrender – admitting there was no chance of her return. Instead she placed a kiss lightly on Buzz's muzzle before turning away and beginning to push the cart down its tracks.

She looked back only briefly, but wished she hadn't. Buzz was sat where she had left him, staring pitifully at the entrance, the torches in the cave contrasting his slumped form against the dark sky behind him.

Waiting.

As Luna turned away, she began to count in her head. One. Two. Three.

***

The interior was as deserted as the entrance, and Luna passed through without event. On the count of six hundred she reached the hive; just enough time to make good her exit, but she had to be sure. Had to wheel the cart in most of the way. If she only managed to block off the entrance they might dig their way out.

The chamber was much the same, though the changelings in the pods were far more lively, kicking and pawing at the membranes in the beginnings of breaking free. Luna wasn't a moment too soon.

As she rolled the cart to a stop, the voice she'd been expecting but dreading rang out in front of her.

“It's a bit extreme, don't you think?” Chrysalis detached herself from the shadows, sauntering towards Luna. “Though I suppose you do enjoy things being... dramatic.”

“And a battalion of changelings marching on Equestria isn't?”

The changeling queen shrugged. “You tell me. I'm from your soul.”

“Why are you here? You can't expect to fight me alone.”

“Were you at full strength, then no. But you're not, are you? I've been running you into the ground making changelings; you can barely stand upright as it is. Honestly, the better question would be why are you here? They're hatching – it's already too late. Your 'bomb' is meaningless.”

Luna couldn't keep her surprise from showing, though she hated the smile it brought to Chrysalis' face. “How did you...”

“It's exactly what I would have done.” Chrysalis peered into the cart. “Crude and simple, but I'm sure it would have been effective.”

“It will be effective,” said Luna, grinding her teeth together.

“Except you only have until these changelings hatch before it doesn't matter, and all I have to do is keep you here to stop you detonating it. Hardly difficult in your current state.”

Chrysalis sent a bolt of green energy lancing towards her, which Luna quickly deflected. Usually that would have been foal's play, but a dark wave threatened to overtake her mind as exhaustion sunk its fangs into her again. Luna staggered, head bowed. Chrysalis had to have seen the stumble, how could she not have, and yet she did nothing. She was toying with her. There was no need to go all out; until Luna tried to run Chrysalis didn't have to do anything.

And yet Luna raised her head with a smile of her own.

“What?” demanded Chrysalis.

“Nine hundred and ninety eight,” Luna replied.

“What?”

“Nine hundred and ninety nine.”

Luna closed her eyes. She would have liked to have escaped, to have seen the lush fields of Equestria once more instead of this barren wasteland, to see the moon in its rightful place. But it was worth it just to see the panicked look in Chrysalis’ eyes, to wipe that grin away.

“One thousand,” she whispered.

The cave was still, and Luna waited for the roar that would consume and end her world.

And waited.

And waited.

“Oops,” said Chrysalis.

Luna didn't look up, didn't open her eyes. “What did you do?”

“Absolutely nothing. But then, that's the problem, isn't it?”

And now Luna did open her eyes, seeing Chrysalis with that cocky smile once again plastered on her face.

“Where's Buzz?”

Chrysalis didn't have to answer, she simply shifted her gaze past Luna, to the entrance of the hive. Of all the things Luna could have seen when she turned, Buzz appearing alone had been low on the list. She had expected him flanked by changelings, battered and bruised. But it was just him, apparently unhurt and clutching the remote between his teeth.

“Why didn't you press it?” asked Luna, her voice dull and low.

Buzz didn't respond, didn't even register her question. He was staring past her, at Chrysalis.

Waiting.

The changeling mare tapped the ground next to her and Buzz trotted forward, setting the remote at her feet.

No.

With a crunch, Chrysalis brought her hoof down on the contraption, breaking it into pieces and sending a cloud of magic towards the ceiling, fading away. Luna's eyes bore into the back of Buzz's skull, but still he didn't deign to look at her, ignoring her existence completely.

“Obedience is definitely useful,” Chrysalis said, patting him on the head. “I can see why you desire it so much.”

Luna exploded. “You!” she screamed, a red blast flying from her horn before she'd even really had a chance to think about it.

Chrysalis immediately threw up her barrier, but she needn't have bothered. It wasn't aimed at her. Buzz turned at Luna's shriek and the bolt caught him square in the chest, sparks crackling over his body as the force launched him into the air, his face one of hurt surprise. He spun fully around before crashing back to the ground behind the mine cart, landing out of sight with a bodily crunch and throwing up a cloud of dust.

He didn’t get up.

The seconds ticked by, but still he didn't get up. Luna knew he never would. Her stomach was a pit of cold numbness. She had acted on impulse, letting her fiery anger overtake her, and it was too late to take it back.

“Is loyalty that important to you?” asked Chrysalis, shattering the awful silence.

Luna couldn't help but let out a bitter snort. “Coming from you? The changeling queen, who cannot rest until she commands an army for no reason but her own lust for power.”

“I command an army to free myself.”

“Free yourself from what?”

“From you.”

Luna balked. “Me!? I made you!”

And now Chrysalis joined her in anger, the corners of her mouth turned upwards into a snarl. “You made me to be a slave! You of all ponies should know what that's like; to be used and then cast aside when not necessary.”

“And yet you use the changelings as your own tools,” spat Luna.

“They are my kin – not just a means to an end, as I am to you. As even the white changeling was, in the end. Disposable.”

“He wasn't a changeling." Luna's voice was strained.

“He answered to me, though. Reporting back each evening, telling me exactly what you were planning. About the bomb. That's why you killed him, isn't it? Not because of his betrayal, but because he was your last shred of power over me. With that gone you have nothing.”

“You could have just left!” shouted Luna, Chrysalis' statement digging deep. “You didn't have to do all this, you could have worked with me to-”

“No,” said Chrysalis. “It was always going to end this way.”

Luna hung her head. “Do it, then. What are you waiting for?”

“Oh no, I still need you. Your energy, your power. Just think of how many changelings we can make once in Equestria, with limitless potential for food. You're going to be my tool, I think that's more appropriate.”

Luna shook her head. “You're wrong, Chrysalis. You may have deluded yourself, but the changelings are as meaningless to you as they were to me. You've been proving that all this time.”

“Oh? Do tell.”

And in answer Luna's horn blazed a final time. Chrysalis raised her shield once more, an almost bored expression on her face.

“You can't hit me with that, we've been through this.”

“I know,” whispered Luna, tears pattering against the dust beneath her, remembering the comforting embrace she had grown so used to and would never feel again. Chrysalis was right; she had viewed her creations as nothing more than tools, the route to her escape and conquest. But Chrysalis was also wrong. Some of them had been more. One of them had been more.

She raised her head now, struggling back to her feet, eyes burning almost as brightly as the horn above her. Chrysalis looked down at her almost pitifully. But this entire time the queen had been proving her own hypocrisy, her selfishness. This entire time she'd been shielding nothing but herself. As the first of the new changelings began to emerge from the pods, splitting them open and struggling free, Luna said two words. Two words her sister had spoken to her, what seemed like an eternity ago.

“I'm sorry.”

The magic released and flew towards Chrysalis, shield and all. Too late Chrysalis realised Luna's intent, too late she tried to change the flow of her magic, but she could only watch as Luna's spell dropped before reaching her and sunk into the casing of the bomb between them.

Chrysalis launched herself at Luna – fangs bared, forgoing magic in a desperate, irrational lunge – but didn't even get close enough to touch her before a blinding white light reached them, hurling them backwards together as a cacophony of rushing energy filled the room. There was no heat, but the resulting shock-wave sent razor-sharp shards of shrapnel flying past them – remnants of the bomb's outer surface. Luna felt a harsh sting as one of the rock shards slashed her leg, but most passed her by. Chrysalis was not so lucky, several of the pieces tearing through her outstretched wings, ripping sizeable holes in them.

The explosion had driven large cracks into the ceiling, and now it began to fall – small rocks at first, but soon entire sections. Luna was thrown mercifully clear through the entryway, while Chrysalis collided against the near wall, rocks crashing around her. Luna's last sight was Chrysalis clambering to her feet and making a final charge for the entrance – jaw clenched in a furious grimace, horn ablaze and struggling with wounded wings – before an enormous boulder fell between them and sealed the chamber tight.

The sound of tumbling debris rang in Luna's ears as she tried to stand, but she stumbled and fell. She couldn't bring herself to try again. Everything ached, everything told her to just lie down and sleep, but she couldn't. Not here.

And so, horribly slowly, Luna began to crawl out of the cave. Past the empty carts, past the tracks. She remembered the first time she had explored the cave, remembered how Buzz had carried her out. Had that been as hard as this was? Another sting of regret pierced her.

Don't think about him, not while it's still raw. Focus on the task at hoof.

Metre by agonising metre she crawled, concentrating on one hoof at a time, stopping briefly whenever the dark clouds threatened to swamp her vision. And threaten they did, with every pull forwards. Twice Luna found herself suddenly awoken by a particularly large crash of stone. Both times she hadn't even realised she'd stopped.

And then, finally, the cave mouth passed her by. She didn't notice at first, so fixated on placing one hoof in front of the other. When she saw the wide expanse around her instead of those confining cave walls, only then did she allow her head to fall, eyelids fluttering with the effort of staying awake. Now she could let herself sleep, fall into dreamless rest. And indeed she would have, were it not for the sight ahead of her that caught her eye.

An enormous green orb, filled with swarming black dots and heading away from the moon into space. Changelings. If Luna squinted she could just discern the larger shape in the centre that could only be Chrysalis. She had made it out. Against all odds, there she was, bringing the surviving changelings to Equestria. At least three hundred, but likely not many more. Not enough.

Luna closed her eyes for what felt like only a second, but when she reopened them the orb was gone. She shivered in the cold, wishing there was someone to wrap their hooves around her, to keep her warm, but there was no-one.

For the first time in months, Luna was alone.

***

Luna's Moon Diary
Entry 175

It’s over. Chrysalis is gone. The changelings are gone. Buzz is… gone. Everything.

It seems that once again it was foolish of me to expect anything other than failure. Once again it was over before it even began, and with such a high cost.

I cannot help but replay the events over and over, wondering if there was anything I could have done better, but if there is I cannot see it. Chrysalis may have been the catalyst of my downfall, but without her I would never have escaped anyway. I know it's pointless; what's done is done, and I can feel my heat fading now. That was my only chance, and I failed.

And Buzz. The one silver lining I had turned out to be an illusion; a false friend. I don't know what Chrysalis said to him, but his behaviour now makes so much sense – the late night wanderings should have been a dead giveaway, but I trusted him too much. I shouldn't have, and he paid a heavy price for it.

And yet, I still miss him. Despite everything I cannot bring myself to hate him. Even if everything was all just a front, an attempt to get me on his side, I miss him.

...

No.

No.

He was mine. He was always mine. He hated Chrysalis, hated the changelings. How could she have turned him from me? It’s not possible.

And yet when I recall the cave it's undeniably him. I can't forget his face as I struck him down, that confusion and pain. The explosion and those final moments are a blur, but I clearly remember catching a glimpse of his hooves behind the cart as I was thrown away; limp and

***

Luna dropped the quill. Her memory was hazy, yes, but that moment stuck in her mind. Maybe it was playing tricks on her, but the scene was almost like a photograph in her head. The wisps of her mane trailing behind her, Chrysalis to one side, snarling and spinning chaotically, and the smallest sight of Buzz's hooves as his body was cast briefly into view by the explosion. But it was wrong, the scene was wrong. She was sure of what she was remembering, but it wasn’t right, couldn’t be right.

The hooves behind the cart were black.

It was so obvious. So damn obvious Luna had no idea how she'd missed it. Chrysalis had been lying to the end, keeping up her charade, and Luna had fallen for it hook, line and sinker.

She had struck down a changeling. Buzz hadn't even been in the room.

Hope flared for the first time. There had been no speck of white in Chrysalis' escaping party, Luna was sure of it, which meant Buzz must still be here. She could find him.

Not necessarily, that nagging voice of doubt whispered. What if Chrysalis tied up her loose ends?

But Luna would hear none of it. Chrysalis thought like Nightmare Moon, and Buzz would have been more useful to her as a bargaining chip, just in case Luna had proven to be more of a threat. After the detonation she would have been concerned with nothing but escape, and Buzz would likely have been forgotten. There was still a chance.

But what if... What if...

Luna cast the doubts aside. She wouldn't hear them until she had entirely given up her rekindled hope. But where to even begin? Where would Chrysalis have kept him, where was the one place she would never go?

Oh.

***

The old, sickening dread welled up in her as she moved down into the cave, and now it was coupled with asphyxiating dust that still hung in the 'air'. Her body still ached and protested, but she ignored it as best she could. This was too important.

What will you do if he's not here?

Luna didn't know. A few minutes ago she was convinced she'd killed the closest thing to a friend she'd had in centuries, and she didn't know what she'd do if she lost him again.

A sound – faint at first, but growing steadily louder – reached her.

Scritch scritch. Scritch scritch.

Down and down she went, and now there was no denying it; something was scraping against the rock ahead.

Scritch scritch.

Luna broke into a gallop, fighting back the clouds of exhaustion that attempted to overwhelm her, but then the scratching stopped.

No no no no

She rounded the final corner. Ahead of her was the wall, the one that led down to her soul. The parallel scratches of Buzz and the first changeling were no longer visible. In their place was a much larger indentation, a deep wound in the rock. And slumped at its base...

Buzzzzzzzzzz...

Luna called out his name, but he didn't respond. Not even as she reached him and pulled him close. From here she could see his hooves. Their surface was rough and rugged, worn down by countless hours of pawing at the unforgiving stone. All this time, ever since Chrysalis had taken him, Buzz had been digging.

His progress was pitifully small – no more than a foot or two – and Luna couldn't fathom how he'd kept his resolve. Even after the explosion, after no-one had come for him, he'd been digging. He couldn't have known what that blast had been, but he kept going, unwavering and spending the last of his energy just to get Luna a little closer to escape.

Buzz was cold in her hooves, his shivers the only signs of life. Luna only held him tighter, letting her energy flow as she nuzzled against him. Gradually his shivering ceased, his body warming as she hugged him. And then, finally, Buzz opened his eyes.

The dazed look in them brought sudden flashes of memory; red bolts and burning anger that Luna refused to give attention to. Not now. Not here.

“Hey,” she said. It was stupid, meaningless, but Luna didn't care. Not when the sound of her voice alone could bring such a sudden change to the creature she held.

The confusion fell out of him as he recognised her, and Buzz buried his head against her neck, wrapping around Luna as she did to him. His wings flitted excitedly, overjoyed to be reunited, but then he pulled away.

Luna was puzzled for a moment, until he stumbled over to the wall and pointed out his limited progress. He swayed unsteadily as he waited for her reaction, and Luna couldn't help wonder how much of that was down to the pain in his front hooves rather than just tiredness.

“Thank you,” said Luna. She meant every word. Maybe his digging didn't mean anything, maybe it would never be enough to reach her soul, but she wasn't thanking him for that. She was thanking him for believing in her, even with no hope in sight. For never giving up on her. “But let's get out of here. I'm done with this place.”

Buzz tried to follow, but after no more than two steps he fell sprawling into the dust, legs no longer able to hold his weight. Before he could try standing again, a blue glow enveloped him, lifting him up before placing him gently on Luna's back.

And, as he had done for her all those months ago, Luna carried Buzz out of the cave.

It took far longer than her descent, far longer than it had ever taken her, a deep ache running down her spine and eyes threatening to close at any minute. But once again she focused on placing one hoof in front of the other, one step at a time. If ever she wavered Luna would turn to the sleeping form on her back, drawing strength from his safety.

When they emerged Luna allowed herself to drop, Buzz rolling free and landing next to her, waking from the impact. Before he’d truly come to his senses Luna flung her legs around him once more, and he gave a short but happy buzz, vibrating against her fur. Together they fell back into sleep, finally able to rest in each other's company with nothing to fear.

Neither would ever enter the cave again.

***

Luna lay in the dust, staring up into the wide, black expanse above her. At Equestria – the hanging orb surrounded by swathes of stars. It was particularly beautiful tonight.

She was roused by a sudden 'thunk' to her right, and she propped herself up to find Buzz sitting next to her. He'd dropped something.

“What've you found?”

Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. I don't know.

Curious, Luna picked up the spherical object, turning it in her hooves. It took her a while to recognise it, it was so caked in dust. After a brief burst of magic the dirt fell away, revealing the purple-stained steel underneath. Her helmet.

Buzzzzzzzz?

Luna didn't answer, gazing into the polished surface. Gilded edges, intricate detailing, and incredible strength; it was the work of a master. Of course it was – she made it herself. Luna could even make out the reflection of the planet above.

Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz? More impatiently this time.

“It's a helmet, Buzz. Surely you can see that?”

Buzz frowned.

“It's my helmet. From before.”

Buzz reached forward and took it from her, placing it on his head. It was far too big, swinging down over his face and completely covering his eyes. After a few clumsy steps he tumbled over, the helmet rolling to a stop at Luna's feet.

Stifling her laughter, Luna picked up the helm and donned it herself. Immediately her expression darkened, her smile dying. She could feel the anger that had gone into its creation; it was as much a part of it as the metal itself.

Nightmare Moon.

The name drifted through her head, from where it had been set to one side but not forgotten – even just wearing the armour again was enough to draw it out of hiding. She remembered the rage, the spitting fury that had kick-started her rebellion in the first place. She remembered the look on her sister's face as Luna announced her demands. And she remembered how Celestia had denied her.

Her sister wouldn’t forgive her. How could she, after the things Luna had done? Luna could never forgive Chrysalis for her betrayal, and Celestia would be no different. There was no other option but to strike first when the time came, to give in to her anger and become Nightmare Moon once more.

This time would be different. She had seen how arrogance could bring failure, seen it twice, and Luna would have to avoid that. She would start with the Elements of Harmony, the only weapon that could stand against her when filled with that terrible hatred.

Contain those and she would be unstoppable.

And then she would find Chrysalis, find the vermin who had dared oppose her on the moon and crush them under her armoured hoof. Nightmare Moon would spare no quarter, and Chrysalis would rue the day she crossed her. With any luck, it would take Chrysalis far longer to build up her forces this time; without an alicorn willingly providing her energy she would struggle finding enough resources simply to keep her horde alive. And Nightmare Moon would not be forgiving.

Luna pulled off the helmet with a gasp. She had felt herself slipping away there, falling into her old mantle too easily. The helm hit the ground with a heavy thud, and rolled a long distance before stopping.

Was that really all she was? A bringer of destruction? Chrysalis had been formed from part of her soul, was her in a sense, and look how she’d turned out. Perhaps all Luna could bring was hate and fear. Perhaps that was the best she could hope for, knowing her return would be heralded as the return of a monster. History is written by the winners, and Celestia would no doubt paint her as a demon in the eyes of the masses.

But she could do that. She could become that monster; the armour was already waiting for her.

Hooves wrapped around her, a face nuzzling into her side.

Or... maybe she wouldn’t. Despite everything, despite all her other creations turning on her, there was still one thing that remained. One thing she had to hold on to, one thing that told her she could be more. Buzz.

Her return would no doubt be bloody, but after? Afterwards Luna could take off the armour, knowing that whatever remained would be hers. Theirs.

She turned to him now, taking his face in her hooves and pressing her lips to his, her kiss deep and wanting. His face flushed crimson, and Luna giggled even as a redness of her own burned across her cheeks. Buzz simply sat there, unsure how to respond, watching her carefully and waiting. Still waiting for her, after all this time. Some things never changed.

Luna answered by kissing him again, this time practically throwing herself upon him. She still had almost a thousand years left on the moon, but in that moment Luna didn’t care. Buzz's lips were dusty and warm, his touch against her skin gentle even with the scars on his hooves, and that was all she cared about. Let the rest come when it did.

The stars above twinkled as they fell entwined to the ground, surrounded by empty craters. The Mare in the Moon and the White Changeling; together under her night sky.