Old Friendsby GrassAndClouds2ChaptersReunionRaceRomanceRemissionReturnRepastReunionCheerilee was trying to explain to Truffle Shuffle why you couldn't grow apples with peanut butter and honey already on them when she heard a commotion starting behind her. Turning, she saw Alula shrinking under her wings while Diamond Tiara laughed. Her again... Cheerilee trotted up to them. "Diamond Tiara," she said. "You've made your classmate very sad. Apologize." Diamond Tiara sighed melodramatically. “Alula, I’m sorry.” “... for?” prompted Cheerilee. “For saying that you won’t be able to get a job when you’re older, because you can only be a princess and that job’s already taken.” “I don’t want to be a princess,” murmured Alula. “Maybe I could just make pots.” “Do they let princesses make pots?” wondered Scootaloo. “I bet Luna could make some awesome pots.” “Luna can do whatever she wants!” said Beebop. “She’s the princess. She could stand on her head all day and nopony could stop her. Or roll around with bugs and worms!” Snails’ eyes widened. “Oh! Now I want to be royalty!” Diamond Tiara opened her mouth, presumably to make another smart remark, but a glare from Cheerilee shut that down quickly. “Why wouldn’t you want to be a princess?” asked Sweetie Belle. “Wouldn’t it be cool for everything you did to be really important? You could set, like...” She seemed to be trying to think of the most important thing in the world. “Fashion trends!” Alula shrugged. “But I like pots. And it’d be fun to know that a whole lot of ponies were eating on plates that I made.” “But if you were the princess, you could conjure pots out of thin air!” said Sweetie Belle. “But... I like making them myself.” Alula smiled. “Dad got me some real high quality clay for my birthday. That was a lot of fun!” Dinky was helping Snails remove his turban, which had somehow gotten stuck. Cheerilee noted that it at least wasn’t on fire, which was an improvement over last weekend. “What do you want to be when you grow up, everypony?” Dinky asked. “Entymologist!” said Snails. “Fashion designer like my big sister!” said Sweetie Belle. “I’m gonna be a great musician!” screamed Beebop. “Everypony’ll listen to me! I’ll be in every concert hall!” “As the janitor,” whispered Silver Spoon, and she and her friend laughed. “Silver Spoon!” snapped Cheerilee. “I,” said Scootaloo, butting in, “Am gonna be an awesome Night Guard! Just like Mom!” She grinned. “I’ll keep ponies safe from all kinds of threats! I’ll make sure they’re all safe and happy!” “You can’t make sure everypony’s happy,” said Diamond Tiara. “There’s too many ponies.” “As many as I can then.” Scootaloo paused. “That’s what Mom did. I talked to some of the Night Guards that knew her after we all got lost in Canterlot a few months ago, and they said that she wasn’t just really brave at fighting off monsters, but she was always helping whenever another Guard or a castle pony was in trouble. Even if they were just sick.” “That’s a very good model for you to aspire to be like,” said Cheerile. “And I--” “Miss Cheerilee! Miss Cheerilee!” Cheerilee looked up and saw Apple Bloom approaching, with a vaguely familiar mare following her. Haven’t I seen her somewhere before? “Miss Cheerilee! This is Natalia Rye... uh... Notary! She said she’s an old friend of yours who wants ta chat!” Notary slowed as she looked at Cheerilee. “Blackcherry,” she said, her voice thick and tense. Cheerilee blinked. “Natalia?” Her eyes widened. “From... from the Oats and Stoats Dormitory?” Notary nodded slightly. Cheerilee stared for a moment, then turned to her class. “Class, this is my college roommate, Miss Notary.” She looked back at Notary. “What brings you to Ponyville? It’s been so long.” “I just wanted to catch up with an old friend,” said Notary. “May I borrow you for a few moments?” Cheerilee frowned in thought. “Of course...” she said, as she traced her memories back. She’d lost touch with Notary after college, as they'd both gone off on their own paths. They hadn't seen or written each other since then. Cheerilee had tried to resume contact with her more recently, after the whole mess in Oaten, but there had been some problem that she couldn’t quite remember that had prevented her from doing so... The teacher shook her head. That answer could wait. “Class, I’m going to go talk with Miss Notary for a little bit. Do you think you can handle yourselves?" “Yes, Miss Cheerilee!” they chorused. Cheerilee inclined her head at Notary. “The schoolhouse is just a block or so away. Shall we?” Notary nodded gravely. “Of course.” *** “Wow!” said Sweetie Belle. “Miss Cheerilee has an old friend!” “She looked funny,” said Silver Spoon. “Her coat was all white. Like Corona.” She shuddered. "Hey! My sister's coat is all white!" Sweetie Belle scowled. "And she's not like Corona at all!" “But her mane was white too,” said Featherweight. “And she had a really cool accent! She sounded like a spy! I read somewhere that ponies with accents like that were Rushian, and everypony knows there's a lot of Rushian spies!” Snips gasped. “Maybe she’s here to spy on us foals!” “Or maybe she’s going to spy on Miss Cheerilee!” said Beebop. “We should do something!” “Wait,” said Dinky. “Maybe she’s really just an old friend.” She grinned. “We should get Pinkie Pie! She’ll want to throw a big party!” “But we can’t throw her a party if she’s a spy,” protested Featherweight. Dinky frowned. “Miss Cheerilee trusts her, so we should too. Miss Cheerilee's a really smart pony!” Scootaloo hopped up on a convenient tree stump. “Alright. Here’s what we’ll do,” she said, her little voice rattling out orders with the confidence of a general. “We’ll follow her! If Miss Notary’s a real friend, we’ll help Pinkie Pie throw the best reunion party ever! And if she’s a secret spy, we’ll get Trixie and the other knights!” “Yay!” said Sweetie Belle. “Wait!” said Dinky, as all the foals -- even an unusually interested Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon -- began to follow Scootaloo. “My Momma says it’s wrong to spy on ponies.” “We’re not spying. We’re just... checking her out! It’s called wrecking tents!” said Scootaloo. “Reconnaissance,” corrected Twist. “Whatever. But we all love Miss Cheerilee. We need to help protect her!” Dinky paused. She did care a lot for her teacher... “Besides,” said Sweetie Belle. “Rarity says there’s nothing wrong with a little eavesdropping. She says that’s how all the great romances got started.” Dinky still felt uneasy, but she couldn’t deny her own curiosity. Besides, if Miss Cheerilee really needed help, Dinky wanted to be there, just like Miss Cheerilee had been there to save them all from Corona and Grogar and the other monsters. “Okay--” “Then let’s go!” yelled Scootaloo, and the foals took off at a run. *** “Still like your coffee black?” asked Cheerilee, as she poured a fresh mug. “Da.” Notary took the mug. “You’ve been well.” “I suppose. Good town, good friends, a job I love, and now I’m a Bearer of an Element of Harmony.” Cheerilee grinned. “Didn’t see that one coming back in college.” “I have to admit, of all the Elements... Laughter probably does suit you best.” Cheerilee raised her own coffee mug. “Thank you! And yourself? What do you do now?” “I am between jobs,” said Notary. She paused, then with a noticeable effort, continued. “But I have resources saved up... you need not worry.” Cheerilee nodded. “Not that I’m not pleased to see you, but what brings you here?” Notary’s eyes narrowed slightly. “Something from our college days.” “You’ll need to be more specific.” “Cider was involved--” “That doesn’t narrow it down much,” joked Cheerilee. Notary frowned. “Right, right.” Cheerilee chuckled. “You were always so serious. What’s up?” “Do you remember,” said Notary, softly, “Our trip to Neigh Orleans for the Summer Sun Celebration?” *** Cheerilee opened the dormitory door and hopped inside, singing merrily. “Oh, ponies and wine, ponies and wine, they go together like mud and swine! Ponies and--” Notary looked up from her desk. Her face had a few lines on it; Cheerilee didn’t think she’d slept much that week. “Blackcherry...” she said, in an exasperated tone. “Right, right. You’re studying.” Cheerilee dropped her books on her bed and stretched. “But it’s almost midsummer! It’s a university holiday, what’s left to study?” “My own special projects.” Notary flipped a page. “I want to learn as much, and as many skills, as I can. That’s what matters.” Cheerilee smiled. “Are you just jealous that I got better grades than you?” “By one-one hundredth of a point!” said Notary, instantly. “And that professor was confused. He didn’t understand my literary allusions or my use of allegorical imagery--” “Hey, hey. Come on. We both got straight A’s. We should celebrate.” Cheerilee moved over and flopped onto Notary’s bed. “Seriously. You’re gonna burn yourself out if you keep going like this.” “Your concern is touching, but I can take care of myself. I want to change the world someday. I have no time for idleness.” Cheerilee propped herself up so her muzzle rested on Notary’s desk, at eye-level with her book (which seemed to be a set of architectural plans). “You got A’s. You should celebrate,” she urged. “Let’s go party.” “For the last time, no. I am not at college to party.” Notary put a hoof to her head. “Blackcherry... I don’t object when you go to your clubs. I accept you have different priorities. Please do not protest my own.” Cheerilee frowned. Did her roommate do anything but study? Didn’t she ever have fun? There had to be something she could do to help show this Rushian mare more of the fun side of life... “I’ll make you a deal,” she said. Notary looked at her. “I’m going to Neigh Orleans for the Summer Sun Celebration. Come with. I’ll show you the best party in Equestria. If you’re still not interested in parties? I won’t bug you about them again.” Notary paused. “I don’t know...” “Look, you always say you want to learn everything you might need to know. Summer Sun is one of the biggest events in the country. You should go -- if only to learn about it, right?” Notary looked at her book. And then her eyes darted to her grade sheet, with its row of A’s. “I suppose... I mean, I did accomplish all my goals this term... and I did want to research Summer Sun...” “That’s the spirit. I’ll handle hotels, reservations, everything. I’ll watch out for you.” Cheerilee grinned. “And we are gonna have a great time.” Notary looked a bit skeptical, but nodded. “Alright, Blackcherry. But I should warn you, I still don’t plan on engaging in these... drunken excesses.” *** “WOOOOO!” screamed the two mares. Cheerilee grinned. Notary had been uptight for a few hours, but she’d finally loosened up when they’d found a place that sold genuine Moscolt vodka. And it was good -- fiery and strong, Cheerilee would have to look into a Canterlot supplier when she returned. Anyway, since then, Notary had been a lot more easygoing. They had cruised all over the city, dancing, parading, partying, and in general having a blast. The liquor flowed freely, as did the food, and while Notary seemed uninterested in stallions, Cheerilee already had a saddlebag full of addresses. Everywhere she turned, there was more fun to be had. It was the greatest party ever. “Look!” said Notary, and then rattled off several sentences in Rushian. “What?” asked Cheerilee. “That establishment is selling jambalaya for only two bits to a plate! That’s vastly more cost-efficient than any other restaurant we have seen!” said Notary. The Rushian certainly was, Cheerilee had noted, a verbose drunk. “If we purchase our desired quantities of jambalaya there, we can retain more money for... for...” “Cider?” offered Cheerilee. “Exactly! Besides, we are far too intoxicated to notice if it tastes bad anyway.” “A valid point!” Cheerilee gestured. “Jambalaya, here we come!” “WOOOOOOOO!” *** Cheerilee giggled at the memories. “We certainly had fun back then.” “Mmm.” Notary’s expression was unchanging. “Blackcherry. The last thing we did that day before stopping for the night. I sincerely hope you haven’t forgotten.” “Well, it’s been a while.” Cheerilee paused. “And I was very drunk.” “I do not forget things, even when drunk. I remember all of it." Cheerilee frowned. What was her old roommate driving at? She cast her thoughts back again. *** "I'm hungry," announced Cheerilee. She and her roommate were covered in bead necklaces, to the point where they were tiring to carry around. Therefore, Cheerilee drunkenly concluded, they needed to get their strength up. And some genuine Neigh Orleans cuisine would hit the spot. "There!" said Notary, gesturing with a wobbling hoof at a small restaurant with a faux-chapel attached to the roof. "Only eight bits for all-you-can-eat buffet!" Cheerilee approached the restaurant, her eyes flickering over the sign. "Hey! If we pay three more bits each, they throw in a free wedding!" "That is..." Notary blinked a few times. "Remarkably cost-effective! Weddings usually cost thousands of bits, but they are selling them for only eleven!" "And we'd look adorable in wedding dresses!" added Cheerilee. "It'll be fun!" But, as the two approached the restaurant/chapel, Notary's steps became confused. "Will it... count?" “What, permanently? Nah. Nothing that happens during Summer Sun counts. What happens in Neigh Orlenas stays in Neigh Orleans! Now come on!” Cheerilee led Notary towards the reception hall. “It says they have wedding dresses and funny little hats, and flowers too! And the buffet has real cherimoyas! I love cherimoyas!” “Flowers?” Notary giggled at that, her objections forgotten. “We can plant flowers all over the city! And water them with the finest Neigh Orleans cider!” “Would that work?” “I am far too inebriated to adequately analyze that question!” “...okay, sure.” *** “Oh, right! The wedding.” Cheerilee paused. She had a bad feeling. “Uh. Did it count?” “What, permanently?” echoed Notary. “Yes.” She slapped a paper down on the desk from her saddlebag. “I was setting my affairs in order before returning to Moscolt. I requisitioned all relevant records from the appropriate Canterlot offices. And I was surprised to note that, legally, I am registered as being married to you!” Cheerilee blinked. She’d seen Notary angry before, though usually not at her. It was not something she relished. “Wait... wait a minute. The next day, before we left. You had me get that annulled...” *** “Hmph. Throwing a fit... it’s just a silly marriage anyway. Who cares?” Cheerilee frowned. It was the day after Summer Sun, and Neigh Orleans was asleep. It was just Cheerilee on the streets. Well, her and all the garbage. “See if I take her to parties anymore... how’d she even remember it? She drank almost as much as me! Stupid eidetic memory,” muttered Cheerilee. "Now I have to get it fixed when I've got this pounding hangover... that annoying little--" “I’m sorry?” Cheerilee turned to see a very handsome stallion sweeping in front of his shop. Judging from his clothing and his anvil-shaped cutie mark, he was a blacksmith. Judging from his muscles, he was just Cheerilee’s type. “Oh! Sorry, I didn’t mean you. Guest I brought along.” Cheerilee smiled. “How are you?” “Eh. Doing okay, I guess. Day after Summer Sun’s always a drag.” “I could help liven it up,” said Cheerilee, eyes twinkling. The stallion blinked, then smiled. “Well... alright then. Want some cider?” *** “Did you take care of it?” Notary asked, as soon as Cheerilee returned. “You were gone a long time.” Cheerilee smiled tipsily. Had she been supposed to take care of something? Well, it was Summer Sun and they didn’t have school or work, so it couldn’t be very important, whatever it was. Best to just keep Notary happy. “Yep!” said Cheerilee. *** “Well,” said Cheerilee. “I was going to, but there was this stallion...” Notary stared. “You failed to get the annullment.” “Er...” “The one thing I asked you to do, after you specifically said you would watch out for me in Neigh Orleans. You failed to get it...” “But--” “Because you were cheating on me...” “You see--” “Your wife, of a few hours...” “Well--” “With the first stallion you met?” Cheerilee thought of saying many things. She debated bringing up how polygamy was legal in Equestria, so their being married (in a technical sense) wouldn't prevent them from marrying somepony they actually loved. She considered mentioning how neither of them had ever attempted to invoke any marital rights, such as tax benefits, so the marriage hadn't actually impacted them at all, nor would it in the future. There was also the point that the marriage could easily be dissolved by both of them signing a declaration to that effect and filing it in Canterlot. She even thought about pointing out that Equestrian law considered marriages annulled by default if the two ponies involved were separated for certain lengths of time and by certain distances, so the marriage, in addition to being functionally meaningless, might not even exist anymore. But then she looked at Notary’s gritted teeth, her blazing eyes, and then the little divots Notary’s hooves were digging into the desk. And she remembered something else from her college days. *** Cheerilee came back into her room, books balanced on her back, to find a pony trapped and struggling in a net attached to the ceiling. "Um." "Let me out of here!" the pony complained. Cheerilee recognized him as the captain of the dormitory's hoofball team, a lecherous and annoying jock. "Your roommate's nuts!" Cheerilee blinked and turned to her roommate, who was working at her desk like always. "He tried to steal my homework," Notary said. "Hey! Coach says if I don't get my grades up, I'm off the team! And everypony knows you're a total egghead!" Notary finally looked up, eyes blazing. In a growl, she repeated, "You tried. To steal. My homework." Cheerilee made a quick decision. "I'll come back later," she said, then shut the door and walked away. And, as she left, she muttered to herself: "Note to self. Don't make her mad." *** It was time, Cheerilee knew, to make another quick decision. “Well,” she said, in a jaunty voice, “There’s a very good explanation for all of that, Natalia.” And then she ran for her life. *** Outside, under the window, the foals were busily chattering. “Married!” said Sweetie Belle, turning the word into a song. “Miss Cheerilee is married! This is so great!” “Yay!” echoed Apple Bloom. “Ah always knew she’d find herself an awesome special somepony!” “We’ve gotta tell Pinkie Pie!” said Scootaloo. “Two wives meeting each other after so long? That’s gotta be worth a huge party!” “I wonder how Miss Cheerilee didn’t know?” mused Featherweight. “I wouldn’t think you’d forget something like that.” “Who cares?” said Sweetie Belle. “Oh, I know! We can help set up a honeymoon for them right here in Ponyville!” She grinned. “Half of us can make the honey, and the other half can build a fake moon for them to eat it on!” “I don’t think that’s how it works,” said Twist. Dinky had managed to keep listening at the window. “Wait!” she said. “They sound mad at each other. Or at least, Miss Notary sounds mad.” “Mad?” wondered Scootaloo. “They’re married. They can’t be mad at each other. That's not allowed!” “Yeah,” said Sweetie Belle. “That can’t happen--” Cheerilee blasted out the doors at a dead run. “Hi class! Bye class!” she said as she tore past them. Notary jumped through the doors a moment later, saddlebag spilling off her side. “Get back here! I am not done with you!” she yelled, giving chase. The foals stared as Notary proceeded to chase Cheerilee around the school lot, running circles around them. Every time Cheerilee sped up, Notary did too. The foals’ eyes began to swim trying to keep up with it. "Scootaloo!" Cheerilee called suddenly. "Can I borrow your scooter?" Scootaloo blinked. "Uh, sure--" “Greatthanksbye!” Cheerilee suddenly turned at an angle and raced for the gate. “Stop!” yelled Notary. Cheerilee reached the schoolyard gate, then jumped.and landed on the scooter Scootaloo had left there. With a mighty kick, she zipped away. Notary skidded to a halt, glaring. “That...” she hissed. “I will follow you, Cheerilee! I will follow you to the ends of the earth!” "But you can't follow her!" Silver Spoon snarked. "You don't have any wheels to--" “HI!” Notary, as well as the foals, turned to see a large pink pony rolling towards them on a big wagon. “Hi Pinkie!” said Snails. “Oh! You brought your party wagon! Yay!” “You said you didn't want to stay in Sugar Cube Corner in party,” said Pinkie to Notary. “So I thought I'd bring the party to you! Besides, nothing gives new ponies more fun than my party wagon!” Notary paused. “Fun? You want me to have fun?” “Yes! It’s my special talent, and--” Notary considered for a moment. “I would find it fun, then, if you allowed me to borrow your wagon.” “Well... okay! Here you go!” She shoved it over towards the white-coated mare. Notary hopped on and kicked off, and soon was pursuing Cheerilee into the distance. The foals could only stare. *** "Blackcherry! You cannot get away!" Cheerilee risked a glance behind her and saw her college roommate chasing her on Pinkie Pie's party wagon. Uh oh. That thing has cake canons! And other artillery! I need to hide! She banked around a corner, but Notary followed. She seemed to be as fast as Cheerilee, and she was starting to gain. No fair! thought Cheerilee. This was supposed to be a peaceful day! I didn't want to have to deal with my nutty college roommate! Dang it. How could this get any worse? *** "So it's settled!" Scootaloo yelled. "We are going to get Miss Cheerilee and Miss Notary back together!" "YAY!" cheered the foals. Dinky alone seemed skeptical. "Didn't she ask us not to interfere in her love life after Hearts and Hooves Day?" "No, she asked us not to find her a new Special Somepony. This is an old Special Somepony," said Scootaloo. "Totally different." "Yeah!" said Sweetie Belle. “Besides, Miss Cheerilee and Miss Notary looked really mad at each other!” “Miss Notary looked furious!” said Beebop. She frowned. “But married ponies aren’t supposed to be angry at each other...” “It’s terrible!” said Apple Bloom. “What if Notary leaves again, and Miss Cheerilee doesn’t have her special somepony?” “We’ve got to do something!” said Sweetie Belle. "You bet!" said Scootaloo. “Okay, everypony! We need to get those two to love each other again, so we’re going to... make the best date in the world for them! Apple Bloom and Twist, get some romantic food! Beebop, make some romantic music! Sweetie Belle, get some romantic picnic cloths from your sister! Alula, get some heart-shaped ceramic plates! Firelock! Uh... don't set them on fire! Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon--” “We’ll get silverware, jewelry, and other accessories,” said Diamond Tiara. “We will?” asked Silver Spoon. Diamond Tiara nodded. “I’ll explain on the way,” she muttered. “The rest of us can guide them to the picnic once we’re ready,” said Scootaloo. “Okay? Everypony ready?” A dozen foals all nodded at each other. “Let’s move out! Operation... uh... Operation Notilee is a go!” Author's Note I foresee a rough day for Ponyville. The foals are on a mission, after all. Cheerilee's 'marriage' is, as she thinks to herself, functionally meaningless (and might not even exist any longer, depending on Equestria common-law separations and such.) Notary seems to be mad more about the principle of the thing... and Cheerilee just wants to run away. Let's watch and see how that goes! RaceWhile Blackcherry Lee Punch did not like to brag, she would -- if asked -- concede that she was a rather athletic mare. She was a proficient martial artist, a relatively fast runner -- she had placed seventh in last year's Running of the Leaves -- and strong enough to assist her friends when they needed her help with, say, moving a large rock out of a new farm field. Certainly several of the Elements' enemies had learned, to their misfortune, that Cheerilee was a force to be reckoned with; even the goons of the Manehattan mafia had found that out when they had tried to abduct Dinky. Yes, Cheerilee was a strong and powerful mare. And yet she could not break away from Notary. Cheerilee risked a glance back, and saw her angry ex-roommate -- and, apparently, current wife -- in hot pursuit. This isn’t fair! she complained to herself. Marriages shouldn’t count if you’re drunk! That’s it, I’m asking Trixie to have Luna make that a law. We can call it the 'What Happens in Neigh Orleans at Summer Sun Stays There' law. But it was what it was, and Cheerilee had to find a place to hide from her vengeful spouse. The teacher looked around, and saw that she was coming back up on the shop-heavy portion of town. She wove around bystanders as she scooted along, silently thankful for her various youthful hijinks that had given her such accurate high-speed reflexes, and looked for a place to hole up for a short while. There was the Quill and Sofa Emporium (but the shop floor was too open), Sugar Cube Corner (but Red Onion was having a birthday party there), Bonbon's Confectionarium... Yes! I can hide in Bonbon's! Cheerilee banked around a corner so Notary wouldn’t be able to see her for a moment, then skidded to a stop. Ignoring the stares from a few passing ponies, she tucked the scooter under her arm and hurried into the store. “Hi!” she hissed as she entered. Bonbon looked up from her counter, where she was busily preparing a large ice cream sundae for Boxxy Brown. “Good afternoon, Cheerilee!” called Bonbon. “Sssh!” Cheerilee had ducked behind a tall row of shelves. “I’m hiding.” “Hiding?” From who?” “Nevermind. Can I hide here for a few minutes?” “Uh, okay..." "Great!" Cheerilee ducked behind a display stand just as the door opened again. The magenta earth pony knelt down, making sure that her mane and tail were safely covered behind the rows of gumdrop bins. "Um, hello!" called Bonbon. "Can I help you?" "I am just looking," said Notary. Cheerilee crept around the display as Notary's hooves passed it on the other side. If she gets distracted or something, I can slip out... "Would you like to try a free sample?" asked Bonbon, inducing a smile in Cheerilee. "If you come to counter, I can fix you a big chocolate sundae!" Notary stopped pacing. "A sundae?" "Yes! Why don't you just step up here, and I'll make you the most delicious ice cream in all of Ponyville!" Cheerilee peaked out and saw Notary approaching the counter, looking more confused than anything else. I suppose there's not much call for ice cream up in Moscolt... still, this is my chance! Cheerilee began to slip towards the front door. And then Notary glanced in the glass counter and froze. She saw my reflection! Cheerilee jumped at the door, but Notary sprang out of her seat and cut her off. Cheerilee reversed herself and dashed for the storage room, her wife right at her hooves. I've got one chance, Cheerilee thought. I hope Bonbon keeps her caramel and taffy in the same place as the last time I was in here... *** Bonbon opened her mouth to protest as Cheerilee dashed into her storage room, followed by the white-coated earth pony. "Be careful!" Bonbon yelled as she trotted after them. "My stock's in there, and--" There was a massive crash, and then Cheerilee ran out of the room almost as quickly as she had run in. "I'll pay for it later gotta go bye!" and she blasted out the door. Confused, Bonbon entered the room -- to find that the white-coated mare had somehow been covered in taffy and caramel. She looked like she was almost stuck to the floor with all the sticky sweets. "Um. Can I... help you?" "Get," hissed the other mare. "Me. Out of here!" *** “So, why are we doing this?” asked Silver Spoon. Diamond Tiara sighed to herself as she picked out another good fork from her daddy’s 'For Very Important Guests' silverware cabinet. “I already told you. If we can get Miss Cheerilee back together with her marefriend, she’ll be happy with us and won’t give us homework.” She sniffed. “Mares like us have to stay pampered, beautiful and happy. We have to go to the spa, and Sugar Cube Corner, and places like that. We don’t have time for things like ‘fractions.’ Homework is for foals like Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom who couldn’t be beautiful if they tried.” “Well, yeah,” said Silver Spoon, helping to take down some gorgeous silver napkin rings. She smiled slightly. “What about Scootaloo? Could she be beautiful?” Diamond Tiara’s face flushed bright red as she busied herself examining all the glasses for just the right ones. “Of -- of course not! She’s just some orange-coated speed-freak.” “Mmm-hmm,” said Silver Spoon. “Right.” “She is!” Diamond Tiara scowled. “Come on, Spoonie. Stop teasing me.” “Alright,” said Silver Spoon. “I’m just kidding you anyway. I know you don’t really have a crush on that pegasus.” “Trust me. She’s nothing more than a free carriage service to me,” said Diamond Tiara. I’m sorry Scootaloo... I’ll make it up to you later... But at least if I help you now I can see what you consider to be romantic... Diamond Tiara noticed Silver Spoon taking down a particular goblet. “Wait! Don’t use that one.” “But it’s really pretty.” “This is for Cheerilee. That's too plain for a mare like her." Silver Spoon chose a different goblet, one with more jewels set in the outside. "My special talent's appraisal, remember -- I can tell this one's worth more." "It must be better then," agreed Diamond Tiara. They worked in silence for a few moments. Then Silver Spoon knocked her hooves together. “So! I wonder why Notary and Cheerilee broke up. Think it was another mare?” “I don’t think Miss Cheerilee would do that,” said Diamond Tiara. “But maybe that other one, Notary.” “Yeah, I could see her finding another pony to date. She looked shifty.” Silver Spoon grinned wickedly. “You know, if we can’t get them back together, I bet Miss Cheerilee would like it if we helped her get revenge.” Diamond Tiara thought for a few moments. If it doesn’t work because Notary’s a bad pony who cheated on Cheerilee... then we could help Cheerilee get revenge! Oh, and I bet Scootaloo would want to help too! She likes Cheerilee! We could throw pies at Notary together! “That sounds good!” said Diamond Tiara to Silver Spoon. “If this doesn’t work, I’ll bring it up with the others.” Silver Spoon nodded merrily. “I wonder what their wedding was like.” Diamond Tiara, as a foal, had only one conception of weddings. “Well, of course it was in a big room, and everypony wore white, and all the ponies of the kingdom that mattered were there...” *** All this for a stupid eleven-bit wedding in the back room of a bingo parlor! groaned Cheerilee as she kept scooting. Except now it was hard to scoot, because her hooves were covered in taffee. I need to get this off, she thought. What about... I know! The spa was just a few blocks ahead. She put on a burst of speed, drawing slightly away from Notary and her party wagon, and then ducked into the spa as quickly as she possibly could. “Hi!” she said to Aloe and Lotus as she entered, throwing several bits on the counter. “I’ll have a delux, please!” And she galloped right into the room and quickly shut the door. A few moments later, Notary arrived and hurried in. “Where is Blackcherry?” she demanded. “In the spa,” chirped an oblivious Lotus. Notary began to approach the interior door, but Aloe cut her off. “I’m sorry, miss, but you must be a customer to enter the spa room.” Notary blinked, then put a few bits on the counter. “Fine. Please get out of my--” “Ah, wonderful! That is enough for the deluxe as well. If you’ll follow me.” Notary nodded, mostly ignoring the spa pony's words. Now she would be able to seize Cheerilee at last! She wasn’t too familiar with spas, but she had broken through some of the finest locks in Canterlot. She was absolutely certain that nothing in this spa could possibly keep her from Cheerilee. *** At first Notary wanted to seize her target in the mud bath, but then the spa attendant had poured something into the bath that made it feel warm and comfortable, and it felt so good that she couldn’t quite make herself get out. And then she wanted to seize Cheerilee during the massage, but the masseuse would always do something with her hooves whenever she tried to get up, and Notary’s will to rise seemed to collapse in a little puddle, and all she could manage was to lean into the massage a little more. She’d tried to get up during the hooficure too, but that Lotus pony had such a soft, gentle touch that she couldn’t even begin to rise from the chair. This is absurd. I am a Moscolt pony, she thought to herself. I grew up in snow and ice. I should be able to resist some little spa treatment and... oh... oh, that feels good... Aloe had just turned on the jacuzzi, and Notary felt her cares just bubbling away. Forty minutes later, she found herself leaving the spa. Cheerilee, ahead of her, was heading towards the door. She removed her towel, feeling slightly dazed. “First time?” asked one of the ponies as Notary put a tip on the counter. “Yes,” said Notary. “I have never been to a spa before.” “Well, I hope you liked it!” “I did,” said Notary, with complete honesty. “It was an extraordinary experience, and I hope to be back someday. Now -- it is over, correct? No other procedures?” “Well, yes...” “Good.” Free of their strange, enticing pleasures at last... Cheerilee froze at the word, and the two locked eyes. “Now -- about that marriage,” began Notary at last. Cheerilee turned and dashed out the door. Notary bit back a curse and followed. *** “Now, chocolate’s supposed ta be the most romantic food there is!” said Apple Bloom. “But apples are the best food there is. So what we need are chocolate apples!” “Yay!” said Twist. The two were gathered around a stove as Twist carefully melted chocolate and poured some other goodies -- cream, peanut butter, a little milk -- into the mix. It was soon bubbling softly and smelled absolutely delicious. Apple Bloom had to fight the urge to jump in and start drinking it. “Now,” said Twist. “What kind of apples should we use?” “The sweetest ones we have!” Apple Bloom went over to her bag and began to pull some apples out. “This one and this one and this one....” The apples selected, it was the work of only a few moments to coat them with the succulent chocolate mixture. Before long, the foals were done, and were staring happily at a delicious plate of chocolate-covered apples. “Those look real good,” said Apple Bloom. “Uh-huh,” added Twist. “...Ya know, Ah reckon we should taste one ta make sure. That’s what all the chefs do, Ah heard.” Twist nodded eagerly. The two carefully selected one of the chocolate covered apples, sliced it in half, and each bit on their slice. Their eyes widened. “That’s horrible!” said Apple Bloom, spitting hers out. “It’s all sour and pickley!” “Yuck!” Twist ran to the ice box for some apple juice. “Your apples ruined my chocolate!” “Hey, no way! Yar chocolate ruined ma apples! Ma apples are good!” Twist went back to the apples. “Where did you get these, anyway?” “Where did I get them?” Apple Bloom thought back. “Ah always keep a few apples in ma bag. In case of emergency. An’ Ah...” She looked at the bag she was holding, which wasn’t hers. Notary had dropped one of her saddlebags upon leaving the school, and Apple Bloom had taken it so nothing would happen to it. The apples were from that bag. “Oh! We must have used Miss Notary’s pickled apples by mistake!” Apple Bloom stuck out her tongue. “Ah guess those don’t go well with chocolate.” “Yuck. Those don’t go well with anything.” Twist shook her head. “Although...” “What?” “We need to make food that they like, right?” said Twist. “So it’s romantic?” “Yeah...” “Well, if Notary likes real sour stuff, maybe we should make everything sour?” Apple Bloom hesitated, but she couldn’t escape that logic. “Ah guess it wouldn’t hurt ta splash a little vinegar on all the vittles... what could go wrong with that?” Twist nodded. “Sounds like a good idea!” “An’ she said something else, that she liked... tarragon, or somethin’.” Apple Bloom frowned. “Ah know about pentagons and hexagons, but what’s a tarragon?” “I think it’s a food. Tarragon, tarragon... oh! Maybe she said grey poupon and you just heard tarragon? Her accent’s thick.” Apple Bloom brightened. “That must be it. We’ve got some. Ah’ll get it.” Twist grinned as Apple Bloom began to pour mustard and vinegar over the chocolate apples. “This is going to be the best romantic dinner ever! We’re putting so much thought into this! And Miss Cheerilee always say that if we just think things through, we’ll get the right answer!” “We should tell her that we could only make this meal thanks ta her teachin’!” said Apple Bloom. “She’ll be so proud!” The two foals bumped hooves, laughed, and continued to cook. *** There! Cheerilee scooted through the market, once again blasting past startled shoppers and salesponies. She saw, through a thick cluster of ponies, a table that was elevated high off the ground and screened with a curtain. She would be able to hide from her vengeful wife there. She made sure she was screened by a cluster of ponies, then zipped under the table and -- And bumped into a good friend of hers. “Ditzy?” whispered Cheerilee. The two were now quite crowded under the table, and Ditzy was staring at Cheerilee with blank confusion. “What are you doing here?” “Oh, I bought some fresh oranges for my little muffin, but one of them fell out of my saddlebag and I wanted to get it.” Ditzy smiled. “As a mailmare, I can’t just drop things. It goes against our code of honor.” “There’s a mailmare code of honor?” Cheerilee blinked, until she saw Ditzy’s smile and realized that the Bearer of Kindness was kidding her. “Very funny. Just -- stay quiet for a few minutes.” “Why?” “I’m hiding.” “I can see that.” Ditzy shifted to be a little more comfortable. “From who?” “My, uh...” Cheerilee recalled that Ditzy didn’t know she was married. Of course, that morning, she hadn’t known that either. “An old friend with a bone to pick.” “If she’s making you that scared, she doesn’t seem like much of a friend,” commented Ditzy. “Well, back in the day...” *** “Afternoon, Natalia!” Notary nodded at Cheerilee, and even cracked a smile. Cheerilee grinned. Notary had been a lot more easygoing ever since Summer Sun Celebration. She supposed that drinking your own body weight in cider, going on a midnight run through the bayou, and fighting off an alligator with strings of beads could really bring two ponies together. “Good afternoon,” said Notary. “How was class?” “Awesome. Professor Algorithm said I did great on the math assignment. And now it’s the weekend, and I don’t have anything due until next Friday.” Cheerilee grinned. “Party!” “Have a good time,” said Notary. “Oh, you should come too.” “I would, but I need to finish this.” Notary looked back at her book. “I’m trying to get this memorized.” “Don’t you have a perfect memory? Can’t you just look at it?” “That doesn’t mean I would understand it.” Notary thought. “Just because you have a record of a symphony doesn’t mean you have analyzed its themes.” Before the discussion could continue, the door banged open and an underclasspony ran in. She immediately hugged Cheerilee. “Blackcherry! I need your help! Please!” Cheerilee immediately took the underpony to her bed with a compassionate expression. “What’s wrong, Sunshine Grace?” “It’s... my family crest necklace! It’s gone!” said Sunshine. Cheerilee blinked. “Your necklace? Wait, you’re... you’re from House Littlefief, aren’t you?” “Yes... my Mom’s the sister of Baronetess Littlefief. She's in charge of one of Hyasanguia's little sub-provinces.” Sunshine sniffed. “I know it’s not a big House, but we’ve got a few nice things, and one of them was my necklace with the family crest engraved on it. I mean, legend has it Luna presented my great-grandmom with it when she ennobled our family. And it was passed down, to my grandmom, and then my aunt, and then me, but it’s gone now!” “What happened?” asked Cheerilee. “Professor Hard-Nose confiscated it! He said we’re not allowed to have jewelry in the lab. But I didn’t know that! He only took over the class this week! And he could have just told me to put it away or drop it in my locker, but he took it and said he won’t give it back!” She hugged Cheerilee. “I checked with the counselor, but there’s nothing he can do; teachers can confiscate ‘contraband’, which includes inappropriate lab wear. He said he’d give it back after a parent-teacher conference, but I just can’t tell my Mom I lost Luna’s gift! And if I don’t tell her I’ll never get it back! And he knows that! He just wants that necklace for himself, and I can’t do anything to get it back without admitting I’m terrible and I lost it! I don’t know what to do, Cheerilee!” And then she hugged the magenta pony and burst into tears. Cheerilee hugged Sunshine back. “Sunshine. Sunshine, you aren’t terrible, and you don’t need to worry. I’ll take care of it.” “...how?” “Let me worry about that. But I’ll get you your necklace back. I promise.” Cheerilee patted Sunshine on the head. “I still owe you for helping me study for that econ exam, so don’t worry about it.” “If you could get it back for me, I’d... I’d owe you forever.” Sunshine looked up at her with a pleading expression. “I’d do anything.” “...don’t worry about it. Just go take a nap... get some ice cream or something.” Cheerilee helped Sunshine get up. “Take a shower and listen to some good music. Blackcherry’s got this.” When Sunshine was gone, Notary looked up. “Exactly what is Blackcherry going to do? I don’t think Hard-Nose will return that necklace if you just ask nicely.” “I’ll figure something out.” Cheerilee nodded. “I won’t let a friend down!” *** Cheerilee woke up as the magic alarm buzzed under her pillow, softly vibrating it without making enough sound to wake her roommate. She didn’t want Notary to get in trouble in case something went wrong. She didn’t want to do something like this at all, in fact, but she could see no other way to help her distraught friend. So she would just leave quietly, take care of business, and be back before her roommate awoke. This in mind, she got up. “Where are you going?” Cheerilee looked at the desk. Notary was still sitting there, with a book open. In the dark. “How are you reading in the dark?” asked Cheerilee. Notary tapped her glasses. “I know a unicorn who is very good at ocular magics. Where are you going, Blackcherry?” “Er...” “Please tell me you are not going to burgle Hard-Nose.” Cheerilee frowned. “I’m getting the necklace back. Whatever it takes.” Even in the dark, she could feel Notary staring at her in disapproval. “...setting aside that you’re risking years in prison for a mare you barely know--” “Hey! Sunshine’s a really good friend. She’s always helping anypony that needs it. And she put in all the hours to make sure that big dance still happened even after the Blueblood's canceled the college's dance hall reservation so they could take it instead for their annual 'Which Blueblood Is The Prettiest' contest.” “...do you even have a plan?” Cheerilee frowned. “Yes. I’m going to go to Hard-Nose’s house. I walked by there earlier; there’s a tree with a branch that passes over the exterior wall, so I’ll climb it and hop inside. I’ll find an open window, or if there isn’t one, I’ll pry one open.” She took a small crowbar out of her desk; she had picked it up earlier that day. “Then I’ll just search the house until I find it.” Notary stared. “That... is the worst plan I’ve ever heard.” “Well, it doesn’t affect you, right?” Cheerilee sniffed. “She’s my friend. I’m going to try to help her. If I don’t get arrested, I’ll see you in the morning.” And so she strode towards the door. “Wait.” Cheerilee turned. Notary sighed, then flicked her desk lamp on. “Okay, look. First, you aren’t even doing this at the right time. The Guard unit nearest Hard-Nose’s house is on patrol now. They’ll see you climbing a tree in seconds. You’ll be arrested without even a chase. Second, there’s an alarm spell on that tree -- Hard-Nose's cousin is in the Guards, and he gets a discount on security wards. And third, that house has seven rooms, and almost fifty drawers and cabinets. It would take an amateur hours to search.” Now it was Cheerilee’s turn to stare. “If you really want to just get the necklace, and nothing else, you need to find out where he’s keeping it. Here.” Notary began sketching out a diagram of Hard-Nose’s house on a big sheet of parchment. “You’ll need an accomplice. Have them quietly break in through the front gate, here, and the front door, here, and hide here,” she circled a small closet, “At a reasonable time -- try 4 AM, that’s when that Guard patrol usually takes a quick meal. The front gate is just locked with a wooden bar and an alarm spell; use a ten-ounce amethyst crystal to block the spell -- Runny Nose, down the hall, has one -- and a metal bar to lever the gate bar up. The front door, any competent thief can pick that lock in fifteen seconds. When your partner is in, wait fifteen minutes, then knock at the gate, dressed like a messenger or something. Look official and imply to the doorguards or majordomo that you’re there about some sort of missing political gift that's been returned to your office. Hard-Nose will have to check on the necklace to see if it’s disturbed -- that could indicate somepony found it and told you about it. Your accomplice can follow him. It’s probably here,” she circled another room, “Close to the bedroom, only one door, center of the house, just big enough for a few treasures -- but your accomplice should follow him to make sure. If Hard-Nose uses a key to get at it, your accomplice can see it and can pick it from his pocket when he returns to the front hall. Then just distract him with hard questions while your accomplice takes the necklace and leaves the back way.” There was silence for a few moments. “And you know this... how?” asked Cheerilee. Notary paused. “Let’s just say that, when I heard Sunshine, I thought you might do something stupid, so I cased his house myself. I obtained the architectural plans from his architect’s office... the lock there was a joke.” “And the Guard schedules? And picking locks?” Notary frowned. “I might need that knowledge someday. I want to learn everything I can, to be useful.” Cheerilee froze -- and then hugged her. “You should have told me you were into stuff like this! Have you broken into anywhere else?” “Ack!” Notary struggled out of the hug. “Maybe, but I haven’t taken anything. I just needed to see if I could.” “No, this is perfect! You can help! You do the accomplice thing, and--” “What? No! I do not even know Sunshine. I am not risking getting arrested!” “Oh, I thought it was a perfect plan,” teased Cheerilee. “Come on. What better test of your skills than this?” Notary sighed. “Blackcherry, I really don’t...” “Please?” Cheerilee paused. “Look. I don’t ask for your help often. In fact, I can usually beat you in school without trying.” Notary frowned. “Gee. Thanks.” “But I need help. A friend needs me, and if I go alone, I’m probably going to screw it up.” Cheerilee gently put a hoof on Notary’s shoulder. “Come on. It’ll be fun, and we’ll be doing a good deed. Besides... you’re always telling me how much you want to make a difference. Just think what a difference this will make in Sunshine’s life.” Notary was silent for a few moments. And then, with a sigh, she rose. “Fine.” “YAY!” Notary winced as Cheerilee hugged her again. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to check my lockpicks.” And she withdrew a large set of them from her desk. Cheerilee’s eyes widened. “You should have told me you were this awesome months ago, Natalia.” “...I'll keep that in mind.” *** “We went through a lot together,” said Cheerilee. “And... I mean, we did some good too. Helped out our other friends. She was pretty fun, once you got to know her.” “So why’s she mad now?” asked Ditzy. “Well... I screwed up.” Cheerilee sighed. “I made her a promise that I didn’t keep... she just found out, and I hadn’t thought about it in years. Now she’s mad.” “Well, if you were such good friends, I’m sure she’ll forgive you!” said Ditzy. “If you just--” The tablecloth in front of the two was pulled back, revealing Notary’s triumphant face. “Aha! Now I’ve got you, Cheerilee!” Cheerilee squeaked and dove out the back of the table. Notary dove after her, but somehow wound up in Ditzy’s lap. “Get back here!” “Nice talking to you Ditzy bye!” And Cheerilee grabbed the scooter and dashed away again. *** Alula carefully looked at her row of fired pots and plates. “Let’s see... this one can be good for jellies,” she decided, choosing a pretty pot with a pinkish-red glazing and a few hearts painted on. “And these plates would be perfect!” “Hi Alula!” Alula turned to see Sweetie Belle trotting into her room, looking merry. She had a bundle of cloths tucked into one bulging saddlebag. “Hi, Sweetie!” “This is going to be so great!” said Sweetie Belle, mouth turned up in a big smile. “We’re going to do a great deed! We’ll make sure Miss Cheerilee and Miss Notary love each other forever!” Alula smiled. “What do you think of these plates?” They were all heart shaped. Sweetie Belle examined them with a critical eye. “Hmm... I like them! But...” “But what?” “Wouldn’t it be better if they had little hearts inside the hearts?” Sweetie Belle gestured to the paints. “That paint dries real fast, right? I bet if we worked together, we could get the plates even heart-ier in time!” Alula frowned. “I don’t know... if the paint doesn't dry in time, won't it get into the food?" Sweetie Belle shrugged. "But it'll be prettier!" Alula thought for a few more moments. “Good point,” she said at last. “Let’s do it!” And they got to painting with gusto. *** “So... what exactly did you do?” asked Mayor Ivory Scrolls, looking down the hallway in the middle of City Hall. Trixie Lulamoon beamed. “So, remember how a few days ago it rained really heavily and nopony wanted to go outside?” “Yes...” “I've been working with Twilight -- and on my own -- and I came up with a spell that would let me connect doors to each other, so going through a door over here puts you out a door over there!” Trixie waved down the hall and beamed, her horn glowing brightly. “Try it!” Mayor Scrolls frowned, but opened a door at random and walked through -- and came out several doors down, on the other side of the hall. “Oh!” Trixie beamed. “See? Now, right now the spell can only reach about twenty meters. And it’s still a little fuzzy on which other door is right; at the moment, it could have put you through any of the other doors in this hallway. But I’m going to study ways to make it more accurate and power it up. Why, someday, you could walk right from your home to your office! Maybe even one could walk from here to Canterlot!” Trixie grinned. "And do you know what that means?" "You could sleep in later when you need to be somewhere early in the morning?" Trixie nodded eagerly. “I like the idea, but it seems... dangerous,” said Mayor Scrolls. "I--" The door banged open, and Cheerilee darted in. “Hi Mayor Scrolls! I’m hiding.” She ran through a door at random. Trixie blinked. “Wait! Those doors--” A white coated pony blasted into the hall and dove through the same door. And then Cheerilee came out through a different door, looked puzzled, and ran through a third. And then Notary came out through a different one, and the two began chasing each other through an increasingly labyrinthine series of doors. “Trixie!” yelled Mayor Scrolls as the ponies chased each other all over the hall. “Do something!” Trixie blinked. "Hey! Stop that! Abracascooby's textbook didn't say anything about this!" The teacher and the Rushian both poked their heads out through the same door, Notary on top of Cheerilee. They glanced left and right before Cheerilee looked up, squeaked, and darted back into... whatever was behind the doors. Notary sprang at a different door to follow. Trixie levitated a tome from her saddlebag. “I’ll find the counterspell!” “Hurry -- they’re making me nauseous!” said Mayor Scrolls. Trixie managed to find the counter and began to cast. And then Cheerilee leapt out from a door, knocking into Mayor Scrolls and sending her through another one as she took off down the hall. A moment later, Notary followed her. Trixie horn flashed, and the door spell vanished. “There!” she said. “See? A simple counter, and...” She looked around. “Uh, Mayor? Where did you go?” *** “Let’s go!” said Scootaloo, standing on top of a stump. “Make sure we don’t lose track of them!” Featherweight ran up. “Just spotted them by City Hall, Scootaloo!” “Good work. Stay on them!” And Featherweight ran off. Scootaloo looked around, pleased that she’d managed to corral most of the Ponyville foals into helping her out on this crucial, absolute vital mission for Cheerilee’s happiness. This, she thought, must be what Dinky felt like during that whole cider mess a short while back. She felt big and strong -- like a leader! “Hey, uh, Scootaloo?” Scootaloo turned. “Snips! Snails! Why aren’t you at your posts?” Snails paused. “We... we don’t think this is going to work.” “What?!” “We have a much better way to get Cheerilee and Notary back together!” said Snips. “So we’re goign to go do that, okay?” “What way?” demanded Scootaloo. “Wait -- who cares? This is a mutiny! This is insubordination! I ought to... to...” She tried to figure out what her mother would do in this situation. “I ought to reassign you to the griffon kingdoms!” She paused. “Er... maybe that’s a little far. I’m going to reassign you to Sweet Apple Acres! You’ll be fifteen minutes away from the candy shop! And Applejack will make you play with her pig!” “No!” said Snips, tears springing to his eyes. “That’s horrible!” “Hmph! We’re willing to put up with a little candy shortage to help Miss Cheerilee! And ponies tell us we’re practically pigs anyway!” said Snails. “Come on, Snips. Let’s go.” “But... but candy!” “Later,” instructed Snails. As the two walked away from a still-yelling Scootaloo, Snips turned to Snails. “I don’t know. Are you sure this will work?” “We need to get those two back together,” said Snails, in a sage tone. “Now, what’s the absolute, best way to get two things together that don’t want to be?” Snips paused, and then grinned. "Oh! I know!" And they said at once: "GLUE!" Author's Note That must be some spa. I do like the idea of Cheerilee deciding, just because someone asked, that she'll do a one-mare Leverage job. And then Notary gets dragged along. But to be fair, while Notary seems pretty cynical, but I'll bet that seeing Sunshine Grace's relief when they got her the necklace back would have melted her heat, at least a little bit. Uh oh. Trixie lost the mayor. I sense more hijinks involved in getting her back! Yeah, the door spell isn't quite ready for primetime. No instant teleportation between distant places, at least not yet. Oh, those foals. They try so hard. And fail just as hard. But can anyone really get mad at them about it? RomanceNotary gritted her teeth as she pursued Cheerilee. Her wagon was surprisingly heavy, so it was much harder to move than Cheerilee’s scooter. As such, even though Notary had more stamina than her slender frame might indicate, she wasn’t able to catch up. What’s making this cart so heavy? she wondered. A simple wooden frame shouldn’t be this hard to move... As she took a corner and continued pursuing Cheerilee, she began to check around in the cart's cabinets. One cabinet held confetti, one held colorful hats, and one held a miniature oven that seemed to be full of ribbons. That pony I borrowed this from possesses a lot of party supplies. Why would any pony need this much confetti? Or hats? Or... are those cannons? Indeed, mounted in the wagon were a few big cannons. This vehicle has artillery? Was that pink pony some kind of party pirate? mused Notary. She stuck a hoof into one of the canons, and found it filled with a sticky, wet, and sweet substance -- cake batter, from the taste of it. Maybe in Ponyville they throw parties by having somepony arrive with this wagon and fire cake and other desserts at ponies. This is an... interesting town. But that didn’t matter. She had canons now, and, thanks to her studies, she was reasonably proficient in their use. She gauged the distance and the wind, tilted the canon at just the range angle so the azimuth was correct, and then began to fire. I received perfect scores in physics. This is nothing more than a simple trajectory problem. I won’t miss! she thought. *** “Well!” said Rarity, walking along the street with a smile. “You’ve certainly outdone yourself today, Rarity. You truly look beautiful! Not a hair out of place, not a single snag in your coat, and the sheen in your tail is divine! Today, I--” “Hi Rarity! Bye Rarity!” yelled Cheerilee as she dashed past. “Why, hello,” began Rarity before she was hit in the face with a cannonball-sized chunk of cake batter. “I apologize!” called a white-coated mare in a Rushian-accented voice as she zipped past. Rarity stared as they went, slowly shaking the dripping cake batter from her face and eyes. She happened to catch her reflection in a nearby shop window, and she gasped. Her mane -- messy! Her coat -- in disarray! Her tail -- frazzled! This meant... She had an excuse to go back to the spa! With a whinny of pleasure, Rarity ran off. *** Cheerilee threw herself low on the scooter as the next blast of cake batter soared right over her head and smacked into the street in front of her. She’ll hit me sooner or later! And Pinkie’s cake batter is extra syrupy and gooey, so I’ll get stuck even worse than with the taffy! I have to get out of her line of sight! She realized that she was almost at Golden Oaks Library. She took a hard right turn at the next corner, dodged another cake bullet as she passed in front of the flower trio (who went skittering away in fright as the cake blasted a crater into the Ponyville street), and then skidded to a halt just outside of the library. “Twilight! Twilight! Help!” The front half of the library door opened, and a brightly-smiling Twilight poked her head out. "Hi Cheerilee! What's up? Want me to show you where the pedagogy section is again?" “Not right now!” Cheerilee dove through the upper portion of the door, landing on the library floor. “Just let me hide in the basement! Distract my crazy wife until she goes away confused!” “Um, okay...” No sooner had Cheerilee ducked down inside the basement than the library door banged open. “Where... where is she?” gasped a panting Notary. “Where is Blackcherry?” “Oh. Uh... sorry. I can’t help you.” Cheerilee winced. Twilight was not a good dissembler. “I’m in the middle of a project. Solving very important problems.” “What problems?” asked the suspicious Rushian. “Well... uh... I was just going to look up the population of several major Equestrian cities for a survey! You know, Trottingham, Vancolter, Bitse, Fillydelphia, Manehattan. But I--” Notary quickly rattled off five numbers. “...oh. You, um, have a good memory.” “Thank you. Now, tell me where Blackcherry is. I saw her enter this building.” “Wait!” said Twilight, her footsteps following the Rushian's, presumably to stop her. “I also need, uh, to finish reading about the Count of Monte Cob-o--” “The protagonist gets revenge on the ponies who betrayed him and sent him to prison, and all the good ponies marry and live happily ever after,” said Notary. “Where is Blackcherry?” “Uh -- I have to look up the average precipitation of the Mild West!” Notary gave a number. “The average number of trees in a maple forest?” Another number. “The size of Equestria? The number of nobles, including heirs and relatives? The number of carpenters?” Three more numbers. “The -- the average airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?” “That’s -- wait." Notary was silent for a few moments, and Cheerilee began to smile. At last, her wife said, "An Equestrian swallow, or from around Amblerja? They fly at very different speeds.” “Equestrian, of course -- after a good meal and a full night’s sleep!” said Twilight. “And wearing a hat.” Cheerilee cautiously inched open the door to see that Notary was looking at Twilight, who looked weirdly happy at having finally managed to stump the Rushian. The schoolteacher began to creep out. “No,” said Twilight, listening to Notary giving a number. “I think you're neglecting drag coefficients and relativistic effects. You see..." Cheerilee approached the door. Home free! she thought. And then she stepped on a creaky board. Notary turned. "Stop!" Oh no! And Cheerilee raced out the door, hopped on her scooter and was gone. Notary chased after her. Twilight watched them go, blinking a few times in confusion. "Um... thanks for stopping by?" *** Cheerilee was feeling the burn from rushing around town all day. I need to get to a safe place and hole up. Maybe somewhere outside of town... one of the outlying farms. Yeah, doesn't Applejack have a few outbuildings? And the Farmer's Union farms have sheds. Just get out of town, hide in the fields, and wait for her to leave. Or get Winona to chase her off. She changed course again. If I go by Trixie's house, I can get into a few tight alleys where I might be able to shake her for a little bit. Then go straight out of town. And then... She saw Featherweight out of the corner of her eye. The foal seemed to be looking for something, but he quickly ducked away. Huh. Well, Featherweight's usually good. I'm sure he's not up to anything ridiculous. Now, I just need to get past Trixie's house without getting hit by cake, and then I should be out of danger! *** Trixie was dropping onto her sofa with a melodramatic sigh. "Worst. Day. Ever," she told Pokey. "Worse than the day the Tyrant Sun came back?" "Well--" "Or the day Philomena tried burning down Ponyville? Or parasprites almost ate Ponyville? Or Zecora used alcohol to wreck Ponyville? Or when the nobles decided not to fix it? Or--" "Pokey!" Trixie threw her hat at him, and managed to land it on his overly large horn. That better not poke through it. "I am your boss. When I say I've had a bad day, it's your job to comfort me, ask what happened, and fetch me a cookie and a glass of bourbon." "...I'll check, but I'm pretty sure that's not actually the point of my job." Pokey chuckled. "Still, curiosity is getting the better of me. What happened?" "Remember that awesome new spell I came up with to link doors?" Trixie levitated a bottle of bourbon to her from her desk. "Well, I might have slightly misplaced the mayor with it." Pokey blinked. "That, um. Sounds serious." "I was able to use the residual energy from the spell to track her position relative to wherever she wound up." Trixie's horn glowed, and a purple outline of a pony appeared in the air. It was walking around in what could only be described as an annoyed manner. "She's moving around enough that she's obviously not imprisoned or trapped anywhere, and she's moving slowly enough that she's not running away from anything, so she's not in danger. But I still have to find her global position and get her back soon, or Luna will probably blame me for it." "Imagine that." Trixie shook her head. "Like I said, this sucks. What else could possibly go wrong--" A blast of cake smashed through her window and pounded into her desk, spattering her paperwork with egg, flour, and high-quality sugar. Trixie was silent. Pokey giggled. "I'm finding the mayor from under my bed," announced Trixie at last. *** Meanwhile, on Sweet Apple Acres, two earth ponies were returning home with a small bag of surplus apples and a large bag of bits. “Ah’m tellin’ ya, Big Mac, those apples ain’t right! Ain’t no reason anypony should pickle an apple! Ya wanna pickle somethin’, pickle a pickle!” said Applejack. “That’s why they call ‘em pickles!” “Actually, they’re cucumbers before they’re pickles,” said Big Macintosh. “Whatever. But ya don’t pickle apples. There oughta be a law!” Applejack kicked a rock out of her way. “Just imagine if that was somepony’s first apple. They’d swear off apples fer life!” Big Macintosh thought for a moment. “Well, Ah liked it.” “Oh, ya’d eat anythin’. Ya’d eat yar own head if ya could.” Big Macintosh smiled, then stuck his tongue out and carefully licked the tip of his nose. “Ah don’t know, AJ. Ah don’t taste that good.” Applejack looked at him -- and then dissolved into laughter. “Feel a little better?” asked Big Macintosh. “Yeah, sure.” Applejack smiled. “Ah guess Ah just put so much care inta apples, Ah don’t get it when Ah taste some that don’t make no sense.” “It’s what they like in Moscolt,” said Big Macintosh. “Ah’m sure Apple Trust Moscolt would find our apples too sweet.” “Ah guess...” “Applejack!” The two earth ponies turned to see Cheerilee speeding towards them on a scooter. “Hide me!” she gasped, and then dashed into a barn and slammed the door behind her. Applejack looked at Big Macintosh. “Should we be worried about that?” “Eyup.” A party wagon rolled up, with a tired-looking white-coated mare on top. “Hello again,” she said. “Did my wife come by?” The two ponies paused. “Wife?” asked Applejack. “Yes.” Notary looked suspiciously at the barn. “I am looking for my wife. Is she here?” “Er...” said Applejack. “Because I have some things to say to her. About why, if you promise your wife that you will annul your marriage, you actually do it.” “Uh,” said Applejack. “And why you should not dismiss the first promise you make to your wife to cheat on her. With a stallion.” Her eyes flashed. “So I am looking for her. Have you seen her?” Applejack looked at her for a long moment. And then she said, “Big Mac, ya know how ya told ma Ah gotta learn when Ah can do things maself an' when Ah need help?” “Eyup?” “Ah think this is one of those times Ah need help.” Big Macintosh looked at Notary’s expression. It was an expression that said ‘I will tear down this barn if I have to.’ “...Eyup.” The two Apple siblings stepped between Cheerilee and the barn. Applejack looked as stern as she could. "Now, Miss--" Notary saw an open window about halfway up the barn. Darting around the Apples with surprising speed, and climbing up some conveniently placed hay bales, she hopped inside. “Now I have you!” Applejack and Big Macintosh looked at each other. "Uh," said Applejack. "Ah--" From inside the barn came a few cries. The cows mooed. The pigs squealed. The poultry began to squawk uproariously. “Hah!” Cheerilee yelled. “Can’t catch me now!” And then she jumped from the highest window, a half-dozen chickens tied to her with lengths of hay. The chickens flapped and slowed her fall, and she landed softly to the ground. She quickly untied the chickens, then ran to recover the scooter. “Bye Applejack! I’ll be by later to pick up some apples!” “Get back here!” Notary burst through the barn door on the back of a gigantic pig. “I’m going to get you!” “Ma’am!” said Big Macintosh, in a slightly louder voice. “We can’t allow ya ta hurt Cheerilee. She's a dear friend of ours, an' this whole town.” “What can you do about it?” snapped Notary. The pig looked at Applejack, who nodded slightly, and then it gave a mighty heave. Notary went flying into the nearest mud puddle. Cheerilee took advantage of the opportunity to speed away. *** Beebop carefully manipulated the equipment until everything was perfect, and then began to play back the record. What sounded was a series of banging, booming sounds with a heavy beat and a lot of energy. Beebop grinned as she continued listening, making sure the music had been recorded from the other records perfectly. This mix disk had to be perfect, after all. “Hey kiddo!” said Vinyl Scratch, walking through the door with a hay pizza and some oat soda. “Want a snack?” Beebop shook her head. “No time! I’ve got to get this done really really fast!” “What’s it for?” asked Vinyl, hopping onto a cushion and guzzling a long gulp of soda straight from the bottle. “Miss Cheerilee’s wife is mad at her, so I need to come up with some really romantic tunes to get them together!” Beebop grinned as she carefully removed the record and tucked it into a sleeve. “This is GONNA BE AWESOME!” she yelled. Vinyl chuckled. “How are you picking out romantic songs?” Beebop grinned. “Well, romance has ENERGY! And PASSION! And... and FUN! So I’m picking the most energetic and passionate and fun music!” She put a new record on, and a rapid wubstep song began blasting out. “Perfect! Miss Cheerilee will love this!” “Awesome!” said Vinyl. “How’d you come up with this idea, anyway?” “Well, Miss Cheerilee always says we should do what we’re passionate about to make others happy! And I love music! And I want to make her happy! After that, it was easy--” Featherweight ran into the studio. “Scootaloo says we have to get everything together! Miss Cheerilee and Miss Notary are heading back into town!” “Right!” Beebop grabbed the record and hopped off the table. “Vinyl? May I borrow one of your record players, please?” “Sure thing, kiddo. I’ll set up a speaker too, if you want.” Vinyl grinned. “Give ‘em romance so strong it knocks their hooves off!” Beebop blinked. “...that was a metaphor.” “You’re sure it won’t actually knock their hooves off? That sounds like it could hurt.” “Yes. Yes, I’m sure.” *** Cheerilee skidded into the center of town, then found she could go no further -- she was too tired to move even another inch. The teacher bent over the appropriated scooter, gasping for breath. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea... “Blackcherry! I have you now!” Cheerilee turned to see Notary, looking just as tired as she, slowly sliding into the town square on Pinkie’s (now slightly battered) party wagon. Sweat, and a little mud, streamed down her face, but her gaze was still strong and sure. “You won’t get away!” Cheerilee heard distant hoofsteps approaching, probably Applejack's and Big Macintosh's, but she knew they wouldn't reach her in time. “But Natalia--” “WAIT!” The voice was high pitched and squeaky, yet still incredibly loud. Both mares turned to see Sweetie Belle at the head of a large group of foals. “You can’t fight each other!” said Scootaloo. “You’re married!” Notary blinked. “Who are they?” Cheerilee sighed to herself. Uh oh. “My students.” “...why are they getting involved in our dispute?” “They’re an... involved bunch.” Cheerilee turned towards her class and put her best smile on. “Now, class, this is an adult matter. I--” “But Miss Cheerilee!” protested Scootaloo. “We couldn’t let you to be mad at each other. So we set up the perfect date!” Cheerilee and Notary looked at each other, than the orange foal. “What?” managed Cheerilee, though she dreaded the answer. “Here!” Scootaloo pointed at a large picnic cloth. It had been set up with heart-shaped plates and pots, jeweled glasses and silverware, and what looked like chocolate covered apples. Next to it was a speaker, helpfully labeled ‘FOR ROMANTIC MUSIC.’ “See? We’re all sure if you just have a fun date, you’ll fall in love again!” said Scootaloo. Notary blinked. “We were never in--” “Come on!” The foals hurried forward and dragged the two earth ponies to the picnic blanket. “See how nice this is?” Notary opened her mouth to say something, but Apple Bloom quickly shoved an apple into it before she could. Notary chewed for a moment, then spat it out with widened eyes. "This tastes like paint! And mustard!" Cheerilee examined the apples, even licking one. "Uh--" "Are your students trying to poison me?!" "No, Natalia--" But Beebop hit the speaker, and the rest of Cheerilee’s response was lost in a blast of wubstep. Notary put her hooves over her ears. “Your students are crazy!” she yelled at Cheerilee. “Don’t insult my students!” yelled Cheerilee. “You are also crazy!” Cheerilee frowned. “I’m not the one who spent all day chasing somepony over Ponyville!” “I am not the one who cheated on her wife within hours of marriage that was her idea in the first place!” “I’m not...” *** Snips and Snails looked down from the top of a nearby building. Snails slowly shook his head. “See? That plan didn’t work. Now they’re just yelling.” Indeed, Notary and Cheerilee seemed to be mostly screaming at each other, while the foals looked at them in various states of dismay. Notary slammed a hoof down, knocking the apples and place settings about, and sending a few foals running after them in a futile effort to save the picnic. “Fortunately, the Great Snailsini has a plan!” He waved at Snips. “Help me get this on top of them!” The two had spent the afternoon putting together two gigantic balls of stickyness. Held together by glue, tape, taffee, and every other sticky thing they could find, they were confident no pony could escape its clutches. Such gluiness could easily stick the two wives together and force them to reconcile. “What happens once they love each other again?” asked Snips, as they pushed the balls near the edge. “How do we unstick them?” Snails paused, just as the ball went over the edge. “Oh. Thinking about that would have been a good idea.” *** Notarystood on her hind legs to throw the punch in Cheerilee's face, but then something heavy fell on her back and rolled away... dragging her with it. And then things got very confusing. When the world stopped spinning, she realized that she was stuck in some gooey mess, more or less facing Cheerilee, also stuck. And the foals -- now including two odd-looking unicorns -- had surrounded them. “Blackcherry?” asked Notary. “What’s going on?” “I have no idea.” Snails grinned. “See, Scootaloo? They’re already talking nicely again! We told you our idea was better!” Scootaloo frowned. “What idea? You just dropped two sticky balls off a roof!" "Two balls?" asked Alula. "Where did the other one go?" *** Trixie sighed. "Thanks for the short notice, Windowpane. Looks great." She rapped a hoof on the freshly-replaced window a few times to test it. "But why'd you bring two windows over?" "Oh, I was talking to Pinkie," said the friendly glazier. "She seemed to think you'd need two today." "Oh, come on. Even I've never needed a window replaced twice in one day--" A large sticky ball bounced through the window, shattering it and spattering over the carpet. "...I'm going back under my bed, where things make sense," announced Trixie, before going invisible and hurrying upstairs. Windowpane shrugged. Vacation in Prance, here I come! And he once again began to fix the window. *** Scootaloo was frowning. "You still disobeyed orders, Snips and Snails!. That's insubordination!” “Wait, why do you get to give us orders?” asked Snips. A pony with a tiara on her head seemed about ready to protest that the orange pony was doing the green unicorn a favor by giving him orders, but refrained at the last moment. “Siccing your foals on me? That was your strategy?” demanded Notary. “I didn’t sic them! They just did it on their own!” “They are foals. Do you honestly think they would all work together on an overcomplicated plan with dubious prospects of success for no apparent reason?” “Yes.” “Um..." said a new voice. "What’s going on?” A gray pony in a mailmare’s outfit, with a young purple foal riding on her back, had just floated down and landed, the two Apple siblings running up behind them. The gray pony looked at the two earth ponies in the sticky ball. “What happened to you?” “My students,” said Cheerilee. The mailmare nodded. “Oh. Should I distribute all the parent-teacher notices again?” “Yes, thank you.” Ditzy smiled. "Look on the bright side. You've sent out so many this year, you qualify for a volume discount on stamps!" "...yippee." The purple foal looked between the two adults. “So... um... now that you’re... uh, stuck there... maybe you could talk out your problems?” “There is nothing to talk out,” hissed Notary. “But there has to be!” Dinky’s eyes were wide. “Wives should love each other! That's why I got my Momma! She's the lovingest Momma in all the world, and she can help you love each other like you should!” “Yeah!” said Scootaloo. “Parents should love each other!” “We are not parents!” said Notary. “To be a parent, a stallion has to be involved in some way!” "Really? How?" Sweetie Belle blinked. "I asked my sister, but she won't tell me until I'm older." Cheerilee sighed. “Class... I appreciate your concern, but this is an issue that Miss Notary and I have to work out on our own. And I thought I told you not to find me any new love interests.” “We’re not!” said Sweetie Belle. “We’re helping you get back with a previous love interest!” She beamed. I think I need to start teaching them about what rules-lawyering is and why ponies shouldn’t do it, thought Cheerilee. “And you aren’t working it out!” continued Dinky. “You’re just running around!” “That’s because she was chasing me!” said Cheerilee. “That’s because you wouldn't stop!” said Notary. “Well, now nopony’s chasing anypony or not-stopping,” said Dinky, in a satisfied voice. “So now you can work things out! ...right?” "Yeah!" said Apple Bloom, before her siblings shushed her. Ditzy paused for a moment, then looked at Cheerilee and Notary. “Would it help if we went somewhere more private?” “There is nothing to discuss!” said Notary, in an exasperated voice. “I trusted you, Blackcherry. I had never been to a party before. I had never drunk to excess. You promised you would look out for me and protect me. That nothing bad would happen. And now I find out that you lied, that you married me and pretended you had canceled it, and for all these years you kept it a secret. Was any of it honest?” She frowned. “What if I had married another pony, Blackcherry? What if they found out and thought I had another mare on the side? This could have seriously hurt my life -- but you did not care, because all that mattered to you was the party and the fun. I did not trust many ponies. But I trusted you. And you let me down, you lied, and--” “I didn’t lie!” protested Cheerilee. “I was just... I...” She paused, and then the words burst out of her: “You never smiled! You were never happy! And I wanted you to be happy just once, because I liked you and I knew how hard you worked! And you had so much fun at Summer Sun, and I was so happy to see you happy I didn’t want to make you upset again! And I just... went along with things, and I forgot all about the marriage! I’d have signed the papers any time you asked! I just didn’t want to make you unhappy again, so soon after Summer Sun, when I saw you really smile for the first time. And then time passed and I forgot.” The two were silent for a moment. “Natalia,” said Cheerilee. “I’m... sorry. I should have been more careful, I shouldn’t have led us into that marriage parlor and bingo hall in the first place. And I should have gotten the papers filed, or told you when I didn’t.” Notary sighed. “...I was not aware you were working so hard to make me happy. I thought... I thought it was just another party for you, that I was just tagging along. I apologize for my lack of understanding. And, in the end, I suppose no harm was done...” The foals all leaned closer. “I am sorry,” said Notary, at last. “For chasing you today, and for not considering your own motives.” “Forgiven?” asked Cheerilee, a small smile on her face. “Forgiven.” There was a moment of silence. And then the foals all went, “AWWWW!” And Scootaloo, with a big bright smile, yelled, “NOW KISS!” The two started and turned to the foals. “Kiss?” repeated an incredulous Notary. “We cannot kiss!” “Why not?” challenged Sweetie Belle. “Aren’t you two married?” “We’re... stuck in a sticky ball,” said Cheerilee, lamely. “Can’t move a muscle.” “Besides,” said Notary, “When have we ever really kissed?” “What?” said Cheerilee. “What about when...” *** “Aha!” said Ogre, the chief of security at the mansion. “I knew there were two ponies lurking who shouldn’t be!” Cheerilee smiled at him, undaunted. This was another place Notary and Cheerilee had broken into in order to right a wrong -- in this case, to recover the money that one of the university bullies was extracting from the weaker students. This was, however, the first time they’d been caught. Cheerilee supposed she shouldn’t have had such gassy soda at dinner. The guards hadn’t seen either of them, but they’d definitely heard Cheerilee’s burps. “We’re not lurking!” said Cheerilee. “We were just looking for a romantic spot, and we got lost!” “Oh yeah?” the guard laughed. “You two don’t look romantically involved.” “Blackcherry, what are you doing?” whispered Notary. “I have a smoke bomb--” Cheerilee grabbed Notary. “Oh yeah? If we weren’t involved, would we do this?” And she embraced Notary and kissed her tightly. Notary stiffened, but seemed to go along with it, and Cheerilee smiled to herself as she ran her hooves along Notary’s body. No mare knew more about passion and love than she did. She knew it had to be a very convincing scene. “...uh,” said the guard, looking more confused than anything. “What?” “Hey!” Another guard ran up. “What’s going on?” The first one turned. “Found these two, but then they started kissing.” “What? Why?” “How should I know? I--” He turned back, but both mares had vanished into the shadows. Later, once the money was recovered, Cheerilee had turned to Notary. “By the way?” “Yes?” “You’re a terrible kisser. Three out of ten at most.” Notary blinked. “...what?” “Seriously. No technique, no form... didn’t know what to do with your tongue... and I think your eyelashes got tangled in mine.” Cheerilee smiled. “You still want to learn every useful skill, right? I know some ponies who can teach you how to kiss. They have a lot of experience.” Notary stared at her. “And on that note, I am taking a shower.” “What, I can’t critique your skills? You told me my lockpicking needed work!” “Well, it did!” “Hmph.” But Cheerilee smiled as her roommate left. “Eh. I bet I could get her up to a five, at least, with a little practice...” *** Cheerilee paused. “Okay, good point.” “Do you love each other again?” asked Apple Bloom, eyes big. “Did you make up?” asked Sweetie Belle. Ditzy frowned. “Foals... please give them some space. I’m sure all of your parents wouldn’t want you harassing them...” “But we have to know!” said Scootaloo. “We have to know if we saved their relationship!” Cheerilee was slowly pulling herself out of the sticky ball. “...I’ll tell you in class,” she said at last. Her head was swimming. She needed a drink. “Okay?” “But... can’t you tell us now?” asked Apple Bloom. “We worked real real hard on the date!” “And the sticky ball!” said Snips. “We knew you’d want us to work hard to help ponies we like -- like you!” said Featherweight. “And to put a lot of thought into it!” said Apple Bloom. “And to focus on all the little details to make everything just right!” added Diamond Tiara. “And to do what we’re PASSIONATE ABOUT!” yelled Beebop. Cheerilee managed to get her other legs free, and tumbled back to the ground. Despite everything, she could not help but be touched by the obvious effort her class had expended on this. “Our... relationship is better than it was,” she said. That’s true... she’s no longer trying to chase me down... It was enough for the foals. “YAAAAY!” they screamed, running around and hugging and high-hoofing each other. “Yay!” “Alright,” said Ditzy. “Now, I think Miss Cheerilee and Miss Notary want some time alone, so...” “Got it, Miss Doo!” Scootaloo began to lead the foals away. “Glad you’re back together with your wife, Miss Cheerilee! You should let us help plan your second honeymoon!” “Yay!” said the foals again, and left - Scootaloo grabbing her scooter out of the sticky ball as she ran by . Notary tugged herself out of the sticky ball. “...just to clarify, those foals are taught by you, yes?” “...they might be odd sometimes, but I still care for them,” said Cheerilee, simply. “Now... after that, I need a drink.” “I’ll join you.” As Cheerilee considered her response, her gaze fell to a ribbon on the ground; Sweetie Belle, probably, had been scattering them all over the place on the picnic cloth. She picked it up and made a note to return it to her. It was a nice ribbon, bright and grassy-green, and-- Wait. Grassy green... Her eyes widened -- she remembered, now, why Notary’s address had struck her as odd. “Good!” she said, at last. “I’d love to share a drink with an old friend like you.” Notary bowed her head. “We can catch up... talk about old times,” said Cheerilee. And more recent ones as well... RemissionThe two ponies went, at Cheerilee's recommendation, to Berry Punch’s Bar and Soda Shop. They entered, placed their orders at the bar -- vodka and hay fries for Notary, cider and a carrot salad for Cheerilee -- and chose a quiet table in the back. The drinks came quickly, and Notary sipped hers. “Honestly, I was surprised to find out that you wound up here, Blackcherry.” “Why?” “You were always so rambunctious. I would have guessed that you would settle in a large metropolis with dozens of clubs, hundreds of bars, and thousands of potential suitors.” Notary smiled slightly. “Did you tire of that life?” “I suppose I just realized that I wanted something more stable.” Cheerilee smiled serenely. “Honestly, I still have a lot of fun. You couldn’t imagine how good it feels to see those students learning and understanding more about the world around them. We live in a fascinating land, after all, and there’s just so much to know! It’s always a joy to see them learn just a little bit more.” “There is indeed a lot to know,” said Notary. “Facts... skills...” she trailed off. “And sometimes it even matters.” Cheerilee frowned, but didn’t ask for clarification just yet. “There’s actually a few other things I want to ask you, though.” “The teacher needs more information?” Notary's smile grew. "And you always bragged about your superior academic performance." Cheerilee laughed. “Just because I’m a teacher doesn’t mean I know everything. Why, just last weekend a pony named Heavy Roller showed me how to repair a broken carriage wheel. I’m always learning, Natalia.” She smiled. “That’s good to hear.” “For instance, I learned who your previous employer was.” Notary froze. Cheerilee paused. She wasn’t sure she wanted to rock their friendship now, so soon after having made peace. But Notary and her former employer, the now-disgraced Duke Greengrass, had put the Elements through a lot of trouble in their efforts to obtain political control of the six mares. They had even targeted Cheerilee specifically, sending a magical lothario to try to seduce her and convince her to run off to Caneighda. Cheerilee knew that it might not have been Notary’s fault, as the Rushian could have been blackmailed or otherwise forced into it... but she thought that was unlikely, given what she knew of Notary. And she wanted to know the truth. “What I still don’t know,” said Cheerilee, “Is why.” “You knew my employer?” asked Notary. “Yes.” “For how--” “It doesn't matter,” said Cheerilee. “Stop. Just... tell me the truth. I want to know why my roommate tried to manipulate my life. You said you only recently learned about the marriage, so it wasn’t that. What was it?” Notary looked down. “You should already know, Blackcherry. How many times did I tell you what I... desired... to do in life?” Cheerilee sighed. “You always talked about wanting to matter, to be useful. But that doesn’t make sense. We both know how talented you are, Natalia. How many skills you have. With the skills we practiced, and your innate talents... you could do anything. Even become a Shadowbolt or spy, if you liked that kind of job. Or if you wanted to work for a politician, you could have picked a viceroy -- or even Luna. You didn't need to work for some Duke with delusions of grandeur.” Notary chuckled -- a harsh, dry sound. “For Luna? Nopony works for Luna.” It was such a strange statement that Cheerilee was momentarily flumexed. "...somepony ought to tell Luna that she's writing a lot of paychecks for no reason, then." "You know what I mean." "No, I don't. I mean, Trixie is Ponyville's Representative, and she--" “Does nothing of substance in that position!” Notary gulped the last of her vodka. “Luna is an alicorn, Blackcherry. She is omnipotent. She can do anything. There is nothing any of her staff does she could not do herself if she bothered. Luna could do everything Trixie does in her duties as Representative without expending the smallest amount of effort. Thus, everything Trixie does for that job is meaningless. It only needs to be done because Luna does not want to bother.” Cheerilee paused. “...Notary--" Notary waved for another order of vodka. “At first, I thought I could find something meaningful if I simply avoided specific careers. My family, for instance: I have two parents, two sisters, a brother, some cousins, and most of them are engaged in clerical work. I love them all very much, and I visit them often. But I looked at what they are doing with their lives... this one, fetching coffee for a businesspony. That one, typing up carbons for a minor noble. Her, running letters. Him, writing press releases. Another, a glorified maid.” She frowned. “They are all so intelligent. Many of them are smarter than I. And yet... none of them do anything that matters! They could all move to the Crystal Kingdom tomorrow, and I doubt anypony would notice! They have had no affect on the world whatsoever; nothing they do could not be done by other ponies. "And so I resolved to avoid that, to choose a more useful job... but then I moved to Canterlot, and I saw Luna in one of her public addresses. I saw her display her magic, and I read more about her powers in history books. I realized then that everything else I had considered -- general, businessmare, policemare, spy -- is just as irrelevant." She looked down. “I want to matter, Blackcherry. I want to do important work. I want to influence the world somehow. I should be able to! Everypony always told me how intelligent I was, how motivated and focused. I should be able to make some impact! But it would not be possible in Luna’s shadow. Luna can do anything I, or any other pony, can do. She is omnipotent; with a wave of her hoof she could have the world be as she wills it. If she decides tomorrow that all ponies should have six legs, two noses, and ears that can see, she could make it so with no more effort than you or I would need to blink. She allows the Court to exist, pays for an army of staff, in Canterlot and all over the nation, out of pity for those she has rendered irrelevent... or maybe just laziness. But I cannot live like that. Do you know what my cutie mark means, Blackcherry?” Cheerilee thought. Notary, like her, had been a blank flank in college, and the teacher hadn’t really examined her roommate's mark closely. She did so now, seeing a quill and parchment. “Writing?” “No." She shook her head. "It has been years since I told anypony what it truly means -- Greengrass encouraged me to let others believe what they wished about it. Apparently ambiguous cutie marks run in his family, and he liked the thought of me having one too. But look at it closely.” Notary slipped out from the booth. “A blank piece of parchment, and a ready quill. The tools of a stenographer, one who records other pony's deeds but does nothing herself. I obtained it when I was in the service of a writer, one desperate to finish his magnum opus before his imminent death, and who succeeded thanks to my help in organizing his research, taking down his notes when he was too ill to move, proofreading, even breaking into his office late at night to retrieve a file he had forgotten. I was happy when we finished, happy to make him happy, but then I saw that I had earned my cutie mark... and realized it was for nothing more than being a conduit to allow the world to see another pony's greatness." When she spoke again her voice was low. "I reject that talent. I will not be a mare who can only record the deeds of those greater than herself." “Natalia.” Cheerilee’s voice was soft. I can deal with her cutie mark angst later. This is more important. “I appreciate your desires. But they did not give you any right to hurt others the way you did. Did you think what would have happened to me had that pony brainwashed me? What happened to Carrot Top, or Lyra, or Octavia?” “I don’t claim to be a good pony.” Notary shook her head a little. “I never did. Maybe I am a bad pony... ethics was one class I was never very good at. But you asked why I did it, and I told you. I wanted to matter.” “...so you helped Greengrass, to try and overthrow Luna.” “Greengrass is not omnipotent. If he ruled the nation, he would need help only I could give him. My deeds would matter then.” Notary looked up at Cheerilee, her eyes blazing. “I helped him run Caneighda. I could help him run the nation -- I have the knowledge and the skills, and we could have moved Equestria into a new golden age, together. I couldn’t think of any better goal. To have that kind of influence, to usher in a new renaissance... I knew it was a long shot. He probably did too. But I had to try.” Cheerilee slowly nodded. “What happened to him, anyway?” “He lost his political influence after the Gala. He does not have the power to hurt you anymore, even if he wanted to. I can assure you he will never again be a threat to you or to other innocent ponies." “Good,” said Cheerilee. “He did bad things. You helped him.” She paused. “Why him in particular? If you wanted an ambitious pony, why not some other noble?” “He was the only one with the ambition and skill. The others... either pets content to be Luna’s lapdogs forever, or fools with no real hope of obtaining the needed power. He was the only one who had a chance, and now he’s gone.” She raised her glass morosely. “To the Duke.” “Natalia, he attacked me. And my friends.” “I know.” Notary shook her head. “But you cannot understand, Blackcherry. You don’t know what it is like to live in Canterlot. To be reminded, every time she passes you in the halls or shows up in Court, how little you are, how impossible it is for anything you do to matter. With one spell, she could feed everypony in the nation. Or cure every illness. Or teach every foal everything there is to know. Every single night, as the moon rose, I saw a reminder that the thing I wanted, to matter, just a little, was completely impossible." She paused. "Greengrass was not going to try to hurt her, Blackcherry. Just... obtain sufficient political power to force the Court to propose he be appointed Grand Duke, then run the nation for the duration of our lives. Make things grow where even Luna, it seemed, hadn’t been able to. That was all we wanted. Him -- to grow. Me -- to matter. Maybe we never had a chance... I don’t care. I had to try, and so did he.” "And that's why you hurt me, and my friends, and all the other ponies." Cheerilee locked eyes with her. "Because you wanted to matter. And you didn't think you could matter unless Luna were out of the way." Notary nodded. Cheerilee leaned back. “I appreciate you telling me, and I understand where you're coming from. But you’re wrong about something, Natalia. Other ponies do matter. Take me, for instance.” “I know that you saved the world.” Notary sipped her second vodka. “I mean no disrespect, but my understanding was that was largely luck, and that many ponies could have wielded the Elements-- including Luna Herself.” “I wasn’t referring to that.” Cheerilee shook her head. “Every day I teach my class something is a day they learn, and grow, and become better ponies. I’ve been teaching in Ponyville for years now, Natalia. I’ve taught many foals. I’ve had an influence on each and every one of their lives.” “Luna could do it--” “Sure, maybe Luna could have done it better. Maybe she could have cast a spell and poured knowledge into their heads -- I don’t know. But she didn’t. She wasn’t here. I was, and I was.” Cheerilee frowned. “I’ve influenced so many lives, Natalia. And all for the better. Those foals are building, and creating, and growing, and enjoying life, thanks to my influence. You did all those things so you could matter... but what influence have you really had? Greengrass is destroyed, and anything he was trying to grow is probably gone along with him. What can the world remember you for -- that you would want to be remembered for, anyway?” Notary was silent for a long moment. And then she said, “I know.” And she hung her head. Cheerilee had been expecting her to angrily defend herself, or protest. She wasn’t sure what to do next. “Natalia--” “No. You are right. I... I don’t matter, and I never could have mattered.” Natalia slowly got out of the booth for the second time. “All I have done is hurt ponies, and for nothing. I was a fool to think that it could have turned out differently. I am... I am sorry I wasted your time, Blackcherry. I never should have come here. I will file the remaining paperwork to erase our marriage, and you need never think of me again.” “Where are you going?” asked Cheerilee. “Back to Moscolt. I will visit my family for a while, and then look for work. I doubt news of my disgrace has reached Rushia. And with the upcoming war against the Tyrant, the military will need more clerical staff.” Her voice sounded completely broken. “Goodbye, and--” “Sit down,” said Cheerilee. Notary paused. “Sit. Down,” repeated Cheerilee. Notary slowly returned to her seat. “What now?” Cheerilee said, slowly, “Do you remember our adventures in college?” “Yes...” “All those ponies we helped -- Sunshine Grace and all the others. Natalia, we mattered. That mattered. Didn’t you see how happy Sunshine was when we got her necklace back? When we exposed all the rules Hard-Nose was breaking so he could be properly punished? When we beat back Ogre and his gang? That mattered!” “Others could have done it. We only did it because they did not bother--” “But they didn’t! Natalia, why is it so important that you do something nopony else could do?” Cheerilee shook her head. “Why can’t it be enough just to... to help others where we can?” Notary was silent for a long while. “If there is nothing I alone can do,” she murmured, “Then why do I exist? What is the point of any of it? To live, and love, and work, and know all the while that any of it could be done without you? Call me evil if you want, Blackcherry. I won’t deny it. But I want to matter.” “I won’t call you evil for wanting to matter,” said Cheerilee. She reached out a hoof and put it on Notary’s. “I just think you’re misguided, for not understanding how you already have. In good ways... and, yes, in bad. I can’t erase that. But you do matter, Natalia, and you always have.” Notary was silent for a few moments. “Am I one of your students now?” she said at last. “Just an old friend. Whom I think has made some mistakes... big mistakes, even... but still an old friend.” Cheerilee caught her gaze. “You are incredibly talented, Natalia. You know so much. You have an eidetic memory. You have such drive, and determination, and when you set your mind on something nothing can stop you. If you wanted to, you could do so much good in the world.” Cheerilee smiled slightly. “Isn’t that what you really want? Not just to ‘matter’, but to change the world for the better? I remember our adventures in college. I remember the smile you tried to hide once we got Sunshine Grace’s necklace back. I remember when we talked about being professional do-gooders after college, how even you couldn’t fully convince yourself it was all a joke.” She leaned forward. “I can’t deny that you lost your way, Natalia. But if you get back on the right path, you could help so many ponies, whatever career you choose. If that’s what you want? It’s possible, Natalia. I know it.” Natalia looked away. “I’m surprised at your forgiveness after what I put you through.” “I’ve made mistakes too. Like... when I contacted your family, to find your address a few months ago. That was how I found out you worked for Greengrass, because they gave me, as your address, his estate in Caneighda. But also... they mentioned how you had tried to write me after college. How I was so overwhelmed -- teaching foals is much harder than any job we ever pulled in the city -- that I kept putting off my responses. Maybe if I’d kept in touch more things would have been different.” “Wait.” Notary shook her head. “I may be... I have done bad things. They are not your fault.” “No, but as your friend -- as old friends -- maybe I could have done more.” Cheerilee shrugged. “I don’t know. We can’t change the past, and we’ll both have to live with what we’ve done. I just know that, even after what you did... there’s still good in you, and so much ability to turn that good into something that helps other ponies. If you just stop worrying so much about making sure nopony else can do what you do, trust me -- you’ll do so much that all the world will know your name.” Natalia wasn’t able to respond, but Cheerilee could see her soft smile in the reflection of the polished mahogany table. “Now. Where are you staying?” “I am not... I mean, I had planned to make you sign the annulment papers today, and leave on an evening train to return to Moscolt. I have no residence in town.” Cheerilee rose. “Alright. You’re staying with me for a few days, until you get back on your hooves.” “What?” Notary’s mouth dropped. “But -- but I cannot--” “Look, if we’re married, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with us sharing a house.” Cheerilee giggled. “Come on. Everything else aside... I really would like to catch up with you. And if you start lapsing back into your existential angst, I want to be able to hit you with a newspaper.” “Will you pour cider on me again?" said Notary. "After that one prom--" “Hey, the psych journal said that was a legitimate way to enforce discipline.” Notary managed a soft chuckle. “I wouldn’t feel right, Blackcherry. I’ve hurt you. And your friends--” “I forgive you, and they don’t get a vote who I bring into my house,” said Cheerilee. “Now, come on.” *** Notary paused as they stepped outside. “...I just realized, I dropped my saddlebag outside the schoolhouse.” “Was anything important in it?” "The annulment papers." Notary frowned. "They should be fine, unless the foals damaged them for some reason." Cheerilee hesitated. "Um..." *** "What do you mean, I missed out? I wanted to help Miss Cheerilee too!" complained Firelock. She was standing in her bedroom, looking upset. "I can't believe Mom grounded me today, of all days! On helping-Miss-Cheerilee day! It's awful!" Tootsie Flute shrugged. "Sorry. But we put together a big picnic lunch for them, and now they like each other!" She smiled apologetically. "All that's left is to return Miss Notary's saddlebag. Apple Bloom had it, but she's got chores now, so she asked me to deliver it. But I don't know where they are..." Firelock was already opening the saddlebag and rooting through it. "Apples... apples... hey, papers!" She took one out. "Annulment? What's that?" Tootsie Flute squeaked. "Annulment? That's what makes married ponies not be allowed to see each other anymore! I read about it in a book!" "So... this paper's why Miss Cheerilee was upset?" asked Firelock. "Well, then, I can help after all! I know what to do!" Tootsie Flute was about to object that it might not work quite like that when Firelock grabbed the papers from the saddlebag, dumped them onto her floor, and then began to charge her horn. It glowed brightly, almost seeming to swell with power, and then-- When the smoke cleared and Tootsie Flute could hear again, she was staring at a charcoal-coated Firelock, who looked rather abashed. "Okay, maybe I didn't know what to do." Tootsie Flute could only blink. "...at least the mean forms are destroyed?" Tootsie Flute put a hoof on her head. "Maybe your Mom should have grounded you for two days." *** "...I'm sure they're fine! But, just in case, I'll write the appropriate offices and get them to send replacements," said Cheerilee. "What could have happened to them?" asked Notary. "Oh, you know... Ponyville things. Anyway! Let me show you my house!" *** It was a nice house, Notary thought. Perhaps a few too many goldfish. But otherwise, she concluded, it was comfortable enough. “I can sleep on the couch,” said Notary. “What, as my guest? I’ll take the couch,” said Cheerilee. Notary raised an eyebrow. “...is this some scheme to get us to agree to both take the bed?” “Why, would you like that?” teased Cheerilee. Notary blushed scarlet. “Er...” Cheerilee laughed. “Just kidding! Seriously, though, you take the bed. You’re my guest. It’s only proper.” And so Notary found herself alone in Cheerilee’s bedroom, still struggling to comprehend all that had happened to her in the past few hours. Blackcherry’s being so friendly... like I’m back in college again... *** “Yay!” said Cheerilee, beaming. “We showed that corrupt officer who’s boss!” Truncheon was a Guard who often patrolled the university neighborhood. He had enjoyed hassling the students, giving them a hard time and taking any excuse to write them up for citations. He was pushing eighty and had a deep and abiding hatred of ‘foals these days.’ But he’d gone too far when Cheerilee had seen him taking a payoff from one of the slimier students, an older one who had come back to university after three consecutive businesses failed, who was widely suspected of dealing in crib sheets and term papers. And so Cheerilee and Notary had carefully set up a plan, carried it out, and Truncheon and the student had been tricked into conducting another payoff in full view of the Dean and a captain of the Guard. And the students wouldn’t be harassed by Truncheon anymore, and academic honesty was restored. Notary smiled briefly. “We did a good job.” “We sure did!” Cheerilee sprang up on her hind legs and dropped over Notary, giving her a hug and a peck on the cheek. “We’re awesome!” Notary laughed. “You’re feeling touchy-feely today, aren’t you?” “You bet! Let’s celebrate!” And they did. *** Notary carefully lay back on the bed. She suddenly felt very weary. Her rapid flight from Canterlot, her discovery of the marriage, her chase in Ponyville... it was exhausting, physically and emotionally. But at least she had a place to stay while she decided what to do next. “Thank the stars for old friends,” she said, and collapsed into a deep sleep. Author's Note The chapter title, 'Remission', is being used with its definition of 'forgiving and canceling a debt.' As opposed to something like cancer. Just FYI. You know, I think Cheerilee is a very nice pony. Looks like Cutie Mark Failure Syndrome has claimed another victim. Poor Notary. I also like how she seems to be overestimating Luna's power. Honestly, I think that turning all ponies into... uh, whatever those things are that she described... would take a little more effort than an eyeblink. My favorite bit here was writing Cheerilee talking to Notary, and explaining that, while she can't forget the bad things Notary did, she cares for her enough to forgive her and even help her back on her hooves, and how that offer of hope helps stop Notary from giving up and going home in disgrace. I love writing a scene in which two separated folks make up. :-) Sorry, turns out we didn't get to wrapping up Trixie's story in this chapter -- my bad. I couldn't get it to fit right. But we'll definitely do it in the next one, since that's the epilogue, after all. We'll learn more about what actually happened to Greenie in 'The Duke Abides,' which I'm writing as a side-story set earlier in this season. Anachronistic order for the win! ReturnA few days passed in relative peace. Cheerilee returned home from another exciting set of lessons with her eager foals. “Notary!” she chirped. “Did you have a fun day?” Notary poked her head out of the kitchen. “I suppose. I spent most of it at the library, but I also finished the front of your house.” Cheerilee looked around and noted the sparkling-clean living room. “You really don’t need to do this,” she protested. “I want to,” said Notary, simply. “I am staying at your house rent-free... I want to help you.” Cheerilee smiled. Even though other ponies could do it? she thought, but did not ask. A special talent is what a pony loves to do. You want to matter and make a difference, Notary. Even when you got your cutie mark, it was after you'd helped a writer produce his final work, which I bet he could never have done if not for you. Call it 'changing the world' or 'making a difference' or just 'mattering', I'll bet that's your talent. Not 'recording the deeds of others.' But Notary would need to discover this on her own -- she certainly hadn't agreed when Cheerilee had broached the subject over the past few days. So she just said, “Thank you, then," as she smiled at her former roommate. "It looks wonderful." The teacher entered the kitchen, where Notary -- wearing a maid’s outfit that she’d found in Cheerilee’s closet; it looked kind of frilly but Notary said that it helped keep her coat clean while she dusted or swept -- served Cheerilee’s favorite kind of tea and a few fresh pieces of sliced fruit. Honestly, I could kind of get used to having her as a maid, thought Cheerilee, with another smile. She knew Notary wouldn’t go for that long-term, and she knew Notary’s passions lay elsewhere... but a mare could dream. “What were you studying in the library?” “What to do next,” said Notary. “It was... interesting... to do nothing for three days, but I think I’m read to get back into the world. I just had to decide what to do.” “What did you decide?” “Of my legitimate skills, I would probably be most useful as a functionary in some local government,” said Notary. “I have experience that I gained with Greengrass and also from study. I was looking for towns that need somepony like me... somepony who has an encyclopedic knowledge of the law, the diligence and industry to help solve problems, and so forth.” She paused. “There are some towns and cities... even small provinces... in Equestria that are not doing as well as others. Some due to changes in industry, some due to the shift in focus caused by Corona's return, a few because their nobles are neglectful. I want to go to one of those towns and turn it around.” “Notary, that’s wonderful,” said Cheerilee. “Which one did you pick?” “Bitsberg. It's one of the smallest provinces in the nation; it consists of one industrial town and its outlying farms. It was largely neglected by its noble, the former Baronetess of Bitsberg, and its industry was slowly supplanted by Detrot, Stalliongrad, and two or three other cities. That only accelerated once Corona returned and the government began focusing more on military contracts, none of which Bitsberg was able to obtain. For the past several years, Bitsberg’s had less and less industry with every financial quarter. The town is collapsing -- first it was just the factories, but by now the farms are falling apart, and even the city's infrastructure is breaking down, from the streets to its one rail line.” She paused. “I think I can save it. There are laws they can use, ancient ones that few ponies besides myself know, but that are still in effect and can be used to obtain some government support. There are some procedures they can take... ordinances, and so forth, to make the citizens use what they have in more efficient ways. I can help them. I can save that town.” “Without,” said Cheerilee, her tone underscoring her words, “Any of Greengrass’s kind of actions, I hope.” “Yes. No weeding. No destroying the weak as fertilizer for the strong. Just good, honest work for a town that needs me.” Notary nodded slowly. “They have no leader at this moment. Bitsberg has no Representative; because the town and the province are the same, the duties of the Representative were folded into those of the Baronetess to save money. But the Baronetess of Bitsberg has just been removed from her position due to her neglect of her province. The position is currently vacant, so there is nopony to advocate for the town in the national government. As for the Lord, he has given up hope and does not know how to use whatever power he has to help his town.” She lowered her head. “I can help the Lord and its citizens. I can save the town... and perhaps, now, with the threat of the Tyrant, it might be even beyond Luna’s power to focus on every little--” “Stop,” said Cheerilee. “You can’t worry about that, Notary. Do you think the citizens of that town will care whether Luna could have saved them but didn’t bother, or whether she couldn’t in the first place? All that matters is that they be saved. If you can do that... that would be a great deed, Notary. It would matter.” “I have to try,” said Notary. “I realize now that I have not wanted anything as badly as I want to save this city. All that work with Greengrass, it was... interesting... but this matters to me in a way none of that did.” She bowed her head. “Thank you for helping me to understand what I was missing.” “I’m a teacher, Natalia. It’s what we do.” Cheerilee smiled. “I do hope you’ll say goodbye to the class, though. They’ll want to know what happened to my wife.” “Speaking of that...” Notary sighed. “The forms are lost. I think the foals somehow destroyed them or let them fly off into the breeze. They would take some time to get here from Canterlot; it will require requisitioning official records. I--” “Don’t worry about it,” said Cheerilee. “You do what you need to do. When the forms arrive, I’ll fill them out and mail them to you. We’ll get it sorted. But please don’t let papers that even you barely care about anymore stop you from your dream.” “I won’t. Thank you.” The two were silent for a moment. “So! What else did you do today?” asked Cheerilee. “I cleaned your living room, dusted the shelves, swept the floor... oh, and I alphebatized your fish,” said Notary. Cheerilee blinked. “...what was that last one?” “Your fish. They were out of order, so I rearranged them appropriately.” Cheerilee blinked. “Uh.” But... but some of them like the sun! And some like shade! Now the shady ones might be in the sun and vice versa! I have to fix this! "...and also civic administration." "What?" asked Cheerilee, realizing that Notary had been talking even as her thoughts drifted to her fish. "What do you mean by--" And then somepony began pounding on Cheerilee's door. Cheerilee hurried over and opened it, only to almost be run over by Trixie and Twilight Sparkle. "Hi Cheerilee!" called Trixie as they ran. "Sorry! Emergency!" "What?" managed Cheerilee. “What’s going on?” “Magic emergency!” said Trixie. “Come on... hurry up, Twilight!” “I’m working on it!” said a flustered Twilight. “Let’s just... there!” One of Cheerilee’s doors, the one to her bathroom, glowed yellow. Notary looked at Cheerilee as they followed the two unicorns into the hallway. “Is this normal?” “...kind of. Usually not both of them at once,” said Cheerilee. To them, she said, “I want to know--” The unicorns' horns glowed brightly, the door burst open... and Mayor Ivory Scrolls fell out. Cheerilee stared blankly. "We summoned her back!" said Twilight, beaming. "Told you it would be easy to reverse the spell once we identified her location!" “Mayor Scrolls!” said Trixie, ignoring Twilight utterly as she helped the mayor to her hooves. "Are you alright?" “I’m fine,” said Scrolls, woozily getting up. She was wearing a viking hat and had a big mace slung in one of her saddlebags. On her barrel she wore silvery metal armor. Twilight gasped. “Did Trixie send you back to Viking times?" "Twilight, I--" "Did you have to fight and wage war to survive?" "Twilight, I--" "I’m so sorry, Mayor Scrolls! I would never have helped her learn that spell otherwise! I didn’t mean to force you to become a barbarian chief and pillage the coastal cities! I--” “Twilight Sparkle!” said Mayor Scrolls. “Trixie sent me to Coneigh Island. These are from a gift shop.” She took off the helmet, which had a label indicating it had been made in Detrot. “They aren’t real.” There was a pause for a few moments. “Oh,” said Twilight. “Well... at least it's not as bad as becoming an actual Viking?” "Hey!" said Trixie. "Coneigh Island is six hours from here by train!" She paused. "They have a telegraph! Why didn't you tell anypony where you were?" "I telegraphed my family." "Why didn't you telegraph me? Or just come home on your own?" "That would have cost money which I would have had to bill to the town, since it was as part of my duties that I participated in your experiment at all." Scrolls smiled serenely. "And I was confident that you would find a way to extract me without the town expending additional revenue. Besides, while I was there I took advantage of the opportunity to try to bolster our town's tourism industry." "Tourism?" "Well, it seems many ponies are interested in meeting the Elements. Especially you. I talked with some of the tour group managers at Coneigh Island, and was able to set up some tours. They'll bring in trainfuls of ponies to Ponyville to take their photographs with an Element, eat, shop, and maybe even invest in local businesses! Of course, it is contingent on finding a willing Element to talk to these groups..." Trixie's ears perked up. "Which groups? Amateur magicians? Foals? Courtiers?" "I believe the first tour has ponies from the Retirement Home for Elderly Ponies who Love Garlic." Trixie opened her mouth, then shut it. After a few moments, she sighed and said, "I suppose I'd look like a complete prat if I said 'no' to that after I accidentally sent you all the way to another province." Scrolls said nothing. "...alright, fine." Scrolls beamed. "Have a good day Miss Sparkle, Miss Punch, Miss... um, maid pony. Dame Trixie, the first tour group arrives in four days at nine o'clock in the morning sharp." She began to leave. "Oh, and one last thing. If this ever happens again, check before summoning somepony back from somewhere. I was on a date with a very nice carnival barker.” And she left. Trixie groaned. “...sorry to barge in, Cheerilee. The return spell picked a random door in town; we couldn't control which one it was. I think we can safely safe that Abracascooby wasn’t the great wizard he was cracked up to be." She turned to Twilight. "Thanks." "No problem! Happy to help." The two unicorns began to leave, the earth ponies staring as they left. Twilight was asking, "Does this happen often?" "No, of course not!" Trixie forced a laugh. "Why?" "Well, I had a little time to talk to my alternate self in that other world, and she said things like this happened about twenty-four times a year to her, often during weekend mornings. She had a theory..." The two left, Twilight still talking about the other-world's Twilight. Cheerilee and Notary looked at each other for a moment. "That is what I meant by 'civic administration,'" said Notary at last. "Mayor Scrolls' actions while in Coneigh--" "Talk later." Cheerilee began to head back to her kitchen. "Cider now." *** “You’re leaving?” said Scootaloo, sounding completely horrified. “But why? Don’t you love Miss Cheerilee?” The two mares were addressing Cheerilee’s class (Notary no longer in her maid outfit). Notary had just told them she would be leaving on the next train west. “Miss Cheerilee and I are friends,” said Notary, enunciating each word carefully. “Very good friends. We are... we are not in love. But we still do care for each other, and that will not change, however far apart we are.” “Then why leave?” protested Apple Bloom. “Can’t you stay here?” Cheerilee and Notary looked at each other, and Notary bowed her head slightly. “In the first place, I have hurt ponies in this town. I am not proud of this, and I am sorry. But the fact remains. I do not deserve to remain here.” “But we’ll forgive you!” protested Sweetie Belle. “We won’t split you and Miss Cheerilee up over that!” “Second,” said Notary, “I have things I want to accomplish. I cannot accomplish them here. Your teacher, she has more talent than I. She can influence the world and improve it right here, in Ponyville, by teaching all of you. Me, I must go elsewhere to change the world for the better.” She nodded firmly. “But I will change it. I will improve it. And when I do... then I will be able to return here, and see you all again. Miss Cheerilee included.” “... so you’re going away to become worthy of Miss Cheerilee?” said Sweetie Belle, eyes shining. “That’s so romantic!” “It’s like a big heroic quest!” said Scootaloo. Notary smiled. “I am glad you all understand. We both appreciate the effort you put in towards effecting our reconciliation, and of course, I also understand how much of that is due to Miss Cheerilee’s diligent instruction. You are very lucky to have the teacher you do.” A few of the foals were sniffing back tears. "They're so lovely!" whispered Sweetie Belle. Notary bowed. “Thank you for the hospitality you have shown me. I do plan to return someday.” And she began to walk out the door. “BYE, MISS NOTARY!” The foals yelled. Cheerilee quickly stepped before the class. “Ah, one more thing, class,” she said. “Miss Notary is wrong.” Notary froze. So did the foals. “What she plans to do after leaving Ponyville is... noble. Valiant. A good and laudable deed, and I applaud her decision. But she has made one mistake,” said Cheerilee. “She said that she needs to leave Ponyville to matter. But she already matters.” Notary frowned. “Blackcherry--” “She matters not just because of our college adventures, or her... deeds subsequent to that. She matters, just as I matter, and you all matter, because we are all friends.” Cheerilee smiled slightly, but her tone was still serious. “What do friends do? They make each other feel happy, and stop each other from feeling sad. They laugh and cry together. They share, and they help, and they love. Without friendship, nothing else matters. Would any of us really want wealth, or fame, or power, without any friends to share it with? But with friendship, all else is possible. Only with friendship can a nation be built, or a city be saved, or any other great deed performed. Notary, your friendships, with me -- and with, perhaps, a few of the students -- have already mattered far more than you know.” (Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes. “This is so lame,” she muttered to Silver Spoon.” Scootaloo’s eyes were watering. “That’s so beautiful!” she whispered. Diamond Tiara blinked. “I agree!” she told Scootaloo. Silver Spoon put a hoof to her face.) Notary paused. “I don’t agree,” she said. “You define mattering differently than I do; I speak in a more... cosmic sense. But... but I think that, when I am away, I will find out. One way or the other. And I swear I will be back someday to tell you my answer.” Cheerilee walked over and embraced her. “I’ll be waiting,” she said. And she whispered in her ear, “Be careful, and stay safe. Don’t act as Greengrass would have you act, and don’t sell yourself short. You matter more than you understand. And remember... you are always welcome here. Even if Bitsberg doesn’t work out; even if it fails completely. You have a home here.” “I know,” replied Notary, eyes misting over. “You were a better friend than I deserved... I will do what I can to honor our friendship.” The two embraced for a few moments more. The class was openly crying by now, and Sweetie Belle kept repeating how beautiful it all was. Finally, Notary had to break the hug. “My train departs soon,” she said. “Thank you all, again. For everything.” “Ooh! Ooh!” said Snips. Cheerilee frowned. “Yes, Snips?” “Are you two still married?” The two looked at each other, and then both chuckled. Cheerilee said, “I don't know. But what does it matter? We’re friends. That’s what matters.” *** “GRADUATION!” screamed hundreds of ponies. Cheerilee grinned as she sniffed the air. She could already feel it. The release of tension, the dissipation of all that final exam stress. She could hardly wait to start hitting the bars and the clubs. But she had one errand first, and so she made her way to the train station. “Natalia!” she called, seeing her friend in line to buy tickets. Notary turned. “Blackcherry,” she said. “Congratulations. I heard you were in the top 1% of the class.” “You were there too,” said Cheerilee. “Do you have to go home right away?” “My father wants me to look into some jobs back in Moscolt.” Notary shrugged. “I would have liked to stay a little longer, but... well, does it matter? We can keep in touch wherever we are. We’re friends.” “Friends,” said Cheerilee, touching her hooves. And so they were. And that was what truly mattered. Author's Note It may be the case that the entire Scrolls subplot was an excuse to get her into Viking armor. :-) So Notary's off to Bitsberg! I have a feeling she'll do well there. And maybe we'll see her again. Heck, maybe I'll even write that story. 'The Comptroller of Bitsberg' could be fun. I did leave Notary in town for a few days in case anyone wants to write a story with someone else in Ponyville meeting her. Trixie's presumably occupied with finding the mayor, but if someone, I dunno, wants to have Scootaloo or Pokey or somepony bump into her, there's an opportunity. RepastAs the Friendship Express pulled into the train station, most of its passengers were already picking up their luggage and moving to the train's doors. One, however, remained seated and motionless even as the train began to slow down. It wasn't that this pony was staying on the line past Ponyville; that town was indeed this pony's destination. Nor was this pony ambivalent about her trip -- in fact, this particular pony wanted to reach Ponyville more than any other on the train. It was, rather, a sort of weariness that stopped this pony from rushing to the doors so as to burst out of the train as soon as possible. The final step of a journey did not need to be taken with the same haste as all the rest. It's been a long road, the pony mused as the train slowed further. I've been all over Equestria. Rushia, South Everfree, Hyasanguia, Latigo, Palomino... and Canterlot of course. I've worked every kind of odd job there was, from clerk to journalist to spy. Even spent time in the Court. And now it's almost over. A long, slow breath hissed out of the pony's muzzle. One more job. Then I'm going home at last. The train was now crawling towards the platform. The pony finally rose, taking a single piece of luggage -- a plain, unassuming saddlebag -- while doing so. How many ponies have I worked for? But this time, it's just me. No employer, no ulterior motivation. Just righting a wrong. The train stopped at last, and the pony approached and exited through the nearest door, ignored by all the other passengers. Blackcherry Lee Punch, I will have my revenge, and nothing will stand in my way! I-- "HI!" The pony suddenly saw nothing but a large pink face that was smiling brilliantly. "You're the forty-fourth and one-fourth pony to come into Ponyville today! You win a fantastic PARTY!" The pony looked down, saw the platform, and then looked back into the... strange... pony who was smiling so brightly. "One fourth?" It was all the pony could think to say to that. "Yep! You're on the first train, and forty-three ponies got off before you! Plus that stallion!" She pointed to a stallion who was indeed about one-quarter of the way out of the train, apparently having gotten that far before deciding he needed something from the saddlebag he was rooting through. The crowd behind him began to grumble, to no avail. "So! You win a fabulous party! Let's go!" cheered the pony. "Right this way!" "But... but I have this revenge to--" "No time for chatter! Time for PARTY!" Pinkie began to drag the other pony away. "There'll be cake and pie and ice cream and sprinklers! Ooh, and streamers! Lots of streamers!" And the pony was helpless to resist. *** My little pony, My little pony Ahh ahh ahh ahhh... My little pony – Friendship never meant that much to me My little pony – But you're all here and now I can see Stormy weather; Lots to share A musical bond; With love and care Teaching laughter; It’s an easy feat, And magic makes it all complete! You have my little ponies – How’d I ever make so many true friends? *** "Uh oh," said Lyra. "Unhappy foals, three o'clock." Trixie looked up from her hot chocolate. After talking with Twilight, she had spent a few days designing a new spell that could have vast and wide-ranging applications (at least insofar as allowing ponies to sleep in for longer, which she wholeheartedly supported). Having finished, she was at Bonbon's for her celebratory hot chocolate, but even the tantalizing treat couldn't keep her from helping to keep Ponyville's youngest residents happy. After all, helping others was part of what friendship was all about! "Which ones?" she asked, turning to the window. "Looks like Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle," said Lyra. "Over there, by the town fountain." "No worries. I'm on it." "That's a reason to worry," joked Bonbon. Trixie stuck out her tongue, then trotted out of the door. The two foals were moving along in a dejected fashion. "I just don't know what to do!" squeaked Sweetie Belle. "Without her, nopony can answer our question!" "We'll think of something," said Scootaloo. "If we have to, I'll scoot over to Canterlot and find somepony there to answer it!" "You can't really scoot to Canterlot. It's up a mountain. Mountains aren't scootable!" Scootaloo grinned. "Wanna bet?" "Hi girls!" said Trixie, trotting up to them. "How are you doing?" "Not good, Dame Trixie," said Sweetie Belle. "We have a really big question we really need answered, but we don't know the answer! Or even how to find the answer! So we don't know what to do!" Trixie smiled. "Well," she said. "Maybe I could help you." The two foals looked at each other. "Hey, yeah!" said Scootaloo. "Sweetie Belle, I bet Trixie could help us!" Sweetie Belle began to bounce. "You're right! She's a knight, after all. She's got to be able to help!" "Of course I can help!" Trixie grinned. "So, what's your question?" "Where's Miss Cheerilee?" both foals asked at once. Trixie blinked. "That's your question?" "No," said Scootaloo. "We need to know where she is so we can ask her our question." "She's the smartest pony in Ponyville!" said Sweetie Belle. "Except for my sister--" "And Rainbow Dash!" "Right. But she's not at her house and we can't find her anywhere. But you can help us, right? You can find out where she is?" Trixie stared at them, feeling almost like she was deflating. "You know, um, maybe I could answer your question?" Both foals shook their heads. "It's really more of a Miss Cheerilee question," said Sweetie Belle. With a sigh, Trixie said, "I think she said she would be eating brunch at her sister's pop shop today." "Yay!" The foals began to run off. "Thanks, Dame Trixie! You're a big help!" Trixie watched them go, then returned to the candy shop. "Another hot chocolate," she told Bonbon. "And with extra bourbon." *** “It’s not true!” insisted Apple Bloom, shaking her head vehemently. “It can’t be true!” “Oh, but it is!” said Snips. “The Great and Powerful Snails... Snailsini confirms it!” “You can’t call him that,” said Featherweight. “Why not?” “Trixie trademarked it.” Snails frowned. “Then I’m the REALLY Great and Powerful Snailsini, and I confirm it!” Cheerilee trotted up to the scene, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle behind her. Over a dozen foals were gathered by the large apple tree near the school playground. Most were standing, but Snails -- wearing a large Saddle Arabian turban -- was sitting down, eyes closed and legs crossed. Two piles of apples lay near his hooves. He looked happy, but some of the other foals didn't."Good morning, class!" said Cheerilee. "What's going on?" “Miss Cheerilee!" said Apple Bloom. "Snails said that he can talk to bugs and worms and so he can tell us which apples have worms in them!” “I can!” Snails examined the first of two fresh apples that Tootsie Flute floated in front of him. “Mmm-hmm... mmm-hmm... okay, this one’s clear!” He looked at the other apple, his turban almost falling into his eyes. “Ah, this one’s got a big worm!” “Eeek!” said Twist, scampering to hide behind Cheerilee. “Is it a mean worm?” “No, but it’s a hungry one! It says that it’s going to eat the whole apple.” Snails nodded. “And it’s going to invite all its little wormy friends to eat apples too!” He waved his hooves. “The worms will break free from the earth, and will swarm over the town, eating all the apples! And then--” “No they won’t! Ma sister will keep ‘em away!” insisted Apple Bloom. “Sides, ya can’t figure out which apples have worms in them. Nopony can do that, not even ma sister, an’ she knows all there is ta know about apple de-wormin’!” She turned to Cheerilee. “Ain’t that right, Miss Cheerilee? It ain’t possible ta figure out which apples have worms in them by listenin’, is it?” Cheerilee walked into the center of the foals. She made a note of the ones that were there -- Apple Bloom and her friend Twist, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, Snips and Snails, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, Featherweight (now photographing Snails), Beebop (now banging two sticks together), and Alula. “Alright, class,” she said, merrily. “I think--” “Class?” interrupted Snips, a horrified expression crossing his face. “But it’s the weekend! We can’t have class! That’s not fair! It might even be illegal!” Cheerilee looked at him. “Well, maybe not illegal. But it’s still not fair! My head’s already full from the week!” He rapped on it a few times to demonstrate. “But Snips, every day is a great opportunity to learn something new!” said Cheerilee, face as smiley as her cutie mark. “Isn’t that right?” “Uh huh!” said Twist, from her vantage point of safety behind her teacher. “Now,” said Cheerilee, motioning the foals to close around the apple tree. “Snails has made a claim that he can detect which apples have worms in them. How do you think we could test this claim?” The foals paused. “You could just tell us if he’s right or not?” asked Scootaloo, a big smile on her face. “Ah, but then what would you do if I wasn’t around?” asked Cheerilee. “Don’t you want to be able to solve these kinds of problems yourself?” Scootaloo put a hoof to her chin and stroked it thoughtfully. “...I dunno. Would it help me go as fast as Rainbow Dash?" Cheerilee reflected that there was a time when that answer would have seemed odd, but she had worked with Ponyville foals for quite some time now. “No. But... it's good to have goals!” “We could cut open an apple and check?” asked Twist. “More than one,” said Featherweight. “In case he just gets really lucky with the first one!” “A very good idea!” said Cheerilee. “We can take a few apples, have Snails predict if they have worms, and then test them to see if they really do. If Snails is right, then maybe he really can detect apple worms. If not, then maybe he’s hearing something else--” “Like the voices in his head,” muttered Diamond Tiara. Cheerilee frowned at her. “Diamond Tiara, that’s not nice. Even if Snails is wrong, that doesn’t make him crazy or a bad pony. Everypony makes mistakes sometimes.” “Even you, Miss Cheerilee?” asked Dinky, who had only just arrived and had only heard her teacher’s last few words. Cheerilee paused, thinking back to her college days. *** “Alright!” screamed the host. “Now, Thirster has just set a new record for our little bar’s annual Cidermania challenge!” The crowed screamed and appluaded the brawny earth pony stallion, who was wobbling quite a bit as he staggered off the stage. “He managed to drink nine-tenths of a keg of our pure, grade-A, knock-you-on-your-flank cider!” “Thirster! Thirster! Thirster!” screamed the crowd. “Does anypony dare to take on his record? Does anypony dare to drink a full keg of cider!” “I DO!” The crowd gasped and turned to a magenta-coated pony with a frazzled pink mane and a dozen piercings in various places. Cheerilee grinned as she swaggered towards the stage. “Name’s Blackcherry Lee Punch, and I’ve never met a pony I couldn’t outdrink!” “Woah!” cried the host. “Quite a boast. Well, ma’am, you know the drill. If you win this challenge and beat all other contenders, you get a drink free every day this year! But if you lose, all you get’s a nasty hangover!” Cheerilee grinned. “I won’t lose.” She hopped up onto the stage. “Cider me!” “BLACKCHERRY!” screamed the bar patrons as the host began passing her mugs of cider, which she gulped down one after the other. “Is this it?” she asked. “Hah! This is weak stuff. I could probably drink TWO kegs!” The host grinned. “Oh yeah?” “Blackcherry! Blackcherry! Blackcherry!” shouted the crowd. “Yeah!” responded Cheerilee, wiping her mouth on the back of her leg. “Seriously? This stuff is weak. By tomorrow morning it won’t be affecting me at all.” *** As it turned out, that was not true. “My head hurts...” the magenta-coated pony groaned. In retrospect, she thought, maybe a full keg was a little much. Sure, it had been worth it -- she could get a free drink every night for a year, which would be a great pick-up line with the mares and stallions on the quad -- but it would be nice if the air stopped hitting her with magical invisible hammers. The door opened and a pony softly trotted into the room. “Here,” said a voice. A mug of something was shoved in front of her. Cheerilee gratefully drank the liquid, a sweet tea that mildly alleviated her nausea and hangover. “Thanks." “Mmm.” “I wasn’t interrupting your homework, was I?” “Yes, actually,” said Cheerilee’s roommate. She was a white-coated mare who smiled little, spoke less, and spent most of her time buried in books. She was so unobtrusive that Cheerilee sometimes forgot about her entirely, and she still wasn't quite sure of her name. “Won’t happen again," the magenta-coated pony managed. “You said that last time. Three days ago.” There was a pause. “And if I had a bit for every time you said that, I could fund this semester’s tuition. I counted.” “But... but they offered me free cider if I won!” protested Cheerilee. “I couldn’t resist that!” “Yes, because more cider is just what you need.” Cheerilee turned away, hoping her headache would subside. She still had an economics paper to finish, and a math test to study for, both would take at least a few hours, and botching either of those would imperil her ‘A’ average. Plus, she’d promised to help Hunky Hoof work on his history project too. “Well, this time I mean it. No more drinking entire kegs in one sitting.” And she would have kept that promise too, but not only did she get all her work done in record time, but the biggest bar in the neighborhood put out a notice that night offering a free set of frisbees to whoever could drink the most mugs of extra-concentrated cider. It wasn’t fair, thought Cheerilee, as she signed up. Sometimes the world was just too tempting. *** Cheerilee smiled. “Even me. But -- that’s a topic for another day. For now, class, let’s check these apples! And be polite to each other too, please.” Diamond Tiara nodded sullenly, and then the other foals were hurrying around the tree to evaluate Snails’ claim. “Go on, go on, make a few predictions!” said Sweetie Belle. Snails put his hooves to his turban, and his ears to some apples. “No worm, no worm, no worm, no worm,” he said, pointing to four in turn. “There are all totally safe!” He paused. “I have spoken!” Within moments, the apples were taken down and examined. Scootaloo and Beebop opened theirs up by stepping on them. Diamond Tiara opened her saddlebag and took out a shining silver hammer, set with several expensive-looking jewels, which she used to break hers open without getting even the slightest bit messy. Snips ate his. “No worm!” said Scootaloo and Beebop at the same time. “Hmph,” said Diamond Tiara, also failing to find a worm. Snips burped. “I didn’t taste a worm!” he announced. I might need to speak with his parents. Again. Cheerilee paused for a moment. “Alright, class. Does this seem like a good experiment to you?” “Yes! And it showed I’m right!” cheered Snails. “I really can predict worminess!” He grinned. “Maybe I can predict other things too. Maybe I’m a psychic!” “Wait!” said Apple Bloom. “Maybe none of the apples in this tree have worms. Maybe ya got lucky.” Cheerilee smiled. “Very good, Apple Bloom. When testing something like this, it’s important to account for which choice -- in this case, worm or no worm -- is more likely to begin with, or a priori. Do you know how many apples have worms, on average, Apple Bloom?” Apple Bloom scrunched up her face in thought. “Ma sis said about eight percent fer this kind of apple.” Her eyes widened. “That means anypony could just guess ‘no worms’ for all of ‘em an’ be right nine times in ten!” She turned back to Snails. “Predict some that have worms, or Ah won’t believe ya.” “Wait,” said Twist. “Maybe we should break the apples into two groups first and have him test them at random, instead of letting him pick the easiest ones.” “If he says he’s hearing them, I can get some of Vinyl’s mikes to see if there’s any sound!” yelled Beebop. “Maybe he’s cheating and using magic, not listening,” said Silver Spoon suddenly. “Snails, take your turban off!” “But without it I lose all my Great -- I mean, my Really Great and Powerful powers!” Cheerilee grinned as she watched her foals discussing scientific procedure and experimental setup. She had taught them the basic a few weeks ago, and it was wonderful to see them applying what she’d discussed. Her foals were growing and learning, and she had wonderful friends to share her achievements and classroom adventures with. Everything was going fine. “Alright, alright!” said Snails. “Please, give the Really Great and Extraordinary Snailsini some space!” “I thought you were Really Great and Powerful,” said Sweetie Belle. “I’m both,” said Snails. “I... I am the Really Great and Powerful and Really Great and Extraordinary Snailsini! And awesome. And...” He turned to Cheerilee. “Miss Cheerilee, what are some other really good adjectives?” Dinky giggled. “If you’re really great, then predict some apples! I wanna see! And if you’re good at it I can pick some apples I know are good for my Momma later.” Cheerilee sat back and watched as her students continued to work out the experiment. Yes, she thought. Life was good. *** Apple Bloom galloped towards the town square, a big smile on her face and a big wagon trailing behind her. It had been a wonderful day so far. Miss Cheerilee had helped her disprove Snails, and she’d even called her smart and talented! And Scootaloo had been making funny jokes, and Sweetie Belle had said they could all go get some ice cream and taffee later, and even Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were being nicer than usual. In fact, the day hadn’t just been wonderful... it had almost been perfect! But the one thing the day lacked, the one thing preventing it from being perfect, was a big glass of her sister’s super-sweet, super-sugary, super-duper-delicious apple juice. (Granted, cider might have been better, but then all the adults had gotten really silly for a few days from drinking too much cider, and she didn’t really want to drink it anymore). And that was why Apple Bloom was running towards the market. Because she was thirsty, and so were her friends, and Cheerilee had helped them figure out how much each pony would have to pay for a big jug of cider, so Apple Bloom had collected the money and race off to order a set of drinks from her sister. Hey, does this mean I’m helping sell apples and apple acc... access... accessthingies? Yay! I’m helping my sister! And I should check with Miss Cheerilee what that word is again. As she raced into the market, she had to dodge around the slower adults who weren’t as good at getting out of her way. Fortunately, as a pony foal, she was quite capable of going left, right, and under the adults who took forever to get anywhere. Just skid under Rarity’s legs (and ignore her complaints about ‘hooliganism,’ whatever that meant), dodge around the Flower sellers and old Mr. Waddle, use a conveniently-placed ramp to hop over Filthy Rich, and there it was! Faithfully attended to by her big sister and big brother, the Sweet Apple Acres farm stand stood bold and bright, the best place in town to get the most delicious (and nutritious!) food. In fact, they seemed to have a customer at that very moment! Apple Bloom skidded to a halt just before she would have plowed into the pony, a white-coated mare with an eggshell-colored mane and tail and a party hat on her head. She was speaking with her sister, who was smiling at her. Apple Bloom smiled too. Another soon-to-be satisfied customer! Yay! “...no, Ah have ta admit Ah ain’t ever tried a... what’d ya call it? Pickled apple?” Applejack looked at Big Macintosh, who seemed to be struggling to hide a grin. “What?” “Nothing,” said Big Macintosh. The mare put her saddlebag on the counter and opened it up. “They’re a Moscolt specialty. Would you like to try one?” Apple Bloom blinked. The mare talked funny. She rolled her ‘r’s’ a lot, like she couldn’t seem to get them out of her mouth, and her other tones were almost clipped. Maybe she’s foreign! Maybe my sister’s talking to a foreign princess or something! Applejack looked over. “Oh, mornin’, Apple Bloom! Ya havin’ fun with all yar friends?” “Ah’m havin’ a blast!” said Apple Bloom. “We’re learning all about the scientific method!” She grinned. “Maybe Ah’ll be a brilliant scientist one day! Ah’ll be like... like as smart as Twilight! But focused on apples.” Applejack grinned. “Ya’d be a great scientist. Natalia, this is ma little sister, Apple Bloom.” The mare turned. She was smiling politely -- but there was something about her eyes, Apple Bloom noted. Her eyes looked serious and focused, like Twilight when she was learning a new spell, or Truffle Shuffle when he found out that somepony had filched his cookie. Or Scootaloo, when she saw a wall that she hadn’t climbed yet. The mare bowed slightly. “A pleasure to meet you,” she said. “My name is Natalia Rye...” A string of syllables followed. There were a lot of r’s and z’s, and Apple Bloom was lost at about letter thirty. How can her name be that long? It wouldn’t fit on her birth certificate! And what about her tests in school? She wondered if maybe Natalia got extra paper to account for this difficulty. “Introduce yarself,” urged Applejack to Apple Bloom. “Oh! Uh, Ah’m Apple Bloom. Pleasure ta meet ya, Miss Rye... Ryeuh... Miss Natalia,” said Apple Bloom. The pony seemed amused. “I also go by Notary.” “Oh! Then Ah’m pleased ta meet ya, Notary.” Apple Bloom grinned. “Ya've got a party hat -- are ya partyin'?" The pony glanced around nervously, as if expecting some party pony to ambush her from behind a tree. "No." She removed the hat. "I only have a few hours in Ponyville and cannot spend them partying." Apple Bloom smiled as nicely as she could. "But ya have time fer apples, right? Want ta buy some? Best in Equestria!” “I have been to a lot of places in Equestria,” said Notary, smiling a little. “But, as I was just explaining to your sister, I brought my own for my trip. We eat apples differently in Moscolt.” “Well, maybe we can prepare ‘em special for ya!” said Apple Bloom. She looked at Applejack. “There’s never been an apple recipe ma big sister couldn’t cook!” “This recipe takes forty days to prepare,” said Notary. Apple Bloom’s eyes widened as she wondered what kind of magical, delicious apple recipe would take forty whole days. “Wow! That’s a... a real long time!” She began to count on her hooves. “That’s more than five weeks!” Notary chuckled. “I have more than I need. I could let you have some.” Apple Bloom turned to her sister. “Oh, can Ah try one? Please please please?” “Uh,” said Big Macintosh. “Ah dunno, Apple Bloom. Moscolt pickled apples are--” “Hey, if Ah’m gonna be a great apple scientist some day, Ah’ll have ta know all about them, right?” urged Apple Bloom. Big Macintosh smiled. “Point.” Notary took three apples out of her saddlebag and gave one to each member of the Apple family. Applejack gave her a few in return. “Could hardly sample yar wares without offerin’ some of mine.” “Wares?... oh. I’m not an apple salesmare.” She paused. “I’m actually between jobs at the moment.” “What brings ya ta town, then?” asked Apple Bloom, sniffing the apple. It had a strong, vinegar-y scent. “Just visiting an old friend.” “Sorry Ah couldn’t help ya find her,” said Applejack. “Ah know where her house is, but if she ain't there Ah don't know where she might be. Maybe her sister's?" "No, I was just there..." Apple Bloom bit into the pickled apple, and her eyes widened. It was sour. It was like... well, like somepony had crossed an apple with a pickle. Which made sense, when she thought about it. “How do ya make these?” Notary looked at her. “You take an apple, coat it with a few herbs and spices...” Applejack picked hers up and took a big bite. “And then soak it in a vinegar-tarragon mixture for forty days,” said Notary. “Oh.” Apple Bloom looked at the apple. The taste made sense then, she supposed. “Well, Ah -- hey, Big Mac, stop snickerin’. That ain’t nice.” Big Macintosh put a hoof over his mouth, though he was unable to hide his smile. He’d already finished his apple, it seemed. “Sorry.” “Anyway, Ah wonder if Miss Cheerilee’s tried them?” Apple Bloom wondered. “She’s been all over the world--” Notary started. “Did you say, ‘Cheerilee?’” Her accent sounded a little more pronounced, like her control of her voice had slipped for a moment. “Yeah! She’s ma teacher, an’ she’s the best there is. She’s in the park.” Her eyes widened. “Oh! Ah bet she’s the old friend ya wanted ta see! Ah can take ya right to her! Ah bet she’d be thrilled ta see ya!” Notary bowed. “Thank you.” Apple Bloom quickly put the bits in the till and took a jug of apple juice, then began to hurry away with a big smile on her face-- she was going to reunite her teacher with a friend! It was going to be wonderful! “Just follow me!” she called as she ran. Behind her, she heard Notary rushing to keep pace. Big Macintosh smiled as they ran off, and then turned to Applejack. “Think we should pickle apples?” Applejack was standing still, almost frozen. Her jaw was locked with a bulge in it. Her face looked pained. “Uh, Applejack?” “Worst... apple... ever...” Applejack spat her bite out. "Who would put vinegar on a perfectly good apple?" "Who indeed?" The two were silent for a moment, and then Big Macintosh looked at his sister. "AJ?" "Yes?" "Ah can finish yours, right?" *** Notary’s face was calm and implacable as she hurried alongside Apple Bloom. She did not show any extreme emotion; she stayed calm, rather, and blended in as she always did. But on the inside, there was a fierce determination burning within her. I am wrapping up this loose end, she thought. It finishes today. Cheerilee... I’m coming for you. Her eyes narrowed slightly. That which you did to me so many years ago... at last, I will make it right. And I-- “So!” said Apple Bloom, gesturing with a hoof towards the park. “What did ya want ta see Miss Cheerilee for? Have ya seen her in a while?” “No.” “So it’s a long-time reunion?” “...yes.” “Awesome! Miss Cheerilee told ma once that seein’ an old friend makes for some of the best memories ever!” “Yes,” repeated Notary. “Yes, this is going to be... memorable. And nothing will stop me from seeing her." "Nothing?" "Nothing." "What if zombies attack?" Notary blinked. "...what?" Apple Bloom stopped running, apparently lost in thought. "Or what about timberwolves? Or what if Philomena comes back?" "If we could keep going--" But the foal's mind seemed to have switched tracks. "Hey, what if zombie Philomena came back? Would ya still see her? Or pirates! What if we got attacked by pirates?!" Apple Bloom's mouth dropped. "Or zombie pirates?" Notary blinked. This may be... harder than I thought. Author's Note I'm sure Pinkie won't mind a pony running out on her party at all. We'll find out what actually happened next chapter. But I think it's a safe bet to assume a lot of cider was involved. It's fun writing a silly story. Prepare for hijinks!
ReunionCheerilee was trying to explain to Truffle Shuffle why you couldn't grow apples with peanut butter and honey already on them when she heard a commotion starting behind her. Turning, she saw Alula shrinking under her wings while Diamond Tiara laughed. Her again... Cheerilee trotted up to them. "Diamond Tiara," she said. "You've made your classmate very sad. Apologize." Diamond Tiara sighed melodramatically. “Alula, I’m sorry.” “... for?” prompted Cheerilee. “For saying that you won’t be able to get a job when you’re older, because you can only be a princess and that job’s already taken.” “I don’t want to be a princess,” murmured Alula. “Maybe I could just make pots.” “Do they let princesses make pots?” wondered Scootaloo. “I bet Luna could make some awesome pots.” “Luna can do whatever she wants!” said Beebop. “She’s the princess. She could stand on her head all day and nopony could stop her. Or roll around with bugs and worms!” Snails’ eyes widened. “Oh! Now I want to be royalty!” Diamond Tiara opened her mouth, presumably to make another smart remark, but a glare from Cheerilee shut that down quickly. “Why wouldn’t you want to be a princess?” asked Sweetie Belle. “Wouldn’t it be cool for everything you did to be really important? You could set, like...” She seemed to be trying to think of the most important thing in the world. “Fashion trends!” Alula shrugged. “But I like pots. And it’d be fun to know that a whole lot of ponies were eating on plates that I made.” “But if you were the princess, you could conjure pots out of thin air!” said Sweetie Belle. “But... I like making them myself.” Alula smiled. “Dad got me some real high quality clay for my birthday. That was a lot of fun!” Dinky was helping Snails remove his turban, which had somehow gotten stuck. Cheerilee noted that it at least wasn’t on fire, which was an improvement over last weekend. “What do you want to be when you grow up, everypony?” Dinky asked. “Entymologist!” said Snails. “Fashion designer like my big sister!” said Sweetie Belle. “I’m gonna be a great musician!” screamed Beebop. “Everypony’ll listen to me! I’ll be in every concert hall!” “As the janitor,” whispered Silver Spoon, and she and her friend laughed. “Silver Spoon!” snapped Cheerilee. “I,” said Scootaloo, butting in, “Am gonna be an awesome Night Guard! Just like Mom!” She grinned. “I’ll keep ponies safe from all kinds of threats! I’ll make sure they’re all safe and happy!” “You can’t make sure everypony’s happy,” said Diamond Tiara. “There’s too many ponies.” “As many as I can then.” Scootaloo paused. “That’s what Mom did. I talked to some of the Night Guards that knew her after we all got lost in Canterlot a few months ago, and they said that she wasn’t just really brave at fighting off monsters, but she was always helping whenever another Guard or a castle pony was in trouble. Even if they were just sick.” “That’s a very good model for you to aspire to be like,” said Cheerile. “And I--” “Miss Cheerilee! Miss Cheerilee!” Cheerilee looked up and saw Apple Bloom approaching, with a vaguely familiar mare following her. Haven’t I seen her somewhere before? “Miss Cheerilee! This is Natalia Rye... uh... Notary! She said she’s an old friend of yours who wants ta chat!” Notary slowed as she looked at Cheerilee. “Blackcherry,” she said, her voice thick and tense. Cheerilee blinked. “Natalia?” Her eyes widened. “From... from the Oats and Stoats Dormitory?” Notary nodded slightly. Cheerilee stared for a moment, then turned to her class. “Class, this is my college roommate, Miss Notary.” She looked back at Notary. “What brings you to Ponyville? It’s been so long.” “I just wanted to catch up with an old friend,” said Notary. “May I borrow you for a few moments?” Cheerilee frowned in thought. “Of course...” she said, as she traced her memories back. She’d lost touch with Notary after college, as they'd both gone off on their own paths. They hadn't seen or written each other since then. Cheerilee had tried to resume contact with her more recently, after the whole mess in Oaten, but there had been some problem that she couldn’t quite remember that had prevented her from doing so... The teacher shook her head. That answer could wait. “Class, I’m going to go talk with Miss Notary for a little bit. Do you think you can handle yourselves?" “Yes, Miss Cheerilee!” they chorused. Cheerilee inclined her head at Notary. “The schoolhouse is just a block or so away. Shall we?” Notary nodded gravely. “Of course.” *** “Wow!” said Sweetie Belle. “Miss Cheerilee has an old friend!” “She looked funny,” said Silver Spoon. “Her coat was all white. Like Corona.” She shuddered. "Hey! My sister's coat is all white!" Sweetie Belle scowled. "And she's not like Corona at all!" “But her mane was white too,” said Featherweight. “And she had a really cool accent! She sounded like a spy! I read somewhere that ponies with accents like that were Rushian, and everypony knows there's a lot of Rushian spies!” Snips gasped. “Maybe she’s here to spy on us foals!” “Or maybe she’s going to spy on Miss Cheerilee!” said Beebop. “We should do something!” “Wait,” said Dinky. “Maybe she’s really just an old friend.” She grinned. “We should get Pinkie Pie! She’ll want to throw a big party!” “But we can’t throw her a party if she’s a spy,” protested Featherweight. Dinky frowned. “Miss Cheerilee trusts her, so we should too. Miss Cheerilee's a really smart pony!” Scootaloo hopped up on a convenient tree stump. “Alright. Here’s what we’ll do,” she said, her little voice rattling out orders with the confidence of a general. “We’ll follow her! If Miss Notary’s a real friend, we’ll help Pinkie Pie throw the best reunion party ever! And if she’s a secret spy, we’ll get Trixie and the other knights!” “Yay!” said Sweetie Belle. “Wait!” said Dinky, as all the foals -- even an unusually interested Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon -- began to follow Scootaloo. “My Momma says it’s wrong to spy on ponies.” “We’re not spying. We’re just... checking her out! It’s called wrecking tents!” said Scootaloo. “Reconnaissance,” corrected Twist. “Whatever. But we all love Miss Cheerilee. We need to help protect her!” Dinky paused. She did care a lot for her teacher... “Besides,” said Sweetie Belle. “Rarity says there’s nothing wrong with a little eavesdropping. She says that’s how all the great romances got started.” Dinky still felt uneasy, but she couldn’t deny her own curiosity. Besides, if Miss Cheerilee really needed help, Dinky wanted to be there, just like Miss Cheerilee had been there to save them all from Corona and Grogar and the other monsters. “Okay--” “Then let’s go!” yelled Scootaloo, and the foals took off at a run. *** “Still like your coffee black?” asked Cheerilee, as she poured a fresh mug. “Da.” Notary took the mug. “You’ve been well.” “I suppose. Good town, good friends, a job I love, and now I’m a Bearer of an Element of Harmony.” Cheerilee grinned. “Didn’t see that one coming back in college.” “I have to admit, of all the Elements... Laughter probably does suit you best.” Cheerilee raised her own coffee mug. “Thank you! And yourself? What do you do now?” “I am between jobs,” said Notary. She paused, then with a noticeable effort, continued. “But I have resources saved up... you need not worry.” Cheerilee nodded. “Not that I’m not pleased to see you, but what brings you here?” Notary’s eyes narrowed slightly. “Something from our college days.” “You’ll need to be more specific.” “Cider was involved--” “That doesn’t narrow it down much,” joked Cheerilee. Notary frowned. “Right, right.” Cheerilee chuckled. “You were always so serious. What’s up?” “Do you remember,” said Notary, softly, “Our trip to Neigh Orleans for the Summer Sun Celebration?” *** Cheerilee opened the dormitory door and hopped inside, singing merrily. “Oh, ponies and wine, ponies and wine, they go together like mud and swine! Ponies and--” Notary looked up from her desk. Her face had a few lines on it; Cheerilee didn’t think she’d slept much that week. “Blackcherry...” she said, in an exasperated tone. “Right, right. You’re studying.” Cheerilee dropped her books on her bed and stretched. “But it’s almost midsummer! It’s a university holiday, what’s left to study?” “My own special projects.” Notary flipped a page. “I want to learn as much, and as many skills, as I can. That’s what matters.” Cheerilee smiled. “Are you just jealous that I got better grades than you?” “By one-one hundredth of a point!” said Notary, instantly. “And that professor was confused. He didn’t understand my literary allusions or my use of allegorical imagery--” “Hey, hey. Come on. We both got straight A’s. We should celebrate.” Cheerilee moved over and flopped onto Notary’s bed. “Seriously. You’re gonna burn yourself out if you keep going like this.” “Your concern is touching, but I can take care of myself. I want to change the world someday. I have no time for idleness.” Cheerilee propped herself up so her muzzle rested on Notary’s desk, at eye-level with her book (which seemed to be a set of architectural plans). “You got A’s. You should celebrate,” she urged. “Let’s go party.” “For the last time, no. I am not at college to party.” Notary put a hoof to her head. “Blackcherry... I don’t object when you go to your clubs. I accept you have different priorities. Please do not protest my own.” Cheerilee frowned. Did her roommate do anything but study? Didn’t she ever have fun? There had to be something she could do to help show this Rushian mare more of the fun side of life... “I’ll make you a deal,” she said. Notary looked at her. “I’m going to Neigh Orleans for the Summer Sun Celebration. Come with. I’ll show you the best party in Equestria. If you’re still not interested in parties? I won’t bug you about them again.” Notary paused. “I don’t know...” “Look, you always say you want to learn everything you might need to know. Summer Sun is one of the biggest events in the country. You should go -- if only to learn about it, right?” Notary looked at her book. And then her eyes darted to her grade sheet, with its row of A’s. “I suppose... I mean, I did accomplish all my goals this term... and I did want to research Summer Sun...” “That’s the spirit. I’ll handle hotels, reservations, everything. I’ll watch out for you.” Cheerilee grinned. “And we are gonna have a great time.” Notary looked a bit skeptical, but nodded. “Alright, Blackcherry. But I should warn you, I still don’t plan on engaging in these... drunken excesses.” *** “WOOOOO!” screamed the two mares. Cheerilee grinned. Notary had been uptight for a few hours, but she’d finally loosened up when they’d found a place that sold genuine Moscolt vodka. And it was good -- fiery and strong, Cheerilee would have to look into a Canterlot supplier when she returned. Anyway, since then, Notary had been a lot more easygoing. They had cruised all over the city, dancing, parading, partying, and in general having a blast. The liquor flowed freely, as did the food, and while Notary seemed uninterested in stallions, Cheerilee already had a saddlebag full of addresses. Everywhere she turned, there was more fun to be had. It was the greatest party ever. “Look!” said Notary, and then rattled off several sentences in Rushian. “What?” asked Cheerilee. “That establishment is selling jambalaya for only two bits to a plate! That’s vastly more cost-efficient than any other restaurant we have seen!” said Notary. The Rushian certainly was, Cheerilee had noted, a verbose drunk. “If we purchase our desired quantities of jambalaya there, we can retain more money for... for...” “Cider?” offered Cheerilee. “Exactly! Besides, we are far too intoxicated to notice if it tastes bad anyway.” “A valid point!” Cheerilee gestured. “Jambalaya, here we come!” “WOOOOOOOO!” *** Cheerilee giggled at the memories. “We certainly had fun back then.” “Mmm.” Notary’s expression was unchanging. “Blackcherry. The last thing we did that day before stopping for the night. I sincerely hope you haven’t forgotten.” “Well, it’s been a while.” Cheerilee paused. “And I was very drunk.” “I do not forget things, even when drunk. I remember all of it." Cheerilee frowned. What was her old roommate driving at? She cast her thoughts back again. *** "I'm hungry," announced Cheerilee. She and her roommate were covered in bead necklaces, to the point where they were tiring to carry around. Therefore, Cheerilee drunkenly concluded, they needed to get their strength up. And some genuine Neigh Orleans cuisine would hit the spot. "There!" said Notary, gesturing with a wobbling hoof at a small restaurant with a faux-chapel attached to the roof. "Only eight bits for all-you-can-eat buffet!" Cheerilee approached the restaurant, her eyes flickering over the sign. "Hey! If we pay three more bits each, they throw in a free wedding!" "That is..." Notary blinked a few times. "Remarkably cost-effective! Weddings usually cost thousands of bits, but they are selling them for only eleven!" "And we'd look adorable in wedding dresses!" added Cheerilee. "It'll be fun!" But, as the two approached the restaurant/chapel, Notary's steps became confused. "Will it... count?" “What, permanently? Nah. Nothing that happens during Summer Sun counts. What happens in Neigh Orlenas stays in Neigh Orleans! Now come on!” Cheerilee led Notary towards the reception hall. “It says they have wedding dresses and funny little hats, and flowers too! And the buffet has real cherimoyas! I love cherimoyas!” “Flowers?” Notary giggled at that, her objections forgotten. “We can plant flowers all over the city! And water them with the finest Neigh Orleans cider!” “Would that work?” “I am far too inebriated to adequately analyze that question!” “...okay, sure.” *** “Oh, right! The wedding.” Cheerilee paused. She had a bad feeling. “Uh. Did it count?” “What, permanently?” echoed Notary. “Yes.” She slapped a paper down on the desk from her saddlebag. “I was setting my affairs in order before returning to Moscolt. I requisitioned all relevant records from the appropriate Canterlot offices. And I was surprised to note that, legally, I am registered as being married to you!” Cheerilee blinked. She’d seen Notary angry before, though usually not at her. It was not something she relished. “Wait... wait a minute. The next day, before we left. You had me get that annulled...” *** “Hmph. Throwing a fit... it’s just a silly marriage anyway. Who cares?” Cheerilee frowned. It was the day after Summer Sun, and Neigh Orleans was asleep. It was just Cheerilee on the streets. Well, her and all the garbage. “See if I take her to parties anymore... how’d she even remember it? She drank almost as much as me! Stupid eidetic memory,” muttered Cheerilee. "Now I have to get it fixed when I've got this pounding hangover... that annoying little--" “I’m sorry?” Cheerilee turned to see a very handsome stallion sweeping in front of his shop. Judging from his clothing and his anvil-shaped cutie mark, he was a blacksmith. Judging from his muscles, he was just Cheerilee’s type. “Oh! Sorry, I didn’t mean you. Guest I brought along.” Cheerilee smiled. “How are you?” “Eh. Doing okay, I guess. Day after Summer Sun’s always a drag.” “I could help liven it up,” said Cheerilee, eyes twinkling. The stallion blinked, then smiled. “Well... alright then. Want some cider?” *** “Did you take care of it?” Notary asked, as soon as Cheerilee returned. “You were gone a long time.” Cheerilee smiled tipsily. Had she been supposed to take care of something? Well, it was Summer Sun and they didn’t have school or work, so it couldn’t be very important, whatever it was. Best to just keep Notary happy. “Yep!” said Cheerilee. *** “Well,” said Cheerilee. “I was going to, but there was this stallion...” Notary stared. “You failed to get the annullment.” “Er...” “The one thing I asked you to do, after you specifically said you would watch out for me in Neigh Orleans. You failed to get it...” “But--” “Because you were cheating on me...” “You see--” “Your wife, of a few hours...” “Well--” “With the first stallion you met?” Cheerilee thought of saying many things. She debated bringing up how polygamy was legal in Equestria, so their being married (in a technical sense) wouldn't prevent them from marrying somepony they actually loved. She considered mentioning how neither of them had ever attempted to invoke any marital rights, such as tax benefits, so the marriage hadn't actually impacted them at all, nor would it in the future. There was also the point that the marriage could easily be dissolved by both of them signing a declaration to that effect and filing it in Canterlot. She even thought about pointing out that Equestrian law considered marriages annulled by default if the two ponies involved were separated for certain lengths of time and by certain distances, so the marriage, in addition to being functionally meaningless, might not even exist anymore. But then she looked at Notary’s gritted teeth, her blazing eyes, and then the little divots Notary’s hooves were digging into the desk. And she remembered something else from her college days. *** Cheerilee came back into her room, books balanced on her back, to find a pony trapped and struggling in a net attached to the ceiling. "Um." "Let me out of here!" the pony complained. Cheerilee recognized him as the captain of the dormitory's hoofball team, a lecherous and annoying jock. "Your roommate's nuts!" Cheerilee blinked and turned to her roommate, who was working at her desk like always. "He tried to steal my homework," Notary said. "Hey! Coach says if I don't get my grades up, I'm off the team! And everypony knows you're a total egghead!" Notary finally looked up, eyes blazing. In a growl, she repeated, "You tried. To steal. My homework." Cheerilee made a quick decision. "I'll come back later," she said, then shut the door and walked away. And, as she left, she muttered to herself: "Note to self. Don't make her mad." *** It was time, Cheerilee knew, to make another quick decision. “Well,” she said, in a jaunty voice, “There’s a very good explanation for all of that, Natalia.” And then she ran for her life. *** Outside, under the window, the foals were busily chattering. “Married!” said Sweetie Belle, turning the word into a song. “Miss Cheerilee is married! This is so great!” “Yay!” echoed Apple Bloom. “Ah always knew she’d find herself an awesome special somepony!” “We’ve gotta tell Pinkie Pie!” said Scootaloo. “Two wives meeting each other after so long? That’s gotta be worth a huge party!” “I wonder how Miss Cheerilee didn’t know?” mused Featherweight. “I wouldn’t think you’d forget something like that.” “Who cares?” said Sweetie Belle. “Oh, I know! We can help set up a honeymoon for them right here in Ponyville!” She grinned. “Half of us can make the honey, and the other half can build a fake moon for them to eat it on!” “I don’t think that’s how it works,” said Twist. Dinky had managed to keep listening at the window. “Wait!” she said. “They sound mad at each other. Or at least, Miss Notary sounds mad.” “Mad?” wondered Scootaloo. “They’re married. They can’t be mad at each other. That's not allowed!” “Yeah,” said Sweetie Belle. “That can’t happen--” Cheerilee blasted out the doors at a dead run. “Hi class! Bye class!” she said as she tore past them. Notary jumped through the doors a moment later, saddlebag spilling off her side. “Get back here! I am not done with you!” she yelled, giving chase. The foals stared as Notary proceeded to chase Cheerilee around the school lot, running circles around them. Every time Cheerilee sped up, Notary did too. The foals’ eyes began to swim trying to keep up with it. "Scootaloo!" Cheerilee called suddenly. "Can I borrow your scooter?" Scootaloo blinked. "Uh, sure--" “Greatthanksbye!” Cheerilee suddenly turned at an angle and raced for the gate. “Stop!” yelled Notary. Cheerilee reached the schoolyard gate, then jumped.and landed on the scooter Scootaloo had left there. With a mighty kick, she zipped away. Notary skidded to a halt, glaring. “That...” she hissed. “I will follow you, Cheerilee! I will follow you to the ends of the earth!” "But you can't follow her!" Silver Spoon snarked. "You don't have any wheels to--" “HI!” Notary, as well as the foals, turned to see a large pink pony rolling towards them on a big wagon. “Hi Pinkie!” said Snails. “Oh! You brought your party wagon! Yay!” “You said you didn't want to stay in Sugar Cube Corner in party,” said Pinkie to Notary. “So I thought I'd bring the party to you! Besides, nothing gives new ponies more fun than my party wagon!” Notary paused. “Fun? You want me to have fun?” “Yes! It’s my special talent, and--” Notary considered for a moment. “I would find it fun, then, if you allowed me to borrow your wagon.” “Well... okay! Here you go!” She shoved it over towards the white-coated mare. Notary hopped on and kicked off, and soon was pursuing Cheerilee into the distance. The foals could only stare. *** "Blackcherry! You cannot get away!" Cheerilee risked a glance behind her and saw her college roommate chasing her on Pinkie Pie's party wagon. Uh oh. That thing has cake canons! And other artillery! I need to hide! She banked around a corner, but Notary followed. She seemed to be as fast as Cheerilee, and she was starting to gain. No fair! thought Cheerilee. This was supposed to be a peaceful day! I didn't want to have to deal with my nutty college roommate! Dang it. How could this get any worse? *** "So it's settled!" Scootaloo yelled. "We are going to get Miss Cheerilee and Miss Notary back together!" "YAY!" cheered the foals. Dinky alone seemed skeptical. "Didn't she ask us not to interfere in her love life after Hearts and Hooves Day?" "No, she asked us not to find her a new Special Somepony. This is an old Special Somepony," said Scootaloo. "Totally different." "Yeah!" said Sweetie Belle. “Besides, Miss Cheerilee and Miss Notary looked really mad at each other!” “Miss Notary looked furious!” said Beebop. She frowned. “But married ponies aren’t supposed to be angry at each other...” “It’s terrible!” said Apple Bloom. “What if Notary leaves again, and Miss Cheerilee doesn’t have her special somepony?” “We’ve got to do something!” said Sweetie Belle. "You bet!" said Scootaloo. “Okay, everypony! We need to get those two to love each other again, so we’re going to... make the best date in the world for them! Apple Bloom and Twist, get some romantic food! Beebop, make some romantic music! Sweetie Belle, get some romantic picnic cloths from your sister! Alula, get some heart-shaped ceramic plates! Firelock! Uh... don't set them on fire! Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon--” “We’ll get silverware, jewelry, and other accessories,” said Diamond Tiara. “We will?” asked Silver Spoon. Diamond Tiara nodded. “I’ll explain on the way,” she muttered. “The rest of us can guide them to the picnic once we’re ready,” said Scootaloo. “Okay? Everypony ready?” A dozen foals all nodded at each other. “Let’s move out! Operation... uh... Operation Notilee is a go!” Author's Note I foresee a rough day for Ponyville. The foals are on a mission, after all. Cheerilee's 'marriage' is, as she thinks to herself, functionally meaningless (and might not even exist any longer, depending on Equestria common-law separations and such.) Notary seems to be mad more about the principle of the thing... and Cheerilee just wants to run away. Let's watch and see how that goes!
RaceWhile Blackcherry Lee Punch did not like to brag, she would -- if asked -- concede that she was a rather athletic mare. She was a proficient martial artist, a relatively fast runner -- she had placed seventh in last year's Running of the Leaves -- and strong enough to assist her friends when they needed her help with, say, moving a large rock out of a new farm field. Certainly several of the Elements' enemies had learned, to their misfortune, that Cheerilee was a force to be reckoned with; even the goons of the Manehattan mafia had found that out when they had tried to abduct Dinky. Yes, Cheerilee was a strong and powerful mare. And yet she could not break away from Notary. Cheerilee risked a glance back, and saw her angry ex-roommate -- and, apparently, current wife -- in hot pursuit. This isn’t fair! she complained to herself. Marriages shouldn’t count if you’re drunk! That’s it, I’m asking Trixie to have Luna make that a law. We can call it the 'What Happens in Neigh Orleans at Summer Sun Stays There' law. But it was what it was, and Cheerilee had to find a place to hide from her vengeful spouse. The teacher looked around, and saw that she was coming back up on the shop-heavy portion of town. She wove around bystanders as she scooted along, silently thankful for her various youthful hijinks that had given her such accurate high-speed reflexes, and looked for a place to hole up for a short while. There was the Quill and Sofa Emporium (but the shop floor was too open), Sugar Cube Corner (but Red Onion was having a birthday party there), Bonbon's Confectionarium... Yes! I can hide in Bonbon's! Cheerilee banked around a corner so Notary wouldn’t be able to see her for a moment, then skidded to a stop. Ignoring the stares from a few passing ponies, she tucked the scooter under her arm and hurried into the store. “Hi!” she hissed as she entered. Bonbon looked up from her counter, where she was busily preparing a large ice cream sundae for Boxxy Brown. “Good afternoon, Cheerilee!” called Bonbon. “Sssh!” Cheerilee had ducked behind a tall row of shelves. “I’m hiding.” “Hiding?” From who?” “Nevermind. Can I hide here for a few minutes?” “Uh, okay..." "Great!" Cheerilee ducked behind a display stand just as the door opened again. The magenta earth pony knelt down, making sure that her mane and tail were safely covered behind the rows of gumdrop bins. "Um, hello!" called Bonbon. "Can I help you?" "I am just looking," said Notary. Cheerilee crept around the display as Notary's hooves passed it on the other side. If she gets distracted or something, I can slip out... "Would you like to try a free sample?" asked Bonbon, inducing a smile in Cheerilee. "If you come to counter, I can fix you a big chocolate sundae!" Notary stopped pacing. "A sundae?" "Yes! Why don't you just step up here, and I'll make you the most delicious ice cream in all of Ponyville!" Cheerilee peaked out and saw Notary approaching the counter, looking more confused than anything else. I suppose there's not much call for ice cream up in Moscolt... still, this is my chance! Cheerilee began to slip towards the front door. And then Notary glanced in the glass counter and froze. She saw my reflection! Cheerilee jumped at the door, but Notary sprang out of her seat and cut her off. Cheerilee reversed herself and dashed for the storage room, her wife right at her hooves. I've got one chance, Cheerilee thought. I hope Bonbon keeps her caramel and taffy in the same place as the last time I was in here... *** Bonbon opened her mouth to protest as Cheerilee dashed into her storage room, followed by the white-coated earth pony. "Be careful!" Bonbon yelled as she trotted after them. "My stock's in there, and--" There was a massive crash, and then Cheerilee ran out of the room almost as quickly as she had run in. "I'll pay for it later gotta go bye!" and she blasted out the door. Confused, Bonbon entered the room -- to find that the white-coated mare had somehow been covered in taffy and caramel. She looked like she was almost stuck to the floor with all the sticky sweets. "Um. Can I... help you?" "Get," hissed the other mare. "Me. Out of here!" *** “So, why are we doing this?” asked Silver Spoon. Diamond Tiara sighed to herself as she picked out another good fork from her daddy’s 'For Very Important Guests' silverware cabinet. “I already told you. If we can get Miss Cheerilee back together with her marefriend, she’ll be happy with us and won’t give us homework.” She sniffed. “Mares like us have to stay pampered, beautiful and happy. We have to go to the spa, and Sugar Cube Corner, and places like that. We don’t have time for things like ‘fractions.’ Homework is for foals like Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom who couldn’t be beautiful if they tried.” “Well, yeah,” said Silver Spoon, helping to take down some gorgeous silver napkin rings. She smiled slightly. “What about Scootaloo? Could she be beautiful?” Diamond Tiara’s face flushed bright red as she busied herself examining all the glasses for just the right ones. “Of -- of course not! She’s just some orange-coated speed-freak.” “Mmm-hmm,” said Silver Spoon. “Right.” “She is!” Diamond Tiara scowled. “Come on, Spoonie. Stop teasing me.” “Alright,” said Silver Spoon. “I’m just kidding you anyway. I know you don’t really have a crush on that pegasus.” “Trust me. She’s nothing more than a free carriage service to me,” said Diamond Tiara. I’m sorry Scootaloo... I’ll make it up to you later... But at least if I help you now I can see what you consider to be romantic... Diamond Tiara noticed Silver Spoon taking down a particular goblet. “Wait! Don’t use that one.” “But it’s really pretty.” “This is for Cheerilee. That's too plain for a mare like her." Silver Spoon chose a different goblet, one with more jewels set in the outside. "My special talent's appraisal, remember -- I can tell this one's worth more." "It must be better then," agreed Diamond Tiara. They worked in silence for a few moments. Then Silver Spoon knocked her hooves together. “So! I wonder why Notary and Cheerilee broke up. Think it was another mare?” “I don’t think Miss Cheerilee would do that,” said Diamond Tiara. “But maybe that other one, Notary.” “Yeah, I could see her finding another pony to date. She looked shifty.” Silver Spoon grinned wickedly. “You know, if we can’t get them back together, I bet Miss Cheerilee would like it if we helped her get revenge.” Diamond Tiara thought for a few moments. If it doesn’t work because Notary’s a bad pony who cheated on Cheerilee... then we could help Cheerilee get revenge! Oh, and I bet Scootaloo would want to help too! She likes Cheerilee! We could throw pies at Notary together! “That sounds good!” said Diamond Tiara to Silver Spoon. “If this doesn’t work, I’ll bring it up with the others.” Silver Spoon nodded merrily. “I wonder what their wedding was like.” Diamond Tiara, as a foal, had only one conception of weddings. “Well, of course it was in a big room, and everypony wore white, and all the ponies of the kingdom that mattered were there...” *** All this for a stupid eleven-bit wedding in the back room of a bingo parlor! groaned Cheerilee as she kept scooting. Except now it was hard to scoot, because her hooves were covered in taffee. I need to get this off, she thought. What about... I know! The spa was just a few blocks ahead. She put on a burst of speed, drawing slightly away from Notary and her party wagon, and then ducked into the spa as quickly as she possibly could. “Hi!” she said to Aloe and Lotus as she entered, throwing several bits on the counter. “I’ll have a delux, please!” And she galloped right into the room and quickly shut the door. A few moments later, Notary arrived and hurried in. “Where is Blackcherry?” she demanded. “In the spa,” chirped an oblivious Lotus. Notary began to approach the interior door, but Aloe cut her off. “I’m sorry, miss, but you must be a customer to enter the spa room.” Notary blinked, then put a few bits on the counter. “Fine. Please get out of my--” “Ah, wonderful! That is enough for the deluxe as well. If you’ll follow me.” Notary nodded, mostly ignoring the spa pony's words. Now she would be able to seize Cheerilee at last! She wasn’t too familiar with spas, but she had broken through some of the finest locks in Canterlot. She was absolutely certain that nothing in this spa could possibly keep her from Cheerilee. *** At first Notary wanted to seize her target in the mud bath, but then the spa attendant had poured something into the bath that made it feel warm and comfortable, and it felt so good that she couldn’t quite make herself get out. And then she wanted to seize Cheerilee during the massage, but the masseuse would always do something with her hooves whenever she tried to get up, and Notary’s will to rise seemed to collapse in a little puddle, and all she could manage was to lean into the massage a little more. She’d tried to get up during the hooficure too, but that Lotus pony had such a soft, gentle touch that she couldn’t even begin to rise from the chair. This is absurd. I am a Moscolt pony, she thought to herself. I grew up in snow and ice. I should be able to resist some little spa treatment and... oh... oh, that feels good... Aloe had just turned on the jacuzzi, and Notary felt her cares just bubbling away. Forty minutes later, she found herself leaving the spa. Cheerilee, ahead of her, was heading towards the door. She removed her towel, feeling slightly dazed. “First time?” asked one of the ponies as Notary put a tip on the counter. “Yes,” said Notary. “I have never been to a spa before.” “Well, I hope you liked it!” “I did,” said Notary, with complete honesty. “It was an extraordinary experience, and I hope to be back someday. Now -- it is over, correct? No other procedures?” “Well, yes...” “Good.” Free of their strange, enticing pleasures at last... Cheerilee froze at the word, and the two locked eyes. “Now -- about that marriage,” began Notary at last. Cheerilee turned and dashed out the door. Notary bit back a curse and followed. *** “Now, chocolate’s supposed ta be the most romantic food there is!” said Apple Bloom. “But apples are the best food there is. So what we need are chocolate apples!” “Yay!” said Twist. The two were gathered around a stove as Twist carefully melted chocolate and poured some other goodies -- cream, peanut butter, a little milk -- into the mix. It was soon bubbling softly and smelled absolutely delicious. Apple Bloom had to fight the urge to jump in and start drinking it. “Now,” said Twist. “What kind of apples should we use?” “The sweetest ones we have!” Apple Bloom went over to her bag and began to pull some apples out. “This one and this one and this one....” The apples selected, it was the work of only a few moments to coat them with the succulent chocolate mixture. Before long, the foals were done, and were staring happily at a delicious plate of chocolate-covered apples. “Those look real good,” said Apple Bloom. “Uh-huh,” added Twist. “...Ya know, Ah reckon we should taste one ta make sure. That’s what all the chefs do, Ah heard.” Twist nodded eagerly. The two carefully selected one of the chocolate covered apples, sliced it in half, and each bit on their slice. Their eyes widened. “That’s horrible!” said Apple Bloom, spitting hers out. “It’s all sour and pickley!” “Yuck!” Twist ran to the ice box for some apple juice. “Your apples ruined my chocolate!” “Hey, no way! Yar chocolate ruined ma apples! Ma apples are good!” Twist went back to the apples. “Where did you get these, anyway?” “Where did I get them?” Apple Bloom thought back. “Ah always keep a few apples in ma bag. In case of emergency. An’ Ah...” She looked at the bag she was holding, which wasn’t hers. Notary had dropped one of her saddlebags upon leaving the school, and Apple Bloom had taken it so nothing would happen to it. The apples were from that bag. “Oh! We must have used Miss Notary’s pickled apples by mistake!” Apple Bloom stuck out her tongue. “Ah guess those don’t go well with chocolate.” “Yuck. Those don’t go well with anything.” Twist shook her head. “Although...” “What?” “We need to make food that they like, right?” said Twist. “So it’s romantic?” “Yeah...” “Well, if Notary likes real sour stuff, maybe we should make everything sour?” Apple Bloom hesitated, but she couldn’t escape that logic. “Ah guess it wouldn’t hurt ta splash a little vinegar on all the vittles... what could go wrong with that?” Twist nodded. “Sounds like a good idea!” “An’ she said something else, that she liked... tarragon, or somethin’.” Apple Bloom frowned. “Ah know about pentagons and hexagons, but what’s a tarragon?” “I think it’s a food. Tarragon, tarragon... oh! Maybe she said grey poupon and you just heard tarragon? Her accent’s thick.” Apple Bloom brightened. “That must be it. We’ve got some. Ah’ll get it.” Twist grinned as Apple Bloom began to pour mustard and vinegar over the chocolate apples. “This is going to be the best romantic dinner ever! We’re putting so much thought into this! And Miss Cheerilee always say that if we just think things through, we’ll get the right answer!” “We should tell her that we could only make this meal thanks ta her teachin’!” said Apple Bloom. “She’ll be so proud!” The two foals bumped hooves, laughed, and continued to cook. *** There! Cheerilee scooted through the market, once again blasting past startled shoppers and salesponies. She saw, through a thick cluster of ponies, a table that was elevated high off the ground and screened with a curtain. She would be able to hide from her vengeful wife there. She made sure she was screened by a cluster of ponies, then zipped under the table and -- And bumped into a good friend of hers. “Ditzy?” whispered Cheerilee. The two were now quite crowded under the table, and Ditzy was staring at Cheerilee with blank confusion. “What are you doing here?” “Oh, I bought some fresh oranges for my little muffin, but one of them fell out of my saddlebag and I wanted to get it.” Ditzy smiled. “As a mailmare, I can’t just drop things. It goes against our code of honor.” “There’s a mailmare code of honor?” Cheerilee blinked, until she saw Ditzy’s smile and realized that the Bearer of Kindness was kidding her. “Very funny. Just -- stay quiet for a few minutes.” “Why?” “I’m hiding.” “I can see that.” Ditzy shifted to be a little more comfortable. “From who?” “My, uh...” Cheerilee recalled that Ditzy didn’t know she was married. Of course, that morning, she hadn’t known that either. “An old friend with a bone to pick.” “If she’s making you that scared, she doesn’t seem like much of a friend,” commented Ditzy. “Well, back in the day...” *** “Afternoon, Natalia!” Notary nodded at Cheerilee, and even cracked a smile. Cheerilee grinned. Notary had been a lot more easygoing ever since Summer Sun Celebration. She supposed that drinking your own body weight in cider, going on a midnight run through the bayou, and fighting off an alligator with strings of beads could really bring two ponies together. “Good afternoon,” said Notary. “How was class?” “Awesome. Professor Algorithm said I did great on the math assignment. And now it’s the weekend, and I don’t have anything due until next Friday.” Cheerilee grinned. “Party!” “Have a good time,” said Notary. “Oh, you should come too.” “I would, but I need to finish this.” Notary looked back at her book. “I’m trying to get this memorized.” “Don’t you have a perfect memory? Can’t you just look at it?” “That doesn’t mean I would understand it.” Notary thought. “Just because you have a record of a symphony doesn’t mean you have analyzed its themes.” Before the discussion could continue, the door banged open and an underclasspony ran in. She immediately hugged Cheerilee. “Blackcherry! I need your help! Please!” Cheerilee immediately took the underpony to her bed with a compassionate expression. “What’s wrong, Sunshine Grace?” “It’s... my family crest necklace! It’s gone!” said Sunshine. Cheerilee blinked. “Your necklace? Wait, you’re... you’re from House Littlefief, aren’t you?” “Yes... my Mom’s the sister of Baronetess Littlefief. She's in charge of one of Hyasanguia's little sub-provinces.” Sunshine sniffed. “I know it’s not a big House, but we’ve got a few nice things, and one of them was my necklace with the family crest engraved on it. I mean, legend has it Luna presented my great-grandmom with it when she ennobled our family. And it was passed down, to my grandmom, and then my aunt, and then me, but it’s gone now!” “What happened?” asked Cheerilee. “Professor Hard-Nose confiscated it! He said we’re not allowed to have jewelry in the lab. But I didn’t know that! He only took over the class this week! And he could have just told me to put it away or drop it in my locker, but he took it and said he won’t give it back!” She hugged Cheerilee. “I checked with the counselor, but there’s nothing he can do; teachers can confiscate ‘contraband’, which includes inappropriate lab wear. He said he’d give it back after a parent-teacher conference, but I just can’t tell my Mom I lost Luna’s gift! And if I don’t tell her I’ll never get it back! And he knows that! He just wants that necklace for himself, and I can’t do anything to get it back without admitting I’m terrible and I lost it! I don’t know what to do, Cheerilee!” And then she hugged the magenta pony and burst into tears. Cheerilee hugged Sunshine back. “Sunshine. Sunshine, you aren’t terrible, and you don’t need to worry. I’ll take care of it.” “...how?” “Let me worry about that. But I’ll get you your necklace back. I promise.” Cheerilee patted Sunshine on the head. “I still owe you for helping me study for that econ exam, so don’t worry about it.” “If you could get it back for me, I’d... I’d owe you forever.” Sunshine looked up at her with a pleading expression. “I’d do anything.” “...don’t worry about it. Just go take a nap... get some ice cream or something.” Cheerilee helped Sunshine get up. “Take a shower and listen to some good music. Blackcherry’s got this.” When Sunshine was gone, Notary looked up. “Exactly what is Blackcherry going to do? I don’t think Hard-Nose will return that necklace if you just ask nicely.” “I’ll figure something out.” Cheerilee nodded. “I won’t let a friend down!” *** Cheerilee woke up as the magic alarm buzzed under her pillow, softly vibrating it without making enough sound to wake her roommate. She didn’t want Notary to get in trouble in case something went wrong. She didn’t want to do something like this at all, in fact, but she could see no other way to help her distraught friend. So she would just leave quietly, take care of business, and be back before her roommate awoke. This in mind, she got up. “Where are you going?” Cheerilee looked at the desk. Notary was still sitting there, with a book open. In the dark. “How are you reading in the dark?” asked Cheerilee. Notary tapped her glasses. “I know a unicorn who is very good at ocular magics. Where are you going, Blackcherry?” “Er...” “Please tell me you are not going to burgle Hard-Nose.” Cheerilee frowned. “I’m getting the necklace back. Whatever it takes.” Even in the dark, she could feel Notary staring at her in disapproval. “...setting aside that you’re risking years in prison for a mare you barely know--” “Hey! Sunshine’s a really good friend. She’s always helping anypony that needs it. And she put in all the hours to make sure that big dance still happened even after the Blueblood's canceled the college's dance hall reservation so they could take it instead for their annual 'Which Blueblood Is The Prettiest' contest.” “...do you even have a plan?” Cheerilee frowned. “Yes. I’m going to go to Hard-Nose’s house. I walked by there earlier; there’s a tree with a branch that passes over the exterior wall, so I’ll climb it and hop inside. I’ll find an open window, or if there isn’t one, I’ll pry one open.” She took a small crowbar out of her desk; she had picked it up earlier that day. “Then I’ll just search the house until I find it.” Notary stared. “That... is the worst plan I’ve ever heard.” “Well, it doesn’t affect you, right?” Cheerilee sniffed. “She’s my friend. I’m going to try to help her. If I don’t get arrested, I’ll see you in the morning.” And so she strode towards the door. “Wait.” Cheerilee turned. Notary sighed, then flicked her desk lamp on. “Okay, look. First, you aren’t even doing this at the right time. The Guard unit nearest Hard-Nose’s house is on patrol now. They’ll see you climbing a tree in seconds. You’ll be arrested without even a chase. Second, there’s an alarm spell on that tree -- Hard-Nose's cousin is in the Guards, and he gets a discount on security wards. And third, that house has seven rooms, and almost fifty drawers and cabinets. It would take an amateur hours to search.” Now it was Cheerilee’s turn to stare. “If you really want to just get the necklace, and nothing else, you need to find out where he’s keeping it. Here.” Notary began sketching out a diagram of Hard-Nose’s house on a big sheet of parchment. “You’ll need an accomplice. Have them quietly break in through the front gate, here, and the front door, here, and hide here,” she circled a small closet, “At a reasonable time -- try 4 AM, that’s when that Guard patrol usually takes a quick meal. The front gate is just locked with a wooden bar and an alarm spell; use a ten-ounce amethyst crystal to block the spell -- Runny Nose, down the hall, has one -- and a metal bar to lever the gate bar up. The front door, any competent thief can pick that lock in fifteen seconds. When your partner is in, wait fifteen minutes, then knock at the gate, dressed like a messenger or something. Look official and imply to the doorguards or majordomo that you’re there about some sort of missing political gift that's been returned to your office. Hard-Nose will have to check on the necklace to see if it’s disturbed -- that could indicate somepony found it and told you about it. Your accomplice can follow him. It’s probably here,” she circled another room, “Close to the bedroom, only one door, center of the house, just big enough for a few treasures -- but your accomplice should follow him to make sure. If Hard-Nose uses a key to get at it, your accomplice can see it and can pick it from his pocket when he returns to the front hall. Then just distract him with hard questions while your accomplice takes the necklace and leaves the back way.” There was silence for a few moments. “And you know this... how?” asked Cheerilee. Notary paused. “Let’s just say that, when I heard Sunshine, I thought you might do something stupid, so I cased his house myself. I obtained the architectural plans from his architect’s office... the lock there was a joke.” “And the Guard schedules? And picking locks?” Notary frowned. “I might need that knowledge someday. I want to learn everything I can, to be useful.” Cheerilee froze -- and then hugged her. “You should have told me you were into stuff like this! Have you broken into anywhere else?” “Ack!” Notary struggled out of the hug. “Maybe, but I haven’t taken anything. I just needed to see if I could.” “No, this is perfect! You can help! You do the accomplice thing, and--” “What? No! I do not even know Sunshine. I am not risking getting arrested!” “Oh, I thought it was a perfect plan,” teased Cheerilee. “Come on. What better test of your skills than this?” Notary sighed. “Blackcherry, I really don’t...” “Please?” Cheerilee paused. “Look. I don’t ask for your help often. In fact, I can usually beat you in school without trying.” Notary frowned. “Gee. Thanks.” “But I need help. A friend needs me, and if I go alone, I’m probably going to screw it up.” Cheerilee gently put a hoof on Notary’s shoulder. “Come on. It’ll be fun, and we’ll be doing a good deed. Besides... you’re always telling me how much you want to make a difference. Just think what a difference this will make in Sunshine’s life.” Notary was silent for a few moments. And then, with a sigh, she rose. “Fine.” “YAY!” Notary winced as Cheerilee hugged her again. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to check my lockpicks.” And she withdrew a large set of them from her desk. Cheerilee’s eyes widened. “You should have told me you were this awesome months ago, Natalia.” “...I'll keep that in mind.” *** “We went through a lot together,” said Cheerilee. “And... I mean, we did some good too. Helped out our other friends. She was pretty fun, once you got to know her.” “So why’s she mad now?” asked Ditzy. “Well... I screwed up.” Cheerilee sighed. “I made her a promise that I didn’t keep... she just found out, and I hadn’t thought about it in years. Now she’s mad.” “Well, if you were such good friends, I’m sure she’ll forgive you!” said Ditzy. “If you just--” The tablecloth in front of the two was pulled back, revealing Notary’s triumphant face. “Aha! Now I’ve got you, Cheerilee!” Cheerilee squeaked and dove out the back of the table. Notary dove after her, but somehow wound up in Ditzy’s lap. “Get back here!” “Nice talking to you Ditzy bye!” And Cheerilee grabbed the scooter and dashed away again. *** Alula carefully looked at her row of fired pots and plates. “Let’s see... this one can be good for jellies,” she decided, choosing a pretty pot with a pinkish-red glazing and a few hearts painted on. “And these plates would be perfect!” “Hi Alula!” Alula turned to see Sweetie Belle trotting into her room, looking merry. She had a bundle of cloths tucked into one bulging saddlebag. “Hi, Sweetie!” “This is going to be so great!” said Sweetie Belle, mouth turned up in a big smile. “We’re going to do a great deed! We’ll make sure Miss Cheerilee and Miss Notary love each other forever!” Alula smiled. “What do you think of these plates?” They were all heart shaped. Sweetie Belle examined them with a critical eye. “Hmm... I like them! But...” “But what?” “Wouldn’t it be better if they had little hearts inside the hearts?” Sweetie Belle gestured to the paints. “That paint dries real fast, right? I bet if we worked together, we could get the plates even heart-ier in time!” Alula frowned. “I don’t know... if the paint doesn't dry in time, won't it get into the food?" Sweetie Belle shrugged. "But it'll be prettier!" Alula thought for a few more moments. “Good point,” she said at last. “Let’s do it!” And they got to painting with gusto. *** “So... what exactly did you do?” asked Mayor Ivory Scrolls, looking down the hallway in the middle of City Hall. Trixie Lulamoon beamed. “So, remember how a few days ago it rained really heavily and nopony wanted to go outside?” “Yes...” “I've been working with Twilight -- and on my own -- and I came up with a spell that would let me connect doors to each other, so going through a door over here puts you out a door over there!” Trixie waved down the hall and beamed, her horn glowing brightly. “Try it!” Mayor Scrolls frowned, but opened a door at random and walked through -- and came out several doors down, on the other side of the hall. “Oh!” Trixie beamed. “See? Now, right now the spell can only reach about twenty meters. And it’s still a little fuzzy on which other door is right; at the moment, it could have put you through any of the other doors in this hallway. But I’m going to study ways to make it more accurate and power it up. Why, someday, you could walk right from your home to your office! Maybe even one could walk from here to Canterlot!” Trixie grinned. "And do you know what that means?" "You could sleep in later when you need to be somewhere early in the morning?" Trixie nodded eagerly. “I like the idea, but it seems... dangerous,” said Mayor Scrolls. "I--" The door banged open, and Cheerilee darted in. “Hi Mayor Scrolls! I’m hiding.” She ran through a door at random. Trixie blinked. “Wait! Those doors--” A white coated pony blasted into the hall and dove through the same door. And then Cheerilee came out through a different door, looked puzzled, and ran through a third. And then Notary came out through a different one, and the two began chasing each other through an increasingly labyrinthine series of doors. “Trixie!” yelled Mayor Scrolls as the ponies chased each other all over the hall. “Do something!” Trixie blinked. "Hey! Stop that! Abracascooby's textbook didn't say anything about this!" The teacher and the Rushian both poked their heads out through the same door, Notary on top of Cheerilee. They glanced left and right before Cheerilee looked up, squeaked, and darted back into... whatever was behind the doors. Notary sprang at a different door to follow. Trixie levitated a tome from her saddlebag. “I’ll find the counterspell!” “Hurry -- they’re making me nauseous!” said Mayor Scrolls. Trixie managed to find the counter and began to cast. And then Cheerilee leapt out from a door, knocking into Mayor Scrolls and sending her through another one as she took off down the hall. A moment later, Notary followed her. Trixie horn flashed, and the door spell vanished. “There!” she said. “See? A simple counter, and...” She looked around. “Uh, Mayor? Where did you go?” *** “Let’s go!” said Scootaloo, standing on top of a stump. “Make sure we don’t lose track of them!” Featherweight ran up. “Just spotted them by City Hall, Scootaloo!” “Good work. Stay on them!” And Featherweight ran off. Scootaloo looked around, pleased that she’d managed to corral most of the Ponyville foals into helping her out on this crucial, absolute vital mission for Cheerilee’s happiness. This, she thought, must be what Dinky felt like during that whole cider mess a short while back. She felt big and strong -- like a leader! “Hey, uh, Scootaloo?” Scootaloo turned. “Snips! Snails! Why aren’t you at your posts?” Snails paused. “We... we don’t think this is going to work.” “What?!” “We have a much better way to get Cheerilee and Notary back together!” said Snips. “So we’re goign to go do that, okay?” “What way?” demanded Scootaloo. “Wait -- who cares? This is a mutiny! This is insubordination! I ought to... to...” She tried to figure out what her mother would do in this situation. “I ought to reassign you to the griffon kingdoms!” She paused. “Er... maybe that’s a little far. I’m going to reassign you to Sweet Apple Acres! You’ll be fifteen minutes away from the candy shop! And Applejack will make you play with her pig!” “No!” said Snips, tears springing to his eyes. “That’s horrible!” “Hmph! We’re willing to put up with a little candy shortage to help Miss Cheerilee! And ponies tell us we’re practically pigs anyway!” said Snails. “Come on, Snips. Let’s go.” “But... but candy!” “Later,” instructed Snails. As the two walked away from a still-yelling Scootaloo, Snips turned to Snails. “I don’t know. Are you sure this will work?” “We need to get those two back together,” said Snails, in a sage tone. “Now, what’s the absolute, best way to get two things together that don’t want to be?” Snips paused, and then grinned. "Oh! I know!" And they said at once: "GLUE!" Author's Note That must be some spa. I do like the idea of Cheerilee deciding, just because someone asked, that she'll do a one-mare Leverage job. And then Notary gets dragged along. But to be fair, while Notary seems pretty cynical, but I'll bet that seeing Sunshine Grace's relief when they got her the necklace back would have melted her heat, at least a little bit. Uh oh. Trixie lost the mayor. I sense more hijinks involved in getting her back! Yeah, the door spell isn't quite ready for primetime. No instant teleportation between distant places, at least not yet. Oh, those foals. They try so hard. And fail just as hard. But can anyone really get mad at them about it?
RomanceNotary gritted her teeth as she pursued Cheerilee. Her wagon was surprisingly heavy, so it was much harder to move than Cheerilee’s scooter. As such, even though Notary had more stamina than her slender frame might indicate, she wasn’t able to catch up. What’s making this cart so heavy? she wondered. A simple wooden frame shouldn’t be this hard to move... As she took a corner and continued pursuing Cheerilee, she began to check around in the cart's cabinets. One cabinet held confetti, one held colorful hats, and one held a miniature oven that seemed to be full of ribbons. That pony I borrowed this from possesses a lot of party supplies. Why would any pony need this much confetti? Or hats? Or... are those cannons? Indeed, mounted in the wagon were a few big cannons. This vehicle has artillery? Was that pink pony some kind of party pirate? mused Notary. She stuck a hoof into one of the canons, and found it filled with a sticky, wet, and sweet substance -- cake batter, from the taste of it. Maybe in Ponyville they throw parties by having somepony arrive with this wagon and fire cake and other desserts at ponies. This is an... interesting town. But that didn’t matter. She had canons now, and, thanks to her studies, she was reasonably proficient in their use. She gauged the distance and the wind, tilted the canon at just the range angle so the azimuth was correct, and then began to fire. I received perfect scores in physics. This is nothing more than a simple trajectory problem. I won’t miss! she thought. *** “Well!” said Rarity, walking along the street with a smile. “You’ve certainly outdone yourself today, Rarity. You truly look beautiful! Not a hair out of place, not a single snag in your coat, and the sheen in your tail is divine! Today, I--” “Hi Rarity! Bye Rarity!” yelled Cheerilee as she dashed past. “Why, hello,” began Rarity before she was hit in the face with a cannonball-sized chunk of cake batter. “I apologize!” called a white-coated mare in a Rushian-accented voice as she zipped past. Rarity stared as they went, slowly shaking the dripping cake batter from her face and eyes. She happened to catch her reflection in a nearby shop window, and she gasped. Her mane -- messy! Her coat -- in disarray! Her tail -- frazzled! This meant... She had an excuse to go back to the spa! With a whinny of pleasure, Rarity ran off. *** Cheerilee threw herself low on the scooter as the next blast of cake batter soared right over her head and smacked into the street in front of her. She’ll hit me sooner or later! And Pinkie’s cake batter is extra syrupy and gooey, so I’ll get stuck even worse than with the taffy! I have to get out of her line of sight! She realized that she was almost at Golden Oaks Library. She took a hard right turn at the next corner, dodged another cake bullet as she passed in front of the flower trio (who went skittering away in fright as the cake blasted a crater into the Ponyville street), and then skidded to a halt just outside of the library. “Twilight! Twilight! Help!” The front half of the library door opened, and a brightly-smiling Twilight poked her head out. "Hi Cheerilee! What's up? Want me to show you where the pedagogy section is again?" “Not right now!” Cheerilee dove through the upper portion of the door, landing on the library floor. “Just let me hide in the basement! Distract my crazy wife until she goes away confused!” “Um, okay...” No sooner had Cheerilee ducked down inside the basement than the library door banged open. “Where... where is she?” gasped a panting Notary. “Where is Blackcherry?” “Oh. Uh... sorry. I can’t help you.” Cheerilee winced. Twilight was not a good dissembler. “I’m in the middle of a project. Solving very important problems.” “What problems?” asked the suspicious Rushian. “Well... uh... I was just going to look up the population of several major Equestrian cities for a survey! You know, Trottingham, Vancolter, Bitse, Fillydelphia, Manehattan. But I--” Notary quickly rattled off five numbers. “...oh. You, um, have a good memory.” “Thank you. Now, tell me where Blackcherry is. I saw her enter this building.” “Wait!” said Twilight, her footsteps following the Rushian's, presumably to stop her. “I also need, uh, to finish reading about the Count of Monte Cob-o--” “The protagonist gets revenge on the ponies who betrayed him and sent him to prison, and all the good ponies marry and live happily ever after,” said Notary. “Where is Blackcherry?” “Uh -- I have to look up the average precipitation of the Mild West!” Notary gave a number. “The average number of trees in a maple forest?” Another number. “The size of Equestria? The number of nobles, including heirs and relatives? The number of carpenters?” Three more numbers. “The -- the average airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?” “That’s -- wait." Notary was silent for a few moments, and Cheerilee began to smile. At last, her wife said, "An Equestrian swallow, or from around Amblerja? They fly at very different speeds.” “Equestrian, of course -- after a good meal and a full night’s sleep!” said Twilight. “And wearing a hat.” Cheerilee cautiously inched open the door to see that Notary was looking at Twilight, who looked weirdly happy at having finally managed to stump the Rushian. The schoolteacher began to creep out. “No,” said Twilight, listening to Notary giving a number. “I think you're neglecting drag coefficients and relativistic effects. You see..." Cheerilee approached the door. Home free! she thought. And then she stepped on a creaky board. Notary turned. "Stop!" Oh no! And Cheerilee raced out the door, hopped on her scooter and was gone. Notary chased after her. Twilight watched them go, blinking a few times in confusion. "Um... thanks for stopping by?" *** Cheerilee was feeling the burn from rushing around town all day. I need to get to a safe place and hole up. Maybe somewhere outside of town... one of the outlying farms. Yeah, doesn't Applejack have a few outbuildings? And the Farmer's Union farms have sheds. Just get out of town, hide in the fields, and wait for her to leave. Or get Winona to chase her off. She changed course again. If I go by Trixie's house, I can get into a few tight alleys where I might be able to shake her for a little bit. Then go straight out of town. And then... She saw Featherweight out of the corner of her eye. The foal seemed to be looking for something, but he quickly ducked away. Huh. Well, Featherweight's usually good. I'm sure he's not up to anything ridiculous. Now, I just need to get past Trixie's house without getting hit by cake, and then I should be out of danger! *** Trixie was dropping onto her sofa with a melodramatic sigh. "Worst. Day. Ever," she told Pokey. "Worse than the day the Tyrant Sun came back?" "Well--" "Or the day Philomena tried burning down Ponyville? Or parasprites almost ate Ponyville? Or Zecora used alcohol to wreck Ponyville? Or when the nobles decided not to fix it? Or--" "Pokey!" Trixie threw her hat at him, and managed to land it on his overly large horn. That better not poke through it. "I am your boss. When I say I've had a bad day, it's your job to comfort me, ask what happened, and fetch me a cookie and a glass of bourbon." "...I'll check, but I'm pretty sure that's not actually the point of my job." Pokey chuckled. "Still, curiosity is getting the better of me. What happened?" "Remember that awesome new spell I came up with to link doors?" Trixie levitated a bottle of bourbon to her from her desk. "Well, I might have slightly misplaced the mayor with it." Pokey blinked. "That, um. Sounds serious." "I was able to use the residual energy from the spell to track her position relative to wherever she wound up." Trixie's horn glowed, and a purple outline of a pony appeared in the air. It was walking around in what could only be described as an annoyed manner. "She's moving around enough that she's obviously not imprisoned or trapped anywhere, and she's moving slowly enough that she's not running away from anything, so she's not in danger. But I still have to find her global position and get her back soon, or Luna will probably blame me for it." "Imagine that." Trixie shook her head. "Like I said, this sucks. What else could possibly go wrong--" A blast of cake smashed through her window and pounded into her desk, spattering her paperwork with egg, flour, and high-quality sugar. Trixie was silent. Pokey giggled. "I'm finding the mayor from under my bed," announced Trixie at last. *** Meanwhile, on Sweet Apple Acres, two earth ponies were returning home with a small bag of surplus apples and a large bag of bits. “Ah’m tellin’ ya, Big Mac, those apples ain’t right! Ain’t no reason anypony should pickle an apple! Ya wanna pickle somethin’, pickle a pickle!” said Applejack. “That’s why they call ‘em pickles!” “Actually, they’re cucumbers before they’re pickles,” said Big Macintosh. “Whatever. But ya don’t pickle apples. There oughta be a law!” Applejack kicked a rock out of her way. “Just imagine if that was somepony’s first apple. They’d swear off apples fer life!” Big Macintosh thought for a moment. “Well, Ah liked it.” “Oh, ya’d eat anythin’. Ya’d eat yar own head if ya could.” Big Macintosh smiled, then stuck his tongue out and carefully licked the tip of his nose. “Ah don’t know, AJ. Ah don’t taste that good.” Applejack looked at him -- and then dissolved into laughter. “Feel a little better?” asked Big Macintosh. “Yeah, sure.” Applejack smiled. “Ah guess Ah just put so much care inta apples, Ah don’t get it when Ah taste some that don’t make no sense.” “It’s what they like in Moscolt,” said Big Macintosh. “Ah’m sure Apple Trust Moscolt would find our apples too sweet.” “Ah guess...” “Applejack!” The two earth ponies turned to see Cheerilee speeding towards them on a scooter. “Hide me!” she gasped, and then dashed into a barn and slammed the door behind her. Applejack looked at Big Macintosh. “Should we be worried about that?” “Eyup.” A party wagon rolled up, with a tired-looking white-coated mare on top. “Hello again,” she said. “Did my wife come by?” The two ponies paused. “Wife?” asked Applejack. “Yes.” Notary looked suspiciously at the barn. “I am looking for my wife. Is she here?” “Er...” said Applejack. “Because I have some things to say to her. About why, if you promise your wife that you will annul your marriage, you actually do it.” “Uh,” said Applejack. “And why you should not dismiss the first promise you make to your wife to cheat on her. With a stallion.” Her eyes flashed. “So I am looking for her. Have you seen her?” Applejack looked at her for a long moment. And then she said, “Big Mac, ya know how ya told ma Ah gotta learn when Ah can do things maself an' when Ah need help?” “Eyup?” “Ah think this is one of those times Ah need help.” Big Macintosh looked at Notary’s expression. It was an expression that said ‘I will tear down this barn if I have to.’ “...Eyup.” The two Apple siblings stepped between Cheerilee and the barn. Applejack looked as stern as she could. "Now, Miss--" Notary saw an open window about halfway up the barn. Darting around the Apples with surprising speed, and climbing up some conveniently placed hay bales, she hopped inside. “Now I have you!” Applejack and Big Macintosh looked at each other. "Uh," said Applejack. "Ah--" From inside the barn came a few cries. The cows mooed. The pigs squealed. The poultry began to squawk uproariously. “Hah!” Cheerilee yelled. “Can’t catch me now!” And then she jumped from the highest window, a half-dozen chickens tied to her with lengths of hay. The chickens flapped and slowed her fall, and she landed softly to the ground. She quickly untied the chickens, then ran to recover the scooter. “Bye Applejack! I’ll be by later to pick up some apples!” “Get back here!” Notary burst through the barn door on the back of a gigantic pig. “I’m going to get you!” “Ma’am!” said Big Macintosh, in a slightly louder voice. “We can’t allow ya ta hurt Cheerilee. She's a dear friend of ours, an' this whole town.” “What can you do about it?” snapped Notary. The pig looked at Applejack, who nodded slightly, and then it gave a mighty heave. Notary went flying into the nearest mud puddle. Cheerilee took advantage of the opportunity to speed away. *** Beebop carefully manipulated the equipment until everything was perfect, and then began to play back the record. What sounded was a series of banging, booming sounds with a heavy beat and a lot of energy. Beebop grinned as she continued listening, making sure the music had been recorded from the other records perfectly. This mix disk had to be perfect, after all. “Hey kiddo!” said Vinyl Scratch, walking through the door with a hay pizza and some oat soda. “Want a snack?” Beebop shook her head. “No time! I’ve got to get this done really really fast!” “What’s it for?” asked Vinyl, hopping onto a cushion and guzzling a long gulp of soda straight from the bottle. “Miss Cheerilee’s wife is mad at her, so I need to come up with some really romantic tunes to get them together!” Beebop grinned as she carefully removed the record and tucked it into a sleeve. “This is GONNA BE AWESOME!” she yelled. Vinyl chuckled. “How are you picking out romantic songs?” Beebop grinned. “Well, romance has ENERGY! And PASSION! And... and FUN! So I’m picking the most energetic and passionate and fun music!” She put a new record on, and a rapid wubstep song began blasting out. “Perfect! Miss Cheerilee will love this!” “Awesome!” said Vinyl. “How’d you come up with this idea, anyway?” “Well, Miss Cheerilee always says we should do what we’re passionate about to make others happy! And I love music! And I want to make her happy! After that, it was easy--” Featherweight ran into the studio. “Scootaloo says we have to get everything together! Miss Cheerilee and Miss Notary are heading back into town!” “Right!” Beebop grabbed the record and hopped off the table. “Vinyl? May I borrow one of your record players, please?” “Sure thing, kiddo. I’ll set up a speaker too, if you want.” Vinyl grinned. “Give ‘em romance so strong it knocks their hooves off!” Beebop blinked. “...that was a metaphor.” “You’re sure it won’t actually knock their hooves off? That sounds like it could hurt.” “Yes. Yes, I’m sure.” *** Cheerilee skidded into the center of town, then found she could go no further -- she was too tired to move even another inch. The teacher bent over the appropriated scooter, gasping for breath. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea... “Blackcherry! I have you now!” Cheerilee turned to see Notary, looking just as tired as she, slowly sliding into the town square on Pinkie’s (now slightly battered) party wagon. Sweat, and a little mud, streamed down her face, but her gaze was still strong and sure. “You won’t get away!” Cheerilee heard distant hoofsteps approaching, probably Applejack's and Big Macintosh's, but she knew they wouldn't reach her in time. “But Natalia--” “WAIT!” The voice was high pitched and squeaky, yet still incredibly loud. Both mares turned to see Sweetie Belle at the head of a large group of foals. “You can’t fight each other!” said Scootaloo. “You’re married!” Notary blinked. “Who are they?” Cheerilee sighed to herself. Uh oh. “My students.” “...why are they getting involved in our dispute?” “They’re an... involved bunch.” Cheerilee turned towards her class and put her best smile on. “Now, class, this is an adult matter. I--” “But Miss Cheerilee!” protested Scootaloo. “We couldn’t let you to be mad at each other. So we set up the perfect date!” Cheerilee and Notary looked at each other, than the orange foal. “What?” managed Cheerilee, though she dreaded the answer. “Here!” Scootaloo pointed at a large picnic cloth. It had been set up with heart-shaped plates and pots, jeweled glasses and silverware, and what looked like chocolate covered apples. Next to it was a speaker, helpfully labeled ‘FOR ROMANTIC MUSIC.’ “See? We’re all sure if you just have a fun date, you’ll fall in love again!” said Scootaloo. Notary blinked. “We were never in--” “Come on!” The foals hurried forward and dragged the two earth ponies to the picnic blanket. “See how nice this is?” Notary opened her mouth to say something, but Apple Bloom quickly shoved an apple into it before she could. Notary chewed for a moment, then spat it out with widened eyes. "This tastes like paint! And mustard!" Cheerilee examined the apples, even licking one. "Uh--" "Are your students trying to poison me?!" "No, Natalia--" But Beebop hit the speaker, and the rest of Cheerilee’s response was lost in a blast of wubstep. Notary put her hooves over her ears. “Your students are crazy!” she yelled at Cheerilee. “Don’t insult my students!” yelled Cheerilee. “You are also crazy!” Cheerilee frowned. “I’m not the one who spent all day chasing somepony over Ponyville!” “I am not the one who cheated on her wife within hours of marriage that was her idea in the first place!” “I’m not...” *** Snips and Snails looked down from the top of a nearby building. Snails slowly shook his head. “See? That plan didn’t work. Now they’re just yelling.” Indeed, Notary and Cheerilee seemed to be mostly screaming at each other, while the foals looked at them in various states of dismay. Notary slammed a hoof down, knocking the apples and place settings about, and sending a few foals running after them in a futile effort to save the picnic. “Fortunately, the Great Snailsini has a plan!” He waved at Snips. “Help me get this on top of them!” The two had spent the afternoon putting together two gigantic balls of stickyness. Held together by glue, tape, taffee, and every other sticky thing they could find, they were confident no pony could escape its clutches. Such gluiness could easily stick the two wives together and force them to reconcile. “What happens once they love each other again?” asked Snips, as they pushed the balls near the edge. “How do we unstick them?” Snails paused, just as the ball went over the edge. “Oh. Thinking about that would have been a good idea.” *** Notarystood on her hind legs to throw the punch in Cheerilee's face, but then something heavy fell on her back and rolled away... dragging her with it. And then things got very confusing. When the world stopped spinning, she realized that she was stuck in some gooey mess, more or less facing Cheerilee, also stuck. And the foals -- now including two odd-looking unicorns -- had surrounded them. “Blackcherry?” asked Notary. “What’s going on?” “I have no idea.” Snails grinned. “See, Scootaloo? They’re already talking nicely again! We told you our idea was better!” Scootaloo frowned. “What idea? You just dropped two sticky balls off a roof!" "Two balls?" asked Alula. "Where did the other one go?" *** Trixie sighed. "Thanks for the short notice, Windowpane. Looks great." She rapped a hoof on the freshly-replaced window a few times to test it. "But why'd you bring two windows over?" "Oh, I was talking to Pinkie," said the friendly glazier. "She seemed to think you'd need two today." "Oh, come on. Even I've never needed a window replaced twice in one day--" A large sticky ball bounced through the window, shattering it and spattering over the carpet. "...I'm going back under my bed, where things make sense," announced Trixie, before going invisible and hurrying upstairs. Windowpane shrugged. Vacation in Prance, here I come! And he once again began to fix the window. *** Scootaloo was frowning. "You still disobeyed orders, Snips and Snails!. That's insubordination!” “Wait, why do you get to give us orders?” asked Snips. A pony with a tiara on her head seemed about ready to protest that the orange pony was doing the green unicorn a favor by giving him orders, but refrained at the last moment. “Siccing your foals on me? That was your strategy?” demanded Notary. “I didn’t sic them! They just did it on their own!” “They are foals. Do you honestly think they would all work together on an overcomplicated plan with dubious prospects of success for no apparent reason?” “Yes.” “Um..." said a new voice. "What’s going on?” A gray pony in a mailmare’s outfit, with a young purple foal riding on her back, had just floated down and landed, the two Apple siblings running up behind them. The gray pony looked at the two earth ponies in the sticky ball. “What happened to you?” “My students,” said Cheerilee. The mailmare nodded. “Oh. Should I distribute all the parent-teacher notices again?” “Yes, thank you.” Ditzy smiled. "Look on the bright side. You've sent out so many this year, you qualify for a volume discount on stamps!" "...yippee." The purple foal looked between the two adults. “So... um... now that you’re... uh, stuck there... maybe you could talk out your problems?” “There is nothing to talk out,” hissed Notary. “But there has to be!” Dinky’s eyes were wide. “Wives should love each other! That's why I got my Momma! She's the lovingest Momma in all the world, and she can help you love each other like you should!” “Yeah!” said Scootaloo. “Parents should love each other!” “We are not parents!” said Notary. “To be a parent, a stallion has to be involved in some way!” "Really? How?" Sweetie Belle blinked. "I asked my sister, but she won't tell me until I'm older." Cheerilee sighed. “Class... I appreciate your concern, but this is an issue that Miss Notary and I have to work out on our own. And I thought I told you not to find me any new love interests.” “We’re not!” said Sweetie Belle. “We’re helping you get back with a previous love interest!” She beamed. I think I need to start teaching them about what rules-lawyering is and why ponies shouldn’t do it, thought Cheerilee. “And you aren’t working it out!” continued Dinky. “You’re just running around!” “That’s because she was chasing me!” said Cheerilee. “That’s because you wouldn't stop!” said Notary. “Well, now nopony’s chasing anypony or not-stopping,” said Dinky, in a satisfied voice. “So now you can work things out! ...right?” "Yeah!" said Apple Bloom, before her siblings shushed her. Ditzy paused for a moment, then looked at Cheerilee and Notary. “Would it help if we went somewhere more private?” “There is nothing to discuss!” said Notary, in an exasperated voice. “I trusted you, Blackcherry. I had never been to a party before. I had never drunk to excess. You promised you would look out for me and protect me. That nothing bad would happen. And now I find out that you lied, that you married me and pretended you had canceled it, and for all these years you kept it a secret. Was any of it honest?” She frowned. “What if I had married another pony, Blackcherry? What if they found out and thought I had another mare on the side? This could have seriously hurt my life -- but you did not care, because all that mattered to you was the party and the fun. I did not trust many ponies. But I trusted you. And you let me down, you lied, and--” “I didn’t lie!” protested Cheerilee. “I was just... I...” She paused, and then the words burst out of her: “You never smiled! You were never happy! And I wanted you to be happy just once, because I liked you and I knew how hard you worked! And you had so much fun at Summer Sun, and I was so happy to see you happy I didn’t want to make you upset again! And I just... went along with things, and I forgot all about the marriage! I’d have signed the papers any time you asked! I just didn’t want to make you unhappy again, so soon after Summer Sun, when I saw you really smile for the first time. And then time passed and I forgot.” The two were silent for a moment. “Natalia,” said Cheerilee. “I’m... sorry. I should have been more careful, I shouldn’t have led us into that marriage parlor and bingo hall in the first place. And I should have gotten the papers filed, or told you when I didn’t.” Notary sighed. “...I was not aware you were working so hard to make me happy. I thought... I thought it was just another party for you, that I was just tagging along. I apologize for my lack of understanding. And, in the end, I suppose no harm was done...” The foals all leaned closer. “I am sorry,” said Notary, at last. “For chasing you today, and for not considering your own motives.” “Forgiven?” asked Cheerilee, a small smile on her face. “Forgiven.” There was a moment of silence. And then the foals all went, “AWWWW!” And Scootaloo, with a big bright smile, yelled, “NOW KISS!” The two started and turned to the foals. “Kiss?” repeated an incredulous Notary. “We cannot kiss!” “Why not?” challenged Sweetie Belle. “Aren’t you two married?” “We’re... stuck in a sticky ball,” said Cheerilee, lamely. “Can’t move a muscle.” “Besides,” said Notary, “When have we ever really kissed?” “What?” said Cheerilee. “What about when...” *** “Aha!” said Ogre, the chief of security at the mansion. “I knew there were two ponies lurking who shouldn’t be!” Cheerilee smiled at him, undaunted. This was another place Notary and Cheerilee had broken into in order to right a wrong -- in this case, to recover the money that one of the university bullies was extracting from the weaker students. This was, however, the first time they’d been caught. Cheerilee supposed she shouldn’t have had such gassy soda at dinner. The guards hadn’t seen either of them, but they’d definitely heard Cheerilee’s burps. “We’re not lurking!” said Cheerilee. “We were just looking for a romantic spot, and we got lost!” “Oh yeah?” the guard laughed. “You two don’t look romantically involved.” “Blackcherry, what are you doing?” whispered Notary. “I have a smoke bomb--” Cheerilee grabbed Notary. “Oh yeah? If we weren’t involved, would we do this?” And she embraced Notary and kissed her tightly. Notary stiffened, but seemed to go along with it, and Cheerilee smiled to herself as she ran her hooves along Notary’s body. No mare knew more about passion and love than she did. She knew it had to be a very convincing scene. “...uh,” said the guard, looking more confused than anything. “What?” “Hey!” Another guard ran up. “What’s going on?” The first one turned. “Found these two, but then they started kissing.” “What? Why?” “How should I know? I--” He turned back, but both mares had vanished into the shadows. Later, once the money was recovered, Cheerilee had turned to Notary. “By the way?” “Yes?” “You’re a terrible kisser. Three out of ten at most.” Notary blinked. “...what?” “Seriously. No technique, no form... didn’t know what to do with your tongue... and I think your eyelashes got tangled in mine.” Cheerilee smiled. “You still want to learn every useful skill, right? I know some ponies who can teach you how to kiss. They have a lot of experience.” Notary stared at her. “And on that note, I am taking a shower.” “What, I can’t critique your skills? You told me my lockpicking needed work!” “Well, it did!” “Hmph.” But Cheerilee smiled as her roommate left. “Eh. I bet I could get her up to a five, at least, with a little practice...” *** Cheerilee paused. “Okay, good point.” “Do you love each other again?” asked Apple Bloom, eyes big. “Did you make up?” asked Sweetie Belle. Ditzy frowned. “Foals... please give them some space. I’m sure all of your parents wouldn’t want you harassing them...” “But we have to know!” said Scootaloo. “We have to know if we saved their relationship!” Cheerilee was slowly pulling herself out of the sticky ball. “...I’ll tell you in class,” she said at last. Her head was swimming. She needed a drink. “Okay?” “But... can’t you tell us now?” asked Apple Bloom. “We worked real real hard on the date!” “And the sticky ball!” said Snips. “We knew you’d want us to work hard to help ponies we like -- like you!” said Featherweight. “And to put a lot of thought into it!” said Apple Bloom. “And to focus on all the little details to make everything just right!” added Diamond Tiara. “And to do what we’re PASSIONATE ABOUT!” yelled Beebop. Cheerilee managed to get her other legs free, and tumbled back to the ground. Despite everything, she could not help but be touched by the obvious effort her class had expended on this. “Our... relationship is better than it was,” she said. That’s true... she’s no longer trying to chase me down... It was enough for the foals. “YAAAAY!” they screamed, running around and hugging and high-hoofing each other. “Yay!” “Alright,” said Ditzy. “Now, I think Miss Cheerilee and Miss Notary want some time alone, so...” “Got it, Miss Doo!” Scootaloo began to lead the foals away. “Glad you’re back together with your wife, Miss Cheerilee! You should let us help plan your second honeymoon!” “Yay!” said the foals again, and left - Scootaloo grabbing her scooter out of the sticky ball as she ran by . Notary tugged herself out of the sticky ball. “...just to clarify, those foals are taught by you, yes?” “...they might be odd sometimes, but I still care for them,” said Cheerilee, simply. “Now... after that, I need a drink.” “I’ll join you.” As Cheerilee considered her response, her gaze fell to a ribbon on the ground; Sweetie Belle, probably, had been scattering them all over the place on the picnic cloth. She picked it up and made a note to return it to her. It was a nice ribbon, bright and grassy-green, and-- Wait. Grassy green... Her eyes widened -- she remembered, now, why Notary’s address had struck her as odd. “Good!” she said, at last. “I’d love to share a drink with an old friend like you.” Notary bowed her head. “We can catch up... talk about old times,” said Cheerilee. And more recent ones as well...
RemissionThe two ponies went, at Cheerilee's recommendation, to Berry Punch’s Bar and Soda Shop. They entered, placed their orders at the bar -- vodka and hay fries for Notary, cider and a carrot salad for Cheerilee -- and chose a quiet table in the back. The drinks came quickly, and Notary sipped hers. “Honestly, I was surprised to find out that you wound up here, Blackcherry.” “Why?” “You were always so rambunctious. I would have guessed that you would settle in a large metropolis with dozens of clubs, hundreds of bars, and thousands of potential suitors.” Notary smiled slightly. “Did you tire of that life?” “I suppose I just realized that I wanted something more stable.” Cheerilee smiled serenely. “Honestly, I still have a lot of fun. You couldn’t imagine how good it feels to see those students learning and understanding more about the world around them. We live in a fascinating land, after all, and there’s just so much to know! It’s always a joy to see them learn just a little bit more.” “There is indeed a lot to know,” said Notary. “Facts... skills...” she trailed off. “And sometimes it even matters.” Cheerilee frowned, but didn’t ask for clarification just yet. “There’s actually a few other things I want to ask you, though.” “The teacher needs more information?” Notary's smile grew. "And you always bragged about your superior academic performance." Cheerilee laughed. “Just because I’m a teacher doesn’t mean I know everything. Why, just last weekend a pony named Heavy Roller showed me how to repair a broken carriage wheel. I’m always learning, Natalia.” She smiled. “That’s good to hear.” “For instance, I learned who your previous employer was.” Notary froze. Cheerilee paused. She wasn’t sure she wanted to rock their friendship now, so soon after having made peace. But Notary and her former employer, the now-disgraced Duke Greengrass, had put the Elements through a lot of trouble in their efforts to obtain political control of the six mares. They had even targeted Cheerilee specifically, sending a magical lothario to try to seduce her and convince her to run off to Caneighda. Cheerilee knew that it might not have been Notary’s fault, as the Rushian could have been blackmailed or otherwise forced into it... but she thought that was unlikely, given what she knew of Notary. And she wanted to know the truth. “What I still don’t know,” said Cheerilee, “Is why.” “You knew my employer?” asked Notary. “Yes.” “For how--” “It doesn't matter,” said Cheerilee. “Stop. Just... tell me the truth. I want to know why my roommate tried to manipulate my life. You said you only recently learned about the marriage, so it wasn’t that. What was it?” Notary looked down. “You should already know, Blackcherry. How many times did I tell you what I... desired... to do in life?” Cheerilee sighed. “You always talked about wanting to matter, to be useful. But that doesn’t make sense. We both know how talented you are, Natalia. How many skills you have. With the skills we practiced, and your innate talents... you could do anything. Even become a Shadowbolt or spy, if you liked that kind of job. Or if you wanted to work for a politician, you could have picked a viceroy -- or even Luna. You didn't need to work for some Duke with delusions of grandeur.” Notary chuckled -- a harsh, dry sound. “For Luna? Nopony works for Luna.” It was such a strange statement that Cheerilee was momentarily flumexed. "...somepony ought to tell Luna that she's writing a lot of paychecks for no reason, then." "You know what I mean." "No, I don't. I mean, Trixie is Ponyville's Representative, and she--" “Does nothing of substance in that position!” Notary gulped the last of her vodka. “Luna is an alicorn, Blackcherry. She is omnipotent. She can do anything. There is nothing any of her staff does she could not do herself if she bothered. Luna could do everything Trixie does in her duties as Representative without expending the smallest amount of effort. Thus, everything Trixie does for that job is meaningless. It only needs to be done because Luna does not want to bother.” Cheerilee paused. “...Notary--" Notary waved for another order of vodka. “At first, I thought I could find something meaningful if I simply avoided specific careers. My family, for instance: I have two parents, two sisters, a brother, some cousins, and most of them are engaged in clerical work. I love them all very much, and I visit them often. But I looked at what they are doing with their lives... this one, fetching coffee for a businesspony. That one, typing up carbons for a minor noble. Her, running letters. Him, writing press releases. Another, a glorified maid.” She frowned. “They are all so intelligent. Many of them are smarter than I. And yet... none of them do anything that matters! They could all move to the Crystal Kingdom tomorrow, and I doubt anypony would notice! They have had no affect on the world whatsoever; nothing they do could not be done by other ponies. "And so I resolved to avoid that, to choose a more useful job... but then I moved to Canterlot, and I saw Luna in one of her public addresses. I saw her display her magic, and I read more about her powers in history books. I realized then that everything else I had considered -- general, businessmare, policemare, spy -- is just as irrelevant." She looked down. “I want to matter, Blackcherry. I want to do important work. I want to influence the world somehow. I should be able to! Everypony always told me how intelligent I was, how motivated and focused. I should be able to make some impact! But it would not be possible in Luna’s shadow. Luna can do anything I, or any other pony, can do. She is omnipotent; with a wave of her hoof she could have the world be as she wills it. If she decides tomorrow that all ponies should have six legs, two noses, and ears that can see, she could make it so with no more effort than you or I would need to blink. She allows the Court to exist, pays for an army of staff, in Canterlot and all over the nation, out of pity for those she has rendered irrelevent... or maybe just laziness. But I cannot live like that. Do you know what my cutie mark means, Blackcherry?” Cheerilee thought. Notary, like her, had been a blank flank in college, and the teacher hadn’t really examined her roommate's mark closely. She did so now, seeing a quill and parchment. “Writing?” “No." She shook her head. "It has been years since I told anypony what it truly means -- Greengrass encouraged me to let others believe what they wished about it. Apparently ambiguous cutie marks run in his family, and he liked the thought of me having one too. But look at it closely.” Notary slipped out from the booth. “A blank piece of parchment, and a ready quill. The tools of a stenographer, one who records other pony's deeds but does nothing herself. I obtained it when I was in the service of a writer, one desperate to finish his magnum opus before his imminent death, and who succeeded thanks to my help in organizing his research, taking down his notes when he was too ill to move, proofreading, even breaking into his office late at night to retrieve a file he had forgotten. I was happy when we finished, happy to make him happy, but then I saw that I had earned my cutie mark... and realized it was for nothing more than being a conduit to allow the world to see another pony's greatness." When she spoke again her voice was low. "I reject that talent. I will not be a mare who can only record the deeds of those greater than herself." “Natalia.” Cheerilee’s voice was soft. I can deal with her cutie mark angst later. This is more important. “I appreciate your desires. But they did not give you any right to hurt others the way you did. Did you think what would have happened to me had that pony brainwashed me? What happened to Carrot Top, or Lyra, or Octavia?” “I don’t claim to be a good pony.” Notary shook her head a little. “I never did. Maybe I am a bad pony... ethics was one class I was never very good at. But you asked why I did it, and I told you. I wanted to matter.” “...so you helped Greengrass, to try and overthrow Luna.” “Greengrass is not omnipotent. If he ruled the nation, he would need help only I could give him. My deeds would matter then.” Notary looked up at Cheerilee, her eyes blazing. “I helped him run Caneighda. I could help him run the nation -- I have the knowledge and the skills, and we could have moved Equestria into a new golden age, together. I couldn’t think of any better goal. To have that kind of influence, to usher in a new renaissance... I knew it was a long shot. He probably did too. But I had to try.” Cheerilee slowly nodded. “What happened to him, anyway?” “He lost his political influence after the Gala. He does not have the power to hurt you anymore, even if he wanted to. I can assure you he will never again be a threat to you or to other innocent ponies." “Good,” said Cheerilee. “He did bad things. You helped him.” She paused. “Why him in particular? If you wanted an ambitious pony, why not some other noble?” “He was the only one with the ambition and skill. The others... either pets content to be Luna’s lapdogs forever, or fools with no real hope of obtaining the needed power. He was the only one who had a chance, and now he’s gone.” She raised her glass morosely. “To the Duke.” “Natalia, he attacked me. And my friends.” “I know.” Notary shook her head. “But you cannot understand, Blackcherry. You don’t know what it is like to live in Canterlot. To be reminded, every time she passes you in the halls or shows up in Court, how little you are, how impossible it is for anything you do to matter. With one spell, she could feed everypony in the nation. Or cure every illness. Or teach every foal everything there is to know. Every single night, as the moon rose, I saw a reminder that the thing I wanted, to matter, just a little, was completely impossible." She paused. "Greengrass was not going to try to hurt her, Blackcherry. Just... obtain sufficient political power to force the Court to propose he be appointed Grand Duke, then run the nation for the duration of our lives. Make things grow where even Luna, it seemed, hadn’t been able to. That was all we wanted. Him -- to grow. Me -- to matter. Maybe we never had a chance... I don’t care. I had to try, and so did he.” "And that's why you hurt me, and my friends, and all the other ponies." Cheerilee locked eyes with her. "Because you wanted to matter. And you didn't think you could matter unless Luna were out of the way." Notary nodded. Cheerilee leaned back. “I appreciate you telling me, and I understand where you're coming from. But you’re wrong about something, Natalia. Other ponies do matter. Take me, for instance.” “I know that you saved the world.” Notary sipped her second vodka. “I mean no disrespect, but my understanding was that was largely luck, and that many ponies could have wielded the Elements-- including Luna Herself.” “I wasn’t referring to that.” Cheerilee shook her head. “Every day I teach my class something is a day they learn, and grow, and become better ponies. I’ve been teaching in Ponyville for years now, Natalia. I’ve taught many foals. I’ve had an influence on each and every one of their lives.” “Luna could do it--” “Sure, maybe Luna could have done it better. Maybe she could have cast a spell and poured knowledge into their heads -- I don’t know. But she didn’t. She wasn’t here. I was, and I was.” Cheerilee frowned. “I’ve influenced so many lives, Natalia. And all for the better. Those foals are building, and creating, and growing, and enjoying life, thanks to my influence. You did all those things so you could matter... but what influence have you really had? Greengrass is destroyed, and anything he was trying to grow is probably gone along with him. What can the world remember you for -- that you would want to be remembered for, anyway?” Notary was silent for a long moment. And then she said, “I know.” And she hung her head. Cheerilee had been expecting her to angrily defend herself, or protest. She wasn’t sure what to do next. “Natalia--” “No. You are right. I... I don’t matter, and I never could have mattered.” Natalia slowly got out of the booth for the second time. “All I have done is hurt ponies, and for nothing. I was a fool to think that it could have turned out differently. I am... I am sorry I wasted your time, Blackcherry. I never should have come here. I will file the remaining paperwork to erase our marriage, and you need never think of me again.” “Where are you going?” asked Cheerilee. “Back to Moscolt. I will visit my family for a while, and then look for work. I doubt news of my disgrace has reached Rushia. And with the upcoming war against the Tyrant, the military will need more clerical staff.” Her voice sounded completely broken. “Goodbye, and--” “Sit down,” said Cheerilee. Notary paused. “Sit. Down,” repeated Cheerilee. Notary slowly returned to her seat. “What now?” Cheerilee said, slowly, “Do you remember our adventures in college?” “Yes...” “All those ponies we helped -- Sunshine Grace and all the others. Natalia, we mattered. That mattered. Didn’t you see how happy Sunshine was when we got her necklace back? When we exposed all the rules Hard-Nose was breaking so he could be properly punished? When we beat back Ogre and his gang? That mattered!” “Others could have done it. We only did it because they did not bother--” “But they didn’t! Natalia, why is it so important that you do something nopony else could do?” Cheerilee shook her head. “Why can’t it be enough just to... to help others where we can?” Notary was silent for a long while. “If there is nothing I alone can do,” she murmured, “Then why do I exist? What is the point of any of it? To live, and love, and work, and know all the while that any of it could be done without you? Call me evil if you want, Blackcherry. I won’t deny it. But I want to matter.” “I won’t call you evil for wanting to matter,” said Cheerilee. She reached out a hoof and put it on Notary’s. “I just think you’re misguided, for not understanding how you already have. In good ways... and, yes, in bad. I can’t erase that. But you do matter, Natalia, and you always have.” Notary was silent for a few moments. “Am I one of your students now?” she said at last. “Just an old friend. Whom I think has made some mistakes... big mistakes, even... but still an old friend.” Cheerilee caught her gaze. “You are incredibly talented, Natalia. You know so much. You have an eidetic memory. You have such drive, and determination, and when you set your mind on something nothing can stop you. If you wanted to, you could do so much good in the world.” Cheerilee smiled slightly. “Isn’t that what you really want? Not just to ‘matter’, but to change the world for the better? I remember our adventures in college. I remember the smile you tried to hide once we got Sunshine Grace’s necklace back. I remember when we talked about being professional do-gooders after college, how even you couldn’t fully convince yourself it was all a joke.” She leaned forward. “I can’t deny that you lost your way, Natalia. But if you get back on the right path, you could help so many ponies, whatever career you choose. If that’s what you want? It’s possible, Natalia. I know it.” Natalia looked away. “I’m surprised at your forgiveness after what I put you through.” “I’ve made mistakes too. Like... when I contacted your family, to find your address a few months ago. That was how I found out you worked for Greengrass, because they gave me, as your address, his estate in Caneighda. But also... they mentioned how you had tried to write me after college. How I was so overwhelmed -- teaching foals is much harder than any job we ever pulled in the city -- that I kept putting off my responses. Maybe if I’d kept in touch more things would have been different.” “Wait.” Notary shook her head. “I may be... I have done bad things. They are not your fault.” “No, but as your friend -- as old friends -- maybe I could have done more.” Cheerilee shrugged. “I don’t know. We can’t change the past, and we’ll both have to live with what we’ve done. I just know that, even after what you did... there’s still good in you, and so much ability to turn that good into something that helps other ponies. If you just stop worrying so much about making sure nopony else can do what you do, trust me -- you’ll do so much that all the world will know your name.” Natalia wasn’t able to respond, but Cheerilee could see her soft smile in the reflection of the polished mahogany table. “Now. Where are you staying?” “I am not... I mean, I had planned to make you sign the annulment papers today, and leave on an evening train to return to Moscolt. I have no residence in town.” Cheerilee rose. “Alright. You’re staying with me for a few days, until you get back on your hooves.” “What?” Notary’s mouth dropped. “But -- but I cannot--” “Look, if we’re married, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with us sharing a house.” Cheerilee giggled. “Come on. Everything else aside... I really would like to catch up with you. And if you start lapsing back into your existential angst, I want to be able to hit you with a newspaper.” “Will you pour cider on me again?" said Notary. "After that one prom--" “Hey, the psych journal said that was a legitimate way to enforce discipline.” Notary managed a soft chuckle. “I wouldn’t feel right, Blackcherry. I’ve hurt you. And your friends--” “I forgive you, and they don’t get a vote who I bring into my house,” said Cheerilee. “Now, come on.” *** Notary paused as they stepped outside. “...I just realized, I dropped my saddlebag outside the schoolhouse.” “Was anything important in it?” "The annulment papers." Notary frowned. "They should be fine, unless the foals damaged them for some reason." Cheerilee hesitated. "Um..." *** "What do you mean, I missed out? I wanted to help Miss Cheerilee too!" complained Firelock. She was standing in her bedroom, looking upset. "I can't believe Mom grounded me today, of all days! On helping-Miss-Cheerilee day! It's awful!" Tootsie Flute shrugged. "Sorry. But we put together a big picnic lunch for them, and now they like each other!" She smiled apologetically. "All that's left is to return Miss Notary's saddlebag. Apple Bloom had it, but she's got chores now, so she asked me to deliver it. But I don't know where they are..." Firelock was already opening the saddlebag and rooting through it. "Apples... apples... hey, papers!" She took one out. "Annulment? What's that?" Tootsie Flute squeaked. "Annulment? That's what makes married ponies not be allowed to see each other anymore! I read about it in a book!" "So... this paper's why Miss Cheerilee was upset?" asked Firelock. "Well, then, I can help after all! I know what to do!" Tootsie Flute was about to object that it might not work quite like that when Firelock grabbed the papers from the saddlebag, dumped them onto her floor, and then began to charge her horn. It glowed brightly, almost seeming to swell with power, and then-- When the smoke cleared and Tootsie Flute could hear again, she was staring at a charcoal-coated Firelock, who looked rather abashed. "Okay, maybe I didn't know what to do." Tootsie Flute could only blink. "...at least the mean forms are destroyed?" Tootsie Flute put a hoof on her head. "Maybe your Mom should have grounded you for two days." *** "...I'm sure they're fine! But, just in case, I'll write the appropriate offices and get them to send replacements," said Cheerilee. "What could have happened to them?" asked Notary. "Oh, you know... Ponyville things. Anyway! Let me show you my house!" *** It was a nice house, Notary thought. Perhaps a few too many goldfish. But otherwise, she concluded, it was comfortable enough. “I can sleep on the couch,” said Notary. “What, as my guest? I’ll take the couch,” said Cheerilee. Notary raised an eyebrow. “...is this some scheme to get us to agree to both take the bed?” “Why, would you like that?” teased Cheerilee. Notary blushed scarlet. “Er...” Cheerilee laughed. “Just kidding! Seriously, though, you take the bed. You’re my guest. It’s only proper.” And so Notary found herself alone in Cheerilee’s bedroom, still struggling to comprehend all that had happened to her in the past few hours. Blackcherry’s being so friendly... like I’m back in college again... *** “Yay!” said Cheerilee, beaming. “We showed that corrupt officer who’s boss!” Truncheon was a Guard who often patrolled the university neighborhood. He had enjoyed hassling the students, giving them a hard time and taking any excuse to write them up for citations. He was pushing eighty and had a deep and abiding hatred of ‘foals these days.’ But he’d gone too far when Cheerilee had seen him taking a payoff from one of the slimier students, an older one who had come back to university after three consecutive businesses failed, who was widely suspected of dealing in crib sheets and term papers. And so Cheerilee and Notary had carefully set up a plan, carried it out, and Truncheon and the student had been tricked into conducting another payoff in full view of the Dean and a captain of the Guard. And the students wouldn’t be harassed by Truncheon anymore, and academic honesty was restored. Notary smiled briefly. “We did a good job.” “We sure did!” Cheerilee sprang up on her hind legs and dropped over Notary, giving her a hug and a peck on the cheek. “We’re awesome!” Notary laughed. “You’re feeling touchy-feely today, aren’t you?” “You bet! Let’s celebrate!” And they did. *** Notary carefully lay back on the bed. She suddenly felt very weary. Her rapid flight from Canterlot, her discovery of the marriage, her chase in Ponyville... it was exhausting, physically and emotionally. But at least she had a place to stay while she decided what to do next. “Thank the stars for old friends,” she said, and collapsed into a deep sleep. Author's Note The chapter title, 'Remission', is being used with its definition of 'forgiving and canceling a debt.' As opposed to something like cancer. Just FYI. You know, I think Cheerilee is a very nice pony. Looks like Cutie Mark Failure Syndrome has claimed another victim. Poor Notary. I also like how she seems to be overestimating Luna's power. Honestly, I think that turning all ponies into... uh, whatever those things are that she described... would take a little more effort than an eyeblink. My favorite bit here was writing Cheerilee talking to Notary, and explaining that, while she can't forget the bad things Notary did, she cares for her enough to forgive her and even help her back on her hooves, and how that offer of hope helps stop Notary from giving up and going home in disgrace. I love writing a scene in which two separated folks make up. :-) Sorry, turns out we didn't get to wrapping up Trixie's story in this chapter -- my bad. I couldn't get it to fit right. But we'll definitely do it in the next one, since that's the epilogue, after all. We'll learn more about what actually happened to Greenie in 'The Duke Abides,' which I'm writing as a side-story set earlier in this season. Anachronistic order for the win!
ReturnA few days passed in relative peace. Cheerilee returned home from another exciting set of lessons with her eager foals. “Notary!” she chirped. “Did you have a fun day?” Notary poked her head out of the kitchen. “I suppose. I spent most of it at the library, but I also finished the front of your house.” Cheerilee looked around and noted the sparkling-clean living room. “You really don’t need to do this,” she protested. “I want to,” said Notary, simply. “I am staying at your house rent-free... I want to help you.” Cheerilee smiled. Even though other ponies could do it? she thought, but did not ask. A special talent is what a pony loves to do. You want to matter and make a difference, Notary. Even when you got your cutie mark, it was after you'd helped a writer produce his final work, which I bet he could never have done if not for you. Call it 'changing the world' or 'making a difference' or just 'mattering', I'll bet that's your talent. Not 'recording the deeds of others.' But Notary would need to discover this on her own -- she certainly hadn't agreed when Cheerilee had broached the subject over the past few days. So she just said, “Thank you, then," as she smiled at her former roommate. "It looks wonderful." The teacher entered the kitchen, where Notary -- wearing a maid’s outfit that she’d found in Cheerilee’s closet; it looked kind of frilly but Notary said that it helped keep her coat clean while she dusted or swept -- served Cheerilee’s favorite kind of tea and a few fresh pieces of sliced fruit. Honestly, I could kind of get used to having her as a maid, thought Cheerilee, with another smile. She knew Notary wouldn’t go for that long-term, and she knew Notary’s passions lay elsewhere... but a mare could dream. “What were you studying in the library?” “What to do next,” said Notary. “It was... interesting... to do nothing for three days, but I think I’m read to get back into the world. I just had to decide what to do.” “What did you decide?” “Of my legitimate skills, I would probably be most useful as a functionary in some local government,” said Notary. “I have experience that I gained with Greengrass and also from study. I was looking for towns that need somepony like me... somepony who has an encyclopedic knowledge of the law, the diligence and industry to help solve problems, and so forth.” She paused. “There are some towns and cities... even small provinces... in Equestria that are not doing as well as others. Some due to changes in industry, some due to the shift in focus caused by Corona's return, a few because their nobles are neglectful. I want to go to one of those towns and turn it around.” “Notary, that’s wonderful,” said Cheerilee. “Which one did you pick?” “Bitsberg. It's one of the smallest provinces in the nation; it consists of one industrial town and its outlying farms. It was largely neglected by its noble, the former Baronetess of Bitsberg, and its industry was slowly supplanted by Detrot, Stalliongrad, and two or three other cities. That only accelerated once Corona returned and the government began focusing more on military contracts, none of which Bitsberg was able to obtain. For the past several years, Bitsberg’s had less and less industry with every financial quarter. The town is collapsing -- first it was just the factories, but by now the farms are falling apart, and even the city's infrastructure is breaking down, from the streets to its one rail line.” She paused. “I think I can save it. There are laws they can use, ancient ones that few ponies besides myself know, but that are still in effect and can be used to obtain some government support. There are some procedures they can take... ordinances, and so forth, to make the citizens use what they have in more efficient ways. I can help them. I can save that town.” “Without,” said Cheerilee, her tone underscoring her words, “Any of Greengrass’s kind of actions, I hope.” “Yes. No weeding. No destroying the weak as fertilizer for the strong. Just good, honest work for a town that needs me.” Notary nodded slowly. “They have no leader at this moment. Bitsberg has no Representative; because the town and the province are the same, the duties of the Representative were folded into those of the Baronetess to save money. But the Baronetess of Bitsberg has just been removed from her position due to her neglect of her province. The position is currently vacant, so there is nopony to advocate for the town in the national government. As for the Lord, he has given up hope and does not know how to use whatever power he has to help his town.” She lowered her head. “I can help the Lord and its citizens. I can save the town... and perhaps, now, with the threat of the Tyrant, it might be even beyond Luna’s power to focus on every little--” “Stop,” said Cheerilee. “You can’t worry about that, Notary. Do you think the citizens of that town will care whether Luna could have saved them but didn’t bother, or whether she couldn’t in the first place? All that matters is that they be saved. If you can do that... that would be a great deed, Notary. It would matter.” “I have to try,” said Notary. “I realize now that I have not wanted anything as badly as I want to save this city. All that work with Greengrass, it was... interesting... but this matters to me in a way none of that did.” She bowed her head. “Thank you for helping me to understand what I was missing.” “I’m a teacher, Natalia. It’s what we do.” Cheerilee smiled. “I do hope you’ll say goodbye to the class, though. They’ll want to know what happened to my wife.” “Speaking of that...” Notary sighed. “The forms are lost. I think the foals somehow destroyed them or let them fly off into the breeze. They would take some time to get here from Canterlot; it will require requisitioning official records. I--” “Don’t worry about it,” said Cheerilee. “You do what you need to do. When the forms arrive, I’ll fill them out and mail them to you. We’ll get it sorted. But please don’t let papers that even you barely care about anymore stop you from your dream.” “I won’t. Thank you.” The two were silent for a moment. “So! What else did you do today?” asked Cheerilee. “I cleaned your living room, dusted the shelves, swept the floor... oh, and I alphebatized your fish,” said Notary. Cheerilee blinked. “...what was that last one?” “Your fish. They were out of order, so I rearranged them appropriately.” Cheerilee blinked. “Uh.” But... but some of them like the sun! And some like shade! Now the shady ones might be in the sun and vice versa! I have to fix this! "...and also civic administration." "What?" asked Cheerilee, realizing that Notary had been talking even as her thoughts drifted to her fish. "What do you mean by--" And then somepony began pounding on Cheerilee's door. Cheerilee hurried over and opened it, only to almost be run over by Trixie and Twilight Sparkle. "Hi Cheerilee!" called Trixie as they ran. "Sorry! Emergency!" "What?" managed Cheerilee. “What’s going on?” “Magic emergency!” said Trixie. “Come on... hurry up, Twilight!” “I’m working on it!” said a flustered Twilight. “Let’s just... there!” One of Cheerilee’s doors, the one to her bathroom, glowed yellow. Notary looked at Cheerilee as they followed the two unicorns into the hallway. “Is this normal?” “...kind of. Usually not both of them at once,” said Cheerilee. To them, she said, “I want to know--” The unicorns' horns glowed brightly, the door burst open... and Mayor Ivory Scrolls fell out. Cheerilee stared blankly. "We summoned her back!" said Twilight, beaming. "Told you it would be easy to reverse the spell once we identified her location!" “Mayor Scrolls!” said Trixie, ignoring Twilight utterly as she helped the mayor to her hooves. "Are you alright?" “I’m fine,” said Scrolls, woozily getting up. She was wearing a viking hat and had a big mace slung in one of her saddlebags. On her barrel she wore silvery metal armor. Twilight gasped. “Did Trixie send you back to Viking times?" "Twilight, I--" "Did you have to fight and wage war to survive?" "Twilight, I--" "I’m so sorry, Mayor Scrolls! I would never have helped her learn that spell otherwise! I didn’t mean to force you to become a barbarian chief and pillage the coastal cities! I--” “Twilight Sparkle!” said Mayor Scrolls. “Trixie sent me to Coneigh Island. These are from a gift shop.” She took off the helmet, which had a label indicating it had been made in Detrot. “They aren’t real.” There was a pause for a few moments. “Oh,” said Twilight. “Well... at least it's not as bad as becoming an actual Viking?” "Hey!" said Trixie. "Coneigh Island is six hours from here by train!" She paused. "They have a telegraph! Why didn't you tell anypony where you were?" "I telegraphed my family." "Why didn't you telegraph me? Or just come home on your own?" "That would have cost money which I would have had to bill to the town, since it was as part of my duties that I participated in your experiment at all." Scrolls smiled serenely. "And I was confident that you would find a way to extract me without the town expending additional revenue. Besides, while I was there I took advantage of the opportunity to try to bolster our town's tourism industry." "Tourism?" "Well, it seems many ponies are interested in meeting the Elements. Especially you. I talked with some of the tour group managers at Coneigh Island, and was able to set up some tours. They'll bring in trainfuls of ponies to Ponyville to take their photographs with an Element, eat, shop, and maybe even invest in local businesses! Of course, it is contingent on finding a willing Element to talk to these groups..." Trixie's ears perked up. "Which groups? Amateur magicians? Foals? Courtiers?" "I believe the first tour has ponies from the Retirement Home for Elderly Ponies who Love Garlic." Trixie opened her mouth, then shut it. After a few moments, she sighed and said, "I suppose I'd look like a complete prat if I said 'no' to that after I accidentally sent you all the way to another province." Scrolls said nothing. "...alright, fine." Scrolls beamed. "Have a good day Miss Sparkle, Miss Punch, Miss... um, maid pony. Dame Trixie, the first tour group arrives in four days at nine o'clock in the morning sharp." She began to leave. "Oh, and one last thing. If this ever happens again, check before summoning somepony back from somewhere. I was on a date with a very nice carnival barker.” And she left. Trixie groaned. “...sorry to barge in, Cheerilee. The return spell picked a random door in town; we couldn't control which one it was. I think we can safely safe that Abracascooby wasn’t the great wizard he was cracked up to be." She turned to Twilight. "Thanks." "No problem! Happy to help." The two unicorns began to leave, the earth ponies staring as they left. Twilight was asking, "Does this happen often?" "No, of course not!" Trixie forced a laugh. "Why?" "Well, I had a little time to talk to my alternate self in that other world, and she said things like this happened about twenty-four times a year to her, often during weekend mornings. She had a theory..." The two left, Twilight still talking about the other-world's Twilight. Cheerilee and Notary looked at each other for a moment. "That is what I meant by 'civic administration,'" said Notary at last. "Mayor Scrolls' actions while in Coneigh--" "Talk later." Cheerilee began to head back to her kitchen. "Cider now." *** “You’re leaving?” said Scootaloo, sounding completely horrified. “But why? Don’t you love Miss Cheerilee?” The two mares were addressing Cheerilee’s class (Notary no longer in her maid outfit). Notary had just told them she would be leaving on the next train west. “Miss Cheerilee and I are friends,” said Notary, enunciating each word carefully. “Very good friends. We are... we are not in love. But we still do care for each other, and that will not change, however far apart we are.” “Then why leave?” protested Apple Bloom. “Can’t you stay here?” Cheerilee and Notary looked at each other, and Notary bowed her head slightly. “In the first place, I have hurt ponies in this town. I am not proud of this, and I am sorry. But the fact remains. I do not deserve to remain here.” “But we’ll forgive you!” protested Sweetie Belle. “We won’t split you and Miss Cheerilee up over that!” “Second,” said Notary, “I have things I want to accomplish. I cannot accomplish them here. Your teacher, she has more talent than I. She can influence the world and improve it right here, in Ponyville, by teaching all of you. Me, I must go elsewhere to change the world for the better.” She nodded firmly. “But I will change it. I will improve it. And when I do... then I will be able to return here, and see you all again. Miss Cheerilee included.” “... so you’re going away to become worthy of Miss Cheerilee?” said Sweetie Belle, eyes shining. “That’s so romantic!” “It’s like a big heroic quest!” said Scootaloo. Notary smiled. “I am glad you all understand. We both appreciate the effort you put in towards effecting our reconciliation, and of course, I also understand how much of that is due to Miss Cheerilee’s diligent instruction. You are very lucky to have the teacher you do.” A few of the foals were sniffing back tears. "They're so lovely!" whispered Sweetie Belle. Notary bowed. “Thank you for the hospitality you have shown me. I do plan to return someday.” And she began to walk out the door. “BYE, MISS NOTARY!” The foals yelled. Cheerilee quickly stepped before the class. “Ah, one more thing, class,” she said. “Miss Notary is wrong.” Notary froze. So did the foals. “What she plans to do after leaving Ponyville is... noble. Valiant. A good and laudable deed, and I applaud her decision. But she has made one mistake,” said Cheerilee. “She said that she needs to leave Ponyville to matter. But she already matters.” Notary frowned. “Blackcherry--” “She matters not just because of our college adventures, or her... deeds subsequent to that. She matters, just as I matter, and you all matter, because we are all friends.” Cheerilee smiled slightly, but her tone was still serious. “What do friends do? They make each other feel happy, and stop each other from feeling sad. They laugh and cry together. They share, and they help, and they love. Without friendship, nothing else matters. Would any of us really want wealth, or fame, or power, without any friends to share it with? But with friendship, all else is possible. Only with friendship can a nation be built, or a city be saved, or any other great deed performed. Notary, your friendships, with me -- and with, perhaps, a few of the students -- have already mattered far more than you know.” (Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes. “This is so lame,” she muttered to Silver Spoon.” Scootaloo’s eyes were watering. “That’s so beautiful!” she whispered. Diamond Tiara blinked. “I agree!” she told Scootaloo. Silver Spoon put a hoof to her face.) Notary paused. “I don’t agree,” she said. “You define mattering differently than I do; I speak in a more... cosmic sense. But... but I think that, when I am away, I will find out. One way or the other. And I swear I will be back someday to tell you my answer.” Cheerilee walked over and embraced her. “I’ll be waiting,” she said. And she whispered in her ear, “Be careful, and stay safe. Don’t act as Greengrass would have you act, and don’t sell yourself short. You matter more than you understand. And remember... you are always welcome here. Even if Bitsberg doesn’t work out; even if it fails completely. You have a home here.” “I know,” replied Notary, eyes misting over. “You were a better friend than I deserved... I will do what I can to honor our friendship.” The two embraced for a few moments more. The class was openly crying by now, and Sweetie Belle kept repeating how beautiful it all was. Finally, Notary had to break the hug. “My train departs soon,” she said. “Thank you all, again. For everything.” “Ooh! Ooh!” said Snips. Cheerilee frowned. “Yes, Snips?” “Are you two still married?” The two looked at each other, and then both chuckled. Cheerilee said, “I don't know. But what does it matter? We’re friends. That’s what matters.” *** “GRADUATION!” screamed hundreds of ponies. Cheerilee grinned as she sniffed the air. She could already feel it. The release of tension, the dissipation of all that final exam stress. She could hardly wait to start hitting the bars and the clubs. But she had one errand first, and so she made her way to the train station. “Natalia!” she called, seeing her friend in line to buy tickets. Notary turned. “Blackcherry,” she said. “Congratulations. I heard you were in the top 1% of the class.” “You were there too,” said Cheerilee. “Do you have to go home right away?” “My father wants me to look into some jobs back in Moscolt.” Notary shrugged. “I would have liked to stay a little longer, but... well, does it matter? We can keep in touch wherever we are. We’re friends.” “Friends,” said Cheerilee, touching her hooves. And so they were. And that was what truly mattered. Author's Note It may be the case that the entire Scrolls subplot was an excuse to get her into Viking armor. :-) So Notary's off to Bitsberg! I have a feeling she'll do well there. And maybe we'll see her again. Heck, maybe I'll even write that story. 'The Comptroller of Bitsberg' could be fun. I did leave Notary in town for a few days in case anyone wants to write a story with someone else in Ponyville meeting her. Trixie's presumably occupied with finding the mayor, but if someone, I dunno, wants to have Scootaloo or Pokey or somepony bump into her, there's an opportunity.
RepastAs the Friendship Express pulled into the train station, most of its passengers were already picking up their luggage and moving to the train's doors. One, however, remained seated and motionless even as the train began to slow down. It wasn't that this pony was staying on the line past Ponyville; that town was indeed this pony's destination. Nor was this pony ambivalent about her trip -- in fact, this particular pony wanted to reach Ponyville more than any other on the train. It was, rather, a sort of weariness that stopped this pony from rushing to the doors so as to burst out of the train as soon as possible. The final step of a journey did not need to be taken with the same haste as all the rest. It's been a long road, the pony mused as the train slowed further. I've been all over Equestria. Rushia, South Everfree, Hyasanguia, Latigo, Palomino... and Canterlot of course. I've worked every kind of odd job there was, from clerk to journalist to spy. Even spent time in the Court. And now it's almost over. A long, slow breath hissed out of the pony's muzzle. One more job. Then I'm going home at last. The train was now crawling towards the platform. The pony finally rose, taking a single piece of luggage -- a plain, unassuming saddlebag -- while doing so. How many ponies have I worked for? But this time, it's just me. No employer, no ulterior motivation. Just righting a wrong. The train stopped at last, and the pony approached and exited through the nearest door, ignored by all the other passengers. Blackcherry Lee Punch, I will have my revenge, and nothing will stand in my way! I-- "HI!" The pony suddenly saw nothing but a large pink face that was smiling brilliantly. "You're the forty-fourth and one-fourth pony to come into Ponyville today! You win a fantastic PARTY!" The pony looked down, saw the platform, and then looked back into the... strange... pony who was smiling so brightly. "One fourth?" It was all the pony could think to say to that. "Yep! You're on the first train, and forty-three ponies got off before you! Plus that stallion!" She pointed to a stallion who was indeed about one-quarter of the way out of the train, apparently having gotten that far before deciding he needed something from the saddlebag he was rooting through. The crowd behind him began to grumble, to no avail. "So! You win a fabulous party! Let's go!" cheered the pony. "Right this way!" "But... but I have this revenge to--" "No time for chatter! Time for PARTY!" Pinkie began to drag the other pony away. "There'll be cake and pie and ice cream and sprinklers! Ooh, and streamers! Lots of streamers!" And the pony was helpless to resist. *** My little pony, My little pony Ahh ahh ahh ahhh... My little pony – Friendship never meant that much to me My little pony – But you're all here and now I can see Stormy weather; Lots to share A musical bond; With love and care Teaching laughter; It’s an easy feat, And magic makes it all complete! You have my little ponies – How’d I ever make so many true friends? *** "Uh oh," said Lyra. "Unhappy foals, three o'clock." Trixie looked up from her hot chocolate. After talking with Twilight, she had spent a few days designing a new spell that could have vast and wide-ranging applications (at least insofar as allowing ponies to sleep in for longer, which she wholeheartedly supported). Having finished, she was at Bonbon's for her celebratory hot chocolate, but even the tantalizing treat couldn't keep her from helping to keep Ponyville's youngest residents happy. After all, helping others was part of what friendship was all about! "Which ones?" she asked, turning to the window. "Looks like Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle," said Lyra. "Over there, by the town fountain." "No worries. I'm on it." "That's a reason to worry," joked Bonbon. Trixie stuck out her tongue, then trotted out of the door. The two foals were moving along in a dejected fashion. "I just don't know what to do!" squeaked Sweetie Belle. "Without her, nopony can answer our question!" "We'll think of something," said Scootaloo. "If we have to, I'll scoot over to Canterlot and find somepony there to answer it!" "You can't really scoot to Canterlot. It's up a mountain. Mountains aren't scootable!" Scootaloo grinned. "Wanna bet?" "Hi girls!" said Trixie, trotting up to them. "How are you doing?" "Not good, Dame Trixie," said Sweetie Belle. "We have a really big question we really need answered, but we don't know the answer! Or even how to find the answer! So we don't know what to do!" Trixie smiled. "Well," she said. "Maybe I could help you." The two foals looked at each other. "Hey, yeah!" said Scootaloo. "Sweetie Belle, I bet Trixie could help us!" Sweetie Belle began to bounce. "You're right! She's a knight, after all. She's got to be able to help!" "Of course I can help!" Trixie grinned. "So, what's your question?" "Where's Miss Cheerilee?" both foals asked at once. Trixie blinked. "That's your question?" "No," said Scootaloo. "We need to know where she is so we can ask her our question." "She's the smartest pony in Ponyville!" said Sweetie Belle. "Except for my sister--" "And Rainbow Dash!" "Right. But she's not at her house and we can't find her anywhere. But you can help us, right? You can find out where she is?" Trixie stared at them, feeling almost like she was deflating. "You know, um, maybe I could answer your question?" Both foals shook their heads. "It's really more of a Miss Cheerilee question," said Sweetie Belle. With a sigh, Trixie said, "I think she said she would be eating brunch at her sister's pop shop today." "Yay!" The foals began to run off. "Thanks, Dame Trixie! You're a big help!" Trixie watched them go, then returned to the candy shop. "Another hot chocolate," she told Bonbon. "And with extra bourbon." *** “It’s not true!” insisted Apple Bloom, shaking her head vehemently. “It can’t be true!” “Oh, but it is!” said Snips. “The Great and Powerful Snails... Snailsini confirms it!” “You can’t call him that,” said Featherweight. “Why not?” “Trixie trademarked it.” Snails frowned. “Then I’m the REALLY Great and Powerful Snailsini, and I confirm it!” Cheerilee trotted up to the scene, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle behind her. Over a dozen foals were gathered by the large apple tree near the school playground. Most were standing, but Snails -- wearing a large Saddle Arabian turban -- was sitting down, eyes closed and legs crossed. Two piles of apples lay near his hooves. He looked happy, but some of the other foals didn't."Good morning, class!" said Cheerilee. "What's going on?" “Miss Cheerilee!" said Apple Bloom. "Snails said that he can talk to bugs and worms and so he can tell us which apples have worms in them!” “I can!” Snails examined the first of two fresh apples that Tootsie Flute floated in front of him. “Mmm-hmm... mmm-hmm... okay, this one’s clear!” He looked at the other apple, his turban almost falling into his eyes. “Ah, this one’s got a big worm!” “Eeek!” said Twist, scampering to hide behind Cheerilee. “Is it a mean worm?” “No, but it’s a hungry one! It says that it’s going to eat the whole apple.” Snails nodded. “And it’s going to invite all its little wormy friends to eat apples too!” He waved his hooves. “The worms will break free from the earth, and will swarm over the town, eating all the apples! And then--” “No they won’t! Ma sister will keep ‘em away!” insisted Apple Bloom. “Sides, ya can’t figure out which apples have worms in them. Nopony can do that, not even ma sister, an’ she knows all there is ta know about apple de-wormin’!” She turned to Cheerilee. “Ain’t that right, Miss Cheerilee? It ain’t possible ta figure out which apples have worms in them by listenin’, is it?” Cheerilee walked into the center of the foals. She made a note of the ones that were there -- Apple Bloom and her friend Twist, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, Snips and Snails, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, Featherweight (now photographing Snails), Beebop (now banging two sticks together), and Alula. “Alright, class,” she said, merrily. “I think--” “Class?” interrupted Snips, a horrified expression crossing his face. “But it’s the weekend! We can’t have class! That’s not fair! It might even be illegal!” Cheerilee looked at him. “Well, maybe not illegal. But it’s still not fair! My head’s already full from the week!” He rapped on it a few times to demonstrate. “But Snips, every day is a great opportunity to learn something new!” said Cheerilee, face as smiley as her cutie mark. “Isn’t that right?” “Uh huh!” said Twist, from her vantage point of safety behind her teacher. “Now,” said Cheerilee, motioning the foals to close around the apple tree. “Snails has made a claim that he can detect which apples have worms in them. How do you think we could test this claim?” The foals paused. “You could just tell us if he’s right or not?” asked Scootaloo, a big smile on her face. “Ah, but then what would you do if I wasn’t around?” asked Cheerilee. “Don’t you want to be able to solve these kinds of problems yourself?” Scootaloo put a hoof to her chin and stroked it thoughtfully. “...I dunno. Would it help me go as fast as Rainbow Dash?" Cheerilee reflected that there was a time when that answer would have seemed odd, but she had worked with Ponyville foals for quite some time now. “No. But... it's good to have goals!” “We could cut open an apple and check?” asked Twist. “More than one,” said Featherweight. “In case he just gets really lucky with the first one!” “A very good idea!” said Cheerilee. “We can take a few apples, have Snails predict if they have worms, and then test them to see if they really do. If Snails is right, then maybe he really can detect apple worms. If not, then maybe he’s hearing something else--” “Like the voices in his head,” muttered Diamond Tiara. Cheerilee frowned at her. “Diamond Tiara, that’s not nice. Even if Snails is wrong, that doesn’t make him crazy or a bad pony. Everypony makes mistakes sometimes.” “Even you, Miss Cheerilee?” asked Dinky, who had only just arrived and had only heard her teacher’s last few words. Cheerilee paused, thinking back to her college days. *** “Alright!” screamed the host. “Now, Thirster has just set a new record for our little bar’s annual Cidermania challenge!” The crowed screamed and appluaded the brawny earth pony stallion, who was wobbling quite a bit as he staggered off the stage. “He managed to drink nine-tenths of a keg of our pure, grade-A, knock-you-on-your-flank cider!” “Thirster! Thirster! Thirster!” screamed the crowd. “Does anypony dare to take on his record? Does anypony dare to drink a full keg of cider!” “I DO!” The crowd gasped and turned to a magenta-coated pony with a frazzled pink mane and a dozen piercings in various places. Cheerilee grinned as she swaggered towards the stage. “Name’s Blackcherry Lee Punch, and I’ve never met a pony I couldn’t outdrink!” “Woah!” cried the host. “Quite a boast. Well, ma’am, you know the drill. If you win this challenge and beat all other contenders, you get a drink free every day this year! But if you lose, all you get’s a nasty hangover!” Cheerilee grinned. “I won’t lose.” She hopped up onto the stage. “Cider me!” “BLACKCHERRY!” screamed the bar patrons as the host began passing her mugs of cider, which she gulped down one after the other. “Is this it?” she asked. “Hah! This is weak stuff. I could probably drink TWO kegs!” The host grinned. “Oh yeah?” “Blackcherry! Blackcherry! Blackcherry!” shouted the crowd. “Yeah!” responded Cheerilee, wiping her mouth on the back of her leg. “Seriously? This stuff is weak. By tomorrow morning it won’t be affecting me at all.” *** As it turned out, that was not true. “My head hurts...” the magenta-coated pony groaned. In retrospect, she thought, maybe a full keg was a little much. Sure, it had been worth it -- she could get a free drink every night for a year, which would be a great pick-up line with the mares and stallions on the quad -- but it would be nice if the air stopped hitting her with magical invisible hammers. The door opened and a pony softly trotted into the room. “Here,” said a voice. A mug of something was shoved in front of her. Cheerilee gratefully drank the liquid, a sweet tea that mildly alleviated her nausea and hangover. “Thanks." “Mmm.” “I wasn’t interrupting your homework, was I?” “Yes, actually,” said Cheerilee’s roommate. She was a white-coated mare who smiled little, spoke less, and spent most of her time buried in books. She was so unobtrusive that Cheerilee sometimes forgot about her entirely, and she still wasn't quite sure of her name. “Won’t happen again," the magenta-coated pony managed. “You said that last time. Three days ago.” There was a pause. “And if I had a bit for every time you said that, I could fund this semester’s tuition. I counted.” “But... but they offered me free cider if I won!” protested Cheerilee. “I couldn’t resist that!” “Yes, because more cider is just what you need.” Cheerilee turned away, hoping her headache would subside. She still had an economics paper to finish, and a math test to study for, both would take at least a few hours, and botching either of those would imperil her ‘A’ average. Plus, she’d promised to help Hunky Hoof work on his history project too. “Well, this time I mean it. No more drinking entire kegs in one sitting.” And she would have kept that promise too, but not only did she get all her work done in record time, but the biggest bar in the neighborhood put out a notice that night offering a free set of frisbees to whoever could drink the most mugs of extra-concentrated cider. It wasn’t fair, thought Cheerilee, as she signed up. Sometimes the world was just too tempting. *** Cheerilee smiled. “Even me. But -- that’s a topic for another day. For now, class, let’s check these apples! And be polite to each other too, please.” Diamond Tiara nodded sullenly, and then the other foals were hurrying around the tree to evaluate Snails’ claim. “Go on, go on, make a few predictions!” said Sweetie Belle. Snails put his hooves to his turban, and his ears to some apples. “No worm, no worm, no worm, no worm,” he said, pointing to four in turn. “There are all totally safe!” He paused. “I have spoken!” Within moments, the apples were taken down and examined. Scootaloo and Beebop opened theirs up by stepping on them. Diamond Tiara opened her saddlebag and took out a shining silver hammer, set with several expensive-looking jewels, which she used to break hers open without getting even the slightest bit messy. Snips ate his. “No worm!” said Scootaloo and Beebop at the same time. “Hmph,” said Diamond Tiara, also failing to find a worm. Snips burped. “I didn’t taste a worm!” he announced. I might need to speak with his parents. Again. Cheerilee paused for a moment. “Alright, class. Does this seem like a good experiment to you?” “Yes! And it showed I’m right!” cheered Snails. “I really can predict worminess!” He grinned. “Maybe I can predict other things too. Maybe I’m a psychic!” “Wait!” said Apple Bloom. “Maybe none of the apples in this tree have worms. Maybe ya got lucky.” Cheerilee smiled. “Very good, Apple Bloom. When testing something like this, it’s important to account for which choice -- in this case, worm or no worm -- is more likely to begin with, or a priori. Do you know how many apples have worms, on average, Apple Bloom?” Apple Bloom scrunched up her face in thought. “Ma sis said about eight percent fer this kind of apple.” Her eyes widened. “That means anypony could just guess ‘no worms’ for all of ‘em an’ be right nine times in ten!” She turned back to Snails. “Predict some that have worms, or Ah won’t believe ya.” “Wait,” said Twist. “Maybe we should break the apples into two groups first and have him test them at random, instead of letting him pick the easiest ones.” “If he says he’s hearing them, I can get some of Vinyl’s mikes to see if there’s any sound!” yelled Beebop. “Maybe he’s cheating and using magic, not listening,” said Silver Spoon suddenly. “Snails, take your turban off!” “But without it I lose all my Great -- I mean, my Really Great and Powerful powers!” Cheerilee grinned as she watched her foals discussing scientific procedure and experimental setup. She had taught them the basic a few weeks ago, and it was wonderful to see them applying what she’d discussed. Her foals were growing and learning, and she had wonderful friends to share her achievements and classroom adventures with. Everything was going fine. “Alright, alright!” said Snails. “Please, give the Really Great and Extraordinary Snailsini some space!” “I thought you were Really Great and Powerful,” said Sweetie Belle. “I’m both,” said Snails. “I... I am the Really Great and Powerful and Really Great and Extraordinary Snailsini! And awesome. And...” He turned to Cheerilee. “Miss Cheerilee, what are some other really good adjectives?” Dinky giggled. “If you’re really great, then predict some apples! I wanna see! And if you’re good at it I can pick some apples I know are good for my Momma later.” Cheerilee sat back and watched as her students continued to work out the experiment. Yes, she thought. Life was good. *** Apple Bloom galloped towards the town square, a big smile on her face and a big wagon trailing behind her. It had been a wonderful day so far. Miss Cheerilee had helped her disprove Snails, and she’d even called her smart and talented! And Scootaloo had been making funny jokes, and Sweetie Belle had said they could all go get some ice cream and taffee later, and even Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were being nicer than usual. In fact, the day hadn’t just been wonderful... it had almost been perfect! But the one thing the day lacked, the one thing preventing it from being perfect, was a big glass of her sister’s super-sweet, super-sugary, super-duper-delicious apple juice. (Granted, cider might have been better, but then all the adults had gotten really silly for a few days from drinking too much cider, and she didn’t really want to drink it anymore). And that was why Apple Bloom was running towards the market. Because she was thirsty, and so were her friends, and Cheerilee had helped them figure out how much each pony would have to pay for a big jug of cider, so Apple Bloom had collected the money and race off to order a set of drinks from her sister. Hey, does this mean I’m helping sell apples and apple acc... access... accessthingies? Yay! I’m helping my sister! And I should check with Miss Cheerilee what that word is again. As she raced into the market, she had to dodge around the slower adults who weren’t as good at getting out of her way. Fortunately, as a pony foal, she was quite capable of going left, right, and under the adults who took forever to get anywhere. Just skid under Rarity’s legs (and ignore her complaints about ‘hooliganism,’ whatever that meant), dodge around the Flower sellers and old Mr. Waddle, use a conveniently-placed ramp to hop over Filthy Rich, and there it was! Faithfully attended to by her big sister and big brother, the Sweet Apple Acres farm stand stood bold and bright, the best place in town to get the most delicious (and nutritious!) food. In fact, they seemed to have a customer at that very moment! Apple Bloom skidded to a halt just before she would have plowed into the pony, a white-coated mare with an eggshell-colored mane and tail and a party hat on her head. She was speaking with her sister, who was smiling at her. Apple Bloom smiled too. Another soon-to-be satisfied customer! Yay! “...no, Ah have ta admit Ah ain’t ever tried a... what’d ya call it? Pickled apple?” Applejack looked at Big Macintosh, who seemed to be struggling to hide a grin. “What?” “Nothing,” said Big Macintosh. The mare put her saddlebag on the counter and opened it up. “They’re a Moscolt specialty. Would you like to try one?” Apple Bloom blinked. The mare talked funny. She rolled her ‘r’s’ a lot, like she couldn’t seem to get them out of her mouth, and her other tones were almost clipped. Maybe she’s foreign! Maybe my sister’s talking to a foreign princess or something! Applejack looked over. “Oh, mornin’, Apple Bloom! Ya havin’ fun with all yar friends?” “Ah’m havin’ a blast!” said Apple Bloom. “We’re learning all about the scientific method!” She grinned. “Maybe Ah’ll be a brilliant scientist one day! Ah’ll be like... like as smart as Twilight! But focused on apples.” Applejack grinned. “Ya’d be a great scientist. Natalia, this is ma little sister, Apple Bloom.” The mare turned. She was smiling politely -- but there was something about her eyes, Apple Bloom noted. Her eyes looked serious and focused, like Twilight when she was learning a new spell, or Truffle Shuffle when he found out that somepony had filched his cookie. Or Scootaloo, when she saw a wall that she hadn’t climbed yet. The mare bowed slightly. “A pleasure to meet you,” she said. “My name is Natalia Rye...” A string of syllables followed. There were a lot of r’s and z’s, and Apple Bloom was lost at about letter thirty. How can her name be that long? It wouldn’t fit on her birth certificate! And what about her tests in school? She wondered if maybe Natalia got extra paper to account for this difficulty. “Introduce yarself,” urged Applejack to Apple Bloom. “Oh! Uh, Ah’m Apple Bloom. Pleasure ta meet ya, Miss Rye... Ryeuh... Miss Natalia,” said Apple Bloom. The pony seemed amused. “I also go by Notary.” “Oh! Then Ah’m pleased ta meet ya, Notary.” Apple Bloom grinned. “Ya've got a party hat -- are ya partyin'?" The pony glanced around nervously, as if expecting some party pony to ambush her from behind a tree. "No." She removed the hat. "I only have a few hours in Ponyville and cannot spend them partying." Apple Bloom smiled as nicely as she could. "But ya have time fer apples, right? Want ta buy some? Best in Equestria!” “I have been to a lot of places in Equestria,” said Notary, smiling a little. “But, as I was just explaining to your sister, I brought my own for my trip. We eat apples differently in Moscolt.” “Well, maybe we can prepare ‘em special for ya!” said Apple Bloom. She looked at Applejack. “There’s never been an apple recipe ma big sister couldn’t cook!” “This recipe takes forty days to prepare,” said Notary. Apple Bloom’s eyes widened as she wondered what kind of magical, delicious apple recipe would take forty whole days. “Wow! That’s a... a real long time!” She began to count on her hooves. “That’s more than five weeks!” Notary chuckled. “I have more than I need. I could let you have some.” Apple Bloom turned to her sister. “Oh, can Ah try one? Please please please?” “Uh,” said Big Macintosh. “Ah dunno, Apple Bloom. Moscolt pickled apples are--” “Hey, if Ah’m gonna be a great apple scientist some day, Ah’ll have ta know all about them, right?” urged Apple Bloom. Big Macintosh smiled. “Point.” Notary took three apples out of her saddlebag and gave one to each member of the Apple family. Applejack gave her a few in return. “Could hardly sample yar wares without offerin’ some of mine.” “Wares?... oh. I’m not an apple salesmare.” She paused. “I’m actually between jobs at the moment.” “What brings ya ta town, then?” asked Apple Bloom, sniffing the apple. It had a strong, vinegar-y scent. “Just visiting an old friend.” “Sorry Ah couldn’t help ya find her,” said Applejack. “Ah know where her house is, but if she ain't there Ah don't know where she might be. Maybe her sister's?" "No, I was just there..." Apple Bloom bit into the pickled apple, and her eyes widened. It was sour. It was like... well, like somepony had crossed an apple with a pickle. Which made sense, when she thought about it. “How do ya make these?” Notary looked at her. “You take an apple, coat it with a few herbs and spices...” Applejack picked hers up and took a big bite. “And then soak it in a vinegar-tarragon mixture for forty days,” said Notary. “Oh.” Apple Bloom looked at the apple. The taste made sense then, she supposed. “Well, Ah -- hey, Big Mac, stop snickerin’. That ain’t nice.” Big Macintosh put a hoof over his mouth, though he was unable to hide his smile. He’d already finished his apple, it seemed. “Sorry.” “Anyway, Ah wonder if Miss Cheerilee’s tried them?” Apple Bloom wondered. “She’s been all over the world--” Notary started. “Did you say, ‘Cheerilee?’” Her accent sounded a little more pronounced, like her control of her voice had slipped for a moment. “Yeah! She’s ma teacher, an’ she’s the best there is. She’s in the park.” Her eyes widened. “Oh! Ah bet she’s the old friend ya wanted ta see! Ah can take ya right to her! Ah bet she’d be thrilled ta see ya!” Notary bowed. “Thank you.” Apple Bloom quickly put the bits in the till and took a jug of apple juice, then began to hurry away with a big smile on her face-- she was going to reunite her teacher with a friend! It was going to be wonderful! “Just follow me!” she called as she ran. Behind her, she heard Notary rushing to keep pace. Big Macintosh smiled as they ran off, and then turned to Applejack. “Think we should pickle apples?” Applejack was standing still, almost frozen. Her jaw was locked with a bulge in it. Her face looked pained. “Uh, Applejack?” “Worst... apple... ever...” Applejack spat her bite out. "Who would put vinegar on a perfectly good apple?" "Who indeed?" The two were silent for a moment, and then Big Macintosh looked at his sister. "AJ?" "Yes?" "Ah can finish yours, right?" *** Notary’s face was calm and implacable as she hurried alongside Apple Bloom. She did not show any extreme emotion; she stayed calm, rather, and blended in as she always did. But on the inside, there was a fierce determination burning within her. I am wrapping up this loose end, she thought. It finishes today. Cheerilee... I’m coming for you. Her eyes narrowed slightly. That which you did to me so many years ago... at last, I will make it right. And I-- “So!” said Apple Bloom, gesturing with a hoof towards the park. “What did ya want ta see Miss Cheerilee for? Have ya seen her in a while?” “No.” “So it’s a long-time reunion?” “...yes.” “Awesome! Miss Cheerilee told ma once that seein’ an old friend makes for some of the best memories ever!” “Yes,” repeated Notary. “Yes, this is going to be... memorable. And nothing will stop me from seeing her." "Nothing?" "Nothing." "What if zombies attack?" Notary blinked. "...what?" Apple Bloom stopped running, apparently lost in thought. "Or what about timberwolves? Or what if Philomena comes back?" "If we could keep going--" But the foal's mind seemed to have switched tracks. "Hey, what if zombie Philomena came back? Would ya still see her? Or pirates! What if we got attacked by pirates?!" Apple Bloom's mouth dropped. "Or zombie pirates?" Notary blinked. This may be... harder than I thought. Author's Note I'm sure Pinkie won't mind a pony running out on her party at all. We'll find out what actually happened next chapter. But I think it's a safe bet to assume a lot of cider was involved. It's fun writing a silly story. Prepare for hijinks!
