Pixelmix's Big Freaking Cameo Party
A white-furred pegasus named Pixelmix sat on his couch.
Why isn't anypony here yet? He thought. I said that the party started at 6:00. It must be, like, 6:45 now.
He checked the digital clock on the wall of his house. 7:15. Great.
Pixelmix sagged down in his chair and moaned angrily, running his hoof through his navy blue mane . He had invited half of Ponyville to his party, and not a single pony had bothered to show up. He wasn't sure if that meant that nopony could find the time to attend, or if nopony gave two shits about attending in the first place.
Actually, the problem was simply that Derpy spilled all his invitations out of her backpack as she chased "Mister Chipmunk" up a back road, but Pixelmix didn't know that.
Pixelmix was just getting used to the Ponyville life. He was a city pony by nature, having lived in Clopston for the first eighteen years of his life. When he grew old enough to live on his own, his parents had recommended that his first home be a house in Ponyville. Even though Pixelmix was reluctant to abandon the lively city life for the laid-back, small-town Ponyville life, he agreed. Since he had arrived from Clopston a few months ago, he had always been puzzled by how the town's citizens managed to keep chugging along in a town with such a relaxed lifestyle. Maybe it was because interacting so often helped them get to know each other a lot more deeply. No one did that in the city.
He had already applied for college, specifically a music school: The Keynote School For Gifted Musical Artists. Pixelmix had been quite skilled in the trade of mixing music for much of his life, and one day hoped to be mentioned in the same breath as Vinyl Scratch (or DJ PON-3, as she is more commonly known). He already sold his CDs in the Ponyville music store, The New Beat, and they fetched him a lot of bits.
He looked tiredly around his house. The building itself wasn't much, really, as he had never really been into huge homes. Just the average interior of a two-story pony household: wooden floors, wooden walls, wooden ceiling. Wooden furniture, wooden door. The upstairs was pretty much the same. The only thing keeping the house from being a monotone brown was the colors-Pixelmix had the house's interior walls painted a barn-red tone, and had some more windows inserted in the wall near the door. Since he did well financially, he was also able to furnish the simple house with all the latest tech: A TV, a Fillienware gaming computer, a telephone, the whole nine yards.
That computer cost me 2000 bits, he mused. Worth every coin.
Pixelmix also noted, with exasperation, the party supplies and snacks he had set out.
A total waste, he thought. No one's coming to this party.
It really would have been a great party, unfortunately. Pixelmix had set out snacks and beers, even going so far as to break out his family recipe for what most house guests described as "the greatest honey chicken wings on this side of Equestria". He had also set up his turntables at his computer, hoping to get the party turned up with some Zombcolt and doubtlessly some of DJ PON-3's newer tracks. A party like that could give Pinkie a run for her money any day.
Alas, it was all for naught, as Princess Luna would say, he thought to himself. There was really no point in resending the invitations at this point, since they would take so long to re-create. Most ponies didn't use email, for some reason. Probably because most ponies didn't have the advantage of magic to press the keys. Pixelmix found truth in this; he had a hard time getting used to hoof-typing himself.
"Man, this sucks." he muttered angrily. "I go to all this trouble to set up an epic party, and everyone blows me off. That's bullshit." he sat up, getting ready to stand up and trot over to his computer. Might as well work on the new EP if there was nothing else to do. Maybe play some Call of Cutie: Oats if he got a lot done.
Then maybe I can have some of those chicken wings, he thought, mouth watering. Hey, somepony had to eat them.
He got up and was about to begin the trot to his computer room when an idea struck him. He couldn't resend the party invitations, but he knew a certain being who could find a way to get the party going, despite the lack of attendants.
The only problem was, this particular being was not exactly consistent in his favors, and getting him to meddle in his affairs could cause trouble.
Pixelmix shrugged. My day is really gonna suck if I don't do this. I will definitely regret it if I don't. Actually, come to think of it, I'll probably regret it either way...
He glanced back at the snack table.
Celestia damn, I swear I will not let that chicken go to waste.
Pixelmix reached for his coffee table. Brushing aside an issue of Game Pegasus magazine, he picked up his smartphone and used his snout to select the voice-control program known as Inu.
"What can I help you with?" chirped the A.I. program.
"Inu, call Discord."
"Calling Discord..."
<><><><><><><><
Discord sat in his room.
To be truthful, calling it a room was a bit of a stretch. It was really just a hollow sphere of floating debris, composed of the stone, wood and gravel of the original room Celestia gave him when he went legitimate. Desks, tables and chairs flew around at constantly changing speeds. Metal file cabinets floated with their drawers open, their parchment-stocked contents spilling out into the open air. A desk lamp spun over Discord's head like the blades of a helicopter, the light strobing on and off rapidly. His bed was pinned to what would have been the ceiling, constantly shaping and reshaping its frame to fit the current shape of the room. The only thing about this room that seemed relatively normal was a red swivel chair, hovering in midair, that seated the god of chaos himself, Discord. His hands, eagle claw and lion paw, rested on the chair's arms. His goat-like face bore a satisfied smirk, his canine tooth hanging out of his long muzzle.
Discord loved it here. It was the perfect home. Everything about it was pliable, allowing him to create the perfect chaotic mess. Wonderful. Celestia was a very thoughtful mare.
Discord had moved into the Canterlot Royal Castle after his time with Fluttershy, much to the annoyance of its residents and the guards. Life with Discord as a tenant had proved to be a significant challenge. Even if he really was doing nothing obnoxious except making things float around and sometimes pulling the occasional prank, such as turning the castle's entire wine supply into tapioca pudding for 24 hours, his smug-yet-chipper demeanor alone was enough to drive most ponies crazy.
Princess Celestia had given him a room in one of the castle's towers to dwell in when he wasn't annoying the hay out of everypony with his presence, making him promise to ease up on his antics before she gave him the keys. Discord reluctantly agreed, and took up residence in the stony room. It had immediately been dissatisfactory for the god of chaos.
So...orderly, he had thought. How distasteful. Those ponies wouldn't know a good room if it walked up to them and slapped them in the muzzle.
Hey, that's a good idea. Maybe I should have a good room slap one of them in the muzzle sometime, he thought cheerfully. That would be delightfully entertaining.
With a snap of his clawed fingers, Discord had transformed the room into a chaotic storm of huge flying stone shards, lifting all the room's cabinets, tables, and chairs and throwing them into the maelstrom.
Ah, much better, he had thought. No room is complete without a little chaos.
And so this room had become Discord's home. He had spent many long hours surrounded by the floating rocks. Sometimes they moved fast, sometimes slow. Consistency wasn't his thing.
The room couldn't be accessed from the outside, or at least nopony wanted to try. The bubble of rock shards floated about seven meters from the doorway, suspended in midair. Trying to jump and grab a rock would never be completed successfully, and missing would mean falling to a certain death if you didn't have wings. The one time a nosy pegasus guard had tried to enter the mass of stones, they simply locked up with each other, refusing to move. The other guards had had an interesting challenge trying to move the guard, whose mane had caught in a seam in the rock.
Right now, Discord was enjoying himself in a simple way. Just sitting in his hovering chair, thinking about chaos. He liked doing this. It helped him get away from the orderly life that Celestia presented for him. One of the things he liked best about his room was that, since it was his domain, anything could happen. This was one reason he preferred to be in his room instead of outside: he could cause things to happen to himself and other objects that couldn't happen outside of his room.
Suddenly, Discord's lizard-like stomach rang. His large eyes snapped open and his white, bushy eyebrows skyrocketed. Quite literally. Once he had gotten a hold of them, he placed them back on his forehead and looked down at his ringing stomach.
Funny, he thought. It hasn't done that in a few days.
Opening a hatch on his stomach, he fumbled around inside of himself in an effort to find the source of the ringing. He finally pulled out a small metal safe with a combination lock. Satisfied with his find, he shut the hatch and looked at the safe. The ringing continued.
"Hmmm..." muttered Discord, squinting at the safe. "Now, how am I going to get you open...?"
"I dunno." replied the safe.
Discord's eyes lit up. He pulled a chain on his ear to douse the light, and pulled a butter knife out of a passing drawer. He steadied his aim, and with one quick chop, cut through the safe. Tossing the knife aside, he took apart the two halves of the safe and grabbed the contents.
A small golden bell shook in his paw. He growled and tossed it into a cabinet.
"You ate my favorite bell again, safe? My goodness. You never learn." Discord sighed.
"Sorry." replied both halves of the safe.
Discord's ear produced a ringing noise. He perked up .
"Oh, that's my cell phone!" he said, reaching into his ear and pulling out a sleek black smartphone. Tapping the "answer call" button, he brought the phone to his ear.
"N'yello. Discord, God of Chaos, speaking." He said in a tone that was too calm for the sentence it was carrying. After a few seconds, he said with glee, "Oh, gee, Pixelmix! It's so great to hear from you! How's the-". He never finished the sentence, though. A look of sadness passed over his face. After about half a minute, he spoke.
"No one came to your party? Unbelievable. What ridiculous behavior, blowing you off like that." Another moment of silence passed in Discord's room. "You need my help? What could I possibly do?" This was a dumb and sarcastic question, as Discord was a god and could do pretty much anything. He was just playing along with Pixelmix's frustrations.
Another pause.
"Hmmm...not a bad idea, Pixelmix. A bit drastic, but it sounds like it would work. I'll be right over." Discord hung up and tossed the phone over his shoulder, where it promptly exploded. He turned to the sliced-up safe.
"I have business to attend to with a friend. Can I trust you to be home alone for a while?"
The pieces of the safe shrugged seperately. "Ok."
"Great." Discord snapped his fingers and was gone in a puff of smoke, leaving the safe drifting in the zero-gravity stone storm.
<><><><><><><><
"It really is a good idea."
Pixelmix and Discord now sat together on the couch. Discord had a can of soda in his paw, and his other hand, or claw, was curled into a fist and nestled under his chin in relaxed interest. His lengthy dragon tail didn't fit on the couch, and was wrapped around it like a long, red python. Pixelmix sat hunched over, with his chin resting on his hooves and his bangs in his eyes.
Pixelmix replied to Discord's comment. "Yeah, I know. You think you can actually do it? It sounds pretty outlandish."
Discord nodded. "Of course I can. Taking ponies from other dimensions and bringing them to ours is as easy as doing a 3x3 Sudoku puzzle."
Pixelmix smirked a little when he heard his idea coming from someone else.
It sounds so ridiculous, yet Discord makes it sound so plausible, he thought. Well, anything to get the party started, right?
"I just need to make a portal." continued Discord.
"A portal?" Pixelmix repeated half-mindedly.
Discord nodded and took a sip of his soda before continuing. "That will be the area where we create a dimensional rift. It might take a wee bit of time to prepare, but it'll be worth it. There is one potential issue, however."
"What's that?" Pixelmix said, concern slipping into his voice. Usually when Discord was involved, an "issue" was akin in severity to having an active, tar-covered grenade in your mouth.
"Once we create the portal"-Discord paused for another sip-"it will...well, I usually have trouble explaining the full version of this to ponies like yourself, so I'll try to keep it simple. When creating the portal, we essentially have to...tell it what to do. Give it its function, if you will." He checked on Pixelmix to see if he understood. He nodded.
Discord took a sip. "I usually do this with runic symbols. Once the portal's function is fleshed out for it, it will then begin its cycle."
Pixelmix sat up. "Cycle?" he asked.
Discord pointed a claw at Pixelmix. "That's the problem. I can only create a portal that operates on a randomly-opening cycle."
"Explain." Pixelmix said.
"Well, normally, I could create a rift that could be opened and closed at a whim." said Discord. "But I'm still not at the peak of my magical power. 1000 years bound in stone really robs you of your energy, both physically and magically speaking. If we create a rift now, I won't be able to predict or control when it opens or closes, see? So, if we decide to go through with this, I won't be able to erase the portal from existence until I'm back at full power."
Pixelmix gulped. A portal that couldn't be controlled? And with Discord at the helm, it sounded like nothing short of a recipe for disaster.
But then he thought about what he would do if he nixed Discord's suggestion. Just go back to the boring, vanilla Ponyville life? Doing nothing but sitting on his rump and editing music all day? It didn't sound like an appealing future, even if he had the option of playing video games. He wanted to do something fun, something different. Something that would get him noticed. Wasn't that why he hosted the party? Was he really going to let such a great time slip through his grasp?
And the idea of taking ponies from alternate universes only made it seem more exciting. Who knows what crazy adventures awaited him if he decided to give the go-ahead to Discord? Hell, maybe it would even go beyond a party. Nopony ever said it had to be just one night.
"Sooooo? What will it be?" chirped Discord, bringing Pixelmix back to reality.
Pixelmix got back up on four hooves. He had made up his mind.
He looked at Discord, eyes gleaming.
"Let's do it."
Discord's eyes gleamed. "That's what I like to hear. Meet me upstairs in your room."
The chaos god snapped his clawed fingers and vanished.
Pixelmix rubbed a hoof behind his head. He was definitely going to regret this.
Before he trotted upstairs, Pixelmix took one last look at the snack table.
I guess I won't be eating that chicken after all.
<><><><><><><><
Pixelmix gaped at the elaborate runic spiral Discord had drawn on his bedroom floor in ketchup.
"Ummm, Discord?" he asked.
"Yes, Pixie?" Discord replied, fluttering his eyelids in mock affection.
Pixelmix grunted. "One, don't call me Pixie. Two, why ketchup?"
Discord shrugged. "Hey, you try getting your hooves on five hundred pounds' worth of super-condensed
chimera blood at a moment's notice. Ketchup is a best substitute."
In truth, Discord could have used anything to make the circle. He just thought it would be funny to see Pixelmix clean it up later.
Pixelmix sighed. "Ok, fine. Let's just get the rift active."
"Certainly." Discord produced another bottle of ketchup from nowhere in particular and squirted the contents in specific patterns on the circle, creating strange symbols and pictures with the red paste.
"I've created the route. Now ponies from all kinds of alternate universes will be drawn here." said Discord. "Now I'm going to have to ask you to step back, unless you want your brains fried by interdimensional energies."
Pixelmix nervously did as he was told.
Discord reached his mismatched hands over the intricately drawn runic circle. Pixelmix saw his eyes begin to glow a gently pulsating magenta, and for some reason, the sight sent shivers down his spine.
Discord began to mutter unintelligibly in some ancient, forgotten tongue. His voice was now layered with strange and unnerving tones. Some were deep, some were high and metallic. A cold wave passed through the room and Pixelmix realized that he was shivering.
Whatever Discord was doing, it was working. The ketchup rune circle was glowing the same magenta as his eyes and it crackled with otherworldly energy. A buzzing noise was audible over Discord's creepy tones.
Suddenly, a sharp snapping noise cut through the air. Every single molecule in the room seemed to drop below freezing for a nanosecond. Still, in that instant, the hair on the back of Pixelmix's neck burned. A bolt of magenta lightning burned itself into his retinas as it struck the runic circle.
And that was when a hammer-force wave of energy hit Pixelmix like a thousand boulders, and everything went black.
Author's Note
Well, there you go! What third pony will be with them when Pixelmix awakens? You decide! Submit your suggestion in the comments. If you want to vote, remember to like only one suggestion, your favorite. This way, I can get an accurate idea of who likes what and who should be in the chapter. Hope you enjoyed! More chapters to follow (duh).
~Pixelmix