A Uncontrollable Hurricane-A new life
Behind the mask
Previous ChapterAn uncontrollable Hurricane- A new life
Chapter 5
Behind the mask
“Excuse me?” Fluttershy turned to see a nurse behind her, probably curious as to why she was hovering outside a door. “Can I help you?” Fluttershy said nothing, but looking back into the room, to her horror, Rainbow had noticed her.
“Um, no I was just.” Fluttershy stood there trying to gather her thoughts as every part of her body screamed at her to run. The nurse sighed in frustration
“This patient is going into surgery soon, and it’s clearly posted that visiting hours at this point are for family only. I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” The Nurse pointed Toward the door waiting for her to move, that is until Rainbow Dash came up behind her- wrapping her hoof around Fluttershy’s shoulder.
“Make a scene and you’ll wish you’d never been born.” Hissed Rainbow Dash in her ear before looking up at the nurse and smiling. “It’s okay Pink heart, she’s with me I told her to come.” Rainbow then led Fluttershy back into the room- slamming the sliding glass door in Pink heart’s face.
“Enjoying the show are we?” Rainbow hissed venomously.
“No, I ju...”
“Shut the fuck up, I can’t believe this... How’d you even find this place? I made it quite clear to the hospital staff they weren’t to call me unless it was an emergency, and to talk to no one about this!” Rainbow was obviously livid; Fluttershy backed away from her as much as possible, but in the small hospital room it didn’t equate to much.
“So what’s going through that little mind of your now huh?” Rainbow laughed bitterly, a hollow empty laugh that held no mirth. “Going to get back at me for how I treated you- tell everypony how the baddest pegasus at UC it’s a big fat Fillyfooler?” Tears fell from Rainbow Dash face as she turned back to the bed that held the young comatose Cloudchaser and waited for Fluttershy’s response.
“ You really don’t understand the first thing about me do you, Rainbow Dash. I’m not that kind of mare.” Fluttershy sighed and slowly pulled one of the chair lined along to wall to set next to Rainbow Dash at the bedside.
“I don’t need or want your pity, if you going to do that you can just.”
“I’m not leaving Rainbow.” Said Fluttershy firmly, “How can I leave you like this,at a time like this.” Rainbow said nothing- too stressed to argue back.
“Who is she?” Asked Fluttershy as she look down at the young storm blue Pegasus with the spiky blue and cloud white hair.
“She’s.... An old friend; she was friends with Neon and A.J too.” Explained Rainbow lightly brushing her hoof through her mane, Fluttershy put her hoof on Rainbow’s shoulder.
“I get it, she was your marefriend, wasn’t she?” Rainbow took a deep breath and simply nodded her head, and Fluttershy knew that it had been the first time the cyan Pegasus had admitted it. Homophobic to the core, even when she is one.
“What the fuck is wrong with me!?!” Screamed Rainbow Dash slamming her face into her hoofs as she started sobbing openly. “Something happened to me, something bad, so I left Equestria- returned north to my home country, I couldn’t face my friends, least of all the mare I loved after that happened.
Well of course they got worried for me and started a search for me and during one of them Cloud got separated from Neon and A.J and ran into a group of Stallions, drunk I’d imagine. Well as you can see Cloudchaser is a very good looking Mare and so they started hitting on her, well while they struggled a picture of us fell out of her saddlebag when it fell off of her when they pushed her, and they seen she was a Fillyfooler, so they decide they’d teach her a lesson for being who she is and they beat her until she passed out... It’s all my fault, if only I was there. I could have saved her, should have saved her.” Dash’s voice began to give out for full out sobs.
“They made her like this Fluttershy, but she had a weak heart before that attack anyway and during she must of had, they say that the surgery today it the one hope for surviving she has, but it could kill her.” Fluttershy’s heart ached as she watched the tears flow down Dash’s face, she didn’t know what to say, but she knew that she had to say do anything to make Rainbow Dash feel better.
Hesitantly Fluttershy slipped her hoof onto Rainbow’s, and the younger mare looked at her
.
“I’m here…whatever happens, I’m right here…” Rainbow nodded, and the first, untainted smile shone at Fluttershy through the tears, and it made her heart feel a little lighter.
“I know…thank you…I just…” Fluttershy’s eyes widened as everything that she had known Rainbow Dash to be, crumbled before her very eyes, suddenly she wasn’t the tough-skinned, cold mare she’d made herself out to be, right now she seemed nothing more than a scared filly. “If she dies I don’t know what I’ll do…” Fluttershy got over the initial shock of Rainbow’s sudden weakness, rubbing her back softly.
“It’s okay, everything’s-”
“-I’m scared, Fluttershy…it feels like I’m slipping into some abyss, faster and faster, and I can’t see the bottom…I’m so lost…”
Fluttershy smiled, lifting the mare’s chin, dominant for once in her life and wiped Rainbow’s tears away, planting a soft kiss on the younger mare’s lips.
“What’re you doing?” asked Rainbow, as they broke apart for the necessity of air.”
Fluttershy smiled. “You won’t get hurt, okay?” Rainbow blushed slightly at the words, “I won’t let you fall…” Fluttershy flushed as Rainbow Dash pulled her back into a kiss that made butterflies flutter in her stomach. Is this love? Like my mother was talking about, a love that defies all laws of reason…that lifts you up so high…or maybe this is giving comfort to someone I care about…how am I supposed to know the difference between friendship, and love…?
“Miss Dash, It’s time.” Said one of the nurse’s pulling the two mares out of the daze.
“Okay.” Said Rainbow wishing she felt as strong as she sounded as the two Pegasi moved away from Cloudchaser’s bed and the nurse’s wheeled it away towards the Operating room.
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Rainbow Dash wandered back out of the insane thunderstorm of thoughts she had been in for the last couple of hours, the quiet seemed to come as she looked down, seeing what had started her from her pensiveness- Fluttershy had dozed off, and was resting on her shoulder. Rainbow watched her as she twitched slightly, and Rainbow sighed, throwing one of the hospital’s spare blankets over her, before falling back into thoughtfulness. Why did I kiss her back? I can’t, I don’t love her. How could I? Cloudchaser is lying in there, she might be – No, don’t think that…but, I’m betraying her, just by thinking these things about Fluttershy, aren’t I? I’ve kissed her now and –
Rainbow leapt up as the doctor came through the doors, startling Fluttershy from her doze, whom, when she realised what was happening, stood up as well.
“Ms Dash?” asked the doctor, and Rainbow nodded slowly, taking deep breaths.
“Is…is she okay?” asked Rainbow, partially not wanting to know. If Cloudchaser wasn’t okay, this ignorance was bliss, and she could at this moment at least still have hope that she was alive, but once the words were said, there was no taking them back again. “Is Cloudchaser going to be alright?” Rainbow repeated. The doctor looked at both the mares before replying.
“Cloudchaser’s condition,” the stallion said heavily, “was worse than we’d first thought.” Rainbow said nothing, and Fluttershy suddenly felt awkward for being here, as if she were intruding on Rainbow’s grief, I shouldn’t be here, she thought as the doctor took in a deep breath, it should be Neon, or A.J, or someone that knows Rainbow, someone that she cares about…not me…
“Her heart was too weak to withstand the surgery…” Rainbow looked at the stallion with fear mingled with something Fluttershy couldn’t put his finger on in those magenta orbs.
“She’s…dead?” asked Rainbow huskily. The doctor shook his head, and both Rainbow and Fluttershy’s hearts lifted for a moment, only to have themselves crushed moments after.
“Not yet…but, it won’t be long now…if you…want to say your goodbyes, now would be the time…” Rainbow looked down for a moment, lingering deep in misery as well as thought. The doctor placed his hands on the mare’s shoulders, and Rainbow looked up at him. “But, the good news, or bad news, which ever way you take it, is that, she is awake.”
Rainbow’s eyes widened and she swallowed hard as the doctor lead both her and Fluttershy through to a different room.
"But, why would her being awake possibly be bad news?" asked Fluttershy quietly as the doctor left them at the door. Rainbow didn't look at her as she replied.
"If she's awake...she'll be aware of the pain..."
"Oh..." muttered Fluttershy, feeling stupid and insensitive. Rainbow stopped at the door, not advancing any further, and Flutter looked at her in confusion.
“Rainbow, what’s wrong?” she asked. Rainbow bit her lower lip slightly.
“I - I don’t know what to say to her…how can I speak to her now…I’ll fall apart…”
“Rainbow-”
“-I can’t Fluttershy, I just-”
“-Listen to me!” she ordered, grabbing the taller mare by the shoulders. “The pony you love is going to die, and if you don’t go and say goodbye there isn’t a day that will go by that you won’t wish that you would have taken the chance to tell her you love her one last time…This is that chance, Rainbow,” the rainbow maned mare looked at her for a moment, as if seeing her in a new light. She wasn’t some shy, whiny brat anymore; she seemed so much more older, and so different. “And if you throw that chance away now, you’ll never forgive yourself…” Rainbow nodded.
“You’re right, of course you’re right…thanks…” inhaling deeply, the mare walked forwards, and stood at the side of the bed, Fluttershy still hovering in the doorway, unseen by the hospitalized mare as she opened her eyes and turned her head as Rainbow stroked the bangs off her sweat-covered forehead.
“Rainbow?”
“Yeah, who else would it be?” replied the older mare, her voice a lot stronger than before.
“You’ve come to see me nearly everyday…they told me so…” Rainbow smiled slightly looking down as the smaller mare’s hoof slipped into her’s. “I could hear your voice…” Rainbow smiled again.
“Really? You poor thing.” The small mare smiled, and Fluttershy felt a small ping in her heart as she watched this scene. This is awful, how can this be right? The way it was described …love isn't supposed to be like this - is it? What can be so good about this feeling if it tears ponies apart like this?
“You are doing well, in the sky?” Rainbow nodded, her eyes turning glassy.
“I chucked Thunderlane though - stuffy prick,” she joked, and that same bright smile returned to the sick mare’s face.
“A.J and Neon miss you,” said Rainbow, and Cloudchaser nodded, “A.J’s still bullying that loon Pinkie into bed with her, and Neon’s sleeping with all sorts of ponies.”
“Heh, Neon what are we going to do with you,” she replied, and Rainbow smiled, following the path of Cloudchaser’s eyes as she looked towards the door. “And you…are you Fluttershy?”
Fluttershy’s eyes widened, obviously her part was one of the occasions Cloudchaser had actually heard Rainbow speak.
“Umm, yeah,” said Fluttershy nervously, stepping closer as Rainbow signaled her to do so, the pink-maned mare looking awkward, staring at the floor.
“She’s a beauty Rainbow, no wonder you kissed her,” she said. Both Rainbow and Fluttershy looked at the mare in confusion and slight fear, how can she say something like that? Fluttershy’s thoughts practically screamed, she’s Rainbow’s marefriend and she’s egging her on while she comes onto me!
“Cloudchaser, I-”
“-Wait Rainbow, there’s…not a lot of time left so…”
“Cloudchaser?” she asked as the mare’s voice seemed to falter.
“It wasn’t your fault, Rainbow-”
“-How can you say that, this happened because-” a soft squeeze of her hoof silence her.
“Don’t spend the rest of your life blaming yourself and distancing yourself from the people that care about you…” Rainbow said nothing. “Promise me, you’ll look after Neon, and A.J, and don’t let anything get in the way of your friendship anymore?” Rainbow nodded slightly, not being able to force up words. “Your next performance is coming up soon, isn’t it?” Rainbow nodded. “You’ll do your best right, for me?” Rainbow nodded, biting back tears. “And you’ll be happy?” Rainbow took a moment, before nodding again in reply. "Promise?"
"I promise..." Rainbow choked.
Slowly, Cloudchaser turned to look at Fluttershy, who was still standing at the end of the bed. “You’ll take care of Rainbow, won’t you?” Fluttershy looked a little taken aback, but smiled and nodded all the same, she found it odd how both she and Rainbow seemed incapable of speech.
“You’re a good person…I know you won’t break her heart…” Rainbow looked at Cloudchaser, almost angry.
“Cloudchaser-”
“-Rainbow…I…never stopped…loving you, you know that…right?” Rainbow looked down at her, placing a soft kiss on his lips.
Fluttershy jumped as somepony pushed past her into the room, and Rainbow broke away from Cloudchaser as three people, (obviously her parents and twin sister) made their way to her side. Fluttershy watched as the frantic ponies fussed around the mare, and Rainbow walked slowly out of the room - the pink-maned mare took that as her cue to leave.
“Rainbow! Rainbow, wait!” called Fluttershy as Rainbow continued to walk along the pavement. Fluttershy caught up to her, slightly out of breath. “Rainbow, wait! Why did you just leave like that?”
“I’ve done all that I can, she has to be with her family now…” muttered Rainbow distantly, clearly still in a world of her own.
“Why didn’t you stop to talk to them, they might have wanted to speak to you?” Rainbow stopped snapping out of his pensive state.
“Oh, yeah, that would have gone down well. On Cloudchaser’s deathbed - ‘by the way did you know your daughter was a fillyfooler, no?! Well I’m her fucking gay lover, nice to meet you!’” As the Rainbow-maned mare continued to walk, Fluttershy fought to keep the pace with her, but it seemed Rainbow was determined to make it hard for her. Maybe Fluttershy should leave her alone, to sort herself out for a little while, that’s what she’d need, but she knew Rainbow wasn’t stable enough to be trusted on her own - she’d go and do something stupid, I know she would…
“I’m sorry, I know I’m crowding you,” said Fluttershy as she followed Rainbow into their dorm room a few minutes later, closing the door behind her. “But believe it or not I care about you, and I can’t leave you alone when I know you’re bound to do something stupid.” Rainbow sat on the edge of her bed, head in her hoofs.
“Get away from me…you meddling bitch can’t you see this is nothing to do with you…?”
“I know it hasn’t, but if you push the people who are involved away that care, I’m all that’s left.” No reply, she didn’t even look up at her when she spoke. “Rainbow, please,” she said softly, kneeling down in front of her and patting her knee softly, “just-”
“-Get off me!” Rainbow shouted, smacking Fluttershy across the face and sending her slamming into the floor. “Don’t touch me you fucking queer prick!” Fluttershy flinched as she sat up; holding her face, blood trickling out of her mouth. “Stop hovering round me wearing that look and touching me all the fucking time! Wake up, Princess; I’m not fucking into you! Why would I want to touch you? You whining, interfering bitch, just keep the fuck away from me!”
Fluttershy’s eyes glistened with the fresh tears, hurt in those aqua eyes as she looked up at Rainbow, who seemed to calm down. “Fluttershy, I’m sorry, I-”
“-Get away from me,” the smaller mare warned, getting unstably to her feet. The pink-maned mare looked at her furiously, wiping the blood from her mouth.
“Fluttershy, I-”
“-Save it, I’m tired of you, all I try to do is help you and what do I get for it- punched in the face, just stay away from me you locked in the closet bitch!” Fluttershy hissed, getting into bed and turning her lamp off. Rainbow watched the back of her as she tried to go to sleep herself, finding it impossible. I’ve done it now, she thought as she heard quiet sobs come from Fluttershy’s bed, she’s never going to speak to me again…
Within the hour Fluttershy’s sobs had slowly turned into deep breathing, signalling that she’d fallen asleep, Rainbow however was not so lucky. Thoughts were jumbled in her head, colliding with each other, making it impossible to calm her mind and go to sleep. Thoughts of Cloudchaser, thoughts of Fluttershy, of A.J and Neon, of her career, of college courses, everything seemed to be lending a hand in keeping her awake.
She turned to look at the clock on his bedside table. "3:48 a.m?!" Rainbow sighed, resting her head back on the pillow.
“What am I gonna do?” She asked herself aloud. “I promised Cloudchaser I would do well in this upcoming competition, but with Thunderlane gone I can’t even enter.” She grumbled with annoyance, she just wanted to sleep. She’d had a long, miserable, and all in all the worst day of her life.
Between 2:00 and 3:00 a.m. she’d had her turn in crying, then convincing herself she had to stop being so soft and think of how to fix the mess she’d made of her life. Spitfire will help me beg Thunderlane to come back, she always does, she thought. Closing her eyes, she heard the wind outside pick up and whistle as it flew past the open window, the beginnings of a storm rolling overhead.
Ironically she’d just fallen asleep as the storm started to pick up, thunder rumbling and moments later, a white flash of lightning, that didn’t stir the Rainbow-maned mare from her sleep. However, it soon woke the mare in the bed beside her.
Fluttershy jumped as the lightning flashed outside. Looking over to the clock she saw that it was off, the electricity tripped out by the storm, the curtains billowing in the harsh wind blowing through the open window, Fluttershy hastily tiptoed over to it. Just her luck was that it was this damn window that was left open, she could never close it, and she hated when she had to give up and ask Rainbow to close it for her. With great difficulty Fluttershy put her weight on the window, forcing it to slide down, and closed.
For once in her life closing the curtains, she rushed back over to her bed, sitting with her lower hoofs drawn up to her chest, the covers wrapped tightly round her in the way a foal would when they have a bad dream. Pull yourself together Fluttershy, she thought, looking around her at the all of a sudden creepy darkness, Rainbow would never let you live it down if she woke up and found you worrying in the dark like a little foal, afraid of a bit of a storm.
She jumped again as thunder rolled overhead, two seconds later the lightning flashing, illuminating the dark room, making Fluttershy reach desperately for her bedside lamp. However she quickly remembered after a few more failed attempts at switching it on that there was no electricity. Come on Fluttershy, pull yourself together - She squeaked loudly with fear as the thunder came again, lightning flashing almost directly out the back of the building.
Looking over to Rainbow, she noticed that she was still asleep, the storm not bothering her in the slightest. If she wakes up and sees me like this she’ll- “Ah!” she squealed, as the thunder and lightning repeated.
Rainbow frowned as she felt something poking her in the shoulder, turning; she saw Fluttershy silhouetted at her side as the lightning flashed once more, noticing the older mare flinch.
“What the fuck?” she mumbled, grumpy, only having fallen asleep around fifteen minutes ago.
“Can I sleep with you tonight?” asked Fluttershy pathetically. Rainbow sneered.
“What?”
“I don’t like thunder…and there’s no electricity…” she whimpered pitifully.
“Do you have any idea what time it is?”
“Rainbow, please? I... I’m really scared.”
“Piss off you wimp, I’ve got to do a lot practice tomorrow so why don’t you get back over to your own bed and get over your fucking phobia on your own!” she growled turning back over, “grow up…you big foal…”
Fluttershy turned away miserably. Leaping out of her skin and yelping slightly when another flash of lightning crashed outside their window, and Rainbow’s hoof snatched at her wrist, yanking her into the bed with her.
“Rainbow?”
“I don’t have time for games…but if you’ll forgive me for earlier, you can sleep here tonight,” muttered Rainbow. Fluttershy looked at her with glistening eyes and nodded.
“Thank you so much, Rainbow…” said Fluttershy as Rainbow shared the duvet a little more fairly.
The older Mare’s eyes snapped open with surprise as she felt Fluttershy nuzzling slightly into her chest as the storm seemed to worsen.
“You really are scared of thunder aren’t you?” asked Rainbow with disbelief. Fluttershy avoided her eyes, wearing a foalish look.
“…and lightning…” she added pitiably, making the other mare smile.
An awkward silence, the kind they both knew too well fell over them, both making a point of keeping their hoofs to themselves, but Fluttershy’s head resting on Rainbow’s shoulder, so that her breath tickled the younger mare’s chin.
“Fluttershy?” she asked quietly, not sure if the mare was still awake or not.
“Yeah?”
“Tomorrow, will you - never mind.”
“What is it?” asked Fluttershy sitting herself up to look at the other mare’s face.
“I just…tomorrow…when I go back into the sky again, it’ll be the first time since…” Fluttershy understood, and nodded slightly, flinching as the lightning struck, though a little further off this time. “Will you…fly out with me…for the first time? I just don’t feel very-”
“-Of course, if that’s something I can do to make you feel better,” said Fluttershy and Rainbow smiled again.
“Thanks.”
“Of course, plus it gives me a chance to find out what you’ve been doing all of the times that you’ve been gone when I’ve gotten up, or when I've got back from class.” Fluttershy smiled as she cuddled back into Rainbow Dash’s chest.
Fluttershy didn’t even respond when the next sound of thunder or flash of lightning lit the room, already dozing back off next to Rainbow, and the other mare not far behind. Finding it easier to sleep all of a sudden, as Rainbow shifted in her sleep, pressing closer against the other mare’s body, so that Rainbow could feel her heartbeat against her chest. I shouldn't be able to feel this contented so soon...but Cloudchaser, is this… she closed her eyes, allowing sleep to take her, the smaller frame spooned against her, her heartbeat the lullaby, soothing her racing mind and heavy heart, is this what it’s like…to be happy?
Author's Note
Finally got this done, sorry about the year long wait, but I've been dealing with a lot of IRL issues
Enjoy
