Chapters You clear your throat. You’ve got sand on your hooves, and dirt in your mane, but you’re lucky that this bus came by when it did. You and your three best friends were all about to be killed by a group of bandits when the rusty automobile pulled around and introduced it’s bumper to the savages. The old brown earth pony driving it offered to take you to the nearest town, free of charge. Not being one to look a gift horse in the mouth, you accepted the offer.
You’re recalling this as you shuffle your hooves on the floorboard, taking a seat near the front of the bus. The gun you had taken with you when you first left off on your quest to find treasure in the Pandorian wastes was still more or less in one piece, but you notice the painted emblem chipping off as you slide it onto the seat you plan to take. After a few minutes, the driver makes sure that the passengers- you and your friends, are situated, and he takes off.
After another few minutes, you break the silence.
“So, where are we headed?”
“I’ll take you to the closest town over,” the driver said, his accent reflecting heritage from Moskhoof, one of Equestria’s northernmost regions. “But if you want to go any further you’ll have to pay. 5 bucks a mile.”
You can only sigh and try to relax, but you’re intrigued as the bus driver begins to speak again...
Would you like to hear a story? One in which the very fate of Equestria hangs in the balance? If not, too bad- I’m telling you anyway. First, there was the Vault, a magical prison opened with a mystical key. To those who opened it, the Vault was just a container of monsters and disappointment. They vanished into the wastelands, certain that this Vault held no power at all. They were wrong. The Vault’s opening triggered the growth of Eridium, a valuable magical element. Soon, this rare mineral began to appear all throughout the continent of Pandora, It’s appearance attracted many, including the Hyperion Corporation.
They came to mine Eridium, and claim the Pandorian Wasteland for themselves. They soon discovered the presence of an even greater Vault. Their leader vowed to find it, and use it’s power to bring order to the wastes of Pandora once and for all. But Hyperion weren’t the only ones searching for the next Vault’s magical power. The call of danger and loot is not so easily resisted. Certain warriors came to Pandora in search of its hidden secrets. Some would call them adventurers. Some would call them fools. But I... I call them Vault Hunters.
These Vault Hunters scoured the wastes, searching for the Vault, only to be tricked by Handsome Jack, the leader of Hyperion. Handsome Jack knew that this new Vault was not a ancient prison, or a source of magical energy, but a creature, a warrior powerful enough to wipe out the entire continent, perhaps even move into the Princess’s more secured lands. All he needed to do was wake the Warrior, and it would be his to control. This plan did not go as he hoped, as the Vault Hunters that he tricked learned of his plans and put an end to them.
Sacrifices were made, and many were lost, but at the end of the day, Jack was defeated and his Warrior was slain. These now legendary Vault Hunters learned that more Vaults existed throughout the many continents of Equestria, as well as further, unexplored areas of their planet. With the help of friends they made along the way, they worked to ensure that no Vault could ever be opened again.
Princess Celestia never once paid a glance to Pandora, its violent state not worth her efforts. What did get her attention, though, was the knowledge that the Crystal Empire was a Vault, and its connection to the last Vault’s opening. She sent her six most trusted subjects, one a princess herself, to the Crystal Empire.
With their leader gone, Hyperion slowly turned to ash. From it’s ashes, however, the Helios Syndicate rose. They were the last of the Hyperion who hoped to open the Vault and use it’s power to restore Hyperion to it’s former glory. They went to the Crystal Empire, hoping to unlock the Vault there, but were met with no way to open it. The Vault Hunters, with help from Celestia’s six, drove off Helios, but they eventually returned with a new key, and were able to raise the Warrior from its slumber. This marked the Crystal Empire’s collapse. Celestia’s six and the Vault Hunters retreated to Canterlot, where they defeated the second Warrior.
Things were stirred up for the longest time, but like everything, it died down. The Vault Hunters disappeared into history, as well as Celestia’s six. They are said to wander the world, making sure that the Vaults are not being disturbed. With the Vaults safe, you might think that Equestria is safe. That’s where you’d be wrong. The sudden increase of Eridium has poisoned certain parts of the world, Pandora specifically. Unfortunately Eridium is a radioactive element, and has caused many areas to be inaccessible. One such place, perhaps the most poisoned place in Equestria is Pandora’s Box, an island to the north of Equestria. Nopony knows how or why it got to be so uncontrolled, but some say that there’s a special Vault there, one that holds something more than a Warrior.
Our story begins with four Vault Hunters, and a mare named Solf Blues....
It was cold in the wasteland, as the weather there is wild as an untamed beast. Ponies there didn’t have the time to move clouds and summon rainstorms, for they were preoccupied with other things. As a lone truck sped across the snow covered dirt, the four ponies that rode in the truck bed looked out into the flat land, wishing they had more than salvaged material to come home with. They were Vault Hunters, looking for some way to keep the Vaults of Pandora and the rest of Equestria safe. Although they didn’t seek out the Vaults for loot anymore, the name ‘Vault Hunter’ still stuck. Vault Hunters were more like protectors than anything, venturing out to keep the world safe, instead of only helping themselves.
The driver called to them, letting them know that they’d need to stop for gas soon. Shortly enough they came upon a small gas station, and in the distance they could make out a small town. Hopefully they were friendly to passerbys. So far, they would have no such luck. The gas station had several broken windows, and a destroyed fuel tank. It was obvious that something attacked the station, either bandits or some monster. Hopefully it was the former. The Vault Hunters hopped off the back of the truck, and began searching for some fuel for the truck.
As the driver waited patiently, gentling tapping his front hooves together, a sudden gunshot rang out. Not a moment later the driver was dead, a bullet entering his body through face. The sudden noise got the Vault Hunters’ attention, the first to react being the purple coated mare. She quickly pulled her hoodie up onto her head and made her way out to the truck, spotting another truck in the distance. This one was occupied by several tough looking, dark colored stallions, all with guns, and driving straight towards them. Bandits.
A unicorn stallion pushed her aside from behind, and thrust his foreleg out. This Vault Hunter had a red coat, and a medium length black mane. He wore a grey long coat, and each of his forelegs had a shackle on them. A large shield extended from a device attached to one of the shackles, and he used it to deflect incoming fire from the bandits. The truck came closer, but it suddenly crashed into a stone wall, conjured from the stallion’s magic.
Check Mate, as the Vanguard
The savage bandits that survived the crash jumped from their wrecked vehicle, assaulting the gas station on hoof. One stopped to aim his weapon with two hooves, but the hooded purple mare appeared behind him, and thrust two daggers into his back. The mare grabbed his weapon and shot one of his comrades dead before he hit the ground.
Blood Rain, as the Recon
On the other side of the wrecked truck, a dark grey mare lay on her back, injured from three bullet wounds. She wore a hoodie as well, but had a gas mask covering her face. Two bandits stood over her, until a sudden burst of magic hit one of them. His body began to falter, his life force absorbing into the caster. The caster himself stood behind him, a black changeling wearing a simple bandolier around his chest. His crooked horn glowed blue, and the spell fired again, sucking the life from the other bandit. He then focused on casting a spell toward the injured earth pony, and her wounds were healed.
Virtuous Love, as the Medic
He helped the mare up, who pushed him aside as she noticed another bandit behind him. She reached into her hoodie and produced a small device, which she tossed at the bandit’s hooves. Instead of exploding like he thought it would, the device released a sharp sonic pulse that made him drop his weapon and cover his ears. It lasted only a moment, but the mare who tossed the weapon was already on him, taking him out with a switchblade.
And White Noise, as the Machinist
The four Vault Hunters surrounded the last bandit, backing him against their truck. In an act of desperation he rolled a grenade under the vehicle, killing himself and scattering the four Vault Hunters. They righted themselves, wondering what they were going to do now that their only ride was destroyed. On top of that, the bandits seemed to have came from the direction of the town, which could only mean that there were more where that had came from.
Their questions would be answered by a small yellow robot who just happened to be in the area...
“Well that’s just great.” Check Mate prodded the wreckage of their vehicle with a hoof. Behind him, Blood Rain pulled her hood back. Her mane was a swirl of dark red, and cobalt blue, accentuating her purple coat. Her eyes were a bright red, and reflected her Lunar heritage. The residents of the newly colonized moon had eyes that resembled a cat’s, with elongated slits that allowed more light reach the actual eye. Light was something that wasn’t always present on the moon, so these eyes allowed her to see in darker areas.
“Guess we’ll just have to hoof it, then?” Rain looked to other Vault Hunters, who had been searching the wreckage for anything salvageable.
“I’m afraid so,” Check Mate sighed. He was the most robust out of the four of them, but a long walk still wasn’t a pleasant experience. Before he could take his first step, a voice cut off his thought process.
“Hey! Vault Hunters! Over here!”
Virtuous Love looked behind him, scanning the wrecked vehicle and vacant gas station for the source of the noise. The changeling saw nothing, and noticed his fellow Vault Hunters didn’t either.
“Could you help me out? I’m stuck under this pile of building that collapsed when the truck exploded! You probably could’ve figured that out though.” The voice had a metallic ring to it, but also seemed rather happy. “You know, from the sound of my voice?”
After a few moment of searching, they discovered that the source of the voice was a small yellow robot, one with old Hyperion markings on it. He was stuck under a pile of rubble by side of the station, and was slowly becoming covered in snow. The robot righted himself, balancing his boxlike body on a single wheel beneath his frame. Two slim arms hung down from his sides at the same level his eye was placed; near the top of his body. Atop said body was a thin metal antenna. His eye glowed with a blue light as he got a better look at the Vault Hunters.
“Hello! Thanks for rescuing me, friend!”
“Um, hi,” Blood Rain replied, not sure of what to make of this machine, “Who are you?”
“I am the CL4P-TP steward bot, but my friends call me Claptrap! That is, if any of my friends were still around.”
“You don’t have any friends?” Virtuous asked, “Can’t get very far nowadays without friends.”
“Well, I did,” Claptrap told him, “But then we got separated, and I assumed they all got torn limb from limb by threshers!” He paused, then added, “If I sound happy about this, that’s only because my programmers made this my default tone of voice. I’m actually quite depressed!”
Check Mate chuckled internally. “Well, we better start moving. You can tag along with us, but-”
“Hey,” Blood Rain bumped him with a hoof. “We can’t just go around picking up random robots. He’s got a Hyperion mark on him, he could be linked to Helios!”
“What are you doing out here?” Virtuous asked the robot.
“Well,” Claptrap began, “I was on my way to Sanctuary to see one of my old friends, but since I met you guys here, and you guys aren’t trying to kill me, I guess my problem is solved!”
“What do you mean?”
“This,” the robot produced a small yellow amulet, his hands allowing him to hold the chain of it’s necklace up from them to see. The changeling squinted, trying to figure out what it was. “This is something that I need to hide. If you’d help me get this somewhere safe, I’d owe you a great deal.”
Grey Noise, who had been silently watching the road this entire time, tapped Check Mate on the shoulder. The gas masked mare pointed to another bandit vehicle, probably searching for the one that they had destroyed. It hadn’t spotted them yet, so they had to move quickly.
“Claptrap,” Check Mate said, “There’s more bandits coming, we can’t stay here.”
“Take this then!” He thrusted the amulet into Check’s hoof, “And I’ll show you a place where we can hide.”
They followed Claptrap, who showed them to a small cave. It was cold, but it offered a place to hide. It was somewhat well furnished, with a small table and several chairs pulled up around it, as well as a cabinet and a couch off to the side. Claptrap explained how he had several places like this scattered throughout Pandora, and had worked with Vault Hunters before.
“And the one thing that I don’t get,” he explained, “Is how you ponies holds things in your hooves. I mean, come on!”
Blood Rain was very skeptical about this robot. He was very forthcoming with all of this information, but was it all true? It sounded like he was involved with the downfall of Hyperion.
“Oh, and one more thing, before I forget,” Claptrap searched around in the cabinet, before coming back with four earpieces. “Take these ECHO devices. They’ll help us keep in touch, as well provide you with useful information. Don’t worry about any dried blood on them, they should still work.”
They were very, very cold. Check Mate cringed as he put the speaker into his ear, but was intrigued as the vitals and tactical readout appeared before his eyes. He could see the three others as his friends put theirs in, the ECHOs automatically linking to each other as they booted up. These would be useful.
“Thanks. Now, about that amulet?”
“Check,” Rain cut him off again, her voice a sharp whisper, “Are you sure you think we should do this?”
“Yes, Rain, friends are what we need out here.” Check matched her tone.
“Yeah, but who knows what we’re getting into? What if this is something bigger than we can handle?”
“What if it’s not? What if it helps us find and protect the Vaults? This robot here just needs us to hide this amulet for him, what’s the big deal?”
“Ugh...” Blood Rain looked to the changeling, “What do you think, V?”
Virtuous thought for a moment. “I think we should help him, he’s already helped us.”
Rain looked to Grey Noise, who only nodded her head. Defeated, Blood Rain sighed and rolled her eyes. “I don’t like this, but whatever...”
“Well, you see...” Claptrap’s voice got quiet, “I need to hide that amulet, because... well... let’s just say it’s important to a certain individual that I don’t particularly like, okay? Well, I was going to hide it in Sanctuary, but now that I think about it that’s kinda obvious, so maybe you guys could help me find a better place for it?”
“I don’t know...” Check Mate thought about all the safe places he’d been, but could only think of one place. “The only place I can think of is Ivory, which is pretty far from here.”
“No, wait!” Claptrap exclaimed, “I know exactly where I can hide it! I have a friend who is very strong, and can keep it safe, but we just need to find him...”
“Where is he?” Virtuous asked.
“He actually lives close by, I think. If we’re near the town of Icepaw, he should be just past it, in Stag Valley. At least, I hope that’s where he is...”
“What’s the catch?” Blood Rain knew that it couldn’t be that easy. “It’s going to be dangerous, isn’t it?”
“Well, I just came from Icepaw, and everyone there is kind of a jerk. So yes. But, if you were to help me meet with my friend and deliver the amulet to him, I’d be happy to return the favor.”
Rain sighed, only wanting to get this over with. “Let’s go then.”
The Vault Hunters returned to the gas station with Claptrap, recovering fallen weapons from their previous battle and making sure the bandit trucks have left. Everything was going well so far. They walked down the path that led to the town of Icepaw, and stopped in front of the closed front gate. The town’s walls prevented entrance on all sides, save where the gates were.
As they approached, the Vault Hunters heard a buzzing in their ECHO devices, followed by a voice.
“My amulet... Is in Icepaw?” The voice asked, as if to somepony right next to her. It was a mare’s voice, soft yet serious. Her tone strengthened as she gave her next command. “Attention, residents of Icepaw, this is Solf Blues, the current head of the Helios Syndicate. I am offering one million bits to the pony that brings me my amulet! You all know which one I’m talking about, a small yellow robot that just came through there had it.”
Grey Noise shot a glance at Check Mate, who returned with a look of concern. They all heard the message, including Claptrap.
“Uhh... About that,” the robot said, “Everyone here kinda knows I have the amulet... so...”
Rain pointed her rifle at Claptrap, “Helios? They’re here? You set us up, didn’t you?”
“No! I didn’t!” He cried in defense, his voice trembling in fear, “I swear, I didn’t know she’d find me here!”
"So you stole from Helios? Are you crazy?"
“Rain,” the gentle unicorn put a hoof on her gun, lowering it. “We’ve got other problems to worry about. If we can get him through here, we might have a lead. He’s clearly been around a while, he may know something about the Vault.”
“The Vaults? Oh! Yes, I know a lot about the Vaults, just help me and I’ll tell you everything! Let me open the gate, and hopefully you guys will be able to get through there without them noticing.”
“How’re you going to....” Rain couldn’t even finish her sentence before Claptrap rolled himself up to a panel, pressed a few buttons, and began to raise the gate.
“Aaaaaand open!” He announced, waving his arms in the air to express his excitement. No sooner had he done that, a bandit waiting by the front gate noticed, and began to attack them. He called to several others, and soon enough the Vault Hunters were fighting, firing their weapons at enemies who presented themselves, until no more had arrived. It happened so quick, they didn’t even notice that Claptrap had seemingly disappeared.
Check Mate lowered his shield and looked for the little robot. A small trail in the snow that could’ve only been left by Claptrap’s wheel led around a corner. He heard screaming in the distance. Claptrap’s screaming.
“Ack! Put me down!”
Without thinking, Check Mate turned the corner, only to see a large and particularly mean looking bandit with a flailing Claptrap dangling upside down from his mouth. The stallion was easily twice the size of Check Mate, and blocked all passage down that particular path. His victim called out to Check Mate when he saw him and his friends turn the corner.
“Help me!” He called, “Don’t let him know that you have the amulet!”
Upon hearing this, the huge pony spat the panicked robot from his mouth, and shook the snow from his mane. Underneath the snow, this pony had a ice blue mane, with a snow-coated horn pushing through it. As the he brushed the rest of the snow off himself, his dark grey coat became clearer. His horn glowed a dull green, the same color as his eyes, and Claptrap quickly became encapsulated in a block of ice. The bandit growled and swatted the frozen Claptrap aside, reaching for a large metal beam that he wielded as a club.
"Heh..." he breathed, "What I'd do with a million bits..."
Ice Breaker- Brutally Cold
Ice Breaker brought his metal club down on Check Mate, who lifted his shield to block the strike. He grunted as the force of the attack pressed him into the ground, but pistol fire from Grey Noise distracted the bandit long enough for him to push back and avoid being crushed. He got in close, raising his Sub Machine Gun to attack, but a blast of ice magic froze his back hooves to the ground. As he fell forward, doing his best to free himself with his front hooves, Virtuous Love made his attack with a scattergun, stumbling Ice Breaker back long enough for the changeling to help free his friend’s hooves.
Blood Rain put her gun on her back, charging at the brute of a pony and swiping at his front legs with her daggers. Ice Breaker growled in response, knocking her into a solid concrete building.
“Bring a bigger stick next time, puny mare!” He taunted, not noticing Grey Noise’s gadget being hurled into his face. The pulse emitted from it only enraged him, but his roars and threats of death were cut short as Check Mate and Grey Noise attacked him together. Ice Breaker’s horn glowed again, and this time a chunk of ice was hurled in Grey’s direction. Check’s shield blocked the attack, but Check also collapsed before her. She couldn’t help him up, but she did jump over him, firing her gun relentlessly.
Virtuous had helped Rain back up, but when he went to help Check, the unicorn insisted that the changeling drain Ice Breaker’s energy. The spell was cast, just in time to keep them both from being crushed. Ice Breaker’s foreleg suddenly lost it’s energy, releasing the club and planting itself in the ground for support.
“Hit...” Check coughed, “Hit him now!”
Blood Rain swept her daggers through the large unicorn’s front legs, knocking him flat on his face. Lifting his foreleg to aim down his weapon’s sight, he lined up Ice Breaker’s head and fired. The bullets that ripped through his skull killed him, and Check Mate was filled with a sudden sense of victory. With this sense of victory came a rush of energy, which he used to stand up and take a deep breath. They had beaten this brutish bandit. Now all they had to do was unthaw Claptrap and make their way to his friend.
“Okay...” Blood Rain said, catching her breath, “That was pretty badass...”
“I certainly feel more badass.” Check Mate took a look at his shield. The clamp that attached the shield to his shackles was limiting the spread of the shield while deployed... He fiddled around with a few bolts on it, and found his shield could reach an inch or two further now.
“We gotta do something about Claptrap...” Virtuous circled around the ice cubed robot, inspecting his frozen prison. His eye seemed to move around a little, and his voice was just barely heard through the thick wall of frozen water.
“Hey! Find a fire weapon, get me outta here!”
Grey Noise turned her gaze to Check Mate.
“What?” He looked back, not understanding what she was trying to tell him.
“She may be on to something,” Virtuous said, “Do you know any fire spells, Check?”
The unicorn in question shook his head. “Sorry, I never took the time to learn elemental magic.”
“Well, where are we going to find a fire weapon?”
Claptrap spoke again from the ice. “Find my friend, he’s got what you need. Get out to Stag Valley, just south of town. Tell him that I’m in trouble!”
The four Vault Hunters headed for the south gate, moving as fast as they could through bandits that were out for their blood.
“I knew we were getting into more than we could handle,” Blood Rain grumbled.
Stag Valley was just as cold as Icepaw. If it weren’t for the noticeable drop in elevation, there’d be no telling when they actually got there, because it looked just about identical to the rest of everything in the frozen wasteland. To get Claptrap free, the Vault Hunters would need to find his friend, assuming that his friend had fire weapons. If he didn’t... they’d figure something out. As they entered Stag Valley, their ECHO devices lit up with a transmission.
“You... You Vault Hunters have my amulet, don’t you?” It was the same mare from before, Solf Blues. “Give it back...”
“Don’t even try,” Check Mate replied, making sure he secured the amulet in his coat’s pocket. “We’re not doing anything for you.”
“Then I guess I’ll have to take it from you then... It’s unfortunate that you bandits don’t listen to reason.”
Something was coming. The Vault Hunters made their way down the path, hoping it would lead them to their objective. It wasn’t long until they saw the drop barge overhead, deploying a team of Helios soldiers off at a small gap in the path. The gap was a long drop into some rather sharp looking rocks, and an old wooden bridge was the only thing connecting one side to the other.
The soldiers were just regular ponies, outfitted with the standard yellow Hyperion armour. Although outdated, the armour still proved effective, offering a greater challenge to the Vault Hunters as they neared their position. It took longer to kill the soldiers than the average bandit, but they still were able to do so. Blood Rain turned to get Check Mate’s attention.
“We’re tangling with Helios now?”
“We were tangling with Helios before,” Check told her.
“Yeah, but this is crazy.”
They were both interrupted by a new voice, shouting over their ECHOs. It was followed by gunfire, and screaming in the background.
“I’M GONNA PUT MY PAIN INTO YOUR SOUL!”
It was a one way transmission, but they heard Claptrap respond to it over their ECHOs.
“That sounds like him! You guys are getting close to him? I... Hey! Go away! Stop hitting my ice cube!”
“Claptrap?” Blood Rain wondered how the small robot was contacting them.
“Oh, I got my ECHO working again. Something must’ve knocked it loose when I got attacked, but all I have in this block of ice is time to fix it... And would you please stop hitting my block?” There was a brief pause, and then, “Don’t worry about me, just find my friend! Listen for the sound of ponies screaming, and you should be on the right track.”
“How do we know we’ve found him?”
“Oh, you’ll know him when you see him. Believe me.”
That was probably the only description they were going to get. It would be best to keep moving before more Helios soldiers showed up, but weren’t exactly sure what they’d find on the road ahead. Further down the path, the encountered a turn that led into a cave, where several Helios soldiers lay dead. Their armour was forcibly torn apart by a blade of some sort, as blood was fountaining forth from the wounds. A transmission from the assumed killer sounded over their ECHOs.
“TINY HELIOS PONIES ARE CHICKEN WINGS!”
“I’m not so sure about this...” Blood Rain started.
“You’re not so sure about anything.” Check Mate replied.
“This guy seems crazy!”
“At least he’s on our side.”
Rain shook her head, “How do you know? He could attack us too!”
Virtuous Love put a hoof on her shoulder, attempting to relax her. “If he’s Claptrap’s friend, then he won’t attack us if he realizes were with him.”
“YOU CANNOT OUT-ROBUST ME! MY MIDDLE NAME IS POTATO!” The voice roared over the ECHO.
“How do we know that he’ll recognize us?” Rain asked.
Grey Noise sighed.
“We don’t.” She said. The two words were powerful enough to get the attention of the other three. The masked pony took a step forward into the cave. Virtuous followed suit, and looked back to the frictionous duo behind them.
“You two just gonna stay here and wait for the drop-barge to dump more bad guys on you?” The changeling asked, “Or are we going to try to stick together?”
Going through the cave hadn’t been as dangerous as getting to it. It seemed to have been dug out by ponies, as several old mining drills and other gear had been seemingly abandoned on the rocky floor. No remains of these ponies were there, or if they were they were just concealed by the Helios corpses strung out across the place. As the Vault Hunters ventured deeper into the cave, they began to see large crystal formations jutting forth from the ground. The corpses weren’t as thick here, but the ones that were there could be seen impaled upon the sharper of these crystals. They seemed to be older than the ones near the entrance, as if the pony that lived here had been under attack by Helios for some time now. This also hinted at the possibility of him just recently being near the front of the cave. Perhaps he was overpowered and had to fall back?
No questions were answered as they ventured through the cave, the sunlight starting to fade, and the path beginning to be lit by torches place along the walls. These were another guide to their target. Eventually, they came to an opening in the cave where a large crystal in the center of the chamber glowed brilliantly with just the nearby torchlight. A small team of three Helios soldiers had a single pony cornered against the crystal. This pony had a mahogany colored coat, and wore a yellow face mask. On its right side, a small filter indicated it served as a gas mask. His entire body was covered in blood, and his cutie mark was a flaming stick of dynamite. His body was very robust; this pony was definitely a bandit.
The cornered pony did not look like he was defenseless, though, for he was currently removing the sharp end of an axe from the head of a dead soldier. The axe’s blade was serrated, and was revealed to be a chainsaw blade. It buzzed violently on the end of the axe as the pony swung it out at the nearest enemy. Flames began to engulf the end of the weapon, and in turn the soldier. Strangely enough, the pony wielding the vicious weapon caught fire as well, but the burn only seemed to fuel his rage. The buzzaxe hacked into the flaming soldier, and then found itself slicing through the next soldier’s stomach. Their armor protected them against the fire, until it was cut open by the weapon.
This crazy bandit, this psycho, who, still engulfed in a raging fire, towered over the last soldier, who shrunk down onto the ground in fear.
“YOUR CUPCAKES WILL NOT SUFFICE MY FLAMING HUNGER!” The bandit roared, the soldier squealing in terror. The bandit exhaled on the shriveling stallion, but instead of a regular breath, a jet of fire erupted from his mask.
Krieg, as an insane bandit.
Embers engulfed the soldier as his attacker sawed off the locks on his helmet and ripped it off. The axe’s blade slashed across the now exposed throat, killing him almost instantly. He looked up at the Vault Hunters as he let the body drop, and seemed to glare at them under his mask. The bandit seemed to realize that they were not hostile, and lowered his weapon. The fire about him was extinguished as well.
“... No! The grains are not here!” He sternly told somepony that only he could see. Addressing the Vault Hunters, he thrust a foreleg at them. “You small ponies are my new KILLING BUDDIES!”
There was an awkward silence.
“I’m assuming that you know Claptrap?” Virtuous Love was the first to speak to this savage bandit.
“You’re talking about the yellow SALT SHAKER?”
“Uhh...”
“The robot is my metal SOULMATE! HE is the leader of MANY MINIONS!”
“Claptrap sure has some weird friends...” Rain mumbled.
“Claptrap is in trouble, frozen in a block of ice. He told us that you have fire weapons.” The changeling looked around the chamber, not finding anything in particular but rocks and dead bodies.
“Weapons? I AM THE FIRE WEAPON! I AM KRIEG!” He howled.
“I guess that means you’ll help us?” Virtuous Love extended a hoof for a hoofshake. In response, Krieg threw his weapon into the rock, embedding it there, and grabbed the surprised changeling in a tight embrace. Instead of a hug of friendship, Krieg bashed his head into Virtuous’s.
“You are solid. Metal gear solid! I will give you a MEAT SHIELD FROM THE BLOOD OF OUR ENEMIES!”
“Good... I think...” Virtuous shook his head, attempting to clear it from the sudden test of pain tolerance.
On the walk back, Krieg explained through a series of short grunts, shouts, and random phrases about blood cocktails that he had been under attack by Helios for quite some time. He thought he was safe hiding out in Stag Valley until the Vault Hunters drew Helios’s attention to him. Some of his unintelligible babble contained phrases like “sirens”, “lava lizard”, and “bleeding angels”. This pony had obviously been through a lot, and it showed through his insanity.
Claptrap had been contacted when they reached the entrance of the cave, reporting that he was okay, and that this psychotic bandit was indeed the one they were looking for. Claptrap also seemed to have something trying to break his ice cube, but couldn’t seem to describe it. Hopefully he wasn’t in any danger.
“Those Vault Hunters have my amulet...” Solf Blues sat at her hologram table. A blue cascade of lights illuminated a three-dimensional overview of the continent of Pandora, currently zoomed in on the town of Icepaw and it’s surrounding areas. The rest of the room was dark, for Blues liked to have her hologram be the only source of light. As such she was startled by the sudden entrance of a messenger pony, who had a concerned look across his face.
“Miss Blues, the detachment of troops you sent to Stag Valley were all killed...”
Blues sighed, and put a hoof to her face. As angry as she was, she wasn’t going to let it out on this messanger. She was not going to be like Handsome Jack in that way. No, the only ponies that truly deserved to die were those filthy bandits. Jack may have been doing things wrong, but that was only because he couldn’t see past his own ego to help others. That was what truly led to his downfall, not those so called ‘legendary’ Vault Hunters that took his life.
Solf Blues could see the error in Handsome Jack’s ways, and improved upon them. She was the Phoenix that rose from Hyperion’s ashes, and she would unlock the Vault on Pandora’s Box, but she needed her amulet first. The amulet was the only thing that could possibly power her only method of clearing the island of Pandora’s box of it’s poisonous waste. Experiments and research was being performed in hopes of finding a new way to power her methods, but that route wasn’t looking too bright.
“Shall we send another dispatch, Miss Blues?”
“No.” She replied, after a moment of silence. “We shouldn’t waste our resources just yet. Keep me informed on where they are going to be next. Anything else I should know?”
“The one bandit that you wanted dead has joined forces with these new Vault Hunters.”
“Which one?”
“The one named ‘Krieg’.”
The moment the name reached her ears, Solf Blues made a gesture to her table with her hooves. The map of Stag Valley and Icepaw suddenly became miniscule as it zoomed out, revealing more of the land surrounding it. She looked back up to the messenger.
“Do you have the locations of the Sirens on this continent?”
“Well, not exactly. We have their last known locations, but they may not be entirely accurate.”
“Upload the locations to my map. Give the word to prepare two heavy assault strike teams as well.”
The messenger gave a sharp salute and promptly left Blues’s chambers. It was time to capture a Siren...
Claptrap’s ice cube didn’t have a very good view of the town of Icepaw. He could only see blurred shapes, moving hooves to strike the block of ice. The poor robot couldn’t even tell what exactly it was that was hitting it, but he did know that it wasn’t responding to his shouting. Claptrap also didn’t bother ECHOing the Vault Hunters again, for the last group that he constantly ECHOed got very annoyed with him.
Muffled voices were heard, followed by muffled popping sounds, and the blurred figures closest to Claptrap’s ice cube suddenly dropped to the ground. Had they been killed by something? His eye couldn’t turn far enough to see any other blurs, and he couldn’t turn his body at all. A tall, reddish brown blur moved into his light of sight, and appeared to look back at something else. Muffled voice were heard once more, and a bright light filled Claptrap’s vision. The ice around him became very warm, and slowly turned to liquid. The source became visible as the ice melted, a fire coming from a large pony’s mouth.
“THE HAY HAS BEEN COOKED!” Krieg shouted at the conclusion of freeing Claptrap.
“Minion!” Claptrap threw his hands into the air and cheerfully spun around. “I don’t know how happy I am to see you again!”
“It’s great to see you too! I’m so happy I could just stab you!”
Grey Noise cleared the awkward silence that ensued after that comment with a cough. The other Vault Hunters that had found Krieg were standing to the side, watching this odd reunion with a mixture of curiosity, disappointment, and confusion.
“Are you alright Claptrap?” Virtuous Love asked him.
“You know it!” Claptrap replied. “Thanks again for helping me out. Do you still have the amulet?”
“It’s right here,” Check Mate produced the glowing yellow item from the inside of his right shackle, which he found to hold it quite conveniently without it falling to the ground.
“Great! Now, Krieg, we were originally going to ask you if you could keep that amulet away from Helios, but since they know where you are now, we’re probably going to have to look somewhere else.”
“LAMPPOST!”
“Great idea, we should go to Ivory!”
Blood Rain slapped herself several times internally for what she had gotten herself into.
“I agree.” Check Mate said. "I don't think anypony would think to look there."
"What's Ivory?" Virtuous Love asked.
“Ivory’s a small town where ponies who escaped the Crystal Empire when it fell went to. As you might’ve guessed, it was founded after the Crystal Empire fell. It’s a... haven, kinda like a sanctuary for those who are trying to get away from the crap going on in Equestria.”
“If it’s closer to the Crystal Empire...” Blood Rain began, “It can’t be close by.”
Claptrap nodded his body like a pony would nod his head. “We’re probably going to want to catch a ride then, huh?”
The road to Ivory was long and winding. Claptrap joked about finding a vehicle, but it was just merely a joke. They had to go by hoof. Many bandits were killed along the way, and many camps were raided for supplies and food. Not a word was heard from Solf Blues or her following, just psycho bandit after viscous marauder. Most of them were probably just nomads, searching for food and scavengable items among the wasteland, but their hostility lead them to their deaths.
Blood Rain had just placed her hoof down onto the last centimeter of snow covered earth. They had followed the path through a mountain range, and found the other side of the mountain to be a sandy desert. The purple mare turned to look at Check Mate, with an obvious lack of hope in her eyes. She saw no point in this trip, the whole reason they had gone through that danger was because they were trying to help that stupid robot.
“What?” The large, jacketed stallion looked back into her multicoloured eyes, not sure whether to focus on the red or the blue one.
“You’re not concerned with this at all?”
“What?” He repeated, trying to read her elusive expression. Emotions and deep stuff had always given him a hard time.
“We’ve followed this robot for who knows how long? We’ve fought through dozens of bandits, almost been eaten alive by skags, lit on fire, electrocuted, nearly dissolved in acid, caught in an explosion, and covered with Celestia-knows-what and I’m sick of it!” Her expression suddenly jumped from a simple displeasure to a downright fury. This surprised Check Mate, as well as the rest of their companions.
“Rain, he's leading somewhere safe...” Check Mate began. “Can’t you stick it out just a bit longer?”
“No! How do we even know that this place is safe? You’re a fool for trusting him!”
“A fool? Do you see any other options? What, you want to just stay at that bus stop for the rest of your life?” Check Mate took a step forward. “I know how you are, you’re just unsure about him because you barely can trust anypony.”
“Me?” Blood Rain mirrored his motions. “I’ve known you for a while and-”
“And you still barely trust me!”
The two were now face to face, pressing their foreheads against each other’s. Check Mate’s horn touched her head, and she violently shoved him back. He grunted, but shoved her back a bit harder. The aggressive action caused Claptrap and Krieg to impulsively step back, as if an event had been triggered that the other two Vault Hunters watching this conflict had missed. Virtuous Love disregarded the action and began to step in to defuse the situation, but Claptrap stopped him.
“Hey, I don’t think that’s a good idea. When two Vault Hunters perform a close, aggressive action like that to each other, they’ve challenged each other to a duel,” The robot sounded as if he was reading from a manual. “And if they’ve challenged each other, you should let them fight it out.”
“But, they might hurt each other...”
“Let the ponies fight, FIGHTING IS MAGIC!” Krieg cried. When Virtuous Love cast his gaze to Grey Noise, he saw her nod her head in agreement with the other two.
Check Mate stood on the sandy ground, staring at Blood Rain. Subconsciously, he knew that they were going to brawl. With a flick of his shoulders, he threw his grey longcoat to the side. Blood Rain kept her hoodie on. The red unicorn circled around the purple mare until they were in each other’s previous positions.
“You don’t want to start a fight with me...” Blood Rain spat.
“You’re the one who started this!” Check Mate replied, deploying his shield as Rain produced her knives. The steel blades collided with the steel plating, making a horrible scraping sound and leaving a deep cut on the shield. Check Mate pushed out and shoved her back, reaching for his submachine gun. Blood Rain tossed one of her knives, catching him in the hoof and making him drop the gun. He swung his shield in a vertical motion, but she leaped into the air and landed atop of the slab of metal, swinging a foreleg to bring her other knife down on Check Mate’s back.
The weapon did not strike, though, for Rain found herself being lifted into the air by a stone wall, followed by sand and dirt being thrown with her. The toss gave her a moment to steady her mind, and she tossed her second knife down, striking Check Mate in the back left leg. Gravity took her and slammed her into the ground, where she met the cold side of Check’s shield smashing her into the stone wall.
“Dammit...” she coughed, the last of her strength leaving her body. She passed out in a slump of purple fur and a swirl of blue and red mane. Check Mate winced as he looked back at the knife, which was sticking into his flank about an inch. He only fell over onto his side as he tried to remove it, his energy escaping him as well. His eyes closed, and he heard the scratchy voice of the changeling that traveled with him, Virtuous Love. He words he said, though, were drowned out by the sudden flare of pain that occurred as the piece of metal was removed from his back leg.
Through the hole in his body, the last of his will to remain awake fled. What did he do to deserve this? The bandits never did this to him.
“These new Vault Hunters, I want some background on them.” Solf Blues had her holo-table deactivated, and was using it for the purposes of a regular table. The informant who sat before her wore a full body suit of Hyperion’s standard yellow. The eyepieces glowed with a red light, but it did not bother the mare.
“This is the first one, from an old Hyperion ‘psychiatric ward’. Check Mate is the subject here, but I will have more,” the stallion answered, passing her an unmarked recording device on top of a nearly empty folder. Blues ran a hoof along the side of the small boxlike recorder before finding the playback button and pressing it. There was a crackling noise, followed by the shattering of glass. Following was a loud thump, a shout for help, loud crack and then silence.
“This is it?” Blues gave her informant a blank look.
“It’s all that we can pull from our current database. I’m sure if I led a recon team we could gather more information for you.”
“Do that then.” As the informant left her chambers, Solf Blues listened to the recording again. It didn’t seem like much, but it told her a lot about this particular Vault Hunter. He obviously was breaking out of the psych ward- she didn’t blame him, aforementioned wards during Handsome Jack’s period of control were probably just Eridium testing sites, where they ended up mutating everything and anything that had a pulse.
The only documents folders contained was a brief history of him and a list of his various mental problems. From what images the folder contained, she could tell he was a very strong pony, but that didn’t match up with the few records of him reflecting a high intellect, and very unique magical capabilities. Among various disorders, he had one called Energy Containment Disruption Disorder, which caused a reflex in the brain that normally triggered while using an energy direction spell, such as a fireball or a beam of light, to not trigger properly. If the reflex wasn’t triggered properly, then he could possibly harm himself if he casted a such a spell. That explained why he never learned any offensive magic. Solf Blues took a mental note of this, knowing that she could take advantage of this flaw.
If his intelligence matched his strength, then he would be hard to beat in a one-on-one, unless his attacker was extremely fast, but the fact that he had to rely on conventional weaponry to fight at a distance meant that he wouldn’t present any more of a challenge than a regular pony. Blues also took note that what she had wouldn’t properly reflect him in combat, because this was more of a history than a combat analysis. She would have more information coming soon, though.
Grey Noise silently walked with the others as they went on about something that wasn’t really important. Behind her mask, behind her shroud of mystery, was really just another pony with another problem. The three Vault Hunters that she had been travelling with found her and saved her from the wreckage of a shot down cargo ship, where she felt the need to repay them for saving her life. All of the time that she had known them, she rarely ever spoke. She did as she was told, and they got their work as mercenaries done. She tightened her dark grey hoodie around her body and kept walking. Sure, it was hot underneath, but at least it caught bullets slightly better than flesh did. The clothing covered her all the way to her tail, but her back legs were still exposed.
Soon enough, a small cluster of buildings was seen on the horizon. It wasn’t their destination, but it was something that Grey Noise knew would cause them trouble. Her head turned to Krieg as he made a few unintelligible grumbles. The maroon pony carried both the unconscious Blood Rain and Vanguard across his back. He was strong, to say the least. Virtuous Love had healed the bleeding and blunt trauma they had both received, but they didn’t seem to wake from their unconsciousness.
“Stupid, stupid, stupid...” Virtuous beat himself in his mind over and over again. “You shouldn’t have let them hurt each other...”
Claptrap, who led the party, pointed to a sign as they neared the buildings in the distance. It read “Lifton- 5 miles”.
“We’re nearing the town of Lifton! Hopefully no one there will try to rip us limb from limb!” Claptrap looked back across the sandy landscape to make sure those who followed them weren’t far. “Let’s go, friends!”
“You said hopefully?” Virtuous Love asked.
“Well, last time I went through there, everypony seemed nice enough. Bandits might’ve attacked, some monster could’ve killed them all and moved in, or even worse, Helios might’ve turned up.”
“It seems like that amulet is more trouble than it’s worth...”
“Not really.” Claptrap explained, “It’s only an infinite harvestable power source. If Helios were to get their hands on it, they could probably take over Pandora.”
“It seems as if it just puts a big target over whoever has it, though. Why not just get rid of it?”
“Trust me, I’ve tried,” Claptrap threw his arms in the air for emphasis. “I’ve tried to smash it, throw it in a volcano, feed it to threshers, and crush it with a singularity , but whatever the case is made out of is pretty tough.”
“So the only option is to hide it...”
“Yeah...” Claptrap trailed off. “Say, what kind of pony are you, anyway? I haven’t seen a pony like you before.”
Virtuous Love, like any changeling, didn’t feel comfortable being called out. Ironic, since changelings were shapeshifters by nature. He tried to make himself less conscious of what he looked like while still retaining his natural form. The question made him cringe a bit as he looked himself over. If he was a normal pony, he could’ve been mistaken for any common bandit, but his hard black exoskeleton, full teal eyes, and fang filled mouth made him iconically different from said bandit.
Instinctively, he turned his attention to his front hooves. His hooves reflected his overall health. If he was deprived of love, which changelings need to survive, they would become... lacerated. Holes would begin to form all over him, starting with his hooves, and his body would eventually shrivel up and he would die of love deficiency. Fortunately, he had friends that loved him enough to give him the love he needed without him having to take it from them, so his hooves remained solid.
Although he didn’t like being asked questions about his appearance, he didn’t blame the robot if he had never encountered a changeling before. However, he didn’t know how to explain what exactly he was without sounding socially terrible, considering the changelings’ track record in Equestria. Queen Chrysalis’s strain of mindless, ravenous changelings dominated the stereotype in the land of normal ponies. It’s true that changelings are susceptible to going berserk when deprived of food, just as much as any other sentient creature, but they generally wouldn’t aim to cause harm to others.
Just the thought of Queen Chrysalis made Virtuous Love shudder.
“Hey! Are you okay, buddy?” Claptrap asked to Virtuous’s silence, “I didn’t mean anything by that question.”
“No,” Virtuous replied, “It’s fine. I’m not really a pony at all, I’m called a changeling.”
“Cool! I thought you looked a little different. I’ve never seen a changeling before. I haven’t heard of them either... You’d think for someone who’s been around for as long as I have, you’d hear about a lot of things.”
“You’re lucky...”
“I sure am!” Claptrap cheerily answered. He missed the point of the comment, but that was alright.
Now, they were just entering Lifton. There was no wall surrounding it like Icepaw, it was just a group of ragged shacks made of wooden planks and metal sheets, held together assumedly by duct tape.
“Here we are!” Claptrap announced. “Lifton! We probably won’t be able to hide anything here, because there’s not really anypony here to keep it with. Let’s look around, maybe that building up there has some stuff we could scavenge!”
Claptrap pointed to a larger building, one that didn’t look so worn down when compared to the others. It had a small sunshade out front, and a door underneath it that led inside. A sudden crack erupted from inside, causing Claptrap to suddenly retract his arms and wheel inside his body. His eye flickered out, signaling that he was no longer viewing the world through it. The robot was now a small box that clattered against the ground in fear.
“Ack! I’ll just stay out here! You go check in there and make sure it’s safe!”
“I WILL SHIELD YOUR MEAT, CLAPTRAP!” Krieg shouted.
Of course, something that would most likely kill them was in town. Krieg stayed with Claptrap as Virtuous Love leaned his side against the rugged wall of the large shack, fearing that the wall might collapse under his weight. It did not, however, and allowed him to peek his head through the doorframe and get a glance of the inside.
A bandit lay half dead on the floor, and had what could only be described as a sniper rifle rammed through his belly. Above him, a deep blue pegasus mare held a syringe in her hooves. Her long mane was a swirl of pink and yellow, her tail matching as well, and the tips of her wings also followed that color scheme. The bandit struggled, crying out random phrases in an attempt to free himself as the needle slowly punctured the big vein in his neck.
“Shh...” The mare cooed, pressing the plunger of the needle in. Her voice was gentle, but at the same time strong. “It only hurts for a second...”
Whip Storm- Speak no evil. Fear no evil. Heal no evil.
She looked up, surprised to see the duo enter.“You’re not the common bandit... You must be seeking my help?”
They both stared at the pegasus, then at her victim, and then back up at her. No words could explain their swirl of reactions.
“Oh,” Whip Storm stood up, removing the needle from the lifeless body. “Where are my manners? I’m Whip Storm, Lifton’s Chief Medical Officer. I’m guessing you’re new in town? Well, I’d recommend going back to where you came, because there’s nopony here.”
“We’re actually just passing through... But we have a couple of friends who might need medical attention.”
“How bad are they? Bring them in!”
Luck was one of those things that Virtuous Love seemed to always have on his side. It just so happened that Whip Storm was the only pony left living in Lifton. Everypony else left for Equestria when Helios came through, and the bandits killed the rest. The last sane pony she talked to had gone to find a cure for his disease, the Skull Shivers. She couldn’t do anything for him without the proper medication, and she just didn’t have any on hoof. His only choice was to leave in search of what he needed, but he was never seen again. Storm told them her tale as she looked over the bodies of Check Mate and Blood Rain, who were still unconscious. They had been moved to makeshift operating tables as Storm worked.
“So you’ve just been waiting here?” Virtuous Love asked. “How long have you been here?”
“What’s today?”
“Tuesday, why?”
Whip Storm seemed to be calculating something in her head before giving an answer.
“It was thirteen months yesterday, why?”
“No reason...”
“You what?” Solf Blue’s surprise marked her face. Her hoof irritably tapped at a tray that held two soft, salty pretzels which she had meant to enjoy quite some time before a few issues came up.
“We put a bounty on her head,” Her yellow-clad informant sat before her again. What he thought had been a clever play had apparently only brought her annoyance. “We figured that if the bandits were going after her, we’d have an easier time snagging her while she was focusing on them.”
“You do realize that bandits are stupid, right?” Solf Blues asked, her tone becoming much like a bullet being chambered into a long rifle. Her informant could feel the tension building in his leader. “I’ve been having to feel up random mare’s bodies because apparently, everypony thought that it’d be a funny joke to try and fool me into thinking that they found one of the two Sirens I’m looking for.”
“I-”
“Take your helmet off,” Blues snapped. The stallion did as he was told, exposing his charcoal grey coat and cobalt blue mane to the air around him.
“Do you smell that?” The mare asked him. “That is the smell of marker fumes.”
The informant inhaled deeply, and blinked several times as the strong odor burned at the back of his eyes a little. He quickly donned his helmet to escape the impure air with the filters his head covering provided.
“I don’t have a helmet like yours, so I have to deal with that until the air filters can filter it. It is quite unpleasant.”
“I’ll see to it that there are no more... impostors sent to you. What of the Vault Hunters' files?”
"Capturing a Siren is our priority right now, you can run your recon team later.”
"Yes ma'm."
As the informant exited the room, Solf Blues looked down at her pretzels. They were probably cold by now, but she was hungry and probably should have something to eat. It would soothe her frustration, at the very least. Her teeth sunk into the salty bread, tearing off a piece and her mouth and tongue took in the flavor it had to offer. It wasn’t cold, it was room temperature. That was even worse. An equilibrium of heat and coldness was so unpleasant, because her mind couldn’t seem to make up it’s mind on whether it was more warm than cold, or vice versa. Her face twisted in disgust as she attempted to swallow the bite rather than eject it from her mouth.
“Damn...” She mumbled, the half chewed food muffling her voice. “These pretzels suck!”