What Goes Through My Mind
"Why is it so cold?!"
"Well, if you had worn a heavier jacket, you wouldn't be cold."
"...Shut up. I have cake and you don't."
Said cake was immediately slapped out of my hoof. The one thing I had to truly smile about was splattered about on the ground. I looked up at the cake murderer, when I realized who it was.
"Sigma, what the fuck?!"
Sigma Function was a friend of mine, until I said something with my lack of a verbal filter. To be fair, I could've said a lot of things that were much, much worse than what I said.
"I hate you, Mender." She said. I thought she had gotten over it. I gave her space after I said what I did.
"What in Tartarus was that for? What was the last thing I even did to you?"
"What did you say at the cemetery?"
"I thought you had gotten over it! I gave you space for a month and a half, and you're still not over it?"
Our mutual friend, Coup de Grâce, wasn't around when the cause of this argument left my mouth. It was bad enough that she was here now.
"Mender, what is she talking about?"
"Nothing that concerns you, Grâce. It's something stupid that she should have gotten over."
"Mender, tell me what she's talking about. Now."
"Grâce. The answer. Is. No. I am not telling you."
I got slapped. Again. By both Sigma and Grâce.
"Will you stop hitting me?!"
"Tell her, and apologize for saying what you did." Sigma was getting on my nerves.
"Fine! Grâce, I told her I feel no remorse for anything that I did, nor for anypony. And I will not apologize for saying it in the first place, because, guess what, I feel no remorse!"
"Does that mean you also don't feel sadness? How about regret? Happiness? How about-"
"DO YOU THINK YOU KNOW WHAT I HAVE HELD BEHIND ME FOR MY ENTIRE LIFE?! DO YOU CLAIM TO KNOW WHAT I REFUSE TO SHOW?!"
"Well, how well do you know sadness?" Sigma's voice went from anger to...sympathy? I. Hate. Her.
"Where would suicide contemplation rank, little miss psychologist?!"
And it's out in the open. All eyes were on me. I hated this attention.
"...What?" Grâce was the only one to speak.
"Yeah, I have contemplated suicide. Those thoughts have long since gone through my head. It's no worry anymore." I hate all of these ponies.
"Mender...I had no idea..." Sigma needed to shut her mouthbefore it got hit.
"I was the only one who did, Sigma! And would you stop using that tone?" Fucking sympathy.
And the area went silent. For once, complete silence. Sweet, complete silence. Even the eyes weren't on me anymore. This is what I love.
