My Little Discord: Writing is Chaos

by Espileon707

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Comedy
Length: 2388

Discord is trapped in a Binding spell with an Earth Pony writer who finds his chaos lacking. This is how they first met.

Discord was trapped in a binding spell with an earth Pony during his first time being released. This means if either of them travel to far from the other, or they break the promise they had to make to Celestia, they are dragged to Tartarus, both of them. Not the best of situations, but they are dealing with it. This is the tale of how they first met, and how Discord came to be living with this strange pony. A Pony who found his Chaos lacking, and didn't have any problems telling him so.

Set during a divergent timeline and filled with strangeness. Enjoy or not, this thing exists. More Espel and Discord shenanigans may be added in the future. Beware the language!his is rated Teen, not just for the swearing, but also for slight gore, it may get a bit worse.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-11-17 03:50:01 UTC

The Meeting

The Meeting

“Sweet Luna’s Socks! How’s this?” The Earth pony Mare asked somepony behind her, handing paper over to them. A clawed hand takes the paper as yellow and red eyes look over the character. As they read the Mare turned back to her paper, tossing her patchwork hair. She herself called her mane a patchwork, it had been bleached and dyed so often that by now it was a mess of white, yellow and faded pink, plus her roots were brown again making the whole ensemble look messy. She didn’t mind, much like she didn’t mind her tail being messy. Her coat was a faded pastel grey brown. Thinking back on it the reason she kept dyeing her mane was because of her coat color! It was bland to her, and not creatively thought provoking.

“Too Boring.” They responded.

“Oh? A straight man is needed to add some form of comedy Ditz. That way the chaos is put into perspective for the reader.”

“Catering to a boring reader pony sounds, dull.” There was a Pause. “Don’t call me Ditz, Espel.”

“Whatever Discord.” Discord rolled his eyes. Taking the shadow around him he molded it into a Balloon animal. Said Balloon animal grew a face and floated over to the Mare.

“What are you writing Espel? Another High Fantasy adventure or a sci-fi thriller?”

“A recollection of how this,” Espel gestured to the room around her, It was in disarray. Items appeared and disappeared in moments, others changed forms, and nearly everything was floating and upside down. “Came to be. You know how Her Ladyship, Princess Sunnyside-Up made me your babysitter!”

“I do believe you just insulted me!”

“And Celestia, don’t forget Celestia.” Discord laughed and wrapped himself around her. Espel tensed and leaped away with a yelp.

“Stop doing that!”

“Always with the Personal space issues! For all that Madness in your noggin you sure can be stingy!” Discord laughed as Espel scowled.

“I may have the mind of a Mad Hatter, but I still have personal boundaries, at times.” Espel walked over to the desk once again and sat down. “Now unless you want to let me relive our meeting for this, I suggest you quiet down so I can write!”

Discord scowled as the Mare went back to her writing as her desk and chair floated up and began to spin slowly. Espel paid it no mind. Discord’s scowl suddenly changed into a smirk. With a snap of his fingers the room faded away.

“Ditz! What are you doing?”

“Reliving that faithful day that we got stuck together! Now shush and enjoy the show!”

Discord over looked the chaos that was once ponyville with pride. Everypony was either cowering in fear or driven mad by his games! Oh it was quite fun to be free again! As Discord stretched and took a chunk of Cotton Candy cloud a lone Mare caught his eye. They were calmly walking towards the area that was once the park. Strange considering how everypony else was either cowering or running in fear. Smirking Discord desended to the Mare, Espel, and floated next to her.

“Things seemed to have fallen into chaos no?”

“Sweet Celestia! How do I put this? Oh yeah! I see no chaos, All I see is a child’s dreamscape!” Espel Deadpanned at the Draquonicus never once looking at him. She sighed and looked over Ponyville. Honestly why she wasn’t driven insane by this was because this was a common thing in her head. Making worlds for her writing involved breaking the laws of nature and Physics!

“Now Tell me, why you’re following me?”

“Bored.” Discord stated blandly.

“Not the reason as far as I can see!” Espel wheeled around to stare the God of Discord in the face. “This to me? This is a normal thought process when making worlds. You’re curious! I’m sane, yet I think like this? Ha! It doesn’t make sense! And that fascinates you!”

“Don’t make assumptions!”

“Assumptions? Hon I am a Writer! It’s what I do! My assumptions become facts!” Espel smiled wickedly as she walked off down the soap covered road. “Oh and if you want something truly slippery try that lubricant the hospitals use during tough births. That stuff is impossible to stand on!”

Discord could only watch as the mare walked off happily humming a nonsensical tune. The Day quickly turned to night as the God of Chaos decided to hunt down the Mare whom had dared to oppose him. She wasn’t hard to find, sitting on a turning Bench made of bubbles. In her hooves was a pencil. She was scribbling on her paper deep in thought. With certain maliciousness Discord snapped his fingers, turning the words she was writing into their surroundings.

Quite quickly Discord began to regret it a little mainly because he found it interesting. The world turned into a blank sheet of paper and a list of words appeared.

“Sky, Caves, Desert, Sea.” These words quickly melted into the ground and formed the sky, a Cave system, a desert and a sea. The Mare never looked up and continued to write.

“Out of control Floating Castle, Under Vines Labyrinth, Sea of Dragons Ice city, Desert Oasis in the cliffs.” These features soon joined the lumped land mass. The castle floated above everything, constantly spinning and swerving around the map. The Cave system gained a tag that read, Under Vines; and a labyrinth appeared within it, constantly shifting and moving about like the sands of a desert. The Sea took the name the Sea of Dragons and a city made of ice appeared in it with little floating winged Bipedals hovering near by. Finally the Desert grew spiraling cliffs with lush trees sprouting from it. Espel smirked wickedly.

“Solskin, God of Peace, Light and Life; an Evil asshole whom rules the sky. Rusak Noc; a peaceful God of Death, War, and Darkness; rules the Under Vines.” The World Shifted to add these two figures.

“Desert with cliffs, an island to the East. South on continent is the Spring Forests; always spring there. North Frozen Jungle; Physics do not work properly there. Use the Anti-Physics formulas to get proper results. Deny most of the laws that define genetics to enable the Fae to exist as well at the reality bending Crime Family.” The world shifted again, the desert separated from the main continent. Then the land masses went spiraling upwards with the Under Vines and the Sea. The Sky Spiraled down beneath the entire landmass and the sea, the Castle following suit.

“Hmm. Now what? I have the formula sheet, but how would this magic system work? AH! A scale! From absolute creation to absolute destruction! Now the middle would have the most leeway I guess being the Jack of all trades so to speak….” Espel spoke out loud, never once looking up. Soon a picture of an Earth Pony appeared with a long scale above him.

“Let’s see, slide it over to destruction and….” The scale slid over to the right as the Pony soon became covered in bandages. The areas the bandages sat on seemed to be lacking any and all muscle. They were sunken in and blood covered. “Ah, yes they hurt themselves, so slide it to Creation…”

The Scale slid and the Pony soon was buried under a pile of animals and plants.

“Ah life of all forms is attracted to you. Now… Let’s see what I can do to you, my dear character!” Over the next few minutes Discord watched as the pony went through numerous changes. His ears became further drawn out and his coat was replaced with Reptilian scales. His eyes where blinded and his mouth sewn shut. “There now how will you work in this world?”

“I believe you’ve doomed your character!” Discord spoke as the Pony dove into the world. Espel sighed and looked up from her paper. After a moment to take in the scenery she hissed at him.

“Did you drag us into my mind?”

“No. I simply made the world a screen to see your mind. Is that honestly the best you can do?” Espel smirked at the challenge.

“Oh Celestia’s Butt Beard no. This is one of the tamer worlds! This doesn’t even show my thought process well enough!” The world suddenly was erased by a large Omega Symbol, as it did so Espel stood up and walked out into the blank area with a pencil.

“Now we have a topic. Let’s say…. Folk songs! That is represented by letter A.” Espel drew a large A in the middle of the area that was slowly disintegrating back into Ponyville. Beyond Espel and Discord, Twilight and her friends stood proudly waiting to turn Discord back into stone. Only to find him in deep conversation. They waited confused by their conversation and the Mare before them.

“Pinkie?” Twilight whispered. “Who’s that Mare?”

“Oh! That’s Espel! She came all the way out here from Baltimare! She’s a writer!”

“So she is new in town?”

“Yup! She acts like everypony else. But most ponies can’t figure out what she’s thinking. Other than that she’s super nice! And she asks a lot of questions!” Twilight turned back to the two and watched.

“I need to write a letter to Celestia.” With that Twilight and her friends raced off. Back down by Espel and Discord, the mare smirked.

“Good! Now that they are gone! Let’s say someone mentions a single thing, for example a song about a fair, well. That leads to part D…” Espel drew a long line that stopped right before the ground pointing to a D. “That is more likely than not a story about a Merpony whom fell in love with an Earth pony, or Potatoes. Depends on the day. But from there we go to Sigma!”

Another line was drawn, this one heading to the left and up and pointing to a Sigma symbol.

“Here is the idea of food combinations or possibly what meat tastes like. Sometimes it’s a new voice for a character. Then it goes to-“Espel continued to show her thought process. Mapping it out on the air thanks to Discord’s magic. By then end of it Espel smiled and looked over to Discord.

“There. A completely normal train of thought for myself! Oh, I would like to say, you got the formula wrong for floating buildings, especially if they are to function!”

“Function? Why would they function? These buildings are not supposed to function properly! They are supposed to be chaotic!”

“Oh? Is that so? If this world is ruled by chaos then do your people sleep while conscious? Do the monsters under the bed and in the closet fear you?” Discord hissed at the Mare. She was so nonchalant about the madness around her, instead opting to ask questions about the world he had made. Why? It took Discord a matter of moments to answer that question. She was chaotic, yet she seemed to function in society like any other pony. Odd. Perhaps he could find some way to make her break? Discord poked the babbling mare on the forehead, fully intending to read her memories.

Instead He felt the overwhelming need to write, frustration, and a strange itching under his skin like his veins were going to burst if he didn’t write. Once out of it he heard a faint growling before him.

“What in the name of flying Fuck Monkeys was that?”

“Flying Fick Monkeys?”

“Flying. Fuck. Monkeys. Now spill.”

“Nope.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know your name.” A lame excuse but still it bought him some time.

“And I don’t know yours but you don’t see me withholding information!” Discord paused.

“I am Discord, God Of Chaos. Your turn.”

“Espel. Writer.” Espel paused before giggling.

“What?”

“You? A God of Chaos? More like an annoying little shit with too much power.”

“Don’t tempt me!”

“Oh No! I will tempt you Ditz! I want to see this!” Discord narrowed his eyes at Espel. With a snap of his fingers the entire town of Ponyville was turned into a candy wonderland. Espel yawned.

“Meh.”

“Meh?” Discord echoed.

“Meh!”

“How is this Meh?” Espel laughed.

“Oh please! Candy? It’s expected! It’s something everypony eats and loves, also it’s cliche. Now if you had turned everything here into meat, soap suds, or frozen explosions THEN I’d be impressed!” Espel picked up her pencil and papers and placed them in a saddle bag. She then walked off past Discord who was watching her a bit dumbfounded.

“I guess I won’t be seeing you around later! Have a nice life Ditz!” With that the Earth pony began to walk off and Discord found his way to his throne.

Without a doubt those Elements of Harmony would have fixed themselves and gone to find him. Yet he wasn’t thinking of that. That Mare, Espel, she saw the chaos and thought it could be improved? Did she not see any horror in what he had made? Obviously she hadn’t! Discord snapped his fingers, returning Ponyville to the nonsensical realm it was before. She also found ways to improve his chaos! Actual ways! Her mind didn’t work right yet she fit in? She was interesting to say the least, perhaps he would pay her a visit. Just to see about making another world, that was quite interesting…

The Memory dissolved leaving Espel and Discord to watch it melt into cold flames.

“You’re catching on Ditz.”

“Shut up Espel.”

“Yeah I’m basically writing that, only adding in when Celestia basically broke into my house with those Six Mares kidnapped me and dragged me to you for the so called Final Confrontation. You know the rest.” Discord groaned.

“Yes. That disgusting binding spell. You have to keep an eye on me or else we end up in Tartarus together!”

“Yeah in all honesty not the best decision the Royal Sunbather made.”

“Oh? You have plans?” Espel smirked.

“Oh Hon. I always have plans! After all!” Espel turned to a cork board and flipped it revealing elaborate lists and descriptions of pranks and other mischief. “I am a Writer. Now shall we start with this one?”

Discord took the paper and read it over once. Oh Sweet Celestia’s gonads!

“Ponyville won’t know what hit them!”