THE ONLY CHAPTER!! (the horror!)
Chater the Only One
Unanswers
Sunset. Always a calming, peaceful time. A time for rest, tranquility, and a feeling of a new day; a new start. During this specific sunset, Twilight Sparkle was readying for bed. As she went through one of her favorite checklists - second only to the recipe for her favorite double-chocolate mousse cake - Twilight's mind turned to the human that had lived in Ponyville for so long.
He had appeared on day so many years ago. Years ago? Had it really been that long? Fluttershy had found him near her house and had taken it upon herself to raise the infant. With her animals needing her care and her fostering a relationship at the time, Twilight and Rarity had almost become auxiliary mothers to him. With Rainbow being at the Academy, Applejack with her busy schedule, and Pinkie being too frightened of the little tyke, the responsibility of raising him fell to the remaining three mares.
Twilight began to smile as she remembered his first word: 'ook. His own variation of "look" became his favorite thing to say and he often took great joy in pointing out things to anypony who would care to listen. This was only the first of milestones, though, as he continued to grow and mature. His first day at school quickly came and went, where he surprised everypony with his eagerness to learn and he was allowed to skip entire grades due to his quick understanding and retention of knowledge.
Twilight's smile faltered as she remember his first date. The awkward teen had been asked to a dance by one of his classmates, to which he accepted. He had come back that night, explaining he had to take a walk afterwards. He said he that something felt off, that he had never felt so alone.
That was the turning point. The Age of Understanding, they called it; the age he began to question things, the age he began to ponder, the age he began to think for himself. Most would think that this is good, but not so. He dropped out of school, claiming he wanted no more spoon-fed knowledge. He grew distant from his childhood friends; he stopped playing outside, stopped going to parties, and stopped going to his own birthday parties. It was heat breaking to see a child, so full of life and potential began to burn the bridges and roads that others had helped him build.
He began coming to Twilight for books, lots of books. All of the books he borrowed had made Twilight confused. Instead of history, scientific, and mathematical books, he only borrowed the one kind of book she had refused to read: philosophy. Twilight had avoided those books as if they contained the pony-pox. Even the though the library had them on catalogue, nopony had ever read them and Twilight ignored them, claiming that they were the idiotic rambling of deadbeat ponies. He began to go on camping trips into the Everfree, alone. He would disappear , leaving only notes, for days. He grew distant, even to Fluttershy.
He began to ask questions around town. Question that nopony had the answer to, question that nopony had ever thought of, questions that nopony had even thought to register as questions. He was quickly labeled crazy; mothers steered their foals away from him, people began to laugh at him. When confronted by the ponies calling him insane, his only answer was "Most likely."
They took him away after that. He was shipped to a Mental Institution near Trottingham, by the orders of the government. It nearly broke Fluttershy to see him sent off in that padded cart. He never protested, never fought, he only sat there silently. When questioned by therapists, he said he was thinking. Thinking. That's all he ever did.
He was released after a year, the doctors found nothing wrong with him, only that he was rather existential. Not long after returning, he had built a house across town from Fluttershy's cottage. Calling what he had built "a house" was being too generous, even for Rarity. It was shack. "But a shack with a bed!", he would always reply. When asked why he didn't hire someone to built it or buy a house, he would always say that he needed to do it himself, to remind himself. He never specified what he needed reminding of, though.
Twilight shook her head, breaking free of her reminisces. She made her way to her way down the hall in her housetree to her bedroom. As she entered her room, she gazed at the basket where Spike used to sleep. He had really grown in the last few years, his growth spurt finally kicking in naturally. He was now almost as tall as Luna. A few months ago, Spike had decided to join the Royal Guard and was currently at the Academy, partly to impress Rarity. She gently shook her head. She missed him.
Climbing into bed, she glanced out her window and stopped. On the small hill outside the small town of Ponyville, a figure could be seen gazing off into the sky. Twilight immediately stopped and walked out of her room, intent on catching him before he could leave. She near galloped out of her house and across the short meadow to the hill.
Panting slightly, Twilight climb the short but steep hill and laid down next to the human. His only response was a slight hum to acknowledge her presence. They sat there in silence, letting the dark blues and purple of Luna's night wash over their eyes.
The human was the first to break the silence. "Twilight, do you believe in a god?"
Twilight froze. She had never thought about this. Gryphons had their religions, the Minotaurs had a separate set of deities, put ponies weren't keen on religion. "I guess I've always thought of Celestia and Luna as our gods. They're here and they sure fit the criteria. Why do you ask, Leo?"
Leo stretched, placing his hands behind his head. After a second of silence, he added, "Twilight, what are cutie marks?"
Twilight was confused. Everyone knew what cutie marks were. "Well, they're marks that appear on a pony's flanks when they learn what they're good at."
Leo pressed forward in his questions. "You told me a story once, of how you became an Alicorn. In the story, you said that you used an incomplete spell to change the destinies of your friends. This changed their cutie marks, correct?"
Twilight nodded, unsure of where this was going. Leo continued, "If cutie marks are what you are good at, then why would changing one's destiny change what your good at? Pinkie is good at baking, but that's not her 'destiny'. Obviously there isn't a direct relationship. A pony can ignore their cutie mark and do whatever they want, so it isn't a set-in-stone thing. So, what are they? I've been trying to figure this out since the day that Fluttershy's daughter got her cutie mark for dancing. It made no sense, usually, a family has similar cutie marks. It can't be what one's talent is, Lily couldn't dance to save her life when she started. She only got good through practicing and sheer bull-headedness.
So, they can't be your destiny because you can deviate from them, they can't be your talent because someponies get theirs in things they're bad at but try had for, they aren't what your good at because of our dear friend Pinkie's example, they aren't hereditary. What are they? My most recent theory is that they are what define you. A reflection of how you see yourself. Pinkie likes to make ponies happy, so she sees herself as somepony who makes others happy, hence her cutie mark. You define yourself as somepony good at magic, ergo your cutie mark is about magic. Families have similar cutie marks because ponies are attracted to another pony who sees themselves similarly, and the influence of the parent's way of thinking causes the foal to see themselves a certain way. I think this one is pretty solid. It seems more sensible than my last one."
Twilight stared at him. "Are you asking me questions or are you asking yourself questions?"
Leo shrugged, his movement causing the grass beneath to make rough noises. "A little of both, I think. I want to understand this, but I need to talk to someone about this. We know what happened that last time aI tried asking ponies questions."
They sat there for another minute in silence, listening to an occasional howl of a timberwolf followed by Granny Smith's hooping and hollering.
"Twilight, do you think that Celestia and Luna control your life? That they make everypony's destinies?"
Twilight scoffed. "No, that's just silly. They can't do that."
"Then what chooses your destiny. What molds your life? Do we have a choice of paths before us? Do we stand in a field and blaze our own trails?"
Twilight stayed silent this time, unsure if she should say anything. Unsure if she could say anything.
"You said you see Celestia and Luna as gods. What about Cadance? How about you? Does being an Alicorn make you feel like you have ascended into godhood?"
Again. Silence.
"It just makes me so angry. So many questions. No answers. What 'answers' there are are actually another question phrased oddly. Why am I here? Why do I exist? Why do I exist here? On a planet, maybe even a plane reality, where I am the only of kind and it is literally impossible for me to have born without parents of my own species? Where are my parents? My world, civilization, culture? Are my people war-like? Scientific? Is it a culture devoted to some fertility god? It could be anything, and I'll never know."
Twilight stood up suddenly. "Just because we don't know where you came from doesn't mean you don't have a family! Fluttershy may not be your mother, but she is certainly your mom! "
Leo propped himself up on his elbows. "I'm not trying to downplay her role our hard work in my life, but...it feels like I'm missing something. Something huge. That I'm incomplete. That I'm alone but drowning in a sea of ponies."
Leo shook his head. "Sorry, I didn't mean to irk you. I'll just go home. Alone." He added in a whisper, "like always."
With that, he walked off across the field to his little hut, leaving Twilight to stare from hill. She sighed. It hurt. It hurt to see him like this. To see him always like this. His confusing questions, his even more confusing answers. His strange ramblings that no one could follow. It all drove a wedge between him and other ponies.
Twilight gave another defeated sigh, turned, and began the slow walk back to her house.
Author's Note
Woo! Posting before second thoughts. I should be writing an essay for english. Wrote ponies instead.
Yeah procrastination!
