The Conversion Bureau: Don't Breathe In
The Conversion Bureau: Don't Breath
I was sprawled horizontally on the couch in the most cartoon-ish of lazy fashions. My left leg hung by the skirt while my right sank into cushion trying to chase after a warm pocket. My hand rested into an open pizza box on the floor with a couple browning slices still it. I didn't even care. I continued to flip through channels trying to find something just mindless enough to fall asleep to.
As the channel count rose, I had to pass the 30's. These were the news channels and I usually tried to to avoid them. However it was late on a Friday night and very occasionally the channels would put on a movie or a stand-up comic. But as I clicked through the channels, I knew it was just more of the same shit.
"PER claim 6,300 more in recent nationwide conversion effort."
Click
"-Gas levels are still not dissipating and remaining citizens are left wondering, why?" Click
"Mask filter prices rise to an all time high at-"
Click
I sighed before skipping the rest of the channels. I had done it again. I hated watching the news, but every time it was on I paused only for a few seconds to hear whatever was being said. It was caused by some false hope that one day I'd hear some good news. I had already been three years since the first cities were hit and I should have known better.
Finally I had found the show I was looking for. It was some program discussing the expansive history of Equestria. The pony who narrated had a deep and monotonous voice, perfect for getting to sleep. A quick check of the guide showed the program lasted another hour and a half. I was in Heaven. "Sometime things just work out." I thought to myself content. I tossed the remote on the floor and and pulled my other hand up from the pizza box and rested both on my chest. I closed my eyes and knew I was only a few minutes from sleep.
That's how my night could have gone. I could have fallen asleep, woken up the next morning and continued to stay in the couch watching T.V. until hunger commanded me to migrate to the refrigerator.
But that is not what happened.
Instead, a little over a minute after closing my eyes, I could hear cluttering noises behind me. It was my roommate, Lucas. It was odd to see him so active this late, so I decided to ask him about it.
"Where are you going?" I said as I leaned up from the couch.
"To the store." He said frustrated. He was by the door trying to put on one of his shoes with the laces still tied. "We need some more food." He said once he'd finally got it on.
"This late?" I asked amazed. "Are you out of your mind?"
"No I'm just hungry and we don't have shit to eat. If you're so worried then just come with me, dude."
"No thanks." I said laying back down.
Luke thought for moment before pushing the couch in the back to tip me out of it.
"Actually, It would be better if you came with." He said. "We'd get more and get it done quicker."
"Fine." I said after a moment. I didn't know that this answer would affect my life.
I scrambled to my feet and brushed off the nasty pizza he had tipped me in. I rushed over to the door and started to put on my shoes. I slept in my regular clothes so I was able to save time there. When I had my shoes on, there was just one thing I needed.
Luke handed me my black gas mask from the table by the exit. He already had his on and once I'd taken mine, he was already out the door. I slipped the mask over my face and tightened the straps on the back of my head so it fit snuggly. I didn't want to have any accidental mask slips like I'd heard about in some news clips.
Before I shut the door, I took another look at our apartment. Only when I was about to leave did I ever remember how nice it was. 3500 sq. feet and two extra bedrooms if we ever had people over. We had gotten it for a steal too. The building owner practically handed it over to us... well once we had given him $4000 each, but still, not bad. That was the benefit of buying in the infected cities.
I followed Luke down the hallway to the elevator where a guy had just stepped out.
He was in the process of untightening his own mask when Luke asked, "How was it out there?"
"I didn't have any trouble, but its really late, so whatever you guys do, I'd do it quick."
We thanked him for the advice and pushed the button to take us to the lobby. We moved quickly across the wood floor to the Decon chamber. Years ago most building had decided to spray down anyone entering or exiting. We stepped inside the all white small room, positioned our legs shoulder width apart and held our arms directly out. Seconds later the jets hit us with a light mist. After half a minute we were cleared and the wall on the opposite door opened to the streets of the night.
*****
For whatever reason, as we ran to the store seven blocks away, my mind brought me back 12 years to just after my 10th birthday. I remembered our cousins were staying with us because their home on the east coast had been destroyed by the tsunamis.
I remember the hardships faced around the world that year. Some countries saw water more than six miles inland. Millions died from the waves and hundreds of thousands in the months to come from starvation, diseases and other unpleasantries. It was worse than anyone could have thought, but after all, a land mass the size of New Jersey rising rapidly from the deep ocean displaces a lot of water.
"Come on." Luke whispered back to me. While in my thoughts, I had fallen behind and Luke had good reason to be concerned. Three letters had been spray painted onto a building were passing. 'PER'. The red letters stuck out on the buildings face and we knew we were in trouble.
Ponification for Earth's Rebirth had graduated from a radical ponification advocacy group to international terrorists four years ago when they detonated bombs in the major cities of the U.S., Europe, Asia and Australia. The bombs released a gas which they used to ponify most of the humans in these cities. We still lived in one and that's what the Gas masks were for.
The levels of the gas had hardly receded over, much to the confusion of all. However people adapted, gas masks and their filters were distributed and traded, buildings like ours were sealed in and decontamination chambers were installed.
Equestria's leadership, which was comprised of four, supposedly powerful, princesses, vowed that they would fight with us humans against the PER. But they weren't doing the best job, no one was, so we were pretty much on our own.
The letters across the building hadn't been here last week when I'd last ran to the store. I, like many others, had heard rumors that some PER groups were moving into the city, but I hadn't thought it'd be this quick. If Luke and I had thought logically, we'd have ran straight back to our building and fortified our floor.
But we didn't. Maybe because we were already more than half way there or maybe it was that we thought we could dodge the ponification bullet one more time.
Luke kicked open the door to the convenience store and ran inside. He immediately grabbed a basket and I started sliding random food items off the shelves into it. Chips, crackers, candy bars, sodas, the usual shit all made it in. Once the basket was full enough, we slammed it down on the counter. However, the unicorn pony at the front seem intent on slowing us down.
She ran one, maybe two items over the scanner every ten seconds. Luke paced around impatiently near the door while I tapped my foot quickly.
"Fuckin' hell." He muttered to me.
She must have heard it because she glared at me for a moment before scanning another item. "You guys are out late." She stated. Her name tag read 'Rachel/ Rosie Hearts'.
"Yep, just trying to get back home." Luke said quickly.
"Whats the rush?" She said, sounding disinterested.
"We're just a little on edge." Luke said as he looked to the employee and examined her. "How long have been working for Mr. Yadav?"
She stopped and looked up at him with the most forced of all smiles. "He hired me on the spot last Saturday."
Luke glanced to me. I knew he thought she was weird, but at this point we just wanted to go home.
"Here you go. $45.67 please." She said after she had finally finished. Luke tossed her three $20's and grabbed his bags and ran out the door, forgetting his change and receipt. I snatched the rest of the bags before following through the ope door and chasing after Luke.
"Enjoy your night!" She called after us as the door closed.
We ran as fast as we could back to our building, no longer trying to be stealthy. There was no way we could have been anyway. The plastic bags made far too much noise in the quiet night. We made it pass one block, two blocks, three, four, five, six. With a block from home, I thought we were going to make it.
But suddenly Luke stopped in his track and dove behind a car parked on the curb. He called me over and I joined him.
"Did you hear that?" Luke asked.
"No what was it?"
"I...I don't know, I just heard something."
"Well... lets just wait behind hear for minute if you're sure you heard something." I said and he nodded.
As we waited and waited I could hear nothing. I was about to punch Luke for getting me on edge, especially when we were so close to the apartment, but then I felt something on the back of my head. I swung my already formed fist behind me and hit a bunch of air. There was nothing behind me, but I still felt it.
Then I realized that it was my mask's straps. My hands quickly clasped the back of my mask.
"Fuck!" Luke shouted, looking at the back of my head. "It's a unicorn!" I was screwed. Unicorn magic couldn't harm me, but it could manipulate my mask easily.
Luke dropped his bag and stood up. "Show yourself! " He shouted as he stepped into the middle of the street. Moments later four ponies were in front of him. Two unicorns, one with his horn lit up, the one who was trying to take control of my mask, an earth pony and pegasus. Luke grabbed his straps tight with one hand and pulled put a seven inch combat blade with the other.
Meanwhile, I fell to the ground. There was a female green unicorn who stared hard at me with a disturbingly warm and welcoming smile. I pulled my hardest to keep my mask on my face, but I could her pull on the straps getting stronger and stronger. She was pretty powerful and could've ripped the entire thing off my face right then, but I had the feeling she wanted to have some fun with it first.
"Hello there!" The pegasus said sweetly.
"Let him go! Let my friend go now!" He yelled, pointing the black knife back and forth between each of them.
The ponies frowned to each other. "Look friend, we don't want to hurt you guys." The green unicorn said. "We want to help you. We're with PER, maybe you've heard of us?"
"Yeah, we've heard of you guys." Luke said. "I really don't want to hurt you guys either, but if you don't let him go I amgoing to. Now let us leave."
The earth pony sighed. "Why does this always happen?" He asked the pegasus, but Luke answered.
"Because you're fucking misguided, crazy terrorists!"
I admired his courage, but over on the side walk I was fighting a losing battle. The green unicorn was still smiling, but now she was mouthing "Let go... just let go." over and over and over again. I was sacred. I didn't want to convert, at least not now, not this way. Things had gone to hell in less than 20 minutes. I shouldn't have even came.
"Luke." I called. My hands were getting rope burns from the tug-of-war and I knew I couldn't keep it up any longer.
"Shit." He said as he turned towards me. "Hold on!" But suddenly his knife lit with a red light and twisted it out of his hand. He looked to the other unicorn and saw that it wasn't from him.
His mask then lit up and was immediately dismantled piece by piece. The sudden removal of his mask caused him to gasp. He had breathed in the gas. He dropped to the asphalt as the changes began. A red unicorn pony stepped from behind him. It was Rosie Hearts.
"This has taken too long." She said as impatient as we had been. "Stop playing with him, Evergreen."
"Aw. Alright. " The green one said. At this point I took my last big breath of air in. She pulled my mask off my face with ease and crushed it. Thinking their work was done, the five began walking away just like that, like they hadn't just changed two lives. I stood to my feet. I could see my building. Unfortunately, the earth pony saw me stand too.
"Umm he's still up." He said.
"Leave him." Rosie said with out turning. "Either he passes out and turns or he decides to do it the easy way." The earth pony shrugged and followed his group down another street.
My building was a block away. One block. I wasn't going to take the easy way. They'd have to earn this conversion. I starting running, even though my head was filled with more doubt than oxygen.
Would I actually make it to my apartment?"
How long would it be before I couldn't take it anymore and had to breathe in? I thought to myself
How long could I hold my breath?"
