Chaos Ball™ (or, How Twilight Learned To Quit Worrying And Roll The Marble)

by Razalon The Lizardman

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Twilight Sparkle, Random, Discord, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 7693

It's Princess Twilight vs Discord in the greatest game to never be sold on store shelves because of, but not limited to: loss of sanity, rage quitting, and LOTS of statue abuse.

On one of her rare (very much so) days off from royal duties, Princess Twilight just wants a little time to herself without having to resolve any crazy shenanigans of her subjects (magic, science, magical science, and the always informative sex-ed). Of course, such a blessing is mere wishful thinking in Ponyville.

Discord drops by looking to show the lavender alicorn his newest invention; Chaos Ball, a game for the whole family which combines all the greatness of bowling, chess, and dodgeball (hail the almighty bag of randomness). She doesn't want to play, of course, but the spirit of chaos has ways (many involving five-eyed, mini-skirt wearing, winged lizard/squirrel hybrids) of getting ponies to do what he wants.

Can Princess Twilight beat the draconequus at his own game, or will she suffer permanent psychological damage from playing?

Survey: "She's screwed."

Published 2013-12-26 21:10:05 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-23 01:21:45 UTC

Game On!

Such a perfect day in Ponyville it was. The sky was clear, ponies were happy, and absolutely no world-ending catastrophes were set to happen that day. For once, the simply named rural town could enjoy itself without worry, in particular the lavender princess whom resided in the tree library. With no royal duties needing attention or mass panics to be quelled, Princess Twilight could enjoy the day all to herself. And she planned on taking full advantage of this fact.

Currently, she was in a field just outside of Ponyville, laying on a blanket while reading Celestia's diary from a thousand and one years ago. The ancient journal heralded many secrets, and Twilight was eager to uncover them all.

Fascinating; I never would've guessed Name Swap was around back then. That must be why Celestia officially recognized the name Nightmare Moon in that flashback; Luna legally changed her name on the spot. But to think it was restricted to upper class ponies back then . . . wow, so much more than I thought has changed in the last millennium. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! What else does this thing have to say?

Twilight continued reading well into the day, completely ignorant of her surroundings. By the time Celestia's sun was midway through the sky, Twilight had poured over almost one third of the diary's entries. Deciding she'd read enough, Twilight packed away the diary in her saddlebag and pulled out a checklist of things she planned to do on her day off from royal duties. She crossed off "Read Celestia's diary", and looked down to the next item listed. Before she could read it to herself, however, she caught sight of a flicker of movement out of the corner of her eye. She quickly whipped her head around, eyes wide with alarm and horn charging with magic, but nothing was there.

I must be seeing things, she mused internally.

Shrugging, Twilight looked down at the checklist again, nodded to herself at what was listed next, and turned to return it to her saddlebag.

"Ooh, such a delightful read this is!"

"AAAH!" Twilight started, dropping the checklist and falling flat on her rump.

There, lying on his own blanket and reading Celestia's diary, was Discord. The reformed spirit of chaos was wearing typical tourist apparel; a straw hat, floral clothes, and comically oversized sunglasses. On the ground next to him was a coconut with a crazy straw sticking out of it. He took ahold of the coconut and sipped on the straw. The coconut milk proceeded to break through the plastic and bypass all the loops and twists before breaking through it again at the end and entering his mouth. Setting the coconut back down, he turned to Twilight.

"Tell me," he said, "what does Tia think of you snooping through her once personal diary?"

Twilight took a few moments to reel back from the shock of seeing Discord appear out of nowhere. She took a few heavy breaths, trying to calm herself lest she have a heart attack. Eventually, she managed to calm her nerves and reply to him.

"What are you doing here?"

Discord frowned. "Can't a spirit of chaos drop by and say hello to the adorkable, lavender, alicorn princess everypony knows and loves?" His lip began quivering. "Are we not friends, Twilight?" Tears began rolling down his cheeks.

Twilight rolled her eyes. "I haven't gotten to the part where I berate you for sneaking up on me, Discord, so your faux hurting is coming too early."

"But you were going to do so, weren't you?" Discord's tears began forming puddles on the ground, which froze into grape slushie soon after contact. "I thought our troubled history was all water under the bridge." More lip quivering. "Was I wrong in assuming such a thing?"

Twilight rolled her eyes again. "Discord, if there's one thing you'll never do under Celestia's sun, it's drop by just to say hello."

"I guess everyone does know that by now," Discord replied, all trace of his faux hurting completely gone.

"Yes, they do," Twilight stated matter-of-factly. "Anyway, don't you know better than to sneak up on ponies?

Discord frowned. "Can't a spirit of chaos drop by and say hel-"

"DISCORD!!!"

"Alright, alright, I'll tell you why I'm here, Princess No-Fun," Discord replied, mumbling the last part to which Twilight rolled her eyes a third time. "I've come to introduce you to a new game of my creation."

Twilight quirked a curious brow. "A game?"

"Yes, Twilight, you heard me correctly." Discord snapped his talon to which a doctor's stethoscope appeared in his paw. "Perhaps you should get your ears examined if you're hard of hearing, princess."

A fourth eye roll. "I think I'll pass, both on your suggestion and on your game." She levitated the diary back into her saddlebag, slung it over her shoulder, and picked up the checklist. "Goodbye, Discord."

Twilight began heading in Ponyville's direction. She hadn't made it more than five steps, however, when her hooves got stuck in some sticky substance on the ground which halted her advance. Glancing down, she saw that she'd stepped in what looked like caramel quicksand, if the sweet smell was any indication as to what it was. She tried lifting her hoof out, but the stuff was too strong and it kept her firmly secured where she stood.

"Not. Funny. Discord," Twilight grumbled.

The draconequus lazily floated around in front of her, holding his best attempt at an innocent smile. Twilight was unfazed, however, and tried to use her magic to free herself. But to her frustration, the more magic she charged into her horn the deeper she sank into the caramel.

"You know," Discord said, "you could avoid all this if you agreed to play with me."

Twilight glared daggers at the draconequus. "This is MY day off, okay. I'd like to spend it in peace and by myself."

"Oh, come now, Twilight Sparkle." Discord reached over and patted Twilight on the head, to which she shook furiously to bat him away. "I ensure you'll find my game fun rather than excruciatingly painful to your sanity. Just give me a chance to prove it."

Twilight held her scowl while flapping her wings in a futile attempt to fly out of the sticky trap. She kept flapping until she'd exhausted herself, to which she fell barrel down into the caramel and got herself even more stuck. Finally, with a sigh, she gave up.

"Fine," she grumbled, "I'll play your stupid game."

"Excellent!" Discord exclaimed. He snapped his talon, to which Twilight was immediately freed from the caramel. "Just give me a second to set everything up."

One second later . . .

Twilight stared in confusion at the setup before her. With just one more snap of his talon, Discord had brought into existence what looked like a cross between two bowling alley lanes and a couple of chessboards. Both lanes had a black and white checkered pattern at opposing ends which were two meters wide by one meter long, while each lane was fifteen meters long as a whole. Next to each lane was a square, concrete hole in the ground about half as big as the checkered areas. If one were to look down into either hole, they'd see the bottom was covered from end to end with a hoof thick layer of sand.

"So, what do you think?" Discord asked the perplexed mare.

Twilight gave the entire setup a final look over before responding. "What kind of game is this supposed to be?"

Discord disappeared in a flash, reappearing a moment later wearing a hoofball jersey with x_x emblazoned on the back next to Twilight. "Chaos Ball, my dear princess." Another flash and Discord was hovering above the playing lanes. "The perfect stress reliever for an overworked princess of Equestria such as yourself that isn't NSFW."

Twilight blinked. "What?"

"That's how I pitched it when trying to get Celestia's approval to introduce it to the mass market," Discord said, looking up in remembrance and smiling. "The look on her face was so priceless; I wish I'd had a camera at the time."

"Whaaaaaat?"

Discord furrowed his brows and sighed. "You ponies want me to use my chaos magic for good, right? Well, that's what I'm doing with this." He gestured to the playing lanes below him.

"Well . . ." Twilight looked at the setup, trying to decipher any sort of hostility from its design. When she failed to see any, she glanced back up to Discord. "Is it safe?"

Discord smiled innocently. "Since when has my chaos ever caused any of you ponies physical harm?"

"Well, there was that one ti-"

"GREAT!" Discord snapped his talon, which transported Twilight in front of one of the lanes. He flew down and landed in front of the opposite lane. "Let the game begin!"

Twilight sighed in exasperation and looked across the field to him. "So, how does one play Chaos Ball?" she asked, fear lacing her words.

"It's quite simple, really," Discord replied. He pointed at the checkered area of his lane. "This is called the Impact Zone," he then pointed at the rest of his lane, "while the rest is called the Alley." He snapped his talon, causing a meter high, gray stone block to appear in his Impact Zone. "This is what's called a Minion. Actual Minions are more lively, but this'll serve as a suitable example for this rundown of the gameplay." Another snap of his talon caused a black & red ball about half the stone's height to appear at Twilight's hooves.

Twilight levitated the enormous ball in front of her for examination. Getting a feel for it, she found it to be very similar to a bowling ball texture-wise but was clearly too big to work as one.

"That's what's called the Marble," Discord continued, regaining Twilight's attention. "It acts similar to a bowling ball in that it's used to knock down each player's Minions like pins. Go ahead," he pointed at his Minion, "give it a roll."

Twilight looked at Discord's Minion, then back to the Marble in her telekinesis before setting it onto Discord's Alley. Calling on the earth pony strength she received through ascension, Twilight bucked the Marble with her hind legs down the Alley toward the Minion. The Marble plowed into the stone block, sending it flying up in the air before landing back onto the grass next to the Alley.

The Marble continued its speedy course down the Alley and would've rolled way out into the field had Discord not snapped his talon which summoned a funnel-shaped hole in the ground. The ball traveled down the hole, spiraling around the wall until it eventually fell through the bottom. Discord snapped his talon again, summoning a giant bowling ball return right next to him. After a couple moments of rumbling sounds emanating from inside the machine, the Marble popped out. Discord picked it up and pointed to the concrete hole in the ground next to his Alley.

"That is called the Junkyard, which is where fallen Minions go." He snapped his talon, which caused his junkyard to shift across the ground until it was directly underneath his fallen faux Minion. The gray stone block fell down into the hole where it hit the sandy bottom with a soft thud. Then the Junkyard returned to its original spot.

"Whichever player takes out all of the other's Minions first wins," Discord continued, smiling wryly. "What'd you think? Was it fun?"

"Well," Twilight said, rubbing the back of her head sheepishly, "it seems a little too . . ."

Discord raised an inquisitive brow. "Too what?"

". . . violent."

. . .

. . .

. . .

". . . Seriously?"

"You said it yourself; real Minions are lively. Who'd want to play a game where the objective is to strike down innocent . . . statues . . . ?"

Discord suppressed a chortle as Twilight groaned and facehoofed. "I can't believe I just said that."

"Oh, you did," Discord replied, having composed himself. "And to answer your question, I did say it's meant to be a fun way to relieve stress."

Twilight scowled. "I don't need your, or this game's, help for that."

The malicious grin that spread across Discord's face unnerved Twilight, more so than anything else he'd done during their encounter thus far. It was the same grin of an older sibling bearing witness to their younger sibling stealing from the cookie jar and knowing they had the perfect piece of blackmail as a result. It frightened Twilight, quite frankly.

"But you still rolled the Marble, didn't you?" Discord asked, smirking with delight.

"Y-Yes," Twilight stuttered. "So what if I did?"

"Well, you rolled it knowing real Minions are lively." He inspected his paw disinterestedly. "Tell me, what did you envision the Minion as being when you rolled the Marble?"

". . . Pardon?"

Discord sighed. "I knew you'd never willingly attack something that looked innocent, so I used a featureless stone block as the faux Minion. With it, you could project the image of something you'd want to strike down as an incentive to attack." He looked to her. "What I'm asking you is, what was that projection of?"

"You."

Twilight let the word slip through her mouth, but immediately regretted it as she feared what Discord would do to her in retaliation for such an admittance. The draconequus stared at her blankly for a few seconds before, to Twilight's shocked relief, snickering.

"Of course it'd be me." He snapped his talon which summoned another stone block onto his Impact Zone. Unlike the last one which was featureless, this block was shaped to look like Discord the first time he'd been encased in stone. Discord looked to his stone doppelganger and spoke. "Let's show this purple pony princess how age triumphs over beauty, shall we?"

The Minion turned around and winked at its master before resettling its gaze onto Twilight with a vicious scowl that actually sent a shiver down her spine.

"Now then, time to select our Minions." Discord gestured to his stone doppelganger. "We each get ten of the other's choosing, and they can be of anything we want. Since you've already declared your desire to inflict harm upon my oh-so pretty face, you may choose nine more Minions for myself." He gave a wry smile. "So what'll it be, princess?"

Twilight put a hoof to her chin in thought. If she was going to be forced to play Chaos Ball, she should at least make the most of it and take out her stress on things that irked her to no end. After a minute of finalizing her choices, she looked to Discord and replied.

"Here are my choices; a mound of Day Court requests, a lopsided stack of books, a cockatrice, a changeling, Queen Chrysalis, King Sombra, Trixie Lulamoon, Garble, and Pinkie Pie."

Discord blinked. "I get the first nine, but why Pinkie Pie?" he asked. "She's your friend."

"She is, but I still know nothing about how her Pinkie Sense works and it drives me up the wall." She sheepishly rubbed the back of her head. "Could you keep that a secret, please?"

Discord stared blankly for a second before shrugging and nodding his head in agreement. With nine more snaps of his talon, all of Twilight's choices for his Minion army appeared in his Impact Zone. The Minions of Chrysalis, Sombra, Trixie, and Garble joined the Minion Discord in glaring daggers at their opponent. In contrast, the Minion Pinkie Pie waved her hoof and smiled brightly at Twilight, who lightly waved back with her own, nervous, smile. The paper mound and book stack, however, just stood there, not moving in the slightest. Just the sight of so many Day Court requests, statue or not, made Twilight's eye twitch in irritation, made worse by sight of the misaligned stack of precious rectangular prisms of knowledge next to it.

"Now it's my turn to choose your own Minions," Discord said. In rapid succession he snapped his talon ten times, each one producing a Minion for Twilight's Impact Zone. "I think you'll be satisfied with my choices."

Twilight forced her gaze away from the front line of Discord's Minion army and looked to see what hers would be. She quickly identified several of them as ponies she either knew and loved or idolized. There were Minions of Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, Shining Armor, Princess Cadence, Rainbow Dash, Starswirl the Bearded, Clover the Clever, a neatly stacked pile of books, a grandfather clock and, to Twilight's confusion, what looked like a five-eyed, mini-skirt wearing, winged lizard/squirrel hybrid.

"I call that last one Mark," Discord said. He primed the ball in his paw, taking careful aim so as to not waste his turn.

Twilight sighed and turned once again to her assembled Minions. Discord may have forced her to play Chaos Ball, but getting all riled up over it wouldn't help anyone. Indeed, it'd be better for her to try and enjoy his game instead of complaining about it. Twilight wasn't one to pass down an opportunity to try new things anymore; Nightmare Moon's return saw to that, and Twilight had plenty of great friends as a result. Great friends she'd do anything for and always seek to protect should danger befall them. In fact, even though they weren't her friends per se, having constructs of several of them with her gave the lavender alicorn a warm, uplifting feeling that she fully believed would aid her in the coming bat-

*SMASH*

Twilight watched, spellbound, as the Marble plowed straight into her Minion of the neat book stack. The poor thing flew into the air, spinning around a few times, before landing back onto the Impact Zone with a hard smack. The Marble continued sailing along the ground until it came to rest a couple dozen meters away from Twilight's Alley.

"Score one for me," Discord stated, voice full of pride. With a snap of his talon, he moved her Junkyard underneath the fallen Minion, where it fell unceremoniously to the sandy bottom with a soft thud, before returning to its designated spot. Discord then turned to Twilight, smirking heavily. "Your move."

Twilight said nothing in response; she merely stood there, staring where her Minion used to be, mouth agape in shock. Discord frowned. "Uh, Sparkplug, are you alright?"

Suddenly, a magenta aura surrounded the Marble, and it floated over to the lavender princess. She turned to face Discord, who cringed at the fiery gaze she gave him.

"Uh, Twilight," Discord gulped, "want me to put out that fire?"

Twilight responded with naught but three words that would've made a certain alabaster unicorn proud.

"IT. IS. ON."

A Battle for the Ages.

Twilight shot the Marble down Discord's Alley in her fit of rage at having lost such a precious Minion. The ball barreled toward Discord's Impact Zone in a red and black blur that sounded like a continuous boom of thunder. It just barely scraped the edge of Discord's own, lopsided Bookstack Minion as it thundered onwards into the ground funnel Discord had set up to catch it. The Minion swayed and lurched a bit before falling over onto its side with a hard thud.

"Not bad for a beginner," Discord mused while his Junkyard shifted to under the fallen Minion to claim it. "However, it will take a lot more precision to win this, Sparkplug."

Twilight smirked. "You're just nervous because I've proven myself adept to Chaos Ball so quickly."

The ball return spat out the Marble just then. Discord picked it up and smirked himself. "Oh, am I?" he asked coyly.

Before Twilight could answer, Discord shot the Marble down her own Alley with twice the force she'd given her own shot. The ball collided with the Minions of both Princess Cadence and Clover the Clever, sending them flying through the air with panicked expressions until they landed hard onto the ground. Twilight just looked on in shock while the Starswirl the Bearded and Shining Armor Minions watched with sorrowful expressions as their student and wife, respectively, waved goodbye with tear filled eyes as Twilight's Junkyard claimed them both. The two male Minions turned to Discord with hate-filled scowls to which the draconequus deadpanned.

"Don't look at me like that, you two," he said. "You'll get to see them in a minute or two, after all."

The Minions retained their faces for a moment before huffing and going neutral. Twilight, meanwhile, had retrieved the Marble from across the field and was now trying to figure out how to get even with Discord. Gazing at the Discord Minion, and the smug expression it adorned, Twilight decided she'd get even by taking it out.

"You're going down, Discord!" Twilight shouted as she prepped the Marble. "Even if it isn't you, per se."

Discord said nothing as Twilight rolled the Marble down his Alley. It headed towards the Discord Minion and for a moment it seemed like it would topple. To Twilight's dismay, however, the Marble merely nicked the Discord Minion without moving it whatsoever. The Discord Minion, as well as its compatriots (minus the Pinkie Pie and Day Court Requests) began laughing and pointing at Twilight for her failed attempt, though no sound came from their mouths.

"I'm sorry, Twilight," Discord said, casually cracking his neck to loosen some joints. "Was I supposed to be impressed by that?"

Twilight balled her hoof and slammed it to the ground in frustration. "Just take your turn," she replied.

"Oh, I will." Discord retrieved the Marble from the ball return. "Just a little advice, princess; never let your emotions blind you to logic."

Twilight slightly gawked in response. "Since when do you adhere to logic?"

"There's a difference between something that's illogical and something that's chaotic, Sparkplug." Discord began prepping the Marble. "But that's a lesson for another time; we've got a game to play!" He swung his arm back, and then forward while releasing the Marble like a bowling ball. It thundered down Twilight's Alley at high speeds until it collided with the Princess Celestia Minion.

For a split second, Twilight was scared to lose yet another Minion so soon, but then she realized the Celestia Minion hadn't toppled over. Rather, it had been hit in such a way that it was turned to face sideways instead of straight at Discord. The expression on her face was one of relief, then she looked to Twilight and winked.

The lavender princess stared slack-jawed before recomposing herself and smirking at Discord. "It seems this Minion replica of Celestia is just as strong as the real thing; thanks for giving her to me, Discord."

Discord huffed in response and crossed his arms. "Don't get too excited, Sparkplug; one more good hit and she's down for the count."

Twilight's smirk changed to a confident smile. "Even if Celestia falls here, here spirit will live on and assure me victory."

"Whatever, just take your turn," Discord said nonchalantly.

Twilight picked up the Marble with her magic and began plotting her next target. As much as she wanted to topple him, the Discord Minion wasn't a smart choice to target due to its small base area. To that end, Twilight set her sights on toppling the two largest of Discord's Minions; King Sombra and Queen Chrysalis.

Taking careful aim, Twilight rolled the Marble dead center along Discord's Alley toward the royal duo. Queen Chrysalis' eyes widened in terror at the sight of the Marble barreling towards her while King Sombra merely growled and braced himself for impact. The Marble plowed straight through them both and sent them tumbling across the Impact Zone. Eventually, Chrysalis collided with the Garble Minion who had no time to react as he toppled over himself, just barely a hair's length away from the changeling Minion who opened its mouth to silently scream over the loss of its queen.

"Yes, yes, yes, yes!" Twilight shouted, excited over having taken out so many Minions at once. Then she took a pause from her excited shouts and turned to Discord. "Wait, does Garble's elimination count even though the Marble didn't touch him?"

Discord pinched the bridge of his nose. "Yes, it does," he begrudgingly admitted.

Hearing that doubled Twilight's excitement and she began dancing awkwardly in place while continuing to shout 'Yes!' repeatedly, much to the Trixie Minion's amusement and the Rainbow Dash Minion's embarrassment.. Discord grumbled something unintelligible while the Junkyard claimed his fallen Minions. He then retrieved the Marble as Twilight stopped her dancing and began teasing him.

"Looks like I'm beating you now, Discord!" She let out a deep belly laugh and fell onto her haunches. "I'm beating you at your own game!"

"The game is still young, Sparkplug," Discord stated, and readied the Marble. "Now, time to annihilate Miss Prissy!"

He let loose the Marble and it thundered down Twilight's Alley straight towards the Celestia Minion. Said statue did nothing to panic and instead looked downcast, resigning to her fate. The Marble collided with her heavily exposed side and knocked her over easily. The Luna Minion shed a tear for her fallen sister Minion as Twilight's Junkyard claimed her.

"I must say," Discord said, drawing Twilight's attention, "that felt so much more satisfying than I expected it to be." He then began laughing uncontrollably, almost as if mocking Twilight's earlier reaction to having toppled so many of his Minions at once.

Twilight ignored him and turned to the Luna Minion. Seeing the sad look in her eye brought a frown to Twilight's face. She knew perfectly well that these Minions were just magic constructs shaped like her friends and idols, but she still couldn't help but sympathize with the Luna Minion.

"Hey, Luna," she said to the crying statue. It turned to look at her, eyes heavily tear-stained. "I promise we'll avenge Celestia, okay?"

The Minion sniffed and nodded before returning to her original position. Twilight smiled before realizing the absurdity of what she'd just done.

Consuling statues . . . heh heh.

Twilight lifted the Marble with her magic and began selecting her next target. The Day Court Request Minion was the closest of the group, so naturally Twilight took aim at it. She let loose the Marble straight towards the static Minion. It collided dead center, but to Twilight's dismay didn't manage to topple it. Thanks to its large base area, the Day Court requests were almost impervious to attack.

I shouldn't have given him that Minion, Twilight thought, lightly stamping her hoof in frustration.

Discord retrieved the Marble from the ball return and faced Twilight. "Hey, Sparkplug, guess what time it is!"

Twilight was only confused by the question, as she didn't understand it's purpose. Even so, she looked up at the sun and attempted to determine the time by its position in the sky. "Well, judging from the sun, I'd say the current time is about-"

Twilight's sentence was cut short by a crashing sound, followed by a hard thud from her Impact Zone. She swiveled her head back around only to find her Grandfather Clock Minion had been toppled, which the Junkyard quickly claimed.

"It's the 'end of time'!" Discord called and fell over laughing, his arms wrapped around his surely aching sides.

Twilight audibly growled and stamped her hoof even harder than before. All of her Minions turned around with concerned expressions, which prompted Twilight to recompose herself and reassure them.

"Everything will be okay, guys." She retrieved the Marble and primed it. "You'll see."

Their concern wasn't alleviated, but the Minions turned around anyway as Twilight began selecting her next target. With all the easy targets taken out, Twilight would need to start relying more on precision to win. Surveying Discord's Impact Zone and the placement of his Minions, she decided that Trixie was in the best position to get toppled.

This isn't anything against you as a pony, Trixie, Twilight thought as she took aim and released the Marble.

The gigantic ball thundered down Discord's Alley towards the Trixie Minion, who had little more than a few moments of time to panic before it crashed into her right side, sending her flying across the Impact Zone and straight into the Pinkie Minion. The pink party pony's statue doppelganger wrapped her fore legs around the stage mare's with a wide smile as the latter retained her panicked expression. They both cartwheeled across the ground until eventually landing inside the Junkyard itself, saving the sentient hole the trouble of moving to claim them itself.

"Nice shot," Discord said in a neutral tone before returning his gaze onto Twilight. "I must know, did it feel good to ram over your friend like that?"

Twilight waved a dismissive hoof. "I'm not pleased or saddened because that wasn't really Pinkie Pie."

"If that's the case," Discord said, "why'd you get so bent out of shape in response to your Book Stack's demise?"

". . . Just take your turn, Discord," Twilight grumbled.

"Oh, I shall," the draconequus replied, and picked up the Marble.

Discord primed the Marble while selecting his next target. He eventually decided that, since he'd lost his Minion of a former Elemental Bearer, it was only fitting that Princess Sparkplug lost hers.

You always were overly confrontational, Dashie; even before I returned.

With his target selected, Discord swung back his arm and released the Marble. The Dash Minion instantly realized she was in its way and braced for impact, gritting her teeth and shedding a few tears. Twilight felt a stabbing pain in her heart as she watched her friends' doppelganger get annihilated by the Marble, and claimed by the Junkyard soon after.

"Why the long face, Twiley?" Discord asked in an obviously sarcastic tone. "After all, that wasn't really Rainbow Dash."

Twilight furrowed raging brows and retrieved the Marble. She didn't even bother to aim it this time. So blinded by rage was she, in fact, that she just haphazardly threw it down Discord's Alley without any careful planning of her target whatsoever. The Marble plowed straight into the Day Court Request Minion, but like before it did nothing other than move the invincible Minion backwards a little bit. Twilight scowled in frustration before hanging her head in shame.

"Well, since you're apparently too blinded by rage to topple something," Discord picked the ball out of the return and took aim, "I'll have to pick up your slack."

He shot the Marble down the Alley at lightning fast speed. It collided with the Shining Armor Minion which sailed across the ground before coming to a stop face down at Twilight's hooves. The lavender alicorn could do nothing except shed a tear for her BBBFF as her Junkyard claimed him, to which Discord raised a curious brow at this development. He didn't have any time to ponder it, however, as his attention was drawn by the sound of shifting sand coming from Twilight's Junkyard. Curious, Discord beckoned the sentient hole over to him and peered down, only to blush profusely at what he saw.

"What is it, Discord?" Twilight asked, her eyes still misty with tears.

Discord didn't reply, instead returning the Junkyard to its original position as fast as he could. Twilight tilted her head in confusion at his behavior, but ultimately decided not to pursue it any farther and instead retrieved the Marble. Determined not to let her emotions cloud her focus, she inhaled deeply through her nose and exhaled through her mouth. Then she studied her position relative to Discord's remaining Minions, trying to determine the best course of action for a continuance of toppling multiple Minions at once. Once she finished studying the enemy Minion placement, Twilight sidestepped to the right a bit to better align herself with her chosen target.

Putting a bit more 'oomph' into her shot, Twilight rolled the Marble at a reasonable pace toward Discord's Cockatrice Minion. The Cockatrice went wide-eyed in panic as the Marble collided with it a little off-center to the right, sending it tumbling across the Impact Zone and straight toward the Changeling Minion. The insect held its mantis-like arms up in a futile attempt at self-defense as the Cockatrice plowed straight into it and both fell straight into the Junkyard, which by this point had become adept at predicting where the fallen Minions would land in advance.

"I'm in the lead again, Discord," Twilight stated flatly yet assuredly.

Discord said nothing in response as he was too confused by the serious tone with which Twilight had spoken.

Just how serious is she taking this game? he asked himself.

The sound of the ball return spitting out the Marble snapped Discord from his thoughts. He shook his head clear and grabbed the Marble before setting sights on the Luna Minion. He drew back his arm and, with a flick of his wrist, performed a perfect curveball as the Marble thundered in a sideways arc down the Alley. The Luna Minion panicked and desperately tried to use her wings to fly away, but soon remembered that they were made of stone and unable to provide lift. The Marble collided with her dead center, but instead of completely toppling over she landed against the Starswirl Minion which was situated just next to her. The Luna Minion, despite having no blood present within itself, visibly blushed a dark crimson.

Discord struggled to contain his laughter at first before remembering he didn't care about her feelings and let loose an uproarious laughter that could likely be heard all the way in Canterlot and beyond. The Luna Minion's blush only deepened, while the Starswirl Minion and Twilight only rolled their eyes in annoyance.

Twilight retrieved the Marble and began surveying her options for targets, of which there were only two: Discord and the Day Court Requests, both of which were equally difficult to topple for mirror opposite reasons. The Discord Minion was standing up straight and, just like the real thing (who was currently sitting at a table, playing cards with Matilda while he waited for her to go), had a thinly vertical base area that made it impossible to hit with the Marble aside from dead center. On the other hoof, Twilight had already attempted to topple the Day Court Requests Minion a couple of times already, but its wide base area made toppling it seemingly impossible all around.

No, it can be done, Twilight thought to reassure herself.

Sidestepping to the left, Twilight lined up her shot with the sturdy Minion and launched. The Marble thundered down the Alley, hitting the Minion's right side but, to Twilight's continued dismay, didn't topple it. Instead, the Minion merely spun around once before coming to a rest a bit off from its original position. Twilight was about to groan in frustration when she noticed something interesting. The Day Court Requests Minion had spun counter-clockwise toward the left side of Discord's Impact Zone before stopping. Specifically, what caught her attention, was the fact that the Discord Minion was now perfectly aligned horizontally with the paper stack statue.

Maybe if . . . yes, that'll work; I hope.

"Got any threes?" Discord asked Matilda.

"Go fish," the olden donkey answered, to which Discord drew a card. "Can I go home now?"

The ball return spat out the Marble right then, and Discord nodded his answer. Matilda got up out of her chair and was about to start walking away when she bumped a fore leg against the table and fell over onto her side.

"My leg!" she shouted in pain.

Discord rolled his eyes and, with a snap of his talon, transported her to Ponyville Hospital. He then turned back to the game and, without any hesitation whatsoever, chucked the Marble at the Starswirl and Luna Minions. The Luna Minion clutched the Starswirl Minion with fear in its eyes, to which he merely patted her on the head with a solemn look on his face. The Marble barreled straight through them, sending both flying through the air. The Junkyard quickly moved itself over to where they would land, catching them on the way back down before returning to its original position.

"Well, princess," Discord said while inspecting his talon disinterestedly, "you have but one Minion left while I still have two. Do you still think you can pull off a win?"

Twilight looked downcast with a frown before turning to her last remaining Minion; Mark. Just looking at the abomination was enough to make Twilight shiver with disgust. The fact that it was her last remaining Minion . . . well, it didn't exactly inspire confidence.

Maybe I should just give up while I still can. I don't even know if my plan will work period, much less if I can execute it in time to win. Yeah, I really should just-

Twilight was jolted from her thoughts by a movement from Mark. The five-eyed, miniskirt wearing, winged lizard/squirrel hybrid had turned around to stare at its master. The lavender alicorn stared curiously back as Mark hadn't been nearly as lively as all her other Minions throughout the game. The abomination kept its five eyes on her for a few moments, which only further unsettled Twilight, before giving a wide smile and winking. Twilight could only raise a confused brow in response, but went wide-eyed in surprise when Mark gave her a thumbs up before turning back around.

Was that . . . reassurance? Twilight thought. She stared blankly ahead for a moment before retraining her gaze on Discord's remaining Minions. After contemplating for a few more moments, Twilight smiled determinedly. It was. I can't give up; not when victory is so close. I just need to have faith in Mark, as well as myself, and I can win this game.

Her resolve hardened, Twilight retrieved the Marble and began running through her head the calculations needed to enact her plan successfully. Upon completion, she called upon the enhanced strength of alicorn magic and proceeded to hurl the Marble down Discord's Alley with such vigor that any spectators would've shat bricks. The Marble thundered forward toward the Day Court Requests, proceeding to strike its left side in such a way that it was sent spinning across the Impact Zone, directly toward the Discord Minion who looked panic-stricken in response. The Day Court Requests collided with Discord, which caused the latter to topple over onto its side while the former came to a stop just a few centimeters away from the Impact Zone's edge, right next to the Junkyard's position.

Discord went slack-jawed to what Twilight just did, while the lavender alicorn herself smiled and puffed out her chest. "Knowledge is the greatest weapon, and mine equals that of a hundred swords."

The Discord Minion waved goodbye to its master before pulling a stone rose out of nowhere and holding it up to its chest as the Junkyard moved to claim him. The real Discord snapped out of its funk and turned to face Twilight with a sly smile. "It seems I've underestimated you, my little egghead." He grabbed the Marble from the ball return. "But this is still anyone's game."

"I have total confidence in Mark," Twilight announced. Said Minion went into a battle stance as Twilight continued. "With his strength and my intelligence, victory is surely ours."

Does this mare take every game she plays so seriously? Discord thought while he prepped the Marble.

He quickly let loose the gigantic ball and it zipped down Twilight's Alley towards the abomination known as Mark. The Minion stood its ground with a resolute smile as the Marble collided dead on with it, sending it flying through the air. When Mark landed back upon the Impact Zone, however, it was to Discord's shock and Twilight's delight as the abomination managed to land perfectly upright. It smirked at a once again slack-jawed Discord and gave Twilight another thumbs up.

Twilight nodded and turned to Discord, smirking. "I guess I should say thanks for giving me such a strong Minion, Discord. So, thanks for giving me such a strong Minion, Discord." She followed by laughing uproariously while Discord deadpanned and rolled his eyes.

Once Twilight regained her composure, she retrieved the Marble and ran through her head the calculations needed to topple Discord's one remaining Minion. Once done, she shifted to the left and set the Marble down on her right. Once again calling upon her alicorn magic, she launched the Marble down Discord's Alley toward the Day Court Requests. The angle it was pitched at was such that the Marble struck the disproportioned statue at its leftmost corner to the Impact Zone's center, sending it spinning across the ground just like before.

The Day Court Requests Minion spun the remaining distance into the Junkyard. It hit the opposite side's wall as it fell in before plummeting to the bottom with an audible crash. Twilight's eyes widened the most they'd ever done before the lavender alicorn let out a most un-princess-like scream of joy as she leapt into the air.

"YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES!!!" she chanted excitedly. "I DID IT! I DID IT!"

"Not yet," Discord stated authoritatively.

Immediately, Twilight's joy evaporated faster than water in a sauna and she plopped back onto the ground with a curious frown. "What do you mean?" she asked. "I toppled all of your Minions; what else do I need to do?"

"There's one last element to Chaos Ball in need of explanation, princess," Discord replied as he picked the Marble up from the ball return. "It's called 'The Final Chance'."

"What does 'The Final Chance' entail?" Twilight asked, her tone one of both curiosity and worry.

"It's exactly as the name implies," Discord stated smugly. "When one player loses all of their Minions, they're allowed one last shot to topple all of the opponent's remaining Minions and tie the game." Discord smiled deviously. "And as you can see, Mark is your only remaining Minion, which makes things so much easier for me."

Twilight gulped, and looked to Mark for more reassurance. The winged abomination gave her yet another thumbs up, to which Twilight nodded in understanding. Of course, as was typical for the lavender princess, she was shaking on the inside with fear that all her efforts to win would be laid to waste.

Okay, deep breaths Sparkle; deep breaths . . .

While Twilight did her breathing exercise, Discord primed the Marble for what was to be the last shot of the game. If he toppled Mark, then the game would end in a draw. If he failed to topple Mark, and Twilight managed to not die from overexcitement at winning he could make a compelling argument to Princess Celestia to put a copyright on Chaos Ball and let him sell the game to children across the world.

With a flick of his wrist, Discord launched the Marble down Twilight's Alley at a moderate pace. The red and black ball curved along the Alley's edge before changing direction and barreling straight towards Mark. The horribly disfigured Minion threw its arms up in front to brace for impact just as the Marble struck head on. At first, Twilight panicked as she saw Mark tumble across the Impact Zone, but that panic changed to dramatic tension for not just her, but Discord as well, as Mark once again landed in the upright position but began spinning around on its rim like a golf ball on a hole. Both players began biting their appendages in anticipation of whether the Minion would come to a stop fully upright or gravity would force it to topple over.

The statue spun around once.

Is it gonna fall? Twilight thought.

It spun around a second time.

C'mon, fall, Discord thought.

Mark spun around a third time.

Twilight and Discord were feverishly biting at their hoof and talon, respectively; a small pile of shavings from both quickly accumulating on the ground in front of them.

Mark spun around a fourth time. Then a fifth. A sixth. And seventh. Eighth.

. . . Ninth.

"Come on already!" Twilight and Discord both shouted.

Finally, Mark's spinning began to slow down, until eventually . . . . . .

"YES!" Twilight shouted as Mark stopped spinning and landed fully upright, facing her directly. "WE DID IT, MARK!"

Before anything else could be said or done, Twilight rushed forward and proceeded to give Mark the strongest bear hug she'd ever dished out in her life. The abomination of nature could do nothing as it struggled to breathe under the alicorn's constricting grip, assuming it even needed air to begin with being a statue and all. Once Twilight had loosened her grip a bit, however, Mark quickly returned the hug and patted her on the back.

"I can't believe we did it!" Twilight exclaimed, looking down at him. "I don't know how you managed to recover from two strikes, but heck if I care!" She began jumping around in a circle and chanting in a sing song voice, "I beat Discord! I beat Discord! I beat Discord! I beat Discord! I beat Disc-WHOOOAAA!!!"

Twilight's chanting was cut off as she jumped straight into her Junkyard, which has been moved to right in front of her by Discord, who closed the distance between him and it and looked down into the hole where Twilight lay sprawled alongside all her fallen Minions.

"It's just a game, princess," Discord stated evenly, and with a snap of his talon teleported away.

Author's Note

Glad to finally be done with this story.

This chapter is unedited, so there might be errors throughout it. Point out any that you see and I'll be sure to fix them.

~~Chaos Ball is copyrighted by Discord's Fun Factory Inc. Any unauthorized use in a work of fan fiction, whether in name or play, will result in fines of up to one downvote per story.~~

Go wild my readers! Let the Chaos Ball reign supreme!