A Bit Too Much

by TwilightPoopSparkle

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy
Length: 2161

Cheese Sandwich parties way too much.

Remember in Pinkie Pride when Cheese was in jail? Cheese Sandwich actually did go to jail because he partied too much. The guards or the club couldn't even handle him.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-01 18:50:02 UTC

Party!

     The light yellow pony was hoof cuffed, waiting for his sentence. Not even the chains could hold him as he was bouncing in place happily. Guards flanked his sides, making sure he didn't throw a party or sing. Not like a Pinkie Pie party...A Cheese Sandwich party. Those were the craziest. In fact, they were so crazy that he was sent to jail for it! What's wrong with having a bit of fun?

     "Bring him in." The judge called. The guards pushed him into the court room where a grey unicorn wearing a white wig loomed over him. Ponies watched from the stands, most looked unhappy to be there. Stained windows decorated the sides, all of them open to let the spring breeze in. Even the sweet air couldn't mask the scent of the defendants's cheese and cake odor.

     "It seems that you are upset! This calls for a-" Cheese Sandwich didn't finish his sentence as his guards pounced on him, holding him tightly. Being crushed under several hundred pounds of muscle hurt. "Hey! What gives bro?"

     "Stop the singing!" All the guards yelled. "We know how you work."

     The judge smirked before the gavel hit the table. "This is why I called you here. Cheese 'Weird Al' Sandwich, you are under arrest for obsessive partying. You have held three parties in one day, spanning over three towns. The parties take place everywhere, and nothing can stop you. Most ponies are tired of your parties, but you force them to join. We normally allow partying, but this has become an obsession of yours for too many years. In fact, I bet you're thinking of a song right now."

     Cheese pulled out from under the guards before a rope was tied around his neck and frizzy tail. It pulled him back under the pile, where he struggled for breath. "Y-You have me wrongly accused! This is blasphemy!"

     "Actually, I have proof." The unicorn brought out eighteen pictures, each picturing Cheese doing so many activities at once, it was hard to keep track off. In one picture he was orchestrating a band, the next he was choking three ponies with tight hugs. "Not to mention you tried hugging ponies to death and spiking punch."

    "That was only once!" Three pictures threw into the stallion, all of him pouring large amounts of alcohol into pink punch. "Whoopsi daisy then."

     The judge called again. "Bring in the witnesses!" At least six mares and two stallions came in, their heads held high. They each told their own story of how Cheese partied, though not in a good way. One talked about him snorting cocaine, others said that he gave ponies cocaine lollipops. Cheese didn't pay attention. He wasn't guilty! Partying is fun! Especially when they are absolutely crazy!

     "Jury, what do you think?" All of them pointed down, signifying that he was going to jail. The steely cold gazes burrowed into Cheese. "Lawyers?" The accusing lawyer laughed and fell out of his seat. "Face it, he is so guilty I can't even tell you right now. Cheese's lawyer came up to the defendant, shaking sightly as sweat poured down his brow.

     "I find it hard to defend some pony when they are guilty. The proof is undeniable. Sorry." The defendant was outraged.

     "How dare you! I payed all that dough, including that bottle of vodka!" A couple ponies raised their eyebrows, giving him suspicious stares. "Uh, what I meant to say was, I gave you all those bits! I wanted a real lawyer." The lawyer turned his back, walking away.

     "Nope."

     "Then it is decided." The judge spoke abruptly and used the gavel again. "Cheese Sandwich, I sentence you to five years of jail without probation." Cheese suddenly burst from the guard pile, helium balloons strapped around his waist.

     "You will never take me alive sucker!" Cheese began to float up. Up up up he soared, out of reach from any pony's magic field. He flew out the window as he held up his rubber chicken triumphantly. The breeze carried him away as the flabbergasted ponies below watched. Obviously he sang a song.

"You tried to catch me, but you missed!

You tried to imprison me, but I'm too good.

As the super duper party pony!

I will be spectacular again!"

     Cheese sang his song, hardly noticing that he was flying into the hooves of some waiting pegasi. They grabbed him, popping all of his balloons and throwing his beloved chicken onto the ground. He struggled, but the pegasi held him tight. It wasn't worth it at the moment. Maybe he could throw a party at the jail!

     He was thrown into a carriage, headed strait towards Ponyville Jail. He smiled as a million thoughts ran through his head. Could it be an escape plan? Nopony knows.

     A giant prison grew nearer and nearer. Cheese still bounced in his seat, wishing for his accordion to play. When the reached the front gates, unicorn guards lifted him up with their magic, preventing any escapes. And just so he couldn't say anything, a large gag was placed in his mouth. "Mmmph! Mmmph!" He whined.

     The lanky stallion was forced into a registration office where an amused mare sat. She was very pretty with light purple fur and yellow mane. "Well look who we have here. I was waiting for you to come any day now. Those parties are getting out of hand." She spoke with a bored Manehatten accent.

     "Ma'm, we are here to report that this pony right here," The guards pointed hooves at Cheese. "Is under arrest. He is to be imprisoned for five years without probation." They spoke in union. She shooed them away, where they would be reassigned to another task.

     "You dug yourself a hole too deep Cheese, no way out." She straightened his hair, before in sproinged back into its original style. "C'mon." The stallion was forced down a large hall, where he could see other inmates. Most of them had tattoos and piercings. What this going to be is new life now? Jingle Jangle...Jingle Jangle...The chains rattled as he continued to walk. Hah, He thought. Almost like a gang chain...but with just me.

     He walked further down the hall, where the prisoners became less violent...and more insane. The stone cold wall led to padded ones. Big tough guys turned into straitjacketed guys. Okay...not exactly the life style he planned it to be. He was tossed into a room as his face collided into a padded wall harshly. The guards outside laughed at his misfortune. "Hah, now the 'Super Duper Party Pony' is in the asylum! What will you do now chump?"

     Cheese didn't say anything as he searched his surrounding, devising an escape plan. The pads covered the floor, walls, and ceiling, so hammering or drilling was out of the job. Small soft toys and stuffed animals were scattered around, that could work. No. He had the best idea of them all. Who cares if he sang it out loud?

"I have a plan and it the super duper best!

First I'll make a slingshot, and I'll start my quest!

The guards can't stop me not even with their magic horns,

For this super duper party pony can-"

     "Ahem." A voice spoke sharply, cutting off his amazing song. "I saw what you were doing, and I'm addressing that." The mare who just spoke entered the room, carrying a clipboard with her magic. She had auburn hair with yellow fur with a brain cutie mark. "My name is Tender Heart, and I will be evaluating you."

     "Bitch, you can't evaluate me! I'm perfectly sane!" He threw a rubber chicken at her, barely grazing her horn.

     She scribbled a few notes, watching him carefully. "Hmm...continue."

     "I told you, I'm as sane as a fillies attracted to ice cream! Why did you even put me in here? Ponies wanted a party, I gave them a party. Want fun? I take it to the extreme. Now let me out of here!" A straitjacket wrapped around his hooves and body. "BITCH!" He yelled.

    "You have way too many parties in a short time. You need to relax."

     Cheese struggled against his bonds. "Relax? RELAX?! You don't know my swag! That's what my cutie mark stands for!...and playing the accordion."

     Tender Heart calmly put down her notebook and walked out the door. "Well, this session isn't helping at all. Whenever you feel like chilling, I'll be there."

     His brow furrowed as the door closed. New plan...new plan...singing always does the trick.

"I got my heart set on breaking out of here!

This party pony will make your hearts aflutter,

with my accordion and my dancing

My hooves go left, my hooves go right

I will be singing, into the night!"

     He panted, exhausted from singing three songs in one day. A faint clap could be heard from the next cell, but other than that, nothing. No dancing or parting? Gotta spice this up some more. Cheese inched his way to the soft toys. There was a bouncy ball, a paper doll, an an inflatable balloon. Who puts this kinds of stuff in here? The last pony who stayed at the cell? Either way...this is perfect for his REAL master plan.

     A guard burst into Tender Heart's room, where she was watching TV. "Heart!"

     "What is it?"

     "It's Cheese Sandwich. He's..." The guard trailed off, gulping loudly.

     "Well? Get on with it!"

     "He's having a party...and playing a accordion." Heart's eyes widened as she slammed down on the red emergency button right next to her. "SOUND THE ALARMS!" She screamed full throttled into a speaker. This was not good.

     The cell was fit and tidy, except that Cheese was out of his straitjacket and playing the accordion. Even though it was made out from an assortment of item, it played quite well. He sang on the top of his lungs, parching around the room. The guards and the phycologist opened the door, horrified on the spot.

     His accordion was not dangerous...but it was extremely catchy. Too catchy to be precise. Everypony watched as their feet began to move on their own accord, to to music.

     "I can't stop!" One guard shrieked as she twirled around, knocking into other ponies. Those who were not dancing were forced to sing with Cheese. Why is so catchy? Now for the big finale!

"You guys know I'm the best super duper party pony there is

I'm way more fun then you.

I'm taking my parade out of here!

You can't stop me!"

     The ponies formed a conga line as they walked down the hall. He released some prisoners as they joined the line. "Let's make this the best party ever!" Those still stuck in the cells shouted angrily of how they were not being released. "Because you have to be like me." Is all he said. They continued out the door and into the open. Guards and any pony who ran to take control of Cheese were subdues by his catchy polka music.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

     The prison sounded the alarm, alerting every pony of his presence. Yet even with the unicorns and ponies with guns, they couldn't stop Cheese. By the time they walked out the prison, the conga line was a quarter of a mile long. Confetti burst out of nowhere, showering the ponies with paper delight.

     When they reached the outskirts of Appaloosa, they stopped. He broke off from the Conga line and addressed loudly. "Hello Everypony! I just wanted to thank you of how much fun this was to me! Now while we are at it, let's have some fun!" Now that the music stopped, the ponies were free from the curse. Now for some revenge. Cheese was prepared for that as he ran away quicker than any pony in the line.

     Once the angry mob was sufficiently far away from him, he smiled. This is a new town with new faces. He hopped to a buffalo that looked like the chief. "Hello! I was wondering, do you need a party for anything?"

     Chief Thunderhooves thought for a second. "My daughter's birthday is tonight." Cheese threw himself into the air.

     A new party to plan! Nothing could ruin this! After this one he could go to the next town and the next and the next until all of Equestria was partied out. Thunderhooves smiled nervously as Cheese ran around the place, scattering steamers everywhere and passed out cocaine lollipops.

"A super duper party pony does what he wants

Not even jail can stop him, not one.

Cheese can throw a party whenever he wants

Because parties are awesome!"