Pony addiction ballad.

by Zelos797

Rating: teen
Tags: Tragedy
Length: 1146

A poem about brony whose life was ruined by ponies.

Most of the bronies might say that MLP saved their life or cured their depression, but this brony's life was ruined by an addiction to ponies.

Inspired by this song.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-11-21 19:40:02 UTC

Pony Addiction Ballad.

When I was six years old my family died in the crash.

It was just a huge and unpreditable crush.

All I heard was a loud and horrible smash.

My mother and father turned into an ugly mash.

I got to say my favorite pony is Rainbow Dash.

And I am really strongly addicted to Hash.

But hash is not as bad as searching for stash.

Filled with crumpled cold hearted cash.

I might get myself a bash for a flash.

For wasting my last money on this trash.

But I am addicted all I've got to say.

These ponies really got a hold of me.

Cause every time I go try to leave,

Something is pulling on my sleeve.

I don't wanna but I've got to stay;

these ponies really got a hold of me.

Cause every I try to tell them "No"

They won't ever let me let them go.

I'm a sucka is all I gotta say;

these ponies really got a hold of me.

I had a real good job.

A real big tab.

Then it just came to me, stab!

This addiction worse than any drug;

it made me much more smug.

You could just stick to me a tag,

which would say a brony for life.

Cause every cent I get gets wasted

I am in my apartament wasted

Dreaming of a better life.

Dreaming of a change.

When for real I never really did wanna change.

I just crack the dvd box open and cringe.

I don't want them but I've got to watch.

I never could resist much.

Case every time I go to try to leave

Something is pulling on my sleeve

I don't wanna but I've got to stay

These ponies really got a hold of me.

Cause every I try to tell them "No"

They won't ever let me let them go.

I'm a sucka all i gotta say.

These ponies really got a hold of me.

I blame you Lauren for all the trouble.

My life would never crumble.

And I would never stumble,

from this addiction thats nothing solvable.

I would burn all my MLP T-shirts.

I would even burn all these MLP skirts.

Man why did I buy them, am I a chick?

Well I am most certainly a huge freak.

I am on a hot streak.

Clopping daily two hours straight.

I wonder if I am really straight.

But I guess it is just fate

to be a slave of this state.

I really hate myself and love myself.

And now I am literally making love to myself.

Shut the door man it is disgraceful.

Screw you I am not regretful.

I regret nothing and everything I have ever done.

I have had a tons of fun.

Right now I want to just run.

from my small room filled with rum.

I drink some sort of wierd of mash.

I smoke a lot of cheap hash.

I am searching for my money stash

To buy some more MLP trash.

I want to just wash it all off.

But I will never be able to get it all off.

I have always wished that I could morph

Into a happy pony named Toph.

Why Toph? Cause I sounds really tough.

I don't know it's just my freaky mind,

but in reality I don't quite mind

It playing games with me.

Trying to screw with me.

Daily harrasing me.

Won't ever let go of me.

It may be me

but not quite me

it may just be

my mind screws me

And I want to puke but I drink it all down.

I am wearing a brony crown.

I always smile

But Inside I frown.

I just want to get out of this crazy pony town.

Case every time I go to try to leave

Something is pulling on my sleeve

I don't wanna but I've got to stay

These ponies really got a hold of me.

Cause every I try to tell them "No"

They won't ever let me let them go.

I'm a sucka all i gotta say.

These ponies really got a hold of me.

It was a good fun life filled with misery.

I see only one exit from it for me.

A shotgun  in my room lies quitely.

It may just be the best thing for me.

I wonder if someone will visit my RIP.

I get up and swallow it's tip.

I am ending the life I cannot  keep.

The last thing I do is a Vodka zip.

Goodbye cruel world and Lauren Faust you bitch!

I hope you die in an endless ditch.

My life was really not rich.

But it had it's good pitch.

Goodbye my the apartament filled with pony trash.

Now I am all out of cash.

I could not find my stash.

I did not buy anymore trash.

And I never finished watching M.A.S.H.

I never watched anything after I found MLP.

I hate you MLP.

I wish you would die MLP.

I mean it really.

I don't want you to kill another Willy.

A bash splatters brains all over the wall.

Some of it gets on the floor.

The body is dead to the core.

The life has nothing for him in the store anymore.

He just wishes he could watch more of MLP because he is it's whore.

It was the best and the worst life he could have had.

It split him into two always fighting halfs.

The one loved every second of joy, and wasted every cent on every toy.

The other wanted it all to end.

It wanted to have at least one real friend.

But this half could not stand to just bend.

So the body lies dead with no one to find it.

No one to hide it.

No one to burry or to cry for it.

Cause the MLP just may be.

The next best thing

And the next worst thing.

I open my eyes and what I see.

Ponyville and in the centre, me.

Here sits Twilight  reading a book.

And here is Fluttershy look.

I cann't believe my eyes for a moment I shoock.

I give myself a quick look.

I am a pony.

no longer a brony.

I am one of them.

I am just like them.

I rejoice and I laugh

This world I can't have enough.

I don't know if that is fantasy or a dream.

I don't miss anyone here even my mother, Kim.

Never happier than right now.

There is applejack herding the cow.

Rainbow flying and doing her tricks.

And in a moment something here ticks.

It's sonic rainboom a beacon of hope.

It is a rainbow colored beautiful sign.

I just stand here in line

With other ponies who think it is so fine...

I am not alone anymore.

I am at home forevermore.