Chapter Six: Old Enough to Know Better

“I don’t believe this… turnin’ mah sister into a colt, of all the hair-brained, asinine pranks… gonna tan his hide if he ever shows his mismatched face around here again…”

The walk through the apple fields and back to the family homestead was an awkward and uncomfortable one. Applejack led the way at a brisk, stiff march as she muttered angrily to herself and occasionally looked back to make sure her younger sister was still following, as though she didn’t trust the filly to do so. Apple Bloom couldn’t blame her sister for that though, considering the secret she’d kept and the promise she’d broken over the last day, and so she kept her head down and her mouth shut, following behind Applejack at a light trot to keep up with the mare’s longer strides.

Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo had hightailed it home at the first sign of escape. They’d known from Applejack’s tone that their friend was in deep trouble, and interfering would only get them in trouble too. That was the last thing Apple Bloom would have wanted, even if it meant facing the music alone; her friends had done nothing wrong, there was no reason for them to get themselves in trouble for her. It wouldn’t spare her any punishment, that was for sure.

What confused her was how Applejack had known. She hadn’t seemed to notice anything strange that morning, and Apple Bloom had left so quickly besides. They hadn’t come straight home from school though, obviously, so it couldn’t have been hard to guess they were hanging out at the clubhouse. From there Applejack must have just passed by and overheard them talking. They sure hadn’t been doing so quietly, after all. It was probably more like yelling at a couple of points, it would have been easy for anypony listening to get the gist of what they were talking about. And of course she just had to open her mouth right at the end and invite more drama into her day. Apple Bloom would have groaned if her voice wasn’t frozen with dread. That’s what Ah get fer temptin’ fate, she scolded herself. She wondered what Granny Smith and Big Mac would say when they found out. If she was lucky, Granny would still be having her afternoon nap and Mac would still be busy in the fields, and she wouldn’t have to deal with either of their reactions until the dust had time to settle.

Something didn’t quite add up, though. Apple Bloom was pretty sure they hadn’t said anything about how she was a boy at the moment, and she was positive they hadn’t mentioned Discord by name. So how did Applejack know? Did she even dare ask?

The question died in her throat though as the two sisters walked into the farmhouse, and her heart sank to the bottom of her hooves at the sight that greeted them. Twilight Sparkle sat on the couch in the center of the living room, eyeing Apple Bloom and clucking her tongue in disapproval, and squirming uncomfortably beside her was…

“I’m sorry, Apple Bloom…” Spike said, rubbing the back of his head and unable to look her in the eye. “She went straight to your sister, there was nothing I could do…”

“Nonsense, Spike, you did the right thing by telling me,” Twilight insisted, patting his head with one hoof. It didn’t seem to give him any comfort.

Well, that was that mystery solved, Apple Bloom thought with an internal groan. Applejack hadn’t even needed to overhear them at the clubhouse, Twilight had simply passed on everything to Applejack through Spike, and that was more than enough. Apple Bloom had known that asking Twilight for help was going to be a long-shot, but neither she, nor Spike apparently, had expected it to backfire quite this spectacularly.

Oh well. Keeping it a secret from Applejack had been a pipe dream at best from the moment Fluttershy told her that Discord had flown the coop. Considering how much she’d enjoyed herself with her friends earlier, it was no surprise that all her good karma for the day had been used up.

“Well?” Applejack said, closing the front door and turning to glare at her. “You got anything ta say for yerself?”

Apple Bloom gave a slow nod as her voice unfroze and she dodged her sister’s glare, facing Twilight and Spike instead. “Please don’ punish Spike fer nothin’. None o’ this was his fault. He jus’ wanted ta help.”

This time Spike relaxed, and actually met her gaze. “Huh? You… you’re not mad at me?”

“A’course not,” Apple Bloom insisted with an awkward smile. Damn those pink cheeks of hers, why now? “Ah meant what Ah said, y’all jus’ wanted ta help me. Ah really appreciate ya tryin’, even if it didn’t work out.”

“Eh-heh…” Spike actually blushed too. “Thanks…”

“Don’t worry, Apple Bloom, Spike’s not in trouble,” Twilight said.

“But you are.”

Apple Bloom sighed and grudgingly looked back at her sister. “Yeah, Ah know, Ah know.”

Applejack’s intense stare hadn’t softened at all. “Start talkin’, young lady.”

Apple Bloom swallowed hard, trying to overcome the lump in her throat. She took a deep breath, but found it all rushing back out in another helpless sigh as words failed her. Was there any way she could explain this that wouldn’t be utterly humiliating? Not just for her, but for her best friends, too? Not that she had much choice in the matter, she had to say something, but… maybe at the very least she could save her friends some embarrassment. A little creative censoring here and there, maybe exaggerate a couple of windows of time…

Thankfully somepony else saved her the trouble. Most of it, anyway.

“Ahem.”

The room turned as one toward Twilight, who cleared her throat into the silence. “Apple Bloom, we’ve already heard the basics from Spike. We know that Discord did this to you, and that he tricked you into agreeing to it somehow. And I don’t think we need to know the details of your… figuring out how a male body works. Do we Applejack?”

Applejack shuddered from head to hoof. “No, thank you.”

Twilight nodded her agreement, looking back down at Apple Bloom. “What we’re really concerned with is why. What could possibly make you want to make a deal like this with Discord?”

“You know he’s bad news, Apple Bloom!” Applejack said. “If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a hundred times, don’t ever trust a single word outta that lyin’ snake’s mouth! Nothin’ good can come of it, he’ll say any darn fool thing he can think of ta trick somepony into doin’ whatever he wants!”

Twilight waited calmly for Applejack to finish, and then continued after a moment of silence. “I wouldn’t go quite that far, but… yes, even post-reformation, Discord has a habit of messing with ponies in uncomfortable ways just for the sake of amusing himself. I’m sure you knew that.”

“Yeah… Ah knew,” Apple Bloom admitted.

“Then what in the hay got into you ta make you think he was worth listenin’ to?!” Applejack demanded.

“Heat,” Apple Bloom said with a shudder of embarrassment. “Heat is what got inta me.”

Both mares in the room were silent for a moment, sharing a glance of mixed understanding and confusion. They surely knew how unpleasant heat could be for a girl, especially the first time around. But then they were both way smarter than her, they probably hadn’t been stupid enough to do what she did…

Spike, though, seemed to understand where she was going with this, and looked appropriately worried and sympathetic. “But you seemed okay when I saw you after school yesterday,” he recalled aloud. “Did your heat get worse?”

Applejack gave Spike a sharp, surprised look. “How do y’all know about--?”

Spike cut her off with a grunt. “Come on, AJ, I’m not a little kid anymore. I make Twi’s Moon Tea. She gave me tomes. And lessons.”

“Which we do not need to go into detail about right now,” Twilight added, with only the barest hint of pink in her cheeks.

“…Oh. R-right.” Applejack coughed into one hoof. “Sorry. I forget how much y’all been growin’ sometimes.”

“Anyhow, he’s right,” Apple Bloom went on. “It got way worse yesterday afternoon.”

Applejack shook her head. “That ain’t no excuse. C’mon now, Apple Bloom, you’d been handlin’ heat season just fine so far, you can’t just ask the god of chaos ta zap you outta yer body so you don’t hafta deal with a bad day! Every other mare in Equestria handles it just fine!”

“It wasn’t just a ‘bad day!’” Apple Bloom shouted defensively. “Ah just… messed up, alright? Ah messed up and made it like ten times worse. Diamond Tiara tricked me inta trying to, y'know… get rid o' the heat… by mahself. With just hooves.”

Both older mares again went silent and suddenly resembled a couple of wide-eyed tomatoes, making Apple Bloom raise an eyebrow herself. Did they actually know what she was talking about after all? Had they both made that mistake once as well? Suddenly Apple Bloom hoped so, maybe that way they’d understand a little better how unbearably awful that moment had been. Spike was stunned silent too, squirming in discomfort and trying to get his legs crossed over his lap. Probably trying not to pop erect from the thought of fillies in heat and rubbing themselves. In better circumstances she might have hoped for a glimpse of what he had down there, but at the moment she was just not in the mood to get excited about it.

Applejack finally smacked herself in the face with one hoof, groaning. “Apple Bloom, I thought we went over all this, you can’t get rid of heat by yerself--”

“Ah know, Ah know.” Apple Bloom let out a frustrated whine. “An’ Cheerilee taught the same thang in class after winter break, Ah shoulda known better, but Ah just thought it was worth a try! Ah thought the least that could happen was nothin’ would change, Ah didn’t know it would get worse!”

“I’ll… see if I can talk to Cheerilee about addressing that point in future sex education lessons,” Twilight said, her expression an awkward grimace, like somepony recalling a bad memory. “You wouldn’t be the first filly in estrus to accidentally do that to herself…”

“Nnnhh…” Applejack growled to herself again, starting to pace back and forth across the living room. “…So ya got yerself all worked up, okay, fair enough, I can understand that much… but that still don’t excuse asking Discord to come along and--”

“Ah didn’t ask him to show up, he just did!” Apple Bloom said through gritted teeth. “Ah was yellin’ and screamin’ and prayin’ to Celestia, anythang Ah could think of ta just try an’ deal with how awful it felt, an’ Ah guess he just… heard me. He came along an’ said he could make it so there was a new boy in class ta help make heat go away. He wasn’ even askin’ fer anythang in return! Ah didn’ see no harm in it! Ah didn’t know he was gonna make me the boy!”

“Why would he be near enough to hear you?” Twilight asked. “Even if you were yelling and screaming, that’s awfully convenient.”

“He said he was out havin’ a tea party with Fluttershy when it happened,” Apple Bloom said with a shrug.

Applejack huffed out her next breath in an insincere laugh. “Right, Discord havin’ a tea party, a likely story…”

“No, really, it’s true, Ah asked Fluttershy about it already!” Apple Bloom insisted. “When Ah noticed what he did ta me she was the first pony Ah went to, ‘cause she can get him under control. But then she said he took off ta Canterlot an’ might not be back fer days--”

“Days?! He’s leavin’ ya like this fer days?!” Applejack shouted, stamping her hooves and starting to pace around the room as her temper flared back up. “Why that half-cocked, two-bit, double-crossin’ crook! When I get mah hooves on him, I’ll… I’ll…!”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it,” Twilight finished, probably more diplomatically than whatever Applejack would have said instead.

“We can’t jus’ let him do this, Twi! We gotta… we gotta go hunt him down or somethin’, make him fix this!”

“I’m sorry, Applejack, but our hooves are tied right now,” Twilight said. “We can’t force him to do anything. Certainly not without the Elements of Harmony, at least, and even if that were an option, it’d be… well, a little extreme.”

“Nnngghh…” Applejack growled unintelligibly, gnashing and grinding her teeth.

“I know this is strange and frustrating, Applejack, but there’s nothing more you can do about him. He’ll show his face again eventually, and when he does, I’m confident Fluttershy can reel him in. For now, we can only deal with Apple Bloom’s situation.”

“Oh, we’re dealin’ with that situation, alright,” Applejack said, rounding on Apple Bloom again. “Yer grounded, effective immediately. You come straight home after school fer the rest of the term, an’ there’s gonna be twice the chores waitin’ for ya when you get here.”

“What?!” Spike burst out, surprising the rest of the room. “But that’s almost two weeks still! And it wasn’t even her fault, Discord tricked her!”

“Yeah, Ah wasn’t right in the head! He took advantage o’ me!” Apple Bloom argued, emboldened by Spike’s support.

“Discord won’t get away with this either,” Twilight assured them, an especially curious eye on Spike as she spoke. “I’m sure Fluttershy will have a few choice words for him--”

A stamping of Apple Bloom’s hooves on the floorboards cut her off. “Oh come on! Discord just gets a talking-to from Fluttershy, but Ah get double chores and grounded fer the rest of the school year? How is that fair?!”

“I don’t care what ya think is fair,” Applejack answered curtly. “Discord is a liar an’ a cheat an’ he’ll get what’s comin’ to ‘im, but ya still broke the rules an’ ya broke yer promise. Maybe next time some god of lies and chaos comes danglin’ cheap answers in front o’ yer nose, you’ll remember this.”

“But--!”

“No buts,” Applejack said, in that very special tone that meant if Apple Bloom said another word her sentence would double. “You made yer bed, now you gotta lay in it. Now get yer backside out to the barn, there’s a dozen barrels of apples that need washing with yer name on ‘em, an’ I expect ‘em done by dinner.”

Apple Bloom seethed internally, cursing the injustice of such a severe punishment for such a relatively small transgression. She didn’t bother to voice any such frustration on the outside, though, she had no desire to be in the doghouse all summer. Instead she simply growled in defeat and walked stiffly back out the front door, pausing just off the front porch to pace in a tight circle and kick angrily at loose pebbles in a vain attempt to collect herself.

On one hoof, she wasn’t surprised, not really. Applejack had made her promise not to trust Discord and she’d gone against that promise. Punishment had been inevitable. And this was an especially weird and off-putting case; Applejack was obviously more wound-up than usual, seeing her younger sister abruptly become a younger brother, a magic that wasn’t really supposed to be possible. She was probably reacting more strongly than she might have if it were just a late homework assignment, or a broken dinner plate. But on the other hoof, those were at least legitimate reasons to get punished for. Was it really such a big deal that she was a boy? Did it really hurt anypony? Apple Bloom sure didn’t think so. If anything, she and her friends were probably better off than anypony in their whole class; with heat season in full swing, they were now free of its distractions, free to focus on more important things. Wasn’t that a good thing? So what if she’d made a deal with Discord to make it happen? Three ponies, counting herself, were better off than they were before because of it. She should be praised for that, not punished.

Or at least not this severely, she thought with an icy glare at the barn beside the family farmhouse. A dozen barrels of apples to wash by dinner? What a load of manure. She’d be lucky if she finished all that by midnight. And that was just the tip of the iceberg…

…Wait.

Apple Bloom stopped still in her tracks, her eyes glazing over in a moment of mild horror.

Did she just seriously think to herself that she was better off because of her deal with Discord?

Was she seriously better off being… being a--?

“Apple Bloom! Wait up!”

Apple Bloom jolted out of her thoughts and turned toward the voice to find Spike hurrying outside after her. Silently she praised Celestia for the timely distraction; that was not a train of thought she wanted to explore right now. “Oh, hey Spike,” she said aloud. “Ah probably can’t talk long, Ah gotta get started on--… well y’all heard what Applejack said in there, Ah got a lotta work ta do…”

“I know, um… it sounds like way too much for one pony. Uh, not that I’m implying you couldn’t do it!” Spike hastily added. “But, maybe you wouldn’t mind a little help?”

Apple Bloom gave him a surprised stare. “Help? Y’wanna help me? But y’all heard Twilight an’ Applejack, Ah’m the one in trouble, not you.”

“I don’t care about that. I just want to help. I still feel really bad about going to Twilight and getting you in trouble.”

Apple Bloom felt a guilty blush hit her cheeks. “Spike, Ah told ya not ta worry about it. They woulda found out eventually anyway. It ain’t your fault Twilight couldn’t do anythang. Ah know ya just wanted ta help.”

“And I wasn’t any help at all,” Spike said. “So lemme help for real now. Please?”

“…Ah dunno, Applejack might get mad. Ah’m supposed ta be gettin’ punished, if somepony helps me then it’s not really--”

“I asked already, she said it was okay!”

Apple Bloom raised a skeptical eyebrow. “…Really?”

“Yeah! Well, what she actually said was, ‘if yer conscience is really that guilty, then knock yerself out,’” Spike said, mocking her accent with a bit of a chuckle. “Come on, please? I know you keep saying it’s not my fault, but I still want to make it up to you. Besides, a dozen barrels of apples to wash is a ton of work for just one pony. I’ll save you two hours, at least.”

Apple Bloom cast a slow glance toward the barn. “Well… Ah would like ta be finished sometime before midnight…”

Spike broke into a hopeful smile. “So is that a yes?”

“Yeah… sure,” Apple Bloom agreed, smiling back. “Thanks, Spike, Ah really appreciate how much ya wanna help me…”

“Heh, aww, it’s the least I could do.” Spike offered her a hand. “C’mon, then, we better get started.”

“Sure thang,” she said, laying her hoof in his claws, and together the pair started walking toward the small mountain of apples that awaited them in the barn. But at least now it didn’t seem quite so daunting.

“…So did you really give yourself a heat overdrive?”

Apple Bloom blushed and slugged his shoulder. “Oh, shut up.”

Apple Bloom’s memory of the next few weeks were foggy at best. She had the summer heat to blame for that; it did things to a filly’s brain, not to mention her genitals. It had been a hot, horny, miserable summer for every filly in Ponyville unlucky enough to be single.

But she was one of the lucky ones.

She had a boy.

And what a boy he was.

Said boy currently had one clawed hand glued to her hindquarters as he straddled her from behind, while the other was pressed into her upper back and pinning her in the classic ‘face down, ass up’ position. Her tail was shamelessly flagged out of the way, and her boy was sliding something long and hot and hard into her intimate depths. Oh yes, her private parts were her own again, and oh, how she’d missed her vagina. Enduring heat season was a small price to pay when it meant she could have her nethers plundered and probed like this, fondled and filled and fucked by--

“Spike…”

Apple Bloom bit down on her pillow to muffle her throaty moan. At least, it was probably her pillow, on what was probably her bed, in what was probably her bedroom. She wasn’t really sure, to be honest, she’d stopped paying attention a long time ago. Everything that wasn’t her lover’s cock throbbing inside her was irrelevant, distracting, not worth worrying about. Her pussy was burning, it craved seed, craved every corner filled and flooded, craved the pulsing male meat inside her that was eager to provide, and all her attention was focused on satisfying that need.

Apple Bloom heaved another blissful moan and rolled over onto her back to gaze up at her lover. The motion didn’t seem to faze him in the slightest; his dick kept right on going like nothing had changed, pounding her needy pussy with seamless continuity. His face was somewhat obscured by the bright (wow, too bright) overhead lighting that almost made her close her eyes, but she could still make out his soft yellow chest and underbelly, his stubby but strong arms holding her legs splayed, his toothy yet gentle smile shining down at her… she couldn’t see what was between his legs, but she knew it had to be there, she could feel it inside her. It was probably bigger than Rumble’s. Maybe even bigger than her own had been. It certainly felt that way…

“Apple Bloom…” the figure above her whispered.

“Spike…” she whimpered back. “It feels so good…”

“You deserve it,” came his breathy, hushed reply. “You’ve been so good to your friends… you’ve earned your own relief…”

“Ah didn’t do that much,” she deflected as modestly as she could.

“But you did. Look how happy they are now…”

“Look…?” Apple Bloom echoed, her eyes shifting away from the towering vision of Spike and over to her right side. It turned out what she thought was her bedroom was actually the clubhouse, with her and Spike nestled in the big pile of cushions, and over in the corner was…

“Scootaloo?”

“Hey Apple Bloom,” Scootaloo said through a thick moan of her own. She was squatting in Apple Bloom’s lap against the corner, bouncing like a trampoline on the big, hard cock bulging from Apple Bloom’s crotch. “This was the best day ever, you made me come so hard… ahh…”

“Ah’m glad ya liked it,” Apple Bloom said from the pile of cushions. She wished she could feel that moment again; watching herself pound Scootaloo until she squirted all over the floor was almost as exciting as actually living it.

“And she’s not the only one,” Spike whispered again.

“Mm, no, she wasn’t,” Apple Bloom agreed, rolling her head the other way and looking left. Strange, the pile of cushions was over there now, and Sweetie Belle was the one laying on them. She was writhing and moaning her little heart out as Apple Bloom thrust down into her too, her teats swollen and her nipples stiff.

“Thank you, Apple Bloom,” she whispered. “Thank you for making my heat go away… you’re a good friend… ohh…”

“Happy ta help,” Apple Bloom said. Again she watched herself turn her friend into a pile of orgasmic jelly, savoring the memory and wishing she could re-live it. It thrilled her merely to recall, left her tingling with enough excitement and desire to make her dick throb and drip a little on her chest.

“And now it’s your turn for some relief…”

“Oh gosh, yes… Ah can’t wait… relieve me, Spike…” Apple Bloom begged, and Spike went back to work, pounding into her pussy with greater and greater force until she could feel her dick swinging wildly and slapping against her belly--

Wait, her dick?

Apple Bloom looked forward again. Yes, there it was, her hard, twitching, flared cock, staring her in the face like it had never left, though she was positive it hadn’t been there a minute ago. It was there now, though, and it looked like it was ready to blow at any second.

“O-oh, goddess,” Apple Bloom whimpered embarrassedly, squeezing her eyes shut. “S-Spike, don’t look…”

Her lover, however, didn’t seem to care one way or the other. The pounding continued seamlessly, filling the pussy that she still somehow had, until the throbbing in her turgid cock became unbearable. She wanted to finish, she needed to finish so bad, her seed begged to be set free--

“It’s okay, Apple Bloom…I still like you… you’re still you inside…”

Something hard and firm curled around her cock - Spike’s claws? Her own hoof? She didn’t dare open her eyes to look - and Apple Bloom instantly began thrusting against it, into it, through it, she didn’t care what it was as long as she could fuck it. She teetered upon the point of no return, twitching and flared and winking and wet all at once, desperation and need wracking her body from head to hoof, until finally--

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIII--

--IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNN--

“Spiiiiiiiike…” Apple Bloom moaned, his name coming out like a shrill whine. Her eyes suddenly felt tired and crusty, her ears twitched and folded down to try to block out the blaring alarm right next to her head, and Spike and his thrusting erection were both abruptly, mysteriously absent. But Apple Bloom was long gone and over the edge to orgasm anyway. She blinked her tired eyes open and took in the hazy image of her sunlit bedroom and her sweaty coat and finally down to her twitching cock, just in time to see white exploding from the tip as it spat hot, sticky cum up her chest and hit her square in the muzzle.

“Guh… nnhhh… wha…?” she muttered sluggishly, wincing as another pulse of thick white slime splattered across the bridge of her nose and splashed way too close to her eyes, leaving a dull stinging sensation that forced her to close them again. “Oww…!”

Several more uncontrollable spurts of jizz followed the first two as the warm, pleasant fantasy faded into nothing and gave way to cold, unfriendly reality, until her face and chest were both decked in the stinging fluid and her room was filled with the pungent scent of semen and the shrill wailing of her bedside alarm clock.

--NNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGG!

Apple Bloom blindly smacked the thing on pure reflex and shut it off, groaning and wincing as she sat up and tried to wipe the offending substance far enough away from her eyes that she could actually open them again. By the time she succeeded, she saw that her bed’s covers were now a tangled, discarded mess on the floor, her expulsions were already cooling and drying across her fur, and the organ responsible for it all wobbled half-erect in front of her face, like it was mocking her.

“Uuuuggghh,” she grunted, flopping limply back on the bed again and just lying there miserably in her own filth for a while. “Ah shoulda known… stupid dream… stupid penis…”

It wasn’t the first time she’d woken up like this, sweaty and sticky and horny after an uncomfortably vivid sex dream, and that did wonders to keep her from freaking out right about now. It’d been an almost nightly occurrence as a filly since going into heat, and it usually ended with a cold shower in the morning and much more frequent washing of her bed-sheets. But at least that had been, for all intents and purposes, normal for a mare once estrus rolled around. Applejack took a liking to cold showers as well, and her sheets were in the wash just as often, and nopony made any comments about it. Although Big Macintosh almost certainly enjoyed having so much hot water to himself for a while.

Still, this was new territory. She’d certainly never dreamed herself to climax before. She hadn’t even been sure that was a thing that could happen. She’d heard of wet dreams before, yes, but the idea that they could be that vivid, that intense, that… messy, didn’t seem possible. But the proof was right there in front of her eyes… and across her chest, and between her legs.

And that was to say nothing of the subject of her orgasmic dream.

No, not the memories of fucking her best friends. The other thing. The guy fucking her.

Okay, she admitted it. Not out loud, obviously, but within her own head, she couldn’t realistically pretend otherwise at this point. She liked Spike. How could she not? He was kind, helpful, cute, generous, funny, understanding, cute, smart, charming, cute, mature, strong, hot, knew how to cook, had a nice smile, hot… probably some other intriguing qualities she was forgetting at the moment… and he’d just spent a whole evening with her, helping her for no reason other than he felt it was the right thing to do. It was only natural that she’d spend the night dreaming about him. Catching the eye of a boy like that sounded like the most satisfying thing in the world. In more ways than one. She wondered if he was as good a lover in real life as the imagined version of him. Hopefully she could turn back into a girl soon enough to find out. Maybe she’d even be his first. Wouldn’t that be special… being the very first filly to peek between those folding scales and feast her eyes upon… whatever it was exactly dragons had down there.

Boy, she really hated that even in her dreams she hadn’t seen his dick.

…Aaaaaand of course, thinking of Spike like that immediately made her own brainless phallus start propping itself up again.

Apple Bloom let out a low groan. She’d need a really cold shower this morning.

Breakfast was quiet, awkward, and to Apple Bloom’s relief, mercifully quick. Other than throwing a brief glare at her older sister upon sitting at the dining table, she kept her head down and stuffed her face in silence. Granny Smith busied herself at the stove most of the morning and didn’t even seem to notice anything was different at all, and although Big Macintosh was sitting right next to Apple Bloom, he apparently noticed nothing out of the ordinary either. Or at least, if he did, he had no comment on it. That would be just like him, actually. Almost nothing fazed him. Suddenly she wished it had been Macintosh that came after her yesterday instead, at least he wouldn’t have flipped out like Applejack had. He would just hand down her punishment for breaking the rules and that would be the end of it, no fighting and yelling involved. Heck, even one of Granny Smith’s spittle-laced, borderline-indecipherable lectures would have been more preferable than this.

The moment she finished eating Apple Bloom dumped her plate in the sink and grabbed her saddlebags, and with hardly a word said by anypony she was out the front door and on her way to school quite a bit earlier than usual. Applejack would surely have another laundry list of chores for her to do when she got home, on top of her homework that was going to start piling up at this rate, but for now at least, she was free from all that.

Yeah. Free to go to school and be stared at by everypony again. Free to be the center of attention for another round of her classmates pointing and whispering behind her back. Free to struggle to keep her mind from wandering so her dick didn’t spring up in front of the whole class to humiliate her further.

Some freedom. Ugh.

Still, at least it wasn’t all bad. A dick with a mind of its own was still technically an improvement over the discomforts of estrus. And at least she’d been able to pull her friends out of it too, albeit with more conventional methods than chaotic gender-swapping. So in a way things really were better off now--

Celestia damnit, there was that thought again! She was not better off being a boy! Yeah, sure, her chores last night had been easier than expected, but… that was just because Spike was helping. Yeah, maybe dragging the apple barrels around had been a lot easier than usual, but that probably only saved her a few extra minutes, tops, big deal. And quelling her friends’ heat cycles was just… making the best of a bad situation. Just because she enjoyed it didn’t mean she liked being a boy. And savoring a break from her own estrus didn’t mean she wanted the vacation to be permanent. A few days, maybe. A week, tops.

Wait, no! No, she wanted to be normal again right now! Not in a week! Goddess, what was wrong with her brain?

“Uuuuuugh,” Apple Bloom groaned aloud at nopony. “Dang it, Discord, you an’ yer stupid pranks are messin’ with mah head…”

“Oh, I don’t know, I thought it was rather clever. But I admit I might be just a pinch biased.”

Apple Bloom froze in place, ears twitching at the familiar voice. Her eyes swept the road for signs of life, but although the schoolhouse was in view, she was alone. As early as she’d left, nopony else had arrived yet.

Not that it mattered. She’d recognize that voice anywhere now. It was burned into her brain.

“Discord…” she snarled.

“In the flesh!” Discord said, a pair of eyes and a toothy, cheshire grin opening up in thin air. “Well, figuratively speaking.”

Apple Bloom glared at the floating body parts. “Where’s the rest of ya?! Ah’ve got a flank-bucking with yer name on it!”

“Sorry, my dear, but doing things to my rear-end isn’t my bag.”

“…Augh, eewww! Just show yerself, ya big creepy scoundrel!”

“Scoundrel? Scoundrel? Ooooh, I like that name.” Discord’s disembodied mouth cackled wildly, but he eventually did as he was asked, the rest of his body pouring into existence from the ground up like a giant water bottle being filled. “So, how have you been enjoying the first twenty-four hours of your dream come true?”

“Dream?!” Apple Bloom shouted. “You call this a dream?! Ah call it a nightmare!”

Discord mock-gasped. “Oh dear, buyer’s remorse already? Well, you know what they say about impulse-buying. It’s really not fair that they keep all those tantalizing goodies right next to the checkout counter, actually. It’s like they’re preying on your lack of self-control! Sure, you don’t really need the box of king-size candy bars or the Daring Do edition of Marenopoly, but when it’s right there, well, darn it, you just can’t resist!”

Apple Bloom snorted and stamped her hooves like a bull ready to charge. “Rrrrrgggh, stop makin’ fun of me!”

“Don’t take it personally, kid, I make fun of everyone. How would it look to my respected colleagues if I gave you special treatment just because you blew smoke at me--”

Apple Bloom grabbed an apple-sized stone off the road in her hoof and chucked it full-force at the chaos god before she even realized it was happening. “Don’t call me a KID!”

The stone was right on target, striking Discord right between the eyes. Or it would have, if it hadn’t sailed right through his forehead and out the other side instead. Discord himself didn’t even flinch, except to raise an eyebrow. “Really? Throwing rocks? Come now, if you’ll remember our agreement from last time, a little mutual respect is required if I’m going to speak to you like an adult. So please, do try to curb that testosterone in your veins just a smidgen.”

Apple Bloom’s mouth set into another snarl. “Ah remember our ‘agreement’ just fine, and we never said anythang about turnin’ me into a boy!”

“We didn’t not say anything about it.”

“Don’t twist mah words around! Ah said Ah wished there was a new boy in class and instead ya did this to me, you… you big liar!”

“Liar?” Discord gasped, slowly clutching his heart. “Liar? Now that one really does hurt. I may be many things, young lady, but a liar is not one of them.”

“Oh, that’s a bunch of bullcrap!” Apple Bloom accused. “What about that time ya made everypony think you were sick an’ ran the princesses ragged? That was all one big lie!”

“Oh, that? Pfft, that was just an elaborate prank. Not the same thing at all.”

“It is so the same thing! It was all one big joke ta you!”

“Yes, exactly. Jokes are only temporary lies. That’s what makes them funny! But if the lie is never exposed, there’s no punch-line. If there’s no punch-line, the lie is sealed forever, regardless of humorous intent.” Discord’s face turned deathly serious for a moment. “Lies are not funny.”

Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. “Uh-huh. Then explain how me askin’ fer a new boy in class an’ then you turnin’ me into a boy ain’t lyin’!”

“Hmph. Well it’s not my fault you had such specific conditions. I couldn’t create a new pony out of thin air, I couldn’t bring in a substitute teacher or a guest speaker, he had to actually be part of the class…” Discord smiled innocently. “What else could I have done?”

“Ya coulda said all that in the first place!”

“But that wouldn’t have been nearly as funny!”

“Augh, that so counts as lying!” Apple Bloom nearly screamed.

“Does not.”

“Does too! Jus’ cause ya didn’t technically say nothin’ that wasn’t true, that ain’t the only kinda lie! Tellin’ a bunch a half-truths, whaddaya call that, huh?! That’s lies of… of… om… omis…”

“Lies of omission?” Discord finished for her, and then laughed in her face. “Lies of omission don’t exist.”

“Not according to mah sister!”

“Then you’re both wrong,” Discord said, waving his hand dismissively. “The concept is such a mortal one, as an old acquaintance of mine would say. You write these stories in your heads about ‘the truth,’ and then make all these big emotional demands of it. Particularly of those in possession of it, as though you think you’re entitled to the facts, which is so very childish. You can never know all the facts. Only I can. And since it’s impossible for me to reveal all the facts to you, it’s my discretion alone that decides which facts will be revealed in the short time we have together.”

A finger of Discord’s lion paw pressed against Apple Bloom’s muzzle. “So if I don’t happen to volunteer information that you deem critical to your fate… well, it possibly means I’m a scoundrel, yes, but it does not mean I am a liar. And it certainly means you didn’t ask the right questions.”

Apple Bloom growled and batted his paw away. “That’s such a huge load o’ manure.”

Discord pondered that for a moment, and then threw back his head with a hearty laugh. “Yes, well, the guy who said it was known for being a bit of a pretentious prick. But don’t worry, he’s dead now. Probably.”

Apple Bloom stamped her hooves again. “Rrrrrgh, Ah don’t care about any o’ this! You knew what Ah really meant when we made that deal, y’all just did this ta mess with me!”

Discord’s mouth curled into a coy grin. “Maybe a little.”

“So you admit it!”

“Oh come on, is this really so bad? So you’re of the male persuasion now, big deal. I could have turned you into a tap-dancing turnip, you know,” he said, briefly conjuring a chorus line of the vegetable in question to dance between them. “Or something far worse, if I was feeling vindictive. If anything I should be praised for my restraint.”

“S’cuse me if Ah hold mah applause!”

Discord waggled a talon in front of her face. “Tsk tsk, now you’re just being selfish again. I did this for the good of more ponies than just yourself, you know. You did say you wanted everypony else in your class to have a fair shot at the ‘new boy.’”

“But--…nnhh…” Apple Bloom trailed off and gritted her teeth, frustration bubbling up and over her anger. “That’s not exactly what…”

“They deserve the chance to relieve their seasonal hormones too, don’t they?” Discord reasoned, smiling and leaning closer to her. “And admit it, isn’t that what this was really all about? It wasn’t a boyfriend you actually wanted, or you would have just asked for one directly. What you really wanted was an escape from those urges crippling you and every other filly in town. And isn’t that exactly what I’ve given you?”

“Boys ain’t exactly free an’ clear either…” Apple Bloom argued half-heartedly.

“Yes, but it’s not the same, is it?” Discord said with a knowing smile. “An extra smattering of impure thoughts here and there and a bit more visually-obvious set of genitals, yes. But that ache, that burning, the overwhelming desire, that stifling, all-encompassing heat… all gone. Isn’t that what you really wanted?”

“W-well… yes, but…”

“But what? Please, I’m actually curious now. What is it that’s just so dreadfully terrible about being male, hm? Come on, tell me. ‘But’ what?”

“But Ah’m not male!” Apple Bloom shouted, finally finding her voice again. “Ah’m a girl! Ah don’t belong in this body! Ah don’t want to be a boy forever!”

“Well, if you’d rather go back to being a girl crippled by estrus--”

“NO!” Apple Bloom shouted, so loud that she surprised even herself. “Ah… Ah mean, no. Ah just… Ah wanted ta get away from estrus, but Ah wasn’t expectin’ this.”

“And what were you expecting, exactly? Some mysterious stranger to stroll right up to you and sweep you off your hooves? Or at least bend you over?”

Disgust filled her expression immediately. “Eeewwww, no!”

“I didn’t think so.” Discord smiled, far too widely for Apple Bloom’s liking. “Well, can’t say I didn’t at least ask, but if the answer’s really ‘no,’ then I guess there’s no problem after all! Whew, that’s such a load off my mind. So glad we had this talk, my dear.”

“H-hey, wait, Ah didn’t say--!”

“Well, I must be off, things to do, ponies to see,” Discord talked over her, dusting his hands off and climbing onto a bicycle that he’d spawned from somewhere beyond the edge of Apple Bloom’s vision. “I’m sure you know how it is, you’ve got to get off to school, after all! But do keep me posted!”

“Don’t you run away from me, Ah’m still a boy, damnit!” Apple Bloom shouted, starting swiftly toward him again.

“That you are.” Discord smirked at her behind a pair of driving goggles that had poofed into existence over his eyes. “And for all your blustering, you’re enjoying it. Or you would have told me to change you back the second you saw me. Instead, you haven’t asked at all.”

Apple Bloom froze, wide-eyed and gob-smacked. “…Th…th-that…”

Discord didn’t give her time to collect herself, his smirk growing as he waved to her. “I’ll check back again in a couple of days. Toodles!” He jingled the bell on the bike’s handlebars, and before Apple Bloom could form another coherent word he was gone, pedaling away into the sunrise.

“Y-you… you…!” Apple Bloom sputtered, far too late to be heard. “Get back here, you backstabbin’ lunatic! Ah’m not done with you yet, you hear me?! Get back here!”

There was nothing to be done about it, though. Discord was a speck on the horizon now, gone once again, and with him her only chance to put everything back to normal, thanks in no small part to her own stupidity. She’d been so busy getting angry and arguing with him about the exact wording of their deal the other day that it never even crossed her mind to actually demand that he return her to normal. If anything she’d done the exact opposite. Which was precisely his point, wasn’t it? When asked if she wanted to go back to being the way she was, estrus and all, she’d refused immediately and vehemently. Instead of making him turn her female again without estrus, or giving her the new colt she’d actually wanted, she simply said ‘no’ and left it at that. Now Apple Bloom would remain stuck in a colt body, for who knew how much longer until Discord showed his face again, and she had nopony to blame for it but herself.

“Rrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuggghhhh!!!”Apple Bloom bellowed at the top of her voice, kicking stones and grinding her teeth and doing just about anything else she could think of to vent the boiling fury that the god of chaos had left her with…

“What in the name of Celestia are you screaming at, blank flank?”

Apple Bloom’s ears twitched, and if it was possible, her frown grew even deeper.

Oh, no.

Not now.

Not her.

Apple Bloom turned toward the voice, and sadly her feeling of dread was confirmed. Diamond Tiara was walking up the road to the schoolhouse, flanked as usual by Silver Spoon. For some reason neither of them looked to be in much better of a mood than Apple Bloom; annoyance and frustration was written all over their faces, their coats looked like they needed a good pass with a brush, and the usual smug smiles that Apple Bloom longed to wipe off their faces every time she saw them were already missing. Silver Spoon in particular looked extra disgruntled; the usual neat braid in her off-white mane was coming apart, she was keeping a greater distance than usual between herself and Diamond Tiara, and the annoyed look on her bespectacled face seemed like it was directed at Diamond more than anypony else. Had the two of them been fighting? Apple Bloom wasn’t sure that was even possible. They were like Snips and Snails, virtually inseparable, like two halves of the same pony.

“I think turning into a colt must have scrambled your brains,” Diamond carried on, looking in the direction Apple Bloom had been raging. “There’s nothing over there.”

Apple Bloom bit her lip to hold back a snarl. “Back off, Diamond, Ah’m not in the mood.”

Diamond ignored her. “How in Equestria did you turn into a colt, anyway?” she said. “I mean, not that you needed any help being a complete freak, but even for you this is a bit much.”

“Ah said back off!” Apple Bloom shouted, raising herself up to her full height and looming over the other two fillies.

“Diamond…!” Silver Spoon hissed, glaring at her friend even more harshly.

Apple Bloom barely heard it; she was so mad at this point she was seeing red. Her sister’s punishment had been bad enough, making a mess of herself with that wet dream ruined her morning the moment it began, and after being played for a fool by Discord yet again, her patience was gone. She was not going to put up with Diamond Tiara’s garbage, not this time. She took a deep breath through her nose to tell the little brat off once and for all--

Wait. What was that smell?

Apple Bloom stopped and frowned in thought for a moment. She knew that scent. She’d smelled it before. Recently, too. And it smelled like it was coming from Diamond and Silver…

As Apple Bloom hesitated, Silver Spoon moved forward and tried to step between her and Diamond Tiara, tugging on one of her friend’s pale pink legs. “Di, knock it off, come on, we talked about this--”

“And I told you, no!” Diamond snapped and yanked her hoof free, abruptly turning a much deeper, hot pink. “I wouldn’t spend time with this blank flank if you paid me!”

“Stop callin’ me a blank flank!” Apple Bloom roared over her, shoving her forehead against Diamond’s so roughly her namesake jewelry was knocked clear out of her mane.

“Eww, don’t touch me, you freak!” Diamond shouted back, shoving Apple Bloom away.

That was the last straw. In the blink of an eye Apple Bloom tackled Diamond Tiara to the ground, the pair landing in a tangled heap of limbs just inside the outer fence of the schoolhouse property. Diamond immediately let out an incensed shriek, her hooves flailing randomly to try to smack Apple Bloom off her. At least one managed to strike Apple Bloom across the cheek, hard enough to leave a faint hoof-shaped imprint and sting something fierce, but Apple Bloom wouldn’t budge, instead snatching the offending hoof and twisting it around until it couldn’t move any further. Diamond shrieked again, out of pain this time, and kicked wildly with her hind legs in an attempt to buck her off, forcing Apple Bloom to twist and squirm to avoid getting bucked right in the boy-junk.

“Hey, get off her, that’s my best friend!”

Apple Bloom barely had time to register the battle-cry before Silver Spoon joined the fray with a head-butt to Apple Bloom’s flank. It didn’t break her grip on Diamond, but the momentum did knock her over, and so all three fillies went tumbling across the school’s front lawn, kicking and screaming and biting and yanking as they wound themselves up into an even bigger ball of jumbled legs. They were far more fierce brawlers than Apple Bloom would have expected from a couple of prissy rich kids, but she was still certain she could handle them both. If only she could just get a few seconds to--

“What in the world is going on here?!”

All three of them froze, the piercing voice of authority ending the scuffle in an instant. As one, they all turned their heads, and simultaneously gasped in horror as they saw the shocked face of Miss Cheerilee staring down at them.

“I don’t believe this, what has gotten into you three?!” Cheerilee said.

“She started it!” the fillies all said at once, each pointing an accusing hoof at one of the others.

“I don’t care who started it! We settle our differences with words, not violence!” Cheerilee scolded, glaring at each of them in turn, and particularly strongly at Apple Bloom. “I expected better of you. All of you.”

“But--!”

“She--!”

“I don’t want to hear it,” Cheerilee said, cutting them off with a firm wave of her hoof and pointing at the school’s front doors. “Get inside and clean up for class, right now. All three of you will be staying after school for detention.”

“But she knocked my tiara in the dirt!”

“She punched my best friend!”

“She tried ta kick me in the balls!”

Cheerilee wasn’t moved. “I don’t want to hear excuses. Inside. Now.”

Apple Bloom fell silent, and although she and Diamond Tiara continued to glare absolute venom at one another, she knew she was stuck. She couldn’t argue with Miss Cheerilee any more than she could argue with her sister.

“This isn’t over, blank flank,” Diamond growled under her breath as they untangled themselves.

“Just mah luck,” Apple Bloom grumbled back, before promptly ignoring her and marching stiffly inside.

Detention.

With Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.

Great.

Could this day get any worse?

Author's Note

Virtual cookies to whoever can guess the identity of Discord's "acquaintance" and the source of his little monologue.

Hint: It's not Q.

Hardmode: no googling!