“Stop fretting Twilight, you look great!” Spike tweaked his own bow tie and grinned in the mirror before turning to Twilight. “If Rarity catches the bouquet, that means she has to get married, right? I mean, that’s the rules isn’t it?”
Twilight just glowered back at Spike, looking down at her dress which seemed to be riding higher on her flanks than she wanted, resulting in a rather frumpy look. Her mane was a mess too, she could feel her head continuing to pound from lack of sleep, a twitch in her right eye… Everyone thought it was just nerves from excitement at the oncoming marriage of her brother, but that wasn’t it, not at all.
It was the dreams. Those strange, horrible dreams that kept her awake all night, that had plagued her ever since the news of Shining Armor’s engagement to Cadence. She didn’t understand them; strange, surreal dreams in which she was little more than an ant, powerless against some upcoming force. Then they got worse and worse, odder and odder until finally, she had broken down and taken her woes to a psychiatrist.
It was not something Twilight liked to admit – she did, after all, have a reputation as Equestria’s premier student of magic to uphold! So she secretly attended session after session at Ms Slip’s practise, spilling out her thoughts and dreams and woes on the couch. Ms Slip had to depart on sudden business, but had promised to send through her final analysis on Twilight’s mental state as soon as possible.
“Maybe I can pay Cadence to throw the bouquet at Rarity…” Spike continued, stroking his chin. “Or set up some complex pulley system, or…” he started to spasm as a gout of flames rushed from his mouth and a single, neatly folded letter materialised into being.
Before Spike could take it, Twilight telekinetically snatched the letter away, trembling slightly as she opened it. This was it. She would discover what was wrong with her – perhaps she was mad, or was having premonitions of great disaster, or had a weird split personality or…
Her eyes trailed over the letter, struggling to decipher the spidery scrawl on the paper. Slowly, comprehension dawned, and she almost dropped the letter in shock.
My dearest Twilight,
After much deliberation over the meaning of your dreams, and cross-referencing all our conversations against past case notes, I have come to one incontrovertible conclusion: you have an incest fetish.
Do not be shocked or alarmed. This is a perfectly natural thing that many ponies have, but keeping it bottled up is bad for you. Thus I encourage you to act upon these impulses in order to return to a healthy lifestyle.
Yours
Freudian Slip
PS That will be 500 bits please
Twilight slowly crumpled the letter and dropped it to the floor, her face a mask of shock. An incest fetish? Her? She thought the dreams were strange, but this was too much!
And yet – Freudian Slip was an expert, her judgement was beyond reproach! And the timing made sense too – was this a reaction to the loss of her brother to another mare? Her thoughts turned to Shining Armor, her brave, handsome brother. He had always been there by her side ever since she was a little filly, giving her rides on his back, going camping together, playing endless games of hide and seek. He had been her world, her everything, and yet she had drifted so far away…
She glanced across the room to a table, upon which lay the wedding invitation, the picture of her brother on the cover almost staring into her soul. Her heart began to flutter and she gasped for air. It was true, all true, she had to stop denying it.
“Spike!” she croaked out. “We’ve got to get to the church now!”
***
Twilight had originally planned to reach the church much later, just before the ceremony was due to start. She wasn’t one for idle conversation especially at family affairs, but a family conversation was all she could think about now. As her coach rattled through the streets, she filtered out Spike’s incessant droning and instead rehearsed the conversation she’d have with her brother.
It was simple. She would march up to him and declare her undying love. He would realise the error of his ways and they would ride off together to make sweet forbidden love. Even thinking about it, admitting it to herself felt like a great weight had been lifted. “Soon!” she murmured, hugging the wedding invitation to her chest. She had already torn off the picture of Cadence that also adorned the front, leaving only the image of her brother. “Soon!”
“Yeah!” Spike exclaimed, peeking excitedly out of the window. “We’ll be there soon! I love a good wedding! Cadence is such a lucky mare!”
As the coach screeched to a halt, a small purple dragon could be seen to hurtle through one of its windows to land in a nearby bush. The door flew upon and Twilight tumbled out, her dress crumpled and tattered in her eagerness to dash towards the church.
Above her she could see the gigantic emblem of Celestia atop the building. The sun was streaming brightly today, a sure sign of favour from the sun goddess (Twilight had written to her earlier in the week asking for a bit of nice weather). Ponies had already started to congregate outside , milling about in small groups, chatting about the weather and the upcoming nuptials.
“Twilight, my Twilight!” from the corner of her eye, Twilight saw her mother step towards her, her aged face creasing with joy. “Oh my baby, you made it!” She opened her hooves for a hug.
Twilight had no time to stop though – by the doors of the church she could see her brother about to enter! She had to speak to him before his doom was sealed! “Not now mother!” she cried, swatting her to the ground with a blast of magic, hooves racing over her fallen body in her eagerness to reach her true love.
“Shining Armor! Shining Armor!” Twilight gasped, face bright red from the exertion as she skidded to a halt, panting for air as she leaned her tattered dress against the stonework, looking up at her brother. He was magnificent – a true example of stallionhood from his chiselled good looks to his perfect mane. Her heart started racing even harder than from the run as she dreaming looked into his eyes. It felt so right at last to be able to put a name to these feelings. “I… I love you!” she blurted out.
Shining Armor just smiled and gave her a quick nuzzle. “And I love you too little sister,” he replied, before turning to enter the church.
Twilight could only look on in horror, waving a hoof in anguish as her one true love left her side. As the organ music from inside welled to invite the guests in, Twilight felt a pit open in her stomach, and she slumped to the floor. She couldn’t stop the wedding now, could she? What would happen if she raced into the hall, yelling ‘stop the wedding!’ and proclaimed her undying love in front of everyone. He’d have to accept her then, wouldn’t he! It would be rude not to!
Except… except Cadence would be there! Cadence, the pony who had stolen her poor brother’s heart, stolen her from him! Her hooves twitched in anger at the unfairness of it all. If only she had realised her love earlier, it would have been her in Cadence’s place!
As the last of the guests piled into the hall, Twilight slowly stood up. An idea had formed in her mind. A fantastic, perfect idea.
In front of her, another coach pulled up, this one a pure pink inlaid with gold. Out of it stepped one of the most stunning ponies Twilight had ever seen. A tall svelte alicorn, her every motion full of grace and perfection, her hair a medley of yellows and purples and pinks, and the sweetest smile that had ever existed in Equestria.
To Twilight, she might as well have been the devil.
“Hey Cadence!” Twilight gritted her teeth and stepped in front of her brother’s pride, craning her stubby neck to look up at the beauty before her. “Can we talk?”
“Oh, Twilight,” Cadence trilled, looking down at the small purple pony. “I’d love to, but I’m about to get married!” She flashed another smile and fluttered her long, luscious eyelashes.
Twilight narrowed her eyes. “Yes, it’s about that Cadence. Just follow me over here. It’s important…”
***
Cadence followed Twilight into a small outbuilding next to the church, a frown on her face. “What’s wrong Twilight, what have you got to tell me?”
Twilight slowly closed the door behind them with a click. It was a small storage building, used to hold various items that the church couldn’t fit. Tables and chairs were stacked up by the walls next to boxes full of clutter and bric-a-brac. There was even a pile of bin-bags, but Twilight knew where the real garbage in the room was.
“So you’re going to marry my brother are you…” Twilight sweetly smiled, walking around the confused Cadence. “How nice for you, Princess WHORE!” From nowhere there was a flash of magic, and a sock with half a brick in it whirled in a circle and struck Cadence on the head. The taller pony squealed and fell back with a stumble.
“W-what? Twilight!” Cadence gasped dazedly as she tried and failed to clamber back to her hooves. “W-what are you talking about?”
“Oh, I know…” Twilight leered closer to Cadence. “You hussy! You wanted to steal him from me with your poisonous ladyparts! Trying to marry my brother?! Is there no low you won’t stoop to?” She swung the sock down hard.
Cadence’s world went black.
***
For the second time, the organist started to play ‘Here comes the bride’. The ponies inside the church chattered nervously to themselves, all eyes at the doorway, which had been lacking in a bride for the past ten minutes. Shining Armor stood at the end of the aisle, sweating and trembling, looking side to side for assurance.
Finally, just as all hope seemed to be lost, the doors burst open and his bride, the perfect, the wonderful Cadence strode into the hall. Every pony present gave a sharp intake of breath and started to applaud loudly while the organ triumphantly played.
Cadence slowly shuffled past the rows and rows of ponies. Her dress seemed to be ill-fitting, torn in places and oddly too long, causing her to continually trip and stumble on the material that dragged along the floor. Her face was covered by a large white veil, and she kept walking into the pews, bumping along and mumbling apologies, but never once lifting it to make sure where she was going. Her normally pure pink coat looked slightly dappled, as if it had been covered with a dusting of flour, her wings seemed to resemble two paper plates tied to her side, and most strangely of all, she seemed to have lost a foot in height.
But in the adrenaline of the moment, everyone was just glad to see her there.
Shining Armor breathed a sigh of relief as Cadence joined him at the altar. “I thought you were never going to show up!” he sighed, giving a smile towards his bride. Cadence didn’t reply. She just stood there, tapping her hooves impatiently.
As the organist finished his performance, the priest took a step forwards. “Fillies and gentlecolts!” he began. “We are gathered here in the sight of our glorious Goddess Celestia to join these two ponies in holy matrimony. Now, I will begin the traditionally lengthy and boring speech in which – oof!”
The priest suddenly collapsed, panting for air and clutching the area between his legs. Cadence withdrew her hoof, grabbed the priest by the neck, and angrily whispered several words into his ear.
The priest stood up, coughed and straightened his collar. He turned to Shining Armor. “Ah. Uh. Shining Armor, do you take this pony to be your wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health.”
Shining Armor beamed at this, the proudest moment of his entire life. “I do!” he announced in front of all his family and friends.
The priest turned to Cadence. “And do you take Shining Armor to be your husband? To honour and ob-“ he trailed off as the bride made another motion towards him. “To ah, be your husband?”
“I do!” came the muffled voice from under the veil.
The priest spread his hooves. “Then I now pronounce you stallion and wife! You may kiss th-“ He didn’t get to finish, as he was bowled over by Cadence who leapt upon Shining Armor, wrestling him to the ground and grinding her veil against his mouth hard.
“Whoa whoa, calm down dear!” Shining Armor blushed furiously, giving a nervous wave to his parents as he tried to push Cadence off him. “We can uh, go straight to the hotel…”
***
“That was a lovely day!” Shining Armor smiled, lounging on the plush bed of the honeymoon suite. Everything had all passed in such a blur! Straight after the wedding Cadence had manhandled him out of the church and into a coach, ordering the driver to race straight to the hotel. They had barely said a word to each other, but the sultry panting under her veil was all that Shining Armor needed to know.
“I’ve been waiting a long time for this!” Cadence’s muffled voice came through from the bathroom, and Cadence, clad in her wedding dress, started to trot seductively towards him. Or it would be seductive if she hadn’t kept tripping on her dress.
“I’ve waited a long time too, baby!” Shining Armor smiled back, raising an eyebrow, his heart throbbing in anticipation. At the back of his mind there was the smallest thought that something might be wrong, but his heart was throttled by desire, and he pushed such thoughts to the fore.
From behind Cadence, four hoofcuffs floated, slowly moving over Shining Armor’s hooves and locking around them tightly. Shining Armor gave a start, and then a wide grin. “Oh boy, going to make the first time extra special, you saucy sweetheart?” he gasped, as the cuffs shimmered with magic, yanking his limbs in all directions as they attached to the corners of the bed.
Shining Armor trembled, helpless now as he craned his neck to the foot of the bed. Cadence slowly alighted, and then straddled him, pressing her warm body to his. A squeak caught in his throat as she started to rock back and forth, feeling her haunches pressed hard against him, his own desire rising.
“O-oh Cadence!” he moaned, as Cadence kissed his chest, grinding her hips against his rising member until it was agonisingly hard. He whimpered as her soft warm body pressed against it, and gazed longingly at her veil. “Oh, I love you Cadence!”
“Don’t say that slut’s name here!” With one motion, Twilight flung off the veil to reveal herself to the helpless Shining Armor. His eyes bulged in horror as he took in the scene – his sister wearing a tattered wedding dress, grinding hard against his helpless body. Her purple coat had been dusted with flour to make it appear pink, and two paper plates were tied to her sides. “Hello brother,” she smiled, her eyes full of lust as she leaned in to kiss his struggling face.
Shining Armor tried to twist away as Twilight pressed her mouth to his, but it was to no avail. His cries were muffled by her tongue as it slipped down his throat, bucking his body up and down to try to throw her off. Twilight stayed put though, her thighs clamped around him, and to his horror he realised he was still so very hard, his painfully stiff member pressed against his sister’s body, spasms being sent through his twitching body at every touch. He tried to close his eyes to think of something, anything, to defuse the feeling, but it wouldn’t go away.
Twilight pulled her mouth off his and looked down at him, positioning her entrance above him. “N-no!” he yelped out in terror. “Twilight, no, please!”
Twilight just smiled as sexily as she could, brushing her hooves over her tangled mane. “Shh shh shh” she motioned with her hoof, pressing it over his face as she struggled against his bonds. “Don’t worry, I’ve saved you from that crazy mare! I threw her down the sewers; it will take her ages to find her way out. Maybe she’ll realise she belongs down there with all the filth. . Now…” she rested her hooves on his chest, pressing down slightly harder on the tip of his member with her warm slit. “Now we’re married and nopony can get in the way of our love! You’re free to give me your babies! Make me a mare!”
Shining Armor just screamed.
***
Twilight clapped her hooves together happily and lay back on the psychiatrist’s couch. “And so after a good few hours of going at it, I think I finally worked through all my issues! I mean sure my brother had to go into that home, my parents aren’t talking to me and I have to wear that ankle tag now; but I feel it’s done my mental state a world of good! You were right, I had to confront my incest fetish head-on, and I think I’m a better pony for it!”
Freudian Slip just sat on her chair, her pen hovering over her pad of paper, mouth slightly ajar. Finally, she spoke. “Y-you mean i-insect fetish.”
Twilight’s happy face suddenly twisted into a frown. “Uh, what?”
“Insect fetish!” Freudian Slip showed Twilight her notepad, full of twisted, scrawling writing. “You have an insect fetish, Twilight! Didn’t you read my letter?”
Twilight scrunched her face up in concentration, thinking back. “No, I mean… I…” She paused. “Ooh wait, I guess that would explain all the dreams about me being a spider and having spiderbabies?”
Freudian Slip just nodded, suddenly pale as a sheet. “I put a leaflet in the envelope too Twilight. Lots of ponies have insect fetishes. There’s clubs you can go to. You can dress up as a ladybug and meet other ponies with similar interests…”
Twilight pondered this some more. Her head started to bob as she recounted in her mind the events of the past few days. A look of dawning comprehension slowly played over her features. A hoof shot to her mouth.
“Well…” she finally uttered as she looked across at her psychiatrist. “Same time next week, I guess?”
