Adventure Anon

by Bastinator

Rating: teen
Tags: Sex, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human
Length: 34526

Anon's not your typical adventurer, actually, quite the opposite. He's pompous, arrogant, hateful even cruel, but he gets the job done. After taking a stop at Ponyville he begins an adventure that doesn't go as planned.

Anon's not your typical adventurer, actually, quite the opposite. He's pompous, arrogant, hateful even cruel, but he gets the job done. After taking a stop at Ponyville he begins an adventure that doesn't go as planned.

Sex only goes for the non-descriptive scenes in the first chapter.

Published 2013-11-19 01:40:05 UTC
Last updated 2013-11-26 16:24:54 UTC

Chapter 2: Hospitals Blow

You struggle against your constraints helplessly, your muscles not responding. ”Please don’t do that, you’re going to hurt yourself worse.”

Worse! How the fuck could things get any worse! A brace holds your jaw against you as you grunt frantically. You’re going to kill them! You’re going to make them wish they were never born! Once you get out of here, you’ll head back to Los Pegasus and exact your revenge. There will be no place for them to hide.

Twilight’s talking with Fluttershy, making sure to keep their voices hushed. ”Guess ya didn’t kill that dragon huh?”

Her snide remark only fuels your rage. You fight at the restraints, the sheer pain keeping you down. ”Whoa now, don’t get your saddle in a twist.” Death, so much death.

The doctor enters, carrying his clipboard. ”Anon, well this is a surprise. We didn’t expect you to come ‘round.” Real reassuring.

”Is he going to make it Dr. Stable?”

”Given enough time, yes he should recover, but he’s been through so much…” Don’t pander about, you asshole, give it to me straight. He picks up on your glare, shuffling a bit. ”It’s not necessarily- a full recovery.” You mother fucker. You fix me up you piece of shit! Damn these bindings, damn Equestria! ”You’ll live, but your adventuring days are over.” He draws up some diagrams, showing various parts of your body. ”I thought you’d wind up in the morgue with these injuries. You’re a resilient young man.” And you’re head’s going to find what the inside of your ass feels like if you don’t fix me up.

He points out several injuries to the p0nies, marking where the damage was sustained. ”If he takes things easy and lets himself heal, he’ll be up and walking in no more than six months.” You don’t fucking have six months! They’ll be gone by the time you get out.

”So he’s going to be here for that time?”

”I’m afraid so ma’am. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have other patients to attend to.” You grunt in response as he leaves you with the others. It’s pointless, you’re going to be stuck here whether you like it or not.

”Poor Anon, not so mighty anymore now are ya.”

”Applejack please, he’s been through a lot.”

”You heard what he’s done! Been here just a day and caused so much harm. He deserves this.”

Well fuck you too lady. ”No one deserves this, not even after what he did. Besides aren’t you forgetting? He saved Fluttershy.”

”No doubt in his foolish act of heroics.”

Bitch, you’re a hero, it ain’t an act. ”Regardless, we should help him. It’s not right to just let him sit here.”

”And why in Equestria would we do that?”

”Because that’s what we do. There’s good deep in there somewhere, we just have to find it.” A nurse enters the room, carrying an IV along with her. ”Good evening Nurse Redheart.”

”Same to you Twilight.”

She plants the IV down next to you, grabbing the end. She pulls out the needle, pressing it against your arm. Fuck that bitch! You squirm relentlessly forcing her to pull back. ”Please be still, I need to insert the IV.”

Applejack chuckles, “What? Anon afraid of a little needle?”

You struggle against the brace, freeing yourself from its restraint. “Fuck you Applejack!”

”Anon please, let me put that brace back on.”

”You can piss of lady. I’m not letting you touch me.”

The nurse backs the fuck off, but looks back to those two other stupid ponies, “Twilight, Rarity. A little help?”

Their horns illuminate, though their efforts are for not. “You can’t hold me back.”

Twilight’s stunned, hopefully frying a brain cell or two in the process, ”You…”

“Cat lost her tongue?”

Applejack steps up next to you, pressing down on your stomach. You clench your teeth painfully and arch back. This gives the nurse enough time to latch you back into your cast and insert the IV. Struggling only leads to more pain, and they wait for you to die down.

”We’ll be back tomorrow Anon. Stay well.”

That’s right you better leave. I didn’t even want you here! The door closes, the lights losing their glow. Fuck Ponyville.

You sit there for hours unable to sleep. How does anyone just sit here? It’s so boring. The clock ticks away, birds chirping outside. You hear a slight creak, shooting your head over to the door. A shadow slips inside, darting at incredible speeds. The culprit joins you at your side, his voice deep and gravely. “I heard what happened. I’m sorry.” The fuck? He pulls out a book and turns on the light, making himself behind the lamp. ”This helped me get through my time here.”

Daring Do? He’s not seriously going to… He begins reading it, his voice fluctuating between high and low. You just lie there and take it. You’d rather listen to the birds, at least you could cook and eat them later. He’s about an hour in when there’s a knock at the door.

”Hello, visiting hours are over. I’ll have to as-“ She spots the individual, the two staring at each other. “Security!”

”I’ll finish this later,” he says flying out of the room’s window. Damn, as soon as things started getting interesting.

The nurse comes over to you, “Are you alright?” You nod, earning a smile in return. ”Good, I wouldn’t want her to have all the fun.” Wait what? She pulls out a vial, the milky yellow substance churning your stomach. ”Do you know what this is?” You nod, being quite familiar with the stuff. “And you know what it’ll do to you if I put it in here don’t you?” You nod having experienced its effects the hard way.

She takes out her syringe, drawing out a substantial amount of it. “Hydra venom is hard to find around these parts, thankfully Zecora was willing to part with a vial.” She penetrates the IV, placing her hoof on the plunger. ”I can’t let you just walk out after what you did to that child.” You squirm slightly as she presses down on the plunger, the liquid mixing with the IV’s contents. ”I’ll see you in the morning Anon.” She gives you a peck on the head, turning and leaving the room. All you can do is wait, watching as the venom rolls into you. You feel your mind drift away as you slip into a deep sleep.

You begin to stir once more, a purple hoof waving in front of you. ”Anon, are you okay?” Like she said, she’d be back. She’s here with Applejack and Fluttershy again, Nurse Redheart nowhere to be seen. You shake your head, looking down at your cast pleadingly. ”You want me to take it off?”

”Don’t do it sugarcube, don’t give him the pleasure.”

”Maybe he needs to tell you something?” Fluttershy peeps.

She takes a deep breathe, moving your cast out of the way. “Closer,” you whisper, trying not to alert the nurses. You can feel the effects fire back up, your limbs heating up.

She places her head next to yours, “Yes?”

“Get me the hell out of here.”

She sighs moving away, “You really haven’t learned anything yet have you?”

She’s about to turn away and leave. “Please!” The words hurt just to say. She looks at you, your eyes begging for her help. You won’t last another hour with this stuff pumping through your veins.

”What do you want me to do?”

”Twilight you can’t be serious now? He’s a monster.”

”He’s trying to reach out, Applejack. This is the chance we need.”

”He’s tryin to play you, don’t ya see?”

God you hate that apple cunt! “If you don’t get me out of here now, I’m never leaving this hospital alive.”

They both eye you suspiciously, “And what exactly do ya mean by that?”

You can’t exactly tell them that your nurse poisoned you. They’d never believe that. You look at the IV, its tainted liquid trickling in your veins. “It’s that.”

”A needle ain’t gonna kill ya you big babby.”

“It’s not the needle you dumb cunt!”

”That’s no way to ask for help.”

You take a deep breath, your lungs stinging as the venom continues to work inside your veins, “It’s what’s inside that’s killing me.”

”Good try, but I’m not falling for it.”

“Please, you have to trust me.”

”Trust goes both ways Anon, and you haven’t given us that chance.” Fitting that you’d die in a hospital. You lean back in your bed defeated. Fluttershy takes a closer look at the IV, taking a dollop and tasting it.

She spits out the substance, and gives a look of horror. ”Oh no…” She yanks out the IV, a stream of blood jetting from your arm. Flying over to the medicine cabinet she rummages through its contents, tossing vials away without a thought.

”Fluttershy what’s gotten into you?”

”No time.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhe…” Your mouth numbs, the heat pulsing through you.

”Got it.” She hovers back over to you, pressing a vial to your lips, the grotesque liquid flowing into you. It hits you like a train, regaining feeling in your body and quenching the heat. You gag, the taste still ghastly.

“Fucking finally. Someone who helps me.”

You breathe deeply, taking in the scent of life. ”Are you alright?” Fluttershy asks.

“Been better.”

Twilight and the others are stunned and perplexed, their primal brains not even understanding what just transpired, ”You- I- What-“

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

Fluttershy stays quiet, knowing that you’re right. ”Fluttershy?”

”You wouldn’t believe me.”

“Like I said.” Fluttershy applies pressure on your wound to stop the bleeding, unknowingly sending pain shooting up your arm. “For fucks sake, be a little more careful.” She gives you a pained expression and backs away, your blood flowing out again. “Well don’t stop!” You’re conflicting order confuses her as she lightly presses down on the vein. “Thanks Fluttershy, you’re a life saver. Literally.” You relax, crisis averted.

Bullshit, you can’t rest! That bitch almost killed you before, you need to get out of here. “Alright Twilight, are you going to get me out of here or not?” She’s still processing the entirety of what just happened. “Earth to Twilight. You home?” She escapes from her thoughts looking back at you.

”I- I don’t know. Where could you go?”

”He sure as hay ain’t bunking with me.”

“I wouldn’t give you the pleasure.” You hiss painfully, arms struggling against your binds.

”Both of you stop it. Your banter isn’t getting us anywhere.”

“I will if she will.”

”I will if you will.”

”I’ll take him.” Fluttershy squeaks.

”Until we figure this out you aren’t going anywhere,” Twilight says.

”He can stay with me,” she says again a bit louder this time.

”Good luck with that. Like anyp0ny would care for his flank.”

Fluttershy shuts her eyes, ”I said I’ll take him!” Twilight and Applejack are speechless from her outburst. Fluttershy bows down a little, “I mean, if that’s alright…”

”You sure sugarcube? Ya don’t have to.”

”I know… I want to.” Hot damn, you might get to break her in after all. Well, she might break you in the process… You now have an unnatural hatred for boulders.

”Is that alright with you Anon?”

“Suits me just fine. Just hurry it up will ya?”

”Fine, but when this is over I want an explanation.”

“Deal.”

”Applejack, can you push the bed while we steer?” She begrudgingly moves behind you, placing her hooves on the handles, leaning over you. You take in the sight, getting a nice view of her underside.

“Damn, that’s enticing.” She presses a hoof on your shoulder, shutting you up as you grimace in pain. What a bitch.

Twilight opens the door as you’re eased through and into the hall. The halls are basically empty except for the four of you. There must be a lack of boulder injuries in this wing. Leading you down the hall, you approach reception. Twilight goes to the desk and starts talking with the mare. ”I’m sorry Ms. Twilight, but there’s no way Doctor Stable would allow it.”

”I’d like to ask him myself if you don’t mind.”

”You can try, but don’t get your hopes up.” The nurse places her hoof on the intercom. ”Doctor Stable, your presence has been requested at reception.”

”Thank you,” she walks back beside you.

”I’m going to have to put that brace back on you now.”

“Fine, just don’t fuck up.” She slides it around your jaw, locking in place. You wait there until the doctor arrives. That bastard needs to hurry his happy ass up.

”Good morning, how are the three of you doing this morning.”

”Fine as always.”

”And how is our little patient?”

Fucking fabulous, I love not being able to move without cringing. Thanks for asking. ”He’s been better.” No shit lady.

”I’m guessing you are the ones who called me down in the first place?”

”Yes we were. I’d like to request that Anon be moved, somewhere outside of the hospital. The doctor gives her one look and shakes his head.

”Anon needs proper care Miss Twilight. I must reject your proposal.” Proper care? Your fucking nurse poisoned me you tool! You try and fight the cast again, desperate to get a word out.

”He’s hemorrhaging. Nurse!” Nurse Redheart trots over to the doctor, giving you a glance. ”Get me a sedative on the double.” You shake your head and relax, emphasizing your control.

”See doctor? He’s not getting the proper care here. If he were to stay with us-“

”He could become paralyzed completely. The repercussions could be devastating.” I don’t care, just get me out!

”He’d be in Fluttershy’s care, at least to start. She knows how to look after injured creatures right?” Fluttershy nods, the doctor sighing dejectedly.

”Who exactly would he be staying with?” Finally a sensible thought appeared in that rotting brain of his.

”Fluttershy, myself, and likely my close friends.”

”What in the hay are you on-“ Twilight forces her hoof in her mouth.

Doctor Stables eyes her suspiciously, “And they agree to it?”

”Not exactly, but they’ll come around.”

The doctor rolls his eyes, giving you a look over. ”You’d need Anon’s consent as well.”

”That we have, isn’t that right?” You nod.

”Doctor, here’s the sedative you… What’s going on here?”

”Twilight and her friends are taking custody of Anon.”

”You can’t seriously be allowing this? Think of the patient!” Bitch, go choke on a cock.

”The more I do so, the more I agree with them.”

”Sir?!”

”Anon requires constant care, and we can’t meet those demands.”

That’s right bitch, suck it. ”Twilight and her friends have proven themselves time and time again. I trust them.” How does it feel to have your plan spoiled huh?

”We’ll take good care of him Ms. Redheart.” Better than she did no doubt.

”Now, there is some paperwork you have to sign. If you’ll join me at the desk…” Fluttershy, Applejack and Twilight follow him, leaving you alone with Redheart. She glares at you, her voice hushed.

”I don’t know how you’re still breathing, but mark my words I will get you back.” Don’t make promises you can’t keep. ”The last thing you see before you die is my face, because you don’t scare me.”

You jut your head forward, the nurse recoiling. So much for not being scared. You’d laugh if it didn’t hurt to breathe. She leans closer, undoing your cast. Before you can say a word she forces her lips to yours. You can’t fight it, might as well enjoy it. Before long she pulls away, placing you cast back on you. ”You’re good, I’ll give you that. Might have to steal those lips before you die.” Okay, now that’s just downright creepy. ”See you around big boy.” She parts with you just as the others return.

Applejack looks pissed, which can only mean one thing. Someone’s getting out whose name start with ‘An’ and ends with ‘on.’

”Remember, he’s to stay in bed for the month. After that, should his condition improve, he can start moving around.” Sounds good to you, the sooner you get out, the sooner you can get revenge on those back-stabbers.

”We understand doctor.”

”And no unnecessary movement. So you’ll have to feed him, bathe him, clean him, everything you would do for a pet.”

You aren’t some animal you little shit. You’re motherfucking Anon. “We’ll take good care of him.” You will if you know what’s good for you.

He gives Fluttershy a small parcel with a pair of patient’s clothing inside. They weren’t meant to fit you, but they’re better than walking everywhere stark naked. Actually, that doesn’t sound like that bad of an idea. It removes the biggest obstacle between you and any good looking mare you see. Hell, the state you’re in, you’ll be lucky just to get to a mare, let alone with. You shake yourself from your thoughts already exiting the damned hospital. The sun… oh god the sun… Why does it have to be so bright?

You take one last look at the hospital, Nurse Redheart standing by the door. She grins, waving at you. Something about that is downright unsettling. Down the path you travel, back into Ponyville. Something tells you going back there is going to be a bad idea. All that talk you gave. You’ll be the biggest laughing stock of the town. Trixie never fucked up this bad. Fuck that’s depressing, Trixie turned out better than you. You’re going to live in eternal shame.

The p0nies stop and stare as you’re rolled through time. You can hear them gossip amongst themselves. The great hero Anon, reduced to a vegetable. ”Don’t listen to them Anon,” Fluttershy consoles you. Your entire existence has crumbled around you, leaving nothing more than a shell of a man. The worst part of it is that you can’t even confront them about it. Here you are, weakened and alone, vulnerable.

”Ya know they’re right Fluttershy. He should’ve never come here.”

”Don’t talk like that Applejack,” Twilight responds, “Things happen for a reason.” You’re pretty sure the reason isn’t to be crushed under a ton of rock. You finally get through Ponyville, following the dirt road out of town. ”Fluttershy’s cottage is outside of town so you’ll be able to rest in peace.”

You move against your cast, Fluttershy helping you out by removing it. “About time, I was going to chew through that fucking thing.”

”Anon, we have some rules of our own.”

“Oh boy, isn’t this just perfect. Hit me.” Applejack knocks you upside the head. “I didn’t mean literally you dumb cow.”

She smacks you again, “I know.”

”Rule 1: You will behave yourself. We’re giving you a chance, don’t make us regret it.”

“Whatever, next.”

”Rule 2: You will obey us to the letter, for your own safety.”

“Pfft, good luck with that.”

She glares, “And finally Rule 3: You promise to leave our town when you get better.”

“Like you have to make me promise that. You’ll be dust in the wind.”

”I’m glad we understand each other.” You come to the cottage next to the forest, a serene location if you’ve ever seen one. It’s a good place to start, but you won’t be looking back on it in the future.

”This is your last chance to turn back Fluttershy.”

”I know.”

”Ya still want to keep him sugarcube? I mean, he’s not worth the trouble after all.”

“I’m lying right here you know.”

”He sacrificed himself to save me, the least I can do is help.”

”Well, if you’re certain…” Twilight nudges Applejack off the bed, Fluttershy taking her place. “He’s all yours Fluttershy. Stay safe.” You’re pushed towards the cottage, the first stage of recovery only just beginning.

Chapter 3: 404 Shed Not Found

She rolls you towards her house. Outside you can see a contingent of critters huddled around, watching you. You give them a glare, sending them scurrying away. Damn right, you still got it. ”Oh, please don’t do that.”

You scoff at her request, resting your head against the pillow. She gets you inside, the stench of animals heavy around you. “Jesus fuck, open a window for god’s sake.”

”O- ok…” She flies over to the window, unlatching the lock and swinging it open. That’s right bitch, do my bidding. She comes back over to you, your stomach growling fiercely. ”Are you hungry?”

“No, my stomach just likes to do that.”

”I didn’t know…”

Damn she’s stupid. “Of course I’m fucking hungry! It’s called being sarcastic.”

”Oh, sorry. Just let me- umm…” She goes to the kitchen, fixing up your supper. Her cuteness makes up for her blatant retardation, but that’s cutting it close. You look around at the wooden walls, finding the place neatly clean. You’d never have guessed with that stench emanating from it. That’s probably why she doesn’t get many visitors. Or why she left in the first place. Carrying that musk around, guh, disgusting. She comes back with your food, setting it down beside you. ”I umm… hope you like it.”

You look at the bowl, then back to her, back to the bowl, back to her. ”What’s wrong?”

“I have a question, just something to get out there.”

”Alright.”

“How the fuck do you expect me to eat it?”

”Sorry, it slipped my mind.” She flies off before you can say a word, coming back with a fork. You’d facepalm if you could move your arms. Which happens to be the point you’re trying to make.

“What part of, ‘I can’t move 90% of my body’ don’t you understand?”

”Oh my, I just thought-“

“How about this. The next time you think something, don’t. Wouldn’t be changing a thing actually…” She bows her head, her eyes growing damp. “Really? Crying? Stop being such a filly.” She whimpers a little. “I’m still waiting…” She sniffs, picking up the fork, making sure not to look at you. “That’s better.”

She guides the food to your mouth shakily. You take the bite, chewing on it for a few seconds. You spew the contents all over her floor, licking the pillow to get the taste out of your mouth. “Fucking A, what did you put in this, grass?”

”Yeah… I-“ She leaves before you can verbally assault her, flying up the stairs, leaving her trail of tears. Perfect, just fucking perfect. That poison sounds good right about now.

You try to move your hand to the bowl, no amount of force working. You sigh, this shit is pissing you off. Once again you try to move a little, pain erupting in your forearm. You grunt, a tingle rushing through one of your fingers. It- it moved. You managed to move your fingers… Great success! You’ve got a long way to go, but this is something at least.

Still, it won’t help you get your food. No matter how much you try you only manage to move a few fingers. Your arms are basically inert, just dead weight. You don’t care that the foods a tasteless heap of shit, you just need something in your belly. Dammit! MOVE LIMBS! Your attention shifts to some scrapping on the floor. “Who’s there? Fluttershy?” No response. Oh god, it’s Redheart come to finish you off.

You tense for the attack that never comes. Ok… if it wasn’t her, then who? A white ball of fluff leaps onto your bed, two point ears atop its head. Damn animals don’t leave you in peace. “Git! Git!”

He stares right back at you, not intimidated by you. This fucker’s smarter than he looks. He looks at your bowl, licking his lips. A lot smarter. “Don’t you fucking you piece of shit.” He smiles, lunging into the bowl. “You douche! That’s mine!” He tosses the leaves around him, feasting upon your meal. “GIMME!”

Your jimmies can’t stand all this rustling. He takes one last bit, emptying your bowl completely. How the fuck did he eat it all?! He’s as big as your hand! His face grows serious, eyeing you down. He points to the stairs, his finger leading to your bed. The tears… He shakes his head, dragging his finger across his throat. “You don’t scare me. I’ve fought creatures who take shits bigger than you.” He locks eyes with you and leaps down off the bed, disappearing from sight. “That’s right you better ru- whoa.”

Your bed begins to shift, moving slightly before gaining speed. “What do you think you’re doing?!” The bunny’s surprisingly strong, pushing you without much effort. You try to roll out of your bed, body still uncooperative. You know exactly where he’s taking you, the window not far now. This is going to hurt… Your bed slams into the wall, your body and mattress flinging over and out. “FUUUCK!” Your body hits the ground, finding the one muddy spot in the entire yard. “Fluttershy!!!!”

Your body quivers at her touch, still responding to pain. She picks you up as gently as she can, though she struggles with your weight. ”You really should be more careful.”

“If it wasn’t for that-“ Your chest seizes up causing you to stutter painfully.

”Don’t talk, let me fix you up.” She takes you back inside and upstairs, mud coating your body. Placing your body in the bath she turns the knob, the lukewarm water falling between your legs. Hesitantly, she removes your patients clothes, leaving you stark naked.

In any other circumstances you’d have pulled her in with you, but you can’t seem to do that now. She hums a tune and pours some shampoo in her hooves, rubbing them on your muddy body. You braced for more pain, pleasantly surprised by the soothing sensation it provides. You close your eyes, letting her work her magic. It’s…. so good… Fluttershy gasps a little, opening your eyes you find out why. Apparently Anon Jr. thought so as well. ”It’s…”

“Does me proud, it does.” She blushes and moves onto your chest, avoiding your lower region. “Don’t be shy, it’s not going to bite.”

She looks at you knowingly, “Nice try.” Damn, not as stupid as she looks. Welp, good things come to those who wait right? Wrong!

“Who knows, you might just enjoy yourself as well.”

”No means no.”

You can’t wait to get use of your hands back, until then you’re going to have to just deal with it. She finishes your rinse, draining the water and drying you off tenderly. She looks away for a second, “Oh, ok. I’ll fix you up something in a minute.”

“You’re not going crazy are you?”

”It’s just Angel, he’s past due for his meal.” You peek over the bath, the white rabbit staring back at you.

“That’s the asshole who did this to me!”

”Angel? No, he’d never do something like that.”

“You conniving bastard…” She helps you back into your clothes, taking you back to bed. “Hey, I’m still hungry.”

”You ate your food, your bowl’s empty. I knew you’d like it.”

“But Angel-“

She places a hoof to your mouth, “You need your rest.” She clears her throat, “Hush now, quiet now. It’s time to lay your sleepy head. Hush now, quiet now. It’s time to go to bed.”

“Do you really think a… lullaby... will…?” Damn she’s good…

You stir from your sleep, the sun having fell hours ago from the looks of it. ”Glad to see you up.” You turn your head in time for his hoof to force your mouth closed. ”Don’t fight it. I’m not here to hurt you.” Well fucking excuse me if you sneak into my room in the middle of the night and watch me while I sleep. He looks around, placing a gag in your mouth. So much for that. ”Wouldn’t want you screaming out now would we?”

He pulls out his damned Daring Do book. ”Now, how about we start where we left off.” Oh god, please no. His words tear at your eardrums, each second more torturous than the one before. All you can do is lay there and take it. Why does this fuck wants to punish you more, even after what he did? Wasn’t that enough for him? You sit back as time passes, trying to ignore your guest.

He shuts his book abruptly, sighing and moving towards you. ”We can stop there tonight, but I’ll be back.” He removes your gag, going over to the window.

“You think your little reading sessions are going to make me forgive you?”

”I had hoped, in some small way…”

“You’ve got six months left on your clock, remember that.”

He opens the window, “We’ll see.” As quick as he appeared, he vanished back into the night.

”Wakey wakey Anon.”

You stir from your sleep, still groggy from your encounter. “I’m up damn, not so loud.”

She flies around, Angel following her. You’ve been here for about half a month and she still hasn’t learned. “Acheeem.”

She looks back to you, “Yes?”

“Where’s my breakfast?” She sighs, going over to the kitchen. ”You could always ask.”

“Bullshit. You do what I say, and I say ‘get me some mother fucking food.’”

”Just let it go…” she mutters.

“What was that?”

”Nothing...”

“Damn right nothing. Now get to it.”

She sets down the plate, her back turned to you. ”No.”

“I don’t think I heard you right. Come again?”

”I said no.” Bitches be getting on your nerves.

“Fluttershy, if you don’t want to-“

”Ask for it.”

“What?”

”Ask.”

“I’ll rot in Tartarus before I ask a fucking p0ny to make me my breakfast.”

”Alright then.” She fixes up a salad for Angel, leaving you hungry in bed. This crazy bitch is serious isn’t she? ”If you need anything, just call me. I’ll be feeding the chickens.” Fine, you’ll play her little game. You won’t lose in a test of will. You watch her feed from the window as she feeds the animals. The grains fall majestically to the earth, the chickens pecking them with vigor. Your stomach growls at the sight, interrupting your transfixion. Fuck that didn’t take long.

“Fluttershy.” Her ears perk up before drooping back down as she continues her work. “Fluttershy!” She definitely heard you this time, finishing her task and entering the house.

”You called?”

“No, I was saying your name for the hell of it.”

”Alright then.”

She moves back to the door. “Wait wait…”

”Did you want to say something?”

Damn her… “Can I have some food?” You’re tone hushed.

”I’m sorry I didn’t catch that.”

“Can you make me some food… please?” It pains you to speak those words. They’re reserved for desperate times, not whenever you want something.

She grins slightly, “Yes you can.” Your stomach growls again as she fixes up something for you to eat.

“No grass.”

”No grass…” she looks back to you.

“Please.”

”Yes sir, Mr. Anon.”

Please. Fuck that word. Why did someone invent that word? She sets the bowl to your side, impaling a couple bits of lettuce and tomato. Its just as bland as you remember, but at least edible. You begrudgingly accept her offering, finding no other means to eat it. You swallow, Fluttershy proud of you.

“It’s got less flavor than my steaming loaf, but whatever.”

”You don’t need to be so rude. I have some dressing you might like.” Damn right you do.

”If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” It’s got a little zing after her little mix, but it’s still nothing special. Fearing another lecture, you don’t speak your mind, keeping it to yourself. Not really fear per se, Anon doesn’t feel fear. You just really don’t want to her it from her. You finish your meal, Angel taking the last few scraps. The little fuck doesn’t waste any time chowing down either. Reminds you a little of yourself.

”I don’ think your properly met Angel.”

“Oh… we’ve met.”

You glare at each ocher knowingly. ”Properly,” she picks up Angel, placing him on the bed down by your hand. ”Angel this is Mr. Anon. Anon, this is Angel.”

“Charmed.”

He extends his furry paw like one would do a handshake. ”Well?”

“Really? You’re going to make me- Fuck it.”

You manage to extend your finger with some difficulty, Angel holding onto its tip. You give him a light shake before the two of you break off. Angel lies down, falling asleep by your hand. ”Awwww…”

“It’s not cute Fluttershy, it’s annoying.”

You try to move your arm away, the pain stopping you short. ”Don’t be such a party pooper, look how peaceful he is.” We’ll see how peaceful he is when you bury him. ”Just pet him a little.”

“Good one, not going to happen.”

”Don’t be like that, he won’t bite.” Bullshit. That’s just begging for him to bite you. ”Or you can just lie there like a grouch.”

“Fine just- make sure he doesn’t do anything.”

”I won’t need to…” You extend your finger, touching the edge of his furry coat. Fluttershy pushes him towards you a little. He’s warm…

You find yourself stroking his back lightly. Angel hums his approval. ”See? He likes it.” He sure does, and you kind of- You stop petting him. No. You do not enjoy this. You hate Angel.

“I think I’d like to be left alone now.”

Fluttershy nods, scooping up Angel and leaving you alone. Back by your lonesome.

You daydream for the rest of the month, channeling your negative energy elsewhere. You think of all the ways to kill someone, trying to find the most torturous route to take. It’ll come in handy when you get out of here. Fluttershy kept up her end of the bargain and helped you slowly recover. You finally regained control of your hands, able to move them with relative ease. The rest of your body is still shot, so you won’t be moving into a wheelchair anytime soon. But it’s progress and that’s all you can ask for. ”Potatoes alright for today?”

“They’ll do fine thanks.”

Getting used to saying please and thank you has been as hard as the recovery. You say them when you must, but keep away from them whenever you can allow it. She won’t be filling your head with such talk. Some things need to be shown a little kindness. That sounds like a fucking fortune cookie without any of the fortune. ”I went ahead and made you something a little special for today.” You catch the aroma as it drifts towards you. ”I hope you like it.”

No she fucking didn’t… She sets down the plate. Oh yes she fucking did. Roasted potatoes and mother fucking scrambled eggs up in this bitch. “Thanks Fluttershy.”

”You’re welcome.” You swallow your first helping, almost jizzing in excitement.

“No seriously, thanks. This is one of the best things you could’ve gotten me.”

”I’m glad you like it.”

“Like it? Damn girl I fucking love eggs!” You finish off your breakfast, Fluttershy wiping your face. “Best meal since I got here.” She blushes. “Don’t get penisy.”

”You really should watch your language.”

“Is acting nice not enough for you? I’m doing the best I can here.”

”I just hoped you’d be a little more civil.”

You sigh and shake your head. “Wishful thinking.” And you know all about that.

The only reason you came to Equestria was for further glory. You were at your prime and didn’t want to waste it. You felt this could be the place to carve your name into legend. Wishful thinking at its prime. “So, who’s coming for me?”

”Twilight and Applejack.”

“And who will I be staying with?”

”Twilight is going to look after you for now. She’ll take good care of you.” You have a feeling not nearly as well as Fluttershy did. She certainly is a piece of work.

You hear a knock on the door. ”That must be them now.” She opens the door, Twilight and Applejack saying hello and walking in. You give them a knowing nod.

“Wazzup hoes?”

Fluttershy looks dead at you, “Anon?”

You roll your eyes, giving in to her wordless demands. “Nice to see you both.”

”It’s uh- nice to see you too Anon.”

”You came just in time for breakfast, can I get you something?”

”It’s quite alright Fluttershy,” Twilight says.

”Is Anon here ready to go or not?”

“I’ve been ready for a while waiting for your slow ass.”

Fluttershy cuts in before things get worse. ”He still has some things to pack. Go ahead and make yourselves comfortable.” She rolls you out of the room. ”I’m disappointed Anon…”

“Nothing new then huh?”

”I’d thought you’d learned a thing or two from staying here.”

“What are you talking about? I learned plenty.”

”You sure don’t show it.”

“Well yeah, I don’t need to be nice all the fucking time. I’m not some type of pansy.”

”Anon…”

“I appreciate how you helped me, I really did, but don’t think you can change me.” You’re an asshole through and through, and there’s nothing you’d change about it. “I helped you and you helped me. How I see it, that makes us even.”

”Just keep my lessons at heart okay?”

“I’ll be sure to forget them the second I roll out that door.”

”I’m serious. Don’t let your past mistakes ruin your future.”

“You know what? You’re right. I was a bit too nice. If I hadn’t saved you in the first place, then I wouldn’t be in this mess.” She looks away as you lay into her, tears forming again in her eyes. That bitch better not be… damn, she is… “I didn’t mean that. I’m- sorry. Truly. You’ve done but nothing but help me, and I’ve been an ass. Don’t let me intrude any longer.”

She nods, forcing down the tears and passing you along to Twilight and Applejack. ”He’s all yours.”

”Are you alright Fluttershy?” They can see her hidden despair.

”I’m fine,” she looks at you, “we both are.”

“Yeah…” You think you see a small smile on her face, but you brush away the notion. She’s not happy. Not one bit. If anything she’s pleased that you’re leaving. Applejack takes a hold of your bed, guiding you outside.

”We’ll be heading over to Twilight’s to drop Anon off, you going out with us tonight?”

”I’ll pass thanks.”

“Don’t be afraid to stop by. I don’t bite.”

”And neither does Angel.”

Speak of the devil himself. He hops onto your bed, eyeing you up and down. “Don’t think I’ve forgotten about your little escapade.” He nods and extends his fluffy paw, meeting your finger. You give him a shake, nodding in return. “Until next time you furry bastard.”

Fluttershy picks him up as you exit the house. ”May we see each other again Anon.”

“We shall.”

Applejack and Twilight take you down the path to Ponyville. ”So what was that all about?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

”Don’t play coy now Anon. I saw how you was talking.”

”Right, you seem different.”

“Becoming a fucking cripple tends to have that effect on people.”

”We’re serious.”

You sigh, resting you head on the pillow. “Don’t have enough Maximum Douche to act that way 24/7 anyways.” You can’t act like you used to anymore. A thought hits you with enough force to blow your mind. “Why the fuck are we going to Twilight’s place?!”

The others don’t seem to understand what you mean. “You live in Ponyville right? Everyone there should basically hate me now.”

”So what?”

“I won’t last a day before they lynch me.”

”Anon, Twilight’s the only reason I haven’t done it sooner.” Once a cunt…

”Nop0ny will hurt you if you stay with me.”

“They better not.”

”So Anon… How was your stay anyways?”

Oh boy how was it. “Well, if you include being thrown out a window by a rabbit, obtaining blue balls the size of my fist and being forced to say please and thank you, it was pretty shitty.”

”And if you didn’t?”

“Fluttershy was a fine host, not the best, but definitely the most caring.”

”She never was afraid to show kindness to others.”

”Even when they didn’t deserve it.” Applejack just gets on your nerves, if you weren’t in this broken body…

You approach the outskirts of Ponyville, a crowd already forming. Their eyes burn into you, each gossiping to their fellows like before. “You got something better to do fudge-nozzles?!”

”Nothing to see her folks, go on back to your homes now.” Applejack helps disperse the crowd, though some still stalk you. You come to a tree, a few windows carved into the wood and a door at the front.

”Well here’s your new home. How do you like it?”

“I can feel the splinters already.”

”Told ya he wouldn’t like it.”

“It has a nice aesthetic, though why anyone would live in a tree is beyond me.”

”Well it actually used to be a library.”

“That explains why you live there you nerd.” It’s quaint, that’s for certain. It takes you back to when you stayed in your father’s tree house back home. You loved that damn tree house… your dad too…

”Something wrong Anon?”

“I’m perfect. Let’s just get inside; I’m hungry again.” You’re rolled through the open door and into Twilight’s humble abode.

Chapter 4: Same But Different

It still has that new tree smell. The wood is polished and stained, and there doesn’t appear to be a kitchen of any kind. “What am I supposed to eat?”

”I’ll get you something from the market. You’re not going to starve.”

”Don’t see why not.”

“Suck it.”

”Enough. Your bickering is driving me up the wall.” You shut up, not wanting to upset your host quite yet. ”Applejack, care to help me get Anon upstairs?”

”Only for you Twilight,” her eyes furrowed on you.

They push your up the stairs, finally coming to a rest at the top. ”Spike!?”

”Hoo.”

”Not now Owlowiscious.”

“Who’s Spike?”

”Hoo.”

”He’s my assistant and friend. Is he off at Rarity’s again?”

”I wouldn’t doubt it. You know how he is around her.”

”Do I.”

“Great. More stupid ponies to hang around.”

”Spike isn’t a pony. He’s a dragon.”

You almost choke on air. “And you thought it would be safe to bring me here?”

”He’s just a baby dragon. Besides, he doesn’t care for other dragons.”

“Not liking and not caring are two different things.”

”He won’t hurt you. Trust me.”

“Ever heard of The Scorpion and the Frog? It’s in his nature.”

”Knew he’d be a filly about it.” Every fucking word… You hear the downstairs door swing open.

”Spike?”

”Here Twilight.”

”Come upstairs, there’s someone I’d like you to meet.” And here it comes… The small purple and green lizard looks at you, his slitted eyes on you. ”Spike this is Anon.”

”I know who he is.” Fucking called it. Twilight may not see it, but there’s a fire burning in his heart.

”Are you-“

”Hello.”

“Hey.” No one says anything as you share glances. The atmosphere was thick enough to cut with a knife.

”Well shucks I really must get going. Glad to help.” She rushes out before anyone can say a word. Silence strikes once more. ”Hoo.”

“Couldn’t have said it better myself.”

Twilight finally speaks up. ”You want anything to eat? I can run and get something really quick.”

”Two rubies, I had a snack already.”

“Mashed Potatoes.” Eye’s lock once more. Twilight makes her exit, the door slamming shut behind her. “Thought she’d be here forever.”

”You have no idea.”

“Get it out now. Let’s not drag it on.”

”You… You’re not a pony.”

“Just figure that out now Sherlock?”

”I would never hurt a pony, but you…”

“I don’t think Twilight would appreciate that very much.”

”What she doesn’t know won’t kill her.”

“Might kill me.”

”That is the point after all.”

“Quite.”

”You’re going to pay for what you’ve done to my kind.”

“They deserved it. Pillaging and all.”

”No one deserves to die, no matter their crimes.”

“Oh the irony.”

He smirks, “But you’re a special case.”

“If you’re going to do it, then finish me off already. I’m right here.”

”You think I’m stupid? She’d know it was me.”

“Make it look like an accident?”

”I plan on it.”

You sigh, tapping your fingers on the bed. “Don’t keep me waiting long, else I might die of boredom.”

”This isn’t a game. This is real.”

“I’ve been in worse situations.”

”We’ll see.” He descends the stairs as Twilight gets back. Dinner time it seems. Well today wasn’t that bad.

Spike didn’t attempt anything that day. Probably trying to concoct some plan to make it look like it was someone else. Night soon falls and with it, your mysterious guest. The window slides open, the man leaping through. ”Nice to see you again.”

“Fuck you as well.”

He strides up beside you, not worrying about Twilight or Spike. He seems to read your thoughts, “They wouldn’t wake up if an earthquake hit.”

“Nice choice of words.” He stammers over his words, apologizing again. “Just read the damn book.” You pay more attention to your companion this time. Mainly to spout out harsh criticism about the book and how fucking retarded it is. He goes on regardless. Before long he makes his leave again.

”Until next time.”

“Five months left.”

”I’ll be waiting.”

The next morning, Twilight sets you up downstairs. ”Since you’ll be staying with me for a while, I thought it’d be nice for us to learn more about each other.”

“You’re joking right? I’ve had shits more meaningful.”

”We’re not that different you know, past the flesh.”

“Whatever, it’s not like I have a choice.”

”Good, then let’s being. What’s your name?” For fucks sake. This is going to be a long session.

After a couple hours of constant questions you begin to get impatient. “Isn’t there a faster way of doing this?”

”I normally could read your mind, but you seem to be- different.”

“Well look at that, we really are different then.”

”You’re unique,” Damn right you are. “But only physically.”

“If you’re trying to say we think the same, then you’re fucking wrong. I’m not all sunshines and lollipops in the head.”

”We’re not either. We’re only pony.”

“That sounds fucking retarded.”

She sighs, pushing away her chalkboard. ”Hungry?”

“Aren’t I always?”

”What do you want?”

”Bologna and beans.”

”You’re not getting meat Anon.”

“Bitch…” Out the door she goes, leaving you alone. Or so you hoped. The chandelier above you begins to shake and you soon see why. “Nice to see you too Spike.” He ignores you, clawing at the chandelier.

You go on trying to escape his little trap, rocking your chest back and forth. The bed rolls a little, but stays in the same place for the most part. Well… You’re fucked. ”Sweet dreams Anon.” The cord snaps with one last swipe. Goodbye world.

The chandelier crashes to the floor, your eyes shooting open in wonder. He missed? What a fag. “Couldn’t hit an immobile target now could you?”

He snarls, “You traitor!” He can’t handle failure at all now can he?

“What’s the matter? Little Spikey can’t get the job done?”

”Hoo.” You see the owl resting just above your head. It hits you suddenly. Did he just-

”Why? Why did you help him?”

”Hoo.”

”Stop mocking me!”

You laugh out loud, your chest hurting so good. “Outdone by an owl. Damn that’s just pathetic.”

He yells in his mouth, the door opening once more. ”I got you some be- What in the hay happened?”

Spike seems to have made a quick escape. “The cord just snapped suddenly. Your pet owl saved me.”

”Hoo.”

”Thank goodness for that. Who knows what could’ve happened?” You do.

This goes on for about two weeks. It always goes the same way though. Spike tries to kill you. Owlowiscious saves you. Twilight cleans up the mess. She continued her little sessions as well. Her attempts are in vain though. You’re two different species from two different worlds. You have nothing in common.

“So the elements of harmony were used to seal Discord? The god of chaos? That’s retarded.”

”The elements are very powerful. Even apart, they can change lives.”

“I’ve heard better stories from my sister....” It’s been so long since you’ve thought about her.

”Who was your sister?”

“Is this part of the session?

”Yes.”

“Dammit. Where to start with that bitch…” Oh there are so many places. “She was always the favorite, always one step above me. No matter how hard I pushed she would always be better.”

”She was older than you?”

“Yeah. She pissed me off so much. It doesn’t matter now though. It’s in the past.”

”I think you want to talk more about her.”

“No I don’t. That life is behind me, and I’m glad to be rid of it.”

”If that’s what you want.”

“It is.”

That familiar silence washes over the room. ”Hungry?”

“Yep.” She takes her leave. “What is it this time Spike?” He leaps on your chest, knocking the wind out of you.

”I’m tired of these games. I just want you gone.” You rest your head.

“Well here we are again. It’s always such a pleasure.” Remember when you tried to kill me twice. God you love that song. “Oh how we laughed and laughed.”

”Shut up!”

“Except I wasn’t laughing. Under the circumstances I’ve been shockingly nice.”

”I said quiet!” He punches you in your bruised ribs.

“Shutting up now.”

”Nobody is going to interrupt me this time.” You look towards the stairs, Owlowiscious caged up. ”That’s right.” He inhales deeply, charging his signature attack. He doesn’t care if she knows anymore, fuck! Have to move, have to…

You throw your arm at him, knocking him off the bed. “FUUUCK!” Jesus Mary and Joseph! DAMNIT! You rest your arm, Spike flailing about on the ground. He releases a thunderous belch igniting several books lying around.

”No no no!” Realizing that his plan failed he desperately tries to clean up the mess. Your bed feels abnormally hot.

“Is something cooking?” Twilight walks in, the flames still burning.

”ANON! SPIKE!” She quenches the flames in seconds, “Are you alright Anon?”

“I should b-” you realize that your bedside was also on fire, “That motherfucker!”

She glares at Spike. ”I thought you were better than this. I stood up for you Spike!” He fumbles over his words, keeping his head down. ”I- I can’t even look at you right now. I think it would be best if you stayed at Rarity’s for a while.”

”But Twilight-“

”No buts. I’ll help you pack.”

He’s out by day’s end. “Now I only want you gone.” He gives you one last glare before he’s gone, hopefully for good.

”How long has this been going on?”

“Since I got here. He didn’t waste any time.”

”So all of those messes…” You nod. It’s surprising that it took her this long to figure out. ”Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You wouldn’t have believed me. You love Spike too much to take my word over his. Maybe YOU are the one who needs to learn something.” She takes this in, giving you your sack of food. “Thank you kindly.”

You scarf it down, not bothering to take any precautions. ”How’s the arm?” You look down at it, still resting on your waist.

“It’s been better, but it seems I can move it now.”

”Painful?”

“You have no idea.”

”Sorry.”

“Not your fault.”

”I should always be with you. If I had been here-“

“He would have done something while you were sleeping. It’s unavoidable.”

”Thanks Anon.” Wait. Stop being nice. Stop it.

“Whatever, don’t get all sappy on me.”

She lets out Owlowiscious, “I’m guessing he was a big help.”

“Without a doubt. That guy has some perks to be sure.”

”I sure am glad you helped Anon.”

”Hoo.” You can’t help but laugh a little, painfully you might add.

Twilight starts bringing you along when she goes to the market. After she found out Spike had it out for you she’s been extra careful about leaving you alone. Everypony steers clear of you, making your trip far more difficult. Most of the shops would ‘conviently’ run out of stock while others would flat out refuse to serve you. You can see that it pains Twilight for her fellows to treat you this way. It’s not her fault, they’re just a bunch of oversensitive cunts. “Let’s just go home.”

”But what about your food?”

“Fuck it and fuck them. I won’t let them get us down.”

“Even if it means you’ll starve?”

“Damn straight, these guys are unbearable. I can’t believe they’d act this way.”

She smiles, “Then I guess we aren’t so different after all.”

“Well if you put it that way…” She’s right after all. Another peg off your pole.

”Let’s get back to the house. I still have some leftovers we can eat.”

“Sounds good to me.” She always had a way of keeping it so fresh. Magic, don’t gotta explain shit.

Twilight looks around at the gawking ponies as she pushes you along. ”This no way to behave. They should be ashamed of themselves.”

You tilt your head up at her. “The mind always believes itself correct until contradicted by another.”

”Who said that?”

“Me. Just now.”

You both share a laugh. ”You know Anon I- Whoa!”

Your bed screeches to a halt as someone blocks the way. “What’s the big idea! You better- Oh hi Fluttershy.”

”I’m sorry, I didn’t see you. Are you going home?”

”Yeah, a little empty-handed as you can see.”

“Bitches ain’t shit but hoes and tricks.”

”That’s just awful. I wish there was something I could do.” Oh, but there is. She gets the same idea you had, reaching into her bag. ”I was going to sell these, but I think you guys could use them more.” She hands Twilight a bushel of assorted veggies. ”And I have something special for you as well.” Eggs. Glorious Eggs!

“Hells yeah! If I could I’d hug you I would.” Wait, you can move your arms kinda, hug that bitch. Mustering your strength you stretch out your arms. “Come here.”

”Anon I’m not sure that’s the best idea.”

”Worth it.” You hug that Pegasus for the first time. The first warm body you’ve had against you for close to two months. Stay down boy, that’s for later. Okay your limbs are starting to hurt time to end it.

She pulls away, your arms falling to your sides. That tired you out more than you thought it would, you’re even breathing heavy. “Still worth it.”

”Don’t hurt yourself Anon.”

“I won’t, but thanks for the thought.”

”We’d best be going now. It was nice to see you Fluttershy.”

”Oh okay… See you around.” You’d slap Twilight right now if you had the strength.

“She was kind enough to give us free food. You damn well better invite her over.”

”I don’t think she’d-“

”I’d love to, if that’s alright with you.”

“It is. Riiiight?”

”Well, I mean, of course. It’ll be nice having you over.” It’ll be good to have her as company. Too much Twilight rubs you the wrong way. Throw in some Fluttershy and you have a nice little brew going. The three of you leave the market’s faggoty ponies and get back to the house. Fluttershy and Twilight whip up some dinner for you. Delicious food. It was nice having her over that night. Nice…

You stretch out your arms, the bones still trembling. “I was hoping they hadn’t degraded as much.”

”Months of inactivity will do that to you.”

“Starting back from square one. How fucking dandy.”

”It’s not as bad as you think.”

“Not as bad? You get crushed underneath two tons of rock and beaten to near death and then tell me that.”

”I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I know,” you sigh. Fuck! You can’t blame her for what happened to you.

”I went back to the hospital today like you requested.”

”And? What did the doctor have to say?”

”First, that your rate of recovery is simply astonishing. He was thrilled.”

“Did he expect me to rot away? Humans are extremely resilient, and I’m no ordinary human.”

”You’re called a human? Interesting…”

“HEY! Focus. What else?”

”Sorry, got distracted there for a second.”

“No problem, just keep this brief will ya.”

”Second, he said that if you stay on course you’ll be fully healed in about four months.”

“Damn, I was hoping to be out sooner.”

”You can’t rush yourself. You may hurt yourself worse.”

“Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine. Nothing’s going to take me down again.”

”If you say so…”

“Do I need to tell you how I slew that Manticore herd again?”

”No, not that one again.”

“Good, I’m tired of saying it.”

”Thank Celestia for that,” she mutters under her breath.

“What was that?”

”Nothing, shall I move on?”

“Why yes. Yes you can.”

”The last thing he told me is a bit more exciting.” She trots towards the closet, rolling out some masked object.

“It’s a TARP!”

”Guess what’s underneath it.”

God fucking dammit. “I know what this is, it’s an espresso machine.”

She shakes her head, “Guess again.”

”A snow cone maker?”

”Nope.”

You’re not playing this game with her. “I can make things really sloppy in the bathroom. Really sloppy. Fluttershy knows all about that.” There’s that fear you longed to see.

”Fine, you win.”

“Don’t I always?”

She pulls back the tarp, you reveling in its simplicity. ”Want to try it out?”

“This isn’t a joke? I can- you know.”

”Let me help you.” She holds underneath your legs, traversing the distance between you and your gift. You ease into your new home, your legs dangling off the front. You place your hands on the wheels, struggling to move them along. With enough force you move a little, the child inside you perking up. You look back to Twilight. She doesn’t look happy for you, shuffling from one hoof to the next. You can tell she’s hiding something. “Twilight, what’s the bad news?”

”There’s not any bad news,” she’s clearly trying to stall, “Don’t you like it?”

“Twilight…”

”I didn’t want to be the one to tell you.”

“No one does. Just hit me with it.”

”The doctor- had more time to observe your x-rays. There was a complication.” You don’t like the sound of that.

”A piece of metal is lodged just underneath your Patella, it’s- not something he can remove.”

“Why not?! Get that shit out!”

”You could lose all range of motion below your knee. It’ll essentially be dead weight.”

“And if I keep it in?”

”You won’t be able to walk without assistance, and you’ll need to take medication for the pain.”

“So I can either live free of pain without a leg, or drugged up with a limp. Fucking astounding.” You can see why she didn’t want to tell you. This sours the mood a great deal. You swivel in your chair, the soft rhythms doing little to calm you.

”Anon?”

“It’s ok. It’s going to be ok.” You grip the wheels with your hand, tightening painfully. She rests her hoof on your shoulder. It’s going to be ok.

Before you know it the end of the month is up. With that means you’ll be moving once more. Spike can go back to living with Twilight, though their relationship will dampened. “Exactly who will I be staying with now anyways?”

”Another friend of mine. You haven’t met her yet.”

“And what if I have?”

She places your things on your lap. ”You’d remember if you had met her.” So she’s one of those kind of ponies. You can’t wait…

Twilight and you share one last breakfast together. You couldn’t wait to leave, but now that you are… She’s like the sister you always wanted, and you have to leave her. Fuck man, there’s a reason you suppressed this shit. All it does is drag you down. You might as well enjoy this while you can. ”It’s tough to see you go.”

“Well yeah, losing a charming fellow like me.”

”Not that charming.” Oh Twilight…

A knock at the door brings you both to attention. ”That must be Pinkie now.”

“Pinkie? What a stupid name.”

”Are you ready? She can be a bit… energetic.”

“I’m always ready.”

”Just giving you fair warning.”

The door begins to slide open. ”WHEREISHEWHEREISHEWHEREISHE!?” Sensory Overload imminent. Initiate Backups.

All the god damn pink. She appears in front of you before you can bat an eye. ”Hi I’m Pinkie Pie! What’s your name? My name’s- Oop I already told you mine.”

You look over to Twilight, pleading her with your eyes. ”Hold up now Pinkie.”

”Hold? Can I hold him?! That would be super neat if I could, can I?” You can barely handle a minute of her. You’ll be dead by the end of the first week.

“I’d rather not?”

”Okie dokie. You ready to go then?” She gasps, eyes going wide. ”I can have you meet all my friends! We can even-“ Oh shit she’s going to explode! ”THROW YOU A PARTY!” Why didn’t that boulder just kill you.

”I don’t want to take up anymore of your time…”

”Oh yeah! Thanks Twilight. We have a lot of things to do, Anon right?!” You stare back at Twilight hoping she would save you. She simply waves, closing the door behind you.

Chapter 5: Baker's Delight

”So Anon- Your name’s Anon right? How do you like Ponyville? Met any friends yet? Am I your friend yet?” Please god kill me now. Oh boy the others are looking at you. Laugh it up assholes, they’ll get theirs. ”You’re going to love living with me. We can eat cupcakes, have parties, stay up till the sunrises, the works!”

“I don’t think that’s-“

”Hiya Copper, nice seeing you.” He grunts, turning away in disgust. She just laughs, “Old Copper, still the grouch.” Another pony with a grudge, how fun. ”Anyways, what were you saying?”

“Umm, I don’t think it’s such a great idea.”

She stops, “What do you mean by that?”

“I need my rest. I can’t be off partying about in my state.”

”That’s all? Why didn’t you just say so?” She giggles playfully, “I’ll just bring the party to us.” Oh boy…

She turns down the street. ”There it is, home sweet home.” Mary mother of god. It really is made of sweets. She speeds down the road, dirt picking up behind you, choking the passersby. ”Sugarcube Corner is the best store in Ponyville, plus I get to live there, which makes it even better.” Life force draining… She says hello to every-pony she passes, spitting out greetings faster than you can comprehend. This girl is crazy. How the hell can anyone stand her? Who the fuck is she?

She kicks open the door. Two ponies stand behind the counter. ”Hi Mr. and Mrs. Cake. This is Anon, he’s going to be staying in my room for a while okay? Great, bye.” She clumsily drags you up the stairs. Each step tosses you about as you clamor just to stay on. You hold on for dear life, not wanting to endure another tragic fall. Is she actively trying to get you hurt again? Finally up the stairs she drags you into what you can only imagine to be her room.

She shuts the door, her air deflating with a sigh. It’s like all her energy just… left. She looks at you, her eyes showing her fatigue. ”Well here we are.”

Her voice is sullen, nothing like it was before. ”This is my bedroom,” she shows off with her hooves. ”Down the hall to the left is the bathroom. I assume I’m going to have to help you.” You nod, the pink pony sighing once more. ”Downstairs is the kitchen. I’ll be sure to grab you some appropriate food whenever I can.”

“Pinkie?”

”Welcome to Sugarcube Corner, enjoy your stay.”

She trots over to her bed, lying down on the cushioned surface. “Are um- you alright?”

“I’m fine Anon. Fine and dandy.” Her voice sounds contrary. You don’t get this pony.

“You don’t get a lot of time alone do you?”

”Just enough. Just enough…” Holy shit she’s so depressing, She rolls up onto her hooves. ”Set your stuff down, we have a party to set up.”

She leads you back out of the room and downstairs. She stops at the bottom, breathing a sigh before perking up just as she was before. Hopping about, she takes you back to the Cakes, apparently the owners of this establishment. ”Hello there Pinkie, nice to see you up and about as usual.”

”Thank ya Mr. Cake. I’m planning a party again tonight, can I-?

”Anything for you Pinkie.”

”You’re just the best, mind watching Anon for me? I’m going to grab some stuff out of the back.”

”Of course Pinkie.” You can’t understand this girl.

One minute she’s happy, the next she’s a depressing sod, and then she’s perky again. Does she have a mental disorder or something? You almost don’t notice the Cake’s staring at you. “Something you want?”

”Us? Nooo. We’re great.”

“Ahuuu? Well if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you want to get something off your chest.”

”Just perfect,” Mr. Cake mutters through clenched teeth.

“For fuck’s sake dude, don’t be a pussy.”

Mrs. Cake nudges at her husband, who stands up straight in response. ”Pinkie might have brought you in due to her good nature, but don’t think we don’t know what you’re up to.”

“Up to? I’m a bit lost here…”

”Pinkie’s special to this town. You keep your twisted thoughts out of her head.”

“Twisted thoughts? The fuck do you think I am? I’m just trying to get better.”

”I’m sure you are. For the record, we’ll be keeping out eye on you.” Something about that’s just downright unsettling.

”Anoooon!” Pinkie booms from the back, “Can you help me in here?” If it means you can leave Mr. and Mrs. Conspiracy Theorist here then you’d be more than happy to. It takes a bit, but you manage to move your wheel chair into the kitchen.

Flour coats the walls and countertops. You’re not sure what you expected; this place is a bakery after all. Pinkie’s off to the side, mixing away at some concoction humming a tune. You finally reach her, your arms already sore and exhausted. “What’d you need?”

”Can you stir this for me?”

“My arms are extremely weak, I don’t think I can-“

”Pleeeeeease?”

You can’t resist that smile. “Hand me the bowl.”

Damn it hurts. You’re already exhausted from before, and now this… Add another month to my recovery why don’t you. ”We’re going to have so much fun together Anon, just you wait.” But boy can you.

“Hey Pinkie. Can I ask you something?”

”Shoot.”

“Before- when we went upstairs. Something happened…”

”Oh that! It’s perfectly normal. It gives me time to relax.”

“You call that normal? You were a completely different person.”

”You can’t be two people silly. That’s just crazy talk.”

“But- you- I… Fuck it.”

”Okie Dokie, frosting?” You can’t object before she shoves a hoof in your mouth. Bite down on that… Holy shit. This is good frosting. It tingles the bottom of your tongue in ways you couldn’t imagine. She removes her hoof, the fresh air only accentuating the flavor. ”Well?”

You swallow it down, trying to avoid eye contact. “It’s good.”

Her bottomless joy keeps you on your toes, so to speak. Pinkie is… eccentric. She’s like nobody you’ve met before. Her laugh is borderline infectious, and that smile… Don’t even get started on her smile. Time just seems to glide by while you’re with her. Maybe this won’t be as bad as you thought. ”Can you pass the blender?”

“Yes ma’am.”

By the time you finish your little cooking spree, you’re covered head to toe in flour, sugar and frosting. She puts the finishing touches on her latest conquest, a quadruple layered red velvet cake. You’re putting on weight just by being near it. You reach out to take a slice, only for her to slap you away. ”Not until the party silly.”

“But I-“

”No buts, wait until the party.”

“Alright,” You can get yours later. It’s not like there’s a lack of goodies to try. You look at the clock, eight 0’ clock. “So when is this party supposed to start?”

She gasps when she sees the time, “We don’t have time to waste!” She pulls you into the front room, stringing up decorations wherever she could. The Cake’s seem to have skedaddled. Partly, you don’t blame them; if things go south it’d be smart to be as far away as possible. Besides, they already made it clear you’re presence is barely tolerated. Pinkie hands you a bushel of ribbons, instructing you to set them up.

“I suppose you’re a bit late on the prep work?”

”It’s not a problem, Pinkie is never late for a party.”

“How exactly did you get to send out invitations? I’ve been with you all day.”

”I sent them out the day Twilight told me you’d be staying with me.”

“And when was that exactly?”

”Last week.”

“She didn’t give you much of a window.”

”I don’t dilly dally,” she says with that smile. You keep your own off your face, focusing on the decorations.

There’s a knock at the door, Pinkie Pie bouncing over and opening it. A fair amount of ponies start pouring in of all varieties. You notice Fluttershy and Twilight come in, along with Applejack and some others. The majority of the ponies either ignore you or flat out refuse to make eye contact. You’re not sure what you expected, you managed to scar at least four ponies in the first night you were here. They’re not just going to forget about that. ”Something troubling you Anon?”

You look to Fluttershy and shake your head. ”You look kind of down,” Twilight joins in.

“I just don’t see the point.”

”The point of what?”

“Why these ponies even decided to come. They knew I was going to be here, so why bother?”

”Why do you think they came?”

“Because they like Pinkie more than they hate me, but that’s just a guess.”

”And chances are you’d be right.”

“That comforting.”

”Sarcasm won’t make you feel better.”

“And neither will a party.”

”Anon now, Pinkie put a lot of work into this. Would you just up and leave?” A couple months ago you wouldn’t waste a second, but now… She spent a lot of her time for you didn’t she?

“I guess not.” You force a smile on your face. “Go on and enjoy yourselves. I’ll be alright by myself.”

”If you say so.” They mingle with the other guests, talking about who knows what. You move over to the punch table, getting a cup for yourself.

Sweet and fruity, exactly the type of drink that makes you a fag. Fuck it, it’s a party. You finish up your cup and toss it in the wastebin. ”Whooops.” Some asshole spills his drink all over you. ”Sorry dude. I slipped.”

That mother fucker. “Slipped my ass! You did that on purpose.”

“Caught me there.” He laughs smugly with his buddies, all you can do is glare at them. “You going to do something about it, let’s just walk outsi- Oh wait you can’t now can you.”

Rage increasing… By now the party has come to a standstill as all eyes are trained on your little scene. ”He’s so scared he can’t move. Isn’t that right?”

“I will hurt you…”

”Good luck with that freak. Just roll on home and leave our town.”

“Too far you piece of shit.” You lunge forwards fist first, the stallion backing out of the way. You hit the floor, scrambling towards him, fueled by your rage.

”Can’t even land a punch, and you call yourself a hero.” The laughs… blood will flow. You try to stand, falling flat on your face. ”Come on Anon. Show me what you’re made of.”

A couple hooves grab your sides, pulling you back onto your wheelchair. Pinkie Pie gets in between the two of you. ”Just laugh it off Anon.”

“I’ll laugh over his grave!”

She keeps you still, “It’s alright Anon, just laugh it off.” There’s no point in struggling, you can barely move by yourself.

”Talked down by a mare? Anyone else going to stand up for this freak?”

”Eeeeyup.” A large crimson stallion steps out from the crowd. ”I think it’d be best if you up and leave now, ya hear?”

The stallions back away a bit, the intimidating stallion putting a number on them. ”He’s not worth the effort anyways…”

They take their leave, “Party’s over everypony,” he says in his deep voice, “It’s time to head on home.” They shuffle out the door, only a couple left.

”Anon…”

“I’m fine…” But you aren’t. You’re the opposite of fine.

The stallion walks up to Applejack, “We’d best be going now.”

“Thank you. I…” He nods, the two of them leaving. “I’m going to go take a shower now.”

Pinkie just nods, “Do you guys mind-“

”We’ll clean things up for you.”

”Thanks girls.”

She takes you upstairs, carefully this time. You take off your patient’s clothes, the flour and punch coating it in a doughy mixture. There are no wise cracks this time, no humorous one-shots. ”I told you to laugh it off.” She pulls you into the bath, rubbing soap onto your back. She says it like it’s nothing.

“It’s not that easy. I’m not like you.”

”And you think it’s easy for me?” You look back to her, Pinkie having reverted back to her depressing form.

“I didn’t-“

”Well it’s not.” You can see the tears welling in her eyes. ”I try to make everypony happy, but it doesn’t always work. I know they laugh at me sometimes, and I just have to laugh with them.”

“I- I didn’t know.” This is making you feel like shit.

”It takes its toll on you, you just have to stay strong.” You look down, Pinkie resting her head on your back. ”Will you try?”

“I don’t know…”

”If not for yourself, then for me?” All that built-up pain…

“I’ll try.”

There’s that smile. She finishes rinsing the frosting off of you, turning off the shower and reclothing you. She rolls you into her room, throwing back the covers on her bed. “So where will I be sleeping? The couch is good for me, hell even the-“

”Don’t be silly Anon, you’re be sleeping with me.” The awkward train just left the station.

“Umm, I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”

”Don’t make this weird.”

“I don’t think it could get any weirder.”

She just rolls her eyes and pushes you to the bedside. ”I’m not going to let you sleep on the couch, so just- get- up.” She pushes you onto the bed, sliding your legs over.

“This is… are you sure? I don’t mind-“

”Don’t piss me off Anon.”

“Done.”

She smiles, her hair puffing out slightly. Throwing the blanket overtop you both, she closes her eyes. You can feel her warmth next to you. It’s strange, but… welcoming. You don’t find yourself minding this.

“Pinkie Pie?”

”Yes?”

“How do you do it? Stay happy all the time that is.”

”I think of something I like, and don’t let go.”

“And if you do?”

”Then you let it go and hope it comes back.”

“Just like that?”

”Just like that.” She sighs, wrapping herself up with a blanket. ”Get some rest. We’re having your afterparty tomorrow.”You can’t wait.

You just lie in bed, awaiting your nightly visitor. Hours tick by. You keep your ears peeled for the beat of wings or some such thing. No noises come to greet you that night. Shame, you were looking forward to laying into that bastard. You close your eyes, fixating your mind on something else. Manticores jumping the fence always worked. You picture it in your head, the herd scouring the plain. The spot the fence and- fuck it you’re bored…

~~~

You awaken to the chirping of birds. Yawning, you move to get out of bed, finding it difficult to move. You soon see why. Pinkie seems to have latched onto your body her sleep. Her nose is nuzzled into your chest, her heart beat vibrating through your arm. You attempt to free yourself, though ultimately succumbing to the d’aww factor. How could you get away from that? You lie there with her until she wakes.

She lets out a loud yawn, tightening her grip on your chest. Her eyes pop open, yours connecting with hers. “Nice to see you awake.”

She retracts her limbs and scoots back, “Sorry about that.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

You think she blushed, but it’s impossible to tell with her pink hide. Does she- Do you… No. Get your head in the game Anon. It’s just another day. That’s it alright, another day.

Pinkie spent the following days delivering invitations. After that mess up you had on your first night she made sure to limit those who were invited. No one wanted to have another incident. The date was set for the end of the month, much to Pinkie’s dismay. You reasoned that it would give you both adequate time to prepare. Though in reality you just wanted time to rest. Funny part was, as time went on, rest was the last thing you wanted to do.

Pinkie and you got along miraculously. Whenever you weren’t baking or sleeping, the two of you would just talk to each other. Twilight tried to do that, but it never worked out, but Pinkie? She could make you talk about almost anything. Almost. You pick up the bowl, stirring the contents gingerly. “How many cups of sugar do we put in this?”

”Just one.”

“Two it is.” The two of you laugh, a tear coming to your eye. Fuck yourself with a cactus if this isn’t one of the best moments of your life. You look back into the bowl, a pair of purple eyes staring back at you. “Pinkie?! Pinkie?!?!”

The creature lunges at you causing you to roll backwards in your chair. You desperately guard your face only for it to slip right through. ”Anon calm down.”

“It’s biting me! It’s biting… me?” You stop your squirming, noting the lack of pain. Pinkie stifles another laugh. “Oh Anon, you’re so crazy.”

“What the fuck was that?”

”Oh that’s just Gummy. He’s harmless.”

“That thing tried to kill me!”

”Don’t be like that, he’s just playing is all, isn’t that right?” The small creature rolls down your arm, nibbling at your finger tip. He’s a baby alligator, and from the feel of it he doesn’t have any teeth. Must be why she calls him Gummy. You chuckle as he moves from one finger to the next, coating your hand with his saliva. “Grotty. You can’t bake like that.”

”Guess I need to wash my hands huh?”

She points to your body. ”Hands are the least of your problems.” Thanks to Gummy’s little sneak attack your covered in dough again.

“Can’t help you like this now can I?”

”No sir you can’t. Let’s get you washed up.” She pulls you upstairs, the Cakes glaring at you on the way up. You make sure to give them the finger, for good measure of course. She tosses you into the shower, immediately rinsing you off. You make sure to get your own cheap shots in as well. It isn’t long before the two of you are giggling like children.

You rest your back against the wall, taking a deep breathe between bursts of laughter. “I haven’t felt this way since…” Your laughing comes to an end as you finish your thought. You never felt this way before. Fuck, when did you become such a depressing sod.

”Do you want to talk about it?”

“No, it’s ok.”

”You know that I’m here for you right?”

You just smile and place a hand on her shoulder. “I know.”

~~~

Time just seems to fly on by. Every day gets shorter, every hour that much quicker. There just isn’t enough time in the day for all the things you want to do. You try to spend as much time alone with her as you can. Only then does she reveal her true colors, the insecure pony beneath. Ever since you arrived you’ve seen less and less of her. You chalk it up to her getting to know you. But you can’t help but feel that you’re not the only one recovering.

Before you know it the end of the month is up. The voices from downstairs cue the inevitable. Tonight would be the last night you spent with Pinkie Pie. It brings more than a little sadness to think that you had to go. Pinkie picks up on this, she’s been good at doing that lately. ”It’s not like you’ll be gone forever.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” If only she knew.

She plops you down the stairs, the room going quiet as you make your entrance. A couple raise their glasses in acknowledgement before returning to their peers. You move over to the red stallion from before. Pinkie doesn’t need to help push you along anymore, as enough strength has returned to your arms to enable you to move on your own. All that mixing really did help you recover after all. He nods at you as you get closer. “Nice to see you again.”

”Eeeyup.”

“I never did get to properly thank you for helping me out before.”

”Eeeyup.”

You raise your brow questionably. “You don’t talk a lot do you?”

”Nnnope.”

You chuckle to yourself. “Thought so.” You grab a cup of punch, sipping at the juice. “I didn’t catch your name.”

”Name’s Big Macintosh, but ya can just call me Big Mac.”

You finish your drink, giving off an audible exhale. “Well then. Nice to see you again Big Mac.” You say your goodbyes and move on to the buffet table. You’re eager to try the fruits of your labor. You pick up one treat in particular, a glazed vanilla cupcake with raspberry filling. It was the first one you made all by yourself. You sink your teeth into your creation, the explosion of flavor almost making you cream yourself.

”It’s that good huh?” Your eyes go wide at that voice. ”I didn’t expect you to be so lively with the screens I saw. Can’t win them all I suppose.” The cupcake loses its flavor as you swallow.

“Nurse Redheart.”

”Oh so you do remember me. How grand.”

“What do you want?”

”Oh nothing. Enjoy your cupcake?” OH shit what’d she do to it!? She laughs heartily, “Exactly the reaction I was looking for.” That bi- Calm down, remember what Pinkie said.You begin to laugh along with her, cutting her off. ”Why are you laughing?”

“It’s funny. Why else would I laugh?”

”But I-“

“It’s cute, really it is. Maybe one day you’ll grow out of it.” You roll away from her, confident in how you handled yourself.

Pinkie wraps her hoof around you. ”I’m happy about how you acted there.”

“I figured I’d give it a shot. You can’t take all the work.” You score the rest of your cupcake in her mouth, the mare eagerly accepting the treat.

She swallows and licks her lips, “Hmmmm tasty! You’re almost as good as me.”

“Almost.” That smile of hers… You can’t help but smile back.

The party rages on for some hours. Ultimately though, it’s the slow and steady who win the race. Unless you’re Pinkie though, she always wins. The Cakes help the tired ponies out the door, leaving only a few left. Twilight’s talking to another unicorn by the door while you help Pinkie clean up. ”So did you enjoy your party Anon?”

“Depends, did you?”

”Only if you did.”

“Then I guess we’re at a stand still. We’ll have to see next time.”

”I’ll hold you to that.”

The pair of unicorns approaches you, Pinkie Pie disappearing as per usual. ”So this is the gentlecolt you told me about?”

”Yes, he’s a bit overbearing, but I think you can handle him.”

“I am right here you know?” You laugh as they try to apologize. “It’s alright, just don’t make things weird.”

”Are you alright Anon? You seem a bit-“

“What? I feel great, like I could run a marathon. So to speak…” You catch her off guard once more, the mare stumbling on her words.

”Well- This is my friend Rarity.”

“Sup.”

”And this is Anon.”

”Charmed.”

You can sense some inner hostility, but nothing you haven’t seen before. “I presume I’ll be staying with you next?”

”That’d be correct.”

“So, tomorrow morning you can pick me up. What time sounds reasonable to you?”

”Actually, you’ll be going with her tonight.”

“Tonight? But I thought…”

”Rarity works in the morning, so we planned for you to leave with her tonight.”

But… you looked forward to that one last night here. “There has to be some way…”

”Did you want to stay? If you really want to-“

Listen to yourself Anon. Remember who you are. Who you are… Or is it who you were? Dammit this is confusing… You shake your head. “Whatever works for you.”

”Good,” Twilight says, “I’ll go get your stuff.”

”We should probably wait outside.”

“Yeah ok.” You roll out the door, the cold air hitting you like a brick wall.

”I don’t know how the others treated you, but in my house there are some rules to be followed.” And here we go… You tune her out, focusing on the pleasant breeze. The familiar heat of the bakery is absent outside the walls. You’re not sure if any other place will quite match up.

Twilight and Pinkie emerge from the door, Twilight plopping the bag in your lap. ”Well I better be headed home. I shouldn’t leave Spike alone for very long.” She trots off after saying her goodbyes.

”We best be going as well Anon, come.”

“Give me a second alright.”

You roll next to Pinkie, her hair slightly deflated. “I wis-“

She wraps her hooves around you. ”I know Anon.” You hug her back, enjoying the rhythm of her heartbeat. ”So what did you think of the party?”

You pull back, a grin swept across your face. “Depends on you.”

”Depends on you.” Your laugh is soft and tender, mirroring her own.

“Let’s do this again sometime.”

”And I’ll hold you to that.” You roll down the street beside Rarity. You look back, Pinkie waving one last time.

Chapter 6: Future Designs

Rarity shuts the door behind you and lets out an exasperated sigh. ”Your room is down that hall and to the right. Don’t make a lot of noise, I need my beauty sleep.” She retreats up the stairs without a second to waste. She just left you here… That… that… Soothe your jimmies Anon. Keep calm. It’s not going to last forever.

You go down the hall and enter your room. The guest room is about what you’d expect. A simple bed, barely large enough to hold a pony, let alone you. It has a small closet and window, the moon shining bright through it. That bed won’t do at all. You turn some knobs on your wheelchair. It folds out into a makeshift bed, just what you needed. Throwing some blankets atop of you and stuffing a pillow under your head you rest. This is going to be a long month.

You wake up early, something obviously wrong. You sit up, shivering slightly and tightening the knobs on your chair. There’s nothing here. And that’s what’s wrong. You rub your eyes and roll out into the kitchen. The air is clean and bland, making you miss Sugarcube Corner all the more. Spices and flour and sugar. How could a kitchen be any different? You set about making yourself some breakfast, deciding you’d better start the day out right.

There’s the smell you’ve been missing. You flip the pancakes, the sizzle music to your ears. Some bacon and eggs would be superb. Not like you’d actually get any of that. ”Excuse me?” a voice asks behind you.

“Yes?”

You can’t ruin your breakfast by looking away. ”Who are you?”

“We met yesterday, remember?”

”I’ve never met you before.” You quickly look towards the voice, finding a tiny filly standing in the doorway.

“Oh, crap I thought you were Rarity.”

”Who are you?” You slide the pancakes onto a plate, forming a nice little stack.

“Anon’s the name.” Questing was the game. “And who are you?”

”I’m Sweetie Belle, Rarity’s my older sister.” Let’s hope the apple falls far from the tree. You pop open a bottle of syrup and coat the pancakes with a thin layer. Sitting yourself at the table, Sweetie Belle plops down beside you. “You uh- aren’t afraid of me?”

”No, why would I be?”

“I figured everyone in this town hated me.”

”Well I don’t hate you.” You smile and cut into your pancakes.

”You going to eat all those?”

“I was kinda planning on it?”

”Oh, ok.”

You look at her for a bit, finally giving in. “Go grab a plate.”

She’s back in a jiffy, plate in hoof. You slide half of the pancakes over to her, working on your own. She takes a bite, “Holy hay!”

”Watch your mouth young lady!” Rarity makes her entrance, gasping at the sight of you two.

”Sweetie Belle you get away from him this instant.”

”But Rarity, he made pancakes.”

”No buts, now get up to your room and get ready for school.” Sweetie Belle pouts, leaving the two of you alone. ”What’s the matter with you? Did you listen to anything I said?!”

You take another bite of your delicious breakfast. “Nnnope.”

”I told you to stay away from her, and the first thing you do is make her breakfast?!”

“For crying out loud don’t be such a drama queen.”

”Don’t you tell me how to act you heathen.”

“And here we go…”

”I won’t have you hurt Sweetie Belle like you did to that other filly. I will not.” Oh shit you completely forgot about her. ”You’re going to stay in your room until this month is over, and that’s that.”

“I don’t think so. Twilight put me in your care, and that’s exactly what you’re going to do.”

”Are you trying to intimidate me?”

“I don’t need to. Are you going to break your friend’s trust because you have a personal grudge?”

”I’d never…”

“If I wanted to rape your little kid, then guess what lady? I would.”

”You’re a monster.”

“Thanks for noticing, anything else we need to talk about?” You smile, finishing the last of your meal. “Thought so.”

You clean your dishes, Rarity leaving while you were busy. You might have gone a bit far with her, but what she said was true. The things you’ve done were evil, but you were doing them in the name of good, so that makes it okay right? Alexander the Great had to release some steam every once and a while. Why should you be any different? You lift your chest high, rolling after Rarity. “Because I’m better than him.”

You call out to Rarity. No response, typical. You explore the house, finding her slaving away in one of the back rooms. You knock at the open door. “Rarity can I come in?”

”The answer is no.”

“No is the new yes don’t you know?” You roll on in, avoiding her scattered spools of cloth. “About that talk five minutes ago-“

”Going to apologize?

“You aren’t going to make this easy are you?”

”Exactly what do you think my answer is?”

Cool it Anon, just cool it. “You know, I came into this town trying to be a team player. Trying to be a nice guy.”

”You raped a filly!”

“I said trying.”

”There is nothing you can say to make what you did right. Celestia would have your head.”

“And I wouldn’t blame her. What I did was evil, I have no doubts about that, but I wouldn’t dare do it again.”

“Of course. You’re nothing with your broken body. People like you don’t change. You’ll be right back to it when you’re done here.”

“Don’t think to know me princess. In fact,” sorry Pinkie, “why don’t you go and fuck yourself.”

”How dare you!?”

“No, fuck you. You drag me into your home, away from my friends, belittle me when I try and apologize, and take offense when it pisses me off? Shove it up your ass.” I think you’re rage broke Anon. Shut up brain. “I didn’t expect you to forgive me. All I wanted was a chance, and it seems I lost mine already.” You roll out of the room. “I’m not the same guy I was three months ago.”

~~~

It’s been a couple days since you got here. You’ve kept to yourself in your room, trying to come up with something to say. It always plays out bad in your head. You sigh as you look at the door. ”Just talk to her.”

“It’s not that easy dude.”

”Just say you want to start over.”

“What part of ‘it isn’t that easy’ don’t you understand?”

”You’re overthinking it.”

“I’m sure I am.”

”Then go.”

“She’s sleeping already. I shouldn’t wake her.”

”And since when did you care?”

“Since I had time to think about what I’ve done. Since I made friends…”

”You? Friends? Say it ain’t so.”

“Shut up, you got the book or what?”

”I didn’t think you cared about the series.”

“Well it helps me take my mind off of things.”

”Ain’t that the truth.” He sits down on your bed, still cloaked in the shadow. ”I haven’t seen you in a month, what chapter were we on?”

“Six. Page 144.”

He laughs, his voice cracking, “Paid that much attention huh?” A thought strikes you.

“Why didn’t you come and see me?”

”Even I’m not stupid enough to intrude in Pinkie’s room.”

“Yeah, she’s quite the handful…” You wish you were with her now…

”Let’s begin.”

~~~

You get a head start in the morning, waking up before anyone else. The best thing about waking up, is a dick not in your butt. They don’t have any Folgers so you’ll have to improvise. You put the brew on, setting out the materials for your breakfast. Pancakes, fruit quiche, and muffins. Good enough to bed any mare that comes your way. Pinkie taught you right. ”Sweetie, what did I say about getting into my- Anon.”

You put on a smile, gesturing her across the table. “Why don’t you have a seat over there?” She sits across the table. “Please, help yourself.”

She pours herself a cup of coffee and a slice of quiche. She opens her mouth to speak, you putting your hand to cut her off. “A great man once said to me, ‘Seek first to understand, then to be understood.’ I’ve put use to that phrase.” You take a muffin, buttering the top. “I know why it is you hate me, and I agree with you. I have done terrible terrible things, and do not expect forgiveness.”

”Anon-“

“Please let me finish.” She nods. “This is the cycle we find ourselves in, a cycle fueled by hate. I want to throw a wrench in that cycle.”

”You want to start over.”

“It takes two to tango Rarity. Will you be my dance partner? Theoretically.”

”If it would mean we could move past this dastardly standoff, then yes I would.”

You extend your hand. “Shake on it.” She takes your own, weakly shaking it. It was better than nothing. “Please dig in. I made it for you both.”

”Both?”

”Whoops.”

You coax her out of hiding, taking a seat beside Rarity. ”What did I tell you about sneaking about?”

“That it’s unlady like.”

”Precisely.”

You nod at her, extending your hand again. “Hi, my name’s Anon.”

”Pleasure, I am Miss Rarity.”

“Lovely to meet you ma’am.” You sit together and enjoy a delightful breakfast. Whoever said you couldn’t start over?

~~~

”Hold still Anon.” A bead of sweat rolls down your face. Your arms are shaking under the strain.

“How long is this supposed to take?” you ask between puffs of air.

”It’ll be over soon enough.”

The cold metal touches your hips, sending a shiver up your back. Your arms aren’t strong enough to keep yourself held up forever. You grimace as you feel yourself loosing your grip. “Gonna fall.”

”Just… one… more… second…” She pulls back the tape, “Done.”

“Thank god.” You let go, landing on your stomach. Sweetie Belle managed to place a cushion under you, saving you a painful fall. “So did you get what you needed?”

”I *should* take more to double check.” Oh god no. ”But I’m sure these will do.”

“And you’ll have it ready by when?”

”I have a long list of things to do already…”

“Oh, well then.”

”I should have it ready by tomorrow.”

“You are the best seamstress in Ponyville.”

”Only Ponyville?”

“Equestria. My bad.”

“Please don’t feed her Anon,” Sweetie Belle begs.

You laugh. She certainly has an ego alright. “Everyone needs a little boost now and again.”

”Anon knows what he’s talking about, don’t you?”

“Always.”

Rarity prances into her work room. You’d asked her if it wasn’t too much for her to make you some new clothes. You shouldn’t have been surprised by her response. She didn’t waste any time in getting her measuring tools and getting to work. You even had to hold yourself up so she could measure accurately. Your arms still weren’t what they used to be, but thanks to Pinkie… ”What’s wrong Anon?”

You smile and stroke the filly’s mane. “Just thinking about someone.”

~~~

”Arms up.” You do as instructed, Rarity pulling the shirt over your head. You pull your arms through the short sleeves, the cloth fitting you rather nicely. ”Now the bottom.”

“I think I can do that by myself.”

She eyes you curiously, “You don’t have to be embarrassed about it.”

“You think I’m embarrassed? You’re a funny gal.”

”Well fine, have it your way.” She tosses you the next item, a well crafted pair of boxers. It’s a little weird for her to help you into them. ”I still don’t see the problem. It’s not like you were exactly keeping those on in the first place.”

You slip them through your legs, snuggling just right on your waist. “And I did that in front of strangers. It’s different around someone you know.”

”I think you have that backwards.”

“Maybe,” you chuckle.

”Do you need help on the next one, or would you like to do it yourself?”

“I’m going to need your help yeah.” She turns around positioning the article beneath your feet. ”Ready?”

“Don’t make it weird.” You lift yourself up as she slides the pants up your legs. When you feel it’s all the way on you ease yourself down. You look down, a little surprised. “You even got the zipper?”

”I followed your design to the letter, is it what you wanted?” You zip up and roll in front of a mirror. You’re a spitting image of yourself before you came here. ”I thought it was a little simple, but those patient clothes just had to go.”

You touch the mirror, feeling a little of yourself coming back. “It’s perfect.”

”If that’s what you really want…” It’s like you’re staring into the past, back home… before you left. After months of searching for answers you’d given up. You changed, and not for the better. Maybe this was your second chance… ”Anon?”

“Sorry Rarity, thinking to myself.”

”Do you want the second part of your gift?”

“Second Part?”

”Be ready to leave in a few minutes.”

“Where are we going?”

”Out.”

“No shit,” you laugh, “Where to?”

She gets to the top of the stairs and disappears from view. ”You’ll see.”

You turn to Sweetie Belle, a fiendish grin on your face. “So Sweetie…”

”It’s not ladylike to gossip.” Dammit.

You just get to wait. Anxiety soon sets in. Where is she taking you? It’s driving you crazy just thinking about it. Tap tap tap tap tap… Every second feels like a minute. You start tapping your foot again. “How long are you going to-“ Wait. That was your foot. You look down, the little bugger jumping lightly. “YES! FUCK YEAH!” If you can move your foot, then how about… Nope, not a thing. But still, PROGRESS!

”What are you yelling about?” Rarity appears, wearing a light pink dress with gold trim, gems adorned into the fabric.

“Wow. You look…”

”Fabulous is the word dear.” You smile, Rarity joining you at the bottom. ”So what is it you’re so excited about.”

“See for yourself.”

She looks down at your foot, gasping. ”My word!”

“I know right, it’s great.” She rushes out of the room, coming back in a flash. A soft cushion covers your feet in a jiffy. You look down to see Rarity fixing a pair of boots on your feet. “Fashion first, physical wellbeing second. Only you Rarity.”

”I could not let such a crime of fashion go unattended.” All you can do is shake your head and smile. You’re taken by the chair through the dimly lit streets.

“Do you think we could stop by Sugarcube Corner? To say hi.”

”We can’t delay if we are to make it in time.” You pass by the bakery, your eyes trained on it. Is Pinkie in there? How’s she doing? Rarity pulls you along, the bakery disappearing behind a corner. Laugh it off. That’s what Pinkie would do. You try, but can’t muster a peep. It’s not that easy. ”Well here we are.”

You look up to the sign, the name etched into the fine wooden base. “The Gem?”

”It is simply divine.” You’re taken into the establishment, and fuck, it is fancy. Custom counter tops, dim interior, fancy attire.

“Do you see the chandelier? It’s hovering.”

Rarity approaches the counter. ”Reservation for two. Under Rarity.”

“What’s the point of that I wonder?”

”Right this way please.”

“I mean, I see how they did it. I just ain’t gettin’ the why.”

”Are you coming Anon?” You almost forgot about that.

“Yeah yeah.” The ponies give you one glance and keep to themselves. It’s a relief they don’t just stare. You’re led to a table near the back.

”Hi there, my name’s Kaylee and I’ll be your server today. Can I start you off with something to drink?”

”I shall have a sparkling water dear.”

”And what for you sir?”

“Let’s see here…” You open the menu and try to decipher the cryptic language. You aren’t even sure this is Equestrian. “I’ll just take a water, thanks.”

”Alright, I’ll be back in a few minutes with your drinks.” She leaves the two of you alone. ”So, what do you think? Isn’t it fabulous?”

“It’s fancy, but I prefer things a little more down to earth.”

”You sound like Applejack.”

“Don’t tell her that. She’ll kill me for sure.”

”You worry too much Anon. It’s a thing of the past.”

The waitress returns with the drinks, “Are you ready to order?”

“Oh yes. I’ll take the Verdi Mescolati with honey pepper vinaigrette.”

”Great choice madam, and for you?”

Fuck fuck fuck. “I’ll take the same.” Score 2-0. Flawless victory.

”I’ll have that right out for you.” You wait until the waitress leaves.

“This ‘thing of the past’ is why everyone hates me.”

“They just need to give you a second chance, like I did.”

“Some people don’t deserve second chances.”

She sets down her water, “Don’t speak like that. Everyone deserves a chance.”

“Do they though,” you take a swig of water, “This wasn’t the first town I visited.” You’ve been to plenty…

”Listen here, a pony can always change, it’s always a choice.” She picks up her drink, “I want no more talk of this to ruin our dinner.”

“Then what do you want to talk about?”

”Well. Have you seen the latest design’s from Canterlot? Stunning I say.”

“I can’t say that I have.”

”You’ve lived in my house for weeks and you haven’t read *any* of them?”

“Sorry?”

”Well, not everyone can appreciate the arts.” Oh god this is going to be a long dinner. You sip at your water, occasionally nodding and voicing interest.

”You’re food madam.”

”Ah yes, exactly what I’ve been waiting for.”

”And there you are…” She sets down a small salad in front of you, an orange dressing covering the assorted veggies.

“Thank you.”

”You’re welcome. Anything else I can get for you today?”

”We’re fine darling.” She leaves you two alone to enjoy your dinner. You place a piece into your mouth, wanting to gag immediately. This just isn’t good.

Rarity finishes her bite, “Isn’t it just delish?”

You swallow, forcing a smile. “It’s the best I’ve had here.” The water tasted better than this. She’s about to take another bite but instead stares at the bowl, mouth agape.

“They forgot the croutons. Out of all the things that could happen this is the worst… possible… thing!” She falls on the couch dramatically. Where did that thing even come from?

“You okay?”

”Okay?” She gets out of her seat. “How could you ask if things were okay?”

“It’s just croutons.”

”Just”! If I do something nice, I want it to be perfect. Wait until I give them a piece of my mind.” She rushes off before you can respond. Damn it’s hot in here, is she feeling that too? It must be all these candles and lanterns. You roll across the room and into the back for some fresh air. Opening the door to the alley you go outside.

A breath of fresh air does wonders for you. You lean your head back and take a load off. Second chances... ”Nice to see you Anon.” You look down the alley, a trio of stallions emerging.

“Excuse me, I don’t know who you are.”

Another stallion emerges, an earth pony from the looks of him. He’s older than the rest, his hair slick and oily a trio of money bags on his flank. His suit suits him well, Rarity would probably compliment him on it. ”Do you know who I am?”

You wouldn’t have asked if you knew. They walk closer to you, blocking the exit. ”I’ll take your silence as a no.” The door to the restaurant slams shut. Oh fuck you raw, this isn’t good. You pull at the door desperately. ”It wasn’t as hard to find you as they said. Once Rarity made a reservation for two, we knew we had you.”

You roll away from the approaching ponies. “Who the hell are you?”

He laughs, his henchmen joining in,“My name is Filthy Rich, not that you’d recognize the name.” He’s right, it doesn’t ring a bell. ”But I do have one that you might remember. I believe you got acquainted with her the night you arrived.” Typically, he pauses for dramatic effect. ”Diamond Tiara.”

Diamond Tiara? Doesn’t ring any bells. He must be- “Oh. Oooooh!”

”Oh indeed.” You move further back in the alley, only delaying the inevitable. A dead-end, how quaint. ”You hurt my daughter, and now you don’t have your precious Twilight or Pinkie Pie to protect you.”

“RARITY!”

“She’s not going to help you, we have taken care of that.”

Oh no he didn’t… “The fuck did you do to her?!”

”Look at the fire in his eyes. You boys might just enjoy this.”

“WHAT DID YOU DO?!”

“She’s restrained, no harm will come to her, but you…”

One of the larger stallions approach you. “You’re in for a world of hurt.” The stallion rears up and brings his hooves down on your head. You gasp in pain, Filthy Rich chuckling to himself.

”Don’t dispose of him too quickly. Make him suffer.”

”Yes sir.” He rears up again for another blow, hitting you in the chest. You grunt as Mr. Rich disappears from view. ”Let’s have a good look at ya.” He pulls your face up, pounding a hoof into it.

He brings your head back up. ”Smile for the camera.” You spit a wad of blood in his face, angering him further. He pounds both hooves at your head, sloppily you might add. You cock your head to the side, his hooves cracking against the stone wall. ”Feathery flank infested freak! HAY!” You punch him in the throat, shutting him up.

Your attack does little more than stun him unfortunately. Taking the opportunity to escape you roll around the big one, only coming face to face with the next two. “Going somewhere?” He bucks the side of your chair and knocks you over. ”He ain’t going nowhere.” You crawl towards the exit. ”Feisty one ain’t he?”

One kicks you onto your stomach, his hoof resting on your wrist. He grinds it into the dirt slowly, pain overwhelming you. ”I think we should break him all over again. What do you think?”

”The boss would just love that.” He pounds a hoof in your chest eliciting a small scream. ”Music to our ears.” He pounds again and again, each strike damaging you further.

“Pl- Gah!”

”Hold up, what’d you say freak?”

“Plea- se... stop…”

”That’s just hilarious. Hear that? He wants us to stop.”

”I think he said he wanted more actually.”

”You know, I think that’s what he said too.” You close your eyes, hoping this nightmare would just end.

”Dude you hear that?”

”Hear wha- AH!” One of the henchmen falls onto you. You can feel his weight crushing your lungs.

”Who the-“ You open your eyes just in time to see the last two thugs beaten to a pulp by an unknown force. The sway of purple moves at superhuman speeds, knocking them right onto their flanks. You manage to get a fleeting look at your savior, his oversized purple hat atop his head.

His costume covers his entire body, keeping every part a secret. He kneels next to you, “Are you alright?”

You cough painfully, but force a smile. “Been better.” *cough* “About time you saved me for once.” You try to sit up, only to fall right back down.

”Stay still, you need to rest.”

“No rest. Have to- *cough* help Rarity.”

He looks up, “Get him out of here. I’ll get Rarity. Just stay calm.”

“I’m alwa… calm…”

Chapter 7: An Apple A Day

You thrash about in your… where are you? You feel around, finding nothing but wood. If there’s one thing you do know it’s that you’re moving. You must be on a wagon of some kind. Another shake wakes you fully as you try to sit up. ”Stay down, we ain’t outta the woods yet.”

“Applejack, why-?”

”Just quiet down and be still.”

You can’t be still. “Where’s Rarity? What happened to her? Wh-“

”She’s fine sugarcube. I’ll explain later.”

That’s no good. You need to see for yourself. Your chest throbs painfully, keeping you on your back. You feel yourself slipping back. “You better…” You fall unconscious again, the rocky wagon easing you down. She better…

~~~

You open your eyes again to darkness. Sitting up awakens the dwelling wounds on you. You groan feeling around in the hay. A barn. Where the fuck is there a barn in Ponyville? You massage your wrist, thankfully unbroken after the encounter. Your jaw is sore as all hell, but you’ll be talking just fine. Poking yourself in the stomach feels like you’re being stabbed. Not a good sign.

The barn door creaks open, light pouring in from the gap. You hold out your hand to block the blinding light. ”You ‘wake there?”

“As much as I’ll ever be.”

You recognize the voice as Applejack, the mare coming over to you. ”How ya feeling?”

“Like a group of thugs beat the shit out of me.”

”Understandable. Here,” she pulls at your waist, “Put your arm around me.”

“No funny business?”

”Not today.” You comply with her, grasping her side. She starts dragging you along, your jeans grinding against the floor. She peaks outside the barn before continuing. ”Have to make sure we’re not being watched. Dangerous times for you.”

“I was built for danger.”

”You’re still being rebuilt. We need to take some precautions.”

“Where are we going?”

”The house. Someone wants to talk to you.” You enter the house, Applejack setting you up on a chair. ”I’ll get her real quick.” She moves to the door, a pink blob jetting out from it. Oh lordy. She wraps her hooves around you before you can react. You smile, forcing down the pain. ”I’ll leave you two alone for a minute.”

“Thanks AJ,” you wheeze. She shuts the door, leaving the two of you alone.

Her hair deflates as it clicks closed. ”Are you alright?”

You rest your head on her shoulder. “As good as you can expect.”

She notices your pain, releasing her grip. ”I didn’t see-“

“Don’t worry about it. It was worth it.”

She looks down at the floor. ”I was so worried about you…”

“It’s fine. I’m safe.” No, not the tears. “Pinkie…”

”I’m sorry it’s just-“

You grab her and pin her against you, ignoring the pain. “Do you feel that beat Pinkie?” She nods. You wrap your chin around her neck. “As long as yours still beats, so will mine.” A wet dribble rolls down your neck. “You have my word on that.” She pulls you tighter. Damn she smells good. “Baking recently?”

”Just the usual stuff. It gets lonely by myself.”

“I’ll make sure to drop by.” Something’s off, you can feel it. “You’re not the only one who came to see me are you?”

”Yeah, Twilight’s in the other room.”

“Alright,” you pull away from her, “Can you get her for me?”

She nods, backing out through the door. Twilight pokes her head out, “Anon.”

“Come on in, bring the others.” The three of them pile into the room, Pinkie returning to her bouncy self. She may fool them, but not you. They look at you expectantly, waiting for you to start. “What happened last night?” They turn to Applejack. “You were there?”

”I was. I stumbled upon that alley you were in on my way out of town.”

“And what did you see?”

”I saw you lying on the floor, three stallions knocked out around you.”

“And?”

”The uh- Mysterious Mare Do Well was there too. She told me to get you out of town.” Your mind is still a little full of fuck right now.

“The Mysterious who?

”Mare Do Well,” Twilight explains, “She’s a local hero of sorts.” Yeah, the hero who knocked you off a mountain.

“What happened next?”

“Well I loaded you onto my wagon and pulled you home. The last thing I saw was Rarity and the Mare leaving through the front. That’s all I know.”

You rub your jaw as Applejack finishes her story. Well that answer’s one question, but you still have another. “Then where am I?”

”Sweet Apple Acres.”

“Not in Ponyville?”

”Far from it.”

That’s no good. “I’m going back.”

Pinkie jumps right out of her seat, “No you are not!”

“I won’t run from them. It’s not in my nature.”

”You were lucky to escape alive once, Filthy Rich won’t slip up again,” Twilight says.

That name. “You know he did this?”

”The whole town does. That’s why you aren’t safe there.”

“They’ll just turn me in?”

”Filthy Rich has money and power. A dangerous combination.”

“He proved that alright.” That bastard can just flaunt himself in public and there isn’t a thing you can do about it. Laugh it off. Once you get better, you’ll take him down. You always win in the end.

”It’d be best if you stay here with Applejack. She’s out of the way and it’ll be a while before they find you.”

“Don’t have much of a choice now do I?”

”Just stay safe. That’s the only thing you need to worry about right now.”

“I promise.”

”Pinkie promise?”

You smile, raising your hand. “Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”

”I’ll get your stuff from Rarity’s when I can. They’re watching all of us.”

All of them? “Then why am I safe here? You could’ve led them straight to me.”

”We already thought about that trust me. I teleported my way here, and Pinkie… well she Pinkied her somehow.” You get that, there’s no escaping her.

“And what about Applejack? They’ll be nosing around here as well.”

“Don’t look so concerned sugarcube. I made my feelings about you rather clear, they won’t suspect me for a while.” They took every possible precaution to get you here. They’re the closest thing you’ve had to friends.

“Thanks girls. You really pulled me out of the fire here.”

”No problem, but it’d best if we got going.”

“Keeping up appearances and so forth, I get it.” Twilight disappears in a flash of light, Applejack stepping outside. “Pinkie.”

”I need to go as well, don’t I?”

“Yeah. I wish you could stay.”

”Just tell me you’ll be safe here.”

“Will that make you feel better?” She nods. “I’ll be safer than Angel is at Fluttershy’s.”

”Good enough for me.” She hugs you again. ”Until next time.”

And just like that, she’s gone. “Until next time.”

Applejack struts in, dropping a parcel at your feet. ”Get up and get going. You stay here, you work here.”

“But- I can’t walk.”

”What do you think those are for?” You unwrap the package, pulling out a pair of crutches. ”Twilight thought you could use ‘em now. Though I don’t know how.”

“I can take a guess.” You place the crutches beneath your armpits and hoist yourself up. You find a stable position and put more and more weight on your legs. Finally, after some scouring you find the correct ratio. “Where to first?”

”Try and keep up.” You swing yourself after her. By now your eyes have finally adjusted to the light allowing you to view your surroundings. You’re definitely not in Ponyville anymore. The barn and house sit in a vacant lot, surrounded by an orchard that expands for god knows how long. You struggle to stay behind her. Getting used to using crutches is harder than it sounds. You head through the trees, deeper into the orchard.

You come across a series of buckets, apples packed inside. ”You ever bucked an apple tree before pretty boy?” Poking fun at your bruises, classy.

“Can’t say that I have.”

”Well there ain’t much to it.” She back up to the tree. ”Put your weight in the hips, get on them forehooves and- WHACK!” Apples pour down from the tree tops filling the buckets. ”That’s all there is to it.”

“Well that’s nice to know.”

”Try it,” is this mare serious?

“I can’t move my legs.”

”Afraid you can’t do it?”

“More like worried that I’ll break something.”

She rolls her eyes and moves onto the next tree. ”Then you get to carry the buckets.” Joy to the world. She puts a rope around your waist, tying the other end to the buckets. You manage to move them with enough force, following Applejack. ”Come on, we’re burning daylight.” That’s what you were hoping to do.

~~~

The sun sets in Equestria, signaling the end to a hard day’s work. You collapse onto your bed, sweat pouring down your face. ”Dinner’s in five, look presentable.” Your chest is on fire, your arms are shaking and you’re fairly certain you’ve contracted malaria. Dinner sounds damn tasty at this point. You weakly go and shower off, the stench of sweat still strong on you. They don’t have any bathing creams or shampoos like the others did. But they have to make do with what they have, can’t blame them for living.

Slipping back into your sweaty clothes leaves you feeling grimy and nasty. You find the Apple’s sitting around the table waiting for you. “Took your sweet time now didn’t you.”

“Apologies I didn’t mean to keep you waiting.”

The filly at the end of the table stares at you. ”What are you?”

“Just a man trying to get better.”

”Works for me.” That was easy enough.

A familiar stallion walks through the door, bumping a platter on the table. ”Anon.”

“Big Mac.”

The elderly lady licks her chops, “Dig in everypony.” Roasted greens and apple slices are thrown about the room in a hurry. Applejack chews nonchalantly on half a turnip.

”That there’s Granny Smith and Applebloom. You already met Big Mac.”

“Indeed I have.”

”You waiting for an engraved invitation?”

“Excuse me?”

”Dig in for Celestia’s sake.”

“I think I’ll wait until things aren’t quite as… chaotic.”

She gulps down her bite, going in for another one. ”Suit yourself, but there may not be any left by then.”

“I’ll take my chances.” And boy was that a mistake. Not fifteen minutes later and they were licking the scraps off the floorboard. Not literally, but damn did they clean off that platter.

”Told ya to dig in.” The old lady chuckles, and you join along with her.

“I’ll take your word from now on.”

Applejack, Big Mac, and Applebloom begin cleaning up the mess. ”Come on in the back sonny, there should be some left over.” You thank the old mare and follow her into the kitchen. She presents a small bowl of greens which you tend to gratefully. ”You’re not as bad as they say boy.”

“Ma’am?”

“They said you was some kind of freak. An evil thing from the forest. They was wrong.”

“I’m afraid they weren’t ma’am.”

”I have a feeling about ponies, and I get a good feeling about you.”

“Nobody’s perfect.”

She turns your jaw painfully until you’re looking dead at her. ”I know what you’ve done. They think me a fool, but I listen real close. You’re Anon, that adventurer.” The old girl has a surprisingly strong grip. ”There’s good in you yet child. Don’t let anyone make you think otherwise.” She lets go, “Apple Pie?”

You smile, shaking your head. “I think I’ll just head off to bed if you don’t mind.”

”But of course, don’t let the hay roaches bite.” Hay roaches? You don’t want to know.

~~~

You lay down in bed, sleep quickly finding you. A day of exhausting work will do that to a guy. It doesn’t last very long before you’re awoken again. ”You smell like Ursa filth.”

“If only it was that good.”

”I’m glad to see you’re safe here.” Safe, that’s one way to put it.

You sit up, your ribs aching. “Why do you even care?”

”Because.”

“Yeah, that’s an appropriate answer.”

”Does it really matter why?”

“To me? Yeah it does. You almost get me killed, you read me bed time stories and turn around and save my life? Why?”

He searches for the answer, only to answer a question with a question. ”Why did you save Fluttershy?”

“Because.”

”That’s an appropriate answer.” You see what he did there.

“I guess- in some way, I thought I could atone somehow. By doing a good deed I could make up for what I’ve done.”

”And would you do so again? If you knew what it meant?”

“Break my bones, get poisoned, attacked by a mini dragon, and get beaten by a group of thugs? Yeah I think I would.”

”Then I guess we’ve got more in common than you thought.”

“I guess so.” You reach out your hand towards him. “Hand it over.” He chuckles, taking the Daring Do book from his bag and giving it to you. “So… Chapter 14 was it?”

~~~

You wake up sore as all hell again. It’s been a week since you started staying here and are you paying for it. Applejack has you working your ass off. When you aren’t working, you sleep, and when you don’t sleep you manage to grab a bite to eat. Since all you really do is pull shit you’ve had more time to think about the past. Not really something you’ve looked forward to doing. With the things you’ve done, a man would’ve blown his brains out in self-hatred. Fortunately, you don’t have a gun.

The familiar whack catches you off-guard as apples rain from the sky. You tie the knot around your waist as Applejack moves on. She really only cares about the apples, her name is Applejack after all. You set the barrels around the tree and take a minute to wipe the sweat off your face. ”Don’t even think about taking a break. We still got half a field ta go.” You sink lower on the ground, giving your legs more of the weight. All this movement has caused a little awakening in your lower body, but it’s not as much as you’d like. They have been recovering rather quickly you wager. Another whack signals you to keep moving.

~~~

You finally get to the house, Applebloom out front. ”Ya got a package here Anon.” A package? Works for you. Applejack takes Applebloom inside, do all their names have to do with apples? You unwrap the package, a couple sets of clothes packed inside. You open the letter. ”Dear Anon, I’m sorry I couldn’t apologize in person, but I’m ashamed of how things turned out that night. I hope you can forgive me. Everypony deserves a second chance. I made some new clothes for you as well. Applejack likely has you wearing yours out. Stay safe. The best seamstress in Equestria, Rarity.”

She knew just what you needed, besides a bath. You put the clothes in your room and head down to eat. You dive right in this time, knowing there wouldn’t be anything left if you waited. One must adapt to the circumstances. You give a nod to the family after helping clean up and go to bed. Sleep is the prime desire in your life right now. It’s too bad even that isn’t what it used to be. You dream, but what you dream of scares you more than it should.

~~~

You bolt out of bed in a cold sweat, falling flat on your face on the floor. Another nightmare. Fucking perfect. You don’t remember what it was about, but you don’t need to. Some things are best left forgotten. You take a quick shower and get ready for work, another long day ahead of you. Whack. Whack. Apples. Buckets. Move. A simple drawn out routine. “Applejack, can I ask you a question?”

”Well ya just- *whack* “did partner.”

“Can I ask you three questions?”

”Shoot.”

“If I were to… go back to how I was. You’d off me right?”

”I don’t follow.”

“Y’know, kill me.”

She shakes her head, “Ponies don’t kill. It’s an unspoken rule.”

“What if you made a promise to, how about then?”

”I guess I’d have to keep that promise. Why you asking? You ain’t planning on rampaging about again are ya?”

“I certainly hope not.”

She stops at a clearing, the sun having fallen beneath the mountains. ”Let’s take a rest here yonder.” You plop down to the floor, your legs trembling painfully. ”Take in the sight pretty boy, it don’t get much better than this.” You lie down on your back next to Applejack. You admire Luna’s work, the night’s sky was certainly majestic. Funny, you never took the time to admire the little things in life. And here you are, looking at the stars with a person who hates your guts. Well, after all this you can’t really say she does. Not really.

“Make me a promise okay AJ?”

”Don’t spoil the mood.”

“Promise me.”

”I ain’t gonna do it Anon. No matter how much you ask.”

“Then I’ll have to do it,” you mutter.

This gets her attention. ”Don’t you dare. Ya hear me? Don’t you dare.”

“I deserve as much. You know I do.”

She gets to her hooves. ”You know what you’re bein right now? Selfish, that’s what. Only thinking about yourself, and for the record I was the one who first said to help you.” What? No, she hated you. ”You may have been a pain in the flank, but there was good in you. We showed you a kindness, and you returned the favor.”

“Bullshit. I’ve been a dick.”

”You gave Fluttershy company. You became friends with Twilight. Rarity wants to keep you as her personal chef now.”

“Quite the accusation, but none of that really-“

”Pinkie Pie.” Your heart skips a beat when you hear her name. ”The others may not have noticed, but she’s been perky lately, more than usual. I don’t what it is you did, but you made her happy.”

“I miss her…”

”Then don’t go having them thoughts like just now. She couldn’t bare it.” She plops down again, still slightly flustered. ”Now shut up and enjoy the stars.”

You smile, looking back to the sky. “Yes ma’am.”

~~~

You find yourself back in Ponyville, sword in one hand. “I know where you’re hiding!” Why are you saying that? You look around, following your instincts. You try to stop yourself. You try to stop it before it begins. But it’s useless. You round about into an alleyway. The tearful cries of your prey only invigorating you. You’re a monster.

You kick over the garbage can, two fillies bumbling out. Applebloom and Sweetie Belle. No… You sheathe your sword and grab them both by the neck. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Let’s get reacquainted.” Drop them you bastard!

”Why Anon? You were our friend.”

You boom out a fiendish laugh. Were you really like this?” “Sorry, but Anon doesn’t have any friends.”

You knee Sweetie Belle in the stomach, knocking her out cold. “Just my one Big friend, his name’s Johnson.” You begin undoing your pants. STOP! “Don’t bother, just enjoy the show.”

This isn’t real, it can’t be real. You lick at her tears, the salty liquid strong on your tongue. “She sure tastes real.” He wipes himself off, moving onto the next filly.

You can only watch helplessly as this fiend does as he pleases. You want to stop him, but you can’t. He tightens his pants, grinning at his work, the two fillies unconscious beneath him. ”Why Anon?”

You look to the door before you, her voice chilling your heart. Don’t go in there. Please don’t. “I want to see this.” He opens the door, Pinkie Pie standing on a chair in front of you.

”I never wanted this to happen.”

Her mane is flat, skin turned grey, a rope tight around her neck. Please don’t. Anything but that. You step in front of her, her eyes red and puffy. ”I never…” You reach out and take a hold of her hoof. You just smile.

“I did.” You kick the chair, blackness surrounding you. “Men like us never change.”

~~~

“NO!” You jump out of bed, even making a few steps before you collapse. You grab your chest, your heart feeling like its going to break through your ribs. A ruckus comes from the hall, Applejack bursting through.

”Anon what’s wrong?” You can hardly breathe, let alone speak. You sob silently in your hands, Applejack comforting you. ”Take it easy big guy.” Were it so easy…

~~~

You step out of the house, breathing the fresh air. Applejack gave you the day off. Nice of her to do so. You silently crutch your way into the orchard. The apples will be fully ripened next week. The tantalizing sweetness already soaks the air. Giving one last look around you find what you’ve been searching for. It’s a beautiful tree, the apples are nice and plump as well. It’s perfect.

You lie down next to the tree, fumbling with your hand. Things are so peaceful here. You can almost hear your dad and sister calling you. You had run away from them, losing them in the trees. It was the first time you had the guts to leave. They found you weak and alone, crying for forgiveness. Your dad carried you home, your sister holding your hand. You were just a child, but here you are again, a grown man. Still the child…

”Anon?” You look up, Applebloom standing in front of you.

“What are you doing up at this hour?”

”I could ask you the same thing.” She sits beside you, her oversized bow flopping about, making you laugh a little. ”You got the day off?”

“Yeah, your big sis let me off.”

”Why?”

“Grown up things.”

”Is that what that’s for?”

“What?”

”The thing you’re holding, is that the grown up thing?”

You look down at your hands, the rope tied in a hangman’s knot. “You could say that.”

She shrugs, “So what do you plan on doing today?”

“I’m thinking about leaving.”

”Leaving? Like on a vacation.”

You shake your head. “No, not like a vacation.”

”Can I come to?”

“NO.” She flinches at your tone. “Sorry, but you can’t go with me.”

”Then why don’t you stay here? I don’t want you to go.”

You laugh, patting her head. “You don’t know what you want.”

”Do you?”

“Well yea…” Really? Is this what you really want?

”I may be a kid, but I know I don’t want you to go.”

“I may not have a choice.”

She snuggles into your lap. ”Everyone has a choice.”

Men like us never change. Everyone has a choice. Which one is it? “I guess I don’t have to go so soon.”

She perks up, hopping up and down in your lap. ”I knew you wouldn’t leave.” You drop the noose and stand up on your crutches. ”Come on, let’s have some fun.”

“I’m up for some of that.”

She leads you through the orchard, eventually coming to a tree house. It’s just like you remember. You lift the filly onto your shoulders and climb up. She helps you reach the top. ”Let me be the first to welcome you to our headquarters.”

“Headquarters for what?”

”The Cutie Mark Crusaders!” She pulls you inside, another filly already inside.

”Anon!” The filly hugs onto your leg.

“Nice to see you Sweetie Belle.”

”I was so worried when you didn’t come home.”

“Don’t be. I’m safe and sound.” She’s relieved to hear you say that. ”I brought you a present!”

“Really? That’s nice of you.”

She fetches a basket from the corner. You pull of the cloth to reveal a stack of pancakes. ”Just like you made them.”

“You didn’t have to do that.”

”I wanted to.” You give her a brief hug. ”Go on, try them!” You take a chunk and savor the flavor. It’s been a while since you had anything that was greens or apples. You take another bite, a feeling of dread washing over you,

Something isn’t sitting right. You can feel it in your gut. Of all the things you’ve learned in life, doubting your intuition is not one of them. You swallow, the fillies picking up on your fear. “Sweetie Belle, how did you get here?”

”I just walked here.”

You can hear Twilight’s voice in your head, ‘They’re watching all of us.’ A creak turns your attention away. Someone, or somepony is outside.

You hush your voice. “I need you to listen carefully, stay out of sight, and be silent.”

”Anon what’s-“

“Now.” You don’t mean to scare them, but you need them safe. You take up position just beside the door, propping yourself against the wall. Taking one of your crutches you lift it over your head, trained on the door. The handle shakes, sweat forming on your forehead. It turns, the door shifting open. Your breathing slows.

The pony steps through, unaware of your presence. You pound the crutch over his head, the wood snapping in two. And he’s out like a light. You sigh and lean back against the wall. ”You okay Doodle Bug?” Shit, there’s more than one.

”Anon, who is that?” they ask, voices shaky with fear.

“A bad pony, is there another way out of here?”

”He’s not moving…”

Don’t go into shock on me. You touch his throat, his pulse steady but weak. “He’s not gone yet. Again, is there another way out of here?”

”It’s my fault, I lead him here.”

“No no no, it’s not your fault. You couldn’t have known.” Not the tears, anything but the tears.

”I’m sorry!” She breaks into a downpour. You hold her head in your shoulder.

”Doodle Bug?!”

“It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault.” You look to Applebloom, frozen in position. “Is there another way out of this place?”

”Wha- Well- I mean-“

“Those ponies want me to leave, not like vacation.” She straightens up, pounding into the floorboards. Underneath is a tunnel that leads down the trunk of the tree.

”Cutie Mark Crusader Escape Tunnel!”

“What would a headquarters be without one?”

”Doodle!”

“Hurry now, down the hatch.”

You place them into the hole. ”Let’s go Anon.”

“I can’t follow you.”

”No, you’re coming to!” You reboard the floor, keeping them safe from the others. They won’t pay for your crimes.

“You’ll thank me one day.” You drag the pony to the center of the room, taking up your position.

”Doodle Bu- What in Celest-“

You pivot through the door, crashing atop of the second pony. He hollers as you push the two of you over the edge. Going, going, going, stop. You roll off of him, the wind knocked out of him by your weight. He tries to get up, only to fall on his face. Taking your last crutch you pick yourself, limping back over to the barn. If there are two, there’s bound to be more. You see the house in the distance. At least there isn’t a swarm outside.

You manage to get through the door. You’re legs feel like they’re on fire, but you don’t have time to feel. ”AJ? Big Mac?” More noises from upstairs. You use the railing to get up, finding your way to the source. It’s just inside your room. You charge in, brandishing your last crutch.

”Time’s up partner.” Applejack’s packing your shit, and not giving a fuck. ”They know you’re here.”

“I already ran into two of them up by the tree house.” She stops and shoots you a worried look. “Don’t worry they’re safe.”

She takes your word on it. ”Don’t just stand around, help me.”

“Of course.” You stow what you have in a duffel bag. “Where am I going to go now? If they knew about you-“

”We already have the place set up. We just need to get you there.”

“We?”

”Us, Anon,” Twilight says from the doorway. It’s relieving to know she’s got your back.

“How did you know?”

”Rarity told me that Sweetie Belle was gone, I made a guess.”

“That’s not very scientific of you.”

”I was in a rush.”

“Touche, what now?”

”Now we get you out of here.” Twilight leads you downstairs, Applejack helping you make the trip. Only having one crutch is a bitch.

There’s already a chariot waiting for you outside. “The fuck do I need a chariot for?”

”Rainbow can’t fly with you on her back, so we have to improvise.”

“F-fly? What’s the big idea?”

”Look Anon, Rainbow’s house is up there in the sky, it’s nice, isolated, and better yet, safe.” Applejack has the plan, but didn’t think it through.

“I think you’re looking over a pretty big flaw with plan. I can’t stand on clouds.”

”Not yet you can’t,” Twilight boasts. Her horn shimmers as she focuses her magical energy. “Magic doesn’t work on me remember?”

”I don’t need to enchant you, just what you’re wearing.” Your clothing glows the same tone as her horn, the purple hue surrounding you. Why the fuck didn’t you ever think of that before?

”Hey guys, what’d I miss?”

”Thanks for coming on such short notice.” You look back to see a cyan Pegasus standing by the chariot. It’s no wonder how she got her name, seeing as how her mane was a mother fucking rainbow.

“So you’re my new guardian?”

She nods, “Name’s Rainbow Dash, good to meet you.”

“Likewise, you sure this spell will work Twilight?”

”I don’t… actually know.”

“Well damn there’s only one way to find out.” You load into the chariot and point to Applejack. “Keep ‘em safe you hear?”

”I’ll do my best.” You look down the road, a cloud of dust coming up the path.

”Remember that promise Anon,” Twilight says.

“Don’t remind me. Stay safe.” She nods as Rainbow pulls you into the air. ”Goodbye.”

Chapter 8: Rainbow Revelation

You look down below, the soft glow of torches moving towards the barn. You want to stay, but you know you couldn’t help much. Mainly because of this fucking leg. You grip your knee, trying to soothe the pressure that stems within. Please say they packed you a bottle of the good stuff. You reach into your bag, fumbling about with the contents. Its surprisingly full. You didn’t remember having this much stuff. You feel the shape of a bottle and pull it out. Damn, no alcohol this trip… just some painkillers. Thank fucking Twilight for that. ”Pills here.”

”Excuse me?”

“Just a joke, sorry.” She flies a bit faster leaving Sweet Apple Acres in the… gust? You swallow three pills rather than the recommended two cause you’re a badass like that. You rest your head back, the sun setting beneath the clouds. The clouds radiate a vibrant red-orange, and you don’t mean to sound like a woman or anything. But it’s one beautiful sight.

A pig-fuckingly large cloud lies ahead of you. Wait, that’s no cloud, that’s a god damn mansion. “You live *there*?”

”Not up to standard?”

“Not up to- Are you kidding? That place is fucking awesome.”

”Rainbow Dash only deserves the best after all.” You fly in low, getting closer to the entrance way. She parks the chariot and jumps off taking a deep breath. ”Home sweet home.” Sweet is the correct term. You pull out your bag and fling it onto the cloud. Rainbow catches it in an instant. ”Don’t want to lose your stuff on the first day do you?” You forgot that she didn’t enchant your bag as well.

“Thanks. I had already forgotten.” You’ll have to leave the bag in the chariot. At least you’ll get some cardio. You swivel your hips off and touch your feet down on the cushioned floor. It seems to have worked after all. You sigh in relief, planting your crutch down as well. “OH SHI-“ Your crutch dives straight through the cloud, pulling you as well.

You fall on your chest, not moving any further. All you can see is white. So she enchanted everything but your crutch, that’s nice. ”You alright there?”

You sit up, brushing bits of cloud off of you. “I’m fine, thanks for asking.” Now how are you going to walk about without the aid of your crutch?

A lightbulb goes off in your head. You don’t have to lose the crutch. You grab hold of your sleeve, looking to the floor. “Forgive me Rarity for I have sinned.” Tearing off the sleeve, you wrap it around the crutch’s tip. Great success! You heave yourself up, leaning on the one side.

”Quick thinking there.”

“Just who do you think I am?”

”Good job regardless, shall we?” You follow her up the pathway, the painkillers starting to kick in. It starts as a subtle itch before filling your body with an even warmth. It feels good. You pass through the pillars, whether they’re made of stone or cloud is unknown, but you can take a guess. Dash closes the door behind you, striding towards the middle. ”So, which part do you want to look at first?”

“I think, you, should show me, sleep time.”

She struggles to contain her laughter, “You sure you’re okay?”

“Perfect, as, bumble bee.” Okay, maybe taking three was a bit much.

She catches you as you start to stumble over. ”Let’s go sleepy head, the bedroom’s upstairs.” You can’t remember much of the trip, but you find yourself in a nice plush bed. ”You sleep tight now, I’ve still got some errands to run.”

“Alright mommy.” You pull the blankets around you and snooze off.

Rainbow giggles before you pass out. ”What a weird guy.”

~~~

You wake up refreshed and ready to go. It’s already morning by the looks of it. How longer were you out? “Rainbow Dash?” She must be off with her- You called her mommy. Jesus Christ Anon, how fucked up were you?

You take your time to explore the house. The first thing you find the kitchen. It’s nice and all, and you have no idea how any of the machinery is supposed to work. Seriously, how the hell does a cloud oven even turn on?

Whatever. You find yourself some fruit in her cloud fridge and take a tangerine from the looks of it. You keep moving around finding her bathroom, which is surprisingly plain. She did strike you as a tomboy though, so that could explain it. She’s got a living room as well, which isn’t more than a couple couches and a window. Maybe this place isn’t as cool as you thought. You’ve got the backyard as well, which in her case is the fucking sky. Still though, it’s got a reasonably large porch and terrace. The view is outstanding as well. There’s only one room left, and you’re not particularly thrilled. Overall the house is pretty norm- “My god…”

You step near the edge, digging your hand in the water. Or should you say rainbow. “This girl has an indoor swimming pool/waterfall filled with liquid rainbow? How come I never heard of her!?” Maybe you could, it’s not like she’ll be back anytime soon. Just one small-

”Like what you see?”

“Shit you scared me.”

She laughs, pulling you away. ”Don’t fall dead on me now.”

~~~

She cooks you some food, the technical know-how still beyond you. ”Any plans for the day?” Not really. It’s not even like there’s a lot to do here. Though you still want to try that Rainbow Pool.

“None that come to mind. You?”

”Nah, just gonna try out a few new tricks. Wanna watch?”

Don’t be a douche now, or do, just say yes. “Why not?” She perks up a little practically pulling you away.

~~~

You rest on the terrace, plopping down on a pillow cloud. Cloud cloud cloud cloud. ”So which do you want, the Rainbow Twist or the Sky Screamer?”

“Which one do you think I’ll prefer?”

”No, I meant which one do you want to watch first.” So she’s going to be like that.

You recline backwards, eyes on the sky. “Surprise me.” She dashes, heh, dash… into the sky. All you have to do is lie back and enjoy. She pulls off some pretty interesting stuff, but nothing mind-boggling. You enjoyed it when she turned an ordinary cloud into a tornado. Otherwise it’s basically just her doing loops and flying fast. You never got into NASCAR.

Before long she tires herself out, the sun setting on the horizon. ”That was a workout alright. With you here I can try out all my new tricks.”

“Can’t wait.”

”Is that sarcasm I just heard?”

“Me? Nah it must’ve been someone else.”

She just laughs to herself. ”Well come on in, we better head to bed.”

“Mind if I stay out here for a bit longer?”

”Not at all.”

You move to stand up, your right leg practically igniting. “Shit!”

”Did you take your medicine today?”

”Not yet. Dammit!”

She bursts off, returning and popping the pills in your mouth. ”You really shouldn’t forget about these.”

“Phew… I won’t, thanks.”

She leaves you on the terrace. You rest you leg on the makeshift sofa and let your other dangle off. You do a few curls to test your limits. The painkillers act fast, and you work on your other leg. It’s still plenty painful, but progress isn’t easy. When you’re done with your little exercise you wrap yourself up with some of dat cloud. Feels all soft and shit man. You could probably just fall right asleep on-

~~~

Rainbow’s house is the perfect place to just relax. Nice view, comfortable ‘furniture’, just an overall peaceful place to live. Not that you can do that though. You spend your time exercising as much as you can. You’ll never be able to achieve the form you had before, but damn if you aren’t going to try. Upper body was easy, the lower half was the problem. That piece of shrapnel in your knee is a constant reminder of just how weak you had become, and you’re going to be better for that reminder.

You clench your teeth, sweat dripping down your neck. “37…38… 39…” Your leg falls limp to the floor. 40 isn’t a bad number for now. You pop a few pills and move back inside.

”Working hard I see.”

You merely nod and get some food from the kitchen. Sitting down on the couch you exhale deeply. This shit is exhausting. She opens her mouth to speak, but you silence her with your own. “Yes I do have plans today.” You can see the disappointment in her eyes. She tries to talk again. “No, I won’t change them.”

”Well fine then.”

“Sorry RD, but I don’t have time to just watch you.”

”You have to do something besides working out; it’s not good for you.”

“Do you see the irony here?”

”For buck sakes do something else with your time.”

“I would, but *someone* won’t let me use their pool.”

”If I let one person use it, everyone will want to use it.”

“I’m not going to debate this. I need to work on my strength.”

”At least let me give you another option.”

“I told you-“

”Not the tricks. Just… wait here.” She flies out of the room, leaving a trail of cloud particles behind. You just sigh and lean back. Relaxing is what you need right now. ”Heads up!” You look just in time to catch a bulky blur coming at your face. The object collides with your head and falls to the floor. You grip the side of your head, already feeling the bump begin to grow. ”You got it?”

“You could say that,” you chuckle, still in a fair amount of pain.

She strides back in, quizzically looking over you. ”Why’d you drop it?”

“Why’d you throw it?”

She plops down next to you. ”I thought you’d catch it. You need to work on those reflexes.” She presses on the bump with her hoof.

“Aah please don’t do that.”

”Just let me get some ice.”

“You have ice up here?”

”We will in a minute.” She leaves you once again to nurse your bump. A brush of air hits you, likely form whatever the hell she’s doing. You pick up the book and put it in your lap. The room gets chillier, walls beginning to solidify further, an icy coating layering them. You look at the book and can’t help but smile. It’s been a while since you read this. ”I hope you like the cold,” Rainbow says as she comes back in, “It’s the only way to get some ice.” She sits next to you. ”What’s with the grin?”

“What? Oh, it’s nothing.” You flip open the book and begin to read. “An, acquaintance, of mine read this to me some time ago.”

”I mean, it’s an alright book and all.”

“The thought was what mattered, even if the prick did almost kill me.”

”So it’s *that* type of acquaintance.”

“At least he tried to make amends for his actions. I can’t remember when the last time anyone did that back home.”

”You mean Los Pegasus?”

You lightly chuckle, closing the book. “Not exactly.”

”Want to talk about it?”

“Another time, maybe. Another time.”

~~~

You make it a habit to read more of the Daring Do books again. You didn’t pay attention the first couple of books, and now you get a chance to read them over again. Rainbow Dash left that night to visit her friends. It was Nightmare Night, and she had some folks to scare. Apparently it’s something like Halloween, but not really. They sacrifice their candy to Nightmare Moon so she doesn’t eat them. Sounds like something straight from some children’s show. But whatever, it gives you a bit more alone time.

A series of knocks echoes through the house. You get up from your seat and grab onto your crutch. Limping your way to the door, you look through a eye-sized hole in the door. It seems to be just a couple of kids. They probably want some candy. Dash told you this might happen, so she gave you a little bowl. You were hoping to have that to yourself, but you know what Pinkie says. You gotta share... You miss that mare.

Bowl in hand, you open the door, earning a few shocked gasps from the kids. ”What are you supposed to be?”

“I’m a uhh- medical patient.”

”Why are you so tall?”

“I ate my vegetables as a kid. What’s it to ya?” They just stand there. You really don’t have time for this. “You want candy or not?” They nod, mouths agape. Fucking kids… You deposit some candy in each of their bags. “Have a good night kids. Stay safe.”

”We will…” You shut the door, popping a pill into your mouth. Seems like the pain is always going to be there. A welcome friend in your life. You can hear the voices of the children as they fly off.

”Did you see that bro? He was all big and stuff! He was weird.” Your heart sinks a little at that last part. Stay strong and keep your chin up. They’re just kids.

You find your way back to the sofa, starting off your exercises. “17, 18, 19, 20…” Another burst of knocks hits you. More kids… how fun. The knocks get louder and louder as you get closer. “I’m coming, I’m coming. Hold your horses.”

You open the door, an older but still young Pegasus there. ”Wow you really are weird looking.”

“Didn’t know I was a mirror.” You shut the door, not even bothering to give him any candy. Little bastard didn’t deserve any. Now back to your excercises. “45, 46… 47.” Someone knocks heavily on the door. “Come on!” You power-limp over to the door, swinging it open.

”Whoa, you’re ugly.” It’s a teenage looking Pegasus, probably about 17 if you had to guess.

“Aren’t you a bit old for Nightmare Night?”

”Those kids weren’t kidding.” You slam the door in his face and get back to the couch. You breathe in and out, venting your anger.

Keep it calm and laugh it off, just continue your workout. “52, 53, 54.”

”Look at his arms, he’s all limby.”

”Shut up, he’ll hear you.” You look over to the terrace, the kids staring at your from outside.

You stand up and move over to the entrance. “Go away.” You pull the clouds shut, but that doesn’t stop them.

”What’s the matter? You a filly or something?”

“Just go away…”

”Filly freak, filly freak, stay indoors. Don’t go out with a face like yours.” The others join in, “Filly freak, filly freak, stay indoors. Don’t go out with a face like yours.” You laugh it off in hopes that they stop. But they don’t. They just circle the house chanting that stupid sentence. All you wanted was some rest. That’s all you wanted. You try to finish your exercises, losing count amidst their yelling. You try to read more Daring Do, unable to finish a sentence. Sleep escapes you; all you can hear anymore are their voices. You grip your ears painfully, trying to drown out the voices. Nothing works…

You want to… No Anon. Stop it. Hurt them, squeeze the life out of their necks, clip their wings. It would be so good… They’ll pay for angering Anon, you’ll make them. You sigh, unclenching your fist.

Not anymore. You walk outside, the kids chanting. “I think it’d be best for you kids to go home now.”

”We aren’t afraid of you. You can’t even fly.”

“Oh, but I can reach you still.”

”You- You’re bluffing.” You shrug your shoulders and laugh.

“I guess you’ll just have to find out the hard way.”

You close your eyes and flex your muscles, growling louder and louder. ”BUCK ME!”

They fly away in a hurry, allowing you to relax. ”What a couple of fillies.” Rainbow lands next to you. ”You ok?”

“You know the answer to that.” You go back inside and move to the bedroom. Sitting on the bed, you catch a glimpse of Dash’s costume. “What the hell are you wearing?”

”Like it? I personally thought last years costume was better, but I can’t complain.” You’d seen that thing before, but it suited her better.

“I’m surprised you didn’t just go as yourself.”

”It was close, but this one won out.”

She slips out off her costume, placing the purple hat on your head. ”It suits you.” She chuckles and flops on the bed. You pick up her costume, the sight taking you back to that night. Your body weak and vulnerable… The pounding on your chest. You grip your chest for good measure, just in case.

“So who is the Mysterious Mare Do Well?”

”You going to try and hunt her down?”

“Her?”

She facehoofs. ”You seriously thought she was a guy? It’s in her name, Mare.” Well, that makes sense, but if he’s a she…

“Are there more than one?”

”Well you get the occasional copy cat, but no one stands up to the original.” You’re surprised she didn’t tack on, ‘except for me.’ She doesn’t even sound envious.

“Why’s that?”

“Most do what she did for fame, but that wasn’t her purpose. She wanted to teach a valuable lesson to a pony.

“She sounds like something alright.”

“She was. She taught me to do what’s right, not for glory or to be adored by, but just for doing what needs to be done. She was a true hero.”

“Sounds a lot like someone I know.”

”Or knew.” Indeed.

~~~

You gasp for air as you breach the surface. ”Enjoying yourself?”

“More than you’d know.” You backstroke to the edge, getting a feel for things.

”Make sure to stay on the surface. Wouldn’t want you plummeting to your death now.”

“Pretty sure that’s bad.” She lays out the towel on the floor. You climb aboard and dry yourself off. “I haven’t swum in years. Feels good man.” You slip on your shoes and walk to the door, picking up your crutch on the way out.

”Seems you’ve made some progress.” You can feel the pain coming back and start using the crutch again.

“If only I could get this piece of shit out of my leg.” You join her out on the terrace. “In a few more days I’ll be as good as new, except for the leg.”

”And what then? Plan on sticking around?”

You recall the day Twilight took you out of that hospital. Three rules to follow. You only cared about the last one now. “I have a promise to keep.”

”You can’t just up and leave like that. What’ll everypony think?”

“Twilight made me promise that when I got better that I’d leave.”

”But what about Fluttershy, Rarity, Pinkie Pie and the others?”

“A promise is a promise. I won’t go back on my word. They held up their end of the bargain, and so will I.”

”After all we did for you-“

“Don’t think that I want to go anymore. I’ve grown a bit attached to your little town, thugs and all.”

”Then…”

“I leave because I must. I’m doing what’s best for everyone.”

She bows her head in silence. You two just sit there for a spell. She breaks the silence first. ”Before you leave, do you think I can show you something?”

“Shoot?”

”One last trick, I… haven’t shown it to you yet.” You nod. ”Just… nevermind.” She takes off into the sky. You almost felt… sadness.

She ascends to an impossible height, before looking back down at you. You only need to nod for her to begin. She zooms full speed towards the ground. The very air slices in two at her ferocity. You didn’t know going fast was a trick. When you think she’s going to stop or turn she doesn’t. She just keeps going. A sharp whistle builds up almost making you cringe. You can see the air pushing out from in front of her. You sense something that you haven’t felt in a long time. About six months past.

The air cracks before her as she reaches her peak. Your eyes go wide as you realize what’s happening. Her speed increases ten fold, a rainbow bursting through the air. That sound… That effect… It was her.

It was her all along. She touches down on the other side of the terrace. She doesn’t look at you. ”Now you know…” She walks through the door, “I don’t expect you to forgive me, but for what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”

She’s gone. It… it can’t be her. It just can’t. The more you try and disprove it, the more you have to accept it. It all fits. The Daring Do books, the costume, that ‘trick.’ It was always her.

You stand up, moving back into the house. Rainbow is waiting for you. ”I guess my time is up then.”

“That’s one way of putting it.”

”I won’t fight back.”

“I know.”

You walk towards her, her eyes shut. ”Just make it quick will you?”

“I don’t think so.” You throw down your crutch. “I waited a long time for this moment.”

”I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” You wrap your arms around her and hold. You place your head on her neck. Too long you wanted to do this. No more. “Thank you.”

”W-wha?” You stifle a few tears, holding her tight.

“I said thank you.”

”I- don’t understand.”

“Silly Rainbow Dash.”

”I thought you hated me.”

Hate her? “You gave me what no one else could. A second chance, a chance to change. How could I hate you?”

”I hurt you. I caused your suffering.”

“And you caused my revival.” You release her, a steady flow of tears escaping her. “How about some dinner?”

She wipes the tears off her face. ”You going to help you lazy bastard?”

You chuckle and lead her off towards the kitchen. “If it’ll make your food taste better.”

She punches you in the arm, joining you in a laugh. ”I’m glad you’re here Anon.”

“And I’m glad that you’re glad.”

~~~

That night over dinner you had a nice conversation. She told you more about herself and her friends. She told you about how they stopped eternal night when they defeated Nightmare Moon. You were astounded with their defeat of the chaos god Discord. Their conflict with the changelings and how Queen Chrysalis was defeated. They solved problems big and small with only each other. They didn’t need a strong arm or powerful weapon. All they needed was their friendship to get them through, and those elements, but that’s beside the point. They were what you should have been.

“I came here looking for adventure y’know. I wanted that monumental battle with a Balrog atop the peak of Zirakzigil. I could die easy then.”

”This must’ve been quite disappointing then.”

“At the start it was to be sure, but now that I think about it, my dream was never going to come true.”

”You have another chance now. You can get back out there.”

“No, not even if I wanted to. Besides, it seems all the good adventures have been taken.”

”Now Anon, we didn’t-“

“You did what you had to do, not for fame or glory, but to teach the world a lesson. You and your friends taught me that lesson. You are the only adventurers Equestria needs. I can die easy knowing that.”

She sets down her plate, wiping it off on the cloud. ”So where are you going to go?”

“I don’t know. I might drift from town to town. Might see what’s up in the griffon kingdoms. So much I could do.”

”You sure you don’t want to stay?”

“Want. Can’t.” She nods in understanding. “Los Pegasus… I think I’ll settle down there. I heard they still had work there.”

”Will you ever come back?”

You ponder these words, finding it best not to answer, “Let’s head to bed Dash.”

~~~

You set your stuff in the chariot, the pegasi impatient. ”Twilight pulled some strings with the princess, so you should be safe on the way there.”

“Be sure to thank her for me.”

”Last chance Anon.” You give her a brief hug and board the chariot. ”Do you want me to tell them anything?”

You think long and hard about it, Pinkie hitting you the hardest. “Tell them to let go.”

”It was nice knowing you Anon.”

“Goodbye Rainbow Dash.”

And goodbye Ponyville…

Chapter 9: Adventure's End

You pick up your cane and put on your fake smile. “It was a pleasure being here.”

”Aww please stay. Just for a little longer.”

Your smile turns a little more real. “If it’s alright with Ms. Case.”

”The children want you stay after all.”

You were hoping to get an early start at the tavern. But it seems fate had another thing planned. “Alright, one more story.”

The children screech happily as you sit back down. You’d been working the local orphanage for the past year or two. Has it really been so long since you left? Anyways, they mainly just need someone to help repair this and that. On occasion though, you actually get to see the children. Since you’re the only human in the known world, they were bound to have questions. Their caretaker was a kind mare, and she took good care of the kids. She could only entertain them for so long however, and that’s where you came in.

You sit down on the couch next to Ms. Case, the children sprawled out on the floor. “Which story do you want to hear today?” As an adventurer, you had a novel’s worth of stories at your disposal. The kids were in awe at your gusto. They even made their own stories with you, which they’d tell as if it were true. Those were some good times, but that stuff’s long behind you now.

”How about the one with the dragon!”

“Which one?”

”There were more than one!?” Oh lord these kids are easy to entertain.

A filly pulls at your pant sleeve. ”Umm, excuse me.”

”HEY! We want him to tell us a story.”

You hush her fellows, recognizing the little girl. She was always the shy one of the bunch, and never talked to you. Until now that is. “Yes dear?”

”Could you tell us about your latest adventure?” she asks in the sweetest little voice.

Your last adventure… Why not? You pull the little filly onto your lap and stroke her mane. “My last adventure. That certainly is a story.”

”Yeah! Tell us that one!”

Ms. Case looks at you worriedly. ”You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“I know,” you nod, “but they asked.” Where to begin? The start is always a good place. “My journey began here, in this very city. I just came from over the Torgal Sea, determined to find my next adventure…”

You make sure to avoid the R-Rated content, as not to corrupt these poor souls. They cheered for you at the start, and then you spoke of the avalanche. Their faces turned pale when you spoke of how you were broken and betrayed. You didn’t use real names, as not to tarnish your enemies’ reputations. They needed something after all, and then you spoke of the mane 6. The mood turned up indeed at that point. Fluttershy showed you kindness, Twilight empathy, Rarity understanding, Applejack trust, and Pinkie Pie… Your face turns red, eyes heavy with moisture.

The little filly turns her head to you. ”Is something wrong?”

You put on a fake smile again and choke down the tears. “I think I should stop there for today.”

”But whyyyy?” the children whine.

”Now children, Anon’s had a long day. He’ll be back tomorrow right?”

“Yeah…” You hoist yourself up on your cane, Ms. Case escorting you to the door. She shuts the door behind her, helping you down the steps. Los Pegasus sure is busy at this time of day.

”Are you sure you’re alright? You looked like you were about to break down in there.”

“It was a personal story, but one that shouldn’t be hidden.”

”I understand.” No she doesn’t, but you don’t that against her. ”Let me make it up to you. I know this nice restaurant that just opened up…”

A date? She played it cool, but you could see what it was. “I’d love to, but I can’t, sorry.”

”Oh… That’s alright. Did you have plans?”

“Yeah. You could say that. Same time tomorrow ma’am.”

”Same time…”

You escape into the crowd, though it’s hard to blend in when you tower over the inhabitants. You pull the cloak over your head and head through the back-alleys. Nopony traverses these sections in fear of being mugged. It’s part of the reason you feel so safe in them. You find the backdoor to the tavern ajar, the owner loading in a cart of ale. ”Just in time Anon, you mind giving me a hand?” He always puts emphasis on the word ‘hand,’ his idea of a joke maybe.

“No problem sir.” You hoist a barrel over your shoulder, carrying it inside. It’s not easy to hold onto with one hand, but you manage. You load four more barrels into the storage room.

”You sure are ‘handy’ to have around.”

“Yeah yeah, laugh it up.”

”Don’t get all sensitive. I’m only joking.”

“I know… it just gets hard to laugh at sometimes.”

”Trouble at work?”

“It’s all in the past.” Truer words have never been said.

”Thanks for the help anyways. Drinks are on the house tonight.”

“I’ll make you regret that.”

~~~

You find your usual seat in the back corner of the main room. The waitress brings over a fresh mug and biscuit tray. Weird custom, but you don’t complain. You rest your head on the table after a gulp of ale. This isn’t what you had in mind by settling down but it’ll have to do. Tonight you shall live like a king. With free booze and bread. What’s not to like?

At least the alcohol numbs most of your body. It makes those painkillers last a bit longer when you’re not popping them like vitamins. ”Another mug sweetheart?”

“I think I’m- Wait…”

You recognize that voice. ”Or do you want something a little special?” The mare sits next to you, you’d recognize that pearly skin and pink hair anywhere. ”What’s the matter? Cat got your tongue?”

“What are you doing here?”

”Just here for the yearly convention.”

“Well, this has been quite the surprise Ms. Redheart.”

”Care to buy a lady a drink?”

“It depends, are you going to poison mine?”

She reaches into her bag, “Sorry, it seems I left it at home. Rats.”

“In that case, I might as well.”

You flag down the waitress who brings a cup for your old friend. ”Thanks for that.”

“Your welcome.” You drink your ale happily, the little slice of your past invigorating you. “So what’s new back at Ponyville?”

”Not much really. Things have been really quiet since you left.”

That takes a load off your mind. You were worried something had happened in your absence. “Well, that’s good to hear.”

”Not everyone would agree.”

“And what exactly do you mean by that?”

”It’s not important.”

Not important? You slam your fist on the table. “It’s important to me!”

”Alright alright, just calm down.” She’s right, deep breathes, in and out. Once you think you’ve calmed down enough you ask again. ”The town has been kinda dead lately, and before you ask, it’s not literally dead. Just quiet.”

“That doesn’t sound like the Ponyville I remember.”

”Because it isn’t. Things have changed Anon, and not for the better.”

“How’re my friends? Are they alright?”

“Yeah they’re fine, except for Pinkie anyhow.” Shit… shit shit shit.

“What happened?”

”She’s really the reason things have gotten so bad. All she wanted to do was make people smile…” You left her there… ”Now all she wants to is stay in her house. She hasn’t left for almost a year now.” You did this to her. You have to go back there. You made a promise to leave… But that doesn’t mean you wouldn’t go back. ”Anon?”

“I’m going back to Ponyville.”

She laughs openly, “That’s a good one. You almost sounded serious.” You get up from your chair, leaving your mug on the table.

“Because I am.”

She follows you as you head up the stairs. ”You can’t be serious. You know what’ll happen if you go back.”

“And what makes you think I care?” You find your room and start to pack. “I spent the last two years hiding in this hole trying to forget about her. I won’t let her suffer that fate as well.” She didn’t let go. You fled from her. It’s time to go back.

”I can’t let you get yourself killed Anon.”

“Since when did you care? If I recall you wanted me dead.”

”I cared since I heard more about you. I know what you’ve been doing here.” She’s talking about the orphanage isn’t she?

“It’s just a job, nothing more.”

She blocks you as you try to move. ”I think you wanted to make up for what you did. There’s plenty of better paying work in this city.”

“Maybe this was the only job I could get, but it doesn’t matter I’ll be gone by morning.” You manage your way past her, pushing downstairs.

~~~

”You know what this is? It’s expensive as hay I’ll tell you that.” Ughh… Adventure ponies. Blind from what’s really important. ”I could buy up every inn in Los Pegasus with this vial, and I got two more like it.” Wait, you recognize that band… ”Want to take another guess old man?”

You take the last step to the ground floor, your cane echoing through the room. “I reckon that’s called Dragon’s Breath, and there’s only one way to get that.”

”And that’s to kill a- a… Anon?”

“Did you miss me?”

”You… You died! We…”

“Assumption is the mother of all fuck-ups.” You step towards them, the ponies backing away in fear. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

”And how do I know that?”

“Because you’re no use to me dead.” It was a stroke of luck finding these guys. You turn to the owner behind the bar. “This should cover my room. It was nice staying here.”

”Sad to see you go. You’re quite handy.”

“Indeed I am,” you chuckle. You look back to the frozen band of ponies. “You took what’s mine and claimed it as your own. You owe me a favor I reckon.”

”If you want it back-“

“Keep it. I don’t need it anymore, but what I do need is a ride.”

”Anon please listen to me,” Nurse Redheart whispers in your ear.

“I appreciate the thought, but it’s time for me to go.”

”Think of the children, you can’t just leave them.” You can’t leave them on their own, but you can keep them in good hands.

”Give me one of those vials.” The squire doesn’t hesitate and tosses it to you. You reach into your pack and pull out your journal. You give both to Nurse Redheart. “Give these to Ms. Case, it’ll do her good.”

”There’s no convincing you is there?”

“I’m afraid not. See you back home.” You walk out the door, the streets blackened and desolate.

”So where do you want us to take you?” You walk towards the wagon, your old entourage in tow.

“Back to Ponyville.”

~~~

You step out of the carriage, a puff of dust lifting into the air. This place really is depressing. ”Are we free to go?”

You turn back and smile. “Give me your word, all of you.”

”Anything sir.”

“I want you to pick up my quest. Go from town to town doing what needs to be done, not for glory, but for what’s right.” The squire salutes, turning the wagon around. Ponyville… how quaint.

You walk slowly down the road and into the town. There’s no rush to greet you, no screams of terror. Only silence. You pass through the market, stopping to buy an apple on the way. Big Mac’s at the stall. He looks at you with his unchanging expression. ”Two bits.” You pay your dues, savoring the rich flavor. No one made apple like the Apple family. ”Good to have you back.”

“Good to be back.”

You keep on down the road, recalling the scenery. Twilight’s tree house still stands, though the fall leaves have turned a vibrant orange. You see the boutique, paying it a ceremonial nod. But you’re looking for a more specific piece of architecture, where the walls themselves are sugar and sweet. Sugarcube Corner… It’s just like you remembered. The ponies stop and stare, a small entourage of ponies closing in on you, and smack dab in the front is your old friend. “Always a pleasure Filthy Rich.”

”How nice of you to join us again. It saves me the trouble of hunting you down.”

“I’m not here to cause any trouble.”

”Then you’re more foolish then I thought.”

You stroke your cane, showing it off. “I may not have a sword or bow to intimidate you with, but this comes off as a close second.” You hold it out, twirling it in your hand. “Verawood, top-of-the-line material right here. I had a guy who owed me a favor. Polished prim and proper. Great handiwork really.” You step towards the older stallion. “I could knock a human out in a single blow, and you’re not as tough as I ever was.” You withdraw your cane, planting it back down on the ground. “But that would be a waste of such workmanship.”

You stand inches away from the stallion, whispering in his ear. “You won’t forgive me for what I did, but do yourself a favor and forget.”

”We both know that as long as you’re here, I will never stop.”

True words. “Then I won’t waste anymore of your time.”

You walk past him, leaving him behind you. ”You were hurt before, you can be hurt again.

“And my friends were there for me before.” He doesn’t attempt to follow you. He knows better. His mind game failed, and he’s out of moves. For now anyways… But now, you need to find your special somepony.

~~~

You walk into Sugarcube Corner, the smell of frosting and cinnamon butter absent. The Cakes see you walk in, unflinching. “Upstairs?”

They nod, “She doesn’t take visitors.”

“You going to stop me?”

”We’re just letting you know she may not be what you expected.”

You thank them and head for the stairs. “Pinkie is always full of surprises.”

~~~

You place your foot atop the stairs and climb. ‘Pinkie Pie?’ You heave upwards, advancing.

‘Yes?’

You reach the top of the stairs. ‘How do you do it? Stay happy all the time that is.’ You find her room and open the door, the hinges creaking.

‘I think of something I like and don’t let go.’ She’s pale, paler than you’ve ever seen her, sitting on the edge of the bed. How could you do this to her?

You step inside, closing the door behind you. ‘And if you do?’

The floor creaks as you walk to her. ‘Then you let it go and hope it comes back.’

You sit next to her, wrapping your arm around her. ‘Just like that?’

She presses into you, her tears trailing down your arm. ‘Just like that.’

It’s good to be home.

You manage to grab the sugar from the top shelf. Not an easy feat with the cane. It sure would be nice to start over. ”You gonna pour it in silly?” You smile and deposit a scoop into the mixing bowl, Pinkie covered in cookie dough and frosting. But why would you ever want to start over when you already have Pinkie?

You open the oven and slide the fresh rack of dough inside. Ah, you press a finger to your temple and lean against the counter. Damn this is one hell of a migraine. “Hey Pinkie can you hand me my pills?”

”Okie dokie lo-“ She freezes as she holds out the bottle. “Pinkie you okay?”

”Anon,” her tail twitches, then her eye, leg… Her Pinkie Senses have been going haywire lately, but nothing like this. You hold onto Pinkie as her body begins to spasm.

“It’s alright Pinkie I’m here. I’m- Another spike of pain pierces your mind. You fall to the floor holding onto your cane. You grab hold of your bottle, Pinkie settling down. She looks to you, and you to her. A searing white light surrounds you, the world as you know it fading away. Your senses dim to the point of nonexistence. A feeling of weightlessness takes you, ended by a thud as you hit the cold ground.

~~~

Your eyes open to the treetops. Where- How’d you get here? Where’s Sugarcube Corner? You work your way to your feet, your pills at your feet. A shot fires from deeper within this forest. You’d experimented with guns in the past but they always blew up in your face, this one… it works. Nopony has mastered such creation yet. There’s only one other species you know of that has such technology. You know how people can be, how you used to be. If they’re here, then Equestria’s in danger. You pick up your pills and head towards the sound. You can kick ass one last time.

Author's Note

The very end, the part preceded by the three space gap, leads to another story.

Chapter 1: Premature Adventuration

“Take a deep breath here lads, this is the place. I can feel it in my bones.” With a snap of your fingers one of the colts brings up your flask. “Do hurry up next time boy, I don’t pay you for nothing.”

”Sorry sir, tired sir.”

“Did I ask for excuses? Get back to work!” You swat the colt away with a laugh. Oh the spoils of a hero. “Fetch me a map!” Your entourage scrambles about to fulfill your order. Do you have to do everything yourself around here?

These disgusting ponies were the best bits could buy? Ha! You’ve seen wolves smarter than them. Kicking the p0nies out of your way is a plus though. That rush of superiority and power never gets old. You can’t help but chuckle as they trip amongst themselves. Pathetic creatures the lot of them. You toss them aside and rummage through your chest. Pulling out your map you unravel it as you move towards the front.

This land is not unlike the one from which you helm. Trees are tall, grass is green. Same old same old. Hmm, there’s a town not far from here. If you move now you can- A p0ny bumps into your front. You draw your sword and press it on her throat. She freezes on the ground, tears forming in her eyes. ”I’m sorry Mr. Anon, I didn’t see you coming my way-“

“You will speak when spoken to.” She shuts up like a good p0ny. You whistle, your guide coming to attention.

”What can I do for you sir?”

“Ponyville. How long until we reach it?”

”Two hours sir.”

“Good, get the wagons moving.”

”Yes sir.”

You look back over the mare, trailing down from her neck to the length of her flank, “Get up.” She does so, your blade following her. All this travel has left you nice and pent-up, in need of release.

You sheathe your sword and grab her by the mane. She’s a bit on the pudgy side, but she’ll do. You’ve had worse after all. She doesn’t put up any resistance, knowing her efforts to be futile. Besides, who’d struggle against the almighty Anon? You toss her into your wagon, looking outside one last time. “I’m to be left alone until we arrive, understood?!”

”Yes sir,” they reply. You tighten the curtains as your wagon pulls away, on to Ponyville.

The wagon begins to slow as you wipe the sweat from your brow, panting heavily and cleaning yourself off. Bitch had more fight in her than you thought she did. Good, you like ‘em with a little kick. ”Sir, we’re here!”

“Excellent! The usual will do fine!”

”Yes sir.”

You toss your towel at the soiled mare. “Clean yourself off and have my meal ready in the next hour.” You flick her a bit from your pouch and exit the wagon. Ponyville, how quaint.

Your squire is already in the middle of the introductions when you get out. ”…across the raging seas and over perilous mountains. Dragons fear him, Hydras flee from him, death itself is phased by him.” Even after a dozen times this doesn’t get old. ”I give you the one, the only, ANON!” The crowd’s cheers are music to your ears. Every second feeds that colossal ego of yours, and you’re damned proud of it. You step out with your hands raised, bringing in another roar of cheers. It’s good to be the king.

“HEY PONIES! How are we doing today!?” Delicious chants. They’re ever so savory. “How was that for an intro? Give a hand for my good friend over there!” You give him a wink and a bit, turning back to the p0nies. “As you can guess, Anon’s the name, questing’s the game!” You grin and wink at a group of mares, moving over to them. “Whatever the task, no matter the risk I can do it. Especially for these gorgeous mares out here.” You kiss the end of one of their hooves, the mare fainting in an instant. “Whatever your woe, whoever the foe, I’ll make them go!”

“So what do ya say? What can Anon do for you?”

”Leave and save us all our time.”

The crowd goes silent, a small smile forming on your face. “Now now, what have we here?” You look about the crowd trying to find the perpetrator. “Was that doubt that I heard? Come out, so I can put your thoughts to rest.” The crowd parts as an orange earth p0ny comes trotting from the back of the crowd. She’s wearing a ten gallon hat, with her blonde mane tied back in a pony tail.

”Well, here I am.” You walk towards her, the p0ny tensing up.

“I’m not going to hurt you sweetie. What’s your name?”

”Name’s Applejack, and I don’t take kindly to you filling up these nice ponies heads with your rabble.” Her accent is so cute it hurts. She’s not bad looking either, that toned flank…

“Well I don’t know what you’re talking about dear AJ, you mind if I call you that?”

She looks at the rest of the p0nies, a look of disgust on her face. ”I thought y’all learned by now after that deal with Trixie.”

“T-trixie?” You hold onto your sides, barely containing yourself.

”We ain’t falling for another act like that again ya hear?”

Containment breach. You erupt in laughter, smacking your knee as you giggle. “The great and powerful Trixie? HA! You fell for her little routine?” Oh boy this is all too much for you right now. “She couldn’t fight off a parasprite let alone an Ursa, and you… Man this is rich…”

”You think you’re better? Prove it.” You wipe away the tears and tell her that’s what you’ve been trying to do. ”Excuse me?”

“Since you don’t seem to get it, let me elaborate.” You stick your finger in your mouth and whistle. A member of your band brings over your satchel. You draw out a vial, its inside shining green and red. “You know what this is?” She shakes her head, allowing you to explain. “This here,” you say raising the vial into the air, “is what we call Dragon’s Breath.” The crowd ooohs and aaaws at the sight. “There’s only one way to obtain this, and that is to-“

”Kill a dragon.”You smile as a purple unicorn joins Applejack.

“Precisely.”

“You’re an educated young lady aren’t you Miss…”

”Twilight Sparkle.” Put a pair of glasses on her and you’d have to get a slice.

“Charmed to meet you. Now,” you address the crowd, “This here bottle is worth enough to buy this town and then some. It’s quite a rarity around here.” You reach into your sack, pulling out three more just like it. The crowd gasps in response. Works everytime. “I have four of these in total. One for each of the dragons I’ve slain.”

Applejack steps up and retorts, “How the hay do we know you even killed them dragons? You could’ve just gotten someone else to get you those.”

“A fair question cutie pie.” She blushes at the name, “But I’m not a fake, and I can prove it.” You drop the vial, its contents shattering on the ground and evaporating in an instant. Twilight’s face joins the rest as shock hits them. “I just destroyed five lifetimes worth of bits, and I plan to get it back.” You draw your sword, pointing to the mountains in the east. “Tomorrow I shall storm the dragon’s nest and slay the creature, earning back my fourth vial.”

”You’re mad!” You laugh at Twilight’s outburst, the crowd cheering for you once more.

“No my little ponies, I’m Anon.”

”Please listen to me, he’s not-“ Their voices are drowned out by the excessive cheering around them.

”Anon! Anon! Anon! Anon!” You swish your fingers with the beat.

“NOW!” you shout silencing the crowd, “Who does a guy have to fuck to get a drink around here?” You’re shuffled through the streets of Ponyville and into the nearest bar in sight, The Broken Record. As you sit at the bar you’re bombarded with questions.

”How many creatures have you slain? Where did you come from? Can you sign my cutie mark?” Oh, the woes of a hero.

“One a time please,” you drink your beer, the watered down garbage putting a bad taste in your mouth. “Where’s the real stuff? Anon deserves only the best.” The others hastily agree, bringing up a keg and pouring you a fresh mug. You gulp it down. It’s not the best liquor you’ve had, but it’ll have to do.

”Anon! Anon!” You point at the filly in the back, carrying a notepad and quill. ”Sweetie Belle with the Foal Free Press. How do you plan on taking out the dragon?” The paparazzi huh? Didn’t take long for them to come around. Well, might as well give them a show.

“The same way I take down any other prey, devastating precision.” You whistle sharply, your pack mule of a p0ny bringing your effects. You retrieve your bow and arrow, facing your back to the crowd. “Give me a target.” You spot a hoof moving towards you in the corner of your eye. “Don’t give it to me, throw it.” You wait, listening to the sound of something flying through the air. You spin around in a flash and draw your bow, aiming down the sight. Aim, release, dramatic pause, impact.

A citrusy mist sprays over the crowd as your arrow imbeds an apple into the wall. “That is what you call precision.” The crowd cheers again and marvels at your magnificence. You see Sweetie taking notes as her companion keeps shooting the camera. You move towards her, whispering in her ear. “If you’re editor wants to use that story, then she’ll have to okay it with me.”

”But- she doesn’t-“

“Tell her to come to my wagon when the moon is high in the sky, we can discuss it then.” She nods, pulling the Pegasus away and out of the bar. “Now, how about a toast? To me!”

”To Anon!” they cheer. This is going to be a good adventure.

As time goes on the crowd slowly quiets down. They don’t seem to handle their alcohol very well. You’re chatting with some of the mares, wrapping your arms around two of them at a booth in the corner. “Lopping off the heads was the easy part, the stench is what almost got me. Damn thing needed to wash up once in a while.” They give you the typical ‘you’re so brave’ and ‘how exciting’ replies that you’ve grown accustom to. You place your hand under the table, grabbing the back of the p0ny’s head and pulling forward. She chokes and gags, but you know she loves it. They always do.

You sigh in relief, releasing her. “I needed that.” She comes out from under the table, licking her lips seductively. These mares are just dying to get a little piece of Anon in ‘em, and you’re more than happy to oblige. You look to the Pegasus on your right, nodding as she lowers her head to your lap. Warmth engulfs you as she gets to work without a second thought. You pull the unicorns lips to yours and work your hand between her thighs, giving her a taste of heaven. Living the dream. Living the dream…

*acheem* “Mr. Anon?”

You roll your eyes and push the mare’s lips away. “What is it? I’m in the middle of something right now.”

”You asked me to inform you when the editor had arrived, and she has.”

“Well that changes things then.” You finish off the unicorn and pull the Pegasus off of you. They gasp for breath, barely conscious from your efforts. You chuckle at the sight and leave a pile of bits on the table like you would some street whore. They should get some standards at least.

Your squire fixes you up, tidying up your cape and chaps while realigning your equipment. The two of you move back to your caravan. “So, give me the details.”

”She’s a bit… young sir. I’d advise skipping this one.”

“Young? Like my pappy always said: If there’s grass on the field, play ball.”

”But sir, all p0nies are-“

He catches your drift, sighing dejectedly. “Don’t look so down now, I’m sure you and that colt I hired would get along splendidly.”

”Why you little-“ He moves to strike you, only to have your sword poised at the bottom of his throat.

“Tsk tsk tsk, don’t try me. My patience only extends so far.” He backs down, his spirit defeated. “When you get to be as famous as me- You know what? I don’t want to get your hopes up.” You openly laugh at him as he moves away from you, leaving you to enter your wagon. Tearing open the curtains reveals two p0nies, the mare who you got acquainted with on the way her, and a filly. The grass is so very green this time of year.

“Leave us.” The mare looks on with horror, unmoving from her seat. “Unless you’d like to join us, I suggest you part.” She mutters something under her breath as she leaves, giving you two some time alone.

”So, you are the heroic Anon I’ve heard about, pleasure.”

“I’m charmed, and who might you be princess?”

”Diamond Tiara, editor of the Foal Free Press.”

“Of course, the pleasure is all mine.”

”I’m interested in your story Anon, it would be sure to make our newspaper a big hit. We’ve hit some… obstacles if you will.”

“In order to make an omelet, you have to crack a few eggs.”

”Excuse me?”

Fucking vegetarian ponies… “Forget about it, but you see… Nothing comes without a price, as I’m sure you know.”

”If it’s compensation you’re worried about, then don’t be. I can supply a plentiful-“

“I don’t want your money, I make it rain money. I want something else, far more natural.”

She shifts uneasily in her seat, “And what would that be?”

You sit next to her, rubbing your hand on her back. “I want some of Diamond Tiara.”

”Tha- That’s impossible. I will not allow it.”

“My terms are nonnegotiable, if that’s the way you want to roll I’m sure there are plenty of other papers who’d accept.”

”Wait!” she calls out as you’re about to open the curtains, “I’ll- I’ll do it.” Bluff succeeded. You sit next to Diamond Tiara pushing her on her back. ”Just, be gentle.”

Never part of the deal. You loosen the straps on your trousers, pressing up against her. You smile and force a gag into her mouth, eyeing your prey like a vulture. Oh boy… It’s going to be a wild night.

You awake with a sigh and place your hands behind your head. You look down to the weight on your chest, that filly from last night still atop you. Damn, she was good. Fillies always were the best. She flinches when you touch her flank, still sore from the last night’s probing. It still confounds you how stupid these p0nies are. Giving away one’s body for a fucking news story? That’s ridiculous. But hey! You aren’t complaining. You lie there for a spell. Getting in one last quickie while she’s asleep.

You towel yourself off, leaving the groggy filly on the corner, belly full of love juice. Another whistle brings your assistant along. He reels back as the smell of sex lies heavy on the air. “Suit me up.”

”Sir?” He’s still taken aback by your exploits.

“I said, ‘suit me up.’ Now get to it.”

He shakes his head, “Yes sir, sorry sir.” How they ever managed to form a stable society is beyond you. Still, they have their uses.

He clasps your armor to your chest, using his magic to fasten the straps. If only you could do magic as well. Damn shame really. At least you’d make use of it instead of squandering such power. “Do hurry up, places to be and so forth.”

”Sir, in all due respect, go buck yourself.”

Quite the mouth on this one. “You want to run that by me again?” You hold the hilt of your sword, issuing a challenge.

His horn glows as his glare intensifies, “Sorry sir, go fuck yourself.” You smile as his wish is brought to ruin. ”Why- Why aren’t you moving?”

You grab his horn, squeezing harder every second. “Don’t think your magic tricks can work on me mule. I’m not of this world.” He shudders beneath your assault, falling to his knees.

”Sorry sir…”

“Damn right you are,” you say releasing him, “now finish me up.” He fits the last few pieces of your armor, finishing his work. “Oh, I almost forgot…” You pound your fist into his ribs, sending him gasping for air. “Next time I won’t be so gentle.”

You step outside again, the bright sun shining down upon you. “Lead? We ready to move out? LEAD!?” That fucker left, you’ll have to hunt him down after you’re done here. You reach the caravan’s front, finding the two mares from yesterday along with a yellow Pegasus. “Well, morning to you both Applejack and Twilight Sparkle. What do I owe this privilege?”

Twilight’s the first to speak, “We thought you could use a guide on your trip, so we asked Fluttershy here to show you the way.” Fluttershy… You already feel a stirring in your loins.

“Seeing as how my LEAD decided to skedaddle, I accept your offer.” Fluttershy bows her head, hiding her face behind her pink mane. You’re going to enjoy breaking her in.

”I can um, show you the way. I mean, if that’s alright with you.” You’re really going to enjoy it.

Applejack gives you a harsh look, “You keep her safe ya hear?”

“Crystal AJ. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a dragon to slay.” You wrap your hand around Fluttershy as your entourage sets forth towards the mountain. “I think we’re going to get around just fine my dear.” Oh so fine.

The trip will accordingly take a day’s length if Fluttershy is to be believed. You make first through the Everfree forest, where many of your comrades feared to enter. You’d heard the stories, but they didn’t frighten you. Why? Because you’re mother fucking Anon that’s why. You inspire some courage in you fellows as they follow your lead. Once inside, you are proven to be correct once again. Its menacing exterior was the most it could conjure up. Perhaps its residents had heard of your coming and made sure to piss off. Tragic, you were looking forward to some monster hunting.

Reaching the moutain’s base you begin your ascent. The telltale signs of a dragon are numerous. The scent, the scenery, the obvious roar. You’re positively giddy. As you make up the path, a strange feeling begins to come over you. Something isn’t sitting right. It’s not the beer, you’ve drank worse and came out alright. “Fluttershy, how much longer?”

”Umm, just another half hour and we should be there.” Half an hour… For some reason you don’t feel like you have that long. And you soon find out why. A massive explosion echoes across the sky along with a shimmering rainbow. The earth begins to quake, rocking the wagons and forcing ponies on their flanks. You grip the ground with your feet, standing fast against the quake. Is this the best it could do? *crack*

You look upwards, an avalanche of rock stumbling down towards you. “GET OUT OF THE WAY!” The ponies scramble out of the path successfully. You look back, Fluttershy frozen in place. “Fluttershy get out of there!” But she’s in shock, unable to move.

You sprint back to her, some of the smaller debris beginning to hit. You grasp her waist and pull her over your shoulder, freeing her from her stupor. The group is so far away, and the end is so close. This… isn’t how you thought things were going to end. But if there’s one last thing you can do, it’s keep a promise. You squat down and leap up, throwing Fluttershy will all your strength. She lands safely with the others. You look to the coming onslaught, a boulder smashing into you. The two of you roll off the cliff, headed the long way down. Two words come to mind before you lose consciousness. “Fucking Fluttershy…”

Your eyes burst open, and with them, the torturous agony that had been lying in wait.
“FUUUUUUUUUUU-“ All the pain… God damn, why the pain!? You try to move your arms, finding them inert. Okay, okay, how about the legs? FUCK! DAMMIT! They’re no good either… It hurts to move, it hurts to breathe. It hurts just to live. You clench your teeth through the pain. “HELP!” you scream, unable to move.

You scream again, hearing an array of voices getting closer. Thank god for that. They’re not so useless after all. You cough up another bout of blood. “HELP!” The load atop you begins to lessen as the p0nies dig you out. It takes them a while, but you can wait. You have all the time in the world. They take your arms, pulling you out from rocky tomb. You grunt painfully as they feel like they’re getting torn apart. You look at them, the group circling you.

They kneel next to you, slowly removing your armor. “W-what…” It hurts to speak. They take your equipment apart, stowing them in the wagon. But they don’t stop there, proceeding to strip you down. You can’t do anything to stop them, your broken bones see to that. Some of your companions come to your side again, their smiles disheartening. ”What’s wrong Anon? Can’t fight back?” Oh no they aren’t, not now…

He kicks you in your bare ribs, shattering them further. ”You’re right; it does feel good to beat down on someone weaker than you.” He steps on your wrist, the cracks and snaps only making him press harder.

The second one approaches, “Also, go fuck yourself.” He whistles, your sack brought to him. He kicks you in the shoulder, the pain overwhelming you. A piercing pain hits your knee, tears forming in your eyes. You look down to the wooden shaft, its feathery tip swaying in the breeze.

They both leave, the mare getting her turn. ”You’re a monster.” She hits you right in the balls, a deep groan escaping your lips. Why there? ”I hope the crows peck out your eyes.”

She bucks you right in the jaw, dislocating the bone. You don’t feel pain anymore, just dread. She turns and leaves you, they all leave you. Rain drizzles down upon your broken body. Weak, desperate, and alone. You vision grows hazy, a yellow blob approaching you as the world go dark.

”Wake up Anon. Please wake up.” A series of beeps catches your ear as you begin to stir. All the white… Get a fucking paintbrush… Your eyes finally open, a row of p0nies in your room. ”Now Anon, remain calm. Everything’s going to be alright.”

What do they mean by that? You look down as your vision begins to strengthen, your casts soaked in red. Your screams are muffled…