Chapters “Alright Trixie, you can do this.”
Trixie stood at the entrance to the Canterlot gentlecolt’s club. She was doing her best to talk herself into believing that what she was about to do would be easy.
“It’s no different from performing on any other stage. You have this. You are magnificent and ponies will come from miles around for the privilege of seeing your flank in action. Why, it’s practically a public service on your part!”
With that Trixie raised her snout arrogantly and flung the doors to the club open with her telekinesis. She strode in and surveyed the place lazily, taking in the smoky parlor filled with tables, the bar and the lit stages. Her cheeks burned slightly as she saw the mares dancing on stage, but she forced that down and resumed her stage face. She sauntered up to the bar, flank swaying dangerously as she did.
“The Great and Powerful Trixie wishes to speak to the owner of this establishment!” she declared grandly, throwing her forehooves up dramatically as she did. A white unicorn with a pair of purple shades burst out laughing at the nearest barstool. Trixie looked down her nose to give the mare a haughty glare, then dismissed her and turned her attention back to the bartender.
“Manager’s in back,” the mare behind the counter said in a bored tone of voice. “Door with the star on it. Can’t miss it.”
Trixie nodded, and suddenly there was a brilliant flash. When the bartender finished blinking the blue mare was gone. She looked at the chortling unicorn.
“Five bits she quits within a day.”
“You’re on.”
-
“Welcome to the Plothole. Name’s Pimp Slap. What can I do for you?”
Pimp Slap rubbed at his ears, waiting for the ringing to go away as he stared at the crazy blue mare who had just flung his door open and walked in accompanied by the sound of a horn blowing a victorious tune. She threw her fine silvery mane back disdainfully, then clapped her forehooves onto the front of his desk and leaned towards him.
“The Great and Powerful Trixie has chosen to grace your establishment with her incandescently lovely form! Fortunate are you, lowly flesh peddler, that a mare of Trixie’s caliber has chosen to lower herself to enter into—“
“Twenty bits a day to work the stage, and you have to work the front room when called.”
“Your employ,” Trixie continued obliviously. “Indeed, were it not for a momentary monetary fluidity issue Trixie would never—what was that?”
“You pay twenty bits a day to work the stage,” Pimp Slap repeated calmly. “Oh, and twenty percent of your tips go to me.”
“Trixie is astonished that anypony would be so bold as to offer such an arrangement. Trixie demands at least—“
“Them’s the terms; take it or leave it.”
Trixie sputtered. “Trixie has drawn awed crowds such as would not even fit into this tiny rathole!” she shouted. “Trixie cannot believe that you would speak to such an obviously marketable mare in such a cavalier—”
“Brute Force, escort her out.”
Trixie felt an extremely large hoof on her shoulder and looked back to see an enormous earth pony stallion standing behind her. She sputtered some more.
“Trixie has—stop that!” she shouted as the bouncer started to pull her out of the small office. “Trixie accepts! Just let me go!”
Pimp Slap gestured for the security colt to let her go.
“Alright then, Miss Trixie.”
He pulled out a sheaf of papers.
“Just sign right here.”
-
Trixie strode on stage amid a cloud of smoke as twin geysers of sparks shot up from either side. As the smoke cleared she reared up on her hind legs and through her forehooves up dramatically.
“Patrons of the Plothole! Feast your eyes on beauty the likes of which you have never before beheld in all your years! Today you shall witness a performance of such erotic perfection that you will be captivated and…”
Trixie’s voice trailed off as she realized that everypony nearby was either rubbing their eyes, coughing or glaring at her. Belatedly it occurred to her that perhaps a crowded indoor space was not the best place for her usual entrance display. She tried to recover, sweeping her cape in what she intended to be an enticing gesture, but she found her hooves slipping on the unfamiliar stage and stumbled awkwardly forward. She slammed horn first into the pole in the center of the stage with an audible thud. Laughter, harsh and mocking, ran through the room. Suddenly the music came to a stop.
Trixie’s eyes burned. She hadn’t felt this embarrassed since her first botched magic show as a filly. Buck this. She didn’t need the money that badly. What were a few days without food compared to this sort of humiliation? Granted it had been more than a few days…
Just as Trixie had almost talked herself into walking off stage and forgetting the entire thing a voice rang out over the sound system.
“Ladies and gentlecolts, let’s give a warm welcome to the Great and Powerful Triiiiixie!”
A new beat began to boom from the stereo speakers. Suddenly members of the audience started to stamp their hooves in rhythm to the music. No…it was more like stomp, stomp clap, stomp, stomp clap. Then lyrics started in time to the music.
“Jump up! Make a sound, yeah!”
“Shake your flank all around!”
“Get up, get down, cus it’s going to make a sound!”
“Start now, make a change, wave it all around!”
“Jump up, make a sound, yeah! Cus it’s going to come around!”
“If you shake that plot up and down the town!”
Trixie’s confidence level returned to its usual ego bloated heights. She reared up on her hind legs and began moving in tune with the beat, turning to give the crowd a view of her magnificent flank as she gyrated about with wild abandon. She whipped the cape off of her back to the wild approval of the onlookers, trailing it sinuously across her body, showing just enough to drive the crowd wild. Coins began to rain down onto the stage around her. Trixie threw back her head and laughed gleefully. She was never so happy as when she was the center of attention.
Across the room white unicorn DJ watched the show, counting down the minutes. When the song was finished she reached for the microphone and shouted, “Alright folks, I think she’s ready for a break. Next up is Fire Flank!”
Trixie took a bow as she draped her cape back across her sweaty body. The coins on the stage began to glow with azure light. They circled her for a moment, then bits and performer both vanished in a plume of smoke. This time, nopony complained.
Trixie rushed back to the performers area behind the stage, smoke trailing behind her. She telekinetically placed the coins on the table, eager to start counting them out. Twenty, thirty, forty…yes, she had easily made back twice her fee for the day. She clapped her hooves gleefully, then gave a quick look around to make sure nopony had noticed her lapse. She straightened her face.
“Well, it is good to see that the patrons here have at least some taste and that Trixie has not been wasting her time,” she said with a sniff. One of the nearby performers, a red and yellow pegasus mare with the lithe body of an practiced dancer, gave her a sour look.”
“Don’t let it go to your head,” she said, rolling her eyes as she brushed past Trixie on her way to the stage.
“Oh please,” Trixie said archly. “Do you really think you can do better than Trixie?”
The pegasus turned to give Trixie what was pretty much the textbook definition of the term “evil eye.” “Lady,” she said, “don’t push it. I know you think you’re hot stuff what with this being your first time and all, but I’ve been doing this for two years. You got lucky Scratch gave you a helping hoof.”
“As if there was ever any doubt Trixie would prevail,” Trixie said, wagging her eyebrows mockingly.
The pegasus started to say something hot and unpleasant, but the DJ’s amplified voice cut over the din of the bar outside. “Fire Flank, come on out! I need your love to keep away the cold!” Fire Flank gave Trixie one last hateful look, then turned and headed out on stage.
Trixie sniffed and levitated her purse out. She was about to start filling it with the bits from the stage when she heard somepony clearing their throat from across the room. She looked up. It was Pimp Slap.
“Forgetting something?”
Trixie sighed. “Very well.”
Trixie levitated a number of bits over to the manager, who counted them out with practiced ease. He looked back at her. “And the house’s cut of the tips.”
Trixie sighed again and tossed more coins his way. Pimp Slap counted them and tapped his hoof impatiently.
“That’s twenty percent of the gross. I did you a favor letting you dance on credit. Hand over the rest.”
“Of all the nerve,” Trixie groused as she reluctantly turned over the last few bits. “You should be grateful to have a stage mare of Trixie’s caliber working for you!”
“Lady,” the grey unicorn said impatiently, “Can the attitude. I got plenty of girls working her who can do everything you just did and better, and without the mouthing off and the fireworks.”
Trixie harrumphed and raised her nose haughtily but said nothing further. Pimp Slap sighed.
“Your next dance is in thirty minutes. Feel free to powder your nose.” With that, he turned and left.
-
“You did good up there.”
It was evening and the place was packed. Trixie had made her way to the bar to get some refreshments and once again found herself next to the annoying white unicorn with the shades. She sniffed.
“Was there ever any doubt?”
The unicorn laughed and knocked her drink back. “Damn you’ve got a mouth on you,” she said. “I like you. Name’s Vinyl Scratch. I’m the DJ around here.” She held out a hoof. Trixie stared at it disdainfully.
“Trixie does not expect to be here very long.”
The other unicorn laughed again. “Then we’d better get to know each other now. Bartender, two more drinks, one for Miss Great and Powerful here.”
The pony behind the bar complied. Two shot glasses full of amber liquid slid down the bar a minute later. Both unicorns caught theirs neatly, Trixie with her magic, Vinyl with her hoof. Trixie sipped her drink. Vinyl did the same, watching her wordlessly from behind her shaded glasses. Finally Trixie spoke.
“So you’re a DJ. I suppose Trixie should thank you for your timely ballad earlier.”
The white unicorn grinned approvingly. “See, I knew you could do it! You’re welcome, Miss Great and Powerful.”
Trixie made a face but didn’t reply. Her eyes drifted across the bar to one of the stages. The pegasus from the dressing room was there, doing very lewd things with a pole that stretched from the stage to the ceiling. Vinyl followed her gaze.
“Be careful around her,” Vinyl said in a suddenly serious tone of voice. “She thinks she’s a princess because she rakes in more money than the next three dancers combined, and hooboy can she hold a grudge.”
Trixie sniffed. “The feelings of the local queen bee are not Trixie’s concern. Trixie will work here long enough to replenish her finances and then she will be on her way.”
Vinyl sniggered. “If I had a bit for every time I’ve heard that.”
“Trixie is not your typical mare,” Trixie said arrogantly, eyeing Fire Flank’s performance appreciatively. “Trixie was made for stardom, and it is only a temporary reversal of fortune that has brought her to this establishment.”
Vinyl raised her shades to give Trixie an amused gimlet look with her red eyes. “Oh yeah, haven’t heard that one before.”
Trixie returned the albino’s look haughtily. “And how, pray tell, did you end up working here? Didn’t you have bigger plans?”
Vinyl lowered her shades and leaned back. “Welll I don’t tell my parents where exactly I’m working, but a club’s a club, you know? It’s a good paycheck, and the tips are good.”
Trixie looked startled. “You dance too?”
Vinyl shook her head. “Practice is to tip the DJ.” He gave her another look. Trixie sighed and levitated out two bits. She hesitated, then produced a third.
“Trixie will pay for the drinks and consider it settled.”
Vinyl clanged her shot glass against Trixie’s. “Bottoms up!”
Trixie continued to watch the stage. Fire Flank’s performance seemed to be reaching a finale. “Shouldn’t you be going to announce the next girl?”
“Aw crap,” Vinyl said. “Gotta go bye!”
Trixie took another sip from her drink. She was smiling despite herself. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all.
"No Trixie will not stick her muzzle under your tail!" Trixie shouted indignantly
Trixie was very good at expressing indignation, the various denizens of the Plot Hole were learning. The fact that she actually had what a normal pony would consider grounds for indignation this time didn't seem to make a noticeable difference. Trixie was just that good.
The perverted ape creature lifted the aforementioned tail and whipped it forward to wrap the prehensile member around one of Trixie's forelegs. Trixie tried to pull back but the ape creature laughed wildly and jerked her into his grubby palms with terrifying strength. Trixie could smell the reek of alcohol on his breath as he dragged her towards his face for a slobbery kiss.
Trixie lowered her head and shanked the filthy monkey in the chin. Her horn wasn't long enough to do any serious harm, but a sharp alicorn to the face was still enough to distract him from his rapey impulses. Especially once Trixie conjured a jolt of electricity to drive the point home. Normally that spell barely tickled its target when Trixie cast it but normally it wasn't coming from subdural range into the target's face. The ape thing fell back on the floor and proceeded to thrash wildly to the tune of simian shrieks of pain.
Trixie should have backed away then, and most mares working at the Plothole would have because they had good sense and cared more about their safety and well-being than their pride, but nopony had ever accused Trixie of having good judgment. She charged up her horn again and sent another shock of electricity arcing into the chimp. This time she aimed for its ugly erect red penis. There was a sizzling sound and the ape creature's howls increased in pitch and volume.
Trixie was getting ready for another shot when she realized that somepony was standing next to her. She looked over to see Brute Force looming menacingly at the rowdy patron. Brute Force was very good at looming. Almost as good as Trixie was at expressing indignation, though his looming seemed to be more effective at conveying the idea that Trixie was not interested in having sex with any particular individual and probably could not be persuaded to reevaluate this position.
Trixie threw her head back. "There you are. Trixie wishes this rubbish disposed of."
Brute Force gave the ape a glare and gestured towards the door with his head. The ape creature flipped itself over and scampered away on all fours with a strange, limping gait. Trixie watched it go from down her nose before flicking her mane again and giving Brute Force a cross look.
"Trixie wished for the ape creature to be taught a lesson," she sniffed.
Brute Force grunted. "Ain't paid to be no teacher."
"Hmpff," Trixie said disdainfully. "Trixie's next routine starts soon. She must go prepare herself."
Brute Force grunted eloquently. "You're already wearing your costume."
"Silly stallion," Trixie sneered. "Trixie will be debuting her new socks tonight."
With that she sauntered off, flank upthrust and swaying. Brute Force paid her absolutely no attention. Trixie pretended that she didn't care and wasn't looking for it.
†
"Thank you, thank you, Trixie appreciates your adoration!" Trixie said as she rose from her bow to stand straight on her hind hooves. She waved at the crowd as she did, giving them all one last look at Trixie's underside and swaying flank before summoning her cape back and donning it with a flourish.
"Trixie must go now, but should her less erotically adept co-workers fail to satisfy you know that Trixie is available for private performances on request!"
Blue smoke rose around Trixie in a cloud and hid her from sight. "Bring cash!" she cried in a voice that echoed grandly through the building. And then Trixie was gone.
Pimp Slap was waiting for her in the dressing room. He wasn't happy and made no effort to hide it.
"Trixie, you're pissing off the other mares," he said without preamble.
Trixie looked confused. "What other mares?"
Pimp Slap face hoofed. "The other mares who work the stage here you crazy broad!"
"Oh." Trixie thought about that for a moment before shrugging. "Trixie does not care."
The sound of Pimp Slap's teeth grinding was audible even over the music playing on stage.
"I can see that," he said through gritted teeth. "That's the problem."
Trixie sniffed. "Trixie is above such things."
"Trixie isn't going to be above anything if Pimp Slap kicks her out of his club for making his life more difficult than it has to be," Pimp Slap said flatly.
Trixie froze. "What?"
"You heard me."
"But Trixie is irreplaceable!" Trixie protested. "Nopony is as beautiful as Trixie or better able to put on an erotic show!"
Pimp Slap forced his jaw to unclench. "Listen Trix," he said. "Can I call you Trix?"
He didn't wait for a reply.
"I think we both know that you've seen and done a whole lot more than most mares your age."
"Than most mares of any age," Trixie sniffed, but Pimp Slap could tell she was listening.
"Right, right," he continued. "And it stands to reason that you're more used to having the spotlight to yourself and doing your own thing than most of your fellow performers here."
"Trixie thinks that should go without saying, for nopony is more deserving of attention and acclaim than the Great and Powerful Trixie!" she said, throwing her hooves up as she did. Pimp Slap patiently waited for her to finish.
"Right!" Pimp Slap agreed. He forced himself to keep the irritation out of his voice. "But most ponies are set in their ways and don't react well to having their worldview threatened."
"That is one of many ways in which Trixie is superior to all other ponies," Trixie agreed. Trixie was clearly warming to the conversation.
"So out of consideration for all us poor normal ponies who ain't as good as Trixie could you please tone it down a notch so that the other girls won't feel so bad?"
Trixie pondered that. Pimp Slap struggled to keep the smile fixed on his face. Finally Trixie said, "Trixie will consider it. Now if you will excuse Trixie, Trixie's next solo performance begins soon. Trixie's time has been reserved for somepony's twenty first birthday party!"
With that there was a sudden plume of smoke and Trixie was gone. Pimp Slap coughed and turned back to his office. "Could this get any worse?" he asked.
As Pimp Slap was walking back through the lounge he heard a scratchy, tomboy voice from a group of ponies entering the Plothole together.
"Geez Twi, I still can't believe you'd never been to a strip club."
