Rarity! You got some 'splanin' to do!

by Baal

Rating: mature
Tags: Fluttershy, Sex, Cheerilee, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Sweetie Belle, Comedy, Rarity
Length: 2823

Everyone has to learn about the birds and the bees eventually, much to Rarity's dismay. How is she supposed to explain it all to Sweetie when she barely has any experience on the subject herself?

Everyone has to learn about the birds and the bees eventually, much to Rarity's dismay. How is she supposed to explain it all to Sweetie when she barely has any experience on the subject herself?

The story takes place about a week after the end of Twilight's Sleep Casting. You don't have to read that to understand what's going on in this story, but I would suggest it. I don't know if there are going to be any actual sex scenes yet, but just to be safe I'm setting the story as mature.

IF YOU ARE UNDER THE AGE OF 18 PLEASE, PLEASE DO NOT READ FICTION LABELED MATURE. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO SAY THIS BUT I AM.

Published 2013-12-04 14:40:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-05 05:30:16 UTC

I'll tell you when you're older

Once upon a time there was a small village in the land of Equestria. In this village there was a fancy-schmancy boutique that resembled a carousel, and in this boutique lived an equally fancy-schmancy and carousel like lady named Rarity.

It was summer. The birds were singing, the children were playing, everyone was out having a wonderful time. Everyone except Rarity that is. Rather than basking in the sunshine, she was cramped up in her sewing room working on her fall line-up. She knew that the leaves wouldn't start changing for over a month, but the middle of summer was often pretty slow for her. After all, most people were taking of their outfits in the heat, rather than buying new ones.

With her magic, she pulled different fabrics of all kinds of fall colors off the shelf. She was designing a seasonal party dress, something to wear while attending a formal, high-class gathering of only the most elite society has to offer. Well that or a family holiday greeting card, whichever comes first.

Some orange here, some slightly-darker orange there, all it needed now were some rubies as a final touch.

"Oh drat, did I leave my gem box downstairs?" she said to herself.

Rarity groaned at the idea of having to walk all the way down stairs just to get some rubies. It was too hot for her to want to put out any extra energy, admittedly she never wanted to put out any extra energy for anything but especially not today.

She took off her red glasses and wiped her forehead with her handkerchief. She noticed a drop of sweat on it when she put her glasses back on.

"Blast this broken air conditioner! I'm simply drenched! Well I suppose it's time I took a break anyway."

Sitting back in her desk chair, the seamstress fanned herself with her hand. And as she sat and fanned herself she thought of many things, of shoes- and ships- and sealing wax- of cabbages- and kings. Mostly though, she tried to decide how she should arrange the rubies on the dress.

"I certainly hope I have enough, I don't have time today to go and get more," she thought to herself.

Just then, she heard the door to the boutique open, accompanied by a high pitched yell.

"Hey Rarity! I'm back! Are you here?!" cried the voice from downstairs.

The fashionista sighed and made her way downstairs to greet her sister Sweetie Belle, back from a morning of crusading.

"Sweetie, you know it's quite rude to shout like that."

"In my defense, I didn't know if you were here or not," her sister responded as she sat down on the couch.

"Well anyway how did your crusading go? Did you learn anything new?"

"We caught butterflies, delivered mail, and defeated King Sombra but still nothing," said Sweetie with a groan.

"Perk up dear, when you've found your talent, your cutie mark will come," said Rarity as she walked over to her box of gems.

"Yeah, I've heard that like a million times from everyone, but we've tried everything we can think of! We tried pie eating, shoe repair, hustling at pool, balloon deflating, dictionary hiding, kissing... We're all out of ideas!"

Rarity stopped picking out rubies for a moment and looked over at her sister in confusion.

"What do you mean kissing?"

"Oh, uh, a couple weeks ago Apple Bloom called us to the clubhouse because she had a new idea to try. She said we should try tasting lip balm off each others lips, but really we were just kissing each other. She didn't have to go to all that trouble though, I think I would have kissed her if she just asked," the little uni-girl said with a blush.

Rarity froze for a moment trying to process what she had just heard. It's not that she was against what her sister had done, rather she was so surprised that Sweetie had already gotten her first kiss. She was growing up before Rarity's eyes and she hadn't even noticed.

"That's... I see, well it's not really unusual for girl's your age to experiment. Just please don't take your experimenting too far, you should wait until you're older before you move any further," said the fashionista as she returned her focus to the gem box.

"Move any further with what?"

Again Rarity had to stop and think, she was creeping into dangerous territory and needed to be very delicate with how she worded her answer.

"Well... when a person... and another person... have very strong affections for each other... they will hug and kiss a lot, and, well... They start to act just like Miss Cheerilee and Big Macintosh did when you gave them that love potion! That's it!" she said hoping that would deter any more questions from her sister. Crisis averted.

"Oh okay, I think I get what you mean, but when do they start having sex?"

Rarity dropped the gems she was holding and turned her head to face Sweetie so fast she almost injured herself. Where in the world did she learn that word?

"O-Oh S-Sweetie that's-"

"And what is sex anyway? How do you do it?"

"Well t-that's something only big people do, a-and you don't need to know about it until your older!" said a very flustered Rarity.

"But how am I supposed to not do it if I don't know what it is? What if I do it by accident?! And what do do you mean it's only for big people? Diamond Tiara says she does it all the time but she won't tell us anything about it," responded the tiny version of Rarity, who was beginning to get very annoyed at her sisters antics.

Rarity was having trouble believing she couldn't come up with a proper response to an eleven-year-old's logic. She needed a diversion until she could come up with a good response.

"Isn't Diamond Tiara that bully you are always complaining about, and there is another girl she is always with right? What was her name?"

"Oh, that's Silver Spoon. She's like Diamond's lackey and...! Hey, don't try and change the subject!"

Drat. Rarity was out of options, she would have to use the secret final technique of her bloodline. Passed down from generation to generation, it was about time for Sweetie to learn it as well.

"Oh would you look at the time I'm going to be late for my massage I'll see you later have fun!" Rarity said quickly as she dashed out the door.

The secret technique... of running away.

She was a block and a half away from her boutique before she finally stopped to rest. She was out of breath and her boobs had been bouncing all over since she wasn't wearing a sports bra. Her loafers weren't really meant for running, but at least she was wearing shoes, her dainty feet wouldn't make it all the way to the spa barefoot.

On the bright side, she finally got to spend some time outside on such a nice day, even if it was just to go spend the afternoon indoors getting rubbed down. She actually didn't need to meet up with Fluttershy for another hour, but waiting in the air conditioned spa lobby for a while was looking pretty good right now.

Author's Note

Well it's finally up, the first chapter of my next fic. I'm not sure how long it's going to be, but definitely shorter than my first. Like I said in the description, I'm not sure if there are going to be any sex scenes yet, but I think there will. I just have to figure out how to integrate them. If you've got any feedback I'd love to hear it.

I'll tell you when I figure it out

"Oh my Rarity, I'm so sorry that happened to you," said Fluttershy.

"Ugh, I just don't know what to do!"

The two girls had finally gotten started with their massages, and although Rarity's shoulders were relaxed, her mind certainly wasn't. Both of them were topless and lying face-down on their massage tables, and, as usual, Rarity still wore her underwear. Her reasoning being that it just made her feel more comfortable despite the claims professionalism of the spa twins.

"N-Not to change the subject, but don't you think we should be worried about that Diamond Tiara girl?"

"Oh come now Fluttershy," said Rarity, "she's obviously lying for attention, or at least I certainly hope she is. Either way I'm much more concerned for Sweetie Belle. I don't want to ask someone else to talk to her, but I just don't know what to say."

The two girls fell quiet, both trying to come up with an answer to this predicament. Their masseuses, the twins Aloe and Lotus, had been listening in on the conversation since the beginning. As much as they tried to be professionals, after years of listening to clients gossip and chat it had become instinct to just eavesdrop on every conversation they heard. The best part was getting to crack jokes to each other the whole time using the intense psychic link that all twins have.

Of course, Aloe always had a little trouble coming up with things to tell her sister considering how focused she was on the massage. Aloe usually worked on Fluttershy, and considering that the animal lover was seven feet tall, there was a lot of back flesh to rub with only so much time.

"Um, well you could always tell her the truth straight out. Tell her about your own experiences or something," Fluttershy finally said.

"Well I would but... well you see I-" Rarity sighed, "I've never had sex before. I'm a virgin. The furthest I've ever gone with someone was holding hands, in fact the most intimate thing I've ever done are these massages, ooh a little harder Lotus dear."

Lotus stopped rubbing the fashionista's oiled, naked back for a moment and gave her sister a quick, wide-eyed look before returning to her work.

"W-Well I'm sorry to say that I don't really know much on the subject either, but maybe you could ask someone else for help. I'm sure Miss Cheerilee or Twilight could help you figure out something to tell her," said Fluttershy, blushing a bit.

"Fluttershy that's a great idea! Twilight must have stories to tell from her time with Applejack, and I'm sure Miss Cheerilee has had one or two lovers by now!"

"Oh, I just said them because Twilight probably has some books on the subject and Miss Cheerilee is Sweetie's teacher so..."

"R-Right books and all that... Well I'll just visit them later I suppose. Anyway to change the subject, how is that bobcat of yours doing?"

After the two girls finished their massages they showered off and went their separate ways, understandably they decided to skip the sauna for today. While the pink-haired giant made her way home, Rarity went to the schoolhouse to try to gain audience with the resident teacher.

After a bit of walking, the building was finally in sight and Rarity made her way up to the door. Just as she reached for the handle, the entrance burst open knocking the dress maker to the ground as four kids ran out yelling various things about summer school finally ending. In retrospect, Rarity may have been able to keep her balance if she wasn't so top-heavy.

"Twist come back! You forgot your... hair," said Miss Cheerilee.

With a huff the teacher turned to go back inside the schoolhouse, but stopped as she saw the young lady on the ground before her.

"Oh! Rarity are you alright?" she asked as she helped the fashionista to her feet.

"I'm fine, thank you. I'm just a little shaken up is all."

"That's good, I wouldn't want you getting hurt on school property. What brings you here anyway? Did Sweetie Belle forget something too?" asked Miss Cheerilee as she looked at the wig in her hand.

"No, but it is about Sweetie, could we sit down?"

The classroom was empty, save for the two young women. It was just past 2 o'clock and the afternoon sun was shining through the blinds onto the floor, as if to say "hey everyone I'm the sun and I think you're pretty neato." It actually said that to Princess Celestia once but she just wrote it off as a side effect from taking expired headache meds.

The ambiance was made up of the ticking of the wall clock and the low hum of the air conditioner, which the fashionista was very grateful to have. Cheerilee sat in her chair behind her desk and listened as Rarity told of her morning. Rarity was sitting in a desk she had pulled up, she was a bit big for it but "as a lady I shall endure" she told herself.

"Hmm, well it's not unusual for children to start to get curious around her age, but her group doesn't start sex ed for at least another two years I'm afraid," said the dark skinned teacher as her brain began to buzz briskly for another solution.

"That's alright, I'm not here to ask you to teach her, rather I want you to help me figure out a way to explain it to her in a way she could understand the subject and not be confused."

"Oh I'm sorry, is my teaching degree not qualification enough for you?" asked Cheerilee as she put a hand on her hip.

"T-That's not what I-"

"I'm joking, you're not the first person to come to me for this. Heck, Diamond Tiara's parents came in for help with her about two months ago. I actually overheard her mouthing off once about having lots of sex so I don't think they did a very good job. So what is it exactly you want to know?"

"Well... I'm not really sure how I should approach the subject, so how do you go about starting the lesson?" asked the purple-haired goddess of all things beautiful and in style.

"Well it usually goes something like this..." said Cheerilee as she stood up and walked over to the chalkboard. "*Ahem* Today class we're going to be talking about a very important subject: sex," she said as she looked towards the empty classroom. "Then I have to wait a minute for the kids to stop giggling and whispering 'she said sex' to each other."

Rarity was barely able to contain a laugh of her own at this statement, Cheerilee did say sex after all.

"Next I ask them what they think they know about the subject and everyone gets quiet for about thirty seconds before somebody finally asks if has to do with touching your private parts."

Rarity gave a nervous laugh, somehow this was making her feel very uncomfortable.

"Then after that is when I actually start the lesson. The first one is always about genitalia, what it's used for, the difference between men and women, and how they work."

"And how long does that usually take?"

"A full day of class, sometimes more if the kids have questions. The rest of the lessons cover things like sex itself, sexuality, gender identity, the importance of safe sex and consent, how to know when you're ready, et cetera. The whole lesson takes at least a week, sometimes two... um Rarity? Are you alright?"

Rarity was definitely not alright. She was starting to lose the feeling in her legs, and it wasn't because her chair was too small. A week, at least, was how long it took to give a proper explanation on this whole subject. How was Rarity supposed to make Sweetie Belle understand everything in one conversation when it took Cheerilee, a licensed professional, seven days minimum? She needed a faster solution and she wasn't going to find it here.

"I-I'm fine, and thank you for your time but I really must be going."

The purple-haired beauty stood up and made her way to the door.

"Oh well, are you sure? There's a lot we can still go over if you're lost."

"I'm sure, just... thank you."

Out the door and down the little path she went as quickly as her numb legs would carry her. The only other place she could go was the library so Twilight could try her hand at a better solution.

"If I don't get a faster solution, Sweetie Belle's sex life could be... DO-O-O-OMED" she said to herself in her most over-dramatic voice possible.

Author's Note

Sorry for the slow updates, I've work and school and stuff so you know. This story isn't dead, but don't expect another update for a while, it'll come when it comes. And again if you have any constructive criticism feel free to tell me.