Whiskey Lullabyby Smitty91ChaptersChapter 1Chapter 2Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5Chapter 6Chapter 7Chapter 8Chapter 9Chapter 10Chapter 11Chapter 12Chapter 1Whiskey Lullaby Rarity held her breath in silent awe as she stared down at the purple dragon lying face-down in his basket. Clutched in his hand was a note. She hesitated before lifting the note up to where it was eye-level with her and reading it. Her mouth dropped, but she otherwise did not move. She continued to read the note over and over again. The note fluttered down to the floor as the light blue aura surrounding it suddenly disappeared, and she continued to stare down at the purple dragon before her, mouth agape. She wasn't entirely sure of how to react to what she was seeing. Perhaps it was all just a dream. Yes, that was it; this was all just a horrid nightmare. Pretty soon she would awake in her bed, protected by her bed sheets. Opalescence would be at the foot of her bed, curled up in a little ball. Any moment now she would wake up; all she had to do was concentrate. She closed her eyes and pictured herself in her bed, safe and warm. She opened her eyes and realized that this was not a dream; this was real. Everything that she was seeing right now was real. With this realization, she had no other choice but to act. She should at least make sure that he was still alive. She gently nudged him, not getting any response. She nudged him a bit harder. Again, no response. Finally, she gently rolled him over to find that his eyes were closed. A sad look was on his face. Her worry overcame her. Maybe he was just sleeping. If he was, then his chest would have been rising and falling in time with his breathing, and it wasn't. Maybe Twilight would be able to deduce what was wrong with him. If he wasn't breathing, then that surely meant that he must be . . . She shook her head. No. She wasn't going to think that way. She would remain positive. He couldn't be dead. He just couldn't be! If he was, she didn't think she could live with herself. She wouldn't be able to live with the consequences. What would her friends think of her when they learned that she was, pretty much, the sole cause of his demise? They would abandon her, wouldn't they? They would stop speaking to her. If such was the case, she wouldn't blame them if they did. If she was in fact the cause behind this, then she was no better than a murderer. She paced back and forth across the library, her hoofbeats echoing off the wooden walls that made up the room that Twilight and Spike shared, her anxiety getting greater and greater the longer she waited. Where on Earth was Twilight?! She sighed and fell on her haunches, looking down at the floor as a single tear ran down the right side of her face. The lump in her throat bobbed up and down as she struggled to get a hold of her emotions. She couldn't let her dark thoughts get the best of her, at least not until she was certain that the worse had come to pass. Once Twilight finally arrived at the library, Rarity practically sprinted down the stairs to the main entrance, nearly running into Twilight in the process. She skidded to a halt in front of her. Automatically, Twilight suspected that something was wrong purely by the terrified look on Rarity's face. She cocked her head to the side. “Rarity, what is it?” She didn't even need to ask if something was wrong. It took a moment for Rarity to get her emotions in control before responding. She almost burst into tears, but kept the waterworks in check, at least long enough to tell Twilight what was going on. “It's Spike. Something's wrong with him.” Twilight sped past Rarity, knocking her back on her haunches while she raced up the stairs to her bedroom to find that Spike was lying on his back, eyes closed, a sad expression plastered on his face. She didn't move even when she heard Rarity come up the stairs. “Did you find him this way?” Rarity nodded her head. “Yes. I wasn't sure about what to do, so I waited for you to get here. What do you think, Twilight? What's wrong with him? Is he . . .” She hesitated to even say it, much less think it. “Dead?” Twilight swallowed hard at the very suggestion. She gave Rarity no response; she simply lowered her head towards Spike, pressing her ear against Spike's chest. It felt as if she was trying to swallow a pebble when she realized that his heart wasn't beating. She gulped and immediately began attempting to perform CPR, to no avail. Her breathing became heavier as she attempted CPR repeatedly with no results. The tears came as she finally broke down and began crying. She was comforted as Rarity nuzzled her cheek. *** Rarity stood silently, watching Spike's coffin being buried underneath the tree that she and her friends stood under, along with many friends and family that either knew Spike or came to show their condolences. She looked across from her where Applejack and Rainbow Dash stood. Both were glaring, luckily not at her, but at the tombstone that lay directly underneath the tree. Neither she or her friends had spoken much within the past few days. They hadn't even visited one another to see how the other was doing. They had all kept to themselves, each one of them dealing with the tragedy in their own way. It was almost funny in a way, as they usually attacked problems together as a team, a family. When it came right down to it, they were more than best friends: they were a family. Families were supposed to stick together and support each other, but it seemed as if Spike's death was slowly but surely making it so that they didn't want to be around each other. She was curious as to how the others were coping with the recent tragedy that had befallen them. Of all the things that they had been through during their friendship, this was probably the hardest thing that they had to go through. Of course they all knew that each of them would die eventually, one right after the other, but none of them expected one of their own would die so soon in such a swift manner. It was quite surreal, like a horrid nightmare that would never end. The burial came to a close and the group went their separate ways, as if none of them wanted to be there any more than the other did. Rarity watched as her friends went off in different directions, not saying a word to one another. She turned her head, choking while watching her friends quickly run. Rainbow Dash fired off like a rocket across the sky, leaving an iridescent streak behind her in her wake, her tail and mane flapping in the breeze. If anyone had been affected by this tragedy, it was definitely Twilight; she had been the one closest to Spike, after all. This struck Rarity as odd, as she suspected that she should have been the one most affected by Spike's death, seeing as how she was the first one to find him dead in the library. In a way, she was just as much affected by his suicide as Twilight. A bottle of whiskey lay near his basket, the cause of death being alcohol poisoning. He had literally drunk himself to death, the alcohol consumption being too much for his small body. Twilight had no reason to feel guilty regarding Spike's death, seeing as how he wasn't mad at her for any reason, Rarity realized as she sat at her kitchen table drinking some hot coffee. If anyone felt guilty, it was her. She could still recall the incident that, more than likely, led to Spike's depression and alcoholism. *** She had been busy working on one of her latest fashion designs. Ribbons were snipped and measurements were taken. Designs were drawn and redrawn repeatedly, most ending up crumpled in the trashcan when they didn't meet her satisfaction. She heard the door open and close, but merely dismissed it as Sweete Belle leaving to do some crazy experiment with her friends in order to earn her cutie marks. After a second or two, she went back to her work. It was only when she heard a small cough that she turned. She was taken aback to see Spike standing behind her. Looking down, she noticed an envelope in his hand. She swallowed. “I'm afraid this isn't the best time, Spike. I'm busy filling an order. Is this important?” She lifted a hoof to adjust her glasses. He swallowed and took a step back, looking somewhat hurt by her statement. He looked down at the envelope in his hand. He jumped when the envelope was suddenly lifted from his hand, cast in a light blue aura. He watched as she merely glanced at the envelope and dismissed it as yet another order before setting it aside. She once again addressed him, asking him if he wanted anything. He shook his head and replied softly, “No.” She nodded. “Very well. May I please go back to work, then?” He bit his lip. “Y-Yeah. S-S-S-Sure.” She smiled at him and gently patted him on the head before turning back to her mannequin and continuing to do her work. *** She sighed, recalling the memory. She took another sip of her coffee, but immediately spat it back into the mug upon realizing that the coffee had gone cold. She set the mug down and pushed it away from her, resting her hoofs on her cheeks as she leaned forward, looking straight ahead. She recalled the envelope that Spike had had with him when he'd entered her shop. She hadn't opened it. She hadn't even so much as glanced at it since the dragon's passing. How could she have been so stupid? Spike didn't deliver orders for her. Why had he come to the boutique that day anyway, if not to give her an order to fill? Maybe it was important. She went in the room where she did her business, stopping when she approached the table where the envelope lay, where it'd laid since the day Spike had come in her shop. Slowly, she used her magic to rip open the envelope. A rolled up piece of parchment fell onto the table. The envelope was flipped over to see her name written in cursive on the front. It was set aside on the table, the light blue aura replacing the envelope for the letter. The letter was levitated up so that it was at eye-level with her. She started to read . . . Dearest Rarity, Words cannot express my gratitude to you for teaching me about the meaning of love, about what it means to love someone unconditionally. Sure, Twilight and I are very close to each other. You know as well as I do that I'd do anything for her, but I hope that you know that I'd do anything for you as well. I love you and the rest of my friends dearly. But you . . . I love you most of all. I know you don't feel the same way I do about you, so I don't expect you to return my feelings for you. But, I do hope that you will grant me the common courtesy to at least consider me as more than a friend. I know you don't think this way, but I really think you and me could be happy together. Just think about it and get back to me whenever you can. Love from, Spike She read the letter over and over again, each time getting more choked up than the last. The letter fluttered to the floor as her magic released its hold on the parchment. She watched it fall to the floor and continued staring at it for a full minute or so before finally falling into a crumbled heap on the floor, softly sobbing to herself. Oh, how stupid she'd been! He hadn't been giving her an order to fill; he had been giving her a very heartfelt love letter, and she'd just cast it aside as if it were nothing! No wonder he'd looked so distraught afterward. She should have known that the letter meant something to him, that she meant everything to him. How could she have been so blind?! Her sobs began to come in soft whimpers while she picked herself up off the floor. Her legs wobbled as she struggled to regain her composure, but found that this was a lot harder due to the emotional weight that had been hoisted onto her back. She bit her lip in an effort to keep in the guilt-ridden scream that she so desperately wanted to be let out. When she kept it in, she felt her stomach knot up. Her chest felt tight. Was this what it felt like to keep one's emotions bottled up inside? Oh, God, it felt ghastly! How did anypony live with themselves with these horrible feelings weighing them down? She visibly cringed when the feelings began to make her sick to her stomach. She realized that she would need to consult somepony, anypony, in order to rid her of these horrible feelings. She supposed that the pony that she should talk to first was Twilight. After all, Spike had been her number one assistant, and losing him had probably dealt her a terrible blow that was more than likely more devastating than how Rarity felt now. Author's Note Constructive criticism is appreciated. Chapter 2Chapter 2 It wasn't possible. No matter how hard she tried, Rarity could not get Spike off her mind. Worst yet was the fact that guilt, more than anything else, was often accompanied with these thoughts. She wasn't exactly sure why she felt so guilty regarding the dragon's passing; maybe it was because she'd had a hoof in his death. If it weren't for her and casting aside his heartfelt love letter with such a cold heart, maybe he would still be here. No, that wasn't possible. Even if she'd taken the time to read his letter, he still would have been depressed because she'd rejected him. Either way, he would have committed suicide. Or at least that's the way she looked at it. Ever since Spike's death, she'd become less and less motivated to take part in her business. An order would come, needing to be filled, only for her to cast it aside while she rolled over to get a couple more hours of sleep. Balled up wet tissues covered her bed from the many nights she'd stayed up trying to get to sleep. Her sleeping schedule had been thrown out of whack due to this. She couldn't help but wonder how the others were doing. Surely they weren't doing any better than her. They were probably more distressed than she was. Twilight especially had to be as affected as her considering the fact that she was the one who was closest to him. The purple unicorn had practically been like a mother to him, showing him guidance and wisdom as he'd grown up, once he'd been handed over to her after she'd become of legal age to look after him, of course. Somehow, she managed to drag herself out of bed and downstairs to the first floor with the little energy she had. Blinking, she looked at herself in the mirror, only for her eyes to pop open at how horrid she looked. Her mane and tail were a mangled mess. There were bags and crust underneath her eyes. Her nose was running. There was dirt within her ears. Before she did anything, she would need to doll herself up before going to visit her friend. After a quick hot shower and a combing, she at least looked presentable enough to go visit Twilight. She left a note on the front door of the Boutique and made her way towards the Ponyville library. She gently knocked on the door and was soon greeted by Twilight, who quickly ushered her in. “How are you?” Twilight asked. Rarity simply shook her head. Twilight frowned. “That bad?” “What about you? How have you been holding up?” “I've been doing okay. My studies have been helping me keep my mind off things.” “Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. You should have time to grieve, darling. It's not going to do you any good to keep your emotions bottled up inside like that.” Twilight nodded. “You're right. How have you been dealing with it?” “I haven't really spoken to anyone since it happened, really. I've mostly kept myself in my room, in bed. I barely had any energy to come over here. I've been eating regularly, though I must say that I haven't had much of an appetite lately.” “I haven't either, to be honest.” Both looked down before Rarity suddenly perked up. “I've got it! Why don't we go out and have a drink?” Twilight gave her a confused look. “You mean like at the bar?” “Exactly!” Twilight shook her head. “I don't know.” “It'll help us get our mind off things. Besides, it's not like I have anything better to do. We can get something to eat first, and then we can go out and get a drink. Come on, it'll be fun.” Twilight thought about it for a moment or two before finally looking up at Rarity and nodding her head. “Okay, let's do it. It sounds like fun. I've been spending too much time in this library anyway. It'd be good to get some fresh air.” Rarity smiled. “Great.” After eating at a local restaurant located within the square of Ponyville, Twilight and Rarity made their way towards the bar located not too far away from Ponyville–Ten Green Bottles. They entered, looking around for any of their friends. Not recognizing anypony, they approached the bar and sat down. Rarity ordered a brandy while Twilight, not exactly familiar with alcoholic beverages, ordered white wine. They both sat drinking their beverages in silence. Every now and then, they would glance at each other. Otherwise, they didn't say a word. “Why do you think he did it?” For the first time since they'd entered the bar, Twilight made eye contact with Rarity. “What would make him want to kill himself?” For the longest time, Rarity didn't say anything in response; she simply stared down at the honey-colored liquid in her glass. “If I were ever to meet the one responsible,” Twilight said, causing Rarity to look at her. She shook her head. “I don't know what I'd do.” Rarity looked back at her glass. She lifted it to her lips and drained it. Setting it back down on the bar, she called to the bartender, “Can I get another one, please?” After her night of drinking with Twilight, who hadn't drunk that much, Rarity found herself escaping reality through the Ponyville bar. At first, it started off as a small glass of rum and whatnot. It soon spiraled into full-blown alcoholism where she was drinking heavily even at home. She kept a stash of alcoholic beverages underneath her bed and would drink a bottle or two when she couldn't get to sleep. The alcohol didn't seem to be working, though. Regardless of how much she drank, Spike continued to plague her mind. She couldn't even concentrate on her work anymore because of how consumed her thoughts were about Spike and what she'd done to him and what it'd led to. She was at least grateful that Twilight didn't appear to be digging any further into why Spike would off himself. Still, she surely should have noticed something was wrong with him when he'd started drinking. Not only that, but he'd been rather distant with the whole lot of them, slacking off on his chores and spending most of his time sleeping. Whether it was from a hangover or depression, she wasn't entirely sure. Twilight must have known something was wrong with him since she'd voiced her concerns to her friends on numerous occasions. Still feeling guilty, Rarity hadn't said anything regarding Spike's behavior.. Of course, she hadn't known that he'd been drinking back then. She'd surely noticed that he was quite depressed, however. She figured that if she simply ignored it and acted like it was nothing, then it would simply go away and she would be able to forget about it. The memory wasn't leaving her, sadly. When she wasn't sleeping and dreaming about him, she saw his face everywhere. She would sometimes go outside and gaze at the clouds to get her mind off things, only for the clouds to remind her of him. Perhaps her mind was simply playing tricks on her, the guilt getting the best of her. It wasn't just her mind. All of her senses seemed to remind her of Spike. The air had the scent of his breath. The chilly winds had his touch. Voices she wasn't familiar with had his tone and childlike giddiness. She simply could not get away from him, no matter what she did. Perhaps she simply needed to tell someone that Spike might have offed himself because of her. But would her friends continue to accept her if she did? Would they abandon her and refuse to ever have anything to do with her? Would Fluttershy stop going to the spa with her? Despite the circumstances, the two of them had continued to go on their weekly trips to the spa. It was a grand way to escape from the reality outside of the spa that they had to face. Of course, Fluttershy had had to work up enough energy to go with her. Like the others, she was quite depressed and honestly didn't feel like doing anything else besides sleeping and taking care of her animal friends. Still, the tranquility that the spa provided didn't stop Fluttershy from asking Rarity how she was doing and why Spike would even consider killing himself. Rarity supposed that she should have been expecting all of her friends to be asking that question. Sure, he was depressed, but none of them had thought that he would actually kill himself. Rarity hadn't just had a hoof in Spike killing himself. When it came down to it, they all supposed that they were all guilty. None of them had bothered to take the time to question him as to how he was doing or if they could do anything to cheer him up. At the very least, Twilight had attempted to do this by making special meals for him and selflessly taking time out of her studies to take him to the park or to Sugarcube Corner to get him something to eat, noticing that he hadn't been eating regularly. She'd even fixed him a bowl of gems that he hadn't touched, much less bothered to look at. Realizing this, it made sense that Rarity wasn't the only one feeling guilty regarding Spike's death. They all felt the sting of his death lingering on their minds and lives. All of them were finding it hard, if not downright impossible, to move on with their lives following the tragedy that had befallen their family. Many of them found it hard to continue on with their work and businesses. Even Twilight had said a number of times that she'd had so little energy that she merely spent much of her time in bed, going many a night without reading a single paragraph of even one chapter of a book. Even so, Rarity found it very hard to get any sleep throughout the night due to the fact that Spike was constantly on her mind. She supposed she couldn't have been the only one. Surely Twilight had to be losing as much sleep as she had been. Naturally, this made it so that she had very little energy throughout the day and she found herself wandering to her bed in need of a nap on many days. Even coffee and food didn't provide her with the energy she needed. Still, she ate a little bit of something, if just to keep her strength up. Throughout the day, she couldn't help but wonder how the others were doing. They hadn't spoken much since the tragedy had struck, keeping to themselves most of the time and opting to stay inside their homes, not wandering out. She figured that if anypony was going to take charge, it had to be her. Sure, it would be hard as they went along. Considering the fact that they'd conquered every villain that had been thrown at them, she figured they could easily conquer the pain of losing a loved one. All she had to do was make them see that they couldn't let a tragedy divide them. Before she did that, though, she supposed she should have closure with herself before trying to bring the others to closure herself. She found that this was easier said than done. She'd become so accustomed to drinking throughout the day that she found it quite hard to even make herself coffee without adding just a little bit of alcohol to the beverage. Even her sweet tea contained a small amount of it. It wasn't enough to where she was so hammered that she couldn't take two steps without tripping all over herself. She was somewhat buzzed, though. It was only after the alcohol had worn off, after a few hours at least, that she would attempt to get to work on filling out the orders that she had piled up, only to find that concentrating on her work was even harder under the influence of alcohol. She eventually got tired of trying to do any work and decided that some fresh air would do her some good. Grabbing Opalescence, she thought that it would be good to go to the park. Even if it was for a little while, it would be good to feel the sun on her fur. She honestly wasn't expecting to run into anypony while at the park. She bumped into Fluttershy, who was busy having a picnic with her woodland friends in the shade underneath a tree. She led Opal over to the group and sat down. She smiled when Fluttershy looked over at her. “So, how have you been, dear?” “Fine,” Fluttershy stated. She looked down and took a sip of her tea. “Oh.” She moved closer to the cream-colored pegasus. “Have you heard from Twilight or any of the others? Maybe Rainbow Dash?” Fluttershy shook her head. “No, I haven't. I've been stuck in my house most of the time for the past couple of weeks taking care of Angel.” “Would you be up to going with me to the spa this weekend? A mud bath would fix you right up.” Fluttershy smiled at the offer. “That would be nice. A mud bath would probably relieve me of my nerves.” Rarity suddenly frowned. “Do you think they're all right? The others, I mean.” Fluttershy nodded. “I'm sure they're fine. Of course, it wouldn't hurt to go and check.” “You're probably right. We should really get back in touch. It's been so long since we've done anything together.” “I'm sorry, Rarity.” “No need to apologize, darling. It's quite all right, really. I've not been up to doing anything as of late either.” “Oh.” A brief silence fell over them. Fluttershy gently pushed a plate towards her friend. “You hungry? I made an extra sandwich just in case Angel was hungrier than usual.” Rarity stared down at the sandwich for a moment or two before gratefully taking it and beginning to eat. It wasn't exactly the most appetizing thing in the world, but considering that she hadn't eaten lunch yet, she wasn't about to complain. Silence fell over the two as Rarity ate her lunch and Fluttershy drank her tea. The two watched as Fluttershy's forest friends frolicked not too far ahead of them, rolling around on the ground and playing with each other. Even Rarity had to admit that the sight was quite adorable. She was just glad that Opalescence was getting along with the others. The cat wasn't actually keen on company. Once she'd finished her meal and wiped her mouth off, Rarity added, “I might go by Spike's grave sometime today. I'd gladly invite you and the others to join me, but I'd rather go alone, honestly. It's a personal thing. Besides, the flowers on his grave are starting to wither.” “I'm sure no matter what flowers you pick, they'll be beautiful,” Fluttershy stated. “You've always had a keen eye for that sort of thing.” Rarity smiled down at her as she got up from her sitting position. “So I'll see you on Saturday at eleven at the spa, correct?” Fluttershy nodded. “I'll try to be there.” “Wonderful.” She turned her head towards her pet. “Opal! Come along, darling, we must be going!” The cat ran over to her and began following at her heels. Author's Note Constructive criticism is appreciated. Chapter 3 Chapter 3 Chapter 3 She didn't see the point in going to bed. It wasn't as if she was going to get much sleep, anyway. Even if she did, her dreams would only distract her.. That's all they were, really. They were nothing more than an illusion, a fantasy brought on by her imagination, of what she wanted to be real. She knew that her dreams only showed her what she wanted to be real, something she could never have. She sighed dejectedly to herself as she slipped into bed, her bedsheets and comforter providing her with warmth. The room was somewhat chilly. Oddly enough, her bed provided her with some comfort, but it wasn't enough to relieve her of the guilt and hurt that consumed her day and night. She sighed, slipping a hoof underneath her pillow. She rolled over onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. She had no idea how she was going to fix the damage that she'd done. As far as she knew, none of her friends knew that she'd had a hoof in Spike's demise. While it would have been better to keep things that way, if only to save face, she knew that the truth had to come out eventually. She couldn't just let them wallow in their ignorance regarding Spike's death. She was sure that Twilight, being the crafty unicorn she was, was already starting to piece together the puzzle. After all, Rarity had been the last one to see Spike alive, and she was sure that Twilight had noticed that Spike's demeanor had changed soon after her rejection of him. He had become sluggish, more socially withdrawn, and had begun sleeping longer hours, and been in a more depressed state of mind. Surely Twilight had noticed that something was wrong and she had more than likely asked him to explain himself why he isolated himself from the group. Given his depression, Rarity doubted that he had given Twilight anything resembling a response. It took a little over seven minutes, but she finally managed to get to sleep. She just hoped that her dreams tonight would be just as pleasant as they had been in the past. *** Rarity found herself being pulled. It wasn't forceful; it was more like gliding. Looking around, she found that she was being pulled by way of a couple of stallions while snow fell from all directions. She was seated, quite comfortably, mind you, in a chariot. Looking over the side of the chariot, she noticed that she was a long way off the ground. Turning back around, she jumped upon spotting Spike sitting beside her. He smiled brightly at her. “Having a good time?” “Oh, um . . .” She took another moment to look around, then smiled back at him. “Why, yes.” His smile, if possible, brightened. “It's kind of cold out tonight. You want some hot chocolate?” She watched him bend over and pull out a tray that held a tea kettle and two teacups, seemingly from nowhere. He poured a cup for her first, then for himself, and gave it to her. She took it in her hooves. Steam mixed with the sight of her breath when she exhaled. She looked over at him to see that he had already downed his entire cup and was pouring himself another. She finally took a sip of the hot chocolate herself and a satisfying sigh escaped her mouth. Of course, the hot chocolate was in complete contrast to the chilly weather surrounding them. The warmth of the beverage spread from her mouth down to her hooves. The next thing that Spike pulled out was a little more believable, seeing as how it was entirely plausible. He lifted a leg and tugged a thick wool blanket from underneath his seat and gingerly wrapped it around her, pulling her close so that she could rest her head on his shoulder. “I hope you're having a good time.” She smiled up at him. “Oh, I am, darling. I am.” She sighed contently and snuggled up closer to him. She lifted her cup to her mouth to take another sip of hot chocolate. “This hot chocolate is simply splendid! Where did you get it?” “Applejack. It's an old family recipe.” “Hmm. I'll have to ask her to share the recipe with me sometime.” She felt him put his arm around her, tightly pinning the blanket to her body. Everything was so blissful that she could have easily fallen asleep if she wanted to. But wait. She was already asleep, wasn't she? Was any of this real? Or was it all in her head, like her previous imaginings had been? Perhaps. At the moment, she didn't care. She was too busy enjoying herself to think about it. Even if it was just her imagination, she was so at peace here that she didn't want to leave. Had she had her way, she wouldn't have. Even though it was just her and Spike, she was content. *** “Rarity . . .” Sweete Belle shook her older sister once again in an effort to get her up. “Rarity, get up already! I'm hungry.” At least this time she got a response, but it wasn't the response she was hoping for. The most she got was a mutter and a waving hoof, Rarity's way of saying, “Just five more minutes. Leave me alone.” Well, Sweete wasn't going to have any of that. She might not have been very skilled at magic, but that didn't mean she wasn't a novice when it came to it. Her horn glowed. Rarity cried out in a panic and made a desperate attempt to grab onto her pillow or anything that would keep her from floating off the bed. It was futile, however, as she was suddenly plummeted onto her bed, only to be levitated up towards the ceiling again. Repeatedly, she was bounced up and down upon her bed. There was only one way out of this. “Okay, okay, I'm up! I'm up!” Sweete Belle smiled and she slowly lowered her sister back onto the bed. Rarity groaned. “Quite a demanding little pest, aren't you?” She mockingly glared at her little sister, a smile letting Sweete know that she was only playing. Sweete smiled back. “That's what sisters are for.” Rarity got out of bed and began making it. “I suppose so. You could always think of a way to wake me up more peacefully, you know.” Sweete pouted. “But that wouldn't be as much fun.” “For you, maybe.” Sweete giggled. Rarity sighed. “I really wish you hadn't woken me. I was having the loveliest dream.” Her stomach growled. “On the other hoof, I am somewhat glad you woke me up as early as you did.” She looked over at the clock on her bedside table. It was only seven in the morning and she let out an annoyed groan. “Then again, maybe not. Anyway, I'm hungry. What say you and me go down to the kitchen and fix something. What sounds good?” “Pancakes.” The littlest unicorn jumped up and down happily. The sight reminded Rarity of Pinkie Pie. “Very well, then. Pancakes it is.” Honestly, Rarity was in no mood for cooking, or eating for that matter. If it would make Sweete happy, however, she was more than willing to look past her own needs to make her little sister happy. So, the two of them worked together to make pancakes. Rarity made the batter and Sweete poured the batter onto the pan. At one point, Sweete had attempted a flip, which hadn't ended up being successful. She had manged to do the flipping part, but the pancake itself had ended up on top of Rarity's head, part of it being pierced by her horn. The sight had made Sweete giggle and, despite her mood, had made Rarity chuckle to herself as well. After a warm breakfast, Sweete was off with Applebloom and Scootaloo to play in the park, leaving Rarity to her own devices. She promised Rarity that she would be safe, then dashed out the door. It was an odd thing for Rarity to go through. For the first time in her fife, she didn't feel like sewing or making dresses. She blamed her depression due to Spike's passing being the cause of this. She didn't want to do anything but lie in bed and attempt to return to her dream. What was it about again? Oh, blast it all! She'd gotten so distracted by making pancakes and her odd sullen mood that she couldn't even remember what her own dream had been about! And it had been such a wonderful dream, too. Or had it? She couldn't recollect. She couldn't help but wonder how the others were doing without Spike around. She was sure that they were all just as miserable as she was. They had to be. It wasn't possible for them to be moving on with their lives after the tragedy that had struck their family. Even if they had managed to move on with their lives, there was no guarantee that they didn't stop to reflect on Spike's passing and their feelings regarding it. Twilight was certainly going through hell trying to get over her number one assistant's passing. She had told Twilight herself that Twilight needed to give herself time to grief. She hoped that Twilight was taking her words to heart and taking at least a little time out of her day to grieve. *** Applejack had been worried about Rainbow Dash since the day of Spike's funeral. It seemed that the rainbow-maned pony had been one of the most displeased regarding Spike's passing. Aside from Applejack, she had been the only one outright glaring at the tombstone as the coffin was being lowered into the ground. The two of them hadn't spoken much since then. Come to think of it, the Mane Six hadn't interacted much at all since that day, and Applejack couldn't help but be curious as to how Rainbow Dash was holding up regarding the recent events. After a quick visit to Twilight's to have the cloud walking spell performed on her, it was off to Rainbow Dash's. She had to stop and stare at Rainbow Dash's home. This was really the first time that she'd gotten the chance to actually see her friend's home. It was quite beautiful, really. The cloud served as the foundation for the home. A few feet away from the home itself was a fountain that shot up rainbow-colored water. At various points along the home were waterfalls of rainbow-colored water. The home itself was the same color as Rainbow Dash's coat: cyan blue. The home was about two stories and a little bigger than Applejack had expected. The only issue that Applejack saw was actually getting up to the home. She supposed that the best option would just be to call for Rainbow Dash and hopefully, the cyan pegasus would pick her up and carry her up to her home. Taking a deep breath, she shouted Rainbow Dash's name. She expected that she'd yelled loud enough for half of Ponyville to hear her. She waited patiently and when there was no response after two minutes, she tried yet again. She cursed under her breath when she received no response. Rainbow Dash was either ignoring her or was too depressed to come to the door. The only other way to get up to the porch would be to have somepony throw her up high enough for her to reach it. This plan would have worked had there been anypony around to actually do the task. She looked up when she heard a creak. Rainbow Dash slowly drifted down to her level. “Hey, Rainbow. How are you doing?” Rainbow Dash yawned and lifted a hoof to rub at one of her eyes. “Hi, Applejack.” She bent down to stretch. “I've been doing okay, I guess.” “Would it be all right if I come inside?” She looked up at Rainbow Dash's wonderful home yet again. “I suppose so.” She picked up Applejack and soared up to her home, landing on the porch. She gently pushed the door open and invited Applejack to go in first. The farm pony smiled warmly at her and walked in. Rainbow Dash's home wasn't as tidy as Applejack had expected. There was overturned furniture, broken pictures, feathers and cotton all over the floor. Some pictures weren't even broken, just sitting askew on the walls. There were several bottles of cider lying along the floor, as well as many empty packages of food. Applejack gawked at the mess. Rainbow Dash gave a nervous chuckle. “Heh. Sorry about the mess. I guess I haven't been feeling so well after all.” She started towards the kitchen. “Can I get you anything? A drink? Something to eat?” Applejack came out of her trance and shook her head. “Thank you kindly, but no thank you. I'd like to talk to you.” “In that case, I'll fix us some cider.” She walked over to a machine that was in the kitchen. She retrieved two mugs from the cabinet above the stove and pressed down on one of the levers of the machine, filling the first mug up with cider. It had been a machine that the Apple family had worked on together and had given to Rainbow Dash as a birthday present so that she didn't have to wait in line during cider season and could have cider whenever she wanted. It seemed as if Rainbow Dash had been abusing that kind of power as of late. Applejack was actually kind of surprised that Rainbow Dash wasn't drunk off her hindquarters. The two of them sat down on the living room couch, their mugs of cider placed on the coffee table. “So, RD, how have you been holding up?” Applejack took a moment to look around the room. “Not very well, I reckon.” Rainbow Dash shook her head. “No, not very well. I can't sleep. Oddly enough, I've had a spike in my appetite lately, whatever that means.” Applejack chuckled. “I think it means you've been doing a little bit o' binging for the past few days.” She playfully poked Rainbow Dash's slightly distended stomach. “Yeah, okay, so I've put on a couple of pounds. So what?” She glared and snorted, blowing Applejack's mane to the side. Applejack gave her a concerned look. “Sugarcube, are you sure you're okay? I don't feel right about leaving you here by your lonesome. I don't want you doing something you'll regret.” Rainbow Dash tapped a hoof against her chin in thought. “I have been feeling kind of lonely lately. I suppose it wouldn't hurt to get out of the house for a while, get some fresh air.” Applejack hugged her. “Wonderful! While you're out, we can check up on Rarity and the others, see how they're doing.” She took a swig of her cider. “Sure thing.” “If you want, I'd be more than happy to help you clean up this mess.” “We can do that later. Right now I feel like stretching my legs.” She hunched over and allowed her wings to come to life. “What do you say to a little race, for old times' sake.” Applejack smiled and tipped her hat. “Sounds like fun.” “On your mark, get set, go!” Rainbow Dash said this so fast that Applejack barely had time to understand what she'd said before she was flying out the door. “Hey! Get back here! You cheated!” Applejack took off after her. Rainbow Dash laughed happily as she sprinted down the dirt road. Even though Applejack was still miffed about her cheating, she couldn't hide the smile on her face upon hearing Rainbow Dash laugh so gayly. *** “Thank you, come again,” Pinkie Pie said happily to the customer. She handed him his box of goodies and watched him walk off. She smiled brightly when she saw Fluttershy come up to the counter. “Hey, Fluttershy! What can I get for you?” She wiped off the counter with a cloth. “Oh, um . . .” Fluttershy bent down to look at the various sweets that lined the shelves. “Oh, my, they all look good!” She stomped her hoof in frustration. “Oh! I can't choose. What would you recommend, Pinkie Pie?” “Ooh, that's a toughie. Hmm. Well, we have strudel, turnovers, eclairs, sweet rolls–” “Whichever you think is the best is fine.” Pinkie Pie chuckled. “In that case, I'll give you one of everything.” “Oh, uh, okay. H-How much will that be?” “It's on the house. You really look like you could use some sweets in your belly.” She filled a bag with one of everything from the shelves and pushed the bag towards the cream-colored pegasus. “Enjoy!” Fluttershy smiled gratefully and took the bag in her mouth. “Thanks. I'm sure I will.” She set the bag on the floor and gave her friend a serious look. “You seem pretty upbeat considering everything that's happened recently.” Pinkie Pie shook her head. “It's true. There are some days that are dark and lonely, and sometimes I do feel sad. But then I remember that my friends are there to show that it's really not so bad.” She grinned. Her smile seemed to be too big for her face. Fluttershy frowned. “Pinkie Pie, we had a very close friend just die. Doesn't that make you feel the least bit–” “Excuse me!” Both mares looked to see a stallion glaring at the two of them. “Could you two please continue this conversation some other time! I would like to get my order before sundown!” “Here you are, sir,” Pinkie Pie replied, stretching out a bag for him. The stallion grabbed his bag and snorted in Pinkie's face before turning and storming out of the store. Fluttershy nodded her head, agreeing with the enraged stallion's statement. “Perhaps we should continue this conversation some other time, Pinkie, when you're not working, that is.” “Of course, Fluttershy! If it's convenient for you, I'll be at your place this afternoon.” “I'm supposed to have Rarity over for tea this afternoon. Perhaps maybe at a later time, if that's okay with you. I mean, if that's not a problem, that is.” “Can do!” “Okay. So, I'll see you around seven.” “Sounds good to me. I'll bring dinner. We'll make a date out of it.” Fluttershy swallowed. “A date?” *** Rarity let out a sigh of relief upon spotting Fluttershy coming out of Sugarcube Corner with a bag of sweets in her mouth. “Fluttershy, darling, there you are!” She trotted over to the yellow pegauss and began walking alongside her. “Are you all right, dear? We haven't talked in so long. We really should go to the spa again sometime. It's so rejuvenating! It really feels like all of your problems are just melting away.” Fluttershy smiled at the idea. “That sounds wonderful. Do you still want to have tea with me?” “Why, of course, dear. Lead the way.” After a short silence, she asked, “So, have you spoken to any of the others since the . . . uh, 'incident.'” “Yes, I just got done talking with Pinkie Pie. She seems very happy considering the circumstances. But, she's the only one I've been able to talk to. I haven't been out of my cottage in such a long time. I just came into town today to get some food. I've been so depressed lately that I can't seem to find the energy to do anything besides feed myself and my animal friends.” Rarity gave her friend an encouraging smile. “Believe me, Fluttershy, we all know how you feel. Don't worry, though. I'm sure things will turn around . . . in a year or so.” “Oh, goodness. I don't think I can wait that long to feel happy again.” “Don't fret.” She nuzzled Fluttershy. “If we can survive being brainwashed and turned against each other, petty arguments, and instances of selfishness and neglect, we can certainly get through this.” “I have no doubt.” “Wonderful! What have you got there?” She pointed to the bag in Fluttershy's mouth. “Oh, just some sweets I picked up from Sugarcube Corner. I'd be more than happy to share with you.” “I don't normally partake in sweets, but since it's lunchtime and I haven't eaten anything yet, what's the harm? Like a couple of sweets are going to hurt.” *** “You know, in hindsight, I should have stopped after that eclair,” Rarity groaned. Fluttershy chuckled. “Don't worry about it, Rarity.” Using her head, she helped Rarity sit up. “It just means you have good taste in food.” “I suppose you're right. A nap should do the trick in quelling my upset stomach.” She took a sip of her sweet tea. “So, you say that you haven't been out of your cottage in quite a while?” Fluttershy sat down in front of her friend. “That's right. Why do you ask?” “I've been thinking about Twilight lately. Do you think she's having just as hard a time as us, even more?” “It's possible. The two of them were very close, like brother and sister even. Of course Twilight would be devastated about his passing.” She shook her head slightly, her pink mane swaying to and fro. “I've been trying to figure out what could have caused him to want to end his life so abruptly. I'm sure the others have been trying to figure it out too, Twilight doubly so.” Rarity nodded in agreement. “Quite right. It makes absolute sense that she would want to find out why her closest friend since fillyhood would want to off himself.” “Do you think she's figured it out yet?” “I don't know.” At least I hope not, she thought. “We should go visit her sometime, make sure she's okay.” “Excellent idea, Fluttershy. But,” she cringed as another shoot of pain ran through her stomach, “it'll have to wait. You wouldn't mind me taking a nap here, would you?” Fluttershy shook her head. “Of course not. You can sleep in my bed. It's time for me to feed my animal friends anyway, and then I'll find something quiet to do so you can rest.” “Thank you ever so much, dearie. Wake me up in an hour or so, would you?” “Okay.” *** Twilight let out a frustrated growl and tossed the book across the room. It was no use. She couldn't concentrate. She glared daggers at the book until her eyes fell on Spike's basket. Aside from tidying it up, she hadn't touched his basket since his passing. The blanket was neatly laid out and the pillow fluffed. She inhaled shakily and continued to stare at the basket. Why hadn't she gotten rid of it by now? Why wasn't she moving on with her life and furthering her studies? It was simple: she couldn't. Since she had hatched him, she had practically been like a mother to him, helping Celestia and her parents take care of him. When he'd been old enough, he'd been permitted to go live with Twilight and her family. The group had treated him as one of the family. He would sit next to Twilight at mealtime and the two of them would talk and play when Twilight wasn't busy studying magic. It had been such a wonderful time, but also a sad one. Because she was so enthusiastic about her studies, she hadn't exactly bothered going out and making friends. Aside from Shining Armor, Cadence, Celestia and her parents, Spike was the only friend she had. Since they were older and had responsibilities, her family and teacher couldn't be bothered to spend as much time with her as they would have liked. It had been a very lonely and sometimes depressing childhood. She had luckily had Spike around to spend time with. Now that he was gone, she felt as if a part of herself had been taken. Her spirit had been destroyed, her heart broken in two, her enthusiasm for anything crushed. How was she supposed to concentrate on her reading when all she could think about was her little baby dragon? “Twilight . . .” Her ear flickered. She turned her head, looking around. She'd thought that maybe she'd heard Spike's voice. Maybe she was just delirious from grief. Her mind was more than likely playing tricks on her. After all, she had literally lost track of time. She didn't know what month it was, much less the day. It could have been Tuesday, for all she knew. She hadn't been getting much sleep. Anytime she closed her eyes, all she could see was Spike's lifeless body lying in his basket, and her efforts to revive him had been futile, no matter how hard she'd tried. Oh, Celestia, she missed him so much! Out of all her friends, Spike had been the most loyal, the most kind. Yes, in her circle of friends, Spike had both Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy bested in terms of loyalty and kindness. He had never left her side, never failed to obey whatever she needed him to do. He was always eager to help, whatever she needed. Even when she'd strictly told him to stay at the top of the stairs when they'd been looking for the Crystal Heart, he had deliberately disobeyed her out of pure worry for her when she hadn't been responding to his calls. He had selflessly given up his precious gem to Rarity, even though he'd been saving it for his birthday. Though a mistake, he had selflessly devoted himself to Applejack after she'd saved his life, and he had selflessly offered to watch after their pets when they'd gone to the Crystal Empire to oversee the preparations for the Equestrian Games. She couldn't have asked for a better assistant. Scratch that. A better friend. He was more than just her assistant, and he'd proven that a number of times. The library was a mess from where he hadn't been around to clean it. She supposed that she could always clean it herself, but she never had the energy to do so. She mostly spent her time, enjoying the warmth of her bedsheets, hoping that maybe what had occurred had just been some horrid nightmare, that any moment now she would smell the sweet scents of Spike cooking breakfast downstairs for them. But, no. The scents didn't come. Her hope was tarnished. She was alone. Sad and alone. She just had to accept the fact that, no matter which way she looked at it, Spike was gone and wasn't coming back. Oh, sweet Celestia! If this was what it was like to lose a friend, then she surely didn't want to go through this again! She was going to have to go through the pain and suffering of having to see all of her closest friends pass onto the other side, whether she wanted to or not. Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, all of them would eventually pass on, and there was absolutely nothing she could do to stop it. Oh, how awful! She didn't think she could go through it another time, much less five! And her family would eventually pass on too, so there was even more hurt and pain to look forward to. Oh, goodie! She sighed and collapsed on her bed, burying her face in her pillow. She slowly turned her head, hoping to see Spike snoozing there, his snoring echoing around the room. She saw nothing but an empty basket. She glared and angrily slammed her head against the pillow, breathing heavily as her emotions began to get the best of her. She finally stopped and simply buried her head in her pillow as she sobbed quietly to herself, her body shaking with each shaky sob. When would it end? It seemed that she couldn't go a day without thinking about him, how much she'd meant to him. If only she'd known how easily life could be taken away, she would have taken more time to tell him that she loved him. She hardly recalled ever saying as much to him. She was sure that he'd known how much she loved him, but he still deserved to be reassured now and again. “Twilight . . .” There was that voice again. Or was it simply her imagination? She didn't know, and at this point she was too caught up in her emotions to care. Why?! Why had he done it?! Was he unhappy being with her? Was he depressed? Was somepony bullying him? There were so many possibilities of why he'd want to commit suicide. She'd read up on the symptoms of depression. She should have known that he was depressed based on his sluggish performance and the fact that he was crankier than usual because he hadn't been getting enough sleep. Why hadn't she confronted him, talked to him about why he was so sad? She'd done it with her other friends, so why hadn't she done it with him? It was unacceptable that she'd ruled him out. She should have been more careful, should have studied his behavior more closely to truly come to the conclusion that he was depressed. She hadn't done any of that. Why hadn't she?! If she had, she could have stopped this terrible thing from happening. One of the reasons why she couldn't rest was probably because that question was still lingering in her head constantly: what would cause him to want to kill himself? She didn't understand it. She'd always thought that he'd been happy living with her. Perhaps she was wrong. “Twilight!” Her ear flickered yet again and she sat up in bed, listening carefully. If her ears weren't deceiving her, she could have sworn that she could hear somepony knocking at the door. A visitor? Maybe this was a good thing. She could use some fresh air. She'd been cooped up in the library for far too long. She was taken aback to find Fluttershy and Rarity standing at her doorstep. She hadn't been expecting them. “Hello, Twilight,” Rarity greeted her warmly. “Doing any better today?” Twilight gave her a puzzled look. “What day is today?” “I'll take that as a no,” Rarity replied. “We just came by to check up on you and make sure that you were doing well.” “I'm doing okay, I suppose.” “You suppose?” Fluttershy asked. “Judging by your appearance, dear, I'd say you're not doing okay.” Rarity pointed to Twilight's mane and tail. “You're an absolute mess. You know what? A bath would fix you right up.” Twilight blushed. 'It has been a while since I've bathed. I suppose a hot bath does sound nice.” “Wonderful!” *** Admittedly, Twilight hadn't been so sure at first, but the hot bath was quite relaxing. She let out a sigh of content and leaned back against the tub. “Arms up,” Pinkie instructed. No sooner had Twilight done this was it that Pinkie began scrubbing underneath her forelegs, making the unicorn cackle in laughter. She had insisted that her friends help her bathe in order to get the spots that she couldn't reach, such as her back, rear, hind legs, and her tail, among others. They had started on her mane at first and had worked their way down. “You know,” Twilight said, “I've been thinking. Maybe we should all get together sometime and talk about our feelings regarding Spike's passing. It may help us all cope better. If anything, it'll help us get some things off our chests.” “I'm not sure I'd be comfortable talking about my feelings,” Fluttershy replied. “Nopony's going to judge you, Fluttershy,” Twilight reassured her. “That's right,” Rarity agreed with a nod. “I think it's a wonderful idea, Twilight! It would give some of us a chance to blow off some steam. From what I've heard from Applejack, Rainbow Dash is pretty miffed about the whole situation.” “Believe me, so am I,” Twilight remarked, “but staying quiet about it isn't going to help anypony. We can only start to heal when we start talking about it and attempting to move on. We're not doing that by avoiding each other.” “Mm-hmm,” Pinkie added. “So, it's agreed,” Twilight went on. “We'll meet at some point to do a little bit of talking. When is a good time that's convenient for everypony?” “I haven't been getting too much into my work lately,” Rarity told her. “How about this upcoming weekend, if everypony else is free, that is.” “I'm free,” Fluttershy stated. “Me too,” Pinkie Pie added. “Okay, that just leaves Applejack and Rainbow Dash,” Twilight said. “Rarity, I need you to go ask Applejack if she can make it. Fluttershy, you do the same with Rainbow Dash.” “I'll try,” Fluttershy said. “Don't worry about a thing, Twilight,” Rarity assured. “Even if I have to hold her down, tie her up, and drag her to the library, I'll make sure that Applejack is at that meeting.” “Do you think it's such a good idea to have it at the library?” Twilight questioned. “Having it at the place where he died could be a little too much.” “Why don't we throw a party?” Pinkie Pie suggested. “It'll liven things up and get everypony more comfortable!” Twilight tapped her chin in thought. “Hmm, that's not a bad idea.” She nodded. “Why not? With how depressed everpony's been lately, a party would be just the thing to liven up our spirits.” “Whoo-hoo!” Pinkie did a back flip. “I'll get everything ready!” She trotted off. “Hey, wait a minute,” Twilight called. “You still have to–” “Don't worry, Twilight,” Fluttershy said, scrubbing at her friend's back. “Rarity and I can finish up here before going to tell the others.” Twilight smiled gratefully and nuzzled Fluttershy. “Thanks.” Author's Note Yes, I did steal some lines from “Smile Smile Smile” for Pinkie's dialogue. Chapter 4 Chapter 4 Chapter 4 For the first time in a long while, Twilight managed to find the energy to get up and do some cleaning in the library. She walked from one area of her home to the other, dusting off various shelves and counters. She stopped when she came upon Spike's bed. The duster was set upon her bed and she raised an eyebrow at the young dragon's basket, wondering if maybe she should clean it or not. There really was no point, seeing as how the blanket was straight. But maybe the pillow needed fluffing, even if nopony would be sleeping in the basket any longer. Surrounded by a purple aura, the pillow was lifted into the air. Looking down, she discovered what appeared to be a book that had been lying underneath the pillow. She hesitated for a moment or two, wondering what the book could be and whether or not she should even take a peek at it. She had a suspicion that it may or may not have been Spike's personal diary. If so, she contemplated whether it was right to look at it. Being that he was dead, she supposed that it wouldn't hurt to take a look. The diary itself perplexed her. Her relationship with him had been based on honesty. They hadn't kept things from one another. Why had he felt the need to keep a diary with him? Maybe there were some things that he wasn't comfortable with talking about with her. She herself had started keeping a diary ever since his passing, if only to maintain her sanity. The pillow was fluffed and the diary was carefully set on her bed beside the duster. The book was opened and she flipped through several pages. “Maybe reading a couple of entries will give me a clue as to why he killed himself.” She reached the end, deciding that if she wanted any clues as to the reasoning behind his demise, she would need to start at the last journal entry he wrote. Since he had claws, his writing was much neater than that of anypony who was forced to write with their mouth. She had thought that because his claws were so small, his writing would be microscopic, but thankfully his writing was big enough to where she could read it properly. She had to smile at the amount of journal entries that he'd written about Rarity. It came as no surprise, really. He had loved her dearly, but his other journal entries made it abundantly clear that he loved the others as well, if not more. She wasn't surprised in the slightest that he'd dedicated an impressive amount of journal entries to herself. In truth, she couldn't help but be curious as to what he'd written about her. Dear Diary, I had a dream last night. It started out the same as the one the night before, all dark and cold. While I was calling out for someone to help me, Twilight came out of nowhere and picked me up in her hooves She cradled me and rocked me back and forth. I felt very happy in her embrace. I felt safe and comfortable. She smiled at the entry he'd written, a confirmation that he had indeed seen her more as a mother more than a big sister. She went back to the end of the diary, only to find several blank pages. The last entry had been written on the twenty-second of May, the day on which he'd passed away. It seemed that he'd written in the diary ever day for the past month or so. Until then, he hadn't written in the diary since February. Throughout the months of April and May, she noticed a pattern. Every day, he seemed to get more and more depressed. She'd noticed the signs. He hadn't been eating as much. He had been sleeping more. He went about his chores in a rather sluggish manner. He didn't talk much. When he wasn't doing his chores, he would simply lie in bed and sleep. She had been worried about him, but had been too preoccupied with her studies to actually take the time to talk to him about what was bothering him. She had asked one of the others to talk to him. She entrusted Applejack to complete this task the most, seeing as she was one of the more level-headed of her friends, the easiest to talk to, and always gave a good, honest opinion about what should be done about whatever problem that needed resolving. Sadly, Applejack had reported that Spike said that there wasn't anything wrong with them, that he was just in an emotional slump at the moment and he was sure that he would get over it in a matter of days. There was no need to worry. She should have pressed more. She'd been certain that something was bothering him, but she hadn't known what. Maybe knowing what could have saved his life. She wasn't entirely certain of this fact, but there was still a chance, a possibility, that knowing what was bothering him and talking about it could have helped him greatly. It was too late now. There was nothing anypony could do to bring him back. Her ear twitched upon hearing a few knocks at her door. Setting the diary aside, she went to answer the door. Rainbow Dash stood there, not smiling. She looked forlorn. “Are you ready to go?” Rainbow Dash asked quietly. Twilight nodded. “Yes, of course.” “Good. Pinkie Pie wants us there early, so we should get moving.” Twilight remembered Spike's diary and her interest in reading it wouldn't allow her to leave it behind. They could read it together. “Okay, hold on. I want to grab soemthing really quick.” Once Twilight had the diary in her possession, the two of them made their way from the library to Sugarcube Corner. Fluttershy and Rarity were arriving there just as they were. All four of them entered together, not saying a word besides the casual greeting. Upon entering, they found that Applejack was already there, having been instructed by Pinkie Pie to help out with the food while Pinkie took care of the decorations. Unusual for Pinkie Pie, the volume of the music was softly playing the background. There was a table set to one side of the room, fully decked out with various foods and desserts. Bowls of various beverages such as cider and punch were laid out, along with cups and plates. Silently, the group went over to the table and began filling their plates with various foods that they desired. Twilight set Spike's diary down on an unused table while she went to go get something to eat. Not surprisingly, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie selected cider as their beverage. The others simply had punch. They made casual conversation as they ate, not talking about anything particularly important. It seemed that all of them wanted to do everything they could to avoid the topic at hoof–that, of course, being Spike. Once they were all full, they gathered around in a circle. Twilight retrieved Spike's diary and joined them. She noticed that upon discovering the diary, Rarity tensed up. She had a worried look on her face. Perhaps she was just nervous or afraid that she was going to be embarrassed about what Spike had written about her in his diary. If Twilight did come across anything that mentioned Rarity, she would be sure to skip over it, if only for Rarity's sake. “What is that?” Fluttershy asked quietly nodding towards the tome resting in front of Twilight. “I found it just today,” Twilight replied. “It's Spike's diary.” “You're not planning on reading that, are you?” Applejack asked. “Applejack,” Twilight cried sternly. “Of course I am!” “Ah, don't know, Twilight,” Applejack went on. “Ah don't feel right about invading somepony's privacy like this, especially given that somepony's dead.” “Come on, Applejack,” Twilight coaxed. “Maybe it'll give us some clues as to why he killed himself. Maybe he was hiding something or maybe he was struggling with something.” “I have to agree with Applejack,” Rarity spoke up hastily. “If somepony read my diary without my permission, especially if I were dead, why, I'd just be devastated.” Twilight looked around the room. “You all feel the same as Applejack?” They nodded. “Not that we're not curious as to why he killed himself,” Rainbow Dash said. “It just seems wrong to go through his private stuff without his permission.” “But this,' she tapped the diary with her hoof, “could be our only means of finding out what was bothering him, why he felt the need to leave us. How else are we going to find that out?” “We could ask around,” Pinkie Pie suggested enthusiastically. Rarity nodded. “Maybe he was too embarrassed or frightened what any of us would think, so he might have confided in somepony else.” Twilight shook her head. “But that doesn't make sense. Spike knew that he could talk to me about anything.” Her ears flattened. She sunk low until she was lying on her stomach and she slowly rotated her hoof against the diary. “What was so wrong with him that he felt he couldn't confide in me?” “If it's bothering you that much, then, um . . ., perhaps we should take a look inside his diary,” Fluttershy offered. “J-Just a tiny peek, though.” Twilight raised up to look at them again. “Aren't any of you dying to know?” The others visibly cringed. “Bad choice of words there, dear,” Rarity said, smiling a bit. “But, believe me, we all desperately want to know what was going on through his head when he was contemplating suicide. But I don't any of us are willing to stoop so low as to look through his private diary.” “'Stoop so low?'” Twilight cried, somewhat offended. “I was practically his mother! I have every right to know what he was writing down in his diary!” “That may be true,” Applejack said, “ but the truth is, sugarcube, the rest of us aren't interested. You can read it if you want, but please keep the rest of us out of it.” Twilight sighed. “Fine.” She pushed the book aside and eyed them. “So, how have you all been?” “We've all been able to keep our minds occupied with work, mostly,” Applejack stated. She smiled. “I've been bucking trees and cooking like crazy these past couple of days. 'S matter of fact, I think I might have put on a little weight 'cause o' all that baking.” She patted her midsection and grinned. Twilight turned to Rainbow Dash. “Rainbow, what about you? How have you been holding up?” Rainbow Dash exhaled, blowing her mane up. “Terrible. I can't sleep. I can't eat. I can't even enjoy a freaking Daring Do book! Ugh!” Twilight finally broke down and began sobbing quietly, her body shaking. She began to rotate her hoof against Spike's diary. “What did I do? Did I do something, something to make him mad at me? Did he kill himself because of me?” She and the others were struck with shock when a hoof was sent across her face and a hard, loud slap echoed throughout the room. All parties turned their attention to Applejack, who was glaring daggers at Twilight. “How dare you,” Applejack snarled, sneering. She exhaled heavily through her nose, blowing Twilight's mane. “How dare you even think something like that!” She jabbed her hoof in Twilight's chest. “Let me tell you something, sugarcube! That dragon loved you! He loved you to death! His whole world, his whole life, revolved 'round you! Well, you and Rarity, of course.” She looked over at the marshmallow pony, who looked away. She turned back to Twilight. “There was nothing you could have done to make him think that you no longer wanted him around, and for you to even suggest something like that is ridiculous!” She spit at the ground. “I just . . . oomph!!” She kicked a chair that wasn't far away from her, sending it flying across the room and ending up in shatters as it hit the wall. She gritted her teeth, breathing heavily in a futile attempt to calm herself down. She gave them an apologetic look. “Sorry, y'all.” Twilight shook her head. “No, don't be. It's okay.” “No, it's not okay,” Applejack objected, getting in Twilight's face and glaring. “It's a bunch of bull hussy!!” She stomped her hoof. She sniffled and broke down herself, pounding at the floor with her hooves while she screamed over and over again, “Why?! Why?! Why?!” She began to calm down after Rarity began nuzzling her affectionately. She smiled in gratitude and gave the marshmallow pony a warm hug. Twilight frowned. “That's what I keep asking myself.” She shook her head. “I just can't understand why he would do something like this. It just isn't like him. Surely he would have talked to me or one of us if something was bothering him.” The others nodded their heads in agreement. Twilight turned to Rarity. “You were as close to him as I was, Rarity. Did he come to you and talk to you at any point, that you can recall in recent memory?” Rarity swallowed hard. She found herself in quite the pickle. On the one hoof, she could always tell the truth and say that Spike had in fact visited her. She'd been the last one to see him alive. But she didn't want her friends hating her and disowning her when they found out that she was the reason why Spike was dead. On the other hoof, she could always lie and tell them that she didn't recollect Spike visiting her at any point. If only to save her own skin, she thought that it'd be best to tell a white lie instead of risking her friendships. She shook her head at Twilight's question. “Can't say that I have, dear.” Twilight turned to Applejack. “What about you, Applejack? You were practically like a big sister to him.” Applejack smiled. “And you were practically like a mother to him.” She nuzzled Twilight affectionately. “Did he talk to you about anything that was bothering him?” Twilight asked. Applejack sighed dejectedly. “Sorry, sugarcube. Ah can't say that I have.” “Oh.” Twilight's ears flattened against her head. “So, he never talked to any of you in the past few weeks?” They all looked down sorrowfully. “Sorry, Twilight,” Rainbow Dash said. She gave a small smile. “Maybe you're right, though. Maybe reading entries from his diary will give us some clues about why he offed himself. I still don't feel right about going through his personal diary. Seeing as you were pretty much his mother, you can if you want to. Just let us know if you find out anything.” Twilight nodded. “I will.” She placed Spike's diary back in her saddlebag. “Will you guys be all right? You'll let me know if you need to talk, right?” She gave a worried look. Rarity smiled. “Of course, dear.” Twilight hugged her tightly. “Thank you.” She sighed once she'd pulled away. “I can't imagine how hard this must be on you. He loved you very much. I hope you know that.” Rarity looked down. “Yes, I do . . . now. I just wish I'd known it sooner.” Twilight gave her an odd look while the others filed out of the room. “'Sooner?' How could you miss the signs?” Rarity shook her head. “To be honest, I really don't know.” She swallowed. “Listen, what if I were to tell you that I was the one who killed Spike?” Twilight squinted and slightly leaned forward. “What are you talking about?” “Oh, well, let's just say, hypothetically, that I was the reason why Spike offed himself. Let's say that he came to my shop one day and I completely ignored him. He became depressed and finally decided to . . . end it all, for lack of a better term.” She cleared her throat. “Of course I'm just speaking hypothetically. What would you and the others think of me? You wouldn't hate me, would you?” She took a cautionary step back. “Rarity, I'm surprised at you. Why in Equestria would you think we'd hate you. Even if you did have something to do with this, it wasn't your fault. You couldn't have known that Spike was going to kill himself. None of us could have seen that coming. Is this why you've been so distant lately, why you've been avoiding all of us, me especially? You really think you might have had something to do with Spike's passing?” Once again, Rarity looked down, not saying anything in response. She was taken by surprise as she was suddenly enveloped in a warm hug. She looked down at Twilight, the purple unicorn pressing the side of her head against her white, furry chest, her forehooves wrapped around Rarity's neck. “Twilight, w-w-w-what are you doing?” “You looked like you could use a hug. I hope it makes you feel better.” She pulled away and patted Rarity's cheek gently. “Don't beat yourself up over his passing. You had nothing to do with it. Remember, we love you no matter what. We're always here to talk. Let me know if you ever want to talk. I'm always available.” She turned to go out the door. “And you'll do the same with us, right?” Twilight turned and nodded. “Of course. I'll see you around, I hope.” Rarity nodded. “Yeah.” She gave a slight chuckle. “Maybe. I've got to run home and make sure that Sweetie Belle hasn't burned down the Boutique.” Twilight chuckled. “Honestly, Rarity, you should have more faith in your little sister. You could learn a thing or two from Applejack.” “I'm sure I could. Anyway, I'll talk to you later, Twilight.” “I hope so.” The two of them went their separate ways upon walking outside, a final hug sending them on their way. *** “Hey, Applejack?” Said pony turned to see Rainbow Dash heading towards her. “What is it, Rainbow Dash? Make it quick. I got a lot of bucking to do today.” “I was just wondering . . .” She swallowed. “Could I maybe–if it's not too much trouble, that is–could I maybe sit down with you and have a nice cry? Y-Y-You look like you're about to cry yourself, to be honest.” She removed her saddlebag and tossed it in front of Applejack. “I had Derpy make some muffins for us. Really good, too.” Applejack simply stared down at the saddlebag in front of her. “I bet I can eat more than you,” Rainbow Dash challenged. Applejack smiled. “Always lookin' to best me, aren't you, Dashie?” Rainbow Dash blushed. Applejack sighed. “All right, come on in. You might as well since you're already here.” The two of them began trotting towards the Apple family home. Applejack sighed. “Sorry about that back there, Rainbow Dash, getting' all emotional like that. It's uncalled for.” Rainbow Dash shook her head. “No, that's a good thing. Get it out of your system. It'll make you feel better.” Applejack smirked. “You're startin' to sound like Twilight.” Rainbow Dash chuckled. “Well, to be honest, I should know from firsthoof experience. A good cry has really made me feel better, even if it physically drains me and and all I want to do afterward is sleep.” Applejack yawned. “Mm, I know what you mean by that, sugarcube. A nap sounds lovely right 'bout now.” “We can nap after we get through these muffins.” “What kind are they, anyway?” Rainbow Dash smiled. “Apple cinnamon.” Author's Note I apologize for the tardiness of this chapter. I've been in a writing funk for the past month or so. Don't you just hate it when that happens? Chapter 5Applejack chuckled as Rainbow Dash let out a groan. She looked behind at the cyan blue Pegasus, whose back was resting against hers. “Ate too much, didn't you?” “Yeah,” Rainbow Dash replied. “Definitely not the best idea.” Her eyes met Applejack's. “Forty-seven muffins. You definitely win. Here,” she held up the last muffin, “you can have this one.” “Thanks.” She snatched up the muffin and popped it in her mouth. “Make that forty-eight. I stopped after only four.” Applejack chuckled once again. “Ah s'pose Ah never told ya Ah had the appetite of a full-grown stallion, huh?” “No, you never did.” “Ah guess I didn't win fairly, then, did Ah?” Rainbow Dash shrugged one shoulder. “I suppose not.” Her eyes shot open and she rolled over onto her bloated stomach to glare at Applejack. “You knew you were going to win all along, didn't you?” “S'pose Ah did.” “Ugh! You cheated!” She pointed an angry hoof at Applejack's nose. Applejack smirked. “Doesn't feel too good, now, does it?” Rainbow Dash's expression softened and she stared down at the floor. “No, it doesn't.” “Glad to hear it, sugarcube.” She patted Rainbow Dash's head. “Ah've had fun, but ya got to leave now. Ah've still got some chores that need to be done around the house.” She pressed her head against Rainbow Dash's back and began pushing her towards the door. They stopped upon reaching the entrance and Applejack waved her away. “So, go on. Shoo!” “Oh, all right. I'm going. Maybe the flight home will give me a chance to lose this extra poundage.” “Or rather, don't. I kind of like it.” Rainbow Dash gave her own an odd look. “Um . . . okay. . . . See ya, Applejack!” She took off with Applejack waving goodbye to her on her porch. *** Twilight sat at her reading table, flipping through the pages of Spike's diary back and forth, back and forth. She groaned and sat up straight. This position wasn't doing her back or neck any favors. She would need to go for reading in bed. The pillows could serve as support for her upper back and neck, at least until they got eased off. She let out a soft moan as she enveloped herself in the warmth of her bedsheets. She had to admit that reading in bed, while it did make her drowsy, was a lot better than sitting at the reading table. It was more comfortable, more relaxing, which meant less stress on her neck and back. Propping the book up with her lgs, she used her pillow to levitate her head. She sighed in contentment as she turned a page in Spike's diary. Maybe if she was lucky, she'd find something that would clue her in as to why he'd killed himself. Even if she didn't find anything of the like, it would still be fun to read about what he'd written in his diary, even though a part of her felt bad for having done so in the first part. When she thought about it, she supposed that the others were right. What right did she have to invade his personal privacy, in spite of the fact that he was dead? She didn't have any right to do so, despite that, as Applejack had said, she was practically his mother. She figured that it made sense to start from the beginning. She turned the pages until she was at the very first entry that he'd written in his journal. She smiled as she recalled that she'd gotten the journal as a birthday present for him one year, something that he had just perceived as just another book. She'd explained to him that he could write in it whenever he wasn't talking to her about something. She hadn't expected him to actually write anything in it. After all, he hadn't written anything unless she ordered him to. She wasn't surprised at all that most of his entries were about his crush on Rarity, though she was surprised to find that he had written quite a large quantity of entries on Rarity's sister, Sweetie Belle. She blushed at the thought of him secretly having a crush on her. She couldn't deny the fact that the two of them made an adorable couple. She remembered the two of them dancing together at Shining and Cadence's wedding, and how cute the two of them looked. She wasn't sure how long she spent reading the journal. She was startled to find the sun rising when she finally closed the book. She let out a yawn and stretched. Time to get some rest. *** Rarity let out a bored sigh, staring out the window at the residents of Ponyville going about their business throughout the town square. She had no orders to do. She hated days like this. She didn't know what to do with herself on days in which she had no work to do. Fashion was her life and a day without it was tedious and boring. While she would have loved to spend the day with Sweetie Belle, she was out with her Crusader friends on another one of their wild and crazy adventures. She looked across the room at her bookshelf. There were plenty of books that she hadn't read yet. She recalled that she'd borrowed them from Twilight a few weeks back and she had yet to read them. Since Twilight freely lent them to her friends and other residents of Ponyville, there was no return date. This was good for Rainbow Dash since she had a tendency to not return the books that she borrowed. She would have liked to sit down and read a good book or two, but with how depressed she was, she wouldn't be able to concentrate on what she was reading. During times like these, she found her escape in her beverages. She sat down on her bed once she'd reached her bedroom. Reaching underneath the bed, she pulled out a six-pack of bottled cider. Her own private stash. Since Sweetie Belle wasn't allowed to be in her room unless permitted, there was no risk of her little sister finding her secret stash. As long as Sweetie Belle stayed out of her room, her secret love of alcoholic beverages was safe. She took the pack downstairs to the kitchen. Why not enjoy something to eat while she did her drinking? Maybe some buttered rolls. So what if they were fattening and would cause her to bloat? At this point, she didn't really care. While the rolls were in the oven baking, she busied herself with enjoying her drink. She glanced out the kitchen, watching customers come and go at Sugarcube Corner. She took another swig of the cider, stumbling backward and falling down on her rump. She giggled to herself. “Whoops,” she mumbled, getting up. She winced as the alcohol burned her throat and made her eyes water. She took a few deep breaths. Ah, that was better. By now, she had gotten used to the side effects of alcohol on her body and had figured out how to overcome them. She once again stumbled backwards, running into the cabinet that held the good dishes. Shattered glass and china fell to the floor. She simply cackled at this. It felt good to laugh. It was no wonder Pinkie Pie was going around trying to make everypony smile. Laughing was helping her at the moment, greatly in fact. “I should probably sit down,” she decided. She set the remaining five bottles of cider on the kitchen table and pulled out a chair with her magic, hopping up and sitting down. She fiddled with the half-empty bottle of cider with her hooves, the liquid audibly sloshing within. She took another swig, licking her lips afterwards. Four bottles of cider later, she was starting to have trouble keeping her eyes open. Continually, her eyes drooped, only for her to snap them back open almost instantly. She let out a yawn. What did she suddenly feel so tired? She supposed that she shoudln't have been surprised about this. Lately, it seemed that she was tired all the time, and then when she would go to bed at night, she couldn't get to sleep. What was wrong with her? Even Sweetie Belle had noticed how tired she was when she would make stupid mistakes like pouring orange juice instead of milk into her cereal. She smiled to herself, recalling how her little sister would ask her constantly if she was all right. The two of them had grown so much in their relationship that nopony would ever think that at one time they were bitter enemies. She let out another yawn and finally gave in. Her head fell and she allowed sleep to take her over. *** “Rarity, I'm home,” Sweetie Belle called, stepping in the Boutique. When she received no response, she called, “Rarity?!” She strained her ears to see if she could hear her sister's response. Maybe she was busy working and couldn't hear her. She was about to call out again when something foul hit her nostrils. Was that smoke she smelled? She took another whiff of the air just to make sure. Her eyes widened at the realization that it was indeed smoke that she was smelling. She allowed her nose to lead her to the source of the smoke–the kitchen. Opening up the door, she saw her sister seated at the kitchen table, passed out. Meanwhile, the stove was on fire. The room itself was so full of smoke that it was hard to see and trying to see properly did nothing but water her eyes. She coughed and held her breath, trying her best not to inhale the smoke. As Cheerilee had taught her, she stayed low to the floor. She crawled across the room to where Rarity was. She would never be able to carry Rarity out of the burning inferno by herself. The most she could do was drag her out. Thankfully, the kitchen wasn't on the second story, so there was no need to worry about the stairs. Gently, she took Rarity by the scruff of her neck and began dragging her to the door. The fire was stationed mostly at the stove, but it was spreading, and quickly. If she wanted to get out alive, she needed to get her rear end in gear and run as fast as possible. She wasn't about to attempt to heave Rarity onto her back and carry her out that way. Her bigger sister was more than twice her weight. She'd never be able to get out without breaking her back. But dragging her was tedious and she maybe wouldn't get out without the flames reaching the door before she did. She let out a groan of frustration. What in Equestria was she supposed to do?! She could do nothing but pray for a miracle. She jumped, the door suddenly bursting open as a team of firefighters rushed in and began fighting the flames with a hose. One of them grabbed Rarity and Sweetie Belle herself and took off towards the front door. It happened so fast that Sweetie Belle was having trouble figuring out exactly what had happened. Within minutes, the fire had been taken care of and Sweetie Belle was using an oxygen mask to help with her breathing. Despite that she had only been in the room for a relatively short period of time, the toxins from the smoke and flames still could have physically damaged her. She didn't realize how much she appreciated fresh, clean air until she was within the hellish room. She looked over where some doctors were attempting to revive Rarity. She was worried about her big sister. She didn't know how long Rarity had been in the room with the fire. Worst yet, she didn't know whether or not her sister was even alive. She hadn't exactly bothered to check if Rarity had been breathing. The only thing that she'd known was that her sister was unconscious in the middle of a fire and that she needed to get her sister out of the room and outside alive. She was still in the dark as to how the fire department knew about the fire. Since Sugarcube Corner was within the proximity of the Carousel Boutique, she figured that the Cakes must have discovered the fire and sent Pinkie to alert the fire department. That was the only conclusion that she could draw, although she supposed that the fire had attracted the attention of other residents of Ponyville and they had banded together to save the Boutique. Once she got her breathing under control, she set the oxygen mask aside and walked over to her sister. It came as no surprise to her that Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and the rest of Rarity's friends had come to see if Rarity was all right. Thankfully, they made a path for her as she came forward. She bent forward until she and Rarity were nose to nose, studying her. She couldn't be sure, but she couldn't have been the only one holding her breath, waiting, hoping, praying that Rarity would show some sign of life, even something as small as a tail twitch. A collective sigh of relief escaped the group when Rarity's eyes fluttered open, though her eyes looked bloodshot. Sweetie Belle dismissed this as nothing more than lack of sleep and enveloped her sister in a bear hug. Though weary, Rarity reached down and affectionately petted her little sister's mane. Before she could get a word out, an oxygen mask was slapped onto her muzzle. She was about to argue before she realized that her throat felt as if she'd eaten a whole bag of ash. They could have warned her at least, but nonetheless, she was grateful for the fresh oxygen. “Are you all right, miss?” a stallion asked, putting a hoof on her back. She nodded her head. There was no point in trying to talk. With the oxygen mask over her mouth, she doubted that anypony would be able to understand her. She closed her eyes and allowed her breathing to get back to normal. The group said their goodbyres and went their separate ways, leaving Rarity, Sweetie Belle, and the paramedics alone. Sweetie Belle let out a sigh of relief, giving her sister yet another tight hug. “I'm so glad you're all right.” Rarity pushed her away and glared down at her. “What in Equestria were you thinking, barging in the room like that?” Sweetie Belle frowned. “I couldn't just leave you in there to die. What was I supposed to do, wait for the fire department to get here?” Rarity sighed and pulled Sweetie Belle, smiling when her little sister snuggled against her chest. She resumed petting Sweetie's mane. “I'm just glad that you're all right.” She frowned and let out a dejected sigh. “So much for the rolls.” “Is that what caused the fire?” Sweetie Belle looked up at her big sister. Rarity nodded. “I suppose so. I think what happened was I fell asleep.” She shook her head. “I'm not sure how, though.” “Maybe you haven't been getting enough sleep. You've been complaining that you're tired lately.” “Have I?” She looked down at her little sister. “You have. Maybe there's a spell you can use to induce sleeping.” “Hmm.” She tapped her chin. “Perhaps some warm milk would do the trick.” She smiled. “I remember how much I loved it when I was your age.” She turned to look over at their home. “I just hope the kitchen hasn't been permanently destroyed. If we're lucky, we'll just need to replace the stove.” “You seem to be obsessed with Spike lately too,” Sweetie Belle pointed out, “more so than Twilight.” Rarity eyed her little sister and raised an eyebrow. “How do you mean?” “You talk about him in your sleep. Do you dream about him?” Rarity nodded. “Most of the time, yes. I wonder if Twilight dreams about him as well.” “I'm sure she does.” “We should go back inside now.” She watched the paramedics walk off and led Sweetie Belle back inside the Boutique. *** Sweetie Belle cringed visibly upon tasting the warm milk. “Ugh! This tastes worse than regular milk!” She glanced up at her older sister. “How do you drink this stuff?” “With a little bit of honey, of course,” Rarity replied, adding a few spoonfuls of the stuff to her glass and stirring it. She looked back at her little sister. “Would you care to try some?” “Anything if it makes the milk taste better.” She extended her glass with her magic and watched Rarity drop in a few spoonfuls of honey and stir it around with her own magic. She took a small sip this time around and smiled to herself. “Mm! Much better!” “I thought so.” She took a drink of her own warm, sweetened milk, licking her lips afterward. “It's an acquired taste, really. You get used to the taste after a while.” Sweetie Belle said nothing to this, instead opting to take another drink from her glass. She wobbled back and forth, the warm, sweet milk beginning to take effect on her. “Mm. Getting sleepy . . .” Rarity smiled. “Good to know.” Another swig of milk was consumed. “Mmm! I'm starting to get sleepy myself. . . .” She wobbled herself, leaning against Sweetie Belle, causing them both to stumble and fall to the floor. She smiled at Sweetie Belle and the two of them shared a laugh. Shortly after their drinks were finished off, the two found themselves having a hard time getting up the stairs without stumbling and bumping into each other. They laughed it off. They eventually reached Sweetie Belle's room. Rarity tucked her in and kissed her good night before venturing off to her own room. Hopefully, tonight would be a better night than the previous nights. As long as Spike was in her dreams, any night was a good one. Chapter 6Chapter 6 Rarity let out a yawn as she made her way downstairs to the kitchen. She smiled wearily, spotting Sweetie Belle happily eating her cereal. With the vast quantity of bits that she made from her work, Rarity had been able to get the kitchen reparied in no time, and the constructio works had done it at half the cost as a show of their gratitude towards her for fixing up their uniforms. She made her way over to the coffee pot and fixed herself a mug. She was grateful that Sweetie Belle had been sure to make a new pot and get it heated up before starting on her breakfast. She looked back at Sweetie Belle and frowned. Her little filly was growing up. The two of them didn't talk much as the morning progressed. Rarity guessed that Sweetie Belle's silence had something to do over the fact that she was still somewhat traumatized over the events that had occurred two weeks ago. The poor filly was still having nightmares. Rarity wished that she could do something for her little sister to make her feel better, but she wasn't about to escort her to Twilight's and request that her egghead friend initiate a therapy session. That certainly wouldn't make her feel better, not in the least bit. They went their separate ways after that. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo came to pick up Sweetie Belle and they were off, with Sweetie Belle promising Rarity that she'd be careful and not to get into too much mischief. Once she saw that Sweetie Belle was off, Rarity turned back into the Boutique and approached the room where she did all of her work in. Mannequins went about the room, with the floor decorated in ribbons, sequins, bits of string, and all manner of ornaments and various gemstones and rubies. As usual, her work room wa a complete and total mess, and that was just the way she liked it. Had Applejack or Twilight been here, they would have fussed about the mess and busied themselves with trying to tidy up the room, just like Sweetie Belle had. It made sense, really. With all of her things neat and organized, it would make things easier to find. That had probably been why she couldn't find her ribbon that one day when Twilight was stressing about her report to Princess Celestia, because her work room was a pigsty. If other ponies could see the way she kept her work room, they'd no longer think of her as the prim and proper pony that she portrayed herself as. But, it was the environment that she was most comfortable with. She let out a dejected sigh, scanning the room. What was wrong with her? Ever since Spike had died, she hadn't felt like doing any work? Were her friends feeling this way too? Or, was she the only one since the pain and guilt that was eating away at her made it hard for her to concentrate on her work, much less get motivated to do any? She didn't know and she was too depressed to find out. She lifted her mug to her mouth to take a sip in hopes that it would make her feel better, but only cringed and spat out the beverage when she discovered that it'd turned cold. She could easily reheat it in the microwave, but she dismissed this action and simply poured the rest down the sink. Coffee was bad for one's teeth, anyway. She collapsed on her bed, staring up at the ceiling, her hooves crossed at her stomach. She did nothing but stare up at the ceiling. Ugh! She flailed her hooves in frustration. What had her life become?! Before Spike had died, she had been a very upstanding pony in the community, talking with others, getting clients, designing clothes for them, and really enjoying her life. Now, with Spike gone, all she could think about was him and how her rejection of him had led to his demise. Maybe coming clean would make her feel better. She had done that, sort of, with Twilight not too long ago. Then again, she had proposed it as nothing more than a hypotetical question. Her life had become dull and boring and she couldn't stand it! She thought that maybe if she just tried designing again, it would renew the happiness in her life, but any time she did try it, she just felt a lakc of energy, inspiration, and motivation. Designing had become a chore for her, not unlike before where she had fun doing it. She turned on her side, turning her attention to her dresser that was sitting across from her bed. She figured that she might as well get out of her pajamas and start her day. But that might getting up and actually doing something, and she didn't feel like doing anything, much less getting up. If she could, she would just lie in bed all day, surrounded by the warmth of her covers. She couldn't do that, though. She had a business to run and friends to interact with. Plus, she had a younger sibling to take care of. But with no motivation and her depression doing nothing but weighing her down, there was only so much that she could force herself to do. She simply couldn't find a good reason to get out of bed in the morning. That in itself was downright depressing. Sighing dejectedly, she finally managed to convince herself to get out of bed. She did so rather slowly, just to see how it would affect her mood and mental state. She allowed a small smile to come across her face. This wasn't so hard. So far, so good. Somehow, she managed to get downstairs and outside. She couldn't bring herself to do any work today. Maybe tomorrow she'd try getting some work done. She figured that as long as she was outside, she might as well go see how Twilight was doing. The poor dear was probably faring worse than she was in terms of Spike's passing. When she arrived at the Golden Oaks Library, she spotted a young filly walking out with one of Spike's teddy bears. That was odd. Why in Equestira would that young filly have something that belonged to Spike? She certainly wasn't going to find the answer just standing around. She proceeded to enter the library and made her way upstairs to Twilight's bedroom. She stopped and took a long around. There were several boxes piled up in the room, so much so that it took her a while to actually spot Twilight. There were so many boxes that she didn't see how Twilight was able to manuever around the room. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. She cleared a throat and swallowed a bit of saliva, noting that her throat felt dry, then tried again. “Twilight?” Said unicorn turned and gave her friend a weak smile. “Hi, Rarity. What brings you here?” Rarity glanced around once more, observing the various boxes. “Twilight, what is going on here?” “Oh. I'm getting rid of some of Spike's things. With him gone, it's become too painful to hold onto them.” She nodded her head towards one corner of the room. “The girls are helping me with the sorting and putting stuff away. You know, all of that junk.” Rarity looked at the corner specified and saw Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo all carefully going through Spike's things and putting them in the correct boxes. It was only now that she noticed that the boxes were labeled. For example, one box was labeled as “stuffed animals.” Another one was labeled as “books.” She walked over and looked through the latter. She smiled to herself. Most of the books were books intended for fillies Sweetie Belle's age. She remembered her mother and father reading her such books, and herself reading the same books to Sweetie Belle when she was little. She imagined that Twilight or Princess Celestia or whoever had raised Spike had done the same with him when he'd been a little bitty dragon, when he'd literally been a baby dragon, unable to talk or do any of the other things that he'd been able to do while living with Twilight. “Maybe we'll get our cutie marks in packing and sorting,” Scootaloo said excitedly to the other two fillies. “It's worth a hot,” Apple Bloom agreed, putting a small pillow in a box labeled “Miscellaneous.” “Would you mind helping out?” Twilight asked Rarity. “If you see something you'd like to have, just say so.” Rarity frowned as she began looking through the various items scattered on the floor. She started putting them in the boxes that they belonged in and said, “You're really comfortable just giving Spike's things away?” Twilight smiled weakly. “I know it's a bit harsh and radical, but these things just remind me of how much I miss him. It's much better to give them away to ponies who will cherish and take care of them rather than them serving as a painful reminder of what I've lost.” “So you're basically saying that these things have no sentimental value for you whatsoever.” “No, that's not what I'm saying. They do have value for me, but it's just that I feel it's time to move on with my life, stop living in the past and attempt to finally get over it.” Rarity blinked. “Twilight, darling, are you sure you're all right? You've hardly given yourself time to grieve. You know, bottling up your emotions like that isn't good for you. You should talk to someone about how you truly feel about what's happened. Stop hiding from the rest of us. You barely talked or showed any emotion at all at the get-together we had a few weeks ago.” Twilight smiled warmly at her friend. “Thank you, but I assure you, I'm fine.” Rarity sighed and put a blanket in the “Miscellaneous” box. “Whatever you say, Twilight. Whatever you say.” The three little fillies walked out with a little something of Spike's, a gesture from Twilight to show her gratitude for them helping her. Apple Bloom walked off with Spike's costume that he'd worn during one celebration of Nightmare Night. Sweetie Belle walked away with a photograph of Spike that she passionately kissed (this only served to confirm Twilight's suspicions that she and Spike had something more going on between them besides just being friends). Finally, Scootaloo walked away with a sack of marbles that Spike had played with when he was younger. When it came time for Rarity to pick something, she declined, stating that she wasn't comfortable taking Spike's personal belongings without his permission. Twilight persisted, encouraging Rarity to only choose one thing. It wasn't like she was stealing or anything. Rarity sighed and finally walked away with Spike's personal journal. As she did so, she noticed that Twilight appeared to be somewhat depressed by this. Perhaps Twilight felt a strong connection to the book more than the others, most likely because it was Spike's personal thoughts and feelings that were kept enclosed in the book. Therefore, the book was probably something of a sacred tome to Twilight. Nonetheless, Twilight thanked her for her help and sent her on her way. On her way back to the Boutique, Rarity jumped nearly ten feet in the air as Pinkie Pie leaped out of a nearby bush and stared at her. Rarity could do nothing but blink. “Pinkie Pie, what are you doing?” “This, silly,” Pinkie Pie replied, giving her a scroll. Rarity read it out loud. “You are invited to a small get-together this Saturday at noon. Don't tell Twilight.” She gave the scroll back to Pinkie Pie and blinked once more. “I'm confused. Why can't I tell Twilight?” “'Cause,” Pinkie Pie rolled her eyes, “silly, it's a surprise party for Twilight. I've noticed that Twilight been feeling really super down lately.” She puckered her lips and made a sad face, looking down at the ground. “So, I thought that the best way to cheer her up would to throw her a surprise party!” She leaped up in the air and cheered, balloons floating upwards and confetti raining down, both seeming to come out of nowhere. A warm smile came across Rarity's face. “Your kindness knows no bounds, Pinkie Pie.” In terms of kindness, Pinkie Pie gave Fluttershy a run for her money. “So you'll come/” Pinkie's smile seemed too big for her face. Rarity chuckled. “Of course, darling. What shall I bring?” “Well, me and Applejack have all of the food covered, so I guess the only thing you'll need to bring is yourself, and maybe a present or two.” Rarity raised an eyebrow in confusion. “Present?” “Of course, silly. What's a party without presents? Believe me, it'll make her feel better.” “Well, okay, if you say so, Pinkie.” “Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy are taking care of the decorations.” Rarity frowned. “What's the matter?” “Well,” Rarity replied, “I guess I'm feeling kind of useless. You all are doing something for the party, whereas I'm just attending.” “If you wanted to help out, why didn't you just say so, Rarity? You can help Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy with the decorations.” “Good. Cooking isn't really my strong suit.” She remembered the last time she'd tried cooking. “I'll see you on Saturday!” She gave Rarity a kiss on the cheek before speeding off like The Flash. A surprise party? This was great! This was just what Rarity needed to get her out of her funk. Then again, the party was for Twilight, not her. Nonetheless, the cheerful environment would hopefully be enough to get her out of her foul mood. Naturally, Sweetie Belle and her friends would be attending the party. It did seem rather cruel to leave them out of the party simply because they were younger. It was only fair that they get to join in. Because of her love for children, Pinkie Pie had probably already invited them. It wouldn't have surprised her, not in the least. But, wait. She had to get Twilight a present. She was certain that it wasn't a necessity, but she didn't want to arrive at the party empty-hooved. Knowing Twilight, she would just be happy with something as simple as a plain old book, but Rarity was smarter than that and knew her friend just as well as any of her other friends. She needed to get something better than a book, something not so superficial. But what? What? She tapped her chin in thought, but nothing was coming to her. Oh, well. The party wasn't until Saturday, at least a week from now. She had plenty of time to think of something to get Twilight in that amount of time. *** For the next few days, Rarity was busy helping Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy with the decorations. She designed them and the two pegasi used them as decorations. Meanwhile, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and the Cakes were baking and cooking their hooves off. Given that Twilight had pretty much isolated herself from the rest of Ponyville ever since Spike's death, keeping the party a secret from her turned out to be surprisingly easy, not that they needed to be secretive that much, anyway. All of the happenings for the party occurred within the confines of Sugarcube Corner. Transporting supplies, decorations, presents, and other necessities was quite easy. Of course, everypony in Ponyville was probably wondering what was going on at Sugarcube Corner. Within no time at all, a week had passed by and the party was set to begin. Since Sugarcube Corner was relatively close to the Carousel Boutique, Sweetie Belle and Rarity left at a quarter to twelve. The trip would only take them ten minutes, if not five at the most. Both of them had their presents in their saddlebags. Rarity had found Twilight the perfect present: a very large ruby that she had been saving for Spike's birthday. She figured that it would be better to give it to Twilight than save it to put on some dress that she was designing. She could always find a way around using the ruby. It wasn't exactly like there was a shortage of gemstones around Equestria. Everpony was already at the location of the party by the time the two mares arrived. They set their presents on the table that was already loaded with them, then joined the rest of their friends. “All right,” Applejack said, glancing around, “everypony here?” A series of nods met her question. 'Good. Now, somepony's gonna have to go and get Twi. Who's up for it?” “Well, I'm not doing anything,” Rarity spoke up. “I suppose I could go get her. The walk alone would do me some good.” She grimaced, realizing that she had put on a few pounds over the past few weeks, and this party certainly wasn't going to do her waistline any favors. Applejack smiled. “Thanks, Rarity. We'll be waiting for you. Remember to knock when you get here, that way the rest of us have time to hide and surprise her.” Rarity nodded. 'Right, then. I'm off. Wish me luck.” With a flick of her tail, she trotted out of the store and towards the Golden Oaks Library. *** “Come now, Twilight,” Rarity said, “you've got to get out of bed! The fresh air will do you some good.” She received nothing but a mumble as a response. She stomped her hoof in frustration. So much for getting Twilight to the party going smoothly. For the past fifteen minutes, she'd been attempting to get Twilight to get out of bed and go with her on a walk. Needless to say, she was beginning to get irritaed. She was about to resort to simply yanking Twilight out of bed with her magic and dragging her to their destination. Sadly, she wasn't as well skilled in magic as Twilight was, and so Twilight could easily counter her spell. “Oh, to Tartarus with it!” She stomped her hoof yet again and her horn glowed. Twilight let out a frightened yelp as she was suddenly lifted up into the air, a turquoise aura surrounding her. She was dragged through the air while Rarity trotted down the stairs and outside the library. She struggled to regain control of her body, but found this almost impossible with the tight grip that Rarity had on her with her magic. She would have to resort to other means. She let out a deep growl and shouted, “Rarity, stop!” The white mare did just that, and Twilight was instantly dropped to the ground. She let out a groan of pain before getting to her hooves and glaring at her friend. “Where in Equestria are you taking me?” Rarity smiled and put a hoof around Twilight, pulling her close into a hug. “I told you, darling, it's a surprise. Trust me, you're going to love it!” Twilight sighed and rolled her eyes. “All right, fine, I'll go. But it better be worth it.” Without another word to Rarity, she galloped ahead, only for Rarity to gallop faster. She gave no objection to this and simply allowed Rarity to lead them to their destination. Just as she'd been instructed to do, Rarity knocked on the door to Sugarcube Corner, loud enough for everypony inside to hear. When she received no response, she gently nudged the door open and led Twilight inside. Twilight blinked, attempting to let her eyes adjust to the darkness. “Why is it so dark in here?” It only became darker when Rarity closed the door. She was about to illuminate her horn to provide some light for them when suddenly the lights flickered on and all of her friends jumped out of their hiding spots, shouting in unison, “Surprise!” Twilight could do nothing but blink in confusion, sitting down on her haunches and glancing around the room. She had to admit that the decorations were quite lovely. She assumed that Rarity must have done them. But, still, that didn't answer her question as to why they were all throwing a surprise party for her. She tapped her chin in thought, but came to no rational conclusions. This had to be the work of Pinkamenia Diane Pie. As if on cue, Pinkie Pie came bouncing into view, smiling, her eyes seeming to bulge out of her skull. “Surprise, Twilight! Here you go!” She gave Twilight a slice of cake. Instead of eating it, Twilight simply stared down at it before glancing up. “I don't understand. What's going on here?” “Well,” Applejack spoke up, “Pinkie Pie and the rest of us saw you were feeling a little down, so we threw this party together in hopes that it might raise your spirits a bit.” Twilight gave a grateful smile. “Aww, you guys didn't have to do that.” “To be honest,” Rainbow Dash said, “I think all of us have been feeling pretty depressed lately.” She shook her head. “It really hard getting over something like one of your friends committing suicide.” Twilight nodded in agreement. “You're right, Rainbow Dash. It's going to take some time to heal, maybe even years. You can't expect to get over something like this overnight.” “That's enough gloom,” Applejack said. “That's right,” Pinkie Pie agreed enthusiastically. “Let's party!!” This walked over to a record player and music suddenly filled the room. She grabbed Rainbow Dash and the two of them began dancing together, while the others simply mingled and made small talk. Fluttershy and Applejack went to get some punch and try out a few snacks while Twilight and Rarity talked about how the other was doing with coping with Spike's death. Apparently Applejack overheard this conversation because she suddenly butted in between the two of them, glowering. “No, no, no! No talking about Spike! No depressin' stuff of any kind! Here, have some fritters!” She stuffed a couple of apple fritters into their mouths and grinned. “There! Feelin' better already, aren't ya?” In spite of herself, Twilight smiled. She understood what Applejack was trying to do. She was trying to create a happy, warm environment. It wasn't good to be depressed all the time. Now was not a time for reflecting on the past and the pain that all of them were going through. Now was a time for celebration, for joy and laughter. It was the only way that any of them were going to get over their ordeal. Then again, talking about it was also another way that they could get over it. But, like she had said before, it would take some time, no matter how much talking and laughter they shared with each other. The afternoon was spent eating, drinking, talking, laughing, telling stories, music and dancing, and talking of memories past. They avoided the topic of Spike and his demise at all costs. It finally came to the presents. They gathered in a circle, each with their presents and Twilight in the center. One by one, she opened their gifts with glee, although she did tell them that didn't have to go through the trouble of getting her something. Their presence and the party was more than enough. Nonetheless, she did thank them and was impressed wih some of the gifts. For example, Rainbow Dash had gotten her an hourglass that, instead of sand, had some rainbow colored liquid inside. She guessed that the liquid was the same kind that was used to make the rainbows. It finally came to the last present. This one didn't have a name tag, so there was no way of telling who it was from. Twilight simply assumed that it was from all of her friends, doubly so when the present was revealed to be . . . “It's . . . a book?” she guessed, still unsure of what the gift was. Sweetie Belle chuckled. “You gotta open it first, Twilight,” she declared. “Look inside. The rest of you do the same.” She gestured for everypony else to get closer, huddling them all close together so they could get a clear view of what was on the first page. Twilight was speechless by what she saw. “A photo album? This is so awesome, you guys! Thank you so much!” She patted everypony on the head and hugged them closely with one hoof. “Don't look at me, I didn't do this,” Rainbow Dash said, putting her hooves out in front of her. “I was busy all day yesterday gathering stuff for this party.” “Yeah, me neither,” Applejack added. “I was busy getting food.” Twilight looked at them, confused. “You mean, you guys didn’t make this together?" she asked, still wondering what was going on. “Well,” Sweetie Belle spoke up, “I don't mean to brag, but . . .” Her gaze fell to the floor as she idly kicked her hoof against the floor. She glanced up at Twilight once more with a somewhat sheepish grin. “I did it! I made it all by myself for everypony, especially you, Twilight.” She was quite prideful and satisfied with how the book had turned out. “Really?” Twilight asked, staring at the filly in surprise. “That’s really . . . wow! Thank you.” She felt like picking Sweetie Belle up and hugging her until the filly was breathless, but instead pulled her relatively close into a headlock with one hoof and began ruffling her mane “You little bundle of fur, how did you do this?” she asked, hugging Sweetie Belle even closer. “Well, it wasn’t that hard, really,” Sweetie Belle declared, momentarily pulling away from Twilight’s grip for a breath of air. “I mean, I just took some pictures of everypony and put them in the little picture slot things.” “I meant more like, what made you think of this?” Twilight asked, letting go of Sweetie Belle completely and starting to look at the next page. “Oh,” Sweetie Belle replied, now understanding. “Well, everypony was thinking of stuff to do for you and I wanted to do something nopony else would.” She couldn’t help but be a little proud; she rarely had the chance to prove herself to everypony, let alone Rarity. “Sweetie Belle, this is really good,” Rarity said, looking over a page entirely dedicated to her, Sweetie Belle, Applejack, and Apple Bloom. “Aren’t there any of me and my Scootaloo in here?” Rainbow Dash asked Sweetie Belle, quickly searching through the pages. “Here's one. Aww, you even put a little heart frame around it.” “Yeah,” Sweetie Belle said. “Well, I wanted to do something special for all of you, but, remember, it’s still Twilight’s.” She quickly closed the photo album and handed it back to Twilight, who took it gratefully, before Rainbow Dash was finished looking at it. “Wow, Sweetie Belle, that was really thoughtful of you,” Twilight said. “Yeah,” Pinkie Pie agreed. “I never would have been able to think of that all on my own.” For the next few minutes, the group simply sat and looked through the photo album with Twilight. At long last, the group got up and helped the Cakes and Pinkie Pie clean up the mess they made, despite the protests from the Cakes, who said that they didn't need to help. The group insisted that they help out, seeing as how they had made the mess. Eventually, the Cakes gave up trying to reason with them and allowed them to help out with the dishes. It was late afternoon by the time the group left. As she walked, Twilight looked through the photo album. “Let's see,” she mused as she walked, slowly flipping through the pages, observing each one carefully. “These are of me. These are Applejack’s and Ranbow Dash's. And here it is, Spike's own personal page.” She scanned over the pictures of her number one assistant. Gosh, these are really good! It even seems like Sweetie Belle worked harder making Spike's pictures than everypony else’s. I still can’t believe she’d do something like this for me, especially by herself. She let out a groan of pain, bumping into the front door to her home. She lifted a hoof to rub at her nose. The photo album falling to the ground, the sudden disruption in her concentration causing her magic to come to an abrupt halt. Once the pain wore away, she picked up the photo album with her magic went again and walked in her home. She'd need to put it in a special place. She figured that the best place to put it was by her bed. She opened the drawer to her beside table and gently set the photo album inside before closing it. She yawned, stretching her jaw muscles and allowing fresh oxygen to seep into her lungs. All of that punch and food had made her tired. A full belly tended to do that. A nap would be lovely. There was no debating it. Without thinking about it, she pulled back her covers and climbed into bed. Chapter 7Chapter 7 Not too long after the party, Rarity went to TwIlight's, asking if she could borrow the photo album that Sweetie Belle had made her. Thankfully, Twilight had no problems with letting her borrow it, especially since it was her sister who had made it in the first place. Later that evening, with a glass of sweet tea, Rarity sat in bed looking through the album. Like Twilight, she was impressed by how much effort her sister had put into Spike's page. Just like Twilight, she was more than convinced that her little sister and Spike had a thing for each other. This brought forth thoughts of what would have happened had Spike not killed himself and if her little sister had admitted her feelings for the little dragon. Maybe things would have turned out differently. If she had rejected him, then common sense told her that her little sister would have confessed her feelings for him and the two of them may have started dating and become mates. She actually approved of the idea. Now that he was gone, that idea would never see fruition. By now her little sister was in bed. The two of them had spent the rest of the day together after the party, Rarity complimenting her on a job well done in terms of how well the photo album had turned out. Even now, she was still impressed with the various angles and the clarity that the pictures were shot in. Her little sister may just have found her calling in photography. Or her calling may have been in singing. She was very good at that. Rarity knew that from personal experience. She chuckled, knowing that her little sister didn't realize that Rarity could clearly hear her singing in the shower. It was well past midnight by the time she closed the photo album and put it away. Sighing, she lied down, pulling her covers up to her neck and turning on her side to go to sleep, making sure that she had her mask on before finally drifting off to sleep. *** “No, this can’t be happening!” Spike yelled as he watched something dark surround Rarity like a whirlwind. It was his nightmare. Everything the darkness touched had turned into a twilight reality of what was once their home. The trees were becoming dead and hard as stone as the grass was replaced with a cold rough terrain. The sun was gone and replaced with a gray and stormy sky so that not even the stars and moon were visible. Their home had become a wasteland, even worse; there was no sign of everypony else anywhere. It was just Rarity, Spike, and the dark. Rarity suddenly collapsed to the ground in front of him. “Rarity! Rarity, hang on, I’m here. Just hang on . . .” Spike felt as if he could stand up and resist the gusts of wind coming out of nowhere but only ended up falling on Rarity in attempting to do so. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?” Spike asked as he slowly got back to his feet. Rarity twitched slightly and began to get up slowly as well. “Spike . . ., I . . . I’m sorry, but . . . you did this . . .” the mare mumbled under her breath as she stared at the ground. Spike felt something sharp hit him in the chest but couldn’t see what it was; it was an invisible pain coming from within him. He began to breathe heavily, trying to gasp for air as Rarity began to hold his hand tight. “Spike, what’s wrong? Is your chest hurting? Please, tell me. Why? Why is your chest hurting?” To Spike, Rarity looked bizarre. Her face kept distorting in weird ways as she talked to Spike. “I can't tell you, Rarity,” Spike whispered “Why?” Rarity replied in a soft tone “Are you afraid? Are you afraid of me?” “No, I’m not afraid of you, but I . . . I . . .” Spike was stopped by Rarity, who held Spike's hand tight, rather painfully. Rarity looked deeply at him and whispered, “Spike, do . . . do you love me?” in his ear, which caused Spike to shiver. She smiled. “I think I know what’s wrong now.” She pointed at Spike’s chest. “Your chest is hurting, Spike. Do you know why?” Spike looked down at his chest and was terrified at what he saw happening. His chest was bleeding slowly and his purple skin was becoming stained. What happened next freaked him out even more; Rarity lunged at Spike and sunk her canine teeth deep into his shoulder. After a few seconds, she pulled away and began licking the wounds “Do you still love me?” Rarity said as a lightning bolt scorched the sky. When the lightning stopped, Spike noticed Rarity was gone and the trees and sky were normal. *** Rarity bolted up in bed, gripping her head in her hooves, breathing heavily. Ugh! Where had that come from? Surely it couldn't be due to her guilt over Spike's death, could it? Oh, why was she feeling so guilty about this?! Twilight herself had said that it wasn't her fault that Spike had killed himself. It made no logical sense whatsoever. If she wasn't at fault for Spike's demise, then she shouldn't have been feeling guilty regarding it. Yet, here she was, having constant nightmares about him dying and her being the pony behind it all. What was wrong with her?! Now, back to sleep, she thought as he fluffed his pillow. I don't even need to be worrying about this at the moment. A dream like that is best forgotten, I don’t need that keeping me down when I have something more important to worry about. This will all be fixed soon enough and then I can live normally for a change. Still, I have a funny feeling about all of it. Ahh, what am I saying! I need to sleep, that’s all. Just think of . . . sheep! Or something else that is just as boring. Okay, let’s try grass; it’s green and smooth and it tastes like wet plastic. It's soft just like him. Resting her head on her pillow with her eyes cast upward towards the ceiling and her hooves folded on her stomach, she recalled the memory of Spike kissing her. Unfortunately, this did nothing but send a tingle throughout her entire body. Not only that, but it also woke her up completely. Great, as if I couldn’t sleep already I definitely can’t now. Why is this keeping me up? It was only a dream, and then it was only a kiss, a kiss with Spike, that is. A kiss with Spike. Oh, jeez, this is going to be a long night and an even longer morning. Damn it all! She slammed a hoof down on her bed in frustration. This was ridiculous! Fed up, she got out of bed and went to the bathroom. Opening up the medicine cabinet, she scanned the shelves that held various bottles of medicine. She had the medicine cabinet high enough to where Sweetie Belle couldn't reach it, for fear that her little sister would overdose. She shook her head at this. Sweetie Belle was smarter than that. Then again, it was because of Sweetie Belle that she and her friends got in so much trouble. Sad as it was to say, her little sister wasn't too bright when it came to planning things out and thinking ahead. She hovered a bottle of pills over to her and examined it. Sleeping tablets, just what she needed. She fetched a glass from the kitchen and took the prescribed number of pills with some water. It would take a while for the effect of the medicine to kick in. Though, she found it absurd that she was having to resort to taking pills just to get a good night's rest. She just hoped that she didn't become addicted to them. Some medicines, she'd been told, could be habit-forming, so she had to be extra careful not to become dependent on the drugs. Otherwise, she'd be in worse shape than she already was. It was back to bed for her after she exited the bathroom. She collapsed on her bed, putting her mask back over her face, and turning on her side to go to sleep. Hopefully, the medicine would ensure that she had a more peaceful night than she had been having as of late. *** Rarity's life quickly fell into a dull routine. Instead of working or going out and spending time with her friends, she would sit in her room and look through Sweetie Belle's photo album, downing chocolates and cartons of ice cream, along with a healthy dose of alcohol. At this point, she didn't much care for how big her stomach got. She was too depressed to care. She quickly came to the realization that she needed to be with him, to receive some closure from this whole hellish experience. She couldn't be with him, no matter how much she wanted it. She could never be do that to Sweetie Belle. The poor filly had already been through enough, losing one of her closest friends. To lose her big sister would be detrimental. No, she could never do that to Sweetie Belle. Where was she supposed to go? Sure, one of her friends would gladly take her in. Given that she was such good friends with Apple Bloom, and the Apples had embraced Pinkie Pie so warmly, there was little to no doubt in her mind that Applejack would have no problems whatsoever with taking Sweetie Belle in. Even if that were to happen, Rarity just couldn't bring herself to do something like that, especially when she and her little sister were on such good terms. Oh, but the urge to fight the idea was becoming harder and harder as the days wore on. She was constantly going through the pros and cons in her head, day after day. On the one hoof, she would no longer have to suffer through any pain or misery. She would finally be free from the heartache, all of the pain and mental anguish that she was going through. On the other hoof, to find out her big sister was dead at such a young age would kill Sweetie Belle. Rarity was actually surprised that her little sister was handling Spike's death better than she was. Then again, that was probably because Sweetie Belle hadn't been the one to find him dead, nor was she the reason why he had killed himself. Daily, she would have a mental battle with her rational side and her emotional side. Her rational side said, “No, you can't do that to poor Sweetie Belle, not after all you two have been through. Your relationship with her is just getting good. Why put her through the same pain and anguish that you're in right now just because you see no other way out?” Whereas her emotional side said, “Oh, it's okay, Rarity. She'll find somewhere else to live. It's not like she has no where else to go. Besides, you're in such pain. Nothing is working for you. You've tried eating your feelings. You've tried numbing your feelings with alcohol. What else is there? Why go through all this mental and emotional tortue day in and day out? Why not end it all now so that you can be with Spike again and finally end your terrine? She went back and forth, back and forth, always with indecision. It was a battle that she just couldn't win, no matter which side she chose. She wanted to be free of the pain that she was going through, but she could never bring herself to commit suicide just to free herself, thus putting Sweetie Belle in a hard position about where she would go and who would take care of her. She finally decided to buck up and go see if Applejack could help her. Being the Element of Honesty, the farm pony would give her a straight answer as to what she should do about her dilemma. Applejack was busy bucking trees when she arrived at Sweet Apple Acres. Seeing that her friend was busy, she contemplated simply turning around and coming back at a later time when Applejack wasn't so busy. Just as she was turning, she heard Applejack bellow out, “Howdy, Rarity! What are you doing here?!” There was no backing out now. Putting on a brave face, she turned and walked up to the farm pony. “What brings you here?” Applejack repeated. Rarity sighed and decided to just go ahead and not pull any punches. “I'm in a bad place, Applejack.” Applejack blinked. “Do what?” “I don't know what to do. I'm feeling really terrible about myself. No matter what, I'm constantly feeling guilty about Spike's passing.” “Do ya believe ya had something to do with it?” Rarity nodded. “Indeed, I do. I dream about it. I'm constantly thinking about it. Oh!” She stomped her hoof in frustration. “I'm so stressed and depressed that I think I might do something drastic.” It was at this point that Applejack started getting worried. “Sugarcube, Ah recommend ya go see Twilight. These negative thoughts aren't good for ya to be havin'. A good talking to Twilight might do ya some good. She's been helpin' the rest of us out with copin' with this sort of thing. It really gives you a good feeling afterwards.” Her face became very serious. “Yer not thinkin' of suicide, are ya?” She couldn't help it. She broke down in tears and fell down at Applejack's hooves, beginning to hyperventilate. She was so upset that she barely felt Applejack pull her into a tight hug. She began to calm down when Applejack began to rub her back affectionately. “Oh, sugarcube,” Applejack spoke softly. “Ah know what yer going through. Believe me, we all feel a little guilty about him passing away. Ah think that deep down, we all knew that something was bothering him, but none of us bothered to talk to him about it. So, in a way, we're all a little guilty.” “But you're not the reason why he killed himself.” “Honey, does this have anything to do with you rejecting him?” Slowly, Rarity nodded. “You know how he is. He has severe self-esteem issues. Me rejecting him probably was what did him in. You know how much he adored me.” She shook her head, burying her face in Applejack's chest. “Maybe he felt like nothing in his life was going right, so I guess he figured that there was no point in living.” Applejack gave a soft chuckle. “He adored all of us, Rarity, not just you. He practically worshipped the ground that Twilight walked on. You couldn't separate that boy from her hip even with a spatula. The two of them were pretty much inseparable. Anypony would have a hard time getting them to spend any amount o' time away from each other.” “I . . . I suppose you're right.” Sighing, she pulled away from Applejack. “Like Ah said, Ah think it'd be a good idea if you talked to Twilight. Ya clearly have some questions that need answerin'. Maybe she's the key to ya getting the answers you need.” For the first time in their whole confrontation, Rarity smiled. Sure, it was a small one, but it was a smile nonetheless. “Thank you, Applejack. I just might do that.” Applejack smiled back. “Anytime, partner. Now,” she turned Rarity around and patted her rump, “get goin', would ya? I got some more trees to buck.” “R-Right,” Rarity replied, feeling slightly uncomfortable that Applejack had actually touched her plot. Even so, she shrugged it off and made her way towards Ponyville. *** “How have you been doing?” Rarity asked Twilight upon entering the library. “I've been doing better,” Twilight stated. She closed the door and followed Rarity to the kitchen. She went ahead and poured two cups of sweet tea, giving one to Rarity. “What about you?” She took a sip. “How have you been?” Rarity shook her head. “Not so good, Twilight.” She groaned and held her head in her hooves. “I feel like I'm going insane from delusion or depression or . . . I don't know what. I tried talking to Applejack and she said I should talk to you.” Twilight smiled. “I have been able to help the others in coping with what's happened recently.” She sighed and looked down, her face suddenly falling. “It's hard to believe it's been a month since it happened.” “But it feels like a year.” Twilight nodded in agreement. “That's true. Thankfully, I've been able to keep my mind off it by reading and keeping up with my studies.” Rarity said nothing to this, choosing instead to take a sip of her tea, licking her lips as the sweet beverage lingered on her tongue. She cleared her throat. “What about the ohters? How have they been coping with it?” She sighed dejectedly. “It feels like I'm the only one who's really struggling with this.” “You're not. Believe me, we all are, but we've been relying on each other to help us through it. When was the last time you talked to me or any one of our friends?” Rarity had to stop and ponder over this question for a moment or two before finally stating, “Not since your party.” Twilight reached across the table and gingerly patted Rarity's hoof, taking the white unicorn off guard. “I would encourage you to talk more. It helps, as I'm sure most of our friends will tell you. You should try to make it a mission each week to come over and talk to me. If not me, then somepony else, like Applejack or Fluttershy.” She smiled. “If you do that, then I guarantee you'll start to make real progress.” Rarity nodded, taking another drink. “Maybe.” “I'm available now if you'd like to talk.” “I just might take you up on that offer.” *** Throughout the following weeks, Rarity discovered that her sessions with Twilight were actually starting to have an effect on her. A positive effect, in fact. Not too long after her latest session with Twilight, she started work on the orders that she had to fill, leaving a note with each order. She apologized for the delay, stating that she had been going through some personal issues. Hence, why the orders were so late on being filled. Little by little, she began to regain her sanity. It had taken a while, but she had finally gotten her sleeping schedule down to where it was normal again. Reading Spike's diary just before going to bed seemed to have an aid in this department. One thing that she was happy about that she was no longer having any dreadful nightmares about the little dragon that had stolen her heart. Of course, she still dreamed about him. After all, he had been one of her closest friends and one of her biggest supporters. With the bits she collected from filling her orders, she was able to repair most of the damage done to the kitchen. She smiled to herself, knowing that she couldn't blame Sweetie Belle for it this time. She allowed her little sister and her friends to help out with picking out the color for the new kitchen and help her paint it. She would have asked her own friends to help out, but they were all busy doing their own things. Despite how well her life had improved (she couldn't remember being this happy before or since Spike's death), Rarity was still drinking heavily. She couldn't deny it. She had become dependent on it. She felt as if she couldn't get through a day without at least a few shots of hard cider. She even found herself adding alcohol to any beverage she had, whether it be milk or punch. She seemed to have a very strong fondness for Applejack's cider. However, this came as no surprise to nopony, as the Apples were quite famous for their cider. Folks all over Ponyville and Equestria over would camp out for days on end just to make sure that they were the first ones in line to get a mug of cider from Applejack and the rest of the Apple family. She found herself going to Rainbow Dash's residence often, given the machine that Applejack had given the latter. The two of them would sit and talk for hours on end and watch as the mugs of cider piled up on the coffee table. Being the opposite of Rarity, Rainbow Dash would lie on her side against the backrest of the couch with her head resting on a hoof while she drank her cider with the other. Rarity, in complete contrast to Rainbow Dash, would simply sit on her haunches, facing the coffee table. She would turn her head to address Rainbow Dash. Other than that and drinking from her mug, her body didn't move. Rainbow Dash circled a hoof around her mug, looking down. Her eyes darted across the room, doing everything she could to avoid eye contact with Rarity. Her rose-colored eyes finally landed on Rarity's sapphire blue ones and she cleared her throat. “Hey, Rarity?” Said pony looked at her. “About Spike killing himself . . ., you don't think he did it because of me, do you?” Rarity blinked. “Whatever do you mean, darling?” Rainbow Dash swallowed. “Well, it's just . . .” She rubbed the back of her head and once again looked down. She looked over at Rarity out of the corner of her eye. “You know how I was teasing him about not being a 'real dragon?'” She bent her hooves. “You don't think that got to him more than he let on, do you? He knew that I was just teasing, right?” Rarity smiled. Leaning forward, she placed a hoof on Rainbow Dash's chest. “Oh, Rainbow Dash, darling. You shouldn't be blaming yourself for something you had no control over.” “Still,” her voice cracked, “if I'd just been nicer to him–” “Hush, now! It's not your fault or nopony else's fault! Things like that are nopony's fault! It just happens.” Rainbow Dash nodded. “I-I know. I just . . . can't help but feel a little guilty. All those times I teased him and . . .” She sighed. “I'm a terrible friend.” “No, you're not. There's nothing wrong with a little gentle poking every now and then. You did nothing wrong. You were just playing with him, that's all, and he knew that.” “If he did, then why did he run off to join the dragon migration the very next day?” Rarity scooted back a little. “Rainbow Dash, you can't expect him to grow up among us and not wonder who his real parents are, where he came from. Any adopted child would have questions like that.” “I suppose you're right.” She smiled. “But what about you? How are you holding up since the party?” “I'm doing much better, thank you for asking.” She nodded. “Yeah, I'm back at work, filling orders, and making money. I think things are pretty much back to normal.” Rainbow Dash beamed. “That's great, Rarity!” She gently shoved the unicorn with a hoof. “Looks like you're finally getting back on your hooves, huh?” Rarity nodded. “Yeah, I suppose so.” Chapter 8Fluttershy trotted happily throughout the Ponyville square, humming a merry tune to herself as she made her way towards Carousel Boutique. It had occurred to her that the only way to make Rarity feel better and, hopefully, get her out of her funk was to spend time together. The two of them hadn't been to the spa in weeks and, despite the fact that she didn't mcuh care for pampering, she was craving some alone time with her friend. The front door to the Boutique was unlocked, but as she peeked in, Fluttershy saw no sign of Rarity. She checked at all of the typical places her friend would be, such as the room where Rarity worked and her bedroom, but didn't find her in either. It was when she was exiting Rarity's bedroom that she stopped and listened carefully to the noise that was coming from the room to her right. Was that . . . singing she heard? The hinges on the door creaked when she gently pushed open what she supposed was the door to the bathroom. It had to be, given the steam and foggy atmosphere of the room when she entered. She squinted, attempting to see through the steam. It was difficult, but she eventually made her way to the source of the steam. Pulling back the curtain, she spotted Rarity happily singing to herself while she bathed in the shower. Tentatively, she began singing along with her friend. Hearing a second voice singing along with her, Rarity suddenly stopped in the middle of bathing herself and turned to see Fluttershy standing there, smiling at her. She cried out and fell backwards on her rump. “Fluttershy, what in heaven's name do you think you're doing?” Fluttershy shrunk back a bit. “I-I thought I'd come early so that you and me could get a head-start on our date together.” She smiled. “Could you please be courteous enough to wait until I'm ready?” “Oh, right.” Fluttershy blushed. “Sorry. I'll just wait outside.” “Thank you, dear.” Slowly, the seconds ticked by. Fluttershy seemed to be mesmerized by the ticking clock on the wall, her eyes never leaving it. It wasn't until Sweetie Belle was wandering towards the front door that she diverted her eyes. She beamed at the little filly as she cooed, “Oh, hello, Sweetie Belle,” thus causing said filly to turn. “What are you up to today?” “Just off crusading with Apple Bloom and Scootaloo,” Sweetie Belle replied. “Ooh, that sounds like fun. What are you going to do to earn your cutie marks today?” “Parachuting.” She beamed with pride and puffed out her chest. “My idea.” “Oh. Okay. Just be careful.” Sweetie Belle smiled. “Always.” “Good luck.” “Thanks, Fluttershy.” A few minutes after Sweetie Belle had left, Rarity walked in the living room with a towel folded on her head and dressed in her silk robe. “Ooh, I swear that sister of mine is going to be the death of me.” She looked over at Fluttershy and frowned upon seeing her friend so bored. “I'll just be a minute, darling, I promise.” “Oh, you're fine, Rarity,” Fluttershy reassured her. “Take your time. There's no rush.” Without another word to the cream-colored Pegasus, Rarity turned and made her way back upstairs to work on her mane and tail. She descended the stairs yet again fifteen minutes later looking her beautiful gorgeous self. Fluttershy was already by the door ready to go when she came downstairs. Without waiting another moment, the unicorn trotted over and said, “Well, then, shall we get going?” Fluttershy nodded. “Certainly.” The duo made their way out the door and began walking about Ponyville, making polite conversation. “So, Fluttershy,” Rarity said, “what do you have planned for today?” “Well, I was thinking we could go to the spa for a couple of hours, followed by lunch at Hay Burger, i-if that's okay with you, of course.” Rarity sputtered her lips, blowing her mane upwards. “Of course, darling. That sounds simply fabulous! Let's get going!” Rarity and Fluttershy had been to the spa so many times that both Lotus Blossom and Aloe knew them by name, knew what kind of treatment they wanted, and knew how each of them wanted to be treated during said treatment. As usual, they first started with a trip to the sauna, followed by facials, massages, and finally, a mud bath. Their conversations were mostly spent on what the other had been up to as of late, Fluttershy being adamant about completely avoiding the topic of Spike for fear that it would cause upset Rarity and cause stress for Rarity. Like always, Rarity was pampered and spoiled, whereas Fluttershy declined a full facial, wanting only two pecks of mud on each of her cheeks. The girls left the Ponyville Day Spa feeling relaxed and rejuvenated. They practically bounced out of the spa ala Pinkie Pie when they left. “What about after lunch?” Rarity inquired. “What then?” “Well, I was thinking that maybe we could go to Sugarcube Corner and get some dessert. Maybe? If-if that's okay with you?” “Fluttershy, you know I don't much care for sweets.” She looked behind her nad beamed at her robust rump. “I have to maintain my figure, after all.” Seeing her friend frown and slouch in disappointment, she quickly added, “But, I do have a sudden craving for something sweet. I suppose that stopping by Sugarcube Corner wouldn't hurt.” Fluttershy's face lit up. “Wonderful! Are you hungry now, or do you want to take a stroll through the park first?” Rarity tapped her chin with her hoof in thought. “I haven't eaten anything since breakfast this morning. I am quite hungry.” She looked around. “Where is Hay Burger again? You know me. I would never eat at such an,” she thought of a pleasant word to use, “uncouth place, let alone let Sweetie Belle. That poor filly has enough problems, what, with that Diamond Tiara constantly picking on her. She surely doesn't need another reason for fillies to make fun of.” Fluttershy nodded as they started walking. “I understand, but there's nothing wrong with eating out every once and a while. It's only unhealthy when you eat out constantly.” “Quite right, darling. I suppose I'll just get a salad or something.” She glanced over at the Pegasus. “And you?” Fluttershy merely shrugged. “I don't know yet. Twilight says their food is very good.” Rarity scoffed. “I can't imagine Twilight eating at Hay Burger. She's far too good for that. Now, I can see Spike eating there.” Fluttershy nodded, but said nothing. She was surprised that the mention of the purple dragon didn't upset her friend, as it had done so in the past. The rest of the journey to Hay Burger was silent, aside from a cough or a sneeze from Fluttershy. When she did this for the fifth time in a row, it caused Rarity to question whether or not her friend was getting sick. Fluttershy remarked that she was feeling fine, that it must have been her allergies acting up. It came as no surprise to Fluttershy that Hay Burger was packed with ponies. It was a very popular fast-food chain. It took the two friends quite a long time to finally get inside. Standing outside in the heat in a crowd full of ponies was undoubtedly going to cause Rarity to complain, which she did. “Maybe we should pick somewhere else to eat,” Fluttershy said. Rarity frowned. “Sorry, darling. The heat must be getting to me.” “Are you sure?” “Of course, dear.” “O-okay.” Eventually, they made it inside and to the register. An earth pony greeted them with a warm smile. “Welcome to Hay Burger,” he said brightly. “What can I get for you?” The two scanned the menu above them before answering. “I'll have just a salad, please, with a glass of water,” Rarity replied. The earth pony turned to Fluttershy. “And you, miss?” “Oh. I'll have, uh,” she scanned the menu once again, “a double Hay Burger combo, please, with a diet soda.” “And is that for here or to go?” the earth pony inquired. Fluttershy and Rarity looked at each other before turning their heads to look back at the massive crowd behind them. They both turned back to the earth pony and replied in unison, “To go.” “Very well. Is that together or are both meals separate?” Rarity gave a loud groan and rolled her eyes. “Separate.” “Right, then. Total is five bits for your meal, miss,” he said to Fluttershy. “And two bits is the total of your meal,” he added to Rarity. They found a quiet spot in the park in which to eat their lunch. Thankfully, their food was still hot by the time they reached the park. They sat opposite of each other and began eating, only talking in between swallows and gulps of their beverages. Like Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy was thrilled that Rarity was getting back on her hooves and working again. The work would do her some good. For one, it would get her mind off things and giver her something else to concentrate on besides her depression. For another thing, the money that was pouring in from her filling her orders was helping her maintain a stable household for Sweetie Belle. Her income was so great that she hadn't required any of her friends to help her get the kitchen repaired, in spite of the fact that they had insisted that they help her. It took them over an hour to completely consume their meals. Once their waste was thrown in the trash, the two of them found themselves headed towards Sugarcube Corner. As they neared the entrance, Fluttershy spotted Twilight heading inside as well. “Twilight,” Rarity called. Said unicorn turned to the two of them and beamed. “Hello, girls,” she greeted warmly. “What brings you to Sugarcube Corner today?” “Oh, just out spending the day with Fluttershy,” Rarity replied, smiling at her friend. “What about you, dear?” She stopped and observed Twilight up and down. She noticed that the unicorn seemed to be a bit plumper than usual. She walked around the unicorn, observing her carefully. She felt Twilight wince when she lifted up her friend's tail to observe her buttocks before finally standing beside Fluttershy once again. “Are you feeling all right, dear?” Twilight nodded, giving her friend a puzzled look. “Of course. I feel fine. Why do you ask?” “Well, it's just . . . you seem . . . chunkier than you usually do.” Twilight glared. “What's that supposed to mean?” “You look like you've put on a few pounds,” Fluttershy silently replied. “Are you sure you're feeling all right?” “Girls, I feel fine,” Twilight shot back angrily. “Just because I put on a little extra weight doesn't mean there's something wrong! Okay?!” Rarity was so taken aback by this response that even she took a few steps back. She looked genuinely hurt by Twilight's sudden outburst. “We're sorry, dear. We're just a little concerned, is all.” Twilight's face fell. “I'm sorry, too.” She shook her head. “I haven't been myself lately. I haven't been getting much sleep lately and I seem hungry all the time.” “Maybe you should write the Princess,” Rarity suggested. “It's not healthy to put yourself through this sort of torture.” Twilight nodded. “You're right. I'll write the Princess as soon as I can,” she looked behind her at Sugarcube Corner, “but after I get something to snack on.” She turned back to her friends. “Join me? My treat.” “Of course,” Fluttershy agreed happily. Alongside Twilight and Rarity, she walked in Sugarcube Corner. “Well, if it isn't our best customer,” Mrs. Cake cried happily as the three walked in. “Oh, stop,” Twilight said, blushing. “You've been in here practically every day for the past two weeks,” Mrs. Cake continued. “Okay, seriously, stop,” Twilight said in a more serious tone. She smiled nervously, darting her eyes left and right, trying to avoid the concerned looks she was getting from Fluttershy and Rarity. “What can I get for you, Twilight?” Mrs. Cake asked. “The usual? A dozen chocolate cream-filled donuts?” Fluttershy and Rarity's mouths dropped and their eyes grew wide. Twilight's face was beet red. “N-No. I'll, uh, just have, uh, a cupcake.” “Coming right up,” Mrs. Cake said. She smiled at Fluttershy and Rarity. “And what can I get for you two?” Once they'd collected themselves and gotten over their shock, both Fluttershy and Rarity turned to Mrs. Cake. Fluttershy ordered a slice of cheesecake and Rarity ordered a slice of key lime pie. While Mrs. Cake was busy filling their orders, an awkward silence fell between the three friends. “I had no idea it was that bad,” Rarity said. Twilight sighed and looked down. “Just say it, all right. I'm a pig.” She fell to the floor, covering her face with her hooves. “No, you're not,” Fluttershy said, tenderly petting Twilight's mane. “Just because you binge a little every now and then doesn't make you a pig. Just ask Rarity.” “Fluttershy,” Rarity bellowed. Said Pegasus winced. “Sorry, Rarity.” Twilight sighed yet again. “I'm sorry. I just don't know what to do. Ever since Spike left, I feel like there's a void in my life, and the only way to fill it is to stuff myself.” “You know, you really should see a doctor about that sort of thing,” Rarity said. “It's not healthy, Twilight.” Twilight nodded. “I know. I just can't find the energy or the strength to get out of bed. I'm in a rut. Nothing thrills me anymore. I can't even find a reason to get out of the bed in the morning.” “Believe me, darling, I know how you feel,” Rarity said. “But you have to fight through it and get out of bed and go about your day, even if you don't feel like it.” “And here you are, girls,” Mr. Cake crowed, levitating three small white boxes to the register. “Thank you, Mr. Cake,” Twilight said, handing him several bits. “You can keep the change. Let's go, girls.” She levitated all three boxes and led the way out the door. Their conversation was a lot more lively than when it was just Fluttershy and Rarity, probably because it was so hard for Fluttershy to carry on a conversation. Fluttershy and Rarity did their best to avoid the topic of Twilight's weight gain, now anting to embarrass the poor dear any further than she already was. They didn't so much as bat an eye when she offered to finish off their desserts for them. They watched (Rarity in disgust and Fluttershy in awe) as Twilight wolfed down the remains of their desserts in ten seconds flat. “That was impressive,” Fluttershy commented. “Darling, I feel you really must go see your doctor regarding your eating habits,” Rarity remarked. “I don't want to see you become some crazy mare who's cooped up in her house all day living on sweets and junk food.” Twilight chuckled. “Rarity, that's not going to happen. I'll go see my doctor when I have the time. Right now I'm too busy studying and catching up on my reading to go see the doctor.” “Well, make the time,” Rarity insisted. “Your health is far more important than how far along you are in your studies!” Twilight sighed. “All right, all right,” she agreed. “I see your point. I'll schedule to see my doctor tomorrow.” Rarity sighed in relief. “Thank you, darling. It's just that I care about you very much.” She rested a hoof against Twilight's. “You do realize that, don't you?” Twilight nodded. “Of course I do, Rarity.” She suddenly reached over and enveloped Rarity in a hug “You've been such a good friend throughout this whole experience.” She released Rarity and beamed. “And not just you. I mean, all of you.” She smiled at Fluttershy. “Thank you.” “No trouble, Twilight,” Rarity replied. “It's our pleasure. We're a family, rmemeber, and families help each other when there's trouble.” Fluttershy nodded enthusiastically. “That's right.” Twilight's smile widened to the point where it looked like it was hurting the muscles in her face. “I think, thanks to you guys, I'll be able to sleep more soundly tonight.” “If you'd like,” Rarity suggested, “we could have a sleepover. It won't be like last time since me and Fluttershy,” she grabbed said pony and held her close, “get along just like sisters.” Twilight chuckled. “That actually wouldn't be such a bad idea. I'd love to have some company over for the night. It's been so lonely lately, so . . . quiet.” “Well,” Rarity patted Twilight's hoof, “you won't be lonesome tonight.” “Mm-hmm,” Fluttershy hummed, nodding her head. “You're sure this is enough food?” Twilight asked. She stared down at the large quantity of food sitting before them. Rarity nodded. “Most certainly.” “But isn't this a bit . . . much?” Twilight continued. “I would expect this kind of spread from Pinkie Pie, but not from you two.” She finally glanced up at her friends, making eye contact. “Don't worry, Twilight,” Fluttershy said. “Between the three of us, we'll have this all eaten in no time.” “I'm not looking forward to stomach cramps keeping me up at night,” Twilight protested. “Then don't eat,” Rarity suggested. “Me and Fluttershy, on the other hoof, are quite starved, having not eaten anything since breakfast this morning. I skipped lunch to work on an order.” “And I skipped lunch to feed Angel,” Fluttershy stated. “Okay, then. Eat up.” She finally settled onto her pillow, smiling while her friends munched on the snacks that they'd prepared. She suddenly frowned and sighed dejectedly. “It's been so hard living without him.” Rarity smiled encouragingly. “Believe me, darling, we know how you feel. We've been having a hard time coping as well, myself especially seeing as how I was the one who found him dead.” Twilight looked up at her. “I can't imagine how traumatizing that must've been for you.” “I'm still having nightmares, but,” she leaned forward and patted Twilight's hoof, “talking with you is helping a lot, darling.” “I'm sure it is,” Twilight replied. “Have you talked to Rainbow Dash recently?” Fluttershy asked. “She's been rather distant recently, and any time I see her she's in a foul mood.” She shook her head. “I don't know what's wrong with her.” “I'm sure she's just upset about Spike's passing,” Twilight replied. “She's probably just bottling up her emotions. You know how tough she thinks she is. She needs to learn that it's okay to let go, to show your emotions sometimes, even if it means showing other ponies your vulnerable side.” “Good luck with that, dear,” Rarity said. “It's a real shame the others aren't here, then we could have really had a party.” “I asked, but they're all busy,” Twilight stated. “I'm just glad you two didn't have plans.” “I can finish that order tomorrow,” Rarity decided. “And Angel will be fine until morning,” Fluttershy added, “even though I will miss him.” “He'll be okay,” Twilight reassured the cream-colored Pegasus. Fluttershy smiled. “Thank you, Twilight.” “And what about you, Fluttershy?” Twilight inquired. “How have you been doing since the party?” “Fine,” Fluttershy replied, “just fine. Spending time with my animal friends and taking care of them is helping me a lot. It helps my mind off . . . other things.” “If you ever want to talk,” Twilight said, “I'm here. Anytime you want to talk. You don't even need to schedule an appointment. Just walk in and we'll talk.” “I'll be sure to let Rainbow Dash know,” Fluttershy remarked. “Thank you. I'm sure she'll be in a better mood once she's done talking to me.” “Okay, that's enough gloom,” Rarity decided. “What say we talk about something more . . . pleasant?” “Like what?” Fluttershy asked. “Like,” she thought for a moment, “the cider season coming up. If anything, that's sure to put Rainbow Dash in a good mood.” “Provided she gets some,” Fluttershy added with a chuckle. “Yes, I remember her being in a foul mood all day for the past few years because she didn't get any cider,” Twilight said, smiling. “That's going to change this year,” Rarity said. “One, Rainbow Dash has that machine that gives her cider any time she wants it. And two, Applejack has promised her to save a few mugs of cider for her.” “That's sweet of her,” Twilight remarked. “What about the rest of you?” “Me and Fluttershy particularly don't much care for the taste of cider,” Rarity said. “Besides, we'll be at the spa all day. Some pamepring is just what I need to make me feel better about this whole thing.” “Most of us would like nothing more than to move on, Rarity,” Twilight said, “but, unfortunately, it's not that easy.” Fluttershy nodded. “That's right. It can take months or even years to get over a loved one's death. I should know. I've lost a lot of animal friends throughout the years, and it's taken me a long time to move on.” “Really?” Rarity asked. Fluttershy nodded. “Mm-hmm.” “Don't worry, Rarity,” Twilight reassured. “Together, we can move on with time. It shouldn't take as long as a couple of years or, heck, even months, if we all work together. That's what we're here for, right?” “Right,” Rarity and Fluttershy said in unison. Chapter 9Chapter 9 “Don't worry, Rarity,” Fluttershy said, smiling. “A trip to the spa is just what you need to make you feel better.” Rarity sighed sadly and attempted a smile. “I hope you're right, Fluttershy.” They spent over two hours at the spa, simply talking and being pampered. It was after they were leaving that Rarity suggested that they go out to eat for lunch. Seeing as how she was hungry herself, Fluttershy didn't hesitate. They decided to go to a fancy restaurant that Rarity was fond of called Horseshoe's. She was good friends with the owner, so they were seated almost immediately. “Just take your time, ladies,” their waiter said. “What can I get you to drink?” “Um, I'll have, uh,” Fluttershy scanned the list of drinks, “a soda, please, i-if you wouldn't mind?” The waiter copied down her order and turned to Rarity. “And for you, miss?” drin “Anything with alcohol, please,” Rarity stated, smiling. “Does it matter?” the waiter asked. Rarity shook her head. “No. Wine, whiskey, beer, whatever you have.” “Very well. I'll be back.” Tucking the notepad and pen underneath his wing, their waiter trotted off. Fluttershy fixed Rarity with a concerned look. “Rarity, um, are you . . . okay?” Rarity smiled and brushed back part of her mane with a hoof. “Of course, darling. Why do you ask?” “Well, it's just,” she looked down for a moment before tentaively making eye contact with Rarity again, “you've been drinking an awful lot lately, and I was just wondering if there was anything wrong.” Rarity chuckled. “Oh, Fluttershy, don't worry your pretty little head about that. I'm fine. Everything's fine.” “O-okay.” They fell silent after that, waiting for their drinks. Once their drinks did arrive, Rarity practically grabbed hers and began drinking, while Fluttershy drank hers in small sips. The cream-colored Pegasus watched in awe as Rarity downed her entire bottle of wine in less than a few minutes, then immediately ordered a second one. Throughout the whole ordeal, Fluttershy said nothing, afraid that she would upst Rarity and ruin their date. That was the last thing she wanted to do. By the time they ordered their food and it had arrived, Rarity had drunk a total of five bottles of wine, and she was noticeably starting to get drunk. She began swaying back and forth, clumsily knocking over the empty bottles of wine. Her eyes became bloodshot and her speech became so slurred that Fluttershy had a hard time understanding her. Other customers within the restaurant were starting to look at them strangely, much to Fluttershy's chagrin, and she suspected that maybe it was time for the two of them to leave. The only problem was the fact that they had already ordered and Fluttershy was still quite hungry. She supposed that they could always get a couple of boxes and take their food home with them. When their waiter arrived back at their table, Fluttershy requested that he bring them two Styrofoam boxes to take their lunch in. The waiter, probably noticing how uncomfortable Fluttershy was, quickly agreed and brought the boxes back to her in less than a minute. She scooped both her food and Rarity's food into their respective boxes then, glaring at Rarity, ordered, “Let's go!” Rarity could barely walk right due to how drunk she was. She was constantly bumping into Fluttershy, causing the latter to push her away with an annoyed, angry look on her face. It took them over twenty minutes to get from the restaurant to Fluttershy's cottage, mainly because Rarity kept falling over and Fluttershy having to pick her up again. They could have flown had Fluttershy not had a fear of heights. It was a little while after they arrived back at Fluttershy's cottage that Rarity fell asleep. Fluttershy gently put her on the couch and paced the room back and forth, wondering what she should do. She knew Rarity had a problem with alcohol, but she couldn't just leave Rarity alone to go alert her friends regarding Rarity's problem. She'd known better than to go back to the Carousel Boutique, especially with the unicorn in her current state. Who knows what could have happened to her? She could have gotten hurt or worse. She could have gotten herself killed if she weren't careful. She stopped and turned to look at Rarity as the unicorn mumbled and stirred in her sleep, turning back to Fluttershy. Her stomach growled, reminding her of her own hunger. She heated up her food in the microwave and ate in the living room to keep an eye on Rarity. For the most part, the unicorn stayed put, not moving an inch as she slept. Even if she was asleep, Fluttershy just wanted to make sure that she didn't wake up and hurt herself. Thankfully, Rarity didn't move while Fluttershy ate her lunch. The Pegasus seemed to think that might get cold later on, so she grabbed a spare blanket from the closet and covered her up with it, smiling down at her. She leaned down and pecked Rarity on the head and whispered, “Sleep tight, Rarity,” before she trotted upstairs to her bedroom for a nap. *** Fluttershy awoke with a start upon hearing a loud clanging from downstairs. She sat bolt upright in bed and sprinted down the stairs and to the source of the sound. She stopped, seeing Rarity standing in the middle of the kitchen surrounded by various pots and pans and cooking utensils. She stepped forward, a confused look on her face. “Rarity, what are you doing?” “Making breakfast,” Rarity announced. “I was hungry.” “Oh.” Had she and Rarity been sleeping that long? She nodded towards the microwave. “Your lunch from yesterday is still in there.” Rarity looked over at the microwave and nodded. “Thank you for letting me, darling.” She suddenly wobbled back and forth and she put a hoof to her head. “Oh, my head . . .” Fluttershy went upstairs to the bathroom and looked through the medicine cabinet until she found some medicine for headaches. Giving them to Rarity, along with a glass of water, she smiled when Rarity thanked her and downed the pills with half a glass of water. “Why don't you go lie down while I cook breakfast? Then I'll take you home.” “Well, all right,” Rarity agreed reluctantly, awkwardly walking out of the kitchen to the living room. Fluttershy watched her go before turning and observing the mess in front of her. “Oh, dear,” she moaned. This was going to take quite a while to get cleaned up. Carefully, she stacked the pots and pans according to size, then placed them in the cabinet. The smell of cooking seemed to do nothing but aggravate Rarity's headache. Obviously, the medicine hadn't kicked in yet, and she hated it. She had expected the medicine to take effect no sooner than fifteen minutes. Unfortunately, it was taking longer than that, much to Rarity's irritation. It was such an irritation that she couldn't get to sleep, and she really would have liked to get a couple hours' more sleep. Breakfast was done an hour and a half later. Silently, Fluttershy called Rarity into the kitchen and the unicorn obeyed. She was still a bit wobbly on her legs, but she managed to get to the kitchen without incident. Gently, Fluttershy guided Rarity over to the table and took her place opposite the unicorn. They fixed their plates without much conversation. Fluttershy poured Rarity some orange juice while she poured some milk for herself. Rarity buttered her toast while Fluttershy slapped some raspberry jam on her toast. Once breakfast was over and done with, Fluttershy, as promised, walked Rarity home. “You'll be okay, won't you?” Fluttershy asked. Rarity nodded. “Of course, Fluttershy. I just need to lie down for a few hours, that's all, and I should be okay for the rest of the day.” “Okay. Well, I'll be seeing you, I guess.” Rarity nodded. “See you around.” As soon as the entrance to the Carousel Boutique was closed, Fluttershy turned and started towards Golden Oak Library. *** “You're sure about this?” Twilight asked. Fluttershy nodded. “I really think she has a problem, Twilight. Last night she was so drunk that I was afraid to leave her at home alone.” “How much did she have to drink?” “I don't know. Maybe five, six bottles of wine. Why? Is that a problem?” “I'd say it is. She really needs to get help. We may need to do an intervention.” “Is that really necessary?” “If her drinking is as bad as you say it is.” “But what if she gets mad? What if she gets mad at me and never talks to me again?” “That's not going to happen, Fluttershy. You're did the right thing by coming to me for help. Yes, she may be mad at first, but she'll eventually learn that you're just doing it for her own good. Don't worry. I'll be with you, and so will the others.” “O-okay, Twilight.” “Relax, it's going to be all right, I promise.” Fluttershy's face brightened. “When should we do it?” “It'd have to be at a time that's convenient for everypony. Hmm . . .” She tapped her chin with her hoof. “I'll have to schedule a meeting with everypony, minus Rarity, of course. I'm sure she'll be busy with filling orders, so there's no risk in her coming to the meeting.” “When should the meeting take place?” “How does Sunday sound? Everypony should be free that day.” Fluttershy thought about it for a moment or two before nodding her in agreement. “Okay. Sounds good to me.” Twilight beamed. “Then it's settled! We'll meet on Sunday at lunch to discuss Rarity's problem. I'll let the others know. You just go back to your cottage and act like nothing is going on.” Fluttershy nodded. “Can do!” “Great! If everything goes well, then by this time next week, Rarity should be getting the help she needs.” Chapter 10Chapter 10 Twilight peeked out the window of the library to see four multi-colored ponies racing across town, headed towards her library. She let go of the curtain and walked over to the library door. She wrenched open the door with her magic and ushered in the others before slamming the door behind her and locking it. Turning, she smiled and walked over to the circle of friends in the center of the room. She sat down, joining them. “Did all of you get here okay?” “Just fine,” Applejack said. “Does Rarity know anything?” Twilight asked. “No,” Fluttershy said, smiling proudly. She suddenly frowned and glanced at the others. “I'm not the only one who's noticed the problem, right?” “No, sugarcube,” Applejack reassured. “We've all noticed it.” “Mm-hmm,” the others agreed. “I didn't notice it until cider season,” Applejack said. “She drank as much as Pinkie Pie.” “And she told me she and Fluttershy were going to be busy that day,” Twilight stated. Fluttershy nodded in agreement. “And I noticed it when I was flying over Horsehoe's last week,” Rainbow Dash said. “Rarity was so drunk that she could barely stand up.” “I'm really worried about her,” Fluttershy stated. “We all are, Fluttershy,” Twilight said. “That's why we're all here, right?” “Right,” the others chorused. “So, when can everypony be here for the intervention?” Twilgiht asked. “How 'bout the same time next week?” Applejack suggested. The others nodded in agreement. “Great,” Twilight cried. “Is everypony sure that they can make it?” “I have to work a few hours,” Pinkie Pie said, “but I don't think the Cakes will mind if I take off for the day. It is for Rarity's sake, after all.” Twilight smiled. “Good girl, Pinkie Pie.” She looked around the room. “Everypony else?” “We'll be here,” Rainbow Dash said, smiling widely. “Excellent,” Twilight said, pumping her hoof in the air. “Remember, we have to be very discreet. Nopony lead Rarity on what's really going on. Make up some kind of excuse.” “Ooh, ooh, ooh,” Pinkie Pie cried, hopping up and down with her hoof in the air. “Yes, Pinkie Pie?” Twilight asked. “We could use the excuse that we're throwing a party to cheer her up,” Pinkie Pie said excitedly. “All we need is to have one of us lead Rarity here.” “That's a great idea, Pinkie Pie,” Twilight replied. She turned to Fluttershy. “Fluttershy, will you be okay with leading Rarity here?” Fluttershy nodded. “Of course.” “Great,” Twilight said. “So, we're all clear on the plan then?” The others nodded. “Mm-hmm,” they all said. Twilight smiled. “Excellent!” Fluttershy tentatively knocked on Rarity's door. “Excuse me, Rarity?” She gently pushed open the door to the Boutique and looked inside, from left to right. There was no sign of Rarity anywhere. She eased her way inside, closing the door with her hindhoof before trotting up the stairs to Rarity's bedroo. “Rarity,” she called, looking up and down and left and right for any sign of her best friend. “Rarity!” “Just a moment, darling,” a voice called. Fluttershy followed the source of the voice to the bathroom. Rarity stood in front of the mirror, plucking her eyebrows, the tweezers held in the air with her magic. She had a towel wrapped around her head, an obvious sign that she had just gotten out of the shower. Fluttershy gently eased her way in, the hinges of the door creaking as the door moved. “Are you ready for your party?” “Just about,” Rarity replied, continuing to pluck her eyebrows. The tweezers were lowered to the counter and she turned to walk out of the bathroom. “All ready!” She smiled brightly at Fluttershy and made her way down the hall. She stopped at Sweetie Belle's room. “Sweetie Belle! I'm going out for a while, okay? Please stay out of the kitchen and away from . . . well, everything else!” “Me?!” Sweetie Belle bellowed. “You were the one who caught the ktichen on fire, not me! And if I recall correctly, I dragged your drunk hind end to safety!” “Hey, watch your mouth!” “Sorry.” “I'm going out. Stay indoors. I'm locking the doors. Don't answer for anyone, you hear?” “I know, I know! Get going!” Rarity snorted in irritation before turning with a glare and barking at Fluttershy, “Come on!” They made their way outside of the Boutique (Rarity made sure that the front door was properly locked before leaving) and started towards Twilight's, where the party was being held as Rarity had ben told by Pinkie Pie. “There was really no need for you to throw this party for me, you know?” Rarity said. Fluttershy nodded. “I know. It's just that you seemed so down in the dumps lately that I wanted to do something to make you feel better.” Rarity chuckled and pecked Fluttershy on the cheek. “Darling, you're so thoughtful. Thank you, really. I do appreciate it that you'd throw a party just for me to make me feel better, but I assure you, I'm fine.” “I'm sure you are, but I figured that a party would just be the thing to make everypony feel better. It's not good to spend so much time wallowing in your own misery all the time.” Rarity nodded in agreement. “True, true.” There was little conversation after that. The two of them made verbal observations as they walked. Quills & Sofas had a sale going on and there were plenty of ponies among the square selling food and other items. Even Sugarcube Corner had a “buy three, get one free” sale going on today, though both had to resist the temptation to trot over and partake in said sale, however hard it was. They eventually reached the library and stepped inside, Fluttershy leading the way to take her place among the circle of friends. Upon entering the library and seeing her group of friends sitting together in a circle, she stopped and blinked, her mouth agape. “What's going on here?!” She glared at Pinkie Pie. “You said this was a party!” “Duh,” Pinkie Pie said, rolling her eyes. “This is a party, silly! It's your “Rarity, we're really worried about you and we'd like you to get some help” party!” Rarity sputtered for a moment or two before yelling, “What?!” She looked around before shaking her head and backing away. “N-no! Y-y-you've got it all wrong! There's nothing wrong with me! I'm just . . . I'm just stressed, that's all!” Twilight, tentatively, approached the shaking mare. “Rarity, you have been drinking an awful lot lately. We're here to help,” she smiled, “no matter what it takes.” “I have not,” Rarity said defensively, glaring and stomping a hoof. “Have so,” Applejack said. “Have not!” “Have so!” “Have not!” “Have so!” “Enough,” Twilight yelled. She pulled Applejack back with her magic before once again getting in front of Rarity. “Let's talk about what this is really about. It's about Spike, isn't it?” Once again, Rarity shook her head. “No!” “Rarity, you're a terrible liar,” Applejack spoke up yet again. “Ever since he passed away, y'all been acting different. You're moody. Sometimes y'all are in such a funk that you can't even get out of bed. It's getting' to where y'all are drinkin' as much as cider as Rainbow Dash.” “Yeah,” Rainbow agreed, chuckling and nodding her head. She glared at Applejack. “Hey!” Applejack ignored her. “Y'all need help, Rares, and we're gonna help ya!” “That's right,” Twilight agreed, nodding. “Though, I wouldn't be lying if I said I understand why you're drinking so much. I've been there, so depressed you can't find the strength or the reason to get out of bed, but you have to fight it. You can't let it control you. You've got to get out and about, even if you don't feel like it.” “N-no,” Rarity continued. “You're . . . you're wrong. . . .” “Are we?” Fluttershy asked, giving the others a concerned look. Twilight glared at her. “Stop it! You did the right thing arranging this whole thing.” Rarity turned her attention to Fluttershy. “You!” She lunged at the cream-colored mare, who squeaked in fear and surprise and cowered on the floor. Rarity would have succeeded in attacking her had Twilight nto caught her in mid-air with her magic and settled her back on the floor. “Stop it, Rarity! You know we're right! We're trying to help you, but we can't do that until you let us! If you let us help you, you can finally move on with your life and be happier for it. I'll be serving as your counselor while you're in rehab.” “Oh, no,” Rarity cried, shaking her head. “No way in Equestria am I going to rehab.” “Too late, silly,” Pinkie Pie said. “We've already gotten you enrolled.” Rarity gritted her teeth. “What?!!” “Rarity, ca–” Twilight began. “You mean to tell me you lot deliberately went behind my back and enrolled me in a program without asking me first?!” Rarity shouted hotly. “Well, what else were we supposed to do?!” Rainbow Dash snapped back. “You won't talk to us! You won't let us help you! It was either enroll you in rehab or watch you drink yourself to death!” Rarity's expression softened and she looked down, circling the floor with her hoof. She sighed before looking up and surveying the colorful mares around her. “How long do I have to think it over?” “We'll give you a day,” Twilight stated. “After that, if you haven't come to a decision, we'll take you to rehab by force, by order of Princess Celestia herself.” Rarity swallowed hard and again looked down at the floor. “May I go?” “On the condition that you won't drink,” Twilight stated. Rarity nodded. “Very well. I, uh, have some cider at my place that you'll probably won't to get rid of.” Twilight looked at the others. “Should we do that now or wait until she's in rehab?” “Ah suggest we do it now,” Applejack said. “Don't wanna run the risk of her drinking again.” The others nodded in agreement. “Fine then,” Twilight said. She addressed Rarity. “We'll follow you home and help you get rid of the cider.” “What if . . .” She swallowed. “What if I don't want to?” “Rarity, you really need to stop and think about the danger you're putting Sweetie Belle in,” Twilight said. “She nearly died because of you. What if you get in a rage while drunk and seriously hurt her?” Rarity's breath caught and she backed away. “N-no. That couldn't happen. She . . . she knows I love her far too much to hurt her.” “Doesn't matter,” Rainbow Dash said. “You won't be able to stop yourself from hurting her if you're drunk.” “Especially if she does something to provoke you,” Twilight added. “We're not trying to get you angry or upset you, Rarity. We're just trying to help you, that's all, like good friends should.” “Mm-hmm,” the others agreed enthusiastically. “All right,” Rarity agreed. “Everypony follow me.” With a sad face, Rarity watched as her precious liquor was poured down the drain of the kitchen sink. Not surprisingly, she had at first attempted to stop them from taking her liquor before Twilight had cast a spell on her that froze her in place, thus allowing them to take the booze without her protesting. Once they'd gotten a hold of said liquor, the spell on her had been disabled. She had been instructed to not move while they worked, pouring perfectly good cider down the drain. Applejack seemed to notice her friend's sad depression. She put a hoof around her and smiled. “Relax, sugarcube. Y'all will feel much better once you get better and finally be free of this obsession.” Rarity sighed. “I guess so.” “That's the last of it,” Twilight said, dumping the empty bottle of cider in the trash. “We'll leave you alone now so that you can do some thinking. Remember, you only have twenty-four hours to come to a decision. I hope you make the right one.” Along with the others, she walked out of the Boutique. The door was shut, leaving Rarity alone in the middle of the kitchen. Chapter 11Chapter 11 Twilight turned out to quite an amazing counselor. With doctor-patient confidentiality, Rarity was able to lay out the whole story about how Spike had come to her with a love letter, how she had completely ignored him, how he had felt rejected, and finally, how she had found his dead corpse in the middle of the Golden Oak Library. Twilight had sat silently, absorbing all of the information that Rarity spilled out. Once she was done, the white mare looked absolutely terrified, probably because of how worried she was about how Twilight would react. There was a minute or two of silence–a very long uncomfortable silence that made Rarity anxious for Twilight to say something, anything. “I think we've stumbled onto the root of your problems, Rarity,” Twilight said. She made a note in her notepad, and she heard Rarity give an audible sigh of relief. She lowered her notepad and eyed Rarity. “You feel very guilty over Spike's death, but I don't think it was entirely your fault. Remember, you rejected him all the time and he seemed okay with it.” Rarity glared. “Not helping, Twilight.” Twilight chuckled. “Oh, yeah, right.” She cleared her throat. “Like I said, I don't think it was entirely your fault. Spike was already depressed long before he came to you with that love letter.” “Really?” Twilight nodded. “Uh-huh. There's a specific journal entry that caught my attention when I was reading it.” She lifted said journal from her saddlebag with her magic. Caught in her magic, the book was opened and several pages were flipped before she lowered the book to Rarity's eye-level. “Take a look at this.” Silently, Rarity read. My life is hell. Why is it nothing ever goes right for me? It seems to me that I'm just a big joke to everpony. Nothing ever goes my way. The love of my life doesn't love me. I can never catch a break. Why are the gods so hateful towards me? Is it something that I did? Did I do something wrong? I must have, otherwise my life wouldn't suck this much. I'm so confused, so depressed. What can I do to make my life better, to make Rarity notice me and finally go out with me? Well, that's it for this journal entry. Talk to you later, journal. ~Spike~ “Hmm,” Rarity said, “I guess I must have missed this journal entry when I was reading it originally. Still, my rejecting him is what led him to kill himself, wasn't it?” Twilight shrugged. “I can't answer that question for you, Rarity, but what I can tell you is that you shouldn't let it control you. You need closure so you can move on with your life.” Rarity smiled. “Closure. Got it.” Both mares jumped when they heard a loud ringing erupt the silence in the room. Twilight reached forward and pushed a button on the timer resting on the table between them. “That's all the time we have for today, I'm afraid.” Rarity looked downcast. “But we were just starting to make progress.” Twilight nodded. “I know, but I'll see you again next week, same time as always.” Rarity sighed dejectedly. “All right. See you next week, Twilight.” Without another word to her counselor, she exited the room, standing in the middle of a hallway. She looked left, then right, trying to remmeber which way her room was. Which way had she turned to enter the room that served as her and Twilight's meeting place for their counseling sessions? She closed her eyes and tried to remember. Ooh, this was so frustrating! Her eyes popped open as the recollection suddenly hit her. That was it! She'd turned right to enter the room. She took a left and began to happily trotting down the hallway. Entering her room, she climbed onto her bed and resumed reading the latest book that she was obsessed with. Seeing as how she wasn't allowed to leave the premises and she didn't have much else to do, reading was the only way to maintain her sanity. Twilight gave her free reign of her library. During their counseling sessions, she would tell Twilight which books she wanted and Twilight would deliver them to her as soon as possible, knowing that poor Rarity had to be bored out of her mind doing nothing but staying in her room all the time. The latest book that Rarity was reading was a thrilling adventure starring Daring Do as she struggled to once again obtain possession of an ancient artifact that could destory the world before some dastardly rival got their hooves on it and do only Celestia knew what with it. She chuckled to herself, knowing that she could never bring herself to do the job of Daring Do. All that dirt and sweat wasn't for her, but her adventures certainly made for an interesting tale. At the very least, they helped her pass the time while she waited for her next counseling session with Twilight. She had made a few friends while in rehab. Sometimes she would feel the compulsion to get out of her room and mingle among the other patients. There was a red fox named Rita Landow who, like Rarity, was an alcoholic and came from a broken home, a broken family. She was extremely hateful and angry. Once Rarity had actually sat down with her and talked to her, getting to the root of her problems, she had become a lot more kinder and sweeter as the days had gone on. When she got right down to it, Rarity realized that the only thing that the fox really wanted was to be loved, just like another one of her friends. As far Rarity was concerned, Rita Landow and Erik Matthews, another one of her friends, were one in the same. Both of them came from broken homes and broken families and both of them wanted pretty much the same thing: just to be loved and cared for. Rarity had devoted much of her time, when she wasn't in therapy, talking to him and her, sometimes alone and sometimes with all three of them together. At her request, the two of them had started to spend time together, and they seemed to be hitting it off rather well. So, if anything else, Rarity was at least making a difference in the lives of others. Even so, Rarity remained a complete and utter mess, as evidenced by her sessions with Twilight, who noted that she was making progress, but still had a long way to go before she was her old self again. When she wasn't talking to her friends or talking with Twilight, she was spending her time sketching possible outfits that she would design in the future. Even though it took a long time for her to work up the motivation to get back to work, she found that working in itself was kind of like therapy for her. It provided her with a way to forget about things and just be herself. Unfortunately, with her schedule of meals and talking, she only got to do some drawing a couple of hours before heading off to bed. Despite this, it was a good way to wind down after a long day of doing nothing but talking. If nothing else, it helped get her tired. Honestly, Rarity was surprised that she didn't mind the fact that she would be stuck at the facility for more than a few months. She didnt' care how long it took, just as long as she got better and was able to move past the tragedy that had stricken her for so long. At first she'd been reluctant to go due to her worries over what to do with Sweetie Belle, but Applejack–Celestia bless her soul–in her unwavering kindness had agreed that the little filly could stay at her house with Apple Bloom. The two fillies were elated about this plan, stating it would just like they were sisters. Though, the group agreed that they would take turns looking after Sweetie Belle. So, Sweetie Belle's safety and well-being was at least one thing that she wouldn't have to worry about during her recovery. Due to Twilight being such a good therapist, Rarity found herself getting better far more quickly than she had anticipated. The white unicorn even recommended her to Rita and Erik, both of whom weren't happy with their therapists. The former had viciously attacked her therpaist when he had suggested that she lose some weight, while the latter wasn't comfortable talking with his therapist. In spite of the fact that she didn't know them very well, Twilight agreed to take them under her wing, with Rarity telling her to be very careful with her words as the two of them were very sensitive. As Rarity's sessions with Twilight drew on, they became more and more personal. Twilight was bound and determined to cut through the facade that Rarity was putting on. She acted as if her alcoholism and stress was caused by Spike's passing, but Twilight knew that wasn't true. The others, nor herself, had ever turned to alcohol as a means of coping with Spike's passing, and none of them were feeling stressed due to it either. Rarity's reason for turning to alcohol and feeling stressed all the time seemed to run deeper, like Rarity was attempting, but failing miserably, was trying to conceal up the real reason. Even if she wasn't the Element of Honesy, Twilight Sparkle noted that Rarity was a terrible liar, mainly due to looking for the signs that Applejack had learned to spot when someone was lying. For example, Rarity's eyes were constantly darting about the room. She was constantly touching herself. Her breathing became heavy and she often complained about feeling hot. Had one been only listening to the two of them through the other side of the door, one would swear that the two of them were going at it like a couple of horny chihuahuas. Finally, Twilight had decided that she'd had enough shenanigans and tackled Rarity to the floor, holding her down. “T-Twilight, what in heaven's name are you doing?” Rarity cried. She struggled against Twilight's tight grasp on her. “No more games, Rarity,” Twilight said sternly. “You're going to tell me the truth and you're going to tell me right now!” Her horn glowed and she lowered it to Rarity's mouth. “Oh, please tell me you're not going to make me suck you off!” Twilight simply rolled her eyes at this comment and ordered, “Open your mouth!” Once Rarity had complied, she shoved her horn inside until the tip of it touched Rarity's tongue. After a couple of seconds, she got off Rarity and took her seat once again. “All right. Spill.” Rarity swallowed hard before taking a deep breath and spouting out, “I killed Spike!” She covered her mouth with both hooves, eyes wide. Had that really just come out of her mouth?! Twilight squinted. “What are you talking about?” “He . . . he came to my shop one day with a love letter and I completely rejected–” “Rarity, we've been over this before. Don't you remember?” Rarity nodded and looked down, looking downcast. “I know, but . . . I can't get over it. It still keeps me up at night. I can't sleep. I can't eat. All I can think about is Spike and that love letter of his and that I completely ignored.” She fell flat on her stomach, covwering on the floor with her hooves on her head, as if she was trying to get rid of a really bad migraine. She opened her eyes and looked up when she felt Twilight lift her head up with a hoof. “Rarity, I can't understand what you must be going through right now, but I'll do my best to help you get through it, I promise.” She helped Rarity to her hooves. “No matter how long it takes, right?” Rarity beamed. “Right!” “Good. Now, the thing that you need is closure. I suggest you go to Spike's grave and say what you need to say, take a few days off, then come back here for another session.” “Is that allowed?” “I can give you a week-free pass so that you can go back home nad get your thoughts together.” “Are you sure?” “If it'll help, then yes. I'm not sure if it will help you or not, but there's no harm in trying, right?” Rarity sighed and thought aout it for a moment or two before nodding her head in agreement. “All right, Twilight. If you think this can help, then I'm willing to do it.” “I'll get everything set up so that you can leave. Of course it'll take a few days.” “Not a problem, dear. I must say I've quite enjoyed myself during my stay here at the facility.” “Good to know. While you're gone, I'll still be working with Rita and Erik. That should give me something to do while I wait for you to come back.” “Well, I'm off. Let me know when you have everything squared away, will you?” “Of course I will.” “Great. Love you. See you in a few days.” And with that, she was out the door, heading back to her room as if it was just the end of any ordinary therapy session. *** As Twilight said, it did take a while for her to get everything set up so that Rarity could return to Ponyville. By this point in her recovery, Rarity had become sober and was no longer relying on alcohol, unlike Rita. After evaluating her mental state and making it a strict rule that she not be around any kind of alcohol at any time and after ensuring that Rarity understood the rules and regulations of being out and about outside of the facility and that she would obey said rules and regulations, it was agreed that she could return to Ponyville to get her bearings for at least a week. A week alone would be more than enough time for her to get her head cleared and get her thoughts together, Twilight hoped. Twilight went with Rarity to the train station to see her off. The two of them sat inside the station, sitting across from each other, drinking some fresh, hot coffee while they communed among themselves. “I really did love him, you know,” Rarity said. “Not romantically, of course, but platonically.” Twilight nodded. “He knows you did, Rarity, and he knows that you would never do anything to hurt him intentionally. He just wanted a bit more out of his relationship with you.” “Twilight Sparkle, you know as well as I do that it would never work out. What would other ponies think? What would they say? It wouldn't look good for my public image. Not to mention the height and age difference. He was very cute, I'll give him that, but he wasn't exactly . . . mature and old enough to handle the responsibility of being in a relationship.” “Maybe that's why he was so keen on getting together with you. Maybe he wanted to learn how to handle a relationship.” Rarity hoffed. “If he wanted to learn the inner workings of a relationship, he could have just dated my sister or Apple Bloom.” Twilight's face brightened at this suggestion. “They would make a cute couple, wouldn't they? Either one of them.” Rarity smiled and nodded her head while she took another sip of her coffee. Twilight cleared her throat. “Have you been doing any better since I last saw you?” “I've been getting better sleep, yes, thank you for asking. You'll take good care of Erik and Rita for me, won't you?” “Of course, Rarity. You have my word. They're in good hooves.” “Good to know. Just wanting to make sure, that's all.” “Are you hungry? I could go get us some honey buns or something.” “Thank you, but, no, thanks. Those things are awfully messy and I just showered. I wouldn't want to get my coat all ruined.” Twilight frowned. “What is it with you and apperances? I mean, are you so worried about what others will think of you that you won't even give my Spike the chance that he can be romantic?” “Well, as I said, Twilight, it's not just that. It's also the age and maturity level.” “He's actually very mature for his age, far more mature than your sister and her friends.” “Hey!” She leaned forward and glared. “What are you trying to say about my sister and her friends?” “Nothing, nothing. It's just that some of the thinsg they do to earn their cutie marks seem . . . well, rather stupid.” “Now you're calling my sister stupid?!” “N-No, no. It's not like that.” “How dare you!” Before Twilight could react, Rarity had reared back her hoof and given her a powerful slap across the face. She looked behind her, hearing a train whistle, meaning that her ride was approaching. “Enjoy your coffee, Twilight Sparkle!” With a flick of her tail, she grabbed her things and headed outside to board her train home. Chapter 12Chapter 12 Closure. Was that was Twilight had said that she needed? Closure. Yes, that was it. That was what Rarity needed. But how was she supposed to find closure? She paced back and forth in her bedroom, racking her brain over and over again on how to tackle her guilt. She'd been feeling like this for months on end. Therapy was helping some, but she needed more. Sighing heavily, she flopped down on the bed, her body sinking into the mattress of her bed. She stared up at the ceiling while the comfort and softness of her bed began to envelope her so much that she could easily have fallen asleep right then and there. She turned her head to look over at the clock on her bedside table. It was about three thirty in the afternoon. Her eyes met the ceiling yet again as she went back to thinking about what course of action she should take. Of course she hadn't bothered to pick up Sweetie Belle from Applejack's, feeling the need to be alone so that she could get her head cleared and come up with a way to solve the problem that she currently had. Thankfully, Applejack had agreed to look after her little sister while she tackled her dilemma. A tear fell from her eye. She missed him so much, probably just as much as Twilight did, if not more. True, the two of them hadn't exactly been close, so maybe that was why his passing was affecting Twilight more than her. Even so, they had still been friends. After all, he had been her biggest pillar of support throughout her career, giving her his honest opinion on outfits and what, at least he thought, could make them better. His ideas weren't always the best course of action, but she would always take them to heart and try them out, if only to keep from hurting his feelings sometimes. She had even taken a bite of that wretched pie he had made while declaring servitude to Applejack, just to keep him from feeling hurt by her refusal to eat it. She smiled at the memory, remembering that it had tasted like charcoal. Her gaze fell from the ceiling to her stomach as it growled. That was right. She hadn't eaten breakfast today. All she'd had was a cup of java and that was about it. It was well past lunchtime and dinner was fast approaching. Nonetheless, she saw no harm in getting something to much on, to tide her over until dinner. Strangely enough, she didn't really feel like eating, much less getting up and cooking something for dinner. With how many bits she made from her career, she could easily just go out to eat instead of needlessly dirtying up dishes just to make a meal for one pony. She stopped to look at herself in the mirror and struck a pose. She did look malnourished, but that was to be expected given that she'd had no appetite as of late due to her depression over Spike's passing away. On the other hoof, Sweetie Belle had been eating constantly, to the point where Rarity had had to put a chain and lock on the fridge and put a spell on the doorway to the kitchen to keep Sweetie Belle from gorging herself. Obviously, the little filly and Spike had been closer than Rarity or anypony else had realized. Instead of talking to her older sister about how she was feeling regarding Spike's death, she had decided to start eating her emotions, finding comfort in food. Then again, Rarity had never actually taken the time to talk to Sweetie Belle about Spike's death, probably because the older unicorn had been too busy fussing over herself and the orders that needed feeling. She glared at her reflection, hating that despite being the Element of Generosity, she could be so selfish and stubborn sometimes. And now, because of her selfishness, her little sister was a big, fat slob who could barely go through any door without getting stuck. The filly must have been having a field day at Applejack's, what with all the food that Applejack and her family cooked. The first thing she was going to do as soon as Sweetie Belle came home was put her on a strict diet and exercise regime to help her lose the excess weight she'd put on over the past few months. She continued on with her journey, stopping when she reached the first floor and noticed the kitchen a few feet to her right. She shook her head. There was no sense in making dishes dirty for just one meal. It wouldn't kill her to spend a few bits on a meal at a diner. With her popularity as a fashion designer, she could easily get the spent bits back in no time at all. Exiting the Boutique, she thought about maybe stopping by Applejack's to see how Sweetie Belle was doing, just to check up on her and see that she was all right. Hopefully, the filly hadn't eaten them out of house and home. Still, that could wait until after she'd gotten something to eat. Her growling stomach wouldn't allow her to skip a meal long enough to see how her little sister was faring at her friend's. Maybe it was her depressed mood or maybe it was because she was thinking of Sweetie Belle, but either way she was craving something sweet. Sugarcube Corner was the ideal place for getting her fix. It wasn't as if a little something sugary wasn't going to give her a paunch or anything. What would a few chooclatey treats do to her besides hype her up and add a slight bulge to her stomach? She could easily work it off on her way to Applejack's and back. She wasn't too surprised to see Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash eating and chatting together when she entered the eatery. After all, they were best friends. However, Rainbow Dash appeared to be doing most of the talking, Fluttershy being the shy, quiet type and all. Their eyes met when Fluttershy looked past Rainbow Dash and noticed Rarity entering. The cream-colored Pegasus waved her over, causing Rainbow Dash to turn her head and smile and wave. She thought, What the hay, and decided to go ahead and join them before ordering. Besides, they were probably wondering how she was doing anyway. She was actually a little surprised that Rainbow Dash was so elated to see her, especially considering how little time they had spent together. Nonetheless, she sat down on one side of the table, between the two of them. “So,” Rainbow Dash said, smiling and resting a hoof on the side of her head, “how goes therapy?” “Rainbow Dash,” Fluttershy scolded quietly, glaring. “No, it's okay,” Rarity corrected her friend. She turned to Rainbow Dash and grinned. “It's going pretty great, actually. I really think I'm close to a breakthrough.” “That's so great, Rarity,” Fluttershy said. “Before you know it, you'll be out of there and back to your old job in no time.” Rainbow Dash nodded. “I second that.” She lifted her glass and clinked it with Fluttershy's before rearing back her head and taking a swig. “Are you hungry?” Fluttershy inquired Rarity. She pushed a basket of chili cheese fries towards the unicorn. Rarity stared down at the basket of fries. The smell alone was so intoxicating that she could just bury her face in the basket and eat them all at once, but that wasn't ladylike. She wouldn't be caught dead doing such a thing. She looked up at Fluttershy. “Thank you, kindly, but I'd prefer getting my own food, thanks.” “Oh, o-okay.” Fluttershy pushed the basket of fries back to the center of the table. “What are you getting?” “I don't know yet, but I'm in the mood for some chocolate.” “I recommend the chocolate milkshake,” Fluttershy said. She took a sip of the chocolate milkshake in front of her. “It's simply to die for. What a taste?” Once again, she offered her own food towards her friend. “No, thanks,” Rarity replied. “I'll be right back.” She trotted over to the main counter. “Hello, Mr. Cake. Pinkie Pie busy cooking today?” Mr. Cake nodded. “Yes, she's been cooking up a storm.” He and Rarity both jumped when they heard an explosion, followed by Pinkie Pie yelling, “I got it!” He turned his head to see the kitchen coated in dough and Pinkie Pie happily, and greedily, wolfing it down as she swam in it. He chuckled and shook his head before turning back to Rarity. “What can I get for you?” “Uh . . .” Rarity raised her head to scan the menu and put a hoof to her chin, tapping it while she thought about her choices. “Hmm . . .” She squinted and finally looked back down at Mr. Cake. “I'll take some cheesecake with a small helping of whipped cream and a chocolate milkshake, if you please.” “Of course,” Mr. Cake replied. “That'll be ten bits.” Rarity levitated exactly ten bits from her saddlebag and set them on the counter. “And we'll call you when your order's ready,” Mr. Cake added while he deposited the bits into the register. “Please and thank you,” Rarity remarked before turning and walking back over to Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. As she was walking away, she heard Bon Bon mutter, “About time. Ow!” Obviously, Lyta hadn't found her comment too pleasant and had chastised her by jabbing a hoof in her side. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash were in the midst of a discussion about whether or not Fluttershy should ask Bulk Biceps out on a date. “Come on, Fluttershy,” Rainbow Dash urged. “You totally have a crush on that guy. It's obvious to me and everypony else.” “Oh, I don't know,” Fluttershy said. “I do like him, but he's not exactly dating material. Besides, I don't even have a crush on him.” “Well, who do you have a crush on?” “I can't say.” “Who?” “You're going to laugh at me.” “Who?!” “You!” Rainbow Dash became silent while her face fell. Her eyes darted about the room before finally making contact with Fluttershy's eyes again. “Uh . . . wow . . .” “Ladies,” Rarity said, taking her seat by them. “Did you happen to find anything interesting to talk about while I was gone?” “Well, apparently,” Rainbow Dash said, “Fluttershy here has a crush on me.” Rarity beamed at Fluttershy. “You do? That's so cute.” “Well, real cute,” Rainbow Dash said, monotone. She cleared her throat and, in desperate need to change the subject, said, “So what are you doing back here in Ponyville, Rarity?” “Twilight thought it'd be good for me to come back and get my bearings, to get some 'closure', as she put it. To be honest, I'm not exactly sure what that means, but if it helps me finally move on, then I'm willing to give it a try.” Rainbow Dash breathed a sigh of relief. “Good. That means we can finally go back to the way things used to be. You know, before all this drama started up with you and Spike.” When Rarity glared at her, she hastily added, “Not that that's a bad thing. I mean, we've all been struggling as well, but we've all managed to move past that and move on with our lives, all without the help of some therapist, thank you very much.” “We all react differently to different things, Rainbow Dash,” Fluttershy stated. “So what if Rarity is attending therapy to help her move on with her life? It doesn't mean anything.” Rarity nodded her head. “Have either of you spoken with Sweetie Belle recently?” Both of her friends shook their heads. “Oh,” Rarity continued. “Well, I was planning on stopping by Applejack's to see how she's been doing since I've been gone.” “I'm sure she's fine, Rarity,” Fluttershy said. “You know as well as I do that Applejack won't let anything happen to her.” Rarity nodded her head. “I'm most certain that she won't, but I'm still going to go check up on her to make sure that she hasn't gotten herself and her friends killed.” “Trying to get their cutie marks is going to be the death of them, I swear,” Rainbow Dash agreed, stuffing a few chili cheese fries in her mouth. Rarity winced. “Ugh! Rainbow Dash, how can you eat that repulsive stuff?” “Easy,” Rainbow Dash replied. “With how many calories I burn while flying, I'll be able to lose any pounds I put on in no time.” “Really?” Rarity was taken aback by this statement. “I didn't know you could burn calories whilst flying.” “Of course,” Rainbow Dash continued. “Flying is like form of exercise, like bucking trees is Applejack's.” “Cheesecake with chocolate shake,” Mr. Cake called. “Oh, there's my order,” Rarity chirped, getting up and walking over to the counter. Once she got back to the table, she began eating while continuing on with her conversation with Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. It was half past five by the time the trio broke up. Fluttershy left to make sure that her animal friends had dinner before going off to bed while Rainbow Dash soared off to clear away the clouds before the day was done. Finally, Rarity set out for Applejack's to check up on Sweetie Belle. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle were playing together in the front yard when Rarity arrived at Sweet Apple Acres. Apple Bloom was jumping up and down on Sweetie Belle's big, round white stomach while the latter giggled madly as her belly jiggled, making its contents slosh audibly. Rarity smiled, seeing how happy Sweetie Belle while living at Applejack's. At least she was behaving herself and staying out of mischief. Though, Rarity's fears seemed to have been realized, as she noticed that Sweetie Belle seem to have gotten fatter while living with Applejack. That shouldn't have been surprising, given how much Applejack herself was able to eat. It was still kind of jarring to see how big and round the little filly had gotten over the past few weeks. Rarity walked past the pair (both of them said, “Hello” to her and she returned the gesture) and up the front steps to the front door. She lifted a hoof and knocked gently, at least ten times, before stepping back and waiting for Applejack to answer the door. Instead of Applejack, however, Big Mac answered the door. She grinned and said, “Hello, Big Macintosh. Is Applejack home?” The large, red stallion looked behind him, turned back to Rarity, and uttered a deep, “Yep.” He stepped aside to let her squeeze inside the home. Not surprisingly, Applejack was helping Granny Smith cook in the kitchen. Though she'd already eaten, Rarity couldn't deny the fact that the scent in the kitchen as she entered was downright heavenly. Hearing hoofsteps, Applejack turned and beamed when she saw Rarity enter the room. “Howdy there, Rarity.” She tipped her Stenson hat to the unicorn. “What brings you here/” “I'm just stopping by to check up on Sweetie Belle,” Rarity replied. “Care to stay and have some dinner?” Applejack inquired. Rarity shook her head. “Thank you, but I've already eaten. Has Sweetie Belle been behaving herself since I've been gone?” “Course she has,” Applejack said. “She's been a little angel. Never had to get onto her but for a few times for sneaking up in the middle o' the night and trying to get food.” “That's what I was afraid of. Forgive my language, but she's been eating like a little piggy lately, so I was afraid of–what are you staring at?” She stopped talking when she noticed that Applejack had a worried look on her face. She turned her head and her face fell when she saw Sweetie Belle standing there. Before anypony could say or do anything, the little filly burst into tears and ran down the hall, bawling. Rarity winced when she heard the door to Apple Bloom's bedroom slam shut. She sighed and turned back to Applejack. “I'll, uh, I'll just go. Tell Sweetie Belle I'm sorry.” Applejack nodded. “Of course. Ah'll talk to ya soon.” Without another word, Rarity headed towards the front door. She stopped and walked down the hallway. She stopped at Apple Bloom's room and pressed an ear to the door. Her heart sank when she heard Sweetie Belle bawling her eyes out. Her ears drooped and silenlty whispered, “I'm sorry, Sweetie Belle.” Feeling as horrible as she thought she could, she turned and walked back down the hall and out the front door. *** Later in her bedroom, Rarity mentally scolded herself. Damn it, Rarity! What in Celestia's name is wrong with you? Why can't you stop hurting the ones you love? She stopped in the middle of her pacing as the question caught her off guard. Ironically enough, the same question had been plaguing her mind ever since Spike's passing. Now she'd hurt her one and only sister. Quite possibly, she felt even worse about hurting Sweetie Belle than Spike because, after all, they were family. Emotionally, she and Spike were family also, but she and Sweetie Belle were closer than either one of them had been to Spike since they were siblings. She fell forward onto her bed and buried her face in her pillow. She inhaled deeply, exhaling slowly while she thought about what to do now. As if she didn't have enough problems plaguing her mind, now she had to figure out how to fix her broken relationship with Sweetie Belle. She cared deeply for her little sister, hence why she'd been trying to figure out a way to keep her little sister from eating herself to death. Ironically enough, she'd been more concerned about Sweetie Belle's problems than her own. It was no wonder why Rarity saw herself as a second mother to her little sister. She just hoped that Sweetie Belle would find it in her heart to forgive her and wave away the incident as if it'd never happened. She turned on her side, lifting up her covers to bury herself within their warmth and comfort. It was only a little past seven o' clock, but she was so drained mentally, physically, and emotionally that she didn't care. She hoped that she would be able to get a good night's sleep, but she highly doubted that with how bad she felt for hurting Sweetie Belle's feelings. It hadn't even been intentional; she had just been being honest with Applejack. She had vowed never to hurt her little sister ever again, and she'd broken that vow. How in Equestria was she supposed to get to sleep now? She yawned, lifted a hoof to shut off the lamp on her bedside table. She was so tired that she didn't even feel like doing a little reading before going off to bed. Closing her eyes, she silenlty prayed to the gods that they would supervise over her night and fill it with pleasant dreams instead of bad ones that only served to remind her of how horrible she felt right now. *** It was around three in the morning when Rarity awoke with a start. She sat bolt upright in bed, looking to and fro, having an idea suddenly sparked within the inner depths of her brain. Yes! Of course! She knew what she had to do now, to make things all right again! Leaping out of bed, she charged out of the Boutique, grabbing a shovel and a sack along the way and levitating them both above her while she ran throughout the town of Ponyville. There wasn't a soul on the streets of Ponyville as she ran. She was shrouded in darkness, all of the stores having closed up shop hours ago. She was completely alone, with only the light from the moon as her guide. Looking back now, she'd wished that she'd brought a lantern with her, just in case it became too dark to see. But there was no time to go back and get one. She'd already started on her journey and she was going to see it through to the end, even if it killed her. If it did indeed kill her, then at least she would finally be with her beloved yet again. It took her over an hour to get to her destination. It was nearly five in the morning, and the moon was beginning to lower while the sun was beginning to rise, casting the sky in a beautiful shade of purples, oranges, yellows, and reds. The sight was absolutely breathtaking. Sadly, there was no time to marvel at Celestia's handiwork as she had a job to get done. She stopped at the top of the hill, bathing herself in the shade of the tree that overlooked Ponyville. The shovel and sack were dropped on the ground. Her gaze fell to the tombstone that lied before her. Carved into were the words: “Spike the dragon. Beloved friend to the end.” A few tears ran down her cheeks as she read these words. Getting herself all worked up right now was uncalled for. There was a mission to be completed. And thus, the first shovelful of dirt was unearthed and cast to the side. She was just glad that she could easily use her magic to get the job done instead of having to do the job manually. There wa sno need to get all sweaty and dirty. Still, she would need a shower anyway when she got back home. A shower sounded so nice right about now. Another hour or so passed as she dug, slowly but surely delving deeper and deeper into the earth. Eventually, she reached Spike's coffin and slowly pried it open, as if afraid that Spike's corpse would jump out at any time in an effort to scare the piss out of her. The door to the coffin fell against the wall of dirt beside the coffin, giving her a full view of Spike's corpse that lied within. Amazingly, Spike's body hadn't started to decay yet. Then again, it had only been a few months since his passing. The decaying process would take years before he was literally nothing but bones. She lifted her head to glance to the left and right, just to make sure that nopony was watching before levitating Spike's body and carefully placing it in the sack. The coffin was closed and the mounds of dirt that surrounded the gravesite were once again deposited into the grave, being careful to make it seem as if the grave hadn't been disturbed at all. Levitating her objects, she darted down the hill and back home. *** After this, nopony saw Rarity very much anymore. Sweetie Belle continued to stay with Applejack and her family until Rarity gave Applejack the word that it was okay for her to return home. Months and months went by without anypony seeing or hearing a word from Rarity. Every now and again, ponies would see her up and about in Ponyville, getting groceries or running errands. But these sightings became less and less frequent to the point where she wasn't seen at all. The “closed' sign for her shop was constantly shown in the window, prohibiting potential clients and customers from entering. Even if the shop had been open, customers and clients wouldn't have been able to get in due to the front door being locked. Needless to say, rumors were spread regarding what was wrong with Rarity. Some ponies said, “Maybe she committed suicide.” Other ponies said, “Maybe she just wants to be alone. We shouldn't bother her.” These rumors were kept out of the ears of Sweetie Belle. The poor dear was worried enough already about her older sister. She didn't need to hear unsupported rumors about her sister that may or may not be true. So, the little filly was kept at home with the others while Applejack went into town for supplies or groceries. If anypony was talking about her more than anypony else, it was definitely her friends and her therapist, Twilight. They were constantly talking, creating theories about where she was and what she was up to. They didn't dare attempt to approach her shop and look into her windows to see what she was doing. They wouldn't have been able to, seeing as how the windows had either been boarded up or covered with curtains. Naturally, Sweetie Belle became increasingly worried about the whereabouts of her older sister. Sure, Applejack's had all the food that she could eat, but it didn't compare to living with her older sister. Of course they bickered and argued from time to time, but what pair of sisters didn't? Even though they did spend a great deal of their time arguing with each other, she knew that deep down Rarity truly did love and care for her. So why in blazes hadn't she come to pick her up yet? Was she really that depressed that she hadn't been able to yet get over Spike's death, even though it had been nearly a year and a half since it had occurred? What was going on? The only good thing about living with Applejack was that she'd been able to shed the weight she'd put on from her binge eating helping Applejack with the harvest and various other chores that needed tending to throughout the farm. Some ponies brave enough to go near the Carousel Boutique were only met with silence when they tried to get Rarity's attention and ask her if anything was wrong. The Boutique remained shrouded in mystery, covered in darkness as its inhabitant stubbornly refused to come out. Fearful that she was starving to death, some ponies and her friends made the generous, kind gesture of leaving food out at her front door. When they would come back a couple of hours later to see whether or not the food had been consumed, they would notice that the food had disappeared. Months turned to years and years turned into continuous worry and fear for Rarity's health and mental state. Sadly, nopony could get inside to interview her and ask her how she was. She remained a pony of mystery, her mental state and health never to be revealed. It finally became too much for Twilight and the other four. By order of Princess Celestia, they orchestrated a search and seizure of Carousel Boutique. Repeatedly, Princess Celestia ordered Rarity to come out of the Boutique, but received no response. The event caused quite a crowd, as everypony in Ponyville was curious as to why their oders hadn't been fulfilled by the famous Rarity. A team of guards was standing by the front doors, waiting for Princess Celestia to give the order, if need be. Fed up with Rarity refusing to acknowledge her presence, she gave them a nod and the front door was kicked in by the guards, providing a way in. Princess Celestia nodded towards Twilight and her friends, giving them permission to enter the Boutique. Twilight and her friends did so quietly and cautiously, not sure what exactly would happen when they entered the building. The sunlight pouring in through the hole where the front door used to be was their only means of light. They had to squint in order to make out everything and even then, they had a hard time making their way to the stairs. Luckily for them, they had been to Rarity's so many times that they could practically navigate throughout her home with their eyes closed. “Is it safe?” Sweetie Belle asked, poking her head inside the building. Twilight shook her head. “Just stay out there, Sweetie Belle! We'll let you know when it's safe.” With that, she led the group upstairs to the hallway that led to Rarity's room. “Can you hear anything?” Applejack asked Twilight, who had her ear pressed up against the door. Sighing dejectedly, Twilight pulled away from the door and shook her head. “I hear nothing.” Rainbow Dash growled in frustration. “Enough talk! I say we bust the door down and drag her butt outside!” She charged at the door, only to be stopped halfway across the hallway by Applejack biting down on her tail and pulling her back. “Hold on there, missy,” Applejack said. “We can't just go chargin' in there like a bunch o' buffalo. That'd be rude.” “Who cares about being rude?!” Rainbow Dash exploded, getting to her hooves. “She's been ignoring us and everypony for years! She's the one being rude!” “Rainbow Dash, I understand you're frustrated,” Twilight said, “but barging in her room is no way to handle this.” She cleared her throat and turned back to the door. “Rarity? Are you in there? It's us!” “Your friends,” Fluttershy added quietly, smiling. A short silence followed. “Hello,” Pinkie Pie bellowed. “Come out, come out, wherever you are!” Twilight glared. “Pinkie Pie, please.” Once Pinkie Pie backed off, she faced the door. “Rarity, if you won't come out, we'll have to come in.” Behind her, she heard Rainbow Dash flap her wings in agitation. “Oh, for the love of–” Rainbow Dash yelled. “Rainbow, no,” Twilight ordered. Before anypony could do anything, Rainbow Dash bolted across the hallway, smashing her way in the bedroom. Unfortunately, she was going so fast that she couldn't stop in time and ended up slamming against the wall across the bedroom. She didn't have time to get out of the way and ended up with the busted door pinning her against the wall. A groan and a muffled, “Help . . . me . . .” was heard as the others entered the room. Fluttershy flew up and tended to Rainbow Dash while the others looked around the room in search of Rarity, but the unicorn didn't seem to be present in the room. “Maybe she's in another room,” Pinkie Pie said. Applejack gasped and pointed with a hoof. “There!” She was pointing across the room at Rarity's bed, which had curtains closed around it. “C'mon, y'all.” She led the way to the bed. Rainbow Dash shook off the dazed feeling and flew over along with the others, although now she had a headache. “Do you think she could be here?” Twilight asked Applejack. “Don't know,” Applejack replied. “Won't know 'til we pull back the curtain, I suppose.” She took the curtain in her mouth and pulled it back. Her eyes grew wide and her mouth fell open when she beheld what lie on the bed. “Oh, my . . .” she mumbled, taking a few steps back to get a full view of the display. Nopony said anything. Nopony did anything. Which was just as well, as none of them could think of anything to do or say. They simply stared, wide-eyed, mouths agape, at what was before them, their brains unable to fully process exactly what they were seeing. The only sound heard was the sound of Fluttershy silently weeping. The others, on the other hoof, didn't move or bat an eyelash. Their eyes never left the bed, for on it was Rarity's body, not moving, not breathing. Just lying there. Her eyes didn't move, nor did they flutter open. Her corpse lied in the bed, rotting. And around her hoof was the lifeless body of Spike the dragon.
Chapter 1Whiskey Lullaby Rarity held her breath in silent awe as she stared down at the purple dragon lying face-down in his basket. Clutched in his hand was a note. She hesitated before lifting the note up to where it was eye-level with her and reading it. Her mouth dropped, but she otherwise did not move. She continued to read the note over and over again. The note fluttered down to the floor as the light blue aura surrounding it suddenly disappeared, and she continued to stare down at the purple dragon before her, mouth agape. She wasn't entirely sure of how to react to what she was seeing. Perhaps it was all just a dream. Yes, that was it; this was all just a horrid nightmare. Pretty soon she would awake in her bed, protected by her bed sheets. Opalescence would be at the foot of her bed, curled up in a little ball. Any moment now she would wake up; all she had to do was concentrate. She closed her eyes and pictured herself in her bed, safe and warm. She opened her eyes and realized that this was not a dream; this was real. Everything that she was seeing right now was real. With this realization, she had no other choice but to act. She should at least make sure that he was still alive. She gently nudged him, not getting any response. She nudged him a bit harder. Again, no response. Finally, she gently rolled him over to find that his eyes were closed. A sad look was on his face. Her worry overcame her. Maybe he was just sleeping. If he was, then his chest would have been rising and falling in time with his breathing, and it wasn't. Maybe Twilight would be able to deduce what was wrong with him. If he wasn't breathing, then that surely meant that he must be . . . She shook her head. No. She wasn't going to think that way. She would remain positive. He couldn't be dead. He just couldn't be! If he was, she didn't think she could live with herself. She wouldn't be able to live with the consequences. What would her friends think of her when they learned that she was, pretty much, the sole cause of his demise? They would abandon her, wouldn't they? They would stop speaking to her. If such was the case, she wouldn't blame them if they did. If she was in fact the cause behind this, then she was no better than a murderer. She paced back and forth across the library, her hoofbeats echoing off the wooden walls that made up the room that Twilight and Spike shared, her anxiety getting greater and greater the longer she waited. Where on Earth was Twilight?! She sighed and fell on her haunches, looking down at the floor as a single tear ran down the right side of her face. The lump in her throat bobbed up and down as she struggled to get a hold of her emotions. She couldn't let her dark thoughts get the best of her, at least not until she was certain that the worse had come to pass. Once Twilight finally arrived at the library, Rarity practically sprinted down the stairs to the main entrance, nearly running into Twilight in the process. She skidded to a halt in front of her. Automatically, Twilight suspected that something was wrong purely by the terrified look on Rarity's face. She cocked her head to the side. “Rarity, what is it?” She didn't even need to ask if something was wrong. It took a moment for Rarity to get her emotions in control before responding. She almost burst into tears, but kept the waterworks in check, at least long enough to tell Twilight what was going on. “It's Spike. Something's wrong with him.” Twilight sped past Rarity, knocking her back on her haunches while she raced up the stairs to her bedroom to find that Spike was lying on his back, eyes closed, a sad expression plastered on his face. She didn't move even when she heard Rarity come up the stairs. “Did you find him this way?” Rarity nodded her head. “Yes. I wasn't sure about what to do, so I waited for you to get here. What do you think, Twilight? What's wrong with him? Is he . . .” She hesitated to even say it, much less think it. “Dead?” Twilight swallowed hard at the very suggestion. She gave Rarity no response; she simply lowered her head towards Spike, pressing her ear against Spike's chest. It felt as if she was trying to swallow a pebble when she realized that his heart wasn't beating. She gulped and immediately began attempting to perform CPR, to no avail. Her breathing became heavier as she attempted CPR repeatedly with no results. The tears came as she finally broke down and began crying. She was comforted as Rarity nuzzled her cheek. *** Rarity stood silently, watching Spike's coffin being buried underneath the tree that she and her friends stood under, along with many friends and family that either knew Spike or came to show their condolences. She looked across from her where Applejack and Rainbow Dash stood. Both were glaring, luckily not at her, but at the tombstone that lay directly underneath the tree. Neither she or her friends had spoken much within the past few days. They hadn't even visited one another to see how the other was doing. They had all kept to themselves, each one of them dealing with the tragedy in their own way. It was almost funny in a way, as they usually attacked problems together as a team, a family. When it came right down to it, they were more than best friends: they were a family. Families were supposed to stick together and support each other, but it seemed as if Spike's death was slowly but surely making it so that they didn't want to be around each other. She was curious as to how the others were coping with the recent tragedy that had befallen them. Of all the things that they had been through during their friendship, this was probably the hardest thing that they had to go through. Of course they all knew that each of them would die eventually, one right after the other, but none of them expected one of their own would die so soon in such a swift manner. It was quite surreal, like a horrid nightmare that would never end. The burial came to a close and the group went their separate ways, as if none of them wanted to be there any more than the other did. Rarity watched as her friends went off in different directions, not saying a word to one another. She turned her head, choking while watching her friends quickly run. Rainbow Dash fired off like a rocket across the sky, leaving an iridescent streak behind her in her wake, her tail and mane flapping in the breeze. If anyone had been affected by this tragedy, it was definitely Twilight; she had been the one closest to Spike, after all. This struck Rarity as odd, as she suspected that she should have been the one most affected by Spike's death, seeing as how she was the first one to find him dead in the library. In a way, she was just as much affected by his suicide as Twilight. A bottle of whiskey lay near his basket, the cause of death being alcohol poisoning. He had literally drunk himself to death, the alcohol consumption being too much for his small body. Twilight had no reason to feel guilty regarding Spike's death, seeing as how he wasn't mad at her for any reason, Rarity realized as she sat at her kitchen table drinking some hot coffee. If anyone felt guilty, it was her. She could still recall the incident that, more than likely, led to Spike's depression and alcoholism. *** She had been busy working on one of her latest fashion designs. Ribbons were snipped and measurements were taken. Designs were drawn and redrawn repeatedly, most ending up crumpled in the trashcan when they didn't meet her satisfaction. She heard the door open and close, but merely dismissed it as Sweete Belle leaving to do some crazy experiment with her friends in order to earn her cutie marks. After a second or two, she went back to her work. It was only when she heard a small cough that she turned. She was taken aback to see Spike standing behind her. Looking down, she noticed an envelope in his hand. She swallowed. “I'm afraid this isn't the best time, Spike. I'm busy filling an order. Is this important?” She lifted a hoof to adjust her glasses. He swallowed and took a step back, looking somewhat hurt by her statement. He looked down at the envelope in his hand. He jumped when the envelope was suddenly lifted from his hand, cast in a light blue aura. He watched as she merely glanced at the envelope and dismissed it as yet another order before setting it aside. She once again addressed him, asking him if he wanted anything. He shook his head and replied softly, “No.” She nodded. “Very well. May I please go back to work, then?” He bit his lip. “Y-Yeah. S-S-S-Sure.” She smiled at him and gently patted him on the head before turning back to her mannequin and continuing to do her work. *** She sighed, recalling the memory. She took another sip of her coffee, but immediately spat it back into the mug upon realizing that the coffee had gone cold. She set the mug down and pushed it away from her, resting her hoofs on her cheeks as she leaned forward, looking straight ahead. She recalled the envelope that Spike had had with him when he'd entered her shop. She hadn't opened it. She hadn't even so much as glanced at it since the dragon's passing. How could she have been so stupid? Spike didn't deliver orders for her. Why had he come to the boutique that day anyway, if not to give her an order to fill? Maybe it was important. She went in the room where she did her business, stopping when she approached the table where the envelope lay, where it'd laid since the day Spike had come in her shop. Slowly, she used her magic to rip open the envelope. A rolled up piece of parchment fell onto the table. The envelope was flipped over to see her name written in cursive on the front. It was set aside on the table, the light blue aura replacing the envelope for the letter. The letter was levitated up so that it was at eye-level with her. She started to read . . . Dearest Rarity, Words cannot express my gratitude to you for teaching me about the meaning of love, about what it means to love someone unconditionally. Sure, Twilight and I are very close to each other. You know as well as I do that I'd do anything for her, but I hope that you know that I'd do anything for you as well. I love you and the rest of my friends dearly. But you . . . I love you most of all. I know you don't feel the same way I do about you, so I don't expect you to return my feelings for you. But, I do hope that you will grant me the common courtesy to at least consider me as more than a friend. I know you don't think this way, but I really think you and me could be happy together. Just think about it and get back to me whenever you can. Love from, Spike She read the letter over and over again, each time getting more choked up than the last. The letter fluttered to the floor as her magic released its hold on the parchment. She watched it fall to the floor and continued staring at it for a full minute or so before finally falling into a crumbled heap on the floor, softly sobbing to herself. Oh, how stupid she'd been! He hadn't been giving her an order to fill; he had been giving her a very heartfelt love letter, and she'd just cast it aside as if it were nothing! No wonder he'd looked so distraught afterward. She should have known that the letter meant something to him, that she meant everything to him. How could she have been so blind?! Her sobs began to come in soft whimpers while she picked herself up off the floor. Her legs wobbled as she struggled to regain her composure, but found that this was a lot harder due to the emotional weight that had been hoisted onto her back. She bit her lip in an effort to keep in the guilt-ridden scream that she so desperately wanted to be let out. When she kept it in, she felt her stomach knot up. Her chest felt tight. Was this what it felt like to keep one's emotions bottled up inside? Oh, God, it felt ghastly! How did anypony live with themselves with these horrible feelings weighing them down? She visibly cringed when the feelings began to make her sick to her stomach. She realized that she would need to consult somepony, anypony, in order to rid her of these horrible feelings. She supposed that the pony that she should talk to first was Twilight. After all, Spike had been her number one assistant, and losing him had probably dealt her a terrible blow that was more than likely more devastating than how Rarity felt now. Author's Note Constructive criticism is appreciated.
Chapter 2Chapter 2 It wasn't possible. No matter how hard she tried, Rarity could not get Spike off her mind. Worst yet was the fact that guilt, more than anything else, was often accompanied with these thoughts. She wasn't exactly sure why she felt so guilty regarding the dragon's passing; maybe it was because she'd had a hoof in his death. If it weren't for her and casting aside his heartfelt love letter with such a cold heart, maybe he would still be here. No, that wasn't possible. Even if she'd taken the time to read his letter, he still would have been depressed because she'd rejected him. Either way, he would have committed suicide. Or at least that's the way she looked at it. Ever since Spike's death, she'd become less and less motivated to take part in her business. An order would come, needing to be filled, only for her to cast it aside while she rolled over to get a couple more hours of sleep. Balled up wet tissues covered her bed from the many nights she'd stayed up trying to get to sleep. Her sleeping schedule had been thrown out of whack due to this. She couldn't help but wonder how the others were doing. Surely they weren't doing any better than her. They were probably more distressed than she was. Twilight especially had to be as affected as her considering the fact that she was the one who was closest to him. The purple unicorn had practically been like a mother to him, showing him guidance and wisdom as he'd grown up, once he'd been handed over to her after she'd become of legal age to look after him, of course. Somehow, she managed to drag herself out of bed and downstairs to the first floor with the little energy she had. Blinking, she looked at herself in the mirror, only for her eyes to pop open at how horrid she looked. Her mane and tail were a mangled mess. There were bags and crust underneath her eyes. Her nose was running. There was dirt within her ears. Before she did anything, she would need to doll herself up before going to visit her friend. After a quick hot shower and a combing, she at least looked presentable enough to go visit Twilight. She left a note on the front door of the Boutique and made her way towards the Ponyville library. She gently knocked on the door and was soon greeted by Twilight, who quickly ushered her in. “How are you?” Twilight asked. Rarity simply shook her head. Twilight frowned. “That bad?” “What about you? How have you been holding up?” “I've been doing okay. My studies have been helping me keep my mind off things.” “Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. You should have time to grieve, darling. It's not going to do you any good to keep your emotions bottled up inside like that.” Twilight nodded. “You're right. How have you been dealing with it?” “I haven't really spoken to anyone since it happened, really. I've mostly kept myself in my room, in bed. I barely had any energy to come over here. I've been eating regularly, though I must say that I haven't had much of an appetite lately.” “I haven't either, to be honest.” Both looked down before Rarity suddenly perked up. “I've got it! Why don't we go out and have a drink?” Twilight gave her a confused look. “You mean like at the bar?” “Exactly!” Twilight shook her head. “I don't know.” “It'll help us get our mind off things. Besides, it's not like I have anything better to do. We can get something to eat first, and then we can go out and get a drink. Come on, it'll be fun.” Twilight thought about it for a moment or two before finally looking up at Rarity and nodding her head. “Okay, let's do it. It sounds like fun. I've been spending too much time in this library anyway. It'd be good to get some fresh air.” Rarity smiled. “Great.” After eating at a local restaurant located within the square of Ponyville, Twilight and Rarity made their way towards the bar located not too far away from Ponyville–Ten Green Bottles. They entered, looking around for any of their friends. Not recognizing anypony, they approached the bar and sat down. Rarity ordered a brandy while Twilight, not exactly familiar with alcoholic beverages, ordered white wine. They both sat drinking their beverages in silence. Every now and then, they would glance at each other. Otherwise, they didn't say a word. “Why do you think he did it?” For the first time since they'd entered the bar, Twilight made eye contact with Rarity. “What would make him want to kill himself?” For the longest time, Rarity didn't say anything in response; she simply stared down at the honey-colored liquid in her glass. “If I were ever to meet the one responsible,” Twilight said, causing Rarity to look at her. She shook her head. “I don't know what I'd do.” Rarity looked back at her glass. She lifted it to her lips and drained it. Setting it back down on the bar, she called to the bartender, “Can I get another one, please?” After her night of drinking with Twilight, who hadn't drunk that much, Rarity found herself escaping reality through the Ponyville bar. At first, it started off as a small glass of rum and whatnot. It soon spiraled into full-blown alcoholism where she was drinking heavily even at home. She kept a stash of alcoholic beverages underneath her bed and would drink a bottle or two when she couldn't get to sleep. The alcohol didn't seem to be working, though. Regardless of how much she drank, Spike continued to plague her mind. She couldn't even concentrate on her work anymore because of how consumed her thoughts were about Spike and what she'd done to him and what it'd led to. She was at least grateful that Twilight didn't appear to be digging any further into why Spike would off himself. Still, she surely should have noticed something was wrong with him when he'd started drinking. Not only that, but he'd been rather distant with the whole lot of them, slacking off on his chores and spending most of his time sleeping. Whether it was from a hangover or depression, she wasn't entirely sure. Twilight must have known something was wrong with him since she'd voiced her concerns to her friends on numerous occasions. Still feeling guilty, Rarity hadn't said anything regarding Spike's behavior.. Of course, she hadn't known that he'd been drinking back then. She'd surely noticed that he was quite depressed, however. She figured that if she simply ignored it and acted like it was nothing, then it would simply go away and she would be able to forget about it. The memory wasn't leaving her, sadly. When she wasn't sleeping and dreaming about him, she saw his face everywhere. She would sometimes go outside and gaze at the clouds to get her mind off things, only for the clouds to remind her of him. Perhaps her mind was simply playing tricks on her, the guilt getting the best of her. It wasn't just her mind. All of her senses seemed to remind her of Spike. The air had the scent of his breath. The chilly winds had his touch. Voices she wasn't familiar with had his tone and childlike giddiness. She simply could not get away from him, no matter what she did. Perhaps she simply needed to tell someone that Spike might have offed himself because of her. But would her friends continue to accept her if she did? Would they abandon her and refuse to ever have anything to do with her? Would Fluttershy stop going to the spa with her? Despite the circumstances, the two of them had continued to go on their weekly trips to the spa. It was a grand way to escape from the reality outside of the spa that they had to face. Of course, Fluttershy had had to work up enough energy to go with her. Like the others, she was quite depressed and honestly didn't feel like doing anything else besides sleeping and taking care of her animal friends. Still, the tranquility that the spa provided didn't stop Fluttershy from asking Rarity how she was doing and why Spike would even consider killing himself. Rarity supposed that she should have been expecting all of her friends to be asking that question. Sure, he was depressed, but none of them had thought that he would actually kill himself. Rarity hadn't just had a hoof in Spike killing himself. When it came down to it, they all supposed that they were all guilty. None of them had bothered to take the time to question him as to how he was doing or if they could do anything to cheer him up. At the very least, Twilight had attempted to do this by making special meals for him and selflessly taking time out of her studies to take him to the park or to Sugarcube Corner to get him something to eat, noticing that he hadn't been eating regularly. She'd even fixed him a bowl of gems that he hadn't touched, much less bothered to look at. Realizing this, it made sense that Rarity wasn't the only one feeling guilty regarding Spike's death. They all felt the sting of his death lingering on their minds and lives. All of them were finding it hard, if not downright impossible, to move on with their lives following the tragedy that had befallen their family. Many of them found it hard to continue on with their work and businesses. Even Twilight had said a number of times that she'd had so little energy that she merely spent much of her time in bed, going many a night without reading a single paragraph of even one chapter of a book. Even so, Rarity found it very hard to get any sleep throughout the night due to the fact that Spike was constantly on her mind. She supposed she couldn't have been the only one. Surely Twilight had to be losing as much sleep as she had been. Naturally, this made it so that she had very little energy throughout the day and she found herself wandering to her bed in need of a nap on many days. Even coffee and food didn't provide her with the energy she needed. Still, she ate a little bit of something, if just to keep her strength up. Throughout the day, she couldn't help but wonder how the others were doing. They hadn't spoken much since the tragedy had struck, keeping to themselves most of the time and opting to stay inside their homes, not wandering out. She figured that if anypony was going to take charge, it had to be her. Sure, it would be hard as they went along. Considering the fact that they'd conquered every villain that had been thrown at them, she figured they could easily conquer the pain of losing a loved one. All she had to do was make them see that they couldn't let a tragedy divide them. Before she did that, though, she supposed she should have closure with herself before trying to bring the others to closure herself. She found that this was easier said than done. She'd become so accustomed to drinking throughout the day that she found it quite hard to even make herself coffee without adding just a little bit of alcohol to the beverage. Even her sweet tea contained a small amount of it. It wasn't enough to where she was so hammered that she couldn't take two steps without tripping all over herself. She was somewhat buzzed, though. It was only after the alcohol had worn off, after a few hours at least, that she would attempt to get to work on filling out the orders that she had piled up, only to find that concentrating on her work was even harder under the influence of alcohol. She eventually got tired of trying to do any work and decided that some fresh air would do her some good. Grabbing Opalescence, she thought that it would be good to go to the park. Even if it was for a little while, it would be good to feel the sun on her fur. She honestly wasn't expecting to run into anypony while at the park. She bumped into Fluttershy, who was busy having a picnic with her woodland friends in the shade underneath a tree. She led Opal over to the group and sat down. She smiled when Fluttershy looked over at her. “So, how have you been, dear?” “Fine,” Fluttershy stated. She looked down and took a sip of her tea. “Oh.” She moved closer to the cream-colored pegasus. “Have you heard from Twilight or any of the others? Maybe Rainbow Dash?” Fluttershy shook her head. “No, I haven't. I've been stuck in my house most of the time for the past couple of weeks taking care of Angel.” “Would you be up to going with me to the spa this weekend? A mud bath would fix you right up.” Fluttershy smiled at the offer. “That would be nice. A mud bath would probably relieve me of my nerves.” Rarity suddenly frowned. “Do you think they're all right? The others, I mean.” Fluttershy nodded. “I'm sure they're fine. Of course, it wouldn't hurt to go and check.” “You're probably right. We should really get back in touch. It's been so long since we've done anything together.” “I'm sorry, Rarity.” “No need to apologize, darling. It's quite all right, really. I've not been up to doing anything as of late either.” “Oh.” A brief silence fell over them. Fluttershy gently pushed a plate towards her friend. “You hungry? I made an extra sandwich just in case Angel was hungrier than usual.” Rarity stared down at the sandwich for a moment or two before gratefully taking it and beginning to eat. It wasn't exactly the most appetizing thing in the world, but considering that she hadn't eaten lunch yet, she wasn't about to complain. Silence fell over the two as Rarity ate her lunch and Fluttershy drank her tea. The two watched as Fluttershy's forest friends frolicked not too far ahead of them, rolling around on the ground and playing with each other. Even Rarity had to admit that the sight was quite adorable. She was just glad that Opalescence was getting along with the others. The cat wasn't actually keen on company. Once she'd finished her meal and wiped her mouth off, Rarity added, “I might go by Spike's grave sometime today. I'd gladly invite you and the others to join me, but I'd rather go alone, honestly. It's a personal thing. Besides, the flowers on his grave are starting to wither.” “I'm sure no matter what flowers you pick, they'll be beautiful,” Fluttershy stated. “You've always had a keen eye for that sort of thing.” Rarity smiled down at her as she got up from her sitting position. “So I'll see you on Saturday at eleven at the spa, correct?” Fluttershy nodded. “I'll try to be there.” “Wonderful.” She turned her head towards her pet. “Opal! Come along, darling, we must be going!” The cat ran over to her and began following at her heels. Author's Note Constructive criticism is appreciated.
Chapter 3 Chapter 3 Chapter 3 She didn't see the point in going to bed. It wasn't as if she was going to get much sleep, anyway. Even if she did, her dreams would only distract her.. That's all they were, really. They were nothing more than an illusion, a fantasy brought on by her imagination, of what she wanted to be real. She knew that her dreams only showed her what she wanted to be real, something she could never have. She sighed dejectedly to herself as she slipped into bed, her bedsheets and comforter providing her with warmth. The room was somewhat chilly. Oddly enough, her bed provided her with some comfort, but it wasn't enough to relieve her of the guilt and hurt that consumed her day and night. She sighed, slipping a hoof underneath her pillow. She rolled over onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. She had no idea how she was going to fix the damage that she'd done. As far as she knew, none of her friends knew that she'd had a hoof in Spike's demise. While it would have been better to keep things that way, if only to save face, she knew that the truth had to come out eventually. She couldn't just let them wallow in their ignorance regarding Spike's death. She was sure that Twilight, being the crafty unicorn she was, was already starting to piece together the puzzle. After all, Rarity had been the last one to see Spike alive, and she was sure that Twilight had noticed that Spike's demeanor had changed soon after her rejection of him. He had become sluggish, more socially withdrawn, and had begun sleeping longer hours, and been in a more depressed state of mind. Surely Twilight had noticed that something was wrong and she had more than likely asked him to explain himself why he isolated himself from the group. Given his depression, Rarity doubted that he had given Twilight anything resembling a response. It took a little over seven minutes, but she finally managed to get to sleep. She just hoped that her dreams tonight would be just as pleasant as they had been in the past. *** Rarity found herself being pulled. It wasn't forceful; it was more like gliding. Looking around, she found that she was being pulled by way of a couple of stallions while snow fell from all directions. She was seated, quite comfortably, mind you, in a chariot. Looking over the side of the chariot, she noticed that she was a long way off the ground. Turning back around, she jumped upon spotting Spike sitting beside her. He smiled brightly at her. “Having a good time?” “Oh, um . . .” She took another moment to look around, then smiled back at him. “Why, yes.” His smile, if possible, brightened. “It's kind of cold out tonight. You want some hot chocolate?” She watched him bend over and pull out a tray that held a tea kettle and two teacups, seemingly from nowhere. He poured a cup for her first, then for himself, and gave it to her. She took it in her hooves. Steam mixed with the sight of her breath when she exhaled. She looked over at him to see that he had already downed his entire cup and was pouring himself another. She finally took a sip of the hot chocolate herself and a satisfying sigh escaped her mouth. Of course, the hot chocolate was in complete contrast to the chilly weather surrounding them. The warmth of the beverage spread from her mouth down to her hooves. The next thing that Spike pulled out was a little more believable, seeing as how it was entirely plausible. He lifted a leg and tugged a thick wool blanket from underneath his seat and gingerly wrapped it around her, pulling her close so that she could rest her head on his shoulder. “I hope you're having a good time.” She smiled up at him. “Oh, I am, darling. I am.” She sighed contently and snuggled up closer to him. She lifted her cup to her mouth to take another sip of hot chocolate. “This hot chocolate is simply splendid! Where did you get it?” “Applejack. It's an old family recipe.” “Hmm. I'll have to ask her to share the recipe with me sometime.” She felt him put his arm around her, tightly pinning the blanket to her body. Everything was so blissful that she could have easily fallen asleep if she wanted to. But wait. She was already asleep, wasn't she? Was any of this real? Or was it all in her head, like her previous imaginings had been? Perhaps. At the moment, she didn't care. She was too busy enjoying herself to think about it. Even if it was just her imagination, she was so at peace here that she didn't want to leave. Had she had her way, she wouldn't have. Even though it was just her and Spike, she was content. *** “Rarity . . .” Sweete Belle shook her older sister once again in an effort to get her up. “Rarity, get up already! I'm hungry.” At least this time she got a response, but it wasn't the response she was hoping for. The most she got was a mutter and a waving hoof, Rarity's way of saying, “Just five more minutes. Leave me alone.” Well, Sweete wasn't going to have any of that. She might not have been very skilled at magic, but that didn't mean she wasn't a novice when it came to it. Her horn glowed. Rarity cried out in a panic and made a desperate attempt to grab onto her pillow or anything that would keep her from floating off the bed. It was futile, however, as she was suddenly plummeted onto her bed, only to be levitated up towards the ceiling again. Repeatedly, she was bounced up and down upon her bed. There was only one way out of this. “Okay, okay, I'm up! I'm up!” Sweete Belle smiled and she slowly lowered her sister back onto the bed. Rarity groaned. “Quite a demanding little pest, aren't you?” She mockingly glared at her little sister, a smile letting Sweete know that she was only playing. Sweete smiled back. “That's what sisters are for.” Rarity got out of bed and began making it. “I suppose so. You could always think of a way to wake me up more peacefully, you know.” Sweete pouted. “But that wouldn't be as much fun.” “For you, maybe.” Sweete giggled. Rarity sighed. “I really wish you hadn't woken me. I was having the loveliest dream.” Her stomach growled. “On the other hoof, I am somewhat glad you woke me up as early as you did.” She looked over at the clock on her bedside table. It was only seven in the morning and she let out an annoyed groan. “Then again, maybe not. Anyway, I'm hungry. What say you and me go down to the kitchen and fix something. What sounds good?” “Pancakes.” The littlest unicorn jumped up and down happily. The sight reminded Rarity of Pinkie Pie. “Very well, then. Pancakes it is.” Honestly, Rarity was in no mood for cooking, or eating for that matter. If it would make Sweete happy, however, she was more than willing to look past her own needs to make her little sister happy. So, the two of them worked together to make pancakes. Rarity made the batter and Sweete poured the batter onto the pan. At one point, Sweete had attempted a flip, which hadn't ended up being successful. She had manged to do the flipping part, but the pancake itself had ended up on top of Rarity's head, part of it being pierced by her horn. The sight had made Sweete giggle and, despite her mood, had made Rarity chuckle to herself as well. After a warm breakfast, Sweete was off with Applebloom and Scootaloo to play in the park, leaving Rarity to her own devices. She promised Rarity that she would be safe, then dashed out the door. It was an odd thing for Rarity to go through. For the first time in her fife, she didn't feel like sewing or making dresses. She blamed her depression due to Spike's passing being the cause of this. She didn't want to do anything but lie in bed and attempt to return to her dream. What was it about again? Oh, blast it all! She'd gotten so distracted by making pancakes and her odd sullen mood that she couldn't even remember what her own dream had been about! And it had been such a wonderful dream, too. Or had it? She couldn't recollect. She couldn't help but wonder how the others were doing without Spike around. She was sure that they were all just as miserable as she was. They had to be. It wasn't possible for them to be moving on with their lives after the tragedy that had struck their family. Even if they had managed to move on with their lives, there was no guarantee that they didn't stop to reflect on Spike's passing and their feelings regarding it. Twilight was certainly going through hell trying to get over her number one assistant's passing. She had told Twilight herself that Twilight needed to give herself time to grief. She hoped that Twilight was taking her words to heart and taking at least a little time out of her day to grieve. *** Applejack had been worried about Rainbow Dash since the day of Spike's funeral. It seemed that the rainbow-maned pony had been one of the most displeased regarding Spike's passing. Aside from Applejack, she had been the only one outright glaring at the tombstone as the coffin was being lowered into the ground. The two of them hadn't spoken much since then. Come to think of it, the Mane Six hadn't interacted much at all since that day, and Applejack couldn't help but be curious as to how Rainbow Dash was holding up regarding the recent events. After a quick visit to Twilight's to have the cloud walking spell performed on her, it was off to Rainbow Dash's. She had to stop and stare at Rainbow Dash's home. This was really the first time that she'd gotten the chance to actually see her friend's home. It was quite beautiful, really. The cloud served as the foundation for the home. A few feet away from the home itself was a fountain that shot up rainbow-colored water. At various points along the home were waterfalls of rainbow-colored water. The home itself was the same color as Rainbow Dash's coat: cyan blue. The home was about two stories and a little bigger than Applejack had expected. The only issue that Applejack saw was actually getting up to the home. She supposed that the best option would just be to call for Rainbow Dash and hopefully, the cyan pegasus would pick her up and carry her up to her home. Taking a deep breath, she shouted Rainbow Dash's name. She expected that she'd yelled loud enough for half of Ponyville to hear her. She waited patiently and when there was no response after two minutes, she tried yet again. She cursed under her breath when she received no response. Rainbow Dash was either ignoring her or was too depressed to come to the door. The only other way to get up to the porch would be to have somepony throw her up high enough for her to reach it. This plan would have worked had there been anypony around to actually do the task. She looked up when she heard a creak. Rainbow Dash slowly drifted down to her level. “Hey, Rainbow. How are you doing?” Rainbow Dash yawned and lifted a hoof to rub at one of her eyes. “Hi, Applejack.” She bent down to stretch. “I've been doing okay, I guess.” “Would it be all right if I come inside?” She looked up at Rainbow Dash's wonderful home yet again. “I suppose so.” She picked up Applejack and soared up to her home, landing on the porch. She gently pushed the door open and invited Applejack to go in first. The farm pony smiled warmly at her and walked in. Rainbow Dash's home wasn't as tidy as Applejack had expected. There was overturned furniture, broken pictures, feathers and cotton all over the floor. Some pictures weren't even broken, just sitting askew on the walls. There were several bottles of cider lying along the floor, as well as many empty packages of food. Applejack gawked at the mess. Rainbow Dash gave a nervous chuckle. “Heh. Sorry about the mess. I guess I haven't been feeling so well after all.” She started towards the kitchen. “Can I get you anything? A drink? Something to eat?” Applejack came out of her trance and shook her head. “Thank you kindly, but no thank you. I'd like to talk to you.” “In that case, I'll fix us some cider.” She walked over to a machine that was in the kitchen. She retrieved two mugs from the cabinet above the stove and pressed down on one of the levers of the machine, filling the first mug up with cider. It had been a machine that the Apple family had worked on together and had given to Rainbow Dash as a birthday present so that she didn't have to wait in line during cider season and could have cider whenever she wanted. It seemed as if Rainbow Dash had been abusing that kind of power as of late. Applejack was actually kind of surprised that Rainbow Dash wasn't drunk off her hindquarters. The two of them sat down on the living room couch, their mugs of cider placed on the coffee table. “So, RD, how have you been holding up?” Applejack took a moment to look around the room. “Not very well, I reckon.” Rainbow Dash shook her head. “No, not very well. I can't sleep. Oddly enough, I've had a spike in my appetite lately, whatever that means.” Applejack chuckled. “I think it means you've been doing a little bit o' binging for the past few days.” She playfully poked Rainbow Dash's slightly distended stomach. “Yeah, okay, so I've put on a couple of pounds. So what?” She glared and snorted, blowing Applejack's mane to the side. Applejack gave her a concerned look. “Sugarcube, are you sure you're okay? I don't feel right about leaving you here by your lonesome. I don't want you doing something you'll regret.” Rainbow Dash tapped a hoof against her chin in thought. “I have been feeling kind of lonely lately. I suppose it wouldn't hurt to get out of the house for a while, get some fresh air.” Applejack hugged her. “Wonderful! While you're out, we can check up on Rarity and the others, see how they're doing.” She took a swig of her cider. “Sure thing.” “If you want, I'd be more than happy to help you clean up this mess.” “We can do that later. Right now I feel like stretching my legs.” She hunched over and allowed her wings to come to life. “What do you say to a little race, for old times' sake.” Applejack smiled and tipped her hat. “Sounds like fun.” “On your mark, get set, go!” Rainbow Dash said this so fast that Applejack barely had time to understand what she'd said before she was flying out the door. “Hey! Get back here! You cheated!” Applejack took off after her. Rainbow Dash laughed happily as she sprinted down the dirt road. Even though Applejack was still miffed about her cheating, she couldn't hide the smile on her face upon hearing Rainbow Dash laugh so gayly. *** “Thank you, come again,” Pinkie Pie said happily to the customer. She handed him his box of goodies and watched him walk off. She smiled brightly when she saw Fluttershy come up to the counter. “Hey, Fluttershy! What can I get for you?” She wiped off the counter with a cloth. “Oh, um . . .” Fluttershy bent down to look at the various sweets that lined the shelves. “Oh, my, they all look good!” She stomped her hoof in frustration. “Oh! I can't choose. What would you recommend, Pinkie Pie?” “Ooh, that's a toughie. Hmm. Well, we have strudel, turnovers, eclairs, sweet rolls–” “Whichever you think is the best is fine.” Pinkie Pie chuckled. “In that case, I'll give you one of everything.” “Oh, uh, okay. H-How much will that be?” “It's on the house. You really look like you could use some sweets in your belly.” She filled a bag with one of everything from the shelves and pushed the bag towards the cream-colored pegasus. “Enjoy!” Fluttershy smiled gratefully and took the bag in her mouth. “Thanks. I'm sure I will.” She set the bag on the floor and gave her friend a serious look. “You seem pretty upbeat considering everything that's happened recently.” Pinkie Pie shook her head. “It's true. There are some days that are dark and lonely, and sometimes I do feel sad. But then I remember that my friends are there to show that it's really not so bad.” She grinned. Her smile seemed to be too big for her face. Fluttershy frowned. “Pinkie Pie, we had a very close friend just die. Doesn't that make you feel the least bit–” “Excuse me!” Both mares looked to see a stallion glaring at the two of them. “Could you two please continue this conversation some other time! I would like to get my order before sundown!” “Here you are, sir,” Pinkie Pie replied, stretching out a bag for him. The stallion grabbed his bag and snorted in Pinkie's face before turning and storming out of the store. Fluttershy nodded her head, agreeing with the enraged stallion's statement. “Perhaps we should continue this conversation some other time, Pinkie, when you're not working, that is.” “Of course, Fluttershy! If it's convenient for you, I'll be at your place this afternoon.” “I'm supposed to have Rarity over for tea this afternoon. Perhaps maybe at a later time, if that's okay with you. I mean, if that's not a problem, that is.” “Can do!” “Okay. So, I'll see you around seven.” “Sounds good to me. I'll bring dinner. We'll make a date out of it.” Fluttershy swallowed. “A date?” *** Rarity let out a sigh of relief upon spotting Fluttershy coming out of Sugarcube Corner with a bag of sweets in her mouth. “Fluttershy, darling, there you are!” She trotted over to the yellow pegauss and began walking alongside her. “Are you all right, dear? We haven't talked in so long. We really should go to the spa again sometime. It's so rejuvenating! It really feels like all of your problems are just melting away.” Fluttershy smiled at the idea. “That sounds wonderful. Do you still want to have tea with me?” “Why, of course, dear. Lead the way.” After a short silence, she asked, “So, have you spoken to any of the others since the . . . uh, 'incident.'” “Yes, I just got done talking with Pinkie Pie. She seems very happy considering the circumstances. But, she's the only one I've been able to talk to. I haven't been out of my cottage in such a long time. I just came into town today to get some food. I've been so depressed lately that I can't seem to find the energy to do anything besides feed myself and my animal friends.” Rarity gave her friend an encouraging smile. “Believe me, Fluttershy, we all know how you feel. Don't worry, though. I'm sure things will turn around . . . in a year or so.” “Oh, goodness. I don't think I can wait that long to feel happy again.” “Don't fret.” She nuzzled Fluttershy. “If we can survive being brainwashed and turned against each other, petty arguments, and instances of selfishness and neglect, we can certainly get through this.” “I have no doubt.” “Wonderful! What have you got there?” She pointed to the bag in Fluttershy's mouth. “Oh, just some sweets I picked up from Sugarcube Corner. I'd be more than happy to share with you.” “I don't normally partake in sweets, but since it's lunchtime and I haven't eaten anything yet, what's the harm? Like a couple of sweets are going to hurt.” *** “You know, in hindsight, I should have stopped after that eclair,” Rarity groaned. Fluttershy chuckled. “Don't worry about it, Rarity.” Using her head, she helped Rarity sit up. “It just means you have good taste in food.” “I suppose you're right. A nap should do the trick in quelling my upset stomach.” She took a sip of her sweet tea. “So, you say that you haven't been out of your cottage in quite a while?” Fluttershy sat down in front of her friend. “That's right. Why do you ask?” “I've been thinking about Twilight lately. Do you think she's having just as hard a time as us, even more?” “It's possible. The two of them were very close, like brother and sister even. Of course Twilight would be devastated about his passing.” She shook her head slightly, her pink mane swaying to and fro. “I've been trying to figure out what could have caused him to want to end his life so abruptly. I'm sure the others have been trying to figure it out too, Twilight doubly so.” Rarity nodded in agreement. “Quite right. It makes absolute sense that she would want to find out why her closest friend since fillyhood would want to off himself.” “Do you think she's figured it out yet?” “I don't know.” At least I hope not, she thought. “We should go visit her sometime, make sure she's okay.” “Excellent idea, Fluttershy. But,” she cringed as another shoot of pain ran through her stomach, “it'll have to wait. You wouldn't mind me taking a nap here, would you?” Fluttershy shook her head. “Of course not. You can sleep in my bed. It's time for me to feed my animal friends anyway, and then I'll find something quiet to do so you can rest.” “Thank you ever so much, dearie. Wake me up in an hour or so, would you?” “Okay.” *** Twilight let out a frustrated growl and tossed the book across the room. It was no use. She couldn't concentrate. She glared daggers at the book until her eyes fell on Spike's basket. Aside from tidying it up, she hadn't touched his basket since his passing. The blanket was neatly laid out and the pillow fluffed. She inhaled shakily and continued to stare at the basket. Why hadn't she gotten rid of it by now? Why wasn't she moving on with her life and furthering her studies? It was simple: she couldn't. Since she had hatched him, she had practically been like a mother to him, helping Celestia and her parents take care of him. When he'd been old enough, he'd been permitted to go live with Twilight and her family. The group had treated him as one of the family. He would sit next to Twilight at mealtime and the two of them would talk and play when Twilight wasn't busy studying magic. It had been such a wonderful time, but also a sad one. Because she was so enthusiastic about her studies, she hadn't exactly bothered going out and making friends. Aside from Shining Armor, Cadence, Celestia and her parents, Spike was the only friend she had. Since they were older and had responsibilities, her family and teacher couldn't be bothered to spend as much time with her as they would have liked. It had been a very lonely and sometimes depressing childhood. She had luckily had Spike around to spend time with. Now that he was gone, she felt as if a part of herself had been taken. Her spirit had been destroyed, her heart broken in two, her enthusiasm for anything crushed. How was she supposed to concentrate on her reading when all she could think about was her little baby dragon? “Twilight . . .” Her ear flickered. She turned her head, looking around. She'd thought that maybe she'd heard Spike's voice. Maybe she was just delirious from grief. Her mind was more than likely playing tricks on her. After all, she had literally lost track of time. She didn't know what month it was, much less the day. It could have been Tuesday, for all she knew. She hadn't been getting much sleep. Anytime she closed her eyes, all she could see was Spike's lifeless body lying in his basket, and her efforts to revive him had been futile, no matter how hard she'd tried. Oh, Celestia, she missed him so much! Out of all her friends, Spike had been the most loyal, the most kind. Yes, in her circle of friends, Spike had both Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy bested in terms of loyalty and kindness. He had never left her side, never failed to obey whatever she needed him to do. He was always eager to help, whatever she needed. Even when she'd strictly told him to stay at the top of the stairs when they'd been looking for the Crystal Heart, he had deliberately disobeyed her out of pure worry for her when she hadn't been responding to his calls. He had selflessly given up his precious gem to Rarity, even though he'd been saving it for his birthday. Though a mistake, he had selflessly devoted himself to Applejack after she'd saved his life, and he had selflessly offered to watch after their pets when they'd gone to the Crystal Empire to oversee the preparations for the Equestrian Games. She couldn't have asked for a better assistant. Scratch that. A better friend. He was more than just her assistant, and he'd proven that a number of times. The library was a mess from where he hadn't been around to clean it. She supposed that she could always clean it herself, but she never had the energy to do so. She mostly spent her time, enjoying the warmth of her bedsheets, hoping that maybe what had occurred had just been some horrid nightmare, that any moment now she would smell the sweet scents of Spike cooking breakfast downstairs for them. But, no. The scents didn't come. Her hope was tarnished. She was alone. Sad and alone. She just had to accept the fact that, no matter which way she looked at it, Spike was gone and wasn't coming back. Oh, sweet Celestia! If this was what it was like to lose a friend, then she surely didn't want to go through this again! She was going to have to go through the pain and suffering of having to see all of her closest friends pass onto the other side, whether she wanted to or not. Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, all of them would eventually pass on, and there was absolutely nothing she could do to stop it. Oh, how awful! She didn't think she could go through it another time, much less five! And her family would eventually pass on too, so there was even more hurt and pain to look forward to. Oh, goodie! She sighed and collapsed on her bed, burying her face in her pillow. She slowly turned her head, hoping to see Spike snoozing there, his snoring echoing around the room. She saw nothing but an empty basket. She glared and angrily slammed her head against the pillow, breathing heavily as her emotions began to get the best of her. She finally stopped and simply buried her head in her pillow as she sobbed quietly to herself, her body shaking with each shaky sob. When would it end? It seemed that she couldn't go a day without thinking about him, how much she'd meant to him. If only she'd known how easily life could be taken away, she would have taken more time to tell him that she loved him. She hardly recalled ever saying as much to him. She was sure that he'd known how much she loved him, but he still deserved to be reassured now and again. “Twilight . . .” There was that voice again. Or was it simply her imagination? She didn't know, and at this point she was too caught up in her emotions to care. Why?! Why had he done it?! Was he unhappy being with her? Was he depressed? Was somepony bullying him? There were so many possibilities of why he'd want to commit suicide. She'd read up on the symptoms of depression. She should have known that he was depressed based on his sluggish performance and the fact that he was crankier than usual because he hadn't been getting enough sleep. Why hadn't she confronted him, talked to him about why he was so sad? She'd done it with her other friends, so why hadn't she done it with him? It was unacceptable that she'd ruled him out. She should have been more careful, should have studied his behavior more closely to truly come to the conclusion that he was depressed. She hadn't done any of that. Why hadn't she?! If she had, she could have stopped this terrible thing from happening. One of the reasons why she couldn't rest was probably because that question was still lingering in her head constantly: what would cause him to want to kill himself? She didn't understand it. She'd always thought that he'd been happy living with her. Perhaps she was wrong. “Twilight!” Her ear flickered yet again and she sat up in bed, listening carefully. If her ears weren't deceiving her, she could have sworn that she could hear somepony knocking at the door. A visitor? Maybe this was a good thing. She could use some fresh air. She'd been cooped up in the library for far too long. She was taken aback to find Fluttershy and Rarity standing at her doorstep. She hadn't been expecting them. “Hello, Twilight,” Rarity greeted her warmly. “Doing any better today?” Twilight gave her a puzzled look. “What day is today?” “I'll take that as a no,” Rarity replied. “We just came by to check up on you and make sure that you were doing well.” “I'm doing okay, I suppose.” “You suppose?” Fluttershy asked. “Judging by your appearance, dear, I'd say you're not doing okay.” Rarity pointed to Twilight's mane and tail. “You're an absolute mess. You know what? A bath would fix you right up.” Twilight blushed. 'It has been a while since I've bathed. I suppose a hot bath does sound nice.” “Wonderful!” *** Admittedly, Twilight hadn't been so sure at first, but the hot bath was quite relaxing. She let out a sigh of content and leaned back against the tub. “Arms up,” Pinkie instructed. No sooner had Twilight done this was it that Pinkie began scrubbing underneath her forelegs, making the unicorn cackle in laughter. She had insisted that her friends help her bathe in order to get the spots that she couldn't reach, such as her back, rear, hind legs, and her tail, among others. They had started on her mane at first and had worked their way down. “You know,” Twilight said, “I've been thinking. Maybe we should all get together sometime and talk about our feelings regarding Spike's passing. It may help us all cope better. If anything, it'll help us get some things off our chests.” “I'm not sure I'd be comfortable talking about my feelings,” Fluttershy replied. “Nopony's going to judge you, Fluttershy,” Twilight reassured her. “That's right,” Rarity agreed with a nod. “I think it's a wonderful idea, Twilight! It would give some of us a chance to blow off some steam. From what I've heard from Applejack, Rainbow Dash is pretty miffed about the whole situation.” “Believe me, so am I,” Twilight remarked, “but staying quiet about it isn't going to help anypony. We can only start to heal when we start talking about it and attempting to move on. We're not doing that by avoiding each other.” “Mm-hmm,” Pinkie added. “So, it's agreed,” Twilight went on. “We'll meet at some point to do a little bit of talking. When is a good time that's convenient for everypony?” “I haven't been getting too much into my work lately,” Rarity told her. “How about this upcoming weekend, if everypony else is free, that is.” “I'm free,” Fluttershy stated. “Me too,” Pinkie Pie added. “Okay, that just leaves Applejack and Rainbow Dash,” Twilight said. “Rarity, I need you to go ask Applejack if she can make it. Fluttershy, you do the same with Rainbow Dash.” “I'll try,” Fluttershy said. “Don't worry about a thing, Twilight,” Rarity assured. “Even if I have to hold her down, tie her up, and drag her to the library, I'll make sure that Applejack is at that meeting.” “Do you think it's such a good idea to have it at the library?” Twilight questioned. “Having it at the place where he died could be a little too much.” “Why don't we throw a party?” Pinkie Pie suggested. “It'll liven things up and get everypony more comfortable!” Twilight tapped her chin in thought. “Hmm, that's not a bad idea.” She nodded. “Why not? With how depressed everpony's been lately, a party would be just the thing to liven up our spirits.” “Whoo-hoo!” Pinkie did a back flip. “I'll get everything ready!” She trotted off. “Hey, wait a minute,” Twilight called. “You still have to–” “Don't worry, Twilight,” Fluttershy said, scrubbing at her friend's back. “Rarity and I can finish up here before going to tell the others.” Twilight smiled gratefully and nuzzled Fluttershy. “Thanks.” Author's Note Yes, I did steal some lines from “Smile Smile Smile” for Pinkie's dialogue.
Chapter 4 Chapter 4 Chapter 4 For the first time in a long while, Twilight managed to find the energy to get up and do some cleaning in the library. She walked from one area of her home to the other, dusting off various shelves and counters. She stopped when she came upon Spike's bed. The duster was set upon her bed and she raised an eyebrow at the young dragon's basket, wondering if maybe she should clean it or not. There really was no point, seeing as how the blanket was straight. But maybe the pillow needed fluffing, even if nopony would be sleeping in the basket any longer. Surrounded by a purple aura, the pillow was lifted into the air. Looking down, she discovered what appeared to be a book that had been lying underneath the pillow. She hesitated for a moment or two, wondering what the book could be and whether or not she should even take a peek at it. She had a suspicion that it may or may not have been Spike's personal diary. If so, she contemplated whether it was right to look at it. Being that he was dead, she supposed that it wouldn't hurt to take a look. The diary itself perplexed her. Her relationship with him had been based on honesty. They hadn't kept things from one another. Why had he felt the need to keep a diary with him? Maybe there were some things that he wasn't comfortable with talking about with her. She herself had started keeping a diary ever since his passing, if only to maintain her sanity. The pillow was fluffed and the diary was carefully set on her bed beside the duster. The book was opened and she flipped through several pages. “Maybe reading a couple of entries will give me a clue as to why he killed himself.” She reached the end, deciding that if she wanted any clues as to the reasoning behind his demise, she would need to start at the last journal entry he wrote. Since he had claws, his writing was much neater than that of anypony who was forced to write with their mouth. She had thought that because his claws were so small, his writing would be microscopic, but thankfully his writing was big enough to where she could read it properly. She had to smile at the amount of journal entries that he'd written about Rarity. It came as no surprise, really. He had loved her dearly, but his other journal entries made it abundantly clear that he loved the others as well, if not more. She wasn't surprised in the slightest that he'd dedicated an impressive amount of journal entries to herself. In truth, she couldn't help but be curious as to what he'd written about her. Dear Diary, I had a dream last night. It started out the same as the one the night before, all dark and cold. While I was calling out for someone to help me, Twilight came out of nowhere and picked me up in her hooves She cradled me and rocked me back and forth. I felt very happy in her embrace. I felt safe and comfortable. She smiled at the entry he'd written, a confirmation that he had indeed seen her more as a mother more than a big sister. She went back to the end of the diary, only to find several blank pages. The last entry had been written on the twenty-second of May, the day on which he'd passed away. It seemed that he'd written in the diary ever day for the past month or so. Until then, he hadn't written in the diary since February. Throughout the months of April and May, she noticed a pattern. Every day, he seemed to get more and more depressed. She'd noticed the signs. He hadn't been eating as much. He had been sleeping more. He went about his chores in a rather sluggish manner. He didn't talk much. When he wasn't doing his chores, he would simply lie in bed and sleep. She had been worried about him, but had been too preoccupied with her studies to actually take the time to talk to him about what was bothering him. She had asked one of the others to talk to him. She entrusted Applejack to complete this task the most, seeing as she was one of the more level-headed of her friends, the easiest to talk to, and always gave a good, honest opinion about what should be done about whatever problem that needed resolving. Sadly, Applejack had reported that Spike said that there wasn't anything wrong with them, that he was just in an emotional slump at the moment and he was sure that he would get over it in a matter of days. There was no need to worry. She should have pressed more. She'd been certain that something was bothering him, but she hadn't known what. Maybe knowing what could have saved his life. She wasn't entirely certain of this fact, but there was still a chance, a possibility, that knowing what was bothering him and talking about it could have helped him greatly. It was too late now. There was nothing anypony could do to bring him back. Her ear twitched upon hearing a few knocks at her door. Setting the diary aside, she went to answer the door. Rainbow Dash stood there, not smiling. She looked forlorn. “Are you ready to go?” Rainbow Dash asked quietly. Twilight nodded. “Yes, of course.” “Good. Pinkie Pie wants us there early, so we should get moving.” Twilight remembered Spike's diary and her interest in reading it wouldn't allow her to leave it behind. They could read it together. “Okay, hold on. I want to grab soemthing really quick.” Once Twilight had the diary in her possession, the two of them made their way from the library to Sugarcube Corner. Fluttershy and Rarity were arriving there just as they were. All four of them entered together, not saying a word besides the casual greeting. Upon entering, they found that Applejack was already there, having been instructed by Pinkie Pie to help out with the food while Pinkie took care of the decorations. Unusual for Pinkie Pie, the volume of the music was softly playing the background. There was a table set to one side of the room, fully decked out with various foods and desserts. Bowls of various beverages such as cider and punch were laid out, along with cups and plates. Silently, the group went over to the table and began filling their plates with various foods that they desired. Twilight set Spike's diary down on an unused table while she went to go get something to eat. Not surprisingly, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie selected cider as their beverage. The others simply had punch. They made casual conversation as they ate, not talking about anything particularly important. It seemed that all of them wanted to do everything they could to avoid the topic at hoof–that, of course, being Spike. Once they were all full, they gathered around in a circle. Twilight retrieved Spike's diary and joined them. She noticed that upon discovering the diary, Rarity tensed up. She had a worried look on her face. Perhaps she was just nervous or afraid that she was going to be embarrassed about what Spike had written about her in his diary. If Twilight did come across anything that mentioned Rarity, she would be sure to skip over it, if only for Rarity's sake. “What is that?” Fluttershy asked quietly nodding towards the tome resting in front of Twilight. “I found it just today,” Twilight replied. “It's Spike's diary.” “You're not planning on reading that, are you?” Applejack asked. “Applejack,” Twilight cried sternly. “Of course I am!” “Ah, don't know, Twilight,” Applejack went on. “Ah don't feel right about invading somepony's privacy like this, especially given that somepony's dead.” “Come on, Applejack,” Twilight coaxed. “Maybe it'll give us some clues as to why he killed himself. Maybe he was hiding something or maybe he was struggling with something.” “I have to agree with Applejack,” Rarity spoke up hastily. “If somepony read my diary without my permission, especially if I were dead, why, I'd just be devastated.” Twilight looked around the room. “You all feel the same as Applejack?” They nodded. “Not that we're not curious as to why he killed himself,” Rainbow Dash said. “It just seems wrong to go through his private stuff without his permission.” “But this,' she tapped the diary with her hoof, “could be our only means of finding out what was bothering him, why he felt the need to leave us. How else are we going to find that out?” “We could ask around,” Pinkie Pie suggested enthusiastically. Rarity nodded. “Maybe he was too embarrassed or frightened what any of us would think, so he might have confided in somepony else.” Twilight shook her head. “But that doesn't make sense. Spike knew that he could talk to me about anything.” Her ears flattened. She sunk low until she was lying on her stomach and she slowly rotated her hoof against the diary. “What was so wrong with him that he felt he couldn't confide in me?” “If it's bothering you that much, then, um . . ., perhaps we should take a look inside his diary,” Fluttershy offered. “J-Just a tiny peek, though.” Twilight raised up to look at them again. “Aren't any of you dying to know?” The others visibly cringed. “Bad choice of words there, dear,” Rarity said, smiling a bit. “But, believe me, we all desperately want to know what was going on through his head when he was contemplating suicide. But I don't any of us are willing to stoop so low as to look through his private diary.” “'Stoop so low?'” Twilight cried, somewhat offended. “I was practically his mother! I have every right to know what he was writing down in his diary!” “That may be true,” Applejack said, “ but the truth is, sugarcube, the rest of us aren't interested. You can read it if you want, but please keep the rest of us out of it.” Twilight sighed. “Fine.” She pushed the book aside and eyed them. “So, how have you all been?” “We've all been able to keep our minds occupied with work, mostly,” Applejack stated. She smiled. “I've been bucking trees and cooking like crazy these past couple of days. 'S matter of fact, I think I might have put on a little weight 'cause o' all that baking.” She patted her midsection and grinned. Twilight turned to Rainbow Dash. “Rainbow, what about you? How have you been holding up?” Rainbow Dash exhaled, blowing her mane up. “Terrible. I can't sleep. I can't eat. I can't even enjoy a freaking Daring Do book! Ugh!” Twilight finally broke down and began sobbing quietly, her body shaking. She began to rotate her hoof against Spike's diary. “What did I do? Did I do something, something to make him mad at me? Did he kill himself because of me?” She and the others were struck with shock when a hoof was sent across her face and a hard, loud slap echoed throughout the room. All parties turned their attention to Applejack, who was glaring daggers at Twilight. “How dare you,” Applejack snarled, sneering. She exhaled heavily through her nose, blowing Twilight's mane. “How dare you even think something like that!” She jabbed her hoof in Twilight's chest. “Let me tell you something, sugarcube! That dragon loved you! He loved you to death! His whole world, his whole life, revolved 'round you! Well, you and Rarity, of course.” She looked over at the marshmallow pony, who looked away. She turned back to Twilight. “There was nothing you could have done to make him think that you no longer wanted him around, and for you to even suggest something like that is ridiculous!” She spit at the ground. “I just . . . oomph!!” She kicked a chair that wasn't far away from her, sending it flying across the room and ending up in shatters as it hit the wall. She gritted her teeth, breathing heavily in a futile attempt to calm herself down. She gave them an apologetic look. “Sorry, y'all.” Twilight shook her head. “No, don't be. It's okay.” “No, it's not okay,” Applejack objected, getting in Twilight's face and glaring. “It's a bunch of bull hussy!!” She stomped her hoof. She sniffled and broke down herself, pounding at the floor with her hooves while she screamed over and over again, “Why?! Why?! Why?!” She began to calm down after Rarity began nuzzling her affectionately. She smiled in gratitude and gave the marshmallow pony a warm hug. Twilight frowned. “That's what I keep asking myself.” She shook her head. “I just can't understand why he would do something like this. It just isn't like him. Surely he would have talked to me or one of us if something was bothering him.” The others nodded their heads in agreement. Twilight turned to Rarity. “You were as close to him as I was, Rarity. Did he come to you and talk to you at any point, that you can recall in recent memory?” Rarity swallowed hard. She found herself in quite the pickle. On the one hoof, she could always tell the truth and say that Spike had in fact visited her. She'd been the last one to see him alive. But she didn't want her friends hating her and disowning her when they found out that she was the reason why Spike was dead. On the other hoof, she could always lie and tell them that she didn't recollect Spike visiting her at any point. If only to save her own skin, she thought that it'd be best to tell a white lie instead of risking her friendships. She shook her head at Twilight's question. “Can't say that I have, dear.” Twilight turned to Applejack. “What about you, Applejack? You were practically like a big sister to him.” Applejack smiled. “And you were practically like a mother to him.” She nuzzled Twilight affectionately. “Did he talk to you about anything that was bothering him?” Twilight asked. Applejack sighed dejectedly. “Sorry, sugarcube. Ah can't say that I have.” “Oh.” Twilight's ears flattened against her head. “So, he never talked to any of you in the past few weeks?” They all looked down sorrowfully. “Sorry, Twilight,” Rainbow Dash said. She gave a small smile. “Maybe you're right, though. Maybe reading entries from his diary will give us some clues about why he offed himself. I still don't feel right about going through his personal diary. Seeing as you were pretty much his mother, you can if you want to. Just let us know if you find out anything.” Twilight nodded. “I will.” She placed Spike's diary back in her saddlebag. “Will you guys be all right? You'll let me know if you need to talk, right?” She gave a worried look. Rarity smiled. “Of course, dear.” Twilight hugged her tightly. “Thank you.” She sighed once she'd pulled away. “I can't imagine how hard this must be on you. He loved you very much. I hope you know that.” Rarity looked down. “Yes, I do . . . now. I just wish I'd known it sooner.” Twilight gave her an odd look while the others filed out of the room. “'Sooner?' How could you miss the signs?” Rarity shook her head. “To be honest, I really don't know.” She swallowed. “Listen, what if I were to tell you that I was the one who killed Spike?” Twilight squinted and slightly leaned forward. “What are you talking about?” “Oh, well, let's just say, hypothetically, that I was the reason why Spike offed himself. Let's say that he came to my shop one day and I completely ignored him. He became depressed and finally decided to . . . end it all, for lack of a better term.” She cleared her throat. “Of course I'm just speaking hypothetically. What would you and the others think of me? You wouldn't hate me, would you?” She took a cautionary step back. “Rarity, I'm surprised at you. Why in Equestria would you think we'd hate you. Even if you did have something to do with this, it wasn't your fault. You couldn't have known that Spike was going to kill himself. None of us could have seen that coming. Is this why you've been so distant lately, why you've been avoiding all of us, me especially? You really think you might have had something to do with Spike's passing?” Once again, Rarity looked down, not saying anything in response. She was taken by surprise as she was suddenly enveloped in a warm hug. She looked down at Twilight, the purple unicorn pressing the side of her head against her white, furry chest, her forehooves wrapped around Rarity's neck. “Twilight, w-w-w-what are you doing?” “You looked like you could use a hug. I hope it makes you feel better.” She pulled away and patted Rarity's cheek gently. “Don't beat yourself up over his passing. You had nothing to do with it. Remember, we love you no matter what. We're always here to talk. Let me know if you ever want to talk. I'm always available.” She turned to go out the door. “And you'll do the same with us, right?” Twilight turned and nodded. “Of course. I'll see you around, I hope.” Rarity nodded. “Yeah.” She gave a slight chuckle. “Maybe. I've got to run home and make sure that Sweetie Belle hasn't burned down the Boutique.” Twilight chuckled. “Honestly, Rarity, you should have more faith in your little sister. You could learn a thing or two from Applejack.” “I'm sure I could. Anyway, I'll talk to you later, Twilight.” “I hope so.” The two of them went their separate ways upon walking outside, a final hug sending them on their way. *** “Hey, Applejack?” Said pony turned to see Rainbow Dash heading towards her. “What is it, Rainbow Dash? Make it quick. I got a lot of bucking to do today.” “I was just wondering . . .” She swallowed. “Could I maybe–if it's not too much trouble, that is–could I maybe sit down with you and have a nice cry? Y-Y-You look like you're about to cry yourself, to be honest.” She removed her saddlebag and tossed it in front of Applejack. “I had Derpy make some muffins for us. Really good, too.” Applejack simply stared down at the saddlebag in front of her. “I bet I can eat more than you,” Rainbow Dash challenged. Applejack smiled. “Always lookin' to best me, aren't you, Dashie?” Rainbow Dash blushed. Applejack sighed. “All right, come on in. You might as well since you're already here.” The two of them began trotting towards the Apple family home. Applejack sighed. “Sorry about that back there, Rainbow Dash, getting' all emotional like that. It's uncalled for.” Rainbow Dash shook her head. “No, that's a good thing. Get it out of your system. It'll make you feel better.” Applejack smirked. “You're startin' to sound like Twilight.” Rainbow Dash chuckled. “Well, to be honest, I should know from firsthoof experience. A good cry has really made me feel better, even if it physically drains me and and all I want to do afterward is sleep.” Applejack yawned. “Mm, I know what you mean by that, sugarcube. A nap sounds lovely right 'bout now.” “We can nap after we get through these muffins.” “What kind are they, anyway?” Rainbow Dash smiled. “Apple cinnamon.” Author's Note I apologize for the tardiness of this chapter. I've been in a writing funk for the past month or so. Don't you just hate it when that happens?
Chapter 5Applejack chuckled as Rainbow Dash let out a groan. She looked behind at the cyan blue Pegasus, whose back was resting against hers. “Ate too much, didn't you?” “Yeah,” Rainbow Dash replied. “Definitely not the best idea.” Her eyes met Applejack's. “Forty-seven muffins. You definitely win. Here,” she held up the last muffin, “you can have this one.” “Thanks.” She snatched up the muffin and popped it in her mouth. “Make that forty-eight. I stopped after only four.” Applejack chuckled once again. “Ah s'pose Ah never told ya Ah had the appetite of a full-grown stallion, huh?” “No, you never did.” “Ah guess I didn't win fairly, then, did Ah?” Rainbow Dash shrugged one shoulder. “I suppose not.” Her eyes shot open and she rolled over onto her bloated stomach to glare at Applejack. “You knew you were going to win all along, didn't you?” “S'pose Ah did.” “Ugh! You cheated!” She pointed an angry hoof at Applejack's nose. Applejack smirked. “Doesn't feel too good, now, does it?” Rainbow Dash's expression softened and she stared down at the floor. “No, it doesn't.” “Glad to hear it, sugarcube.” She patted Rainbow Dash's head. “Ah've had fun, but ya got to leave now. Ah've still got some chores that need to be done around the house.” She pressed her head against Rainbow Dash's back and began pushing her towards the door. They stopped upon reaching the entrance and Applejack waved her away. “So, go on. Shoo!” “Oh, all right. I'm going. Maybe the flight home will give me a chance to lose this extra poundage.” “Or rather, don't. I kind of like it.” Rainbow Dash gave her own an odd look. “Um . . . okay. . . . See ya, Applejack!” She took off with Applejack waving goodbye to her on her porch. *** Twilight sat at her reading table, flipping through the pages of Spike's diary back and forth, back and forth. She groaned and sat up straight. This position wasn't doing her back or neck any favors. She would need to go for reading in bed. The pillows could serve as support for her upper back and neck, at least until they got eased off. She let out a soft moan as she enveloped herself in the warmth of her bedsheets. She had to admit that reading in bed, while it did make her drowsy, was a lot better than sitting at the reading table. It was more comfortable, more relaxing, which meant less stress on her neck and back. Propping the book up with her lgs, she used her pillow to levitate her head. She sighed in contentment as she turned a page in Spike's diary. Maybe if she was lucky, she'd find something that would clue her in as to why he'd killed himself. Even if she didn't find anything of the like, it would still be fun to read about what he'd written in his diary, even though a part of her felt bad for having done so in the first part. When she thought about it, she supposed that the others were right. What right did she have to invade his personal privacy, in spite of the fact that he was dead? She didn't have any right to do so, despite that, as Applejack had said, she was practically his mother. She figured that it made sense to start from the beginning. She turned the pages until she was at the very first entry that he'd written in his journal. She smiled as she recalled that she'd gotten the journal as a birthday present for him one year, something that he had just perceived as just another book. She'd explained to him that he could write in it whenever he wasn't talking to her about something. She hadn't expected him to actually write anything in it. After all, he hadn't written anything unless she ordered him to. She wasn't surprised at all that most of his entries were about his crush on Rarity, though she was surprised to find that he had written quite a large quantity of entries on Rarity's sister, Sweetie Belle. She blushed at the thought of him secretly having a crush on her. She couldn't deny the fact that the two of them made an adorable couple. She remembered the two of them dancing together at Shining and Cadence's wedding, and how cute the two of them looked. She wasn't sure how long she spent reading the journal. She was startled to find the sun rising when she finally closed the book. She let out a yawn and stretched. Time to get some rest. *** Rarity let out a bored sigh, staring out the window at the residents of Ponyville going about their business throughout the town square. She had no orders to do. She hated days like this. She didn't know what to do with herself on days in which she had no work to do. Fashion was her life and a day without it was tedious and boring. While she would have loved to spend the day with Sweetie Belle, she was out with her Crusader friends on another one of their wild and crazy adventures. She looked across the room at her bookshelf. There were plenty of books that she hadn't read yet. She recalled that she'd borrowed them from Twilight a few weeks back and she had yet to read them. Since Twilight freely lent them to her friends and other residents of Ponyville, there was no return date. This was good for Rainbow Dash since she had a tendency to not return the books that she borrowed. She would have liked to sit down and read a good book or two, but with how depressed she was, she wouldn't be able to concentrate on what she was reading. During times like these, she found her escape in her beverages. She sat down on her bed once she'd reached her bedroom. Reaching underneath the bed, she pulled out a six-pack of bottled cider. Her own private stash. Since Sweetie Belle wasn't allowed to be in her room unless permitted, there was no risk of her little sister finding her secret stash. As long as Sweetie Belle stayed out of her room, her secret love of alcoholic beverages was safe. She took the pack downstairs to the kitchen. Why not enjoy something to eat while she did her drinking? Maybe some buttered rolls. So what if they were fattening and would cause her to bloat? At this point, she didn't really care. While the rolls were in the oven baking, she busied herself with enjoying her drink. She glanced out the kitchen, watching customers come and go at Sugarcube Corner. She took another swig of the cider, stumbling backward and falling down on her rump. She giggled to herself. “Whoops,” she mumbled, getting up. She winced as the alcohol burned her throat and made her eyes water. She took a few deep breaths. Ah, that was better. By now, she had gotten used to the side effects of alcohol on her body and had figured out how to overcome them. She once again stumbled backwards, running into the cabinet that held the good dishes. Shattered glass and china fell to the floor. She simply cackled at this. It felt good to laugh. It was no wonder Pinkie Pie was going around trying to make everypony smile. Laughing was helping her at the moment, greatly in fact. “I should probably sit down,” she decided. She set the remaining five bottles of cider on the kitchen table and pulled out a chair with her magic, hopping up and sitting down. She fiddled with the half-empty bottle of cider with her hooves, the liquid audibly sloshing within. She took another swig, licking her lips afterwards. Four bottles of cider later, she was starting to have trouble keeping her eyes open. Continually, her eyes drooped, only for her to snap them back open almost instantly. She let out a yawn. What did she suddenly feel so tired? She supposed that she shoudln't have been surprised about this. Lately, it seemed that she was tired all the time, and then when she would go to bed at night, she couldn't get to sleep. What was wrong with her? Even Sweetie Belle had noticed how tired she was when she would make stupid mistakes like pouring orange juice instead of milk into her cereal. She smiled to herself, recalling how her little sister would ask her constantly if she was all right. The two of them had grown so much in their relationship that nopony would ever think that at one time they were bitter enemies. She let out another yawn and finally gave in. Her head fell and she allowed sleep to take her over. *** “Rarity, I'm home,” Sweetie Belle called, stepping in the Boutique. When she received no response, she called, “Rarity?!” She strained her ears to see if she could hear her sister's response. Maybe she was busy working and couldn't hear her. She was about to call out again when something foul hit her nostrils. Was that smoke she smelled? She took another whiff of the air just to make sure. Her eyes widened at the realization that it was indeed smoke that she was smelling. She allowed her nose to lead her to the source of the smoke–the kitchen. Opening up the door, she saw her sister seated at the kitchen table, passed out. Meanwhile, the stove was on fire. The room itself was so full of smoke that it was hard to see and trying to see properly did nothing but water her eyes. She coughed and held her breath, trying her best not to inhale the smoke. As Cheerilee had taught her, she stayed low to the floor. She crawled across the room to where Rarity was. She would never be able to carry Rarity out of the burning inferno by herself. The most she could do was drag her out. Thankfully, the kitchen wasn't on the second story, so there was no need to worry about the stairs. Gently, she took Rarity by the scruff of her neck and began dragging her to the door. The fire was stationed mostly at the stove, but it was spreading, and quickly. If she wanted to get out alive, she needed to get her rear end in gear and run as fast as possible. She wasn't about to attempt to heave Rarity onto her back and carry her out that way. Her bigger sister was more than twice her weight. She'd never be able to get out without breaking her back. But dragging her was tedious and she maybe wouldn't get out without the flames reaching the door before she did. She let out a groan of frustration. What in Equestria was she supposed to do?! She could do nothing but pray for a miracle. She jumped, the door suddenly bursting open as a team of firefighters rushed in and began fighting the flames with a hose. One of them grabbed Rarity and Sweetie Belle herself and took off towards the front door. It happened so fast that Sweetie Belle was having trouble figuring out exactly what had happened. Within minutes, the fire had been taken care of and Sweetie Belle was using an oxygen mask to help with her breathing. Despite that she had only been in the room for a relatively short period of time, the toxins from the smoke and flames still could have physically damaged her. She didn't realize how much she appreciated fresh, clean air until she was within the hellish room. She looked over where some doctors were attempting to revive Rarity. She was worried about her big sister. She didn't know how long Rarity had been in the room with the fire. Worst yet, she didn't know whether or not her sister was even alive. She hadn't exactly bothered to check if Rarity had been breathing. The only thing that she'd known was that her sister was unconscious in the middle of a fire and that she needed to get her sister out of the room and outside alive. She was still in the dark as to how the fire department knew about the fire. Since Sugarcube Corner was within the proximity of the Carousel Boutique, she figured that the Cakes must have discovered the fire and sent Pinkie to alert the fire department. That was the only conclusion that she could draw, although she supposed that the fire had attracted the attention of other residents of Ponyville and they had banded together to save the Boutique. Once she got her breathing under control, she set the oxygen mask aside and walked over to her sister. It came as no surprise to her that Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and the rest of Rarity's friends had come to see if Rarity was all right. Thankfully, they made a path for her as she came forward. She bent forward until she and Rarity were nose to nose, studying her. She couldn't be sure, but she couldn't have been the only one holding her breath, waiting, hoping, praying that Rarity would show some sign of life, even something as small as a tail twitch. A collective sigh of relief escaped the group when Rarity's eyes fluttered open, though her eyes looked bloodshot. Sweetie Belle dismissed this as nothing more than lack of sleep and enveloped her sister in a bear hug. Though weary, Rarity reached down and affectionately petted her little sister's mane. Before she could get a word out, an oxygen mask was slapped onto her muzzle. She was about to argue before she realized that her throat felt as if she'd eaten a whole bag of ash. They could have warned her at least, but nonetheless, she was grateful for the fresh oxygen. “Are you all right, miss?” a stallion asked, putting a hoof on her back. She nodded her head. There was no point in trying to talk. With the oxygen mask over her mouth, she doubted that anypony would be able to understand her. She closed her eyes and allowed her breathing to get back to normal. The group said their goodbyres and went their separate ways, leaving Rarity, Sweetie Belle, and the paramedics alone. Sweetie Belle let out a sigh of relief, giving her sister yet another tight hug. “I'm so glad you're all right.” Rarity pushed her away and glared down at her. “What in Equestria were you thinking, barging in the room like that?” Sweetie Belle frowned. “I couldn't just leave you in there to die. What was I supposed to do, wait for the fire department to get here?” Rarity sighed and pulled Sweetie Belle, smiling when her little sister snuggled against her chest. She resumed petting Sweetie's mane. “I'm just glad that you're all right.” She frowned and let out a dejected sigh. “So much for the rolls.” “Is that what caused the fire?” Sweetie Belle looked up at her big sister. Rarity nodded. “I suppose so. I think what happened was I fell asleep.” She shook her head. “I'm not sure how, though.” “Maybe you haven't been getting enough sleep. You've been complaining that you're tired lately.” “Have I?” She looked down at her little sister. “You have. Maybe there's a spell you can use to induce sleeping.” “Hmm.” She tapped her chin. “Perhaps some warm milk would do the trick.” She smiled. “I remember how much I loved it when I was your age.” She turned to look over at their home. “I just hope the kitchen hasn't been permanently destroyed. If we're lucky, we'll just need to replace the stove.” “You seem to be obsessed with Spike lately too,” Sweetie Belle pointed out, “more so than Twilight.” Rarity eyed her little sister and raised an eyebrow. “How do you mean?” “You talk about him in your sleep. Do you dream about him?” Rarity nodded. “Most of the time, yes. I wonder if Twilight dreams about him as well.” “I'm sure she does.” “We should go back inside now.” She watched the paramedics walk off and led Sweetie Belle back inside the Boutique. *** Sweetie Belle cringed visibly upon tasting the warm milk. “Ugh! This tastes worse than regular milk!” She glanced up at her older sister. “How do you drink this stuff?” “With a little bit of honey, of course,” Rarity replied, adding a few spoonfuls of the stuff to her glass and stirring it. She looked back at her little sister. “Would you care to try some?” “Anything if it makes the milk taste better.” She extended her glass with her magic and watched Rarity drop in a few spoonfuls of honey and stir it around with her own magic. She took a small sip this time around and smiled to herself. “Mm! Much better!” “I thought so.” She took a drink of her own warm, sweetened milk, licking her lips afterward. “It's an acquired taste, really. You get used to the taste after a while.” Sweetie Belle said nothing to this, instead opting to take another drink from her glass. She wobbled back and forth, the warm, sweet milk beginning to take effect on her. “Mm. Getting sleepy . . .” Rarity smiled. “Good to know.” Another swig of milk was consumed. “Mmm! I'm starting to get sleepy myself. . . .” She wobbled herself, leaning against Sweetie Belle, causing them both to stumble and fall to the floor. She smiled at Sweetie Belle and the two of them shared a laugh. Shortly after their drinks were finished off, the two found themselves having a hard time getting up the stairs without stumbling and bumping into each other. They laughed it off. They eventually reached Sweetie Belle's room. Rarity tucked her in and kissed her good night before venturing off to her own room. Hopefully, tonight would be a better night than the previous nights. As long as Spike was in her dreams, any night was a good one.
Chapter 6Chapter 6 Rarity let out a yawn as she made her way downstairs to the kitchen. She smiled wearily, spotting Sweetie Belle happily eating her cereal. With the vast quantity of bits that she made from her work, Rarity had been able to get the kitchen reparied in no time, and the constructio works had done it at half the cost as a show of their gratitude towards her for fixing up their uniforms. She made her way over to the coffee pot and fixed herself a mug. She was grateful that Sweetie Belle had been sure to make a new pot and get it heated up before starting on her breakfast. She looked back at Sweetie Belle and frowned. Her little filly was growing up. The two of them didn't talk much as the morning progressed. Rarity guessed that Sweetie Belle's silence had something to do over the fact that she was still somewhat traumatized over the events that had occurred two weeks ago. The poor filly was still having nightmares. Rarity wished that she could do something for her little sister to make her feel better, but she wasn't about to escort her to Twilight's and request that her egghead friend initiate a therapy session. That certainly wouldn't make her feel better, not in the least bit. They went their separate ways after that. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo came to pick up Sweetie Belle and they were off, with Sweetie Belle promising Rarity that she'd be careful and not to get into too much mischief. Once she saw that Sweetie Belle was off, Rarity turned back into the Boutique and approached the room where she did all of her work in. Mannequins went about the room, with the floor decorated in ribbons, sequins, bits of string, and all manner of ornaments and various gemstones and rubies. As usual, her work room wa a complete and total mess, and that was just the way she liked it. Had Applejack or Twilight been here, they would have fussed about the mess and busied themselves with trying to tidy up the room, just like Sweetie Belle had. It made sense, really. With all of her things neat and organized, it would make things easier to find. That had probably been why she couldn't find her ribbon that one day when Twilight was stressing about her report to Princess Celestia, because her work room was a pigsty. If other ponies could see the way she kept her work room, they'd no longer think of her as the prim and proper pony that she portrayed herself as. But, it was the environment that she was most comfortable with. She let out a dejected sigh, scanning the room. What was wrong with her? Ever since Spike had died, she hadn't felt like doing any work? Were her friends feeling this way too? Or, was she the only one since the pain and guilt that was eating away at her made it hard for her to concentrate on her work, much less get motivated to do any? She didn't know and she was too depressed to find out. She lifted her mug to her mouth to take a sip in hopes that it would make her feel better, but only cringed and spat out the beverage when she discovered that it'd turned cold. She could easily reheat it in the microwave, but she dismissed this action and simply poured the rest down the sink. Coffee was bad for one's teeth, anyway. She collapsed on her bed, staring up at the ceiling, her hooves crossed at her stomach. She did nothing but stare up at the ceiling. Ugh! She flailed her hooves in frustration. What had her life become?! Before Spike had died, she had been a very upstanding pony in the community, talking with others, getting clients, designing clothes for them, and really enjoying her life. Now, with Spike gone, all she could think about was him and how her rejection of him had led to his demise. Maybe coming clean would make her feel better. She had done that, sort of, with Twilight not too long ago. Then again, she had proposed it as nothing more than a hypotetical question. Her life had become dull and boring and she couldn't stand it! She thought that maybe if she just tried designing again, it would renew the happiness in her life, but any time she did try it, she just felt a lakc of energy, inspiration, and motivation. Designing had become a chore for her, not unlike before where she had fun doing it. She turned on her side, turning her attention to her dresser that was sitting across from her bed. She figured that she might as well get out of her pajamas and start her day. But that might getting up and actually doing something, and she didn't feel like doing anything, much less getting up. If she could, she would just lie in bed all day, surrounded by the warmth of her covers. She couldn't do that, though. She had a business to run and friends to interact with. Plus, she had a younger sibling to take care of. But with no motivation and her depression doing nothing but weighing her down, there was only so much that she could force herself to do. She simply couldn't find a good reason to get out of bed in the morning. That in itself was downright depressing. Sighing dejectedly, she finally managed to convince herself to get out of bed. She did so rather slowly, just to see how it would affect her mood and mental state. She allowed a small smile to come across her face. This wasn't so hard. So far, so good. Somehow, she managed to get downstairs and outside. She couldn't bring herself to do any work today. Maybe tomorrow she'd try getting some work done. She figured that as long as she was outside, she might as well go see how Twilight was doing. The poor dear was probably faring worse than she was in terms of Spike's passing. When she arrived at the Golden Oaks Library, she spotted a young filly walking out with one of Spike's teddy bears. That was odd. Why in Equestira would that young filly have something that belonged to Spike? She certainly wasn't going to find the answer just standing around. She proceeded to enter the library and made her way upstairs to Twilight's bedroom. She stopped and took a long around. There were several boxes piled up in the room, so much so that it took her a while to actually spot Twilight. There were so many boxes that she didn't see how Twilight was able to manuever around the room. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. She cleared a throat and swallowed a bit of saliva, noting that her throat felt dry, then tried again. “Twilight?” Said unicorn turned and gave her friend a weak smile. “Hi, Rarity. What brings you here?” Rarity glanced around once more, observing the various boxes. “Twilight, what is going on here?” “Oh. I'm getting rid of some of Spike's things. With him gone, it's become too painful to hold onto them.” She nodded her head towards one corner of the room. “The girls are helping me with the sorting and putting stuff away. You know, all of that junk.” Rarity looked at the corner specified and saw Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo all carefully going through Spike's things and putting them in the correct boxes. It was only now that she noticed that the boxes were labeled. For example, one box was labeled as “stuffed animals.” Another one was labeled as “books.” She walked over and looked through the latter. She smiled to herself. Most of the books were books intended for fillies Sweetie Belle's age. She remembered her mother and father reading her such books, and herself reading the same books to Sweetie Belle when she was little. She imagined that Twilight or Princess Celestia or whoever had raised Spike had done the same with him when he'd been a little bitty dragon, when he'd literally been a baby dragon, unable to talk or do any of the other things that he'd been able to do while living with Twilight. “Maybe we'll get our cutie marks in packing and sorting,” Scootaloo said excitedly to the other two fillies. “It's worth a hot,” Apple Bloom agreed, putting a small pillow in a box labeled “Miscellaneous.” “Would you mind helping out?” Twilight asked Rarity. “If you see something you'd like to have, just say so.” Rarity frowned as she began looking through the various items scattered on the floor. She started putting them in the boxes that they belonged in and said, “You're really comfortable just giving Spike's things away?” Twilight smiled weakly. “I know it's a bit harsh and radical, but these things just remind me of how much I miss him. It's much better to give them away to ponies who will cherish and take care of them rather than them serving as a painful reminder of what I've lost.” “So you're basically saying that these things have no sentimental value for you whatsoever.” “No, that's not what I'm saying. They do have value for me, but it's just that I feel it's time to move on with my life, stop living in the past and attempt to finally get over it.” Rarity blinked. “Twilight, darling, are you sure you're all right? You've hardly given yourself time to grieve. You know, bottling up your emotions like that isn't good for you. You should talk to someone about how you truly feel about what's happened. Stop hiding from the rest of us. You barely talked or showed any emotion at all at the get-together we had a few weeks ago.” Twilight smiled warmly at her friend. “Thank you, but I assure you, I'm fine.” Rarity sighed and put a blanket in the “Miscellaneous” box. “Whatever you say, Twilight. Whatever you say.” The three little fillies walked out with a little something of Spike's, a gesture from Twilight to show her gratitude for them helping her. Apple Bloom walked off with Spike's costume that he'd worn during one celebration of Nightmare Night. Sweetie Belle walked away with a photograph of Spike that she passionately kissed (this only served to confirm Twilight's suspicions that she and Spike had something more going on between them besides just being friends). Finally, Scootaloo walked away with a sack of marbles that Spike had played with when he was younger. When it came time for Rarity to pick something, she declined, stating that she wasn't comfortable taking Spike's personal belongings without his permission. Twilight persisted, encouraging Rarity to only choose one thing. It wasn't like she was stealing or anything. Rarity sighed and finally walked away with Spike's personal journal. As she did so, she noticed that Twilight appeared to be somewhat depressed by this. Perhaps Twilight felt a strong connection to the book more than the others, most likely because it was Spike's personal thoughts and feelings that were kept enclosed in the book. Therefore, the book was probably something of a sacred tome to Twilight. Nonetheless, Twilight thanked her for her help and sent her on her way. On her way back to the Boutique, Rarity jumped nearly ten feet in the air as Pinkie Pie leaped out of a nearby bush and stared at her. Rarity could do nothing but blink. “Pinkie Pie, what are you doing?” “This, silly,” Pinkie Pie replied, giving her a scroll. Rarity read it out loud. “You are invited to a small get-together this Saturday at noon. Don't tell Twilight.” She gave the scroll back to Pinkie Pie and blinked once more. “I'm confused. Why can't I tell Twilight?” “'Cause,” Pinkie Pie rolled her eyes, “silly, it's a surprise party for Twilight. I've noticed that Twilight been feeling really super down lately.” She puckered her lips and made a sad face, looking down at the ground. “So, I thought that the best way to cheer her up would to throw her a surprise party!” She leaped up in the air and cheered, balloons floating upwards and confetti raining down, both seeming to come out of nowhere. A warm smile came across Rarity's face. “Your kindness knows no bounds, Pinkie Pie.” In terms of kindness, Pinkie Pie gave Fluttershy a run for her money. “So you'll come/” Pinkie's smile seemed too big for her face. Rarity chuckled. “Of course, darling. What shall I bring?” “Well, me and Applejack have all of the food covered, so I guess the only thing you'll need to bring is yourself, and maybe a present or two.” Rarity raised an eyebrow in confusion. “Present?” “Of course, silly. What's a party without presents? Believe me, it'll make her feel better.” “Well, okay, if you say so, Pinkie.” “Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy are taking care of the decorations.” Rarity frowned. “What's the matter?” “Well,” Rarity replied, “I guess I'm feeling kind of useless. You all are doing something for the party, whereas I'm just attending.” “If you wanted to help out, why didn't you just say so, Rarity? You can help Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy with the decorations.” “Good. Cooking isn't really my strong suit.” She remembered the last time she'd tried cooking. “I'll see you on Saturday!” She gave Rarity a kiss on the cheek before speeding off like The Flash. A surprise party? This was great! This was just what Rarity needed to get her out of her funk. Then again, the party was for Twilight, not her. Nonetheless, the cheerful environment would hopefully be enough to get her out of her foul mood. Naturally, Sweetie Belle and her friends would be attending the party. It did seem rather cruel to leave them out of the party simply because they were younger. It was only fair that they get to join in. Because of her love for children, Pinkie Pie had probably already invited them. It wouldn't have surprised her, not in the least. But, wait. She had to get Twilight a present. She was certain that it wasn't a necessity, but she didn't want to arrive at the party empty-hooved. Knowing Twilight, she would just be happy with something as simple as a plain old book, but Rarity was smarter than that and knew her friend just as well as any of her other friends. She needed to get something better than a book, something not so superficial. But what? What? She tapped her chin in thought, but nothing was coming to her. Oh, well. The party wasn't until Saturday, at least a week from now. She had plenty of time to think of something to get Twilight in that amount of time. *** For the next few days, Rarity was busy helping Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy with the decorations. She designed them and the two pegasi used them as decorations. Meanwhile, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and the Cakes were baking and cooking their hooves off. Given that Twilight had pretty much isolated herself from the rest of Ponyville ever since Spike's death, keeping the party a secret from her turned out to be surprisingly easy, not that they needed to be secretive that much, anyway. All of the happenings for the party occurred within the confines of Sugarcube Corner. Transporting supplies, decorations, presents, and other necessities was quite easy. Of course, everypony in Ponyville was probably wondering what was going on at Sugarcube Corner. Within no time at all, a week had passed by and the party was set to begin. Since Sugarcube Corner was relatively close to the Carousel Boutique, Sweetie Belle and Rarity left at a quarter to twelve. The trip would only take them ten minutes, if not five at the most. Both of them had their presents in their saddlebags. Rarity had found Twilight the perfect present: a very large ruby that she had been saving for Spike's birthday. She figured that it would be better to give it to Twilight than save it to put on some dress that she was designing. She could always find a way around using the ruby. It wasn't exactly like there was a shortage of gemstones around Equestria. Everpony was already at the location of the party by the time the two mares arrived. They set their presents on the table that was already loaded with them, then joined the rest of their friends. “All right,” Applejack said, glancing around, “everypony here?” A series of nods met her question. 'Good. Now, somepony's gonna have to go and get Twi. Who's up for it?” “Well, I'm not doing anything,” Rarity spoke up. “I suppose I could go get her. The walk alone would do me some good.” She grimaced, realizing that she had put on a few pounds over the past few weeks, and this party certainly wasn't going to do her waistline any favors. Applejack smiled. “Thanks, Rarity. We'll be waiting for you. Remember to knock when you get here, that way the rest of us have time to hide and surprise her.” Rarity nodded. 'Right, then. I'm off. Wish me luck.” With a flick of her tail, she trotted out of the store and towards the Golden Oaks Library. *** “Come now, Twilight,” Rarity said, “you've got to get out of bed! The fresh air will do you some good.” She received nothing but a mumble as a response. She stomped her hoof in frustration. So much for getting Twilight to the party going smoothly. For the past fifteen minutes, she'd been attempting to get Twilight to get out of bed and go with her on a walk. Needless to say, she was beginning to get irritaed. She was about to resort to simply yanking Twilight out of bed with her magic and dragging her to their destination. Sadly, she wasn't as well skilled in magic as Twilight was, and so Twilight could easily counter her spell. “Oh, to Tartarus with it!” She stomped her hoof yet again and her horn glowed. Twilight let out a frightened yelp as she was suddenly lifted up into the air, a turquoise aura surrounding her. She was dragged through the air while Rarity trotted down the stairs and outside the library. She struggled to regain control of her body, but found this almost impossible with the tight grip that Rarity had on her with her magic. She would have to resort to other means. She let out a deep growl and shouted, “Rarity, stop!” The white mare did just that, and Twilight was instantly dropped to the ground. She let out a groan of pain before getting to her hooves and glaring at her friend. “Where in Equestria are you taking me?” Rarity smiled and put a hoof around Twilight, pulling her close into a hug. “I told you, darling, it's a surprise. Trust me, you're going to love it!” Twilight sighed and rolled her eyes. “All right, fine, I'll go. But it better be worth it.” Without another word to Rarity, she galloped ahead, only for Rarity to gallop faster. She gave no objection to this and simply allowed Rarity to lead them to their destination. Just as she'd been instructed to do, Rarity knocked on the door to Sugarcube Corner, loud enough for everypony inside to hear. When she received no response, she gently nudged the door open and led Twilight inside. Twilight blinked, attempting to let her eyes adjust to the darkness. “Why is it so dark in here?” It only became darker when Rarity closed the door. She was about to illuminate her horn to provide some light for them when suddenly the lights flickered on and all of her friends jumped out of their hiding spots, shouting in unison, “Surprise!” Twilight could do nothing but blink in confusion, sitting down on her haunches and glancing around the room. She had to admit that the decorations were quite lovely. She assumed that Rarity must have done them. But, still, that didn't answer her question as to why they were all throwing a surprise party for her. She tapped her chin in thought, but came to no rational conclusions. This had to be the work of Pinkamenia Diane Pie. As if on cue, Pinkie Pie came bouncing into view, smiling, her eyes seeming to bulge out of her skull. “Surprise, Twilight! Here you go!” She gave Twilight a slice of cake. Instead of eating it, Twilight simply stared down at it before glancing up. “I don't understand. What's going on here?” “Well,” Applejack spoke up, “Pinkie Pie and the rest of us saw you were feeling a little down, so we threw this party together in hopes that it might raise your spirits a bit.” Twilight gave a grateful smile. “Aww, you guys didn't have to do that.” “To be honest,” Rainbow Dash said, “I think all of us have been feeling pretty depressed lately.” She shook her head. “It really hard getting over something like one of your friends committing suicide.” Twilight nodded in agreement. “You're right, Rainbow Dash. It's going to take some time to heal, maybe even years. You can't expect to get over something like this overnight.” “That's enough gloom,” Applejack said. “That's right,” Pinkie Pie agreed enthusiastically. “Let's party!!” This walked over to a record player and music suddenly filled the room. She grabbed Rainbow Dash and the two of them began dancing together, while the others simply mingled and made small talk. Fluttershy and Applejack went to get some punch and try out a few snacks while Twilight and Rarity talked about how the other was doing with coping with Spike's death. Apparently Applejack overheard this conversation because she suddenly butted in between the two of them, glowering. “No, no, no! No talking about Spike! No depressin' stuff of any kind! Here, have some fritters!” She stuffed a couple of apple fritters into their mouths and grinned. “There! Feelin' better already, aren't ya?” In spite of herself, Twilight smiled. She understood what Applejack was trying to do. She was trying to create a happy, warm environment. It wasn't good to be depressed all the time. Now was not a time for reflecting on the past and the pain that all of them were going through. Now was a time for celebration, for joy and laughter. It was the only way that any of them were going to get over their ordeal. Then again, talking about it was also another way that they could get over it. But, like she had said before, it would take some time, no matter how much talking and laughter they shared with each other. The afternoon was spent eating, drinking, talking, laughing, telling stories, music and dancing, and talking of memories past. They avoided the topic of Spike and his demise at all costs. It finally came to the presents. They gathered in a circle, each with their presents and Twilight in the center. One by one, she opened their gifts with glee, although she did tell them that didn't have to go through the trouble of getting her something. Their presence and the party was more than enough. Nonetheless, she did thank them and was impressed wih some of the gifts. For example, Rainbow Dash had gotten her an hourglass that, instead of sand, had some rainbow colored liquid inside. She guessed that the liquid was the same kind that was used to make the rainbows. It finally came to the last present. This one didn't have a name tag, so there was no way of telling who it was from. Twilight simply assumed that it was from all of her friends, doubly so when the present was revealed to be . . . “It's . . . a book?” she guessed, still unsure of what the gift was. Sweetie Belle chuckled. “You gotta open it first, Twilight,” she declared. “Look inside. The rest of you do the same.” She gestured for everypony else to get closer, huddling them all close together so they could get a clear view of what was on the first page. Twilight was speechless by what she saw. “A photo album? This is so awesome, you guys! Thank you so much!” She patted everypony on the head and hugged them closely with one hoof. “Don't look at me, I didn't do this,” Rainbow Dash said, putting her hooves out in front of her. “I was busy all day yesterday gathering stuff for this party.” “Yeah, me neither,” Applejack added. “I was busy getting food.” Twilight looked at them, confused. “You mean, you guys didn’t make this together?" she asked, still wondering what was going on. “Well,” Sweetie Belle spoke up, “I don't mean to brag, but . . .” Her gaze fell to the floor as she idly kicked her hoof against the floor. She glanced up at Twilight once more with a somewhat sheepish grin. “I did it! I made it all by myself for everypony, especially you, Twilight.” She was quite prideful and satisfied with how the book had turned out. “Really?” Twilight asked, staring at the filly in surprise. “That’s really . . . wow! Thank you.” She felt like picking Sweetie Belle up and hugging her until the filly was breathless, but instead pulled her relatively close into a headlock with one hoof and began ruffling her mane “You little bundle of fur, how did you do this?” she asked, hugging Sweetie Belle even closer. “Well, it wasn’t that hard, really,” Sweetie Belle declared, momentarily pulling away from Twilight’s grip for a breath of air. “I mean, I just took some pictures of everypony and put them in the little picture slot things.” “I meant more like, what made you think of this?” Twilight asked, letting go of Sweetie Belle completely and starting to look at the next page. “Oh,” Sweetie Belle replied, now understanding. “Well, everypony was thinking of stuff to do for you and I wanted to do something nopony else would.” She couldn’t help but be a little proud; she rarely had the chance to prove herself to everypony, let alone Rarity. “Sweetie Belle, this is really good,” Rarity said, looking over a page entirely dedicated to her, Sweetie Belle, Applejack, and Apple Bloom. “Aren’t there any of me and my Scootaloo in here?” Rainbow Dash asked Sweetie Belle, quickly searching through the pages. “Here's one. Aww, you even put a little heart frame around it.” “Yeah,” Sweetie Belle said. “Well, I wanted to do something special for all of you, but, remember, it’s still Twilight’s.” She quickly closed the photo album and handed it back to Twilight, who took it gratefully, before Rainbow Dash was finished looking at it. “Wow, Sweetie Belle, that was really thoughtful of you,” Twilight said. “Yeah,” Pinkie Pie agreed. “I never would have been able to think of that all on my own.” For the next few minutes, the group simply sat and looked through the photo album with Twilight. At long last, the group got up and helped the Cakes and Pinkie Pie clean up the mess they made, despite the protests from the Cakes, who said that they didn't need to help. The group insisted that they help out, seeing as how they had made the mess. Eventually, the Cakes gave up trying to reason with them and allowed them to help out with the dishes. It was late afternoon by the time the group left. As she walked, Twilight looked through the photo album. “Let's see,” she mused as she walked, slowly flipping through the pages, observing each one carefully. “These are of me. These are Applejack’s and Ranbow Dash's. And here it is, Spike's own personal page.” She scanned over the pictures of her number one assistant. Gosh, these are really good! It even seems like Sweetie Belle worked harder making Spike's pictures than everypony else’s. I still can’t believe she’d do something like this for me, especially by herself. She let out a groan of pain, bumping into the front door to her home. She lifted a hoof to rub at her nose. The photo album falling to the ground, the sudden disruption in her concentration causing her magic to come to an abrupt halt. Once the pain wore away, she picked up the photo album with her magic went again and walked in her home. She'd need to put it in a special place. She figured that the best place to put it was by her bed. She opened the drawer to her beside table and gently set the photo album inside before closing it. She yawned, stretching her jaw muscles and allowing fresh oxygen to seep into her lungs. All of that punch and food had made her tired. A full belly tended to do that. A nap would be lovely. There was no debating it. Without thinking about it, she pulled back her covers and climbed into bed.
Chapter 7Chapter 7 Not too long after the party, Rarity went to TwIlight's, asking if she could borrow the photo album that Sweetie Belle had made her. Thankfully, Twilight had no problems with letting her borrow it, especially since it was her sister who had made it in the first place. Later that evening, with a glass of sweet tea, Rarity sat in bed looking through the album. Like Twilight, she was impressed by how much effort her sister had put into Spike's page. Just like Twilight, she was more than convinced that her little sister and Spike had a thing for each other. This brought forth thoughts of what would have happened had Spike not killed himself and if her little sister had admitted her feelings for the little dragon. Maybe things would have turned out differently. If she had rejected him, then common sense told her that her little sister would have confessed her feelings for him and the two of them may have started dating and become mates. She actually approved of the idea. Now that he was gone, that idea would never see fruition. By now her little sister was in bed. The two of them had spent the rest of the day together after the party, Rarity complimenting her on a job well done in terms of how well the photo album had turned out. Even now, she was still impressed with the various angles and the clarity that the pictures were shot in. Her little sister may just have found her calling in photography. Or her calling may have been in singing. She was very good at that. Rarity knew that from personal experience. She chuckled, knowing that her little sister didn't realize that Rarity could clearly hear her singing in the shower. It was well past midnight by the time she closed the photo album and put it away. Sighing, she lied down, pulling her covers up to her neck and turning on her side to go to sleep, making sure that she had her mask on before finally drifting off to sleep. *** “No, this can’t be happening!” Spike yelled as he watched something dark surround Rarity like a whirlwind. It was his nightmare. Everything the darkness touched had turned into a twilight reality of what was once their home. The trees were becoming dead and hard as stone as the grass was replaced with a cold rough terrain. The sun was gone and replaced with a gray and stormy sky so that not even the stars and moon were visible. Their home had become a wasteland, even worse; there was no sign of everypony else anywhere. It was just Rarity, Spike, and the dark. Rarity suddenly collapsed to the ground in front of him. “Rarity! Rarity, hang on, I’m here. Just hang on . . .” Spike felt as if he could stand up and resist the gusts of wind coming out of nowhere but only ended up falling on Rarity in attempting to do so. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?” Spike asked as he slowly got back to his feet. Rarity twitched slightly and began to get up slowly as well. “Spike . . ., I . . . I’m sorry, but . . . you did this . . .” the mare mumbled under her breath as she stared at the ground. Spike felt something sharp hit him in the chest but couldn’t see what it was; it was an invisible pain coming from within him. He began to breathe heavily, trying to gasp for air as Rarity began to hold his hand tight. “Spike, what’s wrong? Is your chest hurting? Please, tell me. Why? Why is your chest hurting?” To Spike, Rarity looked bizarre. Her face kept distorting in weird ways as she talked to Spike. “I can't tell you, Rarity,” Spike whispered “Why?” Rarity replied in a soft tone “Are you afraid? Are you afraid of me?” “No, I’m not afraid of you, but I . . . I . . .” Spike was stopped by Rarity, who held Spike's hand tight, rather painfully. Rarity looked deeply at him and whispered, “Spike, do . . . do you love me?” in his ear, which caused Spike to shiver. She smiled. “I think I know what’s wrong now.” She pointed at Spike’s chest. “Your chest is hurting, Spike. Do you know why?” Spike looked down at his chest and was terrified at what he saw happening. His chest was bleeding slowly and his purple skin was becoming stained. What happened next freaked him out even more; Rarity lunged at Spike and sunk her canine teeth deep into his shoulder. After a few seconds, she pulled away and began licking the wounds “Do you still love me?” Rarity said as a lightning bolt scorched the sky. When the lightning stopped, Spike noticed Rarity was gone and the trees and sky were normal. *** Rarity bolted up in bed, gripping her head in her hooves, breathing heavily. Ugh! Where had that come from? Surely it couldn't be due to her guilt over Spike's death, could it? Oh, why was she feeling so guilty about this?! Twilight herself had said that it wasn't her fault that Spike had killed himself. It made no logical sense whatsoever. If she wasn't at fault for Spike's demise, then she shouldn't have been feeling guilty regarding it. Yet, here she was, having constant nightmares about him dying and her being the pony behind it all. What was wrong with her?! Now, back to sleep, she thought as he fluffed his pillow. I don't even need to be worrying about this at the moment. A dream like that is best forgotten, I don’t need that keeping me down when I have something more important to worry about. This will all be fixed soon enough and then I can live normally for a change. Still, I have a funny feeling about all of it. Ahh, what am I saying! I need to sleep, that’s all. Just think of . . . sheep! Or something else that is just as boring. Okay, let’s try grass; it’s green and smooth and it tastes like wet plastic. It's soft just like him. Resting her head on her pillow with her eyes cast upward towards the ceiling and her hooves folded on her stomach, she recalled the memory of Spike kissing her. Unfortunately, this did nothing but send a tingle throughout her entire body. Not only that, but it also woke her up completely. Great, as if I couldn’t sleep already I definitely can’t now. Why is this keeping me up? It was only a dream, and then it was only a kiss, a kiss with Spike, that is. A kiss with Spike. Oh, jeez, this is going to be a long night and an even longer morning. Damn it all! She slammed a hoof down on her bed in frustration. This was ridiculous! Fed up, she got out of bed and went to the bathroom. Opening up the medicine cabinet, she scanned the shelves that held various bottles of medicine. She had the medicine cabinet high enough to where Sweetie Belle couldn't reach it, for fear that her little sister would overdose. She shook her head at this. Sweetie Belle was smarter than that. Then again, it was because of Sweetie Belle that she and her friends got in so much trouble. Sad as it was to say, her little sister wasn't too bright when it came to planning things out and thinking ahead. She hovered a bottle of pills over to her and examined it. Sleeping tablets, just what she needed. She fetched a glass from the kitchen and took the prescribed number of pills with some water. It would take a while for the effect of the medicine to kick in. Though, she found it absurd that she was having to resort to taking pills just to get a good night's rest. She just hoped that she didn't become addicted to them. Some medicines, she'd been told, could be habit-forming, so she had to be extra careful not to become dependent on the drugs. Otherwise, she'd be in worse shape than she already was. It was back to bed for her after she exited the bathroom. She collapsed on her bed, putting her mask back over her face, and turning on her side to go to sleep. Hopefully, the medicine would ensure that she had a more peaceful night than she had been having as of late. *** Rarity's life quickly fell into a dull routine. Instead of working or going out and spending time with her friends, she would sit in her room and look through Sweetie Belle's photo album, downing chocolates and cartons of ice cream, along with a healthy dose of alcohol. At this point, she didn't much care for how big her stomach got. She was too depressed to care. She quickly came to the realization that she needed to be with him, to receive some closure from this whole hellish experience. She couldn't be with him, no matter how much she wanted it. She could never be do that to Sweetie Belle. The poor filly had already been through enough, losing one of her closest friends. To lose her big sister would be detrimental. No, she could never do that to Sweetie Belle. Where was she supposed to go? Sure, one of her friends would gladly take her in. Given that she was such good friends with Apple Bloom, and the Apples had embraced Pinkie Pie so warmly, there was little to no doubt in her mind that Applejack would have no problems whatsoever with taking Sweetie Belle in. Even if that were to happen, Rarity just couldn't bring herself to do something like that, especially when she and her little sister were on such good terms. Oh, but the urge to fight the idea was becoming harder and harder as the days wore on. She was constantly going through the pros and cons in her head, day after day. On the one hoof, she would no longer have to suffer through any pain or misery. She would finally be free from the heartache, all of the pain and mental anguish that she was going through. On the other hoof, to find out her big sister was dead at such a young age would kill Sweetie Belle. Rarity was actually surprised that her little sister was handling Spike's death better than she was. Then again, that was probably because Sweetie Belle hadn't been the one to find him dead, nor was she the reason why he had killed himself. Daily, she would have a mental battle with her rational side and her emotional side. Her rational side said, “No, you can't do that to poor Sweetie Belle, not after all you two have been through. Your relationship with her is just getting good. Why put her through the same pain and anguish that you're in right now just because you see no other way out?” Whereas her emotional side said, “Oh, it's okay, Rarity. She'll find somewhere else to live. It's not like she has no where else to go. Besides, you're in such pain. Nothing is working for you. You've tried eating your feelings. You've tried numbing your feelings with alcohol. What else is there? Why go through all this mental and emotional tortue day in and day out? Why not end it all now so that you can be with Spike again and finally end your terrine? She went back and forth, back and forth, always with indecision. It was a battle that she just couldn't win, no matter which side she chose. She wanted to be free of the pain that she was going through, but she could never bring herself to commit suicide just to free herself, thus putting Sweetie Belle in a hard position about where she would go and who would take care of her. She finally decided to buck up and go see if Applejack could help her. Being the Element of Honesty, the farm pony would give her a straight answer as to what she should do about her dilemma. Applejack was busy bucking trees when she arrived at Sweet Apple Acres. Seeing that her friend was busy, she contemplated simply turning around and coming back at a later time when Applejack wasn't so busy. Just as she was turning, she heard Applejack bellow out, “Howdy, Rarity! What are you doing here?!” There was no backing out now. Putting on a brave face, she turned and walked up to the farm pony. “What brings you here?” Applejack repeated. Rarity sighed and decided to just go ahead and not pull any punches. “I'm in a bad place, Applejack.” Applejack blinked. “Do what?” “I don't know what to do. I'm feeling really terrible about myself. No matter what, I'm constantly feeling guilty about Spike's passing.” “Do ya believe ya had something to do with it?” Rarity nodded. “Indeed, I do. I dream about it. I'm constantly thinking about it. Oh!” She stomped her hoof in frustration. “I'm so stressed and depressed that I think I might do something drastic.” It was at this point that Applejack started getting worried. “Sugarcube, Ah recommend ya go see Twilight. These negative thoughts aren't good for ya to be havin'. A good talking to Twilight might do ya some good. She's been helpin' the rest of us out with copin' with this sort of thing. It really gives you a good feeling afterwards.” Her face became very serious. “Yer not thinkin' of suicide, are ya?” She couldn't help it. She broke down in tears and fell down at Applejack's hooves, beginning to hyperventilate. She was so upset that she barely felt Applejack pull her into a tight hug. She began to calm down when Applejack began to rub her back affectionately. “Oh, sugarcube,” Applejack spoke softly. “Ah know what yer going through. Believe me, we all feel a little guilty about him passing away. Ah think that deep down, we all knew that something was bothering him, but none of us bothered to talk to him about it. So, in a way, we're all a little guilty.” “But you're not the reason why he killed himself.” “Honey, does this have anything to do with you rejecting him?” Slowly, Rarity nodded. “You know how he is. He has severe self-esteem issues. Me rejecting him probably was what did him in. You know how much he adored me.” She shook her head, burying her face in Applejack's chest. “Maybe he felt like nothing in his life was going right, so I guess he figured that there was no point in living.” Applejack gave a soft chuckle. “He adored all of us, Rarity, not just you. He practically worshipped the ground that Twilight walked on. You couldn't separate that boy from her hip even with a spatula. The two of them were pretty much inseparable. Anypony would have a hard time getting them to spend any amount o' time away from each other.” “I . . . I suppose you're right.” Sighing, she pulled away from Applejack. “Like Ah said, Ah think it'd be a good idea if you talked to Twilight. Ya clearly have some questions that need answerin'. Maybe she's the key to ya getting the answers you need.” For the first time in their whole confrontation, Rarity smiled. Sure, it was a small one, but it was a smile nonetheless. “Thank you, Applejack. I just might do that.” Applejack smiled back. “Anytime, partner. Now,” she turned Rarity around and patted her rump, “get goin', would ya? I got some more trees to buck.” “R-Right,” Rarity replied, feeling slightly uncomfortable that Applejack had actually touched her plot. Even so, she shrugged it off and made her way towards Ponyville. *** “How have you been doing?” Rarity asked Twilight upon entering the library. “I've been doing better,” Twilight stated. She closed the door and followed Rarity to the kitchen. She went ahead and poured two cups of sweet tea, giving one to Rarity. “What about you?” She took a sip. “How have you been?” Rarity shook her head. “Not so good, Twilight.” She groaned and held her head in her hooves. “I feel like I'm going insane from delusion or depression or . . . I don't know what. I tried talking to Applejack and she said I should talk to you.” Twilight smiled. “I have been able to help the others in coping with what's happened recently.” She sighed and looked down, her face suddenly falling. “It's hard to believe it's been a month since it happened.” “But it feels like a year.” Twilight nodded in agreement. “That's true. Thankfully, I've been able to keep my mind off it by reading and keeping up with my studies.” Rarity said nothing to this, choosing instead to take a sip of her tea, licking her lips as the sweet beverage lingered on her tongue. She cleared her throat. “What about the ohters? How have they been coping with it?” She sighed dejectedly. “It feels like I'm the only one who's really struggling with this.” “You're not. Believe me, we all are, but we've been relying on each other to help us through it. When was the last time you talked to me or any one of our friends?” Rarity had to stop and ponder over this question for a moment or two before finally stating, “Not since your party.” Twilight reached across the table and gingerly patted Rarity's hoof, taking the white unicorn off guard. “I would encourage you to talk more. It helps, as I'm sure most of our friends will tell you. You should try to make it a mission each week to come over and talk to me. If not me, then somepony else, like Applejack or Fluttershy.” She smiled. “If you do that, then I guarantee you'll start to make real progress.” Rarity nodded, taking another drink. “Maybe.” “I'm available now if you'd like to talk.” “I just might take you up on that offer.” *** Throughout the following weeks, Rarity discovered that her sessions with Twilight were actually starting to have an effect on her. A positive effect, in fact. Not too long after her latest session with Twilight, she started work on the orders that she had to fill, leaving a note with each order. She apologized for the delay, stating that she had been going through some personal issues. Hence, why the orders were so late on being filled. Little by little, she began to regain her sanity. It had taken a while, but she had finally gotten her sleeping schedule down to where it was normal again. Reading Spike's diary just before going to bed seemed to have an aid in this department. One thing that she was happy about that she was no longer having any dreadful nightmares about the little dragon that had stolen her heart. Of course, she still dreamed about him. After all, he had been one of her closest friends and one of her biggest supporters. With the bits she collected from filling her orders, she was able to repair most of the damage done to the kitchen. She smiled to herself, knowing that she couldn't blame Sweetie Belle for it this time. She allowed her little sister and her friends to help out with picking out the color for the new kitchen and help her paint it. She would have asked her own friends to help out, but they were all busy doing their own things. Despite how well her life had improved (she couldn't remember being this happy before or since Spike's death), Rarity was still drinking heavily. She couldn't deny it. She had become dependent on it. She felt as if she couldn't get through a day without at least a few shots of hard cider. She even found herself adding alcohol to any beverage she had, whether it be milk or punch. She seemed to have a very strong fondness for Applejack's cider. However, this came as no surprise to nopony, as the Apples were quite famous for their cider. Folks all over Ponyville and Equestria over would camp out for days on end just to make sure that they were the first ones in line to get a mug of cider from Applejack and the rest of the Apple family. She found herself going to Rainbow Dash's residence often, given the machine that Applejack had given the latter. The two of them would sit and talk for hours on end and watch as the mugs of cider piled up on the coffee table. Being the opposite of Rarity, Rainbow Dash would lie on her side against the backrest of the couch with her head resting on a hoof while she drank her cider with the other. Rarity, in complete contrast to Rainbow Dash, would simply sit on her haunches, facing the coffee table. She would turn her head to address Rainbow Dash. Other than that and drinking from her mug, her body didn't move. Rainbow Dash circled a hoof around her mug, looking down. Her eyes darted across the room, doing everything she could to avoid eye contact with Rarity. Her rose-colored eyes finally landed on Rarity's sapphire blue ones and she cleared her throat. “Hey, Rarity?” Said pony looked at her. “About Spike killing himself . . ., you don't think he did it because of me, do you?” Rarity blinked. “Whatever do you mean, darling?” Rainbow Dash swallowed. “Well, it's just . . .” She rubbed the back of her head and once again looked down. She looked over at Rarity out of the corner of her eye. “You know how I was teasing him about not being a 'real dragon?'” She bent her hooves. “You don't think that got to him more than he let on, do you? He knew that I was just teasing, right?” Rarity smiled. Leaning forward, she placed a hoof on Rainbow Dash's chest. “Oh, Rainbow Dash, darling. You shouldn't be blaming yourself for something you had no control over.” “Still,” her voice cracked, “if I'd just been nicer to him–” “Hush, now! It's not your fault or nopony else's fault! Things like that are nopony's fault! It just happens.” Rainbow Dash nodded. “I-I know. I just . . . can't help but feel a little guilty. All those times I teased him and . . .” She sighed. “I'm a terrible friend.” “No, you're not. There's nothing wrong with a little gentle poking every now and then. You did nothing wrong. You were just playing with him, that's all, and he knew that.” “If he did, then why did he run off to join the dragon migration the very next day?” Rarity scooted back a little. “Rainbow Dash, you can't expect him to grow up among us and not wonder who his real parents are, where he came from. Any adopted child would have questions like that.” “I suppose you're right.” She smiled. “But what about you? How are you holding up since the party?” “I'm doing much better, thank you for asking.” She nodded. “Yeah, I'm back at work, filling orders, and making money. I think things are pretty much back to normal.” Rainbow Dash beamed. “That's great, Rarity!” She gently shoved the unicorn with a hoof. “Looks like you're finally getting back on your hooves, huh?” Rarity nodded. “Yeah, I suppose so.”
Chapter 8Fluttershy trotted happily throughout the Ponyville square, humming a merry tune to herself as she made her way towards Carousel Boutique. It had occurred to her that the only way to make Rarity feel better and, hopefully, get her out of her funk was to spend time together. The two of them hadn't been to the spa in weeks and, despite the fact that she didn't mcuh care for pampering, she was craving some alone time with her friend. The front door to the Boutique was unlocked, but as she peeked in, Fluttershy saw no sign of Rarity. She checked at all of the typical places her friend would be, such as the room where Rarity worked and her bedroom, but didn't find her in either. It was when she was exiting Rarity's bedroom that she stopped and listened carefully to the noise that was coming from the room to her right. Was that . . . singing she heard? The hinges on the door creaked when she gently pushed open what she supposed was the door to the bathroom. It had to be, given the steam and foggy atmosphere of the room when she entered. She squinted, attempting to see through the steam. It was difficult, but she eventually made her way to the source of the steam. Pulling back the curtain, she spotted Rarity happily singing to herself while she bathed in the shower. Tentatively, she began singing along with her friend. Hearing a second voice singing along with her, Rarity suddenly stopped in the middle of bathing herself and turned to see Fluttershy standing there, smiling at her. She cried out and fell backwards on her rump. “Fluttershy, what in heaven's name do you think you're doing?” Fluttershy shrunk back a bit. “I-I thought I'd come early so that you and me could get a head-start on our date together.” She smiled. “Could you please be courteous enough to wait until I'm ready?” “Oh, right.” Fluttershy blushed. “Sorry. I'll just wait outside.” “Thank you, dear.” Slowly, the seconds ticked by. Fluttershy seemed to be mesmerized by the ticking clock on the wall, her eyes never leaving it. It wasn't until Sweetie Belle was wandering towards the front door that she diverted her eyes. She beamed at the little filly as she cooed, “Oh, hello, Sweetie Belle,” thus causing said filly to turn. “What are you up to today?” “Just off crusading with Apple Bloom and Scootaloo,” Sweetie Belle replied. “Ooh, that sounds like fun. What are you going to do to earn your cutie marks today?” “Parachuting.” She beamed with pride and puffed out her chest. “My idea.” “Oh. Okay. Just be careful.” Sweetie Belle smiled. “Always.” “Good luck.” “Thanks, Fluttershy.” A few minutes after Sweetie Belle had left, Rarity walked in the living room with a towel folded on her head and dressed in her silk robe. “Ooh, I swear that sister of mine is going to be the death of me.” She looked over at Fluttershy and frowned upon seeing her friend so bored. “I'll just be a minute, darling, I promise.” “Oh, you're fine, Rarity,” Fluttershy reassured her. “Take your time. There's no rush.” Without another word to the cream-colored Pegasus, Rarity turned and made her way back upstairs to work on her mane and tail. She descended the stairs yet again fifteen minutes later looking her beautiful gorgeous self. Fluttershy was already by the door ready to go when she came downstairs. Without waiting another moment, the unicorn trotted over and said, “Well, then, shall we get going?” Fluttershy nodded. “Certainly.” The duo made their way out the door and began walking about Ponyville, making polite conversation. “So, Fluttershy,” Rarity said, “what do you have planned for today?” “Well, I was thinking we could go to the spa for a couple of hours, followed by lunch at Hay Burger, i-if that's okay with you, of course.” Rarity sputtered her lips, blowing her mane upwards. “Of course, darling. That sounds simply fabulous! Let's get going!” Rarity and Fluttershy had been to the spa so many times that both Lotus Blossom and Aloe knew them by name, knew what kind of treatment they wanted, and knew how each of them wanted to be treated during said treatment. As usual, they first started with a trip to the sauna, followed by facials, massages, and finally, a mud bath. Their conversations were mostly spent on what the other had been up to as of late, Fluttershy being adamant about completely avoiding the topic of Spike for fear that it would cause upset Rarity and cause stress for Rarity. Like always, Rarity was pampered and spoiled, whereas Fluttershy declined a full facial, wanting only two pecks of mud on each of her cheeks. The girls left the Ponyville Day Spa feeling relaxed and rejuvenated. They practically bounced out of the spa ala Pinkie Pie when they left. “What about after lunch?” Rarity inquired. “What then?” “Well, I was thinking that maybe we could go to Sugarcube Corner and get some dessert. Maybe? If-if that's okay with you?” “Fluttershy, you know I don't much care for sweets.” She looked behind her nad beamed at her robust rump. “I have to maintain my figure, after all.” Seeing her friend frown and slouch in disappointment, she quickly added, “But, I do have a sudden craving for something sweet. I suppose that stopping by Sugarcube Corner wouldn't hurt.” Fluttershy's face lit up. “Wonderful! Are you hungry now, or do you want to take a stroll through the park first?” Rarity tapped her chin with her hoof in thought. “I haven't eaten anything since breakfast this morning. I am quite hungry.” She looked around. “Where is Hay Burger again? You know me. I would never eat at such an,” she thought of a pleasant word to use, “uncouth place, let alone let Sweetie Belle. That poor filly has enough problems, what, with that Diamond Tiara constantly picking on her. She surely doesn't need another reason for fillies to make fun of.” Fluttershy nodded as they started walking. “I understand, but there's nothing wrong with eating out every once and a while. It's only unhealthy when you eat out constantly.” “Quite right, darling. I suppose I'll just get a salad or something.” She glanced over at the Pegasus. “And you?” Fluttershy merely shrugged. “I don't know yet. Twilight says their food is very good.” Rarity scoffed. “I can't imagine Twilight eating at Hay Burger. She's far too good for that. Now, I can see Spike eating there.” Fluttershy nodded, but said nothing. She was surprised that the mention of the purple dragon didn't upset her friend, as it had done so in the past. The rest of the journey to Hay Burger was silent, aside from a cough or a sneeze from Fluttershy. When she did this for the fifth time in a row, it caused Rarity to question whether or not her friend was getting sick. Fluttershy remarked that she was feeling fine, that it must have been her allergies acting up. It came as no surprise to Fluttershy that Hay Burger was packed with ponies. It was a very popular fast-food chain. It took the two friends quite a long time to finally get inside. Standing outside in the heat in a crowd full of ponies was undoubtedly going to cause Rarity to complain, which she did. “Maybe we should pick somewhere else to eat,” Fluttershy said. Rarity frowned. “Sorry, darling. The heat must be getting to me.” “Are you sure?” “Of course, dear.” “O-okay.” Eventually, they made it inside and to the register. An earth pony greeted them with a warm smile. “Welcome to Hay Burger,” he said brightly. “What can I get for you?” The two scanned the menu above them before answering. “I'll have just a salad, please, with a glass of water,” Rarity replied. The earth pony turned to Fluttershy. “And you, miss?” “Oh. I'll have, uh,” she scanned the menu once again, “a double Hay Burger combo, please, with a diet soda.” “And is that for here or to go?” the earth pony inquired. Fluttershy and Rarity looked at each other before turning their heads to look back at the massive crowd behind them. They both turned back to the earth pony and replied in unison, “To go.” “Very well. Is that together or are both meals separate?” Rarity gave a loud groan and rolled her eyes. “Separate.” “Right, then. Total is five bits for your meal, miss,” he said to Fluttershy. “And two bits is the total of your meal,” he added to Rarity. They found a quiet spot in the park in which to eat their lunch. Thankfully, their food was still hot by the time they reached the park. They sat opposite of each other and began eating, only talking in between swallows and gulps of their beverages. Like Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy was thrilled that Rarity was getting back on her hooves and working again. The work would do her some good. For one, it would get her mind off things and giver her something else to concentrate on besides her depression. For another thing, the money that was pouring in from her filling her orders was helping her maintain a stable household for Sweetie Belle. Her income was so great that she hadn't required any of her friends to help her get the kitchen repaired, in spite of the fact that they had insisted that they help her. It took them over an hour to completely consume their meals. Once their waste was thrown in the trash, the two of them found themselves headed towards Sugarcube Corner. As they neared the entrance, Fluttershy spotted Twilight heading inside as well. “Twilight,” Rarity called. Said unicorn turned to the two of them and beamed. “Hello, girls,” she greeted warmly. “What brings you to Sugarcube Corner today?” “Oh, just out spending the day with Fluttershy,” Rarity replied, smiling at her friend. “What about you, dear?” She stopped and observed Twilight up and down. She noticed that the unicorn seemed to be a bit plumper than usual. She walked around the unicorn, observing her carefully. She felt Twilight wince when she lifted up her friend's tail to observe her buttocks before finally standing beside Fluttershy once again. “Are you feeling all right, dear?” Twilight nodded, giving her friend a puzzled look. “Of course. I feel fine. Why do you ask?” “Well, it's just . . . you seem . . . chunkier than you usually do.” Twilight glared. “What's that supposed to mean?” “You look like you've put on a few pounds,” Fluttershy silently replied. “Are you sure you're feeling all right?” “Girls, I feel fine,” Twilight shot back angrily. “Just because I put on a little extra weight doesn't mean there's something wrong! Okay?!” Rarity was so taken aback by this response that even she took a few steps back. She looked genuinely hurt by Twilight's sudden outburst. “We're sorry, dear. We're just a little concerned, is all.” Twilight's face fell. “I'm sorry, too.” She shook her head. “I haven't been myself lately. I haven't been getting much sleep lately and I seem hungry all the time.” “Maybe you should write the Princess,” Rarity suggested. “It's not healthy to put yourself through this sort of torture.” Twilight nodded. “You're right. I'll write the Princess as soon as I can,” she looked behind her at Sugarcube Corner, “but after I get something to snack on.” She turned back to her friends. “Join me? My treat.” “Of course,” Fluttershy agreed happily. Alongside Twilight and Rarity, she walked in Sugarcube Corner. “Well, if it isn't our best customer,” Mrs. Cake cried happily as the three walked in. “Oh, stop,” Twilight said, blushing. “You've been in here practically every day for the past two weeks,” Mrs. Cake continued. “Okay, seriously, stop,” Twilight said in a more serious tone. She smiled nervously, darting her eyes left and right, trying to avoid the concerned looks she was getting from Fluttershy and Rarity. “What can I get for you, Twilight?” Mrs. Cake asked. “The usual? A dozen chocolate cream-filled donuts?” Fluttershy and Rarity's mouths dropped and their eyes grew wide. Twilight's face was beet red. “N-No. I'll, uh, just have, uh, a cupcake.” “Coming right up,” Mrs. Cake said. She smiled at Fluttershy and Rarity. “And what can I get for you two?” Once they'd collected themselves and gotten over their shock, both Fluttershy and Rarity turned to Mrs. Cake. Fluttershy ordered a slice of cheesecake and Rarity ordered a slice of key lime pie. While Mrs. Cake was busy filling their orders, an awkward silence fell between the three friends. “I had no idea it was that bad,” Rarity said. Twilight sighed and looked down. “Just say it, all right. I'm a pig.” She fell to the floor, covering her face with her hooves. “No, you're not,” Fluttershy said, tenderly petting Twilight's mane. “Just because you binge a little every now and then doesn't make you a pig. Just ask Rarity.” “Fluttershy,” Rarity bellowed. Said Pegasus winced. “Sorry, Rarity.” Twilight sighed yet again. “I'm sorry. I just don't know what to do. Ever since Spike left, I feel like there's a void in my life, and the only way to fill it is to stuff myself.” “You know, you really should see a doctor about that sort of thing,” Rarity said. “It's not healthy, Twilight.” Twilight nodded. “I know. I just can't find the energy or the strength to get out of bed. I'm in a rut. Nothing thrills me anymore. I can't even find a reason to get out of the bed in the morning.” “Believe me, darling, I know how you feel,” Rarity said. “But you have to fight through it and get out of bed and go about your day, even if you don't feel like it.” “And here you are, girls,” Mr. Cake crowed, levitating three small white boxes to the register. “Thank you, Mr. Cake,” Twilight said, handing him several bits. “You can keep the change. Let's go, girls.” She levitated all three boxes and led the way out the door. Their conversation was a lot more lively than when it was just Fluttershy and Rarity, probably because it was so hard for Fluttershy to carry on a conversation. Fluttershy and Rarity did their best to avoid the topic of Twilight's weight gain, now anting to embarrass the poor dear any further than she already was. They didn't so much as bat an eye when she offered to finish off their desserts for them. They watched (Rarity in disgust and Fluttershy in awe) as Twilight wolfed down the remains of their desserts in ten seconds flat. “That was impressive,” Fluttershy commented. “Darling, I feel you really must go see your doctor regarding your eating habits,” Rarity remarked. “I don't want to see you become some crazy mare who's cooped up in her house all day living on sweets and junk food.” Twilight chuckled. “Rarity, that's not going to happen. I'll go see my doctor when I have the time. Right now I'm too busy studying and catching up on my reading to go see the doctor.” “Well, make the time,” Rarity insisted. “Your health is far more important than how far along you are in your studies!” Twilight sighed. “All right, all right,” she agreed. “I see your point. I'll schedule to see my doctor tomorrow.” Rarity sighed in relief. “Thank you, darling. It's just that I care about you very much.” She rested a hoof against Twilight's. “You do realize that, don't you?” Twilight nodded. “Of course I do, Rarity.” She suddenly reached over and enveloped Rarity in a hug “You've been such a good friend throughout this whole experience.” She released Rarity and beamed. “And not just you. I mean, all of you.” She smiled at Fluttershy. “Thank you.” “No trouble, Twilight,” Rarity replied. “It's our pleasure. We're a family, rmemeber, and families help each other when there's trouble.” Fluttershy nodded enthusiastically. “That's right.” Twilight's smile widened to the point where it looked like it was hurting the muscles in her face. “I think, thanks to you guys, I'll be able to sleep more soundly tonight.” “If you'd like,” Rarity suggested, “we could have a sleepover. It won't be like last time since me and Fluttershy,” she grabbed said pony and held her close, “get along just like sisters.” Twilight chuckled. “That actually wouldn't be such a bad idea. I'd love to have some company over for the night. It's been so lonely lately, so . . . quiet.” “Well,” Rarity patted Twilight's hoof, “you won't be lonesome tonight.” “Mm-hmm,” Fluttershy hummed, nodding her head. “You're sure this is enough food?” Twilight asked. She stared down at the large quantity of food sitting before them. Rarity nodded. “Most certainly.” “But isn't this a bit . . . much?” Twilight continued. “I would expect this kind of spread from Pinkie Pie, but not from you two.” She finally glanced up at her friends, making eye contact. “Don't worry, Twilight,” Fluttershy said. “Between the three of us, we'll have this all eaten in no time.” “I'm not looking forward to stomach cramps keeping me up at night,” Twilight protested. “Then don't eat,” Rarity suggested. “Me and Fluttershy, on the other hoof, are quite starved, having not eaten anything since breakfast this morning. I skipped lunch to work on an order.” “And I skipped lunch to feed Angel,” Fluttershy stated. “Okay, then. Eat up.” She finally settled onto her pillow, smiling while her friends munched on the snacks that they'd prepared. She suddenly frowned and sighed dejectedly. “It's been so hard living without him.” Rarity smiled encouragingly. “Believe me, darling, we know how you feel. We've been having a hard time coping as well, myself especially seeing as how I was the one who found him dead.” Twilight looked up at her. “I can't imagine how traumatizing that must've been for you.” “I'm still having nightmares, but,” she leaned forward and patted Twilight's hoof, “talking with you is helping a lot, darling.” “I'm sure it is,” Twilight replied. “Have you talked to Rainbow Dash recently?” Fluttershy asked. “She's been rather distant recently, and any time I see her she's in a foul mood.” She shook her head. “I don't know what's wrong with her.” “I'm sure she's just upset about Spike's passing,” Twilight replied. “She's probably just bottling up her emotions. You know how tough she thinks she is. She needs to learn that it's okay to let go, to show your emotions sometimes, even if it means showing other ponies your vulnerable side.” “Good luck with that, dear,” Rarity said. “It's a real shame the others aren't here, then we could have really had a party.” “I asked, but they're all busy,” Twilight stated. “I'm just glad you two didn't have plans.” “I can finish that order tomorrow,” Rarity decided. “And Angel will be fine until morning,” Fluttershy added, “even though I will miss him.” “He'll be okay,” Twilight reassured the cream-colored Pegasus. Fluttershy smiled. “Thank you, Twilight.” “And what about you, Fluttershy?” Twilight inquired. “How have you been doing since the party?” “Fine,” Fluttershy replied, “just fine. Spending time with my animal friends and taking care of them is helping me a lot. It helps my mind off . . . other things.” “If you ever want to talk,” Twilight said, “I'm here. Anytime you want to talk. You don't even need to schedule an appointment. Just walk in and we'll talk.” “I'll be sure to let Rainbow Dash know,” Fluttershy remarked. “Thank you. I'm sure she'll be in a better mood once she's done talking to me.” “Okay, that's enough gloom,” Rarity decided. “What say we talk about something more . . . pleasant?” “Like what?” Fluttershy asked. “Like,” she thought for a moment, “the cider season coming up. If anything, that's sure to put Rainbow Dash in a good mood.” “Provided she gets some,” Fluttershy added with a chuckle. “Yes, I remember her being in a foul mood all day for the past few years because she didn't get any cider,” Twilight said, smiling. “That's going to change this year,” Rarity said. “One, Rainbow Dash has that machine that gives her cider any time she wants it. And two, Applejack has promised her to save a few mugs of cider for her.” “That's sweet of her,” Twilight remarked. “What about the rest of you?” “Me and Fluttershy particularly don't much care for the taste of cider,” Rarity said. “Besides, we'll be at the spa all day. Some pamepring is just what I need to make me feel better about this whole thing.” “Most of us would like nothing more than to move on, Rarity,” Twilight said, “but, unfortunately, it's not that easy.” Fluttershy nodded. “That's right. It can take months or even years to get over a loved one's death. I should know. I've lost a lot of animal friends throughout the years, and it's taken me a long time to move on.” “Really?” Rarity asked. Fluttershy nodded. “Mm-hmm.” “Don't worry, Rarity,” Twilight reassured. “Together, we can move on with time. It shouldn't take as long as a couple of years or, heck, even months, if we all work together. That's what we're here for, right?” “Right,” Rarity and Fluttershy said in unison.
Chapter 9Chapter 9 “Don't worry, Rarity,” Fluttershy said, smiling. “A trip to the spa is just what you need to make you feel better.” Rarity sighed sadly and attempted a smile. “I hope you're right, Fluttershy.” They spent over two hours at the spa, simply talking and being pampered. It was after they were leaving that Rarity suggested that they go out to eat for lunch. Seeing as how she was hungry herself, Fluttershy didn't hesitate. They decided to go to a fancy restaurant that Rarity was fond of called Horseshoe's. She was good friends with the owner, so they were seated almost immediately. “Just take your time, ladies,” their waiter said. “What can I get you to drink?” “Um, I'll have, uh,” Fluttershy scanned the list of drinks, “a soda, please, i-if you wouldn't mind?” The waiter copied down her order and turned to Rarity. “And for you, miss?” drin “Anything with alcohol, please,” Rarity stated, smiling. “Does it matter?” the waiter asked. Rarity shook her head. “No. Wine, whiskey, beer, whatever you have.” “Very well. I'll be back.” Tucking the notepad and pen underneath his wing, their waiter trotted off. Fluttershy fixed Rarity with a concerned look. “Rarity, um, are you . . . okay?” Rarity smiled and brushed back part of her mane with a hoof. “Of course, darling. Why do you ask?” “Well, it's just,” she looked down for a moment before tentaively making eye contact with Rarity again, “you've been drinking an awful lot lately, and I was just wondering if there was anything wrong.” Rarity chuckled. “Oh, Fluttershy, don't worry your pretty little head about that. I'm fine. Everything's fine.” “O-okay.” They fell silent after that, waiting for their drinks. Once their drinks did arrive, Rarity practically grabbed hers and began drinking, while Fluttershy drank hers in small sips. The cream-colored Pegasus watched in awe as Rarity downed her entire bottle of wine in less than a few minutes, then immediately ordered a second one. Throughout the whole ordeal, Fluttershy said nothing, afraid that she would upst Rarity and ruin their date. That was the last thing she wanted to do. By the time they ordered their food and it had arrived, Rarity had drunk a total of five bottles of wine, and she was noticeably starting to get drunk. She began swaying back and forth, clumsily knocking over the empty bottles of wine. Her eyes became bloodshot and her speech became so slurred that Fluttershy had a hard time understanding her. Other customers within the restaurant were starting to look at them strangely, much to Fluttershy's chagrin, and she suspected that maybe it was time for the two of them to leave. The only problem was the fact that they had already ordered and Fluttershy was still quite hungry. She supposed that they could always get a couple of boxes and take their food home with them. When their waiter arrived back at their table, Fluttershy requested that he bring them two Styrofoam boxes to take their lunch in. The waiter, probably noticing how uncomfortable Fluttershy was, quickly agreed and brought the boxes back to her in less than a minute. She scooped both her food and Rarity's food into their respective boxes then, glaring at Rarity, ordered, “Let's go!” Rarity could barely walk right due to how drunk she was. She was constantly bumping into Fluttershy, causing the latter to push her away with an annoyed, angry look on her face. It took them over twenty minutes to get from the restaurant to Fluttershy's cottage, mainly because Rarity kept falling over and Fluttershy having to pick her up again. They could have flown had Fluttershy not had a fear of heights. It was a little while after they arrived back at Fluttershy's cottage that Rarity fell asleep. Fluttershy gently put her on the couch and paced the room back and forth, wondering what she should do. She knew Rarity had a problem with alcohol, but she couldn't just leave Rarity alone to go alert her friends regarding Rarity's problem. She'd known better than to go back to the Carousel Boutique, especially with the unicorn in her current state. Who knows what could have happened to her? She could have gotten hurt or worse. She could have gotten herself killed if she weren't careful. She stopped and turned to look at Rarity as the unicorn mumbled and stirred in her sleep, turning back to Fluttershy. Her stomach growled, reminding her of her own hunger. She heated up her food in the microwave and ate in the living room to keep an eye on Rarity. For the most part, the unicorn stayed put, not moving an inch as she slept. Even if she was asleep, Fluttershy just wanted to make sure that she didn't wake up and hurt herself. Thankfully, Rarity didn't move while Fluttershy ate her lunch. The Pegasus seemed to think that might get cold later on, so she grabbed a spare blanket from the closet and covered her up with it, smiling down at her. She leaned down and pecked Rarity on the head and whispered, “Sleep tight, Rarity,” before she trotted upstairs to her bedroom for a nap. *** Fluttershy awoke with a start upon hearing a loud clanging from downstairs. She sat bolt upright in bed and sprinted down the stairs and to the source of the sound. She stopped, seeing Rarity standing in the middle of the kitchen surrounded by various pots and pans and cooking utensils. She stepped forward, a confused look on her face. “Rarity, what are you doing?” “Making breakfast,” Rarity announced. “I was hungry.” “Oh.” Had she and Rarity been sleeping that long? She nodded towards the microwave. “Your lunch from yesterday is still in there.” Rarity looked over at the microwave and nodded. “Thank you for letting me, darling.” She suddenly wobbled back and forth and she put a hoof to her head. “Oh, my head . . .” Fluttershy went upstairs to the bathroom and looked through the medicine cabinet until she found some medicine for headaches. Giving them to Rarity, along with a glass of water, she smiled when Rarity thanked her and downed the pills with half a glass of water. “Why don't you go lie down while I cook breakfast? Then I'll take you home.” “Well, all right,” Rarity agreed reluctantly, awkwardly walking out of the kitchen to the living room. Fluttershy watched her go before turning and observing the mess in front of her. “Oh, dear,” she moaned. This was going to take quite a while to get cleaned up. Carefully, she stacked the pots and pans according to size, then placed them in the cabinet. The smell of cooking seemed to do nothing but aggravate Rarity's headache. Obviously, the medicine hadn't kicked in yet, and she hated it. She had expected the medicine to take effect no sooner than fifteen minutes. Unfortunately, it was taking longer than that, much to Rarity's irritation. It was such an irritation that she couldn't get to sleep, and she really would have liked to get a couple hours' more sleep. Breakfast was done an hour and a half later. Silently, Fluttershy called Rarity into the kitchen and the unicorn obeyed. She was still a bit wobbly on her legs, but she managed to get to the kitchen without incident. Gently, Fluttershy guided Rarity over to the table and took her place opposite the unicorn. They fixed their plates without much conversation. Fluttershy poured Rarity some orange juice while she poured some milk for herself. Rarity buttered her toast while Fluttershy slapped some raspberry jam on her toast. Once breakfast was over and done with, Fluttershy, as promised, walked Rarity home. “You'll be okay, won't you?” Fluttershy asked. Rarity nodded. “Of course, Fluttershy. I just need to lie down for a few hours, that's all, and I should be okay for the rest of the day.” “Okay. Well, I'll be seeing you, I guess.” Rarity nodded. “See you around.” As soon as the entrance to the Carousel Boutique was closed, Fluttershy turned and started towards Golden Oak Library. *** “You're sure about this?” Twilight asked. Fluttershy nodded. “I really think she has a problem, Twilight. Last night she was so drunk that I was afraid to leave her at home alone.” “How much did she have to drink?” “I don't know. Maybe five, six bottles of wine. Why? Is that a problem?” “I'd say it is. She really needs to get help. We may need to do an intervention.” “Is that really necessary?” “If her drinking is as bad as you say it is.” “But what if she gets mad? What if she gets mad at me and never talks to me again?” “That's not going to happen, Fluttershy. You're did the right thing by coming to me for help. Yes, she may be mad at first, but she'll eventually learn that you're just doing it for her own good. Don't worry. I'll be with you, and so will the others.” “O-okay, Twilight.” “Relax, it's going to be all right, I promise.” Fluttershy's face brightened. “When should we do it?” “It'd have to be at a time that's convenient for everypony. Hmm . . .” She tapped her chin with her hoof. “I'll have to schedule a meeting with everypony, minus Rarity, of course. I'm sure she'll be busy with filling orders, so there's no risk in her coming to the meeting.” “When should the meeting take place?” “How does Sunday sound? Everypony should be free that day.” Fluttershy thought about it for a moment or two before nodding her in agreement. “Okay. Sounds good to me.” Twilight beamed. “Then it's settled! We'll meet on Sunday at lunch to discuss Rarity's problem. I'll let the others know. You just go back to your cottage and act like nothing is going on.” Fluttershy nodded. “Can do!” “Great! If everything goes well, then by this time next week, Rarity should be getting the help she needs.”
Chapter 10Chapter 10 Twilight peeked out the window of the library to see four multi-colored ponies racing across town, headed towards her library. She let go of the curtain and walked over to the library door. She wrenched open the door with her magic and ushered in the others before slamming the door behind her and locking it. Turning, she smiled and walked over to the circle of friends in the center of the room. She sat down, joining them. “Did all of you get here okay?” “Just fine,” Applejack said. “Does Rarity know anything?” Twilight asked. “No,” Fluttershy said, smiling proudly. She suddenly frowned and glanced at the others. “I'm not the only one who's noticed the problem, right?” “No, sugarcube,” Applejack reassured. “We've all noticed it.” “Mm-hmm,” the others agreed. “I didn't notice it until cider season,” Applejack said. “She drank as much as Pinkie Pie.” “And she told me she and Fluttershy were going to be busy that day,” Twilight stated. Fluttershy nodded in agreement. “And I noticed it when I was flying over Horsehoe's last week,” Rainbow Dash said. “Rarity was so drunk that she could barely stand up.” “I'm really worried about her,” Fluttershy stated. “We all are, Fluttershy,” Twilight said. “That's why we're all here, right?” “Right,” the others chorused. “So, when can everypony be here for the intervention?” Twilgiht asked. “How 'bout the same time next week?” Applejack suggested. The others nodded in agreement. “Great,” Twilight cried. “Is everypony sure that they can make it?” “I have to work a few hours,” Pinkie Pie said, “but I don't think the Cakes will mind if I take off for the day. It is for Rarity's sake, after all.” Twilight smiled. “Good girl, Pinkie Pie.” She looked around the room. “Everypony else?” “We'll be here,” Rainbow Dash said, smiling widely. “Excellent,” Twilight said, pumping her hoof in the air. “Remember, we have to be very discreet. Nopony lead Rarity on what's really going on. Make up some kind of excuse.” “Ooh, ooh, ooh,” Pinkie Pie cried, hopping up and down with her hoof in the air. “Yes, Pinkie Pie?” Twilight asked. “We could use the excuse that we're throwing a party to cheer her up,” Pinkie Pie said excitedly. “All we need is to have one of us lead Rarity here.” “That's a great idea, Pinkie Pie,” Twilight replied. She turned to Fluttershy. “Fluttershy, will you be okay with leading Rarity here?” Fluttershy nodded. “Of course.” “Great,” Twilight said. “So, we're all clear on the plan then?” The others nodded. “Mm-hmm,” they all said. Twilight smiled. “Excellent!” Fluttershy tentatively knocked on Rarity's door. “Excuse me, Rarity?” She gently pushed open the door to the Boutique and looked inside, from left to right. There was no sign of Rarity anywhere. She eased her way inside, closing the door with her hindhoof before trotting up the stairs to Rarity's bedroo. “Rarity,” she called, looking up and down and left and right for any sign of her best friend. “Rarity!” “Just a moment, darling,” a voice called. Fluttershy followed the source of the voice to the bathroom. Rarity stood in front of the mirror, plucking her eyebrows, the tweezers held in the air with her magic. She had a towel wrapped around her head, an obvious sign that she had just gotten out of the shower. Fluttershy gently eased her way in, the hinges of the door creaking as the door moved. “Are you ready for your party?” “Just about,” Rarity replied, continuing to pluck her eyebrows. The tweezers were lowered to the counter and she turned to walk out of the bathroom. “All ready!” She smiled brightly at Fluttershy and made her way down the hall. She stopped at Sweetie Belle's room. “Sweetie Belle! I'm going out for a while, okay? Please stay out of the kitchen and away from . . . well, everything else!” “Me?!” Sweetie Belle bellowed. “You were the one who caught the ktichen on fire, not me! And if I recall correctly, I dragged your drunk hind end to safety!” “Hey, watch your mouth!” “Sorry.” “I'm going out. Stay indoors. I'm locking the doors. Don't answer for anyone, you hear?” “I know, I know! Get going!” Rarity snorted in irritation before turning with a glare and barking at Fluttershy, “Come on!” They made their way outside of the Boutique (Rarity made sure that the front door was properly locked before leaving) and started towards Twilight's, where the party was being held as Rarity had ben told by Pinkie Pie. “There was really no need for you to throw this party for me, you know?” Rarity said. Fluttershy nodded. “I know. It's just that you seemed so down in the dumps lately that I wanted to do something to make you feel better.” Rarity chuckled and pecked Fluttershy on the cheek. “Darling, you're so thoughtful. Thank you, really. I do appreciate it that you'd throw a party just for me to make me feel better, but I assure you, I'm fine.” “I'm sure you are, but I figured that a party would just be the thing to make everypony feel better. It's not good to spend so much time wallowing in your own misery all the time.” Rarity nodded in agreement. “True, true.” There was little conversation after that. The two of them made verbal observations as they walked. Quills & Sofas had a sale going on and there were plenty of ponies among the square selling food and other items. Even Sugarcube Corner had a “buy three, get one free” sale going on today, though both had to resist the temptation to trot over and partake in said sale, however hard it was. They eventually reached the library and stepped inside, Fluttershy leading the way to take her place among the circle of friends. Upon entering the library and seeing her group of friends sitting together in a circle, she stopped and blinked, her mouth agape. “What's going on here?!” She glared at Pinkie Pie. “You said this was a party!” “Duh,” Pinkie Pie said, rolling her eyes. “This is a party, silly! It's your “Rarity, we're really worried about you and we'd like you to get some help” party!” Rarity sputtered for a moment or two before yelling, “What?!” She looked around before shaking her head and backing away. “N-no! Y-y-you've got it all wrong! There's nothing wrong with me! I'm just . . . I'm just stressed, that's all!” Twilight, tentatively, approached the shaking mare. “Rarity, you have been drinking an awful lot lately. We're here to help,” she smiled, “no matter what it takes.” “I have not,” Rarity said defensively, glaring and stomping a hoof. “Have so,” Applejack said. “Have not!” “Have so!” “Have not!” “Have so!” “Enough,” Twilight yelled. She pulled Applejack back with her magic before once again getting in front of Rarity. “Let's talk about what this is really about. It's about Spike, isn't it?” Once again, Rarity shook her head. “No!” “Rarity, you're a terrible liar,” Applejack spoke up yet again. “Ever since he passed away, y'all been acting different. You're moody. Sometimes y'all are in such a funk that you can't even get out of bed. It's getting' to where y'all are drinkin' as much as cider as Rainbow Dash.” “Yeah,” Rainbow agreed, chuckling and nodding her head. She glared at Applejack. “Hey!” Applejack ignored her. “Y'all need help, Rares, and we're gonna help ya!” “That's right,” Twilight agreed, nodding. “Though, I wouldn't be lying if I said I understand why you're drinking so much. I've been there, so depressed you can't find the strength or the reason to get out of bed, but you have to fight it. You can't let it control you. You've got to get out and about, even if you don't feel like it.” “N-no,” Rarity continued. “You're . . . you're wrong. . . .” “Are we?” Fluttershy asked, giving the others a concerned look. Twilight glared at her. “Stop it! You did the right thing arranging this whole thing.” Rarity turned her attention to Fluttershy. “You!” She lunged at the cream-colored mare, who squeaked in fear and surprise and cowered on the floor. Rarity would have succeeded in attacking her had Twilight nto caught her in mid-air with her magic and settled her back on the floor. “Stop it, Rarity! You know we're right! We're trying to help you, but we can't do that until you let us! If you let us help you, you can finally move on with your life and be happier for it. I'll be serving as your counselor while you're in rehab.” “Oh, no,” Rarity cried, shaking her head. “No way in Equestria am I going to rehab.” “Too late, silly,” Pinkie Pie said. “We've already gotten you enrolled.” Rarity gritted her teeth. “What?!!” “Rarity, ca–” Twilight began. “You mean to tell me you lot deliberately went behind my back and enrolled me in a program without asking me first?!” Rarity shouted hotly. “Well, what else were we supposed to do?!” Rainbow Dash snapped back. “You won't talk to us! You won't let us help you! It was either enroll you in rehab or watch you drink yourself to death!” Rarity's expression softened and she looked down, circling the floor with her hoof. She sighed before looking up and surveying the colorful mares around her. “How long do I have to think it over?” “We'll give you a day,” Twilight stated. “After that, if you haven't come to a decision, we'll take you to rehab by force, by order of Princess Celestia herself.” Rarity swallowed hard and again looked down at the floor. “May I go?” “On the condition that you won't drink,” Twilight stated. Rarity nodded. “Very well. I, uh, have some cider at my place that you'll probably won't to get rid of.” Twilight looked at the others. “Should we do that now or wait until she's in rehab?” “Ah suggest we do it now,” Applejack said. “Don't wanna run the risk of her drinking again.” The others nodded in agreement. “Fine then,” Twilight said. She addressed Rarity. “We'll follow you home and help you get rid of the cider.” “What if . . .” She swallowed. “What if I don't want to?” “Rarity, you really need to stop and think about the danger you're putting Sweetie Belle in,” Twilight said. “She nearly died because of you. What if you get in a rage while drunk and seriously hurt her?” Rarity's breath caught and she backed away. “N-no. That couldn't happen. She . . . she knows I love her far too much to hurt her.” “Doesn't matter,” Rainbow Dash said. “You won't be able to stop yourself from hurting her if you're drunk.” “Especially if she does something to provoke you,” Twilight added. “We're not trying to get you angry or upset you, Rarity. We're just trying to help you, that's all, like good friends should.” “Mm-hmm,” the others agreed enthusiastically. “All right,” Rarity agreed. “Everypony follow me.” With a sad face, Rarity watched as her precious liquor was poured down the drain of the kitchen sink. Not surprisingly, she had at first attempted to stop them from taking her liquor before Twilight had cast a spell on her that froze her in place, thus allowing them to take the booze without her protesting. Once they'd gotten a hold of said liquor, the spell on her had been disabled. She had been instructed to not move while they worked, pouring perfectly good cider down the drain. Applejack seemed to notice her friend's sad depression. She put a hoof around her and smiled. “Relax, sugarcube. Y'all will feel much better once you get better and finally be free of this obsession.” Rarity sighed. “I guess so.” “That's the last of it,” Twilight said, dumping the empty bottle of cider in the trash. “We'll leave you alone now so that you can do some thinking. Remember, you only have twenty-four hours to come to a decision. I hope you make the right one.” Along with the others, she walked out of the Boutique. The door was shut, leaving Rarity alone in the middle of the kitchen.
Chapter 11Chapter 11 Twilight turned out to quite an amazing counselor. With doctor-patient confidentiality, Rarity was able to lay out the whole story about how Spike had come to her with a love letter, how she had completely ignored him, how he had felt rejected, and finally, how she had found his dead corpse in the middle of the Golden Oak Library. Twilight had sat silently, absorbing all of the information that Rarity spilled out. Once she was done, the white mare looked absolutely terrified, probably because of how worried she was about how Twilight would react. There was a minute or two of silence–a very long uncomfortable silence that made Rarity anxious for Twilight to say something, anything. “I think we've stumbled onto the root of your problems, Rarity,” Twilight said. She made a note in her notepad, and she heard Rarity give an audible sigh of relief. She lowered her notepad and eyed Rarity. “You feel very guilty over Spike's death, but I don't think it was entirely your fault. Remember, you rejected him all the time and he seemed okay with it.” Rarity glared. “Not helping, Twilight.” Twilight chuckled. “Oh, yeah, right.” She cleared her throat. “Like I said, I don't think it was entirely your fault. Spike was already depressed long before he came to you with that love letter.” “Really?” Twilight nodded. “Uh-huh. There's a specific journal entry that caught my attention when I was reading it.” She lifted said journal from her saddlebag with her magic. Caught in her magic, the book was opened and several pages were flipped before she lowered the book to Rarity's eye-level. “Take a look at this.” Silently, Rarity read. My life is hell. Why is it nothing ever goes right for me? It seems to me that I'm just a big joke to everpony. Nothing ever goes my way. The love of my life doesn't love me. I can never catch a break. Why are the gods so hateful towards me? Is it something that I did? Did I do something wrong? I must have, otherwise my life wouldn't suck this much. I'm so confused, so depressed. What can I do to make my life better, to make Rarity notice me and finally go out with me? Well, that's it for this journal entry. Talk to you later, journal. ~Spike~ “Hmm,” Rarity said, “I guess I must have missed this journal entry when I was reading it originally. Still, my rejecting him is what led him to kill himself, wasn't it?” Twilight shrugged. “I can't answer that question for you, Rarity, but what I can tell you is that you shouldn't let it control you. You need closure so you can move on with your life.” Rarity smiled. “Closure. Got it.” Both mares jumped when they heard a loud ringing erupt the silence in the room. Twilight reached forward and pushed a button on the timer resting on the table between them. “That's all the time we have for today, I'm afraid.” Rarity looked downcast. “But we were just starting to make progress.” Twilight nodded. “I know, but I'll see you again next week, same time as always.” Rarity sighed dejectedly. “All right. See you next week, Twilight.” Without another word to her counselor, she exited the room, standing in the middle of a hallway. She looked left, then right, trying to remmeber which way her room was. Which way had she turned to enter the room that served as her and Twilight's meeting place for their counseling sessions? She closed her eyes and tried to remember. Ooh, this was so frustrating! Her eyes popped open as the recollection suddenly hit her. That was it! She'd turned right to enter the room. She took a left and began to happily trotting down the hallway. Entering her room, she climbed onto her bed and resumed reading the latest book that she was obsessed with. Seeing as how she wasn't allowed to leave the premises and she didn't have much else to do, reading was the only way to maintain her sanity. Twilight gave her free reign of her library. During their counseling sessions, she would tell Twilight which books she wanted and Twilight would deliver them to her as soon as possible, knowing that poor Rarity had to be bored out of her mind doing nothing but staying in her room all the time. The latest book that Rarity was reading was a thrilling adventure starring Daring Do as she struggled to once again obtain possession of an ancient artifact that could destory the world before some dastardly rival got their hooves on it and do only Celestia knew what with it. She chuckled to herself, knowing that she could never bring herself to do the job of Daring Do. All that dirt and sweat wasn't for her, but her adventures certainly made for an interesting tale. At the very least, they helped her pass the time while she waited for her next counseling session with Twilight. She had made a few friends while in rehab. Sometimes she would feel the compulsion to get out of her room and mingle among the other patients. There was a red fox named Rita Landow who, like Rarity, was an alcoholic and came from a broken home, a broken family. She was extremely hateful and angry. Once Rarity had actually sat down with her and talked to her, getting to the root of her problems, she had become a lot more kinder and sweeter as the days had gone on. When she got right down to it, Rarity realized that the only thing that the fox really wanted was to be loved, just like another one of her friends. As far Rarity was concerned, Rita Landow and Erik Matthews, another one of her friends, were one in the same. Both of them came from broken homes and broken families and both of them wanted pretty much the same thing: just to be loved and cared for. Rarity had devoted much of her time, when she wasn't in therapy, talking to him and her, sometimes alone and sometimes with all three of them together. At her request, the two of them had started to spend time together, and they seemed to be hitting it off rather well. So, if anything else, Rarity was at least making a difference in the lives of others. Even so, Rarity remained a complete and utter mess, as evidenced by her sessions with Twilight, who noted that she was making progress, but still had a long way to go before she was her old self again. When she wasn't talking to her friends or talking with Twilight, she was spending her time sketching possible outfits that she would design in the future. Even though it took a long time for her to work up the motivation to get back to work, she found that working in itself was kind of like therapy for her. It provided her with a way to forget about things and just be herself. Unfortunately, with her schedule of meals and talking, she only got to do some drawing a couple of hours before heading off to bed. Despite this, it was a good way to wind down after a long day of doing nothing but talking. If nothing else, it helped get her tired. Honestly, Rarity was surprised that she didn't mind the fact that she would be stuck at the facility for more than a few months. She didnt' care how long it took, just as long as she got better and was able to move past the tragedy that had stricken her for so long. At first she'd been reluctant to go due to her worries over what to do with Sweetie Belle, but Applejack–Celestia bless her soul–in her unwavering kindness had agreed that the little filly could stay at her house with Apple Bloom. The two fillies were elated about this plan, stating it would just like they were sisters. Though, the group agreed that they would take turns looking after Sweetie Belle. So, Sweetie Belle's safety and well-being was at least one thing that she wouldn't have to worry about during her recovery. Due to Twilight being such a good therapist, Rarity found herself getting better far more quickly than she had anticipated. The white unicorn even recommended her to Rita and Erik, both of whom weren't happy with their therapists. The former had viciously attacked her therpaist when he had suggested that she lose some weight, while the latter wasn't comfortable talking with his therapist. In spite of the fact that she didn't know them very well, Twilight agreed to take them under her wing, with Rarity telling her to be very careful with her words as the two of them were very sensitive. As Rarity's sessions with Twilight drew on, they became more and more personal. Twilight was bound and determined to cut through the facade that Rarity was putting on. She acted as if her alcoholism and stress was caused by Spike's passing, but Twilight knew that wasn't true. The others, nor herself, had ever turned to alcohol as a means of coping with Spike's passing, and none of them were feeling stressed due to it either. Rarity's reason for turning to alcohol and feeling stressed all the time seemed to run deeper, like Rarity was attempting, but failing miserably, was trying to conceal up the real reason. Even if she wasn't the Element of Honesy, Twilight Sparkle noted that Rarity was a terrible liar, mainly due to looking for the signs that Applejack had learned to spot when someone was lying. For example, Rarity's eyes were constantly darting about the room. She was constantly touching herself. Her breathing became heavy and she often complained about feeling hot. Had one been only listening to the two of them through the other side of the door, one would swear that the two of them were going at it like a couple of horny chihuahuas. Finally, Twilight had decided that she'd had enough shenanigans and tackled Rarity to the floor, holding her down. “T-Twilight, what in heaven's name are you doing?” Rarity cried. She struggled against Twilight's tight grasp on her. “No more games, Rarity,” Twilight said sternly. “You're going to tell me the truth and you're going to tell me right now!” Her horn glowed and she lowered it to Rarity's mouth. “Oh, please tell me you're not going to make me suck you off!” Twilight simply rolled her eyes at this comment and ordered, “Open your mouth!” Once Rarity had complied, she shoved her horn inside until the tip of it touched Rarity's tongue. After a couple of seconds, she got off Rarity and took her seat once again. “All right. Spill.” Rarity swallowed hard before taking a deep breath and spouting out, “I killed Spike!” She covered her mouth with both hooves, eyes wide. Had that really just come out of her mouth?! Twilight squinted. “What are you talking about?” “He . . . he came to my shop one day with a love letter and I completely rejected–” “Rarity, we've been over this before. Don't you remember?” Rarity nodded and looked down, looking downcast. “I know, but . . . I can't get over it. It still keeps me up at night. I can't sleep. I can't eat. All I can think about is Spike and that love letter of his and that I completely ignored.” She fell flat on her stomach, covwering on the floor with her hooves on her head, as if she was trying to get rid of a really bad migraine. She opened her eyes and looked up when she felt Twilight lift her head up with a hoof. “Rarity, I can't understand what you must be going through right now, but I'll do my best to help you get through it, I promise.” She helped Rarity to her hooves. “No matter how long it takes, right?” Rarity beamed. “Right!” “Good. Now, the thing that you need is closure. I suggest you go to Spike's grave and say what you need to say, take a few days off, then come back here for another session.” “Is that allowed?” “I can give you a week-free pass so that you can go back home nad get your thoughts together.” “Are you sure?” “If it'll help, then yes. I'm not sure if it will help you or not, but there's no harm in trying, right?” Rarity sighed and thought aout it for a moment or two before nodding her head in agreement. “All right, Twilight. If you think this can help, then I'm willing to do it.” “I'll get everything set up so that you can leave. Of course it'll take a few days.” “Not a problem, dear. I must say I've quite enjoyed myself during my stay here at the facility.” “Good to know. While you're gone, I'll still be working with Rita and Erik. That should give me something to do while I wait for you to come back.” “Well, I'm off. Let me know when you have everything squared away, will you?” “Of course I will.” “Great. Love you. See you in a few days.” And with that, she was out the door, heading back to her room as if it was just the end of any ordinary therapy session. *** As Twilight said, it did take a while for her to get everything set up so that Rarity could return to Ponyville. By this point in her recovery, Rarity had become sober and was no longer relying on alcohol, unlike Rita. After evaluating her mental state and making it a strict rule that she not be around any kind of alcohol at any time and after ensuring that Rarity understood the rules and regulations of being out and about outside of the facility and that she would obey said rules and regulations, it was agreed that she could return to Ponyville to get her bearings for at least a week. A week alone would be more than enough time for her to get her head cleared and get her thoughts together, Twilight hoped. Twilight went with Rarity to the train station to see her off. The two of them sat inside the station, sitting across from each other, drinking some fresh, hot coffee while they communed among themselves. “I really did love him, you know,” Rarity said. “Not romantically, of course, but platonically.” Twilight nodded. “He knows you did, Rarity, and he knows that you would never do anything to hurt him intentionally. He just wanted a bit more out of his relationship with you.” “Twilight Sparkle, you know as well as I do that it would never work out. What would other ponies think? What would they say? It wouldn't look good for my public image. Not to mention the height and age difference. He was very cute, I'll give him that, but he wasn't exactly . . . mature and old enough to handle the responsibility of being in a relationship.” “Maybe that's why he was so keen on getting together with you. Maybe he wanted to learn how to handle a relationship.” Rarity hoffed. “If he wanted to learn the inner workings of a relationship, he could have just dated my sister or Apple Bloom.” Twilight's face brightened at this suggestion. “They would make a cute couple, wouldn't they? Either one of them.” Rarity smiled and nodded her head while she took another sip of her coffee. Twilight cleared her throat. “Have you been doing any better since I last saw you?” “I've been getting better sleep, yes, thank you for asking. You'll take good care of Erik and Rita for me, won't you?” “Of course, Rarity. You have my word. They're in good hooves.” “Good to know. Just wanting to make sure, that's all.” “Are you hungry? I could go get us some honey buns or something.” “Thank you, but, no, thanks. Those things are awfully messy and I just showered. I wouldn't want to get my coat all ruined.” Twilight frowned. “What is it with you and apperances? I mean, are you so worried about what others will think of you that you won't even give my Spike the chance that he can be romantic?” “Well, as I said, Twilight, it's not just that. It's also the age and maturity level.” “He's actually very mature for his age, far more mature than your sister and her friends.” “Hey!” She leaned forward and glared. “What are you trying to say about my sister and her friends?” “Nothing, nothing. It's just that some of the thinsg they do to earn their cutie marks seem . . . well, rather stupid.” “Now you're calling my sister stupid?!” “N-No, no. It's not like that.” “How dare you!” Before Twilight could react, Rarity had reared back her hoof and given her a powerful slap across the face. She looked behind her, hearing a train whistle, meaning that her ride was approaching. “Enjoy your coffee, Twilight Sparkle!” With a flick of her tail, she grabbed her things and headed outside to board her train home.
Chapter 12Chapter 12 Closure. Was that was Twilight had said that she needed? Closure. Yes, that was it. That was what Rarity needed. But how was she supposed to find closure? She paced back and forth in her bedroom, racking her brain over and over again on how to tackle her guilt. She'd been feeling like this for months on end. Therapy was helping some, but she needed more. Sighing heavily, she flopped down on the bed, her body sinking into the mattress of her bed. She stared up at the ceiling while the comfort and softness of her bed began to envelope her so much that she could easily have fallen asleep right then and there. She turned her head to look over at the clock on her bedside table. It was about three thirty in the afternoon. Her eyes met the ceiling yet again as she went back to thinking about what course of action she should take. Of course she hadn't bothered to pick up Sweetie Belle from Applejack's, feeling the need to be alone so that she could get her head cleared and come up with a way to solve the problem that she currently had. Thankfully, Applejack had agreed to look after her little sister while she tackled her dilemma. A tear fell from her eye. She missed him so much, probably just as much as Twilight did, if not more. True, the two of them hadn't exactly been close, so maybe that was why his passing was affecting Twilight more than her. Even so, they had still been friends. After all, he had been her biggest pillar of support throughout her career, giving her his honest opinion on outfits and what, at least he thought, could make them better. His ideas weren't always the best course of action, but she would always take them to heart and try them out, if only to keep from hurting his feelings sometimes. She had even taken a bite of that wretched pie he had made while declaring servitude to Applejack, just to keep him from feeling hurt by her refusal to eat it. She smiled at the memory, remembering that it had tasted like charcoal. Her gaze fell from the ceiling to her stomach as it growled. That was right. She hadn't eaten breakfast today. All she'd had was a cup of java and that was about it. It was well past lunchtime and dinner was fast approaching. Nonetheless, she saw no harm in getting something to much on, to tide her over until dinner. Strangely enough, she didn't really feel like eating, much less getting up and cooking something for dinner. With how many bits she made from her career, she could easily just go out to eat instead of needlessly dirtying up dishes just to make a meal for one pony. She stopped to look at herself in the mirror and struck a pose. She did look malnourished, but that was to be expected given that she'd had no appetite as of late due to her depression over Spike's passing away. On the other hoof, Sweetie Belle had been eating constantly, to the point where Rarity had had to put a chain and lock on the fridge and put a spell on the doorway to the kitchen to keep Sweetie Belle from gorging herself. Obviously, the little filly and Spike had been closer than Rarity or anypony else had realized. Instead of talking to her older sister about how she was feeling regarding Spike's death, she had decided to start eating her emotions, finding comfort in food. Then again, Rarity had never actually taken the time to talk to Sweetie Belle about Spike's death, probably because the older unicorn had been too busy fussing over herself and the orders that needed feeling. She glared at her reflection, hating that despite being the Element of Generosity, she could be so selfish and stubborn sometimes. And now, because of her selfishness, her little sister was a big, fat slob who could barely go through any door without getting stuck. The filly must have been having a field day at Applejack's, what with all the food that Applejack and her family cooked. The first thing she was going to do as soon as Sweetie Belle came home was put her on a strict diet and exercise regime to help her lose the excess weight she'd put on over the past few months. She continued on with her journey, stopping when she reached the first floor and noticed the kitchen a few feet to her right. She shook her head. There was no sense in making dishes dirty for just one meal. It wouldn't kill her to spend a few bits on a meal at a diner. With her popularity as a fashion designer, she could easily get the spent bits back in no time at all. Exiting the Boutique, she thought about maybe stopping by Applejack's to see how Sweetie Belle was doing, just to check up on her and see that she was all right. Hopefully, the filly hadn't eaten them out of house and home. Still, that could wait until after she'd gotten something to eat. Her growling stomach wouldn't allow her to skip a meal long enough to see how her little sister was faring at her friend's. Maybe it was her depressed mood or maybe it was because she was thinking of Sweetie Belle, but either way she was craving something sweet. Sugarcube Corner was the ideal place for getting her fix. It wasn't as if a little something sugary wasn't going to give her a paunch or anything. What would a few chooclatey treats do to her besides hype her up and add a slight bulge to her stomach? She could easily work it off on her way to Applejack's and back. She wasn't too surprised to see Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash eating and chatting together when she entered the eatery. After all, they were best friends. However, Rainbow Dash appeared to be doing most of the talking, Fluttershy being the shy, quiet type and all. Their eyes met when Fluttershy looked past Rainbow Dash and noticed Rarity entering. The cream-colored Pegasus waved her over, causing Rainbow Dash to turn her head and smile and wave. She thought, What the hay, and decided to go ahead and join them before ordering. Besides, they were probably wondering how she was doing anyway. She was actually a little surprised that Rainbow Dash was so elated to see her, especially considering how little time they had spent together. Nonetheless, she sat down on one side of the table, between the two of them. “So,” Rainbow Dash said, smiling and resting a hoof on the side of her head, “how goes therapy?” “Rainbow Dash,” Fluttershy scolded quietly, glaring. “No, it's okay,” Rarity corrected her friend. She turned to Rainbow Dash and grinned. “It's going pretty great, actually. I really think I'm close to a breakthrough.” “That's so great, Rarity,” Fluttershy said. “Before you know it, you'll be out of there and back to your old job in no time.” Rainbow Dash nodded. “I second that.” She lifted her glass and clinked it with Fluttershy's before rearing back her head and taking a swig. “Are you hungry?” Fluttershy inquired Rarity. She pushed a basket of chili cheese fries towards the unicorn. Rarity stared down at the basket of fries. The smell alone was so intoxicating that she could just bury her face in the basket and eat them all at once, but that wasn't ladylike. She wouldn't be caught dead doing such a thing. She looked up at Fluttershy. “Thank you, kindly, but I'd prefer getting my own food, thanks.” “Oh, o-okay.” Fluttershy pushed the basket of fries back to the center of the table. “What are you getting?” “I don't know yet, but I'm in the mood for some chocolate.” “I recommend the chocolate milkshake,” Fluttershy said. She took a sip of the chocolate milkshake in front of her. “It's simply to die for. What a taste?” Once again, she offered her own food towards her friend. “No, thanks,” Rarity replied. “I'll be right back.” She trotted over to the main counter. “Hello, Mr. Cake. Pinkie Pie busy cooking today?” Mr. Cake nodded. “Yes, she's been cooking up a storm.” He and Rarity both jumped when they heard an explosion, followed by Pinkie Pie yelling, “I got it!” He turned his head to see the kitchen coated in dough and Pinkie Pie happily, and greedily, wolfing it down as she swam in it. He chuckled and shook his head before turning back to Rarity. “What can I get for you?” “Uh . . .” Rarity raised her head to scan the menu and put a hoof to her chin, tapping it while she thought about her choices. “Hmm . . .” She squinted and finally looked back down at Mr. Cake. “I'll take some cheesecake with a small helping of whipped cream and a chocolate milkshake, if you please.” “Of course,” Mr. Cake replied. “That'll be ten bits.” Rarity levitated exactly ten bits from her saddlebag and set them on the counter. “And we'll call you when your order's ready,” Mr. Cake added while he deposited the bits into the register. “Please and thank you,” Rarity remarked before turning and walking back over to Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. As she was walking away, she heard Bon Bon mutter, “About time. Ow!” Obviously, Lyta hadn't found her comment too pleasant and had chastised her by jabbing a hoof in her side. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash were in the midst of a discussion about whether or not Fluttershy should ask Bulk Biceps out on a date. “Come on, Fluttershy,” Rainbow Dash urged. “You totally have a crush on that guy. It's obvious to me and everypony else.” “Oh, I don't know,” Fluttershy said. “I do like him, but he's not exactly dating material. Besides, I don't even have a crush on him.” “Well, who do you have a crush on?” “I can't say.” “Who?” “You're going to laugh at me.” “Who?!” “You!” Rainbow Dash became silent while her face fell. Her eyes darted about the room before finally making contact with Fluttershy's eyes again. “Uh . . . wow . . .” “Ladies,” Rarity said, taking her seat by them. “Did you happen to find anything interesting to talk about while I was gone?” “Well, apparently,” Rainbow Dash said, “Fluttershy here has a crush on me.” Rarity beamed at Fluttershy. “You do? That's so cute.” “Well, real cute,” Rainbow Dash said, monotone. She cleared her throat and, in desperate need to change the subject, said, “So what are you doing back here in Ponyville, Rarity?” “Twilight thought it'd be good for me to come back and get my bearings, to get some 'closure', as she put it. To be honest, I'm not exactly sure what that means, but if it helps me finally move on, then I'm willing to give it a try.” Rainbow Dash breathed a sigh of relief. “Good. That means we can finally go back to the way things used to be. You know, before all this drama started up with you and Spike.” When Rarity glared at her, she hastily added, “Not that that's a bad thing. I mean, we've all been struggling as well, but we've all managed to move past that and move on with our lives, all without the help of some therapist, thank you very much.” “We all react differently to different things, Rainbow Dash,” Fluttershy stated. “So what if Rarity is attending therapy to help her move on with her life? It doesn't mean anything.” Rarity nodded her head. “Have either of you spoken with Sweetie Belle recently?” Both of her friends shook their heads. “Oh,” Rarity continued. “Well, I was planning on stopping by Applejack's to see how she's been doing since I've been gone.” “I'm sure she's fine, Rarity,” Fluttershy said. “You know as well as I do that Applejack won't let anything happen to her.” Rarity nodded her head. “I'm most certain that she won't, but I'm still going to go check up on her to make sure that she hasn't gotten herself and her friends killed.” “Trying to get their cutie marks is going to be the death of them, I swear,” Rainbow Dash agreed, stuffing a few chili cheese fries in her mouth. Rarity winced. “Ugh! Rainbow Dash, how can you eat that repulsive stuff?” “Easy,” Rainbow Dash replied. “With how many calories I burn while flying, I'll be able to lose any pounds I put on in no time.” “Really?” Rarity was taken aback by this statement. “I didn't know you could burn calories whilst flying.” “Of course,” Rainbow Dash continued. “Flying is like form of exercise, like bucking trees is Applejack's.” “Cheesecake with chocolate shake,” Mr. Cake called. “Oh, there's my order,” Rarity chirped, getting up and walking over to the counter. Once she got back to the table, she began eating while continuing on with her conversation with Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. It was half past five by the time the trio broke up. Fluttershy left to make sure that her animal friends had dinner before going off to bed while Rainbow Dash soared off to clear away the clouds before the day was done. Finally, Rarity set out for Applejack's to check up on Sweetie Belle. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle were playing together in the front yard when Rarity arrived at Sweet Apple Acres. Apple Bloom was jumping up and down on Sweetie Belle's big, round white stomach while the latter giggled madly as her belly jiggled, making its contents slosh audibly. Rarity smiled, seeing how happy Sweetie Belle while living at Applejack's. At least she was behaving herself and staying out of mischief. Though, Rarity's fears seemed to have been realized, as she noticed that Sweetie Belle seem to have gotten fatter while living with Applejack. That shouldn't have been surprising, given how much Applejack herself was able to eat. It was still kind of jarring to see how big and round the little filly had gotten over the past few weeks. Rarity walked past the pair (both of them said, “Hello” to her and she returned the gesture) and up the front steps to the front door. She lifted a hoof and knocked gently, at least ten times, before stepping back and waiting for Applejack to answer the door. Instead of Applejack, however, Big Mac answered the door. She grinned and said, “Hello, Big Macintosh. Is Applejack home?” The large, red stallion looked behind him, turned back to Rarity, and uttered a deep, “Yep.” He stepped aside to let her squeeze inside the home. Not surprisingly, Applejack was helping Granny Smith cook in the kitchen. Though she'd already eaten, Rarity couldn't deny the fact that the scent in the kitchen as she entered was downright heavenly. Hearing hoofsteps, Applejack turned and beamed when she saw Rarity enter the room. “Howdy there, Rarity.” She tipped her Stenson hat to the unicorn. “What brings you here/” “I'm just stopping by to check up on Sweetie Belle,” Rarity replied. “Care to stay and have some dinner?” Applejack inquired. Rarity shook her head. “Thank you, but I've already eaten. Has Sweetie Belle been behaving herself since I've been gone?” “Course she has,” Applejack said. “She's been a little angel. Never had to get onto her but for a few times for sneaking up in the middle o' the night and trying to get food.” “That's what I was afraid of. Forgive my language, but she's been eating like a little piggy lately, so I was afraid of–what are you staring at?” She stopped talking when she noticed that Applejack had a worried look on her face. She turned her head and her face fell when she saw Sweetie Belle standing there. Before anypony could say or do anything, the little filly burst into tears and ran down the hall, bawling. Rarity winced when she heard the door to Apple Bloom's bedroom slam shut. She sighed and turned back to Applejack. “I'll, uh, I'll just go. Tell Sweetie Belle I'm sorry.” Applejack nodded. “Of course. Ah'll talk to ya soon.” Without another word, Rarity headed towards the front door. She stopped and walked down the hallway. She stopped at Apple Bloom's room and pressed an ear to the door. Her heart sank when she heard Sweetie Belle bawling her eyes out. Her ears drooped and silenlty whispered, “I'm sorry, Sweetie Belle.” Feeling as horrible as she thought she could, she turned and walked back down the hall and out the front door. *** Later in her bedroom, Rarity mentally scolded herself. Damn it, Rarity! What in Celestia's name is wrong with you? Why can't you stop hurting the ones you love? She stopped in the middle of her pacing as the question caught her off guard. Ironically enough, the same question had been plaguing her mind ever since Spike's passing. Now she'd hurt her one and only sister. Quite possibly, she felt even worse about hurting Sweetie Belle than Spike because, after all, they were family. Emotionally, she and Spike were family also, but she and Sweetie Belle were closer than either one of them had been to Spike since they were siblings. She fell forward onto her bed and buried her face in her pillow. She inhaled deeply, exhaling slowly while she thought about what to do now. As if she didn't have enough problems plaguing her mind, now she had to figure out how to fix her broken relationship with Sweetie Belle. She cared deeply for her little sister, hence why she'd been trying to figure out a way to keep her little sister from eating herself to death. Ironically enough, she'd been more concerned about Sweetie Belle's problems than her own. It was no wonder why Rarity saw herself as a second mother to her little sister. She just hoped that Sweetie Belle would find it in her heart to forgive her and wave away the incident as if it'd never happened. She turned on her side, lifting up her covers to bury herself within their warmth and comfort. It was only a little past seven o' clock, but she was so drained mentally, physically, and emotionally that she didn't care. She hoped that she would be able to get a good night's sleep, but she highly doubted that with how bad she felt for hurting Sweetie Belle's feelings. It hadn't even been intentional; she had just been being honest with Applejack. She had vowed never to hurt her little sister ever again, and she'd broken that vow. How in Equestria was she supposed to get to sleep now? She yawned, lifted a hoof to shut off the lamp on her bedside table. She was so tired that she didn't even feel like doing a little reading before going off to bed. Closing her eyes, she silenlty prayed to the gods that they would supervise over her night and fill it with pleasant dreams instead of bad ones that only served to remind her of how horrible she felt right now. *** It was around three in the morning when Rarity awoke with a start. She sat bolt upright in bed, looking to and fro, having an idea suddenly sparked within the inner depths of her brain. Yes! Of course! She knew what she had to do now, to make things all right again! Leaping out of bed, she charged out of the Boutique, grabbing a shovel and a sack along the way and levitating them both above her while she ran throughout the town of Ponyville. There wasn't a soul on the streets of Ponyville as she ran. She was shrouded in darkness, all of the stores having closed up shop hours ago. She was completely alone, with only the light from the moon as her guide. Looking back now, she'd wished that she'd brought a lantern with her, just in case it became too dark to see. But there was no time to go back and get one. She'd already started on her journey and she was going to see it through to the end, even if it killed her. If it did indeed kill her, then at least she would finally be with her beloved yet again. It took her over an hour to get to her destination. It was nearly five in the morning, and the moon was beginning to lower while the sun was beginning to rise, casting the sky in a beautiful shade of purples, oranges, yellows, and reds. The sight was absolutely breathtaking. Sadly, there was no time to marvel at Celestia's handiwork as she had a job to get done. She stopped at the top of the hill, bathing herself in the shade of the tree that overlooked Ponyville. The shovel and sack were dropped on the ground. Her gaze fell to the tombstone that lied before her. Carved into were the words: “Spike the dragon. Beloved friend to the end.” A few tears ran down her cheeks as she read these words. Getting herself all worked up right now was uncalled for. There was a mission to be completed. And thus, the first shovelful of dirt was unearthed and cast to the side. She was just glad that she could easily use her magic to get the job done instead of having to do the job manually. There wa sno need to get all sweaty and dirty. Still, she would need a shower anyway when she got back home. A shower sounded so nice right about now. Another hour or so passed as she dug, slowly but surely delving deeper and deeper into the earth. Eventually, she reached Spike's coffin and slowly pried it open, as if afraid that Spike's corpse would jump out at any time in an effort to scare the piss out of her. The door to the coffin fell against the wall of dirt beside the coffin, giving her a full view of Spike's corpse that lied within. Amazingly, Spike's body hadn't started to decay yet. Then again, it had only been a few months since his passing. The decaying process would take years before he was literally nothing but bones. She lifted her head to glance to the left and right, just to make sure that nopony was watching before levitating Spike's body and carefully placing it in the sack. The coffin was closed and the mounds of dirt that surrounded the gravesite were once again deposited into the grave, being careful to make it seem as if the grave hadn't been disturbed at all. Levitating her objects, she darted down the hill and back home. *** After this, nopony saw Rarity very much anymore. Sweetie Belle continued to stay with Applejack and her family until Rarity gave Applejack the word that it was okay for her to return home. Months and months went by without anypony seeing or hearing a word from Rarity. Every now and again, ponies would see her up and about in Ponyville, getting groceries or running errands. But these sightings became less and less frequent to the point where she wasn't seen at all. The “closed' sign for her shop was constantly shown in the window, prohibiting potential clients and customers from entering. Even if the shop had been open, customers and clients wouldn't have been able to get in due to the front door being locked. Needless to say, rumors were spread regarding what was wrong with Rarity. Some ponies said, “Maybe she committed suicide.” Other ponies said, “Maybe she just wants to be alone. We shouldn't bother her.” These rumors were kept out of the ears of Sweetie Belle. The poor dear was worried enough already about her older sister. She didn't need to hear unsupported rumors about her sister that may or may not be true. So, the little filly was kept at home with the others while Applejack went into town for supplies or groceries. If anypony was talking about her more than anypony else, it was definitely her friends and her therapist, Twilight. They were constantly talking, creating theories about where she was and what she was up to. They didn't dare attempt to approach her shop and look into her windows to see what she was doing. They wouldn't have been able to, seeing as how the windows had either been boarded up or covered with curtains. Naturally, Sweetie Belle became increasingly worried about the whereabouts of her older sister. Sure, Applejack's had all the food that she could eat, but it didn't compare to living with her older sister. Of course they bickered and argued from time to time, but what pair of sisters didn't? Even though they did spend a great deal of their time arguing with each other, she knew that deep down Rarity truly did love and care for her. So why in blazes hadn't she come to pick her up yet? Was she really that depressed that she hadn't been able to yet get over Spike's death, even though it had been nearly a year and a half since it had occurred? What was going on? The only good thing about living with Applejack was that she'd been able to shed the weight she'd put on from her binge eating helping Applejack with the harvest and various other chores that needed tending to throughout the farm. Some ponies brave enough to go near the Carousel Boutique were only met with silence when they tried to get Rarity's attention and ask her if anything was wrong. The Boutique remained shrouded in mystery, covered in darkness as its inhabitant stubbornly refused to come out. Fearful that she was starving to death, some ponies and her friends made the generous, kind gesture of leaving food out at her front door. When they would come back a couple of hours later to see whether or not the food had been consumed, they would notice that the food had disappeared. Months turned to years and years turned into continuous worry and fear for Rarity's health and mental state. Sadly, nopony could get inside to interview her and ask her how she was. She remained a pony of mystery, her mental state and health never to be revealed. It finally became too much for Twilight and the other four. By order of Princess Celestia, they orchestrated a search and seizure of Carousel Boutique. Repeatedly, Princess Celestia ordered Rarity to come out of the Boutique, but received no response. The event caused quite a crowd, as everypony in Ponyville was curious as to why their oders hadn't been fulfilled by the famous Rarity. A team of guards was standing by the front doors, waiting for Princess Celestia to give the order, if need be. Fed up with Rarity refusing to acknowledge her presence, she gave them a nod and the front door was kicked in by the guards, providing a way in. Princess Celestia nodded towards Twilight and her friends, giving them permission to enter the Boutique. Twilight and her friends did so quietly and cautiously, not sure what exactly would happen when they entered the building. The sunlight pouring in through the hole where the front door used to be was their only means of light. They had to squint in order to make out everything and even then, they had a hard time making their way to the stairs. Luckily for them, they had been to Rarity's so many times that they could practically navigate throughout her home with their eyes closed. “Is it safe?” Sweetie Belle asked, poking her head inside the building. Twilight shook her head. “Just stay out there, Sweetie Belle! We'll let you know when it's safe.” With that, she led the group upstairs to the hallway that led to Rarity's room. “Can you hear anything?” Applejack asked Twilight, who had her ear pressed up against the door. Sighing dejectedly, Twilight pulled away from the door and shook her head. “I hear nothing.” Rainbow Dash growled in frustration. “Enough talk! I say we bust the door down and drag her butt outside!” She charged at the door, only to be stopped halfway across the hallway by Applejack biting down on her tail and pulling her back. “Hold on there, missy,” Applejack said. “We can't just go chargin' in there like a bunch o' buffalo. That'd be rude.” “Who cares about being rude?!” Rainbow Dash exploded, getting to her hooves. “She's been ignoring us and everypony for years! She's the one being rude!” “Rainbow Dash, I understand you're frustrated,” Twilight said, “but barging in her room is no way to handle this.” She cleared her throat and turned back to the door. “Rarity? Are you in there? It's us!” “Your friends,” Fluttershy added quietly, smiling. A short silence followed. “Hello,” Pinkie Pie bellowed. “Come out, come out, wherever you are!” Twilight glared. “Pinkie Pie, please.” Once Pinkie Pie backed off, she faced the door. “Rarity, if you won't come out, we'll have to come in.” Behind her, she heard Rainbow Dash flap her wings in agitation. “Oh, for the love of–” Rainbow Dash yelled. “Rainbow, no,” Twilight ordered. Before anypony could do anything, Rainbow Dash bolted across the hallway, smashing her way in the bedroom. Unfortunately, she was going so fast that she couldn't stop in time and ended up slamming against the wall across the bedroom. She didn't have time to get out of the way and ended up with the busted door pinning her against the wall. A groan and a muffled, “Help . . . me . . .” was heard as the others entered the room. Fluttershy flew up and tended to Rainbow Dash while the others looked around the room in search of Rarity, but the unicorn didn't seem to be present in the room. “Maybe she's in another room,” Pinkie Pie said. Applejack gasped and pointed with a hoof. “There!” She was pointing across the room at Rarity's bed, which had curtains closed around it. “C'mon, y'all.” She led the way to the bed. Rainbow Dash shook off the dazed feeling and flew over along with the others, although now she had a headache. “Do you think she could be here?” Twilight asked Applejack. “Don't know,” Applejack replied. “Won't know 'til we pull back the curtain, I suppose.” She took the curtain in her mouth and pulled it back. Her eyes grew wide and her mouth fell open when she beheld what lie on the bed. “Oh, my . . .” she mumbled, taking a few steps back to get a full view of the display. Nopony said anything. Nopony did anything. Which was just as well, as none of them could think of anything to do or say. They simply stared, wide-eyed, mouths agape, at what was before them, their brains unable to fully process exactly what they were seeing. The only sound heard was the sound of Fluttershy silently weeping. The others, on the other hoof, didn't move or bat an eyelash. Their eyes never left the bed, for on it was Rarity's body, not moving, not breathing. Just lying there. Her eyes didn't move, nor did they flutter open. Her corpse lied in the bed, rotting. And around her hoof was the lifeless body of Spike the dragon.
