My Name is Death
The slab of wild boar sizzled over the fire. Alone in his forest cave, the man known as Rorschach sat by the cookfire in silent contemplation. His clothes were filthy, his shirt torn, the mask he wore stained with dust, sweat, and a fair amount of blood spatter.
Outside, the night was filled with the sounds of crickets and cicadas. Moonlight filtered through the branches of the trees to illuminate the forest floor, and above the small clearing in front of the cave the night sky lit up with stars. The night was beautiful.
Suddenly, Rorschach felt a chill in the air, though there was no wind. The crickets stopped chirping. Alert, the human stood up and grabbed one of his spears.
The sound of hooves striking ground reached his ears.
A pony coming here at this time of night? Something's wrong.
Moving to the front of the cave, Rorschach looked out into the forest. Quietly, he stepped out of the cave and moved to the right, making sure the light from the fire wasn't spotlighting him from behind. As he watched, a tall, pale figure stepped out of the shadows of the forest.
His first impression was that Celestia had come for a midnight visit. That thought alone made him freeze in consternation. Immediately he realized that was wrong. This pony was a pale-colored alicorn, but the details were wrong. Rather than bright, pure white, this pony was the yellowed patina of old bone. On closer inspection, he noticed that the visitor was also incredibly thin and gaunt, ribs and spine showing. When he looked at its face, pale red eyes locked onto his. It spoke in a deep, resonant voice - and with a Scottish accent.
"Hello, Rorschach. You may call me Mortis."
There was an awkward silence. Rorschach readjusted his grip on the spear.
"... Why are you here?"
The mysterious alicorn chuckled and shook his head. "You like to get right to the point, don't you? Silly mortal. You'd enjoy life more if you simply slowed it down a little."
Without further ado, the visitor stepped right into to the cave, lay down by the fire, and seemed to make himself at home. Taken aback by the equine's familiar behavior, Rorschach stayed by the cave entrance. Staring down the intruder incredulously, it was a few seconds before he could find his words.
"Thought there were only two alicorns in existence."
"I can see how you'd get that impression. But no, I've been around just as long as Celestia and Luna."
"The ponies never mentioned you."
"They don't like to talk about me much. I'm the incarnation of Death, you see."
That revelation set the human's thoughts buzzing, taking in several facts at once. For one, this pony had introduced himself as Mortis, which meant death in Latin. For another, the pony's gait had been smooth and graceful; if it was starving and dehydrated, like it looked, it would have been clumsy and uncoordinated. That meant it was somehow hale and hearty despite its appearance. And third...
"I'd always heard that Death rode a pale horse."
Mortis smiled, as if at a private joke. "Yes, well, in a world full of ponies, Death is a pale horse."
Rorschach stayed tense. If he was being visited by this world's incarnation of Death, that could only mean one thing. Growling, he took a step forward. "You never answered my question. Why are you here?!"
Suddenly, it was as if the world warped around him. His surroundings seemed to blur for the briefest of moments, and when everything came back into focus he was sitting across the fire from the pony of Death, the spear in his hands replaced with a cup of tea. The pale horse snorted at him.
"Really, Rorschach, I thought you might have learned to use your manners around immortals by now. First you were completely obliterated by that Manhattan fellow, then given a beat-down by Celestia of all ponies. The lesson really ought to have sunk in at this point."
His pride riled at the scathing. For a moment, he imagined his hands wrapping around that skinny throat and throttling the smart-ass. He almost moved to get up, but then it clicked - the alicorn was warning him. If he tried to strike, there would be consequences. And if he was truly, literally staring Death in the face here, it probably would be a bad idea to get on Mortis' bad side. He wasn't dead yet, at least.
Mortis levitated a cup of tea to his lips and sipped. "Ahh, perfectly brewed as always." He turned to face the murderous human and cleared his throat.
"Well then, on to business, shall we?" He took a deep breath. "To answer the question of why I'm here - well, that's obvious, isn't it? I'm here to talk to you, duh! You think I visit living things just for the Hell of it? Of course not! Death doesn't get to take pleasure visits, and for Luna's sake, did you think I'd come here to kill you? Ridiculous! I don't kill things, my job is to deal with the aftermath of the killing! Really, being so hostile over such a silly notion!"
And I thought Veidt was long-winded, thought Rorschach. "Get to the point."
"To be frank, then, I've come to give you a little insight on the workings of this world, and how your presence here could, to use your own vernacular, really fuck things up."
"How so?"
The alicorn sighed. "Well obviously, it has to do with the whole 'switching universes' thing, doesn't it? There are very few ways to pass the barriers between worlds. I myself have a sort of 'hall pass' to be able to traverse between Equestria and the Equestrian Underworld, and it's my job to make sure that every eligible soul makes it there after the body has expired. Otherwise the whole place would get crowded up with ghosts and everything would get covered in ectoplasm. Believe me, it's not a pretty situation.
Well, the complication that you present is that you somehow found your way here instead of to your own universe's Underworld! In my personal opinion that's probably due to the interference of that upstart Manhattan, as I've never known Thanatos to be so careless as to let souls pass into completely different multiverses before. Anywho, basically that means that upon your inevitable death in this world I must now take the extra trouble to personally escort you back to your own Underworld, which means a temporary leave of absence from this world so I can get you back where you belong, which in turn means that when I get back to Equestria I'm going to have a backlog to work through!"
By the end of that monologue the bone-yellow alicorn was practically growling and moaning. Rorschach let another awkward silence stretch out between them.
"So?" he growled at the pony.
The alicorn's face twisted into a grimace. "Well, even a god's allowed to complain about their job every now an' then, aren't they? I'm just saying, it's gonna be a Hell of a lot of hard work when you clock out, you cheeky bugger!"
"..."
"..."
"...You have my condolences. Not my problem."
Mortis stood up quickly, snorting with derision. "Ach, fine, you heartless git! Wouldn't have even bothered to visit but that I wanted to see what you looked like anyway!" He moved towards to cave exit, a look of discontent stamped on his features. Just before leaving, he whirled around and faced the human, who was still sitting crosslegged by the fire with a cup of tea cooling in his hands. "And by the way, I know of every life you've taken since you showed up on my turf, and I'm warning you right now that any more mindless slaughter will be weighed heavily on you when your time comes! Got me?!"
Kicking up dust as he turned away into the moonlight, the pony of Death vanished in a cloud of inky darkness.
Rorschach sat staring into the fire for a few moments, watching the piece of boar meat beginning to sear and burn. Still dumbfounded, he looked down numbly at the drink in his hands.
Where the Hell did this tea come from anyways?
