Broken Loose

by A T Sparkle

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Alternate Universe, Sad, Original Character
Length: 3500

What's it like to not exist? To be trapped in a life you weren't meant to have and an endless war that never should've happened? A pointless existence that no one deserves, and that's all Starlight has.

Harmony, a word that used to be synonymous with Equestria, is something that has been nowhere to be found for almost fifteen years. For half that time there has been only war, pain, and death. Now, dropped out in the middle of this scarred fallen paradise is a nightshade unicorn, a twisted shadow of a pony created only for war. A pony who knows nothing of what this land used to be, or what anypony's fighting for, including herself. A ghost of war, pursued by all others within it, she has nowhere to hide, but everywhere to run.

- Author's statementy stuff below-

I really did not want this to be my first release, but I swore to myself and my friends that I would have this done before season 4, so here it is. In case it isn't obvious, this is my take on the whole "Solar Empire versus NLR" concept, which is actually not an idea I was all too familiar with, in fact I've been so wrapped in trying to keep my own ideas untainted I still don't have much of any idea what other people have done with this theme. All in all I've been working on this story as a whole for the better part of a year. As of writing this (November 19th 2013) the only part that I'm willing to call finished is the first introductory chapter, but I can promise that this was not the only thing I spent that year writing, and that subsequent chapters will come at a greater rate.
And yes, I am aware this was probably way too much for me to do as my first project.
Please note that parts of this story were written as far back as during the season gap between seasons two and three, and the first chapter was published prior to the start of season four. As a result of this, for the sake of both my sanity and the story as a whole I will not be making an attempt to retcon or shoehorn in EVERYTHING from season four or five. If I encounter any story elements in the current and upcoming seasons that I feel would benefit the story or the world thereof, then I may work them in.

Published 2013-11-23 05:40:04 UTC
Last updated 2013-11-23 05:40:04 UTC

Dawn at Dusk

I wasn't born, I was created. Although I have memories, of foalhood, of family, and friends, none of those are mine. I’m called Starlight, something I have never seen, and something I’m told I will not experience in my short lifetime. As far as I know I exist only for this war, if it ends I will likely end with it, and as long as it goes on no one will know either day or night, I will never feel pure sunlight, moonlight, or starlight, only this unnatural twilight, supplemented by even more unnatural candle and magic light. I suppose that's ironic, a creature like me, a nightshade unicorn, calling the twilight unnatural when it has been all I've known, and at least it exists in nature, if only briefly.

I suppose I should explain just what a nightshade is in case whoever finds this doesn't know. Essentially a nightshade is a sentient physical manifestation of concentrated dark magic. The name comes from Nightmare Moon, AKA President Luna, the first and so far only pony capable of conjuring them. They were first created over a thousand years ago during her first rebellion against Celestia, more recently the NLR has been attempting to use them as a steady supply of troops. As far as I know I'm an experiment. Every nightshade has a base or "original", a pony the nightshade was based off. I'm not entirely sure who mine is, but I know she's an important figure in the Empire. Nightshades often bear some resemblance to their original, and the two have a weak magical connection.

All I know is what they've told me, what I've been able to gather for myself, and the little things that was copied over from my original with the rest of me. This land used to be called Equestria, but around 7 years ago it was split into the New Lunar Republic in the southwest, and the Celestial Empire in the northeast. I was conjured by president Luna some time ago to be some type of new soldier for the AoN, Army of the Night, the NLR’s military. So now I’m here at a base in Baltimare alternating between raid missions, training, and just sitting here being depressed. I don’t really mean to be depressed or anything, but it’s hard to enjoy your life when what little of it actually exists is stolen from somepony else. I think that's part of why the NLR hasn't rolled out any more of us, an army of me would have terrible morale, not to mention the potential for enemy propaganda. Although I'm sure with enough time Luna could spin it in her favor. I don't have anything personal against her, but the fact that both sides are living in completely different realities means somepony's lying through their teeth and damn good at it.

The one thing I actually like to do is, when I have some time off, to just go back to my quarters, close the doors, turn off the lights, and just feel the darkness. I think that’s something like what night feels like, it feels nice, like I’m becoming a part of the shadows. Then shifts change and it’s time to train, patrol, eat, or kill again.

Tonight may have been the strangest “day” of my life. It started out normal enough, roll call, gear check, meal, then we get called in for a mission. Raid on a suspected arsenal in the city of Fillydelphia, just across the border into Imperial territory. They use me mostly for raids, one of the most effective combat positions and yet still out of public eye, the idea that the NLR is using a monster like me is not exactly good for civilian loyalty or morale. The AoN's raid strategy goes something like this: first, troops assemble at HQ, after a briefing, we move out to the deployment chamber, there a team of magi-techs teleport us into the target AO, once there we accomplish the objective, then our comms-specialist signals back to base with where we are, who's alive, who's injured, and we're teleported back to base. A mission like this takes six ponies, four soldiers, a tech, and a support markspony, I didn’t know the soldiers, for all I knew they could’ve been absolutely anypony. I did know a thing or two about the other ponies though. The markspony was Sureshot, all I knew about her was that she was the most accurate shot on base, and that her coat was normally a bright shade of pink that she oiled down to a muddy color for missions.

The other pony I "knew" was the tech. Theory, he was always the tech for missions I was on, apparently he was some observer from high command, here to "assess the viability of nightshade operatives", among other things, from what I gathered this base seemed to be a hub for all sorts of experiments. I'd heard one soldier got his horn cracked when a prototype for a new rifle exploded in the middle of an op. Having Theory following me wasn't exactly something I liked, but I guess it was better than having a princess watching you sleep. I got the feeling he was a big part of why I was created, but I wasn't exactly grateful to him for that and he didn't seem to think I should've been anyway. Still, I wasn't by any means close to either of them, or anypony else for that matter. You’d think that the followers of the moon goddess would revere her conjurings (they certainly have no problem with lunite pegasi) but I was always seen as more of a curse than a blessing, I never really disagreed with them either. So as everypony rushed around getting themselves in order and gearing up, I stood off to the side and went over my gear for the fourth time.

Left saddlebag: four magazines, each holding 30 rounds of 5.56mm DF (Doubled Fun, the ponies who named these weapons had the minds of either 6-year-olds, or sadistic psychopaths, maybe both) I took the time to work a spell into them to overcharge them, kicks a bit more and wears harder on your gun but brings a target down faster. Right saddlebag: Sparkling Cupcakes Assault Rifle, or SCAR for short, I’d overheard the others calling it a “nightshade rifle”, apparently the design was taken from the rifles the Solar Empire was using, and each of ours had a counterpart in their hooves, just like me. Left foreleg pouch: Combat knife, combination straight and serrated edge, meant to be quick to draw and rend flesh in the event my magic ran dry and I couldn’t hold a gun (very unlikely situation for a nightshade, but protocol nonetheless). Right foreleg pouch: Emergency magazine, same as the ones in the saddlebag, only right up front incase I needed one in a split second, if I had to I also knew a spell that could set off all the rounds in it, a dangerous move, but it was a desperate measure for desperate times.

For armor I had a standard AoN combat uniform. Kevlar plates on the torso, upper and lower legs, and a composite helmet. The upper foreleg plates had two patches, on the right was a crescent moon, the symbol of the AoN, and on the right was a set of bars signifying my rank. The whole uniform was a blue and grey urban camo loosely covering my dark purple coat. The helmet had a visor, but it was only for explosives protection. Earthponies and pegasi had special visors that displayed information on their health, weapon and team status, these helmets also required magical energy backpacks. Since I was a unicorn I was just trained to use a spell to keep that information on the corners of my eyes at all times.
Finally the others got their act together and we get the green light to go in. I don’t know if the buck teleporting me in was nervous because of me, or just from the spell he was using. Teleporting somepony based on coordinates rather than memory or line of sight was tricky, especially at long distance, so teleporters tended to be nervous, but at the same time I was a ghost of what I understand to be a pretty high-ranking enemy so ponies tend to be nervous around me. Either way his nerves proved unnecessary, we all made it in.

Once we arrived the first thing to do was secure the perimeter, make sure we hadn’t been spotted, after that the actual raid began. First Theory cast a spell to block communications in the target area, so the enemy can't call for backup and we won't be interrupted. Once that was done he and SureShot stayed at the LZ while the rest of us went in, he stays back to keep up communications with HQ and us, she stays back to keep him alive. I was on point. The first part of any mission like this is to secure the roof, prevent the enemy from flying out or popping flares. We split up into two groups and climbed to the roofs of buildings across the street. This area was mostly abandoned office buildings, the major military bases were further inside the city, civilians past that, so we didn’t have too much to worry about getting spotted, as long as we cleared the roof. There were eight guards, four in gun turrets on corners, four walking an X pattern between them. All pegasi with flareguns. We waited until the patrol guards had their backs turned, then shot out two of the guards in turrets while the team across the street put up illusions of them, then roles reversed and we conjured illusions as the remaining gunners fell. Finally we took the last set of guards at once and jumped onto the roof of the building.

Inside the building we stayed in teams of two, each floor we came down opposite staircases and swept towards each other, crossing and heading down opposite stairs again. The building had four floors, fourth was empty, third had a makeshift command center set up in the offices, Imperial officer and a team of techies hunched over whited out comms equipment. I shot first, killed a tech, then the officer shot me in the leg while the rest of the team took them down. My leg stung where I got hit, right between the armor plates, smoke floated out of the hole over my face. When the shooting stopped I took a second to close my eyes and concentrate. That’s one benefit to being a nightshade, since you’re just concentrated energy to begin with, all it takes for basic healing is focus. Once the smoke cleared and my leg was fine we continued down. Second floor we skipped completely, by that point Imperial soldiers were running up the stairways after us so we headed straight down to the first floor and the target.

The first floor was a mess, it used to be a mixture of offices, cubicles, and lobbies, but the whole thing had been converted into an ammo stash, there were crates of bullets and explosives, rifles, even a couple heavy machine guns, lying all over. Not a fun place to be storming into, when we got near the center I actually got pinned down by one of those heavy guns, thankfully by that point the other half of the team had already cleared the middle and was able to take the gunner out.
So far things were actually pretty normal, but then it all fell apart when it came time to check and rig up the haul. As part of our mission we were supposed to get an idea for what there was to be found here, and then destroy all of it. Word was Luna was gearing up to “liberate” this city and to do that she needed to know just what the defenses were like. The problem with having all this loose ammo in one place was that it was hard to notice if somepony had rigged up a bomb, or pulled the pins on a box of grenades, until after the whole place was blowing its top. In case it isn’t obvious: that’s what happened next. Bangs, roars, static and dust everywhere. We split up, ran for the edges of the building. As I was running a box in front of me exploded, I jumped back and got caught in the shockwave.For a second it felt like I was flying, then I hit something hard, I guess a wall, it all went numb and faded to black after that.

When I came to there was a unicorn buck standing in front of me, he was saying something, but I couldn’t hear anything. My whole body felt battered, but it felt like it was all still there. I was almost completely buried in debris and couldn’t move, I had no choice but to explain my situation and ask his help. He nodded and started moving junk out of the way to get me free, while he did I focused my ears back into working order and took stock of my situation. I could see the sky so that meant the whole building had come down, by the looks of the area I was in my guess would be I got tossed into an elevator. I could feel wind in my mane so that meant my helmet was gone, and after all the blast and rubble I doubted the rest of my armor was much better off.

The buck digging me out had a white coat, blue eyes, and a short brown mane. The armor he was wearing was tattered and blackened, there were no symbols on it of rank or allegiance, it looked like it had been cobbled together from different suits, different plates had different patterns on them. His saddlebags were loaded with various different pieces of weaponry, and slung around his neck was an old looking rifle. Whoever he was it was unlikely he was AoN, so that meant that the rest of my team either died in the blast or assumed I had and abandoned me here.

Once the buck got me out he asked me my name. “Starlight” I answered bluntly as I made sure everything was still working correctly. “The pure, soft glow of a world touched neither by sun nor moon” he whispered out absentmindedly before shaking his head vigorously, “Sorry, where are my manners? My name’s Strife” he quickly added.
Before he could say anything else we were cut off by a blaring siren. He shouted out “And that would be the enforcers coming to clean us out,” Solar Imperial Enforcers, military police, coming to clear out any witnesses. We were told that these ponies killed any and every pony who saw more than they were supposed to, regardless of loyalty or rank. I didn’t know how much of that was propaganda, but I still didn’t want to take my chances.

"Well, judging by that armor, my guess is you’re a soldier, and judging by those sirens, my guess is you’re about to be a dead pony unless you get out of here, follow me and stay close!” He shouted at me before taking off at a gallop. Having no better option I chased after him. He wound around sidewalks, through alleyways, across streets, straight through at least one building before coming to a stop dead in the middle of a street. His horn glowed a bluish grey as he magically lifted a large metal disk out of the street, revealing a way down. “Mares first” he said with a grin and what may have been a hint of a blush.

What lay at the bottom was a half-circular tunnel, dominated by a canal full of brown sludge in the center, with stone walkways wide enough for two ponies side-by-side on each side. Every few dozen hooves there was a junction where the tunnel crossed perpendicular with another, there the pathways were metal and suspended over both canals to let ponies cross. Along the sides of the tunnels there were lights at each crossing. He came down behind me “Alright, now here’s the tricky part,” he said as the glow of his horn shifted to a sinister looking shade of dark red “this place is a maze already and I’m about to make it much worse” he stepped in front of me “bite my tail so we don’t get separated and follow me.” As soon as I did he started heading down the tunnel. Not long after we started I heard the enforcers galloping through the tunnels after us, then I didn’t, the noise of them just stopped abruptly, didn’t fade out, just stopped. A few seconds later it jumped back in in the same way, this happened a few more times until eventually the sound of them stopped completely.
When that happened Strife started to slow down, panting heavily as the glow from his horn faded. “Alright, you can let go now, we’re here” he said as he motioned towards a mark on the wall that looked like a crudely drawn door. “Now I know you must think I’m crazy, but I just need you to try and open this like any other door, I’d do it myself, but I used all my energy mixing the tunnels.” At this point my only other option was to run off and get lost in the tunnels so I focused my magic on the drawing and opened the door inward.

Light spilled in from the doorway as it opened, when I adjusted to the light and looked inside the sight that greeted me was one of the strangest things I had ever seen. There was a large, open plain, it sort of looked like pictures I’d seen of the pre-war Canterlot Gardens, only the sky was pale pink, and the ground a strange checkerboard pattern, more like giant tiles than grass. There were still statues, but none of ponies, all of these bizarre creatures that looked to be made out of parts of different creatures. I probably should’ve questioned what I was seeing, but after what a long day it had been I was too worn out.

“Home sweet home, welcome to Chaos” Strife said with a grin before looking over at me, he saw the tired and confused look on my face, “Easy now, you’ve had a long day, I’ll let you rest at my place before you go and meet with the commander, follow me” He started walking slowly inside. Once again I followed him. I hadn’t even noticed the structures inside this place, they too were extremely bizarre looking, some were lopsided, some sideways, some upside down. All of them were made strangely, from a variety of different materials and colors. He trotted over to a relatively normal looking two-floor building. He pulled the door open for me, inside it was mostly a single room with a stairway leading upwards, he motioned me over to a couch where I layed down and quickly passed to sleep.

After I passed out I found myself in what passes for dreaming to nightshades. Thanks to our nature, we have a weak psychic connection with our base pony, or “original”, so when we’re dreaming, we step into their lives, see, hear, smell, touch, everything as they are. Ponies talk about how president Luna can see whatever’s in their dreams, well she can’t see what’s in mine, because my dreams are the only part of me that actually exists, they can’t be intruded on or changed. Of course, like with normal dreams, they’re supposed to happen whenever you’re asleep, but in practice you don’t usually notice them.

My original was paranoid, she shivered, glanced around, cast a detection spell, and was unsatisfied when she didn’t find anything. She could feel somepony watching her, but I was inside her mind, undetectable, unremovable, at least until I woke up. She/I/we gave up on looking for ghosts and went back to what we were supposed to be doing: studying, always studying. She normally liked studying, but this time as she floated over another stack of thick books from the library shelf onto her desk she seemed sick of it. Reading the same books and seeing the same information. This is pointless, even if the elements do still work: you need all six, and ponies capable of wielding them, for them to be of any use! She had neither of these things, but she kept studying, whoever was in charge of her placed great importance on these “Elements of Harmony”
At that I woke up to find Strife standing over me, but this time he had both his eyes and rifle trained on me “What did you just say about the Elements of Harmony?!” Buck.