Do You Believe In Magic (And Ponies?)

In 2fort, it was a wonderful morning. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and all of BLU except the Medic was watching My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

“I still do not see vhy you schveinhunds like to vatch zis drivel!” the Medic snorted at the 8 mercenaries gathered around the television.

“Because it’s frickin’ awesome, poigndextah! ‘Specially dat Pegasus called Rainbow Dash, who is one ‘a da most awesome things evah! She’s still not as awesome as I am, but she comes pretty frickin’ close. Oh, and ‘cause friendship is magic,” Scout said, grinning. The Medic just shook his head, and facepalmed.

“Mein gott, is it really too much to ask zat you shall not watch somezing about, ugh, friendship, which is most certainly not magic?” the Medic said, shuddering.

“Well, you’re our friend, roight, doc?” asked the Sniper, his eyes glued to the screen as Pinkie Pie sang her ‘Giggle at the Ghosties’ song.

“Ve are acquaintances. Zere is a difference,” snorted the Medic.

The Engineer, from his leisurely spot on a rocking chair, looked over his shoulder. “Nah, doc; we’re all your friends; ‘specially Heavy.”

“Friendship iz stupid!” the Medic growled. “It iz also overrated!”

As the Medic continued arguing, he and the rest of the group didn’t notice that they were being watched…

In the shadows of the room, the ghostly figure floated away, landing within its body once more. The body that was on the floor, which seemed like that of a magician’s, opened its eyes and sat up. “Hmm… The Medic doesn’t want to admit that they are friends… It looks like this is a job for,” the mediocre wizard paused for effect, “MERASMUS!”

He raised his staff, and spoke the words: “Equestrias Sendus!” Then, he waited for a few seconds.

Then, a green aura floated out of the top of his staff. “Sorry… that… is… Oh, for crying out loud!” Merasmus roared.* “It’s got to be something with the pronunciation…” he muttered. Bringing out his fancy spellbook (not the Bombononicon, though; that mischievous book had caused him enough trouble already), he flipped through it. “Equalus… Equationus… Ah, Equestrius!”

Reading down the page, Merasmus finally found the page he wanted. “Equestrius Sendus? Oh, that’s why it didn’t work; I didn’t say it properly.” Merasmus sighed. “So, it reads ‘Place a person in the body of their Equestrian counterpart and send them to Equestria.’ Ah, yes, as I expected.”

Then, finally, the wizard once more raised his staff, this time saying “Equestrius… Sendus!”

Back in the BLU Base’s Television room, the Medic had finally given up. “Fine, schveinhunds; I shall watch just ze first episode! No more, no less! Is zat understood?”

“Heh, you betcha, poigndextah,” the Scout grinned. “But don’t blame us if ya wanna watch every episode aftah that; that’s how me and da other guys got into it. Aftah Pyro showed us it, of course.”

“Hudda huh!” Pyro said, nodding its head enthusiastically. “Hudda hudda huh hudda hudda!” It reached for the remote, and pressed the Menu button, exiting to the main menu.

“He says ‘That’s right! Ah think you’ll like it!’,” the Engineer patiently translated as the Pyro navigated the cursor to the first episode, and pressed play.

The Medic scowled. “Like I vould like somezing like zis,” he muttered, but was shooshed by the Heavy.

“Shoosh. Show is starting,” the Heavy said gutturally to the Medic.

“Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria, there were two regal sisters who ruled over the land. The older sister used her magic to raise the sun, and the younger used hers to bring out the moon.”

“…Vhat.”

“Whaddaya mean, Doc?” asked the Engineer. The Pyro paused the tape, waiting for the Medic’s response.

“Danke, firebug.” Turning to the Engineer, he began his explanation: “To move ze sun and moon would require magic beyond zat of any wizard that has existed to zis day. And two beings vould casually just raise ze sun and moon like no big deal? I see zat ze writers of zis show did not do ze research on magical system.”**

“And where’d ya learn that?” the Scout asked.

The Medic sighed, facepalming. “If all of you had read the magic textbooks zat I leant to you, zen you vould know zat, just like how you should know zat ze last few times a magician attempted to raise and lower ze sun-”

The Scout, tired of the Medic’s constant tirades about how they should learn more about magic, snorted. “Shut up, egghead, and just watch da thing. Nobody wants ta hear about da history of magic,” he groaned.

The Medic removed his hand from his face and rolled his eyes. “Fine. But I still believe zat, as apprentice wizards, ve should learn ze history of our kind, and their possibilities and impossibilities. Dumkopffs.”

The Pyro looked around. Satisfied that the argument was now complete, the mysterious firebug reached forwards for the remote again.

Its hand almost reached it, but then, before the hand could reach it, the remote floated down for some reason. The Pyro grunted, but then, its eyes widened under its mask. It looked down.

The couch was still below the Pyro. Except the couch was a few metres below the firebug, rather than a few centimetres below it.

“HUDDA HUH!” the Pyro cursed. Around him, all the other mercenaries were floating and cursing the current situation as well.

Except the Soldier, who was shouting “I’m flying like a little bird!”

In horror, the Sniper looked up. “What in the bloody ‘ell is that?!” he said.

Quickly, the rest of BLU team, the Medic included, looked up. Floating above them was a large green portal… a portal that was a familiar green. But it didn’t look like any portal they had seen before. But before the team could begin to examine the portal any more, the portal sucked them in, and all they could see was darkness.

Loading New Map: Ponyville Season 2, King of the Hill

Twilight Sparkle’s eyes opened slightly, the blurriness of the image in front of her characteristic of a pony who had just awoken. She rolled over, which was a mistake as it led her to face the window.

She quickly turned around again. “Ugh, stupid sun…” she muttered.

“Twilight, get up!”

There was her faithful assistant, Spike. It was a surprise that he was up before her, though; usually he slept in. Twilight supposed that after the last few nights, she might just have slept in; it had happened before, of course, like after that time loop business.

Twilight groaned again, and rolled over once more. “Don’ wanna get up…” she groaned, her head flopping into the pillow after she spoke.

“Twilight, it’s 11:00 in the morning and you haven’t even had breakfast yet!” Spike said worriedly.

“Stayed up all night,” Twilight mumbled, the pillow making it sound more like ‘shtee durp ul not’.

“It can’t be that bad,” Spike said hopefully. Twilight turned her head towards him, opening her bleary eyes once more.

Spike reared back slightly. Her face was a mess. Her eyes were bloodshot, her mane was all wet, and he thought he even saw a few areas in which her lavender coat was beginning to fall off from the stress.

“O… kay… Maybe it is that bad… GottagohelpRaritybye!” And with that, Spike took off, leaving a cloud of dust in his wake. Twilight turned her face back towards the pillow, and slammed her face down.

‘Finally, I can go back to sleep-’ Her thoughts were, unfortunately, interrupted by a large pulse of magic, which threw her off her bed, waking her up fully, yet involuntarily. “GAH!” she exclaimed. Climbing to her hooves, she trotted towards the window, and looked out it.

There were enormous, smoke-like green pulses of magic coming from…

“The Everfree Forest,” Twilight whispered, her pupils dilating into pinpricks.

Loading New Map: Dark Cave, Achievement Idle

There was darkness. The army within this cave had waited for millennia for their master to return. Then, and only then, would they awaken.

The magical pulse had ignored them; it had not affected them, as the gaps within their bodies stopped them from falling apart.

But the pulse did affect something else. Deep within the cave, deeper than the army, there was a box. It was made of a material resistant to all but the strongest or strangest magic.

But when the pulse was sent through it, a crack appeared in the box. Then another. Soon, the cracks had made a large network.

The box shattered. A pair of dark blue eyes with green whites opened.

Its owner walking through the cave, they examined their surroundings. Then, they continued.

Meanwhile, once more in the segment of the cave containing the army, a pair of yellow lights flickered into existence.

Then another.

The yellow lights increased, ending with thousands in number.

Then suddenly, standing in the front of the lights was a dark brown stallion with a horn. His mane was blinding white, and, if one were to look closely, it sparked with lightning every few seconds. His cutie mark was a skull.

Then the unicorn opened his eyes, revealing his bright-green whites and blue irises.